#shutthefuckuperica

[stfuerrica]

self reflection is a fucking cunt

I’ve gained some perspective on this break up, and I realize I’m just as responsible for what happened. I was so sure of this decision but now of course there’s the looming what if. What if I wasn’t such an emotionally crippled narcissistic psychopath, and was actually honest and open and loving. 

The only way this would work was is if he made a life change and I was honest about everything. But neither of us are ready to do that.

Hindsight is 20/20

Therapy sessions are $230

But thank God a bottle of wine is only $12

[stfu-erica]

I'm in a constant state of I do everything for everyone and y'all never do shit for me

[stfu-erica]

Guys I am so in love

[stfu-erica]

Merry Christmas mother fuckers @rrws

[stfu-erica]

even though I've gotten better sometimes when it gets late and my mind starts to wander I still have little episodes of self doubt and frustration but the next morning I wake up and it feels like nothing even happened and I go about my day with the knowledge that it could creep up on me at anytime and that even when I'm fine I'm not that kind of fucks me up

[stfu-erica]

there should be a disclaimer so that when people meet me they are aware I'm an asshole and know full well what they're getting into

[stfu-erica]

I like to play dress up with my cosplay wigs Follow my Instagram: stfuerica

[stfu-erica]

It's like, what if he doesn't care about me as much as I think. What if history repeats itself and he realizes he's better off without me. What if I'm ready to take things further but he sees this as temporary. And what if this is just me overthinking, and panicking. He means the world to me

[stfu-erica]

Sometimes it only takes the cold night air to trigger me into an existential crisis and have me grasping to identify who I actually am

[stfu-erica]

Hunting for roomates

Who wants to live with meee, I'm adorable, won't bother you much, and my hair smells nice

[stfu-erica]

Today is a very gray day

I feel disconnected, like someone has unplugged me. Drained, and aimless. On the plus side I've only gained 13 pounds from depressive eating, it felt like way more

[stfu-erica]

I want to get matching tattoos with someone someday because it's so cute and dumb and important to me

[stfu-erica]

I think I've ended things with the wrong person. I don't know what to do.

[stfu-erica]

Plans cancelled twice tonight

Icing on the cake.

[stfu-erica]

Ignore me

I’m so angry and I don’t understand why. 

It’s like a bubbling frustration filling up in my lungs and making my chest heavy and I just want to scream to relieve it but as soon as I do I’ll have to explain why I feel this way which I can’t and that only builds my frustration. I actually hate having days off of work because I actually have time to stop and think and feel and it hits me like a wave. I’m frustrated, I’m lonely, I feel like Im having to grasp for the smallest bit of human attention and I’m fucking exhausted. I want people to pay attention to me but as soon as they do I have to explain myself and I don’t know how. Even fucking children can articulate their emotions. 

I need a cigarette. 

[stfu-erica]

Good morning Vancouver! ❤️✈️ The stewardess gave me two sets of cookies, I think she can tell I’m a starving baby