#side of and top of the head just kisses in generall really

[kacievvbbbb]

I think Shanks gets really worried about Mihawk’s loneliness. Especially in their more quiet moments.

And I think he overcompensates by subconsciously always soothing him. Like constantly rubbing his back or rocking them in placepetting his hair all that good soothing shit, just trying to compensate for something he thinks Mihawk deserves

Mihawk has no idea what is going on and thinks this is just another way of Shanks’ weirdness manifesting. He doesn't mind tho

[megalony]

So many reasons- Part 9

Another part of my latest Roger Taylor series, thank you again for all the feedback I have received.

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Enjoy.

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There was such a big part of (Y/n) that desired to be angry at Roger. It wanted her to take off the ring on her finger and throw it back at him. For her to shout at him for the lies he had wrapped around them both and for not telling her that he was ill for so long. She wanted to leave and have some time to herself, to show Roger he couldn't do that and expect everything to be the same.

But every time she came close to doing any of those things, she stopped.

The other part of (Y/n) overruled anything and everything because deep down she knew she couldn't take the ring from her finger. She didn't marry Roger because they were in a relationship or in love, she married him to help him and he was ill and needed that help now. She couldn't shout at him anymore for those lies he had woven because he had created them out of fear for the future, out of desperation. Leaving him even for a short period of time meant they would both feel worse off and it could affect the girls which neither of them wanted.

Acting like everything was okay wasn't an option because it wasn't. They were just trying to muddle through the days, wishing to find a way that everything would get back to a sense of normal. Where they could move past this point.

Last night had been one of the worst nights for them both.

Roger couldn't seem to sleep, his chest aching from his lung that was getting battered and bruised the longer the treatment seemed to be lasting. Every so often his breaths would begin to intake sharper, his lung tightening from a sudden round of pain feeling like someone was squeezing on the organ and shaking it. Leaving him wheezing and coughing, blood coating the palm of his hand and the pillow which he couldn't hide from (Y/n) anymore.

His body had turned away from her as he curled up like a small child having a tantrum. His hand hovering over his chest but not touching the wounded area in case it simply made things worse. His eyes occasionally fluttering down to his chest, watching the growing rash he was beginning to have on his rather sensitive skin from the radiation that was blistering him both inside and out. The rash stretching up to the scar resting in the space between two of his upper ribs which (Y/n) now knew its origin.

He never said anything when (Y/n) curled herself around him, her chest pressing into his back as her arm gently wrapped around his torso. Her head tucked into the crook of his neck, both of them staying like that for a while until Roger had decided to voice his concerns.

"What if this doesn't work?"

(Y/n) hadn't needed to ask what he was referring to, already understanding that he was worried radiotherapy wasn't going to be enough to save him. Never before in his life had Roger been afraid of death, life was precious he knew that but he had never wanted to secure a long life so badly before. He didn't know what he would do if this didn't work. Roger could handle being told his cancer had come back, he could handle being told that again in the future as long as the doctors kept coming up with options to cure him. When they finally ran out or simply told him his condition was too far advanced for help, then the drummer would feel lost.

The treatment right now was taking a toll on every aspect of his life. Queen was on hold until after the radiotherapy and when Roger was finally feeling himself again. Things between him and (Y/n) were up and down and he couldn't do anything for himself or the girls. He was confined to bed or to the hospital when having treatment leaving him feeling useless. His body was having a rather bad reaction to the treatment other than the cancer being targeted of course. He wasn't eating enough and with his frame being rather skinny anyway he was beginning to lean on the unhealthy side of skinny as well as weakening himself by not eating or simply throwing everything back up that he managed to consume. His chest was painful from the rash and just his lung in general.

Roger was praying that he could have some sense of a normal life after treatment was over.

A look of surprise flooded onto (Y/n)'s face when Roger's unusually quiet voice timidly asked her if she would take him for his treatment today instead of Brian chauferring him about. He had never asked her to go since she had found out. She didn't think he would either since he had already told her he wanted to keep the news of his cancer to himself and part of that meant going to treatments and appointments on his own without anyone else. Him just asking her to tag along like this made her heart flutter in her chest because Roger was finally beginning to accept that she knew and that she was trying to help.

(Y/n) was trying her best in terms of trying to keep their lives relatively normal. If the subject of treatment or just his generall illness came up she tried to keep a neutral expression on her face, not wanting to look at him in the way that he despised, in a way that showed she was upset or feeling sorry for him. The only way to do that seemed to think that he wasn't really ill, it was so much easier to think of this as some sort of dream or a game, that it wasn't really real or happening to them. That way it was easier to try and act as if everything was still okay.

As soon as they arrived at the hospital Roger reached out, his clammy hand enveloping (Y/n)'s as she saw he was trying to stay calm looking as if they were here to visit someone instead of for him.

"This way." He mumbled quietly, his head nodding in the direction of the receptionist who he passed by every day. He didn't know her name but she always smiled kindly at him whenever he passed by and so Roger felt that he should do the same. The drummer stuffed his other hand into the pocket of his jeans, his shoulders hunching over slightly as he cleared his throat, trying to stop himself from coughing.

Roger didn't even need to tell the receptionist in the radiotherapy ward his name, he simply locked eyes with her and she nodded implying she would sign him in. He could tell she was sneaking glances over at him though. She had seen him turn up a lot of the time on his own especially in the beginning, and then Brian was his designated driver and companion who waited patiently for him. Roger had never turned up with (Y/n) before.

"It usually takes half an hour or less." Roger commented, his eyes glancing up to the clock on the wall above the doorway in front of them. He should be going in about five minutes if they were on time.

"Alright." (Y/n) responded, her voice as quiet as his own even though they were the only ones in the waiting room. Wrapping her free hand around his arm (Y/n) leaned her chin on his shoulder, pressing her lips to his exposed skin to try and calm him down. The waiting didn't bother her, she knew he would be a while and so had packed a book in her bag since the magazines here usually weren't very good. Roger could take all day and she wouldn't mind. Roger squeezed her hand as he rested his head on top of her own, breathing in her scent to try and calm his erratic heartbeat down.

This was the kind of feeling he craved, just to have her beside him like this without any arguments or pent up feelings or anymore lies between them. If he could, Roger would have frozen time at that precise moment just to linger in the bliss for a bit longer so he could remember it forever.

When a nurse finally came into the waiting room calling Roger's name he knew this moment was going to have to be lived through his memory. The drummer sighed as he pushed himself to his feet, his upper body leaning over just a little causing (Y/n) to reach out for him. Her head leaning to the side to look at him, wondering what was wrong as his hand flew to his chest. Waiting for a minute, Roger caught his breath back before attempting to straighten up, the twinging feeling in his chest dying down until he wondered if he had merely imagined it.

"Are you okay?" (Y/n) questioned, her eyes burning into his own as he nodded looking out of breath as if he had just done a sprint.

"M'fine. See you soon." When Roger was about to pull away from her and his hand let go of her own his eyes widened as her hands quickly cupped his face. Bringing his head closer to her own so she could plant a kiss to his lips before finally letting him go after the nurse. Biting down on her lip at the smile on his face, she hadn't seen him smile in days. Then again she hadn't kissed him in a few days either.

Twenty minutes went by in a flash for (Y/n) as she managed to get through three chapters of her book leaving her about halfway through it. Her eyes often glancing between the clock on the wall and the receptionist who was shooting her kind glances. (Y/n) was normally used to the annoyed receptionists who thought everyone a waste of their time so to see someone actually being kind and caring about their job was different but welcomed all the same.

Three more people had filtered into the waiting room and had been called for their appointments leaving (Y/n) sitting with an elderly woman reading one of the magazines. A man a little older than herself who was slouched in his chair, arms folded across his chest with his chin pressing just below his collar bone looking like he was going to fall asleep. And then there was a middle-aged woman who was flicking through two magazines at once, unsure what to read or what to do with herself.

Another five minutes went by in a flash before (Y/n) decided her eyes were done with reading for now. Placing her bookmark neatly between the pages, she placed her book back in her bag. Rubbing at her eyes as she stared at the doors as if willing Roger to walk out at any moment.

The sound of the telephone caught her attention, her eyes swiftly glancing over to the reception desk on her right. Watching the middle-aged receptionist answer the phone with a voice that seemed to be dipped in honey. (Y/n)'s eyes narrowed when the receptionist quickly put the phone back down before dialling a number rather quickly, her voice too hushed for (Y/n) to work out what she was saying. Not that she should have been listening, but it seemed rather urgent and people watching was a skill of hers.

"Dr Freeman?" (Y/n) questioned, her voice rather quiet when she spotted the very doctor who she had talked to when Roger had been brought in from the studio a few weeks prior. Seeing him speed walk down the corridor before leaning against the reception desk, his head turning very quickly to look at her. Surprise on his features as he didn't know Roger had told anyone of his cancer or even his treatment yet.

"Mrs Taylor." There was a certain tone to the doctor's voice that (Y/n) didn't like at all. It wasn't so much the shock at seeing her, it was the kind of look he was giving to her that put her on the edge of her seat. He seemed perplexed, was the only way (Y/n) could think to describe him at that very moment. He pressed a hand to his mouth for a moment, running his hand over his chin before he beckoned her over to him.

(Y/n) wasn't stupid, this meant that whatever phone call had been made was about Roger since Roger hadn't come out yet and it was his doctor who the receptionist had so clearly called down here.

Her legs trembled beneath her as she practically wobbled over to the elder man, her face showing she was almost in tears. Wondering why he had been called down and what had happened. Her mind praying for this to be some mistake or something so simple as Roger had fallen over or fainted and was in need of assistance. But if that was the case surely they wouldn't have called Doctor Freeman down here.

"Your husband seems to have had a complication during treatment. I'm going to go and see him now, and then I will come straight back out here and talk to you."

"A complication?" (Y/n) repeated, her body turning numb when he simply gave her a look of sympathy telling her he couldn't disclose anymore at this moment in time. She barely felt his hand resting on her shoulder as he guided her back to her seat before very quickly disappearing down the corridor Roger had gone down no more than half an hour ago.

What was wrong with Roger?