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fionnmeetsharry · 7 years ago

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OMG I LOVE YOU ALL! I CANT BELIEVE I NOW HAVE 500 FOLLOWERS, AND TO THANK YOU HERES MY LONGEST ONESHOT YET!

Hey I'm not sure if you are taking requests right now. But I have been watching fionns show, Him and been getting all types of weird feels from it 😂.but I was wondering if you could do one where y/n and fionn are step siblings and one day him and y/n are alone and he decides to kiss her. And it gets really heated and there is a lot of smut whilst making sure they don't get caught by anyone.SMUT NSFW word count 8039 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Someone like you

“I think this will be good for you honey, the move and all”.

You sat silent in the passenger seat as you stared out the window, watching the scenery as you passed by. It was a gloomy day, rainy and cold out, but that definitely wasn't going to stop you from moving in with your father, your birth father.

Ever since your parents divorce you had been living with your mom, you were always really close and got along exceptionally well, that was until Brad came into the picture. Your parents divorced five years ago, your dad started dating Alyssa three years ago, and married her last year.Your mom on the other hand didn't take the divorce well, and any guy that showed the slightest interest in her she was “in love” with. She met Brad two years ago, he just proposed and they're marrying in a week. He never cared too much for you, just wanted your mother all to himself, someone to wait on him hand and foot, but he was wealthy so she couldn't really complain.

“You mean you think it will be better for you and that douch bag if I'm out of the house”.

“Y/N, I told you to stop calling him that, I really like him and he likes me”. You turn to look at her, feeling the anger overcome you from her words.

“Yea he supposedly cares about you and you care about him but not your own child, all you really want is me out of the way, cause it's what he wants”. You know your whole face is now fully red. How can a mother pick a man over her child? It didn't matter now, you'd be at your fathers in five minutes, and he did love you, even Alyssa loved you. You quite liked Alyssa, she always treated you as one of her own, kinda makes you regret picking your mother over your father, but she was alone and you felt that she needed you.

“It doesn't matter how you feel about Brad now anyway, your father can deal with you, and lord help you if you speak about Alyssa that way”.

“I wouldn't speak about Alyssa that way, cause she's more of a mother than you are anyway”.

You can see your fathers house now as you pull up the drive, unbuckling your seatbelt and opening the door before the car is even fully stopped. Hopping out of the car, you open the back door to get your bags, not bothering to speak to your mom, you didn't have anything left to say to her.

“Y/N, darling I've missed you. How are you love?” Your dad was now out of the house ready to help you with your bags. He looked good, healthy, happy.

“Hey dad, I'm good, how are you?” Your dad took your bags from you as you both entered the house. You had forgotten how much you loved this place, although you hadn’t gotten much time to spend here, only holidays.

“I'm better now that you're here. Want to see your room?” You nod and smile at your father as you both head upstairs, you were glad your room was upstairs away from everyone else so you could have some privacy. No one would yell at you for being up past a certain time, or for accidentally hearing what was happening in the next room, you were finally free.

“Well, here it is love”. The room was spacious, a huge bed sat in the corner with more pillows and blankets than you could ask for, and you couldn't wait to snuggle up under the fluffy duvet that was draped over it.

“Umm, I hope you like it, Fionn helped paint it and put the bed together, a-and you have a bathroom right out there”.

“Dad, I love it, thank you”. You quickly embraced him in a hug, just happy to be with him, happy to feel safe and wanted. “Missed you dad”. “Missed you too darling”.

“Alright, well I'll leave you to unpack and settle in, Alyssa should be home in an hour. Oh and if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask, this is your home now, want you to feel like it”.

You couldn't believe how quickly your mood had changed within 15 minutes just from being with your father. He was always understanding and caring, you knew this was the best choice. “Thank you, oh and dad, who's Fionn?” He chuckled at the question, finding it funny how you could forget about your step brother. “Fionn, your step brother… Alyssa's son you goof”. You had completely forgotten that Alyssa had a son, of course you'd only met him a handful of times. “Right…right, I don't know how I forgot”. “It's ok, he's right down the hall if you need him, and dinners at seven”. You nodded as your father exited the room, leaving you to have some privacy and settle in before dinner.

You decide that you should probably freshen up, grabbing a towel, and your toiletries from your bag. You lifted the towel up to your nose, inhaling the familiar scent that you've carried through your childhood to now. It was a comforting smell, mainly because your mother had been washing laundry with the same detergent your entire life, and it's the only thing that's stayed consistent. Luckily for you, Alyssa uses the same detergent, so the smell of Hawaiian breeze can continue to comfort you.

After entering the bathroom and striping from your clothes, you jump in the shower, the hot water hitting your muscles and immediately relaxing you. All the stress was now gone from your body, and you felt much better as you grabbed your towel from the drying rack and wrapped it around your body.“Crap! How did I forget to grab clothes?”

You were wet and cold from the air hitting your damp body. How could you forget to grab clothes, and you had already thrown your other clothes in the hamper, no way you were putting those back on. It's not like anyone's up here, you could just run from the bathroom to your room really quick and no one would notice. Grabbing the toiletry bag and clutching onto your towel you quickly walk out of the bathroom, almost making it to your room before you hear a deep voice, making you freeze in the middle of the hallway.

“Ummm… who are you, and why were you in my bathroom?” Please don't be who I think it is, please please please! You chanted in your head repeatedly before turning around to face him. “Hi” you said letting one hand free from your towel to send him a small wave. “I'm Y/N…your step sister”.

You saw realization take over his features as he stood there silent. You had just seen him eight months ago, but he was no longer the lanky kid you met at your fathers wedding, he had filled out. You couldn’t help but to notice how thick his neck was now and how perfectly his Adam's apple complimented it. His shoulders were broader, jawline more defined, and he was taller, you wouldn't even recognize him if your father hadn't reminded you of him earlier.

“Oh, right… right I forgot. Do you usually walk around in only a towel, cause most of us in this house wear clothes”. Seriously? He just met you… well not just but he didn't even know you and he was already being sarcastic. “No, I forgot to grab clothes before my shower”. Fionn just nodded his head in acknowledgment to your response, showing that he didn't really care. “Are you always such a smartass?” The boy laughed dryly at you're question, burying his hand in the pockets of his hoodie. “Dinners at seven, mum doesn't like it when people are late”.

And with that he went into his room. Great, he made an amazing first impression, he was going to be fun to share the upstairs living space with.

After you shut your door, you took a big breath and checked the time, it was now 6:30 PM, dinner was in half a hour. You grabbed some clothes and quickly put them on, checking your hair in your mirror and touching up your makeup before heading downstairs. You could hear someone rummaging around in the kitchen, it wasn't your father cause he went to pick up his and Alyssa's son from your grandparents. Making your way down the rest of the stairs you pray it isn't Fionn, but you hadn't heard him come out of his room since your encounter.

“Y/N, love how are you?” It was Alyssa, she embraced you in one of her warm hugs while she told you how good it was to see you. “It's good to see you too”. She stood back, a smile on her face while she admired you. “Well dear, dinners not quite ready yet, but it will be soon”. “Do you need any help? I'll do whatever you need”. Alyssa went back to tossing the salad she was preparing, while checking on the chicken she had cooking. “You're a guest Y/N, I can't have you cooking”. “Well technically I live here now, so I'd like to do my part”. Alyssa took a minute to contemplate whether she was going to let you help or not. “Alright, you can make the dressing, I haven't gotten to that yet”. You give her a smile, heading over to the cabinets to get a mixing bowl, then you start getting together all of the ingredients you needed.

You heard the front door unlock and open, your dad walked in with the baby shutting the door behind him before entering the kitchen.

“Hello girls, how's everything going?” You both tell him that dinner will be ready soon, him giving Alyssa a quick kiss before sitting the baby in his chair and heading to his room to freshen up. “So Y/N, I hope Fionn was polite and all…that is if you've seen him”. You went back to the moment the two of you ha run into each other earlier, thinking that no he was indeed not polite at all.

“Umm, well we just kinda passed each other in the hall… said hey, that was about it”.Alyssa was setting the table now and fixing the plates for everyone.

“Well, you'll get comfortable around each other im sure. He knows dinner is at seven, but would you mind going upstairs and getting him? He tends to be forgetful”.

“Sure”. You head upstairs, not looking forward to getting your step brother so he would be on time to dinner. Knocking on the door you hope he has found his manners since your last encounter.

“Fionn, Alyssa sent me to get you, she wanted me to remind you dinner is at seven”. You can hear the boy getting up from his bed, opening the door he just looks at you.

“Uhh, yea I know, dinners always at seven”. He wasn't being rude now, just seemed tired. He walked past you and headed down the stairs with you following behind. Everyone was already sat at the table when you made it downstairs, you and Fionn taking your seats across from each other where the food is already set.

“So, how was everyone's day?”your father asked as he took a bite of the chicken. “Work was good nothing new really happened today. Fionn what about you?” Alyssa said as she fed the baby. “Umm, no, schools school. This salad is amazing by the way, like the dressings different or something”. You just continued to eat silently while Fionn complimented your dressing, cutting up pieces of chicken and popping them in your mouth. “Well Y/N made it so tell her”.

You looked up, your eyes meeting his, you couldn't help but to think about how pretty they were with the most perfect eyelashes framing them. “I like it, s’good”. He said with a small smile on his lips. Wow, maybe he was just uncomfortable earlier, you were wet and in just a towel after all, and you would have probably not been too polite if a stranger was in your home naked walking the halls. “Thanks”. “How are you moving in and all Y/N?”

You felt happy and safe here, it was much better than being at your mothers where you knew you weren't even wanted, but you weren't going to tell your father that in front of Alyssa and Fionn. “It's great dad, I'm gonna be really happy here”. The rest of dinner you and Fionn were silent, just sharing little glances here and there as Alyssa and your father chatted. // You were now upstairs in your room, getting settled in and deciding what to wear to school tomorrow, it was about 11:30 and you really needed to get to bed, but you just were to antsy from the day. Looking at your window you see a cloud of smoke pass by, walking over you unlock it and stick your head out. “What are you doing out here?” Fionn was sat on the ledge that was below yours and his window, it was more of a second roof really.

“They don't know I smoke, well I think they do but I've never told them and they haven't caught me”. Fionn said as he took another drag of the cigarette.

“Oh, so this is like your secret hiding spot?” He nodded his bed as he blew the smoke out of his mouth, the white cloud leaving his delicate lips and flying into the night sky.

“Come sit”. He patted the spot next to him in an attempt to coax you out onto the roof.

You obliged, stepping out into the roof and taking the spot next to him, Fionn offering you a cigarette and you declining. “How's school, I only ask cause I'll be starting tomorrow, I'm a little nervous”.

“It's like I said earlier? Schools school. Nervous?” Fionn looked at you, eyebrows furrowed like it was ridiculous for you to be nervous.

“Yea… I mean it's a new school and I don't know anybod-” “You know me”. He said taking another drag of his cigarette, being sure to blow the smoke away from you.“Yea, but you don't want your step sister hanging around all day. I mean-”

“Of course I do. I mean…I would like to show you around, you know…until you're comfortable”.

You could see a blush creeping up Fionns neck and face, did he actually like you? Of course not, it's probably just because it's freezing out here. “Umm… do you want some hot chocolate? I was thinking about making some before bed.”

You saw a smile appear on his face, he really was beautiful. Wait what were you thinking, stop it Y\N he's your step brother. Yea but you aren't related says the stupid little voice in the back of your head taunting you.

“Well if you can make hot chocolate as good as dressing then yes”. You smiled at him as the both of you stood up and headed back into the house, Fionn shutting the window behind himself as you both snuck downstairs quietly to not wake your parents.

“Hey can you grab the cocoa out of the cabinet, I can't reach it”. Fionn walked over to the cabinet, pulling out the cocoa and handing it to you. Taking a seat on the counter, Fionn watched as you mixed together all of the ingredients.

“Here you go”. You said as you handed Fionn his cup watching him taste the sweet, thick, chocolate mixture.

“Fucking amazing”. He said as he pulled the cup away from his mouth, a little drop of the drink sat at the edge of his mouth, you swiped it up with your thumb placing it in your mouth and sucking the sweetness off. You could see Fionn gulp as you made perfect eye contact with him, he took both of your cups and set them on the counter, not being mindful of the noise. He jumped down from the counter making van more noise.

“Hey what are you doing, you're gonna wake everyone?” “Sorry, just thought you may wanna sit up here”. He said as he motioned to the counter. You shrugged as you walked towards the counter, jumping up and resting there, you now being level with Fionn.

“Aren't you going to come up here?” Fionn faced you, placing his hands on either side of your legs.

“No. I wanted to be even height with you”. You took another sip of your drink while Fionn walked towards the liquor cabinet, pulling out a half drunken bottle of whiskey. “What are you doing?”

“Adding a little excitement to your amazing creation”. Fionn said as he poured a bit of the bronze liquid into his hot chocolate.

“So not that I mind you living here, but why the sudden move?” He was now positioned exactly as he was earlier, directly in front of you with his hands on either side of your legs.

“It's complicated. My moms marrying some jerk who never wants me around…she sorta picked him over me…said I was the one causing problems and that I was worthless when he would yell at me for absolutely nothing”. “I'm so sorry Y/N”. You played with you pajama shorts, trying to avoid his pitiful gaze that you were sure he was giving you right about now.

“It's ok…I mean it's fine, I'm here now anyway, and it's better”. His interest had gone to your fingers that were still toying with your shorts, he was still listening to you, but just in awe of your movements.

“Yea…these are cute” he said as he lifted the baggy material around your leg. “Little pink flamingos, I like them”. He was only complimenting your pajamas, but you couldn’t help to blush at his kind words, but what if it was only the alcohol talking or he didn’t really mean it he was just messing with you?

“Thanks”. You said shyly taking another sip of your drink.

“You're beautiful Y/N, not worthless… I mean, I know that we don't know each other well, but you are… at least from what I can tell”. Fionn took another huge sip from his mug, trying to avoid eye contact with you.

“Thank you, that means a lot”.

Fionns hand gently met the side of your face, stroking down it before he leaned forward and placed his lips on yours. You could taste the sweetness of the chocolate mixed with the bitterness of the alcohol and his cigarette as his tongue entered your mouth and the kiss began to get more intense. It started off as a slow passionate kiss, you weren't sure what triggered it, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe the two of you had incredible chemistry.

You grasp the back of Fionns head as you spread your legs allowing him to stand between them, knocking a spoon to the ground in the process. Fionn broke the kiss to pick it up and make sure your parents hadn't heard.

“Don't worry about it”.

You said breathlessly as you tugged him back up to your lips by the collar of his shirt, his hands now roaming your bare thighs and sneaking beneath the fabric of your shorts. Fionn elbowed the box of cocoa in the process of trying to feel every inch of your soft skin, knocking it to the ground.

“Kids, are you down here?” You heard your dad yell from inside his room, luckily the living room separated the kitchen from their bedroom, so he couldn't see his step son feeling his daughter up as he kissed her. You both quickly scrambled to pick the items up, moving on opposite sides of the island to not seem suspicious of what you were doing moments ago.

“Hey are y'all still up, on a school night?”

You and Fionn both looked at each other, as if to come up with an excuse as to what you were doing, when really the whole thing was innocent to begin with. “We couldn't sleep dad, sorry. We just came down for some hot chocolate, hope that's ok”.

“Of course it is darling, just don't want you to be too tired in the morning is all”. All three of you stood there awkwardly staring at each other, before Fionn decided he was going to bed upstairs.

“Well goodnight dad”. You said as you quickly followed behind Fionn. As you were about to enter your room Fionn followed you.

“What are you doing?” Fionn looked confused, like you had decided on something downstairs and now you were acting like that conversation had never happened.

“I'm… I'm coming in with you… to finish what we started”.

“No Fionn, we can't…that can never happen again, you're my step brother”.

“Doesn't matter, we aren't related. Didn't you feel what I felt down there? I know you did so there's no denying it”.

“Fionn, like I said…we can't happen, goodnight”. And with that you shut your door in his face, exhausted from the confusion of it all you finally laid down and went to bed, awaiting the new day tomorrow. // It had been three weeks since the last incident, you and Fionn didn't really talk, just the occasional ‘Excuse me’ in the hallway. You had made friends with his friends, you were even getting close to this guy James, you’d been on a couple of dates but nothing serious.

You had tried to talk to Fionn, to make things normal again, but he wasn't having it. He avoided any conversation with you possible, so you tried your hardest to get his attention, walking out of the bathroom in just a towel because you “forgot” your clothes, wearing shirt and tight clothes. Sometimes you would grab one of his shirts out of the wash and sleep in that and only that with just a pair of panties, making sure he saw you in it.

Fionn knew how to retaliate though, he would forget his clothes when showering as well, waking up in the morning and walking out of his room in only a pair of boxers. This has gone on long enough, tonight after dinner you were going to confront him.

“So Y/N, is school still going well for you?” Your eyes were locked on Fionn as you twisted your pasta around the fork, completely not realizing your father had asked you a question. “Y/N…?” “Yea dad?” “I asked you how's school going”. Fionn looked up at you, licking the pasta sauce from his lips before taking a sip of water.

“It's great, I love it here…and all of Fionns friends are so welcoming”. “Maybe a little too welcoming”. You hear Fionn mumble under his breath. “Excuse me?” Everyone was now looking at Fionn as he swallowed the pasta down.

“S’just, I think you and James are a little too close, I don't like it”. “Well Fionn, are the two of you friends”. Fionn looked at your father annoyed at his interruption. The truth was,James was a great guy and Fionn knew that, but James had you, and he could be with you without any discourse.

“Yea and he's a fine friend, he's just a huge player, I don't want Y/N to get hurt”.

“Well, Y/N maybe you should slow down with this boy, I mean you just met him really”.

You didn't speak for the rest of dinner, just glared at Fionn, you were pissed. How could he have done that, it was selfish and rude. // You were sitting in your room, contemplating whether or not you should go talk to Fionn, you didn't know what his problem was lately but you were going to confront him. You were in one of his flannels that you put on after your shower, your shower where you stepped out with just a towel and ran right into him.

You knocked on his door, no one answered so you walked in. There he was stomach down on the mattress grinding himself into it, his eyes were squinted as he bit his bottom lip, working his hips into the mattress. You gasped as you accidentally elbowed the door, Fionn immediately stopped, looking up at you. “What the fuck?” He quickly scrambled to cover himself, red tinting his cheeks from embarrassment.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I was just coming to talk”. You quickly tried to exit the room, embarrassed from what happened.

“Wait”. Fionn said, reluctance lacing his voice. “What is it?”

“Well…I just wanted to talk about…about why you've been ignoring me since that night. “Ignoring you? Y/N you're the one that said we could never happen, remember?”

“I know that Fionn, but we could still be friends, you seem to not want me in your life at all”.

Fionn sighed as he sat up a little straighter, still trying to hide his hard on.

“It's… it's not that I don't want to be friends, it's that I don't know if I can with you. I want you more than a step sister, i think I'm falling in love with you Y/N, I've been attracted to you sense the moment we met two years ago”.

Did he really think he was falling in love with you? He was well liked by many girls at school, he could have anyone he wanted, but he wanted you.

“I want that too Fionn, and truth is I'm falling for you too. Why do you think I walk around in basically nothing all the time? I wanted you to notice me”.

“Then why didn't you let me in your room the other night? I thought things were going well”.

Fionn wasn't making this easy for you, you wanted to be with him, but it's not very common for step siblings to be together. “They were, it's just…we could never truly be together, we'd have to sneak around”. “Then sneak around with me, I don't care how I have to have you, I just want you”. You stood thinking for a second. Was this really what was best? You wanted Fionn more than a step brother, but at what cost?

“Alright, we’ll do it, but you have to promise no one will find out”.

“Promise”.

You stood there awkwardly, not sure where this left the two of you now. Fionn continued to cover himself as he sat on the bed. He didn't plan on rubbing himself against the sheets, and he definitely didn't plan on you walking in on it. It all started with him being too hot, so he stripped down to nothing, then he couldn't help but to think of you wearing his clothes and walking out of the shower in just a towel. He moved a certain way, rubbing himself lightly on the sheet that laid on top of him. It felt good, and he needed it, but what he really needed was you.

“Well…goodnight”. You said as you headed out of Fionns room. “Wait” you turned to face him, you could see how embarrassed he was with how frantic he sounded when he called for you. “Stay...please, help me?”

You raised one eyebrow at him as your head filled with the images of the two of you, you helping him with his problem, but you couldn’t let him know that you so desperately want to help him.

“Been trying to get off for days, I just can’t seem to cum...need...need you”. “Ok”. His face lit up, more in shock than happiness, he couldn’t believe that you had actually agreed. “You’ll...you’ll help?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yea, I said I would didn’t I?”

You walked over to his bed, bending down and lightly capturing his lips in yours, deepening the kiss and tasting his mouth as your explore with your tongue, tasting the cigarette that he had a bit earlier and a natural sweetness that seemed to always be there.

Fionn had slipped one hand under the sheet and was stroking himself, moaning in your mouth as he felt the pleasure. You slide your hand under the sheet, grabbing him and stroking him yourself, his free had that wasn’t holding himself up had snuck up under the shirt that you were wearing and gripping at your hip, his moans and whimpers getting louder as you worked him.

“Scoot back and lay down”. You said breathlessly as you broke the kiss, eyes still shut and forehead rested against his. Fionn did just as you asked, now fully laying down on the bed with you between his legs, teasing his by kissing as his hips and avoiding the one place he needed you the most.

“Please love, no teasing...not tonight”.

You did as he asked, grabbing him by his base and licking a broad stipe all the way to his tip, your lips wrapping around it as you flick your tongue over the slit. Fionn gasped loudly, trying his best to stay quiet so your parents wouldn’t hear, but you felt too good and this was just your mouth, he couldn’t help but to think what your warm, wet, tight center would feel like wrapped around him.

Fionns whimpers were becoming louder, you were now fully bobbing your head up and down as you hallowed your cheeks out, making your mouth even tighter on him. You were keeping perfect eye contact, occasionally gagging on his length while you squeezed and tugged at his balls, trying to give him ultimate pleasure. “Y/N... please, I need you...need to feel your warm center wrapped around me, want to be inside you please”. Fionn begged with his eyes screwed shut from how hard he was now, your mouth was amazing but he needed you.

“Fionn what about our parents, I mean what if they hear?”

Fionn shook his head, now sitting up on his elbows. “They won’t, come here”. He said as he stretched his arm out to you. You sat up, straddling his lap as his placed his hand on the side of your face, bringing you closer to him and passionately kissing you. The kiss becoming more heated as he unbuttons your shirt.

“Always loved you in my clothes”. He mumbled against your lips as he pulled it from your body, revealing you to him. “I like your clothes, they smell like you”.Fionns hands were rested on your hips as he scanned your body, he was in awe.

“God you’re beautiful”. He said as he pulled you in for another kiss, your clothed center now grinding on his length. You were already wet, sucking Fionn off could have made you cum just from his sounds and taste alone. You needed him inside you, but you didn’t know how quiet you could be.

“Let’s take these off”. Fionn said breaking the kiss and sitting up, you sat up helping him to pull your panties off before grabbing a condom from the drawer and rolling it on, you sinking down on him. You moaned as he entered you, he wasn’t huge, but he was thick and you loved the delicious burn he left in between your legs.

“Shit, you feel better than I could have imagined, so wet. Are you this wet from me, from having my cock in your mouth?”

You hummed out an ‘uh huh’ as you began to slowly bounce up and down on him, you hands firmly placed on his chest so you could balance. “Fionn, you feel so good stretch me so good”.

Fionns hands were firmly gripping your hips as you rode him, you could see his neck straining from him trying to stay quiet when really all he wanted to do was moan out how pretty you were.“Love, you’re so beautiful riding me, but we have to hurry, don’t want one of them hearing and I don’t know how long I can stay quiet for”.

Fionn pulled you down, your chest firmly against his, he wrapped one arm around your lower back, holding you in the perfect position for him to thrust up into you. He started off slow as you slowly kissed, you could feel every bit of him, every ridge and vein slowly caressing you. You were a moaning mess, you couldn’t suppress your moans like he could, he felt too good, hitting just the right spot.

“F-Fionn...you feel so good, please don’t stop”.

“I’m not love, but you have to stay quiet”. He said through gritted teeth with his eyes tightly closed.

You let out another moan and Fionn took his free hand and placed it over your mouth as he began to fuck up into you faster. You could feel that you were close and so was Fionn. Tears were now streaming down your face and running into Fionns hand, he felt too good, hitting that spot deep inside you that took you over the edge. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came around him, milking him of his orgasm. You rolled off of Fionn, your entire body limp as you both tried to catch your breath.

“That was fucking amazing”. Fionn said, eyes still closed and shivering every once in a while still affected from the intense orgasm.

“Yea...it was”.

Fionn opened his eyes and turned to face you, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. He didn’t think that you could be anymore beautiful than when you were riding him, but this, this was absolutely stunning, your post sex faze.

“What I want to do...what I really want to do is make love to you. Slow, passionate love where I can hear your moans and really feel you, where I can kiss every inch of your body and make you come multiple times. I’m sorry it wasn’t like that...our first time”.

“What are you talking about? Fionn, it was perfect, you were perfect. I mean yea that does sound nice, but I wouldn’t trade what just happened for anything”. Fionn gently kissed you.

“You’ve got to go back to your room”.

“I know, but I don’t want too”. // The past few weeks were all the same, Fionn sneaking into your room one night saying that y’all weren’t going to do anything, and then there you were, intensely making out with his fingers deep inside you. But sometimes all you did was talk or cuddle then fall asleep only to wake up at two AM freaking out that your parents had found you. Some nights you went to Fionns room, you’d end up sucking him off or pleasing him with your hand before laying in his bed and discussing your dreams with each other.

One night the two of you and your parents were downstairs watching a movie, you and Fionn on one couch bundled under a blanket, and your parents on the other. You were especially cheeky that night, you didn’t know what had came over you, but you thought it could have been the little make out session the two of you had before coming downstairs.

Fionn had tasted of his cigarettes again, you didn’t smoke and you usually hated when people did, but something about him doing it and the way he would taste after turned you on. During a particularly interesting scene, you snuck your hand into the waistband of his grey sweatpants, teasing his length, it now semi hard and Fionn was asking you to please stop, but you didn’t. Fionn had to get up and finish taking care of the problem you caused before coming back to finish the movie.

You claimed that it was just payback for the night you all went out to dinner. Fionn tried to finger you under the table, right there in front of your parents and a whole restaurant, a cocky smirk on his lips when you let out a little gasp. // “So dad, I have to ask you something”. You were all sitting at dinner, Alyssa had made a roast that she let sit in the crockpot all day, so the whole house smelled amazing. “Should I be nervous?” Your dad asked as he stopped eating, his full attention now on you.

“No, no. It’s just, I have this project for French class, I have to write about historical events, places, the food, art. They want to send me to France for a few days, all expenses paid. I can bring one person with me, but I know how busy you and Alyssa are so I was wondering if I could go alone”.

You could see your father contemplating on it, he was super strict, but you just didn’t know how he would feel about you going alone. “You can go, but on one condition”. “Yea anything dad”. “You have to take Fionn with you, that is if it’s ok with him”.

Fionn looked shocked as he looked up from his food, had your dad really just given him the best gift he could as for, he would get to be alone with you in a city where no one knew you were step siblings.

“Of course, id love to go”.

The two of you tried to contain your smiles so it wouldn’t be so obvious. “Ok, it’s settled then”. Your dad went back to eating, but all you could think of was you and Fionn finally alone. // You and Fionn had survived the two and a half hour train ride, finally arriving in Paris, where there was a car waiting for the two of you at the train station. Finally making it to the hotel and checking in, you and Fionn were both exhausted, falling asleep in the bed and decided to do your sight seeing tomorrow.

You and Fionn were having an amazing day, and you had to head back tomorrow so you were trying to make the best of the time you had. You started your day off with breakfast at a cute little cafe right around the corner from the hotel, then heading to the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre. You loved every minute of it, getting to act like a couple with Fionn, getting to hold his hand in public, it was amazing.

“I don’t want to go back tomorrow”. Fionn said as you slowed danced to the music that was being played. You were eating dinner at a cafe that had live music at nights, there was even a dance floor with strings of lights hanging above it.

“I don’t either”. You said as you rested your head on his chest.

“I’m serious Y/N, I wish we didn’t have too. Today has been amazing, I got to show everyone that your mine, I got to act like your boyfriend in public, I even got to hold your hand. No one knows us here so we can be what we want to be, and I love you, I’m in love with you”.

You couldn’t believe how sweet he was being, truth was you didn’t want to go back either, you just wanted to escape to this world where no one knew who the two of you really were to each other. “I love you too Fionn”.

He grabbed your face, gently kissing you as you stopped dancing. This was something new as well, something you couldn’t do back home. Kiss in public.

“See that, I want to kiss you when and where I want to kiss you, and I know that we can’t back home but, I’m glad I got the chance too here”.

What the two of you didn’t know was that James had come to France for the weekend, and that he was still bitter over you breaking up with him. He had thought that maybe there was another guy, but never your step brother. James made sure to snap a few pictures of the two of you, especially you kissing.

“Fionn, can we go back to the hotel? There’s one more thing I want to do before we go home”.

“Sure Love”.

As soon as you made it into your room you headed to the bathroom and Fionn laid down on the bed. You had bought special lingerie for tonight and you just hoped Fionn didn’t think it was too much. It was a black lacy matching two piece, you’d gotten it two days before, you felt confident in it, so you thought he may like it. Before stepping out, you pull one of his button ups over your head.

Crawling into bed, you immediately kiss Fionn. “Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing, isn’t there something you said you wanted to do?”

“Fionn, do you remember that night when we had sex, and you said that you wanted to make slow passionate love to me?”

“Yes”. That was all you had to say to trigger his memory, after he said yes he immediately grabbed your face, slowly and passionately kissing you, laying you down on the bed with him hovering over.

“Can’t believe I wasn’t gonna use this as my opportunity”. He mumbled as he kissed his way down your body, unbuttoning his shirt that you were wearing. The cold air hitting the trail that he left behind of hot, wet kisses, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

He made his way to your panties, sitting up to look at you sprawled out beneath him.

“Is this new?” He asked as he picked at the lingerie. You nodded your head “Yea, got it for you”.

“You look absolutely gorgeous love, but I’m gonna have to take these off now”. He said as he slowly slide your panties down, you lifted your hips up to help him. He tossed them to the corner of the room before removing his own shirt and kissing you again, making his way back down to your center.

“Can I taste you love, please?” “Yes, please Fionn”.

He spread your knees to give him access to the one thing he’s being dying to do. Taste you.

“You’re so beautiful”. He said in awe as he gently rubbed his finger over your clit before placing his hot wet mouth over it. You let out a little gasp at the sensation, his mouth felt amazing as he flicked his tongue over your clit, working you to your first orgasm.

“Fionn, don’t stop please... you feel too good”. Fionn worked you with his tongue as he pushed one finger inside of you, pumping it in and out at a slow pace. You gripped Fionns hair as he continued to lick you to your orgasm, his name falling from your lips every once in a while along with whimpers.

“Taste so good love, sweeter than your hot chocolate”. He was now sucking at your bundle of nerves, a second finger now stroking your walls.

“F-fuck I’m gonna cum...keep doing it just like that and I’m gonna cum”. Fionn continued his assault on your clit, now humming at your taste, finally pushing you to your orgasm. Your legs tried to close around his head as they shook from how hard you were coming. Fionn licked you through it before sitting up, your juices covering his mouth and chin.

Fionn kissed you, you could taste yourself on him, it was sweet and bit bitter. You were trying to undo his jeans, all you really wanted now was to feel the burn of that stretch that you loved so much. “Please Fionn...I wanna feel you Please, you stretch me so good, want you inside me”. “Ok love”. he said as he sat up, undoing his pants and removing them, throwing them to the corner of the room along with your panties

He lined himself up with you, slowly pushing himself in so you could really feel the stretch and it was even more delicious than before. This was a feeling that you would never get tired of, a feeling that you craved and needed.

“So amazing, you feel so amazing”. Fionn said with his head buried in your neck, leaving hot wet kisses on it as he slowly thrusted into you, Whispering sweet nothings in your ear, telling you how beautiful you are, and how much he loves you.

As he began to thrust deeper and your moans and his growls became louder, you started to move your hips against his, causing him to moan out your name with a shaky voice.

“Come with me love Please, I want to come with you”. He said sounding so desperate like he needed it more than air itself.

“Fionn...I think I’m close”. You could feel your stomach tightening as your orgasm washed over you, Fionn was now moaning out your name as well as you his. You gripped his back, digging your nails into the porcelain flesh, wrapping your leg around his ass, pushing him even deeper into you as you worked your hips against him.

You made love twice that night, the first time and the second time you rode him. Fionn told you the entire time how good you felt and how beautiful you looked, he even made sure to take care of you after, getting you water and a banana. // You got back on the train the next morning, sleeping through the two and a half hour journey home. As soon as you both walked into the house your parents were sitting on the couch, waiting for you.

“Hey guys”. Fionn said when they didn’t say anything, but just looked at the two of you like they were disappointed.

“Fionn, Y/N, I think you need to sit down, we need to have a talk”. Alyssa said, sternness coating her voice. The two of you sat opposite your parents, awaiting what was going to happen.

“It has come to our attention that possibly the two of you are more than step siblings” you father said, staring the two of you down.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”. You said fear filling your stomach.

“Really?” Your dad asked as he flipped over a picture. It was of you and Fionn in Paris at the cafe. Fionn was kissing you and you both looked so happy. Alyssa sat down two more pictures, one of y’all dancing and the other of you holding hands.

“James sent them to us, said he was in Paris and saw the two of you, he’s concerned”.

“He’s not concerned, he’s just some dick that’s upset that Y/N left him for me”.

“Fionn please sit down”. Alyssa said in a calming voice as Fionn continued on his rampage.

“No! I love Y/N ok, I’m in love with her. We’re not related, our parents just decided to marry a year ago so it’s not wrong”.

Your parents looked at each other as Fionn tried to calm down. You sat there nervous of what was to come.

“Well, if that’s how the two of you feel, you have our blessing”. Your father smiled at you, your face filled with shock and Fionn was frozen next to you.

“Are you serious?” You asked grabbing onto Fionns hand.

“Yes, we just want you to be happy” Alyssa said smiling at your father. Fionn grabbed your face, quickly kissing you from the joy that was coursing through him.

“You can finally be mine, always and Forever”.

“Always and forever”. You said smiling, your heart finally content.

#fionn blurb #fionn whitehead imagines #fionn imagines #fionn whitehead blurb #fionn smut #fionn whitehead smut

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mori-sketchbook · 7 years ago

Note

:333333 every one of those questions for both you and Andras.

sometimes meesh….. somtimes

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

closed! they are full length mirros

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

only when super tanned

(3) Can You Whistle?

nope *cries*

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

All Star, which i normally cant stand cuz it gets stuck in my head like no ones business but this was a surprisingly good cover

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

i usually default to maroon/burgundy but i think gold is inching into first place

(6) Relationship Status.

engaged

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

15′C but muggy as all hell

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

oh boy did i

(9) How Many Followers?

1,129

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Sagittarius

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

blue but with marbley grey

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

yes, but i should take more tbh

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

yeah but i never remember the words so just mumble along

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

Half Blood Prince audio book

fun(ish) fact, i was super into reading until the good ol’ depression killed my ability to read so i started listening to audio books recently as a part of my therapy and the harry potter series has a very clear ramp up in difficulty as they age so i figured it’d be a great way of working my way up again

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

There is one, and only one, advantage to somebody who cannot play the violin insisting on doing so anyway, and the advantage is that they often play so loudly that they cannot hear if the audience is having a conversation.

(16) Favourite Anime?

Shirokuma Cafe!

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Kaedian :’>

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

movie props!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

a little pizza~

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

i can barely sit in a car im so tall let alone dance

(21) Favourite Animal?

sometimes sharks, sometimes octopi, sometimes armadillos

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

opening cermonies and anything with beefy ladies *cough*

oh and archery!

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

aim for 11/12 but as for actually falling asleep…..

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

only a little, not been taking care of myself lately tbh

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

pool maybe? but id rather just sit and look at the ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

eh?? no real fave but Clients from Hell is always a good read

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

neither

(28) What Makes You Happy?

*stares into the camera*

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

if im taking stuff in, with music, if im writing stuff down, without

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

doggos but i do love cats too

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

some weird offshoot pastel grey

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

i guess playstation, i;ve owned a ps1/ps2/psp but no xbox

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

if we’re talking idyllic waterfall lagoon from some fantasy book then lake, if not then neither pls

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

grey NASA tee

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

no it confuses me how people have control over those muscles (ears too wtf)

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

i go through periods of saving then periods of spending

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

a lighter

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

i guess the history of Hyperion (Borderlands) and the departments in the Ministry (Harry Potter)

i tend to hyper focus one aspect rather than a franchise as a whole

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

only to save, leave them be pls

(42)Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

initially yeah but then those people quickly become an annoyance and everything they do annoys me

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

i have the blandest dreams ever as can be seen here

(44)Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

i dont dislike them but the longer the flight the more claustro i get

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Up, in the cinema, front row with my crying friends, you know the scene

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

sunflower seeds pls

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

it was a life goal to see David Bowie in concert :’

i guess either Pulp if they ever toured again or just whoever puts on the best show

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

ill try anything in a restaurant but at home with everyday meals i am put off by food a whole bunch

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

maybe??? its hell to get me to sleep but once im out i think i stay out pretty well

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

no i LOVE it

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

in theory…

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

pls no

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

pumpkins i guess but not by much

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Mariner’s Revenge - Decemberists

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

summerino

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

i can still taste that pizza so im good for the moment, it will be chocolate tho, its always chocolate

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

no that’s weird

(58) What Is Your Gender?

…..nope

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Coffee~

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

nothing official

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Pansexual/Polyamorous

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

not even a little :’>

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

(64) Favourite Social Media?

i tend to avoid it really, i dont wanna know what ur doing sorry

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

i dont even know what they are? if theyre the same as snapchat stories then??? theyre fine i guess

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

not so much homesick as “omg i need to get home im having a panic attack”

(67) Are You A Virgin?

nop

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

original source i think?? just get whatever

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Car for sure

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

nope

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

it was Atomic Blonde until i heard about all the queer baiting and shit, and i would’ve watched it regardless cuz kickass older woman beating people up but theres enough violence against queer people as it is

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

would you like to pick between, abusive ex number 1, abusive ex number 2, friend who we got together cuz we were being pressured by friends and realised we were just friends, ex who was obsessed with me and i didn’t feel anything for but you’re too young to realise that shit aint love, ex who was so torn up about his sexuality he seemed to genuinely fear admitting it or the ex who i never technically got together with but was in love with but had no idea how to go about it cuz “healthy” and “relationshop” where not two words that belonged in the same sentence according to past experience

honestly the best relationship i ever had before Kae was just a friend who was there for me after being abused and we fucked from time to time and there was no “going out” aspect to drag us down

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

shrug, never been one for quotes

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

green i guess?? gimmi unnatural contacts, they can be sexy, i never see a natural eye colour and think “i wanna bone that” tho

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

dont have a question about sexiness followed by a question about swinging and expect my brain not to go there

but yes swings are the best i love them

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

leetle pizza

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

WoW companion App is the closest to a game, D&D character sheet app too

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

wtf yes???

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

ask me if ive been OFF the computer for 5 hours straight

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

no i actively avoid most of those sites, tumblr is the closest but i tend to follow the art only blogs of people anyway

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

in theory???? but generally no

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

i do, always at least 2, a spinning ring for anxiety and a spiral copper band. will wear more if feeling fancy

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

bed is on a mezzanine but the other doors are clsoed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

walked the doggo, talked to landlord, avoided a withheld number who was ringing for like a solid 5 minutes leave me alone

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

i just take off my jeans and sleep in that

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

ughhh soap scrubs, face cream, sea salt hairspray, coconut oil…errr makeup/nail varnish i guess i dunno

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

is neither an option

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

*groans* n-no thats way too much effort

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

i dreamed a was in a shop (well.. it was a white void with a single shelf) and i picked up a mug and looked at it. that was it. the endand it was a couple months ago

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

hmmm cherry coke or fanta

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

audible ones

crunchy leaves are good? OMG wait no that echoing ice crack sound on massive lakes that stuff is the best

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

jeans

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

exhausted

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

if only i knew

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

hmmm ive considered my sigils but the act of marking them on my skin is a whole part of the process for me so maybe not, geometric stiff is my jam tho, i dont like “picture” tattoos

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

#long post #me

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imalloutofoptions · 5 years ago

Text

The Beginning of My Suicide Blog

My name is Z, I am 23, Female and live in Canada. In March of 2020, I plan on dying. I haven’t gotten all the logistics worked out but I’m working on it. I have recently moved from my home town to a new city in September of 2019. This was a mistake and has thus lunged me down the familiar path I’m on. But that’s another posts worth of story. For now lets start at the beginning.

I was born to an absent black father and my white mother in a small town of less than 40,000 people in rural Canada. I was raised by said mother (L), not by my father (V). My mother was a waitress and 35 years of age at my birth, my father about 50 and worked for the US military. I have a brother and a sister from my mother and another man, and two sisters and a brother from my father and other women. I know none of these siblings particularly well. My mother shortly after my birth separated from my father who was a bit of a fling after finding out about his cheating on her, creating my half brother. My sibling closest in age is my brother J, who was 15 years my senior. Soon after my arriving in the world, my sister became pregnant as a teenager and my brother started doing drugs, both leaving home before 19. Because of this I was mostly raised as an only child. My mother obsessed over me in an unhealthy way, as I was the only child that could not leave.

My father requested continuous visits to see me as I got older, wanted me to visit him and his new wife (C). This was fine as my own step father (F) was abusive to my mother and it frightened me. When I was 6 my father set up for me to go to stay with him in the southern United States with him and his wife over the summer holidays. It would be quite the plane ride but my mother allowed me to go. While there my father worked nearly every day, as well C, so I spent most of my days in summer camp. While there an older boy who was 13 continuously molested me, day after day for two weeks. At one point in the car when C was dropping me off for camp in the morning, I told her what was going on. C looked very frightened and said “Let’s not tell you father, lets keep this between us”. I knew then that was I was doing was wrong. What I didn't understand was that the real reason for C’s request was because my mother would be so angry at my father for allowing that to happen to me that it would disrupt C’s wonderful married life. The abuse continued until I was allowed to go home. My mother claimed I was never the same again. Where once I was cheerful and social, I became withdrawn and anxious. This has lasted my whole life.

Since then my mother and I had fallen into poverty. I received many an IOU for xmas. Constantly moving, struggling to make friends at new schools due to yet undiagnosed Autism, the years of 6-13 were particularly hard on me. I was bullied, I was lonely and I was unhappy. I remember very little of this time, it all blends together. Much of it was yelling from my mother, fighting between her and her new boyfriend. He called me lazy, and he hated me. My mothers hair grew grey, her teeth started falling out. I became embarrassed to bring her to school.

At 12 I faked a broken leg at track and field day for attention and an ambulance was nearly called. When my mother arrived to find me running around the field just fine, I was grounded, suspended from school and forced to attend child therapy. Promptly was I diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. The psychiatrist at the time refused to put it on paper as “there is no treatment and a child this age needs less labels to bind them”. I was ignored. I didn’t cry for attention any longer. I couldn't make my mother upset. My existence already made her life hard. At 12 again I was diagnosed by a school counselor with dyscalculia, giving reason for my struggle with mathematics.

I made some friends by 13 and life started looking up. Still anxious and depressed but better. Still could not look my self in the mirror without being physically nauseous, still could not have a shirt that showed any cleavage lest I become nauseous, cannot look a grown man in the eyes lest I hyperventilate and become nauseous. I grew hugely obese.

By high school things were different. There were things I was good at, like drama and horticulture. I made several new friends, two of these that last till today. Finally I was good at something. I still failed math twice, and got barely passing marks in everything else but I had made a plan to kill myself at 18 so it didn't matter. I had told my mom one night as a 14 year old that I didn't think I’d ever be able to make it as an adult and how I’d thought long and hard how I’d commit suicide at 18 so I wouldn't ever have to grow up. She said to me that, if that’s what I wanted to do then she would support me all the way. I kept this sentiment with me for a very long time.

At 16, my mother had a psychotic break just before Christmas. She began experiencing psychosis based visions. I came home from school one day and her and a family friend were in the living room around the “Christmas” tree, a branch sawed from a willow in the back yard erected in a cat litter tub, and my mother was crying profusely while the friend looked frightened. My mother claimed that by cutting down the branch she had take away the “fairies” home and she could see them jumping ship and dying. The friend looked worried at me but said nothing. I went to my room and closed my door.

It became worse. My mother started smoking marijuana in the house as well as cigarettes even though it hurt my lungs. She was up all hours of the night screaming and slamming doors. If i complained she would just tell me to stop being a baby. She became paranoid that I was going to abandon her when I went to a friends house one night when there was a power outage in our side of the city. The neighbours, her friends looked concerned and said nothing. My family knew what was going on and as usual, I was the black sheep, so they said nothing. During this time I restarted therapy as I had finally remembered my childhood camp trauma and was handling it poorly. I cried during class often, my grades failed more. I was left there for a year as her condition deteriorated. I still cannot stand slamming doors. Eventually she said that as we were being evicted, she had found herself a nice cabin in a near by port town and I was to find a place to live myself. And thus I was abandoned. At 17 I moved into my sisters basement.

18 came and gone, my first job, my second. I wasn’t supposed to make it this far. My third job I stayed at for nearly 5 years. I saved religiously to leave the backwater town I’d been born in. Full of hate, I couldn't stand it. As I had recently come out as gay, dating was nearly impossible when in our town but 21 if you haven't left you’re either pregnant or addicted to meth. I dreamed of leaving, I saved and saved and saved. I attended therapy, tried 3 medications, lost weight, gained weight. Finally I had enough saved to move.

Unfortunately since moving, I’ve broken my bicycle, needed a new mattresses and bed frame, my roommate moved her 3 person family in with their 6 year old, totaling 7 people in the house which means I have no kitchen access and few moments of shower access, and my job is run by the most awful business man possible. My rent is 800CAD for a room, and this was the cheapest I could find. Even if I could move, I have no more money, my hours have just been cut, my coworkers have banded together to tell me they don’t like me, my mother is homeless, I’m alone and my friends back home are tired of hearing me whine.

I’ve called the suicide hotline, like I’m supposed to.

I went to the hospital, like I’m supposed to.

I tried religion, like I’m supposed to.

I tried meds, like I’m supposed to.

I kept trying and trying, like I’m supposed to.

I’m so tired. I’ve suffered for 23 years. I have no money for further education, and I certainly am not smart enough. I just want to rest. I want to go home to my ‘parents’. I want parents. I want a mom. I want a family. I want to be ok. I’m so tired of paddling. I feel like only now have I realized there is no shore. There is nowhere to go. It does not get better. I have wasted my time. March, I will go home to my home town, re-home my cats, give away the last of my savings, see the gullies and the forests I played in as a child, and die. I’m all done. Life wins. It won. I’m so tired.

How long does a person have to continuously suffer before suicide is viewed as ok? Because at this point friends and family must be expecting it. Everyone knew better than I. They were right, I was wrong. I cant play poker with an empty hand. I wasn’t meant to thrive. My death would benefit everyone but me. A few more months and then I don’t have to be afraid anymore. I can rest. I can finally relax. Finally have that vacation I always wanted, just me forever.

#suicide

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woodyandarchless-blog · 6 years ago

Text

The biography of Lucy Woodwood

I was born November 19th. I was raised, if you could call it that, in a single parent family. You may be wondering what i mean by if you could call it that. My dad left a month before my 5th birthday. I’m guessing he had enough of my mothers behavior and attitude but at the time like most children that age I thought i had done something wrong. My mother, in name only as she never acted much like one, had not one but two substance abuse problems. Before my dad left she just used to drink though she was a mean drunk. I hated it when she was drunk she would shout and scream and throw things at my dad telling him how useless he was as a man how all men were the same. I would just lie there in my bed head under the cover crying wishing she would just stop. My dad wasn't useless he took me to the park, to the zoo, to doctors appointments. He was the one that cooked the meals, paid the bills, kept the house clean, yet still she would have a go at him for no reason. Like I said as a child I thought it was my fault that my dad had left I though I was to much for him to cope with, as I grew older though I realized it wasn't me it was her, after years of abuse he’d had enough and left. That's when my mother started to go out every night leaving me locked in the flat, that's when all the different men started to come around, and that's when she turned not only to drink but to drugs.

I was kind of lucky in away for all she wasn't there for me my grandparents only lived a couple of blocks away and so they did things with me now and again. My favorite memory from my childhood was when they took me to the coast. I was six years old and it was the first time I’d seen a beach and the ocean, I think my eyes must have nearly popped out of my head. I loved pops and ma and they were my only link to my dad though when I would ask them about him they would change the subject. It wasn't until they died I found out they hadn't heard from him after he left me mother and me. I guess he wanted a clean break.

After pops and ma died I was basically left to raise myself. My mother was always either to stoned or two drunk to even notice what was going on around her. The only time she seemed sober enough and clean enough to know anything was when she would go to get her money. Every week it was the same routine, get money, get whiskey, go home, get drunk, fall asleep. That's when I would go in her purse and take out enough money to pay the bills and buy food for us both and an extra $1 in a jar I kept hidden in my room. That was my freedom money as I called it, I knew one day I to would be like my dad and leave and knew I would need funds to make sure I could get as far away from her as possible. That's what my freedom money was, that was my hope of one day having a normal life whatever normal was.

As the years went by the roles were reversed. I basically became the parent, making sure the bills were paid, there was food on the table, the house was clean, she got to all her appointments on time and clean. I even got a part time job after school so there was extra money coming in so we could afford to pay the bills and still put a little away for myself. The different men were still coming in the house but I would always lock my door I didn't want to know who they were. When I was 15 however that changed. I was sat listening to some music when I heard my mother screaming. I ran out of my room and saw some guy hitting her because she wouldn't give him her purse. As much as I hated the woman I called mother I still wasn't about to stand there and let her get hit. Without thinking I jumped on his back and started hitting him only to get picked up like some old rag doll and thrown across the room. Fighting the pain as I heard my mother scream I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the largest sharpest knife I could and stuck it in his leg. He screamed so loud I thought my ear drubs were about to pop, the next thing I knew he was off my mum and backhanding me across the face before running out the flat. I instinctively jumped up and locked the door behind him before going to see if my mother was ok, only to get another backhander off her as she started to yell and scream at me for hurting a man she loved. After screaming back did she feel that way about all the dicks she had every night I ran and locked myself in my room and packed a bag determent to leave till I heard her crying in her room. I couldn't leave her like this she needed someone to look after her and if I didn't who would.

Four months had past and things seemed to get better my mother seemed to try and get clean. she had her relapses where she would get so drunk I’d have to put her to bed but less men were coming round and she even tried to make breakfast for me a couple of times. A couple of days after my 16th birthday I came home to find a cake on the table and a note from my mother “Gone to get candles happy birthday” I laughed at the fact she was a few days late but at the same time was so happy that she had remembered for the first time in god knows how many years. I decided while I was waiting to go have a bath to relax as work had stressed me out that day. As I was getting out and wrapping a towel around myself I heard the door open and went out with a smile thinking I would find my mother there with the candles for the cake. What I saw instead was my drunken mother in the arms of some guy who would make Freddy Kruger look like a model. I still to this day hear his words as I walked out the bathroom “Wow sweetness your hotter than your mother”. Skin crawling with disgust I went into my room slamming the door behind me and got ready for bed I never really thought anything about it. As I lay on my bed I could hear my mum and this guy laughing in her bedroom at which point I put my headphones on turned up the music and tried to go to sleep. I cant remember what time it was when I was woken by a sudden weight on top of me I felt like I couldn't breath and opening my eyes I saw the same disgusting guy naked leaning over me. I told him to get out and screamed for my mother as he tried to climb into my bed telling me he wanted to know if I was as good as her. I continued fighting and at one point felt a little relived when I saw my mother in the door way that soon faded when she smiled and walked off. Somehow I'm not sure how I managed to not only get out from under him but to get him out my room and quickly locked my door. As he was banging on my door I quickly got changed grabbed the bag I had packed months earlier and the money I had been saving and climbed out the window and down the fire escape. The fact my mother had seen one of male friends trying to rape her daughter and all she did was smile about it was the last straw i couldn't stay there anymore she could look after herself from that moment on. I not only left the flat but i also left New York and got as far away as i could making sure i had enough money to survive till i could find a job.

I ended up living in some quiet all be it sleazy little back water place, the only reason I was there the rent on the apartment I found was so cheep I could afford the two months in advance. The good thing about this place was it was only a couple of hours by bus to the ocean which is where I spent a lot of my time for the first couple of weeks, remembering the good times I had at the beach with pops and ma and trying to work out what I was going to do for money. Luckily for me on the outskirts of the town there was a bar that was hiring, and again luckily for me they didn't care about your age. As long as you knew your drinks, which thanks to living with an alcoholic for so many years I did, had a pretty face and were willing to dress sexy you were hired. I didn't really like the idea of dressing in low cut tops, mini skirts and heals while in a sleazy dive like that but it was necessary evil if I wanted the job, and unfortunately I needed a job to be able to survive. The guys who came into this bar reminded me of the guys that my mother had brought home every night, ugly, drunk and only after one thing. The boss was worse than the customers at times he was an ugly smelly fat slob who delighted in rubbing against you as he walked past even if there was plenty of spare to get past he would still rub up against you and all I could really do about it was force a smile and continue with what I was doing. I couldn't afford to loss the job.

As the months went past and I proved to the boss that not only to know my drinks but how to handle the customers, not only the sober ones who had little regard for manners but also the drunk ones, he seemed to relax the dress code a little my skirts got longer and my heals smaller and he never said a thing. even though I was showing less every night the first thing I would do when I got home was climb in the shower and scrub that place off me followed by food and then if I had a really bad day I would curl up on the bed and cry myself to sleep. I soon got to know most of the regulars in the bar including a woman called Stacey. she would normally come in with her husband but there was the odd time she came in alone and when she did we would sometimes stand and talk when things were slow. We got to become good friends and would go shopping together and all sorts, it was nice to have someone I could have a laugh with and talk to. She would come round mine sometimes when her husband was away and I had a night off and we would talk about her marriage. I guess you could say it was through her I found out I seem to have a gift of being able to help people with there problems. Because I helped her out with a few she told others how good I was and soon while I was serving the customers at the bar they would start to ask my advice on different things. As much as I hated the bar, my job at that point I started to like a little more and even enjoy. I wasn't having to rush home every night to wash the smell of the place off me and some times would even stay back for a drink and a chat with the owner and a couple of the other girls who worked there. I was beginning to feel like this place was home.

The night before my eighteenth Stacy and a couple of the other girls from town decided to throw me a surprise party at the bar. I was so shocked when I walked in that night for work and saw streamers and balloons and banners all I could do was cry with joy I felt at last I belonged somewhere and that people did care what happened to me. I guess you could say I felt loved for the first time in a long time. Later that night the good mood and atmosphere that was surrounding me altered when Stacey's husband come in and started calling her all sorts just because we were dancing and having a laugh. Grabbing her by her hair he started to drag her out of the bar and I followed trying to tell him she hadn't done anything wrong and that he should just back off go home and calm down. After pushing Stacey in the passenger side of the car he went to go round to the drivers side and I stepped in front of him pleading with him to just let my friend go because she hadn't done anything. All I got in reply was a punch to the face at which point I don't remember much. I was laid on the floor and some guy came running across and started fighting with Stacey's husband, she while that was going on had got out the car and came to see if I was ok. It didn't take long for this other guy to knock Stacey's husband almost out cold then he helped her to get me up and they took me home where I fell straight to asleep.

When I woke up, Stacey was asleep on the bed beside me and the guy who had come to our rescue was asleep on the sofa. I slowly got up wincing in pain and made my way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror I could see I had a lovely big black eye which was swollen shut. As I came out the bathroom the guy woke up and introduced himself. He said his name was Wesley and that he had been watching me for awhile and had been waiting for the right moment to ask me out as he thought I looked pretty and that I was a sweet girl. I half smiled thanked him and answered that with the nice black eye I didn't look so pretty. He at that point kissed me and said yes I was and that he wanted to take me to dinner that night black eye and all as a birthday treat. I was in shock that anyone felt like that and agreed to go for all I didn't know him, after all he had just saved me as far as I was concerned that made him an alright person.

That night Stacey helped me to get ready and to hide the black eye as much as possible. I’d just finished getting ready when Wesley knocked on the door. When i opened it there he was stood in a suit with a bunch of flowers, i handed the flowers to Stacey and we left. As we were driving i asked where he was taking me and he said somewhere special then pulled over on some back road. I asked why we had stopped and he said because he’d been wanting to do something ever since i got in the car he then lent over and kissed me. As the kisses got more passionate his hands started to wonder and i asked him to stop, telling him that i hadn't been with anyone before and didn't really want my first time to be in a car. All he did was smile and say “virgin huh”. The next thing i knew the seat belt was undone, the door locked and my seat went back and he was on top of me. At that point everything seemed to be in slow motion and silent, i was screaming but i couldn't hear it, i was hitting, biting, scratching but nothing seemed to stop him and he was to dam strong for me to push off. When he finally finished he sat back in his seat smiling and suggested we now went to dinner. I just laid there numb, unable to move. When he eased me up so he could put the seat upright so he could drive us to dinner I unlocked the door and ran. Finding a hole in the fence a little ways down the road and around a corner from the car I dived through it and hid behind the trees not sure if he was following me or not. It wasn't long before I saw his car go slowly past as he looked out both ways. I stayed where I was for what seemed like hours before daring to move and make my way home. When I did get near to my apartment I looked in the parking lot first to make sure his car wasn't there when I saw it wasn't I ran up to my room and locked the door behind me relived that Stacey had seemingly gone home. I quickly ran a hot bath and climbed in. I didn't care the water felt like it was burning me and I started scrubbing I didn't care about the red marks I was leaving all over my body because I was scrubbing so hard I had to get clean I needed to get clean I needed him off me.

I stayed locked in my apartment for about five days not answering the phone or the door to anyone. constantly climbing in the bath trying to get clean. after about the fifth day I had nothing in my apartment to eat or drink so I knew I had to go outside even though I didn't want to. Dressing in old baggy clothing I grabbed my purse and slowly made my way out, not bothering to do my makeup or hair. the worse I looked the better no guy would want to be near me and I liked that idea. As I approached the shops I froze. There coming out of the shop was Wesley only he wasn't alone he had his arm around a girl and was kissing her. My skin began to crawl and my blood boil not only from seeing him but from the fact I knew the girl was only fourteen. I decided I had to follow them and as I did I rang the local sheriffs office knowing that they would come straight out as the girl in question was the niece of there Sargent. With no answer I left a voice mail message for them saying that they had turned into a wood and that I was following. After I hung up I had lost sight of them but went in anyway I wasn't going to let him hurt someone else. As I was wandering in I heard her scream, seeing him on top of her trying to do to her what he had done to me I saw red and picked up a large stone with both hands and hit his head as hard as I could before grabbing the girl by the hands and running out of the wood with her constantly repeating that everything was going to be ok everything was going to be alright. Looking back I’m not sure if I was trying to convince her or me of that fact. Just as we left the wood two police cars showed up I told then what I’d done and where he was. One of them went running to where he was while another called for an ambulance. me and the girl sat in the back of one of the police cars and waited. We watched as the the guys from the ambulance went rushing in and stretchered him out.

Once he was out the officers drove us to the station for our statements. I told them everything except the fact that he had done it to me, instead when they asked why I had followed him I said because I heard he had a reputation for hurting young girls and didn't want to see her get hurt. That's when they told me that he was wanted in connection to other similar incidences and not to worry what I did would be seen as self defense. I was sat numb, emotionless I could see the officer talking but I couldn't hear him. My mind was racing I started to wonder if I would have been better off staying at home with my mother. I snapped out of the trance when another officer came in and said that it was touch and go as to if he would make it. The officers finished taking my statement and let me go. The uncle of the girl was the officer who gave me a ride home. thanking me for saving his niece and said I did what I had to do as he had a knife at the girls throat if anyone asked I had to remember to say I did what I had to do he had a knife at her throat he made me repeat it twice to him before I got out the car. A couple of days later I found out he had died the police told me that there wasn't enough evidence to charge me so I was free to go, and go I did. I packed up all I could and moved once more this time to Las Vegas.

It was the complete opposite of where I had been no one wanted to know my name, no one even seemed to want to say hello and I liked that fact. I wasn't about to make the same mistakes again. This time no one would get near my heart however at that point I lost myself to. I hit the bottle hard everyday. I lost both my jobs but I didn't care, all I cared about was the alcohol, it wasn't going to hurt me, or leave me it was my best friend it was the only friend I needed.

About three moths had past and I woke up one morning beside some guy I had never seen before and went to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror what I saw shocked me. No longer was I looking at my own reflection instead what I saw was my mother looking back at me. The realization that I was becoming her frightened me into cleaning up my act.

It was at this point in my life things changed dramatically. I remember the very little of the night. I was sat silently sobbing on a park bench in the rain I felt like there was no hope for me when a couple of males approached me. When I had seen them walking towards me I felt that the worst was going to happen, but I was fine with that as I felt my life was already over. But as they got near one of them sat beside me and asked me what was wrong. I couldn't answer I had no idea where to begin or even if I should begin with not knowing them. The next thing I remember I was sat in a living room with my brothers my mind a little confused as to how I had got to where I was and what I had been doing before hand but my brothers told me not to worry about it as it wasn't important.

I spent several weeks with all three of my brothers and loved every moment of it but then Graham had to return to England leaving me with alone with just Elijah and Klaus. I spend several happy months under their roof but eventually once more I felt it was time to move on. The difference between this time and all the other times I had kept moving, was all the baggage I had carried with me through out my life felt.. lighter and I felt happier, however I still would never stay in one place for longer than four or five months. I found jobs working as an advice columnist for different papers normally just filling in while there proper advice columnist were on holiday or ill. Luckily it gave me enough money to be able to pay rent and buy food I didn't need anything else. I never let anyone in I kept them all out. I built large walls around me that would stop them all from getting in. The constant moving from place to place helped me to make sure no one got in as I was never in one place long enough to make friends.

Then March 2007 I moved back to New York and got a job working at one of the papers when I saw one of my old school friends worked there also. When I saw her I was shocked to see she was covered in bruises so I dragged her into the ladies room and forced her to tell me what was going on. She told me that the man she moved in with did this to her at which point I told her she had to get out of the relationship. She told me she had nowhere to go no one to turn to. Looking in her eyes I saw the frightened little girl I used to be and told her she did now, she was moving in with me and I was going to help her. Later that day we went to hers and packed up her things and moved them all back to mine. It felt kind of strange letting someone in but she was an old friend and needed my help. It was the least I could do for her as she and her family had been so kind to me as I was growing up. I helped her find her own place get a great job and we even found her a great guy who has been warned that if I ever hear that he has hurt her I will track him down and make him pay for it.

Once she was fully settled and happy I started to look once more for a new job and ended up finding one in Arizona, met a man, got engaged but unfortunately due to his work we had to part. I lived quite happily for awhile even after my job finished, and the man I had loved had left. I had managed to find a place I thought of as home, not that I spent a lot of time there as I spend most of my time at the home of my brothers, but eventually the lack of having things to do, despite the fact running after Klausy at times kept me busy, and the heartaches I had felt from letting people in only to lose them began to make me yearn for another new beginning and luckily for me I got one with my other brother.

Now here I am in England working for the vampire king of Britain, my brother Graham. It has given me a fresh new start in a brand new place which was exactly what I needed and i am loving every moment of not only my work but being able to spend more time with my brother.

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shinozaki-ayumi · 7 years ago

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Please answer all the things from the ask thing I can't decide what I want to know most :'''(

omg thats ok!! this’ll be a long one then lol

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

its my boyfriend, so i’d probably be just like… “oh hey, that’s cool”

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

he’s my boyfriend lol

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

yeah mostly because i don’t want to associate myself with it and i’d also just be really concerned about their health too? like weed isn’t bad but anything else is a no

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

nope. exactly 6

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober bc i don’t drink lol

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

the only person i’ve ever had a crush on is my current and only boyfriend so no

7. What does your last received text say?

“pack up your stuff”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

too many times over the past three years to even begin to count

9. Where was your last kiss at?

about 20 mins ago at my boyfriend’s front door

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

i don’t have a sister, but i have a brother and i saw him 2 minutes ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

tea or milk

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my own bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

not really because if you are really meant to be with someone you both will put in the effort to make sure you are respectful of each other. i do think it’s probably difficult to find a partner though, especially in high school bc those almost never last.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

not really honestly lol. this year has been pretty decent.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

nope. it would prooobably be pretty awesome actually

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy! i love rain so much. it’s so relaxing to listen to and watch.

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

no. my middle name is Jean, so i don’t know many people with that as a middle name. i don’t think it’s very popular.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

pajama pants :D

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

hell yes. my boyfriend and i have been together for three years already and are more stable and loving than we ever have.

20. Does anyone like you?

not at the moment i don’t think, but i have known about several guys who have liked me. aside from the current bf, they were all… gross….

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

my boyfriend’s name is Stefan lol

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

nope, he’s straight as can be

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

SO MANY. SO SO MANY.

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

absolutely! i want something simple (like a triforce or something) on my wrist or ankle.

25. In the past week have you cried?

this morning lmao

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

mutt/mix/hunting dog thing. idk what she is. her name is hazel and she is my boyfriend’s dog.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

mix of both? lol

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

no none of the football players at my school are even remotely attractive to me

29. Do you think you’re old?

…im 16, so no

30. Do you like text messaging?

it’s ok. but honestly, in comparison to the past few years, i just prefer talking in person or on skype

31. What type of day are you having?

GARBAGE but its ok because its getting better as it goes :)

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

no… the only piercings i want are more ear piercings.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold. like, mid fall weather.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

i would literally die to save my boyfriend from suffering

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship; flings/one-time things are not appealing to me. i like friendship and emotional bonding.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

complicated, but i don’t think anyone is really “simple.”

37. What song are you listening to?

none, my computer just decided to turn volume up to 100% for some reason without me pressing the buttons and now my ears are ringing. nice.

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

depends who i’m talking to and whether or not they deserve it39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

a girl? ya, but only one. i only have a few female friends. most of my friends are boys lol40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

i had a dream that they were sleeping in my room and the next day at school i almost threw up when i saw them. good times.41. When did you last receive a text message?

about an hour ago42. What is wrong with you right now?

TOO. MUCH. HOMEWORK. 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

she’s my mom, so pretty well i think lol44. Does anyone disgust you?

a variety of people. pro-life people especially disgust me. also any religious zealots and closed-minded people in general. 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no, way too dedicated to my actual boyfriend.46. Are you in a good mood right now?

i’ve been better but my current mood is far better than my mood yesterday/this morning!!47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my mom48. What color shirt are you wearing?

black49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yeah… it’s pretty personal though. not gonna talk about it.50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

not currently but in the past year or two, many people51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

not in the slightest

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

not sure if this means in a relationship or not but platonically yes. that friendship ended in far shittier ways though, so sometimes i sort of regret it. don’t think it could’ve ended any other way though.53. Do you like rain?

I LOVE RAIN 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

yeah because if they are a huge party animal who wants to drink all the time and loves being drunk all the time i am NOT compatible with them. casually drinking once in a while would probably be fine though.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

the only person i’ve ever liked is fully aware that i like him lol56. Do you like to cuddle?

YES. SO MUCH. I LIVE ON CUDDLES.57. Are you shy?

yeah but i’m growing out of it a bit!!!58. Do you get along with girls?

not really59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

currently dating60. What do you carry with you at all times?

phone, pencils, sketchbook61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

I’D DO IT FOR FREE 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

it’s been three years in my current one, so yes lol63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

you all know the answer to this64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

yes i love when he does this. its gentle and reassuring65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

idk. not cute, but i had some nice moments with my bf. mostly just laying on my bed and talking about “deep” stuff while playing fire emblem

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

theres only been one and he’s 17

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

do them myself but i haven’t done my nails in years 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

can i say neither69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

i dont have a car but my family does not70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

….can i say neither? 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?

iPhone 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

ages ago because my town’s only Pizza Hut closed years ago 73. Do you like diet soda?

no those cancer-inducing chemicals can stay 5000000 miles away from my body74. What color are the walls in your room?

dark yellow-y tan 75. Are you 16 or older?

i’m 1676. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

no, tried, not a fan 77. Do you have a job?

no and i am dreading it. i’d like to take commissions instead lol

78. What are your initials?

EJC 79. Did you ever have braces?

yes and they are long gone. i am grateful80. Are you from the south?

nope, upstate New York! best state

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

i don’t use facebook82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

lol 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

my mom84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

neither 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

i genuinely do not remember. i think Rogue One 86. Do you smoke?

HELL no 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

flip flops88. Is your phone touch screen?

yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

straight90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

no91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

pool 92. Have you ever made out in a car?

yes93. …Had sex in a car?

no lol 94. Are you single or in a relationship?

in a relationship 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

sleeping

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

fourth of july on Saratoga Lake 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

its much better than my last one, but still not the best. i have a 5s 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

nope 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

never drank 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

not on facebook, but on instagram yes 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

yes even though it was 99.9% irrational. i’m tokophobic lol. thank god for the pill 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:

i cant even name one 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

HAHAHAHAHAHA i’m of british and german descent (aka about as white as they can come) so my skin burns, never tans 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

absolutely not

#oof that took a while lol #sorry if im boring but thanks for the ask!#emma talks #Anonymous

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