#should i spell theatre the other way

[thinking-emoji]

While we're at it. Here's the Radio Adelaide interview!

Transcript under the cut!

Interviewer: What's been going on with me earlier today was I spoke with Dan and Phil, who are on their Terrible Influence tour at the moment. I think they're in Sydney right now. Even though I had to call them on the phone via England, they're going to be on at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre next week, Monday the 16th of December. And these guys, they're a British internet- YouTube- radio hosts. They're critics of games. They're book authors. Dan and Phil, they're currently in Australia having their Terrible Influence tour which lands in Adelaide at the Entertainment Centre next week. And it's attempting to take back what the internet took from them. So it's allegedly a screamingly hilarious live stage show. I have no doubt that it is hilarious. They're older, gayer. Phil's gone blonde evidently and nothing is off limits. Now I was brought to the attention of them by some younger folk, who asked me to ask them some certain questions and throw some sort of slightly strange questions at them. And I haven't got time to include all of those questions. And also I had a call after the interview from one of the duo suggesting that “ehh, you might get trolled if you ask a question like that and people misinterpret it” because I was asking- I believe they've become a couple. I'm not sure if they've got married but they may have got married or they may just be, like, going steady but they're a terrific pair of comic lads. In the- in the vein of Kenny Everett, sort of. They don't have a TV show as such. They were both YouTubers, which means that they had little YouTube shows and then they started guesting on each other's show and then they eventually started doing stuff together. Very interesting lads. And I just really want to play the interview now.

Dan: I've got a mullet now that I'm in Australia because apparently that's what the people do. I just think Australians have more fun. So I wanted to appropriate a bit of the culture while we’re here doing the show.

Phil: I think it's more of a micro mullet, Dan, though. You know, you haven't gone full mullet, it's more of a micro…

Dan: It's a mullet without the T. It's just a mull-e.

Interviewer: (laughs) Mull-e. All right. Just with that sort of hard...

Dan: Without the T, yeah.

Interviewer: Hard E on the end. How has your tour been going so far, gentlemen?

Dan: It's been amazing to be in Australia. No offence. We loved having a great time in America. But we're very happy to be in Australia. Although – I know it's summer. Why is it so hot? Nowhere on Earth it should be this warm.

Interviewer: You haven't reached Adelaide yet, have you?

Dan: No, God. Don't tell me it's warmer.

Interviewer: Yes, yes. We're in the middle of a very dry, arid area. Very isolated. A long way from anywhere. But there's only about maybe 30 or 40 tickets left at your gig here.

Dan: We're happy for the people of Adelaide. You know, they're out here in that dry, arid desert. And there's nothing to do but come to the Dan and Phil show. And we love them for that. They're all making responsible financial decisions. So we're very grateful for all the people that are coming to the show.

Phil: And if there's 40 people listening, come hang out with us. It's going to be a fun time.

Dan: Yeah. What else are you doing on that night?

Phil: We're going to be pumping the air con out.

Dan: Yeah, just come to have somewhere cool to sit in the theatre. You know what I mean?

Phil: Yeah.

Interviewer: Are you collecting things from your hangouts that you're going to discuss at the next show? Like before a show, if people hang out with you, give you a piece of artwork or a little letter or a note, something like that. Do you then discuss it in front of the next...

Dan: Oh, a big trendy thing these days. Yeah. Taylor Swift has started this trend of the bracelets that people spell out things on. So people would make like a little bracelet that says Dan or Phil in beads. And the other day I had someone that gave me a bracelet that said Vegemite on it. (Interviewer laughs) And I was like, what the heck? And they said, you don't understand. This is incredibly culturally important. So I was like, okay, thank you. I will cherish this Vegemite bracelet.

Phil: Yeah. I got one that said Koala Daddy. I'm not sure what that meant, but-

Interviewer: Koala Daddy?

Phil: Yeah. I think that's what they were calling me.

Interviewer: Have you actually dipped your tongue into any Vegemite as yet?

Phil: I have. I would have to say it was one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I'm sorry.

Dan: What, Phil, you don't like a yeast-based condiment?

Phil: No.

Dan: How dare you.

Phil: Dan loves it though. He's a bit of a…

Dan: I'm just a yeasty kind of guy.

Interviewer: Yeah. It's kind of up there with Marmite, isn't it?

Phil: It is, but I only eat sweet things, so I couldn't handle it. But Dan was eating his second portion of toast this morning. He loved it.

Interviewer: Yeah, yeah. It's good for you.

Phil: And last time we were in Adelaide, we did a vlog where we explored the town, didn't we? We got some Tim Tams. We did a Tim Tam slam.

Interviewer: Fun!

Dan: Yeah, the national sport.

Interviewer: The national sport, sucking coffee through a Tim Tam.

Dan: Hell yeah.

Phil: I can get down with that.

Interviewer: Yeah yeah. It's a lot of fun to do. You realise that our Premier is the one who started the ball rolling with the social media ban for under 16-year-olds? You're lucky that you're here now at this stage of your career rather than at the beginning of your career because there's a lot of young people who have grown with you who will be able to come and see your show.

Dan: Yeah, absolutely.

Interviewer: Are you relying on them sort of moving forward with you?

Dan: People have been with us for a long time and people tell us some things and it's very disturbing.

Phil: Yeah, we've had some people meet us that are like, I watched you 10 years ago, I'm still watching you now. I've got a whole child now and it's like, what is happening? (Interviewer laughs) Time isn’t real.

Interviewer: It's kind of a historic moment. You're probably the first English lads to have linked in to YouTube and the internet and gone off the way that you have.

Dan: No, we were, well, we come from an early generation. Phil has been doing it so long that you couldn't even make a career off YouTube yet. There was no monetisation. He was just doing it out of boredom. That's how terrifying it is.

Phil: I'm a YouTube dinosaur, so yeah, I think definitely I was one of the first ones to do it. And it's crazy that we're still doing it now, 15 years later.

Interviewer: It's basically become a career for you, hasn't it?

Dan: Absolutely. And none of it was planned. It's been a constant, you know, runaway train since day one. And the emergency brake’s gone off a long time ago.

Interviewer: What kind of experiences are you getting to have in your downtime while you're in Australia this time around?

Dan: Well, I wanted to go to the beach and then Phil said there's a high chance we're going to get eaten by a shark. And I was like, a high chance? I don't know about that. And then we asked a guy and he was like, oh, no, they're out there. I see them every week, so...

Phil: I'm hoping to look into the eyes of a wombat and have an emotional connection.

Dan: A deep spiritual moment, ok.

Phil: My favourite animal.

Interviewer: A wombat?

Phil: Yeah, I love a wombat.

Dan: Underrated.

Interviewer: Do you like the hairy-nosed wombat or just the plain old brown one?

Phil: I'm not sure of the difference. Maybe I need to find that out. Maybe that's going to be my quest in Adelaide.

Dan: You need to meet both and make a decision.

Phil: Yeah I will.

Interviewer: Yeah, if you come face-to-face or nose-to-nose even with a hairy-nosed wombat, he's more likely to roll over and let you cuddle his tummy. The other ones have got a wet nose -

Phil: Okay, good to know.

Interviewer: -and they're a little bit more aggressive.

Phil: Okay.

Dan: Sounds like me.

(Interviewer laughs)

Interviewer: Have the audiences been laughing at all the right spots so far?

Dan: Definitely. And they've been laughing at all the inappropriate spots where they're not supposed to as well. So we'll take it. You either have an audience that laughs all the time, even at inappropriate moments, or a quiet one. And I don't want a quiet one.

Phil: Also, the good thing about our show is we try to give everyone a recap of everything that's happened in the last 15 years. So if you're like, oh, I used to watch Dan and Phil a while ago, you can still come along and you're going to get right up to speed.

Dan: We know that people are dragging their husbands, their mothers, their older sisters to the show. And these people are like, what the heck is going on? So don't worry, we covered the base.

Interviewer: Sounds pretty darn good to me. I hope you have a fantastic time in Adelaide and you continue to enjoy yourselves.

Dan: Thank you.

Interviewer: Ride the wave. Don't worry about sharks.

Phil: Excellent. Well, yeah, we're looking forward to it. Thanks. Nice to speak to you.

Interviewer: You too. Cheers, lads. Dan and Phil.

Phil: Cheers!

Dan: Bye.

Interviewer: They'll be at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre next Monday coming on the 16th. So if you are keen to see them do their thing live on stage, go and join the masses that have already bought their tickets. Get in while you can.

@dnp-described

[ron456]

AHHHHH- IM SO SICK OF THE BS I SWEAR-

FIRST OF ALL-

He doesn't "act naturally" or "normal" because HE'S AUTISTIC-

Will Roland portrays him as AUTISTIC so he's gonna act AUTISTIC-

ALSOOOO- IT'S BROADWAY, BABE- THEY NEED TO BE OVERDRAMATIC AND VERY EXPRESSIVE OTHERWISE THE PREFORMANCE DOESN'T CARRY THROUGH THE WHOLE THEATRE-

AND ANOTHER THING- Jeremy is supposed to be a "loser"-

he gets bullied and is misunderstood by his peers because he is, well, NOT CHILL-

HE'S "CHALANT" AS HELL-

He gets bullied because he cares about things too much, he's anxious, he's loud-

And in regards to the "can't hold a note for too long"- have you heard Loser, Geek, Whatever? Or More Than Survive? Or Two Player Game??? Song where he holds notes for quite a long time- ALSO- to say that Will Roland can't reach the same notes as Will Connolly is just... not true.

And one of the reasons I think some people think Will Roland is "a worse singer" is because, sometimes, stylistically, Will Roland will use a sort of falsetto/head voice (which I LOVE BTW AND IM SICK OF PEOPLE CALLING OTHER PEOPLE BAD SINGERS BECAUSE THEY USE HEAD VOICE- IT'S BEAUTIFUL, IMPRESSIVE, AND REQUIRES GOOD BREATH CONTROL TO MAKE IT NOT SOUND CRAPPY AND WILL ROLAND DOES IT AMAZINGLY) like when he says "hero" and "Rob Dinero" (idk if that's how you spell it 😭) in More Than Survive.

It's not that he's a bad singer, he is taking the brunt of his voice during those parts and also, given that it's this little solo/soliloquy moment for Jeremy, I think that Will Roland's choice to use a light head voice there is perfectly well-placed. It feels kinda personal, I guess. And I love it <3

Not to say that Will Connolly's way of singing it isn't also great. It's awesome! But like, guys, we can't keep getting pissed when a new actor in a show doesn't have the exact same singing voice as the original 😭 That's just silly, guys. 😭

(LIKE WHEN PEOPLE GOT PISSED AT ELIZABETH TEETER'S LYDIA FOR SOUNDING TOO MUSICAL THEATRE-Y?? LIKE. HUH?!? GUYS, IT'S BROADWAY- WHAT DO YOU MEANNN??? Sorry, I have feelings- Also, Shoutout to Elizabeth Teeter, btw, cuz' she slayed <3)

Anywaysss- back to Will Roland's voice- he is very much capable of hitting the notes that Will Conolly hits- if not higher (IT'S NOT A COMPETION THO, GUYS- PLS DONT COME FOR ME). For example, the acoustic version of Loser, Geek, Whatever on Spotify which, I believe, is a key higher than usual!! This man can belt some high notes when the situation calls for it! And also, (these are not really bmc related but whatever) during the harmony or whatever at the end of "Sincerely, Me", that is none other than WiLL RoLaND (!!!) hitting that high E (I'm pretty sure it's an E. I hope it's an E. But regardless, it's still a SUPER HIGH NOTE) at the end! And in "Amphibian" on Joe Iconis' album titled, well, "Album", Will Roland hits some insanely high notes!!! ( EVEN IF THEY ARE HEAD VOICE. I REPEAT, HEAD VOICE DOES NOT MEAN BAD SINGER!!)

Also, as a little additional statement to my "Jeremy is autistic/ autistic-coded so Will Roland played him as autistic"; this is not to say that Will Conolly didn't add some "autistic flare", if you will, to Jeremy. I mean, just yesterday I was freaking out with my friend about a gif of Will Conolly's Jeremy doing the autistic flappy hands :))). And I think that he was a good baseline for other Jeremy's to build off of!

Also, I feel like the people that are saying that Will Roland's portrayal of autism/neurodiversity is "ableist" or "incorrect" or "too dramatic" are sorta failing to understand/acknowledge that autism/neurodiversity is a spectrum. Not every person with autism or another kind of Neurodiversity is gonna act the same. And I think that's something really beautiful that we should all cherish. It is GREAT that we are all different but also, in many ways, the same!

And to see myself and my uncontrolled speaking voice and weird noises and such represented by Will Roland on stage is such a beautiful thing that I think 'ought to be cherished.

[writingsfromhome]

Things to Learn II

A/N: I kind of love writing these characters? tsm for the love on the original I’m glad I got to dive back into their story again. I’m starting a taglist so if you’d like to be on it give me a shout :)

Part 1 / 2 / 3 /

————————————————————

Harry rushes out of the toilets so he doesn’t miss the opening scene and nearly crashes into someone standing around the corner.

“Sorry!” He says as he tries to rush on by.

“Harry!?” The person calls his name.

He stops in his tracks and takes a look at who he just bumped into. And of course, it would be her.

“YN,” he swallows the lump forming in his throat. “Hi-uh what are you doing here?”

“Watching a movie?” She raises a brow. Still the same attitude as before.

“Oh! Right. Yeah. Me too-“

“Which movie are you here for?”

“The Planet of the Apes reruns,” Harry points to the door he so badly wants to walk through. As much as he wanted to stand here and talk to YN, have her attention all to himself, he wanted to watch the movie he came here for more.

“Well I’m here for that new romcom but Raina ditched me to go to that riverbank bonfire bullshit everyone’s talking about. But I hate smelling like campfire afterwards plus I already bought popcorn-“

“Didn’t that movie start 15 minutes ago?” Harry notices she’s standing in front of the poster. Why was she hovering outside?

“Well yeah because I’m wondering if I should be the loser inside watching a romcom by herself.”

Harry doesn’t know if he should be offended—he regularly watched movies by himself during the summer when he had nothing else to do. But then he realizes YN and her opinions weren’t something he took offence to ever since he put down his intellectually superior flag.

“Well I’m here with Caleb if you want to-“

“Bloody hell I was waiting for you to get the hint,” she brushes past Harry and he trails behind, confused.

“You wanted to watch Planet of the Apes?”

“No! I just didn’t want to watch a movie by myself. And you were supposed to invite me.”

“Oh,” these were the social rules Harry often missed. It was sort of nice having YN spell it out for him. “You could have just said-“

“Shh,” she shushes him as they enter the theatre.

Harry was pleased at the way Caleb’s eyes bugged out of his head at the sight of YN.

“I thought you were going to the toilet?” He whispers loudly.

“I was but she-“ Harry cuts off as someone in front turns around with a dirty look. The movie hadn’t even started.

YN sits beside Harry and begins snacking on her popcorn. She hogs the armrest and he lets her, and when she pulls out her sweets and offers it to Harry and his friend they end up swapping most of their snacks. Despite being distracted at first he has a really fun time with the two of them.

Outside in the lobby after the movie is done, YN hesitates after throwing out her trash. It looks like she was wondering if she should stick around or not.

“Thanks,” she finally tells Harry. “Let’s not do this again though.”

“You joined us,” Harry reminds her. She eyes both him and Caleb.

“Yeah, exactly?” She says with a hand on her hip.

“I’m j’saying we weren’t the ones ditched here,” Harry says before he could stop himself. Her pleasant expression falls and Harry can see Caleb concentrate on something far away. Coward.

“Firstly I was invited to join the party but like I said I don’t like smelling like campfire. Secondly, just cuz I told you I was ditched doesn’t make you-“

“Um, I gotta go.” Caleb pipes in from behind. Both Harry and YN turn to him and he almost shrinks. “My ride is here um…”

“See ya later,” Harry cups his hand and Caleb bolts out faster than a cat seeing a dog.

“You were saying?” Harry turns back to YN.

“Look,” she points to the other theatre, the one she’d been standing in front of when Harry bumped into her. “The next showing starts in a bit.”

Harry stares, trying to figure out what she was asking.

“We could watch it?”

“I thought we shouldn’t do this again?”

“Shut up,” she starts walking away.

“Isn’t this illegal?” Harry catches up to her. “I don’t even want to watch this movie.”

“Actually you do,” she grabs his arm and pulls him up the stairs even though he’s following her anyway. Harry tries not to focus on the exact part of his arm she’s touching but it feels warmer than usual. “And secondly nobody is going to kick us out. It doesn’t even matter, do something illegal once in a while.”

Harry follows along with her and they end up having a lot more fun at the second movie. He actually finds it funny and it reminds him of watching these during the holidays with his sister and mum. YN leans her head on his shoulder during an emotional scene and Harry feels like he’s made of clay until she takes it off and laughs at the next scene.

“You had fun, admit it!” YN says as they walk out of the theatre. It was close to midnight now and Harry was planning on walking home.

“Maybe!” Harry doesn’t.

“Liar,” she skips ahead of him. “Secretly you thought my romcom was a lot cooler than your Ape movie.”

“Planet of the Apes, and you enjoyed that one.”

“I’m not denying it,” she shrugs. “C’mon I know you’ve got a sister don’t you watch romcoms with her?”

Harry seems disturbed by the idea, “Not that sort. We watch holiday ones during Christmas but-“

“Oh my god like the Holiday?”

“Yeah I’ve seen that a billion times. And there’s one with Keira Knightley-“

“Oh I bet there is,” she nudges him and Harry blushes. “She does seem your type.”

“Yeah and you probably love Jude Law in The Holiday.”

“Well yeah he’s alright,” she pouts her mouth and doesn’t finish her sentence.

“No way,” Harry laughs. “It’s not Jude Law.”

“You know who’s peng? Tom Hardy. There’s a man I’d watch in a romcom over and over.”

“What?” Harry didn’t know who that was but now he was curious.

“Yeah. You should look him up. Anyway, my ride’s gonna be here any minute so I’m staying here.”

“Oh. Yeah right.” Harry thought they were walking home together but she stays near the closest bus shelter. “Well bye.”

“Bye,” she waves him off.

He doesn’t think he’d see her again that summer. But the next morning she sends him a text saying it was fun and he should come over some time to broaden his romcom education. He thinks she’s joking but the following Tuesday she shows up at his house with DVDs and Percys and although Harry’s mum is surprised to see a girl friend at the house, she orders them pizza and his family gives him the den all to themselves.

After watching two movies back to back and feeling sick from all the junk they’ve consumed they lay on the floor. As evening falls through the wispy curtains of his front window Harry asks YN about her summer and uni. She’s cagey and likes to turn questions around on him but it’s nice talking to her like that with most of her guard down. It almost feels like they’re friends.

***

YN shows up at Harry’s house after dinner. His butt is glued down on his sofa ready to settle into a night of playing video games but the ringing at the door interrupts him.

“Harry!” His sister calls out from somewhere. He was closest to the door and on his way there he peeks through the curtains of the den to see a familiar head of hair. In a cap.

“Hey!” She walks right in.

“Hey…” Harry looks at her get-up: a tanktop and gauzy skirt paired with the trainers she always wore.

“Oh YN,” Harry’s mum pokes her head down from the staircase. “You haven’t been around in a while how are things?”

“Hi Mrs. Styles.” YN was always the perfect angel in front of his parents but his mum was right, it had been a couple weeks since she came by. “I’m good! I’ve been working a few shifts at the shop I do summers at. I had the day off I’m trying to convince Harry to come out with me.”

She was, Harry thought. And she had a summer job?

He’s reminded that no matter how much closer they got, she was always somewhat of a mystery.

“Oh where are you heading out?” Harry’s mum walks down a few steps and sits down.

“There’s a get-together of some of our school friends. Harry never shows up to these things so-“

“Harry,” his mum joins in. “You should go!”

“I never even said no, jeez!” Harry grows flustered.

“But he was totally going to,” YN says to his mum. She laughs and Harry feels peer-pressured.

“Fine! I’ll go.”

“Well be safe,” his mum gets back up. “Make good decisions.”

Harry glares at YN when his mum clears the area and she smiles sweetly back at him.

“Oops.”

“For the record I don’t want to go.”

“Exactly,” she smiles. “Now where’s your room we need to put you in something better than that.”

He was in very comfortable sweatpants and a tee. By the time he was leaving he was in was a short sleeved button-up layered over the same tee and shorts he didn’t even know he owned. She’d forced him to take his glasses off and wear contacts then ruffled his hear with gel and she’d been so close every one of Harry’s senses had been hyper-tuned to her. YN had been oblivious.

“I can’t find my phone,” Harry pats his pockets down as they go downstairs.

“Just leave without it! We’re gonna be late!”

“Can you just call it?” Harry’s halfway up the steps. “I can’t leave without it.”

YN rolls her eyes and calls it. It rings from the den and she walks towards it.

“Seriously?” She walks back out. “You never changed my name?”

Future Prime Minister YN with a heart. It had stayed the same since their group project.

“I guess not,” Harry suddenly feels even more self conscious.

“You can keep the heart,” she goes into his contacts after holding his phone up to his face.

“Hey I never said you could go in!”

“Shush!” She smirks as she updates her name. “There.”

“You don’t want to change the photo?” Harry asks and sighs at her new name: HRH 💖

“No time. Let’s go!” She pushes him out the door.

“I’m going I’m going!” Harry closes the door behind him and they set off down the road.

“You’re so lucky your mum’s so chill,” YN says as they walk.

“Where are we going?” Harry asks.

“My mum thinks I’m at Raina’s watching movies or some shite. Your mum actually like, encouraged you to go out. She didn’t even give you a curfew.”

“Well I never do this,” Harry replies. “What is this anyway.”

“Another bonfire-“

“Does Raina do those like every week?” Harry remembered something about this that night they bumped into each other at the cinema.

“No,” YN says, offended that he would criticize her friend in any way. “The guy she’s seeing right now knows a guy. They do them like a couple times a month. If they did it every week don’t you think someone would catch on?”

Harry shrugs.

“Anyway, you have a decent closet why do you always dress so…boring?”

“I don’t dress boring,” Harry shoves his hand into his pockets. “I’m just comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable,” she points out.

Harry eyes her outfit again, she looked nice and her legs looked particularly nice in the skirt. Harry looks up in the silence he’d just created to find YN staring at him with a raised brow.

“Had a good look?” She punches his arm.

“Ow,” Harry rubs his arm but he deserved it. He’d been oggling. But ever since she’d gotten into his face to run her gelled fingers through his hair, and the cloud of her shampoo or perfume whatever it was closed in around him he’s having a hard time not glancing at her every opportunity.

“Have you got anyone you’re seeing?” Harry asks.

“Nope,” she pops her p. “With uni starting I didn’t really want to let a guy distract me and fuck with my feelings.”

“Wow,” it slips out of Harry’s mouth.

“What?” She narrows her eyes. “And we’re going right here.”

They turn the corner and she asks Harry again what his reaction meant.

“Nothing. I’m just surprised you’re not having a summer fling or something.”

“God Harry, do you think I just date boys to get off or something? I’ve barely had a boyfriend-“

She cuts herself off.

“What?” Harry missed what happened.

“Nothing.”

“Aw c’mon you can’t say ‘nothing’ now,” Harry pushes. After knowing YN this long, she was still scary, but he’d learned where and how to poke at her to get more answers without getting his head bitten off. “You’ve dated plenty of guys.”

“For someone with his nose in a book all the time you claim to know a lot about who I’m dating.”

“It’s hard not to miss what everyone’s talking about.”

“So you believe all the rumours? In that case it’s probably true you cried your first time.”

“What?!” Harry flushes. “Who said that?”

“But rumours are true right?”

“Fine. You just always had one of the football blokes nearby I just-“

“So you just thought I dated the whole team?”

Fuck, Harry realizes he’d screwed up when she starts to speed walk away. He’d spoken before thinking about what it might sound like from her end.

She starts to walk ahead and Harry fastens his pace to catch up. He reaches out and clasps her shoulder. “YN wait I’m sorry. I didn’t think-“

“Whatever,” she brushes his hand off.

He felt awful. He tries again, grabbing her arm this time and she comes to a stop.

“I’m sorry!” He says again. “Just forget I said anything.”

He’s surprised to see her teary eyes when she turns to him.

“What?” She snaps. “Never seen a girl cry before?”

“No I just—I didn’t mean to make you cry-“

“Oh you didn’t make my cry don’t worry,” she huffs. “I just hate how everyone in school always judges me based on their own fucking insecurities.”

Harry pauses, it was true. And he knew YN was only as cutting as she was so she could be taken seriously—so nobody would walk all over her just because she was a girl. He shouldn’t have made that comment, he knew that. He knew better but apparently he still had things to learn.

“I shouldn’t have judged you like that,” Harry mumbles. “I knew better.”

Her mouth parts slightly, YN wasn’t expecting Harry to say a combination of words that actually sounded better than an apology. She forgives him, but she doesn’t let him know.

“Well…you can make it up to me.” YN threads her arm through Harry’s. At first he doesn’t quite know what to do—despite their budding friendship YN rarely showed any affection or even friendliness in public. This was different.

“How? That sounds a bit sinister.”

“You’re going to get drunk with me. I’ve never seen you drunk before, and I want to be able to have embarrassing pictures of you to use next time you make me upset.”

“No way!” Harry unthreads his hand, regretting the decision a little.

“So you’re just gonna go to a party and watch everyone else drink? Your mum would be disappointed!”

“Trust me my mum doesn’t want me to get drunk,” Harry corrects her. “And I don’t drink for a reason. It really doesn’t take much to get tipsy.”

“Really?” YN eyes him. “But you’re tall.”

Harry shrugs, suddenly his heart thuds in his chest as he catches sight of the smoke of the bonfire. This was real—he was actually going to a class party with YN as his company. He had no friends there. This wasn’t his scene. What was he thinking?

“Have we got to do-“

“We’re going,” YN takes his hand and drags it the rest of the way. “We’re going to uni next year and you’re not going to be a party virgin.”

“I’ve been to parties!”

“What? D&D parties?” YN snorts. “You’re going to an outdoor party with drinks and getting drunk. I want you to let loose. Show everyone Harry the nerd is kind of funny?”

“Kind of?” Harry tugs her hand back. “You snorted at my jokes a couple weeks ago.”

YN looks back at him and Harry’s breath is momentarily caught in his throat. The light of the bonfire reflects in her eyes that crinkle at the corners as she looks at him. She has an amused smile fixed on her face. She’s relaxed completely, unguarded.

He wanted more of that, he realizes.

“Oi it’s about time!” Someone notices YN and waves her down. Harry’s forced to follow. “Brought a date did you?”

“Not my date,” YN rolls her eyes.

The group, amongst whom most had been in a lot of his classes, simply stare at him expecting a name or something. Blimey, he realizes nobody recognized him. YN did a good job with her makeover.

“Good,” one particular bloke—tall with a shaggy overgrown mop of hair peels away from the group and slides his arm around YN. She distances herself in one languid move and continues on.

“Are you lot alright?” YN asks. “It’s Harry?”

“Hey Harry,” a few of them say with a removed friendliness. They still couldn’t place him. Harry would have been offended if this wasn’t the last summer he would see them all.

“Okay?” YN turns to Harry with her eyebrow raised and a joke in her eyes like they were on the ins of something together. It warms Harry’s chest with a gentle ease.

“Harry,” shaggy-hair says. “How d’you two know each other?”

“I’m gonna show Har to the drinks,” YN continues ignoring the guy. Harry’s dying to know who that is. “Anyone seen Raina?”

“She was over there a little while ago,” someone motions towards the fire.

This satisfies YN enough. She turns, “Drinks

“Yeah,” Harry feels lighter being here knowing nobody really recognized him. Like he could be anyone. Maybe he was getting a taste of what being at uni would feel like. He liked it.

He asks YN who that guy was when they get enough distance.

“Oh him? We went out a few times, hooked up at a couple parties. He seems to think that means I want him around at any given moment but he’s a bit clingy.”

A bit was an understatement but Harry stays quiet.

“He looks old.”

She laughs, “Yeah maybe cause he’s 21?”

“What’s he doing with a bunch of teens?” Harry asks, puzzled.

“Oh Har,” YN pats his shoulder and laughs. “Let’s get you a drink.”

“Just one drink,” Harry insists.

But after downing the disgustingly hoppy beer YN hands him Harry starts to feel even better being here. Nobody recognizes him, he has YN keeping him company (after she goes to Raina for a bit and comes back grumbling about her new boyfriend), and the energy at the party starts to really take off as someone turns on a playlist and people really start to mingle.

“So you excited about uni?” YN asks. They’re both sitting on a large rock. Yn has her knees tucked into her and her cheek rests on top. She seemed down after coming back from Raina.

“Yeah!” Harry says. “Finally get some bloody freedom, away from this place.”

“This place?” She slides her cheek across her knees to look at him. She looks beautiful, Harry thinks, before sliding his eyes away. It was still hard for him to maintain eye contact with her despite all the evenings they spent together.

“School. These people.”

“Hey they didn’t even recognize you today,” she chuckles. “I did a good job.”

She reached out and brushes one of his curls. Harry inadvertently leans in closer to her.

“I look the exact same,” Harry scoffs.

“No without those big ass glasses you actually look different.”

“Call me Clark Kent then.”

“Clark Kent.”

Harry looks at YN with an are-you-serious expression and she laughs.

“I didn’t actually mean to call me Clark-“

“I know,” she says softly. “I’m trying to annoy you.”

“That’s not hard to do.”

“Hey!” She punches him lightly. “That’s mean. You’re mean when you’re drinking.”

“No I’m not,” was he? He was just being himself here.

“No…you’re not,” she agrees. “But you’re honest. Anyway, you’re living on campus right? That’s lucky.”

“Why don’t you?” Harry asks.

“I can’t,” YN turns her face away again. “I’ve got to stay at home. Things are…complicated. So I’ve just got to commute.”

“Do you think we’ll hang out at uni?” Harry asks and then flushes as he realizes he said it out loud.

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t we?”

Harry shrugs. “We don’t exactly run in the same circles.”

“Look at us now,” she leans into him, nudging his shoulder, and the warmth of her pressed into him is a balm to his melancholy. “We’re not gonna have the same labels in uni. Nobody knows us. We just get to be ourselves.”

“I hope so.” Harry says. “Should I get another drink?”

“Really?” YN sits up. “You want another?”

“Yeah!” Harry suddenly feels energized. “Why fucking not?!”

“Alright!” She hops off and he follows. “You also swear a lot more when you drink. It’s funny.”

“Sorry,” Harry apologizes immediately.

“Don’t be, I like it.” She says and Harry’s heart skips a beat. He floats the rest of the way to the drinks.

He downs half of another beer before he’s recruited to do a keg stand. He’s pretty sure it’s YN’s pretty-boy that jostles him into that crowd. He’d never done one before and YN tries to pull him away but tipsy and brave he gets instructions and allows two strangers to hold him up while he drinks what feels like the equivalent to the Thames.

The boys standing around cheer him on when he stands back up with the longest time out of everyone tonight. If he was anything, Harry was a winner. And he feels powerful: he’s actually seen and celebrated tonight for doing something as stupid as a keg stand. Why didn’t he do this more in school?

“Make way for the goat!” One of the guys shouts.

“You’re all wankers!” Harry shouts. “I just owned you all!”

“Harry,” YN’s hand clasps his and while he shouts celebrations back to the guys he’s dragged away by her.

“It’s Harry right?” A girl he’s never seen before stops YN on her trek to get him far away from the drinks. “I’m Marva.”

“Marva!” Harry pulls his hand from YN and shakes Marva’s. “Nice to meet you…Mara.”

“Yeah nice to meet you,” she smiles. “You’ve got really nice eyes.”

“Thank you Mara. You have really nice teeth.”

“Fucking hell,” YN mutters then louder she says, “Sorry Marva we gotta go. Maybe you can catch up with-“

“Okay I just wanna say that was sick what you did,” Marva points to the keg.

“I’m king of the keg,” Harry says and YN mumbles something to the side but Harry’s too swept in winning, in getting attention from this beautiful girl, to hear.

“Yeah, uhm could I get your number?”

“Uh,” Harry tries to remember his number but it doesn’t come to him. He should remember his number. Why isn’t it coming to him?

“Or I could give you mine?” She says after Harry stands there silently for an uncomfortable minute.

“Yeah,” Harry hands his phone over but his mind keep trying to push through the slosh to remember his number. Soon enough he’s walking away with YN again. “Why is my number? It’s a set of numbers…”

He’s mumbling, an anxious feeling creeping up his chest as he tries to remember.

“Hey,” YN finally allows him to stop. She senses the panic rising in him and lays a hand on his chest. The buzzing stops immediately. “Harry look at me.”

Harry looks down at YN, she was one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen. He wishes he could hold her face for eternity. He would live in peace.

“Hello?” She snaps her fingers. “You’re not blinking are you alright?”

“Probably not!” Harry laughs. “I just got hit on by a gorgeous girl did you see that?”

“Yes,” she rolls her eyes. “She was impressed by your ability to drink upside down. What a catch.”

“I am a catch,” Harry motions to the water behind them. “I’m a fish in the sea.”

“Oh my god,” YN laughs. “You’re ridiculous is what you are. That’s a river I thought you were smart.”

“I’m cool now.”

She brushes his hair again, “give a nerd a new hair style,” she drags her hands over his eyes, “put him in contacts,” she continues tracing her hand down his face to his chest, “put him in new clothes-“

She cuts herself off when Harry grasps her hand against his chest. He was sure she could feel his heart racing inside.

They stare silently at each other, the darkness cushioning them on either side until it feels like they’re the only two beings in the night. Like they’re drifting in the dark, tethered only by hands and gazes.

Harry tilts forward, YN doesn’t move back. So he closes the distance and presses his lips to hers, they’re as soft as he imagined. They’re the best lips he’s ever kissed.

Maybe he imagines it, maybe it was a drunk fantasy, but for a brief second she presses her lips against his; she closes her eyes and kisses him back.

The next second, she’s shoving him backwards and scrambling away. Her look of shock and betrayal cuts right through the fog in his brain.

“What the fuck?” She shouts. “Did-did you just fucking kiss me?”

“I’m sorry!” Harry feels his heart in his throat, why did he think she would ever want to kiss him? She was YN, he was just Harry. “I don’t-I’m not I-“

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She wipes the back of her hand against her mouth, adding assault to injury. “Why would you do that?!”

“YN,” Harry stumbles forward but she peddles backward. It’s another punch added, almost deflating him entirely. “I didn’t mean—I’m drunk I’m sorry-“

“Being drunk isn’t a fucking excuse,” she spits.

“I know! I’m sorry!”

“Goddamnit! You’re just like every other asshole of a guy. I thought we were friends! But of course you get drunk and try to kiss me-“

“It’s not like that!” Harry tries to tell her. He was just braver drunk but he’s been in love with her a long time. After hanging out this whole summer he just thought they had a moment there. He read the signs wrong; apparently a bookworm could read wrong.

Maybe he would never be good at this whole people thing.

“Then what?” YN seethes. “Then why the hell—why did you try to kiss me Harry? You don’t even like me why would you kiss me?!”

“I…” he doesn’t know what to say. Of course he liked her. He more than liked her; YN changed his life and he’s starting to like who she makes him be.

But nothing will make this situation better. And the worst part is he feels her slip away, right through his fingers. It’s like one of those jelly toys from when he was a kid; the harder he gripped the easier it slipped away.

“Get fucked Harry,” YN swears. She turns and leaves. She leaves him and he doesn’t think she’ll ever come back.

When the rush of adrenaline subsides Harry empties the contents of his stomach. With his head swimming he picks himself up and finds his way out. With a final glance at the party he’d just felt king of, he spots YN tucked into the body of shaggy-hair and his stomach turns. Why did he ever think she’d want him? Girls like her didn’t end up with guys like him. Why did he ever come to this stupid party in the first place and get drunk? This wasn’t him. Uni or not, maybe he was never meant to change all that much.

***

Harry looks around his half of the dorm he’s just finished putting together with a proud smile. At last the day had come, he had successfully escaped the shackles of school and all its taunting and made it to the uni of his choice. Despite only being a 1.5 hour train ride from home Harry chose to get the full uni experience and live on campus. His life was going to change, he could feel it.

That is, until his roommate walked in.

Messy hair, backwards baseball cap, crewneck and baggy jeans and massive headphones on. Harry already types him in his mind—how the hell did the dorm board pair the two of them together?

“Aw marra,” he holds his hand out sideways and Harry clasps his hand and lets his body gets tugged into his roommate’s bony shoulder. “Harry right?”

“Yeah,” Harry tries to find his balance again. “Roderick?”

“Just Rod yeah,” Roderick throw his duffel bag onto the bed and points behind him. “Give me a hand with the other bags?”

Harry wasn’t much for lifting heavy things but he didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot with someone he’d be living with the next year. So he goes.

“When did you get here?” He asks.

“Last night,” Harry wanted to get in before everyone else and avoid the crowds of people. He knew it would be a good way to meet others and make friends—his sister told him the first week was when you made most of them, but he did what we wanted.

Rod barely hears him as they get the last of his bags. “It was packed to shite trying to get in here. Where’d you come in from?”

“London,” Harry answers.

“And you’re staying here? On campus?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to do the commute everyday. Felt like a waste of time.”

“Yeah that’d be crazy.” His roommate agrees.

“What about you?” Harry remembers to ask.

“Sunlun,” he replies. Harry hadn’t heard of it, and reminds himself to look it up later. “I was right ready to lose it driving here. My mam drove me-“

“Oh is she around?” Harry asks.

“No,” Rod laughs. “I’m not starting school trailing after her. But I promised her I’d have a meal with her after moving my—hey you should come!”

Harry has a hard time keeping up with Roderick, despite having longer legs than him he walks as fast as he talks and he talks with an accent that takes a minute to filter through for understanding.

“I couldn’t-“

“No you’re coming,” Rod claps Harry on the back. “She would love seeing that my roommate’s someone like you.”

Someone like you, what did that mean? But on some level Harry knows just by comparing Roderick’s outfit and Harry’s slacks and spotless crewneck.

Harry has no choice but he gets a free meal out of it. Roderick’s mum is sweet and by the end of the meal he understands his roommate a lot better, knows everything about where he’s from—Sunderland, and is invited to “drop by for tea” anytime he’s up north.

Roderick invites Harry to a get-together for first years happening somewhere off campus but Harry feels sensed out and tells him he was calling it a night. Rod looks disappointed but leaves without him. Harry almost feels disappointed in himself. He was supposed to have a different life being in uni, but he didn’t want to make old mistakes and try to be someone he wasn’t.

***

Freshers week is both invigorating and exhausting for Harry as he tries to navigate all of the personalities and social groups without falling back into his usual ways. He attends the talks and the tours, one in which he meets Mikey who was also planning on joining debate club. Harry goes to mixers and breaks so much ice he’s sure he could get a part time job as an ice sculptor.

Harry also attends the workshops and he meets a few more friends there, but mostly when he signs up for clubs he’s interested and goes to their mixers he finds people he clicks with very easily. He doesn’t spot Rod once or anyone else he would have known from school.

On Thursday Harry heads to Newsroom Society Club which was a fancy title for the uni’s reporting club. He has a few new friends he’s made, Florence from one of the workshops and Gabriel who lived in the same hall as Harry as well as Mikey. They were all interested in being part of reporting—the newspaper or the podcast.

Harry stumbles into a projector when he spots her.

“You alright?” Gabriel grabs Harry’s jacket to hold him steady. All eyes are on him as the slideshow on the wall tips off balance and he’s bright as a tomato.

“Yeah I didn’t see that there,” Harry lies.

“Kinda hard to miss,” YN pipes in from where she stands.

Looking at her reminds Harry of the summer. It felt like a dream looking back on it, how they became friends and then quickly drifted off after he stupidly misread her cues and tried to kiss her. Although it was one of the few times he had gotten drunk and he was out of his depth when it happened. But YN had avoided him after that. He knew they were going to the same school but he didn’t think he’d see her this early on.

Harry’s new friends eye YN, assuming she was being rude just because. But when Harry acknowledges her they settles down.

“YN. Hi.” Harry waves awkwardly.

“Harry,” she says coolly.

“You’re here for the paper?”

“The show actually,” YN nods. The girl she’s talking to touches her arm and motions she was heading elsewhere.

“Oh me too,” Florence pipes in. “I’m Florence by the way.”

“I’m Mikey,” his other friend says as if Flo opened a gateway to YN. “I’m also interested in it. Not sure if I’m staying though.”

YN eyes his friends and returns her gaze to Harry. “Neat. I’m YN.”

“You two know each other?” Mikey asks.

“Yeah,” Harry says as YN says “Unfortunately.”

There’s an awkward beat as the group tries to figure out if she’s joking it not. When her lips curl into a small smile and they take the cue to laugh. It amazed Harry how well YN could command a group. Even now.

“Are you going for any other clubs?” Flo continues asking YN.

“I was thinking tennis, I used to play.” YN says and Harry’s surprised to hear that. He’s reminded he didn’t know her much—he never really got to know her that well despite all the time together. She was a closed book on a lot of things. “How about you?”

“Yeah I’m thinking of joining the volunteer committee!”

“Yeah what do they do?” YN asks. “Obviously volunteering but like-“

She doesn’t need to correct herself any further as Flo launched into a onboarding speech about volunteer committee. And Harry’s mesmerized by YN as she listens to Flo attentively, it’s different to the way she interacted with him or Mikey or a lot of people. When she feels him staring her eyes flick up to meet his and then back to Flo. She does it again and he takes the hint, looking away.

He flushes remembering the summer, how things started so well and ended so terribly.

YN ends up sticking to their group as the club organizers gather everyone to do a small introduction of the Newsroom Society. When it ends and they’re left to mingle Harry’s friends ask him what they were going to do for lunch.

“I’m easy, we can go anywhere.”

“I wanted to catch the fencing match they have going on at 2,” Gabriel says. “I might stay behind-“

“Let’s just do the caf.” Harry decides.

Florence turns back to YN who’s with her friend again. “Hey we were gonna grab lunch in the caf would you want to join? Both of you?”

YN meets Harry’s eye and an awkward energy sizzles between the two. It happens so quickly.

“Soph?” YN asks her friend.

“Eh,” she shrugs. “Okay. I’m Sophie by the way…”

Introductions are made all over again and YN and Harry are left herding the crowd from behind at the end if it.

“Hi,” Harry says as they fall into step.

She eyes him first before responding, “Hi.”

Silence as the group ahead chatters away.

“How’ve you been?” Harry attempts small talk.

“Fine.” She replies without returning the question. Harry gets the hint and grits his teeth. It was frustrating knowing she had glued herself shut and it would require a tool he didn’t have to get her to open again.

At lunch she continues to gloss over anything he says and talking with everyone enthusiastically but him, making him feel like he was in secondary all over again.

“We should do this again,” Florence suggests. “You guys are fun.”

Harry thinks Flo just liked having girls to talk to since most of the friends she’d made so far had been Harry and his.

“Yeah,” Soph agrees. “Maybe we’ll all make the Newsroom Society. Flo I think I’ll come to the volunteer thing with you next week just text me when it is.”

Somehow Harry’s friends intermingle with YN’s and by the time classes actually starts he’s seen YN socially more often than he had in secondary.

“YN,” Harry catches her walking out of their international business course. He’d found they had two classes together despite deciding different majors.

She glances up at her name and upon seeing Harry continues walking.

“Hey YN,” he walks ahead enough to stop her.

“Hey. What?” She asks.

“Can we talk?”

She raises a brow.

“C’mon,” Harry turns and hopes she’ll follow. She does. He leads them to a seating area for students in the building’s courtyard. “We should talk.”

“About?”

“Us.” Harry fidgets. “Look, I know what I did last summer wasn’t right. And being drunk wasn’t an excuse. I…I misread the signs and I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to betray your trust like that and. Yeah. I’m really sorry. If we’re gonna hang out and be mates, it’s weird when you’re always mad at me.”

She stares at him for an uncomfortable period and Harry can’t hold eye contact the whole time.

“How many times did you practice saying that?” She asks with a straight expression.

He laughs, “A few times.”

Like the sun after a thunderstorm, her smile slowly brightens the rest of her face as it stretches over her face.

“For the record, don’t ever try to kiss me ever again.” YN lists on her fingers. “Secondly, there will never be signs between us as anything more than friends so just…don’t look for them. We’re just friends.”

“Got it,” Harry mock salutes.

“I’m not done,” she holds up three fingers. “Thirdly, it’s nice seeing you be less…secondary Harry.”

“What?”

“Y’know like, bookish awkward nerdy Harry. You’ve actually got friends, I saw you at a couple parties. It’s nice!”

“Oh,” Harry didn’t think YN thought about him at all. He thought he went back to being a nobody but she was still noticing things about him. Things he thought only he had picked up on.

She was right—he felt more himself the longer he was at uni. It wasn’t easy but he found it easier to make decisions about people and friends, emotions and conversations when the pressure to fit into a box fell away.

Of course, Harry still struggled connecting with his roommate. After declining his initial invite to a party Rod mostly kept to himself and sometimes Harry was asked to give him privacy a few hours some evenings. Harry usually obliged, wanting to still be friends with Roderick.

One of the parties YN saw him at must have been one Rod invited him to. It was the first time he’d really spoken to him since that first day. And Harry had gone to the party just to reduce the friction with Rod. It went over well, he’d even chatted up a girl.

“Anyway,” YN hitches her bag onto her shoulder. “My next class is much later in the day so I’m gonna find a place to crash until then.”

“When is it?”

“Like, 5?”

“Shit, you commuted for our 10 and have to stay that late?”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “It was the only way I could fit both classes into this semester.”

“D’you…” Harry reconsiders the rules she’d given him. He didn’t think this was breaking any. “D’you want to come go my dorm? You could…nap or something.”

Her face lights up, “Wait really?”

“Yeah?”

“Um yeah? If that’s alright if-“

“Yeah,” Harry’s pleased to be able to offer something that’s made her light up. “Yeah c’mon. My roommate should be out. My next class is at half past 1 though.”

“That’s enough time for a nap,” YN says as she falls into step beside him.

“You don’t have to leave.” Harry tells her. “You can stay while I’m in class.”

That’s how Harry finds himself walking out of his dorm quietly so as not to wake a sleeping YN. She had knocked out soon after getting into his sheets, and he’s thankful he’d just washed them over the weekend after accidentally spilling tea all over them.

He felt bad that she had to commute for nearly 2 hours and stay the whole day for an evening class. He gives her an open invitation to use his dorm as a hotel when she wanted. She’d corrected him it was more like a motel, and then said his bedsheets smelled surprisingly nice for a motel.

Harry has a smile for most of his walk to class.

Near the end of class his phone vibrates with a text.

Roderick: there’s a girl sleeping on your bed?

Shit, Harry didn’t think he’d be back before him.

Harry: that’s just YN, sorry hope you don’t mind.

R: nah I just wasn’t expecting it lol

H: she’s just crashing

R: she single?

H: what happened to the girl you were hooking up with last week?

Despite not talking a lot, Harry still had the lowdown on who Rod was hooking up with because of the revolving door of girls.

R: mate. That was last week.

Harry rushes back from class but to his surprise he finds YN sitting in bed braiding her hair while Rod leans against his desk explaining something about Sunderland.

“Oh hey Harry,” YN says when he walks in.

“Hey,” Harry tries not to sound too out of breath. “Uh I see you two’ve met.”

“Yeah. YN’s pretty cool, where’ve you been hiding her?”

“I’m not-“

“Ew,” YN cuts him off. “Do they not teach manners in Sunderland?”

Harry watches, for the first time since he’s met him, Roderick stammer and look uncertain.

“Anyway,” YN gets off the bed and adjusts her clothes. “Thanks for letting me crash.”

Harry watched Rod get a hold of himself and YN put her bag back together again. That was the privilege of being so beautiful, she could shame guys like Rod into behaving themselves.

“See you Friday?” YN tells Harry. They had a Newsroom Society meeting. Harry ended up making the cut for the paper along with Gabriel and Flo. YN had made it for the podcast and this week was when they first got assignments.

“Yeah,” Harry says. YN walks past him, squeezing him arm and walking out.

“Marra,” Rod blow the air out of his cheeks. “She’s….something. You should invite her to the party Friday if she’s on campus.”

“Yeah I’ll ask,” Harry says. Weird how the tables have turned, he thinks. Here he would be, inviting YN to a party.

***

Harry doesn’t get a chance to catch up with YN until after Newsroom. He asks her if she was doing anything afterwards.

“Nope,” she rubs her temple. “I have a Saturday shift to work so I was just gonna head home after this.”

“Oh.” Harry says. He forgot she worked. “I was gonna invite you to this party-“

“You?” She points to him and laugh. “You’re inviting me?”

“Erm yeah?”

“I love it.” She says seriously.

“Yeah,” a smile tugs at his lips. “I know. But if you’re busy-“

“Oh no. I’ll show up to a party you’re inviting me to, where is it?”

Harry gives her the place. She tells him one of her friends was trying to get here there too.

“Whatever, I’ll just suffer the consequences tomorrow. Although I’m not dressed for a party at all.”

Harry eyes her hoodie and jeans. Even he knew YN dressed up more for parties.

“Too bad you’re not a girl,” she sighs. “I could just borrow something from your closet.”

“How about the friend you mentioned?”

“She lives a town over so she commutes. Wait, let me see your closet maybe we can make something work.”

“Don’t you make fun of my closet?”

“No I make fun when you wear it. It might look hot on me.”

The idea of YN looking hot in his clothes forces the blood to rush to his head and he has to take a few deep breaths before trailing behind.

Rod’s nowhere in sight when they get to his dorm. Harry unloads his backpack and splays out on his bed, tired from the day and really not wanting to go to any parties.

“This could be cute,” YN unhooks a plain white tee from his closet and throws it on his bed. She picks up a sweater and a short-sleeved button up. She holds them up to her and instructs him to turn around while she tries it on.

Harry’s so tired that turned around he ends up falling asleep, half his body still dangling off the bed.

While uni was really fun for him, and getting to explore different sides of him and learn a whole lot, it was a constant rotation of something. Sometimes he wondered if he should drop a class or a club just to give himself some breathing room. Or sleeping room. But Harry wasn’t a quitter. Instead he was tired a lot of the time and felt like he was constantly catching up.

“Hello,” Harry’s woken by a vigorous shaking. YN peers down at him, lashes long and coated in mascara probably. Her lips are painted a deep pink and she’s put her hair down.

“How did you…” Harry blinks at her.

“I had some makeup in my bag, I just touched it up while you slept.” She sits down beside him. “Now what are you wearing and when are we leaving?”

“I’m just wearing this,” Harry motions to his jeans and hoodie. She raises a brow. “Wait what are you-“

He notices what she’s wearing. His white tee that hangs loose on him has been tightened into a single point on YN’s ribcage, baring her midriff. She’s kept her jeans on but somehow despite only swapping out one item of clothing she looks magnetic.

“Wow.”

“I know right,” she gets up to allow him the full picture even though he didn’t want to ogle any more. “I just went with one of your tees, used a hair tie to style it. I’ll wear my bomber on top. And you can change your hoodie at least. You’ll look like a slob in that, it’s not going to impress any girls.”

“What if I don’t want to impress any girls?”

“Don’t forget I caught you flirting with Sophie last week.” She warns him.

It was embarrassing, Soph had been talking through one of the articles they were assigned to think about for Newsroom and it had turned flirty when Sophie started teasing him. Harry had recently felt more confident in the girl department and he’d flirted back until YN had dropped into the conversation pretending to gag at Harry.

Harry wondered if Sophie would be at the party. He should have texted her to ask.

“Let’s not talk about that.”

“I would actually love to talk about that,” she grins. “But I do want to head out. So wear this and let’s go.”

She throws Harry a crewneck and taps her foot. When she doesn’t make a move to look away he changes in front of her and doesn’t meet her eye.

“You’ve got a tattoo?” YN sounds surprised as he gets his arms into the crewneck.

“Huh?” Harry realizes she’s staring at his ribcage. He forgot he had a tattoo, not often looking at himself naked in the mirror. “Oh yeah. Caleb and I got it for our 18th before we went to uni. He’s moved to Canada for uni so-“

“You’re full of surprises aren’t you.” YN says in a quieter voice than usual. Harry’s hands are still trapped in his sweater, halfway to his head, when she steps closer and traces her hand over the numbers. Her hands are cold and unexpected and he gasps.

“Sorry,” she looks up at him but he can barely look at her. She was touching his bare torso. “Was that cold?”

“Yeah,” Harry clears his throat.

“Any others?” She asks.

He shakes his head, his voice sticking in his throat. He couldn’t move, he was too busy concentrating on breathing.

He slowly pulls his jumper on the rest of the way and only when they head out does he feel safe enough to talk. He tells YN how he planned on getting more tattoos eventually, once he figured out what he liked. It was a bit scary being so permanent but he liked the way he could express himself or hold memories on his skin.

They talk about it until they reach the dorms the party was at.

“Catch you inside,” YN says as they enter. “Don’t get too drunk.”

“Never again” Harry shouts after her. She waves without turning around.

He thought they would hang out here together but he finds himself wandering the dorms until he spots Mikey. He becomes absorbed in Mikey’s group of friends and forgets he’d been here with YN.

At some point Harry finds himself the centre of attention of a girl from his intro to biology class. Mary. She’s cute with a shoulder-length brown hair and animated eyes. When she smiles at Harry he feels his heart flutter.

“What about weirdest?” She asks Harry. They were talking about their shared interest in cults.

“Raelian,” Harry responds. “Have you heard of them?”

“Ooh no tell me about it,” she shuffles closer to him in the stranger’s room they were talking in. Harry had been nursing his drink for the last couple hours and he’d nearly made it look like it was done.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he ignores it. When it goes off again Mary raises her brow.

“D’you need to get that?”

“I dunno,” Harry pulls out YN flipping him off on screen. He still hadn’t changed her photo.

“Harry!” He hears his name shouted from the hall just as the call ends.

“Is somebody actually calling you?” Mary furrows her brows.

“I don’t-“ his name is shouted again but louder.

The two of them shuffle to the hall and YN’s unmistakable face comes into view.

“Harry!” She says in a loud and happy tone. “I found you!”

“YN,” Harry glances at Mary nervously. She seems concerned. “What happened?”

“What didn’t happen amirite?” She elbows him. “Anyway. I don’t feel well and I am going home.”

“Drunk?” Harry scratches his head. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You’ve got like nearly 2 hours on the train.”

“And?” She shrugs. “I’ll sleep it off.”

“You can’t do that.” Harry insists.

“Well good thing you’re,” she points her finger into his chest and tilts forward. “Not the boss of me. Oh hey. We haven’t met!”

She spots Mary beside him and she bows to her.

“Heh. Harry. And Mary.” YN points between them.

“D’you need help?” Mary asks. “With her?”

“I don’t need help!” YN shouts. “I’m cool. I’m fun. I’m totally alright.”

“You’re really not,” Harry grits his teeth. He was finally hitting it off with Mary and of course YN had to go and get drunk and ruin it.

Technically he did invite her to the party though. Did that make her his responsibility? Harry wasn’t too sure about that sort of thing.

“I did an amazing job at Ring of Fire,” YN slurs. “Phe-nnnnn-omm-enal.”

“I am going to get her out of here,” Harry tells Mary. He twists his mouth to the side and hopes he looks as sorry as he felt. “I invited her so…”

“That’s alright! That’s what friends are for right?” She smiles. “I’ll see you in class?”

“Yeah!” Harry nods. “I’ll see you.”

With a final exchange of smiles Harry grabs YN by the shoulders and gets her out of the building. The whole time she talks about random things from the night that Harry couldn’t care less about.

“YN why did you get so bloody drunk,” Harry says outside his building. It was a co-ed so it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for both of them to go in but Harry wanted to sneak her into his room.

“I didn’t mean to,” she says. “I wasn’t even gonna stay this long.”

Her voice pitches down and she becomes droopier in Harry’s arms. His arms hurt; he should use the gym on campus more often.

“What happened?” Harry continues to entertain her.

She doesn’t say until they reach his room. He prays Rod would still be at the party and breathes a sigh of relief when the other side of the room is empty.

“Sit here,” Harry places YN on his bed and finds a water bottle for her. “Drink.”

“I can’t, I need to piss.”

Harry groans. “Why didn’t you say earlier?”

“I forgot,” she whispers. “Sorry.”

He points the toilets out to her and leaves the door open a crack so she can find her way back. Her mascara’s running when she gets back.

“Were you crying?” He asks.

“No! I tried to take this stupid stuff off.” She sighs. “It really is waterproof.”

Harry shakes his head, YN was a right state and he didn’t really know what to do. She’s always the one in control and in command. He remembers his sister using makeup wipes but he didn’t have any. He improvises with kleenex but she complains that it hurt. He tries dousing one in water but the makeup barely budges.

“Just let me sleep in it,” she complains.

“And get it all over my bedsheets?” Harry shakes his head. “No way.”

“Oils,” YN leans back in his bed anyway. “If you’ve got oil. Or balms. Whatever.”

Harry rummages through the room and manages to find a hair product his sister bought him with oils. He puts some on the kleenex but YN is snoring in bed by the time he gets up to her.

“C’mon,” he taps her face. “Did you seriously fall asleep already?”

“No,” YN cracks an eye open. “I’m up.”

“Good. Here use this.” He offers her the wipe but she whines until Harry gives in and helps her wipe it off. It makes his heart race and he tries not to breathe her in too much. Despite smelling like a brewery, underneath that she smells like YN. The one he knew last summer.

“You can’t sleep in my bed with this on.” Harry complains. Who knows where those jeans have been.

“M’not sleeping in my underwear,” she mumbles. “You wish.”

“Trust me I don’t,” Harry didn’t even sleep in his underwear. “I’ll give you some sweatpants. Please change into them.”

“You’re the worst,” she whines. But does as he says, moving like a sloth. She peels off his tshirt and slides into his sheets and Harry avoids looking at her in her sports bra. At least it wasn’t a lacy one.

She was just a friend. They had both made an agreement. Friends slept in the same bed. He’d probably shared a bed with Caleb before—this was fine.

Harry creeps under his sheets and tries to keep space between YN and himself but she tucks herself into his side and is out like a light.

***

Harry wakes to a shock of cold on his thigh. His eyes rip open and he yanks himself away from the freeze.

It takes him a moment to register YN giggling beside him.

“What the fuck!” Harry groans and turns on his back. At some point he’d turned towards YN and they’d probably slept facing each other. It was better than any other alternative he figured.

“Sorry,” she says without sounding a single bit sorry. “I just had to do it.”

“I literally let you crash in the same tiny bed as me and you repay me like that!?” Harry says to the ceiling. Sleep still tries to pull him back in but he fights it—with YN up he probably wasn’t going to get any more sleep.

“Okay no I shouldn’t have done that sorry.” She apologizes. “You wouldn’t happen to have like paracetamol or-“

“It’s in the desk drawer—what are you—ow!”

YN had started climbing over him as he answered and nearly kneed him between the legs.

“Sorry!” She whispers. Harry glances at his roommate to find him sleeping in his bed. He hoped Rod was too drunk to notice YN in his bed when he came in.

Harry decides to just get up then and eventually he walks YN to the bus terminal both of them full on caf coffee and breakfast. She was going to cut it close for her shift but she didn’t seem to care.

“Thanks for taking care of me last night,” YN says as the bus comes into view. She doesn’t look him in the eye as she says it and he can barely look at her saying it. “You didn’t have to and you did.”

“It’s nothing,” Harry says, equally uncomfortable with YN’s vulnerability.

“I saw an ex,” she meets his gaze. “I didn’t think I’d run into him after all this time. That’s kinda why I drank more than I intended. I wasn’t supposed to inconvenience you—hey, weren’t you talking to some girl last-“

“Yeah,” Harry hoped Mary wasn’t too weirded out by YN. “It’s fine. I’ve got class with her.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” she slaps her hand to her forehead. “I hope I didn’t make things weird. I owe you.”

“It’s alright,” Harry finally meets her eye and realizes it was alright. He could be friends with YN and maybe this could work. “It’s what friends do.”

“Really?” She asks.

He nods. “I’ll help you home from any party.”

“Awww,” she wrings her arms around Harry’s neck and he takes a step back to steady her. He forces his brain to think only friendly thoughts, and not how steady his hand feels on her lower back or how nice her hair smells, as he returns the hug. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said.”

She leans back and pats his face. “You’re growing up so much. Look at how much nicer you are.”

Harry blushes and she laughs at him as she runs to catch the bus. He watches the bus wink out of sight and sighs.

It was in part thanks to YN he’s grown so much, she forced him out of his shell and pointed out all the ways his intellect can get in the way of being a nice person. And being out of school helped the rest of the way; Harry’s contemplative on his walk back home.

***

“What about orange juice and biscuits?” Mary asks.

Harry thinks about it before shaking his head, “No. it doesn’t make sense.”

The two were having dinner together in the caf. Ever since the party last month they’ve spent more time together in between classes. They weren’t dating but there was a heavy chemistry between them. Harry didn’t realize, Mary was just waiting for them to make the first move.

“Crisps and jam?”

“Why?” Harry scrunches his face imagining the weird food combination. Mary was reading off an article she was reading when he sat down at her table.

She shrugs, “Apparently it’s moreish.”

Harry liked Mary a lot but he sometimes felt he paled next to her, like if he asked her out and she really got to know him she might not like him as much. So he kept her at arm’s length.

“What’s more-ish is the bile coming up my throat thinking of that.”

“A lot of these are pregnancy cravings!” Mary says. “What do we know?”

“Who’s pregnant?” Flo asks as she sits beside Mary. Mikey joins the table too.

“Nobody’s pregnant,” Harry corrects. “We’re just reading an article.”

“No actually, the computer science prof that everyone hates is pregnant. She’s not teaching next semester anyone who’s interested should take it then.” Flo informs the group.

“Can you imagine?” Mary turns to her. “Being so hated that the one semester you’re not teaching there’s a massive waiting list on your course?”

The group begins to discuss this particular prof and Harry fades into a listener. Mary catches his eye a few times and sends a bright smile his way and Harry keeps it tucked within.

Now a couple months into uni Harry was starting to find a rhythm that he was able to ride. He had more friends than he’s ever had, regularly went to parties and hung out with them, Rod and him were good friends by some way of YN, and uni challenged Harry’s brain in a good way.

Him and YN didn’t hang out very much but he often saw her at parties, in the Newsroom, or if he came back to his dorm while she napped. If had become part of their regular schedule for her to use his dorm to nap and Harry was more than happy to let her. Rod was too—even happier than Harry sometimes.

“Are you going to the Halloween thing Harry?” Mikey asks.

“Huh?” Harry had zoned out. “Uh I think so. Yeah. Why not?”

“Awesome,” Flo says. “We should go together.”

“We’re not doing matching costumed Flo,” Harry says for the tenth time this month.

“Why not?!” She cries. The table becomes noisy again as they argue the same thing they’ve argued since October started. Harry feels at home.

***

Just finished my mid-term, Harry texts Mary. We should celebrate with drinks later.

Yeah after I finish mine later today, would love to. Mary texts back.

Harry smiles at his phone and switches chat to YN.

Are you still at mine?

She doesn’t reply and Harry figures she’s either sleeping or maybe writing a mid-term. He knew she had one later this afternoon—the same class as Mary.

Uni turned out to be a small world, he’d found a few people he already knew in these halls and somehow new friends and old acquaintances had all mingled together.

The good thing was now that he regularly wore contacts and started putting in some effort in how he looked, a lot of his old classmates either walked past him with no recognition or spoke to him like they weren’t the reason he had one friend in secondary.

It still took some adjusting to: here he was, bottom-rung at his old school, asking someone at the top rung if she was still sleeping in his bed. It was mad.

Harry turns the key of his door and freezes at what’s before him.

His roommate Roderick sits on his bed with his back to the wall and someone looking very much like—no it was YN because her jacket lay on his bed, straddling his lap. YN and his roommate were making out.

“What is this?” Harry asks when his senses return. “What’s going on?”

“Oh hey Har,” Rod looks past YN. He was so casual, Harry felt a little crazy at thinking this was a big deal.

“Oh,” YN turns and unhooks her legs from around Rod. “You’re done your exam. How was it?”

Were they insane it was he just a prude? Harry’s roommate was making out with his friend. That regularly crashed in his room. Has this been going on for a while?

“Good. Fine. YN can we talk?” Harry asks.

“Sure,” YN climbs off the bed and fixes her lipstick whilst passing the mirror. Harry nods to the hall and she steps out. “What’s up?”

“What…what’s going on there?”

“What? Rod?”

“Obviously!”

“Oh my god Har, it’s nothing serious we were just making out.”

“For how long?”

“I dunno? Why do you want to know?”

“No like how long have you two been hooking up?”

“We were just making out today why’ve you got your panties in a twist?”

“So this is the first time?”

“No…we made out at a party last week. Anyway I was just studying on your bed after getting a nap in and he walked in. It got flirty, one thing led to another-“

“I’m not comfortable with this.” Harry clenched his teeth. He didn’t know why but it felt wrong they were doing this in his room. After he’d opened it up for her to give her a break from the constant commuting. What if things go sour between them and Rod takes it out on him? What if she ruins the vibe of their dorm?

“Harry,” YN lays a hand on his shoulder with a serious face. “You know I’ve kissed boys before. Done even more than-“

“This isn’t a joke,” Harry brushes her hand off. “I don’t feel comfortable with you doing…that in the room.”

“So now you’re deciding who I can see-“

“No!” Harry shouts a bit too loud and someone on the other end of the hall looks up. “No. You know that’s not what I’m saying. I don’t care who you hook up with YN. Just not in my room with my roommate. Do whatever you want with him at parties but not in my room. I don’t care what you do. Just…not in my room.”

Harry shuts up once he realizes he’s repeating himself. He hopes she understands.

“Fine.” She does her classic move. She shuts down. “I’ll be a devout virgin in your room. Outside I’ll be the wild child I am.”

“YN don’t twist this,” Harry sighs. “Why do you do that?”

“I’ve got an exam in a couple hours.” She opens the door. “I should go.”

“Already?” Rod says as they walk in.

“Harry’s made a request about us,” YN shoots him a look and Harry wants to take that look and throw it back at her. He was going to break it to Rod differently knowing how tenuous the balance of their friendship was. But now she’s just dropped it like a bomb in the middle of their dorm.

“What?” Rod looks at Harry.

Harry flushes but he tries to look at Rod when he tells him, “I think it’s weird you two making out here. You can do that anywhere just not here. My roommate and my friend…it’s weird.”

Rod blinks, Harry thinks he’s zoned out until he shrugs. “Nee bother. I respect it Harry. I’ll catch you out there then YN.”

YN looks between the boys, her hands holding her bag are curled into fists and with one last angry look to Harry she exits the room.

“Doesn’t look like she’s too chuffed with you man.” Rod pipes in from behind.

She wasn’t chuffed with him half the time, Harry was now used to it.

***

The Halloween party is packed like sardines and Harry considers leaving. Mary had come down with a flu and she’d also been avoiding him the last week. Gabe said she’s probably tired of him not doing anything about their mutual crush, Flo thinks she needs space, and YN says she found someone new to fantasize about but Harry thinks the last one is mostly to get under his skin.

Ever since that day in his dorm YN’s gone back to being bristly with Harry. It doesn’t bother him most days but it does frustrate him on a few.

“Harry!” A familiar face waves him down. The party was in off-campus student res and it was decorated like somebody had gone batshit on Amazon. Just walking toward Sophie, Harry had gotten a faceful of smoke, fake cobwebs, and bubbles for some reason.

“Soph! How’s it going?” Harry hadn’t seen Sophie since she quit Newsroom a few weeks ago. With midterms and club deadlines clashing she decided she couldn’t do both and left the club.

“So much better,” her brightened eyes and large smile fixed on her face clued Harry in that she’d already started drinking. “But I miss the Newsroom crew. How is everyone?”

“We’re fine—you know you could still hang out with us? We’re around.”

“Ugh I know,” she sways towards him. “But I feel like I hardly have time to be social. Social. Does that sound weird—so-shul?”

“I think you’re a bit drunk Soph,” Harry points to her cup.

“Oh yeah,” she laughs. “What about you? You don’t even have a drink!”

“I…I was gonna go get one.” Harry lies. He was actually gonna go home.

“Okay! Someone had shots going.”

She grabs his hand and it tingles. She races around until she finds the half-empty vodka and demands Harry do shots with her. He nearly chokes on it and coughs uncontrollably which sets Soph off.

“Are you alright?” She slaps his back harder than she looks like she could. “You need a chaser hold up!”

She disappears behind the table and pulls out lime wedges from god knows where. She instructs Harry how to do it even though he didn’t want any more but she doesn’t relent.

The second time is a lot smoother but Harry realizes he really did not like vodka either.

“Soph! Har! You two know each other?!” Roderick suddenly walks in on them, crashing the two with an arm around both. “Small worlds!”

“Hey Rod,” Soph’s glow dims a little.

“Now what kind of hello is that? And what are you supposed to be?”

“Scream queen right?” Harry asks as Soph says “Scream Queen duh?”

Rod frowns and takes his arms down. “Well I can make you scream, qu-“

“Alright,” Harry and Soph eye each other. Harry has been to enough parties with Rod to know what level of drunk meant what level of no filter. And it was best they left him alone now. “We’ll see you around mate.”

“Thank you,” Soph whispers in his ear as she loops her arm and they walk away.

“What’s going on with you two?” Harry asks. He’s learned enough to know Sophie soured at the sight of him.

“Really?” She asks.

“Really—what?”

“Him and YN were hooking up a few weeks ago. He was just…ekgh.”

“That’s not a word,” Harry laughs.

“I know!” She throws her hands up, one of which holds a knife.

“Alright,” Harry holds his up. “It’s a word.”

She throws her head back and laughs, then wields the knife against his throat.

“Woah, Soph.”

“It’s fake!” She laughs again.

“Yeah thank god,” Harry lowers it and she tumbles into him with the pressure she had put on it.

“Oops,” she smiles up at him. “Hey how d’you know Scream Queens?”

Blood rushes to Harry’s head as she looks up at him through her lashes. Soph was beautiful—she always had been. But tonight she looks particularly beautiful. It could be the vodka. But he wanted to kiss her.

“I watched it over the summer with…” Harry had watched it with YN. This was YN’s friend. Maybe he shouldn’t kiss her.

“Hm?” She inches her arm up and loops it around his neck. Her head tilts to one side and Harry feels the vodka flood his brain while his blood rushes another direction. “You’ve got really nice eyes.”

“So do you.” Harry barely gets out.

“Our babies would have amazing eyes.” She says with complete seriousness. Obviously she was drunk.

“Yeah. Uhm,” Harry tries to push her away. He does, or he tells himself that. But when she stands on the balls of her feet Harry felt it was rude to not meet her halfway. Not press his lips against her strawberry-flavoured plush ones. It felt amazing.

“D’you wanna go somewhere?” She whispers in his ear.

Harry doesn’t want to. He just wants her to shut up so they can keep kissing.

He leads her gently to the wall and continues kissing her, displaying what he’s learned in his two months at uni. And the noises she makes does unspeakable things to Harry.

“C’mon!” She urges to him. “Surely one of the bedrooms are free!”

At the thought his mind clears for a single moment. Should he be doing this? Was his first time really going to be at a Halloween party with Soph?

“I don’t have any-“

“That’s alright!” She tugs him back to her. “Let’s just see where the night takes us.”

“You’ve got to lose the knife though,” Harry says against her lips.

She laughs and tucks it into his back pocket. “Okay?”

Her laugh scatters away the remaining rational thought and he follows her wherever she takes him.

***

“Alright team,” the head of Newspaper stands addressing the crowd. “This has been an incredible year of reporting. I think we’ve done a fantastic job and I want to commend you all on your efforts and time lent to our humble club. Our final edition is going to print today, and the year’s final episode releases this Friday. So do give it a listen. Next year we’ll be back invigorated with more stories to tell. Have a great holiday all!”

Harry’s eyes roam the room, feeling content at being part of this hard-working group.

Despite only a semester on the Newspaper Harry felt really bonded with everyone. The team was big, split into print and podcast and yet despite not knowing everyone, the passion for stories and reporting was palpable. Especially release weeks.

Over the semester Harry had gotten even closer to Florence and Gabriel, it made Newsroom feel even more collaborative. And they often grabbed a bite after Newsroom or they would sometimes go to Gabriel’s and play video games. YN would join occasionally.

YN, only being a first year, was often frustrated being sidelined by seniors. Her friends often heard about it after particular Newsroom meetings. Still, YN on the podcast team made waves and Harry knew because her name was often on a lot of projects or on the lips of a lot of seniors. It made him proud to be her friend, often it reminded him of how he used to think about her. But Newsroom was a perfect example of how they both had separate strengths and how they flourished in each of them. He’s glad he realized that last year.

Harry’s eyes continue to dart to the door, checking his phone. It was weird y/n didn’t show up today when she should have. Especially the final meeting.

When the group goes for dinner in the caf Harry spots their friend Sophie.

What started as hooking up at Halloween ended in a few other hook-ups over the last month or so. Each time Harry felt incredibly guilty but Soph was really nice to him and nice to kiss too. Plus, Mary had stopped hanging out with him without another word and he wasn’t exactly sure what he did for that. So he’d given her space.

“Y/n wasn’t at today’s meeting, shame.” Flo says to Soph. “D’you know where she is?l

“No, that’s strange. I saw her earlier today?” Soph looks at the group.

“Me too,” Gabe adds. “She’s around.”

“Yeah it is strange,” Harry comments. “She’s usually on time, or at least sends us a text if she can’t make it.”

“I hope everything’s okay,” Flo scrunches her brows.

“I’m sure it is.” Sophie reassures her.

She turns to Harry with a secret smile, one hand sliding onto his thigh. “Any plans after this?”

“Oh!” Harry startles as her hand slides higher up his thigh. This was so…public. “Maybe. Uhm. Soph can we talk?”

He’d wanted to talk to her all week but had been so busy with exams. He thought about it a lot and really didn’t think sneaking behind y/n’s back with her friend was right. Especially after he asked her not to hook up with Rod in his room and she stopped.

Sophie shrugs and follows him off to the side.

“We need to talk,” Harry starts, he waves between both of them. “About this.”

“Yeah?” Sophie asks.

“Yeah. And. About Y/n.”

Sophie just notices the serious tone to Harry’s voice. She stops playing with her hair and stands taller. “Okay. What about her?”

Harry takes a deep breath, trying to articulate his thoughts. “I’ve just been thinking with us being her friend, she doesn’t know about us. I don’t want to sneak behind her back give her another reason to have trust issues—she’s been through a lot.”

“Yeah,” Soph agrees. “Y/n’s strong. She’s got like, that tough quiet strength she just exudes it always. I admire that about her.”

Harry nods, a small smile tugging on his lips. “Exactly. She’s really loyal to her friends, and I don’t want to screw anything up. I just…don’t think she’d approve of this.”

Sophie’s eyes soften with understanding. “Oh.”

“What?”

“You…care about her don’t you?”

“Well uhm yeah she’s my friend I-I yeah-“

“Like care about her.” Soph cuts off Harry’s stuttering. He felt like an idiot.

“Uhhh…”

“Be honest,” Soph curls the side of her mouth. “It’s not like we’re dating I don’t like care if you do.”

“Yeah fine. More than I probably should yeah,” he sighs. “But she’s made it clear we’re nothing more than friends. And I’m fine with that but we go way back and she’s helped me though a lot. I just don’t want to lose her. As a friend. But you’re a really great person too Soph I don’t want to lose. And I don’t want it to get complicated here.”

“I get it,” Sophie shrugs. “But it doesn’t have to be complicated. Or a secret. We’re just having fun!”

“Yeah I just don’t want to jeopardize anything.”

Unbeknownst to Harry and Sophie, y/n enters the caf then and spots the two before spotting their usual table. She heads towards Harry and Sophie first, curious as to why they were separated in what looked like an intense discussion.

“Fine. I get it!” Sophie continues.

“I’ve screwed up with her enough.” Harry says as y/n gets within hearing distance. “I hate feeling like I’m walking on egshells around her.”

“YN’s a tough cookie,” Soph agrees. “I’d be scared to be on her bad side.”

“I’ve been on it. Kinda made my life hell. It’s like facing a lion with just a stick.”

“You poor thing,” Soph touches Harry’s cheek and laughs just as her phone vibrates. “Oh that’s Emmy hold on.”

Harry smiles as she steps away but it dies as y/n steps into view.

“Oh y/n…how long-“

“Walking on eggshells? Didn’t realize being around me was such a burden-“

“No y/n that’s not the-“

“Save it Harry,” her eyes flicker with hurt.

“No seriously!” Harry tries to explain. “I wasn’t saying it like that!”

“You compared me to a fucking lion!”

“Let me explain-“

“After everything I told you about me I thought we got each other Har-“ Y/n cuts herself off as her throat closes with tears. She was not the type to cry in front of anyone, especially a boy. She waits for the feeling to subside. “It’s pretty clear where I stand. And by the way, talking me down isn’t going to make you look good with Soph.”

“Y/n please,” Harry feels her slipping away again and he envisions taking her by the shoulder and giving her a good shake. He hated when she did this, like the tides at a beach she retreated so quickly all he was left with was sand. She never left enough time for someone to grab her.

“Just…whatever Harry.”

With that she turns on her heel and walks away, the noise in the caf suddenly comes roaring in on either side of Harry. He wants to turn the volume dial all the way down and run after her but he knows neither are possible.

“What was that?” Sophie reappears.

“She heard the wrong end of our conversation.” Harry says with dread. “I didn’t mean for her to hear it like that. She must think…I don’t even know what she must think.”

“Mmm,” Sophie squeezes Harry’s shoulder. “Just give her space. I’ll ask her what she heard and explain don’t worry. She’ll come around.”

Harry wasn’t so sure.

***

Harry watches as Mary enters the bar and looks around. For a moment he can just be another bloke seeing Mary for the first time wondering what she’s like with her cropped hair and animated brown eyes. He feels his heart picking up speed the longer he watches her—he can’t believe it took him this long to ask her out officially.

Although it wasn’t entirely his fault.

Harry didn’t think Mary would ever be interested in him on a deeper level—he definitely wouldn’t date himself. And when Mary began to make excuses about hanging out last year, Harry took that as a big glaring sign he was right, instead of just asking her outright.

Then there was the tryst with Soph. And the fallout with y/n who cut him out of his life like she was scissors through wrapping paper. Harry acted like it didn’t hurt him but it did; after all the time they spent together he didn’t know how y/n could be so cold with people she called her friends. She didn’t even care about his explanation.

But Harry’s sister had given him an earful one night during Christmas break, about dating the girl he was really into and not being such a coward. It took him a whole month to work up the courage but on Valentine’s Day he’d asked Mary to be his. It was cheesy but she loved it. They’d hung out a few times and last week Harry asked her to be his girlfriend. He was officially in a relationship!

Mary catches his wave from the front and she breaks into her toothy smile that squeezed his heart every time it was directed his way. Falling in love made the whole world feel soppy. Harry’d never experienced something like this; in a world of learning and achievements this was one he felt really proud to get to.

“What are you smiling so hard about?” Mary teases as she reaches him. Harry kisses her and keeps her hand in his as they sit.

“Just this girl, can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Must be a lucky lady,” Mary grins. She was head over heels too.

“Nah I think I’m the lucky one.”

“God,” Mary pulls her hand away and presses them to her blushing cheeks. “You’re damn charming when you want to be Harry.”

That wasn’t a word anyone would ever use to describe him. Yet Harry feels over the moon to hear it. Here was proof he was changing—he was finally growing up.

The new couple have a few drinks with their food, they talk about school, friends, and the upcoming Easter Break.

“I’m heading home too,” Mary was originally from Liverpool. “My mum’s sister’s coming in from Australia for Easter. She’s got these little rascals I haven’t seen in years so I’ll have to see how big they’ve gotten now.”

“Are those the rascals who stole your Taylor Swift poster?”

“Signed poster,” Mary corrects him. “And yes. As payback because I caught then stealing their dad’s smokes. It’s been 3 years and I still haven’t gotten that back.”

“You really think they kept it?”

“Well we’re gonna find out,” Mary grinds her knuckles into the palm of her other hand. “I’m older and stronger now I can take them.”

Harry laughs, he loved seeing Mary when she was joking like this. Otherwise she was a bit like him when it came to studying and being serious.

“Well you’ve got a boyfriend now. I’ll make the trip if it means getting that poster back.”

“Would you!?” Mary reaches out to him. “That’s actually so sweet.”

Harry’s chest fills with warmth as she kisses him, and that sparks a different hunger. They pay their tab and head out hand in hand back to his dorm.

Rod isn’t in and they take advantage of that.

Roderick and Harry had continued their friendship despite y/n disappearing from his dorm. They’d gotten to the point where Harry declined a couple parties and Rod didn’t take it personally, and Harry actually helped Rod out with some of his studies. They worked out together and there was a better balance.

He did see y/n at parties sometimes. A couple times with Rod too. He tried to talk to her the first couple times but she always danced away just as he got to her. So he stopped trying. She was frustrating.

“Hey,” Mary kisses his jaw. “Where’d you go?”

“Sorry,” Harry had gotten lost in his head again. “I think Rod’s gonna be back soon-“

“Oh,” Mary sighs. “Okay. My roommate’s a shut in, too bad we can never go to mine.”

“If I asked him to not come home he wouldn’t,” Harry realizes Mary wanted to cross some bases too late. He really should stick to being in his body more often. He should have messaged Rod as soon as they headed here.

“Maybe next time,” Mary smiles sweetly. She wipes the side of Harry’s lips with her thumb, that’s when he realizes she was wearing lipstick. It was a subtle colour but not as much when it’s smeared on her chin. Something about seeing it like that feels endearing to him.

“Until then,” he pulls her back to him and kisses her hard, she responds in kind. Just as Harry slips his hand below her tee the doorknob jiggles. He sighs, “Fuck.”

“It’s alright,” Mary whispers below him. “That was fun.”

He peers back down at her, her lipstick is even worse but she’s looking up at him like she’s seeing him for the first time. Note to self show Mary how much I like her, Harry realizes.

This time he uses his thumb to swipe at the smudged lipstick. She smiles at him like he hung the stars.

***

Harry would have taken the train home last night to avoid the crowds but it was his last day with Mary before being apart for 2 weeks and he wanted to make the most of it. So now he pays the consequences with a packed train and barely any leg room.

The guy next to him plays some video game on his phone, the person across from that guy is already napping with her mouth open. Harry waits to see who takes the seat across and his heart drops when they finally take the seat and look up at him.

“For fuck’s sake,” she mutters.

Y/n. Of course it would be her. She’s cut her hair since the last time he saw her—now she has a fringe and he’s pretty sure layers with how much they flick outwards from her face.

“Y/n,” Harry greets her. This was going to be one long train ride. Although he wasn’t sure what she was doing here—did she move on campus this semester?

“Harry…” she says with a studied coolness.

“Nice to see you.”

“Is it?” She asks. “Look I’ll just find another-“

She gets up but Harry’s faster. He stretches out his long leg to block the corridor. She’s stuck within the 4-seater.

“What are you doing?”

“Keeping you in,” Harry says with a small smile. She would be forced to sit in front of him, he would finally be able to get her to talk.

“Harry don’t be so immature move your leg.”

“That’s your seat just take it y/n.” He motions to it.

“Harry!” She tries to climb over it but Harry just raises his leg and it throws her off balance. She nearly falls backwards but Harry springs up fast enough to balance her. That’s how he finds himself standing in her personal space, one hand on her lower back and the other clutching her arm.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Get. Off of me.” She replies.

He lets her go and she actually sits back down. Harry glances around and flushes as he realizes everyone around them had started staring.

“Nice hair,” Harry tries again as the train leaves the station. By then they’d been sitting in silence for at least 15 minutes.

“Yeah. Whatever.” Y/n brushes her bangs.

“So are you on campus now?” Harry continues casually.

This both surprises and irritates y/n. Usually he was very sensitive to when she was being a bitch to him, but now it seemed he was getting some enjoyment out of talking to her despite her attempt at staying cold; something had changed with him.

“No.” She answers as clipped as possible.

“So you’re taking the train home today because…”

“God Harry,” y/n sighs. “I had my last exam and stayed out too late. Now stop asking me questions like I’m in a bloody interview. Leave me alone!”

“Isn’t that what I’ve been doing the last couple months,” Harry grumbles. The look she gives him could cut him in half.

She studies him, what’s changed she wonders. He still didn’t meet her eye completely but he was challenging her a lot more. She wouldn’t have minded it as much if she wasn’t recovering from a killer hangover.

“So won’t be hard to continue.” She glares.

And that’s how the remaining hour or so is spent sitting across from his friend or ex-friend, whatever. In silence. Apart from a few glances her way he buries his nose in his book and texts Mary as she boards her own train.

Of course, they get off on the same platform and when Harry’s mum catches sight of y/n she insists on giving her a ride home since y/n was just going to take the bus. The two of them sit in silence as Harry’s mum asks them a dozen questions. The ride ends with an invite for dinner and a non-committal yes from y/n.

“You guys get into a fight or something?” Harry’s mum asks as they drive to their home.

“Or something,” Harry mumbles.

“It was like the the bloody DMZ in here.”

Harry shrugs. “It’s just y/n being y/n.”

“I saw her a couple weeks ago at M&S,” Harry’s mum continues. “She didn’t look so good I offered her a ride but she said she was waiting for her sister to finish her shift. D’you know what’s going on with her?”

Harry thought about it but couldn’t think of a single thing. Y/n kept her cards very close to her chest.

“No. She doesn’t share much.”

“Well do you ask?”

“No but even if I did she would just shut me out,” Harry suddenly feels defensive.

“It’s still nice to be asked,” his mum says. “Knowing someone cares enough.”

Harry looks at his mum, the words she’s saying makes sense. But it surprises him to hear them and realize just how much it made sense. How come he’s never realized that?

Maybe he was a shittier friend than he realized.

So Harry gives it a few days and shows up at y/n’s house. This time he knew exactly where to find her.

“You are?” One of y/n’s brothers answers the door. He was a couple years older than them.

“Harry I uh-is y/n home?”

“Maybe,” his brother continues to scrutinize Harry until he squirms. “Wait here.”

He waits for an eternity, sitting down on the stoop while he does. Finally the door opens behind him and y/n joins him on the stoop.

She’s in a blue sweater and pyjama pants. Harry’s surprised to see little powerpuff girls all over them. His sister used to watch that Friday evenings.

“What’re you doing here?”

“I just want to talk y/n,” Harry had practiced looking her in the eye. Just talking to her like a friend. He looks at her now. “You’ve been icing me out for months now it’s unfair. Sophie told me she told you what we were talking about, how you walked in when it sounded wrong and you’re still mad about it?”

She stares at him for a beat before sighing.

As she exhales she grows smaller in front of him until she’s drooped over, her arms circle her knees, and her head rests atop them—she’s the size of a pumpkin.

“I’m not mad at that,” she admits. “Sophie explained you didn’t mean it like that. I was more offended just at the fact that you two were talking about me. But I didn’t realize you two were close…”

“Yeah. I’m sorry about that-“

“That,” she cuts him off. “Is mostly why I was upset with you. You made such a big deal that I was hooking up with Rod meanwhile you were banging one of my friends? Behind my back?”

“We weren’t-I wouldn’t say bang-“

“Doesn’t matter Har!” Y/n sits up again and Harry feels the clouds break for a sec as she uses his nickname. “That wasn’t a great way to find out. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Harry didn’t know. Or he did: he didn’t think him and Soph were going to be more than a one time thing and when it was, he was ashamed a bit. He didn’t think he would go to college and have a casual relationship as his first one. It wasn’t something he necessarily wanted public knowledge.

“Maybe I was scared. I dunno. I just know I’m really sorry.”

They sit in silence for a few seconds, Harry hears the hoover turn on in yn’s house.

“Why’ve you got to be so fucking honest for,” y/n finally says with a sigh. “Makes it so hard to be mad at you when you’re all sincere and vulnerable.”

“Sorry,” Harry repeats.

“Stop it!” YN exclaims.

“Fine!” Harry’s heart pounds. “I don’t give a fuck about how you felt. Happy?”

Y/n freezes and slowly turns to stare at him. A smile ever so slowly tugs at the corner of her lips. She almost looks proud?

“Harry!” She grins. Then she punches him square in the bicep. Then gasps. “Have you been working out?”

Harry had been; in between class and clubs and dating, he started working out last winter with Rod.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me y/n,” Harry jokes and y/n snorts. The two look at each other at the sound of it before bursting out in laughter.

“I don’t know where that came from!” Y/n says through laughter. “I literally snorted!”

“You sounded like Peppa Pig,” Harry also has tears in his eyes. He missed hanging out with y/n.

Once they get ahold of their laughter Harry bumps his shoulder into hers. “It’s nice you’re talking to me again.”

She looks like she wants to say something to Harry, her eyes grow intense as she fixes onto him, her chin wobbling, but then it passes. Harry ignores the spark of disappointment.

“Yeah we’ll see.” She says with a half smile.

All was right in the world again, Harry thought.

He should have known, though, being friends with y/n would never be that simple.

*

TAGLIST: hmu if you want to be added

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 16

Part 15

Shawn watched as the Pre-K students walked in a line down the hallway. They were so little. They still got naptime and cried in the morning when their parents dropped them off. Shawn couldn’t remember being like that, but he remembered that age. He remembered having good and bad times with his sire.

There were games of catch, and trips to the park. There were times when he needed a hand to hold and he reached for his dad’s, the one person he knew in a crowd of strangers. But then there were nights of shouting. Nights where he was afraid for his other dad. And for himself. Nights where one dad tried to rush him upstairs before he could hear and see the worst of it. But being up in his room and hearing a muffled argument was sometimes worse than being present. He was left to guess what was happening until footsteps came to his room.

Anytime he fought with Billy and Shawn was around, Steve made a point to come up and check on him. Not just for Shawn’s sake but his own. He couldn’t relax until he made sure his pup was safe. 

Shawn shook his head as he fiddled with the hall pass, continuing on his way to the bathroom. He knew that 7-4=3. That was easy math. And yet those three years between him and pre-k seemed like a million years instead.

-------------------

Steve made the decision the day Eddie came back from the park and told him Billy had approached them. They needed to get away for a bit. And spring break gave them the perfect opportunity to do so. It would be the four of them. Him, Shawn, Robin, and now Eddie. Steve had quite the itinerary planned as they drove to their hotel in the city.

He knew he’d made the right choice when Shawn woke him up the first day of break. He had pounced right on his torso, his grunt and the force of Shawn somehow not waking Eddie up at all. 

The first day they were simply walking about the streets, getting some exploring in. Steve and Robin took as many pictures as humanly possible. Steve of course, was a sucker for his kid and knew these moments would be fleeting as he got older. But also Eddie turned out to be a very good subject. Very briefly Steve thought about how even in his most obsessed shutterbug phase, he had very few pictures of Shawn and Billy together.

It felt like he already had more of his pup and Eddie sharing the same frame. But after that thought he pushed Billy from his mind because Eddie was posing, pretending to drink from a huge fountain and Shawn was mirroring him.

They got lunch from a food truck and while sitting on a bench Eddie and Robin argued about the pronunciation of ‘gyro’. Shawn sat between them, watching the debate like a hockey match. They were getting pretty spirited but even he could tell it was all in fun. It wasn’t a real argument.

“Steve. Tiebreaker”, Robin urged.

“You’re gonna call me a traitor if I side with Eddie. And if I side with you, Eddie will go all drama queen on me.”

Eddie then looked down to Shawn. “Back me up Shawnie, shouldn’t it be pronounced the way it’s spelled?”

Shawn tilted his head as he looked at the word on the side of the truck. “If it’s said the way it’s spelled, wouldn’t it be ‘guy-roh’?”

“And a third contender enters the ring”, Steve announced.

They finished lunch and went for a walk around the nearby park. After, they went back onto the streets and just happened to pass by a theatre that was having a puppet show. They bought tickets and Steve was surprised by how engrossed Shawn was. Sometimes it seemed like kids today were growing up faster than before, his son especially. It was moments like these that reminded him he was still so young and new.

“You should use puppets in class”, Shawn suggested to Eddie when the show ended.

“Another compliment about my amazing voice work?”, he batted his lashes.

“Yeah, they’re really funny”, Shawn laughed.

That night at the hotel, Steve and Robin went through all their photos, sharing their favorites. Steve had Robin’s phone and his breath caught in his throat.

“I think I found my favorite”, he said.

The picture had him, Shawn, and Eddie. Shawn stood between them, holding both of their hands. It was the picture of something he always wanted. Someone who loved his pup and him and wanted to be in their lives.

The next day was spent mostly at the museum. Eddie had plenty to say in the dinosaur exhibit but Steve was the one to lead them through the human history exhibits. When they arrived at the insect pavilion though, both let their excitement take over.

“See here Shawn this is…”

“And they’ve adapted the most perfect camouflage…”

“That kind of stunning coloration…”

“Only a few other insects are known to…”

“And they’re pretty deadly too…”

“Thought to bring good luck…”

Shawn was enthralled of course. Bugs were cool. But before either teacher knew it, there was a small gaggle of young museum goers who were hanging onto their every word. Shawn would’ve thought it weird if his teacher wasn’t so great. And he guessed his dad was pretty good at teaching too.

“Alright, who’s ready to learn about gemstones and rocks?”, Eddie asked, which prompted about half a dozen arms to go in the air.

-------------------

Obviously, they didn’t lead a whole impromptu tour group of kids through the museum. It was spring break for teachers too. And Steve was glad to only be responsible for his own pup, if just for a few days. With a sigh, he fell back against the bed in the room he and Eddie were sharing. Robin and Shawn had the room next to them. His feet were aching but Shawn and Eddie were still matching each other’s energy.

“What do you say you and me go out for some more?”, Eddie offered to the boy. 

“Yeah we can feed the ducks! Or see a movie, or or or-”

“Have fun you two”, Steve called out. “Dinner downstairs tonight?”

“Sounds good”, Eddie said, already holding Shawn’s hand.

“They close at eight”, Steve reminded him.

And then the two were out the door. It was quiet for about three seconds and then Steve heard feet pounding back, what sounded like someone fumbling with their things before the door opened.

“I almost forgot”, Eddie said, kind of breathless as he came back over to Steve. He gave his lips a peck. “There. Can’t leave without it.”

Steve rolled his eyes but then grabbed Eddie’s shirt to bring him in for a real kiss. Eddie followed his pull to lean over more onto the bed and was starting to forget why he was leaving in the first place.

“Hey! Ew!”, Shawn squealed. “We gotta go! Stop being gross!”

They broke apart giggling and Eddie spared Shawn any more kissy-face and walked out with him. Steve felt lighter than air even as they left. He really could spend the day kissing Eddie, surrounded by his scent.

-----------------------

Eddie and Shawn had decided on getting some secret ice cream before dinner. The secret was that Eddie knew Steve didn’t care if Shawn had his dessert before. The food was all going to the same place, the order mattered little when he knew how much his pup ate. Eddie just knew not to get him the biggest sundae in the world.

He let out a breath as Shawn started to eat his ice cream. He didn’t know how else to start this conversation besides to just start it. He knew the ice cream wouldn’t actually help soften any blows. He recalled Wayne sitting him down at his favorite diner when he told him his father would be going away for a long time. The food hadn’t made him feel any better. But it definitely didn’t make him feel worse.

“I wanna talk about your dads, buddy. Them and me and how we all fit together.”

Shawn didn’t pause in his eating, bringing another scoop to his mouth but Eddie knew it was to distract himself. “What about it?”

“You know I’ve been courting your dad. We’re serious about being together. I don’t know how you feel about your other dad, but I want you to know I don’t want you to think you have to love me over him. If you ever want to talk to him, or be close to him, I won’t stop you.”

“....Wouldn’t you be my dad too?”, Shawn asked.

Eddie fidgeted with the rings on his hand. “I’d love to. If you want me to.” 

Shawn stirred his slightly melted ice cream around in the bowl. “Are you gonna fight my other dad?”

“Only if he tries to hurt you or Steve”, Eddie answered honestly. 

----------------------

It was their last day in the city and they were spending it all a ball game. Eddie wasn’t much for sports but he could see the appeal. And he definitely enjoyed how much fun Steve and Shawn were having, cheering for their time. When night fell though, it was just Steve and Eddie. Steve had just come out of the shower and was grabbing clothes to change into for bed.

Eddie watched him leisurely from the bed, the TV’s volume turned down low. Tonight he would pop the question. Eddie was nervous, sure. But he hated the thought of any more time passing without having tried. When Steve was dressed, he got on the bed and cuddled up to Eddie’s side.

“Baby?”

“Hm?”

Eddie sat up and adjusted his position so that they were facing each other. Steve sat up too, worry marring his features and Eddie just couldn’t have that. Eddie grabbed his hands. 

“Steve, I wanna give you my bite.”

Steve’s eyes got glassy and he stopped breathing for a long while before letting out a sob and nodding eagerly. “Yes! Yes please! Right now, give it to me now!”

Eddie held his face and brought him in for a kiss that Steve instantly melted into. It took very little nudging to make him fall back onto the mattress, spread out under Eddie. Eddie’s lips moved to his jaw, then his neck, nose buried deep into his skin. Steve always smelled so beautifully but in this moment of euphoric he was downright intoxicating.

He found Steve’s mating bond and licked at it slowly, then lavished it with kisses. He got to his teeth grazing the skin and that was when Steve finally let out a whine and rolled his hips against Eddie’s.

“Stop teasing”, he urged, grabbing the back of Eddie’s head.

“Not teasing, love. I’m savoring.”

Steve’s mouth opened for another complaint but was cut off when Eddie’s hand cupped at his cunt, giving him something to grind against as Eddie kissed his neck. Steve’s whines turned to whimpers and he felt himself getting closer and closer, just from the magic of Eddie’s hand. Then Eddie’s hand dipped under his hem, finally touching his bare pussy and then biting down hard on his neck.

Eddie felt Steve’s orgasm like his own, his tongue and fingers tingling where they were connected to Steve.  He pulled back, licking his lips and admiring his work. But Steve quickly pulled him back in.

“We’re not finished yet”, Steve breathed hotly.

Part 17

Taglist

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog

@hippieg1rl420 @spectrum-spectre @a-lovely-craziness @sharingisntkaren

[fourleafclovxr]

8: hewn

Only one teacher is allowed into the Theatre of Tales, the night before the Circus of Talents. The rest are locked in their rooms, doors spelled shut with a magic far older and more powerful than their own, for all the Dean of Good might try.

But August Sader walks unrestricted in the School; Rafal could not keep him trapped if he tried. Not that he would try. There’s an old analogy about two birds. One that has every luxury in the world, but is kept in a locked cage. Another that has nothing, except for its freedom to come and go as it pleases. The first will fly away as soon as it is able. The second will always come back home.

August is still unsure of which, exactly, Rafal sees him as. Or which he is.

Rafal must know that, in the end, they are not on the same side.

But he is kind to August, or if not kind, at least lenient with him in ways no one else is afforded. Of all his colleagues August alone is allowed the privilege of freely coming and going wherever he desires. He can go home, meet his brothers, meet their children— if they want to see him. He can visit his sister and her twins, Rafal’s twins— if she lets him. Most of the time she doesn’t. The last time he saw Rhian and Japeth was their eighth birthday, the year before Evelyn sent them off to Arbed House.

A lot of the freedoms Rafal allows him are not freedoms at all, really. August would not leave the School if he could help it. He likes it here, really, likes that he’s familiar with the winding steps and the ever-alike classrooms and the intersecting hallways, likes that he knows his way around.

More than that, this is his duty. This School; this post.

And this man, just a man, who knows full well August would never believe his mystique. The School Master is sparing with his name, but he’d given it to August freely: Rafal, or, as I was known before, Rhian. Call me Rafal. My dear brother was wrong about me. He’s dead, now.

August, who had written and animated his first draft of the Student’s History of the Woods about Rafal and Rhian, or the other way around— then promptly burned it— had only nodded. Rafal’s mask had glinted, a blur of silver in August’s vision. I look forward to working with you, my Seer, he’d said.

My Seer. Rafal has always treated him like a possession, a prize. Has always been so proud that August chose to come to him. It is something that is easy to resent.

And yet August chooses to come to him, even now. Chooses to sit and listen patiently as Rafal enchants wooden likenesses of dying princes, on the other side of the Theatre for Tales. He’s spelled them to die with choked-off screams and feeble declarations of Good, though August isn’t sure how they’re dying exactly. It would be disturbing, if they weren’t in a School quite literally raising children to kill each other in their fourth year.

August has been dreaming of these things for years. Before he knew what they were.

He’s been dreaming of Rafal for longer. He knows all this already.

One last scream, and the room drifts mercifully into silence. Rafal turns, his boots clicking neatly on the floor as he makes his way back to the Good side of the theatre, cape sweeping over the floor with more flair than ever necessary.

He comes to a stop in front of August; offers his arm, fingers brushing August’s shoulder. There is not much August can do other than take it, gripping his cane firmly as Rafal pulls him to his feet. Rafal’s hands are, as always, ice-cold.

“You never have anything to say,” Rafal says lightly, half-complaining. “Perhaps this is the year my art finally gets through to you.”

“Our dearly beloved School Master,” August says, acerbic. “An artist. Perhaps you should pursue that, instead.”

“I could say the same about you, my dearly beloved Seer,” Rafal laughs. He seems happy to have gotten a rise out of August at all.

They pause just in front of the wall. August brushes his fingers over the carvings with a gentle touch; the carved knights cough and cry as he does. It’s good workmanship. Rafal has had a hundred years to improve on it, after all. But it’s not a very pleasant experience.

He says as much. “It’s not supposed to be,” Rafal replies, “they’re Evil.” He guides August to a carving of… some monster, or another, one that roars under his touch, spitting a burst of burning sparks. August tugs his hand back reproachfully. Rafal laughs, again.

“I’ll enchant something nicer for Good,” he promises. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Our first Good Seer in generations. Our first Seer with any sort of allegiance.” His voice strays dark as he completes the thought.

“You know very well why I have an allegiance,” August says mildly. It’s his duty; to kill Rafal. There is only one way this story ends.

“We could have been such good friends,” Rafal sighs. “You and I. But then I suppose we would have no reason to be.” He hooks his arm through August’s once again. They play at closeness, the two of them. Or Rafal does, at any rate.

They move to the crystal freizes, on Good’s side of the Theatre. They must be lovely, like everything to do with Good is. The stained glass is pleasantly cool under August’s fingers; he makes out the outline of a rose in bloom.

“I’m thinking of having them bloom as the students enter,” Rafal says idly. “No monsters here.”

“You just resent that Good keeps winning,” August sighs.

“I do,” Rafal admits openly. He has nothing to hide from August. He could not, either way. “There are more carvings, lower down, if you care for them.”

August nudges at the base of the wall with his cane, curious; he kneels to feel the raised patterns. Textured feathers. There, a wing, another. Borne in flight.

“Swans,” Rafal provides. Of course. He’s more predictable than he thinks.

August moves his cane along the wall, then starts walking back towards the other side, cane knocking against the continuous loop of carvings. Twin swans hewn all around the Theatre. A reminder of a promise unfulfilled.

Rafal doesn’t usually care so much.

But, of course, this Circus is special.

“This will be the tale to end all tales,” the School Master says, almost to himself. “Won’t it, August?”

“I don’t take questions,” August says.

“This is what you’re here for, after all,” Rafal continues, as if August had never spoken at all. “What role are you going to play, I wonder? Will we have to be enemies?”

This is the second to last time they will ever meet each other. August has spent years knowing Rafal, years with the idea of him— the shadow of him— living in his head. It was never going to amount to anything more than this.

Will he fly free, out of this gilded cage? Or has he sworn himself to Rafal, and his tale, and his end? You go on, no matter the cost. Seers don’t speak of costs, they only speak of duty.

Either way, both of them are trapped.

“You know,” Rafal says. Almost wistful. “You know, if I had the chance, I would want it to be you.”

[mads-is-a-bit-strange]

Hello loves!!!

Welcome to my page!! i hope u doin great today, and that you choose to stay here!! this is a safe spot for everyone (except for my DNI…), and you can ask me random shit all the time!! All of my info is under the cut!! Have fun darling!💗

Here's some things abt me☟

Name: Madeleine

Nicknames: mads, maddie, marie, mad, maggie, em, juniper, daisy, linnie (pls call me these nicknames i fuckin love them [maybe other than mads and maddie] )

Age: minor‼️

Pronouns: she/they

Sexuality: Bisexual, Demigirl/Non-binary

mbti test results: ENFJ-T (main character vibes😝✌️)

aura color: blue💙💙💙

Now some random facts abt me☟

♡here are my ocs accounts!!

@the-giver3

@b3c0m3-insan3

@lemme-die-rq666

@bibi-hates-u2

@sun-and-moon888

@talkingisntrllymything

💛i listen to music more than i should…(specifically my musical playlist with way to much heathers😆)

💛baby witch (i havent done any spells before but i do tarot a lot)

💛i love all of my friends <333 Im so lucky to have them and i would literally die for them❤️❤️❤️❤️and my mutuals idk how the hell i got those but i’m very grateful

💛i’m otherhearted!!! i have multiple hearttypes and my main ones right now are prob German Shepherd and Raccoon :3

💛cabin 10!!! (aphrodite)💗🐚

🩷 “this is modern feminism talking” “i expect to rule the world in shoes i cannot walk in”🩷

💛"Everyone's pushing, everyone's fighting. Storms are approaching, there's nowhere to hide. If i say the wrong thing, or i wear the wrong outfit, they'll throw me right over the side. On the tiniest lifeboat."💛

💞V, K, H, C, E, A, B, J, E, E, A, S, L💞

🇵🇸river to sea, palestine will be free🇵🇸

💛Fandoms☟

Owl house, Stardew Valley, Craig of the Creek, Superstore, Gravity Falls, Amphibia, Big Bang Theory, She-Ra, Adventure Time, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, PJO, etc. (ik ik i’m a nerd) (p.p.s, if you want to know all of my fandoms and shit like that, go to my pinterest!!)

💛I do theatre and student council

DNI: DMs (im not allowed to talk to strangers online but if ik u irl then u can dm, or if you want to ask a simple question), Transphobes, homophobes, racist ppl, Z00s, N@Z!, s3xists, p0rn bots (im a fucking minor), p3d0s, nsfw.

💛Links☟

𖤐Pinterest

𖤐Spotify

𖤐Tumblr Community

𖤐My post about my series i’m working on

𖤐The first chapter of The Killer Circus!

𖤐Decorate my tree for Xmas!!

𖤐My userboxes are here: (im still working on it so i dont have a link 😔😔😔 srry)

Just remember that you are amazing <3 Like literally the best and i know that hearing that from a total stranger may sound crazy and creepy, but i genuinely care about my friends and mutuals. Have fun here, so yeah byeeee :]

[phoenix-writez]

Decided to post entry #1 here as some people may not enjoy reading things on ao3 :D

I'm not sure how to format the fic on tumblr, so feel free to give me criticism! (Constructive. Criticism. I will ignore insulting)

So, have fun with Scar's POV! It's in first person, so if you're not a fan of that... Sorry! I try to analyze the characters beforehand and write them as themselves! Scar's a silly little guy, so I hope I got that down!

—

Entry #1

[SCAR]

August 18, 1997

This place is fun, honestly! I got here just four days ago!

A theater filled with red and pink strobe lights, it feels rather disco-ey, if I'm being honest. There's a rather large stage where people step up and say whatever they want. There's actors, circus acts, and even singers. Or karaoke.

Why is karaoke spelled that way? It should be kareoke, but to each their own!

Either way, I've gone up there a few times just to sing songs from my favorite cartoons. Had a few cheers from the crowd, but not many.

I loved it here though!

When I first got to the theater, I had been with a few friends. I don't know where they went, lost track of them. I remember this guy welcoming us, holding out his hand and grinning fancily.

“Welcome, all! This is the Eye’s Spy Theatre!”

Trust me, it's not spelled theater. I learned the hard way.

“Want me to take you to your rooms?” The fella acknowledged each of us. He had a towel folded over his arm, just like a butler would in a fictional story. I tilted my head to the side like a dog, “Sir? No offense, but I don't recall this being a hotel.”

“Perhaps you missed the sign, but all is well, Scar Goodtimes, your room is already booked. First floor, as always! Can't be giving you anything further than that with your given situation, can we?” He says, then steps behind me.

I raise my hands, “WAIT– Hands off, fancy guy! Firstly, what do you mean?”

“How do you know his name?” My friend asked. Fancy Guy looked over, “When you book a room, we get your names on the screen. Besides, I know everyone in this town.”

Right.

—

August ??????

I woke up with a start, hearing a bang nearby. I pull myself onto my chair and roll onward, out of the room.

“What?! What happened–”

I look towards the stage, my breath slows. “Oh! Obviously.” I giggle, then I do a double take. What the– “What am I doing up there?!”

On the stage, was me in a weird outfit. I've never seen this kind of outfit before, honestly. Maybe some new fashion shaped itself in the six days I've been here.

Wait… how long has it been?

I blink, but I can't really think. My memory is kinda foggy.

I see more characters on the stage, some blue haired guy and this ginger lady clearly tired out and breathing heavy. I'm not sure if it was Hollywood level acting, or they were actually just overworked out of their minds.

I roll towards the bar, and no, this bar isn't necessarily an alcoholic bar you see at night time when everything else closes. I'm sixteen! I can't even drink anyway! I doubt rules changed that much when I've been here.

I grin at the tender, “Do you have anything other than really warm milk? It was you, after all, who said you'd make this the best experience possible y'know.”

“I… we do, in fact. Anything you want, dear hero.”

“Hero? My name is Scar, did you forget that fancy pants?” I smirk. “No. I did not.” He said flatly.

“Oh.”

“I'd like just a simple water, honestly.” I said. “Ah, only the crispiest we'll hand out for you.” The man kneels towards the shelves.

Huh? I blink. He's reaching up at them actually, I swear I've been seeing things.

I spend my time drinking the water and distracting myself from the fact I may have just met my walking doppelganger. Though he's using a cane, still those legs can work and I'm jealous.

Just kidding, I don't care.

—

After a few minutes, I nearly jump, but I keep my composure. Another guy, looks around my age but surprisingly short. I'd give him a… 4’11? Jeez, really needs a growth spurt by now.

He ordered an orange juice and stared into the distance. That's when he spoke to me, “Fun act, right?”

“I wasn't really interested, too confusing. What was that back there, some kinda jester or whatever?”

“I'd give it a 5 out of tried their best.” The short guy said, then he turned to look at me and giggled. “You look like one of the actors.”

“Must be a long lost brother.” I put my cup down and look at him, and woah. My eyes widened and I smiled awkwardly. “Well! That's a… so what's your name, orange juice?”

“Oh! My name's Grian.” He smiled so brightly. I chuckled, “Cool! My name is Scar.”

“Oh I know–”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, long story.”

“Everyone knows my name in this place!” I look back at the table in front of us. “That would be a given. This place isn't really, well, real.” Someone walked towards us both.

Actually, a group.

The actors.

“Aw, I'm getting a standing ovation from the fellas themselves–” I look around. “Where's the guy who looked like me?”

“Hi.” This strange lab coat wearing guy– oh! I know him. Cub?!

I blinked. How long ago did he show up here? Two days ago I saw him on the news and he looked much shorter, and he'd been running away from a police department, some sort of forensics office he'd blown up.

Cub raked his hands through his hair, it looked really messy. “I sorta used this weird amulet to change my appearance.”

“Are we still acting?” I asked, “Amulet, you say? Well, I simply cannot!” Immediately, my hand impacts my forehead dramatically. “... We're acting, right?”

“No.” Grian said, “Though he is lying, listen, Scar. I'm gonna ask you a really weird question and you have to answer me.”

“Uh-huh…”

“What year is it?”

“Oh! That's easy, 1997, duh! Did you guys hit your heads or something?” I smiled, chuckling. The bartender finally came by and gave Grian his orange juice. Then he vanished.

Grian grabbed his cup and he took a sip. “1997, hm? What if I told you it's not?”

“I wouldn't believe you.” I giggled. “I've been here for a week, duh! Got here just Monday with some of my friends. Where did they go, though?” I looked around. I still couldn't see them.

“They probably got out.” The sassy blue guy said, “Yeah, or stuck.” The ginger crossed her arms. I looked at them. “They’re just in their rooms.”

“Why don't we take a look then, huh? Where are their rooms?” Grian asks, I shift awkwardly. “...Third floor.”

“This thing doesn't have an elevator for you?” Cub asks.

“If a building ain't as tall as five stories, there's no need.” I lean back in my chair. “Which is, uh, needless to say, no.”

The ginger thought for a moment, then she grinned. “Tell them the numbers, and we'll go on from there. I'll stay back with you, just so you have someone near you!”

“I'm fine on my own.” I looked at her. “Absolutely not,” she glanced at me up and down, “genuinely, if I had to guess. You're dehydrated, probably haven't eaten much, and the moment you see the sun your eyes will wish you'd gone blind.”

“With these strobe lights? Might as well have gone blind already.” I shrugged, she stared at them. “They're LED now.”

“Meh! I think they always have been, luminescent and whatnot.” I said, “What's your name, by the way?”

“Gem. That there is Scott, he's uh… something, alright.” She sighed. Scott, the fancy blue guy, waves. “I'll go up third floor, what's the room?”

“Rooms, uh… 307, 315? I think?”

“Why are they so separated?” Grian’s eyes widened. “The rooms might've been taken between ‘em.” Cub immediately began his journey towards the stairs.

“Eight rooms between them?! Cub, there's seven people in this room!”

“Most people got drained after the second day and went to sleep. Haven't seen them since.” I added.

Grian paused. He looked at Gem, and they both seemed to come to an agreement. I heard Gem mutter, “Hypnos,” and she sat by me. Grian stood up.

“I thought that guy was fine by now! What's going on?” He grumbled. My head laid on the table like my neck had gotten exhausted from holding it. “Maybe he changed his mind.”

“Or maybe, this establishment is really old and he forgot to tear it down.” Grian sighed, then he took a step forward and looked at the ground.

“What's… this symbol doing here?”

“Aren't you supposed to be heading up to the third floor?” I said, for some reason my body felt like all the energy was getting sucked out of it. I don't know how, but everything in my field of vision was getting blurry. And Grian had sharp-ish ears, and an elven face. I swore he didn't look real.

Because he didn't.

I glanced at Gem, and she looked completely normal. Besides the fact that she was actively plotting something and had a sword in her belt. I don't know what I saw before, but I guess I just assumed she was in some sort of costume.

Everyone wears costumes around here. I've seen a giant guy with a hundred arms walk around here demanding for some cyclops guy, then he exited the building fine as that.

I felt nauseous, and everything went black.

—

I don't know. I don't know what today is. Everything is the same.

I wasn't out for long, fainting spells don't usually last longer than a minute. I woke up and everyone was staring at me with concern. “We found your friends.” Scott grimaced, “And we found you, doing the same thing as them.”

“I passed out, I don't know what happened.” I groaned, “Grian, since when were you an elf guy?”

Grian giggled, “I'm not an elf, idiot.”

“Why are your ears all sharp then?”

“Oh! That's just normal, I was born like that.” Grian shrugged, “But back to you. You passed out on our watch, which means this doesn't happen when you're on your own.”

“Possible.” Cub gazed at the floor, then he leaned and played around with the tiles like it was a puzzle. “What do you mean possible? We proved your hypothesis, thank you.” Grian tilted his head.

“What if we're not registered here?” Cub lifted himself, holding a brick that revealed a gaping hole underneath the building. “What if we're just simply wanderers with no true meaning to this place?”

“We'd still be people, hun.” Scott said flatly.

“Not in this place. I think this is an entirely different world compared to, well, Earth.” Cub grabbed a coin out of his pocket, and he dropped it into the abyss.

“Scar, do you perceive things differently than normal people?” He looked up at me. I couldn't help but think that this situation is way too serious for a random questionnaire I've had billions of times when I was younger.

The answer is yes.

It's always yes.

“When I was, like, six, my mom found me digging at the ground. It's ‘cause I heard some rattling, and I wanted to free the thing that was suffering. When I finally did, it was a skeleton monster! She grabbed me and pulled me away, told me never to do that again.” I started, “That those things are dangerous, that my father would be back and he would never want to see me playing with creatures I can't define.”

“I mean, a skeleton monster is pretty much accurate.” Grian laughed, “Wait, you don't know your dad?”

“Nope!” I smiled, “Always asked, was told he died.”

“...So how would he be back?” Scott squinted. “We had a ouija board in our house, although it's only for eight year olds and older, and I was barely able to simply sleep on my own.” I sighed.

But, the presence of the board didn't scare me knowing what it did. I quite like the idea of ghosts, and I know we had some in our house. They slept in the corners, watched me do my chores, and stared at me when my health declined.

Not much they could've done anyhow.

I felt my hands clenching on my legs, and I released them. “Uh… I never believed that. There was no grave we visited. Ever. She just said it like it was a fact from years ago.”

Cub nodded, then we heard the coin ding and slam itself into what sounded like concrete. I glanced at the floor. “What was that?!” I press my hands to the wheels of my chair. “Cub?!”

“I heard what I needed to hear.” He smiled, then simply disappeared.

We all stared where he left. “UGH! CUB!” Grian grabbed a knot of his own hair and tugged, but not pulling anything out. I gazed at the underground, and I swear I felt a calling.

Like I needed to be somewhere.

That's when the stupid butler grabbed all of us and dragged us out. “I do believe your time here is over, thank you for being so kind.” He shoved us out the door. I locked my chair and looked around, frozen.

“Where's Cub?! WHERE'S IMPULSE YOU–” Grian grabbed Gem and pulled her aside. She'd been yelling at the guy the whole time we were getting kicked out. I had no idea there was another person with them that had gone missing.

I had a theory, but it wasn't so friendly.

And I swear I could see that guy in a different form now that I had been placed outdoors.

He was tall, almost goopy, and I swear he had one giant eye in the middle of his face that stared deeply into your soul.

Normally I saw him as just this generic black-haired guy. He had this way about him that felt, well, casual yet business.

Like he was familiar with you but he didn't want to get fired.

I covered my face with my hands. Just thinking about my mother made me realize something.

“Guys, what year is it?” My tired eyes felt like they were dragging on the ground. I could just feel the hot pavement scraping my eyelids.

“...Scar, it's 2025.” Grian said.

“...Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

I stared at the outdoors, and felt like I'd been through multiple disasters at once.

“It was just a week…”

But now I realize how much time I truly spent there. And it doesn't make me too glad to know it.

[bun-lapin]

TWST OC Intro

Introduction for my NRC staff OCs:

Ingrid Oster (twist of Prince Hans from Frozen) Edric Rohdri (twist of AUTO from WALL-E)

(Bios and extra details under the cut)

A/N: It's time to meet the sciences professors! Making NRC staff OCs actually started with Professor Rohdri because I was thinking about technomancy in the game. Like, it's a pretty central theme for Ignihyde and for the Shroud brothers especially, right? So it stands to reason they should teach it at NRC! And thus, I imagined Edric Rohdri and the others quickly followed. For whatever reason, whenever I make OCs, I tend to make them in groups lol

Name: Ingrid Oster Age: 27 Staff Position: Sciences Professor (Introductory Alchemy, Medicinal Magic, Magical First Aid, Practical Magic), Faculty Supervisor of School Infirmary, Club Advisor to Film Research Club Personality: Ingrid Oster is an energetic and talkative professor. She loves sharing long conversations (and hot gossip) over a cup of tea, but is also very capable and diligent in her duties. She goes to great lengths to maintain an image of feminine charm with the latest fashions and trendy conversation topics. As the youngest in a family of thirteen daughters, she has always had an overwhelming need to be the center of attention and sometimes lets her jealousy of others get the better of her. When meeting new people, she can sometimes come across as a bit flirtatious. Unique Magic: An attention grabbing spell, anyone she casts the spell on becomes infatuated with her for the next 24 hours but then it can never be used on that person again. Also doesn't work on those with stronger magical abilities. Preferences:

Hobbies: Musical Theatre

Pet peeve: Not being the center of attention

Likes: Rice Pudding

Dislikes: Fast Food

Talent: Ballet

Name: Edric Rohdri Age: 37 Staff Position: Sciences Professor (Technomancy classes, Mathematics and Statistics, Geography), House Advisor to Ignihyde, Club Advisor to Board Game Club Personality: Edric Rohdri is an intellectual and slightly apathetic professor. He always has a blank expression and monotone voice no matter what is happening around him. He rarely shows his emotions and personally believes that logic and reason are the most important factors in making decisions. Despite his emotionless demeanor, he can be surprisingly talkative. If a topic he's interested in comes up, like maps or recent technomantic breakthroughs, he will infodump in a rapid monotone voice until someone makes him stop. However, he does not actively seek out the company of others and usually goes about his day in a way that he deems "most efficient". Unique Magic: Combat spell, creates a wheel of electricity that can be thrown at opponents, anyone hit by the spell will immediately turn and walk in the direction he points until they hit a physical obstacle. Preferences:

Hobbies: Math based puzzles

Pet peeve: Irrational behavior

Likes: Meal replacement shakes

Dislikes: Multiple course meals

Talent: Cartography

picrew source: one, two intro card source

[podado-t-memes]

Deaf Representation in Media (Image Description Included)

Full Disclosure, I am a Hearing woman so all information in these slides are from online Deaf resources (I linked below), but if anything is inaccurate or needs tweaking please let me know! I’ve also never written out the Image Descriptions so please let me know if I need to fix anything!

[ID 1: Four hands using ASL to spell out “Deaf.” The background has various still images of people signing “I love you,” Fingerspelling “Hawkeye,” and a title card from a show reading “The Boy from 6B.”

Then reads “Representation in Media” / end ID1]

[ID 2: Stock Photo of mother and child with Hearing Aids.

There is a statistical chart in the bottom left corner that reads “New Study of Hearing Loss among US adults aged 20 to 69. Who has hearing loss? 14% of adults aged 20-69 in 2011-2012. Prevalence of hearing loss has declined slightly from about 16% in 1999-2004.”

The caption around the picture reads “What is Representation? Representation is the portrayal of another culture or people/person in media that is done respectfully and not stereotyped.

Why is Deaf representation so important? Approximately 48 million Americans have some degree of hearing loss (Hearing Loss Association of America). Good Deaf and Hard of Hearing Representation can be very validating to those in the community because they can see themselves in these characters. Accurate representation can be educational for people outside the Deaf community to learn more about it in a non-stereotyped way.” / end ID 2]

[ID 3: Photo of the National Association of the Deaf logo.

The caption over the logo reads “ According to the National Association for the Deaf (NDA) proper media portrait of deafness should include:

The production should be accessible. Clear cooperation between Deaf individuals and all media personnel, interpreters, etc.

All terminology, when referring to Deaf or Hard of Hearing people, should be up-to date and not offensive.

All descriptions of Deaf individuals should be based on the people’s personalities and not be patronizing by including terms like they are “overcoming,” “inspiring,” “special,” etc.

Media should listen to the knowledge and ideas from those in the Deaf or Hard of Hearing communities, and not from those outside the community (even if meant well).

Media should make conscious steps to work with the other groups a Deaf individual might be part of such as other cultures, religions, ethnicities, sexualities, etc.

All media should be made accessible and available for all Deaf and Hard of Hearing folks.

/End ID 3]

[ID 4: In the Background is the poster for the movie “Coda.” Four people are looking into the camera and holding up the sign for “I love you.”

The caption over the poster reads “Recently, there has been an increase in the general public’s interest in Deaf stories with the success of the Movie “CODA” (2021)... But we still have a long way to go with Deaf Rep…” /end ID 4]

[ID 5: The image shows two sheets taken from the Deaf West theater. One shows What TV genres see the most and least Deaf representation? While the other is on what types of Deaf characters have hearing audiences seen represented in media.

At the top the caption reads “According to NRG and the Deaf West Theater…”

The caption below the charts reads “Depending on the type or genre of media an individual consumes may determine how much exposure they get to seeing Deaf people represented.

Even within the already small portion of Deaf people represented, there are even smaller subsections of minorities shown less in the Media.” /end ID 5]

[ID 6: The screen shot is of the NRG webpage article “NRG and Deaf West Theatre release roundtable film on Deaf representation”

The caption above the image reads “Linked below is a video from NRG and The Deaf West Theater where they are interviewing Deaf people in the creative industry (Writers, directors, actors, ect.) talking about their experiences with and the state of Deaf representation in today’s media. https://www.nrgmr.com/our-thinking/entertainment/nrg-and-deaf-west-theatre-release-roundtable-film-on-deaf-representation/” /end ID 6]

[ID 7: Caption at the top reads “Good examples of Deaf representation!”

Below we have pictures of 4 different Deaf characters. On the top left is Theo from Only Murders in the Building. Top right is Jackie from Craig of the creek. Bottom left is Marvel comics Hawkeye. And on the bottom left is Daphne from Switched at birth. /end ID 7]

[ID 8: Caption at the top reads “My personal favorite… Linda Bove (Sesame street from 1971-2002)”

Below the caption are 16 pictures of Linda throughout her time while on sesame street. Mostly she is with her co-star Bob. /end ID 8]

Resources:

[ashleywool]

I still don't know my "type" and I'm sick of caring about it

In the early years of my Broadway dream-chasing, I often had to grapple with the concept of "type." That is, what is someone's "type" as an actor? How does the industry view them physically and energetically?

Maybe this is an autism thing, but I still don't really get it.

I get it in theory, but in practice, it always feels...wrong. Because you're told that there are rules, but there are always exceptions to the rules. You're told that your "type" will naturally emerge depending on the roles you get callbacks for, the roles you get cast in, the roles you almost get cast in but someone else just fits better.

It is very easy for me to define my type in negatives, by the things I can't do. There are "obvious no" roles, and there are "roles I could theoretically play but am not a natural fit." The "obvious no" roles are things like Effie White or Lady Thiang. The theoretical-but-not-perfect roles are sometimes harder to define, especially to people not "in the business." It's a game of "just because I can doesn't mean I should."

For instance, I can hit the high notes, but I don't have the right "flavor" of soprano for Christine Daae. I can cut my hair and don overalls and Doc Martens, but I'm not convincingly butch enough to play Enid Hoopes. I can learn and capably execute most of the choreography in A Chorus Line, but I don't have the nuanced, expressive qualities required for Cassie or Sheila. I played Eva Perón in a community theatre setting ten years ago, and I'm still really proud of the work I did on that show, but I'm not Latina, so I wouldn't try to play the role in a professional production nowadays, because the culture has shifted to prioritizing ethnic authenticity in a way that historically we haven't. And sure, the real Eva was a white Latina with a similar ethnic background to mine, so my playing her is "passable" in that it's not as blatantly inappropriate as Effie or Thiang, but there's still a difference between being a "passable" fit and being the "right" fit. And those differences become all the more important when it comes to representing marginalized groups who have traditionally been denied opportunities to play roles that they are authentically right for. (See also: autistic actors.)

All this to say: between the shifts in the culture and my increased maturity and introspection as a theatremaker, I've gotten pretty good at typing myself out of things. But that still leaves a lot of stuff that I can do, and The Industry People™ expect me to define myself even more specifically within that pool. I am nowhere near as good at that as I think I'm supposed to be at this point in my career. What I think of my type still conflicts annoyingly often with what others think. Or at least what others think upon first impression.

As far as I can tell, the biggest reason for this is the "wait, how old are you?" factor. Apparently, I look a lot younger than I am. Okay, fine. I'm short and I moisturize. Presumably, this is a good thing, especially for women. Because, the patriarchy, I guess. But for me, it's been...confusing.

A common thread in my community theatre experience was, I would initially get cast in a "younger" role, and would then get to play the "adult" roles in later shows after the directors got to know me better. This was all well and good as a tiny baby actressling hungry for the diversity of experience, but those are the experiences that built my resume--and The Industry People™ have told me that from a professional standpoint, my resume gives them whiplash.

The same year I played Eva Perón, I played Logainne in Spelling Bee. The next year, I was in final callbacks for Star-to-Be in the national tour of Annie, but they also had me sing "Tomorrow" because they thought maybe I could swing for the orphans too. I was 28. The year I turned 30, I played a twelve-year-old Alice in Wonderland in a children's theatre production, and then played Amy in Company.

Then, I got my Equity card, which apparently knocked another fifteen-to-twenty years off my playable age. I am thirty-six. In the EPA casting breakdown for HTDIO swings, Jessica's age is listed as 20. Last week--last week--I was called in to read for a 16-year-old in a feature film.

And look, I'm not complaining about the teens-to-early-20s roles. They're not bad roles. I'll happily play them until you decide I can't get away with it anymore.

But it's getting really weird to still not be at that point, and to still not know when I will get to that point. It feels almost like I'm being gaslit. I say I want to audition for a role that's closer to my actual age, and someone says "oh no, you're far too young for that," and I say "I'm actually five years older than the age range listed," then they look at me like I have three heads. Like I'm the one who's confused about a basic, quantifiable numerical fact of my existence.

But what do they expect me to do? Lie about my age? I might have been able to get away with that before the Internet, but not now. One slip of "hokay, so here's the Earth" gives me away instantly.

So...where does this leave me and my whiplash resume?

Do I keep listing Alice and Logainne and Wednesday Addams and Iola the factory girl in Parade even though I know I'm too old for them now? How do I know when to remove them?

Do I keep listing the roles that are closer to my actual age--or roles that I was probably too young for when I played them but have now appropriately aged into--even though I know there will still be people who think I'm too young? How do I know when the pushback will stop?

And most of all, how do I know when it's finally okay to stop caring about any of this? Because I'm sick of caring about it, and so is every other actor in the world, because none of us signed up to care about it in the first place. I just originated a principal role on Broadway that defied all the odds of what people thought was possible on Broadway, and it's REALLY tempting to say "you know what, maybe this is just evidence that I'm a really good actress who can do a lot of different stuff, and I am not going to make other people's whiplash my problem anymore."

But...I don't think I get to do that yet.

I don't think the systematic machinations of the theatre industry have caught up with the multifaceted humanity of its actors.

I'm using this downtime to try to figure out what I can do to get there. For myself, and for all of us.

[perfectlyunlikelyunknown]

Back in 2018 i was extremely sick when i first watched this movie, I was a very young and naive kid and i vividly remember that when I saw the movie mental pain took over my physical pain like my heart broke into million pieces after watching laila majnu ending it gave me goosebumps and i couldn't control myself but broke down and kept thinking about this movie for weeks and months and I've a tendency of getting attached with my favourite movies and series.My connection to this movie is beyond words, a deep and unexplainable attachment that has woven itself into the very fabric of my being. It has become a part of me, a cherished piece of my soul that resonates with me on a level that defies explanation. Every movie of Imtiaz ali sir's holds a special in my heart. His characters hold a special place in my heart, and his movies are like magic, spelling binding me and transporting me to a different realm every time i watch them and the music in his films is another world altogether. When i first watched this movie it altered my brain chemistry and instantly became my favourite, i suggested it to everyone but they didn't watch it and called it cringe but i knew that one day it'll get the appreciation it deserves. I am convinced that art can save the world, and world needs more artists like Imtiaz ali, Avinash Tiwary and tripti dimri and the all the music artists they deserve the appreciation. if only I wasn't bounded by any societal norms or had an option of sitting all day in the theatre re watching laila majnu and other Imtiaz ali sir's movie , I'd have opted that.

Avinash Tiwary!!! Oh ! what have you done to us..... Should we call you qais? Or majnu? Or just Avinash thank you so much for doing Qais's character, you know that when life makes me numb and i want to cry my heart out or just having a bad day i re-watch this movie, thank you for letting my suppressed emotions coming through with your acting.I could feel the essence and emotions of your character in my bones. No one could've done Qais's role better than you. The performance was absolutely brilliant from Avinash and makes me question why isn't he a regular in Bollywood by now

The playlist of this movie has my whole heart ever since the release of the movie, laila Majnu songs rules over my Spotify playlists Each frame, each dialogue, each note of music is a brushstroke on the canvas of my soul, painting a picture of love, longing, and loss that I can never quite shake off.. This was the 9th time I re watched this movie and it still feels something different, unrealistic, beyond this universe. The real movie starts After interval which is mostly based on longing and yearning waiting and madness .The movie showed all stages of love Attraction, infatuation, love, reverence, obsession and death. - all stages of love laid bare before me, each moment a dagger to the heart, each scene a whisper of eternity. In another universe where infinite possibilities unfold like petals on a cosmic flower, there exists a reality where Laila and Qais found their way back to each other and they lived a beautiful life in that pahadon ke piche vala ghar

If Imtiaz Ali's films have a million fans, then I am one of them. If his films have five fans, then I am one of them. If his films have no fans, then I am no longer alive. For in the world he creates, in the characters he breathes life into, I find solace, I find truth, I find myself.

Forever grateful for the re-release, forever indebted to the magic of Laila Majnu.

-laiba

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

No Business Like Show Business | Part Four

Series Summary: you work backstage at a theatre and become close with the star of the show (who you may also have a slight crush on)

Pairing: James McAvoy x reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: like 2 swear words I think..? also not proof read because its 12.30am and I need to sleep but I really wanted to just get this out there so sorry if its shit

A/N: wow whoops how is it almost a year since I last updated this story?? I am so SO sorry, its been a difficult year but honestly THANK YOU for the comments and messages about this series. You guys keep me motivated to keep writing so thank you thank you thank you!! Feel free to substitute James for any actor of your choosing. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part Three | Masterlist

- - - - -

Sooooo, James McAvoy kissed me… I know right? WHAT?! 

Is this real life? Am I dreaming? Have I fallen through a wormhole into some alternate reality? 

All I know for sure is, Vera is bloody good at playing Cupid.  

— — — — 

Walking into the work the next morning you can’t help smile. Getting kissed by James McAvoy certainly has a way of putting a spring in your step. As you approach the theatre you notice more people hanging around than usual. There’s normally one or two guys with cameras hoping to catch a glimpse of James or Anastasia, but today there’s a whole group. And even more unusual is, they’re actually paying attention to you. 

“It’s her! Over here love!” 

“Flash us a smile?”

You shield your eyes as cameras flash brightly in your face, disorientating you as you try to reach the theatre door.

“How long have you been dating James?”

“What does Anastasia think about your affair?”

“Leave her alone!” A voice cuts through the noise as an arm comes around you and directs you safely inside. “Should be ashamed of yourselves, shouting at a young girl like that. Vultures!” Vera shouts before slamming the theatre door shut and turning to you “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine” you reply, even though your hands are shaking. “What the hell just happened? Why do they suddenly care about me?”

“You haven’t seen?” Vera asks, reaching into her bag and pulling out a magazine which she hands to you. There on the front cover is a photo of your face staring back at you. 

“What the…” you say in shock as you read the caption ‘meet the mystery girl who stole James’ heart’ along side a photo of the two of you smiling at each other in the coffee shop. “This is mental”

“It gets worse” Vera says as she opens the magazine to the article in which details about you have even printed for anyone to read along side a couple of your selfies taken from your instagram account. They found out your age, where you grew up, where you studied. 

“This is madness! It was just coffee, surely no one actually cares this much about who I am?”

“Just coffee..?” Vera asks “Because I have to say you do look quite cosy there”

“Well-”

“Miss Y/L/N!” Alan the director calls from down the corridor, startling you “A word please.” A statement, not a question.

You nod, taking a breath before heading down to meet him. He leads you into his office and closes the door, gesturing for you to take a seat. You notice a copy of the magazine on his desk. 

“Care to explain what’s going on here?” He picks up the magazine, pointing to the photo of you and James. 

“We went to get coffee” you reply simply, not quite understanding what all the fuss is about. 

Alan opens the magazine and begins to read “McAvoy and his new girl were spotted getting close as they talked and giggled together in cafe nero, leaving us to wonder if his relationship with girlfriend and theatre co-star Anastasia is in trouble. We cant wait to see how this backstage drama plays out.”

“Like I said, we just got coffee. People recognised James, saw me with him and put two and two together to get five.”

“Well I hope the coffee was worth it because I’m going to have to pull you from the production team.” 

“What?! No, Alan, sir, please-”

“I’m sorry Y/N, I’ll arrange someone to cover you”

“Alan?” James bursts through the door “sorry to interrupt but you can’t replace Y/N, she’s done nothing wrong. Its my fault we were there, I asked her to come. It was supposed to be a group thing but everyone else dropped out.” 

You feel your heart flutter at the fact he’s covering for you, even if he is bending the truth slightly.

“Look James, I understand it may have been a mistake but I cant risk this love triangle of yours effecting the show.” 

“There is no love triangle.” James laughs “All this is is two colleagues having a drink after work”

‘Colleagues’? You think to yourself, has he forgotten the kiss you shared after?

“Oh come on, you have to admit these photos look rather cosy” Alan points to the magazine.

“It was loud in there, we had to lean in close to be able to hear each other. It’s not Y/N’s fault that people are seeing something that isn’t there!”

You feel your heart sink as the words ‘something that isn’t there’ play on repeat in your mind.

“Fine, you can stay.” Alan’s voice pulls you back out of your thoughts. “But you’ll have to tell Anastasia” he directs the last bit to James who rolls his eyes. 

“So this was her idea then” James says.

“She’s just concerned about how this negative press could affect ticket sales.”

“That’s bullshit Alan and you know it!” The anger in James’ voice surprises you. You would never dream of talking to a director like that. “You’ve said yourself there’s no such thing as ‘negative press’. As long as people are talking about the play then people will come to see the play. Your words, not mine.” 

“I know” Alan sighs. 

“Ana is just jealous and looking to stir trouble, that’s what she does.”

“Yes but we need her.”

“Do we?” James asks, and a silence fills the room. You awkwardly glance between the two men, feeling uncomfortable being in the middle of this heated conversation. 

You clear your throat, causing Alan and James to look at you. For a moment you think they may have forgotten you were still there. “Can I go?” You ask. 

“Yes of course, apologies Y/N. You must have work to be getting on with.” 

You give a small nod and get the hell out of that room as fast as you can. 

— — — — 

You give yourself ten minutes to just sit when you get to the props room, head on the desk just processing the past 24 hours. 

James kissed you. Paparazzi are obsessing over you. Alan nearly fired you. 

“Hello dear- ooh, are you alright?” Vera’s voice fills the room, you didn’t realise you’d left the door open. 

“Yeah” you say sitting yourself back up in your chair. 

“Really?” 

“…no.” you respond honestly.

“What happened daring?” Vera takes a seat on the chair next to you. “I heard raising voices when I passed Alan’s office on the way here.” 

“Alan wanted to remove me from the production team. James stepped in and basically saved my job.” 

“Oh, well at least you're still here. That’s a good thing.” 

“Yeah, but he also said some things that I don't know how to feel about.” 

“Alan?” 

“No, James. He said we’re just colleagues and there’s nothing between us but yesterday at the cafe it kinda felt like a date and then when we got back here he kissed me so now I just really don't know-” 

“He kissed you!!”Vera interrupts, a mix of shock and glee on her face. You forgot you hadn’t had chance to tell her yet. 

“Yeah, but then he said all that-“

“That doesn’t matter darling, he was probably just saying that to Alan to keep you here. Have you talked to him?” 

“No, I haven’t been able to. This morning as not gone to plan at all.” 

“Well then I wouldn’t worry about it just yet. You need to speak to him.” 

“Hello?” James voice calls as he appears at the door. 

“Speak of the devil” Vera whispers to you with a cheeky smile as she gets up from her chair “Hello James dear”

“Don’t let me interrupt you” 

“No not at all, I was just leaving. See you later Y/N” she winks before disappearing out the room, closing the door behind her. 

James watches her and turns to you. There’s a brief silence a the two of you just look at each other, a small smile on your faces. 

“So I-” “I should-” you both say at the same time, making you both laugh. 

“Sorry you were saying?” You ask.

“No no, you go” he replies. 

“Okay, uh.. I just wanted to say thank you for sticking up for me with Alan.” 

“Of course, there was no way I would let him fire you.” 

“I don't think he would have fired me, but he was definitely about to remove from this production.”

“Oh! Well in that case…” James jokes and you playfully hit him on the arm “I’m kidding, I’m glad you're still on the team.”

“Yeah me too.” you say absentmindedly fiddling with a pen you found on the desk. He places a hand on top of yours, causing you to look at him.

“And I know it got you in trouble, but I really enjoyed our coffee yesterday.”

“It was good coffee” you say sarcastically. 

“You know what I mean…” he says with a laugh. 

“Do I?” You ask, pulling your hands away as you sit back in your chair and look at him “cause I’m picking up on some mixed signals here” 

“Was kissing you not a clear enough signal?”

“Well I thought it was, but then you said that we were just colleagues and that there was nothing between us”

“What? When did I say that?” He is genuinely confused.

“This morning, in Alan’s office. You said that people were seeing something that wasn’t there! So I got the hint that you didn’t actually like me and maybe you regretted kissing me or maybe you just kiss everyone like that-”

“Y/N” he takes your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him “What I said to Alan I said because I didn’t want you to lose your job. I didn’t mean it. Just like I do not kiss everyone the way I kissed you and I most definitely do not regret it.” He smiles at you the most genuine, warm smile which makes you smile back. “I really like you Y/N, and I would really like to kiss you again. If you’ll let me..?” 

He searches your eyes and as soon as you nod he leans in and gives you the most tender kiss you’ve ever received. You melt into him completely, but suddenly pull away. 

“Wait, what about Anastasia? I don't want to be part of some love triangle.” 

“There is no triangle Y/N. Ana and I are not together.” 

“But the papers said-”

“It’s fake news, set up by the people in charge of the theatre’s publicity. They think more people will want to buy tickets for the show if the lead actors are dating. It’s bullshit I know, but I’ve been forbidden from setting the story straight until after the show closes.” He pauses, giving you a second to take in what he’s explained “I understand if this is too complicated, you shouldn’t have to be dragged into this mess and I wouldn’t blame you if you told me to get lost-“

Now its your turn to interrupt him. You pull him into you and kiss him, passionately. 

Eventually you pull apart slightly, wrapping your arms behind his neck and looking up at him. “Was that a clear enough signal for you?” You joke.

“Hmm, I’m not sure. I think you need to show me again” he winks and you return to your new favourite hobby; kissing James McAvoy… 

Part Five

Taglist: (if you want to be added/removed please let me know)

@halfofwhatisayismeaningless @internetgremlin-reads @blahblahblah0987654321 @mcavoy-girl @username21mk 

Also please bear in mind I can't reply to comments on fics from this username as its a sideblog but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate them. your comments give me LIFE 💛

[zalrb]

Scream VI Review (since anon asked)

OK. So, the thing about the original Scream movies is that the meta isn’t contained to a couple of info dump scenes where someone explains the rules of the movie they’re in and rattles on about the wider trends in media.

It’s inherent in the dialogue and in the choices the movies make. Billy is pressuring Sidney to have sex and says that they’re “edited for TV”

and uses film ratings to describe his frustration

then when Sidney decides to do something risque, we don’t see it because Scream is “editing their relationship for TV”

when they discuss who the killer could be, Tatum uses Basic Instinct as an example of how a woman can be a killer

it’s in the fabric of the movies.

this scene

is like any other scene in a horror movie, it doesn’t have the irony of a scene like this

because this scene is simultaneously making fun of and paying homage to horror movie tropes with the added layer of Jamie Kennedy going “Jamie watch out” when yelling at the TV because it’s Jamie Lee Curtis onscreen.

Having a shrine with evidence from the other movies in a movie theatre with dialogue like this

isn’t enough.

Playing Red Right Hand at the end when it played at the beginning of the first movie while the mask burns onscreen isn’t really much of anything, like I think the shot and the callback is great

especially because it’s as if Richie directed the movie of his sociopathic family dying at the hands of their victims who are the children of Billy, like I get all of that but it didn’t really stay with me because for the most part, Scream VI is a generic horror movie that isn’t funny, which is another problem. The original scream trilogy was also funny.

Like, if you’re talking about things are bigger in a franchise, in keeping with the spirit of Scream, that should be made fun of in this movie, where things get progressively more ridiculous and outrageous and bloody that I laugh out loud,

Because throughout the first three Screams (maybe even the fourth too) there were so many meta jokes that contributed to the irony and the breaking of the fourth wall. Besides Tori Spelling playing Sidney

after Sidney made a crack about it

while the clip of Stab makes fun of the choices made in the first Scream movie, thereby poking fun at Tori Spelling as well as at themselves

with LUKE WILSON playing Billy??

There are also things like, at the time, David Arquette (who plays Dewey) and Courtney Cox were together so having him say this line referencing David Schwimmer who is Courtney’s onscreen brother in Friends is like haha

The thesis of this installment is character assassination

and it’s done in such a generic way and it would’ve been more interesting to really lean into how serial killers are immortalized and glamorized in society and the victims have to fight to be heard but ANYWAY when Scream 2 wanted to make a commentary on being desensitized to real world violence because of film, and the way reality and fiction bleed together, it does it in a very ham-handed way but it’s outrageous and entertaining and still rooted in film

and the debate happens in the first 20 minutes

the debate about sequels doesn’t stay within the confines of the Scream/Stab universe

they actually pay homage to other movies as characters

and I think the fact that the Scream franchise was also a franchise in love with movies, which made it fun and witty and smart got lost when KW stopped writing for the movies, which is why I’m always “meh” about them now. Like the villains of this one are a family of serial killers and NO ONE is going to mention Texas Chainsaw Massacre??

Man, I miss my meta.

[whenimgoodandready]

*Goosebumps (2023) Season 2 Theories

I read that the producers were really interested in expanding the new Goosebumps series’s by adding in the other books, most definitely Night of the Living Dummy ones, and that’s awesome! I mean, think about it, Kanduu said he can unleash more monsters, weeeeeeell what if he meant the monsters from the other books! 🤩It’s the perfect seasonal plot for Season 2! He could unleash all the other monsters and we’d get them all for Season 2! Picture this:

Calling All Creeps!-This can be about Kanduu summoning all the monsters to awaken and them slowly coming alive.

The Girl Who Cried Monster-I wanted Margot to be the one to tell the others about the monsters coming back, but then I thought, maybe Allison should! We barely knew anything about her other than being Isaiah’s jealous girlfriend, so maybe this’ll give her some characterization and become a member of the group finally when she sees there’s more to life than just the social status of high school.

Monster Blood-One fan suggested this when they said that the dupes blood can be the monster blood, but what if it’s the blood of the monster the teens defeat and when they think they won, the blood slowly moves to its next host to possess!?

The Beast from the East-Those creatures (not all the monsters are caused by the monster blood mind you, some are original monsters from the temple that were unleashed) can play that overly complicated game of tag with the teens. Also, for those who read the books, if one of the “dupes” survived, the beasts will let them go as they’re “Level 3” players😉

The Werewolf of Fever Swamp-The monster blood gets on a lone wolf dwelling in a swamp and infects it turning them into a werewolf.

The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight-The monster blood gets ahold of a simple scarecrow that attacks people at midnight.

The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb-The monster blood gets onto to a mummy at an Egyptian exhibit in a museum that awakens it from its sleep.

Phantom of the Auditorium-The monster blood infecting an actor in the schools/town theatre’s play of “The Phantom of the Opera” and kidnapping people to be the only star.

Attack of the Mutant-The monster blood infecting a cosplayer at a comic con into the character from the graphic novel, but they’re evil and delusional to think everyone at the convention is the real deal.

The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena-The monster blood infecting a yeti statue outside of an ice cream parlor in Pasadena the teens were at for a traveling thing.

Vampire Breath-Not an actual vampire in the show per se, but what if a student accidentally created this kind of potion and it’s fumes turned people into blood sucking monsters!?

The Blob That Ate Everyone-The monster blood forming together to create a giant blob that consumes everything.

How to Kill a Monster-After finding out how all these monsters keep showing up, Margot will try to figure out a way to stop it from the spell book she now has. She’ll also use it throughout the season as a guide to look up the monsters and find other spells to repel them.

——————————————-

For the Night of the Living Dummy, these will go deeper into the Kanduu storyline when he now possess Mr.Bratt.

Night of the Living Dummy lll-This’ll pick up right where we left off with Mr.Bratt discovering Kanduu isn’t dead and getting possessed again. Poor guy can’t catch a break!

Slappy's Nightmare-This’ll deal with Kanduu before the war and how his life was growing up in the 19th century and he probably didn’t have a good life judging by that era (dirt poor? abusive parents, no friends, etc.) which got worse by the war.

Bride of the Living Dummy-This one I’m excited about cuz what if Kanduu had a love interest that they forgot about due to obtaining all that power, but then something triggered that memory. Maybe he sees all these happy couples (ex.Margot and Isaiah) and remembers his sweetheart, Mary Ellen! Maybe he’ll try to bring her back by using a doll he bought from a garage sale and going to her grave to say a spell to bring her back!? Or a teacher from the school falls for Mr.Bratt and Kanduu (still possessing him) will use her as the vessel to bring Mary Ellen back!

[cakegatedisaster]

Any other book recs bestie ?

DO I

(these are all some sort of gay FYI)

Captive Prince, by C. S. Pacat- fantasy vibes, kings and queens, no magic but it doesn't need it, three books, VERY morally grey main character, you really need to love complete assholes to enjoy this one (thankfully I do). Sword throwing, pretend identities, it's illegal to be straight, EXTREME enemies to lovers, they fucking hate each other, politics, but in a nice way, evil-plot-to-take-over-the-thrown shenanigans. EVEN MORE trigger warnings than aftg, like, so many, but nothing happens on screen. Second favorite series ever, right after aftg.

Wolfsong, by TJ Klune- Werewolves, little age gap, magic systems, found family, kinda second chance romance but not really, sad and happy, some violence, like 5 books, each with a different couple, very cheap on Amazon, you will cry.

Not Even Bones, by Rebecca Schaeffer- DARK, so dark, main characters are definitely the villains from anyone elses perspective, magical realism, sorta romance but not really, very plotty, very dramatic. For this series, I would also recommend the webtoon on Webtoon, it's free and has amazing art (but you should pick one, because there's three books and the comic is on the last one), this is another one where you really have to like bad people, or at least exceptionally morally grey people to really enjoy it. Highly recommend.

Summer Sons, by Lee Mandelo- holy shit this is so good, so dark and gritty, very Gothic-like vibes, main character is an absolute disaster being haunted by the love of his life, love interest is the definition of white trash and it's wonderful, I talk about it a little bit on here, go read it.

Damn these are all kinda dark, here's some happy ones:

Red White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston- funniest book I've ever read, so gay it makes you feel like you're vomiting rainbows, a little political but it's easily ignored, rivals to friends to lovers, the movie is mid, read the book first.

The DRAMA series, by Paul Ruditiz- no one ever talks about these and it BREAKS MY HEART because it's so good, I've reread it so many times, this is for the theatre kids who want to feel seen, light and happy and fluffy, with genuine male/female friendship, and a developing relationship you never could have guessed, you can read them all in a day.

Carry On, by Rainbow Rowell- just the author's name should clue you in, imagine drarry but canon and gayer than you could imagine, vampire and wizards who cast spells with nursery rhymes, technically a trilogy but the first ones also a good stand-alone, absolutely perfect.

Song of Achilles, by Madeline Miller- I lied, this one is not just happiness and rainbows, a retelling of the tale of Achilles, read when you're in a good spot or you'll jump off a roof, but still go read it because it's something special, a future classic without a doubt (also go listen to Achilles Come Down on YouTube, it'll put you in the right mood)

That should keep you occupied for a min

[sanguine-inkwell]

I feel like I've neglected the blog again, so! Mod Smoke here again. Time for an update on the sanguinarian shenanigans.

I've added a few books to my reading list, and the one on my bedside table is Energy Magick of the Vampyre by Don Webb. I tend to keep my own council and use several grains of salt when it comes to witchcraft, especially when people start spelling magic with a k, but I can definitely see how this could scratch some of the itch. For better or for worse, there's something predatory and preening about the nature of the vampire, and the more educated you are about yourself and your options the easier it is to take your urges out for a little run in healthy ways.

I'm on the fence about auras, energy, and all of that, but I'm a theatre kid at heart. The power of presence and presentation, the intersection of stage magic and religious ritual, is absolutely a real tool. Mod Glass is more straightforward about it- she definitely believes, and to my eternal bafflement she manages to feed on trees and flowing water. I can definitely believe in that, and the way she's a little less primal after sitting in a park for an hour. Clearly something is being achieved there, so it's possible- I'm just tragically doomed to my own version of cynicism, and thus the awkward anxiety of trying to ask the butcher for blood.

(I still haven't.)

I've got my coconut water, my pomegranate juice, my aesthetic and my interests. It's enough for now. I don't know if I'm flourishing, but I'm nearer that than not, so I'll take what I've got.

I think in a lot of ways it's easier to separate what you "should" want from what you do want. Especially when you're a teenager, you want the validation of community- community for its own sake, to some extent, but also a mirror to tell you you're real.

I fell into that when I found the otherkin community, pagans, all of it- if I let myself keep on with that, I'd still be content with the idea that dragons are supposed to crave eating rocks or hoarding shiny things. That's not what I need, or even what I really want. I want community, and I'm not going to find it by conforming to any standards, or I quite simply wouldn't be me. I try to hold onto "build it and they will come", for better or for worse, but I do go looking in my own way.

You don't net as much weird, queer, and othered community in the Bible Belt as you might expect unfortunately. It's a work in progress.

Back on the more direct topic though, I'm having fun snatching the other mods for deep philosophical discussions over drinks. I think it named itself Mod Citrine...? It's not on here often, mostly because it's even less inclined to the kind of theatrics I get up to. No roses and candles and gothic spires for that one. We feed on different things, I think, when it comes to blood- and that's why I can't entirely write off the possibility of some strange unquantifiable energy being involved. It's incredibly, deeply intimate for me, and for a moment I could almost convince myself I do have powers beyond doing mostly even eyeliner wings. It's definitely not the same kind of power or even hedonistic high that comes from sex, but I can't define it to save my life except through poetry.

For Citrine... it prefers not to call itself a vampire except by the strictest definition. If pressed, it'll say alterhuman or otherkin, but mostly for someone else's benefit so they can slap a label on and move on. It's not a vampire with all the bells and whistles the way myself, Glass, and Key are, with the gothic yearning and nocturnal tendencies and the fifteen different types of black lipstick on top of the hunger for blood. It calls itself an object spirit, a thing that had enough sentiment attached to it to get reincarnated, with some urges left over. Objects aren't animals, aren't primal the way animals are- but the desires and dreams attached to them are human, in a way, as much as they're not, divorced from the breadth of human emotion and distilled into inhuman too-clean drives, the way a storm or a mountain has drives.

Even so, it has a relationship with blood, just like I have a relationship with blood, and that interests me. I come at it from the perspective of a vampire, the hunger of the human predator that seeks to thrive, and then beyond thriving seeks their own pleasure. Citrine comes at it from the perspective of a sword, skill and fulfilled purpose and occasionally even as an offering. Not a biological hunger, not in the same way, but a hunger of purpose. Maybe ideology or identity. It makes some sense. As a vampire, I have to feed. The community itself is proof enough that the definition of feeding is varied. A sword would want blood, and specifically blood, because that's what it's built for and meant to do.

Needless to say, next time I make my substitute I'm offering some and seeing what it thinks. Partially for science. Partially because I'm pretty sure it'll work and I want to see the look on Citrine's face. Join me in pretentious vampire hell, I drink pomegranate juice out of wine glasses and it's very very fun.

That said, dinner's almost done, so I'll leave off here. Have a good night!