#sherlock & co q&a highlights

[jolieblack]

Here are some highlights from the Q&A (by no means a complete transcript, just my favourite titbits!).

* Joel started drafting the first versions of Sherlock & Co. episodes at the same time when his young daughter was diagnosed with autism, so he basically just happened to read the Sherlock Holmes stories and lots of books about autism at the same time. After that, he "couldn’t unsee" Sherlock’s autism in ACD‘s original stories. He's very happy if neurodiverse people recognise themselves in this version of Sherlock and approve of the way John approaches the matter, too.

* Joel hadn’t originally intended for "Mrs Hudson" to be quite so involved in the cases. It just happened organically because Marta da Silva's performance as Mariana was so great and their dynamics as a trio worked so well.

* Regarding fanart, Joel mentions @4thelneyj0nes and @noodles-and-tea by name and says you both "nailed" Watson. He was also fascinated by two artworks he saw of Watson with the sledgehammer. [I looked and looked because I know I saw them, too, but can’t find them again now - if they’re yours or you have a link, please get in touch so I can credit you properly.] Joel shares fanart for the show with all three lead actors and they all enjoy and appreciate it.

* Joel, Watson and ACD all share the same birthday [May 22] and Joel and Watson are the same age [which someone else will have to look up for me]. Watson also shares some personality traits with Joel and Paul Waggott; both Paul and Watson are extreme "nice" people, in Joel's book.

* Sherlock says he has DID in the pilot. Does he have DID [Dissociative Identity Disorder]? Joel says he touches a bit on that in Gloria Scott but doesn’t think Sherlock is a case of full-blown DID because then he'd be so severely impacted that he couldn’t live life the way he does. It’s more Sherlock saying "people would probably slap this diagnosis on me considering some of the struggles I have" than "I 100 percent have this". Sherlock will have made an effort at some earlier point in his life to be more "like the normies", but eventually he would just have given up.

* Joel’s favourite moments from the show so far include Jabez Wilson as a character, whom he found "very, very funny". There’s also a moment in Noble Bachelor where Sherlock deadpans "Good God" that is now part of Joel's vocabulary (both the words and the tone). He also enjoys "Paul struggling physically" because that always translates so well in the audio.

* We’ll be getting to meet all the main recurring characters eventually, especially Mycroft, although he’s not in the immediate future and no actor has been cast in the role yet.

* The occasional changes to characters' genders are done both to modernise the story (as with Inspector Lestrade, who could easily be a woman nowadays), and for diversity especially in the audio medium. It would be harder for the audience to tell the characters apart if they were all or mostly male like in ACD’s stories.

* The show will always be a mix of being a bit cynical and sarcastic about society and being compassionate about humankind and human flaws, because Joel feels that both aspects have kind of their own audience and he wants to disappoint neither.

* With Watson, Joel is exploring how sometimes people who don’t consider themselves a very serious person go into very serious professions as if to subconsciously make up for something. This could have happened here with John going into both medicine and the army. However he was at a loss what to really do with his life by the time he met Sherlock, who knows exactly what he wants to do with his life, so John is drawn to him in an almost "magnetic" way and "latches" onto him immediately for that reason. But they’re also best friends in the classic best friends way, by the time of Blue Carbuncle at the latest. "Best friends who need each other."

* And then Mariana comes in as the "co-best friends to both of them", but she’s not supposed to be intruding on the relationship that John and Sherlock have.

* Originally the structure of the show was supposed to be heavier/bigger cases alternating with lighter/shorter/less angsty cases ("palate cleansers") but then Gloria Scott happened in between two heavyweights and it was anything but light and easy, so now they’re just going for diversity rather than a strict pattern of mood or vibe.

* They started the show with 10 episodes already written and recorded. They currently have a buffer of about four weeks (i. e. four episodes), but it is stressful and Joel would prefer six.

* "There are hundreds of adaptations of Sherlock Holmes. What do you want this one to be remembered for?" - "We want to be the one that did all of them, and we want to be the light-hearted, enjoyable one. Upbeat most of the time, happy most of the time. Comedy is our happy place." [Maybe this is some comfort for those of you suffering from pre-emptive Reichenbach dread.]

Sherlock & Co QnA with Joel Emery

GUYS THIS WAS AN AMAZING EVENT!

We learned so much stuff: behind the scenes process, how they approach adapting the stories, where they're going (no spoilers), and what they hope for the future.

Also, I got a question answered at about the halfway mark.

Go take a listen! It's really great!

(I'll work on getting a transcription for the event too!)

[dassandre-00qpidsarrow]

Fics of 2020 Highlights

Rules. it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works! I apparently wrote a lot of words last year.  Over 100k of them with a beloved writing partner, so I can't know exactly how many of them are mine, but I was pretty prolific solo, too.  And though 2020 sucked -- really, really sucked! -- in general, I'm quite pleased by many of my stories.  I hope you all were, too. This list is chronological by posting date. Tagged by @ato-the-bean

24 Years of Christmases: Chapter 22 - "North Star" - Series Rating: E   (Chapter published 1/2020)

Chapter Summary

:   Christmas Eve was festive but subdued. Hushed with moments of cheer that came from family being together and shared stories of Christmases past: Violet’s with Siger before the boys were born, the year Remy got the best of Mycroft and Sherlock with mince pies liberally laced with castor oil, the Christmas when Emma was nine and she spent the entire night waiting up for Father Christmas only to wake up under the tree wrapped in her father’s arms. James even told a ribald tale of Christmas he spent in a Bedouin encampment in the middle of the Sahara.

This is a particularly painful chapter in the Bond/Holmes Clan’s Christmas experiences, but it is one that I think gets to the heart of who James and Q (Remy) are as a couple.

Without Being Told - Co-authored with @boffin1710 - Rating E - WiP (Published 4/2020; 165k and counting)

Summary

:  The disaster made of Westminster Bridge and dismantling the remnants of Nine Eyes were only the beginning of the mess that needed to be cleaned up after James Bond walked away from everything hand-in-hand with Madeleine Swann.  Sooner or later, something was going to break. No one expected it to be The Quartermaster.

Boffin and I set out to tell a story about what would happen if James Bond came back to MI6 after faffing off with Madeleine Swann and found that Q no longer worked there.  Not only did a character overthrow the initial plan and claim Q (Ellery) as his own despite the authors’ initial intentions, but ... WOW!  The response to this fic is nothing either one of us anticipated.  We are truly humbled by all the readers and the comments and want to do justice by them and the characters as we make our way toward the ending.

Sefa, The Publican -  Part of “The Hole and Corner” series - Rating NR (Published 7/2020)

Summary:  This is part of the series "The Hole and Corner" which focuses on a pub of the same name. This pub is the best-kept secret in London. Literally. The only ones who know about it are those who work for MI6. It is *their* pub. It's a place where they can safely relax and talk without always having to watch their back. Some chapters focus on characters we already know. Other chapters, like this one, center around original characters who help "flesh out" the entire pub experience.

This chapter fulfilled a collaborative prompt square for 007Fest. Soufflegirl91 asked to learn more about The Hole and Corner's publican, Sefa, who was introduced in the first part of this series, "The Pub."  I have come to adore Sefa, as do most of her patrons.  She is particularly enamored of Q who feels much the same.

Cupcake -  1904 words of utter fluff and crack (Published 7/2020) - Rating NR

Summary

:   The resulting explosion of tart lemon counterbalanced with the sweet raspberry across his taste buds nearly sent James in paroxysms of gastric joy. It was the best damn thing Bond had ever eaten.

This story came about from a photo of a cupcake provided to me by

@boffin1710

who said the cupcake was the best he’d ever eaten.  Of course, after a foodie review like that, I had to turn it into a fic.  A photo of said cupcake can be found at the bottom of the story.

Long Day ... or Was it a Week?  Part of “The Hole and Corner” series; Co-Authored with @boffin1710 - Rating NR (Published 8/2020)

Summary

:   The Hole and Corner sees to the needs of its patrons in ways you just can't find in any other pub.

Another glimpse into The Hole and Corner and how Sefa meets the needs of her unique patrons.  Q, in particular, is often in need of some TLC.  I really enjoy writing in this series and hope to have more stories set there soon.

They’re Only Words -  Co-Authored with @boffin1710 (Published 10/2020)

Summary

:  “We’re all too bloody busy, and until you complete the required Psych evaluation, you are banned from your Branch. Get it done, Q!” 

Q faces off with Psych and finds an unexpected ally along the way.   This ended up being a rather unique piece for both Boffin and me.  It’s more of a character study/exploration of Q and his interactions with an OC Double-O.

I know this is six stories, rather than the five listed, but I had a hard time choosing.  

Tagging:

@boffin1710 @notwhatyouthoughtiwas @iambid @1amvengeance @frickandfrack83

[forgottenlivesobverse]

Philip Purser-Hallard Q&A

Our final Q&A is with Forgotten Lives’ editor Philip Purser-Hallard. His story for the book, ‘House of Images’, features the Robert Banks Stewart Doctor, and opens like this:

‘The usual dreadful creaking and bellowing from the rooms above the dusty office informed me that the Doctor would soon be coming down to check on my progress. I really don’t know what he does up there to make that racket. If you asked me, I’d have to guess that he’s trying to invent a mechanical walrus, and enjoying some success.

‘Honestly, Auntie, I wouldn’t put it past him. My employer is a strange man, with obsessive interests and a deeply peculiar sense of humour.’

 FL: Tell us a little about yourself.

PPH: I’m a middle-aged writer, editor and Doctor Who fan; also a husband, father, vegetarian, cat-lover, beer-drinker and board games geek.

A couple of decades ago I wrote stories for some of the earliest Doctor Who charity ‘fanthologies’, Perfect Timing 2 and Walking in Eternity (whose co-editor, Jay Eales, has contributed to Forgotten Lives). These led directly to my published work in multiple Doctor Who spinoff and tie-in series, starting with Faction Paradox.

Since then, among other things, I’ve written a trilogy of urban fantasy political thrillers for Snowbooks, and two Sherlock Holmes novels for Titan Books. I’ve also edited six volumes of fiction for Obverse Books, in the City of the Saved and Iris Wildthyme series. And I founded, coedit, and have written two-and-a-half books for, The Black Archive, Obverse’s series of critical monographs on individual Doctor Who stories. (Mine are on Battlefield, Human Nature / The Family of Blood and Dark Water / Death in Heaven.)

But those two anthologies are where it all started.

FL: How did you conceive this project?

PPH: I’m fascinated by unconventional approaches to Doctor Who, an interest fostered by three decades spent reading the Virgin New Adventures, the BBC Eighth Doctor Adventures and such experimental spinoffs as Faction Paradox and Iris Wildthyme. (Again, I’m glad to have worked with alumni of those series, including Simon Bucher-Jones and Lance Parkin, on Forgotten Lives.) I love the Doctor Who extended universe when it’s at its most radical, questioning, deconstructive and subversive. The Morbius Doctors, standing outside the canon with a foot in the door, are a great vehicle for exploring that.

Once I had the idea for the anthology, the charitable cause followed naturally. These are the lives that the later Doctors have forgotten, and that loss of identity and memory could only put me in mind of the experience of my grandmother, who lived with Alzheimer’s for many years before her death. Gran was a shrewd, intelligent woman, and it was deeply upsetting to see her faculties steadily deserting her. All charities are going through straitened times at the moment, of course, and all of them are in need of extra support, but I felt Alzheimer’s Research UK was particularly worth my time and effort.

FL: Each story in the book features a different incarnation of the Doctor. Tell us about yours.

PPH: As I’ve written him, the Robert Banks Stewart Doctor is a grumpy, ebullient name-dropper with quietly brilliant detective skills and a penchant for deniable meddling. So far, so quintessentially Doctorish, but this incarnation also has an unusual interest in magic and alchemy, a long-term mission on Earth, and an old nemesis demanding his attention.

FL: These Doctors only exist in a couple of photos. How did you approach the characterisation of your incarnation?

PPH: The photo of scriptwriter Robert Banks Stewart that appears onscreen in The Brain of Morbius has a grim look on his face, but there’s another where he seems to be having a lot more fun in the costume. I played with that contrast by making his Doctor a man of excessive, rather theatrical moods, curmudgeonly and charming by turns. With his fur collar, there’s something rather bearlike about him, which made me envisage as quite physically large.

I also love Paul Hanley’s artwork for the character, where he elaborates on the costume to portray this Doctor as a kind of renaissance alchemist – Paul says ‘I like the idea that this is the Doctor who was most interested in “magic”, psychic phenomena, etc.,’ and I certainly leaned into that.

Banks Stewart’s own persona comes through in the Doctor’s Scottish accent and in some of the story choices. Both the Doctor Who scripts he wrote are set in contemporary Britain, so this Doctor’s story is a ‘contemporary’ one – though the timeframe I was envisaging for these forgotten Doctors means that works out as the 1940s. Banks Stewart created the TV detective series Bergerac and Shoestring, and so this Doctor fancies himself as a detective. And he also wrote for The Avengers (and for the Doctor and Sarah rather as if they were appearing in The Avengers), so there’s a flavour of that in the action, the whimsy, and the relationship between the Doctor and his secretary, Miss Weston.

FL: What's your story about?

PPH: The Doctor is in early-1940s London, observing the geopolitical progress of World War II on behalf of the mysterious power he represents, when he’s distracted by a burglary carried out by men bearing a close resemblance to the comedy duo Laurel and Hardy. This brings him into conflict with a figure from his past, a sorcerer known as ‘the Magus’, who represents another cosmic faction with its own agenda.

FL: The stories are intended to represent a ‘prehistory’ of Doctor Who before 1963. How did that affect your approach?

PPH: Since the eight forgotten Doctors are supposedly the incarnations preceding Hartnell, it was part of the concept from the first that these stories would reconstruct – thematically and narratively, though not in terms of TV production values – Doctor Who as it ‘would have been’ in the 1940s, 50s and early 60s. In one sense that’s a very conservative approach, but it also highlights the ways in which Doctor Who in reality has been a product of its various times.

For my own story I drew on two mid-20th-century influences – Charles Williams, a friend of CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien, who before his death in 1945 wrote occult thrillers infused with his own very eccentric brand of Christianity; and the Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films set during World War II. Between them they led me to this story of a magicianly Doctor doing detective work and getting involved with affairs of state during the Blitz, and to provide him with his very own sorcerous Moriarty.

FL: Who would be your ideal casting for a pre-Hartnell Doctor?

PPH: The other authors have given most of the good answers already – Margaret Rutherford, Alec Guinness, Waris Hussein or Verity Lambert, Peter Cushing – so I’ll say either Boris Karloff or a young Mary Morris, depending on taste.

FL: What other projects are you working on at present?

PPH: I’ve got a short story and a novel for Sherlock Holmes in the works; plus another Holmes novel partly written, with a more unusual premise, that I’m trying to persuade someone to publish. I’m editing the next batch of Black Archives, of course, and writing our book on the Jodie Whittaker story The Haunting of Villa Diodati, which is due out in December 2021. And I have further ideas for original novels that I really need to devote more of my time to. One of them’s got vampires in.

[brucebai]

The mystery of work-life balance

The mystery of work-life balance http://ift.tt/2tN8pym

This was first published on my mailing list The Looking Glass. Every week, I answer a reader’s question.

Photo by James Cridland

How can I achieve work-life balance?

My office has a culture of being “always on”, where people will send e-mails at all hours expecting a response. I care about our company and want to advance my career, but I also enjoy doing other things, and want to spend evenings and weekends with my husband and friends. Also, I want to have kids soon, but I already feel guilty that I’m not working hard enough. How can I achieve work-life balance and not get too stressed out?

This felt like an appropriate question for this week, as I’m writing this from a plane flying to Paris. My husband and I have been dreaming of spending time in Europe for an extended vacation, but we’ve never managed to make it happen. Now that we have two kids, the idea of bonding as a family and creating memories together feels even more important, so we’re pulling the trigger. For the next five weeks, we’ll be together with our two kids and my parents visiting Paris, Ireland, Barcelona, and Switzerland. Wish us luck!

Your situation sounds so familiar, and is a common challenge especially in Silicon Valley. Work-life balance is a struggle at every stage in one’s career. Whether you’re just starting out in your first job and want to prove yourself, or you’ve taken on more responsibility and need to follow through, there never seems to be enough hours in the day. In my first few years out of college, I’d regularly stay at the office until past two or three am eating junky snacks at my desk instead of proper meals. I’d barely respond to messages from my friends, let alone see them. Of course this turned out to be unsustainable and unsatisfying, and in the years since I’ve built up some tactics for getting to better work-life balance:

Realize it’s all in your head: Everyone’s work environment is different, so if you happen to be in a particularly intense workplace where you’re being explicitly told to work at all hours, that’s rough. Most enlightened employers realize that success is a long journey, won over years of dedication, not a few intense all-nighters. As a result, even in my most unbalanced times, most of the pressure was internal. It’s mainly my own expectations that drove me to think, “I need to respond to this e-mail right now” even when now was Saturday evening at 9pm. Realizing this was self-imposed freed me up to take control of the situation.

Set clear boundaries: The first step is setting clear boundaries with yourself and sticking to them. For me, that self-agreement is often “I’m leaving the office at 6pm, and will only do one hour of work from 9pm to 10.” Make your boundaries clear to your co-workers as well. Discuss this openly with your manager to ensure you have her or his support, and take into account any concerns. There may need to be exceptions to your boundaries, and emergencies can always happen, but it’s good to be explicit about what these situations are, e.g. the site is down, tomorrow is launch day, a teammate needs you to unblock them, etc… That way, you can have a framework for how to decide that something requires your immediate attention. Then, in all other cases, it’s like texting in a movie theater: it can wait!

Set clear, realistic goals: The concept of “balance” implies there are competing forces, each pulling in different directions. However, if you don’t actually know what you’re trying to accomplish, both professionally and personally, then it’s easy to fall into the trap of working all the time. After all, if you have no way of knowing when you’ve “achieved your goal”, then work can be an endless treadmill of tasks. Similarly, if you haven’t set goals around your personal interests or relationships, it’s easy to neglect them, as they might feel less necessary than work. Make a conscious decision around how you want to spend your life with the limited time you have, balancing what would make you feel successful in work and what you’d find personally enriching. For me, vacations, friends, and eating well fill me up, so I take at least one weekend trip every month and plan ahead to see friends often for dinner at some new restaurant we’re excited to check out.

Minimize distractions: Since you don’t plan to work 24/7, you’ll need to be efficient in the hours you do spend working. The stress from work-life imbalance comes when you aren’t spending your time the way you want. I block out my day at work explicitly, with goals for every 30-minute chunk, and then I do everything in my power to stay focused. When you’re home, actually be fully at home. For me, I use a different computer so I can focus on writing, photo editing, or other personal tasks where I don’t need to be on VPN or have my e-mail one cmd-tab away. Sure, my phone can still ping me, but a quick glance will reveal if any messages qualify as an “exception” that requires my response — they usually don’t. When I really want to give myself the best chance of focusing, I turn off notifications or go on airplane mode. And for goodness sake, please don’t look at your phone while you’re out with friends — that’s not the point.

Prioritize quality over quantity in all things: What can you do with a few hours or a day that would be truly memorable? My husband and I will often throw at each other “life’s too short to watch anything you don’t truly love” which means we’ve watched the first episode of dozens of shows, but actually only followed through on a tiny handful (Game of Thrones, Sherlock, Death Note). We call each other out when one of us seems to be stuck in an Internet click spiral. With my children, I try to find new experiences that we can enjoy together. If it’s between going to a playground we’ve gone to before or traveling to a new playground, we’ll usually opt for the latter.

Get all the help you can: Since you mentioned starting a family, the main advice I can offer here is getting help. Having a partner who is a true partner, family nearby who can share the load, and a fully loaded spectrum of friends/daycare/nanny/baby-sitting/backup options to call upon when work or life pulls you away is hugely important. You don’t have to do it all yourself, and you don’t have to be perfect. Admitting that I needed help and training myself to ask for it was the most valuable lesson I learned in my first year as a parent.

Get enough sleep: Recognizing that stress is all in your head, you need to treat your head right. For me, that means getting enough sleep. I want to preface this by saying that I am the worst at going to sleep on time. For years, I’d set an 11:00pm bedtime and promptly blow through it every single night, fueled by some mysterious reservoir of late-night energy, even when I promised myself that tomorrow would be different. About six months ago, I made a breakthrough by going kindergarten-style with a star chart on my closet wall tracking whether I’ve put my head on the pillow each night by 11pm. It’s made me much better about bedtime (although in the spirit of transparency I must admit that I’ve slipped in the past month.) When I manage to get a full eight hours of sleep, I feel much better equipped to handle my day and whatever little hurdles pop up in front of me.

Take time to look back: I can tell when I’m slipping into a state of imbalance when I look back at the past month and I have trouble recalling what I did. I don’t want to just go through the motions of getting through the day, the week, or the month. Instead, I want to make memories and appreciate them. One of the ways I’ve found to best do that is through writing and journaling, as well as taking lots of photos and videos. I write about what I’m learning with my kids every month. I keep a private journal called “Life Memories” that I imagine our family reading a decade into the future. My friends know me as “the paparazzi” in all our outings because of how many photos I take. I love looking back and cherishing past events, and looking back also motivates me to plan my coming year and get the most out of it. Like spending five weeks in Europe :-)

To ask a question or follow along weekly with more Q&As like this, subscribe to The Looking Glass mailing list.

The mystery of work-life balance was originally published in The Year of the Looking Glass on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

BruceFav Bloggers via FB Designer Julie Zhuo on Medium http://ift.tt/2bdAnHn July 5, 2017 at 12:24AM

[eardefenders]

Sherlock & Co - Mailbag Episode 2 Transcript

00:00-00:30 Intro Music

00:27-00:34 *Sounds of a violin playing fade in*

00:34 Sherlock: You see? You see what I mean?

00:37 John: I…don’t.

00:39 Sherlock: Listen! *scoffs* Listen, closely this time. Shh. *resumes playing the bit from the fade in*

00:43 John: Argh. *pause* For God’s sake.

*Sherlock keeps playing*

00:46 John: Sherlock, please mate. We’ve got questions to get through here.

*Sherlock keeps playing*

00:52 John: Maaaate. Matey, mate mate mate mate.

00:55 Sherlock: Did you hear it this time?

00:57 John: Yeah. Sure. Uhh, right. So let’s dive into the discord chat. The brand spanking new discord for Sherlock and Co members. Brimming with Stamfords, Irregulars, and Diogene-sohmy God. There’s thousands of messages. Um, right. Should probably been keeping tabs on those questions. All right I’m going to scroll up and pick one f-from um the sssixteenth of January. Here we go! Come on down…IdleVice! Uh, your question is, “If you could make a Spotify playlist for each other of your own favorite songs, what would some of the highlights be and would you be willing to share the playlists with us. Ooh hoohoho. Uuuhhm. I don’t know if I’d ever get around to actually, y’know, putting the playlist together, as, as such, but what I-I would get Sherlock to listen to. Ummm mmmm probably Elbow? Elbow are a band from the north of England. Uh, Salford I think. But they have, uh, a few strings sort of. I-I don’t know what it’s called-but, elements that involve violins. Um, and all that jazz. Heh. Uh well not jazz! Uh, literally, not jazz. Uh, yeah, Sherlock, what about me?

02:07 Sherlock: Hm?

02:08 John: If you could make a playlist of songs for me what would it be?

02:12 Sherlock: I probably would never do that, Watson.

02:16 John: Okay. Uh, could you expand on that?

02:19 Sherlock: It’s a task that I wouldn’t find that fulfil-Vivaldi.

02:23 John: Uhh, right. Vivaldi. Yep. Anything else pop into mind?

02:29 Sherlock: Pop.

02:31 John: Pop? Is that-what’s that?

02:33 Sherlock: It’s a genre of music.

02:35 John: Uh, right, you’d make a pop playlist for me?

02:38 Sherlock: I’d probably enlist Mrs. Hudson to do that.

02:41 John: Fair enough. And why pop?

02:43 Sherlock: Because it’s an abbreviation for ‘popular music’.

02:45 John: No, I know that.

02:47 Sherlock: You like popular culture, therefore pop music could very well be your cup of green tea.

02:54 John: It’s, it’s just cup of tea. Bu-uh-uh, well, okay, uh, thank you for that. Uh, back to the discord dudes and dudettes. Um, not that I was implying any kind of masculine energy to the use of the word dudes. Dudes will remain, uh, um, an-an-an-androgynous here. My…dudes. Bit like the word mate! I do throw it around. Ummm. Some people just think it’s for blokes. Don’t know why. Uh, anyway. Here we go. Leaf-onk, layff, layfonk? I hope I’m saying that right. Uh, Leif-Leif*onk* asks, ‘Has Sherlock ever hit a vape?”

03:28 Sherlock: Yes.

03:29 John: Lovely. They’d also like to know the flavor.

03:31 Sherlock: Menthol.

03:32 John: D-do you want to expand?

03:35 Sherlock: Mm, not really.

03:37 John: Did you like it?

03:38 Sherlock: It was satisfactory, I suppose.

03:41 John: *sighs* Another thrilling q and a session with the master detective. Here we go! Number one archie fan-He-he-heeyyy! Archie! Found your number one fan mate. Heh. Think they also go by potpourri. Not sure. Don’t really know how discord works because I was born in 1989. Anyway! Number one Archie fan asks, do you have a favorite classical piece? Or a favorite composer, perhaps?

04:05 Sherlock: Mozart, generally. Can often be tied to my mood. What about Vivaldi? You said Vivaldi earlier?

04:12 Sherlock: That was a recommendation to you.

04:14 John: But not you?

04:14 Sherlock: Definitely not.

04:16 John: Great.

04:17 Sherlock: Uh, Mozart, Bach, Tchaikovsky. But I am often driven by whatever phase I feel I’m in.

04:23 John: And we’re in a Mozart phase now, are we?

04:26 Sherlock: We are indeed.

04:27 John: Fab. Right, uh, Reeonk asks-ohkay, ok, I see what you’re doing now. Cause of. Cause of Jonk. Okahaha. Let’s all laugh at Jonk-John, I mean.

04:40 Sherlock: *laughs*

04:41 John (affectionately): Oh, ge-Shut up, you big idiot.

04:44 Sherlock: *still laughing*

04:45 John (affectionately annoyed): Shut it. Ha. Uhhhh, we’ll cut that bit. I swear to God. Right! Reonk, who I think also goes by Perfo, if I click here. But yes, as I was saying, millennial at the wheel. Sorry. Reonk’s first question, “Hey John, if you were an animal, what animal would you be?” Uhhhum, *clicks tongue* look, I’ve got to be something airborne. Um, uh I’m sorry, but I have to. Y-y-you can’t have the chance to fly and turn it down, so, uh, I’m a bird.

05:09 Sherlock: Or a bug.

05:10 John: S-s-sorry?

05:11 Sherlock: Bugs. Insects. They’re airborne. Hm, as is some bacteria.

05:16 John: Great, yeah. Let me just decide between a gnat and a germ.

05:19 Sherlock: By all means. Take your time.

05:21 John: I’m being sarcastic. I’m not a bug and I’m not bloody…germs. I’m. *sighs* I mean it’s too much pressure being an eagle, isn’t it. Um, *clicks tongue three times* I don’t want to be something that’s crap at flying, like a swan or a goose or something. Shoutout to Heather, by the way. Ehhh, aw come on John, come on John. Um. Ooo! Tell you what. Now this is going to sound stupid, but if it was my brain in the animal-

05:47 Sherlock: Yes, this is going to sound stupid.

05:49 John: Shh-sh-shh. Yes, if it was me. In the animal. I’m going pigeon.

05:54 Sherlock: Pigeon?

05:55 John: Pigeon. Ehh? Right, listen, ok. I can still live in the city. I cou-I could even live in my room, really.

06:01 Sherlock: You absolutely cannot.

06:03 John: What? Why not?

06:04 Sherlock: I’m not flatsharing with a bloody pigeon, Watson.

06:06 John: It’s me.

06:07 Sherlock: Yes, in the body of a pigeon.

06:09 John: Listen, let me finish my point. I’m a pigeon. I’ve got my room. I can fly about London, y’know? See all the sites, dive bomb some tourists, do a little poo on the House of Commons. I could nick a bit of decent grub. Yeah, go on walks with Archie and Mariana in the park. And no one is the wiser. If I was an eagle or a, y’know, like an albatross, I couldn’t do that, could I? No? It’d be great flying across town, even take the tube. Saw a pigeon on the tube the other day.

06:39 Sherlock: Yes, you said. Twice.

06:41 John: I could look through people’s windows, you know go in their gardens, on their patios….That makes me sound creepy, doesn’t it? Ah, pigeon! *clears his throat* The answer is pigeon. Second question, “What kitchen appliance would you be?” *clicks tongue twice and sucks air in thorough his teeth* Hm. Not being a microwave. No way, don’t get cleaned enough and, uh, having curries and bloody pizzas blowing up inside me, geezus. Uh, fridge. Maybe. Mmm, but I’d see a lot of rotting food, wouldn’t I? Especially if people are away for a while. Probably go with something fun, y’know something where I come out of the pantry or the, y’know, the cupboard or whatever, and all the family go ‘yaayyy, heyhey here he is!’-Wafflemaker, I’d be a wafflemaker. Everyone loves waffles. No one’s getting board of me. I’m getting cleaned. Perfect. Pigeon and a wafflemaker. Ha! That’s not a bad name for our band, eh Sherlock?

07:32 Sherlock: We’re not making a band.

07:33 John: Yeahhh, it was a joke. Right! It’s biscuit time! Saren says ‘Question for Sherlock: What kind of biscuits are, in your opinion, the best?

07:42: *sound of someone walking away*

07:43 John: Uhh, what’re you doing?

07:44 Sherlock: Answering the question.

07:44 John: Well, that would involve sitting down and talking into the mic.

07:48 Sherlock *sound of papers*: Here.

07:49 John: This…is an essay….on biscuits.

07:52 Sherlock: Yes.

07:54 John: By you.

07:55 Sherlock: Yes.

07:56 John: Okay.

07:58 Sherlock: Well, read it. My findings are in there.

08:01 John: Whaaa…it’s thirty-nine pages long.

08:03 Sherlock: Indeed.

08:04 John: Thi-this is supposed to be a snappy question and answer segment. Y’know it’s supposed to be a patreon reward, not a bloody punishment. *sarcastically* ‘Aww thanks for giving six quid everybody, here’s an eleven hour lecture on biscuits.’

08:15 Sherlock: They asked the question.

08:16 John: Right, ok. So, uh, he was eating a lot of custard creams the other day. Um, for those of you who aren’t British, uh, a custard cream is, uh, a sort of sandwich structured biscuit, wouldn’t’cha say?

08:26 Sherlock: Correct. Yes. A sandwich in structure. Two light shortbread pieces acting as the bread. Often stamped with a Victorian inspired Baroque design. And the filling was once a buttercream, but now is a custard flavored cream based on vanilla custard. Not egg custard.

08:43 John: Right, yeah. It’s, it’s that. Um, they’re nice. They are nice. Very moreish. Um, Ellionk, or Ellie, I think, when they’re not ‘Onk’ified, want’s to know ‘Favorite Supermarket: Tesco or Sainsbury’s?’ Um, well, both have gone downhill in recent years, I have to say. So, I’m going to go for neither and say co-op. Yeah, cause every now and again you find a really really good one. But if I’m in fantasy land, it’s M&S Foods or Waitrose. *clicks tongue* Yeah. Uh, there’s a chemistry question here from Ranger Pip which I don’t even begin to understand, so I’m going to move on. Sorry, Ranger Pip.

09:18 John (cont.): Right, last one! ‘Question for possibly John or Sherlock, not sure, lol. What is the story behind the theme tune. Just have to say whoever composed it, the musicians need an award and a shoutout on the podcast.’ Uh, yeah, well it’s a great theme tune, isn’t it? It really is. It’s called ‘Mad Prodigy’. *clears his throat pointedly*

09:39 Sherlock: Why are you making that noise?

09:41 John: Ah well, just saying mate.

09:43 Sherlock: I’m not mad. Or a prodigy.

09:46 John: Hey, uh, I-I’m not saying anything. Um, yeah, it’s it’s by a guy called Jody Jenkins. Uhhh, the reason why I don’t release it like some people asked me to is because it’s owned by a royalty free site. Um, *clicks tongue* the reason why Jody Jenkins doesn’t release it, is the same reason. I-it’s owned by a royalty free site. Uh, that’s generally how they work. I-I pay a fee. Well. Goalhanger pay a fee, use the track, and it belongs too…yeah. Audio Network. Um, I think he’s fab, yeah. But as far as crediting him out loud on the podcast, um, some artists don’t want royalty free work assigned to them. Um, they just do it for a paycheck. Some do. I don’t know him obviously and of course, I-I could piss off the company that actually owns the audio if I just mention him and uh, not-

10:34: *phone vibrates*

10:36 John: Message from Mariana. ‘You’re waffling. These people are paying us their hard earned money.’ Right! Soundproofing in these old houses aren’t what they used to be, are they? Um, *clicks tongue* yeah that’s the reason songwise. Nothing for or against Jody Jenkins. I’m just playing it safe cause these things s-scare me. *chuckles* Corporations and blech, yeah. Uh, horrible stuff.

10:54: *phone vibrates*

10:55 John: Um, message from Mariana. Right, yeah, I’m gonna wrap this up. Uh, thanks for your questions my lovely friends, we’ll be back soon. And, now to play us out, the one and only, Sherlock Holmes.

11:08 Sherlock: What?

11:08 John: Play! Play a song!

11:10 Sherlock *pleased*: Oh. Excellent! Uh, okay. Here we go!

11:14: *violin playing starts up*

11:17 John: Bye bye guys!

11:32: *sherlock’s violin playing cuts into Mad Prodigy

11:32-12:02 *Mad Prodigy carries us out to the end*