#shou um..... well you see he lives in my brain and the amount he could fill in myb rain is a library and in the actual show hes there for

[nonbinarywillow]

for the ship bingo hmmm i’m curious abt your mob psycho ship thoughts maybe ritsu+shou?? :0

hi im a little bit crazy about them but nobody understands them like i do so um........ i dont talk about them a lot . but in the tags of this post i go

[theduosetter]

━ 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 ║𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 𝐓𝐞𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐨

☆ Pairing: Au!Kuroo Tetsuro x f!reader

☆ Summary: Two broken hearts never truly heal no matter how many years pass. Maybe because the only person who can heal it is the one who caused the tear.

☆ Warning(s): angst, fluff,

☆ A|N: any feedback is appreciated! If you can please give it a heart or reblog it would really help my writing. Thank you!

Kuroo sighed for what seemed the millionth time today. His mind kept wandering off somewhere else, today felt different. There was something within him saying that today wasn't going to be the same again.

His phone vibrated once more alerting him of another incoming message. The screen lit up with the name Nanami. His lips moved as he saw the words spread out on the white background. Closing his eyes he leaned back against his office chair.

"What's with your face?" a voice spoke.

Kuroo rolled his eyes, "Nothing is wrong with my face, Kenma."

"Liar." he placed the folder down on his desk, "Is it Nanami?"

"No..." he half smiled "She's great actually... things are good between us right now."

"For someone who says that it sure doesn't look like it." Kenma said "Could have fooled me."

He sat up and looked at his friend, "Is there something that still needs to be done?"

Kenma shook his head "No everything important got taken care of."

Standing up he grabbed his blazer and put it on. "If anyone else calls can you take care of it?"

"Ok." before Kuroo could make it out the door, Kenma then asked him "Are you going to be alright?"

"I'll be alright. See you tomorrow..." he slightly smiled then took off.

Your feet grew tired as you kept walking the busy streets. The sun was just about to set down on the ocean. Even though it was warm, the air was nothing but fresh, the perk of living near coast.

A small smile formed on your lips as you saw kids running around the nearby playground, playing with their friends. It was the purest sound in the world; you thought.

There was never a doubt in your mind that being a mom was a gift. You hoped one day you too would have the chance at raising a mini you or a little boy that looked like your partner.

Your phone then rang. You quickly took it out of your bag and accepted the call.

"Hey love." you said "I'm on my way back home."

"I can't wait to see you." he said, making your chest tighten "I might be preparing something delicious for tonight."

"Really?" you asked "What's the occasion?"

He smiled, leaning back against the sink. "What, I can't just do something special for the love of my life?"

Your smile faltered as you remembered those words. Those were the ones that hurt you the most, even after almost 10 years.

"Of course you can." you replied "Can I have a hint on what it may be?"

"You would figure it out right away like last time. I'm not making that mistake again." he chuckled.

"It was one time, h/n." you smiled small, "Do you need me to bring something home from the store? I'm close to it."

"Pick out any drink you want to have and dessert if you'd like."

"Okay now I'm really curious about what you have up your sleeve, boy." you chuckled.

He bit his lip, smiling as he heard your laughter. "Don't take too long, alright?"

"I'll do my best love since it is rush hour. Wait for me?"

"Like you have to ask." he leaned over checking the food "I can't wait to see you. Text me when you get to the station."

"I will, love." you bid him goodbye and hung up.

It's sad how he has tried his best to make you happy and yet there's never a moment where something doesn't remind you of him. All these years you still wonder about how he's doing with his new partner. If he could accomplish the goals he had set out for himself. Even the thought if he maybe... still thought about you like you did.

Sighing, you shook your head "Stop it... you can't keep doing this to him. You're with h/n now not with him, he chose you agreed. No more second guessing." You mumbled.

You were about to turn left at the end of the playground when a stranger collided into you. Your feet slipped from underneath you. The bar that was put up around the playground was too far away for you to hold on to. Folding your elbows back, you opened your hands wide so you could stop your head from hitting the pavement.

Lucky enough, the tall stranger reacted in time and pulled you into him to avoid you injuring yourself. "I'm so sorry, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah... I'm fine..." you replied "That was close- wow I almost fell-" you tilted your head up and your breathing stopped.

The stranger kept their arm around your back, holding you against his chest. His eyes roamed the details on your face, from your eyes to shape of your lips. His heart was pounding against his chest, not believing you were in front of him.

"K-Kuroo..." you muttered.

"Y/n... I never thought I'd see you here." his brain couldn't wrap around the idea that you were here.

Realizing your chest was too close to his, you gently stepped back. Your cheeks flushed "I- um... I-I work around here."

"Right..." he mumbled "I thought you had stayed in Tokyo, is all."

"I got a job offer awhile back." You said "I've been living here ever since. What about you?..."

He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling shy suddenly. "I'm working with a company on a project along with Kenma."

"Wow... I knew Kenma was in town but didn't think you'd be here as well."

His head shot up "You spoke to Kenma?"

"Yeah..." you answered "He reached out to me and asked if we could meet up. I've been busy so I haven't had the chance..."

"Why didn't Kenma say anything to me?..." there was hurt in his eyes from the sudden news. "I thought Kenma of all people-"

You cut him off "I told Kenma that I didn't want you knowing. Don't blame him..."

"I see..."

The cars passed by, not knowing or caring about the two ex lovers on the sidewalk. Every person was moving on with their lives, focusing on getting home to their families.

You tried your best to calm your emotions. It was difficult to keep the facade up. Your body was itching to be again in his arms. "I should get going... goodbye Kuroo." you walked passed him hoping to forget you ever saw him.

However, Kuroo didn't want to let you go again this time. "Y/n, wait!" he yelled as he ran after you.

"He's not calling my name..." you repeated under your breath "He's not calling my name." Ignoring the loud sounds coming from the cars, you crossed the street.

"Y/n!" Kuroo yelled louder as he reached for you and held your wrist gently in his hand.

Looking over your shoulder, you made eye contact. "What are you doing, Kuroo?..."

"We need to talk." he gently spoke "It's been too many years."

"There's nothing to say about anything." you looked into his eyes "We both have our different lives, let's focus on that okay?"

"I don't want to walk away from you and regret it for the rest of my life again." Kuroo begged, "Please, give me a few minutes to talk with you...please."

Looking down at your watch, you saw you had some minutes to spare. "Okay..."

He let go of you, "Come on, I know where we should go." you followed him to the nearby bridge that was above an intersection along with shops down the street. You walked up the stairs and sat down on a bench that was in the middle of the two stairways.

It was awkward. As the seconds passed by, all you could think of were the things you wanted to say but felt afraid of saying it out loud. You were timid when it came to expressing how you felt since you were in high school. Yet when you met Kuroo that barrier was destroyed only for it to be rebuilt again a few years later.

"What did you need to tell me?" you asked, playing with your fingers.

"I'm sorry for how we ended things." your movement stopped "I thought back then that it was for the best. I didn't want to continue fighting every time with you. The amount of times we ended up apart became more frequent than the times we had ever spent together." His gazed was fixed on ground feeling too vulnerable to look at you "I didn't want to keep hurting you."

"I can't believe- why now?" you asked "Was that the reason you chose? You didn't want to stay and fixed things so you let me go?"

"We couldn't make things better and you know that y/n." he answered "Every time we tried it put distance between us more and more."

You closed your eyes trying to not let the tears fall "It's the fact that you lost hope in us that hurt Kuroo, not the breakup."

"It hurt me too..." he explained "But it hurt me more knowing you were suffering and not giving you the happiness that you deserved."

"I didn't care..." you sniffled "All I wanted was to be with you and solved it together. I kept on trying to find an answer as to what I did that was so wrong that made you leave me."

"What are you talking about-"

"You seriously don't remember?" you looked at him "The things you said to me that day... when I asked you why and all you said was because I didn't love you anymore, I don't want to stay by you. It's for the best Y/n go find your own life and forget about me."

He looked away, closing his eyes tightly. "I didn't mean to sound harsh..."

"But you did." you wiped away your tears "What hurt was the fact that you acted happy the last few days with me then suddenly... you ripped it off like a bandaid Kuroo..."

"I know..." he said "I know I fucked up- I kept thinking back every day after what happened."

You got up from the bench "Why did you pretend you were happy with me?"

"I wasn't pretending!" he exclaimed, getting up as well. "I was happy being with you."

"Could have fooled me... because knowing this now and you not remembering what you told me makes it harder to believe anything you say!"

"I need you. Trust me when I say that I still love you y/n." he stated.

"I-I can't..." you muttered, covering your face.

You were a sobbing mess, and it broke his heart that he was hurting you again when he vowed never to. Kuroo stepped forward slowly, trying to approach you.

"Please don't cry..." he said.

"I'm just tired of this... feeling this vulnerable and thinking about you," you admitted, "when I should focus on my future and not on the past..."

Kuroo stood in front of you, "Do you still love me?..." you didn't answer. He carefully took your hands into his own as he uncovered your face. "Do you still love me?..." he repeated himself.

His touch was arm, your head was dizzy. It's been so long since you were this close to him again. 'Did I still love him?' you thought, trying to figure out the answer on your own.

He gently wiped away your tears, "Because I haven't stopped Y/n... no matter where I'm going or who I'm with my mind goes back to you."

"Where was this 7 years ago?" you questioned "This love and worry you have about me? How you don't want to see me walk away from you again. Why did you show it too late to me? I wasted so much time wondering over someone who never once batted an eye to me when I saw you on campus those two years after our break up. I almost failed because my emotions were all over the place. If it hadn't been for the friends I had I wouldn't have moved on. Now you suddenly see me again one day and you confess you still love me? When you had chance after chance to tell me but chose not to." you clenched your jaw "You don't get to comeback and tell me you love me... it's not fair."

"I lived with the ache in my chest whenever I saw someone or something that reminded me of you. Out of all the y/n's in the world and each time someone said your name I turned around it hopes it was you but came empty every time it was a stranger." he breathed out trying to not break down in front of you but it became impossible. His voice cracked "I-I... still wish everyday that it had been you... y-you by my side a-and not someone else..."

"I wished we had met when we were older and wiser..." you whispered "Maybe then... this pain wouldn't exist within us."

He held your hand to his chest holding it tightly as he closed his eyes, trying to memorize your warmth. "We didn't know what to do... we were young and naive thinking love was such an easy thing to feel." he sniffled "It would be so easy... so damn e-easy... to say I'm sorry and start all over again. To go back to the days where were in l-love... without any problems..."

In all your years you had known Kuroo it was such a rare sight for him to cry and breakdown in front of you. After years, you were surprised to see he didn't feel shy or embarrassed of showing it to you again. It's like he had grown.

Gently you cupped his right cheek and he leaned into your touch. "I still do love you Kuroo..." you confessed "It scares me that I haven't been able to move on without you."

"I'm so sorry..." the pool of tears he held in his eyes were finally escaping "Maybe things would have worked o-out... if we had- no I had expressed my feelings earlier and told you how I felt from the beginning. If I had opened up myself up to you more and not runaway from the only person that had ever made me feel a whole. But I can't... I-I can't turn back time that was then and t-this is now..."

It was late. Yet hearing those words that you had dreamed for years to happen finally did. Life was definitely funny sometimes. One day you can keep convincing yourself you don't need that person that you're fine without them, then have it change with one interaction.

Smiling weakly you wiped away his tears. He smiled small feeling your thumb gently move against his cheek. "I can't believe I'm saying this but..." a chuckle escaped your lips "After all we've been through and still you make my heart beat like a teenager all over again."

"I would do anything to see you smile, Y/n." his eyes shined brightly as the sun's light reflected off his hazel orbs.

Your faces began to grow closer to one another. The space that was in between you two got shorter the longer you stared into each other's eyes.

"There's not anything else in this world that makes me happy as you do, y/n." he said.

Your foreheads gently rested against one another. His hands held your own tightly and brought them up to his lips. It made your stomach grow butterflies again.

Closing your eyes you focused on his touch not on the sounds of traffic. "I’d have my heart broken all over again if it meant that I could have those first six months with you."

He added "Those were the best months of my life."

Your phone then vibrated with messages coming in all at once. Kuroo freed one of your hands, you unlocked your device to see they were from h/n.

"Shoot..." you bit your lip.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

"My...um boyfriend... is asking where I am..." you answered feeling conflicted as to what would be the best thing to do.

"You call him and reassure him you're okay." he said "If I was in his place I'd be worried too."

You were surprised by how mature he was, nodding you dialed his number. After a few seconds h/n picked up. Kuroo stood by your side and waited for you to finish.

"Y/n! Where are you I've been worried sick!" he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry... I saw a friend and they needed to talk to me. I didn't mean to make you worry." you explained.

He breathed out in relief knowing you were okay. "It's okay, I'm glad you're okay. Are you on your way back home or are you still with them?"

"I'm still with them I didn't realize it would take long. But I'll be going to the station soon to grab the last train home." you answered.

"Alright, are you sure you don't want me to go pick you up?" he asked "I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"No don't worry I'll be home soon. I'll make sure to keep you posted okay?"

"Okay, please be careful. I love you." he said.

"I will, see you soon." you hung up then looked at him. "I should get going, Kuroo."

"I understand." he kissed your forehead softly "You don't owe me an explanation okay? Let's take it one step at a time. And if you still want to see me then I'll be here waiting for you. Like I should have done in the beginning."

Your heart swelled with joy that you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He smiled softly hugging you back tightly, "I missed you so much." you spoke burying your face in his neck.

"I missed you too, Y/n." he rested his chin on top of your head "Can I take you home?"

"I'd like that."

It didn't matter how long it took, he wasn't going to mess this second chance he had with you. He would wait a year if he needed to to be alongside you again. You were his world.

[mustdang-100]

Shifting Perspectives - Ch. 6

Serizawa & co. meet up with an old friend to engage in some hacking and uncover some truths. Shou and Teru commit acts of thievery and deceit.

Summary: 

How many espers does it take to rescue one abducted conman?

Months after the events of the World Domination arc, Reigen disappears sometime between leaving the office and after-work plans. Serizawa finds himself the unwilling leader of a bunch of former Claw members and a couple of stubborn teenagers, determined to get Reigen back.

On AO3: <http://archiveofourown.org/works/11091201/chapters/30306522>

Tumblr: Ch.1|Ch.2|Ch.3|Ch.4|Ch.5|Ch.6 - below|Ch.7

Serizawa rocked stiffly with the motion of the rattling train, clenching and unclenching sweaty palms in the folds of his suit. He was probably wrinkling the material of one of the few suits he owned, but couldn’t bring himself to care; it was all he had to focus on. Walking had been much better, had given him purpose, made him feel like they were getting somewhere. Now, in the too-bright artificial lights of the mostly-empty night train, the blaze of his anger had dulled, allowing the sickly buzz of panic to unfurl from its tiny corner in his mind. Serizawa felt the weight of every second that passed with Reigen still missing, heavy as the train rumbling along its tracks.

It was well past ten pm by the time the group of espers-turned-PIs arrived in the wealthier area of Spice City that Hatori called home. Hatori’s psychic specialty had translated well to the real world; he’d been hired by a technical support company around the same time Serizawa had started at Spirits & Such. Judging by the look of the tall, brightly-lit apartment building sitting just in sight of the coastline, it seemed Hatori had been rather successful at his new career. 

Serizawa shouldn’t have been surprised to find a doorman keeping watch at the building’s entrance, but it didn’t help his discomfort at the affluent surroundings. He was far out of his league, and the anxiety was just more fuel for the staticky panic that had begun to crackle in his ears, muffling his hearing.

The doorman eyed their group with a healthy amount of skepticism as they filed in. Serizawa put on his work face, trying to emanate confidence and trustworthiness. Any reassuring effect from his efforts was immediately ruined when Koyama presented the doorman with a wide, teeth-baring grin, lip piercings flashing and biceps flexing.

Serizawa sighed, and reached out a hand to pull him gently along. Sometimes his friends forgot being intimidating was no longer part of their job description.

Soft lighting illuminated a tastefully-decorated lobby. Steel and glass furniture lent a modern feel that was probably supposed to be elegant, but to Serizawa just felt sterile; he brushed self-consciously at his wrinkled and sweat-stained clothing. The lush white carpet swallowed the sound of their footsteps as they beelined for the elevators.

Tsuchiya pushed the button for the 18th floor, and the elevator doors closed with a soft clank. Awkward silence fell over the crowded group, interrupted only by the low hum of the engaging lifting mechanism. Numbers appeared above the door and slowly cycled by.

3

4

5

The tension fought with Serizawa’s exhaustion; he was simultaneously about to drop dead and yet miles from sleep. He glanced at his phone: ten forty-eight. Reigen had been missing for over 24 hours. Serizawa clenched his jaw in frustration and looked back up at the numbers, willing the elevator to move faster.

7…

8…

9…

They should have just taken the stairs; the movement would at least make him feel like he was doing something. Or hell, he could have just floated himself up to Hatori’s window from the outside, and damn the consequences if anyone saw-

Deep breath. Stay calm, stay in control. Serizawa berated himself, pushing again at the panic that had less give every time he had to force it down. If he was being honest with himself, arguing with his own anxiety just wasn’t effective when it got this bad. It was time to try something else.

“How long have you been in touch with Hatori?” Serizawa asked Minegishi the first thing that came to mind, simply as something to distract from the empty silence his brain was all too happy to fill.

Minegishi crossed his arms, tapping his fingers soundlessly on one arm. “I reached out to him pretty soon after we ran into each other, that time you first visited the plant shop.”

Serizawa blinked; now that, he hadn’t expected. Of the Super Five members, Serizawa had thought Minegishi the least likely to initiate reaching out to anyone.

Back at Claw, Minegishi had been standoffish to the point of dismissive of the rest of the Super Five, though Serizawa had thought, at the time, that the rest of them had been friends. He, Shibata, Shimazaki, and Hatori had spent a lot of time together; sometimes, it had even been fun. He’d enjoyed being able to talk openly about his powers with others, others like him, for the first time in his life.

Hindsight had shown him how little he’d understood.

His memories of the others were now shadowed with doubt and hurt and the realization that they had not been his friends, not really. Real friendship – the way he was friends with Shigeo, the way he was friends with Reigen – meant a two-way street. There was investment on both sides, investment in each others’ feelings and each others’ happiness.

There had been none of that in Claw. Everything was about the society, and its plans… and its leader. The other members of the Super Five had been too self-absorbed and too occupied with their own enjoyment and the sparkling future painted for them by their boss’s lying tongue, to be real friends.

After Claw – after the President – Serizawa had decided it would be best for him not to see any of the others again. A clean break healed easier than a messy, lingering injury. That plan was ruined when he ran into Minegishi at the plant shop a couple of weeks after starting at Spirits & Such.

Even to his novice’s eye, Serizawa had thought the orchids in the window looked stunning. He’d gone into the shop hoping to look at them more closely. Of course, if he was honest with himself his real interest in the flowers came from searching for conversation points with his new boss. He’d been surprised to find the least-friendly of his former coworkers employed at the unassuming little shop.

Caring for the plants at the shop had been good for Minegishi. Since Claw’s ostentatious demise he’d lost some of his callousness, replacing it with a stoic optimism and compassion. Thinking this through, Serizawa realized Minegishi’s unexpected desire for a support system wasn’t so out of character as he’d first thought.

Minegishi had been the one to stay in touch with Serizawa after their reunion. The two bonded over stories of living among non-esper neighbors: the time Serizawa retrieved his mail with an absentminded wave of his hand, only to watch it fly straight into an unsuspecting passing neighbor’s face; the times Minegishi forgot that while it was common for people to talk to plants, it was veryunusual for the plants to communicate back.

“Oh,” Serizawa said awkwardly, the reminder that he’d been having a conversation suddenly filtering back through his fatigue. “Um, how’s he been?”

Serizawa tried to say it casually; he had mixed feelings on seeing Hatori again. Unlike Minegishi, who had seemed essentially unfazed, Hatori had been hurt by the President’s betrayal of their ���select’ group. He’d still been in shock the last time Serizawa had seen him, and Serizawa had no idea how Hatori might feel about him now.

Minegishi shrugged. “He’s fine. He gets a little anxious sometimes, having to spend so much time with non-espers for his job. Just like us.”

Serizawa gave him a small smile. “You get nervous about non-espers?”

“Hmm…” Minegishi quirked a corner of his mouth. “I guess ‘frustrated’ might be the more accurate term.”

“Oh,” Sakurai said, under his breath, “-do I ever feel you on that.” Koyama laughed softly, patting Sakurai comfortingly on one shoulder.

Minegishi’s smile grew. “I have my outlets, as does Hatori. From what I understand, his mostly involves yelling at people on the internet. I don’t really get it, but he gets great enjoyment out of it.”

A soft ding announced their arrival at the 18th floor, cutting short the conversation.

Hatori answered the door at the first knock, his eyes going wide as he took in the large group waiting on his doorstep. He met Serizawa’s gaze and immediately ducked his head away, searching faces. It wasn’t until he saw Minegishi that he relaxed, some of the tension easing from his shoulders. Then his eyes, behind the same old square-framed glasses, found Serizawa’s face again. He smiled uncertainly.

“Hey, Serizawa – long time no see?” His voice went up in tone at the end, making the statement a question. “You, uh. You look good.”

“Uh… thanks.”

They stood in awkward silence for a minute, until Minegishi gave a quiet sigh.

“Nozomu – I think we’re a little limited on time here.”

“Oh… yes! Right! Let’s get to it.” Hatori seemed relieved, hand going up to ruffle hair that already looked as though he’d stuck his finger in an electrical socket. He waved them in, hurrying through a sparsely-furnished living room to the enormous computer set-up occupying most of one wall.

Four large monitors formed one huge screen that stretched almost floor to ceiling. Serizawa stared in awe at the screens, one filled with scrolling text boxes, another with the plain text and code of an open terminal.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry about the clutter.” Hatori looked up at Serizawa and then quickly away again, hurriedly closing windows and tabs. “Toshiki said, uh, you needed my help with something? Finding your boss?”

Serizawa breathed easier, focusing. “Yes, please. We know where he was taken from, so we were hoping, maybe you could see if there were any cameras there, and if you’d be able to get the footage…?”

He trailed off awkwardly; the idea sounded impossible, putting it out like that. But Hatori was nodding, fingers flying over the keyboard as he pulled up a map.

“I’m really better with radio signals – you’re lucky that I’ve been honing the use of my powers on computer tech lately. At work I keep fixing problems no one else can fix, for some reason.” Hatori grinned, just a little mischievously. “The problem comes when the other guys ask me to show them how I did it – I’ve had to get creative.”

Minegishi snorted. Hatori flicked a grin his way before returning to the map in front of him.

“Okay. There might be a police cam on that corner, but not all of those are connected to the internet, so it might be difficult to find where the footage is actually kept… but if one of the stores along the street has a camera, I might be able to tap into the security feed…”

Hatori’s words trailed off and his eyes grew distant, no longer looking at the screen but instead somewhere else, a virtual world only he could see. Windows began popping up on the screen all on their own, showing still images of random bits of city street. They each only remained for a moment before closing again, to make way for another in quick succession, all without Hatori ever touching a keyboard.

“Holy shit,” Tsuchiya whispered from behind Serizawa. “‘Better with radio signals’ my ass.” Serizawa could only nod.

Finally a window stayed open, showing only an empty, darkened street. Hatori blinked rapidly, as though clearing his vision, and looked up at Serizawa.

“Point me the exact location again?”

Serizawa gestured silently to the spot on the map where they’d found Reigen’s belongings. Hatori nodded in satisfaction.

“We got lucky – there’s a convenience store across the street that has a cam. I think that spot should appear on screen.

Serizawa’s buzzing panic began to clash with a sprouting seed of hope as a new browser window opened and a download bar began counting down. By the time the download was complete, Serizawa’s skin was beginning to itch with the tension. Hatori pulled up the footage file from the entire day before, and the whole group leaned in a little closer.

Serizawa’s heart was pounding. “Start from six o’clock in the afternoon, the last time I saw him. That way we know we won’t miss him.”

Hatori shrugged, but scrolled the viewing bar to the requested time and started the footage, sped up. The video quality wasn’t great; a little pixelated, and the camera lens hadn’t been cleaned in a while, blurring the view. Yet it was still obvious when a person flashed by on the screen.

At each stranger’s appearance, their movements made abrupt and jerky from the speed, Serizawa’s heart leapt and then plummeted in disappointment. Minutes ticked by in the corner of the window, then an hour; the scene before them grew dimmer as it darkened with the setting sun, Serizawa’s hopes dimming with it.

Please, he thought, despite the sick twisting of his stomach that told him this was hopeless. Please please please…

He recognized Reigen the instant he appeared on the screen.

“Stop!”

Hatori hit pause, rewound to the first instant Reigen appeared, and then hit play in real time. Serizawa drank in the lanky form of his boss striding confidently down the sidewalk. He’d walked almost too far, almost out of sight of the camera’s lens, when a car pulled up next to him.

Despite its futility, Serizawa felt the urge to scream a warning to Reigen. When the two people appeared behind him, dressed all in formless dark clothing, he wanted yell at him to run, to run now. But of course, that would be useless. All he could do was stare at the screen, fists clenched, as one of them extended something compact and dark.

Reigen fell.

Reigen did not get up again.

Watching his prone, twitching body, Serizawa found he could not breathe deeply enough, a choking mass of horror suffusing his chest. He wanted to close his eyes, to look away. He could not tear his gaze from the screen.

One of the anonymous enemy leaned over Reigen; Serizawa stiffened when he saw a gleam of light reflect off something small.

A gun? A knife?

A third person appeared from the gloom, a woman with a medium skin tone and short dark hair. She stood with a confident, commanding bearing that told Serizawa instantly that she was in charge. The woman made a signal with her hands, directing one of the others to open the back of the sedan and climb in. She then motioned at Reigen’s limp body, which levitated, following the person into the car. It took Serizawa a second to remember that wasn’t normal, and provided a new piece of the puzzle.

Reigen had been kidnapped by espers.

The car drove away, leaving the scene once again an empty stretch of cracked sidewalk and blank building wall. If he squinted, Serizawa could see the shape of Reigen’s wallet left on the ground.

The silence held, six people watching the seconds continue to tick by.

Serizawa realized he was trembling.

And that the room around them, too, was shaking, just a little, as if in echo of his rage and terror. But Serizawa could no longer see the room, too obscured by the writhing mass of his own aura.

They’d just… taken him. Right off the street. There was nothing he could have done to prepare, to prevent it. And he still had no idea who these people were, or why they’d taken Reigen. Or if Reigen was even alive.

All the hope he’d allowed to build up, despite his best efforts to crush it back down, collapsed into a crumpled heap.

For all he knew, he’d just watched Reigen’s death occur right in front of him.

The room shuddered again, stronger this time as his power boiled and leapt. It pushed, shoving at the boundaries of control he’d worked so hard to build and fortify.

He had so much power.

He was so powerless.

Serizawa was drowning, and there was nothing for him to hold onto.

The red-haired man, backlit hand outstretched.

“Let me teach you to use your power correctly.”

But he hadn’t. Serizawa had been as trapped as he ever was.

“As long as I’m with you, you’ll be fine.”

He’d been lied to by everyone around him, including, most damningly, himself.

“You cannot survive on your own.”

But… no, wait... that wasn’t right.

The President had been wrong .

“Serizawa, he was only using you for your power. You told me this, you know this; you just have to keep reminding yourself of it.”

A brief loss of control over his powers had resulted in a shattered mug, easily contained by a wave of Shigeo’s hand. A small mistake, but representing all of Serizawa’s deepest doubts and fears – he’d sunk to the floor, shaking hands pressed to his face. Reigen’s voice, softly encouraging, was all it took; Serizawa had spilled his demons into Reigen’s confident, ever-moving hands.

“That kind of ‘help’ was nothing more than another trap. He kept you dependent on him, so that he could use you.”

Reigen pointed at him.

“Your powers are a tool, a tool only you can decide to do good or ill with. They are a part of you, but they do not control you. You need to convince yourself of that, so that you depend wholly on yourself. And that might not be an easy thing; you’ve had a lifetime to convince yourself otherwise. It’s going to take some time, and mistakes will happen. In fact, mistakes are part of the process.”

He smiled, crossing his arms.

“Just remember that Mob is here for you, and so am I, for when you need support. Until you reach the point where you can stand on your own two feet, even in the most dire of circumstances and most tumultuous of emotions. I have no doubt you will succeed; you’re under my tutelage, after all!”

Serizawa’s powers wanted to rage, to throw themselves upon everything and everyone around him, to rip and smash and destroy.

But they belonged to him.

One last frisson of energy rolled through the room, less an uncontrolled outburst than a prickle of cold, determined outrage, shifting unsettlingly across walls and floors and skin.

He was better than he’d been in Claw. And he would stay that way. It was the only way he’d be able to get Reigen back. No more explosions; he couldn’t afford it right now. He’d let himself go later, when he knew whether Reigen was alive, when he had him back, and safe.

The room, at last, was still. Serizawa looked up, and blinked at the five pairs of eyes fixed on him.

“Um… s-sorry,” Serizawa said, panting a little. He swallowed. “Won’t – won’t happen again.”

Tsuchiya slowly placed a picture frame back onto the desk it had fallen off of.

Serizawa looked around in surprise: the frame was the only item that had fallen in the entire room. He breathed a bit easier; he’d failed to keep his powers trapped beneath his skin but contained their actual impact, so while the other espers in the room had been able to see the battle he’d waged, it had made almost no effect on the physical world. Almost.

He glanced at Tsuchiya. “Ah, thanks for catching that.”

She shrugged well-muscled shoulders, not entirely hiding her unease. “Hell, what are friends for?”

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, only now convinced the danger had passed. Hatori gave Serizawa a shaky smile.

“Wow, look at that. We always thought you’d never be able to survive outside of Claw.”

Serizawa sighed, closing his eyes in weariness. “You and me both, at the time.”

When he opened them again, Hatori had rewound the video to the moment something had flashed in one of the kidnapper’s hands.

Koyama frowned. “I thought that was a knife, but is that… a syringe?”

“Yes, yes I think so,” Sakurai said, nodding a little more earnestly than he might have usually. “It’s got to be a drug to knock him unconscious.”

Serizawa peered at the image, fearing they might be lying to him. But yes, yes that made sense. Just knocking him out. Just unconscious. Not dead.

Minegishi studied the screen, arms crossed. “Well, not much luck on the why, but at least we’ve got some visuals on the who. At least one esper.” He softly touched the image of the woman on-screen, then turned to face the others.

“I think it might be best for us to take a break at this point. It will give Hatori a chance to look through everything more closely and see if we’ve missed anything. Right Hatori?”

“Oh, uh of course! I can try; anything is possible.” Hatori had already excised the section of footage featuring the kidnapping, and was now running it through a software that broke it down frame by frame. He dragged his eyes from the screen to pull a flash drive from the computer, and press it into Serizawa’s palm.

“A copy of the clip, just in case,” he said absently, before turning back to his monitors. Serizawa slid the drive into his pocket. He never wanted to see that video again, if he could help it.

“A break will also give some of us,” Minegishi continued, looking pointedly at Serizawa, “the chance to get some sleep. We can start again in the morning, fresh.”

Serizawa clenched his fists in frustration. “We wasted all this time to get that video hoping it would lead us to him, and it’s basically useless. How can I possibly sleep now, when we have to figure out why the hell espers wanted Reigen and-”

Minegishi was unruffled. “You’re exhausted. You’re going to run yourself into the ground like this. How, exactly, does that help Reigen?”

“And it wasn’t useless,” Tsuchiya said, a hand going to his shoulder. “It looks like they took him alive. He’s alive, Serizawa. You’ve got to remember that. And the way they took him, there’s no reason to think they wouldn’t keep him alive.”

Serizawa closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He felt the fatigue settling deeper into his bones, dragging at his limbs and enveloping his mind. As much as he hated to stop moving forward, Reigen deserved him at his best.

Alive . For now, it was all he could hold onto.

***

The dream took a different path, this time.

The President raised his hand for a killing blow, Reigen and Shou staring up with wide, fearful eyes. Serizawa had to get in front of them, protect them, save them. That’s what had happened, back then, he told the dream stubbornly. The dream disagreed.

Serizawa started to run to them, but his limbs wouldn’t respond to his brain. They moved sluggishly, as though dragged down by thick, clinging mud. It did not matter that he knew he was supposed to be moving faster, that he was capable of so much more speed. In his head, a voice was screaming. The voice was his own.

He didn’t make it in time.

The President’s power flashed in an eruption of smoke, in a boom of subsonic sound Serizawa didn’t hear so much as feel, like a spasm in his chest.

And Reigen fell.

No, NO! This wasn’t right! Wait, Shou, where… where was Shou…

And in the way of dreams, Reigen’s body was suddenly smaller, with bright red hair. So small, and so very still.

They were both gone, because he had failed.

Serizawa bolted upright.

“S-Shou?”

He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, breathing heavily, chest heaving, sweat dripping down his back. Eyes cleared, he looked around his dark bedroom, almost certain he’d see someone there, someone with a familiar, bright, sparkling aura…

There was no one else there.

Serizawa eased out of bed, all his senses on alert, psychic and otherwise. Yet, nothing seemed out of place. His lights were off and he could hear the familiar dripping of the leaky faucet in his bathroom. His shed clothes lay in a heap where he’d left them, just below the window. The window which was, he noticed with a start, wide open. And he was pretty sure it had only been cracked when he’d finally fallen into fitful sleep…

He moved to the window, scanning the view of the empty lot outside for anything out of place. Still, nothing. He must have just left the window all the way open and forgotten about it.

A breeze blew in, unusually cool for this time of year. It fluttered along his sweat-slicked skin and he shivered.

Maybe the wind had been responsible for the odd feeling that someone… someone had just been here. Or, you know, maybe he was just going out of his mind with worry and paranoia, and needed to stop imagining things that weren’t there.

Serizawa rubbed a hand down his face and slid the window shut. He returned to bed, bundled himself back into his sheets, and waited for sleep that refused to return.

***

“Ok, so that was a little close for comfort.” Shou slid into the seat across from Teru, slapping a flash drive down on the café table triumphantly. “I might have banged a foot on the windowsill on my way out. But here, I was right – Hatori always backs up everything. Typical nerd.”

Teru tried to pretend he hadn’t jumped at Shou’s abrupt entrance and casually put his phone face down on the table, taking up the flash drive instead. He plugged the drive into his laptop, selecting the only file on it. As the video software began to load, he shot Shou a look of disgust.

“Please, speak up a little more. I think only half the café heard the details of your act of breaking and entering.”

“What, all these people?” Shou flung his hands out, gesturing at the almost empty coffee shop. “Calm the fuck down, nobody cares.”

The middle-aged waitress who’d been eyeing Teru for the last half-hour began approaching their table, frowning. Teru sighed, and minimized the video player so that his screen displayed only the series of math problems he’d been using as a cover.

The waitress stopped at their table, suspicious eyes settling on Shou.

“Everything alright with you boys? It seems a bit late for you two to be out; do you need me to call anyone for you?”

Teru met Shou’s gaze, warning him to keep his mouth shut, then brushed gleaming hair out of his face and gazed sorrowfully up at the waitress.

“Oh, no, ma’am, we’re fine. I’m so sorry if my friend got a little too loud. He’s just upset about a geometry problem he hasn’t quite grasped, and was expressing his distress.”

The waitress focused on Teru, her frown softening, seeming to forget that Shou was there. Teru, accustomed to this response, immediately took advantage.

“I’m so sorry for the late hour; ‘all-night café’ doesn’t give anyone the excuse to get rowdy, does it?” Teru shook his head, as if asking how anyone could be so rude as to disturb the peace in the middle of the night.

“I’ve been trying to find time to tutor my friend here, but my poor mother’s failing health means I don’t want to stay up late at home, keeping her up. And Shou’s house… Shou’s house is not really the best working environment.” He sighed sadly, his voice suffused with mournful insinuation. The waitress nodded in understanding.

“Getting into a good high school is just so important, and I’d be absolutely devastated if my young friend Shou doesn’t make it into the same school I got into.” Teru lowered his eyes modestly. “Moutarde de Dijon Preparatory High, perhaps you’ve heard of it?”

“Oh, my!” The waitress’s eyes rounded at the name of what certainly must be one of the highest-ranked high schools in the prefecture. Teru sighed again and shook his head woefully, lowering his voice, inviting her to join him in pitying his poor, geometrically-inept friend.

“He really needs the extra help; I do hope you don’t mind? I’d simply hate to be a bother.”

“Ah, oh! That’s so nice of you to help your friend. No, no, that’s fine; I can tell you’re good, hard-working boys.”

Teru beamed at the waitress, who blinked, confronted with such a pure expression of radiant gratitude.

“Oh, thank you. He promises he’ll keep it down, right Shou?” They both turned to look across the table. Teru took the opportunity to shoot him a glare that promised violence and suffering if he didn’t agree. Shou rolled his eyes, but didn’t argue.

Teru snapped the smile back on his face as the waitress turned her attention inexorably back to him.

“You boys study hard now. Let me know if you need anything.” She walked back to the counter, seeming a bit dazed.

Shou, Teru was gratified to see, looked a little unnerved.

“That was creepy as hell. Don’t do that again.”

Teru propped a hand under his chin and turned his smile on Shou, upping the wattage to blinding levels of incandescence.

“Do what?”

“Shut up – you know what. That… that teacher’s pet thing. It’s weird, coming from you.”

Teru snickered, but dropped the act, turning his attention back to the screen and pulling the video window back up. Shou scooted a chair up closer to him, peering at the screen as Teru hit play.

All humor drained from Teru as he watched; he couldn’t keep himself from flinching when Reigen was hit.

Oh no, no, oh fuck, no you DON’T-

Shou startled him by reaching out a hand to pause the video. He stared, pale eyes narrowed, at the figure of the woman on the screen, one side of her face dimly illuminated as she gestured at Reigen’s body.

Shou spoke without looking away from the image.

“I know her.”

“You what?”

“I mean, I recognize her; I don’t know her personally.” An eye roll. “But I’ve seen her at the building they’re keeping my dad at.”

Teru was taken aback. “You know where they’re holding your dad?”

“Um, yeah, duh. I make it my business to know everything about my parents, including their whereabouts. It’s safer for me.”

Safer?

Chagrin flashed in Shou’s face, so fast that Teru almost missed it.

“I mean… it keeps me ahead of anything that concerns me, ya know?” He threw Teru a side-eyed look. “How irresponsible do you think I am?”

Teru shut his teeth tight on his automatic, scathing response.

“Ahem. I suppose… I thought you wouldn’t have bothered keeping track of him. Were you not trying to kill him before?”

“No, I was trying to stop him. I-” Shou bit his words off mid-sentence, eyes flashing bright with anger. “The point is, they might be keeping Reigen at the same place. And I know where that place is. So pack up your shit, and let’s go already.”

Teru continued to study the laptop screen, committing as much information to memory as he could about the people who had taken Reigen. He then pulled out his phone, ignoring Shou’s intense gaze and tapping leg.

“You’ve got to be kidding me-”

“Get off my ass, I just have to send a text.”

Teru stared again at the message he’d received three hours ago and, for once, not been excited to see its sender pop up on the screen.

    🐱Shigeo😊  

    Saturday 10:06 pm

    Hi Teru I’m confused about some of the math for the summer hmwk, and you said you had time to meet up this week? What about tmrw?

Teru hesitated only a moment more before typing the message he’d spent most of the past three hours considering.

    🌟Teru🌟

    Sunday 1:14 am

    Of course, I’d love to help! 😄 Unfortunately I can’t tomorrow, something’s come up and I’m not sure exactly how long it’ll take to resolve. 😑 But I’ll let you know as soon as I’m free!

Teru turned off his phone and shoved it into his pocket before stuffing the laptop back in his bag.

“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

“Oh, are you sure you’re done? I know how important it is that you text everyone and their dog about what hairstyle you’re wearing this week.”

“Please, that’s what Instagram is for. Far more efficient. Time is of the essence in kidnapping cases, you know.”

Shou flung his hands in the air in exasperation, keeping them raised as he marched out the café door, which opened before him all on its own. Teru followed as nonchalantly as possible, waving goodbye to the motherly waitress to distract her from the front door’s sudden and mysterious flair for the dramatics.

[winryofresembool]

Survivor’s guilt

Happy holidays @agoldentimelover!! I am your secret santa :D You said you like EdWin and angst so this fic contains both of those things, although it should be noted that faithful to my style, there might be a decent amount of fluff as well ;) This fic takes place 3ish years after the Promised Day, when Ed has already returned from his trip to East (well, that’s a personal headcanon of mine), and he and Winry have been married for a little while. Huge thanks to my beta @mysticdelphox97 for making sure this doesn’t entirely suck! I hope you enjoy :)

(word count: 2466 words)

@fullmetalsecretsanta

Edward didn’t know where he was. He looked around, trying to find some clues about his whereabouts, like a familiar building or something, but he didn’t succeed. All he saw around him was a yard with a swing, a sandbox, some toys in there, a high fence, and a grey brick house. Not a particularly beautiful sight. Ed was about to leave the yard, although he still didn’t understand how he had gotten there in the first place, when the door behind him opened, and out ran a little girl with brown braids, and a light-furred dog. They seemed surprised about the unexpected guest, as if they didn’t have guests here very often, but nevertheless very excited. Finally, someone who might play with them! The girl told Ed that her mother had left a couple of years earlier and her father was so absorbed by his work that he didn’t have time for playing.

Since Ed wasn’t in a hurry at that moment, he promised to stay with the girl for a while. He knew firsthand how awful loneliness felt, because he himself hadn’t gotten the attention he would have needed from adults after his mother’s death. At least he had had Al. And Winry. And Granny Pinako. And a bit after that (before Al and his lives changed in a dramatic way on that one faithful day), Izumi and her husband Sig had kept the boys busy. But this girl—Nina, she had told him—only had her dog, and for this reason Ed didn’t want to leave her alone. They played ball and tag, tried to get as high as possible on the swing, and laughed and told each other stories, and during that time Ed decided that he had to talk with the girl’s father. Perhaps tell him what it felt when your own father neglected you. If only he could have done that to his own old man…

Before that though, Ed decided he would just quickly drop by a local restaurant because he didn’t even how long it had been since his last meal. It felt like he was away from Nina’s house only for a moment, but when he came back, it was too late. When Ed rang the doorbell, the door wasn’t opened by Nina, but instead a man with glasses and a tired expression, his hair color like the girl’s. Ed asked where she was, but he didn’t get a proper answer. The man simply stated that he didn’t know, but he had just finished an experiment, and wanted to show it to the boy. He led Edward to the basement of the house, but Ed couldn’t help but feel something creepy was going on. Finally, the man, Shou Tucker, pointed out what he had wanted to show. A chimera. With light fur. It seemed like a mix of a dog and a girl. It was quiet for a moment, but then the thing spoke. “Play with me,” it requested.

Edward screamed as loud as he could.

He was woken up by his own screaming. His throat felt as if he had been yelling for a good while before waking up. His heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was trying to get out of his chest. He was covered in sweat and tears, and he couldn’t decide if it was hot or cold in the room. At last he calmed down enough to register that Winry had pinned him down, stopping him from thrashing about. She was looking at him with a worried and sad expression, her blue eyes dark and tear-filled. Finally, Winry decided Ed had recovered enough for her speech to get through to him.

“A nightmare? You haven’t seen them in a while…” the young woman asked quietly.

“Yeah…” Ed admitted when he finally managed to speak.

After a little while he asked: “Did I… hurt you?” Panic was audible in his voice. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he had accidentally hurt her. Or the baby, he thought, his gaze resting on the visible bump of his wife’s belly.

“No! I was afraid you were gonna hurt yourself if you continue thrashing like that… That’s why I tried to stop you.”

“Winry, we have been talking about this, you shouldn’t be near me, when… you know… I could accidentally do something!”

“Ed, I’m not afraid of you. Not even during your night terrors. And I care about you too damn much to just leave you alone when you have one of those.”

“Ugh…”

“Do I need to brain you, so you’ll understand?” she asked threateningly.

“Gosh, no! But you still know my opinion.”

“I do. But I don’t agree with it.” Her voice softened when she added: “Listen, I once read that it helps you if you talk about it. What was your dream about?”

It was about her again,” Ed whispered.

“Who?” Winry stared at her husband in confusion. It had been three years since Ed and Al’s return to Resembool, but he had never talked about any particular “her”. Did he still see nightmares about their mother? Or the creature he and Al had created when they tried to get her back....

“Oh. I didn’t realize I haven’t ever talked about her to you… It’s a long story.” His golden eyes had turned from shocked to sorrowful at the mention of ‘her’.

“Ed. You know I want to know what’s bothering you. Please.”

“Fine,” he sighed, trying to gather himself.

“When Al and I were traveling… we heard about this ‘sewing-life alchemist’. He had managed to create a talking chimera, so of course we thought getting some information from him might help us to get closer to returning Al back into his body.”

“Go on,” Winry encouraged when Ed stopped talking. She knew that what he was about to tell her must be something terrible, but carrying that burden just by himself was something Ed always did – and it hurt him more than he knew himself. Talking about it would hopefully help him to relieve some of the pain.

“Um. I’ll try. I want to be honest with you, this isn’t gonna be easy. It’s one of my most painful memories.”

He had never been good with words, but after that nightmare it felt even harder. But some voice in him told him it would be the right thing to do.

“I understand,” she reassured him, and took his left hand into hers while he was trying to find the right words.

“We went to that alchemist’s house, and found out that he had a 4-year-old daughter, Nina. And a dog. His wife had supposedly left a couple of years earlier. We studied a lot while in there. Tucker had a lot of books that we couldn’t find from the library, but during our breaks we played with the girl and the dog. She was such an innocent little thing, but so lonely, because her father was doing his tests all the time.”

Ed felt chills going through his spine just thinking about what he was about to say, but Winry deserved to know. She needed to know why her current condition made him see nightmares.

“Then one day, when we came back to Tucker’s house, Nina and Alexander, the dog, weren’t greeting us at the door anymore. I should have read the signs earlier, I should have noticed something was badly wrong… But I didn’t. Tucker had his state alchemist assessment coming, and he was desperate to finish his project, so he would continue to get funding from the military. And that day, he had finally finished it.”

His voice broke, and he had to take a few deep breaths before he was able to continue his story.

“He… wanted to show us his test results… He… he had managed to create another chimera. He took us to see it, and… the chimera spoke. It said my name… and it said… it wanted to play with us. And then… I just knew.”

Ed was shaking now, looking physically ill, but somehow, he still managed to say the thing that explained it all:

“The… the chimera was made of… Nina… and Alexander.”

“What?” For a moment Winry didn’t know what else to say. This was even worse than she had imagined. What kind of person would do anything like that?

“I’m so, so, so sorry Ed. If I had known… I would have made you tell this.”

“It’s OK. You need to know. It explains why I saw this particular nightmare tonight.”

“Is it… because of the baby?”

Ed didn’t answer for a long while. He just stared at something she couldn’t see.

“When it happened… It was the first time I felt I could honestly kill someone. Hell, I might have if Al hadn’t been there. We left, and people were coming to arrest Tucker… but later we found out both he and Nina had been killed.”

“I can’t even imagine… how that must have felt.”

“No one… should… ever…” Ed didn’t need to finish his sentence. She understood.

Winry knew Ed hated her tears more than anything, but she couldn’t stop them, particularly not because there was a brand-new life growing inside her. She held Ed tightly in her arms and just cried, and let him cry in his own way, just shaking and burying his head on her shoulder.

They were in that position for a good while, but suddenly Winry realized Ed hadn’t answered her question earlier, and asked carefully:

“Ed?”

“Hmm?”

“You haven’t seen nightmares in a while… but now you did. Do you… maybe think that the baby triggered it?”

“I don’t… I think… It’s possible.”

“Ed…”

“When that incident with Nina happened, I felt so helpless. I let it happen. I couldn’t save her. It made me realize how insignificant I was. And now? I am afraid that the same thing will happen again. If something happened to our child, even though I could stop it, I would never, ever, forgive myself.

“Edward Elric. Please, look at me right now,” Winry said with a tone that was harsher than she had intended. “What makes you think anything would happen? You may have your flaws, but you have never, not once, hurt me intentionally. You would never do it to our child. When it comes to that Nina… you can’t keep blaming yourself. You just said /no one/ knew about that man’s true intentions. You need to stop carrying burdens that don’t belong to you.”

“It’s much easier said than done, Winry.” Ed growled, getting a bit frustrated. He couldn’t help but feel responsible for what had happened because he had been there when Tucker had been planning on everything. She hadn’t been there, she couldn’t understand…

“Ed? Why do you think I really was so angry every time you showed up with a broken automail?”

“Well, why?”

“Because all those times I felt I had failed you. Building your automail was the only way I knew how to help you, and when I saw it had broken, I felt useless. I felt I had betrayed you. I had failed to protect you. I felt I could have done more… It’s really not that different from how you feel.”

“Oh…” he had never really thought about it from that point of view. It was his turn to reassure her, so he said with a sad smile on his face:

“You didn’t fail me, though. I’m still right here.”

“I’m so happy you are,” Winry murmured and snuggled her head against his chest.

“You know, Ed…” she continued with the earlier topic, “What happened, happened, and you can’t change that. What you can change is your future. Our future.” She blushed a bit when she added: “I just know that you are going to be an amazing father.”

“How do you know that?” Ed asked, genuinely surprised by Winry’s statement. Not having had a proper father figure, the young man was constantly worried about not knowing how to be a father. But now his wife was saying he’d be just fine?

“Because I’ve known you my entire life, you silly, and I know you’re just petty enough to show everyone that you are not like your father,” Winry tried to lighten the mood, and earned a pillow on her face.

“Hey! I’m not petty! I’ll show you!” he exclaimed, but instead of starting a pillow fight, he threw the pillow away and it was Winry’s turn to get pinned down (he did it carefully, though, because there was no way he’d hurt the baby even by accident). He leaned his head close to hers and asked: “Well? Still petty?”

“Not at all,” his wife rolled her eyes, but Ed ignored that and made her a bit light-headed by kissing her with the amount of passion Edward Elric was capable of.

“Thanks for cheering me up. You are pretty awesome. Sometimes,” he said when he pulled away to get some air.

“And you are a big dumb-o,” Winry giggled and showed him her tongue.

“Why did you marry you?” he asked, but the gleam in his eyes told her he wasn’t being serious at all.

“Believe me, I ask myself the same question every day. But whether you like it or not, you are stuck with me… no, stuck with us, forever. And once the baby grows up, I’m gonna teach it to kick your ass every time you start blaming yourself for things that are not in your hands.”

“I’d like to see that,” Ed answered mischievously, and lifted Winry’s night shirt a bit so he could see the little baby bump. “Hey little guy, did you hear that?” he asked as he leaned to give it a light kiss. “Your mother is threatening me.”

“Oh, for god’s sake, Ed…”

“He needs to know the facts even before his birth.”

“He? How can you be so sure?”

“I just am. I am the one who transmuted him, after all.”

“Again with the alchemy terms… you nerd.”

“Gearhead.”

“You love this gearhead,” Winry said, though it was more of a question than a statement.

“I do,” Ed answered without a second thought (he thanked the Truth for learning to not blush every time he said that).

“Ugh, come here,” Winry said with a soft voice and Ed gave her stomach one more kiss and rose from his spot, accepting Winry’s hug.

“I love you too, alchemy freak. And you know… I’m glad you told me what you told tonight… I don’t want you to carry all of that inside you, alone, ever again.”

“Thanks, Winry.” he said quietly, but the kiss that followed told her more than he was ever able to tell with words.