#shut up sova nobody cares

[sovaghoul]

I am half an hour away from buying my boyfriend plane tickets to come visit me in less than a month wHY DO I HAVE THE SADS??????

[marislittleworld]

What Nishi hates about all the agents of Valorant?

Just to let you know, he don’t exactly hate the agents, he just don’t like the ways about how they act on the missions or in the base

Brimstone:

What he hates the most about Brimstone it’s not just about he refuses to retire de VP, it’s because Brimstone always asks him about technology… an his patience is limited

“Ok old man, I know you are the leader, but can you please shut the FUCK UP?!”

Viper:

He respects her, with his heart, but there are times when she annoys him:

“You have to be careful with your powers combined” or “don’t be our dead weight”

Sage:

He only sees her as a healer of VP, he don’t care about the healers, because he have some of his mom’s (Liane) powers. There are times when she comes to him and says that his attitude is not acceptable

Sova:

Sova it’s like the most pacifist of the Protocol, but he killed some people too. Nishi huffs and says:

“What do you mean everyone it’s gonna be alive after we save the world? Oh come on, your hypocritical! Last mission, you killed the enemy Omen, if you want everyone alive then why you kill other people? What you do is violent impulse! So let’s talk, but without this violence…”

Breach and Raze:

They are very loudly, he just says:

“黙れ (shut up in Japanese)”

Phoenix and Jett:

Every time they have some competition with EVERYTHING! It’s just so annoying.

“Have you two seen that NOBODY CARES about your stupid competitions?!”

Reyna:

Sometimes she treats him like a baby, and don’t respect his powers, for being the same from his mother (Liane) and father (Yoru)

Cypher:

He just don’t like the way that Cypher looks at him with his cameras. He hides his things away from him.

Skye:

He is like his father, he hates the zoo, like REALLY! When he found one of Skye’s birds on his room. He took it, walk to the Skye’s room and he step on it in front of her… and he took out his gun and shoot all of her animals

“How does that feel Skye? In the next time, if I see another of your stupid wooden animals in my room… you’re next…”

Killjoy:

He don’t like the way she studies him like a test subject, it’s like she will not care when he dies on her experiment…

Yoru:

He don’t exactly hate his own father, he likes him so much, but there are times when Yoru piss him off… like: one day, they were training their aiming and Yoru told him this

“I hope that my future version is having a great life with Liane”

He just thinks of himself, no more… no less…

KAY/O:

Humm? What’s that thing?

@elysas-world @runeterrankhaleesi @kanaesparadise @rahneii @spliinkles @threat5680 @mathyna

[thecreativewolf]

Random Valorant OC Headcanons That Nobody Asked For

Askal:

Askal knows how to do those K-Pop dances. His little sister Tessa's birthday was coming next month and he wanted to surprise her. He ended up teaching himself the steppings, choreography, etc. which pissed him off because it was "too fast." In the end he managed to perform the dance and Tessa LOVED it.

He and his siblings had a game they played whenever the daily afternoon teleserye plays where they get to guess what sort of crazy, insane twist the episode goes.

Tessa: "Alam kong si Andy ang long lost twin ni Rudy!", Bartolomew: "Teka. Didn't they almost kiss that one episode?"

Being an inventor and making sketches for his inventions, Askal is an average artist. He draws in his room in his free time (and doesn't the contents to anyone). But when he can't take it anymore he goes to the people he trusts to voice out his problems.

Askal is a die hard fan of Aegis. "Basang basa sa ulan" is his favorite among the other songs and is the most sung song in his weekend karaoke nights. However his vocal chords get strained as he cannot sing the high notes.

He isn't a religious person. Askal was a Catholic but when his parents died he lost his faith. He also isn't superstitious however he still does the "Tabi, tabi po," greeting just in case.

Despite being very upbeat and outgoing, Askal has anxiety. The thoughts, the pain 'what-ifs' in his head pains him. He hides his struggles from everyone (even from Sova and Bantay) since he believes he'll just become a heavy burden.

As stated in the pinned post under the mischellaneous section, Askal once had a relationship. He and his ex-boyfriend met in highschool and it lasted for about 3 months. Askal realised that his ex was toxic; his ex was very self-centered and controlling, and didn't care for Askal's ambitions. So he broke up with him despite his pleas.

Askal has an overwhelming sense of guilt whenever he kills a mirror agent or just kill at all. He was just a civillian. Sure he raided some Kingdom facilities, but he just uses his Smokescreen and runs away.

Bantay:

Bantay gets seperation anxiety. When Askal is not around, Bantay tries to play it cool at first but three minutes later he's freaking out. He's howling, scratching the floor and gnawing the walls. The only thing to calm him down is to do activities he and Askal do.

Bantay hates Chamber and Reyna. Sure he has a "Persons of Interests" list, but those two he personally hates. He doesn't like how they're all shady, he doesn't like their scheming and he could go on and on.

He hangs out with KAY/O. He doesn't want to admit it but he enjoys KAY/O's presence. Bantay would also want to learn some things from him like jokes, combat against radiants, etc. But they get along really well since they both distrust Reyna.

Bantay secretly watches dog shows. He comments on the canine contestants and the host's commentary.

'That Corgi thinks he's all mighty and shit, but the Cairn Terrier is going to shut the English snob up.'

Magpie

Before the entire incident, Magpie used to play polo with Chamber. They'd have laughs and had a friendly banter when they play against each other.

If Magpie works late she'd ask Chamber to watch over Claudette and Maurice. The thought of being both a baby and dogsitter bugged him, but Chamber agreed nonetheless.

Despie coming from a line of security guards, policemen and soldiers, Magpie initially wanted to become a lawyer but scrapped the idea and decided to becomes a weapons developer for Kingdom.

Magpie's health has been improving ever since she'd eaten radianite but it also had some bad effects on her. She'd occasionally vomit puddles of blood, her radianite implants on back began to fuse with her skin (then suddenly blood red radianite starts sprouting from her back which he trims daily) and her skin turning a pale blue.

So yeah. Don't eat radianite.

She has lots of contacts in the crime world. She has informers, cleaners, etc. that makes her whole job a lot easier.

Loves listening to cheesy pop songs. If someone manages to know this fact, Magpie will not let them see the light of day ever again.

Will say random shit. Like she's in the middle of torturing someone and she'd say, "Do you know the plural form of moose is still moose?", and the person would just look up at her with a questionable and confused look.

Despite trying to kill the past, Magpie still reminices the days when the incident never happened and she tries to drown the pain with more radianite.

[sovaghoul]

"I'm a responsible adult" I tell myself as I ugly snotcry over my decision not to go to SoM this weekend

[sovaghoul]

Anxious ramble

Constantly scared I am somehow actually the most toxic girlfriend. Scared I'm somehow secretly fetishizing my trans boyfriend when I tell him how sexy he is or exclaim that trans people are hot in general. I hate that I read posts written by other trans guys sharing awful experiences and have to take several moments to try and remind myself that I am not doing those terrible things, and then have to go ask him anyway to make sure I am not somehow actually terrible. I try to take solace in his words when he reassures me, but sometimes I just can't shake the feeling that I am a worthless piece of shit because other (cis) men have made me feel that I am. They invalidated my attempts to figure out my sexuality (my high school boyfriend saying he didnt want to believe I was bi because it was "easier" for him) or else fetishize it themselves (my ex husband constantly trying to get me to sleep with random girls so he could watch or we could have a threesome). And I'm scared that my trauma makes me just as awful

[sovaghoul]

tfw you wrote a fic over a year ago and just today see someone else also realized the same vision but you know you're so unimportant and inconsequential in the fandom so it's pointless to make any mention of it even if it's just to agree with said vision so you make a vague post still terrified that someone will accuse you of accusing them of copying/stealing even though as was previously stated you don't matter nearly enough for anyone to copy you anyway

[sovaghoul]

Ramble/vent/unimportant. Feel free to interact but please don't reblog.

When I first ventured into this fandom, I made a close friend who inspired me to write beyond my initial headcanons, and adopt more fanon-accepted lore. I didn't mind, though my first hcs are still dear to my heart.

Through posting those fics on AO3, I and that first friend were adopted into a friend group, three of whom I felt I had gotten especially close with. One of those people, I ended up having a falling out with. It sucks, but it happens. I'm sure I'm the bad guy in their story because they pretty swiftly blocked me everywhere.

That first friend and I, we had a parting of ways that was very painful for me, some months later. I don't want to talk about it other than to say, they also blocked me. And I can't ship dewther anymore.

A third person, our interactions slowed and I only discovered they'd blocked me some time in March. A shame, I loved their art. They never spoke to me about why they chose to block instead of simply unfollowing. I have to assume they had their reasons, but that was very triggering for me, due to past friendship trauma many, many years ago now.

Now tonight I've unfollowed the last person from that group. We haven't been mutuals for a while, and I'm not sure if that was intentional or not. They've claimed they don't unfollow on purpose, but I can't help but have my doubts. I don't know why I held on for so long, seeing their username hasn't inspired good thoughts in me for quite some time now.

I'm not sure why I'm posting about this. Posterity I suppose. I have many people I love seeing on my dash, and a few of you I do DM with occasionally, or have contact with on other platforms. I have my best friend and the love of my life (who is, appropriately, my other best friend) because of this fandom.

But I don't know how much I'll write anymore, because while the attention to my fics felt amazing, it's bittersweet at best now, on the rare occasions I get any attention at all; There is such a thing as clout in this fandom and on this site, and I have none. It's not worth the heartache anymore, to put myself into these works only to have them all but ignored. It's a vulnerability I can't afford anymore. I'm still lurking and reblogging, but contributing isn't something I'm willing to try much more at.

Not like anyone will read this, much less care.

[sovaghoul]

Second day of anxiety for no reason and now fucking clothes are giving bad sensory. Tonight I decide if I can afford SoM tickets for this weekend and pray I make a wise decision (wise for myself over all, mental health included)

[sovaghoul]

Random things that trigger me bc trauma:

Bats

The word "blorbo*

The Aztec God Quetzalcoatl

Feeling ignored by someone I love

Being ignored by someone I love

Someone taller than me looming over me especially if they're angry

Tool

Kevin Gates

Even just reading about someone getting slapped in the face even if it's supposed to be part of kink play

Why am I sharing this? Because I'm on day three of being fucking triggered and this has to go somewhere 🙃

[sovaghoul]

My child doesn't feel well and I am too anxious to sleep and I need help I need money I need my person I am not ok rn I need someone to take care of me and allow me to let go and fall apart and I am so tired of being strong and keeping on and when is it my turn to fucking lose it shut the fuck up Sova nobody fucking cares

[sovaghoul]

Fucking paycheck isn't showing up as expected. Probably bc the punch app was fucked up on the last day of the pay period and didn't get fixed until today. Now I'm overstimulated and annoyed and gonna cry and I still have an hour left of work and I just want to go home

I am half an hour away from buying my boyfriend plane tickets to come visit me in less than a month wHY DO I HAVE THE SADS??????