#ship: jjxsummer

[obxocmuses]

"Oh no, no. I understand that," Summer offered with a half smile. With a nod. "I get that, and I am...being honest. It doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you're here, and alive," she confessed quietly. Despite only knowing him for a few months, as a potential friend at best, then realizing he's her flesh and blood. Honestly, she's just so thankful he survived. "I think Kie has more to say about you behaving like that," she teased. As his question floated in her ears, she breathed deeply. Inhale...exhale. "Well, to be honest..I was a little shit," she stated as a matter of fact, with a low giggle escaping. Shaking her head at the memory. "It definitely wasn't my finest moment. I had so much anger, mainly with my parents. Well, adoptive for keeping this a secret for so long. Believing that I was a lonely child. I went of the rails. I trashed our house completely. Shattering some extremely valuable possessions, and then I went on a drinking binge and got wasted. For at least a few days, it could've been more," she answered with a shrug.  The blonde hummed softly, "yeah I would be too. Hospitals give me the heebie-jeebies," she muttered with a shudder. "Any time," she reassured. "I know it feels like that now. Shit, it has been that long since...I think you're making good progress. But that's just my humble opinion. I-I think I should leave and let you get some much-needed rest, hmm. Helps the body heal and all that," she added with another soft smile. Her hands grasped his tightly. "I promise to visit, if you want me around, that is."

“i’m not tryin to make you feel bad,” jj said, watching summer react to his half hearted attempt at humor. “i’m just sayin’ would rather you be honest with me about it, i know i’m…too much sometimes.” an understatement — half the time, jj was overwhelming for himself, and he couldn’t ever walk away from that annoyance. — “how’d you react?” he asked, curious what level of upset the other blonde got. because now that he’s thinking back, destruction of public property at the level he did seemed like an over reaction. “oh thanks,” jj murmured. “i appreciate it, but honestly i just want to get out of here…” there was no way out of here early though, and he was just going to have to suck it up. nothing’s going to stop jj maybank. “the faith in me is appreciated,” he said quietly. “but i don’t really feel…like i’m capable of any of that right now.”

[obxocmuses]

@jayb4nks ~ ❛ calm down. you're okay, you're safe. it was just a dream. ❜ to summer

Summer found herself spending more time with JJ, so it wasn't any surprise that she had crashed at his place, instead of her own. Lately, the divide between her parents had gotten worse, and she found an escape when she hung around the other blonde. In the months she'd gotten to know him, she felt this weird pull. She could sense the same outrageous energy she had. He did. It made for great fun whenever they were together. She awoke to the sound of his voice, and a hand lightly touched her shoulder. "Jesus JJ" she breathed heavily. "Sorry...I didn't mean to disturb you. It's just been a long day...week," she admitted. "At least I wasn't drooling," she added as an afterthought, though her fingers lightly traced her lips just to be certain.

[obxocmuses]

This is what Summer lived for. JJ and his wreckless plans. Whilst more often than not it wasn't the wisest and most rational decision-making she'd ever come across, it was better than staying at home. It was the thrill and excitement of the chase she craved. The blonde stepped closer and braced her hands on his shoulders comfortingly. "Hey…JJ. Captain Obvious," she stated with a soft chuckle. "I-It's okay. We're going to be okay. You have another plan, right?" she queried whilst knowing the answer to be 'no'

a quiet sigh escapes his lips , the sound soft yet weighted with a quiet frustration . his hand lifts slowly , as if reaching for the thought of running it through his hair , but it falters , meeting the familiar brim of his cap instead . “ okay ... ” he mutters , his voice low , heavy with a hint of regret . “ guess that wasn’t my best idea . ”

[obxocmuses]

Summer winced at her poor attempt of humor, shaking her head at his question. The blonde could hear and see the tiredness within him. "No...no. It's okay. I'm kidding. I suck at this, but seriously, it's forgotten. Like I said, I would've reacted the same if someone had told me my parents weren't my real parents. Hell, I did do exactly that," she admitted with a soft chuckle falling from her lips. It may not have been one of her finer moments. She behaved badly for days...weeks even. As she stood with her arms around her for comfort, listening to the machines beep. Her eyebrows raised at his honesty. She was surprised herself, but it made sense, everyone being on edge and the pity he must've received from everyone, considering he had almost fricking died. "Huh. I can imagine, but at least it's better than hospital food. Listen, if you need me to come with anything, you just let me know. However, I'm sure it's already been covered," she stated, with a shy smile gracing her features. "Aww bless. Yeah I bet she's not left your bedside once. I've no doubt they'll give you one too." Her eyes darted around the room a final time. As his words resonated in her ears, she turned to study him again. It broke her heart the state of him, nodding, "That makes sense. It's got to be tough, even for the strong-willed. But if anyone can do it. It's you, JJ," she assured him with the warmest smile, even going as far as to finally grasping his hand as he lay in the hospital bed, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Nothing's going to stop JJ Maybank doing anything. Am I right?" she answered playfully.

a blonde eyebrow arched upward. “maybe somethin’ else, huh?” he asked. “go ahead, summer. let it all out.” he was grinning tiredly, knowing that it was better to just get it out there instead of letting it fester just because he technically died a few times. the food — except for the jello, because how do you fuck up jello? — wasn’t all that great, but the thought of it just made jj shrug. “honestly,” he said, “i’ve had shoupe sneakin’ shit in for me…it’s been weird.” the chief of police has been hovering more than normal, and it made something in jj antsy. as did the idea of a surprise party, but in a different way. “eh, i dunno about that,” he admitted. “i’ve practically had to bully kie into going home for a few minutes at a time. but honestly, a party sounds great.” the timeline of his release has been something on his own mind a lot too, and it made jj falter just a little bit. “uh, i mean it’s up in the air,” he explained. “but they’re not letting me leave until i can walk at least a little bit on my own.”

[obxocmuses]

Summer was as nervous as hell to see him again, but the blonde was oh so ecstatic for him to be alive right now, as the other alternative was just too damn heartbreaking. She was a little on edge and hyper-aware of her surroundings. Standing in his doorway, her body hummed with uncertainty and how to act. To be honest, all she really wanted to do was to walk up to him, hold his hand, embrace him. Do something. Hospitals put her on the edge as well. Surrounded by illness and people being on their last hope of survival. As his words floated in her ears, she cracked an all-knowing smile. True to JJ fashion, or what she at least assumed to be. Nodding her head, she was far too quick to agree. "Alright. Yes, yes you were a dick...maybe something else," she added softly with a slight chuckle escaping. "But it's okay. Honestly, I probably would've acted the same," she offered with a shoulder shrug. She felt sorry about his whole ordeal, finding out the truth and then this shit happens. Not wishing that on her worst enemy.

Her arms tightened around herself as she listened. "That's good. I'm glad they're doing their job properly and looking after you. "Aww no, poor thing," she stated lightly. She hummed at his question. "I meant the food, but I hope whatever drugs they're giving you are working?" she hated to see him like him, in pain. Hearing his wince, she rushed to his side. "Hey...hey. Be careful. You okay?" she queried hurriedly, her hands reached for him, but then quickly placed them by her side. "Me? Oh uh-yeah. I'm good. All school and work make for a dull life. Keeping free from trouble. Totally less eventful than yours," she muttered. The noises the machines made echoed through the room. "So...do you know how much longer you have to stay here  for? I bet the others are just itching and planning your surprise welcome home party as we speak," another round of laughter fell from her lips.

jj didn’t like hospitals — that much was always obvious to anyone around him for longer than a week, since that’s how long it usually takes for him to get injured again — and he spent a good amount of time recently in two separate ones. so safe to say he wasn’t doing great, but in the grand scheme of things, it could be worse. he could be dead in a desert far away from everything he knew. deep down, he knew that this was the best outcome, but god he wanted to be as far away from these overly sanitized walls as he could get. he just had to relearn how to walk. the blonde in his doorway was way too forgiving of him, but he’d been getting a lot of that lately. a visit from shoupe, where he said that his debt to the town had been taken care of, floated past his brain. he had been high on painkillers and in and out of sleep so he didn’t really remember the reason, but jj assumed it was because of his pitiful state. “you can say i was a dick, it won’t like — restab me in my vital organs,” 

a weak attempt at humor that jackson knew wouldn’t land, but he had to at least try. “they’re pretty good here, yeah,” jj hummed. “my night nurse keeps bullying me into going to sleep when i don’t want to,” which is never, but he’s not really interested in another lecture. “the good stuff? do you mean food or drugs because either way — not really.” he didn’t say the painkillers were also his doing. he had seen what some of the drugs could do to a person and even though luke wasn’t his biological father, he didn’t want to go down that path. trying to sit up and wincing a little bit, jj raised an eyebrow at summer. “how have you been? life less eventful than mine, i hope.”

[obxocmuses]

Since that fateful afternoon when the truth had finally been set free. Summer knew that as soon as she had left the store, the blonde wouldn't hear from him anytime soon. She had assumed right. The days turned into nights; weeks turned into months. She had tried to find some normalcy in her life, by accepting her fate. She spent her time keeping out of trouble for once in her life. Becoming sort of a recluse, a fracture of what she once was. Learning that she had a new family had been hard. Realizing that they had wanted to have nothing more to do with her, stung. In knowing that JJ didn't believe it, and why would he? He didn't know her from Adam. He didn't need or want a sister. She couldn’t blame him.

As the news started to hit the town about JJ and the gang in Morocco. His father...her father...stabbed him for the priceless artefact they were trying to find. It made her sick to her stomach. What the hell? Trying to kill your own flesh and blood. You'd have to truly be a sick and twisted monster. But then again the 'accident' with her mother. Yeah, right! It was him all along having fooled everyone. After hearing the news, she desperately wanted to see him. To let him know that she's still there. Will be there for him, but that's not what he needs right now. No, he needed his loved ones, his nearest and dearest-the friends that were a family for him. She would have to be patient. He had to recover after all. He nearly died. Tears started to fall down her face freely. She had nearly lost him. Life is forever precious. She knows this.

After weeks had passed, she decided that now might be okay to pay him a visit. Getting a visitor's pass at the nurse’s station, and finding out his room number, she tentatively made her way down the corridors. Quietly opening the door in case, he was resting and asleep. Lord knows he needed it. With a nervous, crooked smile etched upon her features, her orbs locked with his piercing blue hues. "Hey, back" she greeted him equally lame with a soft chuckle escaping. A low tut fell from her lips as she waved her arms around, "Please, it's nothing. It's water over the bridge...or under. Totally forgotten," she assured him. "I hope they're treating you right here? Looking after you, and hopefully feeding you some of the good stuff?" she queried.

four months later

the quiet sound of a heart monitor had become an unwelcome white noise in jackson maybank’s life. after everything that happened in morocco, after the stress of getting there, they had lost the crown. and worse, jj almost lost his life — according to the surgeon in morocco who took his insides out and put them back together and saved his life — he had died a few times during the surgery. but he’s been stable for awhile now, and was safely airlifted back to the outerbanks, holding kiara’s hand the entire time as shockingly, her parents took over all the hard questions. mike and anna had been a lifeline jj wasn’t expecting through all this, but it just reminded jj that this is what parents did. parents, no matter how many disagreements you had, showed up during the hard stuff. parents didn’t beat you into oblivion. parents didn’t sell your home out from under you. parents didn’t try to kill you.

because as impossible as it sounded, summer had been right. the conversation they had months ago had been regularly echoing between his ears as time went on. between luke confirming the story the way summer had said he would, and then chandler groff himself confirming that yes, jackson was his son. and then immediately trying to get rid of him. his recovery time in both hospitals gave him far too much time to think about his lack of parents and it hit him. he might not have parents, but he apparently, has a sister. a sister that he wasn’t the least bit nice to the last time they spoke. but jj had some sort of hope that maybe there was a chance for him to apologize.

that chance came after another round at his physical therapy. he wasn’t walking the way he used to. relearning how had been stressful, and he felt like an old man as he struggled with a walker, shuffling the hundred or so steps to the nurses station and back. it winded him, but he wasn’t going to let chandler groff and his stupid sweater across the shoulders win. he had eased himself back into his bed when the door opened. blue eyes glanced up as another blonde walked through the door. “hey, summer,” jj greeted lamely. how do you apologize for not believing that you’re related? “i was kind of a dick the last time we spoke, huh?” lame, but it got the job done. 

[obxocmuses]

The palpitations in her chest grew stronger with each passing moment. Her breathing was erratic as she found herself pacing the floor as well. Was she having a goddamn heart attack now? Summer certainly hoped not. As soon as the words left her mouth, while free from the burden she carried, by no means least was it a good thing. Her orbs studied JJ, watching him freeze in place, drifting down to his knuckles that were white. This was the wrong time, wrong place. In her heart of hearts, she knew he wasn’t ready to hear this. Why did she listen to him and decide to be honest? “JJ…” she started to speak, her hands started to reach out for him, for some sort of comfort, but she thought wisely and let them fall to her sides. Shaking her head adamantly. “I-I’m not joking. I’m not laughing JJ. I-I-I’m sorry,” she started to stutter. His hardened, steely gaze upon her, and she felt unnerved. Her body shuddered in response. The blonde swallowed harshly, she could feel tears that threatened to fall, but quickly wiped them away with her hands before he saw. She was a little uncertain how to proceed. The best way, the right way, had been thrown out the window. “I-It’s the truth JJ. What do I have to gain by lying? Nothing. I-it looks like I’m going to lose you either way. As a friend…and a brother…” she mumbled in defeat. It wasn’t the time or place. He wasn’t ready. “Look, I’m truly sorry you had to find out this way. I do think it’s best you know though,” she answered, sadness etched in her voice. “You should ask Luke. H-have you heard of the Genrette's? They're your real family…j-just like they're mine," she offered as she stood twiddling her thumbs, looking at the floor, wanting it to swallow her up whole.

jj’s head was in the fridge when summer started speaking. leaning back, two bottles in one hand, he raised an eyebrow. you’re not going to like. there hasn’t been a lot coming out that jj liked as of late, so this was just one to add to the list. popping the tops off of the drinks, the constant motion of jackson james maybank froze as summer continued. we’re related…sister…luke isn’t your real dad. suddenly, the beer bottles were on the counter in front of him, knuckles white as he clung to the edge. he counted backward from ten at least twice before he finally looked at summer, really looked at her. a kook on their side of the island — nothing new, considering sarah and kiara — who jj had considered at least friendly. and she was doing what? playing a prank? he didn’t realize his hand was shaking until he reached up to rub at his chest. “that shit’s not funny,” jj said, blue eyes turning hard and cold as he started pacing. “like seriously — that’s kind of fucked.” he was talking too fast, his chest aching under his ringed fingers. “like luke’s a shit dad, but that’s not something for you to joke about.”

[obxocmuses]

With knowing what she knew, Summer could tell just how much they're related. They're kinda similar...she could sense these things. In her quest to getting to know him, she was becoming more and more blatantly obvious. In her desperation to be close. Wanting to show him how much she cares despite barely knowing him at all, she let the cracks show. Her vagueness in not wanting to express the details was her shortfall. The blonde could read between the lines, things were about to become extremely blurry indeed. While she did want him to know, he wasn't in the right frame of mind right now, but then again. She wasn't the oracle. Perhaps he was and could handle the truth. She just didn't want him to hate her, or cut her off completely once he found out. Inhale. Exhale. Summer nodded, his tone and demeanor said it all. He was pretty much done and she couldn't blame him. "Okay," she answered softly. A rue smile etched upon her features, a low hum of acknowledgment permitted left her lips. With a slight eye roll, and a puff of air escaping. "Alright...you got me. There is something...you're not going to like. Think I'm insane...but we're related...you and I. I'm your sister. Luke isn't your real dad," she blurted out finally. Internally she winced. Her orbs studied him, waiting for him to explode because of the news as she braced herself for whatever was about to happen. She had only just found him, she didn't want to lose him. Or for him to hate her. She cared about him deeply.

the thing about growing up in the pressure cooker that jj maybank was raised in, you learn how to read people. and the thing about jj maybank being a good liar, hes good at catching them in others. summer was lying about something — or was leaving something out of the conversation. the blonde woman was the newest addition to the group of people that cycled in and out of the chateau, and recently she’s started showing up more and more. it wasn’t like jj was complaining, he was never going to say no to hanging out with more people, but he was protective of the pogues. between kie getting kidnapped twice, cleo held hostage,  john b and sarah almost dying and pope almost being sent to the marines, they had a pretty hefty losing streak with strangers. so if summer was keeping something from him, there was a chance that that something would put his family in danger. again. that wasn’t going to happen. “well i’m alright,” jj said, the exhaustion that he was working so hard to fight against showing up in his accented words. “‘preciate you checkin’...but yeah we can get a beer or somethin. maybe then you can tell me what’s really goin on.” blue eyes lifted to look at summer, one eyebrow raised, waiting for her reaction. 

[obxocmuses]

One of Summer’s faults was that sometimes her emotions overwhelm and overpower her to such an extent that she’s unable to express herself without coming across as too much or ‘in your face’. When the blonde had found out she had a brother, she was angry. With her parents…with the world and she took that frustration and packed it in. How could they have kept this from her? She had a biological brother. While it took her a few weeks to come to terms with the news, she was excited. She had already started to become with friends or well acquaintances with JJ and his friends over the passed months, and now knowing they’re related had a much more vested interest in him and getting to know him on a more personal level, if he’d let her in of course. She wasn’t going to push through his boundaries, but it appears as if that’s exactly what she was doing. She’s sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. Summer could tell he was becoming agitated by her actions, her pressing the matter when it had nothing to do with her. She winced as he slammed the freezer shut, her teeth chewed on her lower lip as she wrapped her arms around herself. She breathed deeply as she listened intently. A frown marred her features, etched in sadness as she shook her head. “No…I get that. I appreciate your honesty. Look I-I’m sorry, JJ. I know this isn’t what you need right now. I shouldn’t have come here,” she answered softly. Her heart told her to, as cheesy as that sounded. She couldn’t…she couldn’t possibly tell him what she knew. Not yet. At his question her mouth opened and closed. “Oh, I was just worried about you after everything. I-I wanted to check in on you,” shrugging her shoulders, and taking in his appearance. “See if you wanted to do anything later? Perhaps get some beers or something…i-if you want” she suggested with a soft smile.

he really couldn’t win, could he? no matter what he said, no matter how much he tried explaining himself he still seemed to piss someone off. tugging on his hair, starting to pace in the small space behind the broken freezer, he listened to summer — and tried really hard not to throw something at the wall. “it’s not — i — look,” slamming the freezer door shut and sitting on it, jj shoved his glasses back on his nose. “i appreciate you saying that. and i know people care about me. but i have to be so honest with you, after spending most of my childhood being told im a worthless piece of shit by the man who was technically supposed to love me the most, it’s just not that easy to agree with you that my life means anything. its nothing against you.” Tugging on his blonde hair, rough enough that some strands stay between his fingers even after he lowers his hand, he glanced at the woman in front of him. “what’s going on anyways?” he only knew summer for a few months at this point, he was a little confused why she was coming at this so passionately.

[obxocmuses]

The frustration that Summer felt was overwhelming and becoming unbearable. The blonde may be relatively new to the outer banks after being there less than six months, but already with a deep and strong attachment she felt after knowing her family's secret for over two months now. It was one of her main motivations and focus to be able to find JJ at all, and he did welcome her into his group apprehensively at first, but she thought little by little she was wearing him down. Why did he have to be reckless and do stupid things? Getting in trouble with the cops. Her worried orbs studied him as he took off his glasses. Was that new? Her eyes widened as he put up his hand. A deep sigh fell from her throat as she prepared herself for his witty retort. His words broke her heart as they floated to her ears. To hear him speak of himself in such a way tugged on her heart strings. If only he knew. “JJ…” she muttered with a frown etched upon her features, her fingers rolling up the hem of her shirt. “Please…I know you don’t know me well, but trust me when I say your life is worth something,” she answered softly, her tone full of certainty. She shook her head, “Okay…okay. I understand…I’m sorry for coming in here and yelling at you.It's just... I know…I know your heart is in the right place. You live and love fiercely unlike anyone I’ve ever met. But you need to let people help you. Let them in, you don’t have to do it alone. They care about you. I care about you,” she spoke softly, her emotions getting the best of her. She desperately wanted to give him a hug to console him like a family member would, but decided against it. He's not ready to hear that piece of information yet...or possibly ever.

see, that's what everyone didn’t realize. jj maybank didn’t think he was invincible. growing up, the antics were a cry for attention — an attempt to get a mostly uninterested father interested in his son by any means possible, no matter how dangerous or stupid. stupid things have good outcomes all the time after all. but he knew that there could be some drastic consequences that followed the decisions he made, and he just didn’t care. you really think you’re invincible, that’s hard to do when you’re barely thinking about your own life. but he knew that saying that to summer right now, would be disastrous, so he just opted not to answer that question. instead he took his glasses off, set them to the side and rubbed his face. the glasses were fogging up, making everything just that much more annoying, and he suddenly wished he took pope up on the offer to teach him how to deal with contacts. “no no,” jj said, holding a hand up to the other blonde. i do listen, summer. you want me to start thinking about myself first? i am. my life isn't something worth protecting at this point. i barely know who the fuck i am anymore. look i’m sorry it got the way it did, but i’m not going to apologize for protecting my family and saving our home. if something happens to me but the people i love can stay off the streets then i did what i set out to do.”

[obxocmuses]

Summer had managed to find him at the bait shop, the blonde was extremely worried about him. More than usual, and she had a secret that he certainly wasn’t ready to hear. Not in his frame of mind. Though in the time she’d known him she didn't know if he ever was. The bruises that appeared on his neck, whilst faded were still a harsh reminder of what he went through. She’ll never forget the shock and fear that etched upon her features as she stood motionless as the scene unfolded before her very eyes. The chaos, the cops, the glass breaking along with her heart. He seriously didn’t care about what would happen to him. Her eyes rolled at his question, along with a deep sigh that expelled from her throat. With her arms folded across her chest as she leaned against the doorframe. “Do you really think you’re invincible, huh? Because you’re not. It wasn’t just me telling you either. It was Kie..Pope, everyone. You just didn’t listen. To anyone,” she answered as the worriedness seeped through. The sadness that overwhelmed her was unbearable. She breathed deeply as she studied him fixing the freezer, trying to keep himself occupied as usual. “You only have one life JJ, you need to start thinking about yourself first,” she pleaded desperately.

— making demands starters // accepting! — @obxocmuses said: “  this is what happens when you don't listen to me.  ”  “and what exactly is this?” jj asked, blue eyes lifting over a pair of glasses he still wasn’t used to as he grabbed some wires to continue his fix of the freezer in the store. the bruises on his neck weren’t as dark as they were the day before, but he could still feel them, and he could feel everyone’s eyes on them as they remember the way the cop had slammed him into the ground. the elbow into his neck had been the worst of it, but the way the chaos around them blazed for a short moment and then immediately fizzled out once people heard glass breaking, gave jj enough time to shove the cop off him and start gasping for breath again. his head ached where it hit the ground, but he refused to acknowledge that. he wasn’t going to make everyone think he was concussed — even though he probably was. for now, he would do what he could. fix the freezer, try and make enough money to save the business, ignore the empty feeling that’s been haunting him for weeks. “because all i’ve been doin is mindin my own business.” he said with a smirk and a laugh. trying to lighten the mood. just like usual.

[obxocmuses]

Summer was stupid to assume things would turn out differently. What had ever possessed the blonde to think that he would easily accept the truth? In fact, at first the news was met with great resistance by herself. She was a huge hypocrite in that respect. Breathing and sighing deeply as she let her words sink in. Nervousness hummed throughout her being as her orbs took the chance to truly study him. She could tell it was hard to believe, the struggle within. To have some possible hope that maybe...just maybe he could have a better life. A new start ahead. Becoming blatantly obvious as the moments progressed. She didn't want to tell him this way anyway, but he insisted. No, she wasn't going to blame him for how this is turning out. It was her own damn fault for suddenly appearing in his life, and making herself known. Wanting to know more about her brother. To find out what he was like. Simply be around him more. He was just as upset and rightly so. "I'm truly JJ," she whispered. His question resonated in her ears. "I- I just thought that once you knew, everything might change. It doesn't have to be shit. Y-you can leave Luke...if you want to. You might even want to get to know me more?" she questioned softly, albeit, hopefully. Though she wouldn't want to hold her breath for the outcome of his answer. It's pretty much obvious by the mess she's caused. He'd rather her disappear, probably. Which is what her heart and mind are telling her to do now. "Look, I know this is hard to hear. You should take some time, and yeah, who knows, maybe Luke will tell the truth for a change if you decide to ask. I'll get out of your hair. I don't want to cause any more waves. But y-you have my number should you decide you ever want to see me again," she offered a soft smile, with a shrug of her shoulders. Wanting to give him a hug goodbye, she gingerly walked backwards out the door, giving a little wave of her hand instead.

jackson was so tired. of having to fight to feel worthy of living, of living in general, of being the butt of a joke that he wasn’t in on. because there was no way this was anything besides a prank that everyone else was involved with. tell jj he had a chance to get out of his shitty life and no one offered it to him. it’ll be hilarious. give him the hope that he wasn’t doomed to a life of anger and scattered prison time and then take it away. he was tired of being tired, and of feeling bad when he felt this way. he could tell summer was upset, but so was jj. and once jj was this far gone there was no going in reverse. in his heart he knew he should apologize, but the words never came out. “i dunno,” he said finally. because really what did she have to win by lying about this? “but what do you get telling the truth? because what does it change? my home life? that was shit before it’ll be shit after…” rubbing his face, the palm of his hand muffled a bitter laugh. “luke? you want me to ask luke maybank? the worst liar out of all of us?”