#shes so crazzzyy! Love her!

[sprinedankle]

someone tell cheesy bridgers i love her more than anything

[west529]

Excerpt From Lightlark by Alex Aster

“And she didn’t love him . . . she barely knew him.

But shouldn’t he be afraid of what she was feeling now?

She pressed herself closer, completely against him, reading his reaction, surprising herself with her boldness. And Grim only laughed darkly. His hand ran a slow trail down her spine—then up once more. “Hearteater,” he said into her ear. “You’re killing me.”

I actually downloaded my tumblr again so that I can have a place to dump all my feelings about Lightlark cause I can’t contain all of this alone. 😭 But I’m quite surprised with the reviews I saw here!! It was well praised on Instagram as far as I know… and I am actually enjoying it. 😭 I am not that much of a reader so maybe I understand why some bookish people would have some negative opinions about it cause they know… hahaha anyways I’ll keep on reading and see how it really is. It’ll also be made into a movie so I wanna know how it’ll turn out. 😂

Huhu also don’t tell if you know, but I wonder if Isla will end up with Grim or Oro, or no one at all. 😭 I want it to be Grim cause maybe of all the mysteriousness and stuff. But Alex Aster is still playing with the emotions I guess at this part of the book! Hahahaha crazzzyy… why is Grim helping Islaaa I wanna knowww

[catdemontraphouse]

Vent post sorry ignore it y’all

I apologize for putting this but I really just... need to put this someplace and writing it in a journal and then stuffing that book in a place nobody can find it feels like when I used to hide things as a kid and made them worse, so this is my next most viable place to write. It’s just about how OCD almost killed me and like... I’m okay I just need to vent cuz somehow the trauma bubbled up in my mind lol

——————————

Thinking about the fact that the only reason I’m alive is because of the kindness of spirits. I know that sounds crazy but... It makes sense when you get the whole picture. Sorry I’m just getting this off my chest someplace where I can be relatively anon, you guys probably shouldn’t read this it’s very disturbing. As I said I’m just putting here for my own therapy cuz hiding it in a book makes me feel like complete ass like I’m still running away from it.

As a kid I developed really bad OCD to the point where I had severe delusions and psychosis shit- yes that is a thing that can really happen to people with OCD and it’s horrifying. It started when I was twelve and I wasn’t allowed to have any medical help until I was 21 or so (my junior year of college) and this was after several times I’d almost tried to kill myself. As a kid I’d cry myself to sleep like all the fucking time. I didnt feel safe telling anyone just how fucked up I was because my mom would say shit like “If you don’t explain what’s wrong I’m going to send you away” and I bet she was bluffing like a fuckin ass but as a child I thought that meant going to the type of inhumane sanitarium they show in movies about “Ooooo crazzzyy peoplleee!” Smart move mum that’s a perfect way to get a kid to tell you what’s tearing them up inside. My mom is a really good person who loves me but she fucked up ROYALY on this because she had super twisted moronic ideas about mental health. Thankfully I’m pretty sure she understands that now. Once she finally got shit through her massively thick skull she became and continues to be a strong advocate for me who actively tries to protect me from triggers and shit. Old nuerotypical folks really don’t fucking understand because they were raised in moronic shitty times to be alive. They don’t mean to be crappy and they need to be educated cuz they think ignoring stuff is how to protect people, as blatantly stupid as that is.

Anyhow some of the delusions I had as A KID included: thinking I’d either been or would be sexually violated and had no way to protect myself, thinking God actively despised my existence and wanted me to suffer and/or die, severe contamination fears, unwanted terrifying thoughts, thinking I might be violently possessed by a demon cuz I grew up with a crazy religious father who ranted about Hell etc. The only thing that saved me from this aside from getting some actual motherfucking professional help was the occult. Seriously that shit helped me overcome my religious scrupulocity which was the source of so many of my deadly fears. I used to constantly worry about Satan and demons and shit as a child and now I laugh at horror movies and make jokes about “agents of stan” and “deemoonz.” I felt worthless and afraid and now I still feel like ass, but I know I’m strong as fuck and I’ve got people backing me up always and forever, even folks who are between worlds. I feel like I have renewed power and I no longer feel like as much of a helpless victim. Life for me is still hard and kinda shitty but I’m beginning to feel stable again even if it’s just a little bit. I know believing in supernatural shit might be on crack but it makes me so happy.

[njmphadora]

92 TRUTHS TAG GAME

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

thank you @wjnterbucky and @alrightevains for tagging me !!! throwing this tag out now to @hollandstcm @obliviaet @arianadumbeldore @howlingremus @yigrittes @acciolunalovegood @ginniewheezie @mollyprewett @scourgify @pctter @ohmargaery @dementvr @sirjsblack @tcrtarus @siltheryn @chewbqcca @isakvaltzrsen @hermionegrangcr @lilyevansh @ctaeth

LAST…

[1] drink: apple & blackcurrent squash + fizzy water [2] phone call: my mum bc she needed me to pay her back where is the crying with laughter face when u need it [3] text message: my boyfriend bc we were discussing the new hp books [4] song you listened to: urghh idk i had my spotify on shuffle and then eventually just stopped paying attention to the music [5] time you cried: i don't remember but i think it was probably recently

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: jsnsjkf yes but only one guy [7] been cheated on: no thank god [8] kissed someone and regretted it: aahahhaa yes [9] lost someone special: yeah [10] been depressed: lmao yes i was a true emo kid [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: assnfskj SO MANY TIMES

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS…

[12] pink [13] purple [14] cyan

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: umm yes but only on tumblr [16] fallen out of love: nope [17] laughed until you cried: yeah lmao :)) [18] found out someone was talking about you: nope [19] met someone who changed you: no [20] found out who your true friends are: tbh yeah more than any other year, this year i really saw them for who they were... and most of them sucked jsfns [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: i don't have facebook anymore but technically yeah bc my boyfriend is on facebook so...

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i don't use facebook [23] do you have any pets: nope although my bf has 3 cats and honestly one of them walks all over me like i'm their owner and the others are pretty used to me, they're like my part-time pets okay [24] do you want to change your name: no way !!! tbh i'm gonna hate giving half my name up when i get married, i love my surname [25] what did you do for your last birthday: sat in with my boyfriend & bestfriend drinking wine + eating pizza + playing board games and it was amazing. [26] what time did you wake up: i don't remember ??? sometime between 10am and 11am i think. [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: on tumblr [28] name something you cannot wait for: starting university tbh like i'm crazzzyy nervous but also super super excited! [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like half an hour ago ? [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: jjbkjnjnkjn i wish i didn't have this illness so that i could have stayed and worked at penguin and become an editor instead of having to quit and go to uni [31] what are you listening to right now: nothing, it's so depressing. my sister is asleep next door to me and she gets pissed if i play anything this loud at night and i haven't put in my headphones yet because i cba to find them [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: i don't think i have actually ??? [33] something that is getting on your nerves: wasps [34] most visited website: my own blog no shame [35] elementary: primary school, thank you very much. [36] high school: secondary school was awful tysm for askin. i went to a prison of posh kids, it was hell. [37] college: starting uni in october !!! i'm gonna be studying english lit. [38] hair colour: muddy brown [39] long or short hair: eh somewhere between medium and long [40] do you have a crush on someone: it's not really a crush ?? [41] what do you like about yourself? my hair can be nice when it's well behaved and i actually kinda like my arms and hands for some reason and idk why ??? [42] piercings: okay so 3 lobe piercings on my left ear, a 8mm stretcher and a cartilidge piercing on my right, and i also have my right nipple pierced. [43] blood type: no-eyed-deer [44] nickname: nat / snig, and my boyfriend calls my "princess" which i think is super cute. [45] relationship status: happily taken for like almost four years ?? i think something like that. [46] zodiac sign: aries [48] fav tv show: friends, gossip girl, girlmore girls, sherlock, doctor who (during the tenth doctor), pretty little liars. lmao i couldn't pick just one. [49] tattoos: i've got one on my ribcage area ?? like under my boob, and it says "And they all lived happily ever after..." but i'm also trying to save up for a few more. [50] right or left handed: right.

FIRST…

[51] surgery: i've never had surgery [52] piercing: lobe piercing when i was a wee kiddy [53] best friend: he was called oliver but i called him oyer and i think i fancied him [54] sport: ballet [55] vacation: bournemouth x) [56] pair of trainers: urmmm lmao no clue ???

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: haribo [58] drinking: squash + fizzy water [59] i’m about to: roll and go out for a smoke [60] listening to: nothing [61] waiting for: this tag game to end [62] want: pizza [63] get married: pretty soon hopefully [64] career: idk but i'd still love to be an editor

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: older [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: neither [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? yes omg but i was always really really really drunk [75] drank hard liquor? jnsfjk yes [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? omfg yes so many times [77] turned someone down: yes urghh it's so awkward and it actually breaks my heart [78] sex on first date? cryingcrying idk technically ?????? [79] broken someone’s heart? yes [80] had your own heart broken? yes [81] been arrested? no [82] cried when someone died? no (no one i know has died since i got to an age where i started crying) (if someone died now i would cry like freakin crazy) [83] fallen for a friend: LOL yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? not really ? [85] miracles? no [86] love at first sight? no [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? yes [89] angels? no

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: tory [91] eye colour: brown [92] favourite movie: harry potter / clueless / mean girls / ferris bueller's day off / star wars / lord of the rings / back to the future

[redgf]

Brendon, Tyler, Josh, Lily

brendon: ok so ive met a few but specifically this year there was this one senior in my ap psych class who was just so fucjing funny…like kind of dumb funny but idk it just fit him because he was so genuine. BUT omg so for part of our final we had to do a TED talk and he did his on drugs. but not only that. this mf RATED which drug is the best to which one is the worst. and omg throughout the entire presentation he kept exposing himself. it was crazzzyy i wish someone taped it

tyler: douchebag drug dealer who was also in my psych class and did his TED talk on how the earth is flat…just no. but yeah he’s the weed guy

josh: dumbass i knew in middle school who was w the popular group but like. straight up DUMBASS everything he did was so stupid

lily: i know a few but my 6 month old pups name is lily and she's the sweetest bundle of joy i love her with all my heart. but she snores and keeps me up all night