#shut uP LIBBY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inmyheaddd · 9 days ago

Text

starry eyes sparking up my darkest night - averyjameson

a/n: heavy influenced by thinking bout you by ariana hehe, also trying out a new style sorta?? so i'm vv sorry if this is horrible.,, thank u tig gc/ liv for help with the quotes !! summary: (set in thl, pre coma) avery cannot stop thinking about jameson, and the thought that he may just be the right person for her. the fact that there even could be a 'person for her' is jarring enough, and jameson being at the centre of those thoughts does not help her predicament. wc: 2.8k

Avery tossed and turned in her bed, trying insanely hard to grasp some sort of control over her mind and her thoughts. She lay on her side and screwed her eyes shut. Two minutes later, her eyes flew open, and then she turned to lie on her back.

''Picture yourself standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean. The wind is whipping in your hair. The sun is setting. You long, body and soul, for one thing. One person. You hear footsteps behind you. You turn. Who’s there?” Max had once asked her.

When she first heard that question, she felt like she was fully incapable of ever picturing anyone there with her. She was simply alone. But now, Avery hated that the picture was becoming increasingly more clear with every passing moment.

That head of unruly brown hair, an ever-present wicked grin, and green eyes that seemed to look straight to the deepest parts of her.

Jameson. She saw Jameson.

Avery groaned and turned onto her other side and went through that process of turning fruitlessly at least 5 more times. Seriously, Avery, get a grip, she thought.

Why was he always there when she needed him? Why could she see that he had actually changed for her? Why was he... good? Avery once again squeezed her eyes shut like it would turn off those thoughts of Jameson and let her fall asleep, but of course, it didn't work.

Love? Fear? Lust? She couldn't quite tell what it was, but all she knew was it was becoming harder to keep that one green-eyed Hawthorne out of her thoughts. She knew that for some reason, she wanted whatever they had going on to be more, and she wanted it to work out.

That was it for her.

She sprang out of bed and went to her closet, picking out her favourite sweater—the one Libby had gotten for her when she noticed the thinness of the old one Avery would always wear. That felt like a whole lifetime ago to her now. She wondered what her past self would think of her life now, think of the choices she was making.

She made her way to her bathroom and splashed her face with cold water. There was no point in even attempting to sleep anymore; it was clearly not on her side this evening, so why not make the most out of it?

She made her way downstairs, arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to combat the cold, not really knowing why she was going, but she figured once she was down there she'd figure out what she'd want. The house was eerily quiet—it was always pretty quiet considering the sheer size of it, but now, Avery could swear she could seriously not hear a single thing. She almost wondered if she went deaf.

She made it to the kitchen, not even bothering to turn the big lights on. There were lights from underneath the cabinets and moonlight and various other lights pouring out from the windows. That was enough for her. She sighed and slouched on one of the chairs on the island.

She ran a hand through her hair, trying so very hard to not think of the amount of times she and Jameson had sat here, how many times he had grinned at her when he would seemingly appear out of nowhere behind her and scare her half to death.

And as if the universe was playing some funny trick on her, the boy who had been taking up her every rational thought walked into the kitchen. He didn't notice her at first, his black sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips, no shirt on, both hands rubbing his eyes as he walked towards the cabinet that held the glasses for water.

Avery felt like she'd been caught, though she hadn't done anything wrong. Thinking of someone wasn't a crime, right? Surely her thoughts couldn't have summoned him. She couldn't take her eyes off of him, and her heart sped.

She didn't move a single inch, and Jameson somehow still stayed completely oblivious to her presence a mere few metres away. Or maybe he was aware and just didn't show it. Avery could never fully tell with him. He blinked a few times, then set his glass down and stretched both his hands overhead, groaning ever so slightly.

Okay, I should seriously look away now, she thought. Or she should make her presence known, maybe clear her throat or something. But she couldn't. It was like she was entranced with the way the toned lines on his torso elongated, the way his arms looked, the way his hair fell into his face ever so slightly, the way his hands—

''Heiress.'' Avery's thoughts came to a halt. Her eyes snapped up to his face, and he had amusement sparkling in his eyes, mixed in with confusion. He managed a sleepy grin at her as his arms fell back to his sides.

He phrased the word like a question, almost. There was sleep still laced in his voice, and Avery swore she could listen to him like this for hours and never get sick of it.

He tilted his head. ''Why on earth are you awake?'' he chuckled lowly, not mentioning the way she had simply sat and stared at him for the past minute.

Either he was protecting her sanity and didn't want to tease her right now, or he really just didn't notice the way she stared. Avery snuck a glance at the time on the oven. 3:42 AM. She'd been trying to fall asleep since 11.

''Um,'' Avery cleared her throat, trying to sound as casual as Jameson did with a small laugh. ''Couldn't sleep. Why on earth are you awake?''

''You know what they say, Heiress,'' he narrowed his eyes jokingly, ''No rest for the wicked.'' Jameson flashed her a wink, finally filling up his glass of water under the tap.

His eyes didn't leave Avery once, not even looking at his glass as he turned off the tap and brought the cup to his lips.

He leaned back against the counter, and Avery turned slightly in her seat without realising, facing him properly.

''You think you're that bad, huh? Don't flatter yourself.'' Avery mumbled half jokingly.

''You almost sound like you think I'm good,'' he quipped with a tilt of his head, downing his glass of water in a second, and Avery 100% did not look at the way his Adams apple bobbed or the way his lips looked. Absolutely, definitely not.

Avery managed a sarcastic smile, not showing any signs of being affected by his actions or words as he walked over and sat next to her.

She snorted, ''You're probably the furthest thing from good in my life, Jameson. Doesn't mean you're necessarily wicked, though.''

He looked her up and down with a glint in his eye—he looked wide awake now. ''Furthest thing from good?'' He hummed, ''I think you would do with some recklessness in your life.'' He continued, his tone not really holding any humour in it anymore. Avery realised just how close he was now.

''Maybe someone who lets you know it's okay to not do what others think is 'good.' Someone who breaks free from the reins with you but knows when to bring them back.'' He told her, a half smile on his face as he gently nudged her shoulder.

''Not that you're not able to do all that by yourself; believe me, I know you're capable of many things.'' He said that last part in a way that made Avery break away from his gaze. ''The thing is, I think that you simply don't want to. You like to play it safe.''

Avery understood the other message he was silently conveying: He liked to play it dangerous.

She felt like the part of her shoulder where he had nudged her was igniting. She could sense there was more to what Jameson wanted to say, so she brought her eyes back up to his. ''But?''

''But,'' he tilted his head, ''I also think you should. And, I think that someone would love to show you just how life can feel when you're free. They'd be a very lucky person to do so.''

''Let me guess,'' Avery smiled dryly, but her insides felt like they were on fire with how fast her heart was beating. ''You're that someone?''

''I'd be anything you'd like.'' He replied, flashing a quick smile that reminded Avery of the Cheshire Cat. ''You know, you're a very good guesser.''

''I don't like to guess.''

''Yeah?'' Jameson let out a breathy chuckle. ''I thought as much. You like to know.''

Avery pressed her lips together and fought back a smile; she did like to know. She hated feeling like there was something left undiscovered that she couldn't quite figure out. Which was partly why she loved the thrill of figuring things out. That moment when everything seemed to click. Jameson had picked up on that fact about her pretty damn quick.

Avery didn’t look away, holding his gaze steady. "Yeah, I like to know," she admitted quietly, her voice even, "I know you're the same way. With winning, too. Is it weird that a part of me doesn’t like you knowing that about me?"

Jameson’s crooked grin grew, "Not weird at all." He shrugged, the casual movement undermined by the glint in his eyes. "You don’t like me wanting you, either. You don’t like wanting anything.''

He said the words in such a laid-back manner, while Avery's heart dropped. Her brows knitted together, it almost felt like a confrontation, but she got the sense that he wasn't judging her. “But you know what’s interesting, Heiress?” His voice dipped a degree lower as he inched his face just a fraction closer, the kind of proximity that always left her torn between feeling both cornered and wanting to break the space even more. “You and I—neither of us are that easy to figure out. And yet here we are.''

''Here we are,'' she repeated, her voice coming out sharper than she intended, ''knowing each other more than we'd like.'' She said, finishing his sentence for him.

And trusting each other with our lives. She thought, but she didn't dare say it aloud. She thought back on the Black Wood, the way he put his body over hers with no hesitation.

"I think that’s why you can’t decide if you hate me or not," Jameson added, his voice dropping a degree lower, "You like knowing, but being known? That’s a different kind of risk, isn’t it?"

He knew he was right. She didn't need to answer. He'd just summed up the way she had felt for years of her life in 3 sentences. She wouldn't let herself be known, yet a part of her yearned for it. Most people gave up trying to get close to her after a while, but with the��few that stayed, Avery's walls slowly broke down, and she got comfortable.

The risk Jameson was talking about, the one about people staying, he seemed eager to take it.

Avery’s heart raced, but she gave nothing away, merely tilting her head with a wry smile. "You’re overthinking it, Jameson."

His grin widened, and he leaned in ever so slightly, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Perhaps you’re choosing to not think about it, Avery."

Oh, if he had any idea just how much she thought about it. Once again, he knew, she was choosing, or at least trying to not think about it.

Her mind lingered on the way he called her by her name. Not Heiress, not Mystery Girl. Just Avery.

''I've 'thought about it' enough.'' She told him, her gaze flitting between his eyes.

He casually brought his hand up and brushed a stray hair behind her ear, his gentleness nearly making her flinch. ''And what was your conclusion?" He asked innocently, his voice a low hum.

Avery nearly sighed in frustration. She knew Jameson was simply trying to get her riled up, but she still sarcastically quipped, ''Why don't you use your guessing skills?"

He hummed, like he was seriously thinking about it, but the teasing smile on his lips said otherwise. ''I'd rather hear you say it.''

Jameson's hand that tucked her hair behind now fit right where her jaw met her neck, and his green eyes looked nearly black in the dim lighting of the kitchen.

''Tough luck, then.'' Avery mumbled, unable to look away.

Everything had seemed so cold just minutes earlier, but now, Avery felt like every nerve in her body was on fire. She wondered if Jameson felt the same.

Avery tried to keep her composure, but the way he held her made her question everything. She was used to keeping control, but with him, control felt impossible, unnecessary even. There was something about his touch that made her feel like she could let go and still be safe.

"Jameson…" she breathed, her voice barely a whisper. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to pull away or bring him closer. His hand slid lower, resting at the base of her neck, and the heat between them intensified.

"You want me to stop?" he asked, though it seemed he knew her answer.

Perhaps he wanted to hear her say that too.

Avery’s mind was racing, her heart thudding loudly in her chest, but her answer came without hesitation. "No." It was barely audible, but it was enough.

In the next instant, his lips were on hers, and everything else faded away. The kiss was soft at first, slow, as if he were testing the waters, but Avery wasn’t about to let it stay that way. She leaned in, arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer.

Jameson responded instantly, one arm sliding around her waist, then he stood and brought them both out of their chairs as they stumbled around the kitchen, not breaking from the kiss.

They continued walking blindly until he gently backed her up against the counter. Avery’s breath hitched, but she couldn’t pull away.

She didn't want to pull away. She didn’t want to doubt her choices. Not anymore.

Click.

Avery had suddenly felt like everything fell into place, like the very first step she had taken in the Hawthorne House had led to this, to uncovering the mystery of what she and Jameson Winchester Hawthorne were. She once thought they were only confined to adrenaline, attraction, and the thrill of the moment. No strings attached. No messy emotions.

Now, she found herself feeling every messy emotion, like there had been a string attached right from her heart to his, pulling them closer and closer and closer.

'You long, body and soul, for one thing. One person.' Jameson.

'You turn. Who’s there?'Jameson Winchester Hawthorne. He was there.

He was here. And he was kissing Avery and holding her face so gently in a way that no one ever had before, like she was precious to him. Like he truly cared, and not just about the games.

And after all the times Avery spent thinking about the different ways her life could've been, she found herself not wanting to be anywhere else but here.

If possible, Avery's heart started beating even faster as her hands travelled down his chest, feeling every rigid bump and dip. Her hands quickly found their way back up and slid into his hair, pulling slightly. She felt him grin against her lips, which brought her back to reality.

She was the first to pull back, her hands lingering around his neck for a second longer before they slid down to his chest.

“I should... I should go to bed.” She muttered into the small space between them, looking at her hands and bringing them back to her sides before looking straight up into his eyes.

Jameson tilted his head, his pupils blown out as he gazed at her. His lips were parted as he caught his breath. ''Right.'' He nodded breathlessly, their lips still unbelievably close. ''It's late. Busy day for you tomorrow, yeah?''

Avery nodded as she breathed out a small, ''Yeah, you know how it is.''

Recently, all her days were busy, considering the Skye and Toby business.

His lips curved inwards into a thin line as he stepped to the side, giving her space to move. His expression was something that looked like understanding—or maybe it was disappointment. Either way, he didn’t push. He just nodded.

“Alright,” he said, managing a grin, seemingly out of the daze he was in earlier. “Goodnight, Heiress.”

Her stomach twisted, ''Night, Jameson,'' she let the words fall as she stayed looking into his eyes. She forced herself to look away, because she had a feeling if she didn't, she'd be there all night.

She finally stepped away. She wasn't clueless; she felt him watch her walk away. But she kept herself moving before she could let herself change her mind.

And this time, when Avery lay in her bed, she actually fell asleep.

taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @littlemissmentallyunstable @anintellectualintellectual @lovethornes @maybxlle @sheisntyou @emelia07 @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @charsoamerican @hxress23 @imaseabear @clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @thelov3lybookworm @graysw1fe @lanterns-and-daydreams @hermesenthusiast @elysianwayy77 @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @apollosmusee @hijabi-desi-bookworm @goldi-1-graysons-version @saigonharrington @peppapigsposts @thoughtdaughter3 also special thank u to @apollospoem for the beta read!! 🙈 she saw it first!!!

#the inheritance games #averyjameson #avery kylie grambs #jameson hawthorne #the grandest game #tig #grayson hawthorne #xander hawthorne #nash hawthorne #avery grambs #avery x jameson #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #❦ jude writes

138 notes · View notes