#should i update these tags…. we are still friends idk XD

[macabrecravings]

Sorry for the people who follow me for fandom stuff, the only thing I want to draw anymore is my partner’s OCs (shoved with mine & whatever…)

CW // Bloodplay, Suggestive idk idkkk

Click below 4 full image ^_^

@1am-yan

[chaoticspacefam]

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!�� - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

[dannydouni]

I got tagged by @faceless-dude for smth. And like. All I want to say is that you so much. Cuz I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for months and I didn’t know when would be a good time to post it. Or like update it or like just when I should do anything with it. So yeah. Thank you so much for helping me get the chance to post this :)))

“I’ve had this in my drafts for some time now probably since the Canadian thanksgiving and like only touched on it a few times, and well I never got to post it cuz I got well uuuhhh... shy I guess and at that time a lot of things were going down and stuff. And because of that I just felt like it had no meaning whatsoever anymore. So I thought I’d edit it a bit so it fits better and so I can finally post it and stuff.... sometimes it’s nice to get something out there after having it written down for so long. And well what better time to post it than now XD on New Years!. Anyways here it goes”

Hey guys, friends especially, ITS A NEW YEAR!!!!!! I just wanted to pop in and say that...well...thank you. And while I don’t really mean this directly to anyone so far (details for ppl that I know on this app will be written later on in this post). I know it’s usually super cheesy and just cringe and stuff but I honestly couldn’t care less about that stuff when it comes to the people close to me and to the people I love and care about. So I would like to take this opportunity to thank y’all. First and foremost. What the actual fuck guys. Why lmao. Out of everyone in this world you bunch picked the weirdest, ugliest and just straight up stupidest dude out there to be friends with XD, y’all do know there was much better than this out there right XD. I legit have no competition since I’m just so bad LOL. But still, for some reason, with all the shit I just listed y’all still decided it was a good idea to be friends with me. Y’all still decided it would be a great idea to stick with me up until now. Y’all still decided that I could belong with other people that I could fit it with you guys. That I could.... have genuine, real and just straight up amazing friends. I have absolutely no fucking clue how this turn of events happened. But I can say this with full certainty. You guys have changed my life. You guys are probably the main reason I’m still kicking around to this day lol. You guys are the reason I keep going and keep living and just keep enjoying the tiny gifts that life has to offer sometimes instead of pain XD. I still don’t and probably will never understand why or how god or life decided to be nice to me the few times I met one of you but I’m honestly so eternally grateful that I just... I have no words almost.... I just don’t know what to say sometimes. It’s honestly so out of this world how amazing and nice some of you are even tho I’m like the complete trash of this world XD. In all honesty.... without you guys I’d probably not even be here lmao... I’d probably would’ve just went on with my life with nothing to wish or hope for other than for the next day to pass even quicker than the last.... or just for days to just over as soon as they start... I won’t say more cuz that’s shit is personal and I’m not about to write that in public 😎. But like I know for sure that without you guys. I would not be here right now. So thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for all the memories you’ve given me, the countless nights you’ve made me die of laughter, The countless times you’ve made me choke and almost die from how funny something would be, the countless times you’ve made me think “damn I don’t ever want to wake up from this dream if this is not real”. Just thank you, for talking to me, for letting me vent, for letting me be there for you when you were there for me, for being my rock to lean on, for helping me go through the toughest of times like if it was a normal day. Thank you guys so much for treating me like an equal, for being friends with me, for playing with me, for inspiring me, for teaching me new things and helping me with anything I could ever ask for. Thank you guys so much, and while words will never be able to fully explain what I fully mean or what I fully feel. But I hope that this at least will give you an idea of how greatfull I am for you guys... i hope this will show you how thankful I am for you guys. I love you guys so much that the word love just can’t even express how much you guys truly mean to me. You guys have changed my life for the better and even tho I will probably never be able to repay that I’m hoping that I can do something to at least return how much y’all have done for me. And even tho a lot of the people I mean by this message are not on Tumblr I have a few that are and it is for that reason that I will thank you and write something for you guys here too. So here is the part for the specific people.

@frogb, Genny :)

Genny :D

GENNYYYYY >:D

Good God..... how are you even real XD well to start off, a quick intro :).... probably my only irl friend that is actually active on this app and of course MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER IN THE WORLD AND THE #1 PERSON IN MY LIFE >:), I want to take this opportunity to just thank you again (I know I’ve said a a bunch of times and you probably hate me for saying it a lot XD, that along with sorry :(((( I can’t really control that Lmao but I’m getting better at it right :D). You....you’re my best friend :)... you have changed my life for the better way too many times cuz. I’ve honestly lost count dude. I’ve lost count. I just want you to know that even tho I said that the first thing I wrote on this post was meant for a bunch of people. I was really mainly thinking about you when I wrote it. Ever since you’ve been part of my life. You have made sure to change it completely. And only for the good and for the better. I don’t think you have a genuine idea of how much you’ve changed my life and how much you’ve made me happy :)... thank you Genny thank you so much for being the best thing to ever happen to me. Genny you truly are the best most amazing, kindest, nicest, loveliest, most wonderful, most talented person I’ve ever met. Look I won’t write my full thing here since...well I’ll say the rest to you directly. But well .. Genny... I love you... I love you so fucking much alright :D thank you for being the highlight of my life. Thank you for being you Genny and thank you for being here for me and just being my best friend in the world :)

@ritsu-in-a-maid-dress , heyyy duuuudee buddy chum buddy pal XD (don’t ask lmao), I know we like met only a few weeks ago actually idk maybe at the point when I actually decide to post this it’ll be months or like a year 😳 (and if it is HOLY SHIT WTF I HOPE I ACTUALLY TOLD YOU SOMETHING IN THAT TIME CUZ DAMN) and well so far, you have been nothing but an amazing, way too nice, handsome friend that has somehow probably one of the sweetest hearts out there. You’re actually so fucking funny and have made my day much better sometimes just from the very few talked we’ve had lmao (correction now it’s actually been quite a few 😳and honestly they’re getting to much better and funnier so thank you so much for making me laugh :D (oh and I will never forget that one call we had for 3 FUCKING HOURS DUDE!!!! THAT WAS AWSOME!!!) ) and while at first I was very shy to even talk to you. I’m happy that I can comfortably say hi without any regrets or anything lmao. I will tell you something I’m very thankful for in dm too cuz it’s kinda private :) so yeah.... thank you so much for being you and being my friend :D

@quellfy yoooooo duuuudde I don’t think we’ve ever really interacted on here but I’ve talked to you on the server and well I can know from there that. You’re just such an amazing and kind person. And that every time we talk I have a great time :)) I don’t know a lot about you but I do know that you’re an amazing artist who has amazing art (yes even when it’s not sad “pointing at alluka in snow drawing” amazing) and that you’re such a kind and I nice human being who’s been just super nice and good to me :)) so thank you. For being my friend and for being such an amazing human being :D

@faceless-dude yooooo I don’t think we’ve properly talked before but like :))) I really think you’re an amazing person and just super talented. Your art is something I’ve never seen before and I really really think it’s unique and just amazing. Thank you for your wonderful wishes. And yeah dw. I plan on keeping that promise >:) Gen will get her booties kicked just like you asked XD

@kur-upira we probably only interacted a few times. But in those few times. I could tell what kind of person you are and how much of an amazing person you are :D. I can tell you that just from those few times. I was able to see how much of a beautiful, talented (yes holy shit. I cannot stress this enough. I love your artstyle and good god it’s so good everything from the actual drawings to the shading to the colouring. It’s amazing dude. I really mean that. It’s one of the most unique and most beautiful artstyles I’ve ever seen), friendly and just amazing human being you are :))) thank you for those few interaction (which probably took me whole days to respond to because of anxiety and bs XD sorry about that lmao) and yeah. I would absolutely love to get to know you better and to interact more with each other :D

@starrynarwhale, I know we like pretty much only interacted like twice with each other but from those few times. I knew that you were a wonderful person :) not just an amazing person. But a very talented one too :D (your art is amazing dude. It’s really great. Not only that but like. Can I just say that. Your frog gon fridays are godly dude. They’re always so fucking cool and wholesome 🥺🥺I love them so much. Amazing) you seem like a very kind and amazing person so yeah :)) I’d love to get to know you better :D

@catboyyouko yooooo. I know we probably have only interacted once but let me tell you dude. You’re a wonderful, amazing, nice, kind and extremely talented human being. (Dude you don’t understand. Your art is fucking amazing. Not only that but your comics are so goddamn great too. Not just in an art way but in a story way too. It’s just always so amazing) oh and also like... I see that you vent a lot and stuff and just wanted to let you know that if you ever needed someone to talk to or vent to. I’m here for you. I feel like you’re such an amazing person and I would love to get to know you better :) so yeah. If you ever need anyone to talk to. I’m here alright :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. I LOVE YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH

And if I didn’t @ you I promise It’s just cuz I’m too scared to bother you and @ Ing this many ppl has already made my anxiety skyrocket.

[sarkywoman]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by: @spikeymarshmallows​ (find her version of this here) Name: sarkywoman, sometimes people just say sarky.  Fandom(s): At the moment, The Umbrella Academy is my dominant one. I rarely ever give up on one entirely though, as can be seen by some of my recent Destiel reblogs. (I’m also excited for some of the upcoming Marvel content. Okay, I say ‘some’, I just mean Mackie’s Captain America really XD) Where you post: Archive of our Own , though I still need to upload a lot of my older work that was posted on livejournal. I often post a link here on tumblr when I write something new, but not always. Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): ‘Noble Blood’, which just proves you should always chase your bliss, as it was an utterly indulgent vampire AU written as a gift for my then-gf in A Song of Ice and Fire fandom. Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos): Eek, an unfinished WIP not updated since May 2014! D: Sorry people. ‘A Song of Bastards and Wards’, with Joanna Snow instead of Jon Snow. I think these fics have more kudos because the ASOIAF fandom was so big, rather than due to quality relative to my other work. Favorite story you’ve written so far: Ooof. I have been writing for a long time, this is such a tricky question! It would probably be easier to just split all my fic into two categories: fun to write vs not-fun to write. I like to be experimental, so fics like Story and Sorcery for Loki or The Aimless One for Misfits or The Price Of Parenthood for Umbrella Academy let me try new things, but I notice my mind does tend to go to a particular Tales from the Borderlands fic, Young God. I wrote it in a fit of inspiration for a friend one evening and it encapsulated what I wanted from the Jack/Rhys dynamic more than anything I wrote for them since, I think. I was also happy with some of the imagery and how I managed to maintain and build on the tone throughout. Only 4k words, doesn’t overextend, but I enjoyed writing it. It flowed very well. Fic you were nervous to post: Krystalline. Not due to its quality, just... I know what this fandom’s like when it comes to pairings. I write fic for myself and my friends and this was for a friend. I originally sent it to her privately but it seemed weirder to hide it than to post it. It’s good writing, if I may be so bold. Other than that, I get nervous posting final chapters on multi-chapter fic. I don’t want to let down people who’ve invested time in it! How do you choose your titles?: Varies. I’ll often use song lyrics. I often write to appropriate music and a line will jump out at me. Otherwise, it will just be a fitting phrase, like The Weak Link for an AU fic where Klaus is led to believe he’s too weak to have powers. Do you outline?: Not often, but if it’s a multichapter fic, more frequently these days I will, to avoid WIPs that dwindle into nothing because I don’t write as quickly as I used to. How I go about it varies. Sometimes it’s just a list of stuff I want to happen that I vaguely order, sometimes it’s a scene-by-scene adaptation, like the aforementioned Weak Link AU or Song of Bastards and Wards. Those involved noting scenes from the show/book and figuring out how they would change with the new circumstances. Complete: 

Waheyyy... *dabs or something, idk* I have... oooh a lot more that needs uploading to AO3 but it’s a case of finding the time to reread old work so that I can tag it properly. With all that’s been happening lately I checked my SPN folder and found to my alarm that I wrote over a hundred stories that I saved while I was in the fandom, but only 5 of those are on my AO3. I did some for Marvel that aren’t cross-posted either, a bunch for NCIS... once we start going back more than ten years the quality is a bit cringy though.  In-Progress: Uh... I don’t want to give up on any of my WIPs officially but the only one I can actually say I’m actively working on is a Kliego AU for my Bad Things Happen Bingo. Diego is a detective, but I promise I’m not ripping off @spikeymarshmallows​‘ ‘City Two-Four’! Mine’s more of a noir. It’s for the ‘Paranoia’ square and Diego has bad paranoia, but it might be justified given he’s investigating the Commission crime syndicate after the kidnapping of Allison’s daughter Claire and after they’ve destroyed at least two of his loved ones. Not a happy fic but hopefully not too painful either. (I like to sit in that middle ground where readers go “Oh no! Awww... Oh thank god.”) Maybe when I watch the new Loki series I’ll be motivated to go back to my Cap/Loki AU fic, It is Not Fantasy... Coming soon/not yet started: I really should write more original stuff at some point if I want to be a novelist... but I’m very much enjoying bad things happen bingo, will carry on doing gen or shippy fics for that in UA fandom Prompts?: Can do. Have done in the past. Only issue is when people really misjudge what I’m into, lol. Or they give a ‘prompt’ so thorough it’s more like a sparknotes guide. Upcoming work you’re most excited about: I’ve been working on my ‘Paranoir’ (working title) for a while now. Mental health has led to a bit of a hiatus on my writing, reading... and my entire life. But it’s so nearly finished. Paranoir, I mean. I just need to write an eensy bit more Allison and figure out how to organise all the bits I’ve done. 

I tag anyone who wants to give this a go :)

[runnfromtheak]

fanfic author’s tagging game (yay!)

Thank ya darling for tagging me!!!! @boyblunder-thedarkheir!!!!!

AO3 Name(s): LostandLonelyBirds aka RUNNFROMTHEAK

Fandom(s): Primarily Batfamily (so, Dick Grayson) and Young Justice (along with DCU obviously, but I also dabble into Miralculous Ladybug, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, and MCU (none of which I will ever seriously write for? Idk man).

Number of fics: 22 I will admit to (how do you have so many, my dear @boyblunder-thedarkheir​? What is your secret?)

1. Fic you spent the most time on: Are we talking writing or thinking about writing, cause those are two very different answers. I spent the most time writing this bitch of a fic I’m working on right now, and the most time thinking about the two latest installments of my main series, Death is But An Illusion (aka How Could He and How Could It Be). I agonize over every goddamn detail with Dick’s anger, Jason’s Jason-ness, and every person’s every move and word. I am a mess, and I’m going to be murdered if I don’t update them soon. I am not sorry about that XD

2. Fic you spent the least time on:  You Came Behind Me Secretly and Shattered Every Piece of Me (There's Blood On My Hands) aka my pick-your-own-canon clusterfuck of Dark!Dick Grayson and Dick Grayson being traumatized and tortured with no comfort (Some of them are so fucked up I question my own mind). I take less than an hour to write 80% of them, cause they’re short, and they very rarely take any time to plan. Fun and easy!

3. Longest Fic: At present, he had a chest full of heart and a body full of scars (pain became the only way that he could ever learn)  is my longest, but the fic I’ve been hinting at on my other tumblr, @lostandlonelybirds​ is easily double the length (why do I do this to myself? Why am I like this?) the long boi (named one, not the one I won’t shut up about) is easily my best fic at the moment, and I’m so excited to write a sequel whenever I get the chance.

4. Shortest Fic: With Bated Breath and Pain You See (We're Nothing More Than Memories) technically, I have one shorter than that, but it’s a collab that wasn’t my original idea so I’m not counting it :)

5. Most Hits: You Came Behind Me Secretly and Shattered Every Piece of Me (There's Blood On My Hands) why do you people like this trash-fire so much? I don’t understand

6. Most Kudos:  How Could He which does not surprise me.

7. Most Comment Threads: Technically, How Could He followed by the trash-fire AU title thing I’m too lazy to type again, but I’m gonna love on this one: Just Close Your Eyes (No One Can Hurt You Now) because it’s my baby, and it deserves it okay?

8. Fave Fic You Wrote: Ooo we are doing a top five.

             5. How Could It Be (Jason is precious and sad and Dick is oblivious, and I love one-sided pining wayyyy too much)

             4.  How Could He (I put my life force into this stupid fic, so ofc it’s here)

             3. I'm Scared to Live But I'm Scared to Die (I'm Numb Inside) (the suicidal boy, major trigger warning)

             2. I See Things That Nobody Else Sees (And It's Slowly Killing Me)  (the only fic I’ve ever written from Cass’s perspective, and definitely one of the creepiest and most fucked up. Bruce does not look good here)

             1. he had a chest full of heart and a body full of scars (pain became the only way that he could ever learn) (so ummm Bruce doesn’t look good here either? RHATO #25 if DC wasn’t cowardly and let Dick react how he actually would, aka fuck Batman is the new motto)

9. Rewrites?: Fuck. All my older ones? Everything? Who knows.

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:

Let’s do two. I’m nice.

First comes from How Could It Be:

“You loved him,” Donna says, ignoring his barb. “You loved him, and no one’s seen you or heard from you and I’m concerned, damnit.”

 She punches his shoulder roughly, and he’s reminded of her strength, no matter how small she seems in her dead best friend’s sweater.

 “I’m fine. Peachy-keen. Couldn’t be fuckin’ better. Honestly, you should be more concerned with Replacement, don’t think he’s slept in—”

 “Jason.” Her voice is firm, even as her eyes swim with tears and she holds her arms tight to herself, breathing in the well-loved item’s scent. Jason wonders when Dick wore it last, if Donna had taken it from his abandoned Gotham Penthouse or his Chicago Apartment. He wonders if he’d left it draped over the couch, like the natural disaster he was, or if it had been folded neatly in a drawer.

For someone who prides himself on not being sentimental, Jason suddenly wishes he had something of Dick’s too.

 “I’m here because I care, and because if Dick was here, he’d be doing the same thing I am.”

 “But he ain’t here,” Jason snaps, “Is he?”

 Donna’s head falls, and he feels like a giant jerk. He just… reacts poorly to that name, hasn’t heard it spoken since the transmission and subsequent funeral, since the guy he’d had the hots for since wearing the scaly panties had his mask ripped away and his life taken in front of Bruce’s eyes (who, to absolutely no one’s surprise, failed to save his son).

In the aftermath, no one said Dick Grayson’s name, always Nightwing, or some inane nickname the superhero community had for him. Last time he said it was to Damian, a failed attempt at comfort. But even Jason’s form of mutual grieving had been better than any of Bruce’s shit ideas. Bastard immortalized the ripped costume from his own son’s corpse (not that it had been the first time) and hadn’t even had the decency to give it a plaque (No ‘Good Soldier’ or ‘Good Son’, just a bare glass case with a bloody suit). Which… was weird. Jason was far from B’s best friend, but even he noticed something seemed strange, off, just not quite right. Like the funeral he didn’t speak at, like the breakdown none of them had witnessed beyond a one-off rage fit

“B, what the fuck happened down here?”

The Batcave was a disaster, dents glaringly obvious in several vehicles and a large spiderweb crack across the Batcomputer. Bruce closes the screen down, but Jason manages to catch a spiraling eye.

“Nothing, just…”

Bruce looks at the spare Nightwing costume none of them had taken down yet, still clean and ready for use (too bad its owner died and would never wear it again).

“Dick?” Jason questions, and the way Bruce’s eyes snap to his face is almost suspicious, almost enough to arouse concern.

“Yes. I—”

Jason sits next to Bruce on the desk, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I miss him too, Old Man. Don’t mean you need to be an ass about it.”

 A memorial next to Jason’s own, but Dickhead’s is empty and broken from Damian’s fists and grief, and Jason’s is just gone. No one told him why, it was just gone.

Kind of like Dick.

He wonders if Bruce would have told him if the video hadn’t been broadcast, if he would’ve told anyone. B did love his fuckin’ secrets.

 “No,” she whispers, and he can hear the tears in her voice, can feel her grief as keenly as his own. It’s palpable, tangible, “He’s dead, and I’m alive, and I don’t know how to handle it.”

 And then, to Jason’s mounting horror, she starts crying openly.

…..

Second comes from my one I’m working on rn with Stray!Dick called I See Sunset In Your Eyes (I Hate This Part Right Here)

“Come on,” Wally says with a pout, dragging an overly amused Jason and Dick with him through the karaoke bar doors. “Donna and Roy are waiting for us, and Dick had to take forever to primp.”

 Dick shrugs with a grin.

 “Beauty takes time, time I can tell you did not take.”

 Jason snorts, and Wally glares at him.

 “At least I don’t take five hours to finish getting ready.”

 “At least I can last longer than five minutes.”

 “Ouch!” Roy butts in, throwing an arm around Jason and Dick’s shoulders. “Claws are out tonight!”

 “Speaking from experience?” Jason asks, eyebrow raised.

 Dick smirks without comment, sauntering past the group towards the table Donna’s lounging at.

 “Hey gorgeous twin of mine,” He greets with a kiss to her eyes. She smirks, rolling her eyes at him.

 “You’re just stroking your own ego with the twin tacked on, Wonder Boy.”

 Dick bumps his shoulder against hers.

 “Can’t I stroke both our egos?”

 “You can stroke mine,” Wally mutters, turning red when Stray winks at his phrasing. Jason and Roy both facepalm, groaning. “Not what I meant guys!”

 “Why Kid Idiot,” Dick replies, hand on his heart, “I had no idea you could be so forward~!”

 Wally glares, waving over the waitress.

 “Round of shots, on this dick,” he jerks his thumb at Stray, offering up his fake ID. She doesn’t bother checking it, probably because this is Gotham, and they were all in uniform. “Whisky, please.”

 “Trying to get me drunk?” Jason jokes. It is, after all, his first big outing with the Titans for non-mission reasons. Stray had practically dragged him out of the Manor with a wink at Alfred and a middle finger for Bruce, saying that Jason needed to have fun outside of books.

Jason knows better than arguing with Dick Grayson-Kyle when he wants something, Stray trained him well.

 “Of course, Batboy,” Roy replies, “It’s not a Titans outing if Stray is fully dressed and everyone’s sober.”

 Dick shrugs.

 “You’ll have to get some real liquor in me if you want me to do anything like last time.”

 “Last time?” Jason asks, looking to Donna for an answer. Dick snorts. You get near naked one time…

 “Boy Blunder ended up in just his boxers in a dancing cage drunk of his ass. Everyone thought he was one of the strippers, and he made, what, three-hundred dollars in bills?”

 “Five-hundred,” Dick replies proudly, offering the waitress a twenty as she came back with their drinks. “Keep the change, darlin’!” He adds with a wink.

 She flushes, making Jason frown.

 Stray, of course, notices this and elbows Jason.

 “Don’t get jealous, Blue Jay, it’s not becoming.”

 Jason does not blush. He doesn’t, and that’s the hill he will die on.

 “I’m not. On an unrelated note, pass me a shot.”

Jason is the master of changing the subject, Stray thinks sarcastically, passing him a shot and downing one of his own.

 “Five bucks says alley cat blacks out,” Roy says smugly as Dick makes a face, the way he always did with heavier liquors. He glares at the redhead, who shrugs unapologetically.

 Donna eyes them both speculatively, taking a sip of her own drink.

 “Twenty says he gives a lap dance before he blacks out.”

 Roy snorts.

 “I’ll take it,” and to Dick, “Don’t do it, for me.”

 Dick bats his eyes innocently.

 “Lil’ old me? I would never do something so…” He trails a finger down Roy’s chest, making him swallow roughly. “Scandalous.”

 Donna grins victoriously as Roy groans, trying and failing to hide his excitement.

 “I hate you. I hate you both.”

 Tagging whoever sees this, I suppose? 

[nikatyler]

I have three weeks to learn everything for my last exams. Am I dying already? Well, no, but actually, yes. I kinda wish we had less time because this way, I’m going to waste so much of it procrastinating.

But maybe now that I’ve told you, I’ll decide to not procrastinate so that you can be proud of me or something. Maybe I’ll show that I am in fact capable of character development. Idk.

Yeah, I’m losing my mind. Just a little bit.

By the way, anyone else feels dead inside after watching the new Game of Thrones episode? You know, in the first part, I literally forgot what I was watching because everyone was so happy and celebrating and all that and then I got a reminder. This show is going to be the death of me.

desira-sims replied to your photo “Before we get to the replies, I want to quickly address something. I’m...”

I feel ya on social media. I recently got rid of a mobile game and the associated fb pages I was in. I’m no longer constantly checking my phone for it. It’s been nice taking a break from that. Focus on school, since that’s the most important thing. Come find us when you need a breather. ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Before we get to the replies, I want to quickly address something. I’m...”

Yes, social media are basically time-eaters who steal the time which could be spend on writing or simming. Recently I've unsubscribed from several Instagram pages dedicated to memes as they my flooded dash and I spent too much time on them. Last two days I've played TS3 world adventures on my laptop without internet connection and it was great

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Before we get to the replies, I want to quickly address something. I’m...”

And I barely paid attention to tumblr as well recently... Well the weather is so great that it would be a crime to spend time onlineXD

Ooh boy, if I was able to get rid of all the memes pages I follow, I’d have so much free time on my hands. But also, I mean...memes.

As for social media, I wish I could deactivate my Facebook account. I really wish. But sadly, all the people I know irl are there. I have to stay there to keep in touch with them. We still share a lot of school stuff there, I’d be lost without it. But those are the only reasons I’m there, I never post on it anymore. I actually deleted most of my photos and old status updates and unfollowed most pages.

I’m going to repeat myself here but I’m so glad I got rid of Twitter. I loved it there, but at the same time, it fueled my negativity. Even when I found and muted or straight up unfollowed the biggest sources of it, I wasn’t happy. So I just stepped into the daylight and let it go and it was the best decision I could make. Even though now tumblr will probably have to deal with my random thoughts. I need to find a special tag for that. Not just “nonsims” or “saviorhide”. Maybe “simmeronnie is losing it again”.

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Isla Paradiso didn’t disappoint at all. It was everything I’ve ever...”

Skyporn 24/7 sounds like a radio station

Lmao you’re not wrong. Or it could be something like a stream where they only record videos of really really gorgeous sky. I’d watch that. Seriously, shut up and take my money. I could stare at pretty sky all day.

desira-sims replied to your post “List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10...”

I recently went back and started this legacy. (Just got to the Gen 5 switch). I think Rachel is absolutely adorable.

Ahh, no way! I hope you’re having fun even though it’s a total mess :D I have to agree though, I love Rachel, she’s awesome.

Watch out, tiny gen 4 rant coming. When I have nothing else to do and I feel inspired, I rewrite gen 4 because I love these characters and they deserve a way better story. I consider the stories they got in the legacy the first drafts/starting point/base or something like that. So in some way, most of this stays in the “new canon”, it’s just thought through better or changed a little bit.

Okay, that wasn’t really a rant but seriously, stop me whenever I seem like I’m about to start rambling about gen 4.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10...”

Number 4 - high five, Zoey, same with me!XD

5 actually, too

Ah, yes, same. Number 4...oh god. Been there, sort of. Just because I’m crushing on a person doesn’t mean I imagine being with them in bed all the freaking time. *looks at a friend who loves to imply that...when I’m actually a small innocent child who only knows woohoo from the sims and I’m not ashamed to admit it*

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Regan: “Court! Finally! How was the flight?” Courtney: “Not bad. I...”

Why is her face so funny to me ��

Well, it is kinda funny :D

philodendronandfoxes replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Anon needs to chill.

desira-sims replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Don't let them get to you. Something I have learned as I've grown older: Hobbies come and go. One minute you'll find enjoyment in something and the next it doesn't hold the same appeal. Some times you'll come back to that hobby and some times you never pick it up again. Taking a break is something everyone needs. They even tell new parents to take a little "me time" so that they don't get overwhelmed. Taking a moment to collect yourself is understandable.

108sims replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Taking breaks from tumblr is good for your sanity. I had to last month for the sake of my mental health I got stressed out falling behind here and dealing with job stuff. Just like for you with school, job takes priority over my blog. I’ve taken so many breaks, honestly it’s fun to enjoy other hobbies and do other things.

dandylion240 replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

RL should always take priority. Taking breaks and doing other things is healthy and good. Don't let this anon get to you or make you feel guilty.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Anon is strange - as if tumblr was the only life you've got and you have to stay here whenever you like it or not. Why read between the lines and find unexisting stuff there like you don't care about your followers? It comes without saying that a person needs breaks from the tumblr every now and then

But who knows probably the anon wanted only to provoke you to start our "favorite" drama. In this case they do need to find a life for themselves

Btw too - feeling lonely on tumblr also can be a reason for a hiatus, so anon makes no sense

So I kinda didn’t want to address this anymore because I feel like I’ve said everything in my lengthy answer to that ask but I just wanna say thank you for writing all of this. I didn’t feel bad when I got this, the anon didn’t change my opinion, I still believe everyone has the right to take a break, leave tumblr behind for a bit and not feel sorry about it. Take that me time and come back better than ever (or not if you don’t feel like, that’s fine too)! I was still worried about posting this answer though. So thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one who feels this way!

dandylion240 replied to your post “April 30, 2019: Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person. You know, I...”

Congratulations and have fun with the last day! It'll be bittersweet knowing this may be the last time you'll all be together but it's exciting too because it marks a beginning of something new. So happy for you!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “April 30, 2019: Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person. You know, I...”

Congratulations and welcome to the "adult" life! Let this day be one of the brightest moments in your memory!

Now I'm feeling nostalgic, I'll go and look through my graduation album

108sims replied to your post “April 30, 2019: Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person. You know, I...”

That sounds like a really fun way to spend your last day! At my school at least we had a Senior day where there were a bunch of games and activities. Good luck on your exams, and I hope you enjoy your last day and everything that is to come!

It was very fun and everyone looked so good in their costumes! One of my classmates wore this 20s-like dress and oooh boy. She was gorgeous. Just...leaving on that day was really bittersweet. Part of me was like “yas, we’re done with this place!” but the other part of me already missed it. And yeah, our teacher didn’t forget to remind us that all of us might never meet again. There are reunions, it’s a tradition, but there’s always someone who can’t come.

Okay, moving on or else I’ll start crying, and I’ve already cried a lot today. Looking at you, GoT episode 4.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Regan: “You made it! Nice. I’ve heard you almost threw up on the...”

i'm laughing at the two couples in the background, both flirting during this conversation

Oh god I didn’t realize how funny that looks :D I didn’t want them to just stand there haha.

dandylion240 replied to your photo “In Character Judgement Call: Caleb Protect this soft boy. RULES: You...”

I Caleb the most from gen 4

I know this is just missing a word and I shouldn’t laugh but it comes off kinda funny. Still, thank you!

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Felix: “You look perfect. No, no, you are perfect. Some girls are...”

Despite his ability to burp at inappropriate times Felix can say the sweetest things

No sweeter words have ever been spoken about my boy

Also no truer words have ever been spoken about my boy

108sims replied to your post “I’m waiting for my exam (still have like 2 hours) and I’m bored. I...”

Good luck!

nineyellowgirl replied to your post “I’m waiting for my exam (still have like 2 hours) and I’m bored. I...”

keeping fingers crossed :D

desira-sims replied to your post “I’m waiting for my exam (still have like 2 hours) and I’m bored. I...”

Good luck on you exam!

Thank you guys! The results should come on May 15th. Wish it was that day already. I think I did well, but I won’t be calm until I actually see it.

harmoniouspixels replied to your post “One day, I’ll have a nice tiny mods folder again. Today is not that...”

The TS4 community needs to come up with a Compressorizer like TS2 and TS3 has tbh

Yeah that would be nice. TS4 needs a lot of things in general though, to be fair.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Hmm...”

Hm the thing I do plan something with berries and I need a spouse for my founder which I don't want to create myself... Sooo... Yeah, I could use a sim ��

flowerhoneysims replied to your post “Hmm...”

@simmeronnie But it‘s another kind of pink ☺️

Alright guys, I have an idea. Shoot me a message and we can talk about it! I’m down for this. Here’s just a brief description of everyone I can offer (in case someone else would like a sim and would like to know what they’re signing up for), we can talk more in depth in the messages later. I have one mean pink girl who loves robots, then this one that I’ve shown (she doesn’t have too much personality yet, but she hates her other sister and loves videogames), an agender person with pink skin, white hair and white eyes (loves animals and is the total opposite of their mean twinsister - and yet they’re still best friends somehow) and one pink boy with white eyes who just aged up into a child so I have no idea what he’s going to be like yet. I just remember he got the No Sense of Humor trait.

Can I have a wish though? If I send you one of these sims, would you please share with me the sim they end up with? I would love for them to get together in my game as well.

Side note, can you already tell my bpr is going to be a bigger mess than all my other legacies combined?

lyrea replied to your photoset “Okay, clearly he didn’t ruin all the traditions. Crisis averted.”

^_^ That is an impressive cake they got.

Oh, it is! I’m not sure now, but it might be the one that came with Monte Vista?

[ilkkijangege]

123

Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.

I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.

Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it 😂 as if he's ever talked about me to his friends 😂"

Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH 😂

Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.

Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. 😂

20/3/2020

Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭

It's G tho 😂 Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word 😂

Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something 😂 really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.

.

21/03/2020

Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.

I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!

.

22/03/2020

This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo 😂

Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" 😂 hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako 😂 but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. 😂

Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.

.

23/03

He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people

ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS

Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU

.

24/03

STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME

.

25/03

No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc

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26/03

I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.

I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.

Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.

He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me ‘how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)

Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6′s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.

Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like ‘Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied ‘yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'

Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.

On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.

I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.

.

30/03

STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.

Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?

.

1/04/20

I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)

Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.

Ay ayoko na.

.

5/4/20

Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.

Urgh.

Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.

I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?

Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.

.

6/4/20

Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??

I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.

From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol

.

8/4/20

So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.

But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent 😂

Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.

Will I be over you by then?

.

10/04/20

Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.

I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...

I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.

.

11/04/20

So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 😂 it is actually hilarious 😂 I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.

Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.

.

13/04/20

Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.

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14/04/20

Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??

.

18/04/20

Argh why did I dream of him again?

We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.

Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.

So I just thanked him and watched him leave.

Aish why did I dream of you again???

.

20/4/20

Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.

Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.

Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?

Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.

.

23/04/20

Another day, another Chad dream.

So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.

I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.

Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.

WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.

It is honestly annoying. 😭

I just wanna move on.

.

27/04/20

Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.

.

28/04/20

Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!

Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.

Ugh I hate overthinking this!!

Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.

.

6/05/20

Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.

If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko 😂 Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work 😂 They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]

Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker 😂

(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs 😂)

.

13/05/20

It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.

Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.

Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS 😂

But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.

I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows 😂

I need more time to heal but it will be okay!

Update 14/5:

I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.

Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!

Chad please go away from my feelings 😩

15/5

Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.

He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.

Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous 😂 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos 😂 honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please 😂 don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me 😂

Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭

.

17/5/20

Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.

Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.

.

18/5/20

Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.

Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.

.

20/5/20

Another day of helping him out....

Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.

Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭

But after I helped him, this was his reply:

Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭

.

21/05/20

Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....

.

26/05/20

He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.

Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.

.

27/05/20

As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.

His response:

Hahaha cute 😂 so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.

He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.

Then when I completed it, this was his reply:

Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" 😂 para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos

BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH

.

5/6/20

So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.

Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird 😂😂😂).

Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. 😂

That was it haha.

But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.

.

15/06/20

So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.

Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"

And that made me kilig inside. 😂

I am awesome, chos! 😂

.

16/06/20

Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays 😂

Lol fam watchu gonna do? 😂

Tara let's go on a date chos 😂

.

24/06/20

I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy

Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha

.

3/07/20

Yo wassup.

I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.

Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday 😂 it was weird 😂

.

12/07/20

Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.

He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....

.

14/07/20

So today, I was overthinking again.

Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?

Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya

Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa

.

19/07/2020

So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.

Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.

Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.

.

08/08/20

Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him 😂 argh I just want to be with him 😂

He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos 😂

Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him 😭😂

Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu

.

16/08/20

So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)

I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.

I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.

She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.

So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.

Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.

I'll let you know if there's progress.

.

19/08/2020

So today, I helped him out with a case.

One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.

When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji 😂 Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay 😂

Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.

.

9/9/20

So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❤️

Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha

Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.

.

13/09/20

So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭

I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭

But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.

MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭

[darkgreyclouds]

Thank you so much for all the support for the past few weeks! You all are super stars with your patience thank you! I hope in the fall when I can breathe a bit I can get better with this orz. You all rock!

Answers below the cut~

I’ve been last year! It was so fun I’d love to go again! Unfortunately it’s up to the con lottery gods as to whether or not I go next year. I never like to promise anything until I can confirm I’m going but I’ll keep my con list updated!

Okay haha I’ll definitely consider it! Thanks for the suggestion Anon ^o^

XANLAS WEEK IS COMING SOON!! MAYBE ;)

Thank you so much sdjaldka;dla;a My day is already better :’)!  I hope you have a great day!

Do you mean if I plan on making any more Anon! Maybe! I kind of lost steam after I beat the game haha idk why it always happens but maybe in the future! Thanks so much!

Maryland!

Hi, sorry I’m not sure what you’re asking about but it seems like you’re looking to commission some work. I don’t do requests or commissions. However there’s a lot of great artists on tumblr who do take commissions, you should try contacting them! You should also ask off anon so you can keep the conversation private because anon asks are going to be published no matter what!

omg thank you so much this means a lot ;o; I hope you have a great day!!!

I have! But I guess I deleted that pic :/ Maybe again some day~

xD!!  /w\ Thank you so much anon!!! I hope you had a great Otakon, even tho the weather was a little crazy that weekend haha!

Well this blog originally started off as a side blog of my tumblr which was weather themed and about umbrellas so I was just going off the weather theme and moved to clouds. And I believe the way copyright works is that you don’t really need to register for it, you have it when you create something. Unless you want your work in the library of congress you can pay like $35 to get something copyrighted. As for starting, just start and keep drawing until you find something you’re comfortable with. Heck I still don’t really know what I’m doing! Good luck anon!!

Thank you so much!!! That’s totally fine I’d love to see it if you do! :D! Thanks for asking!!

😘

Omg thank you so much!!!! You are so sweet anon!!!!!! sadfadsl;aka I hope you have a good week xox!!! 💕💖

(Omg this question is still very funny. So very ???)  I’m here to preach the gospel of Lasinigo love, Anon. 🙌

Catprint! 

LOL omg how spicy! I’m not sure actually....the list is very long for ones I’d like to be friends with tho!

Aww thank you Anon. I still ship Xander and Laslow but not as much haha. I might actually! Not a game this time tho I wanna live a little before winter cons pick up x_x

Omg thank you so much?? Tbh anon you’re amazing and I hope you have an amazing day! 💕

Anon, that is the million dollar question because I also ask myself this question occasionally.....I don’t really know and I’m not trying to brush off this question I honestly don’t know! I look at my past work to now and its like...dang thats a weird progression haha I guess I just kept drawing? That’s all I did;;

Oh! No worries You got a sharp eye anon, thanks for catching that! I updated the tag haha What a typo :’)

Aww thanks Anon!! You too!!! hehe <3

With the way the internet is nowadays its kinda hard to feel solidarity when you get spammed like 24/7 so you just feel like you’re alone in your opinions. So I get what you mean, Anon, and you shouldn’t feel bad about having those opinions! Personally its complicated for me because I understand why Intellsys keeps bringing back Awakening and Fates and don’t get me wrong I love those games too and my favorite characters are from those games, but historically speaking, these games come from a long line of stories. Personally I feel that for me to appreciate fire emblem I have to understand its past and the journey it took to get to Fates like I want to know more about the characters we don’t see as much so I can love them too. So like it was funny because I was playing Sacred Stones and met Innes and thought ‘man, he’s kinda the type of character a lot of people would love if they knew about him’ and once he was released in FEH he really had a warm reception. It kinda seems like a lot of people love the newer games because thats their intro and they just need to venture to the past too to see that those games were really great too!

But to answer your question I do think Fates and Awakening get bias which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If people really love these games, it’s great! And if some people don’t, that’s great too! But just know even if you don’t think they are as great as everyone says there isn’t any reason for you to feel bad about it. It’s your opinion you’re allowed to have them! There are a lot of people who share the same opinion as you too! They probably are being respectful because you know it’s always a bummer when everyones like YEA I LOVE THIS and then the one persons like NO I DON’T IT SUCKS and its like asking for argument and...the nature of the internet etc xD;;

TDLR; you shouldn’t feel bad, you’re opinions are as valid as theirs. Sorry for the essay!

Thank you so much!!! ;o;!!! I go a little bit crazy with the sparkles everytime it just seems like 

xD!

Anon, thanks for sending in a note I really do care and appreciate it haha! Have a nice day~

I’m super casual!!! But it’s a cute show very charming! :’)

AHH that’s so cool! That’s totally fine Anon! Thanks for asking I would really love to see it if you do!! ;o; <333

No not at all! You know what, I’ve never thought about them but I’m all for it too! One thing is for sure they both are beautiful girls and they look good together. I feel like their dynamic is a little more quiet but it could be really interesting. ALSO I didn’t know what harmony was so I googled it and I thought it was a photo edit. 

Can’t believe it!! THAT’S AZURA AND CORDELIA RIGHT? IT’S NOT AN EDIT RIGHT???? BUT It’s real you’re so right Anon! I kinda want to watch it now to see what its about, looks pretty gay 😏👌A truly harmonious pair indeed!

[dreadpiratevinna]

Thanks for the tag @declarations-of-drama!

RULES:

It’s not just our Brooding Sims who have the option to ‘Talk About Feelings’; we can also talk about our feelings, about them, too!

Look deep into yourself and ponder on the thoughts which motivate you to play the game we all love. Then tag at LEAST 5 people on your friends list to help them explore their feelings too. TALKING IS GOOD OKAY!!!

The questions are as follows:

1. The boss of EA is in front of you asking for one statement about The Sims before he goes away and makes TS5. What do you say to him?

How about don’t start your game as an always online claymation social experiment then hack out everything your fans hate and frankenstein it into a shadow of what it could have been. 

(Am I making my feelings clear here? XD)

2. Do your Sims know of you as their Sim God or are you the invisible deity to them?

I’d say they don’t know I’m there. I make them clean up after themselves(most of the time) and work for everything so I think they feel pretty self-reliant. :P

3. How do you see yourself connected to your Sims? Do those of you who say you love them, really mean this? How deep is your game?

I do love my sims! I have been playing the same family line since March 2013 and I have actually gone to great lengths to keep the save files linked using Traveler, which is how I have in-game family pics dating all the way back to the first generation(and family tree and all my heirs gravestones). I have started other saves here and there, but I can’t play any other family the same way I play this one. If my computer spontaneously combusted and I lost everything and had to start over, I’m not really sure that I would. Especially considering all the time I’ve put into curating/editing my mods and cc, though I do have some stuff backed up online.

4. What’s your Sims Secret? Is there something going on in your game that none of your screenshots will ever tell us? WHO IS LOCKED IN YOUR BASEMENT???? What are those secret Sims doing behind closed doors?

Alas, I have no basement paint trolls. I do have what I’d consider a secret handshake with the game, to which I attribute my save game longevity. 

It boils down to: 

Run Process Tamer> Clear cache files>start up the game(usually it will be 3am in game)>save at 11am(in game)>save somewhere between 3 and 5>save at 1am after Grow updates>close game>clear cache files>reopen and check all the townie sims who aged up(or should have if they are glitching) and recover any missing sims. I also take this opportunity to dress my sims appropriately>If I need to do any building or redecorating I will close/clear cache/reopen to do that>save after the 3am Overwatch check and close.

I do this every single sim-day!

5. Can we learn anything from our Sims to take away into our real lives? And/Or can you give us an example of how The Sims has influenced you outside of gaming.

I can honestly say playing the sims has taught me a LOT about troubleshooting. Idk, I guess that is still kinda game related. I’m much more computer literate!

I will think up some questions and tag some of you tomorrow after work! :3

[kaitloyalist]

92 Things

Thanks for tagging me @kittenmusicals, @pbophelia and @justhedeepsea!😊💕 I’m kinda late to doing this, and I don’t know if people would really read it but here it goes~

THE LAST

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My mom 3. Text message: Literally just “👍” 4. Song you listened to: Girls’ Generation - Bad Girl 5. Time you cried: Yesterday? I was watching a sad video with a bittersweet ending okay!

HAVE YOU

6. Date someone twice: I've never dated, period 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: No. Future boyfriend better not be lol 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: Of course 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I've never drank anything alcoholic and I never will (on my own accord at least) ^^

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. Shades of purple 13. Shades of blue 14. Shades of pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: Yes! ^^ 16. Fallen out of love: Hmmm yes, but I’d call it a little crush rather than love 17. Laughed until you cried: Many times, mostly because of my friends XD 18. Found out someone was talking about you: No, and I don't care if they did, good or bad~ 19. Met someone who changed you: Yes, I think so 20. Found out who your friends are: Err I don't understand this but yes? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: No. I haven't kissed anyone ever since I was... 4-5 years old yikes the truth came out lmao I had my first kiss when I was a kid!

GENERAL

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I have more or less 500 FB friends, maybe about 70% of them? 23. Do you have any pets: No 24. Do you want to change your name: Not anymore but in the past, yes because it's a common name 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Nothing particularly special. Just treating my family to iftar/dinner on the weekend before my birthday, and my sister surprised me with an ice cream cake on the day itself! ^^ and I bought diamonds for Choices as a gift for me, myself and I lmao 26. What time did you wake up: 7am, but I figured it was still early so I went to sleep again and then woke up at 9am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Posting the latest Kaitlyn Liao post of mine before going to bed? ^^" 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Pitch Perfect 3!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: After sunset. We had dinner together along with my dad :)

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Appearance-wise, my eyes since one is smaller than the other so... but personality-wise, I’d like to be more outgoing :) 31. What are you listening right now: Ariana Grande - Problem 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: I’m keeping it hush hush 🙃 34. Most visited Website: Youtube, Tumblr, Facebook 35. Mole/s: One on my left wrist, one on the right thumb, one near my right ear, and one on my.... heh ^^" 36. Mark/s: I have a birthmark on the left side of my neck, and another on my right wrist (my sister and some cousins have it at this position too!) 37. Childhood dream: Doctor 38. Hair color: Black, but it can appear brown 39. Long or short hair: Long~

40. Do you have a crush on someone: No unless we're talking about fictional characters or celebrity crushes 41. What do you like about yourself: My caring and loyal traits :) 42. Piercings: One on each ear 43. Blood type: O+ 44. Nickname: Zee, Izzy (on here) 45. Relationship status: Single 46. Zodiac: Cancer 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show/s: How I Met Your Mother, Friends 49. Tattoos: None

50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: None~ but maybe, just maybe, lasik someday? 52. Hair dyed in different color: Never done it but I’d like to! 53. Sport: I used to play badminton a lot, but now I just watch sports (football/soccer and tennis) 55. Vacation: Europe in general, Japan, South Korea... Just about anywhere really, I just want to travel! Someone take me!! 56. Pair of trainers: Skechers, Converse, Nike

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: Nothing till tomorrow morning 58. Drinking: Water 59. I’m about to: answer the next question oh god this is a lot

61. Waiting for: the new Choices update 62. Want: To finish this asap and sleep 63. Get married: Maybe someday but not in the near future 64. Career: I’ve just finished my study recently so none atm. I’m keeping my options wide :) 65. Hugs or kisses: For now, hugs! 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: I don’t understand this but I’m a shortie so I want to be taller? For my friends, I want them to be shorter than me lmao but if for my significant other, then taller but not too tall 68. Older or younger: Doesn't matter as long as they're not too old or too young for my taste

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, never hook-ups 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Somewhere in between

HAVE YOU EVER

74. Kissed a stranger: Nope. Should I? 😏 75. Drank hard liquor: No 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No. Rather, I broke my specs a couple of times 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex in the first date: No, and not gonna happen 79. Broken someone’s heart: Idk I don't think so? Even if I did, I didn't mean to?

80. Had your heart broken: Yes, but it wasn't anything romantic-related 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: No? It was just a simple crush ^^

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84. Yourself: Just once in a while so not really 85. Miracles: Yes 86. Love at first sight: I believe in crush at first sight :) it ain't love or crush at first sight with Kaitlyn Liao and Park Jimin lmao 87. Santa Claus: Only when I was a kid. I wasn't raised to believe in one but hello to TV/movie influence~ 88. Kiss on the first date: Nah 89. Angels: Yes

OTHER

90. Current best friend’s name: J and Z are their initials :) 91. Eyecolor: Dark brown 92. Favorite movie: A Walk To Remember

I'm not going to tag anyone for this one, sorry. But if you'd like to give it a shot, then please, by all means! And I'll definitely read them if you tag me in it! 😊

[k0bot]

Got tagged by @wonderseverythingabove​ and I love them SO

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag

-smaller bag with makeup in it

-crushed and forgotten six-pack of oreos

-much-too-large wallet

-a Whole Laptop

-a veritable drugstore

Five Things In My Bedroom:

Lemme cut you off right there and say there’s nothing in my bedroom but my bed and clothes, we have an office and all my fun shit’s in there. Not limited to but including: funko pops/legos/small anime figurines, my robot unicorn attack themed computer, all my husband’s warhammer figures and paint supplies, a barbell, my inflatable dinosaur costume.

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life:

-Lift my friend like a barbell

-become a polyglot

-write a book

-work on a movie

-live in another country

Five Things That Make Me Happy:

-My hubband. He’s the best, you don’t even know. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

-MY DOGGO. His name is Momo and he is the cutest dog that ever was.

-Food. Especially fancy food.

-any form of travel, even just outside the city

-ART

Five Things On My To-Do List:

-Write excerpt/summary for Klance Big Bang (oh shit)

-Update Homesick at Space Camp

-Write my booook

-CHANGE MY GOD DAMN NAME ON MY SOCIAL SECURITY CARD (pro tip don’t change your name IT’S AWFUL)

-laundry

Five Things People May Not Know About Me:

-I was damn near fluent in Japanese when I was in high school and my listening/reading comprehension is still WAY BETTER THAN EXPECTED

-I’m an only child?

-I work in animation, mostly in the gaming industry (you probably know that)

-Dance Dance by fall out boy was my phone ringtone for the entirety of 2006 and the first dance song that played at my wedding because I’ve been secret emo trash my whole life

-Homesick at Space Camp is the first thing I’ve written and posted since 2003

Name?: Mari (everyone has this name now and it’s driving me insane, I was cool and unique for like 20 gd years and now suddenly EVERYONE IS MARI)

Nicknames?: Ko, Marisaur, Bam

Zodiac?: Aquarius!

Sexual Orientation?: Pan/demisexual

Ethnicity?: I glow in the dark, literally.

Favorite Fruit?: Guava

Favorite Season?: SUMMER

Favorite Flower?: Roses, fight me I’m basic

Favorite Scent?: Anything citrus or salty

Favorite Animal?: Horses/dogs

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: Tea

Cat or dog?: Not really a cat person. Love dogs v much.

Dream Trip?: Currently I want to tour literally all of Asia.

Number of Followers?: 244 where are all you assholes

What do I post about?: Do I even technically post... I’m a reblog ghost who reblogs fuckin’ memes and cool art/photography

Do I get asks on a regular basis?: only if I’ve either just posted a chapter, or if it’s been too long since I’ve posted a chapter

Favorite Band?: Look we can pretend all we want but it’s Fall Out Boy.

Aesthetic?: The ocean in warm places, salt, geometric shapes, gold, neon signs, space, stars reflected in pools of water, cyber-punk, colored hair, cityscapes, old places

Fictional Character I’d Date?: Duo Maxwell, my original animu husband.

Hogwarts House?: Gryffindoooooooor (but Hufflepuff was a reeeeeal close second)

Rules: BOLD or star the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller -so close, 5′ 6″

I wear glasses -sometimes I wear contacts - just found out I should be wearing them tho...

I have at least one tattoo -SOON

***I have at least one piercing*** - Six earrings

***I have blonde hair*** - Naturally, currently it’s dark Opal tho

I have brown eyes

I have short hair - I got a side shave idk if that counts

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or ***have had braces***

PERSONALITY:

***I love meeting new people*** - except when I don’t? XD

People tell me that I’m funny - They do tell me I make THEM feel hilarious

***Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me*** ONLY if they’re close friends

***I enjoy physical challenges***

***I enjoy mental challenges***

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

***I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it*** This is too real

There is something I would change about my personality - I am too old for that kind of shit. I’m me and I do my best at it.

ABILITY:

***I can sing well***

***I can play an instrument*** - Several!

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

***I can draw well*** - ostensibly

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

***I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute*** Can’t everyone? This seems poorly phrased.

***I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling***

***I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch***

***I know how to throw a proper punch***

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

***I have learned a new song in the past week***

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

***I have drawn something in the past month***

****I enjoy writing****

***I do or have done martial arts***

EXPERIENCES:

***I have had my first kiss*** -Man I’d hope, I’m married

***I have had alcohol*** -I don’t think this quiz was made for old ladies

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

***I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting***- Ok but Madoka tho

***I have been at an overnight event***

***I have been in a taxi***

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

***I have visited another country***

***I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts*** so many

RELATIONSHIPS:

***I’m in a relationship***

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

***I have been in at least 3 relationships***

I have never been in a relationship

***I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them*** - lol

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

***I have been in a relationship for at least a year*** - Been married for almost 2

***I have had feelings for a friend*** - Lol like, exclusively

MY LIFE:

***I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”*** - AT LEAST

I live close at my school

***My parents are still together***

I have at least one sibling

***I live in the United States***

There is snow right now where I live

***I have hung out with a friend in the past month***

***I have a smartphone***

I have at least 15 CD’s

***I share my room with someone*** - LOOOOOOL

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

***I know a person named Jamie***

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

***I have dyed my hair***

***I’m listening to one song on repeat right now*** - Weezer, Feels Like Summer

I have punched someone in the past week

***I know someone who has gone to jail***

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

***I speak at least 2 languages***

***I have made a new friend in the past year***

I tag whoever wants to and also @unabashedtrashcollector

[terrific-lunacy]

2016 Writing Meme

Writing Self-Evaluation for 2016

So the weirdest thing happened. tumblr notifies me I got tagged by @renderedreversed though I’m not, in fact, tagged in the post. It’s a ghost tag. Maybe I’m the chosen one. So in a sudden bout of compulsive oversharing I’m doing it anyways ;) Also I love all of your stories and I’m just hijacking your post don’t mind me 1. List of works published this year: I do hope you don’t mean completed ones...You’ve come to the wrong place otherwise

Set the Sails (and don’t look     back) - HP

Let’s start the show - HP

6 parts in the ‘First encounters in history’ series - Hamilton

Rumors only grow (into Truth) -  Hamilton

Mercurial Wrath - Hamilton

honourable mention to ‘Blurring Reality’ because I published it in December 2015 so aallllmost 2016 xD. Which would make this list everything I ever published apart from ‘Rebuilt’ lmao.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why): Set the Sails? Idk, it feels different from the others. I’m not good at recognizing or analyzing writing styles but I usually drive the whole plot with conversations. Set the Sails stands out because especially the first chapter has barely any direct speach at all. I guess I’m not so much proud of the story itself, but rather the fact that I managed to deviate from my comfort zone.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why): Depending on the reasons I could literally justify all fics as being the one I’m least proud of. I’m going to say ‘Rumors only grow’ here, because even for a oneshot it doesn’t seem to have much meat to it.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing: How do people have favorite excerpts. really, tell me your secrets, I beg you. Whenever I get Tom and Harry alone in one room I’m happy tbh.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received: I love them alllll! I can’t stress that fact enough! But alright, alright I can’t dodge all questions. I’m always especially amused when someone starts reading Rebuilt for the first time and leaves short reviews for almost every chapter while they work their way through it. Because at the beginning they’re all like ‘nice’ ‘i like it’ ‘will read more’ or commenting on the plot and then after 40+ chapters they go ‘...there’s no point to any of this, you just like playing with the characters don’t you’. It’s like making a new friend that gets me intuitively.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard: *looks at her last updates sometime in summer* uhhh… It’s been hard finding time to write during the whole year really. I know I could just write half an hour or so every evening but… that’s not how my brain works. I need to know that I have time, like several hours worth of time, even if I don’t need that long. Otherwise nothing comes out and it feels like work.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: everything I write surprises me No but really, I’m often surprised because I don’t map the stories out. So I tend to write myself into a corner and panic over how to get out of it, when suddenly it just happens and I have a new idea. It doesn’t help that I lean towards drawn-out mysteries in my plots. The only reason why they’re uncovered so slowly is because I don’t know the answer. Fake it till you make it. One of the many examples would be the last chapter of Let’s start the show, where Harry is literally already walking towards the manor and I still had no idea how Riddle would get rid of Zabini in some kind of smooth, sophisticated way.

I’m usually not too surprised over how a character turns out to be/act, because I guess I have a pretty solid picture in my head? But I found myself very surprised over how easy or hard a specific character was for me. I would expect characters that I love to come easily and others maybe not so much, but that doesn’t seem to be true at all. Honestly I haven’t figured out which types I can write easily, it seems random so far. I’d really like to write for Hamilton/Burr but as of now Aaron Burr is impossible for me to write. come here and let me love you you little piece of shit

8. How did you grow as a writer this year: I’m always learning more English so that’s a plus that comes automatically with time and practice. I have grown more conscious of my writing. It’s not just me madly writing down whatever I see in my head, I’m actually taking the time to think about what phrases would best describe it.

9. How do you hope to grow next year: I want to finish Rebuilt. Please. For the love of god and all that is holy. Let it end. I guess just write more, generally speaking? I’d like to not have to sit around and wait for inspiration just so I write anything at all. I want to know how to push through even if maybe not all of the conditions have been met perfectly.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): So obviously every review I receive has the effect of cheering me on, but I’m going to cue into the ‘muse’ bit here, because the effect Hamilton had on my life can not be understated. The way words are used in that musical is beyond anything I ever heard. Seriously, everyone who likes to write should listen to it. It’s so…smooth and clever. Also this goes way further than just me loving/obsessing over a thing. I’m suddenly reading biographies and watch documentaries and just... history is so freaking interesting??? Not the facts, but the people that lived it. And biographies are literally just a psychoanalysis of people and their relationships, pieced together from correspondences. And I’m always on the hunt for interesting characters. Also everyone in the 18th/19th century could write so well (if they could read/write at all lmao) oh my gosh they sound like such nerds. Idk, I really feel like I’ve broadened my understanding of the world immensely. Also I listen to rap now???  Enter Hamilton’s creator Lin-Manuel Miranda who’s basically going around reminding everyone that we could die tomorrow and then who will write that story that’s in your head? Maybe get that out beforehand so it exists. And lastly I did not expect the amount of fun and fresh inspiration a new fandom can bring. I’m casually into a lot of things, but for a long time HP has been the only fandom I actively created stuff for.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I love writing and reading because it’s not real life, so uuuuhhmmm... I actually do know how to sail, does that count? And I’m basically twisting the science I learn in my studies to write Rebuilt so...

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Wisdom and me don’t talk much these days. You’re on your own buddy.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: AHAHAHA is that a trick question?

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. I’d like to read anyone’s answers tbh. @talriconosco @paper-ramblings @littlemissxanda . If you feel like it!

[kinda-not-really-here]

so @daenerysislesbian tagged me in this thing where i have to write 11 facts about myself and then tag some people. Idk how I’m gonna do this since I barely know anything about myself but here we go:

1. I’m bi and I think that everyone is beautiful :)

2. I read a lot. Like a lot a lot. I once finished a 600 page book in one night

3. I also love to draw and I’ve actually posted some of my art on here thanks to the encouragement of some of my wonderful friends~  (you can find it under “my art” if you want)

4. I can roll and fold my tongue at the same time which people find really fucking weird

5. I made my first real boyfriend by randomly messaging “hey” to one of my fav mutuals whom I had never talked to before

6. The first time I cut my hair more than an inch was in 7th grade when I got lice and my mom insisted it’d be easier to get rid of if I had short hair (it was and it only got cut to shoulder lenght but I still cried)

7. I’ve never read any of the Harry Potter books and I’ve only seen the first half of the first movie because of 6th grade english class

8. I consider myself a kinky, sex-positive ace which is really contradictory but whatevs lol

9. I made my first online friend on fanfiction.net because i hadn’t updated in a while lmao (fictionlover124 if you’re curious) 

10. My favorite song right now is Goodbye by WhoIsFancy and you should all check it out! They made 3 different versions of the music video and its really fucking cool

11. I still use ‘XD’ sometimes cuz I’m too lazy to get the emoji lmao

I tag @the-sofa-king-awesome @thatlonelyintrovert @childishgembino @lostangelas @its-hiyori-chii @leaves-and-lights @reptilian-phalanges @justfuckmeupbra @nocreativityforusernames @randomnessurvives

Sorry if you were already tagged and obviously you don’t have to do it but it’d be fun to learn more about you !:)