#should probably call the house insurance company again and get this shit figured out but also i feel like throwing up so

[cuntylittlesalmon]

🫡

[hangovercurse]

Stay With You

You get the call after Rook’s accident and go to the hospital to take care of him.

Requests: “ Could you maybe write another Rook story about where you get the call after his accident that he’s in the hospital and just always staying there with him and when his dad shows up he sees you leaning on the bed sleeping holding Rooks hand or something and he knows you’ll take care of him? I just really love Rook “ “ I was wondering if you know what happened to rook and if you could write something cute like taking care of him after being worried at first about him. I had a mental breakdown when we got the news I'm hoping he gets well soon ���

JP “Rook” Cappelletty X Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of the accident (violence, broken bones, etc.), angst

A/N: I have been following every update from Rook and his Dad bc I have been so worried. It looks like he’s finally able to go home tonight but I’m still going out of my mind. I tried my best to do what happened justice (without being too depressing) and ended up needing a part 2. I had to reread what happened like 30 times so y’all better enjoy this just for my heartbreak alone. 

Word Count: 3409

part ii

You were always scared when you got a phone call from an unknown number when Rook was out for the night. You’d gotten calls from the police station and hospital more than once, so you’d learn to expect trouble when your phone rang.

But this was not what you were expecting.

“Excuse me, is this Y/N Y/L/N, the emergency contact for JP Cappelletty?” A female’s voice rang out through the line. You rolled your eyes.

“This is her, what did he do this time?” You smiled, figuring he’d gotten hurt doing something stupid and just needed stiches.

She cleared her throat, “Mr. Cappelletty has been involved in a serious accident. He’s currently at Southern California Hospital awaiting treatment.”

You felt like your entire body stopped working. Your throat closed up and you started shaking. A normal phone call wouldn’t use the words “serious accident,” they would just say he’d been admitted for “minor treatment.”

“Can I come see him?” You barely got the words out, mind spinning in a million directions. The lady on the end of the phone gave you an affirmation and you thanked her, hanging up quickly and packing a small bag for you and Rook. You threw some of his clothes in, some hygiene supplies for you both, and anything else you could think he’d want. You texted your boss a quick explanation and asked for the next few days off before grabbing your keys, wallet, mask, and Rook’s insurance cards, and heading out the door.

You drove to the hospital, calling Colson on your way, on speaker, of course. “Whaddup?”

“Rook is in the hospital.” You rushed out, still in a bit of a panicked mode.

You could hear his breathing pause before he continued, “it’s probably nothing, you know Rook. He probably just punched a guy or something stupid.”

You had tried to convince yourself of that, but something felt wrong about it. “I know, but the hospital said he was in a serious accident.” You emphasized the word “serious.” “Maybe I’m overreacting but I have this really bad feeling right now.”

Colson’s voice held more worry after your statement, too. “Okay. Just get there and figure out what’s going on and then call me. What hospital is he at?”

“Southern California.”

“That’s like 10 minutes away from me. If it is serious, just call me back and I can be there.” His voice was much calmer than yours, which you were thankful for.”

“Okay.”

“And Y/N,” He paused, “try to stay calm. If it is bad, he’s gonna need you to take care of him.”

You took in a deep breath, trying to slow your heartrate. “Yeah, yeah okay. Thanks.”

“Let me know what’s going on.”

“I will. Thank you, Kells.” You hung up the phone, pulling into the hospital parking garage and turning your car off. You sat in the dark for a few moments, gathering your thoughts, before heading towards the hospital. When you reached the front desk, you gave them Rook’s name and waited as they read your temperature from the touchless thermometer. You had to stop yourself from groaning as she started reading the Covid questionnaire, answering no to every question.

The lady gave you directions to his room, telling you they’ll take your ID once you get up to the fourth floor. Your hands were shaking as you rode the elevator up, and you tried to calm yourself down before you saw your boyfriend. Colson was right, you worrying wouldn’t do anything but make him nervous.

You gave your ID to the security guard on the fourth floor, impatiently waiting for him to print out your visitor’s sticker. Once you had put it on, you walked down the hallway, counting the room numbers to find his. Once you reached the door, you took a deep breath, unsure what you would find beyond it.

You opened it slowly, a sigh of relief when you saw him sitting on the bed, an ice pack pressed against his face. “Babe!” His face lit up when he saw you. He tried to lean forward on his own, but his grimace told you that it hurt him too much.

You smiled, setting the bag in your hands on the floor and adjusting the bed so he didn’t have to lean. “What happened?” You whispered, taking in his state, and pulling down your mask. He had a small bruise under his left eye and there were wires and tubes running up his left arm. His right arm was wrapped in layers of hospital bandage.

He frowned at you, left hand reaching for your hand and motioned you to sit down beside him, so you did, gently.  You wanted to hold his hand, but you were worried it would hurt him more, so you settled to rubbing his thigh gently. “I was walking around in the hills, and then these two guys came out of fucking nowhere. They jumped me and my friend and took a bunch of our shit. I punched one of them but the other one ran to his car and said he had a gun.” Your eyes went wide. “He didn’t have a gun, but he did have a car. And he literally came full speed at me and his partner.”

You tried to stay calm, but his recount of the night made you want to wrap him in bubble wrap and keep him in your house forever. “That sounds so scary, love.” You whispered, your free hand reaching out and stroking his right cheek. He leaned his head into your touch, a small smile on his face. “Did anyone see anything? Or does anyone know who they were?”

He shook his head lightly, “the guy in the car got away, but the other dude got hit too. Pretty sure he’s in this hospital. The cops came in and asked about it earlier, but I’d never seen those guys before.”

You nodded, leaning in, and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I’m very glad you’re okay.” You moved the ice pack from his face, observing the purple mark on his face. You may not know how to take care of broken bones, but you’d been with Rook through more than a few bruises and busted lips. You peppered kisses over the skin lightly, making him smile, which was the best thing you could do at the moment.

“The doctors are supposed to come back in soon. They did some X-Rays earlier to figure out exactly what’s broken, but my hand is definitely fucked up, and my legs.” He raised his right arm, showing you the cuts that ran along it. You frowned. “They said I’ll probably need surgery, which sucks.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” Your voice was soft. You reached your hand to move his braids out of his face, something you’d gotten in the habit of doing quite often.

He shrugged, “I’m fine with it, you’re the one who has to take care of me afterwards.” You smiled and shook your head teasingly.

“I do that anyways, loser.” You chuckled, before a thought popped into your head. “Should I call your dad? I told Colson but I didn’t think to call your dad.”

He shook his head lightly, “Once they told me they’d called you I texted him. He said he’d be here in an hour or so.” You nodded, moving to sit in the chair beside the hospital bed so you could be at eye level with your boyfriend instead of leaning down uncomfortably. “What did Kells say?”

You chuckled, “he said you’d probably just gotten in a fight or did something stupid.” Rook pouted dramatically. “I told him we’d let him know what was going on later and he could come to the hospital if you were up for it.”

He smiled at you as you leaned your head onto the bed, near his abdomen, and looked up at him. He reached to rest his hand on top of yours, even though you could tell it hurt him to do so. You sat in silence for a few moments until you heard a small knock on the door. “Come in.” Rook called, and you sat up, putting on your mask and turning to see who was coming in.

A woman in her early 40s walked in, followed by two younger men. “Hello again, Mr. Cappelletty. I’ve got the results from your scans.” She spoke as the other two placed X-Ray films onto a small lightboard in the room. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you had company.” She said as she noticed you.

“Oh, it’s okay Dr. Tambi, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” He smiled, looking towards you. You smiled kindly at the doctor. “She can stay, right?” He asked, his hand curling around yours lightly, you could feel the motion straining him and you flipped your hand around, holding his in yours lightly. You hoped it would hurt him less.

Dr. Tambi gave a nod and flashed you a smile, “of course.” She turned back to the films, pointing at the first one. “This is your left hand. If you look at this part right here, you can see where your second metacarpal fractured at the bottom near the carpal.” She raised her right hand, pointing to the bottom of her pointer finger near the knuckle. “So, we’re going to need to do a minor surgery to fix that up a little bit.” Rook nodded and you ran your hand up and down his arm gently. “Your right hand got off a bit easier,” she pointed to the next X-Ray. “No surgery, we’re gonna put it in a cast for a little while just in case but it might be off before you even leave the hospital.” You could feel him relax under your touch at that.

“But then your legs,” she pointed to the next images, “are a bit more complicated. I would imagine they took a brunt of the hit, correct?” She asked. He nodded again and you bit your lip, trying not to cringe at the image of your boyfriend being hit by a car. “The lower portion of your right tibia shattered into 3 pieces.” She pointed to the bone fragments in the X-ray, and this time a shiver physically went through your body. “So, we’ll need to do surgery to fix that up, too. And your left ankle has a hairline fracture that won’t need surgery, but you will have to stay off of it for a while.”

You looked at Rook, taking in the clench of his jaw. He was trying to look tough, but you could see through him, you always could. You knew he wouldn’t ask, so you did. “How long will they take to heal?”

He turned towards you, a soft smile on his face. You two worked so well because you balanced him out. Whenever he would almost get into a fight at a bar, you would be the rational one to pull him away. When you got too stressed out or uptight, he knew just how to get you to relax. When he was too nervous to think straight, you were there to ask all the right questions. You took care of each other, and you could read him like an open book.

“The left hand won’t need to stay in a cast for very long if the surgery goes well, but the left leg might be in a boot for 6 to 8 weeks, and the right leg will probably be a little bit longer, closer to 8 to 12 weeks.” Rook took in a deep breath, and the hand on his arm squeezed lightly, subtly telling him that you were there for him, and he would be okay. “Once we get the surgeries out of the way we can talk more about the treatment plan going forward, so try not to worry about it too much.” She smiled.

One of the men stepped forward, “I’m Dr. Stenson, I’ll be the anesthesiologist working with you.” Rook nodded towards the man, who continued to go over what Rook could and couldn’t do before the surgery. “How often do you drink or smoke?” He asked, and you let out a small chuckle.

Rook shoved you lightly, a small smile on his face. “Often.” He said, and you tried not to laugh.

“And what do you smoke?” He asked.

You mumbled under your breath, “what doesn’t he smoke is the better question.” Rook heard you, sending you a glare and you giggled quietly.

“Weed and cigarettes.” He said, trying to hide laughter as he watched you out of the corner of his eye. The man nodded and soon after the doctors left, leaving you and Rook alone again. “You’re so mean to me sometimes.” He pouted.

You laughed, “If it wasn’t so easy to make fun of you, I wouldn’t be so mean.”

“I got hit by a car, you have to be nice to me.” He whined and you rolled your eyes jokingly. “That’s a law.” He stated.

“Oh, is it?” You smiled, leaning forward, and pressing a kiss to his lips. “I guess I can be a little nice to you. For now.”

Rook’s expression turned serious, his eyes gazing into yours. “I’m kind of freaking out right now.” He whispered, his forehead resting against yours. “I’m not gonna be able to play for at least 8 weeks. What if I forget how to? Or what if they get into surgery and find out that it’s worse than they thought and I can never play again?”

You sighed, knowing these thoughts had been festering in him since the accident. You brought your hand up to his face, your thumb rubbing circles into his cheek. “Babe listen to me. You are the best drummer I know; you’ve been drumming for what, your entire life? You’re not gonna forget how to drum from 8 weeks off. And even if they get in there and find out its worse than they thought, which they won’t, we’ll figure it out. Everything is gonna be okay. They’ve seen worse fractures than these, trust me, they know what they’re doing.”

He nodded, letting out air through his nose. “But what if I could never drum again? I dropped out of high school. I’ve literally never done anything else except drum. I wouldn’t have money, I wouldn’t have friends because they would be touring all the time, I would lose everything.”

“You’d have me.” You whispered, “You would have me, and your dad, and all the people who really matter, even if they go on tour.”

“You would stay with me even if I was broke?” He sounded so small, so scared, and yet so amazed that you would even hint at the idea.

You frowned, confusion on your face. “I would stay with you if we were living on the streets and eating out of trash cans. But we wouldn’t be, because I also have a job and you’re going to be able to drum in no time.”

You simultaneously loved and hated this side of Rook. He never showed anyone how insecure he could be, and he was so insecure sometimes. You hated seeing him so sad. But you loved it, because you were one of the only people who did see it, because he trusted you enough to let you.

You guys had been friends for years and started dating 3 years ago after he kissed you, completely sober, in the studio while he thought the other guys were taking a break (they were really spying on you two the whole time). In those three years you’d come to know just about everything about each other. You trusted him with every piece of you, and he trusted you. You’d moved in together 2 years ago, and now everyone seemed to be waiting for a ring.

You didn’t mind waiting, you didn’t need to get married to know that Rook loved you or to know that you were going to spend the rest of your life with him. It was clear in the way you looked at each other that there would never be anyone else for either of you.

“I love you.” He mumbled, bringing a smile to your lips.

“I love you too.” You pressed another slow kiss to his soft lips. He closed his eyes as you did so, relaxing into it. You realized how tired he must be. “Why don’t you take a nap, J?” You whispered, and he mumbled a sound of protest, but you could already see him struggling against his sleepiness. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.” You ran your free hand over his forehead, his braids having fallen into his face again, before adjusting his bed so he was laying down more.

It only took you 15 minutes before you fell asleep, your head resting against his stomach and hand still in his.

A little while later, Johnny rushed in the room, worry on his face until he saw the two of you. He smiled, taking a quick picture that he would definitely be showing on your wedding day. You got a good one, son. He thought to himself, feeling a sense of his pride that JP had finally found someone as good as you who would put up with his shit.

He took the seat on the wall opposite of the hospital bed. You came to consciousness 20 minutes later, finding the older man and smiling. “Hi Mr. Cappelletty.” You whispered, not wanting to wake Rook up.

“Hey, darlin’. How’s he doing?”

You looked up at your boyfriend, a soft smile on your face as you took in his peaceful features. “He’s doing good, a little freaked out, I think, but he’s good.” The man nodded, and you continued. “They’re doing surgery on his hand tomorrow and then on his leg a few days from now.”

“Damn. Did he tell you what happened? All I got was a very vague text.”

You nodded, the smile falling. “I guess these guys jumped him while he was out and one of them got in a car and hit him.” Your breathing got heavy thinking about it and you could see Johnny’s eyes widen.

He took in a deep breath, processing what you told him. “Jesus, I just thought he’d got his ass kicked at some bar.”

“So did Colson.” You let out a short laugh, your heart not in it. Your hand moved up to run over his arm again. “He’s scared he’s not gonna be able to drum again.” You whispered, tears coming to your eyes as you took in Rook’s sleeping state. For the first time since you’d gotten the call you allowed your emotions to hit you fully, thoughts of how much worse it could’ve been and how scared he must’ve felt floating through your mind.

Johnny could hear the slight crack in your voice, and he walked over to where you were sitting, pulling you into his stomach. “He’ll be okay.” He whispered, “I raised a strong kid.”

You nodded, trying to hide your sniffles. “I know, I just- I can’t stop thinking about how much worse it could’ve been. If he-.” You bit your lip, not wanting to voice the thought out loud. “I can’t lose him.” Your voice was weak, and you weren’t even sure that the words came out.

Johnny pulled you closer, “I know, sweetheart. But you have to remember that he’s okay, it wasn’t worse.” You nodded. “You’re allowed to want him to stay inside for the next few months out of fear, that’s natural. You just gotta remember how lucky we are.”

You wiped your eyes gently, smiling up at the father of your soulmate. “Thank you.” You whispered.

He nodded, “He needs to remember how lucky he is to have you. There’re not many people who would stick around with him for 3 years. Not people like you.”

You smiled softly, looking at Rook with fondness in your eyes, “I’m lucky to have him, too.”

Johnny patted your shoulder, going back to where he was sitting. You grabbed a spare pillow from the table next to you and propped it on the bed , slightly on Rook’s lap. You laid your head on it, making sure Rook’s hand was in a comfortable position in your own, and drifted off to sleep.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

raising the bar bucky barnes x reader

+++++++++

me and a friend have been re-watching the marvel movies and have started calling him Jamie because its another nickname for James. idk why we thinks its cute/funny but I'm running with it and you get to see some of that here. enjoy lol

song: i cant handle change by roar

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

Date night. Finally! It had been so long since we'd been able to just sit and relax at some random restaurant or bar or diner or wherever, and God it felt so good. Every weekend for the past month was "get in, get out, no questions asked", mission after mission. But now we were cut off. The government wanted to handle things themselves. And as excited as I was to have my Bucky bear all to myself, I knew he was more so happy he didn't have to fight anyone any time soon. He could just relax with 'his best girl' and live his life like a normal person. And that's what we were doing, sat in a booth in the back of the diner, enjoying each other's company.

"No, no, you mean to tell me that he actually did that?"

Bucky asked, looking over me intently before sipping his coffee. I nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes! And by god he was so embarrassed."

I let out a loud laugh, him shaking his head in amusement.

"I just can't believe Sam would actually do that. I mean don't get me wrong, I believe he'd be stupid enough, but to actually pull that off? No way."

I watched as he shook his head.

"There was water everywhere."

Then the door chimed, signaling someone's entry and taking both of our attention. A whole group of large, bearded men, came in talking loudly. Bucky looked a little more uncomfortable now that there were many more people in the room, something that happened a lot more recently. i knew how this usually went down, we had talked about it the first time it happened and came to an agreement. we keep the conversation going, he doesn't have to engage if he doesn't want to and if he feels uncomfortable we leave. simple as that.

"uh, but uh, he kind of recruited me. per usual when he gets himself into a mess. and it was a big one."

"ill bet."

he said quietly, looking over my shoulder and swallowing hard. i frowned, looking to the table in front of me.

"but uh we got everything figured out. the plumbing department was furious when they got to the house. and i still dont know how he got the insurance company to pay for all the damage. i mean damn, there was water running down the stairs."

i laughed a little at the end, watching his gaze shift back and forth. after a second i reached across the table and took his hand in mine.

"james..."

he sent me a look, his jaw tightening.

"jamie."

i tested and he looked to the table.

"talk to me."

"of course she has to give him permission."

i heard from behind me, all the men laughing. he sighed hard, looking over my face. they had been chatting about us since they sat down and i was trying hard to ignore them. clearly we both were.

"maybe we should go."

he said just above a whisper.

"ill ask the waitress for the check, yeah?"

he nodded as i stood.

"oh so now she gets up, gotta give him a break."

they all laughed and i paused, my face straightening and buck giving me a look.

"you got a problem?"

i asked, not turning around.

"I wasn't talking to you."

he said gruffly, still holding a laugh. i clenched my jaw.

"No but you're talking about me and someone I care about."

"Let's just go."

buck tried but i shook my head, finally turning to face the man.

"No, not until he apologies."

i said sternly.

"We both know that's not gonna happen."

bucky defended, his presence looming behind me as he stood.

"He's right darlin, why don't you just buzz off."

"I'm not your darlin, asshole."

i watched intently as he stood, moving to stand over me. he and bucky were probably about the same height but in the moment i felt bigger than both of them combined.

"What was that?"

he fumed.

"Apologize."

"No."

i clenched my fist and felt buckys hand gently against my arm.

"y/n just dont."

i looked back to him.

"you may not enjoy violence but i have no problem with it."

i growled. he looked between my eyes.

"lets just go."

he tried to pull me towards the door but the man stopped him.

"hey i wasn't done talking to her."

the man said, bucky starting to challenge him back.

"we're going man, just leave us alone."

the man looked back to me with a smirk before pushing bucky. he just sighed and shook his head.

"God damnit."

bucky said under his breath. i was already staring daggers into the guys head.

"that was a mistake."

"and whys tha-"

before the word even got out of his mouth my fist was colliding with his jaw. he had stumbled back, Bucky tripping him as he went and grabbing my hand.

"time to go."

he said, and without even thinking i was letting him drag me out of the diner.

"we didnt pay!"

i protested as he lifted me onto the back of his bike.

"im an ex assassin, not a thief, i put a twenty on the table."

he said quickly, getting on and starting it. when we both looked up the gang was coming out into the parking lot, all looking rather angry. the man stumbled out the door last.

"shit."

Bucky kick started his bike before pulling out of the space. a few of the guys were quick to get on their own but we were already gone, the diner fading into the background. i clutched onto Bucky for dear life as we wizzed down the street. you could hear the rumble of a few of the other men's bikes behind us but Bucky was weaving through traffic so much i was sure they would lose us, and then he turned down an alley way slowly.

"can we not have one day off?"

he grumbled, stepping off the bike and looking over me. i closed my eyes and shook my head for a second before swinging my leg around and sitting off the side of it.

"we had today off, its the break we need."

i mentioned, annoyed, picking my hand up to look at. the pain was starting to set in now that the adrenaline was wearing off. i looked up to him and noticed him staring down at my hand as i opened and closed it slowly.

"Shit, I hope that's not broken."

I looked down over my knuckles again. They were definitely bruised but it didn't hurt as bad as it could've. I just shrugged and slid off the side of the bike, shaking my hand out.

"I'll be fine. How are you?"

He gave me a look.

"I'm not the one that just punched a guy three times bigger than them."

I shrugged again.

"Words hurt buck, I know you. How are you doing?"

I persisted but he just sighed. When he leaned forward, trapping me between him and his motorcycle, his hands at my hips, I felt a little bit better.

"With a pipsqueak like you to defend me I'm doing just fine."

I raised my brows at him, smirk on my lips.

"You mean that?"

i tempted and He nodded solemnly.

"you know i do."

he pressed his forehead to mine and breathed deeply.

"i love you Jamie."

i said softly, pecking him on the lips. i could feel his thumbs rubbing circles into my hips as we stood there for a second. this was something that happened a lot too. the nickname had become one of those things that tended to calm him down, ground him, make him feel new since no one else had ever called him that.

"i love you too."

he whispered before pulling away. he took my bruised hand in his and kissed my knuckles.

"ready to go home?"

i asked and he nodded.

"yeah, lets get some ice for that and cuddle up on the couch."

"watch a movie?"

i inquired. he smiled a little bit before kissing me softly.

"absolutely."

[listentothelittlebird]

TW: dissociative episode

This was a whole scrapped oneshot, mostly because I couldn’t fit it in properly... I misread something on a wikipedia page and somehow ended up with “Jason revisited Ethiopia sometime during the Red Hood and the Outlaws, and had major PTSD”. I’m fairly sure I was sleep deprived at the time... (I’m honestly happy with how this one turned out, but it was just out-of-place with the rest of the other oneshots)

This is a “deleted scene” from my series on ao3, Code Bat! 

It was a quiet, peaceful night, until the comms crackled to life.

“N,” Oracle called, “RH entered Gotham an hour ago. The new Super he befriended brought him in, but he hasn’t moved from his location since. Can you go check on him?”

Nightwing frowned. Jason was in town? 

He was happy to have a chance to see his Little Wing, of course, but this was an unplanned visit. Usually he would at least radio in ahead, and dramatically announce his return by searching for them during patrol time.

Something was wrong.

“R and I are still dealing with the drug ring,” Batman grunted, “We’ll be with you as soon as we can.”

It seemed even the Bat himself was getting worried.

“I’m turning in for the night. BG’s headed towards RH right now. Let me know how he is, alright?” Spoiler paused, before adding, “I can pull an extra patrol or two, if he needs you guys for company. I’m not an official fam’ member, but I’m more than ready to help.”

Nightwing would have hugged Spoiler if she was standing next to him.

Batgirl was already at the rooftop when Nightwing arrived. She was crouched directly in front of Jason - in his Red Hood outfit, skull-like helmet still on his head - and staring. Nightwing had learnt to read Cass’ body language, and right now she was practically screaming concern. She straightened when Nightwing touched down.

“Unresponsive,” she signed, “Alive, but not there. Like the victims we saw last week.”

Nightwing sighed, a rush of air escaping his chest. It was relief mixed in with new pain, because something had happened to his brother for him to shut down. Something had triggered this.

“RH is dissociating,” Nightwing reported to the comms, “BG says he’s unresponsive. B, once you and R are done, get the Batmobile here.”

“We’re on our way,” came Robin’s tight response, crisp and serious but betraying the slightest of quivers.

In the meantime, Nightwing busied himself with removing Jason’s helmet. His face was blank, devoid of his usual snarky grin or unimpressed eye-roll. His chest was rising and falling in slow, mechanical breaths.

“We’ll take care of you, Little Wing,” Nightwing laid a hand gently on his brother’s shoulder, smiling warmly, “Take all the time you need, okay? We’ll be here.”

There was not so much as a twitch to acknowledge his words. Dick’s gut clenched tighter, even having expected the lack of response.

Batgirl had drifted away, standing several steps back. At Nightwing’s questioning glance, she murmured haltingly, “Scary.” She raised her hands to elaborate.

“No body messages. Nothing. Cannot tell what he is thinking, or if he is thinking. I’m scared for him. With other victims, it’s bad. With family...” the next motion was not proper sign language - she made a heart with her hands, then split it. 

It hurt to see family like this.

Nightwing gave a sad, quiet smile in response, and the way he turned back to eye Jason was enough to convey his agreement.

-

Jason came back to himself slowly.

He was never truly gone, not quite. Not for a while, he thinks. 

He’s… not sure about much. Just that he had been able to tell Artemis and Bizarro that he was going to pull a few strings in Gotham to get them a permanent base. 

He remembered fumbling out an address for a safe house that he had, which would be able to last his two teammates for more than a week. He remembered Biz dropping him off in Gotham. He remembered sitting down on the filthy rooftop.

He thinks Batgirl came, then Nightwing. He thinks they helped him into the Batmobile, and he thinks he saw Batman and Robin. 

He… can’t quite recall what happened next. It was like his memories were grinded to a pulp and then drained of substance, leaving behind the crusts of barely-coherent scenes. Flashes of what had happened.

He was in the Batcave, then he was being walked up the stairs to the Manor, one large arm wrapped around his shoulders, one large hand gripping firmly onto his elbow. 

There was the rustling of old paperbacks, distant and distorted, like hearing through water. 

There was Bruce, blue eyes focused on him, gazing at him and murmuring something soft.

“...here for you. You’re safe, Jaylad.”

He felt a sliver of pressure on his face.

Jason blinked. His hand rose to the spot, to where the mildest of pressures were, a calloused hand cupped against his cheek. He blinked two, three times, Bruce’s face morphing into the most genuine of smiles, even as the smell of the library and faint tightness of hunger greeted him.

“B?” Jason croaked, his voice hoarse from something more than dryness. Bruce was still quick to supply him a cup of water. The hand had yet to leave his cheek. Jason, still thrown off and trying to piece together his scattered mind, leaned into the hand even as he downed the glass.

There was a reason his throat felt scratchy. He had been screaming. Screaming at…

By the time Bruce had plucked his empty glass from his hand and set it down, Jason had jolted violently, as the realisation of how he got here, on exactly why he had returned back to Gotham, hit him like a train.

Ethiopia. The rebuilt warehouse. The living nightmare of his latest Outlaws mission.

“B?” Jason’s voice was desperate now. Logically, he knew Bruce was right there. Trying to convince his tortured mind though, as it finally came to terms with what had happened, was not as simple. 

“Dad? Dad…” Jason’s hands reached blindly for Bruce’s arms, scrambling to tighten clenched fists into the fabric of the man’s sweater. Bruce pulled Jason into his chest.

While Jason tried and failed to quell his breakdown, Bruce had maneuvered himself back onto the couch, Jason sat half in his lap and half on the couch. Jason’s arms, tight around his father’s shoulders, loosened as he let out a shaky gasp.

“We - we had a mission,” Jason rambled before he could stop himself, “Artemis was looking for something, and we were helping her look, and-“

“Jay,” Bruce cut in gently, “Don’t force yourself. Please, son.”

Jason, his forehead pressed to Bruce’s shoulder, shook his head even as he barreled on. He had to get this out before his walls went up again, before it became too blissfully peaceful to even broach the subject.

“I- fuck. We went to Ethiopia,” Jason gave a hollow laugh, even as Bruce sucked in a sharp breath of air, “It was fucking hell, B. Pretty sure they were just doing the generic torture shit on me, but they didn’t even need to do anything, really. The location was enough to…to-“ Jason’s voice cracked. There was something wet leaking out of his eyes.

“It looked exactly the same, B. I checked after - it was the same place. It was-“ Jason’s voice gave out for real, then. 

Bruce pulled him tighter, holding his son close as he cried himself dry. Bruce was just glad that Jason had been able to come back to Gotham, that his son was here for him to comfort - was willing to accept that comfort from him still, even after everything that had happened.

“You’re here,” Bruce hushes, when Jason’s sobs had died down to sniffles. He gave the boy - he would forever be a boy in his eyes - a squeeze around his broad shoulders. “You’re here.”

Jason sniffed again, and squeezed back, tight and desperate.

Later, Alfred would enter, guided by his butler senses to bring a meal for Jason. Later, his siblings would check in on him, and Dick would pile everyone into the living room with a movie marathon and a sleepover. Later, Jason would figure out a permanent base of operations for the Outlaws.

For now, it was just a father holding his son, both undeniably grateful to be alive.

-

Jason led Biz and Artemis to an underground bunker at the outskirts of Metropolis. They were right under Superman’s nose, which was both exhilarating and concerning.

He did not fancy meeting any one of Bruce’s colleagues. 

On the other hand, if Superman did stumble upon them someday soon, Bizarro would finally get to meet someone like him. Well, someone who might see him as family, at least. Jason had heard from Tim that Superman was a big-hearted family man that had taken in Kon-El the moment he had trusted the clone.

He hoped Superman would take Bizarro in. The big guy deserved someone else besides him and Artemis.

Speaking of…

“Say, since we’re gonna be working with each other a lot more from now on, can I get insurance that you won’t take a swing at Wonder Woman while I’m in the collateral damage zone?” 

Artemis glared at him, but Jason had weathered Bat-glares, and this was nothing compared to the man. His helmet was off, so she could see his smirk, his red domino stretching as he raised an eyebrow. 

“I’d have thought you’d be on better terms with the lady. I mean, she’d gladly offer you any support you need,” Jason pointed out.

Artemis huffed, “Themyscira should have done more to aid my tribe. They still have yet to do more to aid my tribe. As Diana is a representative of her people, my grudge is against her tribe, and not her personally. Truthfully, Diana saved my life, and I am grateful for that.”

Jason hummed contemplatively. “Well, you should be a bridge between the two tribes,” Jason thought aloud, “Just saying, you basically became your tribe’s champion by getting back the Bow of Ra. If anyone could get them more aid, it’d be you.”

He could tell that the Amazonian needed time to think on his words, so instead of continuing. Jason splayed his arms, “Besides, sweet-talking gets you places!” 

It was implied that such was how he had gotten their base, but the circumstances were probably far from what Artemis assumed. All Jason had needed to do was talk over conversations during dinner and Bruce was showing him possible locations even before patrol rotations had begun.

Artemis latched onto the new topic, regarding their new base with a satisfied tilt to her head, “What were those connections that you managed to find? Gotham is one place in Man’s World that I have yet to understand.”

“Eh, you learn to deal with the city’s fuckery. Like I said, I just had some old strings that I could pull to get us here,” Jason shrugged, and paused for a moment. Everything had been moving a mile and minute, from when Jason had first met Artemis to when they and Bizarro became a team.

He had neglected to tell them his name. Not that Bizarro needed his name, since he even called Artemis Red Her, but Artemis herself had always referred to Jason as Red Hood or Red.

“Jay.” 

At Artemis’ questioning glance, Jason huffed, “It’s my name, I guess. Close enough.”

It was the name the Titans, Roy and Kori, knew him by. Artemis and Bizarro were shaping up to be his second round of Outlaws, and he wanted them to have his trust, too.

There was a weighty glint in Artemis’ eyes. “It is an honour to work with you, Jay,” she stated solemnly.

Jason cracked a grin, “Aw, c’mon, don’t go all mushy on me. Let’s go get Biz before he ransacks the whole pantry.”

He turned to head in Bizarro’s direction, his loud rummaging making Jason glad he had chosen to put them significantly low underground. Artemis trailed behind with a warm smile.

[itisannak]

Luke x Firefighter!(Y/N) (Smut Fic)

Summary: Luke really likes the firefighter who treated him after a fire. And she does too. How do a firefighter and a rockstar mix, though? (Smut / Unprotected Sex / Doggy Style / Oral; Female Receiving) (T.W: Injuries / Hospital Setting) (Request: @saphseoul​) (Words: 9.6k)

"Ok, but actually, whose idea was it to put an egg in the microwave?" I ask, putting the sleeve of the blood pressure monitor around the man's bicep. He mumbles something under his breath, looking at his hands; I knit my eyebrows together, trying to figure out what he said. "What was that?" I ask him and he sighs. "I was out of utensils and I wanted to eat something quick. And what's quicker than an egg? Can you ask if the fire damaged the house a lot?" He asks me and I hum. "Well, the kitchen was nearly burned down..." I reply and he groans, throwing his head back and bringing his hand to run it down his face. "Calum's going to kill me..." He groans, making me chuckle. "Your boyfriend?" I ask, getting in the fire truck to pick up an oxygen tank. "What? No... My best friend... I was supposed to house sit for him. How can I tell him I burned down the house?" He asks me before I help him with the mask. "Well, you didn't completely burn down the house. I have seen way worse... And you can either do it yourself, or I am pretty sure the insurance company will do it for you." I chuckle, turning the oxygen on. "Deep breaths. You are going to be fine." I smile at him, starting to gather up all the stuff I've taken out of the medkit.

I take the mask off his face, turning the tank off and climbing in to put it back in place. "You have oddly soft hands..." He comments like it is the strangest thing ever. "I guess I do. Alright, pal, you are as good as new. Well, to the extent that you can, I guess." I state, patting his shoulder. "Luke." He says and I tilt my head, looking at him in confusion. "Look where?" I ask and he sighs desperately. "No... My name is Luke." He extends his hand and I roll my eyes at how stupid I must have seemed to him. "Oh... (Y/N)." I shake his hand and he chuckles at me. "So... Um... I was wondering... Like, it is kinda stupid... But um... Fuck, sorry. Lemme start over." He stutters, fiddling with his fingers. "I would like to take you out... Sorry, this sounds dumb... I mean, I would love to see you again. When my face is not covered in smoke and you don't have to make sure I won't die. Shit, that is even worse." He sighs frustrated; his eyes dart everywhere but on me, his face turning red as he babbles the words. "I... This is the first time this has happened to me... I don't know what to say..." I am the one to stutter now, earning a chuckle from him. "This is too awkward... It's painful to look at..." My colleague Vic states as she puts the equipment in the back of the truck. "My shift is over at 9. There is a bar we go to after shifts, on the 9th  and 36th. I am going to be there. Along with other firefighters. So, if you are one of those creeps, know that they will probably help me take you under." I state and he hums. "I'll see you at 9:30, at the bar on the 9th and 36th." He smiles at me, jumping off his seat in the back of the truck.

"You got a hot date tonight, I heard." Vic teases me, wiggling her eyebrows as I fix my shirt and tilt my head at her. "You were right in front of us when he asked me, stop mocking me." I reply and he coos at me. "I am not mocking you." She protests and I huff. "You don't think this is too impulsive, do you?" I ask, leaning against the lockers. She walks to me, fixing a strand of hair behind my ear. "I am proud you finally didn't overthink before doing something." She states, her eyes forming little lines as she smiles at me, cheeks getting pushed up from it. "He didn't look like a creep, did he?" I ask again, biting my bottom lip. "He looked like white Jesus, stop worrying over everything. You can always call me if you feel like you are in danger." She offers and I huff. "You are going to be there, either way. I told him to meet me at the bar after the shift." I state and she hums. "Smart." She pats my back and moves ahead to get ready.

I sit on the bar, taking a sip of my beer while I check the door for Luke to walk in. Vic, along with our colleagues Maya and Clint, is sitting on the other end of the bar, occasionally giving me a thumbs up for encouragement. Luke walks in, spotting where I am sitting and rushing to me. "Hi... I am so sorry I am late." Luke states, pulling a stool closer before he motions the barman over. "Did anything happen?" I ask him and he shakes his head. "It will sound stupid, but my dog was whining every time I tried to get out of the house." He scratches the back of his head, looking at me for my reaction. "You have a dog?" I ask excitedly, making him smile at me. "Yes. A bulldog-terrier girl. Her name is Petunia and she looks like the cutest piggy you've ever seen." He replies, making me coo. "Do you have any pictures?" I ask him and he hums, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He scrolls through his gallery, chuckling as he turns his phone to me. On the screen, there is a picture of the dog, holding a stuffed fox as she lays on the couch. "She is so cute, I can almost forgive for being late." I state and he brings his hand to his chest, sighing in an obviously sarcastic way. "Do you have any?" He asks me. "What, pets?" I ask him, bringing my beer to my lips. "Yeah." "No... My work hours are crazy, I couldn't take care of anyone else but myself." I reply and he nods. "I get it..." He mumbles, shrugging his shoulders. "You get it, huh? What do you do for a living?" I ask him, sitting up a little better. "I am a musician. I am the lead in a band, we are quite known, actually." He replies, smiling charmingly at me. "You are?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow at him. "We are called 5 Seconds of Summer. 5sos for short." He states, making my eyes go wide. "You are the underwear song guy?" I ask in shock, making him sigh and close his eyes. "I... Fuck... We have a lot better songs than that one." He states, taking a swig from his beer. "I bet you do. But that song... That song slapped, dude. I still listen to it when I work out." I state and he hums. "You should really listen to our songs after that one." He suggests, making me bite the inside of my cheek. "Maybe I will. Any suggestions?" I ask and he chuckles, arching an eyebrow. "Maybe I will give you some suggestions on our second date. Scratch that, on our first date, because this is not a real one. Your friends over there have been giving me the death glare since I stepped in." He points out, gesturing to Clint. I look at them, finding that Clint wishes glares could kill, which only makes me giggle. "I am the baby of the station. They are looking out for me." I brush it off, clinging my bottle against his.

"Wine?" Luke asks me as we walk into his living room. "Yes, please. Red." I reply, looking around me; his house is fancy, like decor magazine cover fancy. "Can you wait here? There is someone I want you to meet." He says as he hands me the glass. I smile and nod, knowing damn well he is going to bring his dog out; a classic girl-magnet move. He leaves the living room, letting me just wander around it as I wait for him to come back. I wasn't expecting him to have such a tidy and clean house. I mean, we've been going out for 3 weeks now, and he always gave me more of a care-free vibe, to set it politely. "This is Petunia." He announces, walking into the living room with his dog following behind him. I gasp, kneeling down to pet the dog. "Hi, pretty girl." I coo, scratching behind her ears. "You are so cute." I sing as she lays on her back and shows me her belly. "Thank you. My friends say she looks like a gargoyle." He kneels next to me, stroking her as well. "But she is so cute. Cute lil' tuna." I reply, squishing her droopy cheeks. "So, I had to pull some strings and ask a few people, but, I got you something." Luke states, getting up and bringing a baby blue box near me. I look at him suspiciously, making him prompt me to open the lid. Inside I find a bunch of vinyl, all from his band. "I remember you said you have a vinyl player but not a lot of vinyl, so I thought since you told me you liked the 'Underwear song', I thought you should first get introduced to our records on vinyl. You said you like the sound and feel of vinyl, so... There, I guess." He seems a little awkward, scratching the back of his neck as he looks on the floor. I coo softly, running my fingers down the cover of the vinyl on top. "This is really the sweetest thing. Thank you." I lean in to press a kiss on his cheek, but as he raises his head to look at me, my lips land on his. It feels so weird, electricity hitting me straight away. And that was for just a moment.

We pull away from each other almost instantly, and I really look anywhere but him. Fuck, I screwed this up. "I am sorry. I didn't know you were... Fuck, sorry." He mumbles; I know he has seen how red I look right now. "It's ok... I... It was... nice." I struggle to let out the words, biting my lip as I turn to look at him. "Yeah, it was very nice... Pity, it ended so soon." He states, a little more confident now. I feel flustered, but excited, wanting nothing more than his lips on mine; he really, really has soft lips. "Well, we can always do it again..." I say self-assured, waiting for his reaction. "I guess you're right." He replies, smirking at me. "To be clear with you, I meant now. We can do it again now." I state and he chuckles. "Yeah, I got that." He assures me, scooting closer to me. His hand goes to my jaw, keeping my head steady as he leans in for a kiss. His lips are extremely soft, warm, and they go so slow against mine. I move closer to him, not breaking the kiss, and straddle his lap, bringing my hands to his shoulders to support myself. Hesitantly, his tongue makes his way past his lips and to mine, almost asking me for permission. I part my lips, letting his tongue slip in my mouth; it is actually very fun, having to test the waters with someone from scratch.

And then he moans into my mouth, he fucking moans into my mouth as if this isn't supposed to turn me on. His hands make their way down my neck, the grazing of his fingers making my skin erupt in goosebumps. I feel like a teenager, fooling around with my crush in a totally innocent way, but definitely having the horniest thoughts. "You are a fucking good kisser." He moans, pulling away from me to catch his breath. He stares at my lips, twisting a strand of my hair between his fingers. "You are not bad yourself either." I giggle, stroking my thumb over his cheek. "Lu, I... I don't wanna... I mean... I..." I stutter and he hums, pressing his lips on mine for a short moment. "We don't have to if you don't wanna. This is nice enough." He replies, making me feel warm inside. "Thank you." I utter, and he chuckles. "For what?" He asks, stroking my hair softly. "For respecting my boundaries. It is refreshing." I state, making him smile. "So, I was thinking of ordering some pizza and putting on some of the vinyl. I would love to be here when you discover more of my music." He suggests, resting his hands on my hips. I giggle, looking at him in the eye. "Would I destroy your plans if I said I have already listened to your albums on Spotify?" I ask him and he gasps. "You have? Crap, I would have loved to be there... Did you like them?" He asks me, staring at me excitedly. "I loved Youngblood. It was... fuck, it was beautiful. So lyrical. It had pain, hope, everything in between. I loved the rest as well, but Youngblood just stuck with me." I reply, bringing my hand to his hair. "If you liked Youngblood that much, you should wait until our next one drops. It is our best work to date." He states; he sounds so excited, so eager for it, it makes me feel woozy. "I can't wait." I lean in, bringing my lips to his.

I wake up in the morning by Petunia licking my face. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep, I last recall leaning my head on Luke's shoulder as the B side of Youngblood on vinyl started playing. And now I am laying on the couch, with a blanket covering my body and Petunia hovering above me. I giggle, sitting up and petting her before I get off the couch and fold the blanket. Petunia jumps off, walking slowly out of the room. I decide to follow her, hoping she will guide me to Luke, who is nowhere to be seen in the palpable house.

Petunia stops in front of Luke, who is standing by the stove, cracking eggs inside the pan. "Glad to see you are not putting them in the microwave..." I state, making him scoff and roll his eyes. "Sooo glad I send Petunia to wake you up." He mocks me, passing me a mug of coffee. "Why didn't you wake me up when you realized I fell asleep?" I ask, leaning my head on his shoulder as I watch the pan sizzle. "I remember you told me you don't like driving at night. And come on, I am not an asshole, of course, I would let you crush since you fell asleep on me." He protests, turning to look at me with knitted eyebrows. "So, you are not asshole enough to wake me up, but you are asshole enough to put me on the couch instead of a warm, nice, soft bed..." I point out and he hums. "You wake up in a stranger bed, the night after you told the guy you've been seeing for less than a month, that you don't want to take your make-out session any further than just that... How would you feel?" He asks me, putting the eggs on a plate. "Thoughtful. Thank you." I reply as he passes me the plate. I find it very sweet, actually wholesome that he went through the trail of thought, just to make sure I wouldn't get worried or upset. "Plus, I slept on the other couch. And my couches are comfortable as fuck." He replies, turning around to press a kiss on my lips.

"I need a drink. Definitely, at least one drink." Maya says as we get off the fire truck. I am still in shock, my heart pumping in my chest, even though it has been hours since we managed to contain the fire. "(Y/N), you joining?" She asks me. I stay speechless, thinking about the intensity of my night. "(Y/N)? Are you ok?" Maya asks, snapping her fingers in front of me. "I need a shower. And I need... Screw this, I need dick." I reply, leaving my helmet on the side. I rush to the locker room, going to my locker and picking up my towel, ignoring everyone else. I just hope he is home, that he is not having any interviews, any studio sessions, any fucking shit famous people have to do.

I knock on his door, bouncing on my feet as I wait. I am jittery, a bit nervous about seeing him now, but most certainly sure about how much I need him right now. He opens the door, smiling at me with his cheeks popping and his skin glowing with a beautiful flush. "Hi. I wasn't expecting you." He cheers, moving from the door for me. "Are you alone here?" I ask, fidgeting with my fingers as I look at him. "Yeah. Are you ok?" He asks me, looking at me a little worriedly. "You don't have anywhere to be, do you?" I ask, nearly pleading for him to say he is available. "No, I am free. (Y/N), are you ok? You seem, upset, to say the least." He asks me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "I will be. I need you." I state, looking at him in the eye. "You need me for what?" He asks in confusion. I huff and roll my eyes, frustrated about his innocence at this point. "Luke, I need you. Really need you." I repeat. "Oh." He manages to let out, staring at me as he licks his lips. "It's fine if you don't actually..." I begin but he pulls me in by my wrists and crashes his lips on mine. His fingers hook in the belt loops of my jeans, pulling me as close to his body as possible. "Bed?" He asks me and I shake my head no. "Here." I reply, sliding off my top and dropping it on the floor. He stares at me in shock, licking his lips hungrily at the sight. "Bed. Now." He growls, making my breath hitch in the back of my throat. I love the roughness he is letting through, my core pulsing for him. I nod my head, following him mesmerized and a little too excited for what's to come. "I'll go bring condoms. Make yourself cozy on the bed." He says, sternly, unbuttoning my jeans before he turns to walk away.

I walk into the bedroom, getting rid of my clothes. Thank God he didn't have to see me in the stupid floral panties I had as a spare in my locker. It's weird, standing in the bedroom, naked and alone while he is looking for condoms. I don't know where to stand, how to stand, how to basically wait for him... It is all weird and rushed and I... "Fuck me." I hear Luke from behind me. I turn around, finding him in his boxers, leaning against the door frame. "Yeah, that's the plan." I state, chuckling at him. "Smartass." He comments, walking to me. He pushes me on the bed softly, making me bounce against the mattress. I whimper in surprise, watching him hover over me. "Are you gonna fuck me, or..." I begin but he leans down, kissing me to shut me up. His hand travels down my body, grazing the curve above my hips softly before he reaches for low on my stomach. "I'm gonna touch you. Ok?" He asks me, tapping on my skin softly. I hum in agreement, letting him lower his hand to my sex. He brushes over my outer lips, making chills run along my spine. "Let's see how wet you are." He whispers, parting my lips and letting his finger slip on my clit. He runs his finger down, circling my entrance and picking up some wetness. "You really need me, huh?" He asks, making me nod vigorously. "What was that, pretty girl? Use words." He insists, pressing his fingers on my clit before he rubs on it slowly. I breathe out funny, causing him to smile. "I need you, Luke. I fucking need you so much. Please." I cry out, biting on my bottom lip. "You sound so good." He shakes his head, lowering his boxers and freeing his cock. I pulse around nothing; it looks so much better than I expected.

He slips the condom on quickly, stroking his length as he kneels between my legs. "Ready?" He asks me, gripping on my thigh as he angles my leg up and lines up to my entrance. I moan, watching him spread my legs more before he thrusts in me. "Fuck... Fuck, oh..." I moan, feeling him as he stretches my walls to accommodate his girth. "You are so fucking tight around me." He groans while I pulse. "Feels good, doesn't it?" I ask, causing him to smile at me. "Feels fucking awesome." He pulls out for a second before he slides back in. I reach down, digging my nails into his wrist as he pounds on me. "Harder." I beg, making his eyes glisten. His hand grips on my thigh, pushing it back until it nearly touches my chest, just to get access to me. He goes in harder, groaning as I tighten around him, his chest heaving as he looks at me with pleasure twisting his pretty face. "Luke..." I moan, turning my head so one side of my face is pressed against the sheets. "Yes, baby?" He asks, leaning closer to me to kiss my neck. I sigh; his lips feel like heaven on my skin. "Eat me out." I plead, arching my lower back as he thrusts in, even harder than before. I feel my stomach numbing and my brain going fuzzy at the edges. "What?" He asks through hushed breathing. "Eat me out..." I push his head down, sliding back to relax more on the bed. "Yes ma'am." He sighs, slipping out of me.

I try to take deep breaths while he settles in between my thighs. His lips travel along the inner part of my thigh, where it is soft and sensitive. I lick my lips, watching his messy head of golden curls get lost between my legs. He reaches my bikini line, bringing his tongue out to toy with it a little. I wiggle on my spot, becoming a little too ticklish. "I bet you taste so fucking good." He whispers, bringing my legs to his shoulders and scooting me closer. He parts my lips with his fingers, running his thumb over the wet part before he buries his face in. His tongue goes straight to my clit, circling it slowly and making me feel every stroke he is making. He sucks softly on it, keeping eye contact with me. Instinctively, my hand tangles in his locks, pulling at them as he lowers his tongue to my entrance. His nose is pressed against my clit, while he fucks me with his tongue; and I swear, he does it so well. "You are so good at this. Too good at this..." I tremble, making him chuckle against my core. "I was right. You taste so fucking good, baby." He resurfaces for a moment to draw in a breath, stroking his thumb over my clit. "God..." I cry out as he goes back to eating me out, focusing on my clit now and using his fingers to pump on the right spot inside me. "Oh fuck... Luke..." I moan, feeling my stomach tighten. I gulp the knot in my throat, my toes curling as this gets too good right now. "Stop, stop..." I tap out, making him nearly jump up. "What, did I do something wrong?" He asks, looking at me worriedly. "No, you did everything right. Everything. I just need you inside me... I am close and I want to cum around your cock. Please?" I gasp, making him nod, with his lips loose and his eyes scanning me. "You are going to keep me on my toes, aren't you?" He asks, wrapping my legs around his waist before he enters me again. He gives me all he's got, thrusting inside me at a fast pace. He goes deep, holding onto me by my thigh as I writhe underneath him. "Luke..." I moan while he pants for air. He reaches between our bodies, bringing his thumb on my throbbing clit and stroking it fast while he thrusts in me. "I know, princess. You are pulsing... It feels good around me..." He replies. I blink rapidly, arching off the mattress as I feel my orgasm get closer. "I wanna cum... I wanna cum so badly." I whimper. "Cum around me, baby." He encourages me, stroking my clit fast. I buck my hips up against his, keeping him inside me as I cum, walls convulsing and brain going into a spiral. I don't even mind how stupid my o-face looks, I just take my high, letting out slurred curses. "Fuck, princess..." He groans, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. He barely thrusts, sinking in the feeling with me.

He collapses next to me while I bring the covers to wrap them around my body. He smiles as he looks at the ceiling, while I still try to catch my breath. "Why today?" He asks, resting his weight on his elbow and looking at me. "What do you mean?" I ask him, turning on my side and facing him. "We've been out on so many dates, you've slept over my place 3 times, I've stayed at yours for a whole weekend. There were many opportunities for us to have sex, why today?" He asks me, scooting closer to me. "I... There was this call at work. It was a huge fire downtown, lots of flammable material, we've barely made it through with no casualties. And I... well, some colleagues were injured, not too serious, but heavy enough to be rushed to the hospital. I decided I didn't want to wait any longer. I like you, Luke. I really do. And I didn't want to hold back anymore. I decided to live the day, I don't know what will happen next time I get called to a fire or an accident, or... Whatever, you know. I like you too much to get hurt before having you, before getting to experiencing you in all your glory. So, I got off my uniform, jumped in the shower, put on whatever clean clothes I had, for god's sake I came over to have sex in floral underwear. And then I drove over, hoping that you would be here, so I could finally have you... And you were, and this was... magical, better than expected." I state and he gives me a side smirk. "Were you hurt? Were you in danger?" He asks me, bringing his hand to stroke my hair. "No, no, I am fine. I was just... Shocked." I reply and he hums. "Well, I am always here to help you feel better after calls. Any way I can." He licks his lips, looking at me softly. "Well, you are way better than drinking it away." I state, stroking his cheeks with my thumb. "Am I now?" He asks, cocking an eyebrow at me. "So much better than booze." I emphasize the words, making him hum happily. "I am famished... Wanna grab a bite somewhere?" He asks me, making me shake my head. "I'd much rather order in and have you on this bed for the rest of the day." I suggest and he sighs happily. "Sounds much better than what I suggested." He replies, tilting my chin up to bring his lips to mine.

"What's that smell?" I ask Luke as I walk into my kitchen. "Good morning to you too... Well, there wasn't much in your fridge, so I used your eggs and milk to make pancakes. You need to load up before you go to work." He replies, handing me a mug of coffee. "You are literally the best boyfriend ever." I state, standing on my toes to kiss his lips. "I know." He says cockily, moving his eyebrows. "But, you picked the most chill day to fill me up. I won't need the extra energy today." I state, sipping on my coffee. "Why?" He asks, flipping the pancake in the pan. "We have an open day today. Basically, a bunch of kids and their mothers will drop by, we will hand candy and badge stickers and let the children take pictures wearing helmets and climbing on the trucks." I reply and he makes this happy sound that makes my stomach jump. "Holy fuck, this is the coolest thing ever. Lucky kids." He cheers, making me chuckle at him. "You are welcome to drop by if you want." I propose, making him gasp in excitement. "Really? I've always wanted to climb on a truck." He pushes a pancake on my plate. "Sure. I'll just tell my captain that you're my boyfriend and you're harmless, no problem." I shrug my shoulders, smiling at how cute he actually is. "Great. I'll drop by and pick you up. We should really go grocery shopping for you." He states, walking to me and pressing his body against mine. I bring my hands around his neck, stroking the hair that cascades it. "I'll wear my pretty floral sundress, the one you like so much. We will make a date out of it." I smile, causing him to lick his lips and smile. "And then we come back and I cook for you." He whispers, placing his hands on my hips and pressing his lips on my forehead. "Do I really want you to? Need I remind you we only met because you burned down Calum's kitchen?" I ask and he scoffs. "First of all, it was part of the kitchen. And second, I have become so much better, you should really stop teasing me about it." He pouts and I coo at him. "I am not teasing you, I am just reminding you how we met." "I am kinda thankful I put that egg in the microwave..." He murmurs, pushing some strands of my hair away from my face. "Quick question about today's plans. Is sex anywhere on the schedule?" I ask and he hums. "With you, wearing that floral dress? Definitely lots of it." He replies, pressing his fingers under my chin and tilting my head back enough for him to reach my lips.

"(Y/L/N), your boyfriend is here." Clint announces, making me smile from ear to ear. "Hey, you, little girl. I leave you in charge of the candy. Everyone gets one. You are the captain now." I say to the little frizzy-haired girl who stands in the back of the queue. She walks up to me and I hand her my helmet along with the crater of candies before I walk away. Luke is by the entrance, smiling at me as I walk towards him. "You look hot in uniform..." He whispers in my ear as I hug him. "I know." I reply, kissing his cheek. "Come on in. I have a fake helmet, which will probably only fit Tuna, and candy and a shiny sticker budge for you." I say, taking his hand in mine. I guide him in, picking one of the helmets and handing it to him. "You really don't need to do that..." He mumbles and I hum sarcastically. "I am giving you the full experience." I reply, squeezing his hand. "You think this is funny?" He asks in surprise and I shrug. "Well, life is so miserable, we have to find ways to make every day a little funnier." I state, leaning my head on his shoulder. "Oh, Maya over there is going to give you your firetruck tour." I stop right in front of her, pushing Luke towards her. "There he is, the special little guy." She mocks, making me glare at her. "Go with her, I told her to be kind to you." I lean in and press a kiss on his cheek. I watch him from afar as Maya gives him a tour, enjoying him being excited as he climbs on. "He is cute." Clint stands by me, making me smirk. "He is." "Pretty nice guy." He comments and I nod. "I think he is the best." "You think?" "I know he is the best." "Good. Hope he knows I'll break his ribs if he breaks your heart." He says sternly. "Alright, Hulk. Let's calm down. He won't break my heart, not this guy." I smile, staring at Luke and the way his smile makes his whole face light up.

"I talked to your captain today. Neat guy, very cool dude." Luke comments as I serve the spaghetti on our plates. "Not so cool if you are working with him, but go on." I reply, making him chuckle. "Anyway, he actually told me what a hard worker you are and how you haven't taken personal days off since you started your service." He states and I shrug. "I didn't really have any reason to." I pass him his plate and he hums. "Well, it's time you do." "Why?" I ask him, eyebrows furrowed together. "Because I want you to join me on tour. We have a few dates in Europe, just 2 weeks and 3 days, and I really want you with me." He brings his lips to my forehead, resting his hands on the small of my back. "You know I can't afford that." I mumble and he sighs, running his thumb over the dip on my back. "I can! It will be our anniversary gift. And I know that you worry about your paycheck, but you really shouldn't. I wanna help you cover your expenses, I wanna help you with whatever you need." He rumbles, making me smile at him and what a sweetheart he is. "Europe sounds kinda fun." I mumble, rolling my eyes playfully. "It is. I promise. I will inform the management to take care of the details. I am so excited..." He squeals, pulling me to his chest for a hug. "You are squeezing me..." I giggle, feeling him nearly crash my ribcage. "I am sorry. I am so happy you are coming." He can't keep his dorky smile off his face, making me reach up to kiss him.

Luke's hand inches down my back, his lips pressing a kiss on my forehead while I trace a pattern on his chest. "This is the calmest I have been in the past month." I whisper, pressing my ear against his heart. "Glad to help with that." He says a little cockily. "I... I have been thinking about it for a while... I have been holding it in, which is really stupid, but..." I begin rambling, losing my words as I try to tell him how I feel. "I love you too." He smiles at me, tilting my chin up so he can look at my face. "Let me say it." I whine and he raises his hands in defeat. "I am not good at expressing feelings, I have always had a hard time not suppressing them, but I want to be honest with you and mostly myself. I love you. I feel safe with you, happy. It is weird because no one else has made me feel like that before, but you do and I just can't keep it in anymore. You make me happy, every single day. I love you." I say, looking at him as he smiles softly. "I love you too." He whispers, leaning closer to bring his lips to my lips.

He moves to straddle me, cupping my face in his hand as the other supports his weight on his elbow. "Shouldn't you be getting ready to leave for that interview?" I moan while his lips move to my chin and then my jaw. "In a bit..." He murmurs, his tongue peeking from between his lips and tracing a figure on my sweetspot. "Don't start things you can't finish..." I whine, throwing my head back further into the pillow the moment his hand goes from my face to my hip and then my lower stomach, toying with the hem of my underwear. "Oh, I can and I will finish." He chuckles, slipping a finger under the waistband of my underwear. His lips travel to my collarbone, sucking softly on the dip of them. I blink rapidly, still not used to the feeling of his lips on my skin. "I want you..." I utter, causing his hand to slip into my panties and cup my sex. He rubs his fingers on my clit, making me tense up at the stimulation. "Need to get your pretty little pussy wet for me first." He whispers, bringing his hand under my t-shirt. He brushes over my nipple, feeling the perked-up little bud before he brings his head under my t-shirt too. His mouth attaches to my breast right then, lips sucking hungrily as he lowers his fingers to my entrance. He pushes 2 fingers in, making my entrance stretch around his digits. He pumps them up, grazing over my spot with every move of his fingers. "You are so wet already. Were you thinking of me taking you?" He asks me, flicking his tongue over the tip of my nipple. "Please, Luke. We don't have much time. I don't want you leaving without finishing this..." I whine, squeezing my thighs together, causing the pressure on my spot to rise. "You are right." He brings his head out, making his hair fall messily on his face. He takes his hand out of my underwear, bringing his fingers to his lips. "Taste like heaven." He mumbles while he flips me on my stomach, raising my ass in the air.

"Look at fucking that..." He grips onto it hard; I swear, I will be covered in marks while this trip lasts. He lowers my panties, bringing the lacy underwear to my thighs and freeing my core to him. His thumb presses between my folds, stroking over and over again until he lines up the head of his cock to my entrance and thrusts forward. I gasp as he does, mouth going agape and hands gripping onto the pillow below me. He doesn't wait around for me to adjust before he thrusts into me with force. "Fuck... Fuck Luke..." I cry out, pulsing around him. "Shut up, princess. We don't want you being heard by everyone, do we?" He slaps my ass, pounding inside me. My stomach is tight, every thrust feeling like a punch in the gut. I grip onto the pillow harder, bouncing back to meet his thrusts. "You wanna fuck yourself on my cock, pretty girl? You wanna take my cock deep inside you?" He hisses, bringing his hand to the front of my body, grazing his fingertips over my clit. "Fuck, Luke... Fuck, I might cum now..." I whimper, turning my head to look at him. "Your little pussy is pulsing around me already. It feels so fucking good around my cock... But you will have to wait. Can you wait for me, babygirl?" He asks, rubbing his fingers on my clit fast, while his cock jams inside me, hitting on my cervix.

I whimper, shaking my head at him as I tug my bottom lip between my teeth. "Oh, I think you can, little brat." He chuckles, slowing down before he gives me a single powerful thrust, sending me a little forward. "I really can't. I wanna cum... Please." I beg, wiggling my hips and taking all of him inside me. "Cum and I'll make you regret it." He says sternly, slapping my clit as I squeeze around him, arching my back. Everything feels tingly, my toes curling as I moan louder with every thrust. "Please, Luke... I am a mess. Please..." I bet everything that my face is the reddest it has ever been. "Not... yet..." He hisses, becoming sloppy with his pounding. I fight with everything within me to hold back, trying not to focus too much on the sound his skin makes as it slaps against mine, or how good he feels, throbbing inside me. "Cum for me, pretty girl." He growls, grabbing my hips and forcing me to stay glued to him. I feel his cock pulse inside me, gasping as I hit my orgasm. My eyes go wide, my stomach tightens and I feel like collapsing on the mattress, but Luke keeps me steady, until he finally cums, pulling out of me and shooting over my ass. "Fuck, you look so good like that..." He praises, grabbing the tissue box from the nightstand.

I finally fall chest first on the mattress, gasping to catch my breath. "Am I supposed to let you leave me right now? Am I supposed to let you go to that interview now?" I ask and he chuckles. "I will be back very soon. By the time you're back from the spa and get ready for dinner, I will be here." He replies, pressing a kiss on the top of my ear. "Spa? Dinner?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together. "Yes. I made a reservation for us tonight. Be pretty for me. Even prettier than you are now if it is possible..." He plants a kiss on the back of my neck. "Are you going to be pretty for me?" I ask and he hums. "The prettiest I can be." He whispers, making me smile. "What time should I be ready?" I ask and he takes a breath before replying. "Around 8:30. The reservation is at 9." He replies, nuzzling his nose in the crook of my neck.

"First day back from paradise, huh?" Maya asks, cocking an eyebrow playfully at me. "Yeah... I wish I was still there. I legit cried on the plane back home." I sigh, shutting my locker. She coos at me, patting my shoulder softly. "Was it that good?" She asks and I nod. "I didn't know life could be so stress-free. Well, for me, because he was on edge all the time. Shows, interviews, meet and greets. He had so much to do." I state, bringing the memory of him on tour in my brain. "Did he spend any time with you at all?" She asks and I nod, biting my bottom lip. "Every second he was free, he was with me. He was literally like a male protagonist from a romantic movie. He wined me, dined me, absolutely romanced me every chance he got. I thought I savored him enough to last me until the next time I would see him, but I was so wrong. I have been missing him since the second I went through the airport security." I pout and she chuckles at me sarcastically. "Poor baby (Y/N)..." She fake-coos at me, making me roll my eyes at her. "Don't tease. I mean, he has been on tour before since we have been together, but I miss him so badly right now, I would drop everything to go visit him again." I explain and she laughs, only to be stopped by the siren calling us to an emergency. "You'll tell me more afterward. And don't forget my gift." She points at me before running off while I slip my boots on.

I wait until the clock turns 12 so I can call Luke, who has probably just woken up in Germany. I press the facetime icon on my phone, bringing Petunia to my chest as I lay on the couch. "Hey, baby." I cheer, waving at him. He smirks and rubs his eyes, looking at the screen sleepily. "There are my girls... I've missed you both." He pouts, running his fingers through his messy locks. "We've missed you both as well. How's Germany?" I ask, stroking Petunia's head. "I haven't seen the city yet. We made it to Berlin late last night so we came straight to the hotel. I've been sleeping since. How was your first day back?" He asks me, smiling at me. "It was... eventful. We got called in for a house fire first thing in the morning. It was fine, everyone made it out of the house but the building is kinda fucked up. But I brought the first box of my stuff to your house." "You mean our house." He chuckles and I nod. "Yeah, I mean our house. It is still kinda hard to believe you asked me to move in." I admit and he moans happily. "You didn't see that coming? I was building the ground for so long. I've told you a million times that I love seeing your face first thing in the morning." He comments and I shrug. "There is a huge gap between saying you love seeing my face in the morning and actually asking me to move in with you, especially while you are on tour." I point out and he hums. "Did you eat anything today?" He asks, changing the topic. "Yeah, I went for drinks with Maya and grabbed a bite. Aren't you supposed to head to breakfast?" I ask and he nods. "In a bit. I wanna see your pretty face some more." He whines, making me smile at him. He looks so adorable sleepy, that if I was there, I would be cuddling him all day long. I just smile, taking in his face. "I miss you, pretty boy." I run my finger over my screen, pouting at him. "I miss you too, angel. I will be back before you know it, I promise." He assures me, eyes sparkling brightly.

I open my eyes, nearly going blind at the bright white lights above me. I look around, trying to blink until my vision becomes unblurred. There is a bunch of nurses around me, or at least I think they are nurses... A lot of people wearing medical clothes are surrounding me, making me panic. What happened to me? "Hey, hey. She is awake." One of the people on the medical team announces, making everyone turn to me. "(Y/N), stay calm..." One of the doctors tries to stop me from thrashing around. "(Y/N)... You were in a fire, you inhaled a lot of smoke, you lost consciousness due to monoxide poisoning. You need to keep the mask on." The doctor tries to explain. My head hurts, a headache forming to the front of my head and spreading to my temples. "(Y/N), you need to stay down. Follow my finger." One of the doctors steps in, moving her finger in front of my face, to a virtual line across my periphery. "Good. Now, squeeze my fingers." She instructs, placing her fingers in my palms. I squeeze her fingers and she nods, smiling at me. "Good, no signs of neurological deficiencies." She comments. I feel like I am hyperventilating, my eyes refusing to focus on anything.

My doctors decided to keep me in for observation, just to exclude the possibility of organ failure. The team cramped up in the room just an hour ago, but now I am left alone, moving my leg in jitters. My phone rings, making me pick it up from the little table next to my bed. I see Luke's contact pop up on my screen, bringing a smile to my face; he is the only person I really wanted to talk to right now. "Hey, bub." I smile as I accept the call and the video call goes live. Luke looks at me terrified, upset. I can tell he has been crying, his eyes are red and puffy and he looks tired. So, he knows... "Are you ok?" He asks me, gulping thickly. "I am fine. They are keeping me in for observation." I reply and he nods. He covers his face, sobbing and making my heart aching for him. "Baby, I am ok. I am fine, it is over. Hey, please don't cry." I try to console him, but he only sobs harder. "I... I can't do... I can't do this again... I thought I would die when they called me... I felt the earth crumble beneath my feet. I can't go through that again. I can't worry whether you'll make it home safe. I can't live in fear that something bad will happen to you..." I feel my heart stop, my stomach becoming tight and the urge to throw up taking over me. I bite the inside of my cheek and fight the tears that brim in my eyes, bracing myself for what I am about to say. "Say it. Say it, Luke. No need to be a coward now, say it." I nearly taunt him. "Please don't make it hard..." He pleads. I nod my head and swallow my pride, looking at him in the eye. "Ok, then. I'd hate to make this hard on you. It's over, Luke. I'll send Maya to pick up my stuff from your house and I will call Crystal to take care of Petunia." I say in my calmest voice, even though I feel like breaking down. "You don't have to... I mean, I won't be home for weeks and you can take your time." He suggests and I chuckle. "No need to worry about me anymore. Isn't that the reason you are breaking up with me?" I ask, but hang up before he could actually say anything more.

"Are you sure I can stay? Your boyfriend?" I ask Maya as she places pillows and covers on her couch. "He is fine... You can stay for as long as you need." She assures me, taking a seat on the armchair by the side of the couch. "I don't want to be a burden. I promise to find a new place within a week..." I state and she chuckles. "Yeah, yeah. No need to rush, stay as long as you want." She states, curling up on the armchair and bringing her beer to her lips. "You know, I thought he was the one... I thought we would last." I utter, leaning my head against the back of the couch. "I thought you would too, kid." She smiles sympathetically.

We rush out of the firetruck, heading towards the burning house. "You stay in the med truck." Captain orders and I nod. I haven't been cleared for duty yet, even though there have passed several weeks since the incident. I honestly don't trust myself either. Not only because the monoxide poisoning was traumatic, but the breakup has taken a huge toll on me. I have been living alone for a couple of weeks now, but I can't bring myself to actually live in the empty apartment. I sit on the edge of the truck, swinging my legs as I wait. Med duty is the most boring in the beginning but full-on action after a while. All the burns and trauma, trying to keep the person safe until you reach the hospital, times like this make me love my job, make me grateful for my certification. "Hey, girl... Wanna switch?" Maya rushes to me, plastering a psycho smile on her face. "No. Why?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together. "Nothing, I thought you might want to take a walk... I can cover for you." She points to the street, making me chuckle sarcastically. "I am good, thanks." I stand up as someone from the team calls for incoming. "My offer is open if you change your mind. Alright, bring him in." She calls moving from the entrance of the back of the truck.

Clint carries Luke in, making me freeze for a moment. He is still conscious, but he had to be carried in by someone. "Do you think she'll kill him?" He asks Maya as he leaves the gurney. "If she doesn't, I might." She threatens, eyeing Luke, who looks just as nervous as I do. "Guys, mind taking this elsewhere? I am not going to kill anyone." I state, giving them my death glare. "Let's put this on." I fix the oxygen mask on his face, but he lowers it before I could turn on the oxygen tank. "You need that. And I need you to put it on so I can take a look at the burn at your leg." I sigh, picking the mask again. He pushes my hand away softly, stopping me. "Luke, please." I tremble, looking at him with tear-glazed eyes. "One moment. Just give me a moment." He gasps before coughing. "No moment. You need that if you don't want your lungs to explode." I point out, fixing the elastic on the back of his head. He surrenders, letting me put the mask on his face. "Deep breaths." I suggest, moving to take a look at his leg. "Second degree... Let me clean this and dress it before we take you to a hospital." I say, turning around to grab the kit. I hear him take breaths, somewhat rhythmic, which is a good sign. At least he won't die in my hands.

"I can accompany him to the hospital if you'd like... You can go rest." Clint offers and I shake my head. "I am fine. Really." "Isn't this kinda like how you met?" "Kinda. But it doesn't matter. Work before anything. I got this. I'll meet you back at the station." I smile and he nods. "If you need anything..." "It is just a drop-off." I reply and he hums. "It's not and you know it. But you know yourself better." He waves me off, letting me climb back into the truck. I sit on my seat and buckle up, watching over at Luke. He tries to remove the mask, but I shake my head at him. "Don't." I breathe out, turning my head away.

"(Y/N), my office." My captain calls, making me sigh as I drop my cleaning rug in the tool kit. I walk towards the office, closing the door behind me. "The man you transferred to the hospital earlier refuses treatment if he doesn't talk to you first." He announces, making my eyes go wide. "Is he insane?" I ask, taking a sit on the chair in front of the desk. "You tell me. They have been trying to convince him but he says he will only do it if you go there. The doctors said that if he keeps refusing they will have to release him." "Can he do that?" I ask. "What, refuse treatment? Of course, he can." He states, shrugging his shoulders. "No, ask for me, practically blackmail me..." I explain. "Well, apparently... Why do you want to do, (Y/L/N)?" He asks me and I take a deep breath. "I can't let him receive no treatment for a second-degree burn. He is going to get infected." I reply, bouncing my leg and biting my lip. "Well, you can. But do you want to?" He asks me, making me throw my head back, look at the ceiling, and huff. "I will be back as soon as I can." I promise before I jump up.

I walk into the emergency room, already feeling that everything I felt the night he broke up with me is rushing back to me. "Hi, a patient asked for me. Male, in his twenty's, has a burn on the left leg, refuses treatment..." I explain and the nurse nods. "Bed 5. Please be fast, the ER is getting overwhelmed." He begs, pointing toward the beds. I smile politely before I turn to walk to Luke's bed. He is sitting there, cross-armed and furrowing until the moment he sees me. "Are you stupid?" I ask, looking at him sternly. "I broke up with you, do you really have to ask me that?" He asks and I roll my eyes at him. "Why aren't you letting them treat you?" I ask, trying to calm myself down. "You didn't let me talk to you in the truck. And I really want to talk to you, because I haven't slept in weeks." He says, huffing at me. "I'll listen to you, while you take the treatment you need." I say, surrendering if that means dumb-head is not going to get an infection. "I'll take that." He says, letting the doctor finally approach him. "I messed up. Big time..." He admits, hissing as the doctor washes the wound. "You need to be more specific. My captain is this close to putting me in suspension." I state, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "I broke up with you because I was scared of losing you. Because I was afraid of you getting hurt on duty. And then you got hurt and I nearly died at the thought of something worse happening to you. I thought breaking up with you would be the best choice, that I would finally get rid of the tightness in my chest, but I was so wrong. I was worried because I love you, and breaking up with you didn't stop that. I am still worried about you getting hurt, I am still waking up with a tightness to my chest, I am still wondering if you will be alright. Fuck, I don't know what more to say. I love you, I need you back, I can't go on without you. It is driving me insane." He explains through hisses as the doctor takes care of him. "What makes you think that you will feel calmer if we get back together? I am still going to have the same job, you are still going to have anxiety because that's what it is, you are having anxiety attacks. I can't get back with you and then have you break up with me. I can't go through that again. You left me when I was hurt, you broke up with me over a video call. Do you know how bad that hurt? Do you know what big of a toll it took over me?" I ask, trying to whisper so the whole hospital won't learn our business. "I am a piece of shit and I deserve you leaving me and never talking to me. But I love you, I love you... And I promise to do whatever it takes. You deserve better, and I want to become better for you. I'll... I will do anything. I will sign up for therapy, I will learn to live with this... I promise to do better, I will never hurt you again. Please." He begs. "Please tell me you didn't set the house on fire just so you could see me again..." I sigh, making Luke shake his head. "No. I left the stove on after cooking and fell asleep on the couch." He replies, making the doctor chuckle. "You truly are a mess without me..." I point out and he nods. "I can't even tell you how big of a mess I am ever since the breakup." He looks at me with pleading eyes. I shake my head and roll my eyes, walking a little closer to him. "Oh, Luke... What am I even going to do with you?" I ask, cupping his face in my palms. "Apply antibiotics cream on his wound and dress it up 2 times a day until the follow-up because I really don't think he is capable of doing it himself?" The doctor asks me and I nod, leaning in to kiss Luke softly. "I will make sure of it, doc." I say after we part, making Luke hum.

My Masterlist

[tundrainafrica]

Title: Division of Labor (3/?)

Summary:  

“The past years, we have noticed a lot of our fresh high school graduates knew nothing about responsibilities that await them outside high school and even college. Many students do not master budgeting, taxes, household planning, loans and we hope to raise a generation who can navigate the adult world without the consequences of bad decisions they are bound to make going in blindly…”

Paradis High school starts a program incorporating adulting into their curriculum and Hange and Levi are paired together.

Note: From request of @a-golden-hearted-snk-fan. See this link for the request

Other Chapters: 1 2

Link to cross-postings: AO3

It turned out Hange did think the housing plan through.  

"It's a rent to own contract...so after paying this certain amount of rent… within a number of years… we can own the house basically," Hange explained. Her preparation was evident in the wad of papers she had carelessly spread out on the table in front of Levi.

At first glance, Levi could not make sense of what those papers were. Eventually, by carefully scanning through the therefore, herewiths, in the events, the interest rates and percentages, Levi figured out they were contracts and manuals full of buying and renting policies of one particular real estate company.

Levi looked out the glass window of the booth of the quiet diner they had chosen to work in. He had tried to use the mechanical movements of the crowds on a commute home to at least help clear his mind enough to make sense of how exactly a rent-to-own contract worked. Levi was sure Hange was at least attempting to explain everything about the buying policies of the real estate company in layman's terms. Although Levi was somewhat impressed by the dedication Hange put into it, as soon as she started to talk about the policies and agreements beyond ‘we get to own the house after a while,’ Levi ended up spacing out. The prospect of spending, even if it was fake money, caused him enough unnecessary stress.  

He turned his attention to the two flour sacks who were propped by the window of the diner booth they occupied. He had purposefully turned their ugly faces towards the window at the small possibility that Shadis, Erwin or even Zeke were amongst the crowds of people walking through the crowds and into the subway station. A testament to their determination not to waste any unnecessary funds or worse, flunk the program

"If we catch you in public not holding your baby, you pay babysitting dues or you fail." Shadis had said in homeroom class that morning.

After some discussion as a class and with some confirmation from Erwin, the whole class came to the understanding that if they went out separately, they were in no obligation to take their babies with them. It could always be assumed after all, that their partner had their baby with them. Being in public with their partner meant someone had to have the baby with them or they risk pay necessary dues. At any rate, they found solace in the fact that if they were going to look like idiots holding brown sacks with shabbily drawn faces on them, they at least had someone to look like an idiot with.

Levi looked back at  Hange to see that she had not stopped talking. Levi was not too surprised, having the disinterested equivalent of a resting bitch face, he had to master the art of looking like he cared to get past most classes.  

“Where did you get these anyway?” Levi asked, interrupting the tirade of his partner. The answer to that question would at least be something he would be able to understand.

“The procedures manual and their company policies are available online.” Hange answered matter-of-factly. Levi noted how quickly she recovered from having her explanation of policy and business jargon interrupted.

As Levi looked once again through highlighted lines and messy scrawls, he felt embarrassed that he was not even halfway done with the design they had discussed the night before. He slowly brought out his folder where he had at least begun to draw the floor plan from the link Hange had sent him the night before.

“How has the floor plan been Levi?” Hange cocked her head to one side. Levi could not tell if she was provoking him or if she was genuinely curious about the progress of his work. Regardless, the way that she sifted through the papers under her, while looking pointedly at the roughly drawn floor plan on his hands had Levi self conscious.

It was Tuesday afternoon, less than 24 hours since she had bombarded him with messages. Less than 24 hours since she dropped a pdf file of the floor plan and went MIA, Levi guessed it was to prepare all the documents which Hange had just laid out in front of him that morning. As he compared his own progress to hers, he also became aware of one more reality, their first outputs were due tomorrow. Begrudgingly Levi had to admit, despite her naivete and overenthusiasm, Hange had a better sense of urgency than he did.

“I planned everything out already. I just need to outline it.” Levi said, trying at least not to sound as defensive as he felt.

“But can you do it alone? I didn’t sleep at all last night to get this done.” Hange looked more concerned than anything else.”

As Levi looked back at a skeleton of a housing plan that lay in front of him, he started to understand her concern. The house they had selected was huge and designing would take hours if he actually wanted to put thought into it.

“I mean even if we take out the 1800 from our budget of 3600 dollars a month, we still have to consider furniture and it might take you a while to come out with the pricing right? I guess we could leave out 1000 dollars for that….”

Furniture? Levi had stopped listening at ‘furniture.’ Somehow Levi had assumed that it would have been fully furnished when they bought it and they just had to rearrange furniture. “We’re buying an unfurnished house?” Levi had hoped Hange was pulling his leg.

Hange knitted her brows in confusion. “Did I say anything about a furnished house?”

                                         Division of Labor

“There are two methods of accounting used in modern day society: cost accounting and accrual accounting or as I’d like to call them: an idiot’s sorry excuse for accounting and actual accounting.” Zeke wrote the two terms on the board and plopped himself on the teacher’s desk. “Really though, why the hell do people still use cost accounting in modern society, it’s fucking stupid, barbaric, might as well go back to bartering…”

Levi had no idea what either of them were. As he looked around at his classmates, they looked as lost as he was about the mini rant that Zeke gave about the two accounting methods he had failed to define.

After a few minutes of ranting, Zeke finally noticed the blank faces of his students. “Okay Social Experiment.” Zeke cocked his head to the side. “Actually, let’s call it an IQ Test.  Jean stand up.”

“Yes sir!” Jean followed way too enthusiastically.

“You got the investment banker occupation so ideally you should be the most knowledgeable on money among everyone in the room,” Zeke continued. “You have zero dollars and I gave you 100 dollars right now. How much do you have?”

“100 dollars sir,” Jean answered.

“That’s a smart boy.” Zeke slapped his desk so hard, Armin and Eren jumped, having sat so close to the teacher’s desk. “Okay, so if I lent you 100 dollars, how much do you have?”

“100 dollars.”

“So, you’re gonna run away with my money? No plans of paying me back?”

Jean tensed up in confusion. “No sir. I’ll be paying you back.”

“Then is it your money?"

“It’s with me sir… So I think…” Jean paused for a second. “So it’s your money sir?”

“Tell me. The money is with you after all. Is it your money or my money?”

“It’s my money sir!” Jean answered too quickly, probably without even thinking.

“I lent you the money. I expect it back so it’s mine. Calling my money your money is practically stealing Kirschtein. I can call a lawyer on you.” Zeke narrowed his eyes at Jean for a few seconds before shrugging in defeat. “But you’re not a criminal. You’re just an idiot who relies on outdated accounting methods. Don’t take that with you when you become an actual financial advisor. Sit down. I’m calling someone else.” Zeke turned back to the class list on the teacher’s table. “Okay, anyone in this list with a finance related position...” Zeke’s eyes widened in surprise as he looked through the list. He looked at the class with a cat-like grin, his eyes focusing on one boy in the front row. “In my almost sixteen years of knowing you, I did not expect you to be suitable but it looks like you’re the only one in this list other than Jean with an accounting related occupation.”

“Really? It’s accounting related?” Eren had never been one to be good at Math. Everyone in the class agreed and as their professor hinted at his assigned occupation, many began to whisper, possibly theorizing as to what Eren had gotten.

They did not have to theorize for long though, within seconds, Zeke continued to discuss. “Okay Eren, let’s discuss your field of expertise --- insurance.”

Eren slowly nodded in return. It was a nod which everyone in the room had understood at first glance. Insurance was not Eren’s field of expertise.

Zeke did not seem to care though. “Case study time! I have 3000 dollars. Eren the insurance salesman sells me $200 dollars a month worth of insurance and I buy one years worth of prepaid insurance. By the end of this month, how much worth of assets do I have left?”

“By assets, you mean money?”

“Check a fucking dictionary.”

Eren sat down for a second. From his seat, Levi could hear some whispers from Mikasa and some clicks of a digital keyboard, or possibly a calculator.

“600 dollars.”

“Final answer?”

“Yes. Final Answer.” Eren seemed so sure of his answer.

From seeing Zeke’s face at the answer, Levi could not help but think, maybe phrasing it as a question was the better option for Eren.

“This is why your generation is so shit at saving. With this type of attitude, you‘re all gonna get into some shity Ponzi scheme with yourself and some sad saps who actually pitied you enough to lend you money without assessing your credit rating that’s just gonna continue riding on some endless cycle until you all go to jail or declare bankruptcy.” Zeke ranted again as he punched the buttons of the projector, turning it on. “ Scratch that. At this rate, none of you would probably even know how to declare bankruptcy.”

Accounting 101 . Those two words flashed on the screen, the contrast of black words in a default font to the white background of a hastily made powerpoint only getting clearer as the projector whirred to life.

“The amount of debt you can get into in the real world will fuck up your life. So to simulate the real world consequences of unpaid debt, we decided to make your fake debt by the end of the year one of the main determinants of your final grade. And we will be using real accounting to determine your debt. Any questions before we start?”

It was Sasha who raised her hand from the back of the classroom.

“Yes?” Zeke asked with shoddily hidden annoyance.

“So which one is cost and which one is accrual again, Sir?”

                                      Division of Labor

"I told you. I'll handle the accounting," Hange said. "We can make this work." Her words were not at all assuring.

It was Wednesday afternoon. They had submitted their selection for their house that afternoon in class so that meant no more takebacks. Their house plans were due midnight and Levi was not even halfway done. To add insult to injury, Levi was still reeling from Zeke’s lecture just a few hours ago.

Initially, Hange had suggested they buy the furniture in installments. The prospect of buying in installments though became all the more terrifying with the accounting system Zeke had introduced to them that day and the weight of a negative balance sheet on their grades.

As soon as you buy something and enter into debt, the money owed is not yours anymore. Levi shuddered as those words echoed in his head. He narrowed his eyes at Hange. "Really Hange? Can we? After deciding to spend half your salary each month on an unfinished 3 bedroom house?" Levi asked as he gestured to their next tall order that stretched over two aisles. They were in the baby's section in the supermarket.

It was their third round around that aisle, trying to look for a brand of diaper and a brand of formula that would not cost them a total of 400 dollars a month.

“I mean, we still have 800 dollars on groceries if we put our furniture installments budget at 1000 dollars a month,” Hange explained. “So if we spend 400 dollars on baby stuff, we should have 400 left.”

“400 dollars for a month’s worth of meals for a family of four.” Levi clarified. “There must be something here we could choose not to spend on.” Or maybe we could find a cheaper place to buy things in. Levi thought back to the supermarket nearer to his house and made a mental note to check it. The output was due on Friday anyway.

"Hey, Armin and Annie are here too!" Hange said enthusiastically.

Too enthusiastically. Levi clarified to himself. That was not at all good news. If other groups were going to that supermarket, that must mean they think they have the financial leeway to spend there, That could also possibly mean he and Hange had somehow fucked up financially as a pair, struggling to make ends meet. Armin was a studious student with a good head on his shoulders and he chose to shop in a more expensive supermarket. Are we spending too much?

"Let's ask Armin…" Levi did not need to finish his sentence. By the time, he looked to his side, where Hange stood or at least was supposed to be standing, the latter was already on her way to the blond boy..

Levi did not waste anytime. As Hange chatted up Armin, Levi made a few rounds through the two aisles again, his phone calculator on hand.

Just in case. Levi told himself. Just in case they had miscalculated the minimum expense of 400 dollars.

                                      Division of Labor

Hange had a long talk with Armin. By that point, Levi had lost count of the number of rounds he had made around the aisle. He had stopped counting at five. He had done his research on discounts and made some fake accounts and the expense still clocked at $390 dollars.

By the time he and Hange called it quits, the sun was setting. Hange seemed lost in thought and she had been that way since she had finished her conversation with Armin. Levi decided to take over keeping both sacks for the night. He made a small detour to the grocery store nearest to his flat. It was smaller, a little dirtier but it meant a little more room for spending and a bigger chance of saving his grade and graduating. Begrudgingly, sanitation became the least of Levi's issues.

He wrote out all the prices of the important items they had seen in the grocery store. When he got home, he made sure to write them all on a google sheet complete with weight, quantity and prices and sent the link to Hange through an instant message. For some reason, he felt a twinge of disappointment when all he received was a heart react in return.

Of course, Hange still had a lot of things to calculate. Even as they separated less than an hour ago, she had seemed distracted. Levi guessed Armin had told her something game breaking about the accounting process.

What did Armin tell you? You need any help?

Will explain soon. Send the meal plan and house design by 9 pls.

Levi managed to submit the meal plan by nine. He had copied and pasted from some random family cooking website, changing a few ingredients to fit what he thought would be cheaper options. He did not need to think too much of it either. He lived a life many would consider the complete opposite of excess and as a result, had mastered the art of improvisation when it came to food.

His main problem lay with the floor plan of the house. Hange had agreed to handle worrying about the expenses. That was one problem out of his plate.

Even with the money problem out of his hands, Levi found himself working until late anyway. Or not working… Levi was only reminded of his lack of productivity when his phone lit up with a notification.

11:00pm

Hange Zoe

Where??????

Levi only realized then that he had gotten a little carried away with the problem of where to put the washing machine.

                                 Division of Labor

It was a genius idea.

That Wednesday night, only a few hours before the house plan was due, Levi had had fifty tabs open from German and Japanese house designers showing bathrooms and laundry room designs highlighting the novelty and practicality of putting the washing machine in the bathroom. Levi had spent hours pondering the logistics of making it work for the house design Hange had sent him only for her to shoot down the idea an hour before the housing plan was due.

They rented an American style house with a bathroom in every bedroom and the impracticality had dawned on him particularly when it was fifteen minutes to 12am and they were still arguing in chat over how to design the house. In the end, Hange had gotten her way, having brought up the issue of accounting furniture and the fact that they probably did not even have the financial leeway to pay for a washing machine anyway.

Having to deal with the disappointment of losing the opportunity to design the house the way he wanted to and having his unfinished design shipped off to Erwin’s email, with little regard for the effort he had put into the intricacy of both the toilets and the laundry room, Levi was a little pissed. He also considered the fact that he had respected the effort and detail Hange had put into choosing a house and had allowed her to submit a potentially overpriced and unfurnished house as their final product.

And she could not even reciprocate the respect for his whims.

Levi decided then to take a break from it all. It was a silent agreement on both ends. Or there was no need for an agreement anyway. They had finished their deliverables for the week by Thursday.

Everyone had ended up cramming theirs anyway and Levi found himself walking home alone and spending his time outside school hours bingeing whatever was new on Netflix.

By Monday, Levi had not expected to do much. Their breakdown of responsibilities was due Friday, 12am on Thursday to be exact according to the file that Erwin had sent. It was a one page paper with a few questions that just needed answering. They could easily start on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Levi wanted to spend at least just his Monday, peacefully, not considering the program which has been plaguing the start of their junior year since Shadis’ announcement just a week ago. He allowed himself to clear his mind, making sure to just note on his phone to start on the next output by Wednesday. Hange would probably remind him anyway.

He had deluded himself well into thinking the adulting program was limited to those once a week outputs. An announcement was made to meet in the kitchen after lunch for home economics class. His mood that Monday had him living in complete denial of what could actually go on in a school kitchen and for some reason, Levi imagined having a lecture in the kitchen was a completely normal expectation, even with the reminder to bring aprons and gloves. Maybe we just need to put them in lockers or something.

As the students filed in though, some of them panicked and that was when Levi figured out that something was not right. The counters were all lined up with ingredients. Some of the students had recognized the ingredients. Levi looked to Hange to see that she was blank on what the hell the pattern was behind the types of ingredients set out.

There were the essentials--- flour, sugar, eggs. There were exotic ingredients Levi could not even name or pronounce.

“Cardamom, Star Anise, Rose water. What the hell?” It was Jean speaking from behind Levi.

“I’m glad you see the pattern. I’m assuming that means you’ll all do well?” Erwin waited while the rest of the class filed into the room before he raised his voice loud enough for everyone to hear. “Today we’ll be having a pop quiz just to make sure you all know what you’re writing when you make the meal plans. In the tables assigned to you, you will see the ingredients for one of the meals you put in your meal plan. Please use them accordingly to make a full course meal from what you had submitted.”

Levi could not remember for the life of him what the hell he had put in that meal plan a week back

[airis-paris14]

Starlight 5

Summary: Amani is an orphaned heiress who’s spent most of her life raising her younger sister. T’Challa is a widowed King and Father. Neither of them is expecting much from their night at the Lotus. But the coming months have many milestones in store for these young adults. Will becoming a family be one of them?

A/N: Happy Thanksgiving y’all!

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6

“Madiyson we’re going to be late!” Amani yelled at her friend who’d been doing her makeup for the past hour. The heiress sighed and buckled her heel shut around her ankle. She double-checked that her purse had her ID, insurance cards, some cash, and a portable phone charger. She threw in her lipstick de jour and shut the clutch. “Madiyson,” Amani yelled for her friend again. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she smiled glancing at her new message.

T’Challa: and I take it you aren’t particularly thrilled about having to work tonight?

Amani: Not even a little bit

Amani grinned. It’d been two months since she spent the night with T’Challa and Ada. Before she left the next day he’d made sure he’d gotten her number. They’d talked every day all day for the last 60 days. Unfortunately, T’Challa had been busy at home and didn’t know the next time he’d be in the states. That night while watching the movie she’d ended up wrapped in his arms and she missed him. They’d shared kisses on the couch, and one final one before she’d left the hotel the next afternoon. She couldn’t lie and say she didn’t really really missed him. “You ready?” Madiyson’s voice broke Amani’s daydreaming. “Huh?” Amani placed her phone in her clutch.

“Who are you texting?” A grin snuck its way across Madiyson’s face. “No one,” Amani mumbled trying to hide the blush sneaking on her face. She knew it wouldn’t show on her cheeks but her friends could read her like a book, Madiyson would know she was embarrassed instantly. “Um-hmm. It must be baby daddy from the restaurant that’s got you grinning like that,” Madiyson teased following her friend out of the house. Amani knew how to handle this. Just play dumb for long enough and Madiyson would lose interest relatively quickly. “Who’s baby daddy?”

“The fine man that came in with his daughter? You told me y’all reconnected at the last party and he spent the night over your house. Don’t act like he ain’t man up and finally get that number. If a dude stays at your house without trying to hit it, he likes you.” Madiyson shrugged. Amani locked the front door and unlocked her car. The two women piled in the car and Amani pulled off. “Or he just wants to be friends with me?” She spoke up a few minutes later. “Ah, so you admit that’s who you were texting?” Shit. Amani froze, “no he still hasn’t called.”

“You’re a horrible liar sis,” Madiyson chuckled. “New message from T’Challa,” the cars automated voice flowed out through the stereo. “Oh who’s T’Challa?” Madiyson smirked and reached for Amani’s phone. The heiress prompt smacked her hand away. “Leave it alone,” Amani whined. “Come on sis, I don’t know why you’re trying to hide that you like him.”

“I’m not trying to hide anything.”

“You’re really bad at lying we’ve gotta fix that soon,” Madiyson mock sighed.

“I just, I don’t know what we are right now if we are anything. I don’t want to go around telling y’all about him and we’re just temporary,” Amani relented and explained her feelings to her friend. “See was that so hard?” Madiyson teased. “Shut up,” Amani chuckled.

“In all seriousness I understand. And I respect that. I just want you to be happy. So if he makes you happy figure out what y’all are doing,” Madiyson shrugged. “Do you want to be more than friends?”

“I don’t know. I think I do, but he’s so far.”

“We’ll FaceTime is a thing for a reason,” Madiyson offered.

“Yeah. If it’s not the same as having him in my arms you know?”

“Woah Woah Woah! Time out! Flag on the play! blow the whistle! Y’all have been in each other’s arms?” Madiyson exclaimed. Amani sighed at her own slip-up. She and her big mouth. This conversation would never end now. “We may or may not have had a movie night in his hotel room a few months ago. “What! Why didn’t you tell me!” Madiyson pouted.

It isn’t that big of a deal. We just watched a movie and went to bed.”

“You spent the night!

Amani inwardly groaned. This big mouth just didn’t know when to stop. “ Yeah it was late and he offered me a guest bedroom,” Amani explained. Things didn’t exactly happen in that order, but what Madiyson didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. “Can we switch topics now?” Amani pouted.

“What else you’re wanna talk about then? And it better be good to replace this conversation.” Madiyson sassed. “How about we’re here?” Amani pulled her car into valet. “Sure but we will finish this conversation later,” Madiyson pointer at her friend before allowing the valet to help her out of the car.

“Thank you,” Amani smiles at the worker before handing him her keys. She walked around the car making sure to the train of her outfit off of the ground. Once Madiyson had Her train in hand as well, they headed into the event together.

Two hours later found Amani conversing with one of the board of directors. He was explaining the idea he was going to propose at the next board meeting. She knew that the gentleman truly wanted her feedback and approval, but Amani couldn’t help the fact that her mind was wandering. She decided that she would ask the gentleman to email her a copy of his proposal and she would offer the best feedback she could that way. It was true that Amani, nor Amare, had a heart for business, but they did truly care about their parent’s legacy. Amani had watched her parents struggle for too long to build this business. There was no way she was going to watch it fall. So even though she and Amare weren’t on payroll, she made sure to keep abreast of what management had in store for her parents’ company. Feeling bad for having virtually ignored this man’s whole spiel, Amani decided to politely interrupt and ask him to email her, when a familiar voice washed over her spine. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering If I may have a word with the lady,” the voice asked. The look on the board member’s face gave the king away. “Of course your majesty,” the man stuttered. Amani felt a genuine smile erupting on her face for the first time tonight. She didn’t bother trying to fight it when she turned to look at T’Challa. “I’m sorry for the interruption,” Amani turned back to the board member, “f you email me your proposal I’d be more than happy to provide my full opinions and continue this conversation soon,” Amani offered. “I’ll send it to you tomorrow,” the man smiled. “Have a good night Ms. Okeke, your majesty.” Amani watched him walk out of earshot before turning back to the man that had been occupying her phone and mind for the past two months.

“Perfect timing as usual,” Amani smiled up at the king. Her heart fluttered at the sight of his smile. “I was known for being quite the prince charming back in my day,” the king smiled. “Care to sneak away with me?” T’Challa offered Amani his arm. She glanced over at Madiyson who’d been talking to a young exec from a sister company. Seeing them now moving to the dance floor she decided she’d text her to let her know where’d she had gone. “Where did you have in mind, your majesty?” T’Challa smiled, “I’m afraid the balcony will have to stand in for some great adventure. I didn’t know I’d see you tonight.”

“Me neither, I thought you weren’t going to be back in the country for a while?” Amani asked as they strolled around the room towards the balcony. Her cape slid behind her as they moved around the hotel ballroom. “I didn’t plan on it. I was hoping to surprise you this weekend, I heard about this event from another company I’m looking to invest in. When you said you had to work, I didn’t know that you’d be here.” The king explained. “I guess we both got lucky then,” Amani grinned. They stepped out into the night air. T’Challa stooping to help Amani and her cape get settled on a bench stationed on the balcony. “Thank you,” the mocha-skinned woman blushed. “You look beautiful,” T’Challa smiled. Amani blushed and played with the beading on her gown. Her dress was a true nude for her skin tone, which was a rarity for black women. It was covered in a layer of sheer white fabric and delicately beaded all the way down. A sheer white cape hung down from her shoulders and created a simple but dramatic train. “You look very handsome yourself,” Amani smiled up at him. “I’ve missed you,” she admitted as they smiled at each other. “I’ve missed you as well love,” The king leaned closer. “I missed doing this too,” he smirked before engulfing Amani in a kiss. His lips took over her mind as she kissed him back.

T’Challa pulled away a few seconds later. She was glad someone was thinking straight. This was not the best place to get carried away. Amani placed one last peck on his lips before sitting back fully. She bit her lip and looked away. “I should probably text Madiyson and let her know where I am.” She pulled out her phone and sent a quick message. She felt T’Challa’s eyes staring at her as she placed her phone back in her clutch. When she looked up he pulled her into another kiss. “Last one,” he whispered as he pulled away. Amani couldn’t fight the giant smile that took over her face. Her heart was racing and her stomach was fluttering. Just the thought that he was just intoxicated by her as she was by him was a major confidence booster. “How’ve you been?” Amani asked, she let her hand rest on the bench in between her and T’Challa. She observed his profile in the city lights. The sound of traffic surrounded them while the stared at the city and her lights. She’d never felt more at peace. “Busy, but good. Mostly missing you. Ada misses you as well.”

“I miss her too,” Amani brightened at the thought of the little girl. “How have you been heiress?” T’Challa takes her hand in his own. He rubs circles along the back of her hand while she gathers her thoughts. “I’ve been good. Aching to get out of the country. I’ve been seriously thinking about starting my own event planning company. I think a little vacation could give me the time I need to finally put it into motion,” Amani revealed. “I think that sounds like a great idea,” T’Challa squeezed her hand.

“Really? You don’t think it sounds crazy?”

“No. I think distance can very well bring clarity. It sounds like you’re serious and putting a lot of thought into this. You aren’t taking it lightly and rushing it.”

“Thank you. I’m still a little nervous but I think it’ll be good for me to do something I love for once.”

“I agree. Where were you thinking about going?” T’Challa moved closer to her on the bench. “I’m not sure yet,” Amani thought, “I’ve gotta decide whether I want to stay domestic or go international. Maybe I’ll come visit you,” Amani teased. T’Challa grinned, “ You are always more than welcome.” The two fell into a comfortable silence once more. “I’m glad I saw you tonight,” Amani blurted.

“Me too Amani. Can I take you out tomorrow night? If you aren’t busy or don’t have plans,” the king asked. “Of course. Tomorrow is my off day, so I’m all yours.” Amani swore she saw something ignite behind T’Challa’s eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it came. “I have some meetings in the morning, but I’ll pick you up at 5:30?”

“I’ll be waiting.” Amani smiled, “How should I dress?”

“You look beautiful in anything,” T’Challa grinned. Amani rolled her eyes, “Really though, you always look so nice. I don’t want to wear jeans and then you show up in a suit.”

“It’s just a nice dinner and a surprise. Nothing Formal.” The king explained. Amani nodded. “Kumkani,” someone called from the balcony doors. Amani started to move away but T’Challa held her in place, with her hand in his lap. “Something has happened, we must leave quickly,” The woman relayed to T’Challa. Amani could feel the man tense and sigh. “No rest for the weary huh?” she teased in a whisper. The king offered her a small smile. “Go, I understand,” she reassured. The king nodded and stood, helping her up off the bench with him. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he reassured. Amani blushed as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She offered a small wave as he backed off of the balcony before following the woman away. She checked her phone and realized that she and T’Challa had been on the balcony for a little over and hour. Ready to head home she spotted Madiyson talking to the same young man in a corner. She walked over and smiled at her friend. “Hey,” Madiyson smiled, “Marquis, this is my friend Amani. Amani this is Marquis. He works at Meridian Corp. We used to go to high school together.”

“Nice to meet you, Marquis,” Amani shook his hand. “Nice to meet you as well Ms. Okeke.” he smiled. “How’d you-” Amani started. “There isn’t a soul in this room who doesn’t know who the Okeke daughters are,” Marquis explained. “Oh. Well please call me Amani, a friend of Madiyson’s is a friend of mine.”

“Good to know Amani,” Marquis smiled, “I’ll leave you two alone. I really enjoyed seeing you again Madiyson.”

Madiyson blushed, “I enjoyed seeing you again too.” Marquis pulled her in for a hug, “I’ll call you soon,” he promised as he pulled away. With another nod at Amani, the young executive vanished into the crowd. “I didn’t know you were popular like that in these circles. You must be like the princess of Atlanta high society.” Madison gawked. “I guess,” Amani laughed. “You ready to call it a night?”

“Yeah girl, you were right. Marquis is the only remotely interesting person I’ve met all night,” Madiyson laughed. “I tried to tell you,” Amani joined in as they left the ballroom and got onto a balcony. Her phone buzzed in her purse. She took it out and smiled at the message.

T’Challa: I wish I didn’t have to leave, the emergency resolved itself before I could even get there

Amani: Aww poor baby. There’s always tomorrow though.

T’Challa: Indeed. I’ll be counting down the seconds until I can see you again.

Amani: Charmer.

T’Challa: Is it working?

Amani: You’re insufferable.

T’Challa: you seem to tolerate it pretty well.

Amani rolled her eyes.

Amani: Good night your majesty.

T’Challa: goodnight Amani.

“Amani!,” Madiyson’s shout pulled her out of her daze. “Yeah, sorry what’s up?”

“I asked where you vanished too earlier,” Madiyson asked. “Oh, T’Challa was here so we-”

“You saw him?! You promised you’d introduce me.”

“He had to leave early,” Amani explained. “What’d y’all talk about? I thought he wasn’t going to be in the country soon?”

“I’ll tell you all about it if you drive,” Amani chuckled.

“Can I spend the night?” Madiyson looked at her friend, her hand out awaiting the keys. “Of course.” Amani laughed.

“Then hand me the keys Mamacita! I’ll drive you anywhere you wanna go.”

Taglist: @almostpurelysmut @blackbypurpose @nyneebee @hutchj @tchoking @sisterwifeudaku @wikiwakanda @royallyprincesslilly @90sinspiredgirl @strictlyashley @afraiddreamingandloving @thedelightfulone @autumn242 @purple-apricots @kumkaniudaku @queertrex @kaciidubs @halfrican-heat @skysynclair19 @dramaqueenamby @gorjiss @leahnicole1219 @kreolemami @mzbritt @yoyolovesbucky @derangedcupcake @builtalongthewayside @ilcb7 @chaneajoyyy @lalapalooza718 @ororowrites @leahnicole1219 @dopegalkk @sarcastic-sunshines @sarahboseman @shesakillerkween @waitingonafriend @faatassbitch @lady-love-and-glitter-roses @cxnismajcr

[choupichoups]

Press F (Instagram/College AU) Ch.10

Lucas swears he’s the absolute master of undetected stalking. Or: Eliott is instagram famous and Lucas is the disaster gay who accidentally likes his post.

"You’re sure you're okay with this?”

Lucas pauses, croissant halfway shoved in his mouth as he regards Eliott with an inquisitive brow. “With what?” 

“Me announcing to… uh… all my followers who I’m dating.”

Lucas resumes eating, rolling his eyes as he brushes the crumbs off his fingers. “I already told you it’s okay,” he says, partly muffled due to the food in his mouth. “What can they do anyway?” 

Eliott chokes on a laugh, “What can they do? Lucas, have you seen the shit people do on social media?” He runs a fork over the leftover avocado on his plate. “You know what, I should probably delete that story, it’s only been half an hour anyway—”

“There’s no point, someone’s already saved that by now. It’ll just be up somewhere else.” He shrugs, feeling not an ounce of worry on this subject. “You posted about me before and if you haven’t noticed, some of your fans already found my account too.” He takes a sip of his coffee, smiling as he nibbles on the straw. “And your face is all over that one.” 

Eliott reaches over the table for Lucas’ hand, entangling their fingers together before bringing their hands up to his lips. He brushes a light kiss over the back of Lucas’ hand before pressing a smile into the same spot. “I just don’t want you feeling bad over any of this.” 

“No stranger on the internet can get to me, Eliott,” Lucas says, rolling his eyes again despite the fact that his voice might sound a tad too fond for eight in the morning. “Here.” He detaches their hands to get to his phone, pulling up that adorable photo he took of his boyfriend before leaving the apartment earlier. Tagging Eliott on the post is barely an afterthought and he cackles over the caption before placing his phone back down. “There, now if your admirers attack me it’s gonna be equally my fault.” 

Lucas hands Eliott’s phone over, laughing to himself when his boyfriend’s expression morphs into outright affront after seeing the comments. 

He goes back to eating his food, noticing that his own phone is now buzzing with a phone call. He’s been getting calls from an unknown number for the past week but no voicemails are ever left. Lucas makes a point not to answer until an actual human voice leaves a message, convinced that it’s some marketing company trying to sell him their life insurance or some shit. The buzzing stops eventually but it goes straight to into ringing again immediately after. 

Lucas wipes his hands down and turns the phone over, almost choking in his haste to swallow down the food in his mouth when he sees the caller. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m looking for Lucas Lallemant?” 

“Yeah, that’s me,” he responds in a rush. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m so sorry for calling in so early, but Mrs. Lallemant has been asking for you all morning and we’re having trouble having her cooperate--”

Lucas doesn't let the nurse finish. “I’ll be there, I’ll be there soon. Can you let her know that?”

“Of course, we will, thank you--”

He’s already digging around his wallet before he ends the call, looking up to his boyfriend’s worried eyes when Lucas leaves money on the table that is very likely much more than what they owe. 

“I need to go,” he says, stumbling out of his chair in his hurry.

“Whoa, hey, slow down, what’s going on?” Eliott follows after him, catching his arm in a strong grip before Lucas can dash out to the streets without him. 

“My mom--” Shit, he doesn’t have the time nor the brain power to give Eliott the entire tragic backstory so he settles for an agitated, “It’s complicated. I have to go see her.” 

“Can I take you there?” Eliott asks carefully, holding Lucas’ face in between his hands so that the latter’s eyes would quit darting around and just focus on him. “I won’t go in with you, I’ll just drop you off. Is that okay?”

And Lucas does focus on him, worry increasing as he thinks of what Eliott’s reaction would be. But explaining to his boyfriend why he can’t accompany Lucas to a task as menial as dropping one’s significant other off to their parent’s house sounds more taxing than simply agreeing, so he nods. If Eliott notices the reluctance in the act, he doesn’t question it. 

But the closer their bus gets to the clinic, the more Lucas is starting to regret that decision. 

He can feel Eliott’s confused glances when Lucas gets off at a stop nowhere near the residential areas. The clinic is a lengthy building that takes up the entire acre beside the road— there are no other buildings beside it and the giant sign by the gated entrance gives it away without Lucas needing to explain where they are. 

Chancing a glance up at his boyfriend, Lucas can’t tell what’s going through his mind. Eliott’s face is blank, the confusion and worry from earlier have disappeared. It makes Lucas nervous.

However, that’s something he’ll have to deal with later. 

“Hey, I’m Lucas Lallemant, I got a call earlier for…”

“Ah, yes. I’ll get the nurse for you right away.” The receptionist busies herself with the phone and Lucas turns to Eliott, fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt. 

“Um, you don’t… have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Eliott’s eyes are trained on something over Lucas’ shoulder. “I’ll wait for you out here.” 

“Lucas?” A frazzled looking nurse addresses him and Lucas follows after her, trying not to think too much about Eliott being present for this. “Thank you so much for coming so quickly, we had notes on her file to call you if something like this happens but with Marie gone, we weren’t quite sure how to proceed.” 

“That’s fine, thanks.” To be fair, his mother hasn’t had any terrible meltdowns since moving into this clinic. 

“She’s in her room, not acknowledging anyone, just keeps saying your name.” 

Lucas thanks her again with a small, apologetic smile. The nurse looks young— she’s probably new, judging from the many emotions flitting across her features for every word she speaks. Lucas hasn’t seen a professional in this field who feels so much. Not even Marie. 

“Mama?” No response, but he’s figured that would happen. “I’m here now,” he continues, sitting by the bed and fixing the sheets around her shoulders. She’s situated to face the window, back towards him. “Did you need me for something?”

Still nothing. He sees the untouched glass of water placed beside her pills and Lucas runs a finger over the condensation forming on the side as he thinks of what to say next. 

She’s told him once before that hearing his voice helps her a lot. Especially on days like this, when she’s unresponsive and away from the reality she doesn’t quite want to face. 

“Do you hear it?”

Or maybe not as unresponsive as he’d thought.

Lucas straightens up, leaning on the edge of the bed to hear her soft voice better. “Hear what?”

“The trumpet.” 

There’s only silence around them. “No, mama, where is it?” 

“It’s been playing since this morning.” She turns on the bed, facing towards the ceiling. Lucas can see the pooling tears in her eyes. “The rapture’s here and I’ve been left behind. It’s because I’m such a bad mother is it? A terrible wife?”

“No—” He shuffles forward to take one of her hands in both of his. 

“Ephesians 5:22; wives, submit to your husbands,” she quotes absently, hand limp inside Lucas’ hold. “Is it because of the fight?”

A frown etches its way onto Lucas’ features. “What fight?” 

Tears escape from their fragile perch in her eyes. “He’s right.” She turns her head, looking at him this time. “Your life would be so much better if I just go.” 

Lucas doesn’t know where all of this is coming from but there’s dread forming in his chest, his mind picking up on everything that goes unsaid. “Where are you going, mama?” He shakes his head, the sight of her delicate tears triggering his own. “That’s not true, I don’t want you to go.” 

“So much better without me,” she whispers, head shifting back to resume gazing out the window. Her hand remains small and slack in his grip. It’s evident that she’s not listening to a word he says. 

Lucas gets up, scrubbing at his face as he closes the door to her room. He needs to tell Eliott to leave without him as he’s probably going to take a while— he doesn’t feel right, leaving his mama right away when she’s in this terrible of a state. 

Eliott’s standing by the walls only a few steps from the room and he gently takes Lucas’ face in his hands, wiping at the tears that stubbornly make their way down his cheeks despite his best efforts to stop fucking crying already. 

“Sorry, sorry I’m— this is so sudden I—” He tries to speak through the hitches in his breath. 

“Shh, don’t apologize,” Eliott says, pulling Lucas closer to place a sweet kiss on his forehead. 

This only serves to make him cry harder for whatever reason and Lucas has to take a deep breath, fists balled at his sides as he tries to reign over his emotions. “I’m gonna stay here for a bit, you should go.” His hands raise to hold onto Eliott’s forearms, thumbs tracing soft lines from back of the palm to wrist. “I don’t know how long I’ll be.” 

Eliott nods but doesn’t make a move to pull away. 

They only do so when a pair of footsteps echo in the hallway and Lucas does a double take when he sees the man walking beside his mama’s temporary nurse. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

Both his father and the nurse pause and Lucas is starting to really feel bad for the poor nurse, getting caught up in their family drama all in less than a day’s worth. 

“Please excuse us,” his dad says to her and she takes the golden opportunity to scramble the hell away from them. Eliott doesn’t take the same cue, moving back to give them space but staying within Lucas’ reach. “Hello, Lucas.”

“Why are you here?” Lucas brushes off the niceties. If there’s one thing he can’t stand it’s his father pretending to be a decent human being in front of others. “Have you been talking to her?”

“Yes.”

“Who says you can do that?”

“She’s my wife, I can talk to her.”

“She’s not!” Lucas steps closer, raising his voice as if he’d done the opposite. This man has lost the right to call them his family. “You don’t get to talk to her whenever it’s convenient for you! Did you see what you’ve done? She was doing so fucking well without you!” 

“Mind your language, Lucas,” his father grits out. The sound of crumpling papers makes Lucas look down to where the man’s hands are clenched around a file folder. “I’m still your father and I won’t tolerate—”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” Lucas scoffs, shaking his head at the audacity. “You’re so full of it.” 

Lucas sees the man’s fisted hand move— he sees it, but he does nothing to stop it. Maybe if the hospital cameras catch the bastard acting with violence then Lucas would have a real reason to want to throw him into jail. Or at least to have him stop stirring shit in their lives. Legally. 

But no pain reaches him even as he braces for it and when he tunes back in, it’s to Eliott’s back in front of him, one hand gripping Lucas’ father’s wrist in a firm hold. 

“That’s enough, sir,” Eliott says, mock polite. 

All hands drop back down to their respective sides but the tension remains high up in the air. 

His father’s eyes switch from Eliott to Lucas, face impassive. The thick silence only lasts a for few moments, however, because Lucas’ father is as shameless as one can get. He thrusts the file folder under Lucas’ nose, sidestepping the entire wall that is Eliott standing in between the two of them.

“Sign these and mail them back to me, pronto,” the man says, pocketing his hands once Lucas has taken the papers. “Don’t give me a hard time about this, it’s for your own good.” 

Lucas spares him the coldest glance he can manage as he reads through the file. Insurance claims? Transfer permission? To Marseille? Taking a sharp breath through his nose, Lucas simmers in silent rage. So this sad excuse of a man finds a new job that provides extra allowance to employees caring for disabled family members and suddenly he’s husband of the year? Fuck that, fuck him. 

Fuck everything and his fucked up life. 

“Fuck you,” he says, throwing the papers back at his father. He doesn’t give a shit that they land scattered on the ground— maybe the man would pick up some of his dignity along with those papers that way. 

Lucas turns around before his father gets over the shock of his reaction, gazes at his mama’s door but he can’t. He can’t deal right now, not after this. There’s a chance that he’d actually lose whatever’s left of his sanity if he goes in and is faced with the hopeless look in her eyes. His mother, who’s supposed to take care of him, hasn’t been able to care for herself for years and years. His father, who’s supposed to provide for him, has abandoned him for longer. Now, he’s stuck dealing with their escalating issues again, an unwilling tether to a breakable thread. He doesn’t know why his mother’s holding on so tight to the delusion of a complete family, he doesn’t know why his father’s holding on so tight to the farce of being a good man. 

And Lucas is so tired of this bullshit. 

His phone rings with the same unknown number and Lucas wants to throw it to the fucking floor.

He runs for the back exit, not wanting to run into his father when the man leaves the clinic as well. There’s a dire need inside him to breathe in some air, one that doesn’t linger with antiseptic, that clean, fabricated hospital smell that drives him up the wall. 

Eliott’s there to hold him when his knees threaten to buckle under him. Lucas turns into his arms immediately, clinging onto the hood of his sweater as he takes in unsteady breaths.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that,” he says into Eliott’s shoulder, tears making their unwelcome comeback in his tired eyes. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Eliott assures him, hands running back and forth over Lucas’ back. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Lucas retorts. “It’s not.”

“Hey.” Eliott tilts his chin up with a thumb and smiles fondly when Lucas sniffs miserably up at him. Eliott brushes a hand through his hair and kisses him on the forehead again. Lucas’ heart melts, settling calmer with the knowledge that even if his world feels like it’s going for another ride in hell, at least Eliott’s here with him this time, the angel that brings light to his life. “Don’t worry, I get it.”

More tears spill over the corners of his eyes. Eliott deserves happiness all the time, not Saturdays with strange clinics and witnessing shouting matches with horrid fathers. 

“I’m so tired,” Lucas whispers, closing his eyes when Eliott’s thumbs come up to brush away his tears. He doesn’t know what he’ll do without them now-- doesn’t ever want to go back to a time without Eliott’s warm, gentle touches. “I just wish that everything’s normal for once.” 

“Normal how?” 

Lucas gestures to the clinic where he and his father held that unpleasant confrontation. The clinic has started to become his mama’s safe space but now that man’s just gone and ruined it. “I’m tired of that bullshit. Why can’t I just have a normal family?” He shakes his head, feels his phone ringing in his pocket for the thousandth fucking time and he doesn’t even want to think about what’s brewing on that front. Telemarketers aren’t that persistent. “Why can’t I just have normal people around me? A normal life? Fuck, I hate this. I don’t wanna deal with any more of this.” 

Eliott’s quiet above him but he holds Lucas tight in his arms, very tight. Lucas buries his face in Eliott’s neck and locks his own arms around Eliott’s torso, deflating after finally getting those thoughts out in the open. 

“You don’t have to.” Eliott whispers into Lucas’ temple, cheek nuzzling into his hair. 

“Hm?”

“You won’t have to deal with it.” 

“How?” 

“Let’s get you home, okay?” 

Yann is still there when Eliott drops him off at the apartment. Lucas must look as shitty as he feels because Yann doesn’t tease when he opens the door for them, Lucas being too out of it to bring out his keys. He can feel his best friend and his boyfriend exchange glances above his head and in a better state, he’d probably coo at how they’re able to hold silent conversations already. 

But as it is, Lucas just wants to take a goddamn nap.

Lucas turns to ask if Eliott would like to stay with them but his boyfriend brings him in for a rather abrupt embrace, so quick and inexplicably strong that Lucas loses his breath for a moment. His hands fly up to Eliott’s shoulders, fingers digging into the fabric of his hoodie as he presses his nose to Eliott’s chest. Eliott has his face buried in his neck and Lucas feels him take a deep, lingering inhale before pulling away with a soft touch to Lucas’ hair. 

“Take care of yourself, hm?” 

Lucas nods dumbly, watching Eliott walk away. 

lucallemant thank you for coming with me earlier do you have any plans tomorrow?

srodulv me and idris actually have to start another project so I'm gonna be busy for a while

lucallemant oh ok airplane mode type of busy?

srodulv yeah

lucallemant okay, take care of yourself this time lol don’t forget to eat and sleep  good night eliott ♥️

[solecize]

.  .  .  𝑩𝑨𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑼𝑺  (EPILOGUE) |

— — sometimes it’s the right person and the wrong time and place. you always thought that fate had more in store for you and jung jaehyun, but the college basketball player who once broke your heart and pieced it back together went missing for years on end after the crash of your relationship. now, you’ve put everything in the hands of fate.

note: not proofread of course this is probably shit bc its 4am also literally who the fuck asked for this to be so long lmao well, here it is. i originally wasn’t going to post this because i was satisfied with part twenty but clearly i wasn’t bc i added all of this lol and also everyone keeps asking for it 

MAY 27TH, 2022. 7:07 PM KST.

there was nothing you hated more than love songs.

they were lame, cheesy, and reminded you of your failed love life. however, since sooyoung never came to visit seoul, she insisted that she had full control of your apartment’s speakers for her short stay here. in fact, sooyoung made herself quite at home. johnny insisted that he would sleep on the couch and that she should take his bedroom, while she proceeded to redecorate yours. that included your closet.

“good lord, is this from high school? why don’t you own anything other than a variant of the same three colours? is this MINE?” sooyoung flung clothes left and right as she rummaged through your wardrobe. in the background, old ed sheeran slow dance-type songs was on full blast, leaving you in a puddle of irritation on your bed.

you snapped your head up to see sooyoung holding a red mini skirt that you vaguely remembered shoving beneath your workout clothes because you weren’t sure where to put it. “i dunno, probably.” you gave a half shrug.

she rolled her eyes and flung it into the pile that she’d been working on. “you have absolutely no formal clothing here. are you just going to show up to doyoung’s wedding in this stripper dress?” your friend of many, many years grumbled. “listen, i know it’s been a while since you’ve gotten laid, but. . .”

“ew, stop it.”

“am i wrong?” sooyoung cocked an eyebrow. “ever since you broke up with jaehyun, as far as i know and as far as lucas and i have gossiped, you have barely kept a relationship since.” 

the mention of your ex boyfriend left you having no choice but to hurl one of your throw pillows at sooyoung, aiming for her head, but she effectively ducked down in time. although it’d been quite some time since the split, you still weren’t comfortable talking about jaehyun. you’d casually dated here and there, but nothing really lasted longer than a month. you blamed it on school and dance and work, which were all genuinely busy for you, but it didn’t seem right.

you said, “god. don’t say it like that, it’s pathetic!” plain embarrassing, really. “it’s been, like, three years.”

that didn’t mean that the thoughts of jaehyun didn’t plague your mind from time to time. he’d sometimes creep up with your thoughts at night, keeping you tossing and turning for hours. you always figured that it was what life intended to happen, despite the fact that you were the one who voluntarily ended it.

after becoming an official couple during your freshman year, the two of you had a wonderful time together. however, it didn’t take long for reality to sink in when jaehyun’s graduation date was fast approaching. generally, it wasn’t supposed to be a problem, but then he revealed something to you that he himself admitted that he should’ve told you about far sooner. law school. you always figured that jaehyun would want to continue studying in seoul, where his family was and where his feet seemed to be permanently set. that was the beginning of the end and down came crashing the supposed plans that the two of you were supposed to have.

before meeting you, jaehyun planned to move back to america and attend law school there. he revealed that he never told you about it because he decided that he would stay in korea for you. obviously, you weren’t going to have any of that. it was his dream—and a hell of a hard dream to get into, you did your research—and there was no way in hell that you were going to let him give it up for you. 

“i’ll always need you” was what he told you before he left. it was never supposed to be the end and you thought that three years was nothing. looking back, it was definitely naive to assume that the sudden change of jaehyun’s position from across the city district to across the world wasn’t going to affect you.

you remembered the first signs of the relationship’s downfall. they were subtle and you couldn’t have possibly noticed them back them, however in retrospect, you truly should have. postponed upon postponed skype sessions, forgetting important dates, and of course, the arguments.  immaturity made the fights worse, a trait evident in him considering the nature of the bet, but you decided that he was bettering himself. you and jaehyun were fairly young and possessed equally destructive tempers. 

at the end of everything, after the summer of your life and the pitfalls that came with the autumn semester, you and jaehyun called it quits on valentine’s day. it was his birthday and a holiday of love, but the feeling was mutual. there was still love between the two of you, but it was decided that life had a different plan. sometimes, it was the right person, but the wrong time and place. from that point on, you lived life the way it was meant to be. 

the sound of the front door opening brought you back to reality. you hadn’t noticed, too busy reminiscing about your past, but sooyoung was delivering a tirade about your love life. there were bits and pieces that you caught onto, including how you “never put yourself first anymore” and how “ballet wasn’t going to put a ring on your finger,” but you chose to mute her out. thankfully, she stopped when she, too, heard the front door open. 

“johnny?” she called out, as she turned her music down from her phone.

a muffle acknowledgement could be heard and not even seconds later, johnny appeared at your bedroom doorway. he wore a sleek maroon suit and a matching tie, an outfit that was probably worth more than quadruple your rent. these days, johnny looked exhausted at home, yet still managed to find ways to mask his humanity while he was at work.

despite the fact that you lived with him in an average two bedroom apartment, he was still john seo, heir to some big shot insurance company and son to one of korea’s most renowned chefs. it was easy to forget, as you always saw him as just another brainless jock in college. things changed after johnny was left high and dry when sicheng left to further his modelling career, doyoung went to teachers’ college, and jaehyun disappeared to the other side of the world. the latter was what truly brought the two of you together.

for quite some time, you continued to hold a grudge against johnny for the idiotic bet that he commenced. it took some effort, but after deciding to get to know jaehyun all over again, you realized that you might as well show johnny the same kindness. you did so, and discovered that johnny was still the same goofy person that you thought you knew. he’d definitely grown a greater appreciation for you after you helped him with his injury that fateful night. sure, he was a little bit immature at times, but you saw that the end of his college career was what forced him to grow up. it was like reality had finally sunk in when all of his friends left and he had no choice but to uphold the promise he made to his father as a teenager and work for the family company. usually, he would have turned to jaehyun for comfort and hurt from the absence of his best friend. at the same time, you also felt the same way after he left and inevitably, the two of you turned to each other and thus, blossomed a deeper friendship with the man, more than you’d ever expected.

“i still can’t believe you willingly choose to live in this apartment with y/n instead of a big house like you can probably afford,” sooyoung said out of nowhere, eyeing his appearance.

you retorted, “there’s no fun in that.” it was true, johnny could probably move out at any second he wanted to. since sooyoung moved to france, the arrangement came naturally. he moved into the apartment that once belonged to lucas and sooyoung, then you and sooyoung, after lucas moved closer to campus. eventually it was just you, who could not pay the rent as one person, alone. two years later, the system was still in tact and johnny told you that he was never in a rush to move out, as he always thought it would feel lonely to live alone. 

you’d effectively had enough of sooyoung’s attempt at being a personal stylist and got up yourself, making your way to scour your closet for an outfit.

“don’t tell me you’re looking for something to wear to the wedding. there’s literally two days left.” johnny grimaced, looking around the room, where the floor could barely be seen due to scattered articles of clothing. “dude, you’ve had so many months to find a dress.”

sooyoung poked his chest. “not everybody owns two hundred different suits, jonathan.”

it wasn’t as much of a travesty as sooyoung made it out to be, but your closet did look pretty bad. there wasn’t exactly a myriad of options that screamed wedding, except for one or two dresses that you pictured better in your mind when you thought of options that you already owned. this was going to be a pain in the ass.

“can this wait, though?” johnny glanced past your head, at the clock on the wall above your dresser. “i’m going to go pick up sicheng at the airport. i’m assuming you want to come?”

you gasped dramatically. “my wedding date is here, of course i’m coming!” a grin stretched across your face.”

all of your friends were tragically single, even the rich and famous ones like sicheng and johnny. doyoung made a remark about how none of you were probably going to find a date to the wedding. with everyone digging deep into their inner smartass, you all paired up as dates for the elementary school teacher’s wedding. it was you and sicheng and johnny and sooyoung, while lucas insisted that he was going to be objecting to the marriage during the ceremony so that he could have doyoung to himself. 

at the end of the day, you were just happy to have all of your friends in one place at once.

DECEMBER 24TH, 2019. 10:49 PM KST.

distracted by the glimmering lights of christmas, you failed to do anything about jaehyun’s standoffish behaviour. since the holiday season kicked into full swing weeks ago, you were preoccupied with juggling the christmas ballet show, buying presents for your friends, and of course, school. now, you found yourself in the middle of johnny’s family’s penthouse in gangnam, sipping on a candy cane cocktail.

“what do you mean, you’re thinking about dropping out?” your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, as sooyoung announced the news to your group of friends. your reaction wasn’t the worse one, however, as lucas literally choked on the gingerbread man he was eating.

beside you, doyoung patted lucas’ back, trying to get him to recover. “for good?” he eyed the female.

she shrugged carelessly. “yeah. i don’t think this is for me.”

“but, you only have a year left,” said sicheng, who seemed to appear out of nowhere. you even jumped at his voice, as you thought you last saw him across the living room talking to some fancy businessmen with johnny and jaehyun.

you surveyed that side of the room, where you saw johnny still in place. ever since graduation, he was thrown right into the world of his father’s insurance company. it surprised you just how robotic he could become in front of important people, as impressive as it was, yet was able to continue be as goofy as ever with you and your friends. it was a little disappointing to see that his own christmas party was full of business, even though sicheng and jaehyun flew out back for this short amount of time. jaehyun. swiftly, you noticed that he was also missing.

tapping sicheng’s arm, you inquired, “do you know where jaehyun went?” 

it wasn’t hard to recognize his change in attitude since landing in korea. you figured it might have had something to do with the fight that the two of you had right before he left, one not about anything particularly specific, but a build up of several issues arising over the months. nonetheless, after a while, the two of you seemed to settle the conflict mutually without actually  saying anything out loud.

the two of you fought so often because of your circumstances, but forgave just as easily because you loved each other too much to let things affect you. in the long run, it wasn’t going to be healthy. the two opposing ends were simply not meant to be cancelled out.

“hm? oh, i think he went out on the balcony, the one in johnny’s room.”

sooyoung was still busy explaining her sudden desire to travel the world and while you were very concerned with your friend’s spontaneity (and also the fact that if she dropped out, you would be roommate-less, as lucas moved out), you got up from your position on the couch. weaving through the crowd was easy enough and you strolled down the narrow hallway that johnny showed you earlier, where the bedrooms were located. you picked his out easily and knocked first, to no answer. as a result, you decided to just open it up.

the entire room was dim and you could barely see anything at all, despite the little light streaming in through the blinds. beyond was johnny’s balcony, illuminated by the sights of seoul and the luminosity of the skyscrapers along the city’s skyline. you could barely make out a figure leaning against the railing. 

it was jaehyun’s red jordans that gave him away. he flew in from pennsylvania without bringing any dress shoes and it was either these basketball shoes that he gave you before leaving—of course he gave you those—or the ugly vans that he’d been wearing during the whole trip back. you knew his broad shoulders and the way he always balanced his weight on his right leg and bent his left.

you approached slowly, but he somehow managed to hear you and took a glimpse over his shoulder. he smiled softly when he saw you and slid the balcony door open.

“hey,” he said, voice quieter than usual. “i thought you’d be enjoying the party.” jaehyun wrapped one arm around your shoulders.

“you’ve barely been around, jae.” you frowned. although the two of you arrived together, he always seemed to be off to the side alone, even with the few times johnny roped him into conversation with other people. “are you tired or something? we can go home if you want.”

at that, he only shrugged. “it’s whatever.”

you studied his expression intently, possibly for answers as to why he was acting so off. it was all the jaehyun had been doing lately, shrugging everything off and acting sluggishly. it was like someone who didn’t want to be here. this was the first time you’d finally taken notice of it.

he saw the way you were looking at him and leaned in to press a kiss against your forehead, as if to reassure you, but it felt empty. there was something floating in the air that didn’t want to be said, something that didn’t want to be touched. however, the two of you continued on with smiles and left for the party once again.

MAY 28TH, 2022. 2:11 PM KST.

jaehyun hated thinking about you and the way things ended with your relationship. you’d always told him that everything happened for a reason and the end of the two of you had one as well. he just always thought that there could’ve and should’ve been something done to prevent it. of course, jaehyun placed a lot of the guilt on himself and it took a while for him to realize that some things just aren’t meant to be. 

the male rarely came home anymore. in the past three years, other than the first christmas, he only flew over for his mother’s birthday, as well as his sister’s, both of which were conveniently during the same week. he spent the holidays alone, albeit with some of his newfound friends in america. meanwhile, his old ones rarely heard from him. jaehyun chatted scarcely with his former teammates here and there, mostly talking to johnny the most because of the latter’s persistence. hell, it took doyoung weeks to get ahold of jaehyun so that he could extend the invitation to his wedding. it was a big deal when jaehyun hopped on a plane back to seoul and that was precisely why he did not tell anybody other than doyoung and johnny.

home reminded him of you. his family moved away from seoul to a quieter town years ago and while seoul was his home territory, it was always going to be a city that belonged to the two of you. even just getting off the plane and taking a look around the airport, jaehyun remembered the exact spot that he said goodbye to you. it had been three years, but after supressing the emotions and memories for years, it all came flooding back to him. he tried to shove those feeling away yet again when he caught sight of a familiar friend at the arrivals gate.

“JAEHYUN!” doyoung had never hugged jaehyun so hard in his entire life before, the newly arrived male could literally feel the breath getting squeezed out of him.

seeing doyoung again was like reuniting with a brother. “holy fuck, it’s been way too long.” he gasped for air when he was finally released.

“did you get buffer, what the hell?”

“uh, are you about to get hitched, what the hell?” 

the only other thing that jaehyun could’ve asked for was the presence of their other friends. from what doyoung told him, johnny picked sicheng up from the airport the day prior, sooyoung flew in at the beginning of the week, and y/n wrestled lucas out of his apartment to go last minute shopping today. doyoung probably noticed the way jaehyun shifted uncomfortably at the mention of his ex girlfriend’s name, but didn’t say anything.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t have come earlier,” jaehyun said, i really wanted to come to the bachelor’s party, but i had my graduation ceremony earlier this week.” both men grinned, hearing about the bachelor’s party. of course, all the crazy shit that went down was relayed to jaehyun, including how lucas gave doyoung a lap dance, jungwoo broke an entire television, how johnny and taeil pushed doyoung into a pool full of hired dancers—everything. 

doyoung shrugged it off. “don’t worry about it, but hey! congrats! you did it, you’re basically a real lawyer now.” he nudged his friend playfully. “you’re going to be living comfortably there in america with that law degree under your belt.”

a lack of response came from jaehyun’s end, as the two men made their way to the pick up section, where doyoung’s fiancee was waiting for them in the car. jaehyun figured that his late arrival would just add to the element of surprise. they talked about wedding preparations, work, and more. 

they stepped outside, through the automatic sliding doors and the seoul sun hit jaehyun’s face without hesitation. he took a deep breath—this was home and he was finally here. for the most part, at least, this was home. now, he needed to find the missing part of it.

MAY 29TH, 2022. 9:20 PM KST.

the universe felt like everything in balance for the first time in forever. the spring of your first year of college was one that was for the history books and relieving that with all of your old friends around you made you feel nothing less than content. the ending notes of an usher song faded into another one, as you and your friends took your second round of shots at the bar.

“i’m so ready to get fucked up tonight!” lucas whooped and it made you happy; you had not seen him, for a lack of better words, so wild and free in a long time.

the volume of his yell and the proximity to taeyong’s ear caused your brother to wince harshly at the assault. you giggled at that, patting his arm with sympathy. similar to lucas, taeyong rarely found time to myself and to have fun. you thought it was nice of doyoung to also invite him, considering they spent four years of their lives swearing on each others’ names, even though they never actually knew each other. he also seemed to serve as lucas’ last minute date when he realized that it was probably best that he shouldn’t object to the marriage during the ceremony. (he still muttered it under his breath, though)

there were no other words to describe the reception other than ravishing, breathtaking, or simply just beautiful. the surrounding area was full of lush gardens and trees that had absolutely no business being in the middle of bustling seoul. twinkly lights hung from pole to pole, as the sounds of laughter and music filled your ears.

with that, lucas was dragged away by sooyoung to the middle of the dancefloor and doyoung left to attend to his new wife. this left you with taeyong and sicheng. it was an hour or so into the reception and you were not nearly as drunk as you wanted to be after an exhausting day, so you ordered a cocktail for yourself. 

looking briefly back at the pair after ordering, you noticed them having an oddly intense conversation. taeyong was making some peculiar hand gestures and it seemed like sicheng was agreeing profusely. you couldn’t be too sure over the blaring music.

“what’s going on?”

for whatever reason, it was as if they forgot that you were present and jumped. you caught taeyong eyeing something behind you, but before you could look, sicheng cut in.

“listen, y/n. i think you need to take a deep breath,” he suggested and that only made your suspicion grow even more.

abruptly, taeyong swore. you furrowed your eyebrows at that and turned your head. even lucas and sooyoung stopped dancing. you couldn’t make it out at first, but when you did, it was as if you saw a ghost.

clad in an all black suit without a tie and unsurprisingly, red jordans, was jung jaehyun. his hair was a natural black for the first time in the amount of time that you knew him. he had one hand shoved into his pocket. he made your stomach do backflips and tumbles and light your chest on fire. oxygen left your throat and you blinked the dizziness away. 

“that isn’t. .  .”

you always wondered what it would be like if you ever encountered jaehyun again, whether it would be in five years down the line, maybe ten, maybe even more. would it be in korea? an accident? an event like this? you didn’t expect jaehyun to show up in all honesty, as doyoung remarked dismissively that he hadn’t heard from jaehyun since you had. you wanted to say that you forgot he existed, which you admittedly did at times. however, since the arrival of all of your old friends, the memories began coming back to you. 

now, it was jaehyun who came back to you.

you were too focused on him to notice the female linking arms with him. you noticed her before, she was one of doyoung’s wife’s bridesmaids. she was pretty, probably around your age, but you weren’t sure exactly who she was. 

before you could jump to conclusions, she broke free of jaehyun’s arm and started making a beeline in your direction. your heart nearly stopped at this point, what the hell was happening? meanwhile, jaehyun was too busy being tackled with hugs by lucas and doyoung, with sicheng following suit. the woman stopped in front of you and taeyong, though her entire focus was set on him.

“hi, jinah.” taeyong said simply at the woman and you attempted to search every nook and cranny of your memory for that name.

she smiled warmly and the two of them sparked a conversation amongst themselves.

confused, you decided to slowly back out, grab your drink, and maybe take a breather elsewhere. there were paths that you took notice of earlier, ones that led deeper into the gorgeous gardens, and you figured that now was a better time than any to tour the area, even if you were alone. there was just no way you could face jung jaehyun now.

then, the starting piano notes to a hauntingly familiar song began to play. your lips parted in shock and you wondered if you were hearing correctly, this song that you left in your past. closing your eyes, you took in the first few lyrics of the song and realized that this was reality.

the dancefloor around jaehyun began to part for couples to take the spotlight, as everyone began to pair up.  he nearly tripped over his own two feet, having not heard the song in years. 

“by the way, she’s by the bar. i know you’re looking for her,” johnny said casually, taking a sip of his beer. 

jaehyun didn’t want to admit out loud that he was ‘looking for you,’ but you were definitely something that had been on his mind. he sat in the back during the ceremony, laying low with johnny, but he remembered what had happened to him when he saw you for the first time in three years. it was like everything fell apart and he forgot how to function. despite being apart for so long, you still managed to have that effect on him.

however, he didn’t go to you. he let the song that played during all of your late night roadtrips play without asking you for a dance. it wasn’t right and it was no longer his place.

MAY 29TH, 2022. 10:42 PM KST.

everyone had been pushing you all night to go and just fucking talk to jaehyun. you felt like a high school student who didn’t have the guts to confess to their crush, it was idiotic. thankfully, you’d yet to physically run into each other, mostly due to the fact that you were rotating between hiding behind sicheng and taeyong. mostly sicheng, due to the fact that taeyong was busy catching up with his own ex lover. how could he have the guts, but you didn’t?

you escaped for the nth time that night, trailing into the parking lot. after hours on heels, you eventually gave up on them and removed the shoes, opting to walk around barefoot. to the outsider, you probably looked crazy, walking back and forth without shoes on and muttering things to yourself.

“hi, jaehyun. how are you—how have you been? been?”

the clock was ticking fast. you needed to find a way to build up the courage and stop hiding from him and at least attempt to have a civil conversation. you weren’t even sure what you were afraid of in the first place (yes, you did.) were you scared that he wouldn’t want to talk to you? forget who you were? 

no, you were afraid that you would get sucked into those big, brown eyes and those dimples again. you afraid that you were going to lose yourself in his velvety smooth voice and his wits. you were afraid that you would fall for him again.

“i’ve been fine, thank you.”

this time, you legitimately fell, not for jaehyun, but because of him. he was standing right behind you and not for a second did you suspect any footsteps coming your way. for that, you toppled over and your body folded into one in pure shock. luckily, he was there to catch you before you fully fell down and steadied your body.

jaehyun widened his eyes. “shit, are you okay?”

“mmph. just tipsy.” you couldn’t even feel embarrassed, too engrossed in the feeling of pain from scraping your knee. 

his arms still remained around you even after you were back on two feet. jaehyun’s eyes trailed over your body, noticing that there was a slight dirt stain on your dress after tripping. he realized what he was doing and that it probably looked like he was checking you out, so he let go immediately.

you raised an eyebrow. “why are you here?”

“this is my sister’s car that you’re pacing in front of—i was just going to grab my phone charger.” 

“i think i need a break from here.” despite the fact that you’d been practicing for an hour to talk to jaehyun, words fell out of your mouth without any second thought. it was all natural and you spoke to him like no time had passed since the last time you saw him all those years ago.

jaehyun paused, seemingly lost in his thoughts for a few moments. he looked back at the party, then back to you. you noted that he was debating about something in his head, without a doubt.

he suggested, “so, let’s go for a drive, then?” the statement caught you off guard, as you watched jaehyun unlocked the car doors. “like old times. it always made you feel better.”

there was no denying that. you weren’t sure what you expected for this reencounter with jaehyun. despite constantly imagining it, this wasn’t exactly the way you thought it was going to go. 

“have you been drinking?” you asked, not wanting to risk anything.

jaehyun smiled. “no. i drove jinah here and i’ll be taking her back.” 

you looked back the party yourself, wondering if it would cause any trouble if you left for an hour or so. probably not. you took a deep breath and decided to throw caution to the wind. there couldn’t have been anything wrong with going for a drive with jaehyun, you’d done so a million times during your whirlwind relationship. 

getting into the passenger seat, you glanced over and saw that jaehyun was beginning to charge his phone. he turned on the screen and appearing as if he was about to open up his spotify, you immediately snatched his phone away. for a second, you thought he might have been angered from the gesture, as it was one you did automatically like you used to, but he simply chuckled and failed to even protest. you turned on one of your own playlists.

“why didn’t you say that you were coming?”

“we haven’t spoken in a while, y/n,” responded jaehyun, as he looked down at his two feet. “and that’s mostly because of me. i wasn’t sure if you even wanted to hear anything from me.”

he began to reverse out of the parking spot, as meticulous as ever. the windows rolled down halfway on either sides and the street lamp light shone against his skin. it was a sight that you thought you’d never see again.

“i thought i never would,” you admitted, wondering why you were never the one to reach out first. “it’s stupid.”

“things get stupid,” jaehyun shrugged.

the two of you took your old route around the city. for an hour, the two of you caught up on what exactly had been going on in your lives for the past three years. you discovered that jaehyun lived alone, but had a cat named pepper. he has two good friends in america, both fellow law school students, but they’re going to be practicing in new york. he showed up to his graduation late, just like he did three years ago. he wasn’t the top of his class, but he was a decent suck up to his professors. he got a part time job at the local zoo. jaehyun hadn’t gotten into a serious relationship, only dated casually like you had. he started playing a bit of american football, but his true love was always going to be basketball. his dad was proud of who his son was, even after throwing away national victory.

the old ice cream spot that you used to go to late at night closed down sometime in the past three years. it was disappointing, but the two of you got greasy street food instead and it was just as good. you didn’t want to insult doyoung on his wedding day, but the food was pretty shitty and this was just what you needed.

“i just find it so weird that this is how everyone turned out after all this time,” jaehyun remarked, as the two of you returned to the venue. it had been quite some time since leaving, but the party was still in full swing.

you nodded. “you think everyone’s happy?”

“johnny? no, but he will be someday. lucas is definitely stressed as hell,” he chuckled a bit. “sicheng is. sooyoung is still finding herself. i think we’re all a little bit here, there, and in between and that’s okay. we have time.”

“are you happy in america?” you asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“i am, but i’ll be even happier in korea.”

“what?”

before he could answer, a swarm of individuals collided with the two of you. it was everyone, some greeting you, others questioning where the two of you have been, while others, namely lucas, nagged for you to join them at the bar or on the dancefloor. you’d just sobered up, so you opted to join johnny and sicheng on the dancefloor to the voices of old school girls generation and jaehyun was unwillingly whisked away to the bar by lucas.

MAY 30TH, 2022. 12:56 AM KST.

there were just a few more minutes until the music was to stop playing for the reception and all of the guests were to be sent home. you spent the last while mostly with sicheng and sooyoung, as you knew they were the first ones you’d have to say goodbye to when everything was over. however, there was one more person that you needed to see and that was jaehyun. thankfully, he made a magical reappearance just in time for the last dance.

the sappy love song was a special request made by a very single johnny, who drunk slow danced with lucas in the middle of the floor. you were sitting at your table, taking a break from your devil shoes and talking with sooyoung when jaehyun strode over. you bit your lip, having noticed him started to make his way from your peripheral vision and mentally tried to prepare yourself.

“sorry to interrupt,” jaehyun said, “but i’d really like a dance, y/n.”

“she’s all yours,” sooyoung answered before you could, a smirk pressed on her lips. 

you stifled a laugh a her and got onto your feet, slipping the heels on and grimacing at the feeling. jaehyun helped steady you for the second time that night and you thanked him quietly, as he led you onto the dance floor.

something in you wished that he asked you to dance with him earlier, but this song was just as warm and fuzzy. they were about, simply put, love and the purity of it. jaehyun slid his arms around your waist and you placed your hands on his shoulders like it was an instinct.

all of a sudden, he said, “i wish things ended up differently.”

“jaehyun. .  .”

“doesn’t it feel like nothing’s changed?” jaehyun asked, taking his finger and pulling your chin up, so that he could meet your eyes. “it’s been, what, three years? you can’t tell me that it doesn’t feel like it.”

you cocked an eyebrow at him. “what are you trying to say?”

the feeling of stares burning into the back of your head was overwhelming. you were certain that all of your friends were watching the two of you, but you didn’t even care.

“i know we said that it was life that made things go wrong with us, but we can’t just blame that. it was us, too, you know.”

jaehyun nodded, eyes closed. “things started to feel empty when we stopped putting in the effort. that didn’t mean that i didn’t love you.”

“did you, though? shouldn’t you have put in the effort to show it?” you countered. it wasn’t like you wanted to argue with him, but the emotions were starting to spill out when you hadn’t been able to talk about this with him or anyone for years. “and don’t get me wrong, i can say the same for myself.”

“we were immature and we were taking everything so fast. we told each other that we’d get married after four months of dating,” he pointed out and you couldn’t help but reminisce about it, the feeling of young and stupid love that you felt for each other.

you let out a long sigh, placing your head on his chest to hide your frustrated expression. it was happening, the one thing that you were afraid of. you couldn’t afford to get lost in jung jaehyun and his pretty dimples and smooth talk again. 

you said, “can we please not do this? it’s not going to end well.”

“why? because that’s the way life dealt our cards?” jaehyun retorted. “it’s not that deep, we were separated by distance, so what? that wasn’t the problem.”

“then, what was it?” you asked.

jaehyun ran a hand through his messy, dark hair. “alright. you know what my dad told me during nationals in my last year?”

“oh, the nationals that you willingly lost? yeah, i remember it vaguely, nothing too special.”

he playfully poked your side, causing you to squeal and also turn some heads around the two of you. “shut up. yes, that one. he told me that there are two ways to play the game of basketball. you could either play it as it is, as the game flows and how it’s expected to be played by logic and precedent. then, there’s the way where you take control and ignore all other circumstances in order to focus on your goal.”

“god, nobody other than you would compare our relationship to basketball,” you laughed and so did he.

“fine, i guess i should just skip to the part where i tell you i’m staying in korea to shut your sarcastic ass up.”

“wait, what?” you stopped in your swaying movements, completely frozen at the news. “you’re. . .what?”

jaehyun grinned and pushed some of your hair out of your eyes. “i'm going to be working here. i have an articling job lined up already and from there, i’m going to build my career here in seoul.”

“b-but, i thought you were going to stay in—”

“i thought a little bit of risk taking was needed in my life. it was nice and it would probably be easier to start off there, but i think it’s time i take control. i took too much time blaming our circumstances and not doing anything about it. if i stayed in america where i knew that i wouldn’t be as happy as i would be here, but stayed because it was easier, it would be just like the unhappiness i felt after we ended things,” jaehyun said.

you nodded. “i’m sorry. i was like that, too.”

jaehyun shook his head, a small smile still playing on his lips. “it’s all in the past.” he said, “and since i’m back here permanently, i figured a good way to start my new life here was to steal my ex girlfriend’s heart again.”

it turned out that you didn’t need to fall back in love with jaehyun because like the two of you said before, the love was always going to be there. love is sweeter the second time around, even when the fates don’t exactly line up perfectly for you. that’s when you capture your own destiny. jaehyun was with you and he was finally home.

jaehyun & y/n’s song: my thoughts on you by the band camino the last dance song: all my life by wild

tag list: @i-hate-these-people​ @glitterystanz​ @jkuwus​ @jenojae  @csillagosegnelkul​ @imtaehyungry​ @theloouiisee​ @ikonictaelien​ @knisterlicht​ @seungkwanismyaesthetic​ @jaemingold​ @xysabella​ @sua246​ @ireallyjustneedcoffee​ @p-platonica​ @just-a-dream-40​ @fuckthatfeeling​   @sehunights​ @xjinyoungiee

[srprincess]

Let’s pretend it’s still Fictober, yeah?

Still the spookdoo au (13 chapters and counting!)

Prompt 8 - “Can you stay?”

Nursey tapped his boot against the door jam in an attempt to knock, ”Permission to come aboard?”

Will called back from his spot, leaning forward against the rails with legs dangling over the edge of the deck. ”Aboard, huh? You can’t tell the difference between a boat and a lighthouse? That's pretty bad, even for a city boy.”

“You should be nicer to me. I come bearing cocoa and blankets.”

”If I send you away, do I still get to keep them?”

”Nope, package deal.”

”Damn.” With a put upon sigh, Will patted a spot on the deck next to him.”Might as well sit down then. I'm not guaranteeing good company though.”

“Figured that was a given,” Nursey teased as he took a seat, passing Will’s jacket over before pulling on his own.

“Ha-Fucking-Ha.” Will retorted as he made grabby hands for the blanket and thermos.

 Seeing a shiver out of Nursey, he decided to share and tucked the blanket around both their shoulders. It was big enough they only needed to sit a little bit closer. The extra body heat was a bonus. If there was a comfortable hit of nostalgia for nights past, that was no one’s business but his own. They quietly sat side by side for a while, passing the thermos back and forth, sharing the cocoa. Occasionally Nursey would break the silence, incorrectly pointing out a constellation with a ridiculous fake name. Each time Will would counter with an actual constellation of his own. Other than that it was companionable silence. The kind you don't normally get outside of a long time friendship. Will thought it was nice, almost enough to make him forget why he'd stormed up in the first place.

When Nursey’s stomach growled, Will pointed out. ”You should have brought some snacks too. There were cookies in the cupboard.”

”I wouldn't have gone digging without asking. Besides, he's not done baking yet but Bitty’s probably about two things deep into apology desserts by now.”

”He doesn't have to-”

Nursey cut him off, ”It’s what he does. After years of experience I've learned you can't fight it so you might as well appreciate the goods. That and keep restocking his supplies, but since he's using your kitchen I'd say you've covered that part already.” After a particularly strong shiver he added, ”You should keep extra blankets up here.”

Will pulled the blanket tighter around them, scooting closer to press their sides together. ”Probably so. I used to keep a whole bed up here.”

”Out here?” Nursey said in disbelief, “You did not.”

”Not outside, in the lantern room,” Will clarified. ”When I was little I would spend as much time as I could up here. Started back when my grandfather used to tell me all these exciting stories about sailors and pirates. I always snuck up here, because I didn't want to chance missing the Big Ships. Then I just kept doing it because I liked it up here. Like my own little place on top of the world. Dad finally got me a little fold-up cot and a bin for my pillow and some blankets. I'd sit out here on the deck until my Ma brought me up cocoa and told me to sleep. Then I'd go inside and tuck until morning. Kept it up until a growth spurt had me too tall to fit on the cot.”

”So you’ve always lived here?”

”Yep, since birth. Easy to keep a family house when the family is small.”

”So if this was the family house, how did you end up with this whole thing to yourself?” When no answer came, Nursey shook his head. ”Sorry, that was - you don't have to answer that.”

”Like Insaid, small family. I was the only child of an only child. We lost my grandparents a long time back. My parents,” Will took a steadying breath, ”They had an accident. On the shore road one night. Fall after I graduated.”

”So that's why-”

”I get uptight about safety on the road there? Yeah.” What he wasn't going to share was how, if it could have been avoided, he wouldn't even drive on it himself. No doubt it played into why he didn't venture much further than he had to those first few months after.

”That’s, man, I don't even know what to say. Damn. I'm sorry. I can't imagine losing my parents like that.”

”Is what it is.” Will shrugged, sadly. He wasn't any better at accepting the condolences than most people were at giving them. Intended that way or not, they always felt like pity, which he hated most of all. “Couldn't see myself leaving after that. As it was, even before the accident, I had already planned on taking a year off to decide what to do next. These days I pick up a few jobs here and there to keep busy, but this place has been in the family forever and insurance more than covers expenses, so why leave now?” Softly, Will asked, ”Can we not talk about it anymore right now? I think tonight has been enough of - that.”

”Sure, of course. Sorry. Didn't mean to bring you further down. Want to talk about what we saw earlier? That was wild.”

”Hmm, no. Not yet. Sort of the same. I want to go back in the morning, but we can talk about it later.”

”Alright, sounds good. Then you probably don't want to talk about why we're up here and not down in the house either?”

”Absolutely not.”

”Okay. I’ve got it. Best topic. There's always the wonder of how I managed to be both the most interesting and good-looking person you've had the pleasure of showing up on your beach in ages?” Nursey said with another one of his damned winks.

Will decided to knock him down a little. In fun, of course. ”Yeeeah, I don't know about that. There's always James. He’s always hanging somewhere nearby. Spent most mornings last week tied off on my buoy, in fact. Surprised you haven't tripped over him yet, he's around so often.”

”James? So, is he a boyfriend, or...” Nursey trailed off.

”Why, you interested? He is single, ” Will went on, deliberately misinterpreting the question, ”and definitely a great character. Real nice to chat with, he always has the best stories.”

”I wasn't asking because I was interested in him, I just - wondered.”

”Probably for the best I don't introduce you then. Wouldn't want you to lead the poor guy on, might take it hard when you let him down. His wife passed about 10 or 15 years back, I think. Been alone since.”

”That long ago? How old was she - wait, no - how old is he?”

”Hmm...Not sure exact. Figure Old Man Jim’s got to be at least, hmmm, 80-something himself.”

”And he's the most interesting and good looking visitor you've had recently?” Nursey sounded incredulous.

”Okay, so maybe I’m giving him extra points for the personality. They are really good stories! Back in the day, they came in real handy when I was about to get in trouble for something my dad had done himself.” Will laughed at the memory. He wasn't one to get into much mischief, but stubbornness and independence he’d always had more than enough of. It seemed that he’d come about it naturally if the stories were to be believed. ”Now, as far as looks. Well, I’m afraid his best days for those are a few decades behind him. Especially since the last of his hair seems to have fled down to his beard.”

”So it is me then,” Nursey bumped his shoulder with a smug smile. ”Interesting and with the looks. Total package.”

”Eh, it's a close tie.”

”Hey!”

”Or, I suppose, you could be slightly ahead,” Will bumped him back. ”Maybe you can rack up some extra personality points yourself and secure the lead. What kind of stories you got?”

”Ummm,” Nursey looked like a deer in the headlights, making Will laugh.  

”Shit. You can't put me on the spot. It's like I've forgotten every story I ever told!”

Will decided to take it easy on him, give him a nudge, ”I’ll help you out. You already know I was the weird lighthouse kid, up here every night. Ever do anything like that when you were little? I mean, not sleep in a lighthouse obviously. But camp or something?”

”Not really. City boy, remember? I never went away to camp and no one sleeping in a tent in NYC is there doing it by choice.” Nursey pointed out with a hint of a grimace.

”Oh, yeah. I guess not,” Will paused. He hadn't thought about it like that. ”What about vacations? You must have gone away at some point growing up. No trips to the country?”

”We did travel, a lot actually, but it was usually to other cities. Sometimes out of the country, never out to the country. You know what I mean? Restaurants, shows, lots of museums.” Nursey admitted, ”We aren't exactly nature people.”

”Cities are too full of people, you missed out.” Will countered.

”I'm beginning to think maybe so. Did fall asleep on the porch roof a few times in college though. That's close to camping, right?”

”You? You slept on a roof?” Will scoffed, ”I’m not even sure you should’ve been trusted on a ladder!”

”Hey! You don't know me nearly well enough to make that assumption!” Nursey shoved at him playfully. ”Besides, I climbed out a window. No ladders involved.”

”You think I don't know you well enough? We may have just met, but I'm pretty sure I've seen you fall more than enough times to assume that it’s a fairly common occurrence.”

”I caught you once too!”

“Once! And I was distracted, so it barely counts,” Will argued.

”Counting it!” Nursey clapped back.

 His phone started to vibrate on the deck again, and Nursey pushed it back further out of sight.

Since it wasn't the first time he heard it go off, Will figured he should ask, ”Do you need to get that?”

”Nah, I'm busy here. Defending my honor and all.”

”You sure?”

He checked the display, ”It's just Bitty, no SOS. It’s fine.”

”Probably wants to make sure I didn't push you over the side.”

”I'm sure he doesn't think anything of the kind.”

”I screamed at everyone and then stormed off. You followed me, alone. Now you aren't answering your phone. He thinks exactly that.”

”It was understandable. He even told me to apologize to you for the comment and the pushing -”

Will waved it off, ”I know how I get. I shouldn't have blown up, but it was just a lot all the sudden, ya’ know? I know its no excuse, and I'm sorry. Just, I'm not used to all the ’people time’ and then all of this and I feel like I'm letting everyone down, even myself, and-”

”First off you aren't letting any of us down. This is hands down our most eventful trip yet. By a mile.”

”Seriously. You've spent more time than anything sitting in my kitchen waiting to do things.”

”Waiting where it's warm, which is better than our usual.” Nursey pointed out. ”Plus you told us where to go, helped with the history.”

”And you've all fed me a couple times over.”

”What’s one more person when a group is this size? And you fed me too, fair’s fair.”

”I’ve yelled at you. More than once.”

Will briefly wondered why he was arguing against himself. Guilt was a weird thing, he supposed. Then Nursey apparently decided it was time to switch tactics, throwing him off.

”Hmmm, that's true. You are terrible. The worst.”

”I’m not saying I’m the worst!” Will, tried to backpedal.

”No, you were right. I mean, that's not even going back to the beginning, when you almost murdered me -”

”Oh. My. God.” Will leaned back enough to get a hand on his hip. ”I did not!”

”Nearly drowned to death in the prime of my life,” Nursey moaned, holding his hands dramatically over his heart.

Laughing, Will grabbed him by the shoulders and pretended to pull him towards the deck edge, ”I’ll show you near-death-”

At Nursey’s overdramatic yelp and cries for help, Will fell towards him laughing until he was a mess of hiccups, laughter, and tears.

”You're ridiculous!”

”And you're smiling.” Nursey pointed out, his eyes dropping to Will’s mouth. ”Worth it.”

 From behind where they laid, twisted in a heap of bodies and blankets, there was the sound of a throat being cleared and then Bitty’s voice called out, ”Not dead then?”

Will fell further backward, still laughing, ”Told you!”

”He’s being dramatic.”

”I’m dramatic? Big words from Mr. Almost Murdered,” Bitty said.

”How long have you been standing back there lurking?” Nursey asked, suspiciously.

”Not too long, but long enough.” Bitty shook his head, smiling, ”If you two are about finished, there’s a cobbler and some cookies in the kitchen whenever you want to come back down.”

”Two desserts! Now who called it!” Nursey crowed.

”What’s that saying about stopped clocks?” Will mocked right back.

”Some boys never grow up,” Bitty said, shaking his head before going back down into the main house.

”Overrated!” Nursey shouted after him.

Will pulled himself back upright and started detangling himself from the twisted up blanket nest. ”We probably should go back down.”

”If we want any of that cobbler, yeah.” Nursey jumped to his feet and offered Will a hand up.

 On their way down the stairs, Will stopped Nursey with a hand on his shoulder. ”You should stay.”

”What?” Nursey turned back to him.

”Tonight. Can you stay?” Will said again. Actually making it a question this time. And Nursey looked...shocked. Maybe not shocked, but at least surprised. Oh hell, now Will was questioning opening his mouth at all. ”Not like that,” he tried to quickly explain. “Guest room. I have one. Maybe you could stay tonight? I just thought, if we were going back to the cottage tomorrow, it would be easier and - never mind you don't have to.”

”No, I can. You just caught me off guard. Figured you'd be looking for us to clear out so you could have some quiet again.” Nursey smiled reassuring, ”I mean, I’d like to stay, if it's not too much trouble.”

”Course not, I offered.”

”Only, do you have anything I can borrow to clean up and change in to? I'm kind of a mess after the impromptu yard work and all.”

”Didn’t I already loan you an outfit,” Will poked him. ”You trying to take my whole wardrobe piece by piece?”

Nursey bit his lip, ”Ohhhh. Didn’t I give you back the other clothes?”

”Pretty sure not.”

”Well, I meant to?”

”Intentions don't keep a body warm, but I can probably scrape up a few more things for you. You already know where the shower is.”

”Then yeah, I can stay.”

”Good. Now we better hurry before they send someone else after us.”

”Truth.”

[this-lioness]

*Sigh*

I am going to tell you a little story about being a goddamned Karen.

I am a bit fucking bonkers about finances.  I watch everything like a hawk, in part because I grew up dirt poor and it gives me a sense of control, and in part because I know how quickly things can go south if you aren’t paying attention.

For that reason I noticed that our mortgage company had not yet taken out our mortgage for December.  It’s an automated payment, so all they have to do is withdraw it on the first of the month.  I’ll usually give a day’s grace if the first falls on a Sunday or a holiday. but it’s now December 3rd and clearly this should already be in process.

So I call the mortgage company and am put on hold for awhile.  In the mean time I sort through our account activity to see if I can figure out what’s going on (maybe the payment is “pending” in their system and just hasn’t gone through yet).

Instead, what I see is that a recent escrow payment I made has been reversed.

(For those who don’t have a mortgage, in addition to paying for your house every month you also pay a small amount into “escrow”, which eventually gets paid out to your home insurance company and to pay things like your property and school taxes.  Towards the end of every year your mortgage company will generally review these expenses and say, “Your homeowner’s insurance / school taxes are going up, you’re going to be short $X amount if you keep paying what you’ve been paying”, allowing you to adjust your monthly payment to make sure there’s enough money to cover those expenses.  The reverse is also true -- sometimes you end up with an overage -- but in this case we knew we were going to be $X short for 2020, and I decided to pay the shortage all at once instead of having them take it out every month.  This is all stuff you should learn, by the way.)

So basically the mortgage company cancelled out the escrow payment I’d made, but there was no explanation why. AND there was still no mortgage payment pending.

I get a very sweet, nice-sounding young lady on the phone who confirms all my info.  I ask her first about the missing mortgage payment.

Her answer, “Oh, it’s just because of the holiday. It will come out some time today or tomorrow, don’t worry.”

Okay.

I then ask her about the reversed escrow payment.  She looks, then says, “It’s not in my system when I look at your account.”

I’m like, “Well, it says it right here in mine.”

“Yeah, but I don’t see it, so I’m sure it’s nothing. You can ignore it, the money was applied to your escrow, it’s fine.”

Hm. I hate to be that lady, but: “Can I talk to your supervisor?”

Back on hold. Supervisor gets on the line.  I first ask her about the escrow issue, because this is the one that seems most strange to me.

She reviews it, and says that the bank account info they had when we made the extra payment was actually for our old bank (probably from the last time we had to make such a payment) and so since that account doesn’t exist anymore they couldn’t withdraw it -- hence the reversal.  I ask her if I can update the bank account info and resubmit it, and she says sure, no problem.

I then said, “Your last rep told me that my mortgage payment hadn’t come out yet because of the holiday. Is that actually the case?”

She looks and says, “No, it looks like we cancelled your automatic withdrawal because the bank info was wrong, even though the mortgage was actually drawing from the correct account.”

“So I need to make that payment manually and set up automatic withdrawal again.”

“Yes, sorry.”

That’s fine, no problem.  Takes me two minutes and all is well and I’m happily back on my way.  But I did point out to her that the first rep I spoke with blew off both of my questions because she didn’t actually know the answer to them, rather than ask someone for clarification.

If I had listened to her, not only would my mortgage gone into arrears (granted, typically mortgage companies are pretty understanding when their automated systems get fucked up, but not always -- looking at you Wells Fargo) AND I would have been short on my escrow account.

My point here is that sometimes “being a Karen” serves a purpose, and this is a lesson that I think young women need to learn:

Don’t let anyone cow you into not speaking up when you know something is wrong.  Don’t submit and go quietly on your way because you don’t want to be “one of those people.”  The world is full of customer service people who hate their jobs, are not being paid well, don’t want to seem like they’re inept, are just having a bad day, or generally don’t give a shit about you or what you want.

You can be nice about it.  But any social movement design to cleverly shame women of any age for daring to speak up for themselves can go die in a fucking fire.

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

Baby Daddy - Chapter 1

If you've read Well, This is Awkward, then you already know the premise. This is not that story! This is the longer and angstier version that I promised. Updates will not be every day though, because I need to learn how to prioritise! Also, this fic is a gift to @emmaseasall, who has had a hell of a year, and whose birthday it is today! Happy birthday, Emma!

You an also read it on AO3, and find the Chapter Index here on Tumblr. 

Back when Laura was a kid, her Uncle Peter was stupidly in love with this girl who was stupidly in love with this movie where this girl missed the train, and that one little action changed everything. Laura, nine-years-old and allergic to boy germs and anything gross like kissing, had not been impressed, either with the dumb movie or with the dumb girl. Luckily she only had to suffer through a few instances of Uncle Peter “baby-sitting” and making out with the girl on the couch before he dumped her for her twin brother. Because Peter has always been an asshole, apparently. Point is, Laura hated that movie, but there are moments in life, okay? There are moments that can change everything.

Laura likes to think of that, sometimes. She’ll sit on the fire escape of their shitty apartment, drinking coffee so black it tastes like tar, and smoking cigarettes because it annoys Derek, and she’ll wonder what might have happened if only one tiny thing had been different.

Is there a universe where Derek didn’t stumble into Kate Argent’s path?

Is there a universe where their family didn’t burn?

And is there even a universe where Laura met a crazed werewolf in the woods, and her shock at seeing it was Peter was so great that she didn’t step back quickly enough, and the last thing she felt was his claws slashing across her throat?

Maybe.

There’s a universe for everything, right? Accepting that makes it hard to hate what happened, because it could always be worse. Laura is the alpha now, and Derek is her beta, and Peter is—well, Peter is Peter, but he’s much less crazy now—and the universe is random, and chance is a fucking bitch, but Laura thinks she’s finally figuring out how to listen to it and take a goddamn hint.

And right now it feels like the universe is slapping her in the face with this…this kid.

The kid has been coming into the diner where Laura works for a few months now, always late at night, and always buzzing like he’s on something. They get a lot of that in this neighborhood, but the kid doesn’t smell of anything except Adderall, which Laura guesses explains his twitchiness. He’s about eighteen or nineteen, probably a student by the weird hours he keeps, and he always pays his bill in small change. He tips well, but usually in pennies and nickels, which is a pain in the ass, but better than no tip at all.

And he smells like something that—for the first time since coming back to Beacon Hills six months ago—feels like home.

He smells like the Preserve. He smells like long summers spent running barefoot in the woods. He smells like loam and pine needles and abelia blossoms. He smells like home the way it was—long days and golden twilights and wood cracking in a campfire.

Laura hasn’t been able to set foot on her family’s property since she came back. She and Derek share a shitty apartment on the shitty side of town. Laura can’t bring herself to go and stand where the house once did. She’s seen pictures online; the charred bones of the Hale house are a favorite for local photographers, and they popped right up on Google maps when Laura was looking to see where the Goodwill store had moved to. It hurt enough to see the ruins online; Laura doesn’t want to see them in person. Not yet. She’s not ready, and she doesn’t think she ever will be. She wants to remember it the way it was, and that’s hard enough already.

In the meantime, she serves the kid coffee as charcoal black as the burnt cedar frame of the house she was born in, and tries not to look too obvious when she leans in to inhale the kid’s scent.

It’s a Wednesday night, almost midnight, and the kid has been sitting on a plate of curly fries and a cup of coffee that Laura has refilled three times already in the hour he’s been there. He’s pale, with dark shadows under his eyes. He’s hunched over a textbook, highlighting relevant passages. When Laura refills his mug for the fourth time, she notices that most of the page is highlighted.

“You’re at the community college, right?” she asks him.

He blinks up at her. “Yeah. Accountancy.”

“That sounds inter—”

“I hate it,” the kid snaps. He scowls down at his textbook. “I fucking hate it so much.”

Laura blinks at the sudden venom in his tone.

“God,” the kid says, closing his textbook. He sighs, and rubs his hands over his face. “Sorry. It’s been a rough week, and I’m an asshole at the best of times. Sorry.”

Laura glances around the diner, but her only other customer is Harold, the town’s elderly drunk, and he’s asleep in a booth. She sits down opposite the kid. “Want to talk about it?”

The kid narrows his eyes at her. “Are you serious?”

Laura shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I just figured everyone in town already knew my deal,” the kid says. “I’m Stiles. Stiles Stilinski. My dad’s the sheriff.”

Laura looks at him blankly.

“Oh, you really are new in town, aren’t you?” Stiles snorts. “My dad got shot in the line of duty about eight months ago now, right before I graduated high school. He’s been on sick leave ever since. I was supposed to be on a full ride to GWU in D.C., but my dad’s sick pay barely covers the mortgage, let alone getting him any home help, and the way the insurance company is dragging things out, he won’t see any money from the county for years yet.” He closes his textbook, and sighs. “So my plans changed, you know?”

His voice is calmer now, but there’s something in his gaze that’s a little distant, as though he’s staring right past Laura, right past Beacon Hills, into a future that he never got the chance to live.

“Yeah,” Laura says. “I know. My name’s Laura.”

Stiles’s forehead creases. “Yeah. It says so on your name badge.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Laura Hale.”

There’s a flicker of recognition in his eyes, and then he pales. “Oh. Oh shit.”

“I know a few things about rough weeks,” Laura says.

She knows a few things about giving up her dreams as well. And she knows guilt, and loss, and pain and fear. She was scared, and she ran, and a part of Peter will never forgive her for that. It’s okay. A part of Laura won’t forgive herself either. But eighteen-year-old Laura was still a child in so many ways, too young to step into her mother’s shoes. Too young to know what to do, when she felt so afraid and so alone. When all her pack bonds had been severed by the fire, except the one tethering her to Derek. And even though Peter had still been alive, breathing on his wheezing hospital ventilator, she hadn’t felt him. She’d thought he’d gone too, the parts of him that were him, and there had been nothing left but the machine. She’d been so wrong about that.

Stiles throat clicks as he swallows.

Laura smiles slightly at him. “If you want to bitch about how unfair your life is, I’m not going to judge you for it. I’ve been there.”

Stiles exhales heavily. His fingers beat a nervous tattoo along the laminate tabletop. “Sometimes I resent my dad for getting shot. How fucked up is that?”

“Pretty fucked up,” Laura says quietly. “Sometimes I hate my family for dying. I mean, how could they? I wasn’t ready to be the one in charge.”

Stiles swallows again, and looks away quickly. He swipes at his eyes quickly with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Yeah. I get it.”

From over in the other booth, Harold snorts himself awake. “Wh—wha—”

Laura reaches out and puts her hand over his. She squeezes gently, and his scent softens again into that sweetness that is reminiscent of the Preserve. “I should go deal with him.”

“Yeah,” Stiles says. He flashes her a smile. “Thanks, Laura.”  

“Anytime, Stiles.” She stands, and goes to refill Harold’s coffee before he can complain. When she looks around again, Stiles has gone back to his textbook, his posture more relaxed now than before they spoke.  

***

Laura and Derek live in a loft on Lincoln Street. It’s semi-converted, which Laura thinks means the developer ran out of money before he finished turning the place from a shithole into something actually habitable. The loft is caught somewhere in the middle. It has running water and heat, but also holes in the walls. The rent is cheap though.

Derek picks up a job as a bouncer at some dive bar downtown. Peter calls it playing to his strengths; he gets to wear his leather jacket and get paid for glowering. The hours he keeps are as bad as Laura’s. They’ve both become more or less nocturnal, and Laura worries it’s like taking a step backwards. At least she has her regulars to talk to at the diner. Who does Derek talk to? Nobody, probably. He goes to work when it’s dark, and comes home when it’s dawn, and if he says more than two words to anyone during his shift, Laura would eat her hat.

If she owned a hat.

She worries about Derek. She worries about his silences, and his scowls, and sometimes she wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him and see if the brother she remembers falls out: funny as hell, and fun to be around. A little smartass, just like a younger brother should be. The thorn in her side, and the pebble in her shoe. She misses him, probably as acutely as he misses the old Laura.

She was different too, back then.

Laura and Derek don’t need the money their jobs bring them, not now they’re back in Beacon Hills and have access to the Hale vault again, but they’re both used to living like this. Sometimes Laura wonders if it means, in their hearts, they’re still running. Laura is still afraid, she supposes, but her alpha wolf is growing stronger. This is herterritory. Laura doesn’t want to run anymore. She wants to stand.

She wants to rebuild a home in her territory. She wants to rebuild a pack.

She lies awake at night, listening to Derek’s heartbeat through the wall, and decides that they’re home now.

They’re home.

She just needs to start believing it.

No, more than that.

She needs to start acting like it.

She has her territory back: she needs to build a pack.

***

The weeks draw on. Summer softens slowly toward fall, and Laura starts to look forward to those strange hours when Stiles wanders into the diner, and takes a seat in a booth with all his books spread out around him. He’s usually tired, anxious, and his scent smells a little bitter with it, but he always has a smile for her, and they fall into an easy familiarity. He reminds her of a little brother. She lost two of those in the fire. Three, if she counts Derek.

Most days she counts Derek.

Stiles bitches a lot about having no money, but not in a way like he’s angling for any. Why would he be? He has no way of knowing that Laura has any more than he does. He bitches to her like he expects her to be in the same shitty boat, and she was. For years she and Derek had been living from paycheck to paycheck—whenever either one of them could actually get a paycheck-- because that was just another thing Laura hadn’t known: how to access the money their parents left them. Wasn’t like she could just walk into a bank, tell them who she was, and expect them to hand over the cash. That was something Peter had sorted out for them when they were back in Beacon Hills, because Peter knows about lawyers and insurance and inheritance and all those things that Laura didn’t.

There was so much she didn’t know, and she was afraid that if she’d asked some stranger that hunters might have found where she and Derek were.

There was so much she didn’t know.

Stiles is the same. She watches him sometimes, as he painstakingly goes through letters from the hospital, from the insurance company, from banks and lawyers, trying to get a handle on exactly how much debt he’s drowning in. And it’s hard. She can see that written in his creased forehead.

He’s not much older than Laura was when her world fell apart too.

Laura feels a rush of sympathy for him.

“It’s hard,” she says, helping herself to one of his curly fries and dipping it in the pool of ketchup on his plate. “Do you have anyone you can ask for help?”

“No.” Stiles makes a face. “I mean, the Department did a fundraiser and that helped a lot, but all that money went straight to medical bills, you know?” He drags a hand over his face. “It’s hard, but it’s not like we aren’t managing. It’s just… things are tight, that’s all. We’re stuck in this shitty place where Dad’s not well enough to work, but doesn’t actually hit any of the right criteria to get benefits. And he’s busting his gut with his physical rehab, but you can’t rush that either. Just… ugh. Once he’s well enough to go back to work, things’ll get a hell of a lot easier. It’s just… it’s just gonna be rough for a while.”  

Laura knows that feeling.

The next night, Stiles tells her about his Jeep, and the five hundred dollars he’s been quoted to replace the starter motor.

“Guess I’m catching the bus to college now,” he says, inhaling the steam from his coffee.

So no, he’s not starving to death or living on the streets or anything, but every time she sees him Laura thinks he’s been a little more battered by his circumstances, a little more worn down. And he’s always so tired.

She wants to help him, but she knows he won’t take charity.

“You know,” she tells him, “you’re here every night. You might as well wash a few dishes.”

“Yeah?” His face brightens at that, and he flashes her a smile.

She likes Stiles. She likes his scent.

He reminds her of family.

She wants to rebuild her pack.

Really, when the idea hits her, Laura’s surprised it took as long as it did.  

[sinsiriuslyemo]

hello all! Here is the newest episode of Cuba v DR!! The ending is near! Also, I think we may have missed a giveaway, so we’ll hold it for this post! Each comment or reblog equals one entry! Thanks so much to everyone who continues to read this story!

EPISODE 42

You took a bite of your sandwich in your kitchen that afternoon as you looked at the clock. You could probably finish the laundry within the next two hours if you put your mind to it. As you finished the last of your soda, you set down your sandwich to grab the laundry basket from off the table just as your phone began to ring.

“Hello?” you asked, tucking the basket under one arm and moving to the washing machine.

“Hey tia,” you heard on the other end.

“Eddie! Que pasa?” You couldn’t help the huge grin that spread across your face at the sound of his voice.

“Not much. I start school next month. Just starting out with a couple classes. I’m gonna meet with my advisor, too and figure out how many credits I still need. Met with a therapist today, too and worked out a schedule for once a week sessions,” he answered. “How are you guys? How was tio’s birthday?”

“Small, you know how your tio is about parties. We just had a few people over for cake and presents. I’m so excited to hear you’re getting ready to go back to school. Your tio Rafi just had his baby. I’ll text you some pictures.”

“Yeah, I know. Tio called me after he was born and sent me a bunch of pictures of him. He’s so cute,” Eddie answered in a chuckle. “Have you gone to see him yet?”

“Yeah I went yesterday. Oh my god he smells just like a new baby. So good. He looks a ton like Roxie, don’t you think? I wish you could see him in person. We miss you, but I’m also thrilled to hear you’re settling in so nicely, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, he does look like Roxie,” he replied.

“How’s Greyson? Did he get the recipe I sent him for paella?” You started to load the washer with your free hand.

“Yeah, he got it. He’s good, really busy with his job,” Eddie answered. “How’s the center?”

“It’s thriving. We’re looking into expanding now. I’m honestly so excited,” you said with an eager smile.

“Oh that’s great!”

“It’ll help so many kids, you know? It’s what I dreamed about since I was younger. God it feels like an eternity ago since I got that center.” Your phone pinged with an incoming call from a number not saved in your phone. “Oh hey, I got another call. Can I text you later?”

“Yeah, sure,” Eddie replied. “Talk to you later, tia. Love you.”

“Love you too sweetie.” You ended the call, switching over to the other number. “Y/N Ramirez speaking.”

“Y/N, this is Diane from Guardians of Education. I’ve called with some good news! My bosses are interested in buying your center,” you heard on the other end.

“Buying? Oh no, I was looking for investors, not people to take over for me. I think there’s been a misunderstanding…”

“Oh I see,” Diane answered. “Um...well, I’m not so certain my bosses will be interested in investing, they were hoping to acquire, but I can certainly ask.”

“Please do. In acquiring, do I lose all my rights to the center?” You frowned at the thought. That place had been with you almost from the start.

“Yes, it would be a clean sale and our company would absorb yours,” she replied.

“I see. Please if you can, discuss the investment with them. If not, can I have some time to consider the offer?”

“Certainly,” she replied.

“Thank you, I really appreciate all of your time and consideration,” you said. “I will wait for your response on the matter.”

Once you’d ended the call you frowned to yourself. Sell the center? That place was your baby, your sanctuary. You couldn’t do that. Could you?

As soon as the laundry was dry, you moved upstairs, changing into a pretty dress and putting on a little makeup. It was just lunch but you enjoyed dressing up for Nevada lately.

You hurried to the restaurant the two of you decided to meet at, coming inside and sitting down at your usual table. You were looking over the menu when you felt a hand on your shoulder and you jolted as your eyes looked for the source.

“Hey,” Nevada said, sitting across from you. “I ordered for us already. You look nice.”

“Thanks,” you said and looked down at the menu. “Anything noteworthy happen today? Or is it too early for crime?” you teased.

“Just a regular day,” he replied, stretching his arms over either side of the booth. “You?”

“Guardians of Education called,” you said, frowning. “They want to buy the entire center instead of investing.”

“Shit,” he replied. “What are you gonna do?”

“Honestly, I don’t have a clue. This center is everything to me. It’s the best present I’ve ever gotten. But this is a chance to help kids and it could be so much bigger than just the Heights, you know?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “That’s true.”

You sighed, genuinely distraught. “I don’t know if I can give that place up. I still remember the day you gave it to me and how it made me feel. It was the first hope I’d had since prison. I had felt like I was lost without teaching, but you made me a place to keep my dream alive.” You smiled at the thought.

“Then keep it,” he replied, bobbing his shoulders.

“I don’t know, I hate making business decisions,” you said with a groan as the waiter brought your food.

“Then sell it “

You immediately grabbed your fork and took a bite, humming thoughtfully. “I’m just gonna think on it. There’s no need to make a rash decision, right?”

“Right,” he replied, picking up his sandwich and taking a bite. “How much are they offering?”

You thought for a moment. “Huh...I didn’t even think to ask.”

“You didn’t ask how much they’d give you for it?” he asked in a chuckle.

“They caught me off guard, I’m not good with business on a good day.” You scrunched up your nose in frustration. “I don’t even know what an appropriate price would be.”

“You should probably get it appraised so you go in knowing how much it’s worth,” he replied.

“Oh that’s a good idea!” You took another bite of your meal. “You are so good at this stuff. Thank god. I was gonna call Roxie to ask her advice but she just created a human life and I think that takes precedent. Although I feel like she’d love a distraction from the baby.”

“That bad, huh? He a cryer?”

“Not really, he seemed like an angel. I can’t figure out why she wouldn’t be all over that baby. She acted like he was a bomb or something.”

“Coño, pero you were only there for a couple of hours,” he replied. “And we both know how you get around babies. You’re a baby-hogger.”

“I didn’t hold him too much,” you said with a shrug. “I tried to hold him longe but he didn’t like the perfume I was wearing. So I’m gonna hold him next time the entire day,” you teased.

“Wow,” Nevada chuckled, popping the last piece of his sandwich into his mouth. “I can’t wait to see him, little Rafael.” He snickered, taking a sip of his water.

“He’s so cute, but also made me realize I never want more kids,” you said with a laugh. “You’re right, we have more than enough and even changing one diaper made me realize how much I don’t wanna raise another person.”

“Good, cause I’m all tapped out,” he answered.

You chuckled and sipped your drink. “I’m already not sure what’s gonna happen when we have three teenagers in the house at once.”

“We can ship their asses off to boarding school,” he teased.

“Sounds good to me,” you said, grinning at your husband. “Oh and Izzy texted me to say thank you again for visit her. I think it made her day.”

“She texted me too, that girl’s a little crazy,” he replied. “She needs to catch a break, you know?”

“Even I think her life is a little depressing. It seems like trouble just follows her. Between the first gallery shooting and the second one blowing up I am in awe that she still wants to create work. Is Jasper upset? I know he had work in there too.”

“No, he had the place insured, paintings too and he’s got a guy in the precinct down there. He got his investment back,” he answered.

“Lucky Jasper. At least things worked out for him. I was worried a little. Izzy should have insured her work. Although do they do that if she’s not rich?”

“Well, her paintings were in the building, which was insured. So he’ll probably cut her a check for the estimated losses as soon as he works out a break down with his suit,” Nevada answered. “She’ll get a cut.”

“Well at least that’s something, she’ll be able to afford more paints and supplies.” You sighed. “I wish I knew how to help her more. She actually seems to either be in full denial or total acceptance.”

“You can’t fix it,” he said. “Just be there for her.”

“I know, it just sucks. When I was a little girl and I had a problem, I felt like Rafi could fix anything. Even when I was older. I want to be there for my little sister.”

“You can be there for her, you just can’t fix everything. Sometimes people don’t want something fixed, they just wanna know that everybody else has their back,” he said.

“You’re right,” you said with a smirk. “As always.”

“I know.”

Leonard got off of the elevator in building 811 on 183rd and Amsterdam, Detective Fernandez trailing not far behind him. As they approached the door, the stockier man exchanged a glance with his detective before he brought one thick paw up and knocked twice.

“Julio Dominguez, this is NYPD! Open up!” he called out in his baritone of a growl.

There was the click of a lock before a man opened the door, rubbing a hand over his face. “NYPD? I didn’t do anything.”

“You own a 1998 black Chevy van, where is it?” Leonard asked, ignoring Julio’s statement.

“It was stolen, coño, where were you people when the fuckers took it, huh?”

“You never reported it, so how could we know it was stolen?” Detective Fernandez replied.

“You’re all always around when we don’t want you. Figured you’d be here to stop an actual crime,” he mumbled. “I haven’t seen my van in a while.”

“We’re cops, not fortune tellers, Dominguez,” Leonard said as he took out his phone and nudged his detective before he began to walk back to the elevator. “It’s Williams from the three-three. I need a BOLO to all boroughs on a 98 Chevy, black, license Alfa-one-Sierra-four-zero-four.”

Roxie was up early that morning making coffee and breakfast for everyone. She was excited to take a look at her new bakery location options. Jacob was supposed to arrive at her place any moment now. Rafael was holding Liam’s bottle with one hand while he ate with the other while Helena tried to get Roxie to sit down.

“I have it, Roxanne. Go on and sit, eat with your family,” Helena said, finally prying the spatula from her daughter’s hand.

“You know I enjoy cooking for my family, mum,” Roxie argued half-heartedly as she moved to sit beside her husband, handing him his coffee. “Good morning, my love,” she said with a smile.

“Morning, babe,” Rafael replied, setting down his fork to burp Liam as he looked up at his wife. “You sleep any better last night?”

“Not really,” she said softly and shrugged. “Did you?” She reached over, gingerly touching her son’s head for a few moments.

“About as much as he did,” Rafael answered, glancing at Liam as he patted the infant’s back. He smirked softly before turning towards Roxie. “You want him?”

“I would but I’m leaving in a minute. Besides, you two look so cute,” she said with a laugh.

At that moment Liam burped, a thin stream of milk rolling down his chin and onto Rafael’s shoulder.

“Adorable,” Rafael groaned in a chuckle. “You won’t be gone long, right? Liam loves spending time with his mommy.”

“Shouldn’t be more than a few hours. We only have four locations.” She let her thumb stroke over the baby’s head. “You understand, right Liam?”

The baby boy scrunched his face in discomfort just before a high-pitched toot sounded from his bottom. His face relaxed again, eyes shifting to his mother’s voice.

“I’ll bet that little trumpet has an encore coming up,” Rafael mused, kissing the back of his son’s head.

She opened her mouth to speak just as a knock at the door pulled her attention away. “That must be Jacob, he wanted to see the baby for a moment before we went,” she said, moving to the door and smiling when she opened it.

“Congratulations are in order,” Jacob said, holding out an envelope for her. “This is for your newest edition to the family.”

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do anything,” Roxie said as she let him in. “He’s over here with Rafi.”

Looking over Liam’s head, Rafael smiled politely at their visitor. “Morning Jacob.”

“Good morning, Rafael. Fatherhood treating you kindly?”

“So far so good,” Rafael answered.

Jacob moved over to look at the baby and smirked. “Damn, I owe some people at Lavender in London some money. He looks just like you, Roxie.”

“Thank God for that,” Rafael teased as he gently rubbed Liam’s back.

“I think that just means he’ll have my love’s witty personality,” Roxie said with a grin. “Oh mum, I’d like for you to meet Jacob, my business partner.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Jacob. Roxanne has spoken highly of you,” Helena said, coming into the dining room from the kitchen to shake Jacob’s hand.

“I see where Roxie got her beauty from,” he said with a smile, shaking her hand before turning to Roxie. “Shall we? The real estate agent said he’d meet us there.”

“Yes, I will see you all in a bit. Wish us luck.” She moved to kiss Rafael and Liam before following Jacob to the door.

“Say bye to mommy,” Rafael said to Liam who began to cry.

“Oh, I know a sweet boy who could use a change and some time with nanna,” Helena said as she gently took Liam from Rafael.

“He’s beautiful, Roxie,” Jacob said as they stepped into the hallway. “You know, I meant what I said, I can handle this alone if you’d prefer to stay with your family.”

“No, no, a third location is important,” she said with a frown. “I swear, you choose to step away from your newborn for a few hours and you’re the worst mum on the planet. I’m not leaving him alone with a lit stove, he’s with my mum and his dad.”

“I wasn’t insinuating anything, I was merely offering. I honestly think you coming with me looks more poorly on my part than on yours. I would be remiss if I hadn’t at least offered,” he replied.

“I’m sorry, the hormones are making me a little off kilter,” she admitted, offering him a smile. “I haven’t been feeling much like myself.”

“That’s to be expected I imagine. Child birth can take a lot out of a person and it takes time to get used to being a new parent. My children are eight and twelve, I’m still not used to it.”

Roxie snorted a laugh. “I like your kids,” she said as the two got into a cab to head over to their first location. “Was their mother ever...uneasy with them as newborns?”

“Not sure. We had a nanny for the most part,” he answered. “She did once begin to cry hysterically in the middle of the night when our youngest was collicy, but as soon as we realized the problem it was remedied in no time at all.”

“Oh,” she said softly. She had begun to feel like these feelings were just hers. Her mother described something similar, but not exactly the same. “I like your kids,” she repeated as she got out of the cab when it stopped at their destination.

“You’ll fall into a routine before you know it. Being a mother will become second nature,” he said with a smile.

“So I’ve been told,” she said with an empty laugh. As they moved over to the real estate agent, they made their way inside the first location. Roxie looked it over, inspecting it, asking detailed and long-winded questions as she looked over the building permits. In the end she spent two and a half hours at that single location.

“Roxanne, not to be a bother but we do have three more locations to get to,” Jacob reminded with a concerned look.

She looked up from the permits and nodded. He was right, plus she had only supposed to have been gone a few hours. She felt a sense of dread to going back to those four walls. She loved her home but she was getting stir crazy in the house. “How early did you and your wife take your baby out? Just for walks or something.”

“Han was about two weeks old when we took him out to a family occasion, but only a few days when we took him out just for a walk,” he answered.

“I think I need to be out of the house for a little while,” she said softly. “You know? I’m tired of seeing the same thing everyday with no change.”

“I’m shocked you even have the time to notice. Our nanny was constantly up for diaper changes and feedings. Babies can be quite demanding,” Jacob replied.

“He is very demanding, but Rafael seems to love all of the nurturing, so I let him take over when he wants. He’s so excited to have a son,” she said with a smile.

“Well, I’m glad. It’s good he isn’t one of those fathers that leaves that child rearing to the mother,” Jacob replied.

“No, he’s a huge help,” she said with a smile as they got back into a cab to head to the next location. By the last location, Roxie was worn down. “I think I like the third,” she said as she yawned, looking at her phone.

She’d been gone six hours and she still had to meet with Josie. She sighed. At least she’d make it home by dinner.

“The third place was the best design-wise, though it is the most expensive,” Jacob replied with a nod. “But I agree, it’s the best location for another store. Go on, get home to your family. I can handle the negotiations.”

“Alright, check in with me later?” she asked with a smile.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Of course.”

She moved to the cab, hoping in and firing off a text to Josie asking where to meet. It wasn’t long before her phone pinged with an answer from Josie, offering to meet at Roxie’s apartment.

Roxie gave the cab driver her address and headed home to her husband and baby. The second she was through the door she could hear Liam crying.

“I’m home!” she called out.

“Dinner will be ready soon!” she heard her mother call back as Rafael came out of the nursery with Liam.

“Hey, he needs to eat and I gave him the last of what you pumped earlier,” her husband said. “Can you take him?”

“Yes of course,” she said, taking the baby and sitting down to feed him. “How was he today?”

“Fine, we had a great day. Read a few stories, played on the sensory mat. He really loves the orange ball on that thing, and he got to meet Mowgli. I got a lot of pictures, you’ll love them.”

She smiled. “I’d love to see them tonight.” She looked down at Liam while he ate. “You must have had a busy day Liam. Would you like to take a walk outside tomorrow?”

“That sounds great, I bet he’d love that. Might be good to get him some fresh air, too,” Rafael replied.

“You’re coming right? I don’t want to take him out by myself.”

“You’re nuts if you think I’m gonna miss his first walk through New York City,” Rafael answered with a smirk just before there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it.”

Roxie grinned the second she saw Josie’s face. “You’re here!” She looked down at Liam to see he was still feeding.

“Am I?” Josie replied as she came inside. “Are any of us really here?”

“Hi Josie,” Rafael said in a chuckle.

Once Liam was finished, Roxie pulled up her top and put him against her chest and started to burp him. “I’m so excited to see you. How are you?”

“Oh, you know, same ole. Looking for a roommate since apparently, I cannot afford to live alone as I thought I could. I forgot how expensive it was to be single.”

“Oh really? Izzy is looking for a roommate. She gets lonely now that her nephew and his boyfriend moved out,” Roxie offered as Liam finally burped. “Done eating then? Do you miss your daddy?” She smiled up at Rafael. “Want to hold him?” She waited until Rafael took the baby.

“No, you haven’t seen him all day. Take your time,” Rafael answered with furrowed brows.

“No shit, I’ll have to get in touch with her and see if she’s into the idea of us being roomies,” Josie answered.

“Definitely give her a call,” Roxie said with a smile. “You want to hold him? As long as you sanitize your hands first.”

“Sure! Wait…” Josie looked at Rafael hesitantly before shifting her eyes back to Roxie. “Is he going to explode?”

“Of course not, don’t be silly.” Roxie watched Josie run hand sanitizer over her hands and arms. She stood and gently placed the baby in her friend’s arms. His little eyes stared up at Josie’s face.

“Well, hey there little fella,” Josie said with a grin. “Damn, you’re cute. You live around here?”

“He’s really cute right? A lot of hair too. Which is weird, I didn’t have heartburn,” Roxie said with a chuckle.

“Heartburn? Is that a thing?” Josie asked.

“Oh yeah, tons of mums get heartburn when their baby has a lot of hair,” Roxie informed.

“Josie, darling, are you staying for dinner?” Helena asked as she came into the dining room with a serving bowl of food.

“Oh please stay,” Roxie pleaded.

“Sure, I could eat,” Josie replied, handing Liam back to Roxie. “I have to pee first though.”

Roxie looked down at the baby, watching him watch her. “Hi again, Liam.”

She couldn't be certain, but could’ve sworn that she saw the corner of his little lips curl upward as he gazed up at her.

“Oh stop it,” she said with a smile. “You can’t possibly be that cute.”

You moved to the table up on the roof, setting plates down as you hummed along to the radio you’d turned on to entertain you while you prepared for dinner. Sunday’s were both your favorite and least favorite time. You loved family but the preparation was always a lot.

“I think the sweet potatoes are done,” Amber said as she opened the door. “Want me to take them out?” She’d come earlier than usual so the two of you could hang out beforehand. Now that people were arriving, the two of you were focused on getting things ready. Melissa and OJ had already arrived, along with your mother and Gladys, only leaving Omar and Izzy left to arrive.

“Yes!” you called back to her before walking over to your husband. “How’s the pig?”

“Probably just a few minutes,” he answered.

“Barbie!”

“What?” You turned your head smacking your husband in the face with your ponytail.

“The fuck?” he groaned, rubbing the slight sting out of his nose.

“Sorry babe.”

“What did you want me to do with the green beans? Bring them out already?” Amber asked.

“The fuck are you guys doing green beans for? What is this Thanksgiving?” OJ mused.

“Yes, but keep the lid on them so they don’t get too cold. Ask Melissa what else needs to be done!” you called back, ignoring OJ’s question. You sighed once Amber closed the door. “Honestly I wish she’d just set the table and not insist on helping with the cooking. She’s always been awful with food.” You moved to set the last plate down.

“No shit, I’m shocked Omar is still alive,” OJ replied in a chuckle, earning a laugh from Nevada.

“Oye, the pig is ready whenever you women are done making Thanksgiving dinner,” Nevada said, nudging your ribs.

You wagged a scolding finger at both men, unable to stop a grin. “There is nothing wrong with green beans.”

“Yeah, sure, if you’re trying to whitewash Latin cuisine,” Omar chortled as he came onto the roof. “By the way your mom’s looking for you and Amber is putting salt on the beans.”

“Oh sweet Jesus,” you groaned and smacked Omar’s arm. “Why wouldn’t you stop her?!” You rushed downstairs.

“Cause it’s more fun to watch you freak out,” he replied with a grin.

“Amber, you don’t salt green beans. That’s what the butter is for.” You took the salt from her hand.

“Really? Okay, where would you like me?” Amber asked. “I’m here to help.”

“Perfect, can you go get the kids washed up for dinner? We’re just waiting on my sister,” you said.

“Your sister’s right here!” Amber called out after you.

“Then tell her to help out!” you called back, grabbing the green beans and moving back up to the roof and dropping the plate off quickly before moving back down to the kitchen as Melissa and your mother started to carry the food up to the roof.

“Oye, we need to have that conversation before we eat,” your mother said as she followed you into the kitchen.

“Now isn’t a good time, mami.” Your brows furrowed as you stepped to the side. “Que pasa?”

“Como que now isn’t a good time, pero are you expecting the president of the United States to come to dinner?”

“Que pasa, mami?” you repeated.

“I had a talk with your brother last week and he told me something that I want to talk to you about,” she said.

“Okay… what would you like to talk about?”

“What happened with him y la tipa esa,” she replied, gesturing with her eyes in the direction of the stairs that led to the roof, where Amber had just gone.

“Amber? Mami, it happened years ago. It doesn’t matter now.” You shook your head and sighed. “If you want to know, you should ask Rafael or her. Not me.”

“Si, he told me everything,” she replied, arching a brow. “Let me ask you something, Y/N...did you even care about how your brother felt about you being best friends with the woman--ah no, espera, women--that broke his heart?”

“Women? What are you talking about?” You furrowed your brows. “Emmy? It’s not like we’re close.”

“I don’t understand why Lily calls her tia then or why she still sends birthday presents,” Lucia challenged. “You never corrected her? Lily? When she calls Emny tia, you’ve never explained to her that she’s not her tia?”

“She grew up knowing Emmy. It was habit to call her tia and I didn’t correct her because I didn’t think it was much of a problem.”

“She’s not done growing up, como que she grew up knowing Emmy? She knew Emmy for two years of her life, she’s eight, pero que te pasa, chica?” your mom answered, placing her hands on her hips. “Eso es una boberia. But what I want to talk about is why you betrayed your brother after la dama esa did what she did to him.” She used a thumb to gesture towards the stairs again.

You purses your lips. “Do you think I loved that my best friend and brother dated? No. It was always going to get complicated. They were going to break up because Raf is picky and Amber can be terrible most if not all of the time. Did I picture she’d leave without warning? No. I had no idea and frankly I didn’t want her back in my life. But over time I forgave her. I figured if I kept her away from Rafael it wouldn’t be a problem. I was obviously wrong. Of course I feel guilty for what happened and how I handled it. I know I was a bad sister for it. But what’s done is done and I want to move on. Rafael moved on. So did Amber. It’s done.”

“Ah si? It’s done? Bueno, I’m so glad that you’re fine with being a bad sister,” your mother replied as Omar and Nevada stumbled into the kitchen.

“Oh shit, sorry,” Nevada mumbled.

Lucia ignored the interruption, eyes still on you. “Déjame decirte algo, Y/N. Ese es tu hermano, not some guy off the street, me entiendes? He deserves your loyalty over anyone else. Pero since you’re okay, I guess everything is fine, right? Who cares about how anybody else feels as long as Y/N is okay!”

“Should we go back upstairs?” Omar asked.

“No, you’re fine to stay,” you said sarcastically, crossing your arms. “Enjoy the show. At least you’ll see where I get my dramatics from,” you mumbled. You knew you were wrong in this case but you were not about to admit that to your mother.

“Dramatics. Was it dramatic when Rafael called to tell you que esa mujer told him she loved him and then left? Was it dramatic when she disconnected her phone, too? Oh no, esparte, it was dramatic when she called you a year later to tell you that she was sorry for what she did to you and you forgave her just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “Right? I taught you better than that, Y/N!”

“We’re gonna go upstairs,” Nevada said, pulling Omar out of the kitchen.

“How could you forgive someone for doing such a thing to your own brother?!” your mother shouted. “Esa tipa is not your family! Rafael is, he deserved your loyalty more than someone who would do that and then just show up one day and act as though everything is fine. How can you sleep at night?! How could you look at your brother in the eye and say you love him when you were so quick to stab him in the back?!”

“Amber and Rafael never should have happened,” you said simply. You wanted to talk about this with your brother. Work it out with him. Not your mother. The fact that she was involved did nothing but infuriate you and you had never fought well when you were mad. You needed to talk to Rafael, not her.

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT, Y/N!!!”

You heard footsteps coming down the stairs. “Oye,” Nevada poked his head from around the door. “Everybody can hear you guys, por favor.”

“NO. THE POINT IS THAT THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND MY BROTHER. END OF DISCUSSION.”

Lucia widened her eyes. “COMO?!”

“Oh shit,” Nevada mumbled.

“DON’T THINK YOU’RE TOO OLD PARA UN CHANCLETASO! ME ENTIENDES? FALTA RESPETO!” your mother shouted.

“For real, you probably shouldn’t have said,” Nevada said.

“Oye! Dale paraya, carajo!” Lucia snapped, swatting the back of Nevada’s head. He wasted no time in dodging back up the stairs and away from the situation.

“I’m done with this. You can argue all you want but I’m done,” you said, moving past your mother.

“Si, okay. The world according to Y/N,” Lucia replied, following you up to the roof. “As long as Y/N is happy, everybody else can go to hell.” She didn’t stop walking, even when you did, until she shoving the door to the roof open and walking to the table to sit.

“Not everyone, but some people can go to hell,” you mumbled in frustration to yourself. You took a deep breath before moving out to the table and sitting down as well.

“Everything okay?” Amber asked you in a quiet voice.

“You do not wanna get involved,” you mumbled to her. “Trust me on this.”

“Okay,” Amber mouthed with wide eyes, turning back to Izzy. “So anyway, like I was saying, just think of this as a hiccup. You’ll get back on your feet in no time.”

“I know, it’s just so freakin frustrating. I had a real chance with Jasper. He’s a big time art name and all of it went up in flames. Literally.” She sighed and poured her glass of wine to the brim.

“He’s loaded, he’ll be fine,” Amber replied with a shrug.

“He knows it wasn’t your fault, Iz,” Nevada said, taking a swig from his beer.

“He’d be crazy to work with me again. Clearly after two incidents I have some kind of curse,” she groaned. “Maybe my dad was right and art is never gonna make me money.”

“Dad sucked,” you said with a smirk. “Nothing that ever came out of his mouth was right.”

“I guess,” Izzy replied with a shrug.

“Mami, why was abuela yelling at you?” Lily asked.

“Oye, don’t worry about it,” Nevada said.

“But why was she mad?” Lily asked again.

“Lily, it’s grown up stuff, okay? I promise you, it’s okay. Abuela and I are just having a disagreement,” you said as you stroked your daughter’s hair.

“It’s always grown up stuff,” Lily groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t be a smart ass,” Nevada said, arching a brow at his daughter.

The dinner was awkward and felt longer than usual, you barely listened to what anyone was saying. By the end of it you told everyone to leave the dishes and you’d handle it. You loved cleaning dishes when you were upset. It had always been very therapeutic.

The second the last person had gone, you went right to it, rolling up your sleeves and starting to scrub your frustrations out on the plates while Nevada put the kids to bed. By the time you were halfway through the dishes, footsteps sounded from behind you and Nevada came in, sitting at the kitchen table.

“What the hell happened with you and your mom? She didn’t say a word during dinner,” he said.

“She wants to drag up things from the past, attack me in my own home? I am not dealing with her bullshit. I will talk with my brother on my own. God she is so infuriating!” You slammed another dish down and turned to Nevada. “She is so stubborn!”

“She’s your mom, not some chick. What happened?” he asked again. “I’ve never seen her that pissed before.”

“She’s mad I’m friends with Amber after what she did to Rafael. And she decided to confront me in my own house. She has some nerve. I’m not doing Sunday dinner next week. Not just so she can come in here with her attitude and judge me. No thank you. Count me out.”

Nevada furrowed his brows. He decided he wouldn’t acknowledge your threat to cancel Sunday dinner and instead try to decipher what had actually happened. “What’d Amber do to Rafael?”

“Amber and Rafael were a couple.”

“Yeah, that much I already knew,” he replied.

“Then Amber left Rafael without a reason or a single word of goodbye. It was a horrible thing to do, I don’t disagree. But you know what would have stopped all that? If my dumbass best friend and my dumbass brother hadn’t dated in the first place. It happened too many years ago for me to think about. I made mistakes. Forgave too easy and I hurt my brother. But that’s none of her business!” you shouted.

“Actually, what would’ve stopped it is if Amber hadn’t been so damn cold. That’s fucked up. No wonder he was so pissed when she first showed up here,” he replied. “So wait, your mom’s pissed at you cause Amber’s a bitch?”

“She’s pissed I stayed friends with Amber. Stop calling her a bitch.”

“She is a bitch,” he replied with a bob of his shoulders. “Pero, you didn’t know about her leaving like that, right?”

“Yes I knew. Please don’t turn this into a lecture. I really can’t handle it right now. I don’t want to hear how I’m a bad sister. I know that.”

He let out a breath that puffed out his cheeks. “I’m not gonna give you lecture…” He pressed his lips together and averted his eyes, clearly trying to keep himself from saying something.

You groaned. “Okay fine, lemme have it. Let’s get it over with.”

He opened his mouth, shaking his head as his brows jumped to his forehead. “I’m not saying anything...but if somebody did that shit to my brother, they’d be cut off, no question. That’s it.”

You sighed, taking your gloves off and taking a deep breath. “Can we not talk about it?” you pleaded. “Can I just have some support emotionally for a second? I will talk to my brother. But right now I could really fucking use a hug. I am just about done with this shitty Sunday.”

He scratched the back of his head and stood, going up to hug you and pat your back.

You rested your face in the crook of his neck and let out a sigh. “I’m sorry we ruined dinner,” you mumbled against his skin.

“It didn’t ruin dinner,” he replied. “You should probably talk to Rafael...has he ever mentioned anything?”

“I’m going to talk to him. I promise. I don’t think we’ve ever talked in detail or anything but I apologized!” You thought for a moment, quickly realizing that you couldn’t remember exactly when you’d apologized. “I...I must have apologized. Didn’t I?” You pressed your face tighter against Nevada and frowned when you realized that you never had apologized. “Oh my god, I’ve never apologized.”

“Shit, that’s cold as fuck,” he mumbled. “Coño and I’ve heard you tell him to get over what happened, too. A bunch of times.”

“Fuck, I fucked up so bad. What do I do? Oh my god, how does he not hate me?” You looked up to your husband. “How do I bring it up after I’ve said so many horrible things?”

“He doesn’t hate you cause at the end of the day, you’re his little sister,” Nevada answered. “I don’t know how you’re supposed to bring it up, pero...you can’t just let him keep thinking that you don’t give two shits. Cause I know you care about him.”

“I know. Shit. Okay I’m gonna talk to him soon. We need to talk.” You let go of Nevada and sighed. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied. “It’s gonna be even more fucking awkward for me to see Amber now, pero...I’ll figure it out.”

“You two don’t like each other anyway,” you said with a quirk of your brow. “Doesn’t seem like much changed.”

“No, except now I know I was right about her all along,” he mumbled with a shrug.

“She’s still my best friend. You don’t have to like her, but please don’t trash talk her in front of me.”

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Figures.”

“I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask. You don’t see me criticizing the people you hang out with. And trust me, I have plenty of ammunition if I wanted to.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?” he asked, turning to face you with a smirk.

“Do you want me to start with the criminals or the strippers or what? Because I can go at random. If I judged people, I probably wouldn’t have married a crime lord, don’t you think? Amber made some really terrible mistakes. So have I. I shot a woman in the face once. Two if you count Trinity.”

“You didn’t answer the question,” he said, smirk growing.

“How about your sociopathic brother to start? Jasper, who I enjoy but has more ties to the dark world than Satan himself. Remember when you hung out with Natalia? That was super fun. What about the gun running motorcycle gang?”

Again he snorted. “That’s all shit everybody knows, at least they’re not sneaky mother fuckers. And none of them ever tried to come between family.” He started to turn around, but then added. “Oh and I never hung out with Natalia. We did business together, that’s not the same thing.”

“Yeah I remember, you did real good business,” you grumbled.

“What the fuck does that mean?” he asked around a grin.

You batted your eyelashes and did your best Natalia impression. “We make a good team, don’t you think Trujillo? You give me very good...how do you Americans say...tactical support.”

“Wow,” he replied in a chuckle. “I’m sorry, is that supposed to make me feel bad? I was never friends with that puta. I never invited her to Sunday dinners or defended her when she fucked up. You lost this one, mami. Least Natalia never played the ‘I’m so innocent, nothing is ever my fault’ card. I can’t say the same for Blanca. Coño, she even tried to get between me and you a couple times, pero what, she gets a pass for that? Carajo, what is she the only fucking female in New York?”

“She’s my best friend for reasons I don’t think most people will get. And that’s just how it is. She’s my best friend. I did not lose. Your friends suck way worse. And Natalia couldn’t play the innocent card because she was too busy trying to take what is mine.”

“My friends suck? And you invite them to Sunday dinner? Treat them like family? Coño, you’re colder than Blanca, you two deserve each other,” he replied.

“Not family friends. Of course I love the ones who come to dinner. I love having this much family. You know that.” you said as you rolled your eyes.

“What friends are you talking about then? Cause the only people I consider real friends are the ones who come here,” he replied.

“Never mind, I’m so tired of today,” you said with a laugh, running your fingers through your hair.

“Oh, okay, yeah, sorry about that your highness. Go ahead get some rest,” Nevada replied in a chuckle as he turned and walked towards the stairs. “You know what your problem is, babe? You give out that friendship title like it’s fucking candy. Shit, I’ve heard you call Emmy and even Roxie your best friend and we both know that’s not true. I don’t know why you think it’s cute to tell people they’re your best friend when everyone of them knows that you’d sell them out in a split second for Blanca. Shit, you’ve even sold me out for her. I’m not trying to be a dick, I’m just telling you the truth.”

You frowned and looked at your husband. “Did I really sell you out for her?” you asked softly.

“Couple times, yeah,” he answered, bobbing his shoulders.

“I’m really sorry, you’re my husband. I should have had your back.” You hadn’t even thought about it before. You chose Amber over everyone and you couldn’t keep doing that. You two weren’t in college anymore. “It’ll never happen again. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place.”

He nodded his head. “It’s okay. She’s good at making other people look like assholes and being the hero in a situation. You just haven’t seen it,” he said softly. “I’m not trying to talk shit, I’m just telling you what I’ve seen, from an outsider’s point of view. And I only tell you cause I love you, I don’t think you deserve to be manipulated, that’s it.”

You moved to him, kissing his cheek. “Thank you,” you whispered. “I may not like everything you say but you’ve always had my best interests. I forget that sometimes.”

“Course I do, I’ll always tell you like it is. You know me, I don’t sugarcoat shit,” he answered, gently squeezing your hip.

You smiled at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Lets go to bed.”

“Go ahead, I’ll put the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher and be right up,” he said, kissing you briefly and moving to the sink.

[221bshrlocked]

I've got hella feels about Sebastian's new haircut and it's all your fault

i couldn’t find the backseat car request so i’ll write it here. NSFW gif under cut.

“I just don’t get it. How can he control whales if they’re mammals? The writers should have thought about this before they wrote his storyline.” He motioned with his hand violently before turning and looking at you, yelling a ‘what’ when he saw the expression you held.

“Are you fucking kidding me Seb? He’s called Aquaman notfishman. He can control them cause he’s a telepath. And besides, he can probably communicate through sonar or something. You need to get your superheroes figured out.”

“Hey I’ll have you know I got them figured out.” He sassed back, smiling when he saw you were just messing with him.

“No you just got one of the universes figured out. And before you say anything, knowing everything about just the one character in DC doesn’t make you an expert. He’s a villain anyway so j-” You were cut off when a loud noise rang through the car, Sebastian swerving a bit before he slowed down and pulled to the side.

“Hey are you okay?” He asked you instantly, checking your face before breathing out slowly once you nodded. Sebastian walked out and checked the tire, kicking it before getting back into the car.

“Flat tire?”

“Yeah…sorry darling.” Getting his phone out, he called the insurance company, telling them where you guys had to pull over and checking how long they’ll take to get to you. “The closest guy is half an hour away.”

“That’s fine. At least we’re not in the middle of nowhere.” You scrolled through your phone, occasionally chuckling at some cat video you saw on instagram. Looking over at him, you smiled when you saw that familiar expression.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Sebastian turned his head to the side, hands creeping their ways to your thighs before bunching up your short dress in his fist.

“Like you want to fuck me.” You knew you were a goner the second his fingers trailed up your thighs. All he had to do was lean forward for you to grab his neck and smash your lips together. He groaned into the kiss, hands going for your hips and squeezing them hard before he tried to readjust you closer to him.

“Ahh shit we- Seb there isn’t enough room.” You tried to pull away but he brought you back to him, kissing your neck slowly before pulling up your dress and gripping your ass.

“F-fuck this is getting in the way.” You tapped the gear shift and waited until he pushed away before you sat back and fixed your hair. You squealed when he jumped out of the car and walked around to your side, opening the door and motioning for you to walk out as well.

No sooner than the two of you were in the backseat did he pull you on top of him.

“Ahhh shit Seb wait-” You tried to sit back but he held onto you.

“Whaaaat?” He huffed out before staring at you like a puppy that was just kicked out of the house

“I- this won’t be comfortable…for you.” You didn’t want to look at him, not knowing how to voice your issues.

“Uhmmm why? You see me complaining?”

“Seb come on I’m…there isn’t enough room. And I’m too heavy f-” He growled before lowering your face down towards him, giving you a silence answer before bunching up your dress again and moving to unbuckle his belt.

You melted into the kiss, nails scratching his newly buzzed haircut and shivering when he whimpered at the actions. It all seemed to slow down as soon as you felt his cock rubbing against your panties.

“Christ baby come on…guide me in.” He breathed heavily, moving your panties to the side before grabbing both of your ass cheeks and spreading them apart. You both sighed when you sank onto him, neither moving for a few seconds just to feel the connection.

“Shit sweetheart you’re always so good to me…so hot…come on Y/N…” Sebastian kissed your neck, leaving love bites everywhere when he felt you clenching harder and harder around him. You threw your head back, rocking back and forth and relishing every single contact of his skin on your own.

You didn’t know how long the two of you were tangled together, every cell craving for Sebastian to touch you. He pulled you down again, his mouth kissing your cheeks before whispering filthy things in your ears. You felt him kneading your back before his hands roamed your body.

“Ahhh ohh f-fuck baby I’m close- don’t fall behind Y/N! Cum with me…please- let me feel you squeezing my cock love please…” He was breathing harshly, the sounds escaping his lips driving you crazy and as soon as he flicked your clit a few times, you came around him with a cry, grabbing onto his shoulders and riding him through your high before he pulled out and came on your dress.

You stayed like that for a few minutes, the two of you laughing before quickly scrambling away when you saw the lights of the roadside help behind you.

Sebastian fixed himself before throwing you his handkerchief and walking out.

“Hey man sorry I’m late. I came as fast as I can.” The guy handed Sebastian some papers to sign, looking past him when he saw you also walking out of the backseat. He tried to hold back the smile but couldn’t, pretending he didn’t see what happened before looking at Sebastian again.

“Hah no worries…that makes one of us.”

[queennicoleinboots]

Chapter 10 of Completely Out of Sync: Too Many Frustrations of the New Millennium – Not Found in Statham, GA (Joebear POV)

“GET INSIDE!” Blondie Black screamed from inside the house.

Ruby Black, Baby Black, and I ran toward the house as fast as we could to get out of the waterfall that descended from the sky. We could barely see in front of us as the rain water hit the hot ground below us. Gotta love this insane humidity. Mist choked the air.

Baby Black farted again as she ran ahead of me.

“Thank you for farting,” I said as I waved my paw in front of my face to avoid smelling it. “Again.”

Ruby Black started coughing behind me. She and I started laughing before we became trapped in the fart cloud. We were truly soaked before we finally entered the house. The wooden floor was becoming soaked. Baby Black, Ruby Black, and I shook the water out of our fur.

I guess I was stuck there until it was safe to call AAA to jump the battery in that piece of shit Nissan Versa. The worst part was AAA always took forever, and they are going to have a hell of a time finding me on this property. If it weren’t storming like mass hell outside, AAA would have a possible chance of finding me. But, I would rather be safe with these four dogs than to try to escape Statham, GA in this kind of weather. This kind of weather has literally blanketed this area all day, but it was horrible now. I swear that Hurricane Fuck Off was outside banging at the windows of this cottage. There was no way I was going to get my fur muddy by being out in that shit. There was no way Baby and Ruby Black were going to stay out in that weather. There was no way that BearBear and Blondie Black were even going to be able to stay on the ground if they went out there. Those two would be blown away by the wind. So, we were stuck in the cottage being battered by a hellstorm.

I took this moment to call my wife. I missed her.

“BAAAAAEEEEWHUHHHHHHHH!!!!!” she sang to greet me.  

“BaeBae!” I shouted out of excitement.

The dogs barked and howled to greet Xara.

“Oh hello, Blondie!” she shouted. “How are you doing?”

Blondie Black got on my phone and started blurting shit out. “Xara! Oh my God the craziest shit has been happening here! Goofy-looking dumbasses with typical lab coats were here at the house. One of them even looked like a clown posed as a doctor. How the fuck did this guy get this job? It seems that the Veterans Administration would hire anyone who can wipe his ass and not leave a skidmark in his underwear.”

We all fucking burst out laughing. Blondie Black definitely didn’t pull any punches. Ruby Black was rolling on the floor and literally laughing.

“Yeah, that’s typical of the Veterans Administration. Is your family okay?” she asked.

“Uhhhh yeah… about that. They were abducted-” Blondie Black started to say before BearBear Black cut her off by tackling her.

“ARRESTED! THEY WERE ARRESTED BY THE POLICE COMING STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDERGROUND!” BearBear Black shouted at my wife.

“WE GOT IT BAD BECAUSE WE’RE BROWN!” Ruby Black shouted.

Xara couldn’t help but crack up. “Arrested? For what?!” she asked.

“They were arrested for nudity,” I explained to her.

“Really? On their own property?” she asked with a bit of a laugh.

“Yes, it seems she had been indecently exposing herself again... on her own property,” I explained to her as I was actually confused by the logic. “The police really have gone overboard. It’s unreal. There is no privacy anywhere. You don’t own your own property. The banks still charge property taxes every year. The cops run wild on 'your' property. It’s all bullshit. I’ll be honest. I don’t even fully understand what’s going on.”

“Yeah, that’s ridiculous. Are they in prison?! And what happened to Lorraine Black’s phones?!” she asked as she sounded like she was getting irate.

“The Veterans Administration pulled rank and had the phones shut off,” I answered plainly. Baby Black barked in the background to affirm my statement.

“UGH! Fuck the VA! They strip every veteran of his rights!” she shouted.

“There are female veterans out there, ya know!” Blondie Black boldly corrected her.

‘Who the fuck cares?’ I thought.

“Okay. They strip every veteran of his or HER rights,” Xara said. “And don’t get me started on how shitty the healthcare system in the United, or should I say Divided States of America is. For the military nonetheless? Geez. No wonder I deal with sick dumbasses all day. These people don’t give a fuck about Veterans.”

Blondie Black howled to affirm her statement. “Yes, and they have clown doctors! Come on! This bullshit is medieval. I wish we would just evolve already. It’s 2020, and this is the best medical care available in the United States: clown doctors, pills that make us sicker instead of better, and bullshit vitamins that barely cover our essential nutritional needs. I don’t buy that. These people WANT US TO BE SICK AND DUMB!” she shouted with a series of barks.

BearBear Black, Ruby Black, and Baby Black barked like hell in agreement. I agreed with them, too, so I did what any bear would do if he strongly agreed with something: growl like King Bear. I growled so loudly that the cottage shook. I even started laughing hysterically as the cottage shook. I couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t handle this world no more.

“Holy Shit!” BearBear Black said as her fur stood on edge as she stared at me with bewildered dark blue eyes.

Xara laughed maniacally. “Not to mention that most doctors are foreign because Americans apparently don’t know shit about the medical field at all. Think about it. When you go to college, most people that major in medicine are fucking foreign. Especially Indian, Spanish, or Asian. In fact, the Indian, Spanish, and I daresay the Chinese language has infiltrated its way into the vernacular here in America. English WAS supposed to be the official language in this country, but nope. Americans are too big of pussies to stick up for their own bullshit language, so they allow every Tom, Dick, and Harry to morph our language into something that not even Einstein can figure out! I wish the United States was united, but it's really not. The states all seem to be doing their own thing when it comes to handling COVID-19. We as a people are politically and religiously divided. The States of America just seem to have a smorgasbord of people who have nothing in common other than the fact that they live in North America. Some aren't even citizens. So yeah, we are more divided," she shouted over the phone. Uh oh. My wife was going on another rant again.

“The doctors don’t give a damn about your health. It’s all about the money,” I said flatly. “The Rothschilds and the Rockafellers have monopolized the insurance companies, and the insurance companies govern the way healthcare is done in this country. It’s an absolute fucking joke!”

The Black dogs all barked and howled in agreement to what I was saying. BearBear Black even farted as she jumped up and down and barked. That dog was pissed off and nothing to fuck with.

“It really is. It’s crazy. Even with home health care, you can work as hard as you can for four fucking years, but if you have a bad month, the coordinators don’t give a fuck. It’s all about money. It’s all about numbers. They don’t give a damn about the employees or the customers. Their mission statement is a fucking lie. By the way, one of their mission points is face-to-face conversations with everyone, but with COVID-19, that’s completely out the window. In other news, thank God I have my own cleaning company. Home health care agencies are absolute total bullshit at this point. And who the fuck wants anyone in their home anyway right now?” she ranted in a shaky voice. She was so pissed that she was starting to malfunction.

“Well, I wasn’t trying to upset you, baby,” I said to try to calm her down. I didn’t like seeing her upset.

The Black dogs were just going to town with the barking and howling. Baby Black got pissed and kicked a table leg. I was getting a headache from all of the noises.

This was one of those moments where I wished I had a juicy steak to share with these dogs. They were probably hungry. I got up to find them something to eat while Xara was just bitching about the status quo, Peter Wallace Parker (who can be a real fucking asshole sometimes), and how she had no coffee. She was hungry, too. She forgot her lunch AGAIN. I wanted to beat her ass for that, but this was not the time to tell her that. There were five angry bitches in my presence, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive.

“I’m fucking hungry!” Baby Black screamed.

“I’m fucking hungry, too. Come to think of it!” Blondie Black said as she was moving in and out of my legs.

“Stop! Lay down!” I screamed at Blondie Black. I was looking for dog food and finally found it in the last kitchen cabinet to the right. The balls of my feet were killing me. Probably from stress.

To tell you the truth, I was hungry, too, but not as hungry as these dogs. BearBear and Blondie Black were literally diving into the bag of food the minute I pulled it out of the cabinet.

“Goddammit! I’m trying to feed you!” I shouted as I scooped out the dog food with my bear hands and threw it at the bitches.

Baby and Ruby Black were eating like crazy. Meanwhile, my wife was still yammering on about something.

“Oh! I forgot my lunch goddammit!” Xara said loudly as she slapped herself on the forehead.

‘Are you serious?’ I thought. ‘Wow, my wife is braindead sometimes!’

“Order a pizza tonight,” I said. “I have no idea when the fuck I’m getting out of here. This storm actually has me locked in here with four hungry female dogs. And I’m hungry!”

“THERE’S HONEY IN THE CABINET SOMEWHERE!” Blondie Black yelled in between her munching in the bag.

“Thank you, Blondie,” I said as I ransacked the cabinets to find the honey. Once I did, I bit into the honey bottle and started eating the honey. Fuck table manners. Only pretentious people use those!

“You are strong, Joebear Campinelli!” Ruby Black said as she laughed a little bit.

Good Lord, this dog was horny. I took a deep breath and tried to resist the power of Ruby Black.

Meanwhile, I heard Peter Wallace Parker scream a blood-curdling scream on the other side of my wife’s phone. I cringed and asked, “Is everything okay, my love?”

“No, baby. Peter is having yet another meltdown. I need to tend to him,” she said.

“Okay, baby. Be careful,” I said. “Love you.”

“LOVE YOU, BOO!!!!” she shouted.

I hung up the phone and decided it was time to give Ruby Black the rub of her life. She was a dog, and dogs deserve to be petted. In fact, I planned to pet ALL of these bitches before the night was out.

“Okay, all done!” Blondie Black exclaimed as she rushed under me and started pawing at my knees.

I lifted Blondie Black and started petting her and kissing her cheeks. She was such a baby. She was whining and making grunts as I was scratching her back.

Ruby Black then came over and started pawing at my knees.

I put Blondie Black down and then kneeled down to pet both of those dogs. They both lied on their backs as I played with them and pet them.

BearBear and Baby Black were still eating while Blondie and Ruby Black were getting tons of affection from my bear paws.

There was a knock at the door. All four dogs rushed to the door and started barking their heads off.

I blinked and thought to myself, ‘What the fresh hell is going on here?’

“Fuck off!” BearBear Black shouted through the door.

“I could if I would, but I have been ordered to be here,” the man at the door said. “I need to speak to the head of household.”

“He’s not here,” Blondie Black said.

“Understood. Who is next in command?” the man at the door asked.

“I am!” BearBear Black shouted. “State your business!”

“Oh bullshit, BearBear! I am next in command,” Baby Black said as she pushed the door open to reveal herself. Her light blue eyes pierced through the clown in the white coat at the door. Her ears were pinned down as she was ready to fuck this guy up.

The other three dogs were baring their teeth at him as they almost pounced on that poor son of a bitch.

“What the fresh hell is going on here?” the clown man asked as he blinked.

Baby Black pounced on him and knocked him on his back against the wooden porch.

“Holy shit. I might faint!” the clown said as he stared fearfully into Baby Black’s blue eyes of death.

“We have the same question for you,” BearBear Black said as she scurried toward his face and started barking.

“I WAS SENT HERE TO DO A CENSUS FOR THE VETERANS ADMINISTRATION! PLEASE DON’T HURT ME!” the clown screamed as tears were going down his eyes.

“Fuck you,” BearBear Black shouted as she barked at him.

“The Veterans Administration is the same reason that I am the head of household AS A DOG!” Baby Black said in a low voice as she growled at him. Her teeth were sharp, and she was nothing to fuck with.

“Yes. What the fresh hell is going on here?” Blondie Black asked as she scurried over to the clown’s face. “How do you not know what’s going on?”

“Honestly, no one tells me anything. I have to come to the houses and confirm everything,” the clown said as he started crying.

“There, there,” Blondie Black said as she nuzzled up against him. “I can imagine that your job is very stressful.”

“It is… it is…,” the clown said as he literally started bawling. “All I wanted to do was provide city data for veterans who want to retire. They worked hard when they were in service. The least we could do is give them data to figure out the best place to live after going through the horrors of war…”

“Well, this place isn’t it,” BearBear Black said as she barked. “This place is a fucking hell hole. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY TECHNOLOGY ON?!”

I waved my cell phone stupidly at BearBear Black. “You want me to turn this off, correct?” I asked.

“YEAHHHHHHHHHH,” BearBear Black said. “Why the fuck would you have that thing on anyway when the Veterans Administration is here?!”

“Excuse me, Princess,” I said as I turned my cell phone off. “I was in the middle of eating this ice cream.”

“WHO IS THAT MAN?!” the clown asked.

“None of your business!” Ruby Black shouted as she circled around his head. “He does not live here! He is visiting! IS VISITING NOW ILLEGAL BECAUSE OF COVID-19?! DO EVEN DOGS AND BEARS HAVE TO WEAR MASKS NOW?!”

The other three dogs barked in his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to gather data. Are there any humans here?” he asked.

BearBear Black shook her ass and just stared at him like he was a retard. “What kind of a retarded question is that?”

“A retarded question that all Veterans Administration census workers unfortunately have to ask. May I access a pen please? Are those allowed in this non-technological house?” the clown asked as he rolled his eyes. I could tell he was over these four dogs getting in his space.

Baby Black got off of him and sat down in front of him.

The clown sat up and reached his pen and pad.

“TURN OFF YOUR GODDAMN CELLPHONE OR WHATEVER TECHNOLOGICAL DEVICE YOU HAVE!” BearBear Black screamed at him as she was in his face and barking at him.

“All right. All right. Damn you’re insistent, dog woman,” the clown said as he turned his many technological devices off to appease this fucked-up dog.

“Thank you. Now you can start writing,” BearBear Black said.

Baby Black barked a strong bark as she still stared him down with her icy blue eyes.

“Is all of that barking really necessary?” the clown asked as he was writing down some answers to questions that he unfortunately already knew.

“Is that a question on your census?” BearBear Black asked.

“Son of a bitch, I actually have to look,” the clown said as he flipped through this book of questions to find it. A few minutes later, he actually found the damn question. “Actually, yes. It’s on the side questionnaire that’s in Section C for if the poor son of a bitch veteran has a dog.”

“Let me clarify that Diamond Black, Tim Black’s mother, was actually not a bitch at all. She was the sweetest and most intelligent woman of all time,” Blondie Black corrected. “Is that question still on your census?”

The clown scrolled down a couple pages before he looked at Blondie Black straight in the face and said, “Yes. It would have been horrible if you had mistaken Tim Black's mother for his father, ya know. We would have had to go through this process all over again.”

“Thar would have been a real bitch. In that case, we will be more than happy to answer your question. It is always necessary for a dog to bark. It is a form of communication, a way of life, a way of being. Without a bark, who is a dog?” Blondie Black stated.

“That’s beautiful. I wish I had room to put that,” the clown said.

“Do you have a ‘notes’ section?” Blondie Black asked.

“Jesus Christ this is going to take forever,” Ruby Black said as she laid down and sighed.

BearBear Black sat near the clown and looked at the answers he was writing on the questionnaire.

“I do,” the clown said as he went to the very last page and wrote down Blondie Black’s quote about barking. “What is your name, great dog?”

“Blondie Black!” she answered as she puffed out her small blonde chest in pride.

“You are appropriately named,” the clown said as he quoted Blondie Black. “Now to get back to the task at hand, I have to ask this retarded question again, and I expect a retarded answer. Do any humans live at this residence?”

BearBear Black growled at him. “No,” she said.

He wrote down the answer with wide eyes. “Are the people of the house deceased?”

“HOW THE FUCK SHOULD WE KNOW?! YOU WOULD KNOW MORE THAN WE WOULD?!” BearBear Black shouted at him.

Coyotes howled into the evening.

“Do the coyotes live here?” the clown asked.

“Yes, but they literally just moved in. We know nothing about them,” Baby Black answered.

The clown looked frantically through the questionnaire for about five minutes.

Ruby Black sighed and looked into the yard where her dog pen used to be. It was in shambles all over the yard. The storm fucked it up.

“Well, as long as anyone doesn’t live inside the house, I don’t have to question them. Thank God. I wasn’t in the mood to be eaten by coyotes,” the clown said.

“Neither are we. Can we get on with it!?” Baby Black asked.

“Yes ma’am,” the clown said. He then started asking a bunch of questions. The dogs answered them as honestly as they thought they could without the flood gates of hell opening upon their life.

I was literally eating the bag of chips after eating all of the chips before they finally finished answering the questions three hours later. It was dark outside. My wife was worried about me, I’m sure.

The clown then thanked the dogs and disappeared into the night. Apparently, everyone disappears in Statham, GA.

“You can turn your technology back on,” BearBear Black said as she approached me. She walked like a wind-up toy from the 80s.

“Thank you,” I said to BearBear Black as I turned my cell phone on. As soon as the screen loaded, I called my wife again.

[cimorenegal]

The anxiety-fest of awfulness

So as I told you guys, the rent got raised because my older BIL unexpectedly-ish moved out to go to Nevada.  We’re BARELY getting by as it is (my partner and I, I mean), so it’s going to hurt, and we’re still like swimming slowly through quicksand trying to get out of this fucking credit card debt from when my fucking aunt caused me to unexpectedly have to move cross-country, so.. it sucks.

ANYWAY, I know that it’s probably a “necessary” raise but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it so I wasn’t shy about casually mentioning the other day that the reason that the bin of stuff for the LGBTQ+ center is still here at the house is that I don’t have the funds to buy the things I need to put in it to make it “complete” for next year’s event before I store it at the center (my MIL was asking when I was going to move it because she’s cleaning to try to cope with her dissatisfaction with other parts of her life)

WHICH LED TO THE WHOLE ANXIETY FEST

My FIL works at a health insurance company.  He’s in the department that works with healthcare providers and not customers, so he doesn’t have to like, die of awfulness of telling poor people that their claims for cancer treatment have been denied, but it’s basically phone work all day.  IT’s what he’s done for years and he hates it but it makes good money and they’re hiring.  He’s been bugging my partner to apply there for a while now, but my partner, despite making less, “likes” his current phone tech support job because he gets to watch netflix between calls and is a lot more free than this place is.  I don’t blame him.

Anyway when my partner rebuffed him, FIL turned it on me and suggested that I apply and long story short .. I’m going to.. but that has turned into this cascading series of worry after worry from “Shit how much is all my medical shit going to cost once I have insurance that costs money?” to “omg how do I even apply to a job anymore?”

Normally I would just say “fuck it” but I’ll get a slight advantage as a referral, plus it’s decent pay, and I figure I can always quit right away if the health plan doesn’t look good enough.  ADDITIONALLY since it’s a phone job it’s a sit-down job which means it’s actually one I could conceivably do?  Which is another huuuuuge thing.  Because I’m not sure I could handle a job I have to stand up at a bunch.  I’m not even sure I can handle working 40 hrs a week at a sit-down job at this point (mentally) but I feel like I should at least give it a try in the interest of having another income since we ARE struggling and if I CAN hold a job down it would be a huuuuge help

But again.. like... Just... kind of an onslaught of stressors all at once.  Good thing I have therapy tomorrow, I guess?  

And if anyone’s gonna be, like, free tomorrow and wants to chat on facebook or here or text me or whatever like I am soooo down because I feel like I’m going to be SOOOO fucking lost and stressed about this shit that I could so use the support.