#should i keep commenting on the episodes like this while watching it? maybe i'll make a poll about it later to know what y'all think

[itsallaboutbl]

YEEEES!!!! YOU TELL HIM TOP!!!!

[azrielbrainrot]

Hot Blooded

Pairing: Eris Vanserra x F!Reader

Kinktober 2024: Cuddle for Warmth

Description: You and Eris have to keep each other warm when you find yourselves stuck in a cabin during a snow storm.

Warnings: Smut, fingering, vaginal sex, riding, dirty talk

Word Count: ~2,4k

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Notes: This was initially supposed to be a temperature play focused story but it turned into this instead, I hope that's okay!

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

Walking into a small cabin in the middle of nowhere after being stuck in the snow for hours only to find all of the windows were broken and there were holes in the ceiling felt like a cruel joke. If you were alone you might have even cried at how frustrated you felt. You were beyond freezing, the wet clothes you wore only making it worse, and exhausted, both mentally and physically.

Just as you were preparing yourself to walk back out and brave the storm, Eris closes the door behind him and makes his way to the middle of the room, studying his surroundings. There really wasn't much to see, just an old couch missing most of its pillows and broken pieces of wood. If you gathered them it might have been enough to start a fire, especially with his powers, but since the windows couldn't keep the wind out there would be no use in even trying.

“Eris,” you call out, waiting for the Autumn Court heir to look up at you, “We can't stay here.”

“Why not?”

He asks so dismissively that it takes you a few moments to recover. In the meantime he keeps pacing around the room, picking up a blanket that looked like it was hanging on by a thread. Maybe the cold was messing with his brain or something.

“I'm not made of fire. I will freeze to death,” you explain slowly as if you were talking to a child.

“I can't keep a fire going in here either,” he continues your line of thought, at least letting you know the cold wasn't affecting his thinking skills, “but we can't keep going until the snow storm slows down.”

A defeated sigh escapes you. While it was true that going back out there was out of the question since it was only a matter of time before your body gave out, staying here wasn't much better, you can already feel your body getting colder from standing still.

“Are you sure you can't winnow out?” You already knew the answer, your own power being denied to you, but you can't help asking just to make sure.

“Yes, I can barely access my powers as is,” he responds, sighing like you were a petulant child, “Whatever ward was set around this place is extremely powerful.”

“I thought you were supposed to be extremely powerful too,” you bite back.

Eris simply rolls his eyes, not even attempting to argue with you. This meant he had to be even more exhausted than you initially thought, or he wouldn't have let you get away with that comment. You watch as he throws the old blanket he found to a corner, the one where the air coming from the broken windows didn't hit as intensely, surprising you even more when he takes off his thick jacket right after.

“What are you doing?”

“This blanket won't be too much help in this situation,” he says as if it explained why he was taking his clothes off in the middle of a snow storm.

“Then why are you stripping? That's going to make it worse.” You move closer to him, raising your hands, debating if you should stop him from unbuttoning his shirt during what had to be some sort of manic episode.

“Our best bet right now is keeping each other warm through our body heat,” he starts, watching your face go through a myriad of emotions with amusement, “Like you said, my body is made of fire so to speak. I'll keep you warm.”

This made sense, you knew that, in fact you were a bit ashamed you didn't immediately think of it, but as he takes off his shirt slowly your thoughts scatter. By the time you manage to get your body to start moving, Eris had already stripped down to his underwear, placed his damp clothes over the couch to hopefully dry, and sat on the corner, covering himself with the blanket.

He looks up at you expectantly, tilting his head slightly when you simply stare back. “I don't want to rush you, sweetheart, but if you don't hurry we will actually freeze to death.”

Swallowing and averting your eyes, you reach for your jacket, taking it off and placing it next to the rest of his clothes. You can't help but hesitate as you hold onto the hem of your shirt, unable to ignore the amber eyes burning into you.

“Close your eyes,” you whisper.

“Seriously?” He asks with a chuckle, complying with your request all the same, eyes already closed when he adds, “Didn't take you to be this shy.”

You usually weren't, definitely wouldn't be when it came to a situation concerning life or death such as this one, but the mostly naked person in front of you was Eris, the infuriatingly beautiful male who could get under your skin like no one else.

The moment his shirt started coming off, you were reminded of a party a few years ago, where both of you had gotten lost in your drinks and shitty lives and forgot that you were supposed to hate each other, making out right outside the bar. No matter how many years passed you still could feel his warm hands holding onto your waist, lifting you up against the wall, and the taste of his lips on yours.

Dropping the rest of your clothes over the couch, you move to him, the shivers running up and down your body not all caused by the icy wind whistling through the windows. Lingering in front of him for only a second before turning around and sitting in his lap, trying not to think about the fact that his bare skin was pressed against yours.

His hands fall on your waist as soon as he feels you in front of him, helping you get settled in silence, but he only opens his eyes after the blanket is draped over your body.

There was no doubt in your mind that you were both reminded of that same night, and maybe of all the others where a simple word or touch could have triggered the same reaction. You were getting warmer already without the cold clothes clinging to you, and while you hadn't meant it literally, it did feel like his body was made of fire as your cold skin lay against his chest. You don't know if he was using his magic to warm himself up further but it was making you melt into him.

“We shouldn't have come without backup,” you whisper, adjusting so you weren't leaning on his shoulder so much, the silence between you making you far too aware of your position. In truth, you barely remembered why you were there in the first place at this point, but you needed to say something.

“There was no one else I could trust,” he says, one of his arms wrapping around your middle, chest rumbling against your back as he spoke, “at least we know for certain something is hiding here or there wouldn't be any need for such a barrier in the middle of the mountain.”

You hum in response, not knowing what else to say, trying to sit up straighter again when you feel him tense up against you and his hold on your body tightening. At first you thought you could have hurt him, but when he doesn't say anything else or move again, you turn your head around in question, only feeling something poking against your backside when you meet his amber eyes.

“You need to stop moving,” he murmurs, half lidded eyes staring back into yours.

Swallowing around a dry throat, you turn back around, staring into the furthest wall and trying your best to distract yourself, counting down the seconds and imagining yourself sitting at a chair instead of on the lap of Eris fucking Vanserra. Trying to remember why you ever hated him in the first place, replaying in your head all the times you annoyed each other, all the petty fights and vile words you spit at each other. Your efforts are all in vain though, a different kind of heat manifesting itself in the pit of your stomach, especially as you're also reminded of all the times he was there for you, of the reason you had come to the middle of nowhere at his request with no questions asked.

A curse escapes him, head falling back to hit the wall behind you as both his and your scents start thickening, to the point even the icy wind circulating around the room couldn't mask it. You can't be sure what was going through his head, but you can almost hear his control snapping before he lays his hand over your stomach, pulling you closer into him, warm palm sending goosebumps across your skin.

“Eris,” you whisper, whether telling him to stop or keep going you weren't sure.

He shushes you, lips finding the side of your neck at the same time his hand moves lower, quickly finding the hem of your panties, warm fingers moving side to side just above it, making you tremble as they awaken your frostbitten skin. “We have to wait until the storm settles anyway. Why don't we make up for some lost time?”

“Lost time?” Eris hums behind you, the vibration rumbling under your skin.

“Haven't been able to stop thinking about that night even after all this time,” he starts, hand moving under your panties, quickly finding your clit and rolling it between his fingers, purring at the little noises escaping you. “If we hadn't been interrupted I would have fucked you right there.” He throws one of your legs over his so he could spread your thighs more, inserting a finger into you slowly as his other hand moves under your bra, teasing your nipple softly. “Fuck, I've been thinking about this ever since I first layed eyes on you.”

Your moans rise in tempo as he fucks you slowly, warming you up from the inside. Part of you was convinced you had actually fainted in the snow and were simply stuck in a weirdly realistic dream, but this wouldn't have been the first time he showed up in your dreams and they never felt quite like this.

His warm hands felt heavenly against your still too cold body, and the little kisses and bites he was leaving around your neck were driving you absolutely insane. You were also not surprised that even in this situation he couldn't keep his smart mouth shut, the sinful words he whispered in your ear only sending you further into madness, hips moving into his hand, grinding back into his hard cock at the same time.

A familiar knot starts coiling itself deep inside you, a whine of his name escaping before you reach for his hand and stop him. Just as he freezes and goes to ask what was wrong, you turn in his arms, kissing him before he has the chance to. You'd been craving his touch for so long that you wanted to do this properly, needed to see him and touch him, needed to taste him again.

He kisses you back immediately, hands falling to your waist as you straddle him, one hand reaching between your bodies to find his hard cock, swallowing the moan he lets out, both uncaring of the blanket falling around you.

The way he was fucking up into your hand, his own gripping your hips tight enough to bruise, almost makes you want to watch him fall apart under you like this, but you needed him too much, the same frenzy you had felt that night all those years ago returning, except you couldn't blame the alcohol this time.

You lift your hips and line his cock with your entrance as he pushes your panties to the side, staring into each other's eyes as you slowly lower yourself on him, moaning out at how deliciously he stretches you out.

Pulling you back down for a kiss, he starts guiding your hips up and down his cock, your hands getting lost in his silky hair, grabbing onto his shoulders for leverage, nails biting into his skin as pleasure overtakes all your senses. You couldn't even feel the cold against your heated skin, it could have started snowing inside the house and you probably wouldn't have stopped.

He was right you needed to make up for lost time, you can't believe you've been missing out in this, on him. Eris pulls away so he can watch you, blown out eyes staring into yours like he could find salvation in your gaze.

“Don't stop, doll.” You moan out at the pet name, at his deep voice begging you to keep going. “Need to feel you cum around my cock.”

As much as you usually hate taking orders from him, this one you were more than happy to follow, speeding despite the way your muscles ached, letting yourself get lost in the pleasure, in the feeling of his warm skin against yours, in the way his teeth sank into your skin as he chased his own high.

It crashes over you, taking your breath away as you both cling on to each other, curses and moans of his name escaping your lips, grinding into him until sensitivity has you trembling. He pulls you in for another kiss, savoring each other's taste and warmth, leaning his forehead against yours as he whispers, “I'm not letting you get away this time.”

You let out a sigh, pecking his lips again, eyes fluttering open, leaning back so you can watch him. One of your hands reaches to cup his cheek, the vulnerability in his eyes almost taking your breath away. Eris Vanserra always wore a mask, a cruel and twisted mask that had been meticulously crafted over the centuries, and as much as you've caught glimpses behind it, you had never seen him so open.

“I'm not going anywhere, Eris,” you promise, letting him kiss you again.

You spend the rest of the night cuddling under that blanket, so wrapped up in whispered confessions and sweet promises that neither of you notices the snow had stopped falling and the first rays of sunrise were already filtering in through the clouds.

[everythingblackblack]

I'm too lazy to make this a fanfic, so I'll just comment on my thoughts.

Do you remember that episode where Hattori and Hakuba confront each other? Well, I wanted to do a little rewriting on this one.

Imagine Hakuba talking to his friends, specifically Aoko and Kaito, telling them that he returned from London to participate in a television show.

Clearly, Aoko drags Kaito and Akako to her house to watch it, but they are surprised to not find the "koushien detective" show. Akako uses her powers to discover where Hakuba is and by observing him through her crystal ball they realize that he is trapped on an island.

They observe what happens there for a while and chat a little.

Kaito: It seems that Hakuba's father keeps comparing him to other detectives.

Aoko: I hate when he says he's not Japanese enough!

Aoko: Hakuba is quite Japanese!

Akako: I don't think I should blame others because his father is stupid, but I understand where his words come from.

Aoko: Plus, Hakuba is better than that fool Shinichi Kudo! Hakuba is the representative of the east!

Kaito: Shouldn't we focus on going to rescue him?

Akako: I've never been to that island, so I can't teleport us.

All this backstory to say, I really like the idea of ​​Kaito going to find Hakuba in a helicopter while he yells "Hebo-tantein!" and Hakuba responds with "Looks like the circus came for me." NOTE: I think Hakuba mentions TOO MUCH how disappointed he is that Hattori is not "a good detective", it made me think a lot that maybe his father compares him to Shinichi and Hattori, but more so to Hattori because he is also the son of a police officer.

Hakuba is probably very envious of Shinichi's title of "Heisei Sherlock Holmes."

[the-words-we-sung]

Discovering Young Royals

So now that I've lurked a bit around the Young Royals fandom I wanna try and be a bit more active ^^ It feels a bit weird to arrive so late because it seems like everything has probably already been said >< So I hope my little thoughts here and there won't just be redundant for fandom people! I've been thinking about it and I think I wanna write my thoughts, and questions and various comments about the show, probably going episode by episode! And I'll add some pretty pictures (I should learn how to make gifs :o)

For tonight though I'll just write up kind of my first thoughts and reactions while watching the show for the first time ^^

ᴥ I'm not proud of admitting it but I started watching the show because I was a bit bored, a bit sick and wanted to kind of "hate-watch" something >< I thought it would be a very elitist kind of show with insufferable royal people! Boy was I wrong...

ᴥ Wilhelm is a cutie pie and made me love the show so much, almost right from the start. His image of angry teenage prince got replaced so fast by just the reality of an anxious (soft) boy, in the span of an episode! His interaction with Simon at the end of episode 1 sealed the deal for me...

ᴥ The show is so so so well made!! It's beautiful and the music is absolutely phenomenal!! All the young actors are incredibly talented (and gosh is Edvin so very good ><) and it's just such a pleasure to watch :o

ᴥ I love love love how "real" it feels!! The actors look the good age for their characters, they look so fucking real, like I 100% believe that these characters are teenagers! I love the choice of not putting lots of make up on them and letting them keep their "real" skin. It's so freaking refreshing!! I don't really know of other shows who do that!! (Also I come from the Glee fandom so: the actors playing teenagers were definitely not looking like teenagers, they all had flawless skins and were ""perfect"" (aka in the beauty standards) looking so having skinny boys and girls with different and real-looking bodies feel so good! Maybe the difference also comes from the fact that Glee was a US show and YR is a Swedish one?)

ᴥ I feel very lucky that I was able to watch season 1 and season 2 back to back! It must have been so hard for you guys to wait for season 2 >< And I'm lucky again that season 3 will probably be there in not too long!

ᴥ August is such a well written character!! A truly interesting "villain" who makes me feel almost some sympathy at times o_o

ᴥ I have very mixed feelings and complicated thoughts about Sara...

ᴥ The chemistry between Edvin and Omar is insane.

ᴥ Yuk Marcus!

ᴥ But all the love for Felice <3

ᴥ And Omar is the prettiest human being ever. I am now officially a fan. (He gives me SO.MUCH gender envy...........)

These were all kind of scattered thoughts going through my head while I binge-watched the show the first time!

(Also it made me want to learn Swedish so I've started doing that on Duolingo and I'm now obsessed with this language xD (But gosh, pronunciation is a nightmare...) So if any Swedish people wanna chat, I need training :p)

Gonna stop there for this freaking long-ass post and keep my rantings and chattiness for another post :D

[dr-futbol-blog]

Conversion, Pt. 11

Back in the cave of horrors, Sheppard's team as led by Major Lorne have reached bug central. While they are all horrified, McKay seems to be the only one who lets his fear show. It is paradoxical that he comes across as the bravest one of them all in feeling the fear, letting his fear show and standing there anyway, where the others are just as frightened and are too afraid to let it show besides.

Dex: They'll defend their young. McKay: Maybe we should make a diversion. Lorne: Are you volunteering? McKay: I'll shut up.

It seems as though here we are looking at Teyla, Lorne and Ronon through McKay's eyes, as he turns his head and we then get the night-vision view of them. And every one of them turns to look back at him even though they are surrounded by lethal critters that they ought to keep their focus on. They seem judgemental as they look at him, although that might just be the vibe McKay gets from them, as he quickly backtracks his suggestion and volunteers to keep quiet. But it is interesting that they all react the same way to a rather innocuous but perfectly valid comment. It is moments like this that make McKay feel like people do not appreciate his company.

As far as plans go, McKay's idea of a diversion is not worse than Beckett's "Let's go get them". They do not have the time to think things through and come up with an actual plan of action. A diversion might well have worked but they have no way of implementing one right in this moment. But this is relevant for later, after Sheppard escapes his nest and they have to hunt him down. Ronon does exactly what McKay proposed here, he uses a diversion to be able to take Sheppard out unawares. It was not a bad plan. And clearly Ronon had heard him.

What is interesting here is that they explicate the strategy used in the episode with regards to the subtextual narrative. By creating a diversion--Sheppard kissing Teyla, Sheppard's scenes with Weir--they managed to slip in some tangible evidence for McKay's relationship with Sheppard. And McKay has been keeping quiet this episode, we have barely seen him around. We feel his absence because as we miss him, so does Sheppard.

Teyla: I do not believe we can get close enough to retrieve the eggs without these creatures attacking. Beckett: I have this... but I need to get under that. Hand me that water canister. If there's one thing we know about these little buggers, it's that they hate salt water.

Note that it is McKay who hands Beckett the canister of salt water that he requests, and he certainly remembers the price they had to pay to get that information. He also takes the bug catching device from Beckett, the two of them working together rather smoothly. And also note that McKay appears to be considerably stronger than Beckett, who does not seem to be able to hold the canister up by himself for very long where McKay heaved it from one of the marines easily. And once more it seems like his left hand is more dominant.

Lorne: How's that gonna help us? Beckett: Just watch. McKay: See? Not so stupid! Beckett: Ah, shut up!

Beckett's advice to just watch is not directed only at the people in the cave but also for the audience, as the show has contained elements from its very inception, from the very first episode, that were never explicated in text but made use of visual storytelling. And it is interesting that it is right in this context that we get shots of both McKay and Teyla, both of their necks covered, as Beckett is drawing up his collar to cover his neck. The fact that McKay feels the need to comment on it at all may be an attempt at diverting attention, of making sure that everyone gathered thinks that drawing up his collar had been about the bugs and only about the bugs. Where McKay and Beckett are bantering, it is clear that McKay cares about him. But this is the second episode in a row where Beckett indicates that he would rather McKay not talk, and this is what McKay has come to expect from people, even people that like him.

We see McKay smile cautiously when it seems like the salt water might actually be working and they might be able to get the eggs after all. He looks to his side where Lorne is, and it could be that some part of him expected to see Sheppard there, where he usually would be, because his smile vanishes just as quickly as it arrived when he sees Lorne. He keeps sneaking glances at Lorne, possibly to make sure that he is on top of things and will see that Beckett is safe doing what he is doing. Being that McKay seems to have developed hypervigilance as the result of childhood trauma, he seems to be expecting the proverbial other shoe to drop and wants to be ready for action when it does. McKay looks to be holding his breath, watching Beckett inch closer to the egg sac.

Lorne: Doc? Beckett: I've come this far. Dex: Heads up! Beckett: Oh God! Teyla: Carson... run!

Ronon notices one of the bugs lowering itself down from the ceiling of the cave in a similar way that the bug which attached itself to Sheppard had lowered down to wrap around his neck, and he takes it out using his blaster. That seems to excite all of the bugs that are now sensing the human threat to their nest.

We see that McKay also has his hand gun out, ready for action. However, he recoils when the others start firing off their P-90s, and recoiling from sudden loud noises is a rather obvious trauma response. It is an involuntary reaction, the startle reflex being an especially common symptom of an abusive childhood environment. Here it is not so much played for comedy as McKay's reaction is almost too quick to even notice, to pay attention to. But it is definitely keeping in with his character. McKay is also the first one to take off at a run out of the cave because this is not where he wants to die. Dying in this cave is not going to help Sheppard in the least. And as the first one to take off, McKay also seems to be the first one out of the cave.

Dex: I think that stopped them. Lorne: We're not sticking around to find out. I'm pulling the plug on this mission.

We see that they have all taken cover from the grenade that Lorne threw into the cave that may have done some damage to the bugs but which seemed mostly designed to make sure that the two marines that were left behind would not suffer unduly before dying. But note that McKay is covering Beckett with his body. He had obviously helped Beckett out of the cave and had shielded him from the debris. Even though McKay had been the first one to leave, it was not because he only cares about himself. He had actually pushed Beckett down and was holding his hand over him because McKay does by now have much more field experience than Beckett does. And McKay does care. He cares a lot.

Lorne: Let's get back to the gate. Beckett: We can't give up! Lorne: We just lost two men in there, Doc, so unless you can find another way to get those eggs out of there, we're done, understand? Let's go.

While Beckett is the one that voices the objection, they are all thinking it. They came here to save Sheppard and it feels wrong to give up. It is because Lorne was forced to terminate two men under his command that he feels the need to withdraw. We do not know what Lorne's standing orders are but jeopardizing the chief scientist and chief medical officer of Atlantis needlessly is probably something that he should avoid at all costs, and so he insists on taking them back.

Lorne takes off and the others remain standing for a moment, not sure what the right thing to do is. McKay looks at both Ronon and Teyla, clearly hoping that either one would say that they are staying, that there is still something they can try, that they are not going back without the thing that could save Sheppard. But since their faces look as hopeless as he feels, McKay is quick to take after Lorne. If there is nothing more to do here then at least he wants to get back as fast as possible.

Note that McKay seems to be carrying a weapon at the end here, either a P-90 or a rifle of some kind, where in the cave he was holding onto his hand gun. We have not seen him with the big gun previously (apart from when he was guarding the control chair platform alone during The Siege (S01E20) and where Sheppard seems to have given him the gun for personal protection), so it must be that he had packed some extra protection for this particular mission. And where Sheppard does not generally seem to want McKay to carry the P-90, it is likely that McKay has still been learning how to use one. And if ever there was need for one, this mission would have been the one, so it is likely that Lorne had put one into his hands.

Just like Beckett is the one to voice what we know McKay is feeling but cannot put into words, afterwards we see Beckett's frustration and regret as he has a private meeting with Weir about the failure of the mission. We get to see these emotions play on his face, and McKay is again vanished somewhere where we do not get to see his reaction, we go not get to see his fear and sorrow but are instead left to imagine them. The situation seems hopeless, and so Weir wants to be the one to break the bad news to Sheppard herself, against explicit instructions from Sheppard for her to get the hell away from him because he is not safe to be around anymore. She seems to think that their friendship is going to protect her from him.

Weir: How is he? Guard: I wouldn't go in there, ma'am. Weir: I'll be fine.

Now, for the guard to say this means that there must have been an incident and the incident must be fairly recent. If the guards had merely been standing outside of Sheppard's door and had no interaction with him, they would have no idea how he is doing or that his condition has gotten worse. Given that we just saw Weir and Beckett having a meeting just by the two of them and we saw McKay in a hurry to leave the planet to get back to Atlantis (and his comment about his doubts that Sheppard is lucid enough to Caldwell momentarily), there certainly is a pocket of time here where McKay could have visited Sheppard. Would even have wanted to do that, given the failure of the mission. We do not know that he had, but something must have happened here.

Weir: John? So this is when I usually ask you a stupid question, like 'How are you feeling?' John? John?

Note that Weir speaks the question "John?" just as the camera pans over the poster of Johnny Cash as the Man in Black, further drawing an association between him and Sheppard. Sheppard is not seated on his bed anymore, and we do not see if the pile of clothes is there anymore either. We see that Sheppard's laptop is open and while it is impossible to see what it is running precisely, they look either to be audio files or some kind of biometric data. Regardless, the laptop is open and Sheppard had not been reading anything, is the thing. He may have been monitoring something.

Weir: Our team got back from the mission. The nest was too well protected.

Sheppard appears behind her suddenly, perhaps having dropped in from the ceiling like the bug in the cave. We learned that the iratus protect their young and protect their nests, and by referring to "our team," asserting partial ownership over what Sheppard very much considers his team even when not ruled by animal instincts, and encroaching into his space, his nest, he finds her presence threatening. And again she seems barely able to conceal her disgust at the sight of him. Also note that the way Weir is filling him in, she is being vague about McKay's current condition. If McKay had tried to visit Sheppard, it isn't a big deal. If Sheppard has no idea whether McKay even survived the mission, it is a huge problem and would put Weir's life in more danger than she realizes.

Weir: We were unable to retrieve the eggs. They tried their best... Sheppard: Best?

Sheppard looks down and to the side as Weir mentions the well-protected nest, looking sad. As a soldier, protecting the nest has basically been Sheppard's life mission. He is a protector, a guardian. He understands the need to protect one's nest, and he wishes that he could keep his own nest safe. Keep Atlantis safe. He returns his attention to Weir as she says the words "we were unable," again seeming to take ownership of his team, his young. If earlier, when the retrovirus was just starting to take effect, Sheppard could appreciate the effort of Weir using platitudes and trying to sugarcoat things for him, he is way beyond that point now.

McKay tells Caldwell that he doubts Sheppard is lucid enough to use a transporter, and it is unclear how much of his cognitive faculties remain, how much of what she is saying he even understands. At the very least, it seems to take him a while to process what she says. When Sheppard repeats her word "best" in a questioning tone, it is not clear whether he is trying to communicate that their best simply is not good enough for him, or that he does not understand what she means by this. His team does not give up, if they had tried their best they would have succeeded. McKay trying his best and failing is something that simply does not compute to him. If they tried their best and failed, McKay has to be dead.

Weir: The bugs attacked-- Sheppard: Try again. Weir: Can't do that. Sheppard: Why?

Sheppard is not interesting in having dialogue, cutting her off without even letting her finish her sentences. He has been reduced to monosyllabic, one-word responses, and it is unclear whether he is even capable of forming complex sentences, complex thoughts. He seems largely to be driven by animal instinct. Need - get. Fear - kill. It is clear that Weir is afraid of him, but she does not fear him enough and it is possible that the reason why she does not know to fear him enough is that she has seen the full scope and depth of his rage once before. She still thinks this is variation of the same. That he would never hurt her.

Weir: John-- Sheppard: No. Weir: I understand-- Sheppard: If you won't, then kill me now. Weir: John...

Given that we had a whole scene of Sheppard telling Teyla to call him John when they are off the clock, Sheppard cutting her off with a "No" here is interesting. The meaning is ambiguous in the context. It may mean that he is done with her excuses: "No, don't give me that". It might be disbelief: "No, I don't believe you". Sheppard asked her the question "Why?" and Weir's "John" was the beginning of some kind of an answer to the question, but he cut her off before she could even start giving him an answer. Perhaps he knew that all that he would get are excuses. Sheppard's "No" may also communicate that he had no intention of taking no for an answer from her.

But because we had the whole "Call me John" episode earlier, it could also simply be a reaction to her using his name. She says it for the fourth time here, and her intention seems to be to use it to establish rapport, to affirm that bond of friendship between them that she thinks will protect her from him, approaching him like a skittish animal. But he is not a skittish animal, he is an ambush predator and she is encroaching on his territory. Only a little while ago McKay had spat his title right back in his face when he had been forced to turn him away from his door, and Sheppard's hurt over this seemed to still be lingering in the background of his scene with Teyla earlier. And it may be lingering here still. His immediate, visceral "No" to her "John" may mean "No, don't say that again" or "No, don't call me that." Every time she says it, he is reminded of how McKay can say it only when they are well and truly alone, always having to look over their shoulders.

Sheppard also tells her to put him out of his misery, and while a part of it is just a negotiation tactic--of trying to impress to her how severe this situation really is and how high the stakes--there is a part of him that thinks that the people he loves might be better off if he was dead. Because he gets everyone he loves killed, perhaps if he was not alive, they would no longer be in danger. He would not endanger them.

Sheppard does not have a death wish. He has hopes and dreams that he can scarcely admit even to himself, he has things he wishes to see through and he has unfinished business to attend to. He has a McKay to protect. He needs her to try again, to try until there is nothing left to try because as long as there is hope, he does not intend to give up. He is telling her to kill him but he very much seems to want to live. It is only in the past hours that he has had to sit alone with his thoughts that he has really come to appreciate how much he really has to live for. How much of love and human companionship he still wishes to experience.

Sheppard: It's better for the both of us. Weir: I can't do that.

Sheppard's choice of words here is again ambiguous. The immediate reading is "You and I, Sheppard and Weir." Only, Sheppard does seem to be thinking about a whole host of other people besides Weir, so it could more accurately be interpreted as "myself and others, Sheppard and all of you". They have a security problem and by eliminating him, Weir eliminates the problem. But let us recall that most of the time when Sheppard references "we" or "us," it is "Sheppard and McKay" in particular. And he is not speaking McKay's name. He has not mentioned McKay's name once, and this is on purpose. This whole episode, his role has been intentionally obscured, attention has been diverted away from him. But from what we have seen, McKay seems to be at the heart of all of his thoughts. McKay is the centre of his world. McKay is who is he most afraid of hurting, and hence asking Weir to kill him so that he won't be able to hurt McKay is a valid reading of this. It is better for the both of them if he is killed because then he will not be placing McKay in danger any more.

Sheppard had made the mistake of believing Weir about whether or not McKay was alive once before, and he will not forget how he felt during those moments that he thought he had lost McKay for good due to the vagueness of Weir's announcement. He would not make that mistake again. He had to see for himself that McKay was still alive, taking Weir's word for it was not good enough. He may be feeling paranoid just through what is happening to him, and suspects that Weir is afraid of telling him the truth. Maybe McKay had not made it out of that nest alive. Would she tell him the truth if he had not? She had been trying to sugarcoat the truth to him all day long, ever since they found out about his little problem. She had been lying to him. He could not trust her to tell him the truth, not with that stench of fear emanating from her. He needed to hear the truth.

Sheppard: Then try again.

Sheppard steps forward, gets into her space, and not one part of this is romantic or erotic. He is intimidating her with purpose, and she is terrified. He tells her "Try again" again, and at least she seems to interpret him as meaning that they need to go on the planet and try to retrieve eggs again, to risk their lives again. He may mean that but it may also be a thought too complex for him to grasp anymore at this point. But there is also the alternative that he means that she needs to try again with telling him the truth. Saying out loud what she seems afraid to say. Then try again.

Sheppard approaching her is also misdirection. We are meant to anticipate that something similar is going to happen here as did with Teyla earlier. His demeanor is predatory, we see arousal in her due to the fear response, so we are meant to wonder if he would try it again with her. If he would try to kiss her. But Sheppard did not try to kiss Teyla because he is attracted to her but because she is part wraith, she is genetically the closest thing to him in the entire city. They were sweating out pheromones and he was confused. He has no desire whatsoever to kiss Weir. He wants to kill her. Unwittingly, she is threatening him on multiple levels, and his animal instinct is to take her out.

Weir: We lost Walker and Stevens. I won't send another team! I won't risk more lives!

Sheppard grabs her by the throat and pushes her against a wall, and this too is an echo of his scene with Teyla. He was pressing the baton against her throat, and while he was not choking her out, they both knew that he could have done it. She had been at his mercy just as Weir is at his mercy. But note that Sheppard is not enraged as he attacks her. He does not feel rage. Rage is not an emotion that insects are capable of. He watches her with cool detachment, curious about her reactions more than anything. It does not seem like there is much of an internal conflict going on in him at this moment, and the only reason he does not kill her out right is that he is not sure if she is of use to him. The iratus do not seem to kill their prey out right, they drain them of life slowly. Given that the wraith use their hand to feed, he may even be trying to drain the life out of her and is confused as to why it is not working.

I have discussed the rule of three previously. Episodic television often employs this structure to storytelling because it is easy and convenient. And it is notable that we find an aborted pattern twice in this episode. In the beginning, we saw Sheppard have off-the-clock alone time with Ronon and Teyla but not with the third member of his team. Now we have seen him choke two women against a wall, and we will not see a third. This is a pattern interrupt, and it is meant to feel jarring. Like something is incomplete. But we did see discolouration on McKay's neck. We did see McKay pull up his collar. To have two of something without the third leaves a wide open negative space to fill in with implied meaning.

Weir manages to tell him that two of his men had died on the mission and that lives had been risked. This is when Sheppard suddenly and without warning decides to take off and leave the confines of his room, and it certainly seems as though he has somewhere to go. He has a mission, he has purpose. He is not escaping just to get out, it seems as though he knows that he has been able to get out for a while now if he wanted. He is leaving to seek something out. Suddenly, Sheppard needs to get to something badly. He needs to see something with his own eyes.

It is possible that even Sheppard does not know what he is going to do once he reaches his target, all he knows is that he needs to find it, needs to get to it. He did not spare Weir's life because the special bond of their friendship protected her, because he was able to tap into some part of his humanity to let her live. She certainly was not saved by the power of his love for her. He drops her because she is not important to him, and she does not pose enough of a threat to even kill. He needed to get to something that was, and he needed to get to it now.

Continued in Pt. 12

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Thank you for this question @wen-kexing-apologist.

What scene in BL has made you the happiest?

I'm a pretty happy girl while watching bl in general. I talk to the people on the screen, I clap and cheer and all that. If I'm supremely happy then I'll probably let out a scream and scare my cat. So I think the show recently where she suffered the most with my happy screams was definitely Tsukutabe. I hope you don't mind if I answer with a GL. The amount of times I just wanted to jump up and down with glee was unmatched, I believe. And I think nothing made me as happy as watching Kasuga talk to her father. This moment, I was just cheering like a crazy person.

It was fantastic. She is just so quiet for most of the time, but she's always listening, observing the people around her and processing. And after the talk with her soon to be divorced friend (I'm sorry, her name escapes me), where she confided in her and got the acceptance that she, maybe subconsciously, craved and words that she needed to her, she was finally able to do that. To have that conversation, to be firm and honest with him and be somewhat at peace with that part of her life. It was excellent. I LOVE HER. There are so many other moments from this show that I could honestly use to answer this question.

Now comes the anger.

So that really depends. I get angry at characters and at a show in general. I get angry at shows a lot for making stupid decisions. All my posts during Absolute Zero are a testament to that. And more recently I had a bad reaction to episode 11 of Unknown so I guess I'll talk about that.

See, I'm not really into sex scenes in general. Because more often than not they are just there. They don't add much to the overall story except to say that it happened. But when the show is good I expect them to match it. And Unknown is a really good show. It's great. So to say I was disappointed would be a massive understatement. I've spoken about this with @lurkingshan in the comments and the scene just didn't match up with the quality of the rest of the show. And this is obviously my opinion and how I see this show. There are a couple of reasons for my anger.

The first is Qian. Qian had just spent a lot of time considering Yuan's feelings and his own, the change in the relationship dynamic and he had to tackle his own fears around being vulnerable to another person and allowing himself to surrender to his desires. Because he has so little sense of self worth beyond being a carer for people around him, if Yuan didn't keep pushing, in his own way without actually forcing anything, I don't think Qian would consider crossing that line. But once he did, I think they needed a slower scene, where we could see him really embracing the moment and surrendering. Let's not forget this happened on the same night he said it wasn't sure he could make the change from brothers to lovers. That it wasn't sure what his feelings for Yuan were. So I just don't like that choice.

The second reason was the editing. And maybe this is a me thing. But even if I were to think that their first time would happen exactly that way, that scene was a mess. Sex scenes are usually not great in bl. Because the pretty takes the place of the good. So it's a lot of pretty lighting and bokeh effects. Which I have no problem with by itself. But the quick cuts drive me crazy. It's the same reason I never connected with the pretty sex scene in The Sign. If I'm gonna connect to the characters during a sex scene I should be able to linger a bit, to take in the atmosphere and physicality of the actors during it, so that it resonates emotionally. And it has to flow naturally as well for that to happen. So just cutting it randomly with different body parts, kissing and flashing facial expressions here and there just doesn't do it for me. And that's what happens in some of them including this one. And the SOUND. It drove me crazy. If you wanna use breath sounds during a scene like this, then do it well. I've seen both versions of the scene so I'm gonna focus on the reedited one cause the other one makes me doubly angry for other reasons. They change between normal speed and slow motion in the scene. And the sound doesn't really change between them so of course it didn't match, but the worst is the fact that it also didn't match anything. The sound was not from that scene. Probably because it was edited so much so the sound that they used was different, but it kept taking me out of the scene on top of what all the other reasons.

That was a longer answer than I was expecting. So I'll stop now. I hope most of that is coherent enough. I rambled a bit. Anyway thank you so much for this question.

Have a good day💜

[bunnakit]

last twilight e3 thoughts feelings etc

so in the past ive watched the episodes and digested them and come back and rewatched to put together my thoughts but im kinda crunched for time today and have a mountain of work to do sooo i'm just gonna do this in one sitting and i'm so sorry if it's not as good or as coherent as what i usually deliver aaa. it's also going to be a bit longer than normal probably but i'll try to cut down on stuff that seems unnecessary or maybe just too obvious to comment on.

OH ITS STILL REALLY LONG EVEN WITH EDITING I'M SO SORRY.

oh them being playful with each other is everything to me. oh my god and Mhok learned, he listened to Porjai and he learned to organize and clean and do things with Day as an active participant so he knows where everything is and is taking control of his own life. oh we're only 3 minutes in and i'm emotional, okay.

i do love that we get to see the way Day has isolated himself and that while his family haven't helped there's also a large part of it that is his doing. ive said it before but when you're newly disabled it can be so so easy to isolate yourself. hell, i've been diagnosed for almost 10 years and i still do it from time to time as my condition worsens because it's hard. there are so many questions you have to answer, there's the anxiety of not knowing if people are going to be accommodating to your needs, and sometimes it takes twice or even three times the energy it used to take before because every action is a little harder now. it can be terrifying to put yourself out there again and you will lose friends in the process. there will be people that don't understand, that find you to be an inconvenience, that won't make accommodations for you, and it will hurt every time but saying goodbye to those people is always ultimately for the better - but it doesn't make it hurt less. as much as i'd love the realism of it, i hope we don't have to see Day go through that.

Day's story about his friend is interesting, too. he says he doesn't want to be pitied by his friends but the thing is. they just did that, they accommodated their friend, and from the sound of it they did it without judgement. so why couldn't it be the same for him? it just shows more of his anxiety and his fear.

"i felt like my life was worthless. all i saw in people's eyes was insult."

screaming. crying. throwing up. i don't need to say anything about this but i thought you all should know it made me ill.

"once i'm ready you'll be the first to get my invitation card." Porjai and Mhok's friendship means so so fucking much to me.

here's the thing, my best friend and i dated in high school, we were 16 and fucking stupid and toxic and our home lives were shit and we took it out on each other and we made each other fucking miserable by the end of things. we didn't talk again for over five years. it took time to come back together, to heal and accept our own faults in what went wrong. we stumbled here and there as we came back together but now? almost 10 years later i don't know what i'd do without him. that's my platonic soulmate, that's the one person besides my husband i can share anything with. fuck, he knows more about my life than my husband does because he was there to see me at my worst, at the scariest point in my life where i almost wasn't around anymore to see tomorrow. that kind of friendship is so fucking special, i cannot even properly put it into words, and for Mhok to keep that? to have that with Porjai? i'm so fucking glad he has that. i'm so glad he got to keep his platonic soulmate.

small aside, i love that Mhok consistently announces himself to Day. it's a little action but it's so considerate. he's honestly doing such an incredible job.

Day puts his sunglasses on like armor; like they can shield him from the judging stares or looks of pity he can't see. maybe someday he won't need them, not because his heart has hardened to take the blows, but maybe because he knows Mhok is by his side. because remember - it's the way they look at us.

"i heard you wanted to take time off and focus on badminton" Night i'm going to drown you in your own toilet. this is just furthering my thoughts from episode 2 that Night is ashamed of his brother and his condition, or perhaps that the family is trying to hide his condition for some fucking stupid reason.

the bravery it took Day to come here and admit whats happening to his is huge, but i'm also in love with the admissions admin saying sure, you can have time off, but you're not allowed to quit. you're not allowed to give up on yourself.

"we must live with hope, Day" and that's it. you have to. you just have to. every day is going to be so hard and so much, you'll have good and bad days, but at least in all those days you'll have hope. and maybe someday that hope won't be for new eyes. maybe that hope will turn into acceptance, into determination, into pride at what you've accomplished in spite of it all. in my opinion, hope is an amazing fuel but it's not sustainable, it's just a vehicle to get you to where you need to be.

Mhok asking a blind man for a tour, oh fuck fuck fuckfuckufkcufk-- Mhok essentially saying show me your world exactly as you remember it, let me in. see how things have changed and how they've remained the same and do it with me by your side.

THE WAY MHOK SHIELDS HIM AT THE LIBRARY. DAY DOESN'T NEED TO WEAR HIS SUNGLASSES LIKE ARMOR BECAUSE MHOK IS BY HIS SIDE AS HIS SHIELD. chewing my own arm off brb.

"and you also have me. nothing to be afraid of" because i will always shield you, i will always protect you, i will stand by your side AAAA--

on part 3/4 now, i promise i'll shut the fuck up soon. if you've read this far pls take this as a smooch checkpoint, i'm giving you a little forehead smooch. have you had any water today? taken your meds? relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw.

ok back to it - Mhok continuously having Day make his own selections in these various machines. Day's fate is in his hands, he can do these things himself, but Mhok will be there with him the whole way.

"my eyes don't work well but my legs do just fine." this is such a massive leap from the man that wouldn't even leave his bedroom, from the man that was suffocating in his environment. Day is no longer a dying man, a shambling corpse. he is an active participant in his own life again.

"stay close to me, that's all i need" bitch i'm gonna throw up, you can't just hit me with that after that's all i've been saying this whole time what the fuck.

OH FUCK ME. okay. alright. hang on. so when they enter the shop Mhok describes it to Day, explains where the jeans are, where the shirts are, asks him what to do and what he wants to take a look at. this is a direct antithesis of Night in episode 1 asking where Day was going to wait for him, where he could leave him so he could get his shit done. Day isn't being asked to wait, to just sit idle while life passes him by, he's being asked what he wants to do, where he wants to go, what he wants to see. FUUUUUCK. and knowing Mhok is doing this because Day expressed that he liked dressing nicely? how the fuck am i supposed to just go to my job like a normal person after this episode.

wow the shirt buttoning scene just made me so mentally ill. right now, Mhok is doing his job. he's helping Day get dressed. but someday? someday this could be Mhok dressing Day not because he needs him to help but simply because Mhok likes doing to for Day. there's the sensuality of caring for your partner, of running your hands over the planes of their shoulders, of skimming your fingers down their chest to pluck every button. it's an exploration and a declaration of love. if we get this again in a future scene and it's something like that please remember me fondly because i will perish.

at the bookstore Mhok recognizing Day doesn't want to wait, but Day has become so accustomed to the other people in his life telling him what to do that he falls back into that behavior - but Mhok doesn't let him. he prioritizes Day's needs and desires, even if it's something as little as finding a book, without being asked.

THE LAST PAGE IS MISSING.

(because one can't see his future and the other can't see in the future, but also because they'll make their own ending, they'll face that when they get there, but they'll do it together -- what if i lost my shit completely of it?)

when Mhok leaves Day to get him a drink the camera is focused on Day and the clear warring emotions on his face but if you look in the background Mhok hesitates, he stops and turns a few times to look at day. he's reluctant to leave him and worried. Mhok worries so much but it's always so understated or in the background, covered by the emotions of others he values above himself. (or overlooked because of 'what type of person he is')

while its anxiety inducing i do enjoy this regression of behavior because adapting to a new life is hard. you will regress, you will stumble, you will fall into old habits or sometimes old fears will return. its what you do after that that is important. the one thing i hope doesn't happen is i hope this doesn't cause a rift with Porjai. i think Mhok needs her right now, maybe not forever, but definitely right now.

HE PUT ON THE FUCKING SHIRT. THE FUCKING SHIRT DAY COULD SEE FROM MARS. OH MY GOD. i know this doesn't need to be commented on, i know it's obvious, but FUUUUCK.

Day's mom trying to weaponize Mhok's past and Mhok taking the ammunition from her hands and telling Day himself. the acceptance of the past and the determination to move on and grow from it. Day's refusal to let the past repeat itself with a new caretaker. whoo boy.

and again Day wants to see Mhok, because even bruised and battered Mhok is worth seeing.

if the last episode ends with "sweet dreams/good night" i will be burying myself alive, thanks.

THE PINK SHIRT RUINING HIS BAD BOY IMAGE BECAUSE IT IS BEING RUINED. HE'S MOVING ON, HE'S GROWING, HE'S BECOMING A NEW PERSON. FUCK OFF.

i'm so so sorry this was so long, every episode makes me feel more and more things and makes me analyze shit more and more.

tagging @benkaaoi and @callipigio as requested (if you want to be added to my last twilight meta tag list just let me know!)

[princesssarisa]

Guess what? I'm doing a rewatch of Faerie Tale Theatre. Every day or so I've been watching a new episode.

Some of them I haven't seen since I was in elementary school, and I've been enjoying them very much. So far I've gone from The Frog Prince through The Princess and the Pea and the next episode I'll be watching is Pinocchio.

I have two comments about aspects of certain episodes that are bugging me, though.

Is it just me, or is Little Red Riding Hood slightly unclear about its message in the end? Of course it has the standard message in which Mary (Red Riding Hood) learns to be less naïve and not to talk to strangers or stray from the path anymore. So in other words, she should have listened to her parents, right? Then why is her father portrayed as such an overprotective jerk? At the beginning of the episode, she has no friends, never goes out except to visit her granny, and is treated like a child at home instead of the young woman she is. (The fact that Mary Steenburgen was 30 makes it all seem even more ridiculous, though I assume the character is supposed to be about 15 or 16.) Then he blocks her budding romance with Christopher because he thinks Christopher isn't good enough for her. You'd expect this to lead to an ending where her father admits he's been overprotective, that by keeping her so sheltered and lonely he caused her to fall for the Wolf's sweet talk, and that it's time to let her grow up. Maybe all these realizations are supposed to be implicit, since he does reconcile with Christopher after the latter rescues Mary and Granny (albeit in a non-apology, "pretending there was never any conflict" sort of way, for comic effect) and lets Mary be with him after all. But the narrator only talks about Mary learning to be wiser and more cautious in the end, as if she realizes her father was right all along. Is it just me, or should there have been more of a compromise between Mary and her father, where they both admitted they were wrong and he agreed to let her be more free while she agreed to be more cautious? Again, maybe this is implicit for most viewers, but too subtle on the father's side for my autistic brain. Does anyone else think this episode's ending could have been better written?

In The Princess and the Pea, is it just me, or does it feel like a scene is missing from Prince Richard and Princess Alecia's romance arc? In their second scene together, they have a big argument when Alecia accuses Richard of only looking for shallow qualities in his bride-search. But then in the next scene they share, Alecia is playfully directing Richard and the Fool in a fencing duel, and all three of them are chatting like friends, as if the argument never happened. Was there a scene cut for time where she and Richard made up? The review of this episode from the Up On The Shelf blog praises it as an excellent romantic comedy, and especially praises the romance arc for feeling so "real." I would agree, except I don't understand why they go from fighting to friendship with no transition. Again, maybe this is my autism brain again – I expect people to follow certain "rules" of conflict resolution, and it baffles me when they forgive each other too easily. But I have to fill in the blank with a missing scene to fully appreciate this love story.

I know I'm overthinking an '80s fairy tale TV series that never takes itself too seriously. Still, I wanted to express it.

[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

Why I haven't been posting + thoughts on upcoming movies

Okay, so I mostly am gonna still spam reblog about the KOSA bill until we can finally stop it but I want to still use Tumblr for what it was meant to be for all along; to have fun! I just will take a short break on posting cartoons but I'm still active here every night! Tumblr's honestly the only place I feel like I can truly be myself right now...

Okay, let's put the stupid bill aside for the moment and talk about my thoughts on some upcoming movies and shows right now. Disney's really been p*ssing me off lately with their sequels. Like, I feel they're only making sequels of Moana and Inside Out to impress the hardcore Disney fans, because their "new original ideas" failed (like Wish, but it failed because they used A.I to write the story). The Inside Out sequel looks cute from what I seen, but I still have trust issues when it comes to Disney. And before you go blabbing "It's Pixar", let me inform you that they're not the same and Pixar is literally just Disney with a better animation studio. Like, it's literally part of Disney! Like, I feel like I trust the Inside Out sequel a little more than the forced Moana sequel but still... I don't trust them. The worst is the Moana sequel though. I heard they originally planned for it to be a Disney plus show but instead they're making it a sequel on a super low budget and the animation is gonna be done overseas. No joke! I honestly think Disney needs to take a break on making movies for a while and focus on stuff like Kiff. Kiff is the only thing from Disney right now that's keeping me from leaving them all together. And when Kiff ends after season 2, I'm done with them forever! I honestly think they should let Kiff run a little longer than 2 seasons, look how long Kick Buttoski ran (that was a weird show, let's face it). Anyway, that's my thoughts on Disney right now.

I haven't posted my review on Orion and the Dark yet but I think I will soon. Like I said, I been really terrified after hearing about the KOSA bill and will continue to spam reblog until I get justice! Long story short, Orion and the Dark was better than DreamWorks's other recent movies. I haven't seen Kung Fu Panda 4 yet but I'm sure Orion was better. I mostly only like the first two Kung Fu Panda movies. Orion and the Dark was better than Trolls 3, though. I don't think Chicken Run 2 Dawn of the nugget counts as being DreamWorks (the first Chicken Run will always be a DreamWorks movie whether you like it or not) but Orion and the Dark was better! Maybe I can post my review on it soon...

Okay, let's talk about The Amazing Digital Circus now! We all love that, don't we? I hope TADC episode 2 makes more money than Disney on their forced sequels. I'm really excited about episode 2, although I really really don't want to see any of the main cast get abstracted. Like, every character fits in with the show so well and makes it worth watching. Ragatha, Gangle, Pomni, and Kinger are my favorites, but I don't want anyone to get abstracted because they all fit in together perfectly. You have Pomni the new girl, Ragatha the supportive friend and optimistic "peace maker" of the group, Jax the sassy trouble maker, Gangle the emotional one who doesn't stick up for herself, Kinger who's upbeat and crazy and childish, and Zooble who's also kind of sassy and doesn't really care much. Plus, there's Caine and Bubble who are hilarious as well. Like, I just don't want any of the main characters to get abstracted so soon. I'm just way too attached to all of those characters! However, I'm still a huge fan of the show and hoping that episode 2 will make more money than Disney! And if there's anyone here in the comments who's also a TADC fan and wants to see my sketches that I'll never post on tumblr, I'll dm them to you!

PLEASE DON'T IGNORE ME, I DON'T BITE! CHAT WITH ME PLEASE!!!! Just please chat with me in the comments, I'll be nice!

[mtdthoughts]

Migi & Dali Episode 8 Retrospective Reaction

Hello again! As part of commemorating the one-year anniversary of the anime, I'm doing a rewatch and providing my (unorganized) thoughts and reactions.

This time, I'm doing Episode 8! As always, I'll be keeping timestamps in case you want to watch along while reading, and be prepared for another long post below of unorganized thoughts, and of course spoilers...

[00:00] First is the opening scene.

Akiyama's food looks tasty, and he seemed so happy to return to his room to see Migi.

Rina seems to have a habit of sleeping through the day, so perhaps she works at night.

It's strange how Migi doesn't say anything when Akiyama offers him food, and then slithers down to the floor and eats it with his mouth like a dog. The sounds of Migi slithering and eating are very disturbing…

Discovering that Dali deceived him has clearly broken Migi, and now he's reverted to animalistic behavior. Before, his purpose seemed to have been centered around Dali, but now he has no purpose, and he doesn't know what to believe or who to believe. In his anger and depression, Migi doesn't have the spirit to eat properly.

It's interesting that Migi chose to run away from Dali instead of confronting him. This is just like how Metry chose to run away from Reiko after escaping the Ichijo house. At the very least, we know that Migi isn't the confrontational type. Perhaps it's an internalized subservience to Dali, or maybe he fears he might regret making a mistake if he confronted Dali.

=============================================

[02:40] Next, Akiyama asks Migi about what happened.

Migi is still eating like an animal. Without a new sense of purpose, Migi would most likely be stuck like this forever.

It's been three days… I wonder what Dali was doing all this time. Surely he couldn't have been looking for Migi for three days, since he definitely would have visited Akiyama first. I think it's likely that he waited at home for three days hoping for Migi's anger to subside. Migi can be a bit irrational, but I think Dali should have gone to him sooner!

It's funny how Akiyama assumes the Sonoyamas did something bad. Also, the way Migi licks the food is quite disturbing…

Akiyama's comment about Origon Village suggests something insidious about the town, namely how everyone falls in line and tries to live a "correct way of life", including his lazy sister. Perhaps this is a commentary on our society…

=============================================

[03:50] Next, Akiyama finds Dali at his door.

Note that in the manga, Akiyama mentions the two bullies that appeared in Episode 3. It's a bit sad to think about what Akiyama's life was back then before the twins came to Origon Village…

Ah, it's been too long since I saw Dali's Hitori-kun face. It's so cute, yet so creepy at the same time…

I'm not surprised that Akiyama didn't realize that there were twins, since that isn't really a natural conclusion. Dali's argument seemed to have been convincing enough.

If I were in Akiyama's shoes and wasn't aware of the twins' existence, I would definitely be a bit terrified. Imagine if your friend who was just silently sulking in your room was now suddenly in a friendly mood and outside your front door.

I like Akiyama's reaction to Dali asking for tea. Although he sounds a bit reluctant, I'm sure that Akiyama is happy thinking that his friend's mood is improving.

=============================================

[04:30] Next, Dali tries to take Migi back, as his soundtrack (少年・ダリ) begins to play.

I forgot to mention this before in the previous episode, but the emergence of 「少年・ダリ」instead of the twins' usual theme 「ひとりの少年」 seems to represent how Dali is beginning to act on his own, and highlights Dali's own personality.

It's quite amazing how Dali was able to track down Migi almost immediately after entering the room. They really are twins…

It seems that when Migi is upset, he tends to give the silent treatment. Dali seems to think that this is one of Migi's usual tantrums, though he is mistaken, as Migi's trust in Dali has collapsed.

Just like how the twins' equal weight allows them to create a "zero-weight" pulley with their own bodies, their equal strength will result in "zero force" on the closet door.

It's amazing how quickly Dali moves…

=============================================

[05:17] Next, Dali talks to Akiyama.

It's funny how Dali wants Akiyama to get out of his own room…

Thank goodness that Akiyama asked the book-smart Dali to help him with math. If it was Migi, I don't think he'd be able to understand a thing about hyperbolas. Then Akiyama would definitely be suspicious of him…

It's interesting that Dali wants to convince Migi to come back with him, which seems to show that Dali doesn't think that he's in the wrong.

It's interesting that Dali calls him "Akiyama-kun", even though Migi already calls him "Akiyama". But I don't think Akiyama really noticed, considering that he was slapped out of nowhere…

Ah, poor Akiyama, he looks like he is about to cry…

I thought Dali was really clever in using his words to Akiyama as a way to talk to Migi.

I think Dali does feel guilty for deceiving Migi, but he does not want to directly apologize.

I wonder if Migi believes Dali's words. Given Migi's reactions in Episode 9, I think it's possible that Migi may have thought that Dali may have been lying about avenging their mother.

Akiyama's delusion about Youko was hilarious. But not quite unfounded, since in the manga we've seen Youko wielding a rolling pin as a weapon.

Akiyama's words about and setting oneself free from expectations are powerful. Dali should have taken these words to heart, though he is too set in his ways to listen. On the other hand, Migi realized a new sense of purpose. Instead of living to satisfy Dali's expectations, Migi would start living for his own sake.

What is the "hour of the rooster"?

When Migi throws Dali into the closet, Migi's soundtrack (少年・ミギ) plays for the first time in the anime, which shows how Migi's own personality is developing as he makes himself independent.

Migi says he longer cares about revenge, which makes sense since Migi has gained almost nothing from this whole mission. He only gets hurt, whether physically or emotionally, and he probably realized that it was meaningless since Metry is already dead. That being said, he doesn't seem to be aware of Dali's pain…

I thought it was interesting that when Migi says he won't take orders from anyone, he uses "dare" (だれ), which almost sounds like "Dali" (だり). To Dali, this basically means that he is dead to Migi, perfectly illustrated with the closet door closing, leaving Dali in the dark. Furthermore, the cold face Migi makes here reminds me of the cold face Dali makes towards Eiji in Episode 11 when he rejects Eiji and calls him a stranger. It's as if Migi is doing the same to Dali here.

The music sounds strangely hopeful despite Dali's despair, and it seems to reflect Migi's optimism as he is ready to begin a new life. A new life that does not require him to satsify Dali's expectations or get hurt by Dali. A new life where he doesn't need Dali anymore. To Migi, it feels like a weight was lifted off his back as he loudly proclaims his freedom. What's even more fitting is that Chapter 30 of the manga is called "Hatching" (孵化), which likely represents the start of Migi's new life.

Now, without Migi, Dali is truly alone. Unlike Migi, Dali didn't form connections with anyone else. He's likely angry at Migi and thought that his actions were childish. Sure, Migi is justifiably angry because of Sally, but Dali believes this isn't a reason to throw away their precious brotherhood, especially since he has always worked so hard for Migi's sake. With nothing left, Dali becomes consumed by revenge, belieivng his only purpose now is to kill the one he blames for his suffering, Eiji. The only thing driving Dali is now is resentment.

=============================================

[08:50] Next, Dali returns home and notices the mosquito costume.

Dali is really upset, he's in no mood to feign enthusiasm as Hitori-kun.

Dali clearly does not like being dressed as a bug, probably because he thinks other people will laugh at him. (he's right)

In the anime, Dali sulks as he says that Migi should wear it, while in the manga, he says the same thing while throwing the costume before he remembers that Migi isn't here.

This scene reminds me of a similar scene in the extra manga where the twins argue over a Christmas sweater. Although neither of them wanted to wear it, the argument seemed like a fun game, and was undoubtedly a hallmark of the twins' lively interactions. Now, there's no one to argue with Dali, which makes this scene even sadder and lonelier than before…

=============================================

[09:29] Next, Dali has dinner with the Sonoyamas, as Dali's soundtrack (少年・ダリ) plays.

Note that in the manga, they seemed to have been eating steak, while in the anime they're eating omelets. It makes sense considering they use this detail in Episode 13, but I still think it's a bit strange to have an omelet for dinner…

Dali is a bit too excited to hear about Eiji competing. It seems that Dali's revenge isn't really driven by love for Metry, but rather resentment towards his supposed victimizer, Eiji.

Youko asking about Dali's appetite is similar to when Reiko asked about Eiji's appetite, which makes sense since both Eiji and Dali are hiding something from their mothers. But unlike Reiko, Youko would have been a lot more understanding if Dali told her the truth…

The situation is so bad that Dali is scolding himself! Without Migi, there's no one to say Dali's name…

And now, Dali is making "stinky stew" in the toilet, which parallels Eiji's vomiting in Episodes 6 and 7. Clearly, they can't handle their emotional distress by themselves, yet they still insist that they can endure it alone. Dali and Eiji really are brothers…

=============================================

[10:40] Next, Dali attempts to braid a pie crust.

Honestly, I would really like to eat Dali's swirly-crust pie.

This scene shows that Migi still remains in Dali's subconscious mind, and how skillful they were when they worked as a team.

=============================================

[11:13] Next, Dali scolds himself again.

The music just makes this scene even more painful…

I wonder why Dali is so insistent on doing the things that Hitori-kun usually does. For example, why would he go out of his way to massage Osamu? Now that I think about it, no rational person in his position would push himself to this extent. Even if the Sonoyamas found their son's behavior to be unusual, I'm sure that Dali could have given a convincing excuse. This leads me to two possible explanations: he doesn't want the Sonoyamas to worry about him, or that he's insistent on proving that he can carry on without Migi. Both can be true, and Dali's words give heavy credence to the latter.

=============================================

[12:18] Next, Dali takes a bath with Osamu.

In Japan, is it normal for 13-year-olds to take baths with their parents? It would be a bit odd in other cultures…

This is probably one of the only scenes where I prefer the anime over the manga. The imagery of a rubber duck crying is just too funny! It certainly represents what Dali is feeling inside right now.

I love Dali's reaction to getting splashed. I'm sure that he was getting annoyed by this old man lol

Once again, Osamu teaches a good lesson, though it leads to bad consequences. While Migi got a lesson in love, Dali got a physics lesson: decreasing volume leads to increased pressure! Unfortunately, this made Dali think that he would be fine if he killed his affection for Migi…

=============================================

[13:22] Next, Dali wears the mosquito costume.

The Sonoyamas were right… I'd totally get my blood sucked dry by this mosquito.

Also, the Sonoyamas dressing up as bugs to match their son is very wholesome. It's clear that Youko put the most effort into the mosquito costume!

If only Sardine was also wearing a costume too…

=============================================

[13:36] Next, the Halloween contest begins.

It's funny how Dali is being needlessly mean to Maruta and Akiyama.

Once again, he can't forget about Migi…

=============================================

[14:43] Next, Dali shows off his mosquito costume.

Honestly, I think that Dali's costume was pretty good.

I wonder if he was spraying the crowd with ketchup out of spite. Dali was confident that Eiji would win, so I don't think there he was trying to sabotage himself.

I love the phrase "big booing" (大ブーイング), as well as Youko's "bad boy" (バッドボーイ).

Note that the anime adds a bit of ketchup on Dali's cheek. Is this supposed to represent blood…? It's cute how Dali has his own pride.

=============================================

[15:32] Next, Dali reveals his plan to the viewers.

It's sweet how Youko seems to forgive Dali for spraying the crowd with ketchup. If it were my mom, I'd have definitely gotten in trouble!

Murase-san's performance as Dali was really good, and I really like how Dali sounds like a villain here. Well, I do think Dali has the makings of an evil genius after all!

This is irrelevant, but "Ragna Crimson" was airing in the same season as "Migi and Dali". I bring this up because Dali here reminds me of Crimson!

=============================================

[16:12] Next, Eiji arrives at the Halloween contest.

It's clear that Eiji is completely broken after remembering that he pushed Metry to her possible (but also actual) death. After all, how could a murderer live a normal life?

Dali's plan to manipulate the audience into supporting Eiji's costume was brilliant. Using a mosquito to spread gossip rather than diseases… Sano-sensei's creativity is admirable!

There are actually a lot of awesome costumes in the contest. A rocket, a tiger… there's even a group dressed as a roller coaster! I would totally vote for the roller coaster!

The audience gaslighting themselves into admiring Eiji's costume is hilarious.

=============================================

[18:47] Next, Dali watches the "Throne of Death" from a tree.

Despite the plan going well, Dali still can't forget about Migi. He's desperate to prove that he doesn't need Migi.

It's pretty funny how Dali thinks a pumpkin will kill Eiji.

Dali's expression sure is scary…

Once again, it's funny how everyone thinks Eiji is just acting. I couldn't help but laugh when they said "artistry"

Migi must have been pretty uncomfortable in that shoebill costume to have knocked down Akiyama.

No matter what Dali says to himself, he still cares about Migi. He jumps down the tree and runs to Migi, despite the enormous risk of everyone discovering the twins' identities.

In the manga, Migi actually looked very happy to sit on the "Throne of Glory", which makes sense since he prides himself as the "King of Imitations", and wearing a costume can be thought of as a form of imitation. Winning the costume contest is an honor that's relevant to him, and I'm sure he's happy to have gotten applause from so many people. I suppose it shows how Migi has always sought validation, especially from Dali.

When I first read this scene in the manga, I was nervous about what happened once the pumpkin was smashed. The anime does a great job in highlighting the suspense with the music as well as Murase-san's delivery of Dali's panicked voice.

Dali's memories of Migi are slightly different in the manga. I think the animators were trying to save time by reusing previous frames. In any case, it's clear that with Migi's life flashing before Dali's eyes, Dali remembers what was most important to him. It was never about revenge, it was always about Migi as well as Migi's happiness. No matter how much Dali tries to forget Migi, he just can't, and the experiences and emotions they shared can never be erased. At this moment, Dali believed that he had truly lost everything, and that it was all his own fault. I'll talk more about this in the next episode…

Of course, we know that Eiji pushed Migi in time to save him (Eiji really likes to push). I wonder, what would have happened if the pumpkin had hit Migi? Even worse, what would have happened if Migi was fatally wounded? I'd like to see someone write a fanfic about this, but I can't write this myself since it's so sad. Dali would be devastated for sure.

I wonder, did the Sonoyamas notice the twins?

Also, what were the twins thinking when they stared at each other? This is a rare instance where Migi is harder to understand. Dali is likely relieved that Migi isn't hurt and desperately wants to be with Migi again. Of course, we know that Migi goes back to Akiyama's house afterwards. At this point, Migi's probably still thinking that Dali doesn't actually care about him, so I'm guessing that he ran away right after this scene. I'm very interested in what others think about this…

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[23:06] Finally, the post-credit scene where Eiji is recovering in the hospital, which wasn't in the manga. Reiko sure is terrifying…

We can probably guess what she's thinking. She believes that someone is out to kill her son, and since she thinks Metry is still out there, she believes that Metry was trying to kill him as an act of revenge against Reiko. To Reiko, this is a threat that cannot be ignored any longer, and so her first priority is to eliminate Metry once and for all. But since Reiko doesn't know where Metry is, her targets are now Metry's sons…

=============================================

[Conclusion] In Episode 8, we don't get any new information about the mystery of Metry's death. Instead, we observe the aftermath of the twins' relationship collapsing and how their characters develop, as was described earlier.

Paying closer attention, these problems were foreshadowed earlier in the story. Even though the twins love each other, they've gotten so used to a hard life deceiving others that they began hiding things from each other as well, especially Dali. Although his intentions were good, his deception ended up hurting Migi, causing Migi to believe that Dali didn't really love him. As a result, Migi coldly separates from Dali, causing Dali to believe that Migi didn't love him. And so the twins are left with a wrong image of each other: Migi believes Dali was always just exploiting him, while Dali believes Migi is an ungrateful brat.

I'm reminded of the lyric "Love through masks is a lie" (「仮面越しの愛も偽物に」) from the opening. Truly, if you don't properly communicate your feelings with those you love, you could create misunderstandings and jeopardize the relationship, as was seen in this episode.

I'll stop here before it gets too long, and I will be discussing this more in Episode 9~

[demivampirew]

My thoughts on The Witcher/ The Witcher: Blood Origins situation

Disclaimer: This is going to be a long post. I've been meaning to write this for a while. I might do a 2 parts post because it's going to be really long.

Let's start with that stupid, stupid rumour started by Deuxmoi. First, I think it's idiotic to pay attention to what a sh*tty gossip blog says about Henry, especially when they've talked badly about him in the past - they had shared negative blind items with any legitime source, on the style of "someone told me this alleged thing about him"

So let me post first the stupid rumour and then I'll comment point by point:

"I recently got this message and somebody was like, "do you want to know what really went down?" She doesn't say who the source is and if she verified that the rumour at least came from someone who could actually have access to what happened on set; for the way that the rumour is disclosed, it could've been a random person who hated Henry and Deuxmoi took it as legit.

(...)"A lot of unusual demands" which demands? If they're unusual, they should be specific so people can examine if they're actually unusual and he's behaving like a diva. "that made people feel like he wasn't really a team player" this person is talking about Henry in season 1, the same Henry that dehydrated himself to look ripped for shirtless scenes but, sure, he's not really a team player 🙄.

"But in seasons 2 and 3, something shifted" could it be that right after episode 1 of season 2 there was a global pandemic and he had months of solitude to think about his life goals; also he injured himself while filming (such a bad team player, I know) and he might have re-think if it's worth it to keep pushing himself for a show that doesn't respect the IP as he does and that put him on the background except when it's time to promote the show and they use his likeness to sell the final product he's not happy with? "it became really impossible for women to work with, which is always a big problem" even if this rumour is true, I don't see how this could be his fault; as we're going to see next, he's going to be accused of being "toxic" for being a gamer and use gamer language, well guess what? The Witcher became famous through video games, meaning, the targeted audience and the ones who made the IP well-known are gamers. If women feel uncomfortable working with gamers and people who want to stay loyal to the source material, maybe don't work in a show where the targeted audience is gamers and they tend to be opinionated about the adaptations of the lores they love. "But even worse, because the showrunner is a woman" again, how is this Henry's fault? Lauren is the one who agreed to be the person with most power in a show adaptation of a story who became famous worldwide thanks to video games, it's not like she didn't know they were the ones who would watch the show and the ones who she'd have to please. Also, she worked in comic book adaptations before so she can have an idea how passionate (and sometimes toxic) that kind of fanbase could be yet, she accepted the job and all that comes with it. "He would try to overrule her and try to get changes made last minute across the board without her knowledge" so far, I think the only change he made was the lines after Roach's death and, it was because he felt it was an insult to make a joke. Also, it wasn't completely without her knowledge because they had an argument about it before this and she told him to see if he could find something better to say, according to Lauren herself. "(...) The showrunner has to sign off on every minuscule detail down to the bottoms of a costume" this, this is where I want to put stress on. Lauren a few weeks ago tried to deviate the blame from Eskel's death to the writer, Beau de Mayo, because he was the one who wrote the episode -it's worth mentioning that she tried to throw him under the bus because he's the one who said there were writers who hated the IP. She's the showrunner; she's the maximum authority there; she has to greenlight everything for it to happen and, she could've easily said no if she didn't want Eskel to be killed. Also, yes, Beau was the one who wrote the episode but he might have been told to kill an important character in that episode; again, the showrunner is the one who has to supervise everything and if a writer does something that could hurt the story, like killing a character that survives in every other media, she has to say no or change the writer if this doesn't want to. There's no excuse here for her incompetence. This is on her.

"Female writers and directors were suddenly ignored on set, unable to do their jobs" sorry, what?! 🤣 Writers are never on set, their job has to be done before filming the season starts. The showrunner is the only one who's usually on set. As for the female directors, there are only two listed for S2 and one of them said and I quote "Had the pleasure of directing episodes 6 and 7" (source https://www.instagram.com/p/CW8z6KurW2f/?hl=en ) As for s3, the only director attached it's Stephen Surjik -who in the past said how polite Henry was on the set and that he could become a politician because he was so polite to anyone and took the time to greet everyone (https://youtu.be/kcUgoyQSQ1k?t=84 I marked it on the exact time he speaks about Henry)

"He started making comments. It wasn't a sexual thing: he wasn't grabbing anyone or being lewd, but it was disrespectful and toxic all the same." again being too vague and don't give specifics; how was he being toxic? What kind of comments would he make that would make people, especially women uncomfortable? Could those comments be about the script and how unhappy he's with it? He's a famous actor and his reputation is on the line so, yeah, he has the right to speak when he's not happy about it. His indie movies proved his range as an actor but, he prefers to do comic books and video game adaptations, that's his chosen career path so he wants to keep the reputation as someone who cares for the source material and he's going to be outspoken about it. If anyone behind the scenes cannot take a gamer critiquing the work of an adaptation of an IP they love, maybe those people should be looking for a different job.

Then they talk sh*t about him being an addict because he likes to play video games. "He was distracted, he was late, he was obsessive" funny because Stephen Surjik in the interview that I link above said how he was always on time, prepared and knew all his lines and stunts. Also make-up and hair takes him about 2h so maybe sometimes he could've been a bit late because of that. Also, in case this person forgot, he was injured while filming s2, so maybe he could've been late sometimes because he was in pain? I don't know, I assume it must hurt; I hurt my ankle years ago and I was in pain for months. And, again, this could also be a lie because Stephen said he was always ready. Then again with the bullsh*t about gamer language, what language, Karen, what language did he allegedly use that was so disrespectful?

Then back again with the re-writing scenes, I assume it's the Roach scene and only Freya was there and she had no lines at that moment, so it doesn't affect her.

"He decided he didn't want any romantic scenes at all. No kissing, no shirtless scenes, etc" oh Karen, I'm going to fight you so hard on this. I'm actually pissed. As for romantic scenes, he didn't say no romance, he said no romance with Triss; he felt the real love story was between Geralt and Yennefer and he felt Geralt would be loyal to Yen, the fact that there was no romance was a writers/Lauren issue because they went against what the IP says and made Yennefer a b*tch who tried to sacrifice Ciri for power so of course Geralt wouldn't ignore that and just be romantic with her despite what she did. As for kissing scenes, I call it bullsh*t because Henry himself said in interviews that he had no problem with kissing scenes even when covid was (and is) still a thing; he said he'd only be uncomfortable if there was a kissing scene involved and he saw Anya coughing and sneezing, meaning with clear symptoms of covid (https://youtu.be/JldJ9cDzZ1o?t=1081 source). As for shirtless scenes, is it a crime that he didn't want to have shirtless scenes? Correct me if I'm wrong but, Anya didn't have naked scenes this season either. Why is it a problem only if he doesn't want to do shirtless scenes unless they're necessary? Also, S2 was filmed in the middle of a pandemic; there was a hiatus of filming that lasted months where he couldn't go out to the gym and only had a few weeks to properly train in a gym before they resume filming, it's possible he didn't feel comfortable shirtless after a long period without training.

"He wanted complete control over storylines," I think he wanted Geralt to be more than a grumpy dude that says "hmm" and "fuck" all the time. If he's used as the lead actor for promotion, his character should have more screen time and focus on the show. The part about him not knowing about tv structure and budget is bullsh*t. The problem he had was with the script and characters motivations and stuff, things that didn't require the budget to fix; maybe if they didn't go for the stupid Voleith Meir thing they could have afforded other stuff, just saying.

About the "weird alliance" with the witcher writer who was allegedly fired, who I assume was Beau, the one who exposed them for not liking the source material. Could you, Karen, explain more? So far, the only connection I saw was a text message that Beau send Henry after Nightmare of the Wolf (the movie he wrote) was released to see if Henry saw it. That doesn't seem like two people with a weird alliance. Also, if Beau was so toxic, why was he allowed to write the animated movie?

Here's the receipt to the message; the photo was taken by a paparazzi and posted to DailyMail.

"Henry did anything he could to hold up production and cause problems" How? What did he do to hold up production and cause problems? Was it maybe that he challenged a few script points to better the end result? Maybe he pointed out how uncharacteristic was that Yennefer tried to kidnap Ciri and sacrifice her for her powers because Yennefer loves Ciri as if she was her own daughter. Or maybe he thought it was unrealistic that Vesemir would use Ciri to try to create more Witchers, including Ciri herself. There are lots of plot points that could've worried him that it wasn't going to work out and, guess what, it didn't work. Fans hated it.

Ok, assuming it was right about the HR complaints; then, why would Netflix allow him to be in Enola Holmes 2? That was filmed after S2 wrapped. Why would they allow a person who had lots of complaints to go to work on another movie and do a third season of the show he was an assh*le. If this is true, and the part about him sending an email to the entire writing staff (I doubt, even if this is true, that he'd send an email himself, given that even posting on his social media nowadays is a task of his team) if, and it's a very big if, he sent an email to writers, I assume must have been to apologize because he didn't realize he was being perceived as rude or hard to work with.

For me, this is just bullsh*t. Even if this person actually worked there, it's clearly someone, possibly a writer, that's pissed about the Witcher campaign to fire them and re-hire Henry. And, even if this is true, it's definitely an exaggeration as I proved. It wouldn't prove that Henry is toxic but, actually, if women and people there can't take gaming lingo and people are passionate about the IP they love, maybe they shouldn't seek to work in video game-related adaptations -I know The Witcher is supposed to be an adaptation to the books but it was the game who put the IP in the map, worldwide, so gamers and the targeted audience for this.

Ok, part 1 of my rant/thoughts ends here and continues on a new post (I'll edit the post with the link to the second part once I post it)

[overpoweredcacti]

S17 Ep5 post-watch recap

I have way too many thoughts, this is going to be long and probably disjointed.

So I feel like a lot happened, but at the same time not really? Overall though, so far I'm really here for this Gold Star mystery and the MK Ultra/behavior modification/Frankenstein's monster stuff around it, I just hope they commit to it? I know so far they've made it a point multiple times how it's a "conspiracy theory" and it's "based on a half-truth" and so on but at the same time things just don't add up? Most notably, if the government has nothing to do with this, why would they care enough to hide it? Who has enough influence to stage Emily's arrest etc?

Anyway, since this was very complex I'll try to break it down to characters.

Damien/Jade

Honestly? I'm really enjoying them so far? They have a fun dynamic?Wish I knew their actual ages, maybe it was shown and I just didn't pay attention. I think Aiden was around 26? So I'm assuming they are around the same , give or take 2-3 years. So these 2 meet up, 1 is dead ("assassinated by the FBI", which is an interesting way to phrase it. I wonder if that will come back on either Rossi or Emily. One giving the order, the other following it.) And Peter and Dana are 'missing', and we have no idea what they look like. Okay, cool.

So they are tech savy enough to operate Voit's network (wasn't that used to be a weather app lol? That whole comment on people posting their racist opinions on that neighbor app, which was featured in ep 3 too, seems like a reference that my not-american brain is not clicking with) and they can put together bombs. It was weird that nobody picked up on the fact that Jade has to be in the park to make that call? Why was everyone just standing in a circle and worrying when they could have sent people to scour the area lol All the while ignoring Voit who was at least smart enough to not run.

Voit

So Voit. This little shit. Every scene he was in I just kept repeating 'you little shit'. Very entertaining bordering on frustrating. His whole demeanor of being like a kid in candy store was funny I'll admit that. That first scene with him going "Dave Dave Dave" took me out. My dude is def dying by the end of the season tho. They can't keep him around for much longer. And I honestly can't tell if him doing morse code was meant to be noticed by the team or not. Because I'm thinking that he is in fact making up the identity of "North Star" and trying to get someone killed? Also, that reveal that he gave the identity of the strike team to Damien? Chef's kiss. He's truly Hannibal Lectering this season. Aaand he has a point with Garcia and Tyler and that whole fiasco last season. I'm glad they are bringing that up because that should have some kind of consequence. (Voit giving them a ship name tho? And talking about carbon footprints? I'm not sure I like him sounding like stan twitter. I mean it's obviously a reference for the fandom to get, but still. It's...a writing choice for sure.)

Garcia/Tyler/Luke

I'm lumping them together because the show is apparently committing to the love triangle bit. Which I'm not that big of a fan of, in general.

This might be an unpopular opinion but the more episodes we have the more I feel like the show doesn't really know what to do with Garcia this season? Like that entire exchange in her office, that ends up with them being back in the bullpen? It was...weird? So Voit smells, okay, cool, did we need to spend this much time on this? It honestly felt like a waste of time that didn't lead anywhere because we are back at the bullpen anyway? Like, narratively, what was the point here?

Luke is still not checking on JJ after throwing a bomb on her, cool lol. Love that he was the one deciphering the morse code tho, and that he dismantled the bomb. Love it when the show remembers character traits.

Tyler remains another frustrating part of this season for me? Everytime he does something where I go "hey cool, that's nice, I kinda like you" he immediately does something else where I go "okay, go fuck yourself now". Like, doing off-the-books work for Emily? Great, cool, love it. And then goes behind her back like it's nothing. So 'Teresa' might be an actual person, but the phrase could also be relevant? Maybe it's another anagram, idk. Either way he's warning someone while keeping Emily in the dark. In conclusion, I don't trust him lol.

Emily

So the framed arrest/mugshots are coming into play, that's great, I'm glad there was a point to that. (Weird choice to drop the name of an actual existing website as the leak but okay). Someone is really out to get her that is connected to this whole ordeal but there's no indication it's either Damian or Jade. Someone also convinced Brian to change face. Also, was he trying to gaslight her? Is that going to be a part of Emily's "breakdown arc" that she is questioning her own sanity? That could be interesting. Or, we are going full scifi and they made him somehow forget his previous alignments. Seems unlikely, but who knows. Anyway, she is on restricted duty and is clearly over it. Just, everything. Great scene by the end. She was going to back to her "spy roots" and moral grayness and it's slowly breaking her. Genuinely think she is one of the most complex characters of this entire show. (Shout out to her speaking Russian too. I know it's just a phrase but it's a nice callback.) Love her bond with Rossi as well. And just all her scenes, great. If there's a character I'm really happy with this season, it's Emily.

Rossi

Honestly not that much to talk about? For the audience this is not the first time he interacts with Voit, but great scenes. He is also losing it, clearly. Maybe I expected a bit more? Confusion, at least? As in, having a hard time differentiating with the real Voit and his halluciVoit?

JJ

I'm biting my fist every time JJ is on screen because I'm just so nervous how that is going to end. She is clearly not okay, everyone is dealing with something and not taking notice of her issues. Loved to see her in charge on the field. She was also the only one competent enough to finally tell someone to shoot the wheels, lmao.

Tara

Tara wasn't given a lot this episode tbh. She was aiding Luke, sure, but this may have been her least active episode. So we have the scene with Rebecca losing her shit, that she's in danger, okay. I mean, they are cute? Wish they would talk more instead, but cute scene at the end, none the less.

I have absolutely no idea where the next episode is going lol. I expected a cliffhanger, we didn't get a cliffhanger. Zero clue as to what comes next.

[lenteur]

random thoughts about tell me that you love me, episode twelve

(the rest is under the cut because i'm worried about your eyes having to read ALL OF THAT and this post might contain spoilers)

Not even two minutes into the episode and a lot has already happened. Mo eun was adopted. I did not expect that. At all!

When the mom said "I don't want our daughter to become a child too mature for her age to open up to her mom" I had to take a moment because that hit close to home. I'm sure it has happened to way too many children but when something traumatic (no matter what it is) happens, children have a tendency to keep things to themselves. It's like they "magically" become adults and they want to protect those around them by not sharing what's bothering them. I haven't read any study on this topic so please take what I'm saying with a grain of salt (I'm only talking from experience) but children have this kind of sixth sense where they know when something extremely serious is happening so they begin acting like adults when it shouldn't be the case. The need to protect those around them is even bigger when it involves their family. A child doesn't want their mom and dad to be sad so they'll try their best to protect them even though they (the kid) shouldn't do that. I'm having a hard time trying to explain this because my emotions are getting the best of me as I'm writing this. I got emotional watching this drama, but that sentence alone has unlocked something deep in me 💔

I'm just confused as to why do hun would admit to stalking seo kyung and burning the college building just like that. He might have heard the mysterious woman say it was him on the phone but those are just rumors. As far as we know, the real culprit hasn't been arrested? Idk man I'm just meh about this revelation. It feels rushed...

Do hun judging seo kyung for still having feelings for jin woo when he's the one who has stalked his crush and burnt a building because of her. He should look at himself in the mirror before making such comments about others.

Seeing the scene of seo kyung being stalked made me think back on her and jin woo's breakup. When she got home after finding she was actually being stalked, her first instinct was to call jin woo to be reassured. But then, she realised she wouldn't be able to hear his voice (because he's deaf). It's moments like these that must have been the cause of their breakup. Of course, she'd want to be reassured by her boyfriend when such a traumatic event happens. Hearing his voice would have helped a lot. But mostly, being able to vent or cry (whether on the phone or face to face) must have been the best solution to appease her heart. Unfortunately, she couldn't do any of that with jin woo. While it could be weird to some people that she'd break up with him because of his disability (she has a deaf father so she should know what a relationship with someone that is deaf is like), I can kind of understand why she did it. She was still young at the time (early 20s I assume) and I think her enthusiasm and him (maybe?) being her first love, seo kyung let her heart make the decision of being in a relationship with jin woo. It's only several months later that the more rational part of her took over and made her realise what a relationship with a deaf man entails. I think it's important to see that even though someone is related to a disabled person, that doesn't mean said someone will understand everything about their disabled partner and things will flow easily. Even though two people have the same disability that doesn't mean the disability will have the same impact on them. There are varying degrees of disability (if I can call it that). What I'm trying to say is sure seo kyung has "some experience" with deaf people because of her father but that doesn't mean the relationship with jin woo was easy, far from that. When feelings are involved, everything gets even more complicated. Anyway, I'll stop here because I'm only eight minutes into the episodes lol

Linking to the previous comment I made, we see mo eun facing the same struggle as seo kyung. She's having a hard time communicating with him because of his disability. She's going through stuff yet she can't directly tell him because she has to think about it and then start to sign to him or text him. It can feel lonely because she's living something while he has no idea what's happening. I wonder how she'll handle that obstacle. We've obviously seen how seo kyung decided to end things between her and jin woo. I don't want that to happen to the main couple but I can't help but wonder what the consequences of that will be. It's a lot to carry on one's shoulder. Mo eun is learning things about jin woo's past from other people. Things that are serious. Up until now she's always let him talk about himself at HIS own pace, she never pushed him to admit stuff. But now I feel like she might try and push him a bit more because there's a lot of stuff she doesn't know about.

On a side note, ji yu and ki hyun are such great friends. They're there for mo eun and jin woo no matter what. I'm glad they have amazing support.

I did not expect this episode to make me so emotional. I need to lie down and digest everything that happened.

I'll give it a 9/10

[deepspacedukat]

I was going to add a comment to your post about ST:PIC, but I felt maybe this was too long and personal of a comment. And I don't even need a response if you don't feel like giving one. But I wanted to say, I understand, at least a little. When the DS9 episode with Jadzia's same sex kiss aired the first time on live TV, I was watching, and my mother turned it off and said it was disgusting. It's not like I was a little kid either - I was a teenager. I didn't see the end of that episode until it was streaming on Netfix decades later. My mother watched TOS when she was younger, so you would think that she would've understood that Star Trek likes being on the cutting edge of social commentary.

Anyway that was almost 30 years ago and I wish the real world had changed more in that time. I'll also add that my mom turning off the TV that day didn't stop me from eventually thinking that both Bashir and Jadzia were the best looking actors on the show. That weren't Romulans.

Thank you so much for sending me this, my friend. 💜 I hope you’re okay with me responding to this publicly (if you’re not, please let me know and I’ll take it down asap). Seriously, this message and all the other responses I’ve gotten have been really positive, so thank you! 💖

I’ve been trying to think of a reply to this beyond a simple ‘thank you,’ because I definitely want to make sure what I say is meaningful (especially given the personal nature of your message). Because this message 100000% deserves a meaningful response. This is a really important topic.

It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I mean, obviously, I’m sorry you had to go through that, of course, but thank you for taking the time to tell me about your experience. Moments like both yours and mine aren’t pleasant, but they do serve to illustrate a couple points.

I’m gonna pop them under a readmore. This is just a little dig for a silver lining to all this. Feel free to ignore if you like. I just felt rambly and had a few thoughts bouncing around in my head.

1.) Reassuring Non-Uniqueness - Almost anything you go through has been gone through before. I’m not downplaying anyone’s experiences by any means! Own your story! It’s your own! Your experiences are important! What I do mean is that if you’re looking for a solution to a problem you’re facing, there are likely a lot of people who can tell you what they did/how they faced a similar problem. You can learn from their experiences and take comfort in the fact that someone knows how you’re feeling (or at least have a pretty good idea of what you’re going through). You’re never alone. There are people who’ve been where you are and who will stand with you. (Also, you can make some pretty awesome friends in the process.)

2.) Failure To Replicate - Hatred and bigotry are obviously bad things. Do I even need to say that? Hopefully, people know that already. For the sake of my sanity, I’m going to assume people do know that. Once you get to a certain point, you start to realize that if you’re recognizing hatred/intolerance in your parents that you don’t share, while the hatred is bad, by simply recognizing that you don’t share it, that means their attempts to teach you to be intolerant like them have failed. Instead of raising their kids to be exactly like them, the goal of every good parent should be to raise their kids to be good people. As long as people keep failing to raise their kids to be hateful like them, the number of kind people in the world will keep growing. [insert “Task Failed Successfully” meme here]

I know this isn’t like...a super comprehensive essay, but I did want to toss out my two cents in case it helps someone.

...Also, on a less serious note: You’re very right, Julian and Jadzia are both SUPER ATTRACTIVE. *giggles in bisexual*

[unhingedwomandiaries]

For the second time in five days, I've managed to assault my own eyeballs with lens cleaner like I'm auditioning for a particularly niche form of self-sabotage. You'd think after decades of wearing glasses, I'd have mastered the simple art of not spraying chemicals directly into my face, but here we are. Evolution's greatest achievement, ladies and gentlemen: a being smart enough to invent eyeglass cleaner but too dim to avoid using it as makeshift pepper spray.

My hand, apparently operating under orders from whatever part of my brain handles slapstick comedy, keeps deciding that my actual eyeballs need a good scrubbing. Because why aim for the lenses when you can go for the factory-original equipment instead? It's like my subconscious watched too many episodes of "Jackass" and thought, "Yes, this is exactly the kind of entertainment we should be producing."

Maybe this is some deep metaphorical statement about how I'm trying to blur out reality. Like my brain's saying, "If you can't see the world clearly, you don't have to deal with it." Though if that's the case, I wish it would pick a less painful way to make its point. Maybe just hide my glasses in increasingly ridiculous places instead, like behind the frozen peas or in the neighbor's mailbox.

I can see it now - a new Olympic sport called "Extreme Optometry." Athletes from around the world gathering to deliberately spray cleaning solution into their own eyes while commentators analyze their technique. "Ooh, excellent form on that self-blinding, Bob. Notice how she managed to get both eyes in one spray. That's going to score well with the Russian judge."

The worst part is, I know I'll do it again. It's like my personal version of stepping on a rake - no matter how many times it happens, I never learn. At this rate, I should probably just switch to those pre-moistened lens wipes, though knowing my luck, I'd end up using them as face masks or accidentally eating one thinking it was a fancy wet napkin.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. Well, call me certifiable, because tomorrow I'll be right back at it, armed with my little bottle of optical warfare, engaged in an eternal battle with my own reflection.

Maybe I should just embrace the blur. After all, have you seen the state of the world lately? Sometimes a little chemical-induced myopia might not be the worst coping mechanism.

P.S. If anyone asks why my eyes are red, I'm sticking with my story about having allergies. It sounds better than "I've lost control of basic motor functions."

[ice-sculptures]

I JUST WATCHED FEAR-O-PHOBIA AND I HAD SEEN GIFSETS ABOUT EDDIE DESTROYING HIS STUFF BUT WATCHING IT!??! WHAT THE FUCK!!??!?!?! EDDIIIIEEEEEEEEEE

I had comments about other eps (like the accidental kiss? I fastforwarded through everything relationship drama like that is NOT for me!), and probably some other stuff. But. EDDIE. EDDIE FINALLY BROKE AND /ME/? I AM ALSO NOT FEELING SO GOOD

watching the next ep and oh my god. BOY. DON'T YOU DARE SIT HER ON THE RAILING OF THAT HIGH RISE TO MAKE OUT WITH HER!!! THAT'S SO RISKY annnnnd YUP there it is! (the other luck calls weren't as nerve-wracking for me. But on this show, the tough part is knowing that sometimes people DO die)

Now I'm worried tho bc when I see the episode description only covers the small event at the very beginning of the episode? Yeah something's gonna go down. I worry for what it will be

Subtitles, I KNOW you know Ravi's name. So why did you put ROBBY? The newish guy's name was Jonah but I'm pretty sure that he's somewhere else now that Chminey's back. (also. please do not spoil if anything happens to Ravi bc I love him. Babie. I want a Ravi-centric ep but without him dying for real).

Bobby comforting Eddie ;.; I try not to make a found family a nuclear family but like.... Bobby just has Dad Vibes. They cannot be contained.

"The things that make you sad... am I one of them?" "NEVER."

Skipping forward to FOMO- how DARE they use You Are My Sunshine lyrics for this scene!!! Of them prepping the mom who fell down the shaft for transport while her girls are in the firetruck waiting and ajsdflasjdf (I love so much of the music for this show, even when it hits me in the gut) and watching the oldest girl figure it out before the others makes me so *so* sad. That poor girl.

"Why aren't the sirens on?" "Mom doesn't need them anymore" ;.; ;.; ;.;

Karen and Hen pursuing the credit card thief! Karen and Hen getting down in the CLUB! GOOD FOR THEM!!!!

Claudette! Drives! Me! NUTS! I love Bobby for being a bit of a Papa Bear about it, and Athena respecting May's wishes by telling him to stand down, too <3 I keep hoping that I'll eventually come around to it, tho I'm a little worried that might come at the expense of her dying (I'm on s5e16 May Day). bc you never know

PAINFUL BACKSTORY UNLOCKED! I knew there would be something! Things are clicking and making sense!!!

"Wait! That's my dad! I wanna ride with him." "You didn't have to lie." "I didn't. I have two dads. You're one of them."

Again, I have seen the gifsets, but it doesn't compare to watching it!!!!

I'm glad that Chimney got a chance to save Albert the way he couldn't save Kevin. I hope that helps him heal somehow ;.; And I'm glad that Albert has stuck things through so far, and now he's learned that he's ready for a different path.

I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT I KNEW THEY WOULD PULL THIS WITH CLAUDETTE!!!! I called it!!!!

i watch way too many of these kinds of shows

Also, I should not condone Taylor's jealous behavior. But like. I get it. (Also, I couldn't tell- does Lucy NOT remember the kiss? bc it feels like she doesn't remember).

Okay it is time for me to sleep! I hope you enjoy my extra long real time commentary on eps 13-16 (with a sprinkle of the eps I watched earlier today, 10-12).

let me tell you that i CANNOT watch that call with the girls and their mother. it destroyed me the first time around and i have to skip it on my rewatches unless i want to casually start sobbing out of nowhere. i adore this show's ability to make me feel so much for the victims on calls. we've known them for two, maybe three minutes and i'm still a fountain of waterworks when i press play.

HENREN IN THE CLUB!!!! i love them i love when they get to be all silly and goofy and in love. give me more happy henren in s7 please!

lucy doesn't know who taylor is to buck. she wasn't aware that buck had a gf when she kissed him, so she was confused about why taylor came up to her and started warning her about buck out of nowhere, especially when until then she'd only known taylor as the reporter who was interested in her lucky catch in 5x14 😅

also the way that so many characters get to have a second chance in may day completely RUINS me. and may calling bobby her dad? that scene is permanently tattooed in my brain 🥺🥺

i'm excited to hear what u have to say about season 6 :)