#shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

[blackjackkent]

Hm - ok, out of curiosity, I triggered a second long rest to see if something about the shapeshifters would proc once Wyll's business with Mizora was out of the way, and... well...

"Kainyank! Your deception ends now! I shall cleave the truth from you like flesh from a dhour!"

Oh boy.

"Help me!" the girl squeals in terror, looking up at Hector as he approaches. "She's gone mad!"

OK so. A couple things.

First of all - I speculated in my last post, off the cuff, that Yenna and/or her cat was in fact the shapeshifter interloper. It's entirely possible (even likely, I dare say) that Lae'zel is being rash here, but if she is not, I reserve the right to call myself a freaking genius at the end of this scene.

Second, it's tragically out of character for Hector to say, but this fourth dialogue option is absolutely what's going on in his head:

However - this is Hector, so his primary priority is immediately trying to defuse the situation, ideally before Lae'zel puts a blade in a potentially innocent child's neck.

"What in the hells is going on here?"

"This is not the whelp who's been following us," Lae'zel snaps. "I saw her. She slipped into camp in the form of a woman and shifted into this... abomination. She tried to silence me and hide her deception!"

"I didn't do anything!" the girl cries out with very credible terror, struggling to release herself from Lae'zel's iron grip.

Fairly interesting, this - I literally just, this afternoon, finished writing a fic (coming soon!) about how Hector and Lae'zel have bonded a lot more recently (mostly about their similarly unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with all the Strong Emotions in their lives right now, but still). So Hector's instinct is very much to believe Lae'zel.

Certainly, if this is Lae'zel, he doesn't believe she would be lying to him about this. She's made no secret of finding Yenna annoying, but she would not lie about it like this. Not to him.

It might not be Yenna. But it might just as easily not be Lae'zel.

Gods, he hates this. He hates that after he has grown so much in learning to trust those he travels with, that trust is being torn from under him by something outside their control. He hates that Orin's very existence is enough to upset the order of things, that she need not even act in order to cause them to start to tear themselves apart from within.

Moonmaiden, grant me wisdom... please...

"Do you have any proof?" he asks carefully.

"Is my word not enough?" Lae'zel snarls.

With a quick, sharp motion, she pulls a dagger from her belt, lifts it to Yenna's neck.

"Say your farewells, ne'voocrim!"

Hector puts out a hand sharply before she can strike, his eyes fixed on hers. [PERSUASION] "There's something we're not seeing here!" he snaps out.

Look at me, Lae'zel - if you truly are the woman I have come to know, who has come to trust me... you will stay your blade until I can speak.

(A/N: 25 DC, almost impossible even with Voice of the Circle AND Favorable Beginnings, but crit success on an inspiration re-roll, holy shiiiiit.)

Lae'zel's face twists at the interruption; abruptly she shoves the girl aside and takes a step towards Hector. Her eyes narrow and her lips curl in a sudden mad smirk - and Hector feels a chill roll through his whole body.

"Perhaps if I remove your eyes," she sneers, "you'll see things as they are."

Hector takes a rapid step back, his hands lifting, ready to strike. This is not Lae'zel - that much is suddenly obvious, and his neck prickles with fear. How long? How long has she been here lurking among them? Where has Lae'zel been taken? What has Orin done to her?

As if in answer, the false githyanki's head twists in a spasmodic jerking movement that is, by now, all too familiar.

The sense of utter violation is surprising. He feels his whole body go tense, a muscle working in his jaw. To be surprised by Orin in the city is one thing, but to have her here in their camp, their place of safety and respite and refuge - to have her take the form of one of his closest allies, and threaten to murder an innocent child in front of him...

His expression remains utterly still, showing no sign of the turmoil in his mind, but his fists clench at his sides.

There's soft footsteps behind him. The others have started to wake at the commotion, to realize what is happening. He can hear the slide of metal on metal as blades are drawn, the sound of hoarse, nervous breath. But no one strikes; perhaps all of them are as overwhelmed as he feels at this invasion of their home.

That unsettling smile has not moved from Orin's lips throughout her transformation. "Look at it," she murmurs, her eyes tracing over Hector from head to foot with disdainful amusement. "Crawling and sniffing and rooting around in the filth. Is it my Netherstone you seek, little piggy?"

She reaches out a hand, draws her fingertips tauntingly along his jaw. Her skin is ice-cold, like the touch of a corpse. He doesn't move, resists the urge to flinch. "Hush... hush..." she croons, her eyes alight with madness. "Orin will take care of you. And your little pet."

At Hector's side he sees the flash of a blade. Karlach has moved next to him, and her sword is up, the point aimed directly at Orin's throat.*

Hector's voice is tight and hoarse, trying not to show the depth of his fear in this moment. "What have you done with Lae'zel?"

Orin draws back with a soft, maniacal giggle. "Nothing!" she says brightly. "No, not a thing! Still gasping and gagging on the foul airs of Bhaal's temple." She smiles slowly, full of gleeful malice. "I will not slice. Her kind die too easily."

She begins to stroll casually between their bedrolls, seemingly unconcerned by the weapons drawn in her direction, or the anger in her audience's eyes. "The Murder Lord demands a better offering. Something new... sticky sweet and delicious." She pauses, turns to meet Hector's gaze again, pokes a finger towards his chest.

"He wants *you.*"

"Fuck that," Karlach mutters at his side.

Hector shakes his head slightly. His skin is crawling at the nearness of the shapeshifter, at what she is describing, and his adrenaline is starting to pump with urgency - the need to find Lae'zel, to get away from this creature, to escape whatever the God of Murder has in mind for them all. But they need information before they can hope to retaliate...

"The Murder Lord wants me?" He is surprised to hear how steady his voice sounds all of a sudden. "Why?"

"Ketheric's killer..." she murmurs. There's a strange sort of eager hunger in her tone now at the mention of the violence Hector has wrought in the past. "Turned the corpse-lover to carrion when you took his stone. But he was a dull kill. No blood to spill, no guts to rip - a desiccated husk, all dust and hollow." Her breath catches with an eager whine, those pale blank eyes widening. "You must be sharpened before you set your edge against my skin."

Hector shudders. "Enough of these riddles," he snaps. "Speak plainly."

Orin tilts her head. "You'd prefer my whispers in the tyrant's tongue?" she says.

Another sudden twist, a flash of red - and Gortash stands before him instead.

"You've heard Gortash's whispers. I see how your skull swarms with his promises..." The words are Orin's, but now uttered in Gortash's low, sardonic growl. "He whinges and wails over the Crown of Karsus, wanting to command it without me... Oh, how I long to slit his poxy smile from ear to ear. But I can't touch him. He bound my blade when we first conspired."

"Gortash didn't want me at first. Didn't trust me. Got me to wag my tongue, swear an oath never to hang him from the hooks, drip-drain him into Father's open jaws... You must kill the tyrant, take the Netherstone from his corpse, and bring it to my temple. There we slice and shred each other. The survivor claims the stones. What's left of the other is Bhaal's."

It is incredibly unsettling to hear Orin's insane ramblings coming from Gortash's throat. Hector listens in silence, watches as the creature shifts again, back to Orin's pale skin and eyes.

"Agree, and I will bring my assassins to heel. They watch you always, longing to spray the crimson from your veins. Refuse me, and you'll learn what happens to those who defy Bhaal's doctrine. So will your friend."

Narrator: Orin demands a fight to the death. The prize for the victor - the Netherstones, and the chance to control the crown alone. Accept, and you must kill Gortash. Refuse, and your companion's life may be forfeit. As might your own - Orin's assassins will hunt you like prey for slaughter.

Hector's mind whirls, wheels turning rapidly as he tries to parse the situation and the best way out of it.

The worst thing about this situation is that agreeing to Orin's demands feels like the right answer.

He was already going to kill Gortash; that has been a given for quite some time. Even were he not one of the Chosen, Hector would help Karlach destroy him regardless; as it is, he cannot be allowed to live. And Orin is, by far, the scarier of the two remaining leaders of the Dead Three's plot. Allying with her long enough to keep her shapeshifting assassins off of him and his friends is more than a little appealing.

Then, of course, there is Lae'zel. He intends to rescue her regardless of the agreement here; she cannot be allowed to languish in a Bhaalist prison. Not after how important she has become to him, to the whole group. She is one of their family now. But to agree to Orin's demands for now would perhaps help to ensure her safety long enough for him to find her.

Normally at this point in his thought process, he would consider that he abhors the thought of lying, of placing his word of bond on a deal that he means to betray. But the extraordinary thing about what Orin is offering is that her endgame is only the final showdown between them that was coming anyway; he does not want control of the Netherstones, but he was never going to let her live. She expects his betrayal, it is even written into the deal - what she offers is only a brief cessation of hostilities long enough for it to come to blows between them in another place.

She is, in short, offering him a deal for what he was going to do anyway - kill Gortash, and then kill her. The only variable is Lae'zel's safety, which is better ensured by playing the game Orin's way, at least for now.

"So be it," he says harshly. "I will kill Gortash. Lae'zel lives. Then we fight for the final Netherstone."

Her eyes widen with insane joy. "The promise of slaughter! Of pain and humiliation and the sound of blood drip-dropping into the gutter. Do not underestimate his Steel Watch. Seek their cradle in the Lower City and skewer their skull meat. Make them rust and blood. Then you can gore the lordling again and again and again--"

She squirms with excitement, her voice rising in pitch to an eager squeal, those pale eyes fixed on Hector's face. "But listen. Listen close, Bone-killer... Step in my domain while the tyrant still sucks air, and I will carve your failure into your pretty plaything's skull. Bring me his stone and I will set the bait free. Only then can you and I make exquisite butchery. The victor will set the world to slaughter."

She twists the ring on her finger, disappearing into a burst of red light with her last words hanging in the chill night air. "This is Bhaal's offer. He will not make another."

-----

"Holy shit. Fuck. Soldier, what the fuck was that?" Karlach's sword falls to her side and her other hand grabs Hector's arm urgently. "We're not seriously going along with this?"

"Why not?" Hector says bitterly. "All she has asked us to do is kill Gortash and then come to fight her. I don't believe we ever had another plan anyway."

"And Lae'zel? You believe she'll just let her go?" Shadowheart asks, her eyebrows knitted with concern. Even now, she bears no particular love for their githyanki comrade - but she has come far enough at Hector's side that she doesn't want Lae'zel lost either. "She's a trickster - a creature of shadow beyond any that ever served Shar. Who is to say she will keep her promise?"

"I believe she'll keep her safe until I come to face her," Hector says wearily. "Because she knows we would not leave Lae'zel behind. Alive, she's bait. Dead, she's useless."

Jaheira smiles, without humor. "I believe you are correct," she agrees quietly. "So it seems we have only one path forward."

Hector nods. "And the first step is killing Gortash - ideally with as little delay as possible."

Karlach's lips curl in a savage smile and her hand tightens on Hector's arm. "Well - you won't hear any argument from me."

-----

* Artistic license, obviously. I just liked the mental image. XD

[seinaet]

what's the point in putting like 10 displayports and one HDMI port in samsung odyssey G7 monitors if none of those displayports fucking work

[dazzzledrazzle]

EPISODE 105 JACKSONS DIARY

I knew from the warning it was gonna be bad and OH NO HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

[sonisis]

looking at my take home exam

n crying

fuck i dont wanna do this shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit but I HAVE TO

[praise-suns-and-chill]

Not because you die in the game, but the game you die in is shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Not a single monkey survived the Neuralink experiment. I’ll bet Elmo can’t wait to start torturing and murdering human beings with this.

[sincerelyyellingback]

THIS UPDATE LOOKS LIKE SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

[fkyumerica]

Jan 20, 2024, 6:01 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRzwab5b5lk oh what the fuck

‘Folded boy’ takes big step to standing up straight

dream street

then they whip them to stand up

the rock does

dont give them a tree

they live there

sand like area

and boats

their whore moms come bck

and mormons, amish, are it

amanda said jewish is who they marry next

or try and split up again

hey hey whats i nit let me go in that cinagog

this bitch was nice about marriages we talked to her

oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

i havent had eyebrows in 25 years

18

i can sing the song again

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qCjBfExJ17I its real

#respect

and a boat too with the racing motorcycle under it

the rock has wives he cant take from you

you cccant take from him

gooooooooooo

can you dig it guy had them after

break the chain its left there to not go on the other one

then they inbreed with an infant

again

running up and down was something young

any area

to hide where

and oh hide

gains weight

they wasted so much food but if it was whats outside

garbage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTCscdcoLuA this is one of the oldest ones that does it, if they went to school they wore a mask, mexicans

화문석 아주머니 시리즈📼 전편 46분 정주행 모아보기 #화문석아주머니┃Collection of Hwamunseok Lady Episodes #HwamunseokLady

constant plastic surgery

she is wearing a mask too

their facces are elongated and eyes out of their skulls

and tounge out

and hold the jaw up too

mouth completly open

jaw too

they burn her face to try and keep it together, and super glue her mask on, and denture glue

and shes mating with giant men again

never goes outside

woo'd at home

martha stewart crack head bitches

i get it all

age group

55

over the hill no

i work here

this woman might of been on the phone or not ear piece in the check out at meijers

louuud talking swaring

white, black family in masks, and mexican ones

faking a manger job at the store

before

fired came back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izcY3dQlB7Q this is how they get giant

Les pires métiers du monde | Documentaire complet

mate in the morning "farm" ape fuck standing up, fuck hunched over, then down on the ground like push ups fucking at night

morning noon afternoon night

they look like that too

need more super glue

and fake hands

legs

anything

paul mccartney laughs at the missing leg joke

Jan 20, 2024, 8:56 PM

puppies are coming

oh my god 10 litters

i just heard a bear

whats she gonna do scream

Sun 12:48 PM

eww gross a guy will put 4 in his ass to get a girl pregnant with a newborn, 'newborn baby is very hungry matsi status' video

memes from discord, a messed up black face guy who uses rubber tubes to smack himself back in the face for her to love him again she says she loves how he looks

huge dick and balls on infant video

the most dangerous prisons in the world investigations et enqudtes

retard women and men who look the same, same shirt

Sun 1:55 PM

put me in the show with twiggy

put another wedding in it

i dont even care

let me kidnap him

i put the whoa in shamoo

Sun 3:18 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfrMHLb2nX0 generations before adn after, they send them out in reverse order you will see this first

The Adventures Of Pinocchio: Donkey Transformation

they mated became a dad watched it come out with that face

and the one next to him is the generation before the generation before that

fake teeth donkey

and the thing on the left is still under the age of 1

stretch its bones out its your kids now-donkey

says it to the woman who mated with it

she has 94 in a cave

go run around i dont care

-the woman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w_8EEc0IXs if they dress them they stand up and sing and rape you

The scariest animated kids movie scene EVER

anyone

and pull infants in and out of his ass to rape them too

and dump them

in the donkeys ass

7inch dick shrunk on that infant

8 inch balls

or 12

breakfast

pancake platter pound it

stretch him

so she does it

then donkey stomps on him

i dont imagine my life without a donkey stomping on me

and listen to the rest of them

thats how he learned to talk

and group all the women teach em all

and losing 4 isnt bad

Sun 5:32 PM

at one the baies are midgets already

ahahahha

is favorite the heaviest or the one you picked up

daisy was number 6 hell hound

i got that guy to show me his bloodhound

haunted hill

it jumped down so cute

omg

a hill

im taking a break from homework

4 page paper, and again

a website wont work

for another paper

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blio1DWg-h8 she was mating with it

9 Months and Counting...Samara's story continues ❤

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF6ddrOMU2M where are they? in the garbage

MENGAPA NEGARA INDIA SANGAT KOTOR???

oh the laundry detergent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5825CFm5K-8 they did it too with each other and the guy just says uhhh.... what?

Age Gap Love: She's 78; He's 39! | A True Story

pause

she wont talk

im so tired

did you stay up all night for the puppies?

does your wife watch them all night?

people were not allowed out of prison it was to be executed

cky2k is next door sawing pipes making flutes

speed balling so i get off track

from cops

or cops get off me

he is gay and wants them on him

dream street and korn and beastie boys and insurance

white

medallion

take it off and love me /slaps them/

they are in the back house fucking the whole time smoking it

across the street

gregs

Sun 7:28 PM

chris says she is retiring next year

and all you kids are killing us

she is like 63

i thought people retired at 75

it was that in the 90s

and the living age was shorter

these people were just spoiled i hated their generation

no i get it, now what

you get it, i had them attack you

now what, come again

then theyre midgets wtf a couple old women

and i kept her home now what, agnes had 5 adolph hitler husbands

and 18 of her

and my teacher? wtf

and elizabeth taylor right after was mommy dearest

she isnt me!!

after living in a area that isnt them they cant stop screaming it

and attacking

and hey get her to attack her everyone is your kid

all retards do it

beth and anne marie fuck those men and made 35 chris's for clayton

and again

gone with the wind

clayton

donkey

in the french movie

left it

im in it

eeyore

collect all their things for me

so they did

george

guys pay to not hear any rude messsages from their other wives

their dad said all of those women are their wives

the psss

noise they make

went with him

whats going on now

give me her the kid

and he fucks her

to be the big boy

some fortunatly wasnt picked

sports guys do it to guys

she was insane to go against the

m

now its like yea

who gives a fuh

not me now top it

they drank together for 88 years

and switch up from church, weird fuck

fake eyes both of them

i heard a wind chime noise

scream

them standing there with their mouth open their child marriage left them

ohh no scream

the girl

the guy shows his balls

the girlfriends show their tits after

one guy 5 girls

david lee roth retired there were 55 of them

gave the money to their dad for his buisness

and shot them

Sun 11:07 PM

our love is younggg it shines so brighttt dont let it vanishh in the night

barfff

done with homework now

Ba r f

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRTtHaFk_UM come on mama come on mama come on mama come on mama

(근황 공개) 화상으로 얼굴과 손이 녹아버린 화문석 아주머니, 16년 후 근황을 전해드립니다┃We Met the Hwamunseok Lady After 16 Years

show the face

they all had plastic surgery

so did everyones mom

you fucked em once

bye

planet of the apes

same mask

[star-ocean-peahen]

NOOOOOO MY WRITING PROGRAM BROKE

[hawaiiparty2]

HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE IT IS: THE FINAL FULL SELF-iSH COSPLAY!

[derangedbutfun]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

[harringtonstilinski]

You Better Pt.3 - Joel Dawson

Author: @stilinskiparker​ Characters: Joel Dawson x Olivia Davis (OC) eventually Word Count: 3,664 Warnings: hell idk.. comedy??, monster stuff, italics are my (jess) inner thoughts,  A/N: Hi, friends! Here’s part three! So... I haven’t posted on this series since Nov 2020... We moved shortly after I posted Pt2, and I just haven’t thought about this series until about 5/14/22... which at the time of typing this up was two days ago. BUT! If you like this part, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy 😊

prev | current part | next

dylan o’brien + characters masterlist

joel dawson masterlist

~~~

TODAY PT3 CONTINUED…

As Clyde was looking over the cliff we stopped near to look for monsters, Minnow painted a target on a cactus to help teach me how to aim a little better… because we all know by now that my aim sucks.

So, while they were both doing that, Lady and I were slowly making our way towards them. I was so bad out of shape from all the spaghetti I’d made in the bunker.. Damn carbs. While I was huffing and puffing, I almost lost my footing. “Shit.”

“Language,” Minnow said.

“How the– you know what? Nevermind.” I caught my breath for a second before saying, “That’s a good, uh, that’s a good little workout there, Clyde.” I sat down then fell to my back, hunching all weird ‘cause of my backpack.

“A boy, huh?” Clyde asked.

“Yup,” I answered as Minnow took my crossbow out of my backpack. “My best friend. We got separated into different colonies when the monsters destroyed our town. Ow.”

“So, you left a nice, safe colony to travel to another colony to pick up this friend then head to the ocean so he hasn’t seen since he was, what, 17?” Clyde asked.

“Now, I know what you’re thinking,” I said. “I know it sounds crazy. I don’t know. If you knew our connection, or rather his connection to hers, you’d probably feel differently. We just got back in touch with each other over the radio a few weeks ago.” I looked down. “I don’t know. I feel like our connection is still there, ya’know. Hopefully, it’s a pick up where we left off type of thing. Feels like it, anyway..”

Minnow handed me my crossbow back while Clyde asked, “You ever hear of the term a fool’s errand?”

“Yes,” I said, standing up. “So, what? I’m a fool for wanting to see my best friend?”

“No. You’re a fool because you’re out here alone, not knowing a thing about survival…”

I aimed my crossbow as he was talking, pulling the trigger with the arrow not going very far. I looked at Minnow, who had a look of disappointment on her face as I said, “It– it was the– the wind.”

“You shoot for shit,” Clyde continued. “Yet you have an attitude like you’re some kind of noble warrior floating on the wings of love. Doesn’t work like that, kid.”

“Okay,” I said. “But who the hell said anything about love?” Minnow handed me the crossbow again after reloading it for me… again.

She pointed to the target before I fiddled with it for a moment. Holding it up how I was supposed to, I looked through the little scope I attached to it. I pulled the trigger again… only for the arrow to shoot up instead of straight. Tossing my head back, I said, “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.”

“You cuss one more time, I’m gonna start punching you,” Minnow sassed. “Besides, you’re braining out.”

“Huh?” I looked at her. “What does that mean?”

“Braining out. You’re thinking too much. I always clear my mind and say to myself, a needle through water.”

“A needle through water?”

“Liv, trust me. My dad was the best archer in my colony.”

“Oh, he was? Okay. Then why isn’t he out here giving me lessons?” I looked at Clyde, who looked back at me.

“Because I’m not her dad,” he said.

“My dad got killed,” Minnow said. “Back when we lived in the subway station… along with Elliot.”

“Oh, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry,” I said. “Wh-who’s Elliot?”

“My son,” Clyde said, putting his bag back on his back.

I hung my head. “ I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry. We all have stories like that, don’t we?”

After Minnow handed me my crossbow back, I started to aim it while saying to myself, “Needle through water. Needle through water.” I pulled the trigger and shot the arrow… into the cactus next to it. “Hey, that was pretty close!” “It was better,” Minnow said. 

“It was really good, right? Right?”

Minnow didn’t say anything, just slowly turned a little to the left.

“Ya’know, kid. You gonna hang with us, you need to know some stuff,” Clyde said.

Putting my crossbow on my shoulder, I said, “Yeah. Okay.” I was trying to look all cool and shit, but I don’t think I was getting that point across.

“First lesson.”

“Hit me.”

“Always survey from high ground when possible.”

Quickly putting down my crossbow, I put my backpack down, grabbing my notebook and writing down all the points he was going to tell me.

“Always,” Minnow said.

“Got it,” I said. “Always.”

“Helps you spot the big ones in advance,” Clyde said.

Writing down what he just said, I responded, “This is good. Keep going. It’s also nice to know that that thing’s not following us anymore.”

As I packed my notebook back up, Clyde said, “No, no, it’s definitely still following us. I just saw it. Yeah.”

“Wait, what?” I picked my bag up, putting it back on my back.

Clyde looked over at Minnow and said, “Chumbler,” to which she responded with, “I knew it!”

“Big son of bitch, too,” Clyde commented.

“Big sumanabitch,” Minnow said.

I heard Lady groan a little before Clyde said, “Got your scent, too. Gonna be hard to shake.”

“Then what the hell are we still   here for?” I said.

“Relax,” Minnow said. “Chumbler’s aren’t fast. We gotta keep moving.”

Clyde hummed in agreement. “Should’ve already been gone.”

With fear lacing my voice as Clyde and Minnow started walking, I said, “It’s not my scent.” I looked down at Lady and repeated it, more fear laced.

“Oh, yeah, it does.”

I ran over to the edge of the cliff and looked down, seeing the monster frog, now known as the Chumbler, moving through the trees. I turned around and ran to Minnow and Clyde. Once we got into the woods, I asked, “Where are you guys headed anyway.”

“North.”

“To the mountains,” Minnow said.

“What’s up there?” I wondered.

“A place called Snow Mountain Wilderness,” Clyde said. “Supposed to be some kind of colony up there full of survivors. The cold and elevation help to keep the monsters away.”

Turning to face me for a second, Minnow said, “You should definitely come with us!”

“I would, but ya’know–”

“You gotta go find your boyfriend,” she said, getting onto higher ground.

“One, Joel isn’t my boyfriend,” I said. “And two, if you knew him, you’d really like him.”

“Like how you love him?”

Flabbergasted, I didn’t know what to say. “Minnow!”

“He’s not gonna love you back ‘cause you can’t even get out of a Sandgobbler’s nest, and honestly, I just like you ‘cause you have a really cute dog.”

“Hurts right in the gut.”

“You’re so useless.”

“Uh–” I turned to look at Clyde, who reassured, “It just means she likes you. Don’t let it get to you. She’s been through a lot.”

I looked at Minnow, who was messing with some grass, while saying, “So annoying.” Looking back at Clyde, I noticed his whole demeanor changed before he said. “Liv?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t. Move.”

“Oh, my gosh.”

“Gimme your shirt.”

“My shirt?”

“I know you have a tank under your shirt. Gimme your shirt.”

I heard rumbling behind me as I whispered, “What do you mean?”

“Your shirt. Gimme your shirt.”

I mean honestly. How many times can he say “gimme your shirt”?

“Okay,” I whispered, not wanting to move.

“Get– Hurr– Gimme your shirt,” Clyde whispered.

“Give him your shirt, Liv,” Minnow whispered.

“Gimme your shirt.”

Very slowly with shaky hands and arms, I reached for the strap and the top of my jacket on my shoulder, tears starting to lace my eyes. “Shut up, I’m trying.” I finally got everything off my shoulders as Clyde said, “Take it easy. That’s it, that’s it.”

“Is it a Chumbler?” I asked.

“No,” he said, going to help take my shirt off. 

“What is it called?

“Take it easy. Lean over,” he said.

“If I don’t make it–”

Shushing me, Clyde bent me over more, taking the back of my shirt and pulling it over my head and down my arms. As I stood back up slowly, he came up my right side, hand on shoulder, saying, “Just stay very still.”

Very, very quietly and shakily, I replied, “Okay.”

I turned around, seeing a giant snail looking thing as Clyde started addressing the monster behind me, it growling at some points. “Ooooookay, buddy. Shh, shh, shh, shh. Easy does it. It’s okay.” Putting my shirt in the snail's rocks, Clyde continued, “You’re okay. It’s okay. You’re alright. Alright. Okay, now. On your way.”

The snail roared at Clyde before turning away and going on his journey… with my shirt.

“All good. On your way, now. On your way. Good boy, good boy.”

I’m guessing I had a look of terror on my face because Minnow said, “What’chu so scared for? Boulder Snails are nice.”

“There can be nice ones?” I asked, voice cracking at the end.

Pointing to her eyes, she said, “You can always tell in their eyes. Just look at their eyes.”

This one probably just saved our lives, too,” Clyde said. 

“Saved our lives,” I whispered.

“Gonna spread your scent all over this hillside. Shoot. That ol’ Chumbler ain’t gonna know which way to go.”

Feeling high as shit because I’m still terrified, I said, “So the Chumbler’s gonna follow my shirt?”

After a small roar from the Snail, Minnow and Clyde said, “Thank you, Mr. Boulder Snail!”

Getting a little cold from being scared, I wrapped my arms around my body, slurring, “Thank you.”

“They’re very sensitive, you know,” Clyde said. “But they’ll crush your ass… in a second.”

Still slurring, I said, “What a way to go.”

~~~

Night finally came, and I was calmed from our little adventure with Mr. Boulder Snail, sitting by a fire, hearing all sorts of noises from different monsters as I drew and wrote in my book. Even started writing Joel another letter.

Dear Joel, I don’t really know what to say other than I’m sitting by a fire with two people I just met; an older gentleman named Clyde, and a young girl about 10 or 12 named Minnow. They’re awesome. 

I encountered a couple of new monsters today. One called a Sandgobbler and it almost ate my skin off my bones, and another called a Boulder Snail; he was nicer.

Did you know that you can tell if a monster is nice just by looking at their eyes? Yeah. Minnow told me!

I’ve been trying to write while on my journey to see you, which hopefully I’ll be able to bust out two more of them for you. 

I really fucking miss you, Joel. Like, bad.

“What’cha doing?”

Jumping about ten feet out of my skin, I looked at who scared me; Clyde. “You just scared the hell out of me.” After getting my heart back in my chest, I said, “A letter. To Joel. I’ve been writing him letters. I started after we got separated, but stopped after a little while. I just picked it back up again. It’s a good way for me to get my thoughts out on paper, and I normally talked to him about all my thoughts, but…”

As Clyde made his way back over to where he was sitting before, I continued, “I also write about all the monsters we’ve encountered. I’m not the best artist or else I would draw them. That’s more Joel’s speed. From what I can remember, he’s terrible.” I chuckled, remembering all the drawings he’d shown me. “It’s nothing special. I’ll just write about all the monsters' strengths and weaknesses… shit like that. Felt like I was helping, ya’know.”

“You’re a pretty good writer,” Clyde said. I turned a couple pages, coming to one in particular that caught his eye. “I seen this one. Ugly bastard. Doesn’t like loud noises, also doesn’t like shotgun blasts to the head. Might wanna add that.”

I took my pencil and wrote down shotgun to the face. “Got it.”

“Do you mind if I–?”

“Oh, sure,” I said. “Go ahead.” I handed him my notebook, letting him look through it.

“Very pretty handwriting,” he commented. “Spent a lot of time perfecting all the different fonts?”

I nodded my head. “Yup. I needed something to do while down in the bunker, so I found this calligraphy book and just started practicing. Wasn’t anything special and it sure as shit didn’t help the colony out any.”

He flipped to a page about Agatha 6-1-6. “I was 16 when it hit.”

“Yeah, they sent everything up at once to take her down,” Clyde commented.  “They had the balls to call us the lucky ones just ‘cause of whatever the hell was in those things didn’t affect us. Ain’t nothing lucky about getting kicked off the top of the food chain.”

“Yeah, my parent’s and Joel’s parents thought if we could just.. make it out Fairfield, then we might’ve had a shot,” I said, looking down as sadness laced my voice.

“Wait, wait, wait. You’re from Fairfield?”

“Yeah, why?” I asked, looking back up at Clyde.

“I’ve never met anyone who made it out of Fairfield. That place was basically ground zero. Shit, I’ve only heard horror stories.”

I nodded my head, saying, “Yeah, it was pretty bad.”

“Your parents, uhh…”

“No, no. It’s just me…”

“And this Joel kid?”

“Yup. Just me and Joel. We couldn’t save our parents.”

“You putting that on yourself?” he asked, to which I hummed at. He sighed and said, “You’re from Fairfield. You shouldn’t even be here. Right? You’re more of a survivor than I thought.”

“Gee, thanks.” I thought about his words for a moment. “That’s actually the coolest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Handing me my notebook back, Clyde said, “It’s a good start. Keep it up. Book like this could save someone’s life out here.”

“Thanks, Clyde.” “You, uhm… you’re sure this boy is worth it? Coming all this way?”

“Yeah,. He is.”

A few seconds of silence went by as Clyde messed with logs in the fire before Minnow said, “Don’t settle, Liv.”

“She’s right,” Clyde said. “You don’t have to. Not even at the end of the world.” He rustled my hair some before I tried to get in a comfortable position to sleep, but that was short lived when Clyde clapped really loud and said, “Okay! Time to break camp! Let’s go!”

“Wait, what?” I asked, completely baffled.

“Lesson 2,” he said, standing and putting his bag on his back. “You get a hot meal or a good night’s sleep. Not both.”

“Not both,” Minnow said.

I sat up, opening my notebook to the page I titled Lessons from Clyde and Minnow before I packed it up and stood, shouldering my bag straps. “Are you being serious?”

“Something will have smelled our food and be all over this camp within the hour,” Clyde said.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that, though? I didn’t do either!”

“We can’t tell you everything. Keep up.” Clyde poured water on the fire and we headed off! 

All night we walked, and well into the morning. I was tired, I was starving. We stopped off at a little spot, where Minnow painted a face with a target in the middle for shooting practice.

“Rwar! I’m gonna kill you, Liv Davis! I’m gonna eat you like broccoli!” Minnow said, growling at the end. “I’m Liv, and I can’t protect my boyfriend and I’m useless and insecure and an awkward little teenager. But I need you to save me! I thought you loved me! But I can’t because–” She started making shrieking noises. 

I looked down at her from my crossbow, asking, “What?”

“That’s your boyfriend dying,” she said.

“One; we’ve been over this, he’s not my boyfriend,” I said. “And two; what?”

“A needle through water.”

I sighed, looking back through my bow’s scope, muttering, “A needle through water. Needle through water,” before I pulled the trigger and landed the arrow right between the “eyes” of this tree.

Minnow cheered for me as I looked shocked. “See? Bull’s Eye!” She rammed straight into my side, causing me to groan before shrieking as we both went down the ground.

“Got yourself a little sister there, huh?” Clyde asked. “Hey, we gotta get going.”

“Okay,” I groaned. “Minnow get up. We gotta go.” I went to get up, but couldn’t because Minnow wouldn’t get up. “Minnow? What are you doing?” We eventually got up and continued our journey before making a quick stop again, giving me the perfect opportunity to write another letter to Joel.

Dear Joel, I made some friends! Human friends! You already know about them; Clyde and Minnow. I don’t know why I’m telling you that again. But they’re teaching me everything they know. Like in lesson three; don’t take shortcuts! Lesson eight; target practice everyday! I’m getting pretty damn good with my crossbow, if I do say so myself. Lesson ten is a good one; keep your socks dry.

I’m really struggling with lesson two; not both. Meaning I can’t have a hot meal and a good night’s sleep. I’m super tired, and we both know how I get when I’m super tired.

After getting to a certain point in our journey, Clyde ever so kindly informed me, “Alright, there’s a lot of things out here that you shouldn’t touch or eat. Ferns like these have an antivemon. Good in pinch for snakes, slugs. Great entry for your book.”

I was trying to write and walk at the same time, which wasn’t working out great, but I’d be able to sit and rewrite all this later. “Yup. Got it.”

“The insect looking ones got no peripheral vision. Lizard looking ones can’t climb for shit. Amphibian looking ones like to hide, lure ya in, eat’cha whole. Then there’s the Sandgobblers, the badasses.”

“Badasses,” Minnow said.

“Yup,” I said. “Fell in their hole. That’s how we met, remember?”

“But what you saw were worker bees,” Clyde said. “What you wanna avoid under all circumstances is the queen.”

“How do I know if I’ve come in contact with the queen?” I asked.

“Well, your first clue would be a giant fin slicing through the Earth, following every single sound and vibration you make. You howling in pain as you’re being ripped in half will be your second.”

“Copy that. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“We’re getting close to where our paths diverge. You’re gonna want to go West to Jenner, the beaches. Or you can be sensible and come with us to the mountains.”

“Yeah, I’ve been sensible all my life and it’s literally gotten me nowhere,” I said.

“Come with us,” Clyde said. “Strength in numbers, ya’know? Besides, we’d make a great team.”

“Yeah, I think so, it’s just–” I trailed off. “This is something I’ve gotta do.”

“It’s not fair,” Minnow said. 

I turned around and locked eyes with her, seeing sadness all over her face. “Minnow.” I walked over to her, crouching down. “What’s going on, bub?” “Why do you gotta go?” she said, voice breaking.

“Because this boy,” I said. “He really means a lot to me. Come on, you know I gotta do this. We talked about it.” Thinking about my next move, I decided to give her something . “Hey, you know what? I got something for ya.” Reaching into my bag, I got the baseball that I was saving for Joel out, handing it to her.

“A baseball?” she asked, excitedly. She took it from my hands as I said, “Yeah,” before she hugged me tightly, grateful for this gift.

She stood back up, as she had to bend a little to hug me. “I take back what I said before. Joel’s gonna love you back.”

Not wanting to argue with her about the topic anymore because… well, because she’s right, I smiled and said, “Thanks, Minnow. Oop. You got some snot.” I stood and wiped her nose with the bottom of my jacket, both of us chuckling. “Come on.”

I turned around and walked towards Clyde, who was standing at the edge of woods near a clearing.

“Final lesson,” he said. “Listen to your instincts out here. They’ll keep you alive.” He turned to look at me. 

“What if I have the worst instincts?” I asked.

“You’ll die,” he said, almost nonchalantly while almost happy at the same time.

“Okay.” “Listen, love. Good instincts are earned by making mistakes. If you’re lucky enough to survive a few mistakes, you’re gonna be okay out here.” He held up a grenade, saying, “This might come in handy, too.”

Taking it from him, I said, “Wow. That’s awesome. Do you have any more that I could have?” “You get one,” he said. “Pull the pin, count to five. Not four, not six.”

I repeated the number five while looking at the explosive in my hands as Clyde put his hand on my shoulder and said, “You’re gonna be okay. Minnow? Let’s go, kid.” They started walking off as he said, “Hey, Liv! You made it all this way from Fairfield. What’s another 30 miles?”

“30 miles?” I said to myself. I started walking towards them when I asked, “You mean we passed Joel’s colony?!”

“Be safe out here!” 

I stopped walking as Lady continued her journey towards Clyde and Minnow, as Clyde said, “Here she comes!” Lady gave them some love before heading back in my direction.

We all raised our hands in goodbye before they continued on their journey.

At Lady’s whine, I said, “Yeah, I’m gonna miss them, too.”  I turned around and started walking back to the woods we emerged from, Lady staying where she was. “Come on, Lady.” I turned my back to see if she started following or not, and to my somewhat surprise, she did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N 2: And that’s where we’re gonna end it for now. I know, I know, cliffhanger. But the series will continue a little while after YABMH && WLCFL ends.

~~~

Forever / Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24​ @stixnstripesworld​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @quanticobae​ @mischiefandi​ @kellysashcroft​ @lauren-novak​​

If you’re tagged and didn’t want to be, please let me know.

~~~

*Please don’t post my writing anywhere else without my consent. The author of this work will always and forever be @stilinskiparker.

All characters, story lines, and plot aside from Olivia and her storyline & plot, are all of the work of the creators of Love and Monsters. Our home slice Olivia was made up all by me.

*These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.

No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Posted on May 17, 2022

[nattersgottaken]

HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

I've only played League like Once but my girlfriend likes kindred a lot so I doodled them

[thatbanjobusiness]

HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT I just heard eephing on a Stanley Brothers record!

[frannyzooey]

@ Chapter 4: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT. That is all. Thank you.

Reader, the whole fucking day:

I am so happy you liked it!! To see the reception it’s getting after working so hard on it is motivating for sure ❤️

Thank you!!

[onee-sama]

2000′s nostalgia playlists have such a huge effect on me already, I’m scared that by the age of 30 I’ll break to tears everytime someone plays Black Eyed Peas