#should. probably delete later tbh. pls ignore this post.

[gaylotusthatexists]

i really gotta. stop laughing when being told that people have died.

[7teentexts]

Long-Distance Relationship with Vernon

tbh i don’t really like how this turned out (i don’t hate it tho) but I can’t really think of how else could I write this. It’s the first time I post an angst scenario (with a happy ending!) in this blog and I’m sad that it didn’t turn out as good as it could have (since angst if actually one of my favorite things to write and I know I can do better than this)

But as most of you know, I’m going through writer’s block and I’m trying to write the ideas I get. I’ve been trying to finish this request for so long, and I finally did it! It’s not my best, I know, but in this condition, I tried my best, so I hope you all like it

My semi-hiatus is not over, and some things are going on in my life that don’t really make me want to do anything at all, including writing, but I’ll keep working on requests when I have time and ideas.

Thanks to everyone for reading and supporting me!! 

When you woke up and turned on your phone, the first message you were expecting to find was a good morning from your boyfriend

even though he lived very far away from you, he always took one or two minutes once in a while to let you know he was thinking of you and that he missed you

what a sweetheart, i’m soft

however, when all the notifications started appearing on the screen of your phone, you saw something that caught your attention

sure, the message from your boyfriend was still there

a cute “good morning” with a few heart emojis right next to the greeting

but a few messages from your friend sent an one hour before your boyfriend had messaged you caught your eye

so you decided to reply to her before texting Hansol

“(Y/N) did you read the article????

i can’t believe it, like- it might not be true, but the pictures-

omg if it’s true i’m going to kill him for doing this to you

(Y/N)??? are you asleep???

then you probably haven’t read it yet

you wouldn’t sleep peacefully knowing about that

(Y/N) pls wake up”

You were starting to worry a little about whatever she was talking about

she was right, you hadn’t read any articles about anything lately

so no, there wasn’t anything that could have made you feel anxious enough to not let you sleep

“What are you talking about? I didn’t read anything” you texted her

and not even one minute after sending it, she replied

“there’s an article about Vernon dating!!!”

an article about him dating???

did they find out about your relationship???

but how? you two lived very far away and hadn’t seen each for… 5 months?

and at that time you two didn’t even go out, because you were too tired from the long trip to go to South Korea

so

if it couldn’t be a rumor of vernon dating you……..

……

“send me the link of the article rn.

also, tell me it’s from a trustworthy website and not one of those random clickbait articles from soompi or something like that”

“iT’S NOT SOOMPI AND IT IS TRUSTWORTHY

i think

see it for yourself”

so you opened the link she sent you and were greeted by the title “SEVENTEEN’S VERNON WAS SEEN IN A DATE WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND?”

even while scrolling down and reading the article, you didn’t want to believe it, but that didn’t stop a feeling of uneasiness from clouding your mind

and the pictures of him with a girl in different parts of a city and even different stores didn’t really help

‘ok, i should talk to hansol about this’

but guess what

you don’t

you start writing your “good morning” to reply to his message and start a conversation before bringing it up

but then you delete it and lock your phone

you can’t help but feel scared

you trust hansol

if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be with him even when you could only visit him once in a while when you saved enough money

and he couldn’t really visit you because as an idol, he couldn’t just travel to where you were on his few days off

so

after being apart for so long

what if, even if you trusted him and didn’t want to believe that, he just didn’t feel as attached to you as he did before

you loved him so much, maybe after all he didn’t want to hurt you and that’s why he didn’t want to break up with you

‘that’s stupid, right?’ you asked yourself in your mind

and it is stupid tbh, very stupid, silly u

but you still felt anxious and didn’t feel like you could talk to him, at least not at that moment

you got ready to go out and get some fresh air, thinking it’d help you calm down and try to forget about the idea you just came up with

you know, the one about hansol not being in love with you anymore

so once you were ready, you just put your phone inside your purse and then went out of your house

but

it didn’t really help

when you got home, you were less anxious, and that feeling of tightness inside your chest was almost gone

you were almost sure it’d come back later, since after all, you weren’t able to get rid of the idea of him falling in love with someone else 

someone who, even tho he might not see everyday, at least wouldn’t be so far away and make it so hard to see each other without videocalls

you got more messages from him

asking how you were

asking if you had eaten yet a while after the hour you usually have lunch at

asking if you were busy after you read his messages and you didn’t reply

and after more hours of you basically ignoring his messages, he asked if you were okay and if you wanted to talk

still, you didn’t respond and told yourself that you’d talk to him the next day

the next morning, you didn’t have any new messages from him

and you knew why 

he always gave you some space to be alone when you were upset and didn’t want to talk about it

and probably, even at that moment when you were doubting if your relationship could keep going like this

he was still considering your feelings and didn’t want to send you more messages to not make you feel as if he’s putting pressure on you to make you talk

you took a deep breath and finally started typing a message

“i’m sorry that i ignored you”

you waited for more or less 5 minutes, but he wasn’t online

and you didn’t feel like waiting

if you did, you migh back out and you wanted to talk to him about it

and if what you feared was actually true

then, because you truly did love him, you’d let him go

you were sure he’d do the same if he were in your position

“i read the article, and saw the pictures”

in case he hadn’t seen it himself, you sent him the link of the article you had read the previous day

“it’s okay, i’m not really angry”

you weren’t lying when you said you weren’t mad, you weren’t disappointed either

your image of him wouldn’t change if everything turned out to be true

but you were just sad and scared of getting your heart broken

he could have fallen out of love, but you hadn’t

“you don’t have to be afraid of telling me if you want to break up. You know I’ll respect your decision

Just please, if this is all true, you don’t have to hide it from me, that will only make things worse for me, because I do love you with all my heart

So please, just tell me”

Another 5 minutes passed, and you know it was a short time and shouldn’t expect a response so soon, but you were so nervous and your heart was beating so fast that you wished he’d reply right after you sent the last message

But he didn’t, so you had to get up from your bed and try to do something until he finally read your messages

You didn’t have time to do much before the door bell rang

You just showered, brushed your teeth after eating breakfast and put on some clothes to go grocery shopping

Apparently, for the person behind the door, you were taking too long to answer or open the door, so they rang the door bell again and again

“I’m coming! Just give me a second!” You yelled as you made your way from the living room to the entrance, grabbing a jacket before opening the door (since you were still planning to go shopping after taking care of whatever this person needed

you knew it wasn’t your friends because they would have contacted you first (or you hoped they would)

but when you opened the door, you weren’t expect to see hansol standing right in front of you

he looked serious and he didn’t move even after you opened the door

he didn’t say anything either

‘am i dreaming?’ you thought and rubbed your eyes slightly, blinking a few times after that

but he was still there

and before you could say anything, he took you in his arms and hugged you tightly

“Hansol…?” You called his name in a whisper, but he still took a few seconds to finally answer 

“I’m sorry”

You didn’t say anything and just wrapped your arms around him, hugging him back

“It’s okay, I told you” you said, refering to your messages

“It’s not okay” he responded

“I’m not going to leave you, I guess that’s what you thought after seeing that, but I haven’t stopped loving you, I can only love you”

After hearing that, you slowly pulled away to look into his eyes and saw that they were shining

but not in their usual way, when he’d smile looking at you and his eyes had their own special spark

instead, they were full of tears

Seeing him like that made you tear up too, but you didn’t want to cry

If you did, he would cry too, and you didn’t want to see him cry

once again, you know he’d do the same for you if he were in your position

“What are you doing here? When did you get here?”

“We’re going to record some things for our next come back here.”

you felt so bad with yourself

it was all a misunderstanding, he didn’t need to say anything else to let you know that

but still, in just 2 days, you let the idea you got in the heat of the moment after reading the article get to your head and almost destroy your relationship with him

“How did you know how to get to my house?”

“I didn’t know”

you tilted your head to the side slightly, looking at him in confusion

the tears in his eyes were slowly drying as things calmed down and so were yours

“I was looking around the city trying to find the street where you lived reading your address on that letter you sent me when you moved here. I didn’t want to ask you because I wanted to surprise you, but not like this.”

“I’m so sorry, Hansol, I shouldn’t have assumed anything just from that article-”

“No, don’t apologize, because maybe I would have done the same. I understand how you feel.”

You looked away from him after hearing that

Even if he said he wasn’t upset and understood what made you think of that, you still weren’t convinced and still felt bad about yourself

“It’s because we love each other that we worry about possible chances of one of us falling in love with someone else, and it’s even worse being in a long-distance relationship, where you just can’t know what’s happening until I tell you”

He grabbed your hands and your eyes met his again

“Then… Who was that girl? What about the pictures inside some shops?”

You were doubting him anymore, but those two details were still a little unclear to you

“She’s a staff member. There were others around here, and Seungkwan was around there with us too. And, I was looking for something in those shops.”

After saying that, he let go of your hands and took a small box out of the bag he had hung from one of his shoulders

when he opened it and showed its contents to you, you saw two beautiful rings inside

“They’re promise rings.”

After hearing those words, your first reaction was to cover your face with your hands and close your eyes to stop the new tears forming in your eyes from rolling down your cheeks

But soon, Hansol was pulling your hands away from your face and sliding one of the rings on your ring finger, before giving you the other one so you could put it on his ring finger

“I’m sorry, Hansol” you said one last time before sliding the ring on his finger, but he was still smiling at you as he shook his head slightly

“Don’t be. I told you, I know it must have been hard. I know you were just worried and scared. I know you too much.

And I love you too much too, but too much is not enough.”

After hearing his last words, you giggled a little, and blinked a few times to try and get rid of the tears still in your eyes

“You’re so cheesy” you said, letting him embrace you again while chuckling at your response

“Aren’t you going to say you love me too?”

“I love you too, too much.”

there were a few seconds of silence, of you just enjoying being in each other’s arms, of thinking of the promise you just made to each other with those rings

“We might be separated now, but our hearts are one.

One day, we will meet again, and then we will never be apart again

Until that day, always know that I will love you.”

[angel-nero]

11 questions...

I was tagged by @pureren @zaevran @glaspaladin @z-ayauitl and @kcgane ty so much !!! ♥

RULES: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

my questions…

1. what’s the worst piece of clothing you own?

2. what’s the coolest piece of uh fashion that is so cool you can’t even wear to go out? lol

3.- what book have you read that you feel it has been the worst?

4.- What’s the healthiest meal you actually like?

5.- do you love keith kogane? (or vld keith lmfao what u prefer to use)

6.- something paranormal ever happened to you? if yea, what?

7.- do you get jealous easily? with who? (friends, popular ppl, talented ppl, the s/m)

8.- what’s the cutest thing you own?

9.- what are your favorite crisps?

10.- do you have a favourite drink?

11.- can you tell im hungry? what hobby you wish you liked or wish you did?

i tag: @kukinta​ @kittyr0se​ @heirith​ @liesfromsatansbuttcheeks​ @sheith-love-always​ @acequeenm​ @blessedkeith​ @lukaspatel​ @ke1th​ @ace-pidge​ @keith8​ but only if you want to!

TESSA’SS AND!! TAMI’S QUESTIONS1!!!

1.  Do you connect with people easily?

mmm, I don’t becos im a very quiet person and can be w u w/o talking at all and I get overwhelmed by convos I don’t care about also it’s kinda hard to win my trust and also interest lol. I’m nice tho, i mite not be enjoying myself but i’ll forev b nice w u.  

2. Did something good happen to you this week?

uH yeah, i’m doing things to improve my health, i did my uni exam, im frEE, i finally don’t have to go to rEliGIoUs classes aNYMORE and UH,,, i got a diet to win weight and its cool i get to eat ESQUITE LMFAO. i will see my bffs in friday and i have browney mix there i should bake but im lazy

3. What’s the personality trait that annoys you most in other people?

When people pretend to like something just 2 b friends w someone or ME, do you know we can be total dif and maybe still b friends if u cOOL. Ass kissers, hypocrisy, LIES LOL. I don’t like fake ppl at all.

4. If you could participate in any existing tv reality show, which one would you choose?

The ones where they change ur style and buy clothes for u 2 love urself and do ur hair and make up and buy u xpensive undies. I loved that crap when i was in secondary school lmao

5. What’s something you’re insecure about?

That I can’t be in one place without wanting tofuckin run, the fact that i can’t eat w ppl at all, that i have to go to the fucken gYM

6. What’s your favourite way to hang out with friends?

:’)) well,,, i go to my bff’s house or they come. If im fine then walk around my neighborhood cus it’s nice ahaha anxiety am i rite. oKAY, even if i get anxiety i like ice skating, or roller skating, i have a lot of fun. My friend want us to go to this pixies concert and im like :(( boo i love u

7. What’s your favourite fic trope?

lol idk,,,,, pining? mutual pining? no pining and they getting to know therngs im melttin sTOP idk…… it depends on whAT shIP. I just know i’ll read any fake dating of my otp. idk idk duuuude i legit don kno. It’s not a trope but i love crunchy feelings, showefjsid fksjnj its hard to talk about this im sOrry

8. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve liked in the past?

hahahahahaha my crush

9. What do you consider to be the best period of your life?

When I was 14. I went to parties more than i go to them now lol, i drank and smokkd w who where my best friends back theN i know it’s whack. we used to go to roller skate? all the damn time and did sleepovers and everything was funny, we practically lived together and my friend that was 16 drove us to places lmao,, everything was so good. but like, dont imagine me too wild i only smokd like 5 cigs in my life and hookah and we even broke one.

10. What do you consider to be the worst period of your life?

mpghgg, when i turned 15,,, in the middle of it everythin went to shit to the actual date. But im trying to change that

11. How did you meet your best friend?

I met her,,,, 11 years ago. Look, I usually have best friends in pack. I have 3 bffs at the moment, one of them sat next to me in 2nd year of primary school. IDK how i got to actually know my absolute bff tho but we did a lot of weird shit. we also met in the same classroom and she was my bff back then. The third one was also a frind but not so much during those years. Later i changed of classrooms and shit and bonded more when I was 14 w 6 friends and those r i did crazy shit w but we got separated and stopped talkin and they invited me to the club a week before my uni exam but i was high on meds and sick af. and never replied also going to meet em again at the club makes me nervous af tbH…. I have had a lot of super close friends in my life wTf. In my new school i have also 7 friends that r super close.And we’re also a pack of bffs. I actually had a hard time to use the word bestfriend lol, not bc of me havin a lot or anythin, i was just emo i guess

BEX’S QUESTIONS YOo

1. What’s the strangest nickname you’ve ever been given?

:))))))))))))))))))))))))) gabhole, gabaloney, TETI THAT SOUNDS LIKE TITTY. now ft Aztec secret 

2. Do you like to gossip?

UMMMMMM,, i dont like to listen to another ppl judging someone, I hate it and i normally tell them to stop. it depends i guess

3. Are you afraid of the dark? um,,, no but i dont like it lol

4.Have you ever been stung by a bee?

no, but i steppeddd on one. I also was pickin a tree and till this day i dont knoW wTF it was but i had something big in my middle finger and it fucken hurt like a bitch and i had A BALL on it UGHHHHH I HATE BUGS

Bigfoot or mothman? fucking none

Do you trust anyone with your life? i mean, idk

Do you have any habits you wish you could break? yEAH, to stop tweeting my mental breakdowns is one lmao. 

Would you go ghost/alien hunting? 

both tbh, who wants to break into abandoned houses w me, i live in front of one,,, i mean not so infront but in the row of houses infront of me lmao english whO? dude rosetta stoned by tool is my aesthetic, alien stuff. bex listen to it pls

Best pickup line? (you’ve heard or used on you/you’ve used)

u r the best chair *proceeds to sit on em* keith to shiro probably

Mint or fruit gum?

I dont like gum much cos it makes me hungry or thirsty. I also drink too much soda to fuck w mint stuff :(( say that to the mints i bought lol :( i only eat halls or gum bc im nerves w ppl so they stopped bein a thing i enjoy for me lol. i do that since im like,,, uh,,, idK 15. it fuckd my stomach

What do you want to be remembered for?

I mean if I have to pick and b unrealistic, for art maybe,,, or for the thing i end up working with, like architecture or somethin. Art, def art cus i like art so much

ZURI’S QUESTIONS!!!

1.-if you had to chose one thing to eat for the rest of your life what would it be? 

I MEAN THIS QUESTION IS THE DEVIL I GET TIRED OF EVERYTHING TO THE POINT I DONT WNAN EAT ANYTHING I WILL JUST IGNORE IT SSAYS ONE AND SAY MEXICAN FOOD

2.- what are you most afraid of? Mental illnes and being ill and living 

3.- do you have a favorite place to visit?

I mean,,,, i love walking in the center? centre? of my city bc is like going to another place. Is also fucking Cuba in there. Everyone says that, my dad asked a cuban marine he met if it was true and he said it was ‘’ the fackin same’’ So its like,,, travelling in time and places. also the beach and the port.

4.- what type of weather you enjoy the most?

I need the sun, otherwise i get sad… i like cloudy w sun. I just like to go out in the afternoon tho lol so like,,, sun pls so the sky can turn pinkish

5.- do you have a rare ability like dislocating your thumb or moving your eyes really fast?

i move my tongue real real fast and also can do the cherry knot thing and uh i can like, be aberrantly stupid too. hey but dont fuk w me and bother me 4 bein stupid, i will fist fite u and i mite b stupid but i will also mite think u r stupid if i don like u so fuk off. Dam,,, i get like, bothered so easy LOL like, think u r better than me and i’ll fist fite u LMFAO WHY THO I SUK, but like, if not bothered, i think of everyone as my equal… wow this was not the question

6.- do you think it would be easier to create one universal lenguage or an accurate translator? nO… dont delete culture like that,,, an accurate translator mite come in handy u kno but like, some languages have words that don’t exist in others so like :-/

7.- is there something that soothes you no matter what? um no i wish

8.- favorite piece of clothing? boots and thights

9.- is there a song stuck in your head right now? YEAH dig down by muse i love it, every1 says it sUCLks but i can’t stop listenin to it

10.- why is your favorite animal your favorite animal? i don play favs but i love the honey badger bc of this pleas fuckin watch it and THIS

11.- morning person or late riser? Oh,, i cant wake up to save my life so late riser

SUNNY’S QUESTIONS!!!

1. do you have any plushies? a LOT but im like,,, they r in my wardrobe and i luv em but like,,, they’re all gifts,,, did u kno one of my past bffs bought me a dino for christmas?

2. have you ever walked out the cinema before? 

Yeah, i love drive’s aesthetic and Ryan gosling a lot but is SO boring so idk if my friends and I got kicked out or we prefered to get out to talk haha. 

3. if you could have a mascot what would it be and why?

A CHINCHILLA, they’re a irl pokemon and they r so cUTE

4. what would your theme song be? kool thing, sonic youth maybe or is she weird by pixies. All Over the world by pixies too lol

5. do you have any phrases or sayings you find yourself coming back to often? not really, im so bad at remembering sayings and quotes

6what’s the nearest object to your right? a book called azul by ruben dario

7. would you rather live in the big city or out in the middle of nature? 

Big city forever. I love high? buildings a lot. I dont do that well in the rural life lmao 

8. are you working on any creative projects right now (fic/art/music/photography/ect) Nope at all and das sad cus i should b doing art lmao

9. what’s your favourite movie score? idk what is score… but the soundtrack of trainspotting is one of my favs… oh but score… aghgsdhaj any tarantino movie tbh or wes anderson movie… or before I disappear or demolition oR southpaw or the girl w the dragon tattoo

10. i say vol you say….? uuhhhhh,,,,,  vol….tron??? (ICONIC, I MELT, I LVOE HIM)