#shoutouts to autocorrect for thinking poly was supposed to be polymerization

[hunkledunk]

Can someone like. Talk to me about what it's like to be poly?

I've never been great with relationships. I've always felt like there's way too much that's expected of me to be a "good" partner and I simply don't feel capable of that emotional stability sometimes. So much of that feeling is "if I'm the only person you're going to be this close with I can't ever have faults or needs" because then I'd be weighing down this person that I care so deeply about, like they have to bear my burden all alone.

I feel like I would appreciate a network of people to be close with. Not being the first and only point of contact for the people I care about, but having a shared group we can all confide in and find support from where no one person is made to feel like they have to fix anything on their own.

I feel a little silly saying this, but I had written off the thought of a poly relationship because I don't think I could take part in a threesome without getting jealous. Not if it's with a dedicated partner and just some guy, at least. There's that feeling of "I'm not good enough, they need this other person" that sticks in my head.

I don't know necessarily if a poly relationship would be that different, but I think an understanding that everyone truly cares for each other (in a way just a friend group can't really match?) would help with that anxiety a lot. One person feeling depressed and anxious wouldn't be the sole responsibility of their one partner, but a time for everyone to come together in support. A threesome wouldn't be playing with a new toy, but a loving moment between equals. That sounds good to me.

I don't have anyone in my life who's poly, or who's even expressed a slight interest in the idea so honestly I feel like there's so much I don't know. I dont have a strong mental image when it comes to polyamorous relationships. I just joined tumblr recently and I've already seen so many people openly discuss all their sexualities and relationships, it's making me want to join in and discover myself in a way I've never really felt prepared for before.

If you have something you'd want to say to someone like me I'd really appreciate it. My DMs are forever open if you'd rather it be private, too.