#sholmes calling van zieks mr reaper to his face is so silly

[milkshaketae]

this is their 3rd time getting a divorce btw

[bailey-reaper]

Barok getting roped into a Dance of Deduction by Herlock while out on an investigation. Either as the subject of the dance, or Herlock's dance partner.

Of Death & Deductions

Notes: Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this one, anon - it's such an amusing premise and I've been trying to think of the best way to deliver it! Hopefully this offering is alright!

Content Warnings: Herlock. Sholmes.; Tia tries to create a Logic & Reasoning Spectacular; tries is the operative word...; I'm sorry Capcom.

"Mr. Reaper!"

Herlock announced his presence loudly and with dramatic flair as he threw himself through the Prosecutor's (thankfully open) window and rolled along the floor before hopping up to a stand before the man's desk.

". . ."

Barok was quietly penning a letter to the Attorney General's Office at the time, and his pen did not even flinch at the sudden appearance of the irksome detective. Instead, he ignored his 'guest' (lit. intruder) and continued with his work.

"What? No welcome?! Not even a cry of shock!? I'm disappointed... clearly I must redouble my efforts," Herlock folded his arms while looking thoughtful.

"... A novel suggestion," Barok said, not looking up from his letter, "But perhaps try the door next time and, shockingly, maybe arrange an appointment?"

Herlock arched an eyebrow, "That's far too boring, my good fellow!"

"Ah yes..." having finished his letter, Barok set the quill down and powdered the paper so the ink would take hold, "Silly me," he folded it in half, slipped it into an envelope and proceeded to seal it with wax, "... Fine. Why are you here?"

"I'm SO glad you asked! There has been a murder most foul not far from here, I wondered if you might wish to accompany me to the scene!"

Barok arched an eyebrow, wondering why the detective had come here to inform him rather than a policeman. Still, it would be remiss of him to ignore the problem, "Why didn't you say that sooner?"

"I've said it at the appropriate time, now let us be off ── posthaste!"

──────≪⊰✥⊱≫───────

They arrived at Madam Tusspells in record time and went into the 'Law and Order' exhibition, where a number of prominent figures from the world of law were preserved in wax forever more - including Lord van Zieks himself.

He paid his own waxwork no heed, even though the corpse was collapsed before it.

"Now, dear fellow, everything is ready and thus it is time!"

"Time for what?" Barok asked, peering at the detective.

"Why!" Sholmes held up a finger and smiled, "Time for the main attraction that is Herlock Sholmes's 'Logic and Reasoning Spectacular'!!"

"... huh?"

𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔊𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱 𝔇𝔢𝔡𝔲𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫

..... The game is afoot!

𝔗opic 1: the victim's identity

Sholmes (somehow) casts a spotlight upon the corpse, "Firstly, we must consider the man's attire. He does not appear to be wearing a uniform that would identify him as a member of staff. The fact he is wearing a suit might point toward him being a member of the nobility, but no! Look at how ill-fitting his suit is and how he clearly ignores all good and proper fashion trends. Clearly this man is an undercover police officer!"

"Let me stop you there," Barok interjected, already annoyed by the monologue, "This man clearly is not a police officer."

"Oh ho! So the reaper waits for no one! You wish to correct my deductions ad lib? Well... it's unconventional, but very well Mr. Reaper! What's wrong with my deduction?"

"This," Barok held up a business card, "The man is a fine arts dealer by the name of Maurice De Lioncourt. It would appear he is here on a visit from France, given that he also has his passport on his person with corresponding details."

"Oh ho! Well, yes, that wraps this topic up rather nicely!" Sholmes exclaimed.

ℭonclusion: the man is an undercover policeman a fine arts dealer by the name 'Maurice de Lioncourt'!

"Onward, then! To the second deduction!"

"Do we have to?" Barok muttered.

Apparently the answer to that was a resounding yes--

𝔗opic 2: the cause of the victim's demise

"So that leaves but one mystery for us to unravel, my dour friend! How did this poor visitor to our shores meet his untimely end?! I believe the truth of the matter is plain as day and incredibly shocking!"

Barok sighed, knowing full well the answer was about to be mangled into some nonsensical drivel by the 'Great Detective', "... Do tell."

"It is obvious that this man is a thrill seeker! Those who deal in fine arts clearly enjoy the heart pounding terror that comes with purchasing works and not knowing whether they've secured a genuine article or a terrible fake! With that devil may care attitude, our poor victim came to the Madame Tusspells Museum of Waxworks with the intention of being entertained -- but clearly he got more than he bargained for when he came face to face with the terrifying visage of a real life vampire! The horrifyingly pallid and dour face no doubt sent him into the throes of a most awful shock, causing him to suffer a most sharp and unmistakably fatal heart attack!"

"OBJECTION!" Barok snarled, "Are you truly going to suggest that the man, upon seeing a wax work of me, went on to suffer a heart attack?!"

"Indubitably my good fellow! Yours is a face that strikes fear into the hearts of hardened criminals! Think what it would do to an innocent museum goer!"

"This ... is ridiculous!" Barok hissed as he glowered at the detective, "Your narrative is full of holes!"

"Oh ho is that so? Then do feel free to point out where I've gone wrong, good fellow!"

"First of all, you claim the man is a thrill seeker who enjoys being terrified but this is NOT the 'House of Horrors' where one would go to be thusly terrified! This is the Law and Order exhibit!"

"Well perhaps this terrifying waxwork of a vampire has been mistakenly placed in the Law and Order exhibition?" Holmes opined.

"It's a waxwork of ME, man! And I am not a vampire!" Barok shot back indignantly.

"I fear the jury is out on that one, Mr. Reaper, but I suppose it's true enough that you are a Prosecutor so your waxwork might well be placed in the Law and Order exhibit. Pray tell, then, if you claim this man did not suffer a fatal heart attack upon laying his eyes on your most formidable and imposing visage, what did kill him?"

"Oh I wonder... Perhaps the knife in his back?!"

ℭonclusion: the man suffered a heart attack upon seeing Prosecutor van Zieks' face was stabbed in the back with a knife!

𝔇𝔢𝔡𝔲𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔢!

....... Elementary!

"And thus concludes Herlock Sholmes's 'Logic and Reasoning Spectacular'!" Herlock announced proudly, before sighing and looking dismayed, "I have to say, Mr. Reaper, you make for a rather woeful dance partner... your sense of decorum is quite shot! I shan't be in a hurry to invite you to take part in one of my Deduction Dances."

"Good, never darken my door again and call the police for God's sake man!" Barok snarled, before stalking out of the museum and directly into a Hansom, "To the Prosecutor's Office, good man, and send the bill to 221B Baker Street."

Sholmes sighed as he watched other man leave, "... Truly I do miss that brilliant young man... come back to London soon, Mr. Naruhodo!"