#shout out to my bestie Blue who absolutely HATES it when i eat kitkats like this lol

[thelooniemoonie]

Tis the season of Halloween, so allow me to share with you my favorite form of psychological torture. Do with this as you wish

Eat a Kitkat in front of someone like this.

They will have at least 3 new mental illnesses after witnessing it. Have fun!

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Changing (12)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, X-MEN, DEADPOOL

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION - Sequel to Name Calling

After merging with your bloodthirsty alternate personality things start getting a little dicey. You’ve got two decades worth of anger to sort through, a feral mutation to figure out how to live with, a biological father who you hate trying to teach you control and if your wedding planner suggests teal for the bridesmaids again you might just eat her liver.

Luckily you have Bucky Barnes by your side, helping you figure things out. What Bucky doesn’t know is that you have found an outlet for the uncontrollable rage, one that absolutely nobody can know about. If your friends and family knew that you were out slaughtering people in the dead of night while they slept, they might be a little annoyed. Wade Wilson is happy to keep your secret though, so long as you keep bribing him with Mexican food.

For as long as you could remember, all you had wanted was to be good. Now you’re seeing the temptation in the darkness.

  Twelve - The Hens

“Ladies... and boys. Please join me in raising your glasses for my best friend...”

 “My Best friend.” Sam interrupted.

 “I think we all know that Daddypool is her best friend.” Wade interjected.

“Alright, tell these jokers I’m your bestie so I can finish my toast.” Darcy demanded, turning to you.

 “Yeah, Peaches, who do you love the most?” Wade added.

 Sam just looked at you expectantly.

 “Alright, you want me to settle this once and for all?” You asked them.

 “Yes.” They said in unison.

 “You really want to know why my best friend is, who I love most. Besides Bucky, my parents and Erlo?” You double checked.

 “YES!”

 “Are you sure?”

 “Just tell us or I’m going to taze you.” Darcy threatened.

 You leaned in like it was a secret.

 “Well it’s not one of the two idiots I had to bail out of jail.” You said.

 “That was Douchepools fault!” Sam whined as Darcy cackled.

 “Do you think she’ll taze me if I ask nicely?” Wade whispered to you and you shot him a thumbs up.

 “As I was saying... Please raise your glasses for the gorgeous, sexy, slightly terrifying boss ass QUEEN that is MY best friend.” Darcy announced and everyone raised their glass to toast you.

 You swallowed the champagne and pouted, it was supposed to have Asgardian liquor in it. You threw a betrayed look at Natasha and she winked at you as a waiter came over with a tray of drinks and put them down in front of you.

 “One of every Avengers themed cocktail for the bride to be.” He said, grinning at you as your friends hollered.

 “Oh My God.” You laughed.

 “Who you going to start with?” Rouge asked, looking intrigued.

 “Well, it all started with Tony so...” You picked up the bright red martini with gold lustre dust around the edges of the glass and toasted them with it before swallowing it in one gulp.

 “Aaaaand there’s the Asgardian liquor.” You coughed.

 “Oh, do Cap next!” Darcy shouted and you obliged, picking up the red white and blue shot and knocking it back.

 “Do I even want to know what’s in The Hulk?” You asked.

 “Half a pint of absinthe and lime juice.” Natasha answered and you grimaced as you downed it.

 “My turn.” Natasha purred and pushed the glass of Blackcurrant flavoured Russian Vodka at you.

 “Sharp, cold and deadly. Very appropriate. You taste great Nat.” You sniggered after you drank it.

 “Oh, Cherry Tequila shot! That’s the Ant Man!” Scott said excitedly, reading the label and handing it to you.

 “Do all of these have Asgardian liquor in them?” You asked nervously and Natasha’s evil smirk was all the answer you needed.

 It was after The Scarlet Witch (A Scarlet O'Hara with white rum) that you started to feel woozy. You dutifully downed all of the drinks, sitting back with a sigh of relief when you were done.

 “Now for the main event! Drumroll please!” Darcy called and everyone started banging on the table as the waiter came back with a tray that had two glasses on it.

 “The Winter Soldier and The Deathwave.” He said.

 “Oh no.” You muttered.

 “Russian Vodka and Brooklyn Gin on Ice for The Winter Soldier and Black After Shock and White Tequila for The Deathwave.”

 “SO glad I’m not mortal.” You whimpered as the waiter poured the two ridiculously strong drinks into the same glass symbolically and passed it to you.

 You paused with glass at your lips and held up your hand to pause the chanting of ‘drink, drink, drink’ of your group.

 “I think, in honour of this being my Hen party for my wedding to Bucky... Everyone should have one of these. In fact a SoldierofDeath for EVERYONE HERE TONIGHT!” You yelled and everyone in the club hollered when they heard your announcement.

 You threw back the deadly concoction and whooped loudly, throwing your hands in the air.

 That was your last truly coherent memory of the evening.

 The next thing you knew, Sam and Darcy had dragged you onto a stage and thrust a microphone into your hand.

 “Sam, can you handle this?”

 “Darcy, can you handle this?”

“Kit Kat, can you handle this?”

 “I don’t think they can handle this!”

 The three of you strutted around the stage, singing Bootylicious while Wade started throwing dollar bills onto the stage and cheering.

 Sadly, or not so sadly that was not the end of karaoke as Scott jumped on stage next to sing ‘I’m so excited’ by the pointer sisters.

 “You’ve got to dance, it’s your Hen partyyyyy!” Darcy crowed and dragged you onto the dancefloor  as Rouge sang ‘Cowboy Casanova’ with a lot of gusto.

 You smirked and pulled away from her, spinning onto the dancefloor and pulling out every move that Vanessa had taught you, swaying your hips and flipping your hair. You were quickly pressed in between Nat, Darcy and Wanda as the four of you danced together.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 “We should do this more often!” Sam told you.

 “Agreed!” You said.

 “What are you two morons doing?” Darcy asked, peering under the table at you both.

 “Nothing!” You and Sam said in unison, yanking your precious chicken nuggets out of her sight.

 “Gimme a nugget or I’ll tell Wade where you are.” She bargained.

 “Fine. Sam, give her a nugget.”

 “Why me? You give her one.” He insisted.

 “Both of you give me one!” You ordered and you and Sam grumbled and handed your treasure over the her.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 “Peaches, they’re playing our song!” Wade said, dragging you away.

 It was halfway through you and Wade grinding on the dancefloor to ‘Stayin Alive’ that the argument started.

 “I’m stronger, plus I have to whole Deathwave thingy.” You protested as he twerked into you.

 “I have guns and pointy things!” He insisted.

 “I could still kick your ass!” You yelled.

 “Wanna bet?” He challenged.

 “We’re In Vegas baby!!” You yelled, holding your arms out in a clear challenge.

 “NO!” Sam yelled.

 “Not on the dancefloor. Go ouzide.” He hiccupped.

 “M’kay.” You agreed, grabbing them each by the hand and the three of you slipped away from the club, unseen by the rest of your bridal party.  

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 “Unnngh.” You groaned, rolling over to swat at the rays of sunlight blinding you.

 You had never felt closer to death in your whole life. You were dripping with sweat and if wasn’t for the cool breeze you would have melted by now.

 Breeze. Why was that weird?

 You opened your eyes a fraction and sat up rapidly at what you saw.

 Why the hell were you asleep in the middle of the desert? And why was Sam wrapped around you like a koala bear, fully decked out in his Falcon gear?

 You managed to push him away in time for you to roll to the side and retch bile onto the sand. You had a blurry memory of falling and Sam catching you before you hit the ground. He must have flown you out here before the two of you promptly passed out.

 Blearily you realised what had woken you wasn’t the heat or the sunlight, it was the quinjet engines as it landed a short way away and the ramp descended. Darcy stomped down it towards you.

 “Ugh, help.” You muttered at her.

 “I’m not here to rescue you, I’m here to live here, in the desert with you.” She groaned, falling to the ground and putting her head in your lap.

 Gradually, one by one, everyone else trudged off the quinjet and joined you on the sand, even Pepper.

 “If you and Bucky ever get divorced, I will murder you. We can’t afford another Hen Party like that.” Darcy groaned.

 “Did Wade and I try to kill each other last night?” You groaned.

 “Yes, it was on the National News.” Wanda groaned.

 “Whazzappening?” Sam mumbled, finally waking up.

 “The Hotel tried to kick us out so Tony bought it.” Pepper informed you.

 “Ugh, anything else I should know?” You asked.

 Natasha handed you your phone and you saw you has several missed calls and texts. All from Bucky.

 “Why did you have my phone?” You asked her in confusion.

 “You don’t remember?” She asked.

 “No?”

 “That’s probably for the best.” She informed you.

 “Oh no, what did I do?” You demanded, checking your call history and choking on your own saliva.

 “I called Logan? Why? What did I say?” You asked.

 “You invited him to the wedding.” She said, stifling a laugh at you.

 You groaned loudly and lay back on the sand, and one by one everyone joined you.

 “I’m getting married tomorrow.” You whispered, smiling happily.

 “WE KNOW!”

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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