#shelbyxreader

[goingsllightlymad]

Blinded By Your Light - Part 2. On Departing.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: Y/N is the definition of ordinary. Studying at a medical school as far as she can get from her rainy hometown of Birmingham, she never expected to be shipped off the Flanders when the war was at it’s peak. Much less to meet a handsome young patient with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she had seen in her life who as fate would have it would fall into her lap.

Word Count: 6782 (this is the second part of the first chapter but it was getting way too long and I want us all to just pretend that I’m productive and have written two chapters instead of one so I split it. Sue me for it, see what happens.)  

Warnings: I really just wanted to see how many of my favourite Classic British sweets I could include in one chapter without making it at all plot-relevant. 

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And so it was that the days became weeks, and the weeks melted into an endless mass of sitting beside him and smiling more than you ever had before, and watching his smile slowly become wider and more genuine, like candy to your restless lips. Through the cracks in your stony walls, this stark routine of bed-changing and wound-dressing had slipped inside, filling your mind with thoughts and dreams of paradise, or spending time beside him not as nurse and patient but as something so much more. Perhaps even as friends.

And all the while the days grew darker, the war ending in the midst of all this winter gloom as you lay with him late into the night, the radio playing quietly under the blankets and the two of you grinning like fools, and then all of a sudden it was lighter and warmer, Christmas passing by his side (you'd both promised not to get each other anything, but somehow when the morning came around you had both broken that promise, you sneaking him in an old pocket watch that you had found at a curiosity shop in the village and a music box which played the national anthem when you turned the handle round and round, and him finding somewhere, though you knew better than to ask where, a silvery silk scarf and a tiny golden locket, blurred slightly around the edges and engraved with a series of numbers so small you could barely make them out, and when you asked about them he gave you a subtle smile and brought a finger up to his lips), and then new year's day, and all of a sudden January was over and another icy February was drawing in, grey and rainy and exactly like all the millions that had come before it and, but for the man in the bed beside you whom you were trying so hard to convince yourself meant nothing more than this to you, it was as though things had never changed at all.

But my, how things had changed.

You woke and he was the first thought of your mind, your reverie in waking and the way your steps would lead you as soon as breakfast was finished with. Laundry in arms, you changed his bed and stayed a little while, chatting mindlessly as the morning slipped away to who knew where. Lunch, and then you were back to dress the injuries that had long since worn away to stretched skin and silvery scars. You knew he tried not to look at them - when his eyes roamed and caught the traced lines on his arms and legs he flinched and froze, your touch tearing his gaze away but not before a hundred million thoughts could flood into his mind that you both knew he would never say out loud. If you didn't know him better, you might say he looked better too. True, his eyes were brighter now, and his hands were soft and steady and his skin was clean, but deep inside you knew that you could find that same tattered black soul that had plagued your dreams before.

"You're here." he greeted you, the same way every morning, not turning to look or moving at all, just the way he had at first and still you weren't quite used to it.

"Good morning to you too, Mr Shelby." you sighed laughingly, setting down the basket of bed-linen on his bedside table and setting to work on lifting him out of the bed. You were beginning to suspect that, should you ask, he could probably climb out and run around by himself, but you had to admit that you weren't quite ready to relinquish the last shred of touch that you had felt since you had been sent here, false and desperate as it may be. But then again, these days it was getting more and more difficult to tell what was false and what was real, and a more foolish girl than you might say that none of it was false at all. There were days when you couldn't help but wonder.

"Tommy." you dropped him heavily on the replacement bed in mock exasperation, "Tell me about England."

"England? Why, I thought you lived there." you bundled up the bed-covers, folding them and draping them over the edge of the bed and trying to ignore the hot burn of Tommy's gaze on your arse as you bent over the bed.

"Your England. Where'd'ya live? What'd'ya come out here for?"

"Well for one thing, I never chose to come out here. Just happened, I s'pose. One minute you're still at university in the middle of bloody nowhere, working three part time jobs seven days a week, next thing you know you're being questioned by a bed-bound British soldier. Funny how life works." you grumbled, and he raised his eyebrows at your outburst. You supposed it all might be true. Yes, you had been a lot less than happy to be shipped off without warning, but since then you didn't really have much time to be really upset about it. And by the time the hospital had calmed enough and you had had time to yourself - real time, not just snatching seconds between the jobs and pretending you were happy with just that - he was here and you were with him, and there was nothing you could say about it other than that, fill diary pages as you might with all the things you always wished you could have said that day.

"Is that really what I am?" Would that I could tell you what you really are, Tommy Shelby. Would that you would listen.

"You are bed-bound and British and a soldier, aren't you?" you teased, and you tried not to look him in the eye as you lied through your teeth to save face.

"Just thought you might be thinking of me as your guardian angel." he huffed, and you bit back a laugh as he pretended to turn away from you.

"Let's not forget who's in the bed here."

"Okay, point taken. I'll just shut my mouth then, shall I?"

"That is not what I said at all."

"Oh?" he seemed amused, glancing up at you expectantly, and you tried desperately not to blush.

"Shut it, Shelby." you shoved him lightly and he feigned injury, groaning loud enough to turn the heads of a few of the nurses at the nearby beds, "Don't go giving yourself airs just because you're my favourite patient."

"Oh I'm your favourite patient, am I?" your blush only grew at that, pooling over your cheeks and the bridge of your nose and setting fire to every nerve ending in your upper body. He seemed to have that effect on you a lot (and you tried not to think too much about the times when he awakened the nerves in your lower body).

"Would that you weren't. But you're my shining star here." as soon as it had come out of your mouth, you instantly regretted it. Shining star? It was 1918 for god's sake, no one said that! It was so childish you were seriously considering launching yourself out of the window next to you, deciding that here, on the second floor of the hospital, the distance would be enough to break at least your neck.

"That's a new one, I'll grant you that. Never been called a shining star before." you lifted his back off the bed and propped him up with pillows against the railings at its head so that he was sitting upright, you moving to sit on the mattress in front of him.

"Hey show some gratitude mate, you're the doomed Brit the new nurse brought in and kissed back to life. You and I are the talk of the ward." you grinned, lifting his night-shirt off to reveal the wide strip of bandage wounded around his chest. Looking around him, he could clearly see the curious faces of a handful of idle nurses, congregated around the laundry table at the edge of the ward and muttering visibly at you both. You were right, by the looks of things the two of you were the talk of the town, and Tommy had to fight the way his heart leapt at the thought. Who would have thought that Tommy Shelby would go so soft?

"You planning on giving me that kiss of life now or later?" he smirked down at you, you kneeling before him and peeling the fabric off his chest to take a closer look at what was now the last reminder that all of this was real at all. There was a day when you looked down at his body and the blood had gone away, and it had scared you to think that all of this would fade so fast, back into the body of God himself, and that one day there would be a day when he would look at himself in the mirror and none of it would be there before him and neither would you, and that day was coming around faster than you would have liked.

He leaned in teasingly as though to press your lips together, and though you could tell by the smile on his face that he would not go all the way, your heart stopped all the same, aching to be closer, begging and screaming to touch him, to taste him, to love him.

"Quiet, you! You'll give them all ideas." you whispered against his lips, scolding him but on your face there was no trace of anger.

And your face was quite unreadable, Tommy scanning every inch of skin and lips and tired eyes for some kind of sign of what on earth you could be feeling, filling the gap between you with a tension that neither of you quite dared to break. He could swear he could see softness in there, swimming in the deep (y/e/c) of those eyes, a sweetness that made him want to kiss you here and now, damned be those other nurses waiting in their front-row seats, waiting for what could only be the show of a lifetime. He wanted all at once to see you as you truly were, the way you woke up, for he had seen you asleep in that chair by his bedside enough times to know that you were tired, of war and work and life in general, much as you would not have let him see it if you had known. He longed to see you anywhere but here and the frontline and grey and rainy Birmingham, those three dark corners he knew and another he could run to where surely the world may be a little brighter because wasn't anywhere brighter than here? He longed to take you with him, and he longed to run away so badly that he thought his head might split in two if he didn't tell you so right now, and he thought that of all the devils he thought he had known, the draft and the tunnels and all the agonising pain, that this might be the sweetest torture the war had brought to him, for he could never tell you, never have you, never be good enough to have you. Thomas Shelby was not soft, but Tommy Shelby was getting softer and you knew it, and it was more than Tommy could ever fear.

"Love, you give me ideas all the time." he forced his smirk and tried to ignore the way your hand traced the spiderweb of scars criss-crossing over his chest, a spiderweb and he was at the centre, the dark and beautiful spider.

"You're a right pervert too, that's what you are. I'll tell you something else. You're my fittest patient. One foot out the door already, you are." you pushed him away, trying (unsuccessfully) to stifle your raucous laughter by pressing a hand against your mouth where only a moment ago his lips really should have been.

But all too soon your laughter died away, and his smile with it, and in its place the silence crept in to fill the void. It was heavy and it was awkward, with a blueish sadness that you had been trying to avoid for far too long. There was no way you could keep him here all to yourself - it was as you had said, he already had one foot out of the door. You should applaud him, you should celebrate, you should tell him he was lucky and he should tell you you were skilled, but in this moment all you could think to do was try to hold him as he slipped away beneath you into the world you didn't want to face yet. The war was nearly over and everyone knew it; it was only a matter of time before he would grow anxious to get home. You were clinging to him, and he was already gone.

"I should hope not." he was shocked at his own earnesty, the way he didn't doubt it for a minute. He really did hope not. "Wouldn't want to rob you of all your fun, now would I?". Joking now, he let out a deep breath, and you reached over him to the bedside table to retrieve the roll of bandaging.

"Oh I'd simply never forgive you."

"Then let's just keep me forever. Tell 'em all I'm dying." he murmured into your ear as you returned to sitting in front of him, and you laughed a little at that. It was hard to hide a healthy man in the middle of a hospital, especially now that the hospital was quieter, nearly all of the tunnelling casualties long since gone away. You often wondered if Tommy should have been gone by now, and always very quickly regretted the thought. It stung you to your heart, staying there for a long time afterwards like a poisoned dart, try as you might to shake the thought.

But now you were smiling and he was whispering into your ear and the thought was gone as soon as it had arrived inside your head, insidious as the creeping cold that was drawing into the early-October air. Now he was here, and his breath was warm down your neck and you wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and draw him in closer and taste the harsh hospital soap on his skin, and instead you drew away, looking at him tenderly and if there was a line then the two of you had crossed it a long time ago.

"You were. And now, you're not."

"You're my angel of life." he teased and yes, he knew deep down that there was no other word for it. You had taken him from the river half-dead, wishing to have done with the other half and cut ties entirely, praying to let go and run where no one could ever find him again, and now he was here and he knew that there was nothing he could say to you but those three words and he could never say that either. You had saved his life, but then again you saved his life again and again, with every morning that you walked into his ward.

"Don't really think that that's a thing, sweetheart." you bit back a giggle at him and the silly smile that had tangled up your heartbeat deep inside your chest.

"Didn't you just hear me say that you were it?"

"That's... that's not how it works?"

"You're an angel. My angel. Brought me back to life, didn't yer?" he cupped your cheeks in his large hands and stared up at you with those wide blue eyes that had you falling over yourself and blushing like an idiot.

"Perhaps. But I think you're a lot more hardy than you let on. And a lot softer, too." you rested your hand over his, holding it to your cheeks and meeting his gaze.

"Perhaps. But that's just for you to know, isn't it." and with that he leaned in closer to rest his forehead against yours, lips brushing and always an impossible universe apart.

"Careful or I'll think I might be special." Please. Tell me how special I am, Tommy fucking Shelby. Tell me you adore me or I think I might explode. Tell me this is worth it. Tell me I'm not just imagining all of this. Tell me you feel it. Tell me, oh tell me, tell me you love me and I'll never ask for more.

"Whoever told you that you weren't? Think I ought'ta pay someone a visit, eh?"

"You wouldn't dare, Thomas Shelby."

"Love it when you take control." when he chuckled you felt it hot against your lips and you wished you could shut him up here and now, with all the ward to watch as you did so. Their eyes, jealous probably of the beautiful man against your chest, burnt holes into your back and you sighed deeply. Much as you wanted to give in and say fuck it, you knew that this job had to take precedence. This was all you had, if they could see they'd fire you, and all this would be for nothing. It was the most important thing you knew that they could never never see you two.

"And I love it when you shut up and let me work." you laughed weakly, extricating yourself from him and dipping your head to tie the bandages as you were meant to do. The crowd of nurses dispersed behind you, trickling back through the doors to the other wards were doubtless there would be another nurse to stare at. Their venom knew no bounds, their eyes no limits, and you were struck once more with the coldness and cruelty that seemed to follow you everywhere in this hellish place.

"Didn't know I bugged you so much, love." he gasped as you tugged the bandage tighter, throwing out a hand to grip your hip and you prayed he couldn't feel your heart leap up into your throat. It didn't take a genius to see that he had you exactly where he wanted to, and he could see it in the dark scarlet blush on your face. You lowered your head, leaning back into him as the rest of the ward fell once more into an electric silence.

"You bug my every waking thought, Tommy." you smiled, but what had been a sweet afterthought had somehow become something so much more sincere, and you weren't even sure if that was a mistake or another slip of the tongue as your heart spilled out in the spaces between the words.

"Wouldn't want it any other way." he ran his fingertips over the side of your face, tracing your cheekbones and the tired skin beneath your eyes. For how can one sleep when all the sky is exploding in a glorious technicolour alive with the eyes of the boy asleep only walls along? "Like to know you love me." he traced your lips, and all the nerves were set alight in anticipation. It took all the strength within you to keep from melting into his hands.

"Oh do I?" I'll follow you until all the stars have left the sky and walk beside you wherever you will have me, just tell me that I may and words will have no meaning in the world besides what I can sing to you to make you fall asleep beside me. Tell me I am yours and I will watch the world implode around us and I will never say a word because we are all we need and the world has never been so kind to me as the thought of you that rouses me each morning. Love me, love me, know that I love you.

"Was hoping you did." he smiled, but his smile was faltering, and for a moment there was something in his eyes that scared you to no end, because here he was, and here you were, and Tommy Shelby the Unbreakable Man was fucking terrified.

"I do, I do, you know I do." he reached up with his other hand to bring your lips to his and you pulled away, the footsteps clattering in the corridor a stark reminder that you could not stay. People were coming, and you knew they couldn't ever see you like this. "I need to go. Tommy, let me leave or I'll stay here forever and ever." you leapt up from the bed, Tommy almost falling forward as he tried to pull you back by the hand. You cupped his face, looking deep into his eyes one last time with a sad sigh.

"Is that so bad?" he implored, his eyes pleading, a world away from the confident, controlled Tommy Shelby that you knew. He squeezed your hand in his, and you knew that it would be like losing yourself entirely to try and part your entwined souls.

"Positively scandalous." you murmured hurriedly, and you could hear the nurses' voices echoing in the corridor, drawing ever closer as you hastened to move away, your heart breaking into a million places.

"Call on me tomorrow." it wasn't a question, and it wasn't a command, just a statement of what the two of you and all the world could know. You would call on him tomorrow and the day after and the day after that, and forever and ever until there were no days and he was not here at all. You came every day, regular as the sun rising and the tides flowing and all those other forces of nature which could not love the time and the world quite so much as you loved him.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." you whispered, for him to hear and him alone, then gathered up his bandages and ran off down the ward into the harsh white light of the nurses' chambers as the sound of the nurses and matrons filled the air behind you.

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Alone in your chamber that night, you wept upon your window-sill, your tears dripping out of the window onto the branches of the sycamore trees below. Leaves already fallen to the ground, their skeletons stretched out before you in the graveyard of an orchard, and you know that somewhere below you, your tears would water the barren soils of some freshly-made grave. You wondered what life he had lead, you wondered had he loved, and what had come of love for him. You wondered if his heart had broken once or twice before it stopped entirely in this Barzakh of man, and you cried for him as he lay, already dead, far beneath the ground and the shifting sea of brown-black leaves that shone softly in the moonlight.

There was a sort of ethereal beauty in the moonlight that made you wish that Tommy could stand and walk to you, and sit and watch beside you. Unspeaking, unthinking, unfeeling, just the silence of the darkness and the knowledge that he was here, and you thought that that might be all you ever needed in this world and the next - the knowledge that he was here beside you, and that he was not going anywhere.

You fell asleep sitting on the windowsill, your arms wrapped around your knees as you huddled up against the cold, and as with every night that came before and every night that would ever leave you cold again, your last thought was of him.

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But you couldn't see him the next morning. On waking, you were met with the cursory glance of the matron, and the news which sent you almost falling to your knees. It was almost an hour after breakfast that you could finally bring yourself to make the rounds of the wards, and to find your way as always back to his bed in a hurricane of grief and fear.

"Took your time. Almost thought you were gonna leave me here, all on my own." he smirked, and you could have cried at that.

"Could I ever? Brought you a little something, by way of an apology." you dug around in his pockets and brought out a small, crumpled paper bag, and in it the sticky barley sugars that you had been hiding in your spare pillow case since you had bought them for him three days before, waiting for the time to give them to him but now there was no time and you both could see that something was horribly wrong.

He made to protest and you pressed the bag into his hands insistently, wringing your hands awkwardly as you tried not to meet his gaze, sure that if you did you would start crying and never be able to stop. Seeing the emotion that was playing upon your face, he unwrapped a barley sugar and, cupping your jaw in one hand, brought it up to your open mouth and placed it on the tip of your tongue delicately, pressing your mouth shut as the overly-sugary taste exploded over your tongue, sickeningly sweet and yet another reminder that none of this could last. On your lips the taste of the sweet was already turning sour, as the bliss of these last months were already beginning to give away to the worry that was pooling in your stomach, worry that things would never be quite so good as this, that now was the last of all the best days and all the months that would follow would only leave you colder still, and lonelier for want of his bright light.

"Something wrong?" he brought your hand up to his lips, kissing it lightly and pulling you down to sit beside him on the bed. At that, your walls broke down entirely, and you slumped against his chest, your face burying into your hands. "Hey, angel, what's goin' on?" he sounded genuinely panicked, and it only hurt all the more.

"Tommy they're - you're-" it was all you could do to not cry, and the words stuck in your throat like a hundred barley sugars were clogging up the air within your lungs and stopping you from breathing. How could you breathe when you were away from him? You prayed that you wouldn't have to find out, and your prayers were met with the icy silence of the early February morning.

"Shh, love take your time. 'M not goin' anywhere." he soothed, rocking you slightly against him and rubbing circles on your back with his great, trembling hands, and you clutched him to you with fistfuls of his stiff white nightshirt.

"But you- you are. They told me to tell you." you wiped your eyes with one hand and looked up at him through the tears which were already forming again in an endless torrent that spilled down your cheeks, and smiled. "You're better."

"That's... that's wonderful." he shook his head in disbelief, grinning, and pressing a kiss to your forehead and staying there, close to you, but his face fell as he turned to look at you again, met with the overwhelming sadness on your face.

"You're going home." you murmured, closing your eyes so he couldn't see the surge of emotion that was crushing your heart, and breathing in the sweet soapy smell of his skin as though in this one moment you could paint him into your mind for the rest of your hopeless eternity alone.

"Oh." his voice was flat and sad, and you wondered if you'd broken him at last, and he looked away from you, turning his head up to the high hospital ceiling, raining curses at some god he'd never known till this moment, blinking back the tears he would do anything to keep from you.

"Tommy, promise me- promise me you'll write, okay?" your voice was feeble, pathetically so, and it dipped and broke as your heart stopped and started again with every broken breath rattled out of your lungs.

"I'll write everyday if it meant I could hear a single word from you." he whispered, running his shaky fingers through your hair and breathing in the sweet scent of your perfume and the chamomile soap that they made in the little pharmacist's down the street that you had told him about.

"I need to go and- and sort out your papers, else you'll never be able to go." you joked, but the laugh that followed it up came out more as a strangled cry, a breathless scream into the darkness that he was bound to leave behind him as he went away "Tommy, promise me."

"I promise. I promise." how was he supposed to leave you when all his life had been grey until now, until the glorious watercolour can bleeding in through the canvas structures he had built his life upon. How was he supposed to leave you now, knowing that nothing would ever be quite as good as they were when you were here, nor quite so kind as in those early mornings when it was just you and him alone and he could swear that your punishing God had turned his face away.

"I l- I love- I-" but somewhere between the tears and the time that stretched before you when he would not be here, the words caught and tangled as you tried to push them out, and you wanted to scream in helpless frustration but your voice had wasted away to a hoarse whisper, thick with sadness.

"Shh, you don't need to. I know... I know." he pulled you in ever closer, resting his chin on the top of your head and closing his eyes against the tears that pressed against the backs of his eyes. And yes, he knew, because how could you not? After everything, after every night you'd sat up in the chair beside his bed, when you thought he couldn't see you but he could, he could every time, and he loved you a little more for every time he saw you there. How could you not love him, for all those times he'd held you a little too close and thought maybe you would push away but you never did and there was nothing in his life that made him feel quite so clean, quite so forgiven, as that he could touch you and have you not flinch, look at you and you never look away, never tell him he was wrong, never see the monster he was no more, he prayed he was no more because you could never love a monster and how could you not love him?

When at last he pulled away to kiss you softly on the forehead you were still and quiet, your breaths ragged and uneven, slipping through slightly-parted lips, and he knew that you had been asleep for quite some time. Laying you down on the bed and moving to stand shakily, your hand, still gripping his shirt, clenched and pulled him back again, and he laughed bitterly into the silence of the ward, softly so not to wake you as he lay back against you.

He couldn't sleep - how could he when the hours were stealing away beneath him and soon he would have to leave. How was he supposed to find you when you were half a world away and slipping farther, and how could he not try? He knew that, futile as he already knew all his plans would be, for nothing ever seemed to work out to plan for Tommy Shelby, he would search the world for you, he would give the world just to find you again in some happier time, to make you his when all he was was not a lonely little man in a hospital bed somewhere he didn't belong at all. He would find you, he would find you, there was no other way.

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You walked him to the train station early the next morning, in the cold light of a purplish dawn that you had watched oncoming all night, sitting awake on the windowsill of your chamber where you could be first to see the cruel sun awaken in the east. As if in those few moments where it was just you and whatever God there may be out there you could push the sun back down to rest, cry for one more day and have your prayers be answered like no one else's had been in the grim wasteland of these godless years.

The walk was short - too short, you barely had time to say goodbye, much less to let him know that he was and always would be the first thought you had when you woke up and the last before you fell asleep, the final dream of your fevered soul and the only truth you had ever known for sure. But as it was it was just as well, for you only had half an hour's leave from the hospital. The hospital, damn the hospital, and damn the whole bloody war with it. That men were born to fight and die was the cruellest fate you could imagine, and yet somehow in all this hatred you had caught a glimpse, if only for a moment as the world around you burned, of what you couldn't call by another name because it was the truest of things - that you had found there love, or something of that kind.

You could hardly remember a word that he said on the way there, and it would not have made much difference if you could, for he was desperate to say something, anything, to fill the silence that had come between you as you slept, unguarded, in his arms. He had not slept, but lay and felt your chest rising and falling against his own, hours that seemed a short eternity and he missed every one he wasted thinking about you when he would soon be gone for good.

And now there was no putting it off any longer - the train was drawing in in a wheezing cloud of smoke that wrapped around you and bound your very souls together, and you stepped in closer to clasp his hands in yours, scanning his impossibly blue eyes for some kind of sign that he could hear your silent prayer, that he would not leave you here. It was as though all the world you knew was going with you, and you had no idea where to start picking up the pieces to begin again anew.

"I suppose this is where we say goodbye, isn't it." you coughed awkwardly, breaking the silence and shifting from foot to foot as you broke your gaze and looked away over his shoulder, up at the sky, across to the run-down platform cafe, anywhere but at him.

"Don't say that. There are going to be a whole lot more chances to say goodbye to me yet, love, you just gotta find me first." he stroked your cheeks, smiling weakly and looking all the world but happy to go.

"Tommy, don't-" you dropped your head down to memorise every button, every smudge and stitch and crease in his smart new uniform, a leaving gift from the hospital that you had no doubt was straight off a dead body, the blood barely cleaned of it before it was relabelled and shipped off somewhere else. At least he was alive, you thought, and as long as he was alive you would search for him forever. Still it was strange to see him in uniform, and in the upper pocket you caught the subtle gleam of sunlight on the pocket-watch you had bought for him in some happier time that seemed a lifetime from now. This was how all the best fairytales ended, and so much the better for it.

"I'm serious. I mean it, I mean it, you know I mean it. I'm going to find you." he whispered, kissing your forehead and holding you to him.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Hurry though. I don't know how much of this I can take without you." you were desperate, begging and bargaining over sand grains in an hourglass, and you knew that all his words would come to nothing because there was nothing he could say that would stop the flow of heartless fate. You had read to him sometimes, in those endless rainy days when there was nothing to do but sit around and think of death and beautiful symmetry of all untimely things.

"Days, it'll be days. I'll have you beside me sooner than you know." he looked up at the last few people making their way onto the train, knowing that any minute now he would have to pull away. You caught him looking, and followed his line of sight with a shaky sigh. So this was how it ended, this crazy whirlwind love affair that wasn't even that, just two sorry, broken fools who had somehow become something so much more than human.

"Go." you forced it out, the word sticking in your mouth and burning through your every vein like poison in your bloodstream, "I'll be here when you're back. I'll be here forever."

You held his hand as he gave the ticket to the train warden, letting go and turning away to gasp through the tears that choked you, blurred your vision.

"(Y/N)!" he called from behind you, and you spun quickly, searching wildly for his face among the crowds of young men packed into the train car. He waved, pushing his way to the window and opening it so that he stood face to face with you, you on the platform and he on the train and the people in the train and on the platform standing kissing and crying and you thought you might be crying and you knew you should be kissing him and god did you just want to kiss him because you might never have the chance again.

So you reached out to run a finger down the sharp line of his jaw, closing your eyes and leaning in until at last you felt the soft pressure as your lips met his. You thought perhaps it might have made it all go away - the war and the hospital and the dreadful thought that he would soon be gone forever - but all it did was make it all okay, and in a way it was all so much worse. You would be okay because he was here, but what would you do when he was gone, and you pulled him closer, kissed him harder, sucking the life from his lifeless lungs, pulling the darkness from his soul and cleansing by your love the bleakness in his mind. All things in mind, it probably wasn't the best kiss he'd ever had. All tear-stained cheeks and teeth colliding, the taste of cigarettes and toffee pennies and rhubarb and custard drops on his lips as he held you against him across the sharp line of the train window that cut into your ribs. You could feel the smoke from the train burning into your lungs, the shrill scream of the whistle carrying him away, and the wheels whirring as the train made to start away.

With a sharp jolt it lurched forwards and you pulled away quickly, lips missing the sanctity of his sweet kisses, you kissed him once more, and again as the train began to move, stood away to watch him go then began to run after him, chasing the train car as it swept away along the platform with the broken memories of the winter passed and unreturning.

"Tommy!" you screamed, and he leaned out of the window, watching you as you sprinted wildly on and on in the vain and hopeless prayer for one last glimpse of that beauty you feared that you would miss forever. And beside you the train cars swept away. And sooner still you reached the end, and the platform was no longer before you, falling away beneath your feet and sending you reeling back to keep your balance as you knew that you could go no further. Falling forward to your knees in sobs that shook you now that he was not here to hold you up this time, you forced yourself to glance up through the hazy mist of tears as, already in the distance far beneath the bridge, the train wound out of sight.

Taglist

@actorinfluence @captivatedbycillianmurphy @stressedandbandobessed7771

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Too Sweet *Tommy ShelbyxReader

Summary: Modern AU Tommy’s not a fan of Halloween but you change his mind a few times over your relationship. 

Happy Halloween!!!

            It was quite funny that you met Tommy at a Halloween party. Especially since you learned early on in your conversation with him that he wasn’t a fan of the holiday. And although he didn’t tell you that night, he was damned glad his roommates got him to go out. Because if he’d stayed in like he planned, he never would’ve gotten to meet you.

         You were dressed as Princess Leia, complete with the space buns and everything when you caught his eye. The party was at a mutual friend’s flat, a typical Uni get together where the music was loud and the drinks were strong.

         Tommy made his way over to you and greeted you by the kitchen. You hadn’t remembered meeting him before and you were sure you would’ve remembered such beautiful blue eyes.

         “What’re you supposed to be?” You asked over the music.

         Tommy looked down at his plain clothes. His friends tried to get him to put on a football jersey to complete their team costume but he turned them down. “Erm, I’m a background character…in any movie, you can think of. Except Star Wars, I guess. Don’t think I’d really fit in on that set.”

         The response made you laugh and you were smitten. The entire night you two lingered close to each other, hardly ever finding an awkward lull in the conversation. Once people began to leave, you invited Tommy back to your flat. But what you found there was something deeper than just a Halloween one-night stand. There was something more. The way he looked into your eyes was hard to ignore.

         So, the next morning, November 1st, you decided to cuddle in bed with him. From then on, you were entangled with each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         And even though Halloweens were sort of like an anniversary for you both, Tommy abhorred the whole ‘couple costume’ thing. You managed to get him a few times in your relationship. One time you dressed up as the night sky and all he had to do was put on a NASA t-shirt. Another year, you managed to get him to go as James Bond but all he did was wear a suit he usually wore to work anyway. In any case, it gave you an excuse to go as a Bond girl.

         After you were married, Halloween quieted down quite a bit. You weren’t invited to the same crazy parties anymore, instead, going to some mellow block parties if you were both in the mood. But once you got a place of your own together, you cooed at all the cute children who came around trick or treating. Telling Tommy to come see how adorable the neighborhood kids were dressed up like zoo animals. Or oh, doesn’t Amy’s little girl look so precious as a chef? And wasn’t Frankie just a darling in the butterfly costume?

         The signs were obvious enough. You were baby crazy. Even if it spooked Tommy a little, he decided it was a relevant conversation as you’d been married going on three years. So, you both had that chat and shortly thereafter, your son was born.

~~~~~~~~~

         “Tommy!” You squealed from downstairs. “Come quick!”

         Your husband hurried downstairs. “What’s going on?”

         “Look at him!”

         He came into the living room and found his son dolled up in a little sock monkey onesie. Despite his indifference for Halloween, even Tommy couldn’t deny that it was the cutest damn thing he’d ever seen. He let out a laugh and knelt down in front of your son. “What’s mum done to you, aye? She turn you into a monkey?”

         Your son giggled and reached for Tommy. “Mummm.” He babbled happily.

         “C’mere you. Cutest looking kid on the block, I’ll bet.” Tommy kissed his son’s cheek and scooped him up.

         “Oh, if only I could get you to dress up too.” You sighed and pulled out your phone to take more pictures. “I guess I’ll have to settle.”

         Tommy sighed and rolled his eyes. “Maybe next year.” He gave in.

         “Yay! Oh I’ll have to start planning. We can all three go as something clever…I’ll have to look up some ideas.”

         Tommy winced. “Sorry, mate, I think next year’s gonna be rough for us.”

Masterlist 

[frauleinalcantara]

listen before i go ( Jonh Shelby x Reader )

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: 𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 (𝑌 / 𝑁) 𝑇𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑎𝑡 𝑆ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑏𝑦 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑦, 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑏𝑜ℎ𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝐽𝑜ℎ𝑛 𝑆ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑏𝑦.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 2,390

Birmingham, 2019.

Public transportation moved slightly by making (S/N) sit quickly in his seat so that it would not fall embarrassingly and funny. After settling in place, he stuck his hand in his purse and tried to pick up his cell phone, unlocked him and sent a direct and blunt message to his sister:

"On standby I already apologize, I had to leave early for the interview, enjoy the coffee.

I love you.

An involuntary sigh escaped from his lips, while his fingers touched: Send message.

It was three months since you moved to central Birmingham, where your sister lived just over a year ago after getting a scholarship at the University of the City, meanwhile you finished school and was recommended by the services you provided at Sparkhill library to work as a secretary at a beverage production company and exporter. You couldn't deny that at first you thought about giving up such an idea, because it was a strong change, going from a public library to a liquor company. But you can't deny that you needed the money to pay for your studies and help your sister with the expenses of home, you had to accept.

The phone ring made her stand out a little bit of the seat, looking sideways in search of some fun look that saw the scene, you picked up the device and visualized the screen:

“Melanie”

A young woman approached and sat next to her, she looked at her quickly and wished her: Good morning, you smiled without your teeth and wished the same. However, your worried eyes returned to the screen of the phone that flashed alarmingly, you slid your index finger on the screen answering it.

"Finally,  " began to creak his teeth.

— Melanie  —  (Y/N) sighed  , I am almost in Small Heath and...

"Great, when you get there, go to the station and take the first train here! — screamed in response, the girl next door seemed to have noticed the discussion on her cell phone, because her eyes left the book resting on her lap and spied in singing, the fingers of (S\N) rubbing in the scarf involuntarily and nervously  — Do not rush into their decisions, see, wait a little longer and inform the agency that the job they suggested does not match your profile and experiences

"Mel,  I love her, and I appreciate the concern — the  voice has failed behind the right words for persuasion —But   I don't want you to burden the expenses of the house, plus I want to start my college soon, I need the money—A    defeated sigh might be heard on the other side of the line, while a delicate smile sprouted in the corner of the young woman's lip (S\N).

"If nothing works out there in Small Heath, we'll look for something right here, all right?

"Yes, closed—    hummed (S/N), pulling your fingers away from the scarf.

" And try to come back early, avoid busy streets...

(S/N) hung up the phone quickly because she knew Melanie's warnings would last for hours if she thought it was necessary and remembered everything. However, in relation to the moment he got on the bus and there, close to arriving at his destination, a twinge of confidence appeared in some part of his body that drove out the butterflies that dwelled there.

A touch made her look quickly to the side, finding certain blue eyes.

"I apologize for listening to your conversation—   the woman began by closing the book and sticking it in the bag, (S/N) readily recognized it: Communist Manifesto, Marx and Engels.

"Imagine, I apologize, I've got in the way of reading with the conversation...

"My boyfriend gave it to me as a gift while I had asked for a trip, so I'm desetting that reading as much. But I couldn't let it slip that you're after a job.

(Y/N) shook with his head.

"In fact, I've been referred by the college in partnership with the employment agency, it's like a project, you know?

"Of course, my boyfriend participates in an association in Small Heath, we like to engage in these social initiatives —  commented interested and turning a little to observe her better  —  It's thought-provoking, because you don't overload yourself at work and can afford school.

"And you still have experience as an advantage! —  smiled (Y/N), The woman's gaze jumped out the window and she rose in a simple way.

"What's your name? "asked  her.

“(Y/N) Turner “ responded even though he did not understand the woman's sudden interest.

"Well, my name is Ada Shelby—   presented himself simply —(S/N), give me your number so we can keep in touch, if it doesn't work out your job, I can fix something for you in the association.  

(Y/N) stood up quickly, getting a confused look from Ada.

"Are you going to get down on this? Well, I'm going to owe you, too.

"Where would this company be interviewed?

You searched for a card inside your pocket and spread your eyes in an attempt to read the name, because you had forgotten your glasses and only at that moment that you needed them had noticed oblivion:

" Shelby Company LTDA  —  answered (S/N) and noticed the woman's upset feature  —  Ada, do you know this company?

Ada took a deep breath and continued:

"It is the business of my brothers, (S/N)  —  clarified indicating to the card "The distillery and export. Come on, let's get down before we get over our point ".

The woman headed to the transport doors and went down with all her convinced golden, while (S/N) simply jumped anyway on the sidewalk and staggered with Shelby.

                               ━━━━━━━━━//━━━━━━━━

The façade of the firm was presentable, nothing very luxurious, however maintaining the appearance of a serious business and that grew every day.

"But of course they wouldn't accept, he never cared about  us — she  muttered as if it were obvious, she looked at her as if she had said a secret and after tried to disguise it —Well, I'm guiding you, (Y/N) because I admired your stance on helping your sister, and besides, I'm afraid of certain attitudes from my brothers, so be yourself and be calm, Thomas reads people as if they were books.

You didn't contain a nervous smile that sprouted in the corner of your mouth, and Ada mimicked the gesture.

"I thank you for the support and slight confidence, for I am an unknown — you lifted the clock and it was about saying goodbye to Ada who mentioned that he would stay there for some time, for he had affairs to deal with an aunt.

The sound of your heels made an annoying noise in front of the room in which you had to cross to get to the office of Thomas Shelby, the head of the company. Faced with all the curious male looks that stopped for an instant their works, their gaze urgently sought a female figure in front of all those laughter, parallel conversations and some men even drank. Finally, as a light at the end of the tunnel you spotted a slender and elegant woman carrying some folders in the middle of all that euphoria as if it were something normal in everyday life.

"Excuse me, I'm (Y/N) Turner, the college employment agency referred me to an interview here at this  company —explained  by showing the card and some papers the woman looked closely at.

She lifted her gaze and let out a soft smile.

"I am Lizzie Stark, I am The Secretary of Mr. Shelby — she  dared not shake hands, for she held the folders —Apparently, you are the last to be interviewed, Thomas spent the morning in the office attending everyone who also came for the job, God knows how much he hates getting stuck in the room.

She said in a tone that she turned herself in so that it looked like the two were more than boss and secretary.

"I understand how tiring it must  be,"  he replied (Y/N) in an attempt to respond to all that short outburst, in a positive way and not just as a nod- to a nod —  So do I announce myself or do you need to do that?

Lizzie looked at her with a certain kind of sympathy and surprise.

"I could let her go and see Thomas' face when he saw you breaking into his office, but you're too cool for that, Miss Turner, accompany me —she  put the pile of briefcases on the table of a young man sitting stripped, looking at the chaos of the place as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"What the hell are you doing, Lizzie? - the boy was unworthy to stand up promptly and turn his attention to (S/N) who felt uncomfortable in front of the scene.

"Either you do something here, Finn or I tell Tommy to put him to work in the Association of Ada and Freddie.

(Y/N) stirred a little while listening to Ada's name, and this Finn grumbled bravely and picked up the briefcases.

"Don't fuck, it's just crazy  there —he turned around taking one last look at (Y/N) who bothered the boy's attitude by offending the association in which Ada, had said he faithfully engaged with her boyfriend.

Lizzie touched her and asked me to follow her to Thomas Shelby's office. At each step the heart of (S/N) accelerated more and more, remembering Ada's comments about man and his personality.

The woman touched the door twice and opened the door quietly, she made a sign that (S/N) would wait a moment, and the girl obeyed her adjusting her outfit once again, she possessed a lock of her hair behind her ear, while carrying a basic makeup, with a simple outline and a soft gloss on her lips, which contrasted perfectly with the white high collar blouse under the black blazer and the pants of the same color. (Y/N) had worked hard to look serious and determined with that appearance , but deep down the feeling of millions of butterflies breaking into her stomach, returned more intensely when Lizzie made a signal for her to enter the office.

The young woman breathed calmly, while the woman gave her a space and smiled openly, (S/N) only broke eye contact with the same that conveyed comfort to her only with a smile, when she visualized the room, the most intimate place in that whole company. The room had a powerful and elegant look, the curious look of young Turner landed on the man leaning against the huge desk crammed with papers.

He carried sharp blue eyes and a rigid posture.

— (Y/N) Turner, this is one of Shelby Company LTDA's top owners, Thomas Shelby      — presented Lizzie with a satisfied tone.

You smiled in respect and approached the man in calm footsteps. He deflected the look from (Y/N) to Lizzie.

"Thank you, Lizzie. You can leave us  now— the  voice sounded authoritarian and at the same time kind. The woman obeyed promptly, and the light door knock could be heard.  

The young woman firmly shook the man's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Shelby, "he  just nodded and pointed his head to the leather-coated chair.

"Do you accept anything, Miss Turner? Water, whiskey...— he  could visualize his frightened look and snuff, you suspected it to be a laugh, a serious man like him would deprive himself of laughter in the face of a situation like that with a young woman —Sometimes I forget that I'm dealing with young people.

"Thank you, Mr. Shelby... but I'm fine  —  he stuttered (Y/N) and mentally hated it, a simple answer and her anxiety spoiled her.

He served himself as whiskey and soon turned the dose with a single sip. He walked a little and sat in his armchair, his fingers strolled through his eyelids and he breathed a long breath.

"All right, Miss Turner, how did you find out my business? —  asked by raising his arm towards him, opening his hand and expecting something you suspected to be his resume. His agile hands flew into the briefcase, taking the paper out of there and landing it in the man's impatient hand, he sought his round glasses and read it.

" As stated in the curriculum and you must be aware, there is a project that the employment agency and the college carry out for young people who stand out in some way. They enjoyed my service at Sparkhill's library and they forwarded me here after my studies were completed. I did some research on his empire — (Y/N)   highlighted fun and noticed the man's considerate look at it.

"Sincerely, tell me, would you dedicate yourself here at the Shelby Company?

Persuasion, (Y/N)! But how to persuade a man who was in control of the conversation?

"Just as I dedicated myself to the library, I would do the same here, sir, even more so because I will finally make money — (Y/N) laughed nervously by observing man's immutable expression — Anh...As I said, I will do everything in my power to see the well-being of those to whom I work and contribute positively to the growth of the company.

He watched her another moment and turned his gaze to the curriculum, Ada's words returned strongly to her head. He was comparing the physical (Y/N) and the (Y/N) curriculum.

After a moment, he took off his glasses and stood up walking to the young woman, handing him the resume.

"Your references are acceptable, and by far you are the one that seems most fit for that  position "—you  couldn't help but let a small smile out.

He scolded her with a look.

"But don't be happy, Turner. I'm hiring you, because you're the only one who stood out and I can't stand anyone else here flattering me ".

"Thank you, Mr. Shelby.

"You're still going to have to make a lot of progress, so far it's just," he said at the end,  "Tomorrow  you can start, ask Lizzie for guidance that she'll tell you what to do.

"I promise not to disappoint you, sir," exclaimed once again leaving the room with a victorious smile.

[themind-on-paper]

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Prompt: “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” &  “Why do you keep pushing me away?” &  “I can’t quit you, no matter how hard I try.”

Warnings: none

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

A/N.: I just combined 3 requests together…. They are basically the same thing. Hope it’s okay…. 

It was one of those days. Everyone around you just kept telling you that Tommy was bad, that you should stop seeing him and they are just counting the day’s something happens to you. It was hard dating one of the Shelby by itself and these days made it even harder. 

You entered your house and walked towards the kitchen. Tommy was sitting at the table looking out of the window with a glass of scotch in his hand. 

“Hi..” You said placing your jacket over a chair. Tommy looked at you and you saw the open wounds on his face. “What happened?” You asked walking towards him and looking closely at his face. 

“It’s nothing,” he said taking your hands in his. “Don’t worry. I’m okay.” He said looking you in the eyes. 

“Tommy, you’re not okay. Look at your face.” You walked away from him to get a wet towel to clean up his wounds. You walked towards him and began cleaning up his wounds. You went as soft and slow as possible. He was in pain, he tried to hide it but you could see it in the expression of his face. 

A few days passed by since Tommy’s face was wounded. Since then there was fear in you. The talk of people around was getting into your head. You passed the Shelby’s Bar, John was standing outside smoking.

He looked at you. You eminently looked down. 

“Ý/N?” You heard John’s voice from the other side of the street. “Wait up.”

You looked towards him, he walked towards you, a cigarette in his hand. 

“Hey John.,” you said when he was close enough to hear. He gives you a hug. 

“So how are you doing?” John said. “Tommy said you were pretty busy with work.”

“Yeah..” You said looking down at the ground. 

“I will walk you home,” John said walking next to you. 

“So how are the kids?” You asked 

“They’re fine…”John said. He continued to talk about his children. It was nice to see him talk about them. You saw a smile on his face… 

The two of you reached your street. You looked towards your house and you saw Tommy waiting at your door. 

“You will be safe, I will see you around,” John says walking away. 

You watched him walk away. You turn you’ve looked towards your door again. Tommy still didn’t saw you. He was sitting on the stairs in front of your door, looking at the ground in front of him. You knew the look on his face far too well.

“Tommy?” you said just a few inches from him. 

He looked up towards you.  A smile grew on his face. “Hey….” He stood up and pecked your lips. 

You walked into the house. Tommy following you behind. You made your way to the kitchen. Tommy seat right away at one of the chairs and was looking towards you. 

“Tommy, what’s wrong?” You asked him worried. 

“Y/N, I need you to listen to me..” He said with a serious tone. 

“Tommy, you’re scaring me. What happened?” You said walking towards the chair next to him. you sat down and looked towards him. 

“What are people saying about me now on the streets?” He asked. 

“They keep telling me you’re the bad guy and that I need to end this and walk far away from you and your family.” You said looking at him. This was nothing new. He knew this, we had this conversation many times. 

“That’s why I need you to do something for me…” He said looking into your eyes. He was scaring you. “I need you to stay away from me. I need you to look the other way when you see me on the streets.”

“What?” Did he really just said that. “Why?”

“I’m going to expand business and it’s going to get dangerous and I… I want you to stay away from me when this is going to happen.” He said. His face showed no emotion. You got a tear falling down your cheek. “and I just lost interest.” He said looking down. 

“Why do you keep pushing me away, Tommy?” His face still didn’t show any emotion. You looked down, you didn’t want to show him your face. You actually just wanted him to leave. To go away. 

“I’m serious, I can’t do this anymore.” He said. 

“Leave then..” You whispered. 

“Y/N, I…” Tommy said reaching for one of your hands. You got up from the chair and walked away from him. 

“Leave.” You said again pointing to the door. 

Tommy looked at you one more time, his hand growing through his hair. “I’m sorry,” He said walking out of the room. 

A month passed by and you did as you were told by Tommy. You left his life but it was getting hard to walk down the streets. People were always talking about you, about you and Tommy. It wasn’t easy seeing him with someone new every night. 

You walked into the house, your mind already made up. You walked towards your bedroom and started packing. You put everything you had in a bag and walked out of your door. You closed the door and stared at the building in front of you. It would be the last time you would stand here again. You were going to start a new life far away from the Shelby’s. Far away from Tommy. 

You walked down the stairs and made your way towards the Shelby pub. You need to give the keys back to the landlord and knowing him he was already drinking. John was standing outside the pub. He looked at you but you did as you didn’t know him. You walked in. You looked around. You saw Tommy sitting at a table with a girl on his lap. You looked down and you hold your bag ticker with your hands. You looked back up and saw your landlord a few table next to Tommy’s. You walked towards him, not looking around just focusing on the men in front of you. 

You reached the table. “Here you go.” You said to him handing him the keys and the last month’s rent.  You could feel eyes burning on your back. 

“Thank you Y/N” He said standing up from the table. “Good luck in London.” 

You gave him a smile and you walked out of the pub, the fast you could. 

Tommy’s POV

It’s been a month since you saw her. The pub door opened and you saw her stand there scanning the room. She had a bag in her hand. You met her eyes and in that exact moment, she looked down. It took her a few seconds before she looked up again. She was scanning the room again till she starts walking towards a table. She walks towards Freddy’s table. She holds up her hand with keys and money. After a few chance of words she gave him a smile and walked out of the door. 

You stood up making the girl on your lap almost fall to the ground. You looked towards her but you didn’t say anything. You walked towards Freddy’s table. He looked towards you with a smirk on his face. 

“She brought her keys back.” He said taking a sip of the beer in front of him. “Before you ask, she is going to take the train to London.”

No No this can’t be happening. 

“She’s done here Tommy,” Freddy said standing up from his table and walking away towards the bar.

Y/N’s POV

There you were, waiting for the train. A tear falling down your cheek. You couldn’t believe this was real. You loved it here but it wasn’t what it was anymore. Every time you looked around it hurt you. 

You rested your face in your hands. Tears falling on the ground.

“Y/N?” You heard. You looked up towards the voice when you saw Tommy standing there looking at you with a cigaret in his hand. You didn’t say anything you looked down again. Trying to calm yourself down. 

In the corner of your eyes, you saw him sit down next to you. You felt his hand on your back. You took a deep breath and looked up again. You stare in front of you.

“Y/N, I can’t do this anymore,” Tommy said

“Can’t do what?” You said angrily towards him. 

He placed his hand on yours. You shook his hands away. 

“I can’t just ignore you. I miss you.” you stood up from your seat and walked away. You couldn’t do this. He can’t have a girl on his lap one minute and then say he missed you the other. You shook your head walking away. 

Your arm was grabbed. You looked towards Tommy. He had his hand around your arm. “Y/N, please just listen to me.” 

You pulled your arm back and looked at him. 

“I know you’re angry at me but I didn’t know what else to do,” Tommy said going with one hand through his hair. “I just want you to be safe and that meant letting you go, then that was what you should do.”He said looking down. “But well I can’t.” He said looking up towards you. “I tried to forget you by sleeping around but It didn’t work It even made it worse.”

“Tommy, you hurt me. How do you think I feel.” You said angrily, everything you been bottle up was going to get out now. “You dumped me without any reason. Every time I walked outside I saw you with someone else around your arm or I heard someone talk about it. I..” 

“I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t bear being the reason you got hurt.” He said. 

“Why are you doing here then?” You said still angry.

“I can’t quit you, no matter how hard I try.” Your expression softness at his words. Tommy continued “Y/N I can’t live without you.” He pulled you closer towards him and kissed you. You wanted to resist him but you missed him. 

[zodiyack]

Phantom Of The Opera

Requested by anon: Just wanna say that you're my favorite writer on Tumblr! ❤️ I have a strange request. Could you make one Thomas ShelbyxReader based on The Phantom of the Opera? The reader performs in a fancy theater and a man, the theater's ghost, is obsessed with her. And the Peaky Blinders have to wait for the performance to catch him 'cause he's a freaking ghost (Point of No Return scene) I don't know if you ever watched The Phantom of the Opera, but I can send you another message with more info if you want

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x reader

Warnings: Swearing, mention of stalking, smoking and alcohol, fluff, angst, mention of murder(?), slightly straying? idk man

Note: I’ve never seen the movie, so I’m not gonna be completely accurate, but it’s not supposed to be EXACTLY the movie, so I guess that’s okay? I hope you guys like it! Also.. don’t mind the singing parts... 😅 

so basically, it’s like the movie but there are MAJOR differences... oops

Special addition to the note!: I had some help!! Thank you so much @jenepleurepasbaby​ for the ideas as well as information from the movie, I can’t thank you enough!

Word count: 3,000+

Taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy, @stydia-4-ever, @matth1w, @redspaceace, @jenepleurepasbaby, @simonsbluee

masterlist | peaky blinders masterlist

She adjusted her hair as the director dismissed everyone. Their practice was now cut short, dark coming closer and closer. Arthur was her ride, yet he lie asleep, and possibly drunk, in one of the seats. Y/n sighed, grabbing bunches of her large white dress. Her friends bid her goodnight as they walked out of the building, leaving Y/n and her lover’s unconscious brother alone and in silence.

Y/n was unsure of her part. Although they just practiced, she felt the need to go over a bit more. Arthur managed to sleep through the entire rehearsal, so who’s to say he wouldn’t sleep through her singing? She would need to wake him up anyway. So she sang, went over her parts, fell into the melody.

That was, until she heard it.

Until she heard him.

The rough organ, the voice. They clicked into her brain, her voice slipping and dropping silent. It took her by surprise. Though she stopped, the voice kept singing. He sounded beautiful, elegant, more perfect for the singing role of her on stage lover than the singing partner selected for said role was.

“Sir?” No response came to Y/n, but the man continued singing. She looked around, checking on Arthur in his intoxicated yet peaceful state, and then starting her mission. She wished to find the voice, so she followed it.

The louder it got, the bigger the pit in her stomach grew. It was a pit of nothing but fear and worry. She didn’t have Tommy with her, and Arthur was asleep, she knew she would need to be careful. Her hand wandered down to her side. Under the thick fabric of her gown, holster from Polly made specifically to hide on her garter clips, was a small gun.

A breath she didn’t realize she was holding released itself from her mouth, relief at the feeling of the cold metal. She hoped she would have no need to use it, but it was good to be cautious.

His singing was now echoing through the hall, signing his presence. Y/n turned and gasped slightly out of shock. She let her eyes study the figure in front of her, the white mask that donned the side of his face, his slicked back hair, the way his voice sounded...

It was almost like his voice was magic. Her eyes gleamed with an entranced look, like she wasn’t fully there.

His free hand reached for hers and before she could top herself, she slipped her palm into his. He stopped singing, leading her through the theater to wherever he was to take her. She couldn’t stop herself, it was hard enough to even thinking in her own voice with his angelic voice.

Now that she heard him in person, she realized she’d heard him many times before. She’d heard him in her dreams, the same voice haunting her, no matter it’s beauty. He called for her, summoning her to a place she had no knowledge of. 

The stories of the theater dubbed him the Phantom of the Opera, the ghost who would kill those who refused to do his bidding. 

“Reminds me of a certain family.” She remembered telling the story to Tommy and the other Peaky Blinders, referencing their work with teasing smile.

His voice summoned her ever since the first performance she’d ever done at this very theater, a man standing on the rafters and observing her rather intensely. However, she was not the one to spot him that time, instead a backstage worker. He pointed out the man, but Arthur assumed he was just drunk and told Y/n to just ignore it.

Oh how wrong he was.

The half-masked man seemed to have such a power, casting a spell on her and removing logic from her mind. Her face lit up by the torch in his hand as he led her down a staircase. A horse waited down

“Sing once again with me, our strange duet. My power over you, grows stronger yet.” He lifted her onto the horse and guided the dark steed down a ramp-like walkway. “And though you turn from me, to glance behind, the Phantom of the Opera, is there inside your mind.”

He helped Y/n off the horse, held her hand as he helped her into the small row boat. He rowed through the water, closer and closer to his lair. She didn’t know why, but she felt the urge to join in. Was it his spell? Making her feel this way?

“Those who have seen your face, draw back in fear.” It was definitely him. She couldn’t think of a time she’d ever sing something like this, aside from her performances. “I am the mask you wear,”

“It’s my voice they hear.” He continued to sing as she transferred to the operatic vocalizing. The masked Phantom encouraged her, stopping his song and listening to her breathtaking voice. “Sing, my angel of music!”

“Sing my angel...Sing for me!” She grew louder the closer they got, the grate lifting and allowing them entry to his underground lair. “Sing my angel! Sing for me!!” Y/n hit her final high note, cutting herself off as they came to a stop. The candles, which had risen from the foggy waters, were just now being processed with mild confusion. The events prior to her arrival in his hideaway were catching up to her, equally as mysterious.

“Listen my dear. Can you hear that?”

“Hear what?” The Phantom held her hand, helping her out of the boat.

“The organ, of course. I’ve played it for you, in hopes that you’d listen and find your way to me. And that, you did.”

“You were... playing it... for me?” Y/n raised her eyebrows curiously. He nodded, walking over and playing a few notes to the song she had been rehearsing before she wounded up in his secret home. “W-Why?”

“What better way to prove my love for you?”

Her mind gave itself a slap to the face, returning herself to full consciousness, the hypnotic state the Phantom had her in was nowhere to be found. “Excuse me?”

“Is there a problem? I’m simply stating my admiration for you. My undying heart, it beats only for you, and your marvelous voice. That man, the one who sent the other with you, he has no love for you. His heart holds no care nor affection for you. Alas, that is one thing he and I do not have in common.” The Phantom’s lips curled into a smile, a child-like innocence that could’ve tricked Y/n’s back into her trance.

But it didn’t. She pushed him away from her, making sure to not be too rough. “Why!? Why would you say such a thing!? You trick me into following you, just to reveal you wanted to rid me of my lover?”

“No, not just that-”

“Have you lost your mind?! I’m sorry, I can’t. It was a pleasure meeting you, dear Phantom, but I’m afraid I simply cannot except any offers you have. Your love is flattering, but my heart belongs to the one who actually does love me back.” Her hands gripped her dress again, pulling it up enough for her to move back to the row boat.

However, she couldn’t make it to the small boat on time. He grabbed her arm and yanked her towards him, forcing her to face him. “Please, Y/n, just let me prov-”

“How do you know my name?” A silence split between the two. He didn’t answer her question. She looked up at him slowly, curiosity overtaking her. He was distracted, unaware, it as the perfect time to strike. She reached for his mask, snatching it, but being pushed to the ground before she could see his face.

He growled, covering the side with his hand, screaming insults at her as she remained on the ground with wide eyes. She was too shocked to move. The push managed to take the breath from her lungs, resulting in small coughs when she tried to stand up.

“I- I’m sorry.” She reached for his cheek, the action startling him. He stumbled backwards, he reached forwards slowly when she held out his mask, ripping it from her hands. “Please, could you take me back to the theater?”

He didn’t respond. His own way of saying no.

“I’ll... um... I’ll be going then.”

He didn’t stop her. He wanted to, but he didn’t. Besides, she had a performance coming up, did she not?

. . .

“Y/n has called a family meeting!” Arthur stomped over to his chair, sitting and crossing his arms as he waited for the rest of his family.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“No, Pol, I’m fine...”

Arthur groaned and rolled his eyes. “Yesterday. Theater. Stalker. Tell them, Y/n.”

The family’s eyes shifted from Y/n to Arthur, then back to Y/n after he finished his sentence. “Fine. There was...a man... Um... Remember the ‘drunken man’ from my first performance?”

Everyone nodded. Esme stepped in, receiving a short glance from John, “What happened? Did your stalker try to kill you or something?”

“No no no, he wouldn’t do that.” The calmed family turned to Y/n with concern and confusion. Y/n looked at each one of them, anticipating their reactions. More specifically, Tommy’s. Jealousy and anger surged throughout his body, and somehow, everyone could tell. Jumping out of her chair, she walked over to him and pecked his lips reassuringly, “No, I’m not in love with him, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Alright alright, Tommy, stop being jealous, Y/n, we must be getting back to the point. Please explain what this meeting is for?”

“Ah yes,” She sat back down. “He um... well he took me somewhere. It was like..under the theater? I sang with him... he called me his ‘angel of music’, and he said my name...”

“What else did he do?” Tommy’s jaw clenched.

“He wouldn’t take me back, so I went back myself. He um... well he did do um.. something...”

Arthur slammed his cup onto the table, standing up quickly, ignoring the wide eyed glares from Linda and Polly. “Oh get bloody on with it! It’s not like you slept with him or something!”

“Damn it Arthur! Could you please just give her some fucking time!?”

“T-thank you, Pol... but Arthur’s right. The man... he... confessed.”

Lizzie was the one to react first this time. She seemed mentally absent from the conversation until the confession had been mentioned, her jaw dropping and eyes popping. “Confessed what?”

“His love. For- for me. I left at that point. He tried to tell me Tommy didn’t love me, but no words from anyone could ever make me believe that. It felt like he put me into some from of trance until then, which I snapped myself out of once he brought up love.”

Tommy started for the door, gun in hand, but was stopped by Y/n. “Please, just... just leave this be... let the coppers handle it, it’ll be alright.”

“Alright? Alright? All-fucking-right?” the blue eyed man pointed to the door, the veins in his hands were bulging. “Out there is a man who is stalking you, obsessing over you, and possibly targeting me so he can take you. And you’re gonna tell me it’ll be ‘alright’?”

“Tom... to be fair, you are being a little ov-”

“Ada, don’t you dare finish that fucking sentence. Tommy’s right.” If looks could kill, Arthur would be long gone by now. “When it first happened, she asked us to wait until it happened more, then it did. But she still didn’t want us to do anything. This time she had an in-person encounter with the creep, and she wants us to wait for coppers?”

He turned to Y/n, “Arthur’s correct. We waited, just as you asked, and now, it’s extreme. Please...” He returned his gun to it’s holster, taking her face in his hands, “let us deal with this.”

“I-” Her e/c orbs glanced around the room, zooming from person to person before giving in and locking eyes with the man in front of her and relaxing into his touch. “Okay... just, don’t hurt him. He seemed so... alone.”

“We can’t promise anything, but we’ll try our best. We’ll all come to the show, and we’ll be your protection, alright?” She nodded and kissed him back as he pressed his lips to hers softly. “Now, let’s get home.”

“Thank you everyone... I’m sorry about-”

“No.” Y/n’s head snapped up, quirking an eyebrow to Polly’s interruption. “Don’t be sorry. It’s gonna be okay. Get some rest, you have quite a performance to prepare for.” With that, she winked and smiled, waving goodbye to Y/n and Tommy as they exited the Betting Shop. She was right. They had a big day tomorrow, and there was no time for messing around.

. . .

As she sang, her eyes were focused on the audience, darting around in search for her lover and his family. The Peaky Blinders weren’t that hard to miss, but they soon became so when The Phantom entered onto the stage where her partner should’ve. She noticed quite quickly, the difference in vocal ranges, the height and figure differences. She would be lying if she were to say she didn’t feel even the slightest bit of fear.

Their voices danced together, the trance returning to her, her body and mind betraying her. The Phantom walked closer, lust filled his eyes, the trance-like-state forcing the same into hers. Tommy, in his seat, gripped his gun. Patience escaped him, replaced with burning jealousy and rage.

“When will the blood begin to race, the sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames at last, consume us?”

They began towards each other. Arthur nudged Tommy’s shoulder, gesturing to some of the cast peaking from behind the curtain, obviously puzzled with Y/n’s singing partner. All the proof they needed that he was the man they were watching for.

Their voices joined, “Past the point of no return! The final threshold!” Tommy’s hold on his weapon grew tighter as Y/n and The Phantom closed the distance between their bodies. The stranger spun Y/n around and wrapped his arms around her stomach, his hands over hers. “The bridge is crossed, so stand, and watch it burn...”

Like a bull to a red flag, the sight of The Phantom’s wandering right hand traveling up Y/n’s chest and to her neck brought darkness to his eyes. “We've passed the point, of no return...”

Although the song was due to end there, The Phantom had other plans.

Y/n’s eyes opened as The Phantom’s voice continued. She was waking herself up, realizing her state and snapping out of it.

“Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime... Lead me, save me, from my solitude... Say you want me with you, here beside you, anywhere you go, let me go too -  Y/n, That's all I ask of-”

He was interrupted by the screams of the audience. Y/n did what she needed to do. She had pulled the black mask free of his face, revealing to the audience just who he really was. Thomas took the screams as his cue and pulled his gun from it’s holster. He didn’t move, instead, he waited for a sign that would tell him that it was necessary. He preferred Y/n get out of this alive.

She looked to the Phantom with sorry emotion, genuine sympathy and hurt in her e/c orbs. The Phantom returned her reaction. He couldn’t be mad at her, but that wouldn’t stop him from having her.

Out of his peripheral vision, he noticed the coppers racing to the stage, pushing past people. He immediately grabbed hold of Y/n’s waist, as tight as he could, and cut the string to the enormous chandelier.

Tommy jumped up, alerting his family, directing each person to move out of the way. He froze, watching Y/n and The Phantom fall from the bridge, and into the ground. Tommy surged forward, leaning over the railing and screaming in agony, forced to watch the stalker escape through a hole in the ground with the love of his life. Polly, Michael, and Arthur grabbed Tommy, trying to pull him back. Even Pol had tears in her eyes.

It was never meant to go this way.

When did everything go so wrong?

What did they mess up?

. . .

The three brothers found their way through waters, ending up in The Phantom’s lair. Tommy’s eyes widened. Y/n, face covered in tears, mouth shivering, frozen in fear, stood there, next to The Phantom, in a wedding dress. She looked gorgeous, but Tommy couldn’t let that distract him.

“What the f-”

Arthur slapped a hand over John’s mouth, quieting him before they could be caught by the pair. He looked over to his other brother, scanning the look of worry on his face. His other hand rubbed his brother’s arm comfortingly.

“Pity comes too late,” The Phantom placed a veil on Y/n’s head, “turn around and face your fate! And eternity of this!-” he pointed to the scared side of his face, “before your eyes...” He calmed himself by looking into her eyes. Erik, the Phantom, placed a ring into Y/n’s hand.

Y/n walked to a covered mirror, taking off the veil as she walked. “This haunted face,” She tore down the cover, turning to Erik. It was clear that they were no longer strangers. “Holds no horror for me now. It’s in your soul; that the true distortion lies...”

John snorted a little, finding humor in the fact that they were still singing, but quickly shut up when Erik turned his head towards the noise. It was too late, far far far too late. He smirked mischievously.

“Wait, my dear, I think we have some guests!” He switched from singing to talking.

Her eyes followed his gaze, spotting Tommy, John, and Arthur. “Tommy!” She moved forward. Tommy mirrored her and pressed himself against the portcullis.

“Sir. Or shall I say, sirs. This is indeed, an unparalleled delight! I had rather hoped that you,” he made eye contact with Tommy, “that you would come!” Erik walked down the steps, next to Y/n. “And now, my wish comes true.” He pulled Y/n into her side. Tommy flinched upon hearing and seeing Y/n’s panic caused by Erik’s actions. “You have truly made my night.”

“Let me go-”

Everything broke from Tommy’s head. It was purely in the moment. For once he was acting with his heart, rather than his brain. “Free her!” Y/n stopped and looked to him with confusion, opposite to Erik’s looks of amusement. “Do to me whatever you would like, but please! Free her!”

“Your lover makes a passionate plea.”

“Please- Tommy... it’s useless...”

“Tom! She’s right, we can’t do anything with this stupid thing in the way.” Arthur grumbled.

“I love her!” He was speaking to everyone. From the heart. “Does that mean nothing? I love her! Show some compassion-”

“The world showed no compassion to me!” The brothers and Y/n faced Erik, small signs of empathy for the red and ruined side of his face.

“Y/n. Y/n, let me see her. Let me fucking see her!” Tommy kicked the portcullis harshly, showing his demand was not to be taken as a joke.

“Be my guest, sir.” Erik smirked wider and walked to a lever. He pulled it and the portcullis began moving upwards. Before he could say more, Tommy fired random shots. He could careless if he hit The Phantom or missed, his mission was to get Y/n and then skedaddle the fuck out of there.

John and Arthur exchanged glances and nods, joining Tommy in open fire towards the man.

Tommy reached Y/n, pausing and pressing a kiss to her soft lips, closing his eyes and melting into their short kiss. After the separated, he picked her up, one arm under her knees and the other somewhere above her waist. He nodded to her. Her arms wrapped around his neck.

“John! Arthur! Cease fire! I repeat! Cease fire!”

Erik chuckled madly, “Aren’t you going to finish me?” He looked at Arthur, then his gun. “Kill me!”

Arthur raised his gun. Aimed. Inhaled.

“Stop! Don’t kill him! Let him be... please...” Y/n faced Tommy with watery eyes, “let me down for a second, please.” Thomas hesitated, but followed the orders of his significant other. She kissed him once more, then walked to Erik and shooed the brothers away from him.

“W-what’re you doing!? Y/n! T-Tom, she’s gonna get hers-”

“Leave it Arthur. Y/n knows what she’s doing. I hope.” Tommy mumbled the last sentence under his breath.

They watched as Y/n caressed the cheek of the scared side to Erik’s face, her face scrunching with visible focus. She pulled him down to her, rested her forehead against his and whispered to him.

“Angel of music... thank you for this journey... Alas, twasn’t I that was destined to join you on it.” John shouted for her to hurry, the sound of the coppers growing near. “Run, dear Phantom, run and don’t ever look back. One day the world will except you...you just can’t force it.” 

Y/n reached for his hand, opening it and placing his ring in it, then folding it shut, just as he did to her hand. He smiled at her. He finally surrendered.

Tommy walked up to them, causing Erik to move back a bit. Tom stopped in front of the man and handed him a large amount of money, smiling with a heart full of sympathy. “Run, Phantom. As far as the coppers know, you’re dead. My uncle will have a boat, board it if you’d like. Start a new life.” 

The Phantom nodded, taking the money. But. He paused. “Go. Be free, my Angel of Music. You’ve shown me nothing but kindness and care, and I thank you for that.” The unfamiliar voices neared. Erik’s eyes widened, “Hurry! Leave! Go!”

Tommy grabbed Y/n, pulling her with him as they headed into the water and tried to ran through it. Y/n turned her head, giving Erik one last look, giving him one last nod, and smiling to him for the last time. They ran out the burning theater, Moss interviewed her, writers for news companies chased after her, but everyone was shooed away by her family.

At home, Tommy cradled Y/n’s cheeks, looking deeply into her eyes. “I thought I lost you...”

“Well I’m here, aren’t I?” She leaned forward, mumbling against his lips, “I missed you... I love you so much Tommy.”

Tommy closed the cap between them, staying for a few minutes. Peaceful. Quiet. Still in his suit and her in the wedding gown she was forced into. “I love you too, Y/n. Very much... Maybe this dress could do some use for us. Eh?”

[banditthewriter]

Letting Go - Tommy Shelby

Prompt: Request for Tommy ShelbyxReader, "the thing they hated the most was that they couldn't hate him at all" and someone rescues the other Prompter: @lucdarling​

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

*gif not mine*

Enjoy!

*****

The incessant knocking on your door made you frown. As much as you wanted to ignore whoever it was in favor of the book in your hand, you knew it would be a bad idea. Whoever it was obviously had something important on their mind for them to bang on your door as if the devil himself was after them.

You moved through the living room and into the foyer. Then you finally opened the door and quieted the noise that had startled you from your reprieve. 

Had you thought the devil himself was after the person on your stoop? You had been mistaken. It seemed to be the devil himself on your stoop.

“Tommy Shelby, as I live and breathe,” you said with a sigh as you stared at the man half slumped against the wall next to your door. “What are you… are you bleeding?”

He looked down at himself and then back up at you.

“It’s not all mine. Can I come in?”

Ordinarily you would turn him away, let him face the consequences of whatever actions had brought this on. You had shut the door on him more than once in the time you’d been acquainted with the man.

However he had never come to you covered in blood before. With a sigh, you opened the door wider to let him in.

“Try not to bleed on the carpet. I’ll go fetch some towels. And maybe some first aid,” you added as an afterthought before you went to the back of your flat.

At least you lived alone. You’d hate to have to explain to anyone else why the head of the Peaky Blinders was in the foyer dripping blood on the entryway. Mostly because you weren’t sure why he was there.

With everything gathered, you pointed him in the direction of the kitchen and set off behind him.

“Do I want to know why this is how you decide to show up on my doorstep?”

“Thought flowers might have been a bit cliche,” he said with a grunt as he sat down in a chair. 

The look you leveled him with would have made a lesser man cower. But no one had ever accused Tommy of being a lesser man.

You set to work on making sure any of his injuries weren’t life threatening. As you knelt down beside the chair, you were reminded of the first time you’d done this for him. He’d come to you with blood dripping down his face, a manic look in his eyes. You had patched him up and sent him to bed to sleep it off.

Except you ended up in bed with him that night. And every night after that. 

That wasn’t going to happen this time.

“Wonder what the other guy looks like,” you said as you passed a cloth over his busted knuckles.

“I’m sure he’s still in the alley where I dumped him,” he admitted casually.

When you looked up at him to tell him off for that flippant remark, you found yourself staring up into those twin pools of ice that he called eyes. You’d always felt uncentered when he was around, but this was worse somehow. You cleared your throat and looked back down to his hand.

The hand that used to hold yours so gently. Or that he’d trace over the curve of your hip in bed, the covers discarded so the two of you could see each other. That hand had held you close, soothed you, brought you to heights of pleasure you’d only ever dreamed about.

It had also caused bloodshed and pain, had shook before it went through the wall of the flat you had lived in at the time. 

“As always, Tommy, pain and misery follows your very footsteps. It’s no wonder you haven’t ended up in a ditch yourself.”

His eyes felt like a physical presence on your face.

“I’ve been in worse places than a ditch.”

You passed a hand over your face, fingers pressed into your eye socket to relieve some pressure there. Had you had a headache before he showed up? Somehow you doubted it.

“I want you to leave,” you said as you stood up, a cloth dropping from your hand to the floor without a care. “You’re obviously not dying, I’ve stopped the bleeding. You’re in one piece so leave.”

He stared up at you for a long moment in which you tried to force yourself not to show him how hurt you were right then. How much you wanted to scream at him and beg him to just end it, to let you go.

Every time you thought you might be ready to get over him, he showed back up and dragged you right back in. You hated it. You hated him.

You hated how much you didn’t hate him.

He stood up slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. You thought he’d move around you to head to the door like you had told him, but he just stepped into your space. When you opened your mouth to repeat the demand that he leave, he wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and pulled you into a kiss.

It wasn’t demanding or harsh, not at all like the last kiss you shared with him. This was soft and gentle and every bit the type of kiss that made you fall in love with him the first time.

“Stop,” you whispered against his lips even as your hands clutched on his shoulders to draw him closer, ���please don’t put me through this again.”

He pressed his forehead to yours, both of you forced to breathe heavy after that kiss. Then he pulled away and moved around you towards the door.

When you heard it shut behind him, you sank to your knees in the middle of your kitchen. There was specks of blood on the floor, a wash bowl with a bloody cloth on the edge of it. And then there was your lips which had been set on fire with the briefest touch from the man you wanted to hate.

You wanted to hate him, needed it, but you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to.

The reveal that Tommy had sought you out on purpose so that he could use your money and your connections for his own benefit had nearly killed you. You had watched the light drain from behind his eyes as the words were hurled at him, meant to hurt him the way he had hurt you. The only thing that you could do in retaliation is make sure he would never get his hands on the resources he needed.

Months passed and every time you started to get over him, he was there again. Usually the two of you just ran into each other in passing, at a restaurant or in the street. This was the first time he’d come to your home.

You wished he had just kept walking. You were pretty sure one of his guys lived a few doors down, he could have gone there. Why had he come to you?

Why had he kissed you?

Why couldn’t you let him go?

------

Tommy had told you that while he had originally sought you out to use you, he had fallen in love with you. He had demanded that you believe him, that you trust the man he had become, not the man he was. That was the night that he put his fist through the wall of your old flat. 

You told him to get out, to never come back. You might have even told him that he was dead to you.

His fist had gone through the wall and then you were alone. You spent the rest of the night packing a bag with the intention of leaving and never coming back.

But you did come back. Birmingham was in your blood and you refused to be run off from your home.

Part of you wanted to believe that Tommy had really loved you. You remembered the nights where you were curled up in bed and whispering your deepest secrets to one another. He told you about his fears and wants, about the nightmares that haunted him after the war, the weight of his family on his shoulders. You told him about your insecurities, the fear that you would never amount to more than your last name, the things you wanted to accomplish. 

It had to be real, at least part of it. You refused to believe that he could have faked it all for that long.

You walked through the streets of Small Heath with your head held high. If people knew why you were no longer with Tommy, no one seemed to treat you any differently. 

The Peaky Blinders all treated you with the same respect that they always did. Even John and Arthur still treated you like you were with their brother.

As angry as you were with Tommy, you still knew that he was the only one you could go to when you were in trouble. And you were definitely in trouble.

There might have been someone in the office but you didn’t wait. You pushed the door open the moment you were there, Tommy was at the desk. Whoever he was expecting, you could tell that he didn’t expect you to be the one to burst in. 

He said your name in that low voice of his and your knees almost buckled. Almost. You made your way over to his desk. Carefully you pulled the paper from your bag and passed it over to him. 

“What’s this?”

You didn’t say anything, just waited. After a beat of silence, he unfolded the paper. You knew the moment when he read the part that had you worried.

“Where did you find this?”

“On my kitchen table when I got home from the shops,” you said as you sat down in the chair across from him. “I guess they wanted me to know that they could get to me, that I wasn’t safe.” 

If they wanted to scare you, they had succeeded. Tommy folded the paper and put it on the desk. You almost reached out for it, but you kept your hands in your lap.

“Did you bring it here because you think it’s from me?”

You were surprised at that, but maybe you shouldn’t be. Hadn’t you told him that you didn’t know what he was capable of?

That was still true, but you knew he wasn’t capable of this.

“I brought it here because… I hoped you might help me. I know who it’s from and I know what they want. And as the letter says, I know that they’ll kill to get what they want.”

Tommy crossed over from his seat to where you were sitting. He reached out and wrapped his hand around yours. You could see the healed scrapes that you had bandaged a week before in your kitchen.

He had kissed you a week ago. Was it only a week ago?

“Tell me who it is and I’ll make sure they never harm you. You can hate me, but I will keep you safe.”

You felt as if you couldn’t breathe. Even through all of this, he was willing to kill for you. Even believing that you hated him, he would protect you.

You didn’t hesitate to give him the names of the men who were after you. You trusted Tommy to do what had to be done.

------

It had been decided that you would stay at Tommy’s place since obviously your flat was compromised. Polly had barely given you a look when Tommy had escorted you in and up to his room. Then he told you that he’d have it dealt with soon.

A few hours had passed and you spent those few hours looking around the room that you had spent so much time before. There were still photos of the two of you littered around his room. One of your dresses was draped over a chair, just like you had left it. Your mirror and some hair pins sat on the dresser like you’d be back any moment to get ready.

You were gone, but he hadn’t let you go. 

When Tommy came in, he looked as pristine as he had when he had left. No drop of blood, no ruffled hair. He made his way over to you as he explained that they were dealt with, they were gone, they would never hurt you, they were–

Your lips crashed against his while he spoke, your hands already pushing his jacket over his shoulders and onto the ground. His hands went to your hips, your arms, your back, into your hair. He needed you as much as you needed him.

After both of you were pleasured and spent, you propped yourself up on his chest. Those ice blue eyes bore into yours, a million silent questions running through them.

And you needed to answer as many as you could. You owed that to him.

“I never hated you,” you admitted as you traced a finger over the sun on his chest. “I wanted to, told myself that I did, but truthfully I was never able to hate you. I love you too much to be able to hate you.”

His eyes widened. You gave a nod and leaned in again, your lips finding his easily.

“You love me? Still?”

It was impossible, but you did. Maybe that was your cross to bear, the albatross around your neck. You would love this man no matter what he did.

“It’s like you said, I have to trust the man you’ve become, not the one you were. And the man you are? Well, you killed people just for threatening me. Even though I’ve been punishing you for months.”

He rolled the two of you over so that he could wrap himself around you.

“I’d kill anyone that so much as looked at you wrong. If you wanted me to,” he amended when he saw the faux stern look you gave him. Then seriously, “I fell in love with you as easily as breathing. In love, out of chances. And I will always keep you safe.”

You cupped his cheek and pulled him in for another kiss. You should mind that you had fallen for this man, but you didn’t mind the devil inside of him. His inner demons seemed to embrace you as one of theirs and you never wanted him to let go.

“You’re safe with me,” he promised against your lips.

And you were. Somehow you knew that you were safe with him.

X

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[fandom-puff]

Hiya!! Can I request a Tommy shelbyxReader?? Reader moves away whilst tommy is at war due to not hearing anything from him, not a letter at all but hes written to polly? Both are/was best friends, planned to build an empire together (now the shelby company) whilst reader now lives somewhere different, Tommy's back from the war companys bigger than ever (fights, murder, success etc) reader has her own gang full of women but no one knows it's a woman's gang? (part one)

Hiya

I’m unfortunately not going to write this- it would end up being a series and I already have two tommy Shelby multi chap fics that I’ve been ignoring for months. Sorry 💖

[jellyfishbeansontoast]

are your requests open? if so can i request a thomas shelbyxreader fic please?

my requests are open!

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Finals, Finals, Finals

A modern Tommy Shelby one-shot for @justanothershelby​ and for everyone else who is in the midst of finals. Y’all can do it I believe in you!!!

           “Oh Ginger, can you please finish this for me?” You groaned and dropped your pen. Your dog looked up at you from her spot on your bed. She tilted her head to the side before resting her chin back on her paws. “Oh, it was worth a shot.” You sighed and rubbed your eyes. The light of your laptop made your head feel like there was a drill going through it. In fact, it felt like you’d had the same persistent headache for weeks. You were tailing the end of finals and it was starting to wear on you. Not enough sleep, not enough caffeine, not enough time in the day to get everything done. Deadlines were haunting your dreams and it got to the point where you had to schedule brief times to scream into a pillow for some relief.

           There was the sound of keys at the door and your boyfriend slipped in. He busied himself in the doorway for a moment, unraveling his scarf and hanging up his coat. Ginger jumped down from your bed to greet him.

           “Hello, girl, didya miss me, aye?” He cooed from the hallway. “Y/n?” He called.

           “Yeah?” You turned in your desk chair, grateful for a slight distraction.

           Tommy came in with a smile, his cheeks a little red from the brisk wind outside. A few snowflakes were melting in his dark hair. “It’s coming down out there.”

           “Mhm.” You glanced at the window. Large snowflakes had been falling all day. Unfortunately, you had to watch them from inside.

           “Here.” He set your coffee down on the table. “Extra shot.”  

           “You’re a lifesaver.” You popped the lid to let the coffee cool a bit. “I’ve been running a little low on energy.” You admitted with a frown towards your computer screen.

           Tommy took in your schedule all laid out in colorful sticky notes on the wall. “I don’t know how you do it sometimes.” He shook his head in disbelief.

           “Yeah, neither do I.” You mumbled and returned to your laptop.

           He kissed your temple. “Maybe, you should take a break.” He slowly rolled your chair back away from your desk.

           You reached toward your laptop. “What? No, Tom!” You protested.

           “You have plenty of time to at least fucking breathe, y/n.” He spun you around in the chair and held his hands out. “Take your mind off it for just a mo’.”

           You made a face at him but took his hands and let him haul you to your feet. “I hate you.” You grumbled. “I have so much left to do.”

           “What’ll be best, aye? Take Ginger out? Take a bath? Just sit and talk with me? Just an hour, love.” It was nearly impossible to say no to those damn blue eyes.

           Your shoulders slumped as you realized how exhausted you were. Something else would probably refresh you and maybe you’d get some new ideas once you stepped away from it for a second. “I guess a walk would be alright.” You grabbed your coffee and followed Tommy to the door to get bundled up.

           “Can you believe we got her outside, Ginger?” He chuckled as he stooped down to put on her lead. “A fucking miracle.”

           You rolled your eyes and shoved him playfully. “Tommy Shelby you are relentless.”

           He grinned and pulled you close in the doorway to steal a kiss.

Permanent Tag: @sansajonsastark​ @giftofdreams​

[themind-on-paper]

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Prompt:  “Word of advice: you can’t make people love you, but you can make them fear you.”

Warnings: none

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

You almost ended your shift at the bar when the Shelby boys walked into the room. The 3 of them sat at the bar. 

“What can I get you, boys?” You said to them. 

“Beer,” John said 

“For me too,” Arthur said quickly behind his brother.

You looked at Tommy. He was looking down at a coin, he head in his hand. He didn’t even acknowledge you. You walked away from the boys and got 2 beers.

You walked back to them with 2 beers in your hand. John and Arthur took one and walked away from the bar. Tommy was still staring at the coin in his hand. 

“Tommy can I get you something.”

“Scotch.” He said his voice sharp and angry. 

You poured a glass and set it in front of him. 

You helped a few other clients but Tommy was still sitting at the bar staring at the coin. He had those moments from time to time but this was taking longer than most of the times. After he couldn’t get a deal or just couldn’t get what he wanted he will do the same, but after a glass of scotch he would turn to normal. 

You walked towards him. 

“Tommy, can I help you with something?”

“No, No I’m good.” he says still looking at the coin. 

“Tommy, what happened?”

He looks at you for the first time. One of his eyes was turning purple. 

“How did that happened?” You said quickly.

“It’s business... Don’t worry.” He says 

“Well, what’s in your mind then? Why are you staring at that coin for hours?”

“I have to get in business with one of the families in town..”

“Just do what you always do give them something they want.” You said to him. 

“They don’t want anything. They don’t want anything to do with the Shelby’s.”

“Word of advice: you can’t make people love you, but you can make them fear you.” A man sitting next to Tommy said. Both of you looked at him. The man could berry stand on his feet. 

“I will pay his bill,” Tommy said and walked away. 

“You heard him, get me another beer.” the man said. 

You gave him a smile and got his beer. 

Prompt list

Do you have any questions or request just ask me. HERE

[themind-on-paper]

Pairing: Finn Shelby x Tommy Shelby

Prompt:  “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”

Warnings: none

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

“Tommy, come on let me help you,” Finn said walking after Tommy into his office. 

“Finn.” stops in his tracks and looks towards him. “You're too young.” 

“Please,” Finn said making puppy eyes. “Please.”

“No, go back to Polly,” Tommy said and walks away towards his office. 

Finn watches him and makes his way home again. 

The night was falling and Finn was sitting in his room. He was trying to make his own crown as Tommy had. 

He was trying to get the razors stuck into his hat till he cut himself. “Ahh..”  He looked at his finger, it was still bleeding. He walked with his finger pointed towards Polly. 

He almost reaches the kitchen when he ears John talking.  “Tommy could you talk to Finn he just keeps following us around. It’s going to be his dead someday.” 

At that moment Finn enters the kitchen. “I’m not gonna die.” He screams to all the man. 

They are all looked at him. 

“Finn sit down,” Tommy says. “Leave us alone for a moment.”

John and Arthur walk out.

Tommy lighted a cigaret up and sat in front of Finn. 

“Finn you’re too young.”

“No, I’m not,” Finn responds quickly. “I almost got my own crown.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“I made my own crown, with razors like you have.”

Tommy looks at his fingers. “Did you cut yourself with the razors?”

“It’s nothing..”

“Finn this is way, you’re too young. You can cut yourself with a simple razor.” 

“But I’m not dead, this is nothing.”

“The next time it could be your death.”

“If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass,” Finn says and runs out of the door. 

Tommy laughs at his comment. Her continues smoking and drinking his scotch. 

Prompt list

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Could you write a one shot with Thomas Shelbyxreader when the reader works for the company and saves the whole Shelby Company Limited from bankruptcy and when Thomas learns about it? I just got the idea, I don’t have many detail hahah hope you like it, you can end it the way you want! I wish you the motivation to write and to finish your schoolwork and stuff!!! I know the feeling...

//I got my school work done and still procrastinated! I’d say that’s a win-win. 

            When Tommy returned from the camp, he stormed into the office, his long coat billowing out behind him. The entire staff was on edge waiting for his return. After the stock market crash no one was prepared for the reaction their boss would have. He had thrown a fit when a ledger was presented to him that had one tiny error. There was no telling what he would do now that the world economy was crashing and burning.

            Since Michael was still in America still and Polly was putting the emergency family meeting together, you were the highest-ranked accountant in the office when Tommy arrived. You stood in the doorway of your office, chewing on your nail when you heard a door slam open and stomping up the stairs. There was a hush in the entire building aside from the angry noises coming from Tommy Shelby.

            “Y/n!” He shouted as he stalked down the hallway, tugging off his gloves and hat. “My office, now!”

            Niall Devlin gave you a nervous look but couldn’t offer any words of advice.

            You swallowed and made your way to Tommy’s office.

            “Close the door.” He ordered, standing by the liquor even though it was still early in the morning.

            You obliged and sat done by his desk to wait while he finished pouring his drink.

            “What did you hear?” He asked, his back still turned to her.

            You cleared your throat so you wouldn’t sound weak when you answered. “I uh, I heard from the newspaper.”

            “From Michael.” He reiterated in a clipped tone.

            “I haven’t gotten a call from him in a couple of weeks. I sent him a telegram about what advisors were saying.” You answered again.

            “He didn’t fucking listen. He held on. After I told him to-” Tommy was so angry his jaw was tight and he slammed his fist down on the liquor cart. The glass bottles rattled in response.

            “We can remedy this, Tommy.” You tried to assure him even though your heart was in your throat.

            “How?” He turned around without a drink, apparently too upset to make one.

            “Well I-I know it’s not my place to say, and maybe it’s not prudent but…” You tried to read the expression but couldn’t see what he was thinking, his face like stone.

            He raised his eyebrows. “Go on.”

            You took a deep breath and nodded. “Well, you started the Shelby company off the betting shop. You relied on cash instead of the stock market investments.”

            Tommy kept staring at you but it was almost as if he was looking right through you, so deep in thought. “We can trust cash.” He began to nod slowly.

            “I mean, I guess it would be up to you to find avenues, you would know better than me.” You became a bit more relieved that he hadn’t taken your suggestion the wrong way.

            “I think I have ideas.”

            You stood up, glad that the initial shock was over and you were in the clear with your boss. “Anything else I can do?” You asked.

            Tommy met your eyes again, finally seeing you instead of looking past you. He walked over, standing closer than he ever had before.

            Your breath caught in your throat as you smelled his cologne and cigarettes.

            “Thank you, y/n.” His voice was considerably softer as he tilted his head to kiss your cheek.

            Your face turned bright red and you nodded a few too many times. “I uh…of course.” You tried not to smile like a silly schoolgirl as you left his office. There was work to be done. You could kiss Tommy Shelby later.

[banditthewriter]

Request for Tommy ShelbyxReader, "the thing they hated the most was that they couldn't hate him at all" and someone rescues the other

Here you are darling! Hope you like it!

[themind-on-paper]

Tommy confronts Alfie about you....

“Tommy!” Alfie says, watching Tommy storm into his office.

“I know Y/N is with you.” Tommy says to Alfie.

Alfie took his glasses off and set them on his desk. “That was the first time you went straight to the point.”Alfie says calmly. Tommy just looks towards Alfie not saying just looking angry at him.

“Sit down.” Alfie says to him.   

“Where is she?” Tommy says to him.

“She safe. Nobody can hurt here.” Alfie says. He looks at Tommy and continues. “Not even you.”

“I would never hurt her.” Tommy responds quickly.

“Come on Tommy think.” Alfie says. “I’m not giving you any advise your a big boy.”

Tommy knew he was talking about all the women around Tommy. He hurt her because he knew she loved him. Like he loved her but after the war he just stopped showing his emotion towards her and started going around women. Tommy turns his back towards Alfie and started walking out of the bakery.

“Fuck me.”Alfie says to himself watching Tommy leave.

[zodiyack]

Just wanna say that you're my favorite writer on Tumblr! ❤️ I have a strange request. Could you make one Thomas ShelbyxReader based on The Phantom of the Opera? The reader performs in a fancy theater and a man, the theater's ghost, is obsessed with her. And the Peaky Blinders have to wait for the performance to catch him 'cause he's a freaking ghost (Point of No Return scene) I don't know if you ever watched The Phantom of the Opera, but I can send you another message with more info if you want

FERkjgoejrgklmdkcfwmfgkj Aww thank you!! That means a lot to me! ❤️❤️ It’s not a strange request! I actually really like this request! I would love to write it- and yes haha, I haven’t seen The Phantom of the Opera, I wanted to for years but I haven’t. Another message would be helpful lol

Thank you for requesting

[banditthewriter]

I wish you'd write a modern Tommy ShelbyxReader featuring crimes and protectiveness and a dash of romance.

I've been thinking a lot about Modern!Tommy lately. And with my newfound interest in a Tommy-reader-Billy sandwich, its giving me even more thoughts.

Just think about modern Tommy growing his company and the Peaky Blinders being known worldwide but untouchable. The drama of an attack by his rivals and Tommy becoming unhinged to protect the reader or get her back if she was taken. The reader being able to hold her own because if you're gonna be with someone like Tommy, you gotta know at least some self defense. At the end of it all the reader posts a picture to her Twitter of her hand and his (because she never posts his face on her Twitter for legal reasons) and she's wearing a beautiful engagement ring.