#shhhhhh can cook shhhh

[kuinaoflight]

Hot

Funny

Can dance

Can do math

Can spell

Can drive

Can't cook

Look at that~!

-Kuina

[cookie-crumblr]

So i started Ezra because of this dream i had,

Ezra Drabble <3

MINORS DNI

CW: GN! Reader, yandere themes, sadism against reader, violence against reader,non con, non con exhibition, asphyxiation, burning, poisoning, names used against reader(trash,), hand job(kinda)y/n receiving, not proof read, praise, torture, puke,

(He’d be like this after we get together)

he’s chasing you, his gang close behind.

They let you have the lead after stripping you bare for the world to see.

You find a house where someone lets you in, the lady is nice.

She has so many lovely children, all playing harmoniously, or helping her cook. It smells delicious.

You have no time to enjoy it.

She throws a robe around you, before going back to her cooking.

Her kids, thankfully, are ignoring your presence.

Maybe something should have clicked that this was nothing new to them. But you have no time to think before the door practically flies off it’s hinges, revealing Ezra, leg still raised.

Not hesitating to run and hide you end up in the woman’s cold porcelain bathtub. You pull the shower curtain around you as if to shield you… But you’re breathing so hard it’s painfully obvious where you are. like bleeding in water and he’s the shark.

He bursts through that door too, and rips you out of the shower, wrapping you in the vinyl as he rips it off the rings.

Hands grip tightly around your plastic covered throat, there’s no air, and it suctions into your mouth when you try and gasp. You writhe and wriggle around but you can’t find the way for your hands to even reach your face.

The only sounds are a cacophony of your guttural screams and the horrible rubbing of the plastic. You think you hear his voice, but the meaning is lost.

You’re thrown to the floor once on the brink of blacking out. The grout between the tiles scrapes your skin.

As you gasp and force yourself up he plants a boot to your back and forces you back flat onto the floor, knocking the only wind from your lungs.

“Stupid trash, thinking you could escape me,” spit hits your back and you cringe.

He pulls you up by your arm, twisting your shoulder harshly, you feel something pop and squeal. “Please!!! No more!!!!” You try and break free, your feet slipping on the tiles. He practically purrs while watching you struggle against him powerlessly.

“You can take it.” His smile is venomous.

You’re brought to your knees as Ezra flicks his lighter on.

The flame is brought below your arm, you pull as hard as you can as you roar in agony.

“shhhh, shhhhhh, you can take it,” he coos sickly sweet for such a horrendous moment, but the praise mixed with the pain does something to you… You can’t help the flame burning itself against your arm, just the same as the one ignited in your belly.

“Fff-fuck!! Hurts!!!!” You writhe.

“It’s okay, shhhhh,” His hand drops the lighter as his other pulls you into his lap. Even with the flame removed, your arm is in excruciating pain. You twist in his grasp and it’s still not enough to free you. He pulls you so tightly against him, the only space between you is his clothing. “Shhhh”

His now free hand palms your center, and the mix of immediate pleasure and immense pain force an orgasm from you, a shuddering scream leaves you. as you shake and come down, tears and shuddery pained sobs fill the room.

He sits there, all the while with you tightly embraced in his lap, he pets your head and coos over and over little mantras of, “You did so good, I told you, you could take it, shhhhhh, shhhhh…” right into your ear.

The pain in your arm isn’t subsiding.

He reaches behind him, grabbing something that rustles like a brown paper bag…

“Wh-What are you getting?” You sniffle through groans.

“Somethin’ special, but you can take it… can’t you?”

You nod as his hand pats you on the head.

“Wait… What is—” You stop, eyes wide, and frozen before you start to scream and flail again. You try desperately to peel yourself away from him, but his hold around your wait is too strong. “PLEASE EZRA DONT!!!” You beg.

He takes a fist full of the white powder, you don’t know exactly what it is, but you know it’s hazardous.

“No No No NO NO NO NO!!!” you repeat head shaking from side to side, as his hand chases you.

His palm makes contact at last, and you gasp in a mouthful of the powder, instantly your mouth and throat is burning. There’s no way you’ll get it all out, you panic severely, hyperventilating, and shaking, as you try and spit and cough it out.

“Shhhhh, it’ll be okay, Y/N, shhhhhh,” He picks you up with him and takes you to the bathroom’s sink.

His fingers dig into your throat holding your mouth open and reaching your gag reflex. You throw up so much blood, and stomach acid. It hurts.

“Please…” is all you have left to say, blubbering little pleas as his fingers slide deeper, emptying you. The white porcelain is speckled and streaked in red.

“You’re doing so good,” He runs a hand down your back in a soothing motion.

He pulls you back into his body and embraces you, kissing you on your forehead before enrapturing your bloody, poison covered lips with his own.

[chloe-skywalker]

Breakfast in bed - Jason Todd

Jason x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 635

Requested: hi, can you write of jason todd is spending time with his daughter or son (her name will be whatever you want its going to be represented by D/N) and the reader begin secretly recording what she thinks is the cutest thing ever. Thank you for the reply! - @Anon

Authors Note: This is really cute, sweet request thank you for requesting it! Bat Fam stuff is under joker and harleys daughter masterlist

Masterlist

Joker & Harley’s Daughter Masterlist

******************************************************************

“Y/d/n, can you come here for a sec?” Jason called out from the living room softly enough to not wake his wife.

“Coming daddy!” Y/d/n called out in a happy tone. Running down the hallway from her bedroom. She jumped on her daddy’s lap, in a surprise attack. “What’s up daddy?”

Jason smiled and pretended to be surprised before answering her. “Princess, mommy’s birthday is today. An I was thinking that you and me could make her breakfast in bed. What’d you say?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” Y/d/n started clapping and nodding along.

Jason smiled adoring the love Y/d/n has for her mother. “OK, ok shhhhhh. We don’t want to wake her up now do we?”

“Shhhh” she copied her father putting a finger over her lips.

“Yeah, shhh. Now lets go to the kitchen and got started.” he laughed

^     ^     ^

When Y/n woke up and felt Jason’s side of the bed empty and cold, she popped open her eyes. Looking around and finding the bedroom empty, Y/n pulled on one of Jason’s nearby shirts and grabbed her phone.

Walking down the hallway she could hear some noise coming from the kitchen. Heading that way she stopped in the archway that leads to the living room and kitchen. When she stopped she saw a sight that made her heart melt. Jason and Y/d/n were covered in flour and batter. Y/n couldn’t help herself, she took a ton of photos of the scene between her husband and daughter.

“What’s going on in here?” Y/n asked with a smile as she watched the scene before her. So grateful that she took pictures of this moment between Jason and their daughter.

“MOMMY!” Y/d/n screamed out in joy, running over to her mom. Giving her a huge tight hug. She looked up to her and pouted. “You weren’t supposed to be up yet.”

Y/n raised an eyebrow, crouching down so she was level with her daughter. She smiled before asking why. “Oh? Whys that munchkin?”

“We were making you breakfast in bed. Now your not in bed.” Y/d/n exaggerated, throwing her arms up.

“Well, how about we bring everything back to bed. Yeah? Then it’s still breakfast in bed.” y/n offered, hoping it would make Y/d/n still feel like she gets to have her surprise.

“Ok! Happy Birthday mommy.” Y/d/n perked up, getting all excited about the fact the surprise could still happen.

“Thank you, sweety. Why don’t you go get the room all ready?” Y/n smiled at Y/d/n as she nodded in excitement.

“Ok!” she agreed running off to go get her parent’s bedroom ready however she wants it.

“Happy birthday baby.” Jason leaned in to kiss her as she came back up to her normal height.

“Thank you, Jaybird.” Y/n smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

“This a good way to start off your birthday?” Jason asked with a smile, but it had hints of a smirk to it.

“Absolutely. Oh and by the way I recorded that.” Y/n smiled mischievously.

Jason furrowed his brow while wrapping his arms around her waist. Loving that she was dressed only in his shirt. “Recorded  what?”

Y/n smiled in adoration, eyes sparkling. “You and Y/d/n cooking together, covered into food.”

“Oh is that right?” he smiled as he asked

“Hmmm hmmm. It was too cute not to film.” she nodded

“Well, I’m glad it brought you joy.” Jason tilted his head with a look that just was pure love.

“It did.” Y/n nodded, lifting her head up to get one last kiss before they head off to the room where their little one is waiting for them.

[vrfreeman]

The frostios server had a Secret Santa, and I decided to participate! This gift is for @kinda-sketchii !

Jingling of keys can be heard from the other side of the front door followed by a telltale clat! of said keys hitting the concrete. Some muffled cursing can be heard before the door is finally unlocked and a disgruntled-looking Bubby stalks in. They slam the door, drop their keys in the bowl, and throw their cardigan over the back of the sofa while growling to themself.

“oH lOoK aT mE, i CaMe FrOm A mOm AnD dAd AnD tHaT mEaNs I hAvE mOrE aUtHoRiTy In ThIs PrOjEcT tHaN yOu,” they sit down at the chair in their kitchenette area to untie and kick off their shoes, “Shut the fuck- You don’t even have the right qualifications to be on this project, you’re the goddamn project leader’s partner...” they sigh as they run their hands up their face and under their glasses to rub their eyes. 

As quickly as their frustrations flare into anger, it simmers and eventually bleeds into exhaustion. Bubby drags their hands downwards, resting their elbows on their knees and staring out of the window near the door they just came through. They live in the Area 3 topside dormitories, and have a view of the wide open New Mexico desert.

But, why, though? Bubby couldn’t exactly leave the facility, they were technically intellectual property. Why bother giving them this sort of view?

Maybe it’s just to torture me. They think, bitterly.

 It was late in the afternoon, with only a few clouds in the blue, blue sky and the sun was still hanging high- shooting bright, glaring rays of yellow through the window and onto Bubby’s face. Grumbling and covering their eyes, Bubby stands up and stretches their arms behind them. A few pops in their shoulders and back can be heard as they groan. They’re only 40-something and they’re already exhausted. Bubby runs their hands through their hair before flicking them away in disgust; they’re hair is greasy as all hell.

“Ugh, a shower should do me some good...” They slowly shuffle their way to their bedroom, grabbing the cardigan from the sofa on the way and putting it away properly before getting what they will need. A soft click of the bathroom door shutting resounds through the silent apartment. A soft shhhhhh from the shower soon follows.

One heavenly shower later, Bubby, still pink from the boiling temperatures of the water, shrugs on some soft clothing and moves into the kitchenette. It’s small, but there’s enough room for Bubby to make their own meals for themself. They had prepared some ingredients during the weekend for multiple different meals. Let’s see...in the refrigerator there’s meat like chicken breasts and ground meats like beef and turkey, there’s chopped onions, peppers, carrots, potatoes, chilled and saran wrapped pasta dough...Oh! pasta sounds pretty goddamn good right now. Spaghetti Bolognese should be pretty easy to make. 

Turning around to switch on the radio, a small smile grows on their face as some rock n roll fades in through the static. They’re shaking their hips and tapping their feet to the beat as they pull out the ingredients for the meal. Once everything is in place they roll up their sleeves and roll their shoulders as they relax into the motions of making dinner. 

Music floats through the air as Bubby starts rolling out the dough onto the floured surface. It takes a bit of muscle in order to effectively roll the dough thin enough, but the burn in Bubby’s arms is a good one. So, this may not technically be spaghetti, but they don’t own a pasta maker- so they’ll have to deal with thin, flat noodles. They focus closely, tongue poking out just a little bit, on cutting the noodles exactly the same; all of their attention is dedicated to making it uniform through the, frankly calming, rote movements. 

Once the pasta is properly cut and sectioned, the newly-formed noodles are set off to the side in order to make way for the sauce making. Bubby finds themself humming along to Johnny Cash while sautéing the onions and frying the garlic, filling the room with mouth-watering aromatics. Damn, they’re hungrier than they thought they were.

The ground beef is added and Bubby takes special care to make sure every piece of meat is thoroughly browned before adding the herbs and canned tomato sauce. They enjoy the specificity of cooking, even with simple dishes such as this. It allows them to relax and simultaneously focus- a wonderful reprieve after a long work day. A fun reprieve, too! If Bubby adds a little flare when adding the measured herbs, well, no one was around to point it out.

Next step was to let the sauce simmer, so Bubby got a pot of salted water to boil and added the noodles to it. Waiting on the two pots, they started swinging their hips and humming along to Chuck Berry. Making a damned fool of themself, for sure, but they didn’t care. In this apartment, they could do whatever they damn well pleased. Nobody to look down on them and nobody to put them down. Hell yeah!

Having set up the table during their internal pep talk, Bubby plates the noodles and sauce and sits down to enjoy the fruits of their labor. The first bite is...delicious! Of course it is, Bubby was the one who made it. Making the perfect not spaghetti spaghetti Bolognese is child’s play to the perfect scientist. Bubby’s feet tap in rapid succession underneath the table as they happily take another bite of their masterpiece.

They sigh through their nose as they look out of the window once again. The sun was now setting, painting the New Mexico sky brilliant reds and oranges and pinks. Vibrant colors reflected off of the red clay and sand on the earth, putting the cacti and stones in a contrasting black. If Bubby were an artist, they would sure as hell draw this scene over and over again. Maybe they could try to purchase some paints later? 

Though… this sky didn’t compare to one they viewed towards the end of their meal. With a clean plate, Bubby pushes it aside in order to rest their chin on their hand and stare out into the night sky. Constellations and planets decorated the sky above, while the rising moon (on the other side of the apartment, Bubby knew) made the dorm cast long shadows onto the blue ground below. The vast infinity of space lay bare before Bubby’s eyes, and they couldn’t help but to imagine...imagine themself out amongst the stars. Far away from Black Mesa, far away from this tiny, empty dorm, far away from their small-minded peers. Free! 

Some may consider the emptiness of space to be lonely and uncaring, but Bubby knows they’d feel safe and secure- wrapped up in the vacuum and rocking out with the stars.

Some day they’ll be out of here. Some day they’ll be with those that love Bubby just as much as Bubby loves them. They know this will happen, deep in their heart. They can hope, anyway.

“Some day...” Bubby gets up to put their dishes away and clean up. Soft clinking and a soft shhhh of running water blends with a mellow tune that resounds throughout the apartment. 

[mirthless-misanthrope]

Surprise (Jotaro Kujo Imagine)

A/N: wow, i wrote something, how shocking :0 it’s short but... it’s something 

the prompt for this was “cooking together” but i interpreted it a bit differently whoops

Trigger Warnings: literally none except maybe ooc jotaro

Enjoy!

...

Contrary to popular belief, Jotaro is good at cooking. He’s… leagues better than I am. It’s insane how good the food he makes for me is, so I set a goal for myself to improve my cooking skills. 

That goal leads to this situation that Jotaro comes home to. Flour is all over the place, the counters are an absolute mess, there’s a splatter of batter on the ceiling, dishes are overflowing from our sink, and I’m right in the middle, covered in basically everything I had used to make the batter that’s now in the oven. See, cooking savory things has never been my strong suit, but I do know how to bake a plethora of desserts. The only issue with that is… I’m a messy baker. I never try to make such a mess, but I apparently have quite the talent (if the batter on the ceiling is any indicator). I’m going to clean everything up when I’m done, of course, but Jotaro’s presence in the doorway makes me freeze.

“Ah, JoJo… You’re home early… U-Um, I’m gonna clean this up, I promise, I was just trying to make you something…”

His chuckle makes me relax a bit, but I’m still confused. Why would he be chuckling? 

“Yare yare, woman. You got stuff all the way on the ceiling… How were you gonna get that? Star and I are helping you clean.” A pleased ‘ora’ comes from behind him and I notice Star floating up to the ceiling with a washcloth, cleaning the batter off with ease. 

“You don’t have to help me, I mean, I made this mess,” I frown up at him, moving to grab a rag and wipe the counters down. 

“I need to make dinner. Your mess interferes with that. If we help, it’ll get cleaned faster. What the hell were you making, anyway?” Jotaro’s large hand joins me in wiping the counters down with his own rag.

“Well… It’s… It’s a surprise.”

Silence. And then, he sighs.

“If you wanted to cook, you should’ve waited for me to come home. I wouldn’t have let you make such a mess.”

I just shake my head, blushing a bit as we clean the kitchen together.

…

With tons of help from Star and Jotaro, the kitchen is spotless within a half hour. As soon as all the stuff on the stove is fully cleaned off, Jotaro starts to cook some sort of stir-fry for dinner as I check on my surprise that’s in the oven. Perfect. I somehow manage to pull the pan out of the oven and into the other room without Jotaro noticing, making me grin… that is, until Star pops up in front of me with a huge grin. “Star, shhhh! Don’t tell him, okay? It’s a surprise.”

“Ora ora?”

“... Yes, you can help decorate it.”

“Ora!”

“Shhhhhh! Geez, he’s gonna hear you if you keep that up…”

The decorating process is… quite an adventure with Star there. He helps me a lot more than I thought he would: he sneaks the frosting I made from the refrigerator, he makes sure the frosting is spread perfectly, and he even double checks the spacing between each little decoration. His dedication to helping me is adorable. It really takes no time at all before the surprise cake is finished, thanks to Star’s endless help. Admiring our work, I grin as I notice how Star made a heart shape with sea stars, and put dolphins in the middle of them. How cute.

“Alright, what are you two doing?” Jotaro steps in holding two plates of stir-fry, but he stops in his tracks once he sees the cake. 

“Ora!”

“Um… surprise?” I give Jotaro a sheepish smile.

The expression on his face is unreadable for a moment. “So this is why you made a mess. Yare yare… It’s for me, huh? Why’d you make me a cake?” He walks up to the cake, observing the decorations and smiling a tiny bit. “Cute.” With a light blush, he picks up one of the dolphins and brings it up to look at it closer. “Bottlenose dolphins, huh?”

“Do… Do you like it?”

“... Yare yare, of course I do.”