#shouting your favorite lyrics with your favorite artist with a bunch of strangers and for a few hours youre not strangers

[cafedesuga]

Oh hey guys, on seeing hozier yes, it was the best time of my life it was beautiful sososo much better than i imagined i have no words i cant believe i actually saw him and heard him and we were breathing the same air this is insane

[theparaminds]

A new face in music, Binki is exactly what many have been looking for but have been unable to find. His style contrasts a stark relaxation in sonics with an introspective understanding of lyrics and emotion.

An theatre student, Binki truly understands what it takes to connect with an audience, what it takes to express emotion honestly and how to be a truthful soul within sound itself. His first song, Marco, does so perfectly, reminding us of youthful innocence and the troubles that come with it.

In his first interview ever, Binki tells us of his baggings and what it took to make the jump into music, as well as has upcoming move to New York set to put a lot into focus. 

PM: First question as always, how’s your day going and how have you been?

It’s been pretty uneventful. I had to go to court earlier for this speeding ticket, but other than that I've just been cooling. Later I’m gonna go jam with my buddy though.

PM: For those who don’t know, who is Binki? What does he represent and what is his vision?

Yeah I'm pretty sure nobody knows me! Binki was actually my nickname growing up, not really sure how it came to be, but it stuck. I recently decided to release music as Binki to remind myself to not be too self-serious with my music. I definitely care about what I'm doing but if it's not fun then what's the point? Overall though, I want to make music that connects and makes people days easier.

PM: What was the spurring moment that really told you to start releasing music as opposed some odd demos here and there?

A few things, but my brother played a big part in it all. He would always gas me up when I showed him a song he thought was good. I always had desire to go full tilt with the music but I always held myself back. I was in school studying theatre and acting for the past 4 years; and I had it in my head that I couldn't do both for some reason. I thought people wouldn't take my acting seriously if I had this music career on the side. But life's really too short to not do the things you love. There's also plenty of people who have done both successfully. It was really just fear.

PM: Were there others around you inspiring you to push into musical ventures?

Yeah, there's definitely a "house show" scene at the school I went to. I was definitely inspired because I wanted to be a part of it and perform. I also really enjoy live music. I didn't have a band though, and it's really hard to get people excited to hear some random dude perform over an instrumental.

PM: To move a little back to the past, what did your environment and location look like growing up and how did it manifest into your sound and style?

Suburbs as fuck. I spent my early years in Hershey, Pennsylvania. A lot of white people and not a ton of culture. I wasn't miserable though, I had a lot of friends and I was outside playing most of the time. My brother put me onto a lot of stuff growing up, but in highschool I kinda veered off into my own lane. I remember this girl I had a crush on showed me Pink Floyd, which spiraled into me listening to a lot of classic rock. Then in college, I watched this Jimi Hendrix documentary, which is no longer on Netflix unfortunately. But after that, I started learning how to play guitar. I don't know though, the internet kinda changed the way everyone consumes music and other people's culture. I feel like it's super valuable for artists who might feel like they're in a bubble geographically. I'm moving to NYC in like 2 weeks though so we'll see how that changes things.

PM: What’re some of your fears and aspirations with living in new york? What is it you hope to find in the city you wouldn’t find anywhere else?

It's actually just starting to hit me that I'm moving to NYC. It's something I've always wanted, feels a bit surreal. I guess a fear would be that the city will just expose me as a talentless hack and I'll have you move back to the burbs. Or that it'll take me 20+ years to make it. I'm really not afraid of much at the moment. I feel like a big part of being successful in any field, especially creative endeavors, is just being bold enough or naive enough to think you have something to add. So many people give up before they even try. My goals are pretty nebulous at the moment. I really just wanna connect and collaborate with talented artists. I'd love to perform my music in some capacity, that's been the mission for awhile. NYC represents opportunity in my mind. There's an energy. If you live there, you might inherently have it. If you move there you're looking for something, and you gotta be driven to survive there. I'm looking for that energy.

PM: On the topic of the music itself, how have you come to develop your sound over time? What changes are you working on and improvements as time goes?

Most definitely still developing my sound. I think the best thing has been working with different people. The same way you communicate with other artists if you're having a jam. I think my writing changes when I'm exposed to different sounds. I never understood when artists say they only listen to their own music when they are creating, I can respect it, but I feel like I'd lose my mind if I tried that. I take pieces from all of my favorite artists, but it's all filtered through me so it's always gonna sound like me. Going forward I just want to keep taking risks and remain ambitious. I'll always want my music to be enjoyable. Not commercial necessarily, but I don't want my music to live in a bubble where only a select few enjoy it. That said I really want to do a concept album at some point, something along the lines of My Beautiful Dark Fantasy.

PM: What is about the concept album that you love and why is the idea of making one appealing to you as an artist?

When it's done well, it adds another layer to the music. Also albums are just in a strange place right now. I really hate this trend of artists releasing 30+ songs and calling it an album. Something really cold about it. I think concept albums, and more ambitious video projects, show a different level of passion. Even when done poorly, I'm like: “okay there's intention behind this.”

PM: What’re some of your personal ambitions and goals going forward? Do any include live shows?

The biggest one is to just put out music that I'm proud of. There will be live shows in 2019. I'm kinda just speaking that into existence but it can't be that hard right? Even if it's just like 20 people, that'd be tight. I'd love to go on tour eventually. Also more videos! My brother and I made the video for "Marco" in like 48 hours with no plan. So we just want to keep getting better and stay consistent.

PM: Tell me more about that Marco shoot, how did come together and how did it conceptualize through the day?

So I called off work and drove down to Atlanta, we started just shooting random bits around my brother's apartment complex. Then we just bounced around the city starting at a museum, then a park, and we ended at dance party. It was a super fun day, it felt like we really had something. The next day I said we should get a shot of me falling in a pool. Totally inspired by the 'Untitled' video by Rex Orange County. I didn't think we'd get any shots of me underwater though because we were shooting on an iPhone. My brother was like "I'm pretty sure this is water proof." I was like, I don't know man but we ended up just going for it. We got the shots and then his phone died. He plugged it up to charge and then the screen started glitching and shit. I was so hurt man, I thought we lost all the footage, but like thirty minutes later it started working again and we transferred everything to his laptop. It was wild, I'd never seen a phone come back to life after something like that. After that shoot, everything kinda shifted for me. I was like "oh, I can really just do this shit." Been riding that wave ever since.

PM: That’s an amazing story. Do you have a best memory of the last year, if it’s possible for you to pinpoint?

When I went to NYC in March. That was pretty dope, but to be honest, I feel like releasing Marco might be the highlight. The response has been wild. This Russian YouTuber put it on his playlist and now there's a bunch of people in Russia playing my music. Crazy. It's one thing for your friends and family to support you but getting support from strangers, people with no stake in my well-being, is the best feeling. I don't know if I've ever felt that to this extent.

PM: And as a final question, if you could recommend one movie to everyone reading currently, what would it be and why?

Well my favorite movie is "Superbad," but I feel like everyone's seen that right? So I'll go with "Rushmore." The main character in that movie is full of contradictions and on the surface he's pretty shitty. But you root for him, and you understand why he is the way he is by the end of the film. I feel like the world is lacking empathy right now. It also has Bill Murray in it so that's a plus

PM: Do you have anyone to shoutout or anything to promote? The floor is yours!

Yeah! shouts out to Chasen, Justin, and Sam for helping me make this shit. Also big shoutout to Raymond & Jerry! And check out "Marco" if you haven't yet!

Follow Binki On instagram 

Listen on Soundcloud and Spotify

[larauthorized]

Rose Petals

"You're the most special girl I've ever known," The boy said, his hand reached out with a rose, attempting to give it to the girl lying next to him.

The girl blushed and took the rose in hand. "Aren't you the sweetest thing," She remarked, her heart plummeting. Not only was that the first time someone said and made her feel like she was worthy of something, but the moment after that honestly topped everything else. She leaned her face closer to him as he did the same, in a quick moment, their lips met and landed on each other. It went on like that for a while until one of them decided that it was time to go and the other obliged, holding the gift of a rose to her chest.

As soon as Emma came back to her room after yet another date (that actually turned into something else) with Wesley, the first thing she did was bring up a vase that she found from digging out some stuff in the garage that later on she used to put in the rose that she had just gotten from him to showcase in her room. Not only as a reminder that it was the first ever flower she'd ever gotten from a guy, but it was the thought that made her feel all her insides jumping up and down - most importantly, how a simple act of flower-giving could easily form a smile on her face each time she looked at it. Especially when it was given after they had their first time together after a few several dates beforehand.

After that was all over and done with, she fell onto the bed and started to be on her phone. Messages from her friends came through, all asking the same thing; how was the date? She gave the rightfully final report as it was a duty of friends doing that to each other, then the group chats started piling up all being happy and jealous for her. She smiled at the reaction though she was expecting it as they were all friends with the guy she went out with as well. However, it was still nice that they decided to ask her about the whole thing, rather than going to him in spite of only being friends with them just recently. Specifically, not long ago before she and Wesley decided to make it official.

The next day at school, her friends were cornering her in class the moment she walked right into it. Despite having told everything the night before, obviously her friends would still want to hear details on a much personal level. She decided to sit in the back of the room with her friends surrounding her, telling all that she needed to spill but couldn't do to the limitation of a group chat. Not that she wasn't able to, but talking face to face just seemed more intimate to her.

She broke away from the conversation as soon as her eyes spotted the one guy walking into class, as soon as their eyes met from across the room, he made his way towards her with his bag slumped on one shoulder. Her friends left her on her own and made room for just the two of them. "Morning, beautiful," He greeted, leaving a peak on her cheek, sitting himself down on her table.

Her cheeks reddened as she looked away, replying, "Hey, you," She played with the tip his jacket, an attempt to not sound or look ridiculed.

"You know, I could've just given you a ride this morning," He declared. Shortly, she had always taken the bus like the rest of the students who went there for like a long time, and he might or might not suggest the idea beforehand, but something inside of her just refused to give in to the temptation of riding to school with him. Even though the other part of her, mostly teenage hormones induced, really wanted to.

She smiled in return, "Maybe next time." She said along with a smirk afterwards.

"Wes, there's a party at Hilary's house tonight. You want to come?" One of her friends, the one with large black curls but astonishing looks, suddenly chimed in.

"Oh yeah, totally forgot about all that," Wesley answered, then he turned back to her. "Want to come together?" He asked.

The invitation was tempting and she almost said yes, however, she remembered that her parents would not be willing to let her go to parties. Yeah, they were strict like that. "I don't know, I mean, you know my parents," She sighed.

"Don't worry about that, babe," Rena, the girl who reminded Wes of the party earlier, said once more. "Come over to my place after school and tell your parents that we'll be studying all night. Then Wes can pick us up there," She suggested.

It sounded like plan but Emma, being the overthinker that she was, obviously had to play it in her mind for a while before landing on a decision. "I'll have to think about it." She announced.

"Alright, you have until school's over today," Rena and the rest of her other friends stood up from the seats, turning to Wesley. "Please try to convince her and tell her that she needs to live a little." She remarked before departing from Emma's table.

Emma chuckled and shook her head, shouting her answer even though she knew Rena was no longer able to hear. "Hey, I'm right here!" She defended herself.

It was Wesley's turn to let out a laugh and finally took a seat of his own as soon as he heard voices behind him that came from the teacher who just appeared. "Then come, I'll make it worth your while?" He pleaded, even using that puppy dog face that no one could resist. Even her.

She didn't have much time to respond and only left him with a slight smile because the teacher had just begun to silence us all and start teaching. Her attention was now on the board after pulling out her notebook to start taking notes just so she'd look busy. Having been in the class for so long, she knew that the only way to avoid being picked out by the teacher to answer questions was to put your head down and start writing. Even if it was all just a bunch of lyrics form her favorite artist because her mind was not in class. She was indeed imagining herself lying to her parents about studying at a friend's while she was actually going to a party.

Out in the hallway as Emma was putting books in her locker,  Wesley appeared out of nowhere and wrapped his arms around her while planting kisses all over her neck. She turned around and looked him over, "What's up?" She asked.

He smirked before answering and had his arms reached out on the lockers, practically locking her in his embrace. "Just wanted to know if you have found an answer yet," He stated.

She shrugged, pausing for an answer intentionally as she liked watching him squirm. "The answer you're looking for," She looked deep into his eyes, practically gazing. "is maybe." She smiled.

"Maybe? Come on, that was your answer this morning, I need a definite one," He persisted.

"Well, you're just going to have to wait and see," She said, dismissing him altogether by walking out of the barricade that he made.

When the school was over and she finally walked out of there with ease after being stuck for far too long, however, as she was about to step in to the bus, her friends showed up yet again. She completely forgot that they were probably waiting for her answer regarding the party. As she told them the answer, they all just shook their heads disapprovingly and let her go to the bus. She chose to sit by the window to watch all the sights that the bus drove by.

Lying on her bed at night while staring at her phone, debating whether or not it was a good idea for her to stay in. Now that her assignment for the day was over with, she realized she had nothing else to do. She thought over the party that was supposedly going on at the moment and decided to get off the bed then tried to find something to wear in her closet. She stood before the mirror as she was ready enough and had yet another scenario regarding how was she supposed to get to the party?

Enough episodes of thinking later, she decided to sneak out but obviously not from the window as it was impossible to do so. She waited until a little later at night 'cause she knew her parents would be sleeping by then and tiptoed very slowly towards the front door, out of the house at last.

Half an hour later, the cab she was taking to get to her destination finally made it. Approaching Hilary's house, where the party was supposedly held at, she paid the cab driver and walked out of the car. With both of her hands inside the pocket of the jacket that she wore over the knee-length dress along with tights underneath, she looked straight ahead and walked into the house. She definitely wasn't into the party scene.

She let herself in as the front door was revealed open with people coming in and out freely, holding plastic cups filled with whatever drinks that the hostess served tonight, walking or more like clinging into their friends for support due to having too much to drink that they were unable to stand up on their own. Music was blasting throughout the place and she walked around not knowing what exactly that she looked for.

Someone who was pretty sure she knew from one of her classes, greeted her and blatantly put their arm around her uninvited, they also handed her a drink that she had to take just because the person probably was too intoxicated to even have a normal conversation.

However, the person did say something though, "You're Wesley's girl, right?" He asked.

Not really getting the best impression of the guy, she answered with just a nod. But she realized that wasn't a good idea considering the guy was wasted. "Yeah," She corrected.

The guy was impressed for something she had no idea about and suddenly between the many people surrounding and practically shoving them right against the wall, he smirked. "That's nice. Listen, you want to find a room so we can be alone together?" He suggested.

Hearing the sentence that just came out of the stranger's  mouth blatantly like that completely threw her off guard and made her want to throw up right in an instant. "Excuse me?" She said, making sure that she heard the guy right. Or a way to politely say that the idea was ridiculous and he should really consider restating his offer.

"Come on, it'd be fun," He tried to convince her and then without an invitation, he leaned in closer to try kissing her neck as she could feel the alcohol breath coming out of his mouth. She pulled away from him immediately but when he wouldn't budge and go even further, she was outraged and shoved him on the floor. Too bad, not even the people around her cared enough to pay attention what was done to her and carried on with whatever it was they were doing.

The guy grunted annoyingly and stood up, or trying to. And then he glared at her, about to go off at her suddenly even though it should be her in that place. "What the fuck?" He shouted.

"You were the one who came onto me even after you found out that I was someone's girlfriend!" She shouted back, but not so loud that everyone around her could eavesdrop. Pretty sure the odds of that happening were slim from her brief observation earlier.

He scoffed, "Oh, don't give me that. You know, your boyfriend practically flirt with everyone here tonight. Oh wait, guess you didn't know that since you're such a prude princess," That was the last threat he said to her before walking away from her not even giving her some kind of explanation to what he was saying.

She was taken back by the newfound information that she decided to find a quiet place to think and before she knew it her feet her led to a room right below the stairs where the only lights turned on were from the string of lights decorated on the wall. Yet, it was bright enough for her to notice the one person she looked for, well, it was also because the fact that it was a very small-spaced room. For that reason, she was also needed to duck before she could finally step in.

"Emma? You showed up," Wesley immediately approached her and took her by the hand to walk her towards the center of the room. "I can't believe you showed up. How long have you been here?" He asked.

"Not too long, I guess," Emma answered, still holding the plastic cup in her hand but had no intention to drink from it. She was too smart to take a sip out of a stranger's cup, who knows what kind of poison they mixed in it.

"How did you get here?" Curiosity washed over Wesley's face, showing a sign of wary that there must be something wrong if his girlfriend who wasn't known to come to parties, just decided to show up out of nowhere.

"Cabs do exist, you know," Emma replied, shortly. She looked around the room and quickly noticed that the only person she knew out of all these people was Wesley. Where were all her friends?

"You could've texted me, you know," Wesley scratched the back of his neck, pausing, "I would've picked you up."

Emma shrugged, debating whether or not she should bring up the information given to her earlier. However, she decided it'd be best if she didn't take some drunken guy word over her own boyfriend, especially when she knew that Wesley had been nothing but sweet to her. "Where is everyone?" She changed the subject instead.

Furrowing his brows, Wesley replied, "I have no idea. They must be around here somewhere," He declared. "Do you want to go and find them?" He offered.

Honestly that'd be the rational answer, but for some reason she'd rather stay there with him. "You know what, I'd rather just stay here," She replied, about to finally take a sip of the drink that she had been clutching but was stopped by him.

"Where did you get that?" He questioned.

"Some guy gave it to me." It took everything in her to gulp down the feeling of nausea in her throat - bound to give out any moment now after what just happened, but luckily, her body seemed to agree that she should hold it in longer.

"Here, have mine instead," He took her drink and gave his instead. She gladly obliged and took her sip, the liquid kind of stung in her throat, but weirdly, she liked it.

She watched her surroundings while lying her head on the headboard boringly; everyone was either chattering and laughing with each other or they were just that drunk and barely understood what was going on. For a while, he kind of let her take in the surroundings before finally noticing that she was spaced out. Her drink, well his technically, was quickly running out and he decided to look into her eyes for the first time in a while.

"You want to get out of here?" He leaned in closer to her while asking the question.

Regardless of how many times she convinced herself that the fact about her boyfriend wasn't true, somehow, she found herself shaking her head to his genuine offer. "You know what, I'll go, you stay." She retorted, was already quick on standing up and out of the door before he could even change her mind.

Stupidly letting herself get lost in the chaotic house to find a bathroom nearby even though last time that wasn't really mission accomplished. However, she couldn't go back to the room with her boyfriend inside, not when she was such a mess after the revelation that was still not yet proven to be accurate.

As she walked past a lot of people making out or chattering while crowding the very confined stairs, she was happier when she found that the bathroom was actually upstairs and closer than ever. Hurriedly making her way towards it and the first thing that she did was put down her cup on the sink as she looked at herself in the mirror. She had no idea what the procedures were at that point, especially when all things were still unclear to her. Not even the information came from an unreliable source could get her to believe that the guy who literally just took care of her and made sure that she was safe at this party, would do such a thing to her.

Not after... that night.

The knob on the door clicked all too suddenly, making her wince in surprise as her next actions was to jump in to the toilet before the people on other side could even make eye contact with her. She was incapable of doing that at the moment. Apparently the people who just came in were a bunch of girls who were now talking in annoyance and laughing in their squeaky little voice that irritated her to the core.

"Can you believe that Wesley fucking Pratt?" One girl said. The tone in her voice was clearly annoyed.

"No, what did he do now?" Another girl jumped in, the sound of running water from the sink came on the next.

"Well, basically he made a pass at me tonight, thinking that I'd get to sleep with him again just because I did last time," The first girl who started the conversation revealed.

"That jerk has some nerves!" Another girl suddenly chimed in, different from the other two then spoke again. "Doesn't he have a girlfriend, though? What's the name again, Em-something," She added.

"Please, Wesley Pratt doesn't do girlfriend," The second girl declared. "I would know because as soon as he gave away that stupid rose to me after our, you know, he barely even looked at me." She spat.

"Well, I just feel sorry for whoever is his next victim though," The last girl concluded. "I just hope she never fell for his sweet acts and did it like the rest of us."

Then another fit of laughter echoed throughout the bathroom, except for the one stall that was filled with muffled whimper. "Oh come on, Ky, when you sleep with Wesley Pratt, that does guarantee a spot in the social ladder." The girl said, laughing.

"You may be right about that," The other girl agreed.

The faucet was turned on again followed by a voice after that, "Of course I'm right." Then with one last chuckle, she and the other girls were leaving the bathroom finally after having their little session in gossiping and touch-up in their makeup perhaps. It took the girl hiding in the stall a while before she was finally bracing herself to come out after hearing about yet another heart-wrenching information. For sure, consider herself proven right now.

Despite Emma's legs still feeling a lot like jelly and more wobbly, she decided to get out of there and call herself a cab instantly. If that wasn't possible, seeing as how late it was getting, she'd walk or hitchhike if she had to. Anything but staying in there, looking at him - pretending that he actually cared about her and saying all those fake sweet stuff to her.

She had no idea how many steps it took her to get to her house but as soon as she made it, she refused to go through the front door but climb into her window instead. Not caring about the scratches that were caused by the tree and all the other things, honestly that kind of hurt was the least of her worry as of now. All she wanted to do was bury herself in a pile of blanket, never to be seen again. She felt like a complete and utter shit that the moment she finally landed herself on the floor of her bedroom, the first thing that her eyes gazed at were the rose inside a vase resting on the desk - possibly laughing and mocking her senselessly. 

She walked towards it and broke the vase on the floor scattering all the pieces then picked up the rose along the way. Sitting on her bed, it was clear that she was holding in the tears and getting angrier by the second that her next move was kind of obvious. Tearing all the petals one by one, making sure that it was all ruined and fell right into the vase that had just broken on the floor. Once it was all over, it wasn't relief that she felt. In fact, that hadn't come yet. But she went to snuggle in her bed anyway tonight, covering herself up from head to toe, without even changing her outfit beforehand.

One thought came to mind. Wesley Pratt was dead to her.