#show and for them to kind of cut half its...tolerated

[kstarlitchaotics]

Done with the first episode as a long time fan speaking honestly it was ... interesting

But as a long time fan I will say it's a bit better than the forbidden movie

[izvmimi]

malevolent enterprise ch. 1

cw: ceo!au. sukuna and yuuji are siblings. drug use. header by @/cafekitsune! a/n: background to a series of oneshots. masterlist

Exactly two unexpected things occur exactly one week to the hour of Wasuke Itadori’s death - 1. Yuuji Itadori, second grandson from his only son Jin Itadori, inherits all of Itadori Enterprises and its subsidiaries and 2. Yuuji’s older brother and lifetime antagonist Sukuna formally changes his name to Ryomen, and establishes Ryomen Industries.

Yuuji, in moments, is saddled with the grand title of C.E.O., and Sukuna, if he didn’t have enough reasons to dislike his kind, caring younger brother, has finally added yet another one to the list. This part doesn’t particularly bother him, after all, even Yuuji has to admit, no matter how much he has tried to love his brother over the years, Sukuna is fundamentally a piece of shit. 

And that’s exactly why he’s the perfect choice for the job.

Yuuji sighs and takes another piece of sushi off of the left flank of the poor girl who’s been laid prone and nearly naked on the table for most of the evening. He’d ask her if her shift was coming to an end soon but even he had to admit it felt weird asking about the work conditions to a girl who was meant to be a prop at an event that was theoretically in his honor. The salmon is exactly the right temperature and feel in his mouth and he can’t ask for more. He offers her a thumbs up as he walks past her which has her somewhat confused, then makes his way back to the lounge chairs.

Sukuna by now has stopped schmoozing all the other industry leaders in the room and now contents himself with four giggling floozies in his lap, his practically blood-red eyes glowing in the neon club lighting as he smirks at him. Yuuji gives him an exasperated look but finds a seat far away alone. He’s actually not sure why he’s still here - the new personal assistant that was assigned to him is already sending emails from the interim chief that he still doesn’t understand and Sukuna’s already told half of the attendees he expects him to run Grandpa’s business into the ground. A few girls venture in his direction, one of which Yuuji has to admit is pretty enough to make his cheeks warm (if it’s not his last three beers finally kicking in) but Sukuna’s already whistled and called them over by the time the first girl opens her mouth to introduce herself.

“I’ve got plenty of arm space to spare!” he practically cackles, and the last girl, the pretty one, takes a last look at Yuuji before apologetically sauntering over to his brother for attention. Sukuna and another young CEO, who Sukuna cruelly trash-talked just less than a month ago, take shots off of another woman’s chest, and Sukuna finishes off the theatrics with a line of coke down her abdomen. 

Yuuji rolls his eyes, but before he can get up and finally convince himself to leave rather than tolerate his brother’s antics, another body slides into the booth next to him, bumping him on the shoulder.

“New CEO!” 

Indoor sunglasses cover the young man’s eyes and before Yuuji can smile and embrace him, Satoru Gojo has him practically in a headlock mussing up his hair. 

“Oi! Stop!” Yuuji hisses, embarrassed to be treated like a kid, especially in the presence of his older brother already trying to force him back into the shadows. Yuuji recollects himself, adjusting the lapel of his shirt but Satoru frowns.

“I’m shocked you made it,” Yuuji says. He’s delighted to see his family friend, just as odd and eccentric as Sukuna can be but with less of the dickish behavior.

Somewhat. 

"I mean hopping on my jet, cutting my vacation short-” Satoru stops and sighs, stretching out his long limbs as he leans deeper into the soft cushions, “but of course I’d show up to congratulate you.” Gojo sits up suddenly, leaning in, and Yuuji doesn’t ask himself how he can see through those. 

“So are you gonna compete with me now? Throw me out of the market?”

Yuuji grins. “I don’t think you’re touchable in all honesty, but even if you were,  I think we can both agree to be successful.”

Gojo is satisfied with this answer. Clinking his beer bottle on Yuuji’s forehead, a move that genuinely throws him off guard, Gojo downs the rest of the bottle then turns, winking at a girl in Sukuna’s court, and when she nearly rises, Sukuna gives him a practically glowing red glare. 

Gojo laughs, then turns back to Yuuji who snorts.

“I think there are enough girls to spare, Aniki,” Yuuji teases. He leans in, draping his arm over his senpai’s shoulder. “After all, I’m pretty sure Sukuna’s laywer friend is here, just waiting for you to get on her nerves.”

Gojo laughs. “She hates my guts but I know she wants me in hers.”

Yuuji sips on the beer he’d set aside, not bothering to make an additional comment, remembering the last time he mentioned the redhead to him, he’d spent nearly thirty minutes just talking about her tits. Despite this, the same man could easily be found in numerous news articles with a number of different women, so he couldn’t actually be sure of the depth of his interest, but Yuuji had the feeling that Gojo felt a little differently about her. 

A sideways glance makes it clear that Satoru is already scanning the room, to see if she’s still here amongst the throng of people. Yuuji watches Sukuna who seems to have chased away the extra floozies and now sits with one girl straddling him, his own hand suspiciously low down the curve of his ass, and the other licking and whispering into his ear, something that looks vaguely doglike. Yuuji frowns and looks away, but Gojo has already risen, his own instincts prompting him to find someone to go home with. 

But before he can go off and get really wasted, Yuuji realizes he has a serious question for the more experienced corporate bigwig before he calls it a night.

“Aniki.”

Gojo’s head turns to him, a drunken half-smile on his face.

“Ne?”

“It’s a work question,” Yuuji answers with a tinge of discomfort. Asking for help is embarrassing at this stage, but Gojo is the only one who doesn’t judge him, rather helps even if it’s in a way that seems ridiculous, like some kind of flippant genius.

Gojo frowns.

“Fine, but you have to promise to have a good time.” 

With that, Gojo starts to sway with the music, and with the great length of his body and limbs, dressed in all black from head to toe, Yuuji is briefly reminded of bamboo gently swaying in the wind. He stifles a laugh before rendering himself serious again. 

“You’ll call me a dumbass but I have a new vacancy that’s sort of high up and I’m trying to figure out who to hire.”

The lenses obscuring Gojo’s eyes don’t help Yuuji gauge his thoughts but Gojo is still dancing so Yuuji continues talking.

“I want someone from the outside. Someone who didn’t know my grandpa or Sukuna. Any recommendations where I should start looking?”

Gojo does a full body roll, then stops. 

“I’ll send you an application tomorrow. Now loosen the fuck up.”

Yuuji blinks, then starts the two-step of a man who is under too much stress but not drunk enough.

“Okay.”

[genlossneg]

Okay so like. I didn’t have any interest in this, my boyfriend did. He’s been talking about it since the first streams, all of the stuff in it he finds cool, and how novel it is as a piece of media. He loves it, he’s dropped a lot of money on merch for it (which to be fair, the merch looks sick as hell I’m not even gonna lie), and he really wanted me to watch the founder’s cut when it came out. Well, I watched the founder’s cut and I just gotta say. It’s awful. I was so unbelievably bored, and when I wasn’t bored I was annoyed. Honestly I think the worst part for me is Slimecicle. He is remarkably unfunny, annoying, and obnoxious, and if his absolutely piss poor excuse for comedy was completely surgically removed (haha see what I did there?) it would make it a lot easier to tolerate all of the other badly done elements of it. Pretty much none of the attempted humor was funny to me. Maybe if I liked the streamers already I would have found it really funny, but I maybe exhaled out of my nostrils like 2 times total. I’m not sure what the consensus is with the Gen loss community about its humor but it did not hit for me in the slightest.

It feels like little of importance was happening for 65% of the runtime, the acting is terrible, the pacing is bad, and it’s just. It’s not even remotely good until the last like 45 minutes of the cut. I just could not bring myself to care, it felt like a constant barrage of “this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened.” Over and over. It wasn’t scary at any point, and I still, even after managing to just BARELY sit through the entire thing, don’t understand how so much money and effort went into this if this was the end product. I was not familiar with any of these streamers besides Jerma and Vinny Vinesauce, which the Founder’s Cut does woefully little with, so I had absolutely no connection to any of the characters. If there was some effort made to actually get me invested in who the characters are maybe I would have felt more positively towards it but it feels like I’m supposed to go “HOLY SHIT A STREAMER I LIKE OH MY GOD”, which might have worked if I was at all into ANY of the people here. It felt like there were no stakes and nobody was taking anything seriously until the last “act” or whatever when they’re running around the mall. I see what it’s going for, I can read into the metaphor about the dehumanizing nature of producing content for an audience and stuff, but just wow. The worst part is that I was just so bored the entire time. It feels like a “you had to be there” kind of thing, and since I wasn’t there, none of it appealed to me in any way.

I don’t know, this clearly isn’t a piece of media made for me but I spent the entire time I was watching TRYING to like it and it just was not it. Ever. At any point. The ending was okay I guess, I like it conceptually, but having Hetch (I think that’s his name, I don’t really recall and I’m not scrolling through the cut to check rn) trying to be a glorified game show host over the only bit of the end I kinda vaguely enjoyed kind of ruined it for me a little bit. Idk. Having Ranboo say “thank you” as his head was turned into a mid at best blood effect was the only bit that made me feel much of anything besides annoyance or boredom. I like the whole concept, but pretty much every part of the execution was horrifically botched, I feel like I shouldn’t have to like the people involved already to be invested in even one of the characters. Maybe the streams were better but I just don’t have any desire to watch them.

Maybe I’m being too mean here but yeah, I basically forced myself through 2 and a half hours of some of the most amateurish “horror” content I’ve ever seen and it felt like I got very little out of the entire viewing experience besides 45 minutes of content that got dangerously close to being okay at best.

this has been sitting in my inbox since the founders cut came out and i was going to respond to it once i watched it but clearly that is not happening anytime soon, so i can't speak to that specific experience but i definitely think watching it live added to the experience at least a little since the audience had a lot of chances to make decisions which kept it at least a little engaging. im not shocked the founders cut is super jumpy because they condensed a lot and the filler, while annoying, did keep the pace reasonable. i agree w a lot of your overall critiques and thanks for sharing a founder's cut take!!!

[anestofocs]

Muse Profile: Yuki Kiyori

"Demon that mocks the world.."

Basic Details:

Name: Ayato “Yuki” Kiyori-Lee 

Age: 22

Title: The Mocking Demon

Nicknames/Designations: AN-05,Little fox, Yuks. Fighting Style: “Way of Haven”, a street brawling style based off of kickboxing and combat sambo.

Occupation: Club Owner/Sexworker

Likes: Booze, underground fighting, collecting homemade Ceramic artworks, His gang, Sergei Dragunov, Devil Jin, Jin Kazama. 

Dislikes: Corruption, injustice, Breaking his jewellery. Oppressor, the adoptive parents before Chaolan and Safiya.

Appearance Details:

Height: 5,5ft

Weight: 51.7kg

Hair colour: Pink (Naturally dark brown)

Eye colour: Green

Gender: Male (trans

Country of origin: Japan

Ethnicity: Irish-Japanese.

Nationality: Japan, Bahamas

Faith: Agnostic 

Deeper Details:

Family:

Hayato Kiyori: Biological Father

Nina Willams: Biological Mother

Safiya Kiyori: Adoptive Mother

Lee Chaolan: Adoptive/Foster Father

Ameila Sehwa Park Lee: Step Mother

Anna Williams: Aunt

Steve Fox: Half brother

Ayame "Crow" Kiyori: Half Sister

Lee Ai Jian: Adoptive/Foster Sister 

Lyla Soyeon Park Lee: Step Sister

Personality:

On the outside, Yuki is the picture of a hedonistic, carefree punk. Flirty, sarcastic and cynical. With high tolerance for booze and seeking the pleasures and highs of life. But get to know Yuki for even a few minutes and you'll find a deeply empathic and compassionate young man. Yuki is someone who cannot stand to sit idly while others suffer. Even his nightclub is simply a stepping stone in creating a safe haven for those abandoned by their family and community.

Deeper still however, is a traumatised and sometimes ruthless man who will do anything to protect those he loves.

Bio:

A street wise man who runs a club named Devil's Haven from the outside, Yuki is just another of the working class. But to the underground of his home city Yuki is known as The mocking demon, An information broker and gang leader who uses his influence to protect those who society forgets and his skills as an Assassin to remove threats to the opressed.To those under his protection Yuki is a hero, to his enemies a ruthless horror.

It all started with how he was born..Or rather created. A test tube baby, born inside one of the Mishima Zaibatsu's medical facilities, Yuki was just one of many children created for its failed, artificial devil gene empowered, super soldier program. Experimentation was all Yuki knew. With only two of the scientists ever showing him kindness. Doctor Emma Kliesen and Doctor Ameila Carey. Who gave him, at the time, an assigned female at birth child. a name, Eliza.

When Yuki was 8 years old, Ameila sacrificed her life to save Yuki. From there he was placed in an orphanage. But shady dealings behind the laye doctor's back resulted in him being adopted unusually quickly to an Irish couple. Who wanted to mould him into an obedient assassin. He lived with them until the age of fourteen. Were upon him coming out as transgender. He was thrown out onto the streets. At 15 a failed pickpocket attempt ended up with Yuki being fostered by Chaolan Lee. The violet labs owner seeing himself in Yuki. From that point on. Yuki was raised alongside Ai Jian, Lee's adoptive daughter. Once old enough, Yuki began studying at a University in Russia, both as a desire to learn and to hide him from both the Zaibatsu and the creature known as Ogre. It's here that he met Sergei Dragunov, before he was known as the white angel of death. The two have an on and off again relationship. 

When 19 Yuki learnt of his biological father, Hayato Kiyori. Their reunion cut short when Hayato seemingly died to save Yuki and his half sister, Ayame from the Tekken Force after Ayame had refused to take part in a despicable order. With Ayame hiding in Italy. Yuki connected with her mother and Hayato's love. Safiya. More so when she saved his life after a betrayal and aided him through the drug and drink abuse that followed.

When the war hit. Yuki acted as first one of his father Chaolan's many spies, then a supply runner and sniper for Yggdrasil. 

Now that the war has ended. Yuki lives with Sergei and the rest of his family. Enjoying the peace and taking the time to recover from traumas that he could finally talk about openly.

[idkjustletmescroll]

My thoughts on the Eternals SPOILERS

Two years late, I finally got around to watching Marvels “Eternals.” And I obviously have to write a ridiculously long tumblr post on what I thought about it.

I think something that made me appreciate it a lot more on a rewatch was realizing that this was never supposed to be a standard Marvel movie. My first watch had me complaining that more than half the film was spent getting the gang back together, instead of on cool action scenes. But “Eternals” isn’t an action movie at all, though its actions scenes are great. It’s a film about family.

Second: let’s discuss the characters, who are at the heart of this story.

I don’t agree that every character was completely underdeveloped. They all have very distinct personalities, for starters: Ajak, the mom of the group; Ikaris, the little bitch--sorry, I mean PERFECT SOLDIER--Sersi, the goody-two-shoes; Phastos, the smart one; Druig, the hangry one; Makkari, our fave speedster/hoarder; Sprite, the sarcastic one; Gilgamesh, the lovable giant; Thena, the badass-who-still-struggles-with-mental-health, the quiet but strong type; and Kingo, the funny one who loves his family and is SUPER extra, as befits a Bollywood star. HOWEVER, they definitely needed more than a 3-hour movie to develop them.

For example: Why was Ajak the Prime Eternal? Her power is healing, not fighting. While I liked that deviation from traditional superhero roles, why did Arishem choose HER instead of, say, Ikaris to remember their past lifetimes and lead the team? I love Ajak a lot more than Ikaris and she seemed to actually be a great leader. I just want to figure out Arishem’s motivation.

And speaking of Ikaris, WHY was he so devoted? The others got the whole “duty, no interfering with humans” spiel from Ajak, but they still have critical thinking skills. Why was Ikaris so ready to turn against the people he considered family and kill a leader he seemed to genuinely respect and love as a mother figure? Why did he leave Sersi? Why was everyone so happy to fight him at the end? Like, Ikaris is annoying as shit (this post is not Ikaris-stan-friendly, I’m sorry), but the movie’s whole thing is family??? But...they all wanted to kill the one guy who turns out to be a villain at the end? Thena already seemed a little annoyed with him in Babylon at the beginning of the movie, but how about a few glimpses of the others getting annoyed with his know-it-all-ism?

Sersi. Sersi, Sersi, Sersi. I wanted to love you so bad. My main problem with Sersi, after careful consideration of why i found her character annoying, really isn’t that she’s softer than say, Thena, or cries more than Makkari; it’s that it feels like she doesn’t really have...more than three emotions? Happy, confused, and sad. For example, when Ikarkis reveals that he’s killed Ajak, she kind of just cries until he goes away. She looks at him kind of sadly when he’s defeated and flies into the sun. How about some anger through those tears? Let her cry and stuff for her ex-husband of 500 years. But show me that she can have “uglier” moments, too. I did love that they showed her moving on with Dane, though. We love a gal who knows her worth. I also would’ve loved to see her standoffish from Ikaris when he comes back. The guy abandoned her with seemingly no explanation 500 years ago. Keep him several arms’ lengths away, girl.

No notes on Druig. I love him so much. I’ve been converted into a Barry Keoghan stan and I have no regrets.

Makkari I felt like was also pretty cool. We know she’s a speedster, a hoarder, the only person Druig can tolerate for more than thirty seconds at a time, is generally the cheery one, but also has her dark side, like (rightfully) trying AND ALMOST SUCCEEDING to kill Ikaris after he almost kills Druig. My only criticism is that the deleted scene of her talking to Sprite was cut! Like, that was so good! More on that in the Sprite section, but we get a bit of Makkari’s motivations for wanting to stop the Emergence.

Phastos was also cool. I feel like we got what we needed to know about him--the dangers of technology and how it’s used, how he regained his faith in humanity, etc.--but not really his relationship with the other Eternals. That’s actually something that could’ve been improved on in general. They all really feel like a family, but there’s not much in the way of their individual relationships (Makkari and Sprite, Phastos and Druig, Ikaris and Gilgamesh...)

Sprite’s thing about being in love with Ikaris was stupid and cringey. Her conflict about not being able to grow up and experience what she wants is a lot more interesting, but for some reason, they decided not to explore that! It should’ve been her ultimate motivation and set up from the start of the movie. Her deleted scene with Makkari has her talking about how Babylon was their only real home on this planet, again setting up how Sprite’s never really fit in here.

Gilgamesh didn’t last long (*Sob*), but we get a pretty good feel for who he is. But why didn’t they mention his death again apart from Thena? Like...Makkari and Phastos never reunited with him! Why didn’t we also get their reactions to his death as well as Ajak’s?

I LOVE THENA. No notes.

I also love Kingo. I love how they kind of went in a grey area with him, with him being devoted to Arishem and not agreeing with stopping the Emergence, but refusing to hurt his family the way Ikaris did. I thought that was an unusual and much-appreciated angle to take.

Ikaris and Sersi, obviously, had no chemistry, and while I agree that in present-day, they’re probably SUPPOSED to feel like an awkward, divorced couple, even in their Babylon love story they feel like...two actors who are being forced to pretend to be in love for a paycheck. Like, I’m sure Gemma and Richard are great actors individually but together it doesn’t work. Was I supposed to feel sad that they broke up and wonder why the hell Ikaris left? Nah. I cringed. I skipped over their dry sex scene. I looked for Druig eating fruit during their wedding.

Druig and Makkari though? THEY HAVE MY FUCKING HEART AND SOUL AND MIND AND BODY. I love them, I love them, I love them. I will always love them till the day I die.

I also loved how Thena and Gilgamesh’s relationship can be interpreted as ride-or-die besties or old-married-couple or a mix of both, rather than a romance being forced down your throat. Refreshing angle to take, once again.

This movie was refreshing for phase 4 because, unlike CERTAIN FILMS (*cough* thorloveandthunder *cough*), there’s dialogue outside of cheap comedy. A visually stunning movie. I didn’t think it was as bad as a lot of people said, but I also think it would’ve been soooo much better as a miniseries, with more time to explore each eternal.

[convenientalias]

A Short Reclist for Short Cdramas

This year I've been watching a lot more cdramas! Especially compared to last year, where I finished like... two cdramas? and DNFed every other one I started? I was wondering why I've had such an easier time watching cdramas and actually finishing them this year and I realized. It's very simple. It's because the cdramas I've been watching have been shorter.

Now honestly if you added up all the cdrama episodes I've watched this year, you might say I could as easily have finished longer cdramas--but listen. It's not just about what time I have, it's about how much time I'm willing to commit to a single cdrama. It's about being on episode 10 of a show I'm kind of into and not having to ask myself, would I watch another 40 episodes of this show, but instead simply asking, would I watch another 10. It's about attention span, too! I loved The Rise of Phoenixes last year. Every time I watched it I would watch several episodes in quick succession. But it is 70 fucking episodes. I watched 28 episodes of it, and if it had been, say, a 40 episode show, I would have clung to my focus and finished it. But 28 episodes is less than half of 70, and my attention span simply was not great enough.

Anyways. This is all to say I may someday finish The Rise of Phoenixes, and maybe you will too, but in the meantime, here's a short list of shorter cdramas you can binge (and I have binged!) in a reasonable period of time, roughly in order of just how short they really are.

Tier 1: I Would Be Surprised If You Didn't Binge This In A Week or Less. With Commitment You Could Probably Do It In 2 Days.

The miniseries tier.

Destined to Meet You--A cutesy little webseries I found this year. A Business Romance (yes, this is a genre) between a rich businesswoman and a college student who has a few tricks up his sleeve. Involves a marriage of convenience but also just immense cutesiness. One upside of a show being short is that my romance/fluff tolerance is greatly heightened! I would not be able to watch 20 full length episodes of this show but it is 20 ten minute episodes and therefore very doable.

A Familiar Stranger--A historical romance with political intrigue, swapped identities and faces, and a couple that met a long time ago reuniting with secrets to hide from each other. Also fairly cutesy in its romance but with the typical edge of historical intrigue, a little action and whump. 8 episodes of about half an hour each.

Addicted Heroin--A gay school romance (yes, I mean gay romance, not bromance! I was surprised bc my experience with cdramas is a lot of censoring, and it's not that Addicted Heroin isn't censored, but it kind of predates some of the heavier censoring, and also the way it was censored is more like "it was supposed to be twice as long and has a cliffhanger ending" rather than "they stare at each other meaningfully but never kiss.") between stepsiblings that do not initially know they are stepsiblings. Tons of bantering and aggressive flirtation, lots of shenanigans and a certain level of whump. Problematique. 15 episodes of about 25 minutes each.

Love Is More Than a Word--Censored gay romance historical drama, focused on the relationship between a magistrate and a scholar in a country province. Includes some political intrigue and lots of slashiness, but feels like it was meant to be longer (probably cut down due to censoring). 12 episodes of half an hour each.

Tier 2: Could In Theory Take Two Weeks But Did Not Take Me That Long

Reset--Really excellent time loop thriller. Every episode is very plot focused, yet it still takes the time to flesh out characters without giving a sense of filler. 15 episodes of the typical 45-minute length.

Yes there is only one show I'd rec in this category. It's a great length though. But I think once you hit around twenty episodes, which is more typical, you might be like me and not be able to sustain a binge, which means you're more in the territory of...

Tier 3: Could Be Reasonably Binged in Three Weeks

Here we get some dramas that are long enough for more in-depth development typical of a longer cdrama, but still easy to finish.

Ancient Detective--A detective travels the jianghu solving mysteries and seeking the story behind his father's death. Fun ensemble cast, sort of a case-per-episode vibe except the cases generally last more like 4-6 episodes. 24 episodes total of 45 minutes each.

Rattan--An alien plant woman comes back to life after being murdered like 80 years ago, and sets out to find her murderer with a human helper at her side. There's a little romance, a lot of mystery and fantasy elements, and enough whump to satisfy me at least :) I loved the two leads; I'd seen both of them in other shows before but I think they really shone in this one. 30 episodes of 45 minutes each.

Under the Skin--Case procedural buddy cop show with a genius sketch artist and a cop who blames said sketch artist for his mentor's death. Oh, the tension! Honestly my favorite part of this show was seeing what ridiculous trick Shen Yi was going to pull with his sketching next, ranging from reconstructing a face from blurred images to drawing a face based off the structure of a skull to drawing from the description of a witness under the influence of drugs who is unable to give a coherent report. 20 episodes of 45 minutes each.

Xiang Long--I'm not sure I should be putting this show on a reclist bc I kind of hate it but I also kind of love it and you know what, a love-hate watch of 20 episodes is not that big of a commitment, so! If you want to watch a Republican-era historical drama that is mostly just about two young masters and their toxic slashy obsession, replete with whump and melodrama, and you see the occasional urge to yell at the screen as a plus, Xiang Long is here for your needs.

I'm going to demonstrate some self control and end this reclist here! For me, it's usually much easier to finish a kdrama than a cdrama sheerly because of length, but with the exception of Rattan, all of these shows come out to as long as the average kdrama or shorter (calculating the average kdrama as about 16 episodes of about 70 minutes each). So if you have similar problems with finishing things to me, you might try one of these out!

[harrowharkwife]

"redeeming the Buckley parents" dude im sorry but like. speaking as someone with emotionally neglectful parents? if you missed the incredibly unsubtle implication that buck is still viewing his interaction with his parents as part of the "other life" (all the flowers in the kitchen at his loft, his dad wanting to watch the game on the couch, his mom decorating the place as she sees fit, his parents staying longer... it looked exactly like his coma dream!) then like... idk what to tell you? this plotline is written from such aggressively personal and specific lived experience that not to sound like a gatekeeping exclusionary cunt or anything, but i genuinely believe it's just one of those things where either you get it or you don't.

of course buck was going to let himself bask in his parents' attention for a spell. tolerate it, let himself enjoy the bits and pieces of it that aren't half bad, while still seeing it for what it is- a fantasy. i called THAT unpleasant little twist halfway through the episode, and was pissed about it for all of five seconds before going "yeah, god. that tracks."

i was half expecting him to cut his parents off this episode, going into tonight, is the thing? because this is TV, and that's how TV writing usually works. but after taking literally just a second to think about it? of course this was how it went. this was how it was always going to go, there was no other option. that is exactly what it is like to have that kind of parents. you always think that you're past it, that you don't want their attention, that you're above it, you've learned your lesson not to let them in, but your parents are always going to be your blind spot. you never stop getting your hopes up and your feelings hurt, no matter how careful you think you're being with your heart. and this is 911, the show that has made its entire modus operandi brutally, excruciatingly lifelike *emotional* realism, at any cost.

narratively speaking? buck was never going to give up on his birth family entirely until he'd accepted the 118 wholeheartedly as his true family of choice, the family that matters. we all know buck- he couldn't survive a single minute in a world where he feels truly alone, i'm talking no family at all, not even a fever-dream play-pretend make-believe pipe-dream one. he was always going to have to embrace his found family before he could begin cutting off his birth family. he needs their support in order to do so- and he's always had the 118's support, but he's never truly let himself trust in it, or believe in it, or feel it, or feel that he deserves it, until now.

another post on here said it better, but- the new couch and the area rug and the game watched on TV, and most of all, the staying?

that's just the grown-up version of new bikes and chocolate cereal and bandaids on his skinned knees.

buck knows that.

the buckley parents haven't changed at all.

the show is not trying to trick you into believing that they have. i promise.

the entire point of this episode was that it was a look inside buck's headspace. the episode flat out stated, verbatim, that what we were witnessing was just different facets of buck's conscience playing tug of war with each other. bobby straight up said, out loud, with his human mouth, that everyone in the coma dream only knows what buck knows, feels how he feels, realizes what he realizes.

like. i'm sorry, i get it, i am unfortunately coming from a perspective of firsthand experience with a large majority of the rather niche set of lived experiences that this episode and this family dynamic are centered around. not everyone is! that's not a dig, just a fact. not everyone grew up with this exact, precise, hyperspecific kind of parents.

(meanwhile, the first time margaret buckley ever walked across the screen all the way back in buck begins, my wife leaned over and whispered in absolute horror "oh my god, it's your mother," and like, she was right. anyway!)

i fully understand that it is a fucking baffling and beyond frustrating and incredibly nonsensical dynamic when viewed from the outside looking in. but please, please believe me when i tell you that for the story they are trying to tell, and the dynamic they are trying to represent? this episode fired on every single emotional cylinder.

no, the buckley parents are not being redeemed.

yes, buck is letting himself linger under their spell for just a little while longer. letting them fawn over him, playing nice until they leave, daydreaming about what could have been, in another life, while knowing that it's just not meant to be in this one.

yes, he knows what he's doing- this is evan "bizarre and extremely effective forms of self-inflicted emotional injury" buckley we're talking about, here. the man hurts his own feelings like it's a sport and he's trying to take home the gold medal.

yes, this is fucking frustrating. no, it's not the healthiest option he could have chosen.

it's also the single most relatable and poignant and true to life thing this show has ever done, from where i'm standing.

however: no, i have a feeling it won't last for very long. this episode was relentless in positioning bobby as buck's true father figure- the dad to philip buckley's donor, if you will. we're just not quite there yet.

idk, this is getting long, just...if you watched the scene at the end of the coma dream- buck telling his parents that he will always love them, (like? no. respect? hell no. but there is always going to be a tiny, broken piece of you that can't help loving your emotionally neglectful parents, regardless of whether or not they deserve it), but that he knows he doesn't belong there anymore, that there's a real family out there who need him, and that no matter how much they apologize, or what they do to try and make it up to him, it won't change anything, he still needs to leave them behind- and genuinely walked away thinking it was a buckley parents redemption arc?

i truly do not know what to tell you.

that was buck cutting off his parents. not externally, verbally, theatrically, to their faces, sure. but that's the part that TV always, always gets wrong. it doesn't matter what you tell an emotionally neglectful narcissist, they'll find a way to spin it to their advantage and strip it of all meaning. it's what they do best.

what matters here, what matters in real life, and what has always mattered most on this show, is the internal dialogue. the things we admit to ourselves. so as satisfying as it can be to watch cathartic, dramatic scenes where a character tells their shitty parents in no uncertain terms to fuck off and stay gone- in my experience, at least, it never feels as good as you want it to? in fact, it often just makes you feel worse? because it introduces a whole new can of worms to fight over.

the strongest, best, and most important thing buck could have done for himself right now at this juncture of time to protect his peace and guard his heart and move forward with his life, was to simply privately come to terms with the knowledge that his birth parents have never, and will never, be there for him in the way he needs them to. and make his peace with that, secure in the knowledge that he has a family, the family he chose.

going no-contact is great in the movies. it's even great in real life sometimes! don't get me wrong, for some kinds of toxic family dynamics? it's deeply, deeply necessary, and life saving, and the key to healing. and it's always an option, if that's what you want to do.

but toxic, dysfunctional, and/or abusive families are not all created equal. they are not a monolith.

so, like, speaking from experience?

sometimes closing the door on your birth family looks exactly like this: accepting that although you still love them, no matter how much you wish you didn't. being honest with yourself that you don't belong.

turning around, and striking out to find the kind of family you deserve.

lucky for buck, he's already found his.

[alaffy]

X-Men, Ep. 1x10 – Tolerance is Extinction (spoilers)

So…how long until season 2? 

As much as I was looking forward to an X-Men movie under the Marvel label…I honestly think that, after this, they need to take their time.  The creators of this series took a show that was great for its time and turned its sequel into one of the best projects that Marvel studios has ever produced (The original show is still good; but was limited to what Fox allowed them to do at the time.  It was more then the slapstick cartoons or 30-minute commercials we usually saw; but the writing can be lacking when comparing it to some of the animated programs that came later). 

So, we begin with Magneto and Xavier having a drink at a bar in not quite Vietnam (as in they don’t mention the region, but ah…).  It’s quickly established that this was the moment that the two, uh, “came out” to one another (with the way half this episode played, I am fully justified in using that phrase).  But then we realize that we are in Magneto’s mind.  Xavier is trying on last time to appeal to Magneto.  But when it doesn’t work, Xavier takes control of Magneto’s mind and powers and saves the earth.  But doing so, breaks Magneto’s psyche.  Xavier chooses to stay inside Magneto’s mind in order to try to repair the damage (yeah, I had a feeling that the original comic story, where Xavier purposely turns Magneto into a vegetable, was going to be tamed.  Not that I have a problem with the change).

So, Bastion is able to take control of the hybrids again and he goes on this huge monologue to basically say this, “humans are unpredictable, so me and my kind are now taking over as the next evolutionary step.”  Ok, that’s really underselling it.  But it basically boils down to; both Magneto and Xavier are wrong.  It doesn’t matter how many good deeds the X-Men do, the world is not going to stop fearing and hating them overnight; and some people just hate.  It’s ego, it’s lack of self; it’s whatever it is in humans that makes people want to be better than others.  At the same time, not every human is going to feel that way about mutants and every human has the capacity to change (although some never will).  Boiling humanity down to absolutes leads to nothing but failure.  Mostly because we have these funny little things called emotions, something that Bastion seems intent on getting rid of.  At which point, we start to see the hybrids attacking humanity (and look at all the cameos).

Of course, during all of this, we have this constant mocking of Jean's and Madelyne’s deaths.  Yeah, so Karma took the form of Phoenix, and resurrected a bitch (also confirming, like the comics, that Jean is never going to be separated from the Phoenix entirely).  Anyway, Jean is able to put the neutralizer onto Bastion’s head, effectively cutting him off from the hybrids.  She them captures Sinister and…deconstructs him, until he’s a shriveled old man and he runs away. 

But while Bastion is disconnected from his army, he’s far from powerless.  He attacks Cable, rips off Cable’s metal arm, and then proceeds to beat Cable with it. (I'd question why the X-Men didn't try to stop him, but I'd probably be standing around in shock too).  Bastion then uses the technology from the arm to create his final form; complete with wings.  Since he can’t reform the Earth his way, he’s just going to get rid of the pesky human by dropping a large piece of rock from..the..sky…(Wait, a minute…this seems familiar). 

Meanwhile, the X-Men on Asteroid M are trying to get Xavier to wake up (and also make sure Wolverine doesn’t die.  Yes, Wolverine, is that fucked up.  And in the comic this is based on, he actually did flatline).  Jean warns Cyclops that Bastion is coming and what his plan is.  Also, that he hurt Cable.

And so we’re up to the next fight.  And yes, even Cyclops with a full on blast can’t hurt Bastion.  So, it seems like he’s invulnerable, except Jubilee takes a turn.  I mentioned this several posts ago, but Jubilee is supposed to be a lot more powerful than she lets on.  She actually can blow things up at the subatomic level, but she’s afraid to use her powers.  Jubilee is able to focus her powers and damage Bastion’s face.  It’s not a whole lot of damage, but it is showing that there more to Jubilee than fireworks.

So, long story short, the other X-Men manage to use a Sentinel to get up to the asteroid.  Meanwhile, Kelly is being told he needs to use the Magneto protocols by some and that he should wait by others (Captain America and Black Panther).  Black Panther also has this great line about history books, except what they really need to focus on is science because…what do they think is going to happen here?  Hit the gravity core and just hope the fuck that it blows the asteroid into little, tiny pieces?  And if it doesn’t, it doesn’t take a rocket science to know that thing is too close to the Earth and too big to be anything but extinction level bad.  And guess what?  The missiles hit, Bastion kind of accepts his death as his work is done, and the asteroid goes careening towards the Earth.

The X-Men, of course, decide they not going without a fight.  They have Sunspot take Jubilee back planet side; but don’t have Nightcrawler teleport the injured somewhere safe for…reasons (And if Jean and Scott had time for a telepathic goodbye, he should have had time to bamf them somewhere). 

Meanwhile, in Magneto’s mind, Xavier is trying to piece Magneto back and explain how friendship is magic or some such bs.  Although part of me felt like Charles was practically manipulating Magneto’s mind, turning him into what he wanted to be (but I’m probably reading into that).  But it works and Magento wakes up just in time to stop the asteroid, except it disappears.

Six months later, everyone believes the X-Men to be dead.  Forge is trying to start a new team (also Cable, Jubilee, and Sunspot appear to have gone AWOL).  Bishop comes in and tells Forge that the team isn’t dead, but transported through time.

Cyclops and Jean are in the far future, where they meet a young Nathan (and another character important to their future).

Beast, Rouge, Xavier, Nightcrawler, and Magneto find themselves in the past, where they stumble upon a warrior called En Sabah Nur.

Meanwhile, in Genosha, Apocalypse is digging through the rubble and finds one of Gambits cards, while talking about death.

And, if you’ve read the comics, you know why all of this is important. 

As for Morph, Storm, and Wolverine….?       

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Spiral: From the Book of Saw (Bousman, 2021)

This is the first of these I've watched since the original, which I thought was downright terrible, so I suppose against that low, low standard, this is an improvement. Like that movie this is a hybrid of psychological thriller and torture scenes. But where that movie had the premise of two guys trapped in a room repeatedly undermined by cutting away to some dogshit police procedural scenes, this puts the cop thriller stuff first and punctuates it with the torture scenes, so it's a dramatically sturdier piece of work. And while these days I tend to be lenient towards anything shot on film, the fact is that the original movie was a total eyesore, the scenes in the room having the ambience of a dirty public bathroom with blinding fluorescent lights, and that was before we got to the piss filter cop scenes. This movie has that same urinary colour scheme, but the higher production values made this more tolerable to look at. That being said, the editing rhythms here feel amusingly akin to the nu metal style of the early 2000s, and if you didn't know the release date, you'd be forgiven for thinking it came out a decade and a half earlier than it actually did. So I guess it's a throwback of sorts.

The big selling point here, aside from the usual trappings of these movies, is that stars and is based on a story idea by Chris Rock, something which sounds like a hacky SNL sketch from two decades ago. Rock's touch is apparent from the dialogue, although I must note that none of the jokes here would make the cut in any of his specials. (Exhibit A: Rock's character complaining about Jenny from Forrest Gump in the opening scene.) on his routines in Selective Outrage, he's still in fine comedic form, but you wouldn't know it from this movie. But I suppose Rock's hand is also apparent in the social commentary, which tries to examine the issues of police misconduct and accountability through the lens of a Saw movie. Rock's character is the sole honest cop in a corrupt department, whose members are being targeted for their misconduct. The movie goes much softer on this subject than one might hope, as it leaves the obvious racial angles largely unexamined, and for all its ideas, the execution is very much akin to a hacky cop show. But in any case, it offers an alternative to the currently in vogue elevated mode of horror for movies in the genre seeking to traffic in social commentary.

For what it's worth, Rock's performance and story ideas seem to respect the material, or at least don't condescend to it, although one wishes the movie were less interested in maintaining any sense of dignity about itself. The moral equivalences presented by the killer are all bullshit, so rather than trying to examine them with any seriousness, it might have been more fun to go full bozo mode, like the speechifying in the much more fun Law Abiding Citizen. The only time it does so is right at the end, when it keeps cutting between a character suspended in a trap with the puppet the killer used for a creepy video message during a climactic moment. This is easily the most fun part of the movie, which is otherwise a mixture of middling procedural scenes and the kind of ugly torture scenes that I'm glad went out of vogue over a decade ago.

Anyway, I'm very obviously not the target audience, although I should note that the performances are respectable and the runtime of an hour of a half makes this relatively painless.

[the-firebird69]

We have several announcements to make and they're pretty big huge huge announcements today we're figuring out that you're sitting there annoying our son on purpose and threatening him all day and we know it's four and we know who so going after the source this is so damned annoying we're not tolerating it anymore even though we're devastating your forces and he's been hoping for it because he wants a new motif cuz you're playing as a piece of s*** now

Referring John remillard from several companies today and one of the big companies said he's leaving is

*dirksen company and we have a list of companies that he's going to until 3:00 p.m. and we listed them last night but these are in addition to it and they're smattered throughout filling in the half hour slots so we don't have to see him and if he misses one of them we issue warrants and he's pretty sure it's the max cuz the max the ones going after him. This company is responsible for packaging most foods and he started to try and change packaging over into kelp so he can harvest kelp to become Giant and we don't want him doing that and because he's screwing around with the mail and he's screwing around with rent and he's screwing around with FedEx and other things we're going to take it out on him and we're going to fire his stupid ass I'm going to take it out in him and we're doing it now and we are launching many attacks and we are going after them and pulling them out there's a huge affair and it's going on now it's also a huge number of people giving our son trouble about all sorts of dumb things that they're making him do and he's forced to do and we're going to make them pay for it because you're an embarrassment to your kind doesn't really cut it anymore cuz you don't care but what it does is it alerts us and we send people in and we get you or Max sends people in and grabs you and pulls you to the incinerator. Now you don't care and you act like it because you say you're already enemy combatants which is fine but you can be shot on site for doing that and we're taking this out on you today and a lot and we are hoping that the max finally start continuously attacking you cuz right now you're recovering and you're trying to get people here with massive fleets and you're beating up people overseas and it was that break that they used as an advantage and they keep saying it too you take a break and sit around and they go after you. They keep on making an analogy to our son he comes in here and sits around it goes out and you get your ass kicked every time and others are trying for your positions cuz I see you falling this company's gigantic it has subsidiaries everywhere and including Kai's fiber and other places that Arnie worked at and we are going after them with gusto but we are signing off on this one today if he fails to show up he's going to be under criminal charges for about $550,000 crimes about 80,000 of which he committed personally and will send it off the mac and they'll issue warrants usually they issue about 3/4 of them the first day and the rest they have to try and find someone or they find out they're dead so they go after you for it

*pharma it's a pharmaceutical company and it is gigantic it's a monstrous pharmaceutical company it's number three on Earth and the reason why it's so big by comparison is that it produces all of its own medicine most of them have subsidiaries and you have to go after all these little groups of people and it's different clans even different races of the same type of trumpster and we go after tons of them all the time but this one is huge and it's all clones and they're all going down and sick and tired of hearing from your piece of garbage we're taking it out of him and the idiot just sits there smiling and grinning like it doesn't even know what's happening he's a stupid f*** that guy he's got it all based on some sort of misconstrued emotional response our son's supposedly makes and the emotional responses he's making he wants to kill you John remillard and you seem to be really stupid about it like you don't understand what killing is and you don't understand what he means you don't understand what he's saying but what English is for any of that simple s*** can people explain to you while they're killing you they say you're so obtuse to us so we just end up killing you and you don't seem to understand what we're saying while we're killing you the sword or the bullets are going in you and they're saying do you get it now what we're saying is stop that or we shoot you and you don't seem to get it a sunset it too he's so rude and so lame so obnoxious and so mean you're going to make sure he's not getting anything so tell me I said you keep on making these damn noises and I can't help it I said no you're saying it to me f****** fruit and if you say it to him it's doing the same thing to me it's just not as Stern he goes I got to ask you how long do you think you have to live when you're running around saying all the stupid s*** to everybody who's shooting you. He says back I don't think I have that long this is why do you keep doing it moron and he shoots him. He says I guess because people shoot me and I get angry I said what are you him for real and trying to do his act you want to take over his body and stupid s*** like that or take over his identity and you don't do it and it doesn't matter you're not a real inventor he's a real inventor he has the background this is this meeting was piece of s*** and he also sits there taunting people all day long saying that they're doing stuff and he got people to do things and all the stupid s*** so going after him for that too and you can't stand it so we're sitting here waiting for two parcels and it's impossibly long how long you guys take to get stuff somewhere normally is bad but this is ridiculous and you have a whole bunch of people who think they get stuff by bothering us so we go out and we take tons of this stuff. There is some confusion and he was a little confused and couldn't remember the package was there and we said that John remillard is making people do stuff and he thought that he wanted him to deliver the package and then we said he probably is against it so he went and got it and they list what it is on there but our son showed him he said this bike is pretty good it goes fast it gets you there and it can pull my weight he was astounded because our son looks big and it was a he didn't want to go inside cuz he thought there are other people maybe and he's pretty good he's pretty big it looks like he's talking you know here's a bike cuz people's lab and they make they make they harass people who deliver batteries and so it's nice it's nice to deliver it and he's going to have a tough time with John Green boulevard it makes a little harder for right now there's so many people going after him they'll be a field day

They're two different batteries with two different keys and it looked different which is good so we're going to encourage him to charge it

Now there are a few things wrong with how people do things and we insist that you don't and we see our son's frustration didn't raise your ours. The battery came in it's not charged at all if you don't know if it works and we're going to go through that stupid process possibly and it's annoying and you people are very annoying and we're going to help him out right now we do hear you you're stupid so we're sending you a strong message very shortly

Thor Freya

[andrewsleftknee]

Neil’s hair was practically dead after the decade of bleaching and dying his hair over and over again. his hair would fall out all the time, leaving a trail of ginger hair wherever he went.

he decided he was over it. he hated having his hair be so damaged. it wasn’t soft like it was when he was a kid. he wanted to have nice hair again, so he cut off the majority of his hair, only leaving the parts that had grown since his stay at Evermore.

he ran his hands through his cut hair constantly to try and get used to the new length of it. he has changed his hairstyle up a lot, but he never got used to them so quickly.

after a few months, his hair was grown out longer than it had been in years. it stopped around his chin and was often put up so the top half of his hair was in a bun because the bottom half was too short to make it in.

on nights where they would hang out with the upperclassmen, Allison would weave braids into his hair. she was always gentle with Neil, never tugging too hard. these nights became more frequent during the second half of the year when it started to sink in that the girls would be leaving soon. they had all gone through a lot together, and Neil couldn't believe that they would have to leave so soon.

Andrew would sometimes join them as well. he probably wouldn’t admit it, but he had come around to the upperclassmen. he didn’t entirely see why Neil likes them so much, but he tolerate them.

"are you going to grow it any longer?" Allison asked. she had finished braiding his hair, so she was starting to pull them out to start the process again.

"maybe an inch or two longer. this is the longest it’s been in a long time. i kind of want to see when it’s like to have it a bit longer,” Neil responded.

“i can help you trim it if you’d like,” Renee offered from behind the couch, peering over Allison’s shoulder to see what she was doing to Neil’s hair. “saves a little money,” she added.

“okay, sure.” he smiled back at her while Allison’s fingers weren’t in his hair. “that sounds good.”

the room soon filled with its normal chatter. Allison weaved one more set of braid before she decided to try a french braided crown at the top of Neil’s head. it left a small amount of hair hanging down by his chin, about a third of it if he had to guess. it was different to what she has done before, but Neil liked it.

Andrew and Neil left the girls’ dorm a while later. they were the first to leave, but they had both wanted some time alone. they both wanted some quiet.

they had a cigarette by the window, the both of them a little too tired to go up to the roof, before changing into comfortable clothes and climbing into bed together.

Robin hadn’t moved in with them yet, but Neil and Andrew would sometimes fall asleep in the same bed. they both craved the warmth of each other.

Andrew raked his fingers through Neil’s hair. Neil had taken the braid out before he got into bed, deciding that he didn’t want the top to be more curly than the bottom. Andrew wouldn’t complain. as much as he liked Neil’s hair off his face, he liked to pull his hands through his hair too. he liked to feel Neil relax under his soft touches, subconsciously leaning his body closer to Andrew.

Andrew liked Neil show he was regardless of how long his hair was, but he had to admit that he loved Neil’s hair long. he probably wouldn’t admit it out loud unless Neil had asked him specifically, but he did.

[the-cult-of-russo]

gotta know how u think billy would be as a dad with his kids :D

I had so many requests for Dad!Billy headcanons 😭

I hope you're ready for this chaotic ramble.

Please remember this is my Billy I'm writing

-

You know those parents who take like a million pictures of their kid and show them to everyone? The kind that talks about their kid nonstop to anyone who'll listen? Their family, friends, the poor random old lady at the store that just wants to buy some damn milk.

That's Billy.

He's such an unbelievably proud parent, his pride for his kids knows no bounds. It doesn't even need to be some kind of milestone worth celebrating, everything his kid does makes him proud. You better believe when his baby has an explosive crap and ruins their clothes, he's boasting about it the next day to Frank and the guys at Anvil.

-

He's incredibly protective. Murder is a possibility if his kids in danger. He wants nothing more than to keep his kids safe. If they're being bullied, it takes all of his willpower to stop himself from kicking the kids ass for doing that to his kid. He's not above picking a fight with the bullies dad though if they don't get their little shit head in check and also making it known to the principle that this shit won't fly with him.

~

"Mr Russo, I don't think you understand how serious this is. Your son broke a kids nose," the principle mutters with a glare.

Billy tilts his head, regarding the teacher with those unsettling eyes that has the old man squirming in his seat.

"You’re damn right he did," Billy replies seriously, a proud tone to his voice. His dark eyes cut to his left where his son is, practically his double. As Billy smirks, unable to help himself, his son wears the same one although he's lowering his head to hide his amusement.

"We don't tolerate that behaviour here, Mr Russo," the principle huffs. Billy's eyes harden then as his eyes narrow, sitting forward in his chair just the right amount to be imposing. The second the man leans back he knows it worked.

"You know what I don't tolerate? My kid bein' bullied. You assholes won't do shit to stop it, so I say let the little fucker get a taste of his own medicine. Serves him right for messin' with a Russo," he smirks wickedly.

~

He teaches them self defence, wanting them to be able to look after themselves if it ever came down to it. Naturally, for their 16th birthday, they're gifted with a big ass knife.

-

Billy as a dad is so stupidly soft.

We all remember the scene from the show, right? Where he's in the hospital with his mom and he says;

"Maybe you did me a solid, you know? I mean, the way I see it, you want weak kids, give 'em everything. But if you... if you want 'em strong... treat 'em hard."

When he has a kid of his own he realises just what utter garbage this is. The idea of all the shit he's been through making him into the tough son of a bitch he is today is born from trauma that he still hasn't dealt with. The way his brain tries to rationalise what he went though. To make it make sense instead of it being so goddamn senseless.

But if he's honest, more than he'd like to admit, he finds himself wondering just what his life would have been like if he grew up in a loving home. What it would be like to feel wanted and cared for. To rise to the top being helped and cheered on by others instead of clawing his way there with bloodied and dirty fingers, the weight of the world bearing down on him as he's beat down at every turn.

He never wants his kids to feel that way. Not even a fraction of how unloved and unwanted he felt. He does everything in his power to make sure they know just how much he cares about them. There's literally nothing he wouldn't do for his kids. They could turn up at home one day and confess to a murder and Billy wouldn't hesitate to ask where the body is so he can handle it for them.

-

Billy is ridiculously sentimental when it comes to his kids. Drawings go up on the fridge and when a new one takes its place, the old one goes into a box of many others that he can't seem to ever throw away. He has multiple pictures of his kids at his office, even some framed cute drawings they did for him. He's kept all the mementos from the pregnancy, birth and onwards. They're his little treasures.

-

Billy is super supportive of everything his kids do. He makes sure they get a good education but he never pushes them to do something they don't want to do. Despite the large college fund he's got for them, if they choose not to go to college, he doesn't pressure them. Instead, whatever hopes and dreams they have, he does everything in his power to support and help them. Whether that's moral and emotional support, money or even breaking a few jaws of people standing in their way.

-

Let's look a little bit at how he is throughout some of the ages of his kid.

Billy with a baby is a sight to behold. No one has ever seen Lieutenant William Russo so goddamn soft. Once he's got hold of his baby, you've got no chance of getting them back off him. You'd have to fight him. He adores holding his little one close, soaking them in. He's constantly holding them no matter what he's doing and baby carriers and wraps are a godsend to him. You'd heard about them from a friend and told Billy and you better believe by the time the baby's born that he's an expert on all things baby wearing. He's a perfectionist and carrying a baby wrong can be dangerous. He makes sure he knows how to do it right.

Just as he has little affectionate touches for you, he has the same for his baby. His large hand stroking their tiny head and little hair. His finger stroking their chubby little cheek. He's a tactile person and touch is grounding for him. It soothes him to do so with his baby and reassures him they're really there and that they're okay.

He's super attentive. Of course he works a lot but as soon as he becomes a dad, he doesn't stay late anymore and makes sure to have days off. The second he comes home, he's making a beeline for his baby, scooping them up with a grin. He loves to read to them, something that continues as they grow up. His weekends used to be restful or if he was feeling like a masochist, he'd work from home. But now weekends are his time to shine. By the time you wake up on a Saturday morning, he's already up with the baby, making you breakfast as he's got the baby attached to him via baby carrier.

As his baby grows into a toddler, each milestone makes him tearful and full of pride. He kisses any booboos that happen and he's constantly playing with his child. He has a pretty silly side to him that most don't get to see. Making his kid laugh and smile brings him the greatest joy.

He loves taking his toddler to the office with him. Everyone dotes on his kid and treats them like royalty.

When they turn into a small child, he watches with a proud smile and amusement as his kid wants to fight with his men, watching them 'beat' the shit out of them. The guys at Anvil are more than happy to very dramatically go down, and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree when the tiny Russo grins smugly at their 'win'.

Their first day at school and Billy's a mess. It's such a turning point and he doesn't know how to deal with how fast their growing up. But every achievement at school, even minor ones, and he's showering them with praise.

He encourages them to work hard and as soft as he might be, he is still the boss. He makes sure they do their homework and don't fall behind on their studies.

One thing Billy loves is teaching his kids stuff. Whether that's mundane stuff to help with school or teaching them shit he knows like survivalist things, because you can never be too prepared, right? He loves helping them with school projects and answering any questions they might have about one of the many things he's knowledgeable about.

When his kids moves onto those hard teenage years, the ones where everything feels so dramatic and world ending, he's a little tougher when it calls for it. Billy is no novice to rebellion, he has a rebellious streak of his own and marches to the beat of his own drum half the time. He respects that. What he doesn't respect or tolerate is behaviour that's going to fuck his kid over in the long run or self sabotage. He will be firm and a hard ass if he needs to be to keep his kids on a path where they don't get hurt or ruin their life.

Billy has a zero tolerance policy on drugs. After the shit with his mother, he won't budge on this. If he finds out his kid is dabbling in drugs, they're grounded until they're old enough to move out.

-

No matter what age his kids are, Billy loves them immensely. He wants to be the father he wished he'd had growing up and he pours all of his anguish and pain from his upbringing into it. Channeling it into the purest form of love for his kids. To break the curse that had hold of him. He won't perpetuate the cycle.

Being a father brings him a sense of completeness and peace he didn't think was possible for him to achieve. It fills the void that's been eating away at his soul from his lack of love as a child and he loves every second of being a parent. Even the hard moments.

-

Bonus:

The Russo's and the Castle's go on monthly camping trips together. Billy loves the outdoors, the mild survivalist feelings he gets from it without the real danger. He loves taking his kids there, teaching them everything. In his role as dad and uncle, he sits around the camp fire at night, the light of the flames dancing along his face as he very theatrically tells the kids a spooky story.

You and his kids are his immediate family but the Castle's are his family too. So he really loves it when you all get to spend time together like that.

[twentytarot]

hi everyone! i’ve been hard at work with my job this past month but i am finally done and back with a reading. today, we’re doing a reading on marriage in your life in general. pick the tiffiany ring that sets your thoughts off, triggers a memory or invokes a strong emotion and scroll right down for your reading. see you there! 💍

CONTENT WARNING: there are negative piles here. not every pile has a future spouse.

PILE ONE: CUSHION CUT

if you were handed an ultimatum and forced to choose between marriage and work, you’d probably get into your car and go to work the next morning. this makes things a little complicated, because you’re ambitious, you’re feisty, you hate it when your time and attention is used up on something that doesn’t matter to you. if you get married, however, your time will be eroded by many things that don’t matter in hindsight. you see, there will always be ridiculous in-laws, there will always be someone that will want your help so long as it is available. someone is going to want kids, even if that decision is completely irrelevant to them, or something dumb like that. no married couple gets out of having to deal with these things, and no couple gets through it without fighting over it a single time. so, my question to you is: will you have the patience to see this through? or will you fold?

unfortunately, the cards don’t predict the best of outcomes when it comes to your marriage. you probably will decide not to get married in the first place. if you do, you might remarry, or get into a questionable third-party situation. yet, i don’t see this being a huge hindrance on your life as a whole. you seem to me like the kind of person who cares less about having an other half compared to your friends, and i think you are going to have so much going for you in other facets in your life that you won’t be clinging onto this relationship when it goes south. this gives me celebrity vibes, almost, like someone who can never be home and the relationship ends because work is so demanding. so this will be a little sad, but i’m confident you will pick yourself back up quickly. 

astrologically, cancer came out very strong, and the interpretation i want to go with is that your most significant relationship will be very cancerian in nature. comforting at first, but ultimately probably not aligned with what you want to do with your life. that’s alright, you’ll be able to afford your own diamond ring anyway.

PILE TWO: SOLITARE

well, pile two, it looks like someone told you “if no one is going to marry you, i will”, and then they took it seriously. i kid, but i do see an element of your future spouse being someone you didn’t expect at all. perhaps you thought they would just be a best friend that knows all your secrets. and yet, this person knows your darkest secrets and then offers you love in its purest form. i get the feeling you’re not quite used to that, pile two. i’m hearing this underlying feeling of “what if i give too much, wait what if i give too little”, and i think this is partly because you haven’t seen first-hand a marriage that is of the kind you want to be in. it feels like you’re not sure if happy marriages exist in your world. well, they do. it just turns out that you give just the right amount when you’re not trying, which is why a best friend finally becomes your spouse.

this person will be with you through thick and thin, you will feel like they are your soulmate. you will always feel balanced in your relationship with this person because they will always be silently watching the scales, tipping it this way and that whenever something is about to swing out of balance. they will help you feel like you have nothing to worry about, they will bring a childlike kind of happiness into your life. 

now, onto a little bit of warning. no marriage is only ever happy, and i sense that your source of pain will come from outside influences. money is one, health is another. you will be very much together, but it’s a blessing and a curse because when one goes down, the other follows. the advice to you is to try your best to lift each other up through bad times, and know when you have to detach and go do your thing alone for the good of your future with them. you don’t have to always turn around to make sure they’re following, they’re your forever! they’ll be there.

PILE THREE: ROSE INFINITY

your marriage isn’t going to be a very fast-paced one— when you meet your future person, you’re going to be eons away from being ready to get married, and they will be the same. i almost feel like you will laugh at yourself when you start dating this person. the relationship just isn’t... pretty. this person almost brings out the worst in you: you fight them about the stupidest things and rile them up all the time just because it’s funny. there’s ten separate occasions where you’re pretty sure you should have been dumped or dumped them for some iconic out of left field insults, but for some reason it’s just funny after you’ve both calmed down. so it’s fun, and it’s so 20-something, but you’re preparing yourself for the inevitable breakup. and then... it somehow never comes.

somewhere along the lines, you grew up, and so did they. you didn’t know it then, but this person brings the best out of you as much as they bring out the worst. like a tantrum that just has to be thrown before a little child can settle down, you took your growing pains out on each other, and then somehow managed to fit into each others’ lives forever without even thinking about it. you give each other love naturally, flowing with each other and keeping each other sane. after you get married, there’s a feeling of “i can rest when this person is around” kind of energy because you trust each other to come out with the truth when it needs to be said, but you also trust that the person will be there to pick up the pieces if you break.

so this person isn’t as good-looking as you hoped or imagined. or they’re not the type to show you off, and they’re not really the type that wants to be showed off either. so maybe someone made a joke at their expense and you laughed. the beauty of all of that is, despite all of that, they love you and will for a long time. isn’t that already more than we can ask for, as mere mortals?

PILE FOUR: YELLOW HALO

okay... there are two groups of people in this pile. let’s talk similarities first. your partner is going to be quite eccentric. visual arts came up in particular, so perhaps your partner will be an artist? the last similarity is that marriage is unlikely, but as for why, it depends on which interpretation resonates more with you.

for the first group, this is probably my lgbt+ in a place that hasn’t legalised marriages not between a man and a woman pile. for reasons that seem bigger than yourself, marriage is unlikely in your life. i feel a lot of unwelcome judgement coming from this group. i think you might not get too much support around you; maybe your parents have something against people who are not in “professional degree” jobs, or your family and environment as a whole is very conservative. regardless, you will be with this person, but it might be beyond both of your abilities to get married for real. :( i’m sorry, i wish the world were kinder.

if the first interpretation doesn’t resonate, then it has something more to do with your stubbornness. everyone wants someone that will take them for exactly who they are. that doesn’t change the fact that no two people are completely perfect for each other, though. every couple starts by taking apart their schedule and fitting the other’s in. tolerating strawberry shortcakes on their partner’s birthday even if they hate strawberries. stopping their work short even if it means that coming back to it will be hard because their partner needs something. advice here is to rethink your mindset. you could be very successful in your career, but if you think you won’t be able to go home to an empty bed, or you know that family is what you want in the future, then see how you can be more considerate to the people around you. we don’t always like to hear this, but being considerate and selfish is a never-ending balancing game, so don’t feel too bad. you’re not a bad person! these things just take time. whichever way you choose, i hope it’s the one that makes you the happiest!

[phoenix-manga]

Vice Dorm Leaders getting along with Pokémon:

It didn’t take long for the vice dorm leaders to get involved with the Pokemon too. The shenanigans that happened with them are... interesting to say the least.

Trey + Slurpuff

“The Unbirthday Party was a success thanks to this little guy’s sense of smell… Though I should expect to make a large portion for it, the number of sweets it ate was shocking for everyone!”

Trey was a bit skeptical when Phoebe lent him Slurpuff and told him that chefs would use them to sniff out the freshest ingredients but if they say so then it must be worth a try.

Needless to say, he was pleasantly surprised to see the cake thing nudge him to the best ingredients to use for his sweets. He rewarded Slurpuff with a spoon covered in frosting or batter. The Pokémon mostly stayed out of his way and only has to bring him some tools or supplies.

When he presented the sweets he made, everyone including Riddle were almost knocked into a food coma with how good it was. Even Trey was lost in the trance of the flavor, but he was snapped out of it when he spotted Slurpuff eating almost half of the buffet table, he rushed to it and told it to ask him for more sweets to prevent any problems.

Ruggie + Crobat

“That Phoebe kid feeds you this? Aww man! I’m so jealous, now I wish I was a Pokémon!”

That one-time Ruggie came across Crobat was when he passed by Ramshackle to see a large bat creature with four wings eating from a large bowl filled with berries, Poke puffs and even poffins. The amount it ate distracted him from his usual task and he only snapped out of it when Crobat made eye-contact with him.

Crobat wasn’t sure why a stranger was here but it assumed it wanted food so Crobat nudged a Poke puff towards Ruggie’s direction before going back to chow down. Ruggie didn’t plan on asking it for any food, he was just curious but since it offered, who is he to decline? Picking up the Poke puff and taking a bite, he immediately devours it till there’s nothing left. That was the tastiest pastry he has had; they were even better than the ones in the cafeteria.

He hears Phoebe call out to Crobat and he took this time to scram before he was found. That kid pampers their creatures like royalty, he admits that he once had the thought that wishes that he was a Pokémon too. Ruggie now sneaks to go to Ramshackle and Crobat sneaks him a portion of its food, Ruggie repays it by offering some to it as well. They just formed this unspoken lunch trade. The one time Phoebe made malasadas for Crobat, Ruggie was in heaven lemme tell you.

Phoebe has no idea about this, this was just a secret thing between Crobat and Ruggie. One time Phoebe was with Crobat in the field and it spots Ruggie, Crobat immediately goes to him and flies around him. Phoebe assumed that Crobat took a liking to Ruggie because it probably sensed that he’s a foodie. Oh, if only she knew.

Jade + Lapras

“Such kind yet protective eyes you have~ I’m far from trustworthy yet you nuzzle against me like a seal, this is quite interesting”

Phoebe asked Azul if she can be allowed to have her water Pokémon swim about in Octavinelle. The lake is much too small for the larger ones. Azul gave her permission but in exchange she has to work part-time at the lounge, Azul is capitalizing as usual. The mention of Pokémon being at Octavinelle brought more customers to the lounge, the one that got the most attention was Lapras.

It was very friendly and even paused to look inside the lounge from the windows. Phoebe was not surprised that Lapras was friendly, what she didn’t expect was that it got attached to Jade for some reason. She would have thought it was Sharpedo or even Eelektross who would get along with the cunning vice dorm leader. But instead, Lapras is swimming happily in circles wanting Jade’s attention.

Jade, of course, finds the Pokémon endearing and would always take his time to pet it whenever he’s on break. Even offering Lapras a small treat or two, Lapras is enjoying it. There was a rare occasion that Jade swam with Lapras in his eel form, at times he swims alongside Lapras or have it chase him through the water, other times he just sleeps on Lapras’ back as it swam.

Jamil + Serperior

“Quite the proud one you are, at least you’re more tolerable than Kalim…”

Kalim promised a favor without consulting Jamil again, this time it was to look after some of her Pokémon. Kalim got caught up in the excitement of having to get close with those strange creatures that he didn’t think that it could be troublesome.

Jamil stopped in his tracks at the sight of Kalim with a large green snake behind him. Boy did he get quite the scolding from Jamil, but what can he do now that Kalim as already offered? He just decides to “help” him take care of Serperior. Thankfully, Phoebe provided a list of ingredients that Serperior likes, the list was as long as an A4 paper but at least Jamil has his options cut out for him. He doesn’t have to guess and waste any food.

Serperior mostly kept to itself and wanders around the dorm, inspecting its surroundings. Kalim tries to hug it but it just wraps its body around him and places him a few feet away before slithering off. Serperior will feel terrible if he smacks the sunshine boy away, so it places him at a good distance.

Jamil often sees it staring at him, its sharp eyes resemble his own. He never expected to have it get attached to him in a rather proud way. Everywhere Jamil goes, Serperior follows at a distance and there were rare moments it coils near his bedroom door, and Jamil walks out one morning only to fall into its coils. This strange behavior was suspicious at first but then Jamil learned to get used to it. Serperior is a curious one but then he thinks its more tolerable than Kalim.

Speaking of Kalim, Serperior sensed that most of Jamil’s stress comes from Kalim being a goofball that he is, so it catches Kalim and puts him in a coil hold when he’s about to do something reckless.

Rook + Oricorio

“Oh my! Such grace and beauty you possess to dance with excellent skills! Wait, you mean to tell me it had four forms? I would like to see it, please show me”

He spotted the dancing bird Pokémon in the field when they were having a PE class. Oricorio was in its Pom-Pom form and doing a cheer dance to motivate Grimm to fly better. He couldn’t help but approach Phoebe and ask her about Oricorio.

Needless to say, he was very interested. A creature that has four different forms that represents a different environment? It was like a fox having more than just a winter coat. He asked to see its other forms, it would be tiring to have it change forms constantly so Phoebe just brings out Rotom to show him the pictures of the Oricorio forms. Rook admired the pictures and each one gave off a different kind of beauty.

Oricorio, being a simp for pretty boys, took a liking to Rook. He was just so charming, Oricorio does its happy dance and follows him whenever it sees him. Phoebe once asked him if he can keep Oricorio company for a few days, he accepts the offer and he brings it to Pomefiore. Oricorio also liked Vil and Epel due to how charming their looks are, Vil is fine with it as long as it isn’t a troublemaker while Epel is kind of bummed out when he thinks it likes him because of his fragile looks.

The moment Rook was shown its changed forms in person, he is taking out his camera and is taking burst shots from all sorts of angles and lighting. Out of all the four forms Oricorio has, he loves its Baile form the most, the way it dances with embers around it in a display of passion and power. He looks forward to Phoebe asking him to look after Oricorio again.

Ortho + Emolga & Pachirisu

“Hey! That tickles, big brother you should try and pet them! They’re like those plushies you sometimes order in your room. Isn’t it like having your favorite plushy as a pet?”

Emolga and Pachirisu are both cheeky Pokémon and a duo for trouble. Emolga and Pachirisu were seen making student’s hair go static and stick out with small electric waves.

Ortho spotted the two behind some bushes and immediately approaches them, this is the first time Emolga and Pachirisu were caught off guard and startled. Their electric attacks don’t do much to Ortho due to his robotic circuits, if anything he considers it as some form of tickling.

Ortho thought how cute they looked and they resemble plush toys in his brother’s room. Emolga and Pachirisu was weirded out by Ortho at first but his cheerfulness was infectious and it didn’t take long for them to treat him as part of their group. Whenever Ortho passes by, the two would pounce on him and swing from his arms and legs, Ortho likes this game, he finds it useful to use his scanner to see where they might pop out next.

One time, he took them to see his brother and they made his hair stick out. He was startled but Ortho found it amusing, he got to see what would his hair look like if it stuck out. Emolga and Pachirisu still do their pranks but its less due to them wanting to find Ortho first.

Lilia + Dragapult

“A prankster and yet you dote on the little ones on your horns? We might be cousins from a distant world, fufu~ Let’s go scare Sebek some more!”

Dragapult pranks Sebek a lot, poor boy gets it from almost a lot of Pokémon. It once shot a Dreepy in his shirt causing him to squirm and try to get it out, he looked like he was doing a crazy monkey dance. Lilia appreciates this little prankster and he would join it in tormenting other students but mostly Sebek because his reactions were very amusing to watch. The two even went and started a pranking competition where they tally their number of pranked students for the whole month.

Lilia was allowed to play and hold the small Dreepy that reside in Dragapult’s horns. He melted at the sight of the little cuties playfully tussling his hair, which gave him an idea to mimic Dragapult’s horns(?) With an easy hair growth potion and a LOT of hairspray, he came to school with his hair in Dragapult’s style.

The sight alone in Diasomnia sent everyone, including Malleus into a stunned silence, Dragapult added fuel to the flame by letting the Dreepy reside in his hair for the rest of the day. Crowley saw Lilia and mumbled how the trends have gotten crazier every day. Cater took pictures and he laughed at the sight because it was so outlandish. Kalim was confused but precious boy still appreciated his hairstyle nonetheless. The perfect chaotic duo.

[with-my-murder-flute]

Sometimes you just have a really intense week and can’t stop thinking about how much trauma Lan Sizhui experienced by the time he was 5 and how being the Very Best Boy isn’t always healthy and then you need to write Lan Wangji the child psychologist and his incredibly anxious foster-son, y’know?

---

Bunny is on time-out again.

"You have to behave,” A-Yuan says in the voice of the potato-head, packing accessories into its body and shoving it into the bed of a soft plastic truck. “You get in the car now.” The Barbie van is already full, with a dinosaur and a fingerpuppet and one of the new larger Lego figures, and all their carefully packed luggage. A-Yuan does that. Over and over again, for each of his toys, he methodically packs and unpacks luggage. It’s his most common form of play, but not the most enjoyable.

A-Yuan’s breathing is rapid and shallow, so much so that he takes little gasps when he talks to himself. Routinely, predictably, he’s calmer when he turns away from the dollhouse. He’s most collected when selecting items to put into luggage, deciding on pieces of felt and Barbie shoes, but even with the vehicles he can lose himself enjoying the movement and progress of the cars. But underneath it all, there’s a jerkiness to his movements and a certain disconnected quality in his speech and body language that tells Lan Wangji that he’s pretty distressed.

It’s a step forward that Bunny is out at all, Lan Wangji knows. A behaviour therapist at A-Yuan’s last preschool made it a point to extinguish comfort-seeking behaviour towards the toy, which was becoming both careworn and grubby. A-Yuan’s had it at least since he was fourteen months old; it was with him when he came into care. Maybe his birth mother gave it to him. A-Yuan has obediently derogated the toy; if it’s left lying out, he can usually be trusted to throw it into a corner to prove what a big, grown-up boy he is.

Lan Wangji has very carefully gauged his son’s limits of tolerance for some things. When the car ride begins, he waves slightly and says, “Have a nice trip,” which makes A-Yuan glance back at him nervously, but it’s just mild enough, just unemotional enough, just tolerable enough, that it doesn’t provoke too much emotion. A-Yuan can keep pushing his vehicles around, and feel safe enough to drive one into Lan Wangji’s foot. He doesn’t persevere at that point, though; the trip has culminated and he gets up and walks to where he can see down the hallway to the front door, then wanders over to the slide.

A hundred million years ago, Lan Wangji thought he’d be a genetics researcher, like his uncle. Then he thought he’d be a neuroscientist, like his undergraduate thesis advisor. Then he thought he’d be a psychologist like his brother, who focuses entirely on assessment and the development of psychometric tools. For a little bit in grad school, he thought he’d counsel adults, like Wei Wuxian, until a classmate told Wei Wuxian that Dialectical Behavioural Therapy was “objectively badass” and he developed a fixation Lan Wangji could not follow. In retrospect his career path is absolutely obvious, resonating clearly through every bone of him, but it took him a very long time to realize he ought to work with children. It’s a little shocking that he, who was so bad at being a child, feels so prepared to be a father.

He smiles when A-Yuan looks at him anxiously from the slide, the moment of uncertainty as he lets go and begins sliding down triggering the need for reassurance. Lan Wangji is always waiting for that glance, waiting to return it. At A-Yuan’s last placement he’d been assessed as having an avoidant/dismissing attachment style, and despite its uncharitable and parent-shaming nature Lan Wangji can’t help but agree with what his husband had muttered over that one: “Were the parents even trying?”

The most vital task, and the hardest, is being present in the moment with a child. Not worrying about the future, not concerned with the past, not preoccupied with an external standard. He’s surprisingly bad at performing objective assessments with children, because he can see how unfair they all are. His greatest facility is something he built for himself, brick by painstaking brick: the willingness to sit with discomfort, and have faith that the chaos will not remain chaos. All his years of meditation have cultivated a still eye to see the world from, and the faith that patience and compassion will see him through.

Still smiling, still watching A-Yuan, Lan Wangji moves closer to the dollhouse. He carefully stars arranging its contents, righting knocked-over furniture and returning blankets to little wooden beds. He takes out a shark figurine, a couple of doll clothes, then puts Bunny on the floor near his shin. When A-Yuan comes close, magnetically drawn away from the slide, Lan Wangji reaches behind himself for the tea set they were using earlier, arranging cups and plates in front of him as though they’re going to have another tea party. He leaves the placement of the cups ambiguous; it’s not like Bunny is specifically invited, but there is a suggestive proximity, the way the other cup is in proximity to the shark. A-Yuan takes the teapot, and Lan Wangji solemnly holds his cup out while A-Yuan pours. For the sake of the ritual he accepts milk and refuses sugar and mimes stirring his invisible ingredients before taking a sip.

When A-Yuan is done drinking, Lan Wangji turns to Bunny, lifting a cup, and asks, “Would you like some tea?” A-Yuan noticed the moment that Lan Wangji’s hand moves, but as he addresses the rabbit A-Yuan seems to lose interest, which is to say, he slightly dissociates; blink and you missed it, but his eyes go a little glassy, he looks away, and then he acts on the adrenaline and gets up and wanders away.

The current theory about Bunny is like the theory of gravity, which is to say, it’s definitely pretty certain but it never hurts to be humble when it comes to knowledge. It’s honestly a little more speculative and psychodynamic than Lan Wangji is truly comfortable with, and A-Yuan’s case manager, possibly a little defensive over the last preschool placement, absolutely refuses to consider the possibility. But it still feels as essential and true as which way is up that Bunny performs the vital task of holding all the parts of A-Yuan that he blames for making the adults he cares about disappear. Bunny holds both the neediness and the hope for comfort that were so painful, his son shut them down in order to survive. Bunny was how A-Yuan mediated that desire, the source of his comfort, until he was three and a half, and the behaviour therapist.

A-Yuan knew his foster parents didn’t like him being disorganized and distressed and clingy, that they’d rather he behaved more like a six-year-old than four. Which he could, sometimes, because he had a ferocious intelligence which put him cognitively ahead of his emotional development. But he, well... adapted a little too quickly, one might say. Learned his lesson a little too well. Now they’re trying to reignite the behaviours that were extinguished.

Lan Wangji takes a risk, while A-Yuan is pulling picture books off the lower shelf, and lifts Bunny to his shoulder like a colicky infant. He doesn’t do anything else, aside from stroking the rabbit’s fur. He leaves it in place, with a little guiding help from his hand, when A-Yuan brings a Franklin book over and climbs into his lap, demanding to be read to. With interest he notes, halfway through the story, that Lan Wangji holding and petting Bunny doesn’t distress A-Yuan; as the story arc gets as exciting as Franklin books ever do (which is not, to be clear, a criticism) A-Yuan turns in his arms long enough to distractedly reach up and pet Bunny too, before turning back and trying to grab the book for himself.

Wondering how far he can push this, he keeps Bunny in place on his shoulder when they leave the room to check the clock, and A-Yuan goes to the living-room window to watch the street for Wei Wuxian. He looks curiously when Lan Wangji leans down to dig the remote out between the couch cushions, but easily redirects when Lan Wangji turns on the TV and goes to prepare dinner. Having the show on limits his anxious glances out the window to three or four a minute only, instead of sustained attention followed by a meltdown if he had to wait more than five minutes.

Lan Wangji thinks it would be easier to keep Bunny in place, on his shoulder like a dishtowel, if he had weighted plastic beads in his extremities, or if he was velcroed. He’s wary of changing anything about such a strong comfort object, though, so he just learns to move and stand differently to keep the rabbit from constantly falling off.

A-Yuan greets Wei Wuxian with the kind of terrified delight that looks like general indifference if you don’t know better; he runs over, stands uncertainly within arm’s reach of Wei Wuxian’s legs, and then dodges away before Wei Wuxian can reach down to him. Lan Wangji helpfully muted the show when he heard the door open--it gives A-Yuan the space to sit with his back to the room and self-regulate while the adults say hello.

“New friend?” his husband asks finally, an eyebrow raised.

“Modelling it as appropriate,” Lan Wangji says. “I thought perhaps he could tolerate us demonstrating that it is not discouraged.”

“Nice rabbit, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says seamlessly, in a voice meant to be heard from the couch. “I like it. Makes me wish I had a rabbit.”

“They are very good friends,” Lan Wangji agrees. “This one is not mine, but he is keeping me company.”

“Nice,” Wei Wuxian agrees. “Maybe whoever you borrowed him from will let him hang out with me sometime.”

Their audience does not comment on this, but they didn’t need him to. Wei Wuxian sets the table while Lan Wangji cooks. A-Yuan’s palate is still pretty limited, so he’s used to making three separate elements of one meal, and can live with cutting up cooked hot dog into little coins so long as he doesn’t have to eat them himself. They just supplement their kid’s diet with a multivitamin.

A-Yuan looks askance enough, when dinner is ready, that Lan Wangji takes Bunny off his shoulder and asks, “Where should he sit while we eat?”

There is a fourth chair, albeit completely out of proportion, but he doesn’t dare try it. Instead A-Yuan thinks for a minute, and points to the kitchen counter behind the table. Lan Wangji props Bunny up against the wall, observing dinner if not participating, and after a second to think, A-Yuan accepts this as normal and climbs into his chair. He is meticulously well-behaved.

Lan Wangji aches for his son, and hopes one day he’ll feel confident enough in their love to break the rules around them.

They eat.

[limetameta]

more on the kimblee family

Kimblee's dad, absolutely well-put together, handsome man, wearing suits, always ironed to perfection. You expect him to be so, so cultured. So, so amazing and well-versed in all things artistic and cultural. He opens his mouth, you're at the edge of your seat, and then the most petty-bourgeois, fake-cultured shit comes out of his mouth that you're absolutely horrified someone is like that while looking like that.

Kimblee's mom is the cultured one. She goes to art galleries and music hall concerts and operas and theatre plays and reads all of these classical novels, follows politics, is incredibly knowledgeable.

Meanwhile Kimblee's dad plays the accordion and goes trumpeteering on weddings with his travelling band for tips. He's maybe read 5 books in his lifetime. Loves to fish, though, and hunt. Not an academic, certainly, but he's involved in the community, though. Everyone loves him. Real social butterfly of a man. Always knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. Can recite his family tree since its beginning. Family is a big thing for him.

Someone asks him how he even met Kimblee's mom, like why did he go to the concert hall that day when normally he never goes to such places - and he just replies with: they closed down the bar of choice on the account of one of my friends breaking the bar owner's head with a rakija bottle so I just decided to see what the hubub was about. :D She takes me sometimes with the children, but I'm not interested in all this high society stuff, really. The children like it, though.

Solf asks her: How did you ever fall for him? :/ You're so different.

Kimblee's mom just sighs, as if it's painful: He's the most reliable man I've ever met in my life. :// And he loves me. And I love him. I don't know why, Solf.

Solf: D: That sounds terrible.

Kimblee's mom, laughing at him: Be happy if you find a woman at least a fifth like your father. He's never let me down in my life. No other man would tolerate half the things I put him through. Besides, he writes songs for me. And provides for me. It's kind of sexy, honestly.

Solf: :/

Kimblee's mom: *trying to comb his hairs back in his ponytail* *they keep sticking out* *growling, frustrated* I'm going to cut your hair while you're asleep so I don't need to look at these hairs sticking out.

Solf: D: NO YOU WON'T! *covering his head and glaring at his mother* I'LL SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN!

*door opens*

Kimblee's dad, stinking of fish: LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT! :D *shows them a giant ass fish*

Sibling: *shows smaller fish* :D I caught this one so Solf's cats can eat.

Kimblee's mom and Solf, dressed fancy, ready to go to the concert hall: *thumbs up* *five metres away so the stench of the fish doesn't attack them* Good job!

Also additional headcanon: Solf's cats love his dad because he feeds them fresh fish he catches. Solf, too, like a big cat he is, loves his dad because the man feeds him fish. Solf Fish Lover Kimblee rights.

Kimblee's dad is actually really, really knowledgeable of tales and stories passed down from father to son from father to son so even though he doesn't really read books that often he has such a wealth of stories in his head that he shares by singing in the very particular way of orating that's specific for their part of Amestris.

Solf: *side-eyeing his dad* How does all of that fit inside your head?

Kimblee's dad: :D Well, I don't listen to your complaints from school so I've got plenty of room. If anything, whatever you told me just now I've forgotten.

Solf: -_- I don't think you and I have spoken about school since I enrolled in it, years ago.

Kimblee's dad: Oh, that's the other one, then.

Solf: Do you even know how old I am?

Kimblee's dad: Not sure, honestly. I don't even know if you have friends. I know all your cats names, though, and I call that a monumental success!

Solf: You don't know their names! You just call them based on their fur colours!!! And you call the black cat Orange for some reason, just to piss me off!

Kimblee's dad: That cat has the head the size of a perfect orange. Calling it stupid shit like Midnight isn't cutting it for me.

Solf: I don't call the cat Midnight. I call it Fang, because it hunts really well. :)

Kimblee's dad: That cat's my son. It's brought more prey it's hunted than you ever will and I've been going hunting with you for years now. *taking out a cigarette and lighting it*

Solf: :/ I'm telling mom you still haven't quit smoking.

Kimblee's dad: Go, pull at your mom's skirts like a little boy all your life! One day we'll be dead and you'll just have your cats!

Solf: :///////////// Better company than you in any case.

Kimblee's dad: I'm telling your mom you're being mean to me again.

Solf: D: Don't you dare. She actually sat me down one time and told me, explicitly, that she was going to confiscate my alchemy books if I don't have one meaningful conversation with you per week.

Kimblee's dad: I'm going to die one day and you'll be sad you were mean to me, you know.

Solf: Your gas-lighting games won't win, old man. I'm onto you.

Kimblee's dad, miffed: I'm not old... I made you when I was really young.