#she's still in it. she looks phenomenal in it especially w her red hair

[britneyshakespeare]

well in more positive news

midge is now the proud wearer or friday night date (1960-1964)

[vminity21]

Beyond the Facade | knj

Pairing: handyman!namjoon X preacherskid!reader, bestfriend!taehyung X pregnant!reader, f2l!au

Word Count: 10,958

Genre: mysterious/angst/fluff/smut

Warning(s): strong language use, semi-detailed childbirth, mention of infidelity, alluding of a love triangle, evidence of a sheltered background, angst involving family matters, smut, losing virginity, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), nipple play, hand groping, lots of flashbacks but that is the point of the story i sorry; Rated: 18+

Summary: A sheltered life leads to harbored secrets that are buried in order to protect someone you are falling in love with. As the time is nearing for the life growing inside you to be welcomed into the world, the reminiscences of all the moments unfold to reveal a beautiful story that needed to be told.

Credits to: @suhdays​ for making such a phenomenal header! The talent she has never ceases to amaze me!

The graying of the clouds is all you can see beyond your window other than the panging rain droplets now trickling upon the glass. Arm resting against your forehead, your lips press into a straight line in response to the series of thoughts circling your mind. Carefully, you slide your palms upon the mattress in an attempt to sit up, wanting to see more of the view besides the crying sky. Knuckles curling to rub your tired eyes, you furrow your brows, the comforting warmth of the bed covers remain tangled between your shins. Leafless trees border the side of the building save for a small swing set; a paved section decorated with a basketball hoop where a large shed stands many feet across from it. If one is to step outside the front of the structure, there sits a church surrounded by a gravel parking lot where the neighboring land hosts a barbed wire fence with an abandoned house and field.

It's been four months since you deemed the fellowship hall your home, and appreciatively, the area has been vacant since the falling of the church which saves even more stress than what you've been in since moving here. Achingly, your legs stretch to move off the bed before your feet land onto the grainy carpet. Your right-hand slips to steady your back, maneuvering your body to scoot to the bed frame, which has become a daily routine, weak fingers gripping the wood until your digits become pale white. Letting out a steady sigh, with all your strength you lift yourself to where you can stand, "Oomf," a small whimper escapes past your lips, tensing at the cringe plaguing your shoulders.

Being seven months pregnant sometimes has its perks, but this isn't one of them. Bending your body forward slightly, you step sluggishly toward your dresser, pulling out maternity clothes lent to you before the move.

"So, when are you going to tell us?" The soft murmur belonging to your mother echoes from the driver's side. Her expression submits an evident mixture of exhaustion and exasperation; though it's been a month since the announcement of your pregnancy, your mother is currently driving you to a doctor's appointment for a checkup on the baby to make sure everything is okay, "we have a right to know."

Arms crossed over your chest in mild annoyance, you bite the corner of your mouth until the side of your head meets the window, getting lost in the line of trees zipping by.

Waddling into the bathroom, the vague memory fades, your hand reaching to turn the knob of the shower. The squeaky sound along with rushing water splatters against the shower curtain sending a soothing jolt of excitement. Chilly air springs goosebumps over your limbs once you're freed of your clothes, waiting patiently for the water to warm before inching into the tub. When steaming liquid soon dribbles among your frame, a grin of satisfaction sparks brief happiness you needed an escape to. The heat of the downpour eases your aching bones, fingers clasping behind your neck to lean your head back, "Oh!" You gasp in surprise when the instant feel of a kick happens within your tummy. Eyes flutter down in the direction of your swollen belly, palms moving to caress it, "Look at you, what are you trying to do? Escape?" Cooing with a light giggle, when the baby kicks again, you can't help the giddy smile tugging at the corner of your lips. Now, this- this is what you love about being pregnant. Finishing up, you dry your hair before swiftly dressing along with brushing your teeth.

Thoughts still pertaining to the small life growing inside you, you've decided since your first doctor's visit that you do not want to know your baby's gender until the day that you give birth. When you presented the idea to your mother, she was all on board, proclaiming how she had done that with your younger sibling. Running a brush through your hair, you skim one final look into the mirror formerly then head to exit the bathroom.

Gradually sauntering through the mini hallway, you're more zoned on the way your hand pats upon the wall in some form of maintaining stableness to the point you hardly notice almost slamming into a tall figure.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry!" A deep voice panics, raising his arms in a way to catch you though your arms mirror the same. Heart ramming, a breath of relief winds past your parted lips- your eyes scanning the slim legs that follow to the handsome face of Kim Namjoon. His eyes enlarged apologetically.

"Oh Namjoon, you scared me," a tender chuckle sets the feel of calm for he sees the amnesty etched in your eyes.

"I'm so sorry, [Y/N], I was about to head out to mow the lawn, but just wanted to check and make sure you're okay," he timidly scopes the view of your huge abdomen, gulping once his hands rest loosely at his sides, returning his eyes to search yours before a sweet grin spreads upon your face.

"It's no biggie. Thank you for checking on me,"

His dimples show from the way his lips press in a tight smile, nodding in reply, timorously turning to waltz to the outdoors in preparation of the day ahead. You watch until he disappears from your line of vision; the creep of a blush burning from your chest to your cheeks. Raking your hands through your hair, you force yourself once again to deny the attraction seeping through your soul thankful your blush attacked after he left.

Kim Namjoon works for your father, making sure the church grounds continuously stay clean and cut creating a pretty environment to the eye. Protecting the land is another part of the job description- protecting it from any loiterers, wild animals, protesters, etcetera- maintaining flower bushes encircling the area as well as mini projects your father will want Namjoon to build. The swing set, including the shed, happen to be plans that Namjoon successfully constructed due to your father's wishes. In return, Namjoon is provided a place to live- the room that once held your father's office, is now changed into a bedroom.

It's strange for you to think about it now- how so much has changed in just seven months, when a year ago the church was thriving, unaware of the secrets that clouded within the audience. Squeezing your eyes shut, a reminiscent from the beginning of your pregnancy rears its head causing a tiny brink of nausea to form.

Taehyung's arms drape around you tightly, embracing you in all entirety that your eyes shut against the crook of his neck. Your fingers squeeze his shoulder, legs bent across his thighs while tepid tears spill onto your cheeks.

"Shhh," he tries to comfort, his breath tickling your exposed ear- your face still buried beneath his chin, "It's going to be okay," he whispers just as soft as the flicking fire burning amongst numerous candle wicks. Scents of vanilla blends with birch fitting the dimly lit bedroom that you're thankful exists other than the man refusing to let you go until you feel better.

"How?" You choke back another sob, "How am I going to tell my parents? How am I supposed to confront the church if that's what it comes down to? Shit... My dad is going to fucking kill me," Taehyung's shirt is soaked, but he could care less, tangling his long fingers into your hair to stroke the back of your head.

"Okay, now, you're being dramatic,"

"So, maybe I am? But you know very well that my parents aren't going to take this lightly,"

"Yeah, but I think it's safe to say that telling your parents you're pregnant is far better than if you were to tell them how you truly feel about religion,"

"Okay? Perhaps, you're right," a snippet of a frustrated huff leaves your trembling lips, "especially not with what's been going on with the church, I don't know how much more they can take,"

"Well, your dad should have thought of that before he had an affair with my mom," Taehyung's icy tone brings chills to your frame before he loudly swallows, lips firm from the anger boiling behind his almond eyes. Tendrils of his bright, red hair glow regardless of how dark the atmosphere is, and you hardly hold back the sheer pain stabbing your heart from the guilt you can't help but endure.

"Tae, I'm so so sorry,"

"Hey," he peers down at you, realizing he may have taken his comment too far, even though you're just as angry towards your father as your best friend is, "you didn't know," sniffling back the remaining mucus clogging your nostrils, you desire to face Taehyung no matter how foolish you think you may look, scooting your body to where your palm indents in his mattress next to his legs, his arm now rests around your waist, and for a split second, you're close enough to where the tempting appearance of his striking face beckons the strange glimmer of longing. A longing of curing whatever loneliness you're going through, but you're not the only one experiencing this moment for Taehyung's lips part just enough to plead your attention.

You can't stop yourself, and you don't, because before either of you comprehend, you close the gap letting the delicate wave of his kiss caress yours. "Tae," you breathe against his lips, reuniting with his kiss almost immediately while a dizzy spell of want travels through your chest. You know this isn't right. He knows this isn't right, but too many pent-up emotions between your hearts have gotten out of hand, and for now, all the two of you have is each other. His fingertips move to tenderly trail your jaw, gasping into his mouth when the tip of his tongue circles yours before you move to trap him in a perfect straddle. You need something, anything to feel whole again- something to forget about the people you lost and the people you will lose. And, if there's anyone in this world you do not want to lose it's him.

There's no refraining, there's no hesitation, just the growing pace of the kisses, and the way you're so enthralled with how beautiful he feels squeezing you tighter to him. "[Y/N]," he moans, hating himself for how far he wants to go with you, yet he craves your touch, nearly supplicates for it. You want to feel his skin, and the aching throb below you seems to deafen any other screams of stopping, and yet, your fingers move to the end of his shirt, peeling it just enough to expose the solid wall of his abdomen. "[Y/N]," he stops you, breaking the final kiss, his hand covering your wrist, while your eyes frantically search the side of his face, "We- we can't,"

You haven't seen him since, because of the boundaries that were crossed and would have been farther crossed if Taehyung had not had the strength to stop. The pair of you have been best friends since childhood, and neither of you wants to take anything beyond for the sake of feeling empty, but he assured you that night, even after your panic of apologies pouring from your mouth, after the humiliation that shackled your system, even after the daunting assumption that your friendship was over- he cupped your cheek, promising that he was still here and that he would never end your attachment over something, you both will never regret.

It's a secret you've suppressed for some time. Taehyung calls every so often when he can; dealing with his broken-hearted father on top of two jobs consumes every bit of his time. Yet, you can't help but miss him, the one person who loyally stayed by your side even when you came forward to your friends about your pregnancy. And, the one friend who still loves you all the same, even after discovering his mother's affair with your father.

Rage isn't enough to describe the resentment against your father, and ever since you told your parents that you were expecting, and ever since your move, you haven't spoken to him. You'll never forget how torn your mother was- depression weighing heavy on her, and that's something that's hard to forgive.

Your mother looks frail as she twiddles the crumpled tissue in her hands. Tears brim her eyes through the silence in the car, sparse sniffles breaking your heart into a million pieces. The two of you had just come back from the grocery store to restock the kitchen in your recently new home and are now parked at the church's back door to drop you off. You hesitated upon leaving because the thought of your mother having to return home to a place of remorse is the last thing you want for her. The promise of a car was granted to you, but you turned it down, refusing to accept anything from the man who caused so much pain to your family. To Taehyung's family.

Running the tissue underneath her eyes, she speaks, "[Y/N]?"

"Yeah?" Your voice is barely a whisper, but the guilt from how stressed your mother has been is something you wish you could carry instead of her. After the betrayal of your father as well as him resigning from the church to send people away from the place they once sought refuge in- on top of her oldest daughter being pregnant with her first child is already a lot to handle. The other frustration you bite your tongue from expressing is the fact of your parents refusing to let you get a job until the time after you give birth. You want to make the money to provide for yourself and your son or daughter without the dependence upon your parents- your mother especially, yet you're grateful for her adamancy on keeping you from any risks outside of the walls of your home.

It takes a moment before your mother gathers her words, "Do you- do you think you could ask Namjoon to help take you to the hospital? Whenever it's time... for you to have the baby?"

It was easier for your mother to ask that of you because he lived in the same building, and if any emergency of your water breaking happened earlier than expected, at least you would have someone available to take you to the hospital. Your gaze clears from the zone out you've had the whole time standing in the entrance of the hallway before Namjoon left. Turning on a heel, you decide to return to your bed, slipping under the covers- you're too wide awake to sleep as of now, yet the foam of the mattress eases the soreness of your back once you lean against the pillows.

-Four months earlier-

Queasiness envelops your abdomen to where you recognize the cue, rushing to the porcelain throne to heave whatever yellow liquid is left- spurting it into the toilet while you grimace through the pain. The door swings open behind you mixed with heavy footsteps quickening to you. When large hands swoop to hold your hair back, you don't have the strength to look at the intruder due to the continuous retching that deems you defenseless.

"It's okay, it's okay," the deep voice is soft, and relief brings tears to your eyes when you recognize it to be Kim Namjoon. You're embarrassed once your stomach gives you a break, your palms pressing to your forehead while you slump against the wall.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper, swiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Namjoon scatters to find a tissue, patting the corners of your lips.

"You don't have to be sorry,"

"That... wasn't what I was apologizing for,"

A knowing glance is all he must give for you to share whatever thoughts you can't bring yourself to voice. He was your friend before all of this, yet you failed to mention to him about the pregnancy, and with him being the worker of the Church- he didn't discover your budding stomach until the day you moved in. His eyes flicker away from your stare toward the slight protrusion of your baby bump due to your ruffled t-shirt. He settles on the floor across from you, silence being the only conversation held. He isn't one to hold anger, and though you kept him unaware until your third month of pregnancy, he refuses to leave your side, making a pact to himself he will do whatever it takes to provide the care that you will need. As well as the little one.

Despite the emotional roller coaster, you remain amazed with how he keeps his patience with you. A day of depression to a random bout of laughter- memories turning of the betrayals of close friends who judged you immediately the day you put your trust in them- the freedom you craved away from the sheltered life your father forced upon you- even days where you can't seem to put your tears on pause, yet Namjoon holds you through every grieve.

"What if... what if I'm not good enough?" Your voice shakes between sobs- you had been dreaming restlessly yet another night, tossing within your bed to the point Namjoon came to check on you- rushing to pull you into his arms the moment your eyes fluttered to reveal pained tears. Your words nearly shatter him- pulling away just enough to where his eyes lock with yours.

"How can you say that, [Y/N]?" The faint light of your lampshade causes his face to glisten- angelically, you decide, yet the shadowing doubt of motherhood plagues you still, because what if you genuinely can't care for the child that you're six months away from holding? Fears encompass you like an ocean, smashing along your mind in harsh waves. "Look at me," are the words that snap you from whatever sea you were suffocating in to realize you had unintentionally switched your gaze from him. It's the calming effect the warmth of Namjoon's eyes bring when he exposes whatever faith he has in the woman you are and will become. "You're going to do just fine, believe me, I know it,"

Sniffling, you run the back of your hand along your chin where an escapee of a tear dangled, "How can you be so sure?"

"Because when have you ever given up on anyone that you care about," it's not a question, he's stating what he knows to be a fact. Something he learned of you when he first was hired to tend to the property. "You're stubborn when it comes to winning someone over. I was determined not to befriend anyone here. But you changed that for me, remember?"

A knowing tug of a smile trembles into a stretch upon your lips, "I do,"

"Same with the baby. I know you will love that little one more than life itself. It doesn't have a choice, and you'll let him or her know the second they're born,"

When a hearty snicker leaves your mouth, you notice the sticky feel of your drying face- you are no longer crying.

"You don't have to do this alone, [Y/N]. You showed me that even when I didn't know what else to do. Now, get some rest, okay? You have a doctor's appointment bright and early," the bed creaks from the gradual movement of Namjoon standing,

"Wait!" You speak before you can stop yourself, Namjoon immediately pausing- the heat of his arms is felt beneath your palms from your pounce of panic, and with evident chagrin, you shyly stare at his chest, "Can you uh, ... Can you stay in here with me tonight?" You've refrained from asking sooner due to the shame of not telling him the news that's become apparent, and even now, you haven't been able to comprehend how he's not the slightest bit angry with you. When his arms encircle you closer to his frame, no words need to be said because he's already answered by just this gesture. Nuzzling into his embrace, the side of his chin pressed to your forehead, "Whoever it is, I hope they grow up to be half the person that you are," you whisper, squeezing him tighter, infinite smiles now ending the night that cures any ounce of uncertainty.

By the fifth month of pregnancy, you finally come to the realization of how selfish you have been- it's no longer about you and your needs; it is now about the needs of your son or daughter growing within you. Namjoon catered to every grocery store trip, stocking the kitchen and in return, you choose to cook for him every meal, hoping to show as much appreciation to him that you can.

"Have you thought about any names?" Taehyung's voice muses on the other line of the phone, the sound of him bringing a small smirk upon your face. You've missed him terribly so, yet the acceptance of surprise phone calls is all you can settle with for now. At his question though, you pause with the tilt of your head, taking a quick sip of the broth that you're currently heating on the stove.

"No?" It's a brief question of guilt, something you haven't been ready to ponder, "Honestly... haven't thought that far ahead yet," you add in the vegetables to boil within the broth.

The familiar, deep chuckle is all you hear to gain an idea of what your best friend is about to say next, "I should have known,"

"Alright, Birkenstocks. What do you mean by that?"

"Breezing past that mistake. You named your Parakeet, Bird,"

"Well, in my defense, I was seven years of age,"

"And in my defense, playing basketball in Birkenstocks was supposed to start a trend,"

"Since how? I-"

"Ask Hoseok,"

"You lost a bet didn't you-"

"And, I will pay for it for the rest of my life, now won't I?"

"With me around, you will,"

Hoseok is the deacon's son who's dream of fashion has been shunned by his family, yet he designs in a sketchbook Taehyung hides for whenever Hoseok and he share the same work shifts. He's not one you have had the opportunity to communicate much with, but you're thankful Taehyung has someone to maintain a friendship with while you two have been apart. A short response of silence settles while your cheek and shoulder squeeze the phone for a moment as you stir the steaming vegetables.

"You could have named the bird, Tweety at least-"

"Oh!" You playfully growl, "Back with that again, huh?"

"Do I need to send you a link of baby names-"

"I promise you, Tae, I do not plan on naming my child, Kid, okay?"

"You'd be surprised-"

Taehyung's excitement for his future Godchild brings a simmering joy to the surface of your pattering heart. Almost as equal to the eagerness, your mother has shown with this being her first grandchild. Graciously, your mother has never been as strict as your father, hence why the past five months have gone much smoother then they would have if your father had never had an affair with Mrs. Kim.

The phone call ends whenever dinner is finished, and by that time, Namjoon scuffles through the door- the outdoorsy scent drifts to your nose while you place the sweltering bowls of soup on the table. Namjoon shimmers his feet from his work boots before hanging his coat, timidly glimpsing in your direction to confirm you're okay.

Small talk ensues with the typical questions of how each of your days has gone once the pair of you take your seats. One secret, yet another you and Taehyung have harbored, is the awareness of Namjoon's atheism- something your father must never learn of his worker. Namjoon, who will not admit it, works on the church grounds in order to provide for his family who lives a few miles up the road. Ultimately, there are many secrets not worth sharing to your parents, not only for the sake of sanity but for the protection of the ones who you've kept close, especially Namjoon. With your father being the tyrant of a priest, he used to be, there is still the potential distress of him firing Namjoon over the mere difference of beliefs. Something you refuse to let happen while you're around.

Clinking spoons replace conversation, for how long, you're uncertain; the fog of your thoughts seem to consume upon one in particular- something that has remained festering long enough, yet you have never said it aloud- figuring this moment may be the time that you do. Namjoon confided in you and Taehyung once he found comfort in trusting the pair of you- even subjects that one would have never expected him to open about. Guilt presents itself to the point your eyes squeeze shut, opening them to move your spoon to play at a piece of broccoli swimming in the potage.

"They don't know," your words are careful- slow even- continuing your vision on the dinner before you. You can feel Namjoon's soft eyes on you, his expression confused. "They don't know who the father is," that's when your gaze trails to meet his eyes just for more guilt to manifest behind them. By they, you're referring to your parents, as well as every other soul excluding Taehyung, "I won't tell them." Namjoon slowly nods with the sense of understanding, knowing the cost that will be taken if your father were to know who you're trying to bury beneath this web of fear. "Besides," you sigh heavily, "I'm surprised my father was lenient enough to let me live here," you confess, "if he wasn't so guilty over the affair, I would be homeless-"

"I wouldn't let that happen," Namjoon says suddenly, destroying whatever anger you were dwelling upon. Your mouth falls open in shock at his words and the frilly flutter of your heartbeat is hard to ignore. After living here for two months, he's proven time and time again that he means what he says; what he just said. Speechless, the rest of dinner continues in fond silence, your heart refusing to steady for the man slowly captivating your heart.

The sixth month of pregnancy gifts swollen feet and aching bones on top of your belly growing heavier by the week. Namjoon has stayed loyal- tending to your pregnancy cravings in the dead of night, aiding to your discomfort whether it involves a heating pack or a cup of ice, slipping under the covers on nights you want him to hold you, driving you to every doctor's appointment without any hesitation; with all that he's been doing for you, it's like your feelings have blossomed deeper which you know shouldn't be happening with the peril of your father finding out. The unexpected visits from your father are few, yet you usher the reminder to yourself of protecting Namjoon, though he carries the weight of facing your father instead of you who avoids the confrontation.

Night comes quickly after a day spent cleaning up the nursery that seems to be coming together, other than the crib Namjoon's been building- something you accidentally discovered when strolling close to the shed one sunny day. He's so dedicated to the unborn infant, it nearly brings you to tears, glancing around the elegant hues of multiple pastel colors painted across the room with stuffed animals, blankets, and furniture he continues to gift you amongst different items your mother has added to the collection. You always enjoy the sporadic visits from your mother, because she's free to celebrate the life that she refuses to consider as a sin.

"Are you thinking boy or girl?" Your mother elbowed your side earlier today after moving around the furniture.

"Hm," you hummed happily, thankful for the relationship that's being redeemed with her, "you know? I'm not very sure,"

"I can tell from all the colors you've chosen," she teased, "it looks beautiful," she cooed, pulling you into an accomplished side hug. You didn't want to stick to just pink or blue, so you chose every other shade in between, colliding the space with colors that could go for either or. "You're going to be a wonderful mother,"

The sound of the front door opens distracting you from the former memory, staring down at the table that now rests heaping plates of chicken and rice. The fellowship hall used to be filled with numerous rows of horizontal tables mingled with circular ones where the crowd would come to camaraderie to joyful hymnals, delicious food, reflected testimonies without any warning of the secrecies soon floating to the surface. Now a solo table, the one planted before you, pairs with a few sparse chairs just enough to seat at least four people.

"Hiya," you greet, trying to ignore the subtle increase of your heartbeat. Namjoon flashes a kid-like smile once he shutters out of his jacket, "How was your day?"

"It was good, thank you," he replies, taking long strides until he makes it to you, "How was yours with your mom?" His right-hand steadies the small of your back while his left one clutches yours to help settle you into your seat. It's hard to focus on the question he just asked when the scent from outside seems to heighten the attraction you already feel towards him, "It was good," you manage to say, reaching for the silverware to begin digging into your food, "Thank you... For helping me," the distance between your stomach and the table now is something you've been trying to get used to as well as the turmoil of trying to stand and sit.

"Anytime."

A blush floods your cheeks when he holds your timorous stare, so you avert your eyes to your dinner, letting the obvious feeling of Namjoon watching deepen the red shade on your skin. A few minutes disappear into time before you feel a shove against your abdomen from the inside. Your hand instinctively flies to press upon the baby bump, Namjoon jumping at the motion, stopping mid-chew, while his eyes enlarge in surprise.

"It's okay," you chortle at his reaction, "it's just the baby kicking," his response reminds you of the moment you felt the baby kick for the very first time- similar to a weird flutter that's hard to describe, and it had taken you a second to realize what it was exactly- just your baby making its presence known to you. Namjoon swallows the bite of food in a nervous gulp, the pang of his silverware mutes from where he lays it on the napkin.

"Here," you murmur affectionately preparing to stand to your feet. Namjoon immediately jolts from his chair, rounding the table to gather your hand in his. Instead of relying on his strength to help you position yourself, you plop back onto the seat, sliding his hand to the area where the baby kicked a few minutes prior. Namjoon kneels to level with you, his plump lips ajar mirroring the widen stance of his eyes while he patiently waits, his nervous heart pounding in his temples. It's the exuberant joy in his smile that meets his eyes in a dazzling glow the pure second the baby kicks again, and the bliss of delight smothers your heart in so many ways imaginable at this moment the pair of you are capturing together. Your hand remains resting upon his while your eyes lock repudiating from breaking contact.

"I told you that you don't have to do this alone," he whispers, and it's then you come to the awareness of how near his face is from yours, his dimples visible from his smile to the point you press your lips to each one, shocked at your act of boldness, but you can't refrain. He's too handsome and too wonderful to stay away from any longer. That's all the invitation needed, for Namjoon's lips brush yours igniting the sparks of what you've been trying to suppress for way too long. Your fingers find his hair when he leans to deepen the kiss, moving his hands to rest on the chair, fingers pressing into the wood until pale white.

At this moment, you don't care what anyone thinks.

You are in love with Kim Namjoon, and there is nothing in this world that's going to scare you away from that.

-Present day-

The pitch black outside the window brings frustration when you awaken to scold yourself for how long you've slept. Gathering yourself once the fatigue rolls off, you cautiously sit up, scooting to the bedpost until you're on your feet. Taking a trip to the restroom, you notice upon exiting the clock on the wall reads seven pm, and you wonder if Namjoon has made it inside for the evening. It's eerily quiet save for the air conditioning, but you pause when you see the lights are on in the main area of the building. Shrugging, you waddle around the corner until the sudden shouts of, "SURPRISE!", nearly knocks you to the ground.

Gasping, your eyes widen while your hand flies to your chest. A prolonged second interferes before your brain deciphers the two individuals cheering before you. Numerous pink and blue balloons hover to the top of the ceiling matching the colors of a cloth decorating the one table now adorned with a cake and wrapped gifts. "What?" You can barely speak from the light headiness taking over, but the tears that well in your eyes when you see the boxy smile of your best friend sends you in an attempt to run just to crash into his arms. He meets you halfway, surrounding you within his embrace as he rocks you back and forth muffling your wails of joy into his checkered sweater. Your soaked cheeks are wiped away from the material as been done countless times before, and his tepid palms squish your cheeks when he steps back to gesture toward your belly.

"Wow look at you! Your belly is huge!"

"I'm still in denial of how fast this pregnancy is going!" You say breathlessly, you're so happy to see Taehyung, you can hardly contain your composure. Namjoon steps forward with his hand reaching to squeeze your best friend's shoulder. Taehyung's fiery strands are curled upon his forehead, lustrous beneath the lights as it always has before, "Your father let you come?" There's a seriousness behind your voice at the question because you are cognizant of the fury Tae's father has against the church from the events that occurred what, in some ways feels like a lifetime ago.

"Well, no," Taehyung winces mischievously, "I told him that Namjoon and I were going to a basketball game,"

"Of course, you did, you sly fox,"

"You know you love me," Tae pecks your forehead before leading you to the table where the sweet whiff of cake flatters your nostrils.

"You guys didn't have to do this," you're still wiping tears off your face, though it's evident that your crying is from untainted gratitude, "What did I do to deserve the two of you?"

Namjoon kneels, intertwining his long fingers with yours, using the tip of his thumb to tickle circles upon your skin, "Taehyung mentioned how when you were kids that you loved surprises, especially if it involved a small party of some sort so," he tilts his head toward Taehyung, "And I knew how much you missed him, too. I just wanted to do something to celebrate you. And, the baby,"

It doesn't take much to smother this man in kisses nowadays, and once you express your thankfulness to the men before you, Namjoon reads your mind, snatching a small kiss in return.

"You two are on kissing terms, again?" Taehyung teases while you poke your tongue at him in mild embarrassment. Namjoon does not know of the moment you and Tae shared, and that's something you're not ready to talk about, and with the cutesy scrunch of Namjoon's face, the memory escapes to the back of your mind for now.

By the end of the night, the frosting had met all three of your faces- some smushed into Taehyung's hair while some swiped across Namjoon's neck, and your eyebrows are smeared along with the possible suspicion of some getting up your nose. Cleaning the mess takes a while, but nobody in the room would trade it for anything, and it's good stalling to prevent the night from completely ending.

Walking Taehyung to his car is the only dread overwhelming your system because you're not sure of when you will get to see him next. Tears flood your eyes, breaking Taehyung's heart as an awe of shame gusts past his lips, "I'm sorry, [Y/N]. My dad's expecting me home soon,"

"I don't want you to go," you choke, on the brink of bursting at the seams- Tae fumbles to tighten his arms behind your back- him trying to be mindful of your abdomen being pressed too firmly against his frame.

"Please don't cry," he whispers near your ear, "Please, please don't cry," His lips curl from the tears burning within his own eyes wishing with all his strength he could rid of the aching hurt that has kept your friendship separated. Tae swiftly pulls away when he remembers another present, he meant to give you earlier, whirling around to unlock his car, bending into the vehicle while his hands shuffle around the floorboard in a desperate search for whatever he wants to show you. When he turns to face you, a sharp inhale of glee echoes into the night- the lopsided plush of a heart is attached to a blue body ornamented with yellow polka dots that match its mouth. "Oh my gosh!" You squeal, "Tae, it's adorable! Where did you find this?"

Wiggling his eyebrows in pride, he hands it to you, "I made it myself. And," he pauses for effect, "since you have trouble naming things, I did the honors and named it for you. I introduce, Ta Ta."

"Ta Ta?"

"Yeah, like 'Ta Ta... for now,'"

"Just when I thought I couldn't love your dork of a self even more," you exhale, slamming your eyes shut just to bury your face further into his chest, not able to breathe in his scent from the clog of mucus stuffing your nose.

"I love you, too." His voice thickens with emotion, "Now, quit saying it like you're never going to see me again, because you know I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?" Your cold nose moves to press into the corner of his jaw where steady breaths move between your parting mouth. It's a serene moment where he turns just enough to glimpse at you, engaging in the beauty he's always found within your heart. Taehyung's agape lips now rest centimeters from yours when his large hands raise to rest his fingertips along your flushed cheeks- the curls of his frizzy hair pressing to your forehead, prickling your closing eyes. You discover your free hand enfolding around his wrist from the daunting desire looming from what's been left unspoken, and the shiver in his breathing brushes your chin once the light touch of his nose cuddles to yours. You both stand there for a seeming reel of eternity, battling the inward mayhem of choice that's displayed itself on the invisible line tempting to be traversed.

"I promise."

He hadn't kissed you, but there was no denial that he wanted to, especially with the way your face has haunted his dreams since the night your lips met in emotional patterns of sorrow. But, deep down, he knows it's too obvious of a choice if the one for him is to be you, but the love that has been kept for you will never go away. The same as a tether of your heart will forever be his no matter how deep your love goes for someone else. Kim Taehyung will always be your poise- your muse- the soulmate of a friendship that you will always need.

Toddling to the nursery upon Tae's departure still presents the boiling tears from your tired eyes dripping off your cheeks as you set Ta Ta beside the koala plushie Namjoon gifted you; the humor involving the struggle of both Taehyung and Namjoon carrying the crib Namjoon built for the baby taunts a smirk at the corner of your lips. It's dark besides the faint light of the hallway behind you, giving you just enough to admire the scenery around you- sniffling back what you can before reaching to cover your quivering chin with your hand. You've missed Taehyung. You miss him. And, how beautiful of Namjoon to surprise you with your best friend's presence? Reuniting the three musketeers from once upon a time?

Little do they know, from the unearthing of your pregnancy to now, the two men have mended your broken heart and stitched it back together again piece by piece. You're highly uncertain of where you would be without them, and just the thought alone is one you refuse to dwell on. While memories turn like a spindle of loosened thread, a revelation halts you in your tracks. The thought rings loud and clear gracing a wide smile on your face while one more set of tears dampen the corner of your eyes.

After scolding yourself for so long for not thinking hard enough on the subject,

right here, hands grasping the handlebar of your future child's cradle,

you finally have a name picked out for your little one.

-

2 months later....

"Namjoon, I'll be fine," the pointed look you flash him prompts a nervous chuckle once his hands rest to rub gently along your sides. He's concerned as he's been almost the entire pregnancy, but of course, now his worries are heightened to an extreme, "I'm not due until next week. Don't worry,"

"I know," he groans, tugging you closer just enough to plant a warm to kiss to your neck, "But, I can't help it."

"I'll be fine," you drag the word with a teasing sound of a whine. Namjoon shaking his head at you with a smile you're now feeling upon your lips. "Mm," you hum into his kiss, your hands sliding to squeeze his shoulders in reaction to how impeccable it feels. You end the moment simply to gaze at him, "You'll be back before you know it," you assure him- his trip to the grocery store being the plan for the afternoon.

"Okay," he says tenderly, eyes flickering to your lips once more before leaning to brush them to his own, "I love you,"

There's a small pause, one that entails warmth smothering your chest in giddy sensations when his eyes steal yours after pulling away, "I love you, too, Joon," watching him head out the door until the truck disappears along the road.

Of course, the day doesn't go accordingly the way you expect, because on carefully prodding to the kitchen in preparation to cook breakfast, a slight ache ensues within your abdomen. "Oh," you groan, stroking the area with your fingertips before deciding to lay down for a bit instead. When reaching your room, the sharp pain of a cramp returns causing a harsh cringe as you lean against your bedpost, hardly able to concentrate on the attempt of climbing onto the mattress. You remain hunched over for five minutes, forcing slow breaths to prevent from panicking, and when you find the coast to be clear, you straighten yourself out.

Suddenly, before you can comprehend what's happening, a gush of water splatters onto the carpet soaking your feet in the process.

"No," you whisper, eyes frantically scanning your room for your cell phone. Namjoon shouldn't be far with the grocery store only being a few miles away, but in order to get a hold of him, you must find your only way of contacting him. Hands pat your bed, thrusting off the bed covers and shaking them roughly, yet no 'thump' is heard before you cast the covers in a pile onto the ground. The next destination leads to the restroom, with no luck of your phone being in your bedroom- when another wave of pain shoots within your stomach, you gasp, trying to endure through the discomfort with all your might.

Leaving a water trail behind with every step you take, you desperately search the countertops before stepping into the area that holds the kitchen, wondering if there is any possibility it may have been left behind there. Your feet meet the cool surface of the tile floor, your gape scanning the entirety of the space before a pant of relief escapes past your dry lips the second your shaking hands gather the device. "Agh!" A contraction surges, hands squeezing your phone unintentionally, yet you grimace just enough to maintain your focus on the task at hand. Managing to get the phone ringing, it doesn't take long until you hear the man of your dreams at the other end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Joon, it's time," you choke, voice thick with pain.

"Oh, shit! Hold on tight, I'm on my way, just hold tight, I'm coming-"

You just happen to be running by the church in favor of dropping off the work truck keys to your father when he unintentionally introduces you to the new employee you assume he plans to hire, "[Y/N], this is Kim Namjoon. He's going to be taking care of the church grounds for us, isn't that wonderful?"

"Hello, it's nice to meet you," you greet, underlyingly suffering from the attraction swarming to your reddening cheeks. When your father mentioned of hiring, you never anticipated the person to be this overwhelmingly breathtaking.

"It's nice to meet you too, Ma'am," Namjoon's polite nod mirrors the dimples evident from a soft grin, his hand reaching for yours to shake before your father continues the tour of the place you've grown up memorizing. But something initiates you to stay, eyes lingering on the back of the tall figure decked in a turtleneck covered by a green jacket complementing a pair of jeans along with brown shoes. There's a spark of intuition that day, one that ignited the prominent determination that you want to get to know this person even if your father ends up finding out.

Namjoon busts through the door with pure alarm etched in his voice, "[Y/N], I'm here! Baby, I'm right here," he immediately jumps to where you are, keeled over on the floor, throwing his arm around you until he lifts you out of the fellowship hall and into the work truck. Words you attempt to form are muted by whimpers, tears brimming your eyes from the pain that doesn't end, "I'm going to grab the suitcase, I'll be right back," time must be faster than you can measure for Namjoon arrives, slinging the suitcase into the backseat before slamming into the driver's side.

It takes a while for the newly found employee to warm up to every opportunity you take in order to get to know him. One thing he's slowly but surely learning is that you're not one to give up so easily- something you've noticed him picking up on, especially on days, you annoy him when he's on call to build a project. You make it clear to talk to him nonstop until he acknowledges your existence, and the times he doesn't breathe a word results in a call to Taehyung.

"Come help me," you plea hearing Taehyung's exasperated sigh on the other line.

"You are so annoying,"

"You know you love me, fool," you gloat because with defeat, your best friend reluctantly joins you, even accompanying a basketball just in case if Namjoon happens to fancy sports. Your girlfriends, Luna and Jo, were informed of your undying crush on the mysterious worker, crossing their arms in jealousy that you half-heartedly ignored.

"He doesn't even come to the services," Jo droned, "Don't you think it'd be best to get to know someone that's more... active in the church? Like the pianist's son, Min Yoongi. You two had such a cute relationship when you were three-"

You can't get past why no one seems to understand that you must win Namjoon over, and though Luna and Jo have seen the world along with you since childhood, you roll your eyes, turning on a heel, "I'll catch you later,"

Tires screech along the road while Namjoon swerves past cars on the highway, hands ghost white from the tight grasp he has upon the steering wheel. Meanwhile, your hand grips the bar above you while your other rests upon your belly- the keenness of getting to hold your baby in your arms is all you're thinking about other than Namjoon who's keeping you sane.

"Just a few more miles and we will be there. Just breathe," his voice is unsteady from the fright of this situation, but he upholds his enlarged gaze upon the road. He fumbles for his phone- trying to contact anyone from your family in order to tell them the news.

"GAH!" Leaning forward, a wail echoes within the vehicle as another contraction attacks.

"You guys aren't going to stop until I'm your friend, am I right?" Namjoon's elbows are folded from the hold he has on the basketball meeting his chest. Tae jumps sporadically in front of him with outspread arms preparing to prevent the ball from flying into the hoop.

"Damn straight," you shrug your shoulders in observation of Namjoon's tilting head.

"I thought church girls didn't cuss,"

"And I thought you'd have more game than the basketball," You retort.Tae halts, straightening his frame, eyes flickering between you and a quiet Namjoon, "Now hurry up. If you win, I will leave you alone for good. If Tae wins then we treat you to dinner and a movie. How does that sound?"

With an incredulous shake of his head, Namjoon smirks, "Okay," the scuffle of his converse is heard on the pavement when he briefly turns to toss the ball toward the hoop. The basketball pangs the ring, twirling ferociously to the point, your heart begins to sink, but to your pleasure, the ball tips off the rim, landing in a rejoicing Taehyung's arms.

"HAH!" You sprint, colliding into Taehyung's embrace while Namjoon tries to stifle the smile overtaking his lips, "Looks like it's going to be a burger and fries' kind of night," you wink, unaware of the hope that Namjoon has of wanting to gain your friendship just as much.

The hospital entrance appears after the rush of Namjoon turning into the parking lot soon helping you out of the truck. The suitcase will have to wait being he can retrieve it later, his ultimate goal is getting you within the building to where you're safe. "It's okay, it's okay," he tries to appear relaxed, but everything becomes a blur until a nurse with fluffy, black hair approaches with a wheelchair to help settle you in. His nametag reads 'JIMIN' – him rolling you quickly down the hall when the presence of a female nurse whose nametag reads 'MONNIE' helps you change into the nightgown upon arrival of the hospital room. Voices are mingling together from the pounding in your temples, but Monnie keeps her hands gentle on your back to lead you to the bed where she hooks you up to what seems like a million machines whilst providing as much comfort to you as possible.

Namjoon's calloused hand covers yours when one other nurse, Jungkook, floods the room, bringing a chair for him to sit in. You're not sure of all the commotion that's overwhelming the room, but you steady your breathing as Namjoon directs, squeezing his hand through each contraction. You recognize the doctor, Kim Seokjin, a tall man already dawned in a scrub hat, mouth mask and gloves, scurrying to where you are, "Alright, I am going to check your dilation Ms. [Y/N], just breathe in and out." Slamming your eyes shut, you whimper from the discomfort, "Alright, she is dilated three centimeters. Once you are at ten centimeters [Y/N], you will begin pushing. No worries, I will alert you as soon as I need you to begin. Keep breathing. Everything will be okay,"

"Taehyung... My mom... Dad-" you murmur deliriously between breaths, the foggy sense of your conscious outweighing how to speak properly.

"No worries baby, they're on their way. They're on their way right now," he sweetly kisses your perspired forehead, running his free hand through your tangled hair.

The three musketeers were official after the day at the basketball hoop, eventually learning of Namjoon's atheism as well as him providing for his family.

"My dad couldn't find a job that pays enough, so I promised him that I will do whatever it takes," it had been six months since Namjoon had been hired, and currently is finishing his final paint to the shed while you and Taehyung sit Indian style in the grass. "Thanks to the job here, I can afford the rent for my parents as well as give them my car since here, I just use the work truck..." Namjoon sharing more in-depth with his life story- you finally get what you've been determined to gain since meeting him.

It's weeks later that you'll never forget, leaning against a mini, red monkey bar after sharing your feelings toward the man you've grown so fond of. There's no denying the feelings he's had for you, and once he inches closer, the crave to hold his hand has never been stronger. Boldly, your fingers trail to intertwine with his, your nerves close to getting the best of you despite the persistent smile that hasn't left him. When you find the bravery to look up at him, he swallows calmly before leaning in, you stand on your tiptoes to meet halfway until your lips touch. The slide of his arms encompassing your frame feels so inviting when he presses his body to yours. The world is put on pause to you and nothing else matters other than the way his lips move so elegantly- your arms wrapping around his shoulders while he sways you from side to side.

Time doesn't seem to speed up through all this pain, but the adrenaline swimming in your veins peaks when Dr. Seokjin prepares to check your dilation again. "Ten centimeters-" He confirms, "Alright, [Y/N], the baby's coming. When I say push, you push. Okay," he positions himself though you can't see anything past your gown and raised knees, "One, two, three! Push!"

"AGH!" You grunt, a small scream vibrating at the back of your throat once you push with every fiber of strength, you can muster.

"Breathe, breathe," Namjoon's hand hasn't once left yours- sweat pouring from your scalp while the burning agony overpowers your body.

"Is she here!?" The click of darting heels enters the room and are loud enough for it to catch your attention. "Oh, honey, I'm here!" It's your mother- scampering to your side with the undeniable blur of Taehyung's red hair following suit. You want to ask where your father is, but before a chance is given, the doctor shouts, "Push!"

"AAAAAAAGH!" You manage, body straining in all its entireness. Taehyung jolts to let you squeeze his hand along with Namjoon's. His features show nothing but fear at the sight of you being in so much strife, yet he holds it together enough to cheer you on.

"I'm- I'm so glad you both are here," you cry- another sixty seconds drifting before the shout of, "Push!" erupts.

"I'm scared," you murmur in the dimness of the room. On your knees, Namjoon's soothing hands glide along the tops of your thighs motivating you to run your hands along his forearms. You don't know where your parents are, and you're too angry to care. You're bushed of the fighting so, you sought comfort in being here, with Namjoon. Taehyung dropped you off at the fellowship hall with the promise of not breathing a word- because if your parents were to find out remotely of your whereabouts, you'd hate to discover what the consequences will be.

"Me too," his nervous eyes investigate every inch of your face. You've never been with anyone this way before- secretly hidden away from the world outside trying to suppress the revealing crave of what you're curious about. Scooting forward, you drape either leg around him, propping yourself enough to where your arms lace around his neck.

His breath hitches from the gesture- your lips erotically aligning with his in slow movements, heat rising below you when you feel the hardening of his being beneath your sense, "I want you," you whisper. He knows that you're a virgin, and with care, he lays you on the bed, hovering above your frame where your bodies align perfectly. "Are you sure this is what you want," concern consumes his countenance, but you desperately bring your hands to cup his cheeks.

"I don't think I've wanted anyone so much in my life,"

You gasp into his kiss where he slips his tongue along yours- the sensation one you've grown used to from the slovenly kisses leading up to this very night. You give Namjoon permission to sneak his large hands underneath your shirt, trailing up your ribcage before swallowing your breasts whole in his heated palms. Nipples so sensitive, your heat drenches the moment he realizes the effect it has on you just by merely brushing the rising buds, lipping at your neck while he basks in the beauty of your moans. "More," you beg, "Please, Joon, more." When clothes start to be thrown off, you're determined to pleasure him, but have not an idea on how to do so. "Show me," you breathlessly demand, Namjoon's palm leading yours to encircle his twitching being. You stroke his erection as shown, biting your lower lip from the throbbing feeling of your core- him instantly finding your entrance to fill it with his fingers as carefully as he can- both of you pleasuring each other, yet still getting lost in kissing so deeply, the two of you forget to gasp for air. The sensation of heated pressed bare skin can be the most beautiful thing, especially with the way your legs entangle with his. You're surprised the feel of his prodding fingers didn't bring as much discomfort as you would have originally anticipated, but when he brings a hand to his penis, he rubs his tip along your slit letting the sloppy sound of you leak onto it. "Holy shit," he moans from how soaked you are for him- his fingertips finding your clit while yours dig into the backs of his shoulders.

Smoldering kisses move from your lips to your breasts, down your abdomen to your inner thighs where you tense underneath his touch that slides to hold your bottom half where he can scan your heat. The tip of his tongue swipes upon your slit excruciatingly slow to the point your fingers tangle with the material of the bedsheets. The smacking sound of his lips savor your taste while his tongue circles your core- you're hyperventilating from how deliciously he flicks his tongue upon your slit, screaming his name relentlessly- the speed of his skilled mouth driving you wild from the growing climax beckoning your stiffening thighs, "Oh, Namjoon, oh- Joon- I- Oh!"

He's not ready for you to finish because there's more he wants to show you. Hovering above you once again to see you coming down from your high, your heaving chest longs for his touch, and he nearly comes undone from the smile embellishing your face. His tracing fingertips parade along the outline of your body in featherlike tickles while the sounds of panting breaths mingle with shifting sheets bring subtle music to your ears for the rest of the night. The gentle parting of his lips grasps your own in smooth movements persuading arousal streaming from your core. Your fingers now link with frilly tufts of his hair, gripping the strands in reaction to the pressing of his bare chest to yours, dreaming of nothing more than to be entwined with him for what you hope will be forever. Hips grinding into yours prompts the light moan teasing his ears for more before his mouth trails to pause above your pounding heart. His hair brushing your chin, your arms glide to wrap around him holding the hope that he will never let you go. Not even for a second.

"Alright, one more! Almost done! Push!"

Sucking in one long breath, with a compulsory scream, you push with all you have left in you. Exhaustion weakens your limbs, yet a rush of relief floods your body when the cries of an infant reverberate within the room. With heavy eyes, you turn to see your mother with tears cascading down her face and onto the back of her hand covering her agape mouth- eyes remaining locked in front of her. Taehyung's gaze doesn't drop though his fingers loosen from yours at the small bundle immediately apprehending the eyes of every individual. Right then, you move your head to your other side where Namjoon gradually rises in awe- his hand still has yours. Gathering any ounce of strength, you're ready to see the child you've been waiting to hold for nine months, so cautiously you sit up until your stare meets Dr. Seokjin's. You can see the smile in his eyes despite the mouth mask, and what he says next brings you to tears, "It's a girl,"

"Oh!" You thrill, anxious to meet her while the nurses scurry to clean her up.

"Sir, would you like to do the honors?" The doctor gestures a pair of scissors towards a stiffened Namjoon whose eyes are welled with hushed tears. He can't even speak, yet he nods from the happiness exploding beneath his chest.

"Wait," Your mom says, "Is- is?"

It's a moment that seems to fit the setting for your father walks in, as if on cue, shoulders slumped from the anticipating tension now darkening the room. Taehyung's shoulders tensed at the sight of the man he despises, but for the sake of you, Namjoon and his Godchild, he keeps his composure enough to ignore the elephant now standing in the room. The fear that used to consume you upon your dad unraveling the truth about your secret vacates you when you know that you and the two men present can conquer anything.

"Yes," the answer is to your mother, but your stern glower of warning is only connected with your dad's although your mother's stare remains on you, "Namjoon is the father."

Namjoon stands with pride while he accepts the pair of scissors from Dr. Seokjin- your father, with a shocked expression, watches as the man he hired happens to be the same man who stole his daughter's heart without his knowledge. Yet, he refrains from anger, because who is he to ruin such a precious moment about to unfold here?

Pictures are taken of Namjoon cutting the umbilical cord, his fingers gently rubbing his daughter's cheek while he wipes at the tears dripping from his eyes. Jungkook takes her into his arms to weigh her before wrapping her in a plush pink blanket, "She is seven pounds and five ounces,"

Endless joy envelops your heart from the scene playing out before you; especially, when the vision of your father's quivering chin, admiring his granddaughter leaves you speechless along with the hope of redemption entering your beating heart.

"Are you ready to hold her?" Monnie's kind eyes match her smile when she touches your arm.

"Yes," you stifle a sob, "I want to hold her,"

Monnie poses her arms to where Jungkook places your daughter, Monnie guardedly turns to rest your baby into your arms. Her small face chortles, her eyes closing while she puckers her tiny lips. "She's so perfect," you cry, love in all its beauty falling from your eyes while you watch your daughter's fingers fold individually upon her chest.

"Just like you," Namjoon whispers, locking eyes with you before inching forward to give you a loving kiss.

"I love you, Joon," you whisper, pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth.

"I love you, too."

"Uh," the deep serenade of your best friend interrupts, all attention abruptly turning to see him raise an index finger in the air, "So, as the Godfather, I must ask a very serious question," the room chuckles along with him as they patiently wait for his request, "What's her name?"

"Ah," you nod, realizing that hasn't been made known to anyone other than to yourself. Your mother steps forward to place her hand upon your shoulder while your father keeps his distance enough to not cause any trouble- though the two of you share a small smile to let him know all is well. Namjoon watches you in admiration- the woman of his dreams holding his child in her arms while facing her deepest fear yet holds her head with pride about the man she will spend the rest of her life with along with her daughter swaddled to her chest. You are everything he's ever longed for and more, and he's ready to defeat any storm in life if it's with you and his daughter.

To answer Tae's question though, you return to face him, tears gathering in exhilarating bliss.

"Taejun." Her eyes slightly open at the hearing of her name as a tiny smile adorns her lips,

"Her name is Kim Taejun."

[kimlinecafe]

A Star Among Lights: part one

genre: actor! singer!Jin x actress reader, occasional drama, lot’s of  humor, maybe fluff, on screen romance, slight nsfw, i just hope you enjoy! 

word count: 10,502k

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“ACTION!”

Jin, leans into you, his lingering breath smells of mints as he moves your hair from your face starting on his lines, “But Min-na have you ever felt this feeling before, or have you only felt lost?”

You stare for your five seconds before starting on your lines “Hyun-seok, you don’t understand what it’s like to feel so alone in a room full of people, to sit and have your reflection, stare back at you and all you can do is feel so empty inside.”

You pause for five long seconds before Jin nods to himself, still in character as the director shouts a loud, “CUT!” 

You still feel your ears ring from the power in his voice as you step away from Jin, as he smiles at you, before you both turn politely bowing to all your staff members.

“Let’s call it a day, please be back tomorrow fresh and early and y/n can you stay for a bit I need to discuss some things with you.” 

You nod as you walk over to your hair and make-up to remove them before keeping your eyes peeled for Jin in your mirror watching him from your spot, gosh can this man get any more handsome? 

You think to yourself as you see his stylist unbutton his top before you shift your eyes down, he radiates confidence, when he’s normally really shy. You know this from the way he acts outside of work, how his ears turn a deep shade of red, even his face from when everyone turns their attention to him.

 It’s just too cute, but the sad thing is. 

Jin, has someone who makes his heart melt, and that isn’t you. You sigh as you remember that tidbit of information whenever you feel yourself become drawn to him. The way he holds your gaze when you’re both in character, to his arms wrapped around your waist during award shows and presenting yourself, your show has been going on for one season and became popular by high demand which to both of you was unexpected, so here you both are filming season two, but with the unexpected success came unexpected popularity. 

For one of you.

 That one happened to be Kim Seokjin, himself. He didn’t exactly enjoy it as much as he pretends to give off. You two were close enough to know that. 

As your stylist removes your make-up, she has you stand so you can remove the outwear that your character’s clothes. Quickly glancing you see Jin, smiling in your direction, as you give a small wave in his, he does the same. 

 You look down as take a breath as you reach for your blazer, pulling your arms through the holes as you grab your purse, getting ready to leave the studio. You then remember your director has something he wishes to speak to you about. 

Sighing you stand in your spot as you turn away from the door walking back to your sitting area, upon looking around you see Jin speaking to your director. Tilting your head you keep your eyes on them to see what they may be speaking about. 

Sighing as you give up, leaning back in your chair as you take your phone out scrolling through twitter, checking your follower count, shaking your head at all your followers, then checking your mentions scrolling through the madness as you see pictures of you and Jin, yourself, Jin and his girlfriend, fan letter threads, etc. It’s usually the same, as you click on the photo of Jin and his girlfriend letting curiosity eat away at you, looking at how pretty she is, you feel your own self esteem dwindle just a tad, especially as you look up and there she is, standing waiting for Jin with her small coin purse and flowers. 

Great, he must have told her that we only recently started filming again, since all last week was script reading and casting. 

As she stands there waiting for him, you glance over at him and the director both staring at you. Raising a brow, you rise to your feet walking over to them.

“There seems to be a problem and I feel like it’s me, so what’s the matter,” you start as you cross your arms over chest. 

Jin smirks shaking his head as you look up at him pouting, turning to your director.

“Y/n, I originally wanted to talk to you alone, but Jin suggested something for the show as an additional add on, and now I would like your opinion on it, before we even think of casting.”

Casting?

You nod, following, “Alright, what is this add on to the show?” 

Jin smiles as he looks at the director. The director releases a sigh, “We want to add a child to the cast, wouldn’t that be an addition? Mina-na and Hyun-seok with their own kid? I mean everyone who watches the show already sees you two together why not add a child to this mix?”

He waits for your approval and your eyes widen for a moment as you think about what to say next. You understand that your characters are well into their age, unless Jin’s character did something in previous years that couldn’t have been mentioned in the first season but hinted at. 

Nodding to yourself as Jin and the director both look at you puzzled, “Alright, we can but how can we propose this thought into the show?” 

“We already have an idea, but you’ll find out on Monday. Go enjoy your weekend, we have lots of casting to get through today and this weekend. So y/n, Jin, go out and enjoy yourselves. Also Jin, Mi-sun is here.” 

Jin, glances at her smiling before looking back at us both bowing and smiling as he makes his leave. You bow back as you give a small wave towards Mi-sun who waves back politely. You watch him slip his arm around her waist as she hands him the flowers, which earns her a kiss on the cheek and soft giggles erupting from her. 

Chewing the inside of your cheek, as you bow to your director and make your way towards the door, pushing through it and your chauffeur waiting for you with the door open to the black SUV that picks you up and drops you off everyday, seeing ahead Jin and Mi-sun get into the one in front of you. 

It was probably going to be like this everyday, you thought. Leaning back in your seat, you pulled your seat-belt on. Upon hearing the click you pulled your phone out from your bag, scrolling through your twitter feed, you weren’t following many people so you didn’t see anything new. 

You put your phone down in your lap as you stare out the window looking at all the houses and buildings. You know soon you’ll get to film in houses, with your rising stardom, you know you will with this show, seeing as they have funding for you to film in actual places instead of just renting for a few days, they can purchase them for future references. 

You hear your phone ding in your lap as you turn it over seeing a message from Jin, you open it open to read what it says.

Jin: Did you get the new script yet? 

It seems like they had this idea before 

I suggested the change, I mean wouldn’t 

it be so cute to see where this will all go?! 

I mean we are going to have a child on set!

You shake your head smiling, why must he be like this? Responding back with…

                                                    You: I didn’t, if you got the script before me,

                                                  I smell favoritism! But it will be something new,

                                                                       I wonder how old the child will be.

                                              I bet you your character did something in the past, 

                                                and watch it’s going to be tragic but turned happy. 

                                                                                              You just watch, Jin. 

You turn your phone face down as you don’t want to see another notification. 

How can he so casually texting you while being with his girlfriend? You remember your last relationship and doing that, and your ex would just hover over you constantly and it bothered the hell out of you. You sigh, as you lean your seat back, closing your eyes allowing yourself to just drift off to sleep. 

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Jin, sat near the window while Mi-sun sat at the other spot, she really only acknowledged him when in the presence of others. She asked him out when his last season ended, but she changed when the fame of the show came too. He didn’t want to tell y/n how long they’ve really been dating as they had to do show promotion and go to plenty award shows after, the amount of split awards they shared. The ones meant for the show they let their director keep. Where as when it was an award for the actors themselves, he kept it as did y/n. Their show was called Where We Belong, the title threw him off when he first read the script as a rising actor and y/n first time acting in something other than commercials and as a background character, the amount of potential she has is phenomenal. Jin, at first was surprised, especially with her amount of self esteem and lovable confidence. 

 As he looks down at his phone seeing her responses, he smiles. Okay, so maybe he did get the new script already seeing how the director and screenwriter wanted this all to go. 

Reading how often you and the young child interacted, he was kind of fond of those moments you and the young child will be sharing. He has many moments with the child. He’s unsure the age of the child, it just says “child”. No age. No gender. Not even a name. 

He looks at the abandoned flowers left on the seat as he glances at her staring out the window. Some days, he wishes he and Mi-sun could go back to how they were when they first started dating. The sweet texts, and making sure the other is okay. Just what other couples do. But they’re not like other couples he guesses. 

He sighs as he too begins to stare out the window.

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You feel a light tap on your shoulder as you slowly open your eyes, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, as you see your apartment building come into view. You thank your chauffeur as you step out of the vehicle. Walking to the doors you smile politely as you walk through the door that’s been pulled open by the doorman, you bow walking straight in, keeping your smile on until you make it to the elevator watching the doors close smoothly after you.   

You heave a sigh as you wait to reach your floor, watching the light go from floor to floor. Standing upright when you finally reach your floor, walking out of the elevator as soon as the doors open, beginning to dig through your purse to find your phone.

Upon stopping in front of your door, you type in the pin hearing the ding, you pull the door out walking in pulling the door closed behind you as you hear it lock. Kicking your slip ons off and slipping your feet into your slippers walking to your room, which consisted of your bed, a bookshelf and your closet, where you opened the door and threw your purse in there.

After work was always boring for you, you enjoyed your job because outside of work all you do is sit at home and watch other dramas or script read. There wasn’t much to fame once you had it, yes you had money but you didn’t really need to buy anything. Usually you spent your money on your parents and your bills. In a sense you still felt remotely normal, this is exactly how you did it before fame. 

Chewing on your lip; your old habit, as you look through your closet for a pair of pajamas slipping out of your shirt and jeans, hearing your laptop ding as you quickly pull your shirt over your head, tripping over yourself as struggling to kick off your jeans, rushing to the laptop which sits at your desk, typing in the password quickly you click the email emoticon opening the email to see the new script right before your eyes, printing it off you walk to your kitchen grabbing candy strings coming back chewing on one end, while looking over the prints for the shows new script.

Wondering what the child’s name would be. As you continued reading through the script, you find yourself sitting on the couch becoming immersed in your reading as you feel yourself going through the emotions that Min-na and Hyun-seok are with this new addition and you set the script down, getting up from your spot to go grab some tissues. It’s getting too heavy for you. The feelings you would trade Min-na for your own, she gets a man whose love for her just grows even after their hard times. 

Beginning to wipe your eyes and blow your nose, after washing your hands in your kitchen sink your phone rings as you’re drying your hands, walking over to it you swipe to answer putting the phone to your ears.

“Hello?”

“Ah, you answered did you read it, you have so many parts with the child, I feel so left out this season,”you can just hear Jin pouting as you smile.

“Awe, too bad so sad, but that’s odd in my script- hold on a second you fool! You did get a script before me, that’s favoritism I so called that, I’m disappointed in you for not telling me the truth, Jin. I believed us to be best friends,” releasing a fake cry beginning to laugh.

“Ah hush now, y/n you’ve been a favorite since the start, they just like me now because I’m not as cold as I appear to be, nor come off as haughty as some like to say I do. I’m just good at what I do that’s their problem not mine.”

 Nodding more to yourself remembering how everyone first treated Jin when you first began filming, you never understood why, until you read up on it and after he told you in more detail one of your first months, filming together. You never thought you’d be this close to someone like him, he’s shy, honest, witty, a whole dork from time to time, but he’s also lovable and he’s multi-talented too. 

“Jin, you know I’m teasing, I remember when they treated you like that, and I am glad you aren’t like how others portrayed you, or said you were like, you’re you a whole dork, that we all love and appreciate very much. But still, your acting is superb, I’m surprised after many big hit shows you decided on this with a rookie actress like me.”

Upon hearing your comment Jin begins to laugh hysterically across the line as you roll your eyes, holding the phone away from your ear as you hear what his fans call his windshield wiper laugh, which you do agree it does sound like that, but more human and a sound you become fond of.

Frowning, hearing Mi-sun’s voice in the background become whiny for Jin. 

“Do you have to go, Jin?”

Slight shuffles could be heard from his line as you sit there pulling the strings on your couch, then pulling more candy string out to eat.

“No, no, it’s fine. I called you because I wanted to chat seeing as we didn’t get too for about what, a whole summer and a few months. Besides the point, I need to hang out with you sometime soon, watch movies and eat at your place like we did when we were filming, or we can at my place, it’s up to you, y/n.”

Pondering on the thought you look around your living space, seeing your clothes thrown around your closet, your bed not made, your many scripts laying strew your desk, shaking your head to yourself.

“Maybe your place would be better, seeing as I have many things to clean up especially since my parents will be coming in to town soon to congratulate me on filming season two, ugh Jin why do I do this to myself?”

He chuckles lowly, as you feel your body tingle. Don’t you go against me heart, damn I need to chill.

“That’s fine, I think Mi-sun will be heading out soon anyways. She has to go visit her family.”

His change of tone slightly startles you as it’s very stern, you hear shuffling and a very quiet scoff as you pierce your lips together blowing raspberries before hearing more shuffling and a door shut.

“Jin, are you sure you can talk I don’t wanna sound like nor feel like I’m intruding on something private…”

“It’s okay, Mi-sun, was just having a slight tiffy tantrum but she’s fine, I just left to my room and she left. So I’m here alone, y/n all alone except for the sounds of the river and many cars. Mind joining me or shall I ask my friends to join me?”

Oh god, his friends. Now where do you start there’s…

Kim Namjoon, the kind philosophical romantic, he also currently has a sweet girlfriend, she’s from America and she is Korean like the majority of his friend group, he’s also a musician well a rapper. 

Min Yoongi, he is also a rapper and producer. He’s not exactly one to say much but he is very observant and he may look cold but he’s super sweet and such a lovable person, although you wanted to know more about what he was thinking. 

Jung Hoseok, the talented dancer, with striking features, you had a crush on him for the longest time after Jin introduced you to him. Like really, you mean who wouldn’t he’s very charismatic, loud, smiley, and god-like. But overall a sweet being.

Now, Park Jimin was the sweetest boy any one person could come across he is also a dancer but he sings too, he’s an idol and his latest release is Promise and wow his song hits home you almost went and got a tattoo of it, but you have a contract so you can’t. But you told him how much you admired his song.

Next was Kim Taehyung, his artist, photographer, model friend and you can see why anyone who is anyone would want to be his friend, his features were unreal, when you first met him you almost cried. He was way too handsome. But you contain yourself because his goofy side showed and you found out why he and Jin are so close. 

Lastly was Jeon Jungkook, the cute little artist, photographer, who sings very well but he’s very shy at first and then after your first couple of times meeting him and being around him he opens up and becomes this boy who enjoys working out, eating and taking photos, which you tried to add up but it makes sense if he can do it well.

But you see why he would ask his friends to join him, you love his friends, you wish you had more friends, besides your one. That wasn’t Jin, it was another actor, but he was always busy so you found yourself including yourself in the group chat and texting the boys more as well as Jin, and you felt yourself growing closer to them. Over time that was. You were close enough now to send memes, your personal problems, their personal problems and sex lives. You sometimes didn’t need to know, but these boys were as open as can be. So you yourself decided to open up to them, with your virgin life and actress life. The one who texted you the most, second man to make your heart flutter was Hoseok who in your phone was hobi the angel. He seriously has done things to you and said things that you would never dare to tell another soul which is why you try to now stay home alone and focus your time on acting and well Jin. Jin, the most lovable, the one who makes your heart ache with this need and this ever growing feeling that you just need to be within his reach. Ah, you feel yourself turning into Min-na with your growing love thoughts.

“Y/n, are you going to answer me or should I just invite the boys over to watch movies and chill or we can all chill you know.”

Feeling yourself nod as you phone vibrates with a text message.

“We can do the first, I’ll be over there in ten or fifteen just let me change out of my pajamas.”

Not really comprehending what you just said. 

“Ah! Were you trying to have a sleepover? We can do that too, only if you want like those two times we did, first just us and second with the boys and I caught Namjoon and Nina making out, my gosh. That was something.”

“Jin, hush. Just us, okay. I’ll be over.” 

Quickly walking to your closet, changing into a simple dress grabbing your gym bag shoving clothes for tomorrow and pajamas in there as well as your brush and make-up. You know Jin, didn’t mind girls who were natural but you felt you needed make-up. Jin calls out a later as he hears you packing as he hangs up the phone. You finish with a smile, as you check your phone.

Hobi the angel: hey, y/n I miss you it’s been 

two weeks since you last texted me, 

did I say something wrong, please message me 

back soon… I miss you, beautiful

Your whole face reddens, ah gosh no. Hobi, now? You choose to ignore it further as you close your phone walking to your desk grabbing your laptop and script shoving them both into your bag quickly. Walking to your door you slip your slip ons on, putting your slippers into your bag knowing Jin has extra but there’s never enough for you when he invites the boys over so you decided to bring yours, and that jerk always decides to surprise you by having the boys drop in especially when it comes to your sleepovers, you have only spent the night at his twice, and he never had his girlfriend over, you often wondered if it was okay with her. You know the first time he wasn’t dating her but the second time he was, but there wasn’t just you because Nina was there too. You were unsure if the other boys had girlfriends or not as they never mentioned it, you knew Hobi didn’t as his texts were all sent to you spoke measures which pretty much said he was single. 

As you close your door behind you after turning your lights out you walk down your steps, calling your chauffeur who says they will be in two minutes as you nod, hanging up walking down the steps to take time before arriving on the main lobby floor. Arriving outside your driver takes your bag as he leaves the door open for you, smiling you bow climbing into the car, seeing a few flashes, of course reporters and probably dispatch were watching you. 

You’ll have to detour before arriving at Jin’s place. Not wanting to draw unnecessary drama towards you and Jin while filming. As the car made a few swerves here and there to avoid being caught in the mix of things you look at your phone reading the text over. Gosh, can he not.

Hobi, the one to say something super racy and then act as if nothing happened. You shake your head as you type in your response.

                                                    You: Hey, sorry I’ve been caught up with work 

                                                                  and just exploring you know me, hobi! 

                                                  I miss you as well, we should go for some coffee 

                                                          or lunch something a little public, you know?

After hitting send, you set your phone down in your lap, just as your about to look out the window your phone dings twice.

Looking in your lap you seeing Hobi and Jin texted you. Now to open each of them and read who needs what.

Jin: Ugh, reporters are outside of my 

building again, 

what did you do this time? But no worries, 

I took the precaution the garage is open 

for you to come in, I let your driver know. 

Smiling you send him back a thumbs up and a smiling emoji.

Opening your text from Hoseok, reading over you feel your face flush in embarrassment, looking at your driver quickly as you look back at your phone. 

Hobi the angel: awe, why in public? 

You don’t wanna be alone with me anymore, beautiful? 

But I understand, but I do miss your sweet lips, 

would a kiss be okay, or two maybe a little bite, beautiful?

Chewing your lip as you look out the window, this boy was going to have you flustered before you even met up with Jin for your sleepover. So, yes you and Hobi, made out a few times and have done things that exceeded the “just friends” card but he didn’t ask you for sex, he knew your lines, but you didn’t want anything too serious. Just a low key fling with him. That was it.

You heave a sigh as you do not want to respond to him at the moment, he always wants to be forward, yes he was handsome as hell but you know better than to let your true intentions get blinded.

“We are here miss y/n.”

You smile as you open your door getting out grabbing your bag, as you walk to the elevator; stepping in. Pressing the button for Jin’s floor. Watching the floor numbers light up you look at your phone. Deciding to look at snapchat, seeing Hobi sent you three videos. Please god, please let them be of him dancing. You click on them smiling as it’s him with Yoongi in the studio playing beats for his new soundtrack. You smile as you watch the next video of him playing with Taehyung’s good Yeontan, awe Tannie that cute fluff ball. You wait for the next one of him in the studio dancing to a song you never heard but you like how it sounds. It’s like really hype but sounds familiar. You bob your head to it, as he comes to a quick close to the camera blowing a kiss then grinning. 

Ah god, please Hobi, this man could end me.

Finally arriving on Jin’s floor your heart thumbs as you close your phone stepping out to find his door which is only a few down from the elevator knocking and waiting, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. 

As Jin opens the door he is clad in pajamas already holding a stuffed alpaca. You raise a brow as he opens the door wider for you to enter, kicking your slips ons off you kneel down to grab your slippers and pajamas out.

“If you were just going to appear in pajamas I would have worn my own as well, what is this, Jin?”

He shrugs, smiling as he takes your bag to the couch setting it down. You smile shaking your head as you go to his bathroom stepping in to change, as you pull your pajama shirt over your head, you fix your hair in his mirror. 

Ah, Jin, the feelings you’ve left to build inside of me since the first time I saw you. The way you bowed and smiled and how focused and in character you were. Deep in thought, you feel your hands grip the counter as your head falls, why must he have a girlfriend, why must she be prettier than me, and why must he be so unavailable. 

Sighing to yourself you open the door and, “What the hell, Kim Seokjin, you can’t just stand in front of a door and expect me not to scream!” You pout, clutching your chest as his laughter erupts, you’re left heavy breathing. 

Glaring at him, “you are such a buffoon sometimes, Jin. A buffoon.”

“Thank you, also Hobi is texting you. I didn’t mean to look at your phone it just turned on when he messaged.”

You nod as you grab your phone skimming the messages.

Hobi the angel: baby, please answer me, 

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sound so forward 

I was just- I’m sorry.

Hobi the angel: y/n, please answer my texts, 

can’t we hang out tonight, i know 

what i said was wrong and 

I just want to apologize to you. 

Hobi the angel: Okay, so you’re not answering and 

I sound clingy as hell, but I’m just 

letting you know I’m just gonna go chill at jin’s 

place he invited the guys over for movies.

Fuck. He’s coming. 

As you click to respond you hear Jin’s doorbell ring. How long was i in the bathroom for?

Jin smiles as he sets his plush down on his couch, a movie already set and ready in his over-sized TV, you go and sit down on the couch bringing your legs to a criss cross position. 

“Ah, hi JK! You came, is anyone else behind you or is it just you?”

You turn and see Jungkook smiling as he walks in. 

“You really brought nothing but yourself, JK I thought we were more than this!”

Jungkook smirks as he kicks his shoes off, slipping into the slippers walking over to the couch sitting down jumping slightly when he notices you.

“Goodness, you didn’t tell me y/n was here, I would have brought snacks then, hyung.”

Jin scoffs as he sits down, “so let’s watch this movie until either more of you show up or until take out shows up seeing as neither of you brought food and I’m starving over here.” Jin, grabs the remote starting his movie of choice as you smile sitting back in between Jin and Jungkook watching the movie as the doorbell dings again.

“God, why can’t I ever watch a movie in peace,” he pauses the movie as he grouchily stands up walking over to the door swinging it open, “unless it’s take out what do you want?”

He frowns when he sees it’s Hobi, his shoulders slump and he pouts, “All I want is food is this too much to ask?”

Hobi, shakes his head, grinning, “well hello to you too, Jin hyung.”

You feel yourself sink into the couch as Jungkook glances at you raising a brow as you shake your head, mouthing ‘don’t say a word.’ He nods as he continues to sit unnoticed and staring at the screen. 

“So is it just you and Jungkook here tonight, where’s Mi-sun?”

Jin groans as he shuts the door, or well tries too as a slight yelp could be heard from the other side, Jin quickly opening the door to see Nina and Namjoon on the other side, Nina rubs her head.

“Ow, Jin, didn’t you hear us shout wait or?”

Jin sighs, “I wholeheartedly apologize to Nina, now please come inside before I murder all of you, I am starving.”

They both shuffle their way inside as you chew your lip as you hear Hobi round the couch as he stares at you with his dominant eyes. You feel your heart pick up a beat as Jungkook, gives him a grin before pulling out his phone as you glance at it seeing a pretty girl in the caller I.D. so Jungkook does have a girlfriend. Oh this boy!

You smirk as you turn to raise a brow, daring him to start something here. As Jin walks passed him claiming his spot next to you on the couch as your heart flutters and you feel your eyes become hearts. 

Damn Kim Seokjin the things you make me feel. 

As you watch Jungkook walk out to Jin’s balcony a smile on his face as he leans against the stone top looking probably out at the river, you feel yourself lean into Jin, “I think Jungkook has a girlfriend, Jin.” Jin turns his head to look at you, then leans a little forward to check on Jungkook a coy smile playing on his lips as he gets up from the couch.

Oh no, you didn’t think this through. 

Hobi, takes his chance and sits down beside you as you sit there chewing the inside of your cheek. He leans close enough to you where you can smell his aroma of cologne which makes your head spin. His breathes gently hitting your hair. 

“Y/n, please don’t ignore me anymore, I miss you. I miss having fun with you, please later tonight can we have fun?” He pulls away as he stares at you with his best puppy eyes. 

“Hobi, I can’t I have script reading with Jin tonight and tomorrow so we decided we’ll just have a sleepover.” You shrug feeling his eyes sadden as he nods, leaning back scooting over as another knock on the door moves Jin from spying as he rushes over to the door as Nina and Joon sit down on the loveseat, Joon’s head in Nina’s lap as she finger combs his peachy hair smiling as he closes his eyes.

“THE FOOD IS HERE!” 

Smiling when you hear Jin, as another knock and then his doorbell going off makes him pout, “what now, I got my food and paid.”

He opens the door, as Taehyung stands there with a girl and her holding Tannie. Ooh so Taehyung has a new mystery girl too. Yoongi stands behind them both as he brushes passed the two walking inside going for the food.

“I knew the delivery guy was coming here, you got a ton, hyung? So much for yourself or were you expecting company,” Yoongi raises his brow looking for what to eat.

Taehyung and his lover walk hand in hand, and she’s seems timid compared to him. 

“Yes, of course I knew you were coming and bringing guests and such but I get first choice as this is my place and I’m starving I am near death, so please let me eat first.”

He makes his way passed all the boys to grab his take out before sitting down on the couch opening it starting the movie not waiting for the others, you glance at the balcony JK still out there now sitting with his giddy smile still gracing his young features. 

“Are you going to eat, y/n?” 

You shake your head as you lean back into the couch, facing all your attention to the movie and forgetting everything surrounding you for a while. As the movie plays on you hear everyone come to a slow settle down, resting into the couch as Jungkook finally comes back in about halfway into the movie saying he is going to eat and open the door for a guest he invited as Jin raises his brow before just shaking his head brushing it off. 

Upon hearing the door open and close everyone keeps their eyes glued to the screen except you, you peek behind the couch to see Jungkook’s girl and you swear these boys all date girls who are like them, her dark worn out ripped jeans and platforms, and is that…his leather jacket, he tilts down to kiss her forehead as she leaned into him, she must have said something endearing as his face flushes and his smile brightens, ah you feel even more single right now. 

Turning away from the lovebirds you stare back at the screen, so you did feel a little empty inside, so you did miss the feeling of someone wanting you, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just go through with the fling with Hobi for a while…until all else fails to feel. 

JK and his girlfriend take a seat in the other love seat as you glance over at Tae and his girlfriend who are watching the movie intently, Yoongi is leaning into Tae, who doesn’t mind as Hobi sits on the other side of Jin. 

The only person missing was Jimin. Maybe he had other plans and it’s as if your thoughts become reality as you hear a soft knock on the door. You see Jin intently watching so you get up to open the door and Jimin is standing there with a small girl. She’s so pretty too. Your self esteem is just declining today. 

As you move to let them both in you close the door after them as Jimin and his girlfriend take a seat on the couch. Wow. Looking at all of them from behind you see the young ones are all in a relationships as well as Jin, and Yoongi you’re unsure of. You know Hobi isn’t in one. 

You walk over to the Jin’s spare bedroom going to sit down on the bed he has in there as you pull your phone out, scrolling through your twitter as you check the boys accounts. 

Upon looking at them you really were focused on yourself and Jin for a moment there, you see Jungkook first and all his many pictures with girlfriend who goes by ‘Cloudy’ which is pretty and suits her. Smiling you scroll through all their photos smiling at their closeness and pretty dark aesthetics as well as all their many coupley photos of them kissing, holding hands at night, locking their pinkies together, and back hugs, looking through her profile you grin at her profile pic being of her and JK pressing their foreheads together. Next you look at Taehyung and his girlfriend, she was social, very kind hearted, positive and you can see why Tae was into her. She went by and alias ‘Tea’ which you thought to be cute as you look at all her photos of her with a large mug of tea and covering her face with Taehyung behind her smiling lovingly. After you look at Jimin and wow he must love his girlfriend because she was his background her at a beach wearing a baby pink flowy mini dress blowing in the wind as he captures her and the sunset. You’re in awe, as you look through their coupley photos mostly of them kissing, taking walks, or their hands. She must have been the sweetest ever, her alias you presumed was ‘sweetie’ as her bio said ‘i’m sweeter than sugar but Jimin wouldn’t let you try me.’ you giggled to yourself at that, how cute. Nina you already knew she was a youtuber who moved all the way from California to be with Namjoon. It was cute, she spoke so highly of Joon, as he did her. 

Sighing you looked up Yoongi to see if there was anything you missed about him and wow, even he was dating too. She was definitely his type too, into music, hand holding, sleep, and food but most definitely Yoongi. She had an alias “baby sug’ ” you smile as you scroll through her many photos of her and Yoongi. You see a picture of Cloudy in a few photos and group photos of all the girls. Now this makes you groan, so they are all friends. 

You feel yourself fall back on the bed following each of the girls except Nina as you have been following her since you’ve known of Jin, as you look through their photos you see six girls, raising a brow clicking the last girl. This must be their other friend. Looking through her account you see she’s also a dancer and a damned good one at that as you scroll through her photos and videos. Her alias was ‘sunshine love’ her bio killed you though, ‘will the sun hurt me if I touch it? No, then how come my finger is bleeding from his sharp jawline.’

“Lonely much?”

You look up to see Hobi standing there in the doorway, your breath stops for a brief moment as you quickly follow her twitter. Before turning your phone off. 

“I’m not lonely, I just needed to get away for a moment. Too many couples and I’m still single, you know.”

“I still don’t get how someone as beautiful as you is single. Like that can’t be possible.”

Rolling your eyes, you scoot back on the bed, patting the spot next to you. 

“Hobi, I have a few questions unrelated to either of us, but I feel you may know a bit about them, but after that I’m going to go back out there and we will act as if none of what we said here happened.”

He nods slowly as he crosses the room to sit on the bed next to you, turning resting one knee on the bed his slipper dangling from his foot as he wiggles his foot, and both of you hear the soft plunk of his slipper. 

“What is it, y/n? What’s been on your mind?”

He looks genuinely concerned, so you shake your head, “Oh it’s nothing bad, I was just curious when did the young ones and Yoongi get girlfriends, I checked twitter after seeing the maknaes with girls. So do you know…”

He chuckles, covering his mouth to quiet himself as he grins, “Oh, silly y/n, you should just ask the girls, they’re very kind, well except Sugar as we all call her, she isn’t here right now so maybe have a get together with the girls. They’re pretty open with us guys no harm in them for you, although they may analyze you, they’re very together like that. They may give you a code name or alias as they all did with themselves except Nina who just goes by Nina, unless they won’t tell me. They have their own group chat and we have one big one, although they have another friend who I’ve seen in their posts just never met.” He shrugs in pout as you raise your brow. 

“So you’re telling me those girls, prefer their alias over their names? Or are they popular for some reason?”

“Well you know, Nina she’s a youtuber, but the other girls just prefer that, because they’re not famous. I mean most of us are either idols, actors, or famous dancers. I mean you’re famous so you don’t have to hide yourself where as us we have personas if we were to put it that way, another side of us that we show to those of our fans, and people who adore or like us. Whereas their girlfriends are not to big with the spotlight.”

You nod your head as you hear the movie credits, “Okay, let’s get back out there, I don’t need any cycling rumors starting between us, it’s not good for either of our images especially with this friend group.”

You stand, slipping your feet into your slippers walking into your room, walking back to sit down by Jin, who’s got tears shimmering in his eyes, raising your brows, you remember how this movie ends and nod, you reach his hand giving it a small squeeze, he glances at you smiling as he blinks away the tears, you smile. 

“So I’m not trying to come across as rude but, what’s your name?”

You turn your head to look at the girl sitting next to Tae who you remember is called ‘Tea’.

“Oh. I’m y/n, I’m Jin’s acting friend from that show Where We Belong, I’m Min-na in the show, his love interest.”

You smile as she nods, thinking for a moment before snapping her fingers waking Tannie up who’s been laying in her lap this entire time as Taehyung reaches for him, as Tea leans out of her seat looking at you.

“Oh my gosh, you’re so pretty off screen too, I’m like in love with that show, the girls and I, we watch that show religiously, and sorry babe,” she squeezes Tae’s knee, “ but those scenes between you and Jin, wow my heart I never thought a man could get more handsome until you meet them in person.”

You look between her and Jin as you see Jin’s ears become red, Tea smiles as she leans into Tae who pulls her close kissing the top of her head.

“That is true, Jin is handsome, but there are many perks to being his love interest.”

This has the girls all facing you, sitting on the edge of their seats, Tae pouts as he rubs through Tannie’s fur 

“Like kissing him maybe, cause we’ve all seen it but is he good at cuddling,” Nina was the one who asked, and as you both were close you never really spoke about Jin because you both didn’t enjoy talking about work, which is what talking about Jin was for you at least. 

You look at Jin whose face is red as he looks at you, you poke his side, nodding. 

“Yes, Jin is very kind, he becomes very immersed in his character it’s beautiful and interesting actually and his emotions they feel so real when he conveys them, especially with his lines added to the mix, like wow I get the chance to act with a man who’s capable of breaking my heart in the show, and it actually hurt, I literally felt miserable for days when we were filming but I overcame those feelings, I guess I relate too much to my own character sometimes.” You nod slowly, feeling yourself look at your hands.

You know you said too much because you never told Jin that you literally felt miserable while filming those scenes where Min-na and Hyun-seok weren’t together. 

“Y/n, may I speak with you alone for a moment.”

You nod, getting up after Jin does following him to his room, as you enter him shutting the door behind you. 

“How come you never told me you felt so attached to your character as most call it?”

You shrug unable to come up with a real excuse, you know you want to tell him but what can you tell him, oh hey yeah Jin I have feelings for you, that’s why your character’s feelings struck me.

“It reminded me of something from my past, I guess. I mean my ex wasn’t the greatest towards me and I felt miserable acting those scenes out,” you lie as it’s the first thing that comes to mind that isn’t about him.

He frowns, taking your hands pulling you into a tight embrace. Resting his chin atop your head. “I’m sorry that guy was a jerk towards you, y/n you didn’t deserve anything like that. I’m glad you dumped him though you deserve a man who will love you for all that you are.”

If only that man could be you…

You nod, “yeah, one day I hope to come across him then.”

He nods, releasing his arms from around you, you feel your heart sink a little as he turns to open the door, hearing scrambling around and hushed whispers.

Shaking his head, he gestures for you to go first as you do, smiling politely. 

“Well what movie should we watch next or shall we let the ladies choose?”

A chorus of no’s fill the room as all the boys shake their heads.

“They’ll just choose your show and quote it word for word if we allow them to choose,” Jungkook says as Cloudy pouts at him.

“We will not, we just very much enjoy the show like any regular watcher, JK you can’t judge me for what I enjoy.”

Cloudy, sits up looking at you with a smile, “I mean y/n is a rookie actress whose acting is fucking amazing, why can’t we watch to support her too, babe?”

He slumps in his seat no fight coming from him as Cloudy smiles leaning into her boyfriend.

You smile for her nice words, “Thank you.”

“Cloudy, you can call me that.” 

You nod quickly feeling like your neck will snap before stopping yourself with a smile. 

“Okay, first let’s all introduce ourselves, girls only obviously she knows you boys and Nina,” Cloudy starts.

Tea and Sweetie both nod.

“I’m Sweetie, well I go by Sweetie, because I’m Jimin’s sweet angel love,” she snuggles closer into his side as Jimin smiles kissing the top of her hair.

Tea and Nina coo as you feel your heart soften at their cute shared moment.

Cloudy smiles at the two fondly, before taking JK’s hand in hers playing with his fingers as he just lets her. You begin to see that it’s the small moments for these boys, it really is the small moments between them and their other halves, Nina and Joon’s running her fingers through his hair, to Tea’s giving Tae’s knee a squeeze, to Jimin giving Sweetie a kiss on her hair, to Cloudy playing with JK’s fingers. 

You smiled fondly at each of them, maybe for now you were okay with being single because your one will come along soon but for now you’ll enjoy the presence of each of these wonderful beings. 

“Oh, I’m Tea. Sorry, I was thinking about something and got distracted from introducing myself.” 

You smile, “That’s okay, I’m just sitting here thinking myself.” You watch as she nods leaning into Taehyung’s side, you look over at the two and then see Yoongi sleeping on Tae’s other side. 

“Yoongi is asleep, should we wake him up or?”

Taehyung shakes his head, “He’s fine, he was in the studio all night.” 

You nod, leaning back into the couch. 

“Well there’s also two more girls one is Yoongi’s girl we call her Sugar, she may be small but she has an attitude but don’t worry she’s sweet to her friends and then there is our Sunshine, she’s a dancer like Hobi and Jimin but she isn’t famous or anything she’s just- that’s her passion, we’ll have to add you to the group chat y/n,” Tea explains as she runs her fingers through Tannie’s fur as well as playing with Taehyung’s long fingers smiling. 

Nodding, you look at Yoongi sleeping and then over to Nina who has Joon sleeping in her lap, they’re both quiet. 

Tea, hands her phone over to you with the phone contact ready to go, as you type your number and type your name, handing her phone back to her. She smiles, raising her brow before smirking typing something in before looking at the other girls. 

“I just sent your number to the girls, all of them. Oh and Sugar is on her way, she just landed about two hours ago, Sunshine is getting her.”

Jin, sits there smug, “If I knew this would be a couples fest I would have let Mi-sun stay…” He sighs, as his shoulders slump. 

You suddenly feel unwanted, as you clasp your hands together, a rapping knock startling even the two sleeping beings, as they both jolt awake.

“Please get the door before she wakes your neighbors, shunshine is capable of doing that,” Sweetie says, covering her ears.

Yoongi, quickly gets to his feet walking over to the door unlocking and opening it, walking passed Sunshine to pick Sugar up, smiling so wide, everyone’s eyes are on them as are yours, you smile as she laughs and he says he misses her.

“Well hi to you too, Yoongi god damn, brush passed me like I’m boo boo the clown or something.” Sunshine walks in, “Also Sweetie, if you keep calling me Shunshine I’m gonna start calling you Sweaty so knock it off.” She glares at her as her face lightens up. “Oh, Jin. You all should have told me he would be here.”

Jin, waves smiling. “Hi, Sunshine.”

“Ah, I wholeheartedly apologize, Sunshine, I love you so much,” Sweetie smiles, as Jimin pulls her closer as if that were possible with their proximity.

Yoongi and Sugar both walk in, Yoongi closes the door after.

“Hi everyone, I’m finally back from my trip which was eh,” Sugar gestures a so-so with hand as she leaned her head on Yoongi’s shoulder, “Although I am tired as hell, so I am unsure how long I’ll want to stay.”

Jin nods, “that’s okay, darling we all understand long flights kill us all.” 

She nods her chin barely reaching Yoongi’s shoulder. 

Well this is Sugar and this is Sunshine, again they’re all pretty, everyone in this group is, no wonder Jin is dating Mi-sun she just fits in well with this group and then you’re the odd one out.          

“Oh, and Hobi is here too?” Hobi grins, winking at her as she clutches her heart, “Oh lord Jesus take the wheel, I’m falling for it,” she must be the mood maker as her knees shake under her.

The girls bust out laughing as you cover your mouth laughing yourself. Hobi, the world’s biggest flirt. Shaking your head as you feel your body shake with your laughter, everyone joins in as Yoongi and Sugar shake their heads smiles on their faces, sitting down at Jin’s kitchen table.

You head lays on Jin’s back as he smiles, glancing back at your still laughing figure. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jin, smiles, he lives for moments like this in his life with all his friends. He did want Mi-sun to stay but he knew that if he asked she’d make an excuse, she wasn’t too fond of his friends. They were all high end as was she, but she felt that his friends would judge her since they like y/n better. But y/n was his friend, so of course they would like her, but they never once judged Mi-sun. Well maybe the girls did, but the boys didn’t. They gawked at her surprised by her beauty as he was too. The girls were different, they didn’t take to her when he was invited to a dinner at Taehyung and Tea’s place. It’s as if they were expecting someone else. 

He shrugs the thought away, feeling y/n still shake with laughter as she starts coughing, holding her tummy.

“Oh god, my stomach aches, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.” 

Surprisingly Jin realizes she isn’t lying she hasn’t. The last time she did was when they both pulled pranks on each other during their first season. He smiles as he turns around lifting her up to sit straight as he gets up to get her a glass of water. 

Grabbing a wine glass as that’s all he had at the moment that was clean, going to his fridge getting her water and ice, walking back, holding it out for her as she takes it, taking deep breaths drinking the water slowly, holding her chest as she holds a thumbs up.

“Sorry, I can’t laugh too hard, I actually had an injury a while back where I bruised my ribs but it’s fine, it’s no one’s fault I never thought I’d laugh that hard though.”

Jin, sits down next to y/n, as she continues to sip the water. He thinks to himself if it’d be too weird to rub her back but he just goes with his gut and rubs her back in small soothing circles as she glances at him giving him a smile that warms his heart. 

He gives her a small nod. Looking around the room, Sunshine sat on the other side of Hobi; he was thankful his couch was long and big enough to fit all of the bodies sitting on it, from Tea, Tae, Hobi, Sunshine, himself, and y/n; leaning back.

Ah, deciding since it’s his TV, he chooses another movie and this time he chose Spider-man because why not. Everyone sees he chose another movie as Yoongi and Sugar cross the room to sit, more like squeeze next to Taehyung and Tea. Who’s practically on his lap holding Tannie in her lap. Jin leans behind y/n to whisper to Tae, “hey no funny business or you’re both out but we’ll keep Tannie.” 

Taehyung smirks nodding, leaning close to y/n to whisper back, “I promise, hyung we’re not doing any funny business, she’s falling asleep, we have a flight tomorrow afternoon actually for a photo shoot.”

This is news to Jin as he raises a brow, “where to?”

“Tokyo, Japan, it’ll be our second trip there together.”

“Hyung, if you’re gonna choose a movie at least watch it so we all don’t suffer,” JK grumbles.

Jin scoffs, smiling to Tae and sitting back in his seat, “JK, do I make fun of the shows, or movies you put on?”

“No.”

“Then don’t say anything about mine.”

Jungkook, chuckles pulling Cloudy closer to him, as he lays his head on her lap her fingers instinctively going into his hair massaging his scalp as a soft moan escaped his lips as everyone whips their heads towards him, as he fakes a cough his face flushing. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, Cloudy snickers shaking her head, her focus on the screen.

Shaking his head as his body shivers, help JK and Cloudy please. 

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You, smirk Cloudy must have JK wrapped around her pinky after you heard that. Tea snickers as she sits completely still.

Taehyung and Jungkook must be sound machines if Tea is sitting still and JK took Cloudy’s hand in his own versus having it in his hair. He must get his hair pulled by her- okay y/n where are your thoughts going you scold yourself, you’ll have to wait till the girls are more comfortable with sharing those thoughts and moments with you. Shrugging you lean back into the couch. 

Halfway into the movie, Tea must have moved from the low groan that came from Taehyung, but you must have been the only one to hear it, as Taehyung leans into her “don’t start, I’m not leaving Tannie here.”

From the corner of your eye, you see her nod sucking in her cheeks, you look to the floor where Jimin and Sweetie decided to vacate themselves, Yoongi and Sugar are on the other side of Tae and Tea, sleeping soundly, Nina and Joon are still sitting in the love-seat Joon must be whispering to Nina as she nods her head, JK and Cloudy are; you look closer at them as JK looks like he is biting his lip as Cloudy runs her fingers through his hair, her eyes on the screen but a smirk on her features; you shake your head as you glance at Hobi and Sunshine, she’s asleep in his lap as his eyes are on the screen. Jin, though is very into the movie. 

You though, are just observing for now. Because you’ve only met one half of these people, but you are getting the gist of what they are like.

As the movie ends, everyone except Taehyung gets up to stretch, Joon reaching to turn on a lamp.

“Alright, everyone goodnight maybe next weekend we can do this but not my place one of yours as I have things going on here next weekend,” Jin states, looking around the room as Tea stands up putting Tannie on Tae’s lap. You can’t help but shake your head. Those two.

Sunshine stretches, before moving her hair from her face, “I’ll drive myself home. Unless someone needs a ride.” She looks at Namjoon and Nina, who both shrink under her gaze.

Nina mumbles, “Thanks, shine shine, you’re a lifesaver.”

She shrugs as she rubs the sleep from her eyes.

“Well we will be taking our leave right, babe,” Cloudy pokes Jungkook’s chest as he nods, walking towards the door after Sunshine, Nina, and Joon.

Yoongi and Sugar wave and walk out after them, then Tae finally stands holding Tannie awkwardly as he takes Tea by her waist pulling her in front of him, as she holds Tannies, “Well we shall see you all again soon, we’ll keep you updated with our trip.” She nods, as Tae smiles forcefully as they both walk out awkwardly after one another.

Hobi, Jimin and Sweetie are still here. 

Hobi, looks at those two making a face as he turns to Jin, “I’ll see you later, Jin, and y/n.” He sends a wink your way as Jin glances between the both of us. You shrug, as does he looking Jimin and Sweetie, facing each other whispering words of love. You look at Hobi, shaking your head with wide eyes mouthing ‘stop doing that.’

He smiles nodding as he leaves out the door.

“Hyung, can’t we just stay in your spare room, I drove but I’m too tired to drive anywhere.” 

Jin nods gesturing towards the room as he turns towards you, “Shall we pull out the futon and you can take my bed?”

Shaking your head, “No, I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much tonight you can go rest, Jin.”

Watching Sweetie walk with Jimin to the spare room as you feel Jin’s eyes on you. You can see him waiting for the door to shut before he starts.

“Okay, tell me what is it?”

Slumping your shoulders as you release a breath, “They’re all so pretty, I felt so out of place, Jin like what the hell, I thought you said it was just us having a sleepover and then the door just kept going and I- never mind but I can’t sleep because I’d rather not sleep in your bed,” shrugging you sit back down on the couch.

“Oh, am I that bad,” he smells his shirt shaking his head, “Well I don’t smell I made sure to shower and it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before so come on or I’ll carry you there, so step up and get in bed.”

You pout, looking at him, knowing you won’t win, grumbling, “Fine, Jin.”

You stand up as he smiles following after you as you enter his room seeing his kind size bed as he closes the door and you crawl in his bed, checking your phone as you see it’s blown up with group chat messages, and your name being added to the group chat with all of them. Opening the group chat with the girls. 

                                       Shunshine and her hoes

Tea bby: Oh my god, you’ll never 

guess who I just saw on the 

streets with another man’s arm 

wrapped around her waist!   

                                                                        Cloudy: Lemme guess, Mi-sun? Nina: Oh my god are you serious? Again?!?

                                                   Sweetie: I mean this is what the fourth time we 

                                                                                 have seen her cheat on Jin?

Shunshine: OH HELL NAH, my baby Jin 

deserves a real woman someone like that 

girl who was there! I forget her name

                                                                           Bby sug: fuck mi-sun, we                                                                                    should just hook up y/n and jin.

                                                                             that should be an operation.

Princess y/n: Wait what?

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What the fuck?

[rememberthattime]

Chapter 47. Fiji

I was born on May 13, 1989. I don’t remember much about the day, but from pictures, it looked like a great time. My parents were celebrating, there were balloons, someone brought a children’s Chicago Cubs baseball set.

Today is my 30th birthday, so I’m reflecting … looking back all the way to the very start.

It’s interesting to imagine my mom & dad’s thoughts in that delivery room 30 years ago. They must have been terrified by the responsibility of raising a toddler (I would be), but also excited for their new son’s future. What will he grow up to be? Where will he live? What will he do? Their dreams for me had to be bigger than their 1980’s hair.

In the least dramatic way I can say this: they couldn’t have predicted where I’d end up 30 years later.

Birthdays are important to celebrate, but especially milestone birthdays. This is mainly Chelsay’s influence speaking, but I agree with her: milestone birthdays are ones you’ll always remember. 15 years from now, we’ll think back and ask: “What did we do for your 30th birthday?” ... I won’t let that be an ordinary memory. Life is busy though, so it’s tough to carve out a day for festivities, let alone plan them. Even a month ago, Chelsay and I didn’t know how we’d be celebrating. Chels had plans in motion, but my work complicated things by scheduling meetings in Atlanta the week before. My trip back to Sydney would require 24 hours of flights, so would we still be up for a big celebration? The answer is Yes. I’m not 70, and I just said milestone birthdays were important, so we’re making this happen. Work would pay for me to get from ATL back to SYD via any route, so Chels and I started looking for convenient connecting destinations. Hong Kong, Tokyo, Patagonia, and Hawaii were all considered, but in the end, we found the perfect blend of celebration, relaxation, adventure, and convenient flights in Fiji. Fiji is a county made up of 330 islands, and each island chain has its own unique characteristics. Viti Levu is the main island and home to Nadi Airport, but most tourists don’t stay here. Near Viti Levu are the Mamanucas, small sandy dots amongst the expansive blue. The Mamanucas are stunning, but they’re typically more resort-y and popular with nearby Aussies & Kiwis. Then there are the Yasawas, where Chelsay and I chose to stay. The Yasawas are further from the mainland, and their remoteness means their less touristy.

This is a double-edged sword though, because less tourists means there’s less tourist infrastructre, so finding a comfortable option would take some research. We eventually decided on Paradise Cove, which perfectly balanced vacation comforts (comfy bed, outdoor shower, and excellent food, which can’t be understated on a remote island) with a sense of wild adventure (fewer guests, great snorkelling, and hiking paths around the large island).

I nailed my meetings in Atlanta, so my birthday weekend was off to a good start even before boarding the plane. For the next 24 hours of flights, I had nothing to worry about - just enjoying a few movies and catching up on sleep. Chelsay and I met up in the Nadi Airport after extremely disproportionate flight times (hers was only 4 hours), and caught a ferry to Paradise Cove. Seaplanes were an option, but they were 5x the price and this wasn’t our honeymoon. The other advantage of the ferry is that it allowed us to see the different Fijian islands up close. Viti Levu and the Mamanucas were very nice, but Chelsay and I knew we’d made the right choice as we arrived in the less crowded Yasawas.

We were in heaven as we stepped onto the sandy beaches of Paradise Cove. A jungle of palm trees lined the beach, at first hiding the resort before eventually revealing a dream island getaway: shaded cabanas, pool-side lounge chairs, and a bar concocting frozen, fruity treats.

The pineapple on top of this pina colada was that Chelsay told the resort it was both of our birthdays, so they upgraded our villa and outfitted it with balloons and welcome drinks. As birthday surprises go, drinks on a beach in Fiji was pretty good.

After drinks on the beach, scuba diving wasn’t really an option, so we decided to snorkel in Paradise Cove’s house reef. I was really surprised by its color. It was just last week that I wrote about the scale of the Great Barrier Reef... but out in the middle of the Pacific, Fiji’s immense soft coral, highlighter vibrancy, and sea life abundance were incredible.

Now, it was inevitable that jet lag would catch up to me. Atlanta is 16 hours behind Fiji, and I was mentally nearing midnight. Chelsay was also dealing with severe time zone change (2 hours), so she was equally down for a nap. We gave ourselves 90 minutes but would wake up well before our 6:30 dinner. Apparently we woke up to the alarm at 5:30... I don’t remember. I guess I turned it off and only woke up once Chelsay checked her phone. 6:20. Woof. I say all this only to give you an idea of the mental state I was in over dinner. It was similar to that infamous Innsbruck dinner, where Chelsay and I giggled through our whole meal in a tired haze. After our mains, I asked Chelsay if it was time to call it a night... Despite having sour straws in the room, she insisted we stay at the restaurant for dessert. “Alright, well if we’re going to be here awhile, I need some extra bug spray.” I stumbled back to the room and, as I was re-applying, I heard singing in the distance. “Must be the ‘Kava Social’ by the fire pit,” I thought. ...These resorts always put on a show. Still in a sleepy haze, I leisurely made my way back to Chelsay. As I got closer though, I realized the singing wasn’t coming from the fire pit… it was coming from the restaurant. I turned the corner and could see they were surrounding Chelsay and I’s table... and Chelsay had her hands clasped over her mouth... and they weren’t making eye contact with her... and they had a cake. OH NO! They’d been singing this whole time for me!!!! Ahhhhh-I rushed back to the table, face bright red, and started clapping along as they sang a Fijian happy birthday song. I don’t know what they sang actually... it could’ve been the alphabet. I just tried to focus on Chelsay and not on the fact that the song had been going for at least three minutes. I thought to myself, “Chelsay must be so embarrassed!” And then I thought, “Oh no everyone thinks I was taking a shit!” The song finally wrapped up, and the waiters were laughing with Chelsay and I. They accusingly pointed out that it was the longest they’ve ever had to sing happy birthday… “Guys, I swear, I was putting on more bug spray!” Luckily a nearby couple caught the awkwardness of camera.

The next morning, Chelsay and I had scheduled back-to-back dives. We’ve been diving quite a bit recently, but it was still fun to float around the bottom of the ocean. Much like the local humans, Fijian fish seemed incredible friendly: the sea life was very comfortable with divers, staring back at Chelsay and I from only a few inches away.

After our dives, Chels and I took a 1.5 hour hike around the island, stopping at a secluded beach for private snorkelling. Along the hike, the resort had set up a few small exercise stations. One station was a tire flip... like what NFL prospects train with. This is probably why all the Polynesian players are so big. Anyway, Chelsay challenged me to flip it and I did so without difficulty. It must not have looked hard, because Chelsay confidently stepped up to try it herself. She bent down, grabbed the tire, lifted from her legs for less than one millisecond, and walked away with nothing but a “Nope.”

At dinner that night, first of all, there were no birthday song surprises. Second, we had phenomenal steak with a spread of beetroot, pea, and garlic purée. It was exceptional, as was every meal we ate at Paradise Cove. This can’t be overstated. I mentioned earlier that food in many Yasawan islands is poor, often limited to rice and fries. These resorts just aren’t prepared to meet all vacation comforts... Paradise Cove was ready though. Over our three days, we enjoyed tasty local kokoda, beef lettuce wraps, coconut crusted chicken, and their many fresh catches of the day.

The next morning, Chelsay and I joined a snorkel excursion through a nearby island channel. In Fiji, these channels serve as a funnel for pods of manta rays, which are probably my favorite non-dog animal. See, ever since our failed hunt for mantas in the Maldives, I’ve had an appreciation for how hard they are to find. Even though we’ve since seen entire pods of mantas, I’ll always jump at the slightest chance to see another. Our boat between the two islands, and the guide jumped in the water. He wore a weight belt so that he could sink down where the mantas swim, which I only mention because I want to remember how easily he descended 10 meters (30 feet), sitting in the dark blue for 2 minutes before resurfacing. This guy is a fish. On the other hand, Chelsay had a less graceful descent. When we scuba dived the day before, we exited the boat by sitting on the ledge, tanks over the water, and just falling backwards. The weight of the tank would naturally fall into the water and 360-degree flip you back to the surface. When snorkelling though, you don’t have the weight of the tank. Chelsay threw herself back and entered the water, but was too buoyant to complete a flip. She’d contoured herself into an arch, with her belly sticking out of the water and fins frantically trying to rotate over. She probably scared the mantas away. It took about 30 minutes of tense anticipation, but while staring down at the blue abyss, we heard the guide yell, “Manta!” Chelsay and I swam over quickly to take in the majestic giant. At around 3 meters wide, this female manta was bigger than me, yet swam with such gentle grace. Its grace is deceptive though, because it’s actually still moving quickly - between our hunt and subsequent chase, I probably swam 3 km that morning.

Chels and I were tired when we got back to Paradise Cove, but it was our last day so we decided to snorkel the house reef one more time. It was cool to see the soft coral again, but we were pooped. I actually had to tow Chelsay back: you know, when I swim in front and my wife just holds onto my foot.

As I was towing her, we passed over a shallow part of the reef but I kept powering along. Suddenly, Chelsay let go of my foot and started slapping the water. I stopped in my tracks, unsure what she was freaking out about. She swam off, so I followed, and it wasn’t until we’d gotten to shore that she told me what it was: apparently a venomous white-banded sea snake popped out and launched within 1.5 ft of me. That was enough sea life for this trip, so we spent the rest of the day on the resort’s inflated jungle gym. We laughed, played around, and attempted backflips (key word: attempted). Just a reminder that I’d turned 30 a few days before.

That note actually transitions well into my conclusion…

A lot of people get anxious about their 30th birthday. It isn’t a vitality thing - too early for that - but the anxiety comes more from gauging where you are vs where you thought you’d be. Life isn’t a checklist, but it’s natural to have expectations for when you turn 30, 40, etc. Well, I’m writing this from my villa patio in Fiji, so I’m nailing the “Where you are” part. To answer that question less literally though, I’ll instead consider “Where I am” against Chelsay and I’s life motto, something we wrote in our wedding vows: “We’ll never let age get in the way of our youth.” This is perfect motto for age-related milestones because youth isn’t a concept tied to age. It isn’t chapter in your life that just fades away. It’s a mindset, and it’s one you can measure whether you’re 5, 20, 30, 40, or 80. To be youthful is to be energetic, playful, and optimistic. Now I’m technically 30, but this milestone age doesn’t bother me. “Where I am” is energetic enough to swim with Mantas, playful enough to laugh at awkward cake situations and splash around on an inflatable jungle gym, and optimistic enough to make a celebratory Fiji weekend happen despite all of life’s complexities. I’m not worried about turning 30, because after the past weekend, I know I’m as youthful as I’ve ever been.

[dreamyoonjh]

Jeonghan Soulmate! AU

Anonymous asked: Hello!! Are you Jeonghan biased too? Can I please request a soulmate AU for him? And the rest of svt too if it's not too much? I just love the idea of soulmates ahh. Thank you so much ;-;

Thank you so much for requesting, Anon!! I hope you enjoy reading this!! I don’t really like this tbh but this is my first ever bullet-point imagine so please be understanding 💖

People have different soulmate-identifying marks

Your parents have a red string connecting them

Your best friend has a stopwatch counting down to the day they'll meet their soulmate

Your cousin sees them through their dreams

Some has it easy, a name imprinted on their wrists.

Some has it harder, with only the last words their soulmates say to them as the only way to confirm if their s/o was their soulmate. 

Thank god yours is pretty common.. The first words your soulmate will say to you is imprinted in a suave cursive around your wrist.

"Thank you?"

The phrase thank you is thrown a lot,, but what makes you curious is what you could have possibly done to get a question mark at the end of the statement

You tried not to worry about it. But you still do.

So now you're a writer alright

You specialized in poetry

Because there's nothing that gives you more pleasure than mere words being stringed together and broken down to create one of the most beautiful things ever.

You're in your first year of college when you discovered the multitalented beautiful boys that were no other than Seventeen

It was thanks to your roommate really

Seventeen is holding a concert + a fanmeet in your city!!

And your roommate happens to have an extra ticket bc her friend suddenly couldn’t go

She showed you the Mansae MV

You can’t help but to notice the beautiful boy with a silver long hair

“Who is he??????”

“That’s Jeonghan :DDDD”

She showed you 12345678 videos of them and honestly?? You were falling in love already

These boys?? Are so talented?? And have incredible personalities?? That sealed the deal for you.

Even though you’re relatively new to the fandom, you love them so much, especially Jeonghan

He’s your bias obv

Within a couple months you’re already a huge Carat and you can’t wait for the day when you’ll meet them to come

Jeonghan has always known his soulmate would be the sweetest

Why?

Because he has the sweetest first words imprinted on his wrist

It’s always covered in foundations and concealers on stage, of course.

But in the times it isn’t… Looking at it alone gets him smiling from ear to ear

"You look like.. The kind of person I'd write poetry about."

To any other people, the phrase would seem cheesy

Hell, even Seungcheol teased him mercilessly about it

But Jeonghan?? This boy loves it

He knows people with the most basic first words ever (i.e. “Sorry” “Nice to meet you”) and honestly? He’s proud to know that his is different, unique

He’s willing to bet no one else in this world has the same exact first words as him, and that says a lot about the kind of person his soulmate is

He's always thinking about the response he'd give

Because how can you respond to anything of that sort? How can you return such a sweet statement with anything sweeter, but not superficial?

No matter what, Jeonghan knows how much he'll love his soulmate already

Today's the day of the concert, and the fansign afterwards

You and your roommate came early to the venue and made so many new carat friends

When it’s showtime..

You held back tears the entire team, excitedly screaming along with thousands other fans

Jeonghan was!! So beautiful!! Even from a distance!!

You made your own cheering banner and a few of the members had noticed it!!

When the last song came on, you were already in tears

You just love these boys so much.. Seeing them happy made you 1004x happier

While the concert was phenomenal, it was the fansign you looked forward to the most

You can’t wait to interact with Seventeen, even if it’s only briefly

You’re one of the last ones to go, so you got to see SVT interacting w/ other Carats first

They were so sweet!! Trying on headbands and accepting gifts.. You can really see how much they love their fans

Finally, the time came for you to interact with them!

Your heart is beating!! SO!! FAST!!

When you finally reached Jeonghan, you had to do a double take

You’re actually seeing him, right in front of your eyes, and he’s looking at you

He was beautiful on your screen

He was beautiful on stage too

But up close?

Absolutely stunning

So you thought, "You look like.. The kind of person I'd write poetry about"

You didn't realize you said it out loud until you see the change in his expression

A shocked face.. And something else you couldn’t quite place

"Thank you?"

You froze

aAAAHHHHH

aaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHh

???????????????? cOULD HE BE????????

Jeonghan is lowkey freaking out inside too bc that’s it?? “tHANK yOU??” that’s all he could say?? yIkes

You continued the fansign like normal, cheeks blushing furiously

You struck up a conversation as he signed your posters

You told him your name, and that he's your bias, such and such

It's such a normal convo between an idol and a fan but Jeonghan’s already falling for you??

He's convinced already that you're his soulmate

Because honestly no one else knew about his soulmate’s first words except for his family, fellow members, and Pledis

Idols’ soulmate marks have always been hidden if it’s anything physical (whether it be through long-sleeves, makeup, etc.)

Jeonghan can feel his soulmate mark heating up, it’s probably turning blood red by now

A sign that one has met their soulmate

You could feel your mark burning up too

Both of you were blushing profusely tbh

The normally confident Jeonghan is a blushy mess when he meets you

So at the end, when you're about to move on to Jisoo..

"Hey (Y/N), I don't mean to be so forward but, can I please see your wrist?"

Your face lit up at that (he referred to you by name oMG)

“Yes!! Of course!!”

You tried to stay casual lol but who are you kidding?

When he saw the "Thank you?" on your wrist, he grinned so wIDE

He found her. He found her. He found her. He found his soulmate.

He rolled up his sleeves, showing the delicate words you had said to him just a few moments before

"We're soulmates, after all", he said, beaming.

Honestly by this point everyone's attention is on the both of you

You can feel other fans staring daggers at you

Before you could respond, a staff member leads you to the backstage where you waited for another hour until the boys finished meeting their precious carats

The first one to show up is Joshua (who you didn’t get to properly meet in the fansign ;-;)

Who tackled you immediately into a hug

He’s embarrassed af but he’s all like please take care of Jeonghan!! You won’t believe how much he talks about you.. Long before you both actually met... 

Your blush deepens even more rip

The other members start to fill up the room, and your heart stopped for the second time that day when you see Jeonghan making his way towards you

“Hello, soulmate”

And you both indeed make the sweetest couple :’)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #108

*too lazy to think of song lyrics*

Are you a dreamer or a do-er?  Ehhhh not sure...  I'm really a mix of both. Do you think people get what they deserve?  In most cases, nope. Does it take a lot of physical pain to make you cry?  Yes. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game):  SH2 was such a mindfuck.  SH3, too. Do you like sitting in the front, back, or middle of the classroom? Front because I'm blind as shit. Do you ever see commercials for restaurants that aren’t even in your area?  Uhhhh maybe? Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before?  She wasn't directly struck, but my mom was washing out a can during a thunderstorm, something was struck, the electricity pulsed through the pipes, and the water shocked her. Which is better: living where there’s lots of tornadoes or lots of hurricanes?  Hurricanes.  I'm used to them.  I know severe hurricanes are technically worse because the scope of damage is far larger and there's also water damage, but I think tornadoes are WAAAAY more frightening. Would you pay if your dog needed an operation?  Well, technically, Teddy needs one and we can't afford it.  He's had an enlarged prostate for years, but by now, even if we had the money, him undergoing surgery would be dangerous with his age.  I wouldn't be comfortable doing it. If you’re a girl, what’s your favorite color of eyeliner?  So apparently boys can't wear eyeliner, that's nice to know.  I only wear black. Have you ever overflown a bathtub? No. Why did you ignore the last person you ignored? I had nothing to say.  But I guess that's not really "ignoring." What’s your favorite pizza place? Domino's, probs.  I don't like their crust much though. What’s at the top of your to do list in life?  Stay happy. Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? I actually like cold pizza, so long it's not a few days old.  Then it's too hard. Where are you the most ticklish?  FEET DON'T FUCKING TOUCH MY FEET Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone?  A few people, yes. When you’re wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? I never really want a midnight snack.  But probably like those packets of six, little peanut butter crackers if we have them. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet?  Awwww Courage <3  Or Pikachu, but that's an anime, so w/e. Do you like marshmallows? I don't love them, but I can eat a few. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? The fruity flavor ones.  Especially blueberry and strawberry omgggg. Do you have any shoeboxes full of old photos/letters/other memorable stuff?  I have a huge box, dude. When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed?  Uhhhh... I'm not sure.  A LOT of things embarrass me, but I dunno about seriously. Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it?  No.  I'm not the kind where lyrics depend on if I like the song or not, it's sound.  I have songs I like that have fucking awful lyrics.  I do know when to draw the line, though. What’s your favorite Christmas song?  "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" and "Christmas Chimes." Did you like the show Invader Zim?  I actually never watched it even though I wanted to back then. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a grocery store?  Okay so real shit Wal-Mart now has animal masks.  Like, furry head masks.  In the middle of the fucking hall. Do you prefer to pull off band-aids slowly or quickly?  Lol I admit I do it slowly. Have you ever met any bands/band members before? No.  But it is one of my goals to one day buy backstage passes to Metallica for especially my mom, hopefully me too.  She.  Would.  Sob. Do you enjoy riding around town looking at Christmas lights?  Awwww, I miss doing that.  We can't afford that extra gas money now, but also we live in a rural area, so there's not all that much to see.  There's a few people who go all-out though. What’s a good book you’d recommend? If I could recommend only one book, "Johnny Got His Gun" by Dalton Trumbo.  Fucking.  Phenomenal. What states have you been to in the past year?  Just NC. Have you ever sleepwalked?  No. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Uhhhh.  I really liked the Batman movie with Bane, and one of the Spiderman movies, but I don't remember which.  This isn't really a spoiler anymore, so, the one where his girlfriend dies. Do you struggle with acne? No.  Totally did through puberty, but it stopped when I was like... 18, maybe?  Possibly 17? Around what year did you start using the internet, anyways? Hmmm... 2004 or perhaps 2003?  I became more active when Meerkat Manor came out, but before that I was all about Webkinz and Neopets. What did you do for your 16th birthday? My 16th was awful, all I'm saying. Have you ever fostered an animal? You mean like, briefly watched?  No. What’s your favorite form of exercise?  Swimming. Do you have a back pack in a shape of an animal? I don't think I ever did. Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? My showers are pretty much always relatively hot. What’s your favorite type of cake? Red velvet. Name something you thought was cool when you were younger but don’t now?  Who the fuck was that monkey that was on a lot of shirts I don't remember. What was the last song you downloaded onto your computer? "Rocket Man" by NSP. What color are your headphones, if you have any? Black. Do you honestly like The Beatles or are you just conforming? I've never liked the Beatles. What was the last video message you received on your phone? Sara sent me a video of... Jem, I think? Who did you last talk to in Facebook chat? Don. When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two?  Ummmm I think two.  I write it so rarely I don't even know. Do you feel bad for people your age who have never had a significant other? No.  Some people don't want one. When do you plan on moving out? If you’re already moved out, how old were you?  I doubt I will until I'm in a long-term relationship.  I don't think I'd do well living alone. Would you kiss the last person you texted?  Only if I knew she wanted me to. What do you think of guys wearing colored skinny jeans? Go for it. Where do you normally get your hair cut? We go to a family friend named Kenesa. Would you trade last names with your best friend?  Sara's yes, I like hers.  Colleen no. Would you ever get blonde highlights? I have natural blonde-ish highlights, mostly towards the end of my hair. Will you go to your high school reunion?  Nope. Have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week?  I think so. Do you ever not speak to someone because you’re afraid you’ll annoy them?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Personally, do you think you have a nice smile?  Nope. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have?  Probably a ferret.  They're just a lot of maintenance.

[cerealmonster15]

3, 6, and 8 for the artist ask!!!

3 answered here!

6. tag your favorite artists/inspirations!

hell yes i love an excuse to gush over friends and mutuals and people i admire that i’ve never spoken to outside of leaving tags in their posts, he l l o :

@gdipalomo first of all, loving wonderful friend and extremely talented individual!! her art fascinates me with how much detail goes into every piece, and especially the backgrounds- those are GOALS. i love how everything she makes has depth and looks like it’s had a great amount of time and care put into it all. shes also incredibly supportive towards me about my life and my art and i adore her c’:

im counting writing as art and my pal @kidzbopmallcop is excellent at writing The Fanfics and does a good job with staying close to characterization and making sure each aspect of the story is well thought out and considered when putting it together. VERY COOL and shes a GREAT BUD

@mercuryblacksleg is so talented and lovely and has the best design ideas for characters!!!! he draws the cutest tiny old man sarge and merle,,, his red team art is a+ and also hes a great friend and i love him

@fandomescapades keeps making me  CRY every damned time they post things, omfg. such a beautiful art style- i looove how they draw facial expressions and faces in general. their use of color is also just absolutely gorgeous and i want to stare at each art post for like 50 years….

@artsyorangeykay has really cool au ideas and draws them out beautifully!!!! they have a cool art style that reminds me of a cartoony kind of comic book, and they have lovely and well thought out looking character designs for their facecanons of rvb characters, and i love seeing the little comics they make  to fit aus or people’s prompts!! their passion for their aus and how excited they get when people are talkin about the mermaid au with them is so refreshing and it’s always nice seeing new art from them. 

@happyfunballxd has the CUTEST style of chibis. sometimes i remember their rvb baby au and i just. cry. the only thing cuter than chibis is baby chibis. then i remember their taz babies and i cry even more because THIER DRAWINGS OF BABY ANGO IS THE CUTEST THING YOU’LL EVER LAY EYES ON. i aspire to be that good at drawing cuties one day

@peteor is another bro who’s art style reminds me of cartoony comics and i love it! he draws great facial expressions, especially on babies. have you ever seen his grumpy baby drawings??? if not, youre missin out, bud. theyre seriously the best pudgey pouts and it’s absolutely beautiful

@cyborg-sabi has SUCH a cute art style with like, such soft wonderful features on everyone they draw. they have one of those art styles that feels safe and comforting to look at and makes me feel at home to see?? i cant really explain why, but i really like it

surprise another fic one but @mistevieous has such good writing and explores less popular characters and pairings in their works sometimes, and always inspires me to write more and work harder on what i’m doing when i read their stuff

and speaking of fics, @comefeedtherainn has the power to giveth and also taketh away, holy shit. they write characterization SO WELL it practically feels canon. there’s funny parts, sweet fluffy parts, and absolutely heart wrenching feelings-destruction angst. i still like to go back and reread certain doc/donut and church/donut stuff they’ve done, and every time i’m filled with so many good feelings. the angst hits right where it hurts, tho, so don’t let the fluffier ones fool you: they are powerful with writing fics and you have been Warned.

@amvial is such a wonderful delight of a human and always has such a gorgeous unique art style. i feel like every piece they draw is better than the last and i cri seeing their fun ideas put to picture. they also have a really unique way of working with color that works SO WELL and i want to learn the Secrets bc everything they make is absolutely mesmerizing and fills me with those Good Feelings

@washingtonsthrussy i still want to duel them for changing their url to that, bUT theyre still an excellent artist with a crisp beautiful art style. i love how they draw faces  [especially them noses?? i love the noses. so cute] and i always wanna ruffle the hair of whoever they draw bc it looks so soft and Good

 @epsilon-washington has SUCH  a cute and wonderful art style that is always getting better and that ever increasing skill still AMAZES me !! it’s unique and so pleasing to look at- they have a good strong use of color and draw faces and heads overall really well, like i’m always re looking back at their art bc i cant stop staring at how skilled they are at drawing people’s faces and make everyone look so GOOD!!! i wanna learn that kind of skill ;0

@docdufresne scares me with how fuckin incredible they are at painting that goddamed halo armor and making it look so flawless, and even prettier than it does in the show?? beautiful use of colors and lighting, makin things look shiny and lively. and i LOVE how they draw faces too?? everyone is so cute in the little cartoon-esque doodles, and then the more realistic looking paintings just blow my mind.

@captainkonot HBHGBHBGHBH every time i read their blog title i wanna jam out to rocky horror lmfao. but omg anyway the art!! THE COMICS!!!! THE COMICS MAKE ME SCREAM theyre so fucking funny and good and creative and FUN TO READ i die. especially their rvb art omfg, i love love absolutely everything, the characters are so dynamic and expressive and full of life and personality and love and i ADORE IT!!!!!! looking through their drawings always makes me wanna go draw something and work on my techniques more bc im just so amazed at what they can do and how happy they make other people / me feel with their art. i wanna get to that level where i’m also inspiring people and making people happy like how their stuff makes me feel!! it’s an amazing feeling and i feel like there’s really some thing special with that kind of art! every so often i remember their drawings of caboose trying to hug sarge and felix and i DIE theyre the best things ever. also they make really cool original art here and there that’s always interesting to see!! it’s all very good and fun. go to their blog. experience the magic. 

jfjjbjgjb a lot of people that inspire me are mutuals and/or friends lolol but there are also a ton i admire from afar

@papanorth also has like, phenomenal really interesting au snippets!! i’ve been super into that gym teacher wash au bc, as i’ve said, i LOVE au with kiddos bein kiddos. i love their art style, ranging from cute cartoony doodles to like, absolutely gorgeous paintings (do u call it painting if it’s digital? it looks like a painting.. imma call it a painting lol) with like, stunning use of colors and lighting that fills me with all kinds of emotions. im super inspired by their technical skill with how well they can draw people at an extensive range of emotions and have such like,,, Great Detail with facial features and anatomy and all that fun stuff. theyre very creative and filled with so many cool ideas, it’s awesome.

@toastyhat , ,, oh my god how could i almost forget toastyhat???? one of my absolute Favorite artsts like, EVER. p sure i followed them back in the homestuck days and was SO EXCITED when i’d gotten into rvb ~2 years ago to see that they were into that too. they draw for a lot of things i’m not familiar with but i always love seeing it anyway bc holy shit that SKILL is UNREAL. this is another one of the cases of “i love everything about how they draw faces and heads in general and i want to absorb this artwork through my face i cant stop staring at it” kind of scenarios. it’s beautiful and like, top level aspiration art goals, hoo boy. they also have really helpful advice tags and posts that i’ve gone creepin thru a few times and just, i love their blog, you guys.

i’ve been taken with @randomdraggon ‘s art since i got into rvb and found their wonderful donut/lopez art. SO GOOD to see such STELLAR ART for my FAVE RED BOYS and such a rare pair ;w; they have incredibly unique and GORGEOUS facecanons for donut and lopez and many others, and it’s cool seeing their overwatch art too. i’ve seen people using their 3D models for rvb animations, and as someone who’s finally started 3D modeling/animation classes in college, i’ve found that really cool and inspiring to see such neato burrito creations like that. i’m so mesmerized with their cool and creative art style and i dream of being half that creative and skilled one day.

i think @powerfulpomegranate drew a picture of like, a super strechy simmons and squash grif and it was like, the best thing i’d ever seen i laughed so much. they’re yet another person that absolutely astounds me with what a wide range of amazing skill they have with like, cartoony yet beautifully done doodles, to like, incredibley detailed digital paintings. i LOVE the wild facial expressions they can draw sometimes, and there’s also like, this soft sweet gif of animation they did once of tucker in the car with i think wash, caboose, and maybe junior was there? like, drivin late at night with a light flashing by and it was just. it was so gorgeous, yall.  every time i stumble upon it i stare at it so long thinking about how every aspect of that was put together and how much time it must’ve taken, even for just a few seconds. it’s so soft and calming and comforting to watch, so Peaceful and beautiful. i love it and i love their art…also im pretty sure theyre the person who’s FC of smith made me think of gordon from thomas the tank engine and i’ve literally never been able to forget that LOL (it’s really good tho) (i love it)

okokok i think i should stop here bc im sure there are like 5000 people i could think of, but i went with the ones i see most often and think about a lot, but i assure yall i know of SO MANY MORE talented people and these are just the first billion of wonderful beautiful super skilled individuals that come to mind.

…anyway. other question.

8. show us at least 2-3 drawings from 1-2 years ago.

…CRIES. CRIIIEEESSSSS oh my god lol. i’m glad my older sketchbooks are at home bc there are some MESSY MESSES in there but heyooo, i can show you the firstish digital drawing i did of donut (like, when i first tried drawing with a tablet) from 2 years ago next month, and then the redraw i did a year later 

oct 23, 2015, about a month into me finding rvb

and the alt version, hnk-

[fuckin weeps oh my god] [im so sorry]

then the next year, sept 14 2016 [the one year anniversary of me starting rvb]

hes not great but hes a hell of a lot better lmfao. part of it was finding a sharp pen tool in medibang/firealpaca, but also i just needed to Learn lmfao

and yknow. i was gonna wait a little more before redrawing this but since the hurricane may come and wreck our shit i might as well REDRAW HIM RIGHT NOOWWWW [sept 5, 2017]

i still have ages to go but im GETTING THEEERREE [im gonna make a separate post bc IMPROVEMENT]

lol sorry for such a long reply omfg, but thank u for asking!!

[x]