#shewantstoloveandbeloved

[unfriendly-blackh0ttie]

For as long as I could remember I always imagined what it was must be like to have a good best friend, and a good man to call yours. Every friend I've ever had turned into an enemy. I've never had a real relationship without me having to compete against another chick or no lies, no bullshit. My last dude really fucked me up in the head and idk how I'm going to recover from this one. It's in the past but it still hurts like it happened yesterday. What kind of boyfriend goes against his girlfriend that he "loves and would do anything for" and wants to be cool and have good relationships with his girlfriends worst enemies. I mean bitches that hated me back in high school and still do until this day. This nigga is 30 years old and let his 23 year old friend manipulate our relationship because he was jealous that I never have him any cookie and I wanted his friend instead. Mind you the 23 year old already had a girlfriend that he introduced me to, but still tried to fuck. From then on I knew that nigga was foul but when he found out I was with his friend oh he wasn't having that big I was all kinds of whores and ain't shit bitches smh and my ex believed every word because that's his boy and he grew up with him lol. I really don't want to meet anymore of these bitch ass men that sit around and gossip and watch love and hip hop together. I'd rather be a single bitter bitch than deal with that again. I remember I use to have to beg him to take a shower because his dick always smelled like dead possum he said he washed up with Old Spice but always smelled a pond full of rotten period blood and would catch an attitude when I would beg him to take a shower. He was the first black guy I ever dated I thought I would give him a chance, not that I have anything against black men I've just always found white/Hispanic guys more attractive so I dated them. All of them men I've been with might of had their issues but I NEVER had to beg them to wash their ass especially the Spanish guys they wear the best cologne and always smell good. Anyways, this little nigga was in denial and didn't believe he had a problem so weeks and weeks went by we stopped having sex he would get an attitude and call me all kinds of names because I didn't want to fuck his funky ass and then try to make jokes about me dating white boys like that was the biggest mistake I had ever made 🙄 none of those white boys stunk hell they all fucked me better than he ever could anyway. My ex could never make me cum, I use to watch him fucking me and he always looked uncomfortable and scared 😂 he was a real weirdo I hope my next relationship is my last because I want it to be everything I ever wanted. I have a big heart ❤️ and I have so much to give to make someone who loves me for me 👱🏾‍♀️ that's all I ask. I hope my next boyfriend is funny and can make me laugh and smile when I'm being moody. I want some "us against the world" kinda shit. I want to make someone so happy to be with me they would never have to second guess our relationship. I would like a family one day, I know I would make a great mother���� two kids is good enough for me. It makes me so mad that I always end up with people who are the complete opposite of what I want🙄 I just want to be loved and in love with a good man who will support me in my cosmetology career. Have my back no matter what and always be there for me... but until then I'll just be single and Day dream about my married life 💕