#side note; I need to get better at editing sketches so they look more… clean or msybe even try my hand at digital

[kada-kade]

The one and only… Sansa Stark⋆˚࿔

Something of a concept for her in the hand’s tourney. Still some northern elements before it all goes tragically and the south overtakes her wardrobe :)

[lynaferns]

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

EDIT: This fic is now on AO3

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

...

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

?

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

…

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

…

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

…

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

[keefiswhoiam]

April 09 - 2024 Tuesday

11:19pm

4/10

This morning I cleaned my toilet like I said. I spent a chunk of time figuring out that my spray bottle can't spray vinegar for some reason. I took my shower and made breakfast stir fry again with sausage this time.

For work I warmed up with rabbit sketches. I picked a sort of relevant animal to start practicing since I want to get better at drawing furries in general. I work on 57's commission and it got stressful at the end because he wants me to go above and beyond with the fluids. Its difficult and time consuming.

Before lunch I got in VR and was searching for a cozy wooden bathhouse world to do some writing in. I couldn't find one and settled for a more grand, stone bathhouse. I spent some time writing some thoughts down that I need to communicate soon. For lunch I made a chow mien ramen bowl in the pan with my own mixed vegetables and an applesauce.

The request today happened to be for DS on Unicorn Day of all days and it wasn't even rigged. I did a quick little lineless doodle after looking around for inspiration. Then I started working on my own stuff for an hour. DV wanted to call me while I worked to get some things off his chest regarding that SN person of his. He pointed out some things to me that kinda got me upset but he definitely didn't mean to. I listened to him until he had to go eat and I finished up my work. Then I finished BR's NSFW avatar edit before quitting for the day.

I spent my evening poking around Twitter and watching Twitch. I didn't do much of note. I was mostly waiting for DS since we were gonna do a furry tier list. When she became free, we did that and a couple other tier lists while she job searched. I took great enjoyment doing a live Cartoon Male Hotties list but it was too long for us to finish.

In bed we did puzzles and jumped straight to KH2 since it was so late. I only got a little further in Hallow Bastion. After she was asleep, I had some 'me time' I'm ashamed about because I keep fantasizing about scenarios where I'm put down. It's fun every now and then but continuing to do it has been hurting my self esteem. It seems easy enough to just think of something else but it's hard when I don't even feel worth it in my own fantasies.

~~~

Today was going well until the afternoon. Then I started thinking about some things and spiraling a little bit. And feeling really shitty about my life in general. I realize I'm not proud of any period of my life prior to maybe 2 years ago. I think usually when I say I hate myself, I hate past me. There really is not much to like about how I was back then. I REALLY hate that old me. I am chock full of regret.

On the opposite side I've been thinking about how I really do deserve someone that makes me feel wanted and is heal over heels for me just like I am for them. Its also just starting to seem possible that I could even accept a reality like that. Slowly growing my self worth is opening up a lot of possibilities.

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 14 - Unexpected Meeting

Summary: Sunset Curve Alive AU, Willex, who will they run into?, 3.2k

@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

WARNINGS: death mention, emotional trauma

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

“Man, I need a break,” Reggie was saying as he strolled with Alex down an unfamiliar street in the early evening, stretching his arms. “I mean, being in the studio all the time has been good, but on top of everything else it’s just so much!”

Unsure where they were headed, Alex walked a few paces ahead on the sidewalk, casually navigating for both of them. He squinted as he looked at Reggie.

“Reggie, you dropped, like, all of your classes once we signed on.”

“Nope!” his friend exclaimed, tilting his head in a proud manner. “I just needed two electives to graduate. It’s okay, though, man. Not everyone finishes their math requirements as a freshman.” Reggie patted Alex’s shoulder, as if it were any sort of consolation.

“No, good for you Reg,” Alex said. His parents had paid for all this private tutoring and even gotten him to take some college credits early. Of course, his only serious plan after high school had been the band so it was all wasted effort, but then all of their attempts with him amounted to that. He was learning to feel less guilty over it. It wasn’t his fault they never cared about what he wanted.

“How long do you think Luke and Bobby are gonna be workshopping their parts together?” Reggie asked.

“Long enough. Where are we going, exactly?”

“Oh, I was just kind of keeping an eye out for anywhere interesting.”

Alex blinked. “I thought we were headed somewhere specific.”

“I’ve only been to this side of L.A. like, once, so I don’t think I’d make a good tour guide,” Reggie stated.

And just like that, Alex’s mind thrust itself back into remembering Willie. He was getting better at not crumbling completely in the moment, but it still felt like his heart was temporarily dunked into a dark ocean of misery. It would remain waterlogged and heavy inside his chest for a while.

“Alex?” Reggie was saying, looking at him with concern. “You okay?”

Snapping his thoughts back to the present, Alex sighed as he looked back at Reggie.

“I’ll be fine.”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket and pressed his arms against his sides. Shoulders hunched, he continued through the crowd. Focusing on walking would hopefully help it wear off. He made every step purposeful, trying to get the weight in his heart to fall through his feet. Reggie’s hand on his shoulder made him turn.

“It’s still rough, isn’t it?” he asked gently. “If I said something - ”

“It’s not your fault,” Alex tried to assure him. “Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere. Besides, I can’t make you and everyone else walk on eggshells.”

“Maybe not, but we’re in this with you. It may have been different for us, but we all met Willie. I’d never seen you warm up to anyone that fast. Even after a few months, it’s still fresh; don’t force yourself to be better for us.”

Pausing on the sidewalk, Alex looked up at Reggie. He tried to smile as gratitude edged its way in, relieving most of the heaviness in his chest.

“I appreciate that, Reg.”

“Of course, man.”

“So,” Alex took a deep breath to let everything else wash away as they kept wandering. “You made it sound like you had a lot going on. Is everything at home okay?”

Reggie shrugged. “Eh...no change there. My mom went to stay with her sister after the last fight, so my dad’s been trying his best to take care of everything, but he’s too upset to handle it well. My little sister has just been sleeping over with friends anyway, and I can handle myself, so - ” he shrugged again, “ - you know, I do what I can.”

Alex nodded. He had nothing really to comment, and Reggie knew he was always there to support him. This wasn’t anything unusual for him, but it still wasn’t right. Neither of them spent much time at their own homes, so wandering through the city like this kept them occupied when they weren’t with the rest of the band. Looking up at the store signs around them, he saw a record store about a block ahead.

“Hey, why don’t we check that out?” he suggested.

“Yeah!” Reggie said, dropping any ounce of gloom from the previous subject and skipping along to catch up with Alex.

A small bell rang as they came through the door, and they immediately began filtering through shelves of records and CDs. Peeking toward the back of the store, Alex could see a counter that offered a menu of food and drinks, some tables, as well as the smallest stage in the world. This seemed like a neat little place.

“Oh,” Reggie started after a while. “I got us a gig playing at my cousin’s wedding.”

“A wedding?” Alex said skeptically, turning from the Pansy Division vinyl he was checking out. “When we’re trying to finish a record and go on tour?”

“It’s Conrad, okay, he’s family! And he said we could make the setlist.”

Alex shrugged, considering that was fair.

“...with his approval.”

At that addition, Alex could only sigh and shake his head.

“And then maybe, you could, I don’t know, finally ask Bobby to be your date?”

Reggie put down the Mötley Crüe album he’d been examining and looked up at him in shock. Alex realized he’d possibly been too blunt. But immediately Reggie began to cover it up, laughing and shaking his head.

“What?” he said, his denial completely transparent. “Was that a...was that supposed to be a joke or something?”

Giving him a look of pity, Alex put his hands on his hips.

“You’re really gonna try to pull the wool over the eyes of your gay friend?”

Caught, Reggie looked back at him in defeat and bowed his head.

“I’m gonna guess you noticed a while ago?”

Nodding, Alex tried to soften his demeanor. 

“There’s been something up with you two for months. How come you haven’t tried to talk to him about it?”

Reggie knit his brow and began fiddling with his fingers.

“Well, I’m a little confused by it, to be honest. Cuz, I mean...I like girls, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“But I like Bobby, too.”

“Okay.”

His friend looked up at him, expecting more of a reaction. Alex leaned against the shelf and folded his arms.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with you? Because you’re talking to the king of wrong feelings.”

“Well, sometimes I feel like that, but not really. It’s something else,” Reggie said.

“Like what?”

“Well...we’ve been friends for years. It just sort of crept up on me and I don’t know what to do. What if he rejects it? He’s one of my best friends.”

Thinking for a moment, Alex looked down at his feet. He didn’t blame Reggie for being worried. He’d had a mini crush on Bobby for a couple weeks back in ninth grade and had the same dilemma. It was easier for him to get over, though, simply because it had faded quickly.

“Well, I wish I could say if it’s meant to be it’ll happen, but sometimes…”

Sometimes it dies in a fire before there’s any chance of knowing.

He shook his head to get rid of the awful thought and ignored Reggie’s look of concern.

“But if I know Bobby, I don’t think it’s going to harm anything. I think you should go for it, Reg. I truly, honestly, will back you up on that.”

A smile spread wide across Reggie’s face.

“Thanks, man!”

Without fretting over it for another second, he turned back to the shelf of CDs he’d been perusing, and Alex did the same. There was a crazy good selection, and Alex wished he could get his hands on a record player. Playing CDs on a boombox worked for some things, but there was a level of charm in playing something on a vinyl record that appealed to him even more. He made a note to get a small notebook to carry in his fanny pack, hoping to return to this store and make a wishlist of sorts to work toward.

“Do I see Alex and Reggie of Sunset Curve?” A familiar voice said from behind.

Both of them turned to find Flynn standing in the aisle, braids tied up into a high ponytail and eyebrow arched in her usual smart fashion.

“Hey Flynn!” Reggie exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. Alex went in for one afterward, happily surprised.

“Hey guys!” she said, grinning.

“What are you up to?” Alex asked.

“Gonna be performing in a bit,” she said excitedly. “Just a warm up before the main group comes on. I’ve been working on some of my own stuff; I think you guys would love it! Got time to stick around?”

“Sweet!” Reggie raised a fist for her to bump. “I’m down. Alex, wanna stay?”

“Yeah, sounds great!”

He had yet to see what Flynn was capable of. If he were to judge only on knowing she’d been in a duo with Julie, he expected it to be good.

“Also, you should try the burritos here,” Flynn told them. “They are to die for!”

The endless click-rollll-click-click-click of his board filled his ears as Willie moved through the street, feeling the wind pass over him in the way that made freedom feel like he could clutch it in his hands. He’d actually spent today not worrying about Alex. It felt good not to dwell on what little past he had access to. Of course, he still had repetitive dreams about the few memories that had come back, but the backwards one with Caleb in it hadn’t come back ever since he’d gotten to LA. Moving forward felt...nice.

He had spent the morning sketching at the beach, getting all sorts of practice in. The beautiful waves, seagulls, the different activities all around him. Somehow a group of young college kids had gotten him to join their volleyball tournament. Willie wasn’t sure if he’d ever played it before, but once he caught onto the game, he’d gotten surprisingly good. It felt nice to roll up the hem of his jeans and dig his toes into the warm sand while playing with a group of strangers. They’d nicknamed him Mowgli, whatever that meant. He liked the sound of it though.

Heading off to work after cleaning himself up, he realized he could spend all his free time that way. Peacefully sketching, meeting fun people, and enjoying his surroundings. Was that all it took to be happy? Willie chuckled at the thought of how much Caleb had stressed over rising to the top of his business game, never appearing to be satisfied with any of it. Leaving Vegas remained the best decision he’d ever made. Of course, he wasn’t always proud about his method of burning down the shed, but it had been one of those...heat of the moment things.

Willie skated up to the back entrance and shook his hair out after lifting off his helmet. Just a few short hours of making food, some chill entertainment, and he could peace out for the night. He headed inside the store and right into the small kitchen. Thankfully, the store didn’t fit too many patrons and it was never hard to keep up with orders, and Kyle had a system so he never had to leave the kitchen. This basically meant he could jam to the live music during the lulls between orders with no interruption.

Kyle entered the kitchen just as Willie was tying on his apron.

“Hey, dude, thanks for coming. We actually got two acts coming in, so it should be a full crowd. Katelyn can be the MC for the first bit, but do you mind taking over for the second half?”

A twinge of excitement came over Willie and he lit up. He’d never gotten to try being an MC before.

“Don’t mind at all!” he said.

“Alright, man!” Kyle exclaimed. “First two orders up: swamp style nachos and a bog burrito.”

“Got it.”

“We’re up for a big night with these performances,” the girl hosting hyped up the crowd. “Let’s give it up for our artist of the night: Flynn Taylor!”

Reggie cupped his hands over his mouth as he hollered along with everyone else’s applause. Alex clapped with a mouthful of nachos. Flynn stepped onto the stage behind a set of deejay turntables, smirking as she began flipping switches and turning knobs.

“Thanks for coming out here everyone,” she said into the mic. More applause and whistles echoed through the room. “We’re gonna make a lot of noise tonight, so let me hear you get pumped!”

As she began playing a beat, Alex bobbed along, immediately interested. He didn’t know a thing about mixing, so he was highly impressed with the different sounds she was using. Then Flynn picked up the mic and began rapping and the whole room cheered.

“...I’m a princess, I don’t need a prince, boy I’m priceless...I’m here to shut it down like a night shift…”

“Man,” Reggie leaned over to Alex. “She’s so good! I say we book her to open for us ASAP as possible.”

Alex merely snorted and chuckled at Reggie’s misuse of the acronym. He actually enjoyed the idea of having Flynn rapping to open for their rock shows. Gigs where all the bands sounded the same got a little flavorless sometimes.

“Also,” Reggie said as he took a huge bite into his burrito. “This is the best burrito I’ve ever had.”

“Lemme try some, you can try my nachos,” Alex said.

All Reggie could say was Mm! as he passed the burrito over.

The final beats of the first performer echoed in the kitchen where Willie had been dancing, waving various kitchen tools around. He’d thoroughly enjoyed the whole set, and wondered what sounded so familiar about the girl who was rapping. Before he could spend more time thinking about it, Kyle came in.

“Okay, you ready?” he asked.

“I just keep people busy and then announce the next group, right?” Willie guessed.

“Yeah, man, you’ve got this!”

“What’s the next group called?”

“Downslide. And they brought some merch, so it’s a good idea to mention that to the crowd as well.”

“Okay,” Willie nodded, slipping out of his apron. “Maybe I could put their t-shirt on or something, you know, sell the look?”

Kyle looked impressed. “Yeah! I’ll go see what they’ve got.”

He left the kitchen and hardly a minute later returned with a jacket.

“They said you could wear it for the night. Not gonna lie, I wish I could wear this, it’s a sweet jacket.”

Willie slipped it on, and turned around. He didn’t often wear jackets, but whatever it was made of was pretty soft.

“Guess I’m ready,” he said, giving Kyle a hand slide and fist bump before leaving the kitchen. He stepped up behind the microphone and looked out at the crowd, and further back, the empty store.

At that moment, he heard the bell of the store door ring and two guys walked outside. Through the window, a familiar leather jacket passed. Then, he saw a head of blonde hair follow, turning to look both ways to cross the street, and his heart grew to fill all the empty space in his chest. It was unmistakable. It had to be.

“Alex...” he breathed quietly into the microphone. Adrenaline immediately went out to his extremities. The crowd before him looked bewildered as they waited for him to announce the next group.

Glancing offstage, he saw Kyle give him a strange look. Willie shook his head, unclear what message he was sending but ultimately knowing he couldn’t stay at his current spot. Before he could think anything else, his legs were bounding out the door. It felt like every ounce of blood in his veins knew. The search was over.

Reggie and Alex had just reached the opposite corner. He wasn’t going to miss his chance.

“Alex!” he cried, running to meet them.

He immediately thrust his arms around a surprised Alex, gripping him tightly, burying his face into his shoulder.

“Oh my god, Alex!” he said, panting. “It’s so good to see you.”

He didn’t feel the hug didn’t reciprocate, and instead Alex grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away. The darkness of the street seemed to envelop him.

“What are you - ?” Alex started, staring back at Willie like he’d just been assaulted. Then shock wiped over his whole face. Then confusion. And then a pain came over all of it that made Willie’s concern grow.

“What - what is it?” he asked, all the excitement gone.

Alex wouldn’t look him in the eye, and he raised a hand to hold the side of his head.

“No, this isn’t real,” he whispered to himself, shrinking backward and shutting his eyes. “This can’t be real.”

Willie glanced over at Reggie, who also stared like he was seeing the impossible. He could see Alex shaking and heard a rattled breath, and felt tension grow thick in the air. Quickly, he went to take Alex’s face in his hands.

“Alex, hey, look, it’s me,” he soothed. He fought to get a look directly into his eyes. “It’s me, Willie.”

Finally, the green ocean gazed back at him, turbulent and restless. What once had been a grounding rhythm of waves had turned into a maelstrom of despair. Even worse were the tears welling up right before him. Willie watched the storm rage for a few seconds, seeking for a moment of calm.

“What’s wrong?” he murmured, lowering his hands. Alex looked so wounded it frightened him.

“How are you alive?” Alex begged to know.

Blinking, Willie sat back, astounded at those words. While he agreed it was a miracle he was still alive, he couldn’t fathom why Alex would ask such a question. He chuckled merely out of discomfort.

“I’m here.” Willie glanced at Reggie, looking for an explanation. “Flesh and bone. Why? What happened?”

Alex looked at him incredulously, jaw hanging open. He looked so tightly wound and so scattered all at once. 

“Caleb told me you were dead.”

Willie blanched inwardly at the mention of Caleb, but even more so at the rest of that sentence he’d been utterly unprepared to hear.

“He...he - ” he stammered for a moment. “When would you have even talked to him?”

Sharing a look with Reggie, Alex took a deep breath. Then he looked back at Willie hesitantly.

“We see him all the time. We work for him now.”

It was Willie’s turn to drop his jaw.

“We’ve been signed to his record label for a few months now,” Reggie pitched in.

Directing his gaze to the ground, Willie puzzled for a minute.

“Why would I be dead?” he asked, looking back up at Alex.

For a minute Alex simply gazed at him wordlessly.

“I don’t know,” he said. There was a pause as both of them finally looked at each other, fully aware that this was real. And then Alex threw his arms around Willie to return the hug. Willie had to raise himself up on his toes to avoid falling over, and he tightened his grip to remain steady. He felt joy spread through his whole torso and breathed a sigh of relief as hands tangled into his hair. “But that doesn’t matter. I’m so happy to see you.”

[beanenigma]

Tips for people who like to write by hand

So you’re an old timey writer who enjoys the feeling of paper as you breathe life into a story? Or, like me, you can’t use your phone at school and just wants to get some writing done while math class bores the others? 

Well, me too and I’ve come to your aid! I’ve done some pretty stupid things that costed me hours and hours of searching for lost scenes and struggling to find ideas I knew I’d written down so you don’t have to! 

Find the right notebook for you

By experience, notebooks take a long time to be filled. In good nanowrimo times, I take from 6 to 8 months to finish one. So you’ll be stuck with this guy for a long time. Make sure to pick one that you like and is right for your needs. I, for example, prefer spiral notebooks. You can rip out pages if you need to (if you mess it up, if someone asks you for one, if you just need a page to write down a grocery list or something, etc) and you can put a pen on the spiral. I also like having a pocket to put pieces of ideas I have. 

Some spooky stories about having the wrong notebook: 

I got stuck with a brochure old planner for two years. My mom didn’t use it in the year it was meant for, so I thought oh, it’s free real estate. As it turns out, it had really small space between the lines, so the pages would take forever to fill, it had all those day and hour numbers and the paper was really thin. It was terrible and it made writing terrible. It would have been a thousand times better if I just spent a few bucks on a regular notebook. 

More recently, I started using just the kind of notebook I like, a spiral notebook with a pocket. But I bought it a couple of years ago at a fandom event I attended and the cover was a personalized Divergent cover. At the time, I thought if was pretty cool and everyone would know the reference. But now it has aged so very poorly. The cover has blood all over it and it says “Faction Before Blood”. So now I’m scared to pull it out to write at uni and people will think I’m in a gang or something. 

Number your pages

I know, it sounds like a lot of work. But you can get a notebook with pages already numbered, number it yourself or do it like I do and number it every 10 pages (just because it’s easier). If you don’t feel like doing all of this repetitive work,  date your writing. It’s cool to see how much you progressed, how long you have been writing this project, when you had this idea, etc. One thing doesn’t have to exclude the other, but both methods serve the same purpose. 

And this purpose is to help you get an idea of how much you write (and feel good about your progress) and to help you organize yourself on all you’ve been writing. Which takes us to the next tip. 

Make the first page an index

Not only it will take the pressure off the first page, it will also help you so you don’t keep losing the awesome stuff you’re writing and forgetting it exists. Everytime you start a new scene or change projects, go to the index and write down the page or the date you started this new section. Since I number every ten pages, I find the first page with a number on it and start counting forward or back to the new page. But you can do it in any way that suits you. 

Make a random idea page 

It doesn’t have to be the second page (it usually isn’t for me), but it’s good to have one. Sometimes, in the middle of writing, you have that great idea for something you need to change on what you’ve already got, or you got a completely new insight. It’s good to have your idea page somewhere close you can just flip to, write it down and get right back to writing. And don’t go easy on that page! Write it diagonally, vertically, draw on it, anything. It’s just there to take out those ideas so you can take a look at it another time and not mess the flow you’re in right now. 

Keep your enemies close. And your pen even closer!

You know your favorite bic friend? It has a secret weapon just for you to use. That little flap of the cap? Use it to keep your pen always close. I normally put it on the spiral of my notebook. But if you have a brochure, you can put it on the cover. Sometimes it damages it a bit, but it’s a good trade for having it always ready for action. If you use moleskine, I saw that they normally have designated pen places. If they don’t, I have a tip for it just under this one! 

Take your time to find which kind of pen is your weapon of choice. Personally, I think nothing beats a black ballpoint pen. I know some people like fineliners for writing, but they make the other side of the paper all gross looking and I like to keep it clean. Plus, I write really small and fineliners often bleed in my handwriting. I took my time searching for my favorite brand and I settled on Molin ballpoint pens. 

I would recommend buying your favorite pens in bulk. Nothing is worse than pen hunting around when you have an urgent idea. I bought 50 pens for super cheap and I stack them EVERYWHERE. In all my bags, in my sketchbooks, in my bullet journal, in my writing notebook, in my drawers, anywhere I think it will be easy to find one when I need it ( also giving some to my friends who keep stealing my pens).

Crafting the perfect notebook

You don’t have to be a crafter to modify your notebook to better suit you! Find a ribbon anywhere in the house. Cut it to be a little longer than the book. Tape that bad boy to the inside of the back cover and everytime you stop writing, put that ribbon on the page you stopped. This helps you not to get lost in your previous writing and get right back to business when you resume.

Also, if you really like that moleskine vibe but don’t have the cash, just get a regular clothing elastic, make cut it just the size of the notebook and glue both ends to the inner part of the back cover. There you go! Now you can close it (and keep it closed).  

If you like post-its, you can take half of the block (or however many sheets you cant put in there and still close the notebook comfortably) and glue it to the inside part of the cover of your notebook so it will always be conveniently available for you.

If your notebook doesn’t have a place to put your pen on and you really don’t want to mess up the cover, you  take a small elastic (smaller than the pen) and tape (or preferably glue it) it to the back part of the notebook with both ends inside. There! Ready for the trip! Speaking of which...

Always carry your notebook with you

You never know when inspiration is going to strike. In class. At the bank. In a mall. Whenever you have a little time, you can write something. Or just take a look at what you’ve done and feel good about it. 

Not in the mood for writing? Edit. Reread what you’ve done and start finding what you want to change once you type it in.  When doing this, don’t be scared to cross out entire sentences and rewriting them on top. If it starts getting too messy, go to a blank page and rewrite the scene and you think it should have been done the first time. It seems counter-intuitive in a copy+paste kind of age, but I assure you it is worth it.

Typing your work

This is one of the biggest reasons I love writing in pen and paper. When you type, your first round of editing is done! 

Don’t zone out when typing. As I said, typing is your first round of editing. It is important to keep aware of all of the things you might have done wrong when writing. Some people say writing it on paper and then typing it is a waste of time. I say it saves time and lives. 

Keep it loose!

Just because you are writing in an actual physical book, it doesn’t mean you are writing a actual physical book. This is still your notebook and these are still your notes. So don’t be afraid to get messy. Write things out of order (seriously, it’s okay to not go chronological. i know it’s hard). Outline. Sketch. Tip-ex the whole thing. Get post-its on it. Take notes. Make genealogical trees. Draw maps. 

If you’re feeling down or uninspired, try very basic writing exercises: write what you see, what you feel, something to try and make you laugh or something to make someone cry. It’s your place to express yourself. And once you got those creative juices flowing, happy writing :)

I hope you enjoyed my tips and please, feel free to reblog this with your own tips and tricks. I’d love to hear them! And follow me for some more writing content! 

[literatehiss]

Share and Share-alike

Day 5 of PeterMartin Week - Gift Read on AO3 here Peter loves to give gifts to Martin, expensive pretty things. Martin doesn't have the money to buy the sorts of things Peter likes but he can certainly make something

Martin could not avoid the fact that Peter enjoyed spending money on him. From the beautiful black coat he had given him for the funeral, to the new shoes when the soles of the ones he normally used wore too thin. He spared no expense either, brands that were eye-wateringly expensive. Even their semi-weekly lunch dates cost enough for Martin to feel a slither of guilt induced nausea if he peeked at the bill. Martin often didn’t feel like he deserved all these nice things but Peter was often swift to come up with reasons why he deserved all that and more. Talking of dedication to his work and bravery. Martin had a secret thought sometimes that half of the reasoning behind Peter’s gifts were that the older man wouldn’t know what to do without Martin there to fix everything that “went wrong” with his computer.

Peter had recently picked up on his love of poetry if the book on his desk was any indication. Martin had come into work that morning juggling his bag and coffee for the two of them, nearly spilling them all over himself as he cracked his office door open.

He didn’t notice the package on his desk at first, it was only as he settled down and switched his laptop on that he saw the paper wrapped parcel. It was tied with string and Martin thought it endearingly retro. He had a fondness for old fashioned things and he supposed that might have been part of Peter’s charm, not that he would ever admit that to his boss.

He pulled the string and the paper fell apart to show its contents. A book of Yeats’ poetry, Martin took the opportunity since Peter was not there to roll his eyes, and a notebook and pen set. He moved the book to one side. The notebook was thick and leather bound and Martin knew he was going to end up so anxious that he would ruin it that he would never write in it. He decided to only write up his finished poems in it, and to carefully sketch the words in pencil first. The pen was the sort of type that you refilled from ink rather than use cartridges. The tip of the pen was gold and it felt heavy in his hand. Another unnecessary expense and he considered scolding Peter for the waste of money. He carefully placed them into this bag, no need for them to get dusty or damaged before he could get them home.

As he picked up the book of poetry, a note slipped out.

Martin,

You have mentioned your poetry a few times and, while it is not something I have shown interest in myself, I remembered reading this when I was younger. I slipped it out of the library at Moorland the last time we went. They won’t miss it and I know you would appreciate it.

Yours,

Peter Lukas

Martin choked at the idea that this book was stolen from the Lukas family home and he was almost so afraid that he would have dropped it. Luckily he didn’t and not only because the book looked old, its binding frail and the colours of the cover faded (though prolonged exposure to the Forsaken, such as the constant Lonely aura in Moorland House, could do that in a mere couple of years.) He carefully opened the front page, it was a first edition of course and Martin had to take a moment to consider the cost of the book in his hands and firmly decided for his own well being not to look up the price online. It was, despite the ridiculous price, a very thoughtful gift and it warmed his heart to think that Peter had gone through that much trouble just to give Martin something that he didn’t even know if he would like.

He couldn’t stop the faint smile that grew on his face and didn’t leave throughout the rest of the day. Peter didn’t show up at all, even when Martin knocked on his office door to thank him for the gift.

How could he even put into words how much it meant to him. He loved all of Peter’s gifts, but they were often practical, something that Peter could play off as just being concerned for his assistant. This was the first gift that Peter had given for the sheer purpose of making Martin happy.

Martin thought about it all the way home to his little apartment. Peter had offered to pay for a bigger place a month or so back and Martin had turned him down only because the thought made him feel oddly embarrassed. He sat down and carefully transcribed a few of his favourite of his poems into the notebook and left them to dry while he made dinner.

He shifted his knitting needles off the side table for his tea as he sat down in front of the tv, the sound of them clattering to the floor making him jump a little. He looked at them for a moment.

One of the things that Martin and Peter shared was an appreciation for jumpers. Peter always wore stiff scratchy sweaters that Martin could have sworn were designed to be as uncomfortable as possible. He knew they were some fancy brand and that Peter had five or so in his wardrobe in the same shade of grey. Martin in the other hand loved his hand knit sweaters, soft and warm. Before he had worked at the Institute he had used to make them out of all sorts of colours, mixing in the same jumper just because he could. He had needed to be a little more professional once he got a job at the  Institute, though with how little respect Jon had for the dress code the neutral tones he had favoured when he worked in the library shifted into solid bright colours once in the Archives. He should however, still have some left of the pale neutral colours from before. He sifted through his wool to check, yes just enough as long as he didn’t make too many mistakes.

It took him quite some time and Peter’s flow of little gifts didn’t stop in that time. He had been forced to throw a coffee onto one of Peter’s jumpers and make excuses that he was going to get it cleaned just so he could get the sizing right. It was about two months of knitting when he got home from his long days at work before the thing was finished. He wrapped it in brown paper and tied it in twine like the book had been and set off to work early.

The Institute was always lonely for Martin these days, but it at least felt more natural when the place was actually empty. He knocked on the door to Peter’s office and peeked his head round the door, no one was inside. He crept into Peter’s office and placed the gift on the old, heavy wooden desk. Martin ran off back to his own office to start his work, waiting for a response from Peter.

Lunch passed by and there was nothing.

He waited all day, sighing as the end of the work-day arrived and Peter was no where to be seen.

Martin was just about to crack open his office door to leave when Peter pushed it open.

He was wearing the jumper, the soft white contrasting quite nicely against the dark blue of his coat.

“Hello Pe-”

“Thank you for the jumper Martin. You… I… You didn’t to do that. Where did you buy it from, might I ask, I would not mind another.” He was trying to look stoic but Martin was not fooled at all.

“You are welcome Peter. And I didn’t buy it, I made it for you. If you give me another couple of months I can make you another though, that wouldn’t be a problem.”

Martin thought he was hallucinating at first, but no, Peter was flushing red and there was a slight smile that he was clearly trying to repress. “Yes, um well. Thank you again Martin. See you tomorrow.”

Peter didn’t even have the decency to walk back out the door before disappearing into the Lonely. Martin snorted and left the office with a grin on his face. It was good to feel appreciated.

“Simon what do I do? He made me this sweater and it’s really nice! It is soft and he made it! He didn’t even buy it. No one had ever put that much effort into something for me! None of my gifts have been as nice as this. It was in the same pattern as my other jumpers so it doesn’t even stand out, its just much better. Why are the ones I bought so uncomfortable Simon? I just thought that’s the way they had to be but clearly not. And look at this letter he slipped into the package.”

Peter,

The book was a very thoughtful gift. Thank you.

Love, Martin “Love? Love! Does that mean what I think it does or is he just being nice? Simon don’t just sit there and laugh, answer me! What does it mean? And he offered to make me another even though I hadn’t given him anything nice. Is he expecting me to give him something for the next jumper? I will have to think of something really good. Maybe I will get him that flat, that will be good enough right? Simon you have hundreds of years experience why are you no help at all!? This isn’t funny!”

[dangerdaysdiary]

From Cassie the Venomous... A Danger Days FAQ

You can find the original post on Cassie’s website here.

Frequently asked 'Danger Days...' Questions Answered!March 18, 2011Now that My Chemical Romance's Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys is out, I'm finding more and more questions about it leading people to this site. I figured it would be beneficial to address some of the ones that are asked most frequently in one place for the benefit of all! I hope this helps! ORIGINAL POST:  November 24, 2010 @ 11:57 P.M. UPDATED: March 18, 2011 @ 9:47 P.M. ____ The Killjoys Fun Ghoul -Corresponding MCR member: Guitarist, Frank Iero -Raygun: Green with horror-style stickers attached to it -Symbol: A smiling face with one eye crossed out and a jagged mouth -Physical Description: Wears a yellow shirt with black-striped accents over which he wears a military vest. In the video for "SING," Fun Ghoul bears a scar on the right side of his face at his mouth. -Mask: Purple and green Frankenstein mask -Additional Information: ... Jet Star -Corresponding MCR member: Guitarist, Ray Toro -Raygun: Blue with red and white details and the text "BECAUSE I SAID SO" -Symbol: Star with a face and a lightening bolt rising from its left side -Physical Description: Wears an eyepatch on his right side. His jacket displays an American flag on its back. -Mask: Black astronaut-style helmet -Additional Information: The original name for Jet Star was "Raygun Jones." Kobra Kid -Corresponding MCR member: Bassist, Mikey Way -Raygun: Red with white details and a decal that says "deluxe" (his raygun was originally named "Demon-shark Deluxe"). -Symbol: the face of a hissing cobra -Physical Description: Wears a red jacket over a yellow-and-black zebra-print shirt -Mask: Yellow helmet with blue and red eye-like details that displays the message “GOOD LUCK” on its visor -Additional Information: In addition to his raygun, Kobra Kid can also be seen using a power glove in the video for “Na Na Na…." Mikey describes Kobra Kid as a "misunderstood" character with a "short temper" who "knows Kung-Fu." Party Poison -Corresponding MCR member: Vocalist, Gerard Way -Raygun: yellow with pink details and "Give Me Money" written in Japanese on its side. -Symbol: pill with an "X" beneath it -Physical Description: Wears a blue jacket with red details, a "dead pegasus" logo on the front and his Killjoy symbol on the back -Mask: yellow domino mask with blue circular details and clown-style eyes or a decorated "mousekat" helmet. -Additional Information: Party Poison was among the Danger Days... characters active on Twitter preceding the album's release. The Killjoys' names, which Mikey Way told NME are "themed after designer drugs," started as the names of their rayguns, but later turned into character names. The band has said that their Killjoy personas are not characters they are playing, but how they picture themselves in the future. Are the Killjoys Dead? Currently, as a result of the “SING” video, the Killjoys are presumed dead. However, a picture from Gerard Way of “Party Poison” in what appears to be an unzipped body bag (left) captioned “Killjoys never die” has many fans questioning how dead they truly are. UPDATE: April 10, 2011 Dr. Death Defying tweeted: that "there are four acceptable levels of dead after posting an ode to Party Poison, whom he called "dearly departed." More information will follow if the four levels of dead are explained further. Dr. Death Defying Played by Steve Righ? of Mindless Self Indulgence, Dr. Death Defying is the smooth-talking narrator who filters in-and-out of Danger Days…. He is a D.J. for 109 F.M., WKIL, a pirate radio station that operates in the Zones. He is recognized by his “Slaughtermatic Sounds” jacket, which also says “Jackals” and “Philly,” his aviator sunglasses and the bandanna he wears tied around his head. Dr. Death Defying uses an electric wheelchair because of an apparent injury to his left leg, to which an electric brace is strapped. In an hour-long video “listening party” hosted by the D.J., the character implied that he is a veteran, possibly of the Helium Wars, which have been alluded to vaguely. Show Pony and the Girl Show Pony, the character who can be recognized by his "NOISE" half-shirt, blue-and-white polka-dot tights & helmet and rollerskates is the companion of Dr. Death Defying, the narrator of Danger Days... (played by Steve from Mindless Self Indulgence). Show Pony is played by performer Ricky "Rebel" (Twitter | Reverbnation). Rebel opened for My Chemical Romance as Show Pony at the band's Hollywood album release show. The actress who plays the Killjoy girl in the videos, whose character name has thus far only been "the Girl," goes by Grace Jeanette. She, too, is an actress and a musical performer. The Girl's role in the Danger Days world appears to be a significant one; as, she was kidnapped by Better Living Industries for a stull-unknown reason. The Zones and Battery City

The Killjoys world centers around Battery City and its surrounding concentric Zones. The map to the left shows how the Zones are laid out in relation to the city. Utopian Battery City is central, corporate, clean and the center of manufacturing. It is where Battery Towers is located. Battery City, California is the setting for My Chemical Romance's "SING" video, to give you a better perception of what it looks like. The setting for the "Na Na Na..." video is in the Zones, which are a more lawless, desert terrain in which the Killjoys live, run and fully embrace their freedom. The Zones are dirty, wild and dangerous-- the opposite of Battery City. Geographic landmarks include: Route Guano, which is the road on which Gerard has said, "the shit happens." It is where Jet Star and Kobra Kid are "ghosted" by an exterminator in the Danger Days... track "Jet-Star and The Kobra Kid/Traffic Report." "The Getaway Mile," which may be a specific location, is mentioned in the song "Bulletproof Heart." There is also a place which Dr. Death Defying on Twitter called "Wolfblood Beach." Better Living Industries Better Living Industries (Also known as BLI, BL/ind, or BL industries) is the corporation that controls Battery City. The corporation strives to bring about structure in a post-apocalyptic world. It is known for producing emotion-eliminating medications as well as every other manufactured product one can acquire in 2019. BLI crosses over from the Killjoys world and into real life. The made-up corporation has its own  web site with products that you can actually purchase, a mission statement and a "Zone Report" in both Japanese and English.  Also, MCR takes it a step further by having changed the name under which their music is published to "Better Living Industries Music," which you can see in the liner notes of Danger Days.... BLI also overtakes the edited version of Danger Days..., whiting out the internal album art, taking away the lyrics and putting its smiling face logo (above right) all over it. The Danger Days: California 2019 Edition box set is packaged in a BLI box and the 3-song The Mad Gear & Missile Kid E.P. that comes with it is printed on a disc made to look like a BLI brand CD-R. Check out some BL/ind commercials and "Fact News" reports. Dead Pegasus Dead Pegasus is a 2019 oil company. Korse, Draculoids and S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Korse is an exterminator for BL/ind's SCARECROW Unit. In the videos, he is played by comic writer Grant Morrison. The "SING" video has raised speculation among fans that Korse could possibly a robot of some sort; as, he is seemingly "activated" in his chamber by the push of a button. Some also speculate, based on Gerard Way's character sketches and his indicating that Korse suffers from "Zone sickness," that he may stay in the  chamber shown in the "SING" video for medical reasons. Grant Morrison revealed to MTV that Korse is "intimately connected with the Killjoys and their secret history," which has yet to be revealed. The SCARECROW Unit of BL/ind is a sort of police force. Korse leads it, and The Draculoids are the other exterminators that appear to be of lower ranking than Korse. They're a "clean-up crew" for the Zones, getting rid of the things and people who do not comply with the monochromatic standards of Better Living Industries. The Mad Gear And Missile Kid

The Mad Gear and Missile Kid is My Chemical Romance's alter-ego band for Danger Days... Mad Gear is what MCR imagined the Killjoys would listen to in 2019. Fans who ordered the California 2019 Box Set received a bonus E.P. of the three tracks MCR recorded as The Mad Gear And Missile Kid: 1. F.T.W.W.W. (acronym for "fuck this whole wide world") 2. "Mastas Of Ravenkroft" 3. "Black Dragon Fighting Society" The genesis of TMG&MK came with the writing of "Black Dragon Fighting Society," which was originally recorded for the pre-Danger Days album the band "scrapped." "F.T.W.W.W." and "Mastas of Ravenkroft" followed as songs created specifically for TMG&MK. Gerard Way told Alternative Press that the MCR is interested in creating a full album as The Mad Gear and Missile Kid and that they would like to play shows as the alter-ego band on off-days of tours in the future. EVENTS in the Zones 2012: The Great Fires 2017: The Pig Bomb ?: Helium Wars

-- If there's something about which you are confused that you would like added to this post, let me know! Consider this a perpetual draft that will update as often as you, Reader, need it to. Also, please don't hesitate to submit corrections! I have compiled the information in this post using knowledge I've gained from interviews of the band by several sources. Suggested Reading to Expand your Killjoys Knowledge: The Twitter development of the Zones presented in a linear fashion. A full interview transcript series posted by Coup De Main Magazine. XoXo c.

[toxicsquad]

There is no better way to get to know someone than through a good question tag. In this case we have decided to make an Indie game dev question tag with the responses of our four developers. We hope that it will reveal many unknowns, but if you are left with any questions, do not hesitate to use our ask.

What part of game development are you responsible for?

Athe: I write and write, I melt in my seat, I correct, I cry and then I program. It’s an endless cycle. Occasionally I laugh like crazy while I eat Pringles.

Sam: I draw and color without leaving the lines (almost always) the sprites, the illustrations and the ravings that usually occur to us past 3 in the morning.

Illy: English translations.

Sher: I draw BGs

What tools do you use (hardware / software)?

Athe: Recently my desktop PC has passed away, so I’ve had to rescue my old PC from the garage. I also have a laptop that saves my life more times than I would like to admit. As for the software, I need, above all, drive documents, video editing programs, image etc (I have an Adobe package) and of course Renpy and Atom.

Sam: My main friend and companion is my tablet, a wacom intuos S (pistachio color, so cute). As programs I mainly use the Paint Tool Sai, because there is nothing in this life like its stabilizer. And less frequently than I would like (for details, texture brushes, effects ...) I also use Clip Studio Paint, which I only know how to use at about 2% of its capacity ... If someday I have time I would love to stop and learn seriously what can be done with it.

Illy: During the school year I live in a residence, so I use an old laptop, and when I return home I use a desktop computer that never has memory space. I translate the chapters in the same Atom where the complete script is and I keep them in google drive files where I share them with our beta reader. I also use editing programs like photoshop when I have to translate comics or procreate for when my artistic skills are required.

Sher: ipad+procreate+some final tweak in photoshop, I don't need much more

What is your favorite part of the job?

Athe: Would it be wrong if I say that is when we released the episode? During the whole production time everything is very stressful, there are times when it’s really uphill, but when we release a new chapter it feels soooo good. It's like saying to yourself, yeah, dammit, I can do it. Look at everything you've climbed by yourself. You're doing it right.

Sam: In general, my favorite parts are when the first scenes start to be programmed, and I can see the sprites with the backgrounds, the texts, and how the illustrations look. Everything always looks so much better when viewed in-game… I also really like being able to check out the script as it is written. And from the artistic part that concerns me, when I see that my hands capture the idea that I had in my head ... Especially in character designs.

Illy: Having to find a way to translate very spanish expressions into English, research vocabulary that I have never had to use and commenting on some translations with our beta reader (which we adore) to make it understandable without losing the original meaning.

Sher: I like to do the lineart when the sketch is complete, if I no longer have to think about anything else and it's just going through it, I find it very fun and relaxing

What is the most difficult part for you?

Athe: Offf, yes, I admit it, sometimes writing is the WORST. Other times I love it, especially when I can expand on the descriptions or stop at a part that is intimate or that I find interesting (for example, Hasiel's conversation from 6.3, small spoiler: P). But, I HATE having to paste scenes, often the protagonist moves between scenes and you always have to add lines to those transitions that really do not interest anyone, but that otherwise the text would be confusing. Anyway... It is a very wide world, with a lot of history, I have to deal with what I need readers to know to understand the facts, although sometimes it gets a bit boring.

Sam: What part does not... Rather who e.e Zihel and Ariel are a thorn in my side. Especially Zihel. I know it has to do with the fact that it has never been my strength to draw boys, and much less if they are more masculine in appearance... That's why I also suffer a lot from drawing muscles. Another thing that brings me a headache is the perspective of the illustrations. Every time I try to get out of the typical shot or poses a little... It doesn't work out.

Illy: Doughy’s  stuttering ¬.¬

Sher: chairs, sofas, tables... anything with four legs is my enemy

Anything to help or encourage you while you are working?

Athe: I need music, no, seriously, I NEED IT. I’m unable to focus without it. If, on top of that, I can get what I hear to act as a sounding board for what I write, the text is a thousand times better... But the muse is a pretty bad person.

Sam: Having a show/movie in the background that entertains me. The longer the better, so I don't have to stop to think what I want to put on next.

Illy: Eating sunflower seeds to trick my brain and not be tempted to do something else that distracts me.

Sher: I try to see other artists to motivate and inspire me before I start drawing, what I find most difficult is that initial push and that is where I need the motivation, then I usually have something in the background but it is not necessary

Something that’s a pet peeve or discouraging?

Athe: Some narrative climax moments. Generally, they are not important plot moments (that is almost entirely decided), they are often small decisions to go from scene A to scene B, but I can spend a LOT of time deciding which is the fastest and best way to tie those two ends. I'm the worst.

Sam: Many times when starting, I can't get the poses to fit the way I want, for example.

Illy: Finding many parts in a row that I find especially difficult to solve and that make me believe that I have forgotten how to English properly. And looking at how many lines I still have left.

Sher: When I don't know how to fill in some area, if I see something very empty but I don't know how to solve it, I can spend days looking at the screen without being able to advance, even if I have other areas that I could do in the meantime

What is required on your table or work surface?

Athe: Notebooks, sticky notes, pens… I’m a person who writes everything down, especially the tasks, but I also order the story by color schemes. The stack of sticky notes have 9 different colors, each one represents a character and I play a lot with them for a lot of nonsense. Besides, even though I have been writing on the computer for many more years than I wrote by hand, I still have a preference for the analogical.

Sam: Coffee, sweets, chocolate, cereals... And cats.

Illy: My phone, the sunflower seeds, a Capital America: Civil War 1L water cup, sticky notes that remind me of tasks.

Sher: I have nothing really lol all my things are for decoration

Your most productive hours?

Athe: Owl. Totally nocturnal. Although I have several crises a month to force myself to work at other times that always end... Wrong.

Sam: Also at night for the most part, although I can no longer stay awake as long as I endured before having a job (the good old days...) However, in the middle of the afternoon, when the zoo that I have at home is still taking a nap, I also manage to go a long way.

Illy: From when I finish eating until 7 or 8 in the afternoon, when I don't have to cook, clean, run errands...

Sher: I take over for Illy apparently, from 7 or 8 is when I start to get into the mood until bedtime

Do working hours make you forget to eat or make you eat twice as much?

Athe: It depends, in the past I ate a lot, now if I have stress I don't eat anything. If I'm in a normal productive phase and I'm not on my nerves, I'm probably eating by inertia.

Sam: They make me eat more, but especially junk food e.e And they make me forget healthy meals, especially dinner at night.

Illy: It depends on my mood, but I usually eat twice as much.

Sher: I'm generally a VERY distracted person so I don't usually get to focus on a task to get to either of those two modes but I guess when I am sooooooo much on the task, I forget. But that happens like a couple of times a year and "forgetting" is "I delay an hour."

What part of your set up would you improve / change (in aesthetics or functionality) if you had no money limit?

Athe: I'm trying to match some of my peripherals with the rest. They are all a damn different color, apparently I'm cursed... Now seriously, I wish I had a better graphic card that would allow me to make video captures, some speakers and a quality printer.

Sam: Actually, I don't think I need anything more complex than what I already have… But if I had to improve something, I'm curious about the most professional tablets, the big ones with the included screen and all that stuff.

Illy: A new laptop that lets me open 4 chrome tabs, Atom and photoshop at the same time without dying.

Sher: A pc screen that will not change the colors I use on the iPad would be nice, really

Which character are you most like? And why?

Athe: Phew I think the easy answer would be to say Akane ... But, Akane is a better person. : P

Sam: This is very difficult... They are all very different, but still I do not think I look much like any of them. If I have to say something, I could identify with Maske's tendency to avoid problems, and his more homey and calm side. And well… Since Akane has been an OC of mine for many years, surely I have something of her too.

Illy: I think I partly have Maske's instinct to stay out of trouble, and on the other hand Joe's shallowness, although tbh I wish I really did look like any of our awesome babies.

Sher: surprised because (unpopular opinion around here) is one of those who I "least care" about really but I would say that Pin because he is a little dumb, happy and probably has a Satanic room and proud of it

Favorite CG/art.

Athe: AT THE MOMENT. Maske chapter 1. It couldn't be more predictable. I know.

Sam: I quite agree with Maske in chapter 1. But I would also put Pin in chapter 5 and Akane in chapter 6.2 on the top.

Illy: Kyeran in Coco's tank ?? Is he even real? Being basic is my brand.

Sher: surprised again and disappointed but I would say that of angel Hasiel because I like pretty dresses, pretty hairs and pretty wings

Favorite BG/scene.

Athe: The Red Light District amazes me. I already liked the life of that place, its history, but the way of expressing it... Uggg Sher took it to another level. The dirt on the street, the night, the constricted buildings...

Sam: I think I’ll say Raziel’s square, I like it a lot from the first day.

Illy: I don't know if I can choose just one T__T but I would say that the Red Light District and Valefar's pub are at the top.

Sher: for not repeating the red light district that I also like very much, I really like the areas of Coco's laboratory, including the “main” area although the perspective is horrible and makes the characters look tiny, but I like how it looks :(

Your favorite chapter to date?

Athe: Ufff... The first and second one I assure you no, hahaha. I will say that the third one, but also for things that are not necessarily from the chapter, but of the production. It was a good moment. I felt that everything was flowing with ease. We all assumed a clear role, they were times that made us feel comfortable and capable of assuming what came next, I think it was a qualitative leap also, both in texts and in art.

Sam: Oh. Well let's see... Chapter 5 is amazing for me, for everything that happens but also because there are many personalized interactions and choices. I can't say I have a definitive favorite, but it could come close… Also from the last ones I really like the 6.2.

Illy: Chapter 5 has so many details, so many things happen, it's hard not to be my favorite. But the last ones with the specific routes are so great that if I stay with the 5 it’s with the  pain of my heart to have to choose one.

Sher: I would say 5 also because in the end when a lot of things happen is when you remember the most

Twitter​ | Instagram​ | Itch

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

No hay mejor forma de conocer a alguien que a través de un buen tag de preguntas. En este caso hemos decidido hacer un Indie game dev question tag con las respuestas de las cuatro desarrolladoras. Esperamos que os aclare muchas incógnitas, pero si os quedáis con alguna no dudéis en usar nuestro ask.

¿Qué parte del desarrollo del juego llevas a cabo?

Athe: Escribo, escribo, me derrito sobre mi asiento, corrijo, lloro y después programo. Es un ciclo sin fin. Ocasionalmente me río como una demente mientras como Pringles.

Sam: Dibujo y coloreo sin salirme de las líneas (casi siempre) los sprites, las ilustraciones y los desvaríos que suelen surgir a partir de las 3 de la mañana. 

Illy: Las traducciones a inglés.

Sher: Hago fonditos

¿Qué herramientas utilizas (hardware/software)?

Athe: Recientemente mi PC de sobremesa ha fallecido, así que he tenido que rescatar mi viejo PC del trastero, también tengo un portatil que me salva la vida más veces de las que me gustaría admitir. En cuanto al software, necesito, sobre todo, documentos de drive, programas de edición de video, imagen etc (tengo un paquete de Adobe) y por supuesto Renpy y Atom.

Sam: Mi principal amiga y compañera es mi tableta, una wacom intuos S (color pistacho, muy cuqui.) Como programas uso sobretodo el Paint Tool Sai, porque no hay nada en esta vida como su estabilizador. Y con menos frecuencia de lo que querría (para detalles, pinceles de texturas, efectos…) también utilizo el Clip Studio Paint, el cual sólo se usar como a un 2% de su capacidad… Si algún día tengo tiempo me encantaría pararme a aprender seriamente todo lo que se puede hacer con él. 

Illy: Durante el curso vivo en una residencia, así que uso un portatil del año que reinó carolo, y cuando vuelvo a mi casa un ordenador de sobremesa que nunca tiene espacio en la memoria. Los capítulos los traduzco en el mismo Atom en el que está el guión completo y los guardo en drive donde los comparto con nuestra beta reader. También uso programas de edición como photoshop cuando tengo que traducir viñetas o procreate para cuando mis habilidades artísticas son requeridas.

Sher: ipad+procreate+algún retoquito final en photoshop no necesito mucho más

¿Cuál es tu parte de favorita del trabajo?

Athe: ¿Estaría mal si digo que es cuando sacamos el episodio? Durante toda la producción todo es muy estresante, hay veces, que se hace realmente cuesta arriba, pero cuando liberamos un nuevo capítulo sienta taaaan bien. Es como decirte a ti misma, sí, joder, puedo hacerlo. Mira todo lo que has escalado tú solita. Lo estás haciendo bien.

Sam: En general, mis partes favoritas son cuando se empiezan a programar las primeras escenas, y puedo ver los sprites con los fondos, los textos, y cómo se ven las ilustraciones. Todo queda siempre mucho mejor cuando se ve dentro del juego… También me gusta mucho poder cotillear el guión conforme se va escribiendo. Y de la parte artística que me toca, cuando veo que mis manos plasman la idea que tenía en mi cabeza… Sobretodo en diseños de personajes. 

Illy: Tener que buscar la forma de traducir a inglés expresiones muy nuestras, investigar vocabulario que no he tenido que usar jamás y comentar algunas traducciones con nuestra beta reader (a la que adoramos) para conseguir que se entienda sin perder el significado original.

Sher: me gusta hacer el lineart cuando el sketch está completo, si ya no tengo que pensar nada más y es solo ir repasando me parece muy divertido y relajante

¿Cuál es la parte que más te cuesta?

Athe: Ufff, sí, lo admito, escribir a veces es lo PEOR. Otras me encanta, sobre todo, cuando puedo explayarme con las descripciones o detenerme en una parte íntima o que a mí me parece interesante (por ejemplo, la conversación de Hasiel del 6.3, pequeño spoiler :P). Pero, ODIO tener que empastar escenas, a menudo el protagonista se mueve de escenarios y hay que agregar siempre líneas a esas transiciones que realmente no interesan a nadie, pero que de lo contrario el texto quedaría mal montado. En fin… Es un mundo muy amplio, con mucha historia, tengo que lidiar con lo que necesito que los lectores sepan para entender los hechos, aunque a veces se haga un pelín peñazo.

Sam: Qué parte no… Quiénes, más bien e.e Zihel y Ariel son mi espinita. Especialmente Zihel. Sé que tiene que ver con el hecho de que nunca ha sido mi punto fuerte dibujar chicos, y menos si son de aspecto más masculino… Por eso también sufro mucho dibujando músculos. Otra cosa que me trae de cabeza es la perspectiva de las ilustraciones. Cada vez que intento salirme un poco del típico plano o poses… No sale bien. 

Illy: El tartamudeo de Doughy ¬.¬ 

Sher: sillas, sofás, mesas… cualquier cosa con cuatro patas son mis enemigos

¿Algo que te ayude o anime mientras estás trabajando?

Athe: Necesito música, no, en serio, LA NECESITO. Soy incapaz de concentrarme sin ella. Si ya consigo que lo que escucho haga de caja de resonancia de lo que escribo, el texto es mil veces mejor… Pero la musa es bastante mala gente.

Sam: Tener alguna serie/peli de fondo que me entretenga. Cuanto más larga mejor, así no me toca pararme a ver qué es lo que quiero poner después. 

Illy: Comer pipas para engañar a mi cerebro y no tener la tentación de ponerme a hacer otra cosa que me distraiga.

Sher: intento ver otros artistas para motivarme e inspirarme antes de empezar a dibujar, lo que más me cuesta es ese empujón inicial y es donde necesito la motivación, luego ya suelo tener algo de fondo pero no es necesario

¿Algo que te corte el rollo o te desmotive?

Athe: Los nudos narrativos. Generalmente, no son nudos gordos de la trama (eso está decidido casi en su totalidad), a menudo son decisiones pequeñas para pasar de la escena A a la escena B, pero puedo tirarme MUCHO tiempo decidiendo cuál es la forma más rápida y mejor planteada para atar esos dos cabos. Soy lo peor.

Sam: Muchas veces a la hora de empezar, no conseguir encajar las poses como quiero, por ejemplo. 

Illy: Encontrar muchas partes seguidas que me cueste especialmente resolver y que me hacen creer que no tengo ni idea de hablar inglés. Y mirar cuantas líneas me quedan todavía.

Sher: cuando no se como rellenar alguna zona, si veo algo muy vacío pero no se como solucionarlo puedo tirarme d��as mirando la pantalla sin ser capaz de avanzar, incluso aunque tenga otras zonas que pudiera ir haciendo mientras

¿Qué no puede faltar en tu mesa o superficie de trabajo?

Athe: Libretas, post-its, bolígrafos… Soy una persona que lo anota todo, sobre todo, las tareas, pero también ordeno la historia por esquemas de colores. La pila de post-its tienen 9 colores diferentes, cada uno representa un personaje y juego mucho con ellos para miles de idioteces. A parte, a pesar de que llevo muchos más años escribiendo a ordenador de los que escribí a mano, sigo teniendo querencia a lo físico.

Sam: Café, chucherías, chocolate, cereales… Y gatos. 

Illy: El móvil, las pipas, un vaso de 1L de agua de Capital America: Civil War, post-its que me recuerdan las tareas.

Sher: no tengo nada realmente lol todas mis cosas son de adorno 

¿Tus horas más productivas?

Athe: Búho. Nocturna totalmente. A pesar de que tengo varias crisis al mes para forzarme a trabajar a otras horas que acaban siempre… Mal.

Sam: También por la noche en su mayoría, aunque ya no aguanto trasnochando tanto como antes de trabajar (qué tiempos aquellos…) Aunque a media tarde cuando el zoo que tengo en casa aún está echando la siesta también consigo dar un buen empujón. 

Illy: Desde que acabo de comer hasta las 7 o las 8 de la tarde, cuando no tengo que cocinar, limpiar, hacer recados...

Sher: le tomo el testigo a Illy aparentemente, a partir de las 7 u 8 es cuando empiezo a entrar en el mood hasta que llega la hora de dormir

¿Las horas de trabajo hacen que te olvides de comer o te hacen comer el doble?

Athe: Depende, antes comía mucho, ahora, si tengo estrés no como nada. Si me encuentro en un rango productivo normal y no estoy de los nervios, probablemente, esté comiendo por inercia.

Sam: Me hacen comer más, pero sobretodo porquerías e.e Y hacen que me olvide de las comidas sanas, sobretodo de cenar por la noche. 

Illy: Depende de mi estado de ánimo, pero normalmente comer el doble.

Sher: en general soy una persona MUY distraída así que no suelo conseguir centrarme en una tarea para llegar a ninguno de esos dos modos pero supongo que cuando estoy muuuuuuy dentro de la tarea, me olvido. Pero eso pasa como un par de veces al año y “olvido” es “lo retraso una hora”.

¿Qué parte de tu set up mejorarías/cambiarías (en estética o funcionalidad) si no tuvieses límite de dinero?

Athe: Estoy tratando de que alguno de mis periféricos peguen con el resto. Todos son de un maldito color diferente, al parecer estoy maldita… Ahora en serio, desearía tener una mejor gráfica que me permitiese hacer videocapturas, unos altavoces y una impresora de calidad.

Sam: En realidad, no creo que necesitara nada más complejo de lo que ya tengo… Pero por mejorar, me llaman la atención las tabletas más profesionales, las grandes con la pantalla incluida y eso. 

Illy: Un portátil nuevo que me deje abrir 4 pestañas de chrome, el Atom y photoshop al mismo tiempo sin quedarse tieso.

Sher: Una pantalla de pc que no me cambiara los colores que uso en el ipad seria bonito la verdad 

¿A qué personaje te pareces más? ¿Y por qué?

Athe: Ufff Creo que la respuesta fácil sería decir Akane… Pero, Akane es mejor persona. :P

Sam: Esto es muy complicado… Son todos muy distintos, pero aún así no creo que me parezca mucho a ninguno. Por decir algo, me podría identificar con la tendencia a evitar problemas de Maske, y su lado más casero y tranquilo. Y bueno… Dado que Akane es OC mío de hace muchos años, seguramente tenga algo de ella también. 

Illy: Creo que en parte tengo el instinto de alejarme de las movidas de Maske, y por otro la superficialidad de Joe, aunque tbh ojalá parecerme realmente a nuestros bebés geniales.

Sher: sorprendida porque (unpopular opinión por aquí) es de los que “menos me importan” realmente pero diría que Pin porque es tontito, feliz y probablemente tenga una habitación satánica y orgulloso de ello

Tu CG/arte favorito.

Athe: DE MOMENTO. Maske capítulo 1. No podría ser más predecible. Lo sé.

Sam: Coincido bastante en la de Maske del capítulo 1. Pero también metería en el top la de Pin del capítulo 5 y la de Akane del capítulo 6.2. 

Illy: ¿¿Kyeran en el tanque de Coco?? ¿Es siquiera real? Ser básica es mi marca.

Sher: sorprendida de nuevo y decepcionada pero diría que la de Hasiel de ángel porque me gustan los vestidos bonitos, los pelos bonitos y las alas bonitas

Tu BG/escenario favorito.

Athe: Me flipa el Barrio Rojo. Me gusta la vida de ese sitio, su historia, pero la forma de plasmarlo… Uggg Sher lo llevó a otro nivel. La suciedad de la calle, la nocturnidad, los edificios constreñidos...

Sam: Creo que me quedo con el de la plaza de Raziel, me gusta mucho desde el primer día. 

Illy: No sé si puedo elegir solo uno T__T pero diría que el Barrio Rojo y el bar de Valefar están en el top.

Sher: por no repetir el barrio rojo que también me gusta mucho, me gustan mucho las zonas del laboratorio de Coco, incluida la zona “principal” aunque la perspectiva sea horrible y haga a los pj parecer diminutos, pero me gusto como quedo :( 

¿Tu capítulo favorito hasta las fecha?

Athe: Ufff… El uno y el dos os aseguro que no, jajaja. Diré que el tres, pero también por cosas que no son necesariamente del capítulo, sino de la producción. Fue un buen momento. Sentí que todo estaba fluyendo con facilidad. Todas asumimos un rol claro, unos tiempos que nos hacían sentir cómodas y capaces de asumir lo que venía después, creo que fue un salto cualitativo también, tanto en los textos, como en el arte.

Sam: Ay. Pues a ver… El capítulo 5 es una pasada para mi, por todo lo que pasa pero también porque hay muchas interacciones personalizadas y elecciones. No puedo decir que tenga un favorito definitivo, pero podría acercarse… También me gusta mucho de los últimos el 6.2. 

Illy: El capítulo 5 tiene tantos detalles, pasan tantas cosas, que es difícil que no sea mi favorito, pero los ultimos de rutas específicas son tan geniales que si me quedo con el 5 es con un poco de dolor de tener que elegir uno.

Sher: Diría el 5 también porque al final cuando pasan muchas cosas es cuando mas se te queda grabado

Twitter​ | Instagram​ | Itch

[cardandpixel]

RocketBook Flip - a rare review and it’s not a game!

Before I go any further, I feel I must point out that I don’t have any financial connection to RocketBook whatsoever – this isn’t a piece that was requested or courted by RocketBook or affiliates and I’m not receiving any reward or sponsorship either in product or direct payment for this article. I just like the damn thing and love it when an innovative piece of tech (in this case quite low key) just works. Hi I’m Paul, and I have a bit of a problem with notebooks – A4 lined, sketch, reporters, Black & Reds (ohhhh the sheer number of B&Rs), goofy ones, serious work ones, battered ones, pristine ‘for best only’ ones – and they all fill at an alarming rate. I make notes on everything. Working as a sound engineer and designer, there’s always mix notes, soundscape plots, ideas, VO notes and scripts, SFX ideas etc etc. At home it’s a very different story – it’s much worse. Game notes; blog notes; hurriedly scribbled quiz questions spurred by watching another episode of Mental Floss’ 500 facts about cheese; RPG notes and story ideas; my own script writing; world building; sketches; other creative ideas; song/music notes and ideas; and that’s before we get to to-do lists; and the dreaded ‘things I must remember’. So my journal life is many, varied and plenty. The usual issue is… ‘what frakking journal did I put that amazing idea in????’, and that’s way before we get to the utter horror that is possibly losing a whole journal or forgetting to bring one home from work. I’m 53, I forget more than I recall, and journals help bring some semblance of order to a massively chaotic and fertile brain. What I’ve needed for a long time is some way of organising all this info or centralising it in some way. Sure I’ve looked at apps – I used Things, Evernote, Notes, and One Note for years, and they are really, really good, but they relied on either having a charged device exactly when I need it (yeah – me too) or net access, which for a new-ish theatre, is surprisingly a bit of an issue at work. And the most important part – I actually enjoy the physical act of handwriting long-hand. I still write actual physical letters to people, it’s adorable and a bit creepy in this age, but I call it charming and leave it at that. Handwriting, for me, allows me time to think and process in a way that typing just doesn’t. Handwriting is slower, I rarely cross anything out, and so I always have the whole of the thought. So what I’ve ideally wanted for years, was a reliable way of organising all my notes and storing them electronically so I have access even without the actual journal, with OCR so they’re editable, and still being a tactile handwritten experience. I’m naturally a sceptic (I actually subscribe to Fortean Times – yeah – I card carry!) and so online ads and particularly FaceAche ads are a field day for critical thinking triggers. I don’t think I’ve ever received from Wish, exactly what I ordered from Wish. And so when an ad from RocketBook constantly kept popping up on my timeline a few weeks ago, I was naturally “it’ll never work” But their website looked legit enough – they had a dedicated UK shop, it was relatively steep to buy in but not so wild that if it didn’t work I wouldn’t be crying too much about the money wasted, and at the end of the day it was a 10th the price of a ReMarkable 2 which is actually what I thought would solve my problem. I’m furloughed at the mo and though I could argue the case for £300+ notebook (test me, I could), I just couldn’t justify it now. And RocketBook had a good summer intro offer. I ordered on the Wednesday, and the impressively glitzy and graphic-design-playbook poly package was dropped on my doorstep just 2 days later by my cheery postie who yelled up the drive “Package for ya, looks very exciting!!!!” I like that our postal service is still invested in the hopes and dreams of their customers. It was exciting. All the instructions for getting started with my new Teal RocketBook A4 Flip were right there before you even open it. The main body houses the pad and a cleaning cloth, and a clever little side pocket houses the supplied Pilot Frixion pen.

RocketBooks come in several models, all configured slightly differently. I have the Flip which is a top spiral-bound softback pad with 21 double sided ‘pages’ giving 42 pages in total. The Flip has lined paper one side, and dot paper on the reverse (great for D&D maps, impromptu tables, mixer channel plots etc)

DELIVERY & FIRST IMPRESSIONS The pads are nicely made, with sturdy covers (available in some really nice colours too) and a solid, thick plastic ring binding. Initially, The RocketBook does feel a bit odd. Its ‘pages’ are actually a synthetic polyester blend and feel quite shiny to the touch. The sort of surface you just instantly feel is not going to be great for ink! Each page is edge-to-edge lined or dotted with a heavy black border. At the bottom is a prominent QR code used for scanning and some very feint icons. These 7 icons are the key to the ease of use of the RocketBook series. But more later.

THE APP

The pads work with a companion app, that is absolutely free and available for Apple & Android. In fact, RB even do downloadable printable pages so you can try the whole system absolutely free before you buy – I didn’t, I just bought one, y’know. The app allows you to set up your destination locations, your preferences and does the actual scanning. Just one quick note, I have the app on both my phone and iPad and had to set-up the app the same for both, there appears to be no way of swapping preference settings between devices, though I can see why this may be intentional.

Currently, the RocketBook allows you to choose from the following locations to send files to: GoogleDrive, box, EverNote, DropBox, slack, OneNote, iCloud, OneDrive as well as simply to an email (or multiple) addresses and iMessage. Impressively, these are not fixed either, so you could choose your 7 destinations to be 7 email addresses of team members. These 7 locations are the icons at the bottom of each page. To select a destination for your file, you just make a mark in that icon box (tick, circle, something unsavoury) and that page will be sent to whichever you select. This makes the system very flexible indeed as not every page is necessarily sent to every destination. You always decide every time you fill a page. Change your mind on a second revision? No problem, add or change icons at any time and re-upload.

There’s a really handy table on the inside front cover for you to note what icon sends what where. This is also wipeable, so can be changed anytime.

I have mine set by default to:

Rocket > main email address (either as PDF, JPG, OCR embedded or as separate txt file)

Diamond > GoogleDrive (you can specify exactly what folder too)

Apple > iMessage

Bell > OneNote

That actually still leaves me 3 spare: shamrock; star; and horseshoe.

The app took me maybe 20mins to set-up, that included decision time for destinations and setting up a few target folders. It also included a few ‘test firings’. I didn’t get everything right first time and a few things didn’t send, but crucially, a tiny bit of digging revealed very simple troubleshooting (including the aforementioned issue with no sync’ing of phone and iPad), and all in I was finding the files in all the right destinations within about 30 mins. The website, FAQs and community are immensely helpful with any other issues as well. I had a tiny issue with OneNote seeming to take ages to sync, but I think that’s an issue with my OneNote settings, everything else was almost instantaneous. You can also handily set the app to auto-send as soon as it scans, or allow for manual review.

CLEAN UP ON AISLE ROCKETPAD The main reason I wanted to look at the RocketBook was the issue of reusability. My journal shenanigans are by no means the biggest ecological disaster on the planet, but if we are to believe Tesco (who probably issue as many receipts at our local Tesco Express in a day as journals I’ve ever used), every little helps. If I could find an ecologically better solution, I should at least take a look. The RocketPads work by partnering with Pilot pens called Frixion. The really clever bit is RB’s paper technology and how it works with the Frixion ink. At present, the pads only work with the Frixion pens – except the RB Colour which works with Crayola’s dry-erase crayons. When you write on the ‘paper’ with a Frixion pen, it remains wet for a few seconds and then dries pretty quickly. There’s no smudging whatsoever in transit, which is pretty cool. From then on, it may as well be permanent, until you have transmitted your page and decide you don’t want the text anymore.  To wipe the page clean, you can dampen the supplied cloth and just wipe the surface clean, it’s weird but it works! But then damp cloth in your bag? So I use kitchen roll to dampen, then wipe dry with theirs. Others even have an adorably kitsch spray bottle in their kit. RB reckon if you are not going to use the pad for a few months, to clean the pages as the ink can get trickier to shift after a long time, but for day-to-day use, I’ve tried writing and wiping well over 20x and the page hasn’t become discoloured or tarnished at all. The only pad different in the range is the Wave which cleans by microwaving! Do NOT do this with any of the others, bad things will happen. The ink doesn’t take scrubbing or any time to come up, I clean my pages in about 10-15s. The page can feel a little tacky when it’s damp, but leave a minute or so and the page will be back to normal. RB do say that odd things can happen if the book is left near a heatsource or in a hot car, vis-à-vis, the ink can completely disappear horrifyingly enough. They say that putting the pen or the pad in the freezer for a little while will actually restore the ink, but I’ve not tried it yet so can’t confirm or deny how that goes. Handy for spies in hot countries though, so there’s another target market. If you are always going to send your pages to the same places, then don’t erase the marked icons, and the page is ready for new notes straight away, otherwise, scrub them too.

I CAN’T READ YOUR WRITING – ARE YOU A DOCTOR? Initially, the RB pads send their files as scans of the pages in high contrast monochrome (colour is available) when you snap the page in the app (which auto-frames for you and takes maybe 10s to capture). The formats are either as images or PDF. If that had been it, I would have been quite happy, but the RB pads have another trick up their sleeve. Firstly, they have a function called ‘Smart Titles’ which allows you to name your files directly from the page by writing a filename between double hashtags ie ## this is my scrawl 24/8/20 ## and the file will pop up in your destinations with the filename “this is my scrawl 24/08/20” – this is insanely handy – there’s no protocol except your own and the hashtags, and it makes your files super easy to search. You can even send groups of pages as a single PDF. But the notebooks go even further. They actually offer full searchable OCR which the app can be set to send embedded in the PDF or image, or more usefully, as a companion separate .txt file. Now, my handwriting isn’t the neatest, but it’s not bad so I was prepared for some editing to be necessary, but impressively again, the OCR was about 90-95% accurate. In a page of text it missed maybe 3 or 4 words and even those not badly. This is all considering their full OCR is still only in beta! It gets confused with diagrams on the page, but that’s to be expected.

Text Generated by OCR: ## Blog post och test Aug 2020 ## This is a little demonstration of the OCR capabilities of the Rocket Book pads and app. I've told the lovely people that the hit rate is about 90-95% so please dant let me down here flip pad. Hopefully the file name will also prove another point further up in the section and not make me look like some charlatan or snake-oil salesman.Hope you enjoyed this demonstrahen, now go away and leave me to write the next great novella.Bye!

HOW MUCH? On average, I pay anywhere from £4-8 for a decent A4 notebook/journal, so at £30-37 (dependent on model), the RocketBook pads are not a whim purchase. That said, I get through a lot of journals in a year, and given that I would expect to easily get 2-3 years out of a RocketBook pad, then I’ve saved money. Will it replace all my notebooks? No. You need to be thinking of carrying this round as a kit: pad, Frixion pen (at least 2), and cloth.  RB do a series of portfolio sleeves for the pads but it does push the price up a bit still, but for a rep, engineer or salesperson, this still makes sense. They’re less bulky than a normal A4 pad too. What I would say is Tesco and Sainsbury’s currently stock Frixion pens and at much better prices than buying them from RB directly, I just paid £3 for 3 pens on offer at Tesco compared to £10 from RB. You get one pen with the pad, but you’re going to want more soon, so stock up next time you’re shopping for truffle oil crisps. If you use whiteboards a lot, RB also have you covered. Instead of the pad, £16 will get you a 4 pack of ‘beacons’ – little self-adhesive triangles that effectively do the same thing as the QR code in the pad. You don’t have the icon options obviously, but if you’re looking to distribute quick meeting or group notes, this would be a boon. CONCLUSION Considering this was a fairly speculative purchase on my part, my early experiences with the RocketBook Flip have been really impressive. The flexibility, the ability to store every page in a different location if you really wanted to make it fantastic for organising my notes, which can save me hours of finding the right ^^$&^$&$ notebook in the first place, then scouring that for the one paragraph I was looking for etc etc. The searchable text facility, in-app history for re-sending etc and last but no way least, functional handwriting OCR, makes the RocketBook not only novel, but actually useable! Would I buy another? As a second notebook – yes. I look forward to seeing what the actual longevity of the product is once I come off furlough and start cramming my day bag with all my junk and a notepad again, but yes, I’d probably just have one at home, and one for work, but make the last 5 mins of each day, scanning and sending work notes so I have them with me wherever. Impressively, the RocketBook Flip just works and it works well. ‘Er Across The Table has already sold several folk at her work on the idea and she doesn’t even have one herself yet! I love it. It’s taking a little adjusting to, but it’s all good. The most important thing though is the writing experience, and I have to say, the combination of the Frixion pen/ink and the polymer technology of the Flip, again, just works. It’s smooth, doesn’t skip or smudge for me (I know some right to left users and left handers have reported some issues) and feels great to write on. If anything I have to slow down a bit as the contact is so smooth that your writing can get a bit ahead of you! RocketBook have produced a cracker of a product. It might not seem like much, but if practical working journals are your thing (ie not create and keep things) then I can highly recommend the RocketBook series.

[knowledgestudies]

10 Productive Uses For Blank Notebooks

I was cleaning out my room earlier this week, and I discovered that I have some empty notebooks. So I made a list of things I could fill these notebooks with. I thought I’d share that list because I know many people have empty notebooks just lying around and might want some ideas for what to do with them. 

1. Research and Thoughts

Whether you already like reading scientific research, or you are interested in a topic and want to learn more about it, having a research journal is a great idea! You can take notes on the articles you have read and jot down your reactions to those studies. You could also think of possible applications for both your personal and professional life that are not mentioned in the article itself. Additionally, you could record and research other topics that might be of interest to you after reading an article. Who knows, you might even be inspired to conduct your own research!

2. Journal and Life Lessons

Keeping a journal is extremely beneficial because it is great for mental health! Writing in a journal is a very cathartic experience, so it is no surprise that it can help regulate your emotions. And reflecting on your day will help you organize your feelings, which in turn will elevate your mood by allowing you to appreciate the little things that make life great. Journaling can also help stimulate your creativity, as you may come up with ideas to improve your life just a little bit each day. Additionally, journaling improves your writing, as you learn to communicate important information more effectively. 

This journal could also double as an ongoing list of life lessons that you learn from various sources: books, movies, shows, documentaries, mentors, interviews, conversations with others, etc. All of our experiences, no matter how small, teach us something, and it is important to reflect on those as well, as they can offer so many insights that will help us better conduct ourselves in all aspects of life.

3. Blog Log

I know this one is super relevant for all of us, and this log can be an incredibly useful tool. This is a great place to store all your content ideas and outlines for easy access. You could even draft an entire blog post here, so that you can easily make any edits if necessary. If you’re using sources in your posts, this would be a good place to cite those so that you can easily reference them whenever you need to. Or, if you have been tagged and/or want to tag someone, you could record those here too so that you don’t forget to give credit to the amazing bloggers who wanted to hear from you. And don’t forget to celebrate your milestones! This could mean number of followers, or most popular posts, number of original posts written (in a period of time or in general), blog birthdays/anniversaries, really anything you want to celebrate. 

4. Creative DIY Projects

Personal projects are always really exciting to work on. Not only can they serve as a nice escape from our regular lives, but they are also very engaging hobbies that incentivize us to work harder in our personal and professional lives. DIY projects also allow us to become more independent, self-reliant, and creative thinkers, which is a rewarding experience in and of itself. 

However, just because these projects encourage independence, doesn’t mean they can’t be socially beneficial as well. They can serve as talking points for when you’re networking or talking with loved ones at get-togethers where you can discuss your current project(s) and your plans for future ones. Additionally, other people may have advice for how to improve your process and get more out of each project. 

Projects are great for other practical reasons too! They are a productive use of our spare time and also allow us to develop our soft skills (time management, planning, organization, creativity/creative problem solving, adaptability, just to name a few). These transferable skills will also surely make job hunting and mapping your career development just a little bit easier. 

If you don’t want to work on DIY projects, that’s perfectly fine too! The point of this journal is to express yourself creatively and independently, no matter what form your art takes. For example, if you want to have an art journal where you sketch creative designs, go for it! Or if you’d rather compose poems or novels, there is literally nothing stopping you! Just don’t limit yourself, no matter what you choose. 

5. Career and Professional Development

Many of us either already have jobs, or are actively working towards securing one. This notebook could be used to keep track of every aspect of our professional development. For example, exploring career interests can be used to develop concrete plans for how to achieve professional success. You could use this journal to help keep track of the jobs you applied for, or keep track of the jobs you have already done. You could write about how long you held those positions for and what you learned during your time in that position or company. 

Note all that you have accomplished, such as your ideas and contributions to projects, or how you solved problems. Not only does this give you an opportunity to reflect on your professional life, but it can be really useful when you edit your resume and other professional documents, as well as your LinkedIn account.

Just remember that you can have fun with it too, and remember the more entertaining parts of the job and team, by recalling memorable events. Jobs can be boring and tedious sometimes, so remembering the fun things can incentivize you to start the job searching process.

6. Life Audit Lists

Sometimes there is a gap between our current and ideal life, and that is perfectly natural. There are several steps you can take to bridge that gap. Conducting a life audit is an incredibly useful tool to help you live your best and most fulfilling life. Analyzing the results of the life audit will encourage you to take responsibility and actively work on self-improvement. Below are just some ideas to help get you started: 

Goals - These could be daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, however you want to organize it. I personally would narrow it to three main goals so that it you aren’t overwhelmed, but you do whatever works for you. You can divide these goals into various categories, for example: academic, professional, social/personal, etc. And if it helps, divide those categories too, so that you can get a more comprehensive view of your life and develop a more specific plan for how to improve it. 

Seasonal Bucket Lists - Bucket lists are a really fun way to push yourself out of your comfort zone so that you can be more adaptable and can experience so much more than you would have otherwise experienced. Maybe there is something you’ve always wanted to do but never did. Write that down and make a plan to actually do it! You never know, you might discover things you actually enjoy doing and these experiences will help you get more out of life. Plus, it’s just really motivating to have things to look forward to! 

Self-Care Ideas - Prioritizing your mental health is absolutely necessary to get your life in order. So, make this a routine. Find things that you enjoy doing, whether it’s drinking tea or coffee, or meditating, or journaling, or something else entirely, and make it a point to do at least one thing a day that positively contributes to your mental health. And don’t be afraid to add more things to this list than any other one, because I truly cannot stress how important it is to not neglect your mental health. 

7. Habit/Skill Trackers 

Often times, the hardest part about making (or breaking!) a habit is just getting started.  That’s why I like to record my streaks for each habit that I would like to develop and maintain. One way you could track this in your journal is by writing the habit on one side and recording the number of days you’ve consistently done that habit on the other. You could also organize it like a chart, with the days of the week labeled on one side and the habits you want to develop on the other and you could cross off each day that you completed each habit. 

You could use this same approach for tracking your skills, as learning a skill is a habit itself. For example, if you want to learn computer languages or other technical skills to make yourself more professionally marketable, try to set aside an hour a day and integrate this into your daily routine. And don’t neglect developing soft skills, those are just as important. And don’t forget to monitor your progress in each skill, because having a visual representation of your progress can serve as a great motivator to continue developing skills!

8. Language Learning Progress

Language learning is both a wonderful and marketable skill. I know many of us are in the langblr community, and use resources such as Duolingo and Youtube among others. This is an excellent place to take notes on vocabulary and memory triggers for those terms, plural forms and tenses/conjugations for those terms, grammar rules and exceptions to those rules, example sentences such as the ones that Duolingo provides, and even your own original writing so that you can practice using your knowledge practically. 

However, as important as language learning is, it is also important to learn about the respective culture. Fully immerse yourself in understanding the culture to get a more clear picture of your global understanding. Languages and cultures shape each other to a certain extent, so it is important to give as much weight to learning the culture when you are learning a foreign language. 

9. Podcast/TED Talk Notes

Whether you like to listen to podcasts on your commute, or actively listen to them on Spotify or any other Podcasts app, taking notes from podcasts is always a good idea. I’ve personally been listening to TED Talks for approximately five years now, and I find these speeches, however short, to be extremely interesting and informative. Of course, you don’t need to just limit yourself to TED Talks, as all podcasts have value to different audiences. Noting your reactions to the information presented is also a good idea. Analyzing things will always lead to a deeper understanding and appreciation of the material, as well as developing your critical thinking skills.

10. Event Plans

There is so much to look forward to in life, such as vacations, graduation(s), birthdays, weddings and anniversaries, etc. This notebook allows you to store all your plans in one place! You could divide it into sections if you want to organize it and find your plans more easily. For example, for vacations, you could record where you would like to go, the prices of the plane tickets, where you’ll stay, what to pack for the trip, the itinerary and points of interest, the cuisine, the activities you’ll do there, really anything you can think of. For graduation, you could think of graduation cap decor ideas if that’s your thing, party themes, food, picture ideas, location, etc. For birthdays, same thing. Wedding and anniversary planning are on a whole other level of difficulty, so organization is key here, and this notebook would really help with organizing all the details.

I recognize that there is a lot of overlap with these ideas, so if you don’t want to dedicate an entire notebook for any individual idea, you can use these as series for your bullet journal. Or you could combine these ideas into a single journal. Also, if journaling is not your thing, you could create binders for these ideas, or any other ideas you come up with. 

I hope these ideas are helpful! :) 

What did you think of the list? Feel free to share your own ideas in the comments!

[homiegeesus]

The Year of Magical Thinking, Ch. 3

Summary: Francis Sinclair believed Arthur Morgan had not finished living. In a second chance at life, Arthur discovers what it means to love himself.

At the edge of a precipice and nowhere to run, Arthur concedes defeat. In an extraordinary turn of events, he is sent through the ether to another time where his path crosses with a group not too unlike his own family. After discovering the fate of those he loved before, he races to find a way back. But what if he realizes that there is something worth staying for in this new world? Can two people separated by nearly a hundred and twenty years of living find their happily ever after?

AO3 Link (edit: link fixed)

Author’s Note: So sorry for saying that I would post yesterday when I did not. We had some terrible weather 'round here, and it took me forever to get home last night. Long chapter is long, though. I know y'all are probably like "where is your OFC"? Well, she'll be introduced in the next chapter, I promise. I should have it posted in a couple of days. Shoutout to TheTiniestTortoise ( @shallow-gravy​ ) who has valiantly offered to beta this story (this chapter was not). Fair warning: I'm seriously going to take you up on this, so be prepared lmao. In the meantime, y'all need to go read "Blackbird's Song". It's a fantastic ArthurxOC take on the RDR2 plot, seriously drop everything and read it! Also, I created a "We Heart It" collection thing where I pin images that inspire me while writing. Just a warning, though: It might spoil some elements of the story. If you don't want any idea of where I'm taking the plot, do not click here.

Thank you to @tiesthatbind1899​​ (author of Memories of the West - another must read), for the idea. You're awesome. 

Almost forgot, in this story, Blackwater is Dallas. I read in the wiki that Blackwater was likely modeled after early 20th century Dallas, so I'm running with it. Plus, it's where I live, and even though most authors can't agree on whether you should "write what you know", this is fanfiction, so hell yes I will write what I know...at least in the first few chapters lol. Hope y'all enjoy this chapter, and as always, constructive criticism welcomed and appreciated!

The Year of Magical Thinking

Chapter 3 - American Remains

Not knowing if the doctor wanted Arthur to follow, he stood for a moment and stared at the carving on the cave wall. After Steven exited the chamber, the cave was again silent allowing Arthur to observe and reflect. His fingers traced the broad lines of the design as he pondered just how the whole situation had come to pass. What an interesting sequence of events. One moment, Arthur was dying and the next he was not. Having been a hair’s breath away from death had changed him fundamentally. Suddenly being thrust into wellness had been jarring, to say the least. Itching to sketch the new carving, he reached to his side for his journal. Hand feeling empty air where his satchel would usually be, he closed his eyes and covered his face.

In a last act of brotherly affection, Arthur had given John his most important possessions: his father’s hat and his satchel along with everything in it. Suddenly, a deep homesickness fell on him like anvil. The realization that he would never see his family again caused a well of emotions to rise up and threaten to consume him whole. He didn’t belong in this place. If Arthur was a part of a dying breed back then, then how would one hundred and twenty years of so-called progress treat him? With no place to call home and not a penny to his name, how would he survive?

Feeling suddenly claustrophobic in this cool, damp place, Arthur turned and followed the path of Steven’s exit. As the natural light of the sun reached him, he felt a wave of humid heat hit his face, instantly causing tiny rivulets of sweat to breakout across his forehead. Finally exiting the cave, he stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. Even in the heat, Arthur delighted in clean, easy breathing. Tortured by diseased lungs in the past months, he had forgotten what it meant to be well.

Looking at his surroundings, he spotted Steven near a table off to the left of the clearing. Arthur began walking towards him, that is, until he spotted the younger man talking to himself. Rooted in place, he observed Steven holding what appeared to be a small black book while gesturing wildly with his arms.

Damn it, you old fool, Arthur inwardly chastised. He had driven the man to madness with his scarcely believable tale. He walked closer to make out the words coming from the young doctor. That’s when he heard the other voice bleeding from the air that surrounded them.

“Steven, my love, my future husband, my everything – if you do not make it to this dinner, I will leave you. And then, I’ll cancel you. You will be canceled!” The voice yelled, sounding as if it came from a phonograph. Arthur furrowed his brow and looked for the source.

“Nick,” Steven responded in voice that even Arthur could tell was full of condescension, “first of all, you know I love you, but you also know I hate these dinners. Secondly, I just told you that something came up at work.” He then cradled the little black book in both hands, thumbs moving wildly over the cover. “It’s incredibly important that –”

Nick interrupted, “It’s incredibly important that you be at this dinner. Steven, we’ve had this planned for two weeks. All of the partners are going to have their significant others with them. They’re expecting you there. They all fucking love you; always like ‘Steven is so charming’ or ‘God Nick, how did you bag a guy like Steven? He’s so funny and you are so – not.’”

Steven laughed, “They don’t say that.” He finally glanced up in Arthur’s direction, smile falling from his face.

“Ugh, yes they do. It’s annoying as shit. I mean, I can be funny,” the voice replied. Steven began looking from the book to Arthur and back again in quick succession.

“Babe, I gotta call you back –”

“Steven –”

“Nick,” Steven interrupted sternly, “I’ll call you right back, I promise.” Call? Arthur thought to himself. That little black book’s a telephone? Nah…

Nick sighed loud enough for both men to hear. “Just please show up tonight. It’s all I ask.”

Steven nodded as if he could be seen. Arthur thought maybe he could. They each said ‘I love you’ and Steven glanced up at him.

“Holy shit,” was all he said. 

“What?” Arthur frowned.

Steven just shook his head and held out the little book, or whatever it was. From where Arthur was standing, he could barely discern what looked like a photograph. Steven glanced quickly between the object in his hand and Arthur’s face. He seemed to realize the older man’s cluelessness.

He dropped his arm halfway and grinned, “Oh sorry, you’re probably like ‘what the hell is this?” He gestured to the device and laughed. “Jesus, well, this is a phone. A telephone.” A flipped it in his hands, and then held it out to Arthur. “Go ahead. Check it out.”

Arthur stepped closer and cautiously took the gadget. Looking at it, what he saw would take him back some five years ago to a hunting trip he, John and Hosea had embarked upon in Tall Trees, a year before John had left to God knows where. The trip had been a fruitful one, as the trio had taken down a bear with size to rival the one they had caught in the Grizzlies. It was a good memory, set before his relationship with John had descended into spite and jealousy. He stared at the photograph, the sepia tone making it seem so unreal when his memories burst with color. Arthur, John and Hosea looking as serious as three feared outlaws could, each held rifles behind a large grizzly bear.

Arthur looked up to Steven, “Where’d ya get this?”

The corners of his mouth quirked as if he went to smile but then thought better of it. “That’s a, uh, long story. But I mean –,” Steven then smiled, “it’s you.” He laughed a little manically, “That’s you in that photo.”

Arthur, not realizing the significance of this moment, just replied with a shrug of his large shoulders, “Yeah.”

Steven briefly ran a finger over his lips as he continued to smile, “Dear God. How the hell did this happen?”

“Ain’t gotta clue,” the outlaw replied simply.

Steven just shrugged. “Well, in any case, we have to figure out what we’re gonna do with you. I mean,” he laughed, “you could come home with me, but my, uh – Nick would probably freak the hell out.” A considering look passed over his face. “Hey, you said you were sick before?”

Arthur nodded, “Yeah, but I ain’t coughin’ no more.”

“Tuberculosis?” Steven supplied. The other man’s eyes narrowed fractionally.

“How’d you know?” The doctor just gave a toothy grin.

“Mr. Morgan, you’re quite famous. Like Jesse James.” At Arthur’s perplexed face, he continued, “Didn’t you, like, have your own gang, or something? You know, like Jesse James did?”

Arthur laughed, “What? No.” He shook his head, “I was in one, but I weren’t the leader. That was Dutch.” Steven’s face lit in recognition.

“Oh yeah,” he then looked off to the side. “I haven’t seen any westerns since I was a kid, so I’m only vaguely familiar with the history.” He looked back to Arthur with a smile, “My friend Ada would know. She loves them.”

“Uh-huh. Western? Like a dime novel?” The outlaw asked, head tilted in question.

Steven shook his head. “No, movies. They’re like, uh –,” obviously wondering how to explain, “you know, moving pictures.”

“Oh yeah, I know ‘bout them. Used to go to the theater on special occasions an’ such,” Arthur recalled.

“Well, they’re a little different now,” the doctor laughed. “They’re in color and have sound, so –”

Arthur tracked his thumb across his stubbled chin. “Ain’t that somethin’,” he replied a bit in awe.

Steven smiled, “Yeah well, you’ve been portrayed a couple times, I think.”

Amazed, Arthur responded, “Yer kiddin’.” The younger man just shook his head.

“Nope. The only ones I know of came out a long time ago, like the ‘40s or ‘50s. Maybe earlier.” The outlaw lightly laughed.

He looked slyly to Steven. “Were they, uh – were they handsome?” The corner of Arthur’s mouth ticked slightly up.

Steven barked out a quick laugh. “Oh yeah. They were.” He shot the other man another toothy smile. “Though, I’m beginning to think that they didn’t do you justice!”

Unfamiliar with such bald-faced compliments, Arthur bowed his head in an attempt to hide the shy smile forming on his face. Damn it all, he didn’t have his hat. He just swatted his hand and said, “Nah.”

Steven was apparently having none of that. “Trust me, Arthur. Even covered in dirt, you’re a tall drink of water on a hot day.” He let out a loud guffaw at the sight of the blush that crept up on Arthur’s face. “I’m just messin’ with ya.”

Arthur just shrugged and tried to conjure up what little was left of his mean outlaw persona. “Yeah, well –”

“Alright,” laughing again, Steven stepped past Arthur, clapping him on his shoulder. “I’m gonna go turn off the generator and stuff, and then we’ll figure out what to do.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What in the hell was he going to do? Nick would kill him. No doubt about it. His future husband would whip out that Latin Fire and scorch him where he stood. Steven could see the inevitable conversation play out in his head. ‘Honey, I’ve brought home an outlaw from the 19th century. He’s going to be staying with us for a while. Oh, and he has a gun, and he could shoot us in our sleep and rob our corpses.’

“Jesus,” Steven said quietly to himself as he gathered the equipment around the worksite. His morbid train of thought was then interrupted by the shrill sound of his cellphone ringing. Grabbing the device from his back pocket, he looked at the screen.

Nick, the ID screamed at him. Steven stared at it a moment before answering.

“I swear I was just about to call you,” he started. He could hear the eye roll coming through the phone.

“Uh-huh. Why did you tell Jeremy to go home earlier?”

Shit. “Well, I uh –,” completely unsure with what to say and totally unfamiliar with lying to his partner, he explained the best he could. First though, “How did you know I sent Jeremy home?”

“You sounded weird when I spoke to you last, so I texted him. Stop trying to change the subject.”

Figures. He needed to teach the kid about worksite discretion. But right now, he had to get through this conversation. “Something did come up. Nick, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Nick responded in a concerned voice, “Steven, what is it? What happened?”

“Well – you see – I, uh, I’ve met someone else, and I’ve decided that we’re going to be together.” Steven paused a second, then added, “I’m leaving you.”

“Good lord, Steven. Be serious. I’m sitting here thinking you’re about to tell me you have cancer or something.”

“Oh, no. I’m healthy as a horse. I am leaving you, though.”

“Mi amor. Please. What’s going on?” Nick was sounding legitimately concerned now.

Steven sighed, “Look, I’ll tell you everything. This evening.” He added, “Just trust me. We’ll talk about it tonight after dinner, I promise.”

Giving a light chuckle, Nick reassured, “Okay, okay. I trust you. I wouldn’t be marrying you if I didn’t.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Steven turned and looked at Arthur across the clearing. The outlaw was sitting at the picnic table, arms folded. Suddenly remembering a part of their conversation from earlier, he looked again to his phone. Selecting a contact, he dialed Lauren Linklater’s number. She answered on the third ring.

“Linklater.”

“Hey, it’s Steven. You gotta minute?”

He could hear a distinct crunching noise. “I’m at lunch. What’s up?” Always succinct and to the point. Steven appreciated that right now.

“Well, I have a question about something. Completely hypothetical,” he started.

“Okay.” She waited for him to elucidate.

“Okay, so again, completely hypothetical –”

“Steven.”

“Yeah?” He asked.

“I’ve got like ten minutes to eat before I have to go put my hands in some dude’s chest cavity –”

“Right. Yeah, sorry, so – say someone traveled through time from, I dunno, 1899 to our time. Would you be concerned about them getting deathly sick from something really simple, like a common cold? Would they be more susceptible?” Then he remembered, “Oh, and what if they had tuberculosis before they – you know, time-traveled?”

Steven figured she might be chewing her lunch, when it took a moment for her to answer.

“Is this a part of your weird cave art or something?” She asked.

“Rock carvings,” he corrected. “Well, kinda. I mean, yes. It is.” He explained, “I’m asking you because it’s a little bit outside my purview.”

“Okay, well, it’s a little bit outside of mine, too. This would be a great question for, I dunno, an epidemiologist or – heh, Doc Brown. I’m a general surgeon.”

Steve sighed, “Right. I just needed a quick opinion, so –”

“I just don’t want to give you incorrect information, especially for your job, ya know? If this is off the record, or whatever, I can try to resurrect some of the ole braincells from med school.”

He laughed, “Yes, if you could do that, I’d appreciate it.”

“Okay, so I probably wouldn’t be too concerned about this hypothetical person getting a modern day cold. Our immune systems are pretty badass, and it’s been that way for a long time. I’d be more concerned about a modern-day person going back, like, five hundred years, I guess. Still, I would maybe want to do a blood test and a cheek swab to make sure they’re not bringing small pox or something with ‘em. You say this hypothetical dude had TB?”

“Yeah, but afterwards, he didn’t have any signs of still being sick. And before, he was near death, like minutes or hours away.”

“Okay, well, they’d probably need to get checked out anyways. TB is highly treatable with antibiotics these days, so not much to worry about. If this dude wasn’t showing any signs of illness, chances are he didn’t bring it with him.” She then began to laugh.

“What?” Steven asked.

“Nothing, just – we’re talking about it like it exists. I dunno, just thought that was funny.”

“Yeah,” he breathed a laugh. He heard her begin chewing again.

“Steven.”

“What?”

He could hear the smile in her voice, “Did you find a diseased time-traveler?”

“Very funny,” Steven muttered sarcastically. “I’ll let you get back to your lunch, and your – chest cavity.”

Lauren laughed, “Okay, let me know how your project goes.”

“Will do.”

Hanging up, Steven sighed. Thinking about where in the hell he could stash a time-traveling cowboy, he walked back over to Arthur. The outlaw was hunched over the picnic table, staring intently at his hands. He looked up when Steven’s boots entered his field of vision.

“Well, we gotta head out pretty soon before traffic gets too bad.” He glanced in the direction of his car beyond the wall of pine trees.

Arthur frowned, “Traffic?”

Steven nodded, “Yup. You know, lots of vehicles, people.”

“Yeah, I know what traffic is. Jus’ wonderin’ if we’ll be goin’ through a city?” He clarified.

Motioning for Arthur to follow him, Steven elaborated, “Yeah, but not for a while. It’s pretty crazy, but it’s not just the cities that hold most people now. There are a shit ton of people in the boonies, too.” Judging by his expression, Arthur didn’t seem to like that little tidbit. Steven pointed to a couple of small crates, “Mind helping me carry these?”

Arthur moved to pick up one of the containers, “Naw, ‘course not.” Both men began walking along a path surrounded by trees leading out to the parking lot. Steven let out a loud laugh at Arthur’s face when they reached his silver Ford truck.

They sat down the crates as Arthur took a moment to absorb the vehicle in front of him.

Steven, thinking of the Bon Jovi song, tried his best to explain. “It’s like, uh, a steel horse. Ya know – “

Arthur just looked to him with a sardonic face, “I know whatta automobile is.”

Steven nodded, “Oh, right.”

“They’re just, ah – a li’l different than I remember ‘em.” Walking around the perimeter of Steven’s car, Arthur seemed to observe every little detail. Almost like an artist would a subject, he thought vaguely.

“Yeah, well.” Steven kicked a rock at his foot. “Wait ‘till you get inside.”

“Huh,” the cowboy huffed. Coming to stand beside Steven, he looked to the younger man. Placing his hands on his hips, Arthur pondered, “Just how would one go ‘bout doin’ that?”

Steven huffed out a laugh, “We’ll get to that, but first, we need to, uh – talk about your, uh, gun.”

“You ain’t takin’ my gun, Doc.”

“Steven, and it’s just –”, Steven took a step forward. Arthur’s hand went to his pistol grip, as if preparing to draw, and Steven shot his hands up in surrender. “Woah, I’m – I’m not going to take your gun, well – not for what you think. Can you just please take your hand off the gun? Please, don’t shoot me.”

Arthur acquiesced by removing his hand and briefly raising it palm forward in the air.

“Look, I’m not trying to take your gun, at least not for why you’re thinking. It’s just – times have changed. You can’t just walk around strapped like Jesse James.” Arthur quirked a dark brow. “I mean, this is Texas, but still. Cops can have itchy trigger fingers ‘round here.”

“Ain’t that all the more reason I should keep my gun?” Arthur’s deep voice drawled.

“No! Absolutely not!” Steven laughed incredulously. “I mean, that may seem logical to you, I guess, but trust me when I say you do not want to go shooting cops. ‘Law and order’ is – well, it’s just not the same as it used to be.”

Arthur looked pensive for a moment as he stared at Steven, as if to determine if the younger man was being truthful. Finally, his hands went to the buckle of his gun belt to loosen it. “You ain’t gonna make me regret this, are ya?”

Steven exhaled a nervous laugh, “What? No, no. I mean, you have more of a chance of being, I dunno, sucked up by a tornado than you have of being shot at between here and where we’re going.”

“Uh-huh, and jus’ where are we goin’?”

“Well, that’s TBD.” At Arthur’s confused expression, Steven quickly amended, “To be determined.”

“A’right,” the cowboy waved a hand in the air. “Let’s get a move on then.”

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After placing the crates inside of the bed and Arthur’s gun belt under the backseat, the men climbed into the monstrosity of an automobile. Steven had shown Arthur how to open the door and put on a seatbelt, but it seemed easy enough. Sitting in the interior of this modern-day work horse, he luxuriated in the leather seat. He ran his fingers along the armrest, the treated leather feeling like smooth silk against his calloused hands. Looking up, his antiquated mind tried to conjure up why a person would need all these knobs and dials. What was their purpose? Steven settled into the seat beside him.

“You ready?”

“I gotta choice?”

Steven quirked a brow, “Not really.”

“Well then. There’s yer answer.”

And with that, the young doctor turned on the beast beneath them. Arthur did not expect the burst of noise that felt as if it hit him physically. Steven reached for the dials in front of them and quickly apologized.

“Oh god, sorry! I forgot I had the radio on, I’m so sorry,” he said quickly.

“Good god, man. How do you still have yer hearin’?” Arthur questioned, absolutely astonished.

“Yeah, that was loud. It keeps me going on a long drive.” He laughed, “I’m so sorry.”

Arthur just shook his head, “What in the hell was that?”

“Uh, music. Metallica, I think.”

The outlaw stared at Steven like he’d grown two heads, “Music? What the hell kinda music is that?” He shook his head. “Sounded like a thousand cats dyin’.”

Steven shrugged, “I think they’d like that comparison.”

The doctor tinkered with some levers and such around the wheel, and suddenly they were moving. Exiting the area, they pulled out onto the road. Despite the anxiety Arthur felt at the fast movement, he decided it wasn’t too terrible. That is until the speed caused his world to tilt.

Steven was chatting away about where they were going and what they would do when they got there, when Arthur began to feel utterly nauseated. Mesmerized by the white lines in the middle of the road as they moved past so quickly that they turned into one blur, his vision doubled, eyes nearly rolling back in his head. If Steven noticed, he didn’t say anything, so preoccupied as he was.

“I mean, we have a pullout couch. But our place is tiny. We’d be like sardines in a can. You had those in your time –”

“Doc.”

“– right? Of course, you did. Well, we’d be like sardines. It’d be uncomfortable. I’d ask –”

“Doc.”

 “– Lauren, but she’s a doctor. She’s always working. It’s not like –”

“Pull over.”

“– I can leave you alone. Holy shit, I know who –”

Arthur finally raised his voice, “Steven!

Confused, Steven replied, “What?”

Looking at the other man, Arthur gritted lowly, “Stop this damn contraption ‘fore I vomit all o’er this nice leather.” Finally understanding, Steven pulled to the side of the road. As Arthur went to hop down from the vehicle, something jerked him back into place. Before the outlaw could grab his knife, Steven calmly reached over and unbuckled the belt. Murmuring a quick ‘thanks’, Arthur hauled himself out of the truck and into the field. A loud horn from another passing vehicle would have scared him out of his boots, if he hadn’t been so overcome with nausea.

Steven yelled a sarcastic, “Ok, thank you!” before saying to himself, “Asshole.”

Wiping his mouth, Arthur turned and walked back to the truck. Once they were both inside, Steven looked at him.

“You okay?” He asked, concerned. Arthur just nodded. Steven continued, “I didn’t even think about you getting motion sickness. Sorry ‘bout that.”

“S’alright,” Arthur said quietly.

The doctor handed him a bright pink pill of some sort and what looked like a clear canteen.

“It’ll help with the dizziness. Plus, it might even help you get some rest. We got a couple hours drive before we reach the city.” Arthur took it without question, washing it back with the warm water as Steven pulled the truck back onto the road.

He questioned, “City?”

“Yeah. Blackwater.”

Unable to help it, Arthur felt his blood run cold. Knowing that his bounty was long gone was not enough to keep his anxiety from spiking. Arthur did not say anything. This man knew his name, did he know his sins? Would he still be so generous and willing to take him in, knowing the blackness of the outlaw’s heart?

Steven briefly glanced his way. “I have an idea about where you can stay. I have to call her, but I know she’ll be okay with it.” He looked back at Arthur. “I think you’ll like her.”

Arthur just nodded, feeling the effect of the medicine begin to take hold. Eyelids turning heavy, he shifted until his head lulled forward. Exhaustion catching up with him, he surrendered to Morpheus in a dreamless sleep.

[amethystblack]

What’s your creative process like, to make Reborn’s maps so Detailed?

so i do have some steps i follow when mapping, but i think they’re much less about creative process and the factor of detail just comes from practice.but let’s go over those first

first i sketch the area out on paper. i can’t think of how to map any big place without doing this tbh. but this ‘sketch’ is usually nothing more than a series of boxes for each room or space that i draw as i get a feel for what path the player will take through the area, also using stars or other symbols to mark places that a reward (like an item or pokemon) will be, where stories are, ledges, connecting doors, and so on. it is very loose. 

here’s one example i did digitally to post on my patreon a long time ago but this is frankly a lot more detailed than i usually make it. this was for teknite range.

i usually don’t write notes beyond one or two words for myself, and i cleaned this up for visibility a lot. i can’t overstate how rough my usual sketches are compared to this, but those are in a light pencil so i can’t really show them as easily. anyway, that’s all the planning i do.

second, i make the map, a blank size approximating the size of the boxes i drew, and section of the parts of the map that need to be around the border so the player can’t draw black space. that also gives me boundaries for where the player can move. adjust size as necessary. i’ll also sketch some rough placement indicators in editor with a junk tile i’ll know to replace later.

third, i start with the cliffs, or whatever the barrier is that prevents the player from moving off the sides of the map. it’s usually cliffs. it’s always cliffs. and cliffs suck. i want them over with. elevation is tedious and limiting in this mapping style so it’s good to get that established quickly too.

other large things like buildings are blocked out with junk tiles and refined as i go, then the floor is added, then any objects from the tileset, probably largest to smallest typically. i’ll also go through and replace placeholder tiles with new ones i make, and so on. i’ll also note any awkward isolated areas like a corner the player can walk into a little too far so i can put a hidden item or something there.finally, dropping smaller details in like different floor textures, flowers, rocks, etc comes last– that’s just decorating the map at that point.

buti cannot stress enoughyou just gotta practice >:Ci’ve been mapping things in rpg maker since i was 11, and i still sometimes learn new things. as someone new to mapping, or looking to improve, i can safely tell you that what’s most important in making maps is that you feel comfortable enough to play around, try things out, and be frivolous. i often don’t know how i’ll approach certain parts, but i have confidence that i can mess around with it or try different stuff until i figure it out. you need to establish that confidence, and you need to establish that comfort, and that will only come through practice.

the same is true of most creative hobbies, i think. definitely for spriting and art.

other things to look out for as a beginning mapper: 

natural areas can’t have boxy shapes. sure, you’re working with square tiles, but you can vary those shapes a lot. curve your edges!! of everything natural! straight lines are your enemy. boxes are your enemy.

learn to edit your tilesets. it’s invaluable. even if you’re just combining halves of tiles at first, the more comfortable you get at spriting tiles, the better maps you can make. graphics gale is a free spriting program that i love.

learn to abuse and be abused by cliffs. reborn overuses cliffs and it’s incredibly tedious and awful, but it makes very full, tall looking mountains and landscapes. many people shy away from using too many cliff corners-no!! everything is a corner now. get those diagonals fam. many new mappers only use a few levels of elevation- no!!! fill in that empty space on the sides of your map as much as possible. there’s nothing there for anyone. negative space is negative for a reason– you have to suffer to make it clear.

don’t make a region that has a lot of cliffs. reborn is surrounded by mountains. it’s cool, but it was a fucking awful decision. every map is made of suffering. why don’t you try surrounding your region with ocean instead? ocean is nice. only takes one tile to draw all of. why not visit the ocean?  there are no mountains in the ocean. don’t you like the ocean? the ocean please?? 

anyway it’s a bit quick and dirty, but hopefully that gives you a good enough idea to get started. thanks for coming to my ted talk byealso thanks for eating the formatting tumblr

[tygerbug]

Do you have any advice for aspiring filmmakers without an actual cast and crew and (as of right now) no ability to get a formal education? Tips on what to practice or challenges so when I actually start involving people, I'll have a decent grasp on what I'm doing?

This is a big topic to discuss. I’m gonna write a long one here and reminisce a bit about movies I made a long time ago. Hope you’re into that sort of thing.

Shoot some footage on your own, record some sound and learn how to edit! I was on a Mac so I used the now very outdated Final Cut Pro 7 for many years. Adobe Premiere Pro is more standard. I used that when I started out, and I use it more now, along with After Effects. I originally trained on an ancient version of Avid as well.

Try to get a single friend to help you! That will help. But you can also do animation, or film yourself, or film scenery, or voiceover. There’s plenty you can do on your own.

I started in the 90s, when camera technology was terrible. The cameras now are amazing! The economy is not. I started to have trouble making movies because I need to pay bills! It’s a cliche but people’s phones are better than anything we had then.

Currently I have a Panasonic Lumix G7 DSLR which shoots 4K, and cost maybe $450. I used to know every feature of my camcorders and be in complete control, but I honestly don’t understand this one as well as I should. It’s nice though.

Before that, in 2007, I had a Panasonic MiniDV camcorder which must have cost $4500 or so. I was still using it for some things until recently, when it started eating my tapes.

I have a Sennheiser cardioid XLR mic (from 2007), and a Tascam audio recorder hooked up to it (from 2019). Maybe $150 altogether. I’ve somehow had the same microphone stand since 1993, maybe longer.

I also have a Parrot teleprompter mirror, for when I need to record web videos and read text off a screen.

We bought a heavy expensive tripod in 2007 and I found it difficult to use. I probably broke the damn thing. It wasn’t working well. I was used to much lighter, cheaper tripods, and kept using my old one. Then I ended up buying two tripods cheaply. I think both were Goodwill finds!

I still have an enormous greenscreen setup we bought in 2007, very wrinkly now and rarely used.

With the old MiniDV cameras (or before that Hi8, 8mm and VHS) you needed a lot of light to get any kind of decent picture. I’d buy a $20 shop light from Home Depot and point it at the wall. It was very hard light, but bouncing it off something would diffuse it and light up the room. It was also very yellow and we’d put a blue theatrical gel over it to change that. It was also very hot and would make the room tough to film in! We also had little clamp lights with regular light bulbs in them as needed. You can get that stuff at Home Depot or similar for cheap.

Cameras today are a lot better, and even if the footage is grainy you can noise reduce in post with plugins like Neatvideo. You’ll want to be more subtle with your lighting than I had to be back then. But a lot of times you’ll still want a powerful light that will light up the room in a clean-looking way. Even then I’d often work with cinematographers for a more subtle feel. They would put diffusion material over the lights, or black foil to concentrate a more powerful light into a single beam. It’s worth experimenting.

I guess I’ll get very personal with this and talk about my whole history, because I’m like that.

I started out making movies as a kid in the 90s. I started out doing little animations on my own, which grew into a 90-minute sketch comedy feature (I was 15-17). I attempted to involve my friends from high school, but it was hard to get them to commit and show up, so a lot of that film was just me doing animation and puppets to fill the gaps. Once I premiered it, everyone got very excited at what I had accomplished without much help and wanted to be involved. I worked with them to figure out what they were interested in filming, and they contributed to the scripts and concepts and production.

We shot four more comedy features in the first half of that year, before I left for college (USC Film School in Los Angeles, 1999), often with a big cast and in all kinds of locations. I was also writing a satirical musical play at the time, and was starting to try to be a screenwriter (I eventually wrote about twelve unproduced screenplays). The main feature we shot that summer was a 2-hr parody of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace which would have been my first “real” screenplay, and which was based partly on the ideas of others in my friend group. There was some improv to the comedy. We also shot a 5-hour improv piece which was a comedy-drama (and then cut down to feature length) and which aged better.

I came back the next summer and shot two more similar features (which were in the same style as the Phantom Menace spoof and the improv piece respectively). I also ended up collaborating with other filmmakers on some stuff, which I ended up regretting due to the people involved. And I made student films, and a big, overlong drama feature while I was in college called Gods of Los Angeles (which took about three years). Later in 2007-9 (ages 25-28 or so) I directed Shamelessly She-Hulk, a superhero feature which is on Youtube. I also did more animation, and some quick, low effort webseries and web video stuff on my own, and I continue to do so. I’m currently working on some Unannounced Projects.

I often think that moving to Los Angeles and attending USC Film School was a mistake. It’s an easy town to get lost in and just sort of fade away and disappear, even before the economy crashed and things got a lot more expensive over the past 20 years. At any rate, my film education at USC was similar to my film education outside of it- The teachers would just tell us to pick up a camera and go, and do our best with it. It wasn’t very formal. What film school did provide was an audience- Your fellow students would all give notes tearing your student films apart, and I had to get a lot better very fast to keep up and deliver quality filmmaking.

So my advice is that you don’t really need a formal education in film to make movies, at least if you’re starting out and doing your own stuff. What you really need is to be young and have a certain amount of financial support on your side. Once I got older and had to work and pay my own rent during an economic recession, it was a lot harder to make films. If you’re still living with your parents, great! Or if you’re in an okay financial situation, great! Use whatever resources you’ve got.

Mainly you need free time, and people to help you. There’s a lot you can do on your own. As I said, my early experiments as a kid filmmaker were pretty much done on my own, and I sometimes had to create scenes on my own for every movie that followed. I might do a quick pickup shot, or re-record some voiceover. Making movies on your own isn’t an ideal way to work, of course, but a lot of people on Youtube are doing it!

I learned a lot about filmmaking by simply doing it. I’d made something like twelve features by the time I was out of college. Nothing I would still want to watch today, but I learned a ton by doing them. I expected I’d become a Hollywood filmmaker, but making that happen takes money and resources and connections I didn’t have (and still don’t). People don’t want to admit it, but it takes money to get noticed at all in Los Angeles. And when you’re older and need to pay bills, time is also money, so it’s very hard to find the time to work on projects unless you have some money in your bank account. If you have money and time in Los Angeles, you can go to more events, meet more people, pay to enter your scripts into contests and things, and there’s not much of a chance you’ll get noticed by doing that either. But money and time allow you to make more art and try again.

At any rate, if you’re just starting out and learning, there’s plenty you can do on your own, but ideally you want to have a partner who is just as interested as you are, at least during the shooting. I have often spent years editing feature film footage on my own. WhoSprites, Shamelessly She-Hulk, The Thief and the Cobbler Recobbled Cut and Gods of Los Angeles all took years to edit. But the actual shooting of She-Hulk and Gods of Los Angeles and all my earlier features was usually done very quickly.

If you’re young and working with friends and collaborators to create a feature, like I did many times in my teens and twenties, there’s a certain momentum which is key, and very easy to lose. You can get a group of young people together to film a feature for a week or a month, and they’ll work very hard. All the features I ever shot were like that, where I had one or two main collaborators who were there every day for a week or a month or a few months, and we just worked and worked and worked, while other people came in and out.

The movie I did in college, Gods of Los Angeles, I flew my friend Dave in to star in it. That was summer 2002 and we had maybe a month to shoot with him, as well as do a road trip to South Dakota for an amateur film festival where we shot some other stuff as well. We worked on the movie every day. Other actors would come and go but I only had Dave as an actor for that period. Sometimes we were sleeping on the floor at a friend’s place before filming there - we were all over town. Dave lost weight in the desert on the road trip. But we had that momentum to get as much of the film done as we could. It was this ridiculous long script, like four hours worth of story. We ran out of time and I ended up cutting a whole act out and shooting a rewritten ending the morning Dave had to get on the plane back to Connecticut.

We had that momentum to work and get the feature done. We were young and in college, and it was summer. We had no bills to pay. We had free time. We shot most of the feature during that month. We worked around every other actor’s schedule but Dave and I were there every day.

After that, and when the school year began again, production was a lot slower. Trying to get any actor to show up for a shoot was tough. We went months inbetween shoots and it took a long time to finish the last few scenes.

I did notice I’d gotten a lot better as a filmmaker during that shoot. We had filmed Dave’s stuff during this crazed rush, and all the later stuff I was able to shoot in a much more controlled way. No-budget filmmaking, in my experience, is always a disaster. Everything goes wrong and you prove your worth as a filmmaker by rolling with it and still getting the scene done even if you don’t have that actor or that location or whatnot.

You learn a lot by just doing it, as a filmmaker, and it helps to be young and without bills to pay. If you have one good collaborator who is willing to really join you on this journey for awhile, for a week or a month or parts of a few months, you have a movie. All of my movies were like that.

Los Angeles never agreed with me, physically or in any way. I moved to Los Angeles 20 years ago, and left ten years later. I spent that whole first ten years wanting to leave. I knew immediately when I stepped off the plane that I’d made a big mistake. I did leave, for five and a half years, and then ended up back here. I had big dreams, but everyone in this business has big dreams. I expected Hollywood, but it felt more like tripping and falling into a white-walled room which locks behind you and sinks down into the ocean, and nothing else happened for twenty years.

So I’d often leave Los Angeles for awhile to make a movie with friends elsewhere. I went back to Connecticut one summer, and I went to the Midwest twice (a mistake), and roadtripped to South Dakota. I had just unsuccessfully tried to move back to Connecticut one Christmas in 2006, and ended up in some shitty apartment with two people who were trying to kill each other. Pretty typical for my Los Angeles experiences. It’s just a dangerous town when you don’t have money. You always feel like a criminal, and I can no longer count the situations I lived through where my life was threatened. That was almost a constant.

I needed to get out of there, and someone I’d met while doing stand-up comedy called me. He had a rich mother, and he was bored and wanted to learn how to make a horror film. For the hell of it I’d written this script about Marvel’s She-Hulk character. I’d written it in a week. My scripts usually took a year but this was an easy write. He read it, and he decided we should film that script.

I did warn him that it was a fanfilm, so we could never really make money from it, or release it on video, or show it at festivals, especially back then. I don’t think he fully understood that until we were four months into production and had shot most of the film, at which point he shut things down.

But for four months we worked together every day. Our She-Hulk actress came in pretty much every day for a few weeks to film on greenscreen. A lot of times we were shooting one actor at a time because of scheduling, and we pretty much shot the whole thing in that apartment in Santa Monica. I’d put sticky paper up to turn the walls green or black. We just kept at it, getting through a huge amount of material every day. It’s not great to shoot a big superhero feature one actor at a time. That was tricky to edit together later. But working with one actor, or two actors, at a time, is very controllable. You’re not wasting anyone’s time. You don’t have scenes where one of the actors doesn’t have much to do. They’re always working. Sometimes we had a bunch of people onset at once, and sometimes that was more chaotic. It did mean we had more people to work the lights and sound and effects. It can be tricky to get Los Angeles actors to commit to this sort of thing. You’re never sure who you can really rely on and who is going to flake out on you. We ended up shooting with fewer actors and less crew, and doing our best with it.

And when you’re not paying people, sometimes actors will quit on you. We lost one of our two lead actresses on She-Hulk, and by the time I’d recast her months later we didn’t even have money anymore, or most of the original actors. I was shooting on my own for no money. We had auditioned 400 people for the film. It was a huge, long process where I called in anyone in Los Angeles who would work for no money. But some of my first choices didn’t want to actually do the film in the end. I got my first choice for She-Hulk, and got the best people for the parts. But I recall that original actress saying she’d rather be waitressing and making money.

It was always easier to find great actresses who weren’t working. Finding guys who were any good was always tougher. On my college movie Gods of Los Angeles in 2002, I kept losing the male actors I originally cast in every single part, after a day of filming. They weren’t willing to spend that much time on such a ramshackle, no-budget feature where I was learning as I went. The women were all cast from the start, and stayed put.

I shouldn't admit this, but on both Gods of Los Angeles and Shamelessly She-Hulk I eventually had to cut scenes and edit around some male actors, who hadn't quite completed their entire parts, but had come close.The people who stayed, stayed because they believed in the project. We didn't have much money, but I was always a good dialogue writer, and was writing very meaty parts that actors enjoyed playing, even under the circumstances. And the circumstances were messy. (Screenplay structure was more of a weak point, though I got better at that too in my unproduced work.)

She-Hulk was a big role - she had tons of dialogue to get through - and we often shot her alone. We just kept working, and we had that momentum, and we wrapped her part in a couple weeks. Finishing the rest of the film later was a slower process.

But it’s about working within people’s schedules. That gets harder the older you get, because people have bills to pay and things to do.

On She-Hulk, one older actor usually had a beard for other roles. I wanted him to shave it for the part. One day he told me he’d shaved his beard and would want me to shoot his whole part in the next three days or so. We were already booked up for those days with lots of shooting with other actors. But we brought him in at night, and shot most of his part alone. Or in the morning, when he was already starting to grow the beard back.

I once shot a comedy feature in a week, where we all became horribly sick and injured in a dozen different ways. The director was depressed and not in the mood, and in retrospect was bullying me the whole time I knew him. It was horrible, but we still shot the feature in a week.

The Phantom Menace parody was filmed over a month or two, as was the one we did the next year. In both cases I was working every day with Dave, and other people would come in and out depending on their availability. So we had that momentum.

We also found time to shoot a comedy/drama improv feature. I had two collaborators on that first one, and we rehearsed for a couple of weeks while shooting the other movie, then shot the whole damn thing in one night. We tried to do it again the next year but everyone was too tired. We hadn’t really had a break, and Dave had barely slept all month.

Looking at the footage from those (summer 2000) movies later was a turning point for me. I was a dumb kid of about nineteen making dumb movies on low quality video cameras, but I was also a perfectionist. And I lost my temper a lot on that shoot, while trying to get my friends to take the shoot seriously and get the footage I needed.

As a director, if you lose your temper you’ve lost control of your film. You’ve lost the respect of those around you. It’s not going to get them to take you seriously. A director needs to be the nicest guy onset. You’ve got to make people comfortable, and feel like their contributions are valued. They should feel safe, and comfortable enough to give their best work to you. You need to earn their respect. If you have the right collaborators, they will do brilliant work for you, if you let them be themselves.

I was tough, as a director. I would shoot a lot of takes, until I knew I’d gotten the footage I needed in the edit. With enough preparation, four takes should be enough, but it’s not unusual for me to see 16 takes in the edit for more complex scenes. We wouldn’t do a ton of rehearsing. We’d shoot and fix problems on the fly.

I wouldn’t lose my temper. I’d just ask them to do it again, until we had a version where nothing went wrong technically, or with the performance. If an actor isn’t playing the scene right, it’s usually a bad idea to tell them how to read the line. It’s unprofessional but it’s also not how actors work. Fixing the exterior performance is phony. They need to feel and understand the scene inwardly. If they’re not playing the scene right, you haven’t explained it right, and you need to talk to them for a bit about what their character is feeling.

Or maybe it’s just a dumb scene and the actor isn’t feeling it. While looking back at the She-Hulk movie, there are a few lines which make me cringe, which I wish I’d rewritten. Easy jokes, which border on offensive or vulgar and don’t suit the character or the film.

I was looking at the raw footage from one of those scenes recently. I knew the line was bad at the time, and clearly I feel awkward directing the actress to say it. I ask if she can say it with a little more feeling, since she was playing it off very flatly, as if embarrassed of the line. She said “No, because it’s a stupid line!” The footage cuts off there. She wasn’t wrong. We should have rewritten the line, and she gave the best performance she could under the circumstances, because she needed to communicate that her character was embarrassed of the line too.

When I was making movies in college, I was still embarrassed that I’d lost my temper during the shoot in summer 2000. I was trying to be nicer as a director while still pushing hard enough to get the shot. I overcorrected. I have wavy hair which gets unmanageable unless it’s cut very short. I would let my hair grow longer than that, and I’d really look like a mess. A scruffy kid with glasses and mad scientist hair, wearing a red windbreaker jacket and scuffed-up jeans. I looked like a slob! I thought it helped the actors relax and not have to take things as seriously. I grew up in Connecticut as this gifted overachiever, always pushing very hard and being very intense about things. In California I was learning to slow down, and calm down, and go with the flow. I think it helped me, but I went with the flow so much that nothing ever happened in my career for twenty years!

But some of that was just that I wasn’t presenting a serious image to the world. I was presenting the image of a guy who really hated himself. I thought of myself as a clown. I felt bad that I was making my actors work so hard and do so many takes, and I thought I had to be the guy onset who was making things seem much more relaxed and casual, but also pushing them very hard to do brilliant performances and shoot a lot of takes. I should have loved myself more, enough to clean myself up and look professional onset. My appearance was at odds with the high-level filmmaking I wanted to do, because my self-esteem and self-image wasn’t there.

As a creative in Los Angeles, at least to an extent, you are who you pretend to be. The industry is full of pretenders. The industry is biased toward people with money and connections, but people with money and connections are also just more presentable. I had very high standards for the filmmaking I was doing, but I looked and acted like a weird kid! It’s amazing that anyone took me seriously enough to work with me. To an extent I had trouble making friends and felt very isolated, especially among people who really wanted to work in the industry. My friends tended to be people who didn’t fit in either, and who wanted to leave Los Angeles at the first opportunity. I took myself very seriously as an artist, but a lot of people at USC took me at face value instead, and seemed to hate me instantly! Young people can be very cruel. Well, all people can be very cruel.

I used to do stand-up and improv as an idiot character called Radio Man. When I’d perform him live on campus, people would treat me like I actually was this ridiculous character. I was thrown offstage by security several times! Maybe I should have pretended to be cool!

I feel like that was partly my problem with networking and trying to make friends in the industry and get work that way. This is an oversimplification, but I felt like the mindset in Los Angeles was very different. Not better or worse than New York and Connecticut, but upside-down. New Yorkers can be gruff until they get to know you, and they’re more open with how they’re really feeling. People in Los Angeles tend to wear a mask at first. They want to smile and seem pleasant and impress people in a non threatening way, and it’s a front. You find out what they’re really like later, if they like you. You see their dark side. I’m generalizing of course, but I was never a very social person, and this was all backward from what I was used to. People were being very guarded and false when I was trying to be open and truthful, and vice versa even! I was zigging, they were zagging. I felt like people hated me immediately wherever I went! Or at least couldn’t figure me out and weren’t impressed. I wasn’t great at putting up a front and impressing people. And in Los Angeles it’s hard to impress people anyway. You’re talking to creators, who are all boasting about what they’re doing as a multi hyphenate. At that point I’d made a bunch of features as a writer/director/editor, but I was still a dumb kid with few resources and no connections.

Youtube has changed everything, but it’s also not a filmmaker’s medium. Most of the people who are getting successful on Youtube are doing video essays as themselves, straight to the camera. People aren’t really getting known for making short films and features like we used to do. I still remaster material from the 2007 She-Hulk production for Youtube, and it feels very out of place with everything else that Youtube is.

That can be a positive, I suppose. It’s not a big deal for a filmmaker to record themselves doing video essays and reactions, and Contrapoints for example has stepped up that game with her colored lighting and aesthetics, bring a feature-film quality to Youtube.

I’d like to think there’s room for lots of different kinds of content on Youtube, and as a small creator it’s unfortunately very hard to get seen, so you might as well create what you like, and what really matters to you. The algorithm seems to push certain kinds of content (including some gross political content which is definitely helping cause the end of the world). The algorithm is also impossible to predict.

I had barely touched my main Youtube channel in eight years until recently. That was a mistake. I was sort of grandfathered in as an older channel, and once I put up new content in 2018, sometimes the algorithm would smile on me and give me millions of views. But it’s impossible to predict. One or two popular videos and the rest go thud.

I considered that a channel for the She-Hulk movie and my Doctor Who animations, and other filmmakery stuff. But I’d stopped editing that film, and was doing some very dumb web videos on my own instead for awhile, which I uploaded on another channel. I started other channels for my film restoration work. I hadn’t considered Youtube as a career. It was simply an outlet for the various things I was doing.

If I was starting a new channel now, I wouldn’t be getting the views I get on the old channel. It’s probably best to do everything in one place, do it well and make it easy to find.

As for the other stuff, the filmmaker stuff - actually learning how to make a film - just do it. You’ll learn as you go.

In my high school movies, these early comedies, I barely knew where to put the camera at all. At first I was shooting long wide shots, then some closeups. All very basic stuff. I was leaning heavily on the dialogue. Without dialogue I didn’t have a movie. There were only a few sequences I storyboarded or even shot a lot of angles for. Usually it was when we were parodying an existing movie, and recreating their shots. That was always fun- recreating a famous big-budget Hollywood movie on a budget of zero, and making it work somehow.

I learned a little more each time for sure, but in film school we had to do these little short films with no dialogue. I was leaning on the same style I’d had in my high school comedies. My first couple of shorts had the same goofy feel. One of them used pop culture references instead of having characters and story. And without dialogue that didn’t work. It was about some friends of mine as an action-hero fighting team (and not a very impressive one). It was pretty dumb.

This was for a class (in 2001) which originally shot on 8mm film, so it had to be silent. We were shooting on MiniDV instead, so we could have shot dialogue, but that’s not what the class was about.

I couldn’t use any of the tricks I’d had in my comedies. I had to tell a story without dialogue- something that people could take seriously. I didn’t even know how to get a performance out of someone without dialogue, which became immediately apparent. I couldn’t use any of my strengths, and that was great because I had to learn quickly.

My third short was vastly better. It really told a story without words. I shot a few more like that later, including four on 16mm film.

These were all supposed to be 5 minutes. I think short three was 16 minutes.

My fourth and fifth student-film shorts actually had heavy dialogue, but I was still learning very fast and challenging myself to do something different.

I scripted the fourth short without dialogue. It was about a dying cartoonist, and was intended as a very personal, serious drama. Writing it without dialogue forced me to come up with visual ideas to keep it interesting. I then rewrote it with dialogue but kept most of those ideas. I’d already been writing serious screenplays for awhile but this was my first serious film- a big step for a goofy kid like me! It was 18 minutes long.

As I recall, I got in trouble for using dialogue so heavily, and my grade was taken down a few notches. That happened a lot at USC, always on the films I was most proud of!

My fifth was an animated adaptation of the Terry Pratchett novel, MORT. It was crazy over-ambitious for a five-minute short at the end of the semester. I’d written a 45-minute script, and I had to shoot it in a weekend and edit it in about as long. I got my friends together and we recorded the voices in one long night. I played Death and I certainly sounded like Death by that point. For the animation I made some clay figures with drawn cutout faces, in real-world locations. It was nothing fancy, but I really did shoot it in a weekend, and made it work in the edit as best I could. I was new to Avid and digital editing generally. I released a 25-minute animated film, having cut out anything I didn’t absolutely need to tell the story.

I was proud. I’m sure I got in trouble for it! I wasn’t alone either- Someone else in the class had shot a dialogue-heavy adaptation of The Catcher In the Rye.

In another class, when shooting on 16mm film, the films really did have to be 5 minutes long, and not a second longer. We only got one or two takes because film stock was limited, and you really had to tell the story visually.

Due to shenanigans I was forced to take the class twice, and did better work the second time. With a partner I shot a fantasy film The Journey of Truesong (with thrift-store costumes), and a time-travel musical with CGI and splitscreen effects, all done in-camera. We also got in trouble for both, because both involved dialogue and were against the rules. We’d made the most exciting films in the class, and got punished for it. That sort of thing happened a lot.

I remember on The Journey of Truesong, our actress was vegan, and I didn’t know. I’d brought ham sandwiches for lunch. She was too polite to say anything and starved the whole shoot. When we opened up the fruit (and I think trail mix) her eyes went wide and she chowed down. Ask your actors about food restrictions and make sure you have a way to feed them! We were in Griffith Park, miles from anywhere!

A few years later I filmed a scene for She-Hulk, again in Griffith Park, with four actors. They were supposed to barbecue hamburgers in the scene itself, so I bought a grill and figured that would be our meal for the day as well. I wanted to wrap an actor playing a bad guy so he could go home, so we shot his scenes first. The sun was going down by the time we grilled the hamburgers. The scene was grainy since we were losing the light, and getting the grill running was taking time. The actors had to get a little silly and improv around it, and I reshot some of it later in a different location (obviously so). By that point the hamburgers and other food had been sitting out in the sun for hours and were absolutely inedible. Everyone was starving!

Today you could maybe use a food delivery app. Maybe not, because we were still in the park in a very remote location. It was a disaster of planning on my part, and I think an actor quit after that. When you have no budget, going out on location means going out on a limb and hoping it works. In this case I wasn’t able to feed my cast. The actresses rolled with it and forgave me. An actor didn’t.

Food is very important, and easy to overlook! If you’re shooting in your own home, or a very controllable location, you can keep food in the fridge. On location in the park, in the heat, the food had a very limited shelf life, and so did the actors.

If we weren’t out in the middle of nowhere, we might all drive to a fast food restaurant to eat. That can take up hours in the middle of a shoot if you’re not careful. Having enough food onset certainly helps.

I had very high standards for the sort of actors I’d cast. In high school I was just casting friends, but I grew out of that. Even so, I think that someone who will really stick with you and is willing to put in the work with you is just as important as raw talent. If someone can’t act, maybe they can run the camera, or hold the microphone, or just generally help out onset and with the production. They can drive around, get the food, set things up that need to be set up. They can be an extra, or a costumed character. There’s so much that needs to be done, and no-budget shoots immediately become a trashfire of problems because it’s hard to get it all done in time. Things will always go wrong, and you prove yourself by how you deal with all of that.

I know that got very personal, and very long.

But I hope that helps!

[yourmajestysworld-blog]

After 5 App Design

After Five Cleaning – Introduction

After Five cleaning is a cleaning company whom do cleaning services for inside houses. They offer various types of different services and are available via their website. They needed an app designed that would allow them to add and edit the questionnaire that they would send their users to fill out when they want to request their services. This project differed in a sense from the websites and game UI that I normally designed. This was something considerably smaller, but because of that this also mean there was far less room for error. Simply put, I needed to throw a jab, but only a jab. This mean I can practice this to the maximum

After Five Cleaning – Mobile first design (Identifying the needs)

The first thing that was to be noted, that it was a questionnaire. This sounds pretty simple, but because of the application (to book appointments), and the fact that the app was actually very in depth, this needed to be laid out visually, in a way that made booking as smooth as possible. The one problem that I can easily encounter, is that with all of the questions that are required, is that it can get overwhelming. Imagine sitting for an hour, just answering monotonous questions, it may be necessary, but it isn’t exactly a good experience. Normally in UX design, you would want to identify the common pain points that someone using an app or a site would experience, but this sadly couldn’t be the case here, as there wasn’t any real previous reference to go off of. This presented a unique challenge for me, and meant that instead of simply “improving” off of what had already been done, I needed to effectively “shoot in the dark” (as at this stage I am still quite inexperienced)

After Five Cleaning – Wireframe layout

So, the first thing I did was pull out my pen and paper and got to drawing. I wanted to design something that can take advantage of the one key advantage mobiles have. Hand gestures, make things that would require scrolling on a computer or doing certain actions (such as closing or changing page) incredibly swift and easy. This is one of the main draws. My first worry, was making the app be a chore to scroll down, as you added more and more questions.  The Sketch was just a good idea of what to do before the colour scheme was to be decided

After Five Cleaning – Colour Scheme

This was the likely the easiest part of the entire project. Because the company colours was green/white for their website, they wanted this to be used with the app to keep it consistent. This was perfectly fine by me, my work load was reduced. For me the only real choices that needed to be made was where the colour was to be placed. Green, especially dark racing green, can be a very overwhelming colour when used too often, whereas white, can be very “boring” when done

After Five Cleaning – Mobile Version V1

The sketch for the mobile version was quite a ways different from what the final product ended up becoming. If you’ve seen my portfolio at coroflot. You can immediately see that the sketch you’re looking at looks a lot more “phone” like, for lack of a better word. What I mean by this is that I have designed the interface to be able to take advantage phone specific features (in this case, swiping). This was where I learned about user testing. Once I designed the application (I could quickly mock it up with colours, as these had effectively been decided for me) I immediately received the following question;

“what would I do if I wanted to edit a question I already submitted”

And right there the design fell apart. Effectively, I had no real answer for this. So, immediately it was back to the drawing board.

After Five Cleaning – Mobile Version V2

So, it was effectively. Back to the drawing board. For the next one, I looked towards different inspirations for the layout of the mobile version of the app. This time instead of trying to design what I “think” would work, I instead wanted to go and see what similar apps there was on the market place that was currently being used.

Survey Monkey

The app layout of this was pretty solid, it was easy to use familiar, and it actually reminded me quite a bit of google forms. The only problem was. One of the key requirements was that each question was to have “sub questions”, as due to the layout of the question, there also needed to be sub questions related to it, to them determine what sort of equipment would be used (e.g. if you have a room with windows, how many windows?). So this presented a different problem. This effectively meant that I needed a way to “group” a question for ease of use for the employees. The reason for this was that the cost, hours and equipment they would visit the house with, was determined by what answers were given.

Google Forms

This is partly what the first version was based on, as this is software that I use often, So I decided to take another look at the layout and analyse it once again to see where I went wrong. As you can see, the similarities between that two, is that there is a “panel”. This is where the idea to have employee’s “swipe” left and right came from (this is a desktop screenshot). The problem that I encountered here (again) was simple How does one keep track of all of the questions they have added? And how do you make this straight forward to view and modify?

Tree List Layout

This was something I actually found upon by accident. The tree list layout is when you have a parent and child relationship layout. The parent is the main object on the screen, and the child are the things that are related to it. This sort of structure is used often in the programming space, as someone who has done computer science in the past, I am very used to using it conceptually whilst doing object oriented programming

As a result. I decided to try out this layout for an interface. Instead of making question a “question”, it becomes an “Object”, the sub questions merely become the “child” of the “parent”, this isn’t UX related per say,  but this is programming related. This effectively describes how the programmer would need to implement this method, which is important because I was actually working side by side with a programmer as I was implementing the interface (he was the one that asked the question) This line of thinking,  resulted in the following sketch

Low Fidelity Sketch

High Fidelity Sketch

This is the result of the sketch. The idea was to have one main menu which allowed you to add “parents” (questions) which automatically gave you answers (the child). This structure would then be delved upon via the sub-questions. Which lets you do the same thing (add a sub question). The one problem that could still be present with a view like this is overwhelming amounts of information, or having to constantly scroll through layers upon layers of information (especially when the questionnaire gets large) To somewhat resolve this, I put in a collapse all or expand all button, something which is fairly common when working with folders in applications.

Things to improve upon

One of the key things that I actually missed out, was a search button. As it stands, even with everything “collapsed” there would still be a fairly large amount of questions to look through. This can easily be cut through if the user can manually search the question itself that they are looking for. The thing to remember is that the main user base will have upward of thirty to forty questions at a time, each with their own sub questions. I also intend to make the each “object” numbered. Where you can see the “type your question here” section,  should have a “1.” annotation, to let the user know. I consider this a mere quality of life change, but an important one nonetheless

But even with that particular problem, the UX of the app, is something that is

[muggycuphead]

weird flex but ok i guess pt.2

1

War… Hold up, do we really need a warning for this one? Dunno, but however, watch out for slightly disturbing and kinda…disgusting imagery, trypophobic patterns, as well as ‘necrotic’ designs I made while having funky fever bc o h  m y  g o d do I get a little crazier  every new quarantine day (and at this point it’s coming to be an usual thing for me, big sad). However, most are made no other than for the sole sake of satire, so y’know, no need to get your underwear in a twist

Friday Night Funkin’ BoyFriend’s Hood – AU fanconcept sketches [II]

EDIT 09/06/2023: Updated the traditional drawing with a rescanned, more clean version

1.-BFH FC 1 – Grawlbert

[Cutscene-styled script for partial storytell / character introduction sake –andbcwhynot-]

Scenario: Things happening in the zombie place past the dark alley; BF confronting Grawlbert face-to-face

Grawlbert

(#Been a while since last time we saw lil BF on da hood, yo)

(#City life really did wonders with you, dog)

(#Real shame your comeback had to be on these circumstances, tho…)

BoyFriend

(*Truth be told, these are the main reason I’m here)

(*Gotta do what must be done to help the hood, am I right?)

Grawlbert

(#Hmph, remaining as noble as when being small B, yo)

(#I know a way that’ll go well with ya, bro)

(#But ya gotta show off how much you can stand to have it, y’know)

BoyFriend

(*Try me!)

Grawlbert

(#Aight then. Brunze, get it going!)

------------

Remember the zombie dude I mentioned before? Yeah it is him, say hi to the internet bert-

I’ll confess something though, before this one, I did another design specifically for a side project of mine that also has some FNF/NG references to it (andiwontdenyitbcihaverespectforthecreatorsthatcamefromthereilya) and then based myself off of it to make this guy, but trying to keep the similarities at range

Basically, I ripped myself off…unless we consider it as a AlterChar case (plus this isn’t canon anyway so i can fiddle with it if I want to heehee-)

Though, to be one of my ‘first’ zombie designs, it looks neat even if I say so myself

Trying new art tropes and styles is really fun, ngl

2.-BF’s cracked microphone

Aw man, you broke my mic-

For this one I initially though it to be during the oof moment with the eye snek and stuff, but I reimagined it to be in the later later

I won’t say why it’s cracked yet, though you can figure out things of it, won’t mind

3.- BFH FC 2 – StyX

[Cutscene-styled script for partial storytell / character introduction sake –andbcwhynot-]

**Side note: This event is kinda ‘unchained’ by the time I write it up (ergo, no idea what happened before hand in concrete sense), so I’ll only focus on the encounter alone for now.

Scenario: Inside what we’d consider to be a freak circus’ ‘warehouse’ (or something of that sort) that has been made a mess of, an anthropomorphic hyena is sitting on the corner on its own, facing backwards and having passive-aggresive physical spasms every so and then and in different parts of its body, tail included.

As BF comes by, the hyena’s ears twitch up, as it starts sniffing the surroundings until spots the human behind them.

Quick transition (camera goes off and on)

Insert average battle stage layout w/ GF here

Styx

WhyY, lOoh -Oohkie thErre!

WEe gOt sOome NeEw guests Overr tOo thEe pAarrTYy!

aAnd One Of thEem’s aA rrEeAl trrEeAt tOo thEe EeYeE!

HeRr smEell’s nOt tHaAt chAarrmIing, thOougghh…

GirlFriend

Repulsion. Don’t you dare come near me or else, you mange bag

Styx

WhAat?? YoOuu AfRrAaid Of cloOwnss??

GirlFriend

No, I fear you’ll give me awful zombie rabies by a touch alone

BoyFriend

(*Aight, cut it out now)

(Hey Mr. McCooties, is it here where the power source of this place’s at? Y’know, cuz of the blackout thing and stuff)

Styx

YEeS!

AanDd AeE guEsSs yOou’re thEe One whOo wIll sOo “ffIxX” Eet, wOn’t yOUu, lIttLe mUusiCkAll bOYy?

WeEell thEen, lEet’s gEet thE shOoOw goOing, mYy dUude!

Frowns with a wider smile. …and yOu bEtter mAke yOur pArt gOod.

Lightly savage. I’m dOing sOme bIg Efforts hEre to kEep mYself from STRAIGHT UP tEaring yOu Open lIke mY cAge’s bEd pIllow

BoyFriend

Normal+‘Ough’ face. Ah…

------

Speaking of old OCs making their comeback…also furries (I’m having pico’s school love conquers all flashbacks now help me-)

And OOPS I accidentally drew him on BF’s position, sorry sorry will fix later pinkie promise

Yes this boi was an old OC of mine that used to be a low-key clown and used to wear an orange-ish handkerchief round his neck

Now he’s a lame excuse for a Joker wannabe that plays a fool out of himself for mere cash…oh and he’s also quite the aggressive type when he’s bothered, reason why he wears a shock collar as you can see there

But since there is no electricity it’s no longer an issue for him so he can do what pleases him…rap included

And about how he is able to breathe…he’s kind of an undead too so sdfghj-

4.- Eye-nimals…?

Got a little carried away with the eye morph idea, oopsie

I’d say, despite how unsettling they might look, I think they’re kind of cute...spookute (?)

5.-BFH FC 3 – Madame le Momst

[Cutscene-styled script for partial storytell / character introduction sake –andbcwhynot-]

**Side note: This event is kinda ‘unchained’ by the time I write it up (ergo, no idea what happened before hand in concrete sense), so I’ll only focus on the encounter alone for now. (2)

Scenario: Momst’s boutique(?).

Madame le Momst

Oh my feathers, hello there, little darlings!

Come in, come in, I’m all for visits tonight~

Pigeon Pit

HELLO!

Crook Crow

…hey

BoyFriend

(*S’up)

GirlFriend

Hi there              

Madame le Momst

It’s been so long since I had someone coming to my boutique…

Lowered smile. …Since the blackout not only took my beloved music away, but also my fashion motivation

Sad. I’ve been trying to make new confections, but I just can’t come up with anything, as I so used to do before…

Cuckoo glance…and by just hearing that, you might tell it kinda has gotten me a little…too out of my head lately, to say the least

GirlFriend

You don’t say, dear.

BoyFriend

(*Well, I can help you out on that if you like)

Madame le Momst

Oh, you would do that for me?

BoyFriend

(*Sure! Why else do you think I came over here anyway?)

Madame le Momst

Oh, so kind of you!~

Defying. …Still, you better make that kindness stand up enough towards my expectations

Sinister. And if you not, well…let’s just say your little girlfriend will have to compensate the loss

Cuckoo-er glance. I’ve heard demon eyes are quite the prettiest of jewels in this kind of industry after all

GirlFriend

Heh, not even a chance, honey

Crook Crow

Sharp stares. Don’t underestimate me, woman

GirlFriend

Sharp stares back. …

-----

I’ll express my feelings towards this character through a meme:

Therapist

-Female half-naked birb with tits doesn’t exist, she can’t hurt you

Female half-naked birb with tits

-Staring deep into my soul

I’m as lost as you might be, but this was out of a little memory of mine where my good ol’ friend Algid and I were talking about VB’s Ink Amalgam and I suddenly brought the idea of it looking like Momo

And well, here I am

You can tell I didn’t have much to think about and just went with the flow on this one, it was kind of fun still so whateva

Also really clever of me covering her crotch but not her tits

Pft-

Sweet Jesus woman cover those nips of yours, no one needed to see them that closely t h a n k    y o u

6.-BFH FC 4 – Sarco Daddy/Mummy Daddy

[Cutscene-styled script for partial storytell / character introduction sake –andbcwhynot-]

Scenario: Mummy Club’s interior; MumDaddy’s ‘office’ specifically

BF enters past the ‘stringdoor‘ alongside GF; they’re dressed with the same fashion of the ‘staff’

BoyFriend

(*Good evening ladies and gents, I’m looking for the owner of this place)

Mummu Ka

Oh, you wanna see the master, cutey?

Zuu Xha

Jhe’ll be jhere in a zecondd, don’t worry

MumDaddy enters the room from a different stringdoor

Mummy Daddy

What’s going on here?

Mummu Ka

Someone’s here to see you, master

Quick transition (camera goes off and on)

Mummy Daddy

So, you said you know how to fix our power leak over here, did you?

BoyFriend

(*Yeah)

Mummu Ka

Concern. I have a feeling we shouldn’t really trust this little boy, master

Zuu Xha

Yea, thiz girl jhe brought jhaz zomething zuspixiouz…

Slightly sharp stares with tongue out. I can zense it from jhere

GirlFriend

Bruh face. That’s because I’m literally next to you, sis.

Zuu Xha

Suspecting. Ztill…

Mummy Daddy

Don’t worry dears, she doesn’t seem to call for trouble here

…Yet

As for you, I’ll give you a chance to try do the magic with our stuff here.

Frown. But if things don’t work out in the end, you’ll get a free sadomasochist session by me personally

And trust me, it’ll be more painful than the human type of play.

---------

Mummies are really classy to be a part of the undead category, aren’t they?

Yes, this is adult nightclub naughty things confirmed

Don’t worry though, fanonically here BF is an adult already so y’know (?) (I keep him as a shortie bc I’m lazy…and also bc he cute like that)

7.-BFH FC 5 – The Bone-Oilers Leader (Formerly known as ‘Motorbones’)

I changed his ‘name’, yes

It sounded really generic so yeah

He still gangsta tho

8.-Pit and Crowk (Madame Le Momst’s pets/little assistants)

Mommy’s little babies…wicked babies

9.-BFH FC 6 – Grave-nan

[Cutscene-styled script for partial storytell / character introduction sake –andbcwhynot-]

**Event skipped: BF’s quick discharge and final check-up (protocol purposes)**

Scenario: The Hood’s Graffee Streets

GF walking by and looking around carefully

GirlFriend (on though)

They said this was the place I had to go to ask

Hope it wasn’t a scam…

GF accidentally hits a paint can with her shoe

GirlFriend

Ah!

Someone steps in, a freakystein holding another paint can on his hand

Grave-nan

(¬Woah! Watch it!)

GirlFriend

Oh my, sorry

Grave-nan

(¬Say, what’s a pretty lady like you doing around here all alone?)

GirlFriend

Looking for someone that can help me and my BF on this whole blackout mess, that’s for sure.

Grave-nan

(¬So, you got the memo about it, huh?)

(¬Well then, if that’s the case, then I’m the man you’re looking for!)

(Name’s Grave-nan, or Grave for short)

(¬And –wait, did you say BF?)

GirlFriend

Uhm yeah, that’s my partner’s name for short

Grave-nan

(¬Hold up, you mean THE BF? AKA Lil BoyFriend?)

GirlFriend

Blue hair, short height, long brows

That’s my boy if you wanna know

Grave-nan

(¬Frost damn, now you got my attention!)

GirlFriend

My goodness, you guys are really fond with him, aren’t you?

Grave-nan

(¬Heh, yeah!)

(¬…Though, people don’t have the same view of you on this side of the street after what happened during last Friday)

GirlFriend

Crossed arms …

Grave-nan

(¬Yeah, rumors do spread like disease ‘round here)

(¬But in all honesty, for a demon relative, you don’t seem like a threat to me)

GirlFriend

If that’s the case, then we should take that zombie dude who hurt my BF with his snake thing as the main topic

Now that’s what I’d consider to be an actual threat, no bias thoughts at all

Grave-nan

(¬Wait, Unk Grawlbert did that?!)

(¬Darn, now things are twisting to the worse with this outage!)

(¬Still, that wouldn’t have happened if he had a reason other than just…)

(¬…well, bare spitefulness)

(¬Say, did BF encounter with something ‘weird’ going on while he was there?)

(¬…just in case he actually told you, of course)

GirlFriend

Now that you say it, he kind of did

During his stay at the hospital, he did mention something about ‘strange arrow patterns’

Translating his words, ‘instead of a 90 degree angle, they looked as if they were on a 45 one’

Grave-nan claps his hands in realization.

Grave-nan

(¬Now that’s what’s going on)

(¬He expected him to use the ‘diagonal mechanic’!)

(¬…but he didn’t have anything to activate it, I’ll guess)

(¬You multiply that frustration and unconsciousness with the no longer contained zombie instinct)

(¬Then add the idea of BF betraying the hood because he plus you equals nope according to him and most of the old-school zombeeps and zomboops around here)

(¬And BOOM, total mayhem breaks into the party )

(¬Quick maths!)

GirlFriend

Wait, diagonal…what?

Grave-nan

(¬Diagonal mechanic, dear)

(¬It’s a new way of power generation, especially for this kind of situations)

GirlFriend

How does that work?

Grave-nan

(¬Well, it basically turns singing into electricity)

(¬Sound frequency particles being transformed into energy, this that)

(¬Science things, y’know)

(¬And all the magic can be done with the help of this little guy over here)

Grave-nan puts his hand inside his pocket, takes it out, and shows GF a small device as he opens his fist (the little device is slightly on due to his own body’s electricity)

GirlFriend

Oh, pretty cute.

Grave-nan takes GF’s hand softly and puts the device on its palm, closing it afterwards.

Grave-nan

(¬Just connect it to the mic, and then you’ll be ready to go)

GirlFriend

What? So it’s as simple as that?

Grave-nan nods

Grave-nan

(¬Yup!)

(¬…Though it doesn’t do much when us undeads try to use ‘em, hehe)

(¬I mean, if it was to my will, you bet I’d give my all to help da hood, yo!)

(¬But uhm, you see…)

GirlFriend

Freakysteins can’t touch active electronics, or else they’ll shock

I know, I work with plenty of them until the sun settles down.

Grave-nan

(¬Oh, cool!)

(¬And good you know)

(¬So…Want me to give you a little lesson about how to use it correctly?)

GirlFriend

Sure, why not?

Grave-nan lends his arms towards the alley

Grave-nan

(¬Awesome! Come over here, we’ll have more space to practice)

GF walks past him to where he’s pointing.

Grave-nan

…

Grave-nan (on thought)

(¬Oh brother, I’m real pimpin’!)

(¬I’m about to do something for da hood man himself, the one and only…Wow!)

(¬Might be just a small help, but it’s still nice to be somewhat helpful)

(¬…nonetheless, remember Grave, don’t grow too attached)

(¬you know how it is…)

Grave-nan takes a deep breath, regains his composure and goes with GF

[T.B.C.]

------------

That one NG-themed char I did for C4:C‘R’ but instead it’s a freaky-steined iteration of him

…yes I said freaky-steined -and yes my dude zombeeps and zomboops are how they call zombies around here, zombeeps for fems and zomboops for men)

He doesn’t join any parties though, but he knows things as you can see here

3

[quinlin-blog1]

The Lost Island ~ Chapter One

**Just a quick note. This is one of the first ever books I wrote. Disclaimer being that it’s going to be cringe-y at the beginning but it does get better** 

The warm May sun beams, joyfully, almost playfully, through the window of a tall house at the end of a quiet street. Children cheerfully ran playing up and down the road and skipping ropes at the local park. From inside the house, a girl of sixteen could see her little siblings as they rough-housed in the front yard. The sun came through the window, illuminating her bright green eyes and shining on her long soft brown hair, with its teal dip-dyed ends tumbling down to her lower back.

That's me. My name is Adriana Langster, I have five siblings, four of which are younger than me, and one is older. I live in Australia, though I won’t say where exactly.

My head was resting on my palm, my other hand sketching the scene in front of me. I found myself smiling as I thought about my little siblings, but then, the smile dropped.

I will be going away soon. My mother is sending me to a finishing school for girls on faraway island. I won’t see my friends or family for three years. My baby sister will be starting school, with my brothers and younger sister.

Flashback:

I was in my backyard, playing With Maya, my baby sister.

"Adriana!" My mother, Lana, called.

"Coming mum!" I called back and set Maya on the sun chair, and ran inside. My mother was sitting on the couch, looking absolutely elated.

"What's up mum?" I asked sitting in my favorite chair, swinging my legs off the edge of the arm.

"Remember how when you were younger, you said you’d like to go to that finishing school that our neighbor Olive went to?" She asked me. Yes, I remembered, but why was she bringing this up now? That was eight years ago.

"Uh-huh?" I answered hesitantly. ‘Wow, really elegant Addy’ I thought.

"Well. Guess who was accepted?" She asked eagerly with a huge grin.

"Lily?" I asked hopefully. ‘Oh No, I don't want to go!’ I begged inside my head.

"No silly, you! They have accepted you in! Isn't that great!?" Mum shouted as she tackled me with a hug.

"Uh mum?" I asked. How was I supposed to tell her?

"Yeah?" She asked, smiling like a goof.

"You do realize that, that was eight years ago right?" I started slowly.

"Yes, time flies huh?"

"I don't think I want to go anymore mum" I told her.

She looked confused. "Why? When Olive told you about it you were begging to go" She pointed out to me.

"Yeah but, I've changed since then. I've made friends, I have a life now. I'm enjoying myself here. That place is a school to teach girls how to become proper ladies. I don't really think I belong there" I told her.

"That's why you're going. Because you need to learn to become a lady."

"If that was your plan to send me there, then why not send me earlier?! Why would you wait till now, when I’m happy and comfortable here?" I snapped.

“Sweetheart your name has been on that list since you first showed interest in going! Olive made sure of it!”

“I know mum! But I've changed from the little girl I was then!”

“Don't think that I haven't noticed.”

“My point is! I've changed, I don't want to go to that school any more. I'm happy with  the one I’m going to now!”

"I'm not sending you because I want to ruin your life, I'm sending you because it's better for you and will give you more opportunities." She said.

I shouted in exasperation and stomped upstairs to my bedroom.

End flashback.

  As you can tell I didn't take it so well.

Someone banged on my door, knocking me out of my thoughts. I went over and opened it. No one was there.

"Addy!" A little voice cried.

I looked down to see Maya hugging my legs. She couldn't pronounce my name right, none of them could at that age. I leaned down and picked her up. Since Maya was born, we’ve always had a very special connection. I sit down on my bed and bounce her on  my knee. Maya loves this. She also find's it funny when someone sneezes. Seriously, it's like the funniest thing in the world for her.

"Addy's going to have to go away soon" I told her. Tears coming to my eyes. I hated the idea of abandoning my baby sister. She needs me and I need her. Maya tilted her head slightly. Her small hand reached up and touched my cheek lightly.

“Why?” She asked me quizzically.

I didn’t want to answer the question, so instead I brought up another subject.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her.

"Yes" She replied. Of course, she’s always hungry. I smiled down at her.

I lifted Maya up and put her on my shoulders. She giggled as I bounced down the stairs. Her small arms wrapped tightly around my neck as she hung on.

I haven't been on very good terms with my mother since that conversation. Though we still speak it's not as carefree as it used to be. When I reached the kitchen. Lily and Lysander were taking large drinks of water. They had bruises and slight scrapes on their arms and legs. I smiled and shook my head slightly.

"Hi Addy,” Lysander said.

"Are you coming to our magic show tonight?" Lily asked. They were always putting on magic shows and performances. The two of them were almost like twins, even though Lily was a few years older than Lysander.

"Of course. Why not?" I told them.

 They smiled. Uriah, my youngest brother ran in, holding his superhero figure out with his arms spread wide open.

"What time is your magic show?” I asked. Peeling an apple and cutting it into quarters. "Ow!" I exclaimed when Lysander bumped into me making me cut my finger.

"Oh! Sorry Addy!" He stated.

"It's alright" I said, running the cut under cold water.

"The magic show is at six o'clock. Here's your ticket" Lily stated, handing me a piece of paper with my name and a big six on it. I smiled at my sister and kissed Lysander’s head.

"Ew! Sister Germs!" He yelled and ran away. Lily chasing after him.

"Addy? Can we watch a movie?” Uriah asked me.

"Of course, let's go" I said, Picking Maya up off the counter and carrying her into the living room where Uriah turned on the T.V. Backyardagains was playing. Uriah plopped on the floor in front of it. I sat on the couch with Maya curled up on my lap, gnawing on an apple slice. Eventually I fell asleep listening to the cheesy songs from the show and Uriah’s laughing.

I was awoken abruptly, when the family dog Lee and my dog Twilight ran into the living room, wanting me to take them for a walk. Twilight was huge, being part Dane part husky, I often put Maya on her back and let her ride Twilight. Lee, on the other hand, was just a tiny little thing. We rescued her a few years ago when she was two years old and she still looks like a puppy.

I groaned.

"Alright, alright!" I said. Getting up and stretching. My back made a series of relieving popping noises.

I walked to the door and grabbed Lee’s leash. Twilight never left my side. I had rescued her when she was a puppy from some kids that were throwing rocks at her. I took her home, cleaned her and nursed her to health. Since then she has become my best friend and protector. Of course, she was the protector of the entire family. When Maya was born, Twilight looked after her like she was her own. I was Twilight's mother and Maya was the baby sister.

I clipped the leash to Lee’s collar and I opened the door. I was instantly hit by a wave of heat. Even though it was autumn it felt like midsummer.

We walked down the streets, waving to the neighbors, when suddenly I was slammed into the ground, there was a person was on top of me. Catherine.

"You know. If you weren't so shy, I would say to try out for the football team" I groaned sarcastically. She laughed and climbed off me.

Catherine was quiet most of the time, though when we're together she's quite animated figuratively speaking. She had pale blonde hair and amber colored eyes. It was hard for Catherine at first, because her hearing is impaired, we had issues communicating when we first met for a school project, but my mother had taught me basic sign language at a young age.

But, of course, Catherine wasn’t alone. Our other friend Crystal was standing not too far away during these events, holding Lee. Crystal always loved that dog, probably because she was easy to pick up and cuddle.

Crystal was something else to say the least. Crystal is Catherine’s opposite. She tends to be more girly than either of us. Her black hair was cut just to her shoulders, the roots dyed bright. And she tends to be quite random.

Catherine’s purple streaked hair was pulled back into a ponytail, as per always, while Crystal’s was a riot of braids.

I had already told my friends that I was leaving in a few days.

We had been spending as much time together as possible. We headed over to my house to drop off Lee. Twilight will whine if we left without her, so we decided to bring her along.

"Hey mum?! I'm going to go to the park with Crystal and Catherine!" I called up as I left the house on my bike. Crystal and Catherine had already grabbed their bikes and were waiting for me.

We didn’t usually go to the park, unless we had to take the little kids with us.

Luckily Lily was best friends with Alex, Catherine’s younger sister so we regularly brought them to the playground.

When it was just us, we went to our favorite grove of trees on a cliff, overlooking a lake, covered with vast trees. There, we had made our tree houses, three separate from one main one.

No one ever came here, but if they did they wouldn't have been able to find the tree houses unless they knew what they were looking for. Mine, was filled with pictures that I had taken…I want to be a photographer, a video camera and an underwater camera, a lap top for photo editing, my snorkel and mask, books. The main house had a few seats and an extra-large first aid kit. Catherine’s idea, she wants to be a doctor. Getting up there wasn't easiest thing in the world, let me tell you. We had to make it hard to get up so that people won't think of trying. We each have different ways of getting up. Crystal's way is an inconspicuous platform that she can crank up, Catherine’s is a rope ladder that she wove the first day (It took several tireless days to get this all done, in which our parents thought we were out at a science fair) and mine was a simple, "find as many ways to climb up as possible" kind of deal.

We reached the hang out and climbed up to the main house. I looked at my surroundings. Many pictures of past summers, Halloweens, Christmases, Easters, Birthdays and many more different ones, hung up on the walls. We made this tree house three years ago. It made me sad that I would have to leave it all behind for another three. What will change while she's gone? All this would be gone. We would be older. Nineteen, wow.

"Don't worry Dell. We won't ever change" Catherine said as she came in. I must have looked as confused as I felt because Crystal spoke up next.

"You were thinking aloud Dell”

 (Some clarity, my friends call me Dell to stand for Delta, Catherine is Alpha or Alphs for leader and Crystal is Beta or Bets.)

 "Sorry, can't help myself. Think, I won't be able to see you guys for three years, excluding Christmas." I stated sadly.

"I'll see you. My mum set me up to go too. Aren't otters adorable?" Crystal asked.

"Yes Bets, otters are adorable. Then it's just me?" Catherine said

"Why don't you go?" I asked.

"Because Dell, you know my mum" Catherine had a point. Her mother wasn't the nicest person on the planet, she was very stern and had a high shrill voice that could cut glass at the lowest whisper. She didn't like me or Catherine very much so she loved to lecture Catherine on us. This was one of the reasons Catherine was so shy.

"You don't have to tell us we're going. You can tell her that you've given it some thought and decided you wanted to go" I stated.

"I couldn't ask for an otter" Crystal sang happily.

I face-palmed, so it's otters now? Last week it was bunnies, the week before it was sloths. Crystal is obsessed with cute baby animals. She begs her parents for one, they say no, she moves on to a new one and repeat. Catherine seemed to be thinking the same thing because she repeated my actions.

"Are we allowed to bring pets?" Catherine asked. Last month, her parents had caved and bought her a pet penguin that she named Sparkle. Personally, I still couldn’t believe that she had gotten a penguin, we were in Australia for heaven’s sake!

"Yeah, I'll be bringing Twilight." I explained.

We were quiet for a few minutes, each one of us doing our own thing, when Catherine suggested going swimming, to which Crystal and I agreed.

I ran out and ran across the bridge to my house, wobbling unsteadily as I did so. I took out my bathing suit and changed quickly, before climbing down the tree and jumping the last few feet to the ground. I raced to the cliff at the edge of lake with Crystal and Catherine chasing after me. I reached the lake and began to remove my shorts and t-shirt and dove into the water just as Crystal and Catherine arrived. I resurfaced and was splashed by Catherine. Crystal was rubbing sunscreen onto her pale skin on shore since she did not tan well. Catherine and I began to splash each other, laughing uncontrollably. After a while we headed back to shore and collapsed in the sand to relax and tan for a bit.

I was going to miss my girls.

"We'll miss you too Dell" Catherine stated.

I need to stop thinking out loud. I thought.

"Yes, you do" Crystal agreed.

"Dang it!” I exclaimed and my best friends laughed.

"What if your mum says yes? Then we could all go together!" Crystal tried.

"Yeah, I could ask her tonight when I get home" Catherine stated.

"Actually, I was thinking we could have a sleepover tonight. You could ask if that’s ok when you go to get your stuff" I told them. I had asked my dad this morning and he said it was all right. He thought that since I’d be leaving soon we should cram in as much time together as we could.

"Sounds good." Crystal said happily. She's always happy. Maybe that's not a bad thing

I leaned over, making sure that my friends didn't see, and picked up two handfuls of wet sand, balled it up and threw it at them. Crystal screamed and Catherine fell off her chair face first into the sand.

"DELL!" They screech. I ran.

It quickly turned into an all-out sand war. Catherine threw one into my hair and I hit Crystal in the shoulder. Crystal set a timer for one hour, and the sand fort competition began. Forty- five minutes later my fort was done, with walls taller than myself and a foot thick. As the others continued to build up their forts. I began to make ammo.

I had made about twenty sand balls before the timer began to sing the duck song. ‘Really Bets?’ I thought to myself.

Instantly Crystal let out a war cry and began to throw sand bombs at both me and Catherine, who ducked behind her fort for cover.  I ran around them and behind Catherine. Grabbing a handful of sand and shoving it down the back of her shirt. She squealed and jumped up and down, trying to get the sand out of her shirt. I was rolling on the floor laughing until tears rolled down my face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Catherine stop throwing sand and look at Crystal. Suddenly they both jumped from behind me grabbing sand and shoving it down my own shirt as revenge.

This continued for ages, with us teaming up against each other. Finally, we all collapsed on the sand, panting for air.

"Alphs, what time is it?" I asked.

Catherine reached over to her bag and pulled out her phone.

"Two twenty- eight" She replied.

"We've been here for three hours?" Crystal questioned

"Yup" I answered.

"What do we do now?" Catherine said.

"Well my dear buddies. We, are going to shower, get dressed, then go to my place. My mom wants to take us out for dinner, to celebrate" Crystal stated.

"Celebrate what?" I asked.

"Getting into school. Alphs will have time to convince her mom to let her go before we leave" Crystal pointed out.

"She has a point" I said.

"I guess I can try. It wouldn't be too bad getting out of that place for a while." Catherine concurred.

"Great! Let's head back and meet up at my place around four, mum wants to take us at five thirty" Crystal said happily.

"Then we can have time to get ready for you guys staying over" I said.

"I'm glad we don't ever do these things at my house, last time it was a disaster" Catherine mused

It was true, the last time we had a sleep over at her house was two year ago. Boy we sure learned our lesson. We accidentally burst one of her feather pillowed and stained her carpet and bed sheets with grape juice, her mother was none too impressed to say the least. Mind you we were like ten.

"We'll have the basement tonight, Lily.... Oh no!" I exclaimed.

"What?" My friends asked.

"Lily and Lysander are doing a magic show tonight at six! I won't be able to see it and they'll be upset”

The last time I pulled a stunt like this they whined at me for three days straight.

"Maybe they would bring it earlier if we told them we'd come" Catherine told me.

Lily loved Catherine more than she did me, though I loved Alex, Catherine’s little sister, tons, so it worked out nicely.

"I'll let her know that" I said and grabbed out my phone and turned on Skype. Instantly a message from Lily.

"When are you getting home? Is Cathy coming with?" It read.

"Well that's the thing, Cathy will be coming with me, but can you move the show the earlier so she can be there? Crys’ mum wants to see us at five thirty" I explained. It took a few moments but my phone beeped again none the less.

"Fine, but You have to be here at five" Lily stated.

"Perfect I'll be home soon. The others will be coming too, plus Alex" I could almost hear her squeal.

After saying quick goodbyes, I hung up the phone and turned to my friends with a grin.

"We're good, as long as your there by five and have Alex with you, she can stay over too.

"Oh, she'll love that. She'll probably screamed louder than anything and run to pack for the night" Catherine said amused

"That's why I love her" I said taking my hair out of its bun that was falling to the nape of my neck and shaking it out.

So, we left the beach back to our houses to drop off our stuff and head back to our actual homes. My brain couldn't stop thinking about how much things are going to change when I leave. I would be sixteen where I got back for the summer. I wouldn't be coming back for another summer for three years, Christmas and spring breaks, but nothing else. Then I would have to go back for another three years.  By the time I'd finished the school I'd be nineteen!

 “You’re thinking' too much about it Ads! It won't be as bad as you think!”

I have four voices in my head, two boys and two girls. The girls named Cal and Tori, the boys named Zell and Arrow.

Zell, Arrow and Tori mostly keep a level head about things, while Cal insists on always looking on the bright side. They had apparently been in my head since I was born. I hadn't ever told anyone accepts for Catherine and Crystal, who also had voices in their heads. I had never told my parents, though I had come very close to at many points in my life. Mostly when Cal and Tori were nagging me about something, or when Zell and Arrow were annoying me, or when one of them let something slip that they weren't meant to. I got so caught up in thought that my parents would notice and ask me about it. I always lied my way out of it smoothly.

“I can't help myself Arrow. I'll be gone for so long! Everything would be different!” I replied to Arrow’s statement.

“You’re thinking too much about it Sissy! It won't be that bad!” Cal said to me.

“Oh Sure! Everything is Goin' t' be fine and dandy when she be goin' t' a place where she don' be knowin' anyone, or even know where to be goin' Sure Cal She'll be fine!” Zell said sarcastically.

“This can't get any worse. I completely agree with Zell on this one. I don't know anything about where I'm going or who I'll be meeting”

“You'll be fine Mistress. It's best that you go to this school” Tori spoke up.

“Wait? Do you guys know anything about this school that I'm going to?” I asked.

“Er- No, nothing. We only know what you know” Tori lied.

“Nice try Tor. We be knowin' everythin' 'bout this. We just can't be tellin' you 'bout it” Zell covered.

“Under whose authority?” I said, dignified.

“The boss man! The big guy! The toughie! Think about it Ads. He's the one who doesn't want you to know anything about yourself that you don't already know! Remember that time when you were ten and playing football? There was no way you could have made that shot but you willed yourself to so you did! You saved the game because you did something impossible! I'll bet-” Arrow's monolog was interrupted by a loud smacking sound and his loud call of “Ouch”. Tori or Cal had Smacked Arrow.

“Arrow! You weren't supposed to say anything! We could get into trouble!” Tori scolded a pouting Arrow.

“Well it ain't like we can be leavin' Ads in a rut with no way out, Tor.” Zell pointed out to Tori 

“But the master told us not to tell her anything she doesn't need to know!” Cal reminded them.

This conversation seems to be very one sided.

“And we ain't goin' t'. But we ain't goin' t' leave 'er with Nothin'!” Zell said firmly.

“Yeah! She has the right to know what's going to happen! Or at least a rough edge of it!” Arrow agreed. 

Yep, very one sided.

“Well how do we know she can handle it?” Cal asked.

“Are you kidding me!? It's Ads! Of course, she can handle it!” Arrow exclaimed.

“Are you sure? Because it's this kind of stuff that makes people worry and stress.” Tori pointed out. 

“It's Ads we be talkin' 'bout! O' course she can handle this!”

“Guys!” I shouted, finally having enough. People looked at me weirdly.

“Go back to your knitting!” I told them and they averted their eyes.

“Point to Ads” Arrow joked.

“Thanks. What is going on?”

“What we are going on about Ads, is that the fact that you’re going to the school is important, you have to go. But Catherine and Crystal are going to be there too.” Cal reassured me.

Seems like I have no choice. I thought to myself. As I stepped through my door,. I was instantly ambushed by Maya and Twilight.

Maya riding on Twilight's back as they came romping up and trampled on top of me. Twilight licking my face, while Maya insisted on jumping endlessly on my belly. And I suddenly felt the bile rising in the back of my throat. No, I didn't really throw up. Thank whoever may be out there, for my iron stomach.

“Help! I'm being sat on by a demon baby!” I shouted 

My mother poked her head around the corner to see what was going on, only to roll her eyes, smile and walk back into the living room

“Thanks for the help!” I shouted after her.

“You're welcome!” Came the reply.

I turned back to Maya who was literally making my breakfast come back up.

“OK! OK! I'll make you a smoothie if you get off” I offered, laboring to breathe.

Maya got off and I hobbled off into the kitchen to make myself and Maya a smoothie.

                                                      *

  A loud ringing of the doorbell interrupted my giggling as Maya and myself hid away from Catherine, Alex and Crystal, who were the ones that were ringing.

You see, we were hiding from them, partly because I didn't want to get dressed, but mostly because we were hyper on sugar. It wasn't our fault that mother had left the cake and pies unattended.

So here we were, hiding in Maya's large play house that was in her playroom. We heard footsteps up the stairs and the door open.

“Addy! I know you're in here! I want to hide too” Alex's voice came.

I opened the door and let her into the small house. We giggled and waited for Catherine and Crystal to come up and find us.

“Come on out Dell!” Catherine called.

“Yeah. Either we'll find you. Or the man- eating otters will!” Crystal added.

Que Catherine face palm and Alex's stifled laughter. Crystal and her silly obsession with baby animals. Alex and I were completely busting a gut, so much so that we failed to keep our laughter quiet for much longer.

“They’re in the house!” Crystal exclaimed as they heard us

“No, we're not” I said

“Yes, you are!” Catherine stated

“Can't touch this” I sang quietly to Alex who laughed harder, if possible.

“What did you say?!” Catherine and Crystal asked loudly

“Nothing!” We replied.

I counted down and we busted down the door, running out of the room with Maya asleep on the little bed in the house.

“Can't touch this!” I sang loudly causing both Catherine and Crystal to laugh.

“That's what you said!” Crystal exclaimed.

We ran into my room and collapsed on my bed and floor, laughing too hard.

“W-when do you l-leave?” Alex stuttered out as she tried to calm her laughter.

“In about six days.” I replied, taking in air.

“Cathy asked mother if she could go, I think mother will let her though. I'd love to go” Alex said to me.

“You’re just too young Al. You'll be going soon enough” I reminded her.

“Yeah, I know. Then Lily and I can go together!” Alex said brightly.

“Yeah, we'll be back soon enough for Christmas and then spring breaks.  Three years from now you can go too” I told her.

“I know. But it's going to feel like forever!” She emphasized the “Forever” in the sentence.

“I know!”

“Alright Alex. We need to get Dell ready, so out you go.” Catherine said as they walked in.

“Yeah. Come on, Delly!” Crystal Smirked. This was never a good sign.