#she's okay with this because she's always been a little. A Way lmao. she's alive again and can't die AND there's perks to being like this
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thinking about wisteria more lately. how could you NOT come back more than a little unsettling if your bones made a new skin out of what killed you when you were brought back by a well-meaning but detached fae who didn't really see the difference
#i think i posted her bg on cohost but not here#long story short she wandered into a pocket of the feywild without realizing it. made some tea out of the plants and uhhhhhhhhh. oops#not meant for consumption#uncountable years later what was left got found & fashioned into a living being again by the archfey/ruler of the realm. waste not want not#she's okay with this because she's always been a little. A Way lmao. she's alive again and can't die AND there's perks to being like this#kaolin crunch#wisteria 🍵🌼
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Back Together | Bucky Barnes
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader, (husband!Bucky Barnes x wife!reader, dad!Bucky Barnes x mom!reader)
Word count: 2.4k
Warnings/Tags: Bucky being dad and hubby material, fluff, angst maybe?
Summary: Bucky and reader are married and have two girls, but because of Bucky’s work, reader decides to “break up” and have been separated for a few months. (Let’s say that this “job” was when the whole thing with John Walker happened in TFATWS, idfk lol)
A/N: so I’m currently writing a fanfic (on wattpad) and I had this idea, but I’m not there on the fanfic just yet lol so I decided to just post it here (also, my first language isn’t english so if there are any errors or mistakes, I’m sorry lmao)
The girls are like 4 and 5 years old and those aren’t the names I have planned on using for the fanfic, but it’ll do for now.. and Steve is alive and well lol (he doesn’t make an appearance, but I do mention him, like I said, this idea came as I was writing a fanfic so what I did was try and edit it a little bit so yall don’t need context and shit lol just enjoy okay?)
A/N #2: this is my first time doing this so just bare with me please lmao
It’s almost 10 pm which means Bucky must be on his way to bring the girls back after having them for the weekend. You were away in Seattle the whole weekend for work, but anyways it was Bucky’s turn to stay with the kids. They were supposed to stay with Wanda tonight, but since you arrived earlier than anticipated, you told her that Bucky was gonna bring them over.
You’re not on the best terms. Actually, you’re broken up at the moment and have been like that for like three months now. It all started because of Bucky’s “job”. You always said that he wasn’t being careful with the things he did and you didn’t like the constant worrying about him every time he went out to do his things. He didn’t really see it that way which made you get into a really bad fight and you decided to break up because he wasn’t putting his safety, or his family, as a priority and you didn’t like that.
Which was kinda true. So you’re currently not living together. Bucky has been staying with Steve, or with Sam whenever he comes to New York. The girls usually stay with you and then Bucky takes them on the weekends, but whenever you can’t take them to school (or get them on time) or something on week days, then Bucky takes them without a problem.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to pick them up for you?” Wanda asked while on FaceTime with you
“It’s alright, red, don’t worry.” You replied “Besides, Bucky’s probably on his way anyway.”
“Still haven’t talked?”
“Well we talk, just not about us.” You said walking out of the kitchen
“And are you guys still, like, mad or..?”
“I don’t know.” You let out a sigh
“Steve told you he got out.”
“I know.”
“So?”
“I just.. I don’t know, I haven’t talked to him about it.”
“Well I think you need to.” She said “Just have a little chat and see where things are at.. you guys still love each other.”
And you did. Of course you did. And the girls want you to get back together too. But you just haven’t talked about it again.
“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You replied and just as you said that, you saw the car lights through the window “He’s here, I gotta go.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
“I will, love you.”
“Love you more.”
You hung up the call and left the phone on the couch before heading to the door. You opened it and saw Bucky walking over to the house holding Olivia, your youngest, in his arms and Eloise was walking right next to him. And the three of them just looked tired as hell.
“Hi mommy.” Eloise ran over to you
“Hi, pretty girl.” You immediately hugged her
“Say hi to mama, Liv.” Bucky said as he got closer
“Hi mama.” Olivia opened her arms wanting you to pick her up so you did
“Hi, my angel.” You kissed her cheek
“Sorry to bring them so late, we just got out of the cinema.” Bucky said
“Buck, it’s fine, they don’t even go to school yet.” You told him “Did you guys have fun?” You asked the girls
“So much fun!” Eloise replied excitedly “We also went to the trampoline park earlier.”
“Oh well that explains why someone’s a little more tired than others.” You looked at Olivia and she rested her head on your shoulder
“Mommy, can daddy tuck us in tonight, please?” Eloise asked
“Baby, I’m sure mommy had a really long and tired flight and she just wants to sleep.” Bucky told her
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You said “Daddy will tuck you in, sweetheart.” You tucked a few strands of Eloise’s hair behind her ear
“Daddy, come on.” She grabbed Bucky’s hand
You all went inside and you gave the girls a quick shower before Bucky helped them get in their pjs.
“Mommy, are we staying with auntie Wanda tomorrow?” Eloise asked as she got on her bed
“Yes, baby, I need to go to work.” You replied
“Can’t we stay with daddy?”
“Daddy works too, honey.” You moved her hair out of her face “I thought you liked staying with auntie Wanda.”
“We do, but we wanted to stay with daddy again.” Olivia spoke
“Well I can pick you up at auntie Wanda’s house when I get out of work, how does that sound?” Bucky told them
“And we can get dippin dots too?” Olivia looked at him with puppy eyes
“We can get whatever you girls want.” He said squishing her cheeks making her giggle
You couldn’t help but smile a little. You loved watching Bucky with the girls, he really is an amazing father and they love him like crazy.
“Alright it’s getting super late, time to sleep.” You said to them
“But mom!” Eloise pouted
“No buts, listen to your mom.” Bucky said “Come on, get in bed both of you.”
Each of the girls got in their beds and Bucky went and tucked them both. They have their own separate rooms, but they’re pretty close and they’ve always wanted to sleep in the same room so when the time came and you bought Olivia her big girl bed, Bucky just placed it in Eloise’s room. Anyways, when the time comes when they get to the point where they don’t even want to look at each other, you’ll probably make Bucky move Olivia’s bed back to her room and problem solved. But for now, they absolutely love being in the same room.
“I love you.” Bucky kissed Olivia’s forehead “And I love you.” He then kissed Eloise’s “So so much.”
“We love you too, daddy.” They said
“Now get some sleep because auntie Wanda is coming early tomorrow to pick you up before I leave.” You leaned down to kiss each of them on their heads “I love you both so insanely much.”
“Love you too, mommy.”
“Now go to sleep or I’ll call the slender man.” Bucky said as he turned off the light
He quickly closed the door once you got out of the room and the girls let out a scream that made you both laugh.
“You’re evil.” You chuckled “Creating them traumas so young.”
“It gives them strength.”
You rolled your eyes laughing. “Of course.”
You both went downstairs and then Bucky went back to the car to bring back Olivia’s shoes and a few toys that the girls left in the car. While you put them on the dining table, Bucky was just telling you what they did and how the girls were on the weekend.
“Liv didn’t even asked for my help to wipe her after using the bathroom.”
“No?!” You looked at him kinda shocked
Potty training Eloise was way easier than training Olivia. First she was afraid of the toilet being flushed, then she was afraid that something would come out and bite her, then she didn’t want to stay alone while using the toilet. It’s been a rollercoaster for all of you.
“No, she did it all by herself.”
“Oh my god, really? I’m gonna cry.” You said with a hand on your chest
“She said she’s a big girl and big girls don’t need any help to go potty.”
“She is a big girl.” You said “Fuck, they’re both getting so big.”
“They are.” He nodded “How was Seattle?”
“Fucking amazing.” You said excited “It’s so pretty.”
“And how did it went? Are they planning on transferring you?”
“Hell no, I told Nick I’m not leaving New York.” You replied “If we were still living in the compound, then this would’ve been a whole different conversation, but we’re not and we have kids now so no, I’m not leaving even if they pay me more.”
“Well if they are paying you more then..” he raised his eyebrows
You laughed. “You know what I mean, idiot.” You rolled your eyes “But no, I’m not being transferred.”
“Then why did you go?”
“Nick said that they needed someone like me for some training.” You answered “It was great, I got to teach a few people about self defense, how exciting.”
“I’m glad.” He said with a small smile
He was genuinely happy for you. He knew how much you’ve missed working like that. Being an agent, a spy, you missed it. But at the same time, it wasn’t really in your plans anymore ever since you got pregnant with Eloise. It happened during the blip as well so you weren’t exactly working as an agent or spy anymore so you just decided to leave it behind for good. Until recently.
“You know, if it’s really what you want, then go for it.” He told you “The girls aren’t stopping you and neither am I.”
“I know, but it’s just that I feel like I’m on a different stage in life now.” You said “It felt fucking amazing, don’t get me wrong.”
“Then do it, talk with Nick and tell him to put you out there, that’s what you want.”
“I don’t know.” You let out a sigh
“We’re not going anywhere, you know that, right?” He said and you looked at him “And how cool would it be for the girls to say that their mommy is a spy?”
You laughed. “They will brag about it for sure.”
“And the best part is that you’re great at it and always have been.”
“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You shrugged looking at the time on the stove “It’s getting very late.” You looked at him
“Ouch okay, I’m leaving.”
“Oh my god.” You rolled your eyes
“Are we gonna keep this up?” He looked at you
“What?”
“This nonsense.” He motioned his hand between the two of you
“This nonsense?” You arched an eyebrow “Do I need to remind you whose fault is it that we’re on this position right now?”
“It could’ve gone so much better, but little miss I’m extremely petty over here, doesn’t like to listen to people and doesn’t care about anything other than her opinion.” He said
“Oh don’t make me mad, James.” You crossed your arms
“It’s the truth and you know it.”
“I think you can go now.” You said turning around and starting to walk away
“See what I mean?” You heard him say from behind “Can’t we just talk about it like normal people?” He asked following you
“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.” You said turning around to look at him
“Well I think it is.”
“Bucky..”
“Y/N, come on.” He sighed “It’s been three months, are you gonna keep pushing me away?”
And he’s right, you’ve been kinda pushing him away. To be honest, the whole thing could’ve been avoided if Bucky and you came to an agreement, but you never did. You were upset that he was going away with Sam to do all these things that you weren’t okay with and you were thinking about the kids, which, at the moment, he wasn’t doing and that pissed you off. That was the whole thing. He didn’t want to empathize with the way you were viewing the whole situation and he was kinda making you look crazy. Saying things like “it’s not a big deal” or “everything will be alright, you don’t need to freak out”.
How does he expect you to not freak out when he doesn’t care about doing all this dangerous things? Was he insane?
In other circumstances, if you didn’t have kids for example, maybe you would’ve been a little bit more okay with it, maybe. But it’s a whole different scenario now.
And you were kinda pushing him away, sort of. But it wasn’t intentional, it’s just that you were kinda petty and there were times where he wanted to kinda fix things, but you wouldn’t let him because you would find a way to push him away unconsciously.
“You made me feel like I was exaggerating when I clearly wasn’t.” You said
“Because at the moment I did feel that way and I didn’t want to view the situation the way you were.” He explained “And I know I was wrong for that and I’m sorry.”
You let out a sigh. “You still went.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I should’ve stayed here with you, I regretted it the moment I left with Sam.” He said “And I came back as soon as I could.”
“And you stayed with Steve.” You rolled your eyes
“Baby, you wanted to kill me, do you really think I was just gonna come and ask you to take me back after that shit? Like you were just gonna accept me.”
“… Well, you’re kinda right.”
“I know, Steve told me you were pissed and that you wanted to punch me.”
“I did tell him that.” You nodded
“I’m sorry, I really am.”
“It’s fine, just forget it, I’m sick of the topic anyway.” You replied leaning on the back of the couch
“But are we fine?” He asked
“I don’t know, are we?”
“Well I’d say we are, kinda.” He got closer to you “You want me to do anything?”
“You could start by fixing the damn back door.”
“Again? But I just fixed it a few months ago.”
“Well I think you did it wrong because the doorknob is broken again.”
“I need to change that fucking door already.” He rolled his eyes “Anything else? Are you still mad at me?”
“A little.” You replied
“Just a little?” He moved his hands to your hips “I can help you change your mind.”
“Easy there, soldier.”
“Easy my ass, come here.”
Before you could even protest, his real hand grabbed your neck and he pulled you in for a kiss that screamed need. You really missed his kisses and just the way he would always give you a peck, whenever and wherever, whatever you were doing, he didn’t give a single care in the world. This man could see you sitting on the toilet and he still would go and give you a quick kiss.
“God, I’ve missed you.” He whispered on your lips “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
“I did too.”
“Can we please never fight again?” He gently put his forehead against yours
“As long as you don’t piss me the fuck off doing some stupid shit like that again, we’re good.”
“Good.” He nodded before kissing you again
“And I swear to god..” you started saying between kisses “If I see you again that close to John Walker, I’m gonna kill you.”
“I know.” He said lowering his hands to the back of your thighs and picking you up
masterlist
a/n: should I post the fanfic here? What do we think? Lol (I’ve been thinking about it A LOT lately)
**UPDATE! I ended up uploading the fanfic and here is the masterlist for it lol
Anywaysss, hope you liked this! <3
(Likes and reblogs will be appreciated)
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky x you#marvel#mcu#fluff#bucky barnes x oc#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fic#bucky fanfic#marriage
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Hiii! I read your works alot because it's one of the active twst writers I see (I'm a dead writer myself LMAO)
Savanaclaw, riddle and Azul with a reader who's cheery and often bouncing with optimism that always has the mind boggling stories to tell. What do you mean that they literally man handed a lion because it won't stop messing around? What do you mean they were in a pit full of scorpions because they accidentally rolled down a hill? What do you mean they literally escaped a real decapitation (hinting towards Riddle LMAO) because he put one spoon full of herbs instead of a teaspoon? Like— they could go on forever! And the thing is, they have evidence of it.
Thank youuu 🫶🫶🫶🫶
A/N: Thank u so much I've been trying to stay on top of writing but it can get so hard!! But I really do try to keep this fandom alive w some goodies, anyways I'll stop yapping heres
Savanaclaw, Azul, and Riddle with a cheery, adventurous Reader!
Leona:
He didn't exactly always question your storytelling before he got to get to know you as he would rather spend time sleeping. But it seemed like literally everyone was captivated by your latest entertaining experience.
As you guys' relationship grew, it got to the point where he couldn't ignore you dropping an insane piece of lore about yourself.
"Yeah, I was accidentally poisoned before-"
"What did you just say-"
"It's okay though, the gnome did apologize and I got my stomach pumped but everything is all good!"
He makes sure to keep an eye out on you, and honestly your stories are the main thing that keep him awake during the day especially because they're real. And although it may seem he's nonchalant when you message him about where you're at, Leona always makes sure to respond as he does care.
Jack:
As your first friend at NRC and protector kinda, he would get paranoid when you would sometimes disappear. However at first Jack believed you were an independent person, and wasn't up to any nefarious activity.
Until you came back with a gorgon head in a brown sack where he was studying in the autobiography section in the library talking about that you accidentally defeated it.
He screamed in terror upon seeing the thing, causing for him to be shushed completely by offended students. But he could not care less due to the sliced head within the sack, however he quickly took you both outside and you being you didn't exactly see the problem in this situation.
Once you where in an open area near NRC's well he began to question you.
"Why-? A-And how? Why are you like this, do you know how much danger you were in?!"
"To answer all your questions in order, 1. I got lost and she had a huge problem with me, 2. I got scared and ran with my eyes closed with the sword and BOOM, just clean off, and yes I know I was in a lot of danger and I'm very sorry for not responding to your calls."
He was way too scared for both you and himself to respond and learned his lesson to keep an eye on you more.
Ruggie:
Ruggie always told you that he was a "see it to believe it" type person and he was never really believing your wild tales you would tell even if you came back with a little souvenir. He always just assumed you were pulling his leg for a bit.
Until he texted you one day over Magicam, since it was a slow day at the Savannaclaw dorm. Only for you to reply with a video, making him click on it not knowing what he should expect.
Queue you to being in an extremely angry dragon's mouth,
"Hey Ruuggieee! I'll get back to you later since I'm in a pickle right now, but I promise I'll call you when I'm done!"
He nearly passed out upon the sight because what in all of the sevens' names doing inside of that deadly beast. The beast man ended up walking to Ignihyde to possibly get Idia to track your location based on your I.P address, only for his phone to ring just as he was about to blab about what happened.
It was you!
He quickly picked up his phone to hear your excited voice blaring on the phone, "I told you I would call you back! Anyways, come over to my house I have something to show you."
You ended up bringing home a dragon's tooth and treasure and while Ruggie was overjoyed, he reprimanded you for being irresponsible.
But he wouldn't mind it too much if you brought back goodies like this just make sure to let him know so he could tag along.
Azul:
You were running late to a meeting about mending a contract between students he scammed. Since you know him quite well and is a good friend of his, the students thought your kind hearted nature could persuade him out of binding them to the Monstro Lounge for an entire semester.
He written in a small font on the contract that if you were over 15 minutes late, you would be unable to host this meeting and the deal would be off completely. The white haired boy glanced at the clock as the time ticked and he would have his own free work force.
Until you had to come 30 seconds from it being called off completely out of breath.
"Sorry Azul! But I got you a little present from the desert," you said dropping down in your seat and digging through this brown sack.
The ancient golden scarab of the Hot Sands.
"Is that-"
"The golden scarab included with the jewel eyes? Yup and I did it all by myself!" You said, extremely proud of yourself.
"Do you understand the value of what you have in your hand? And what were you doing all the way out there by yourself I just talked to you a day ago and that is damn near a 5 day journey?"
"I did this since I did the calculations and about an 1/4 of the wages that the students owe you is in the value of this jewel bug here. So if I split the riches with you, will you let them go?"
You did all of this for some measly students you knew in passing? How could you jeopardize yourself like that?
But he at the same time, respected you greatly and for your trouble and kind heart.
However, he told you to not go anywhere without telling him.
And no of course it's not because he cares about you and was scared once you told him where you went...of course not...
Riddle:
Is the first person who noticed you were gone because he likes to keep tabs on his friends. He didn't know what to expect but the red head just believed you were busy.
So, Riddle decided to shoot you a text as everyone was hanging out in the Heartslabyul dorm and he really wanted to see you.
'Good afternoon, Y/N please feel free to stop by the Heartslabyul dorm. Your company is very appreciated :)'
You quickly texted back, 'Hey Riddle! I'm gonna swing by with a surprise ;D'
He smiled at his phone, unknowing as to what you were going to bring by. Thinking you might bring by muffins or a sweet treat as such.
Not the sword of Excalibur.
You opened the door, bursting in loudly with the enormous sword slung on your back as Grim carried two sacks of gold. Everyone was completely flabbergasted, as the sword had been known to be a mythological thing not yet proven like the fountain of youth.
But there it was on your back as you grinned.
Turned out you picked up your first job at an exploration company and they sent you on a death wish mission to get this damn sword. And in contrary to what everyone believed would be the outcome, you succeeded and retrieved the artifact.
Unfortunately for you, you ended up being scolded for about two hours straight for being completely irresponsible by Riddle with some chime ins from your friends.
He admired your intense tenacity and bravery, but Riddle was super worried about you whenever you take on a quest. He forced you to have a partner whenever you go on missions and call him every time you reached an important point to make sure you were alive and safe.
"So... you really do care about me-"
"By the great seven- YES ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN KILLED IN THAT DAMN ENCHANTED FOREST-"
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland headcanons#twisted wonderland imagines#vil schoenheit#disney#disney twisted wonderland x reader#twst leona kingscholar#twst leona#leona kingscholar x reader#leona kingscholar#leona x reader#leona twst#leona twisted wonderland#twst ruggie#ruggie bucchi x reader#ruggie x reader#ruggie#ruggie bucchi#riddle rosehearts x reader#riddle rosehearts#twst riddle rosehearts#azul x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jack howl x reader#twst jack howl#azul ashengrotto
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— Lunch Break
— 🫧. Synopsis. Spencer hasn’t been feeling well lately. When he accidentally gives you his lunch as well as yours, you have to leave work to make sure he gets his lunch and eats to make sure he gets better. But the thing is, no one knew Spencer had married someone.
— 🫧. Warnings. Blue!collar reader. Female reader. Collective group shock lmao. Foul language. Welder!reader. Pet names. Possible out of character Spencer but i dont really care. I’m so sleep deprived yall.
— 🫧. Other welder!reader pieces. Alive and Breathing.
“Bye, angel,” you murmured after pressing a kiss to your sleepin husband’s cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Spencer replied tiredly, eyes opening the slightest bit. “I already put your lunch in your cooler. Be safe.”
You smiled. Of course, even though you have to leave at 2 in the morning, Spencer’s already five steps ahead. You turned to leave the bedroom but stopped after hearing him cough. “Before you leave- I got you a few more boxes of that DayQuill/NyQuill stuff and Mucinex. Should be on the counter. Make sure you take them, Spence. I know you haven’t been feeling well. Bye, I love you,” you spoke quickly, throwing your coat on.
Spencer felt a smile forming on his face. His wife: always attentive and gentle (to him at least). “I love you, baby.”
“Hey,” Spencer greeted, picking up his phone and heading out of the bullpen. “What’s up?” Spencer was confused: you didn’t usually call him or contact him when you were at work unless it was absolutely necessary. Were you in trouble? “Are you okay?”
“I’m alright, angel. I’m coming over to drop off your lunch. You, uh,” your voice paused, probably observing other drivers’ movements at a red light. “You gave me my lunch and yours. So I’m on my way. Do you want me to come up or… drop it off? I’m all dirty ‘n everything,” you rambled.
“I think you look hot when you get off of work,” Spencer replied with a smile. He felt himself sigh. He was glad nothing had happened to you.
Your laugh crackled through the line. “That’s because it’s a very physical job, Spence.”
Spencer chuckled, “No, babe, I think you’re just… naturally very attractive.”
“You’re too good for me, Spence. Did you take your medicine? You sound pretty nasally,” you questioned.
“Yeah, I took it,” Spencer replied quietly with a smile on his face. You noticed everything- and Spencer was the profiler! “Anyway, I gotta go, babe. Drive safe, my beautiful wife. I love you.”
“I love you too, husband.”
Spencer tucked his ohone back into his pocket and wandered back out to the bullpen. “Hey, so… I have something to tell you,” Spencer blurted out to Emily and Derek who were watching him like a hawk.
“What is it?” Emily asked immediately, eyebrows furrowing.
“So, I want to apologize for keeping this for so long but I just- I didn’t know how to tell you. I mean, not to mention the fact that you wouldn’t have believed me anyway but that’s not the point. The point is I want you to stay calm and don’t be mad at me.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, kid, slow your roll. What’s goin’ on?” Derek asked.
Spencer looked at both Emily and Derek before sighing. “My wife is gonna be swinging by soon and… she’s… all I’m asking is don’t scare her away. Actually,” Spencer paused, smiling slightly, “she might scare you a little bit.”
Emily’s brows raised higher then Spencer previously thought possible. “You… What?” She asked, standing up.
“You’re actually joking.” Derek stated, face solemn. “You’re joking, man, come on.”
Spencer shrugged, hand coming up to pull the necklace his ring was on from under his shirt to show his coworkers. “We went to the courthouse one year, eleven months. two weeks, four days, and twelve hours ago.”
Derek blinked. “Are- You’re seriously not joking?”
“I have the documents at home to prove it,” Spencer replied, tucking it back under his shirt. “If, you know, you want to see them.”
“I’d rather see her in person,” Emily stated, already starting her pacing. “But like, you didn’t kidnap her or anything did you?”
Spencer shook his head. “No, believe me. She loves me, Emily. I love her.”
Derek sat, hands on his head. “So we missed the wedding and everything? You didn’t say a word, man.”
Spencer nodded. “We were gonna tell you, invite you over for our anniversary.”
“Spencer, what’s her name?” Emily asked suddenly.
“Who’s name?” A low, gravely voice asked. Aaron Hotchner stood, hands on his hips, staring each of his agents down.
“Spencer’s wife’s,” Derek responded slowly.
“Oh,” Hotch replied casually.
“You knew?!” Emily asked loudly, mouth dropped open in shock.
“I saw he added someone else to the insurance, and there was another emergency contact. I haven’t seen her though,” Hotch answered honestly.
“When’s she gonna be here?”
“Soon. She called me probably five minutes ago, so estimating the amount of traffic about this time, I’d guess probably ten minutes.”
“I assume you can find something to do for ten minutes?” The corner of Hotch’s lip turned up just the slightest bit, and he had a hint of amusement in his voice. When Derek finally tore his eyes off of Spencer and Emily bee-lined for her desk, Hotch turned around and stalked over to Rossi’s office to tell him the good news.
Spencer stood up when he heard the unmistakable sound of your steel-toed boots making comtact with the floor. A sweet smile painted his face as he gravitated to you, shoulders relaxing at your presence. “Hey, baby,” he whispered when he was close enough to you.
“Hi you,” you replied, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. You brandished a brown paper bag, Spencer’s name written in your handwriting.
Emily watched you walk in. You were wearing two shirts, dark in color with small holes decorating the sleeves and the hem of both shirts. Your pants were dark and thick, dark liquids and stains all over them. The boots on your feet were definitely thick: steel toed if Emily had to guess. A physical worker, she put the pieces together. Electician? That wouldn’t explain all the stains. Mechanic? Couldn’t be: why would your shirts be all torn if you were fixing cars? Welder? The pieces fit, though Emily wasn’t too educated in that department. She had respect for you. Not many women Emily knew could handle the responsibilities of such a physical job, or handle all the creeps, jerks, and perverts that passed in your workplace.
“Derek,” Emily whisper-yelled. He looked up and she gestured to where Spencer had strode over to you.
“Come on.”
Emily stood up, brushing her hands on her pants and followed Derek to where you were conversing.
“-come back? He’s been slacking off too much, baby, you shouldn’t let him keep relying on you to get his stuff done,” Spencer rambled angrily.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle, Spence. How are you feeling? I brough- oh. Hi,” you greeted.
“Hi! Mrs. Reid, right?” Emily asked, sticking her hand out.
You smiled brightly and nodded. When you saw her hand and showed her your own: “I don’t, uh, think you’d want to do that,” you murmured.
“Doesn’t bother me,” Emily assured honestly.
You returned her genuine smile and clasped her hand. “Thank you. You’re… Emily? Right? And then you’re Derek?” You asked, turning to face Morgan.
“That’s us,” Morgan answered.
“I don’t think Spencer’s brought me up. I’m y/n Reid,” you introduced. “Sorry for all the grime. I came to drop off Spencer’s lunch,” you explained, shooting Spencer a smile, who kept his eyes trained on you the whole time.
“Good to meet you, y/n.” Emily said. “If… if you’re alright with it, I’d like to get the team together. To meet you. If,” she glanced between you and Spencer who was watching you unblinkingly, “that is okay with both of you? I don’t want to push you.”
Derek side eyed Emily. Penelope would probably scare y/n away, even though she didn’t mean to.
“Up to you, baby,” Spencer murmured when you turned to face him.
“Doesn’t bother me,” you answered. Glancing at your Casio, you nodded, “I’ve got an hour.”
“It’ll be fast,” Emily reassured with a smile.
Emily and Derek split up, Emily going up to get Rossi and Hotch, Derek rounding up JJ and Garcia.
“Are you sure, baby?” Spencer asked. He led you to his desk, setting down the bag you gave him. “I don’t- they-“
“Do you want us to do this another day? When I’m not in my work clothes?” You asked, refusing to sit down on anything.
Spencer shook his head. “No, no. I just want you to be prepared. They can be overwhelming.”
“‘Overwhelming’ I hear?”
You turned your head and saw two men and Emily walking towards you both. The younger looking one was Hotchner because you knew David Rossi’s face; him being a famous author and everything.
“Hello! You must be the missus,” Rossi greeted, sticking his hand out. Good lord, you thought, feds and their handshakes.
You showed Rossi your dirt stained hands and opened her mouth.
“We’ve touched dead bodies, y/n. I promise we won’t get upset at a little grease,” Emily explained gently. Good god, you thought.
Regardless, you shook Rossi and Hotch’s hand, grateful for Emily’s reassurance. Spencer wrapped an arm around your shoulders. He leaned in, whispering “You’re doing great, baby.”
“So,” Hotch began, “I want to personally thank you for keeping Reid sane and healthy.”
Emily and Rossi both laughed. “Yeah, he’s got enough trouble on the field,” Emily joked.
You elbowed Spencer, a grin painting your face. “Is that right?”
“Doesn’t matter if it’s right or not: I’ll always come back to you,” Spencer replies softly, eyed swiftly darting to your lips.
“Spencer!” You reprimanded, smacking him (lightly) on the stomach. “Your bosses are right there, you-“
A loud shriek cut you off, making everyone’s gaze dart to a person behind you. “She’s real! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Reid! You didn’t even drop a singular hint that you were hitched!”
Spencer chuckled, pulling your form a little closer to his. “If I remember correctly, JJ saw my ring when I was asleep on the plane: I assumed she had told everyone and you didn’t want to bring it up.”
“For a genius, you’re pretty dumb,” a new voice cut in. “Hi, I’m Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ.” The blonde smiled warmly and brought you in for a swift hug.
“Ah! Hello, you gorgeous soul! I’m Penelope!” A shorter blonde, more colorful and energetic, embraced you. “I’m so glad to meet you, even though, you know, I didn’t even knew you existed until about two minutes ago.” She shot your husband a look. “But, I would cery much like to get to know you, as would JJ and Emily if you can’t tell.”
You smiled. “I’d love to now, but seeing as I’m technically on my lunch break, I don’t think I’ll have time to do everything you probably have in mind. Could we,” you turned to Spencer, eyes glinting, “bring them over for dinner?”
“Anything you want, babe,” Spencer replied. Truly, if you had asked him to give you his heart, he would find a way to rip the organ out of his chest and give it to you in his bood stained hands. Dinner? No problem.
“I’ll give you my number. Penelope could make a groupchat or something,” you suggested.
Everyone nodded. Hotch was looking forward to this dinner. And Rossi, no matter what he said.
After you gave Penelope your phone number and everyone dispersed, Emily and Derek were wise enough to go busy themselves with a vending machine.
“You alright, baby?” Spencer asked.
You nodded. “I’m alright. Glad I finally met them. I, uh, hope you’re not mad about the dinner thing.”
Spencer scoffed. “I wouldn’t get mad over that.”
You shrugged. “Well. I should probably head back to work. Sorry for getting you all dirty,” you apologized again, pulling away from Spencer quickly, remembering you were in your work attire.
“It’s alright, baby. ‘M just glad I got to see you.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, a sly smile forming on your face. “You’ve been awfully sappy lately, Spence. Are you sure you’re alright? I’m seriously considering taking you to a doctor.”
Spencer laughed. “I’m your sap,” he responded casually.
“Okay. Seriously. Stop making me get lost in your eyes because I got to go to work. Bye. I love you,” you babbled, pulling Spencer down to kiss you.
“Bye, wife,” Spencer whispered into your lips.
“Bye, husband.”
#wyf this is trasj#x reader#x female reader#female reader#fluff#jules writes 📓🖊#spencer reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#dr. spencer reid#criminal minds drabble#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic
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In The Light Of Our Demise
► 𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛���𝚗𝚐 - photographer!wooyoung x fem!reader!Y/N x OT8Teez! (𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 - fluff, friendship, unrequited love, slice of life, angst, plot twist, slow burn, friends to-strangers to-friends , moving on , happy ending (or is it?) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 - depression, anxiety ◄ ► 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 23.4K ◄ ► 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 - someone who was afraid of getting out of their comfort zone and someone who was afraid of committing to anything and anyone is never a good combination. Would Wooyoung remain in your life if you confessed? If he left, what would you do? ◄
► 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 - Hello! This is my first fanfic, at least here on Tumblr! Cut me some slack I suppose lmao and let me know if I should continue. If so, let me know if you want to be added to my future taglist! Title from Motionless In White. ◄
I'm not God, but they're trying to kill me. This all-knowing desperation I've been feeling for quite sometime now, I mean.
I don't remember the last time I've felt this lonely. There were times where my emotions felt a little too much to handle, but not to the point that rendered me unable to want to feel alive. Today, the sadness drained through me rather than lingering outside my skin, traveling through every nerve, but to my surprise, it rather electrified me to want to do something.
That's good, right? And so I did.
"I'll be back at noon," I told my kind mother, passing through her to try and get to the door before I changed my mind.
"I'm glad you've been going out lately, honey. Let me know when you need anything, okay?" she beamed, quite pleased that I was trying to do something with my life rather than mope around in my room all day.
Oh, how clueless she was. The truth was, I didn't want to let her know about the consuming melancholy that my heart had been feeling.
Ever since I had decided to quit my job, nothing but bad luck has been coming my way. I know it was stupid, to just up and go just because I was unsatisfied with what I was doing, but truth be told, I was not happy anymore. I could never go on doing something I truly wasn't happy with.
But I was bored out of my mind, and most of all, I felt utterly useless and hopeless. It was dangerous - the path my thoughts were taking me. It's the road that led to my burnout, and the impatience this world had always given me.
"No point in trying to convince myself that things would be different," I mumbled to myself, sitting on the park bench nearby.
Click, click
I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice that my feet took me to the park I always went to when I just wanted to be alone in my thoughts and think of my next move. I suppose I was always so discontented with my life that my body had subconsciously learned what to do on its own.
Click, click
No matter, I thought, I was the master of pushing it through. My path had been very foggy lately, anyway. I just have to be patient if the world can't do it for me so I can wait for it to clear up and show me the next adventure that lay ahead of me.
Click, click
I frowned, what in the hell is that clicking sound I keep hearing?
I pulled my cardigan close, as if doing so would stop the exposure I suddenly felt from being out in the open. I looked around, but there was nothing. There were parents with their children, dogs with their owners, coaches with their students, and ducks with their ponds.
"Miss? You dropped this---"
"Oh my God!" I squealed like cattle about to be slaughtered as I turned around to find the source of the sudden voice. I had always been jittery, you see.
I turned around, and the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life was behind me holding what seems to be my phone. I didn't even realize that I'd dropped it while I was busy spacing out in my thoughts.
His eyes were widened, directed at me. I guess I'm not the only jittery one here.
He had average length hair that swayed with the oncoming wind, but what set it apart was its bright red tone that was as vivid as the flowers that surrounded both of us. His lips were plump and raised into a charming smile and his steps had a bounce to them.
Oh God, be still, my beating heart. I blushed, the red tinge on my cheeks vibrant in contrast to my pale skin. I hope he can't hear how loud my heart is beating.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you," I was meeker than I usually was.
He saw the surprise register on my face before I could hide it. His smile becomes wider, I guess he gets this a lot, and the heat on my face gets warmer. If he wasn't good-looking before, he definitely was now.
"Don't worry about it, I didn't mean to scare you," he laughed, handing me my phone. I slowly took it, praying that my hands didn't shake too much.
I swallowed. Even his voice was pretty. It reminded me of soft marshmallows, so pillowy and comforting, so sweet and yet so rich at the same time. I mentally slap myself, I haven't gone out in days and the first thing I do is openly check out a guy who was nice enough to give me my phone back instead of running away with it?
My voluntary isolation sure did its number on me.
But then I saw it. There was something slinging across his shoulder - a bag. It donned a big camera that I knew for a fact was quite expensive. So that was the clicking sound I heard earlier, he was a photographer.
"Ah," he began, scratching the back of his head. "I was snapping pictures of you earlier with this." He gently pats the bag. "Would you like to see?"
"S-Sure," I agreed, hesitant.
"I'm not a creep, I promise," he panicked, animatedly defending himself by making a point to wave his hands in front of me. I giggled a little. He was cute. "I do this for a living, street photography I mean."
"I see. I, uh, sorry to disappoint you, Mr..?"
"Oh. I'm Wooyoung. And why are you sorry? I'm the one who took photos of you randomly," he tilted his head in confusion.
"It's not that," I paused, biting my lip, not knowing how to proceed. I don't miss the way his eyes follow the movement. "I haven't been myself lately, so I probably look unfit for your photography concept..."
I wasn't trying to fish for any sort of compliment. It was true, I did look and feel like shit, to put it simply. I haven't been taking care of myself lately - my clothes were wrinkly, my hair was a bird's nest, my eyes had no life in them, and my face has been splotchy with my dark circles and zit marks.
Unlike him. He was casual, but there was coordination with his outfits, and they looked impeccably new.
"On the contrary, Miss...?"
I laughed a bit. He was cute, and very playful at the same time. What a dangerous combination. His mouth curls into a good-natured smirk. "Y/N. Drop the 'miss', it makes me feel old."
It was his turn to laugh a bit. "On the contrary, Y/N, yours was the best photo I have taken this week."
My blush deepens immensely, more than I thought I was able to. I matched it with a small, shy smile as my eyes shone in a way that only genuine happiness and appreciation can bring.
I've always been like that. I wish I didn't get so flustered easily. In a flash, my cheeks are rosy and anyone can peek inside my emotions as I had pried my insides open so they watch for themselves.
"Somehow I don't believe that," I chuckled, mentally rolling my eyes.
"No, I'm serious, here," Wooyoung zips his bag open, brings out the expensive looking camera, and presses a button that brings it back to life. "I'll show you."
Wooyoung scoots closer to me, bringing the equipment near my face so I can see the screen. I was so embarrassed at how much I had the urge to sniff him.
He smelled so good - very musky, leathery but very clean at the same time. It gives me the image of a pure sophistication behind a light curtain that envelops you in warmth.
I let out a light gasp, complete surprise taking over the shyness I felt earlier.
There I was, staring out nowhere in particular at the bench I was brooding my bad mood off on. But it wasn't me that stole both of our attention, there was a beautiful wisteria tree I hadn't noticed before behind me.
It was beautiful. The way they cascaded into this marvelous tendrils of purple beauty blended with how forlorn my expression was; the longing, regret, and despondence clearly evident, like the slow descent of its lilac petals, way down they go.
To the naked eye, it looked like a depressed girl with a pretty tree in the background, but to me and Wooyoung, it was so much deeper than that. The photo held so much depth, because at the same time, there was relief in my features. The sadness was exquisite.
"You," I paused, swallowing to force the words out of my mouth. "You made me look human."
"What makes you think I didn't capture you because you were the most human looking in here?"
His smile was the prettiest thing I've seen in a while, prettier than the wisteria, and I can tell it was genuine. I could have melted in a puddle right there. His eyes sparkle like the night sky as he browses at each photo he had taken. He had the passion I lacked.
"Do you want copies of it?" Wooyoung inquired.
Did I want copies of it? Did I want to stare at myself and get reminded every time about how lonely my life currently was? I don't know, I wasn't the sentimental type. He senses my hesitation and frowns a bit.
He grabs a small piece of card and hands it to me. "Here's my card," he points at it. "That's the address, come swing by whenever you have the chance and I will give it to you, okay?"
I bit my lip apprehensively with a nod, pocketing the card in my cardigan. "Alright, I will think about it."
"I hope you do," he clicks his tongue, swiping it across his bottom lip. I stopped breathing for a second. "I wouldn't want to waste such a pretty photo."
I swallowed. "A-Ah, do I have to pay for it?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he smirked, gently tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "There, much better."
I froze, not really knowing what to do. I sighed softly, I have been so deprived of touch because I poured all of my time on work. Well, at least what used to be my work.
Wooyoung juts his hand out, waiting for me to shake it. I grabbed his hand halfheartedly. "I hope we see each other again," he said.
After we said our goodbyes - him being bubbly to the very end as he walked away and me just nodding as I watched him go - I treaded my way home.
I took out the card he gave me earlier, which turned out to be a business card, I realized, and not just a personal card. Of course, Y/N, he just met you, why would he give you his personal details? As I inspected the card further, it brought me slight joy to know that his work place wasn't far from my house, just a couple of blocks away.
I was hesitant, truth be told, it was probably a one time encounter, most likely a business tactic to get someone to go into their studio and do business with them. I felt bad because Wooyoung seemed like a genuine person, but there was no way I was adding any sort of change in my current life right now, my mind was a mess as is.
With that, I crumpled up the card and threw it in the nearest bin.
I paused at the doorway, hesitating before anyone - Wooyoung - knew I was here. I knew I had to go in, and by God, I was nervous as hell. I just needed a few minutes to compose myself.
The curiosity had been eating away at me. It had been 2 weeks before deciding I would stop prancing around at it and just get it over with.
To hell with it, I thought, hastily putting on the most mediocre outfit I can get away with today. It wasn't meant to impress, a simple white tee paired with jeans and sneakers was enough to look decent and be comfortable at the same time.
Deep inside, maybe I just wanted to see the striking photographer again and hear his voice; to see his sparkling eyes that quickly held me in like a moth to a flame.
I stepped in and was immediately greeted by a myriad of photographs that were just placed where they were, the closest thing we get to a time capsule. I was immediately amazed by how versatile the photos were - all of them had their own stories to tell.
A photograph of an old, vintage clock caught my attention. I'm not very knowledgeable, but it was an antique, I was sure of it. It was made out of wood that probably looked sleek during its era.
Unconsciously, I touched the frame, like it would come back to life if I did. Then, I saw something at the bottom right of the frame. Taking a closer look, it was a series of small letters stamped on it.
J. WY/Budapest, Hungary/2023/Paradigm
I traced the embossed letters lightly with my fingertips. It was obvious that this one was Wooyoung's piece. He had a very particular style in his art, he tended to focus on the subjects and the corresponding backgrounds were something to compliment the subject, and not to supply added detail. It was very interesting.
"I can hear the gears in your head turning from where I am."
I was a deer in headlights once more with him. "You got a thing for sneaking up on me?" I teased.
There he was in his handsome glory leaning by the door with his arms crossed. "Maybe," he smirked coyly.
My heart went up to my throat when I realized that today, his hair slicked back today. I was able to see his face clearly, his beauty was insane. Heaven knows I would look like a wet chicken. He walks steadily towards me and stares fondly at the vintage watch photo.
"I went to Budapest with all of my friends, we all work in this studio together, for a vacation," he chuckled, reminiscing. "But I couldn't resist not taking the scenery for work. God, that place was beautiful..."
Just like you.
I cringed internally, turning my head a bit away from him so he couldn't see the grimace on my face. It wasn't a lie, he was beautiful, but I wasn't going to admit that to him, or anybody for that matter.
"I like them," I thoughtfully mumbled.
Wooyoung turns to look at me, and I tried very hard not to look at him back by pretending that I was inspecting the photo furthermore. There was not a lick of knowledge in my head about photography, I hope he doesn't notice that.
He stares for what seemed like forever, not blinking nor breathing, the effect was a slow burn waiting to incinerate the thin thread that bound us both. Although I wasn't looking straight at him, it was his lips that gave away that he knew that I knew what he was doing; he wasn't smiling, there was just a slight tilt on one corner.
"Do you, now?" he wondered, now full-on smirking.
"Yes," I affirmed. Was that rhetoric? Was I supposed to say no?
He audibly sighed, and I frowned. I know that sound, it was the sound of negative memories suddenly surging our minds, crashing in like a tidal wave, and my, once you start? They become very addicting, slowly consuming your thoughts until they become no more.
"You know, I never used to look at the photos I snap after I take 'em?" Wooyoung's smile was tinged with hurt, but more so of reminisce. "I just snap, snap, and then keep snapping and hope for the best outcome when San develops them in the back for me."
"Is that what you did when you stole those moments of mine a couple of weeks back?" I swallowed nervously, my body was already anxious and my brain is trying to catch up on it any moment now.
"No," he firmly articulated, so firmly my heart leapt to my throat and tightened it further.
Wooyoung gently grabs my chin, turning it towards himself so I can make eye contact with him. "Because I knew you wouldn't come back to me until a few days after. I saw it in your eyes."
To him? This was the second time he stole something from me. Instead of a photo, now it was the breath from my lungs. I am on fire, my skin was burning from his touch.
"Frankly, I wasn't expecting two weeks, that was longer than I anticipated," he chuckled lowly, his thumb caressing my cheek tenderly, and I let him. I was too frozen to protest.
"You knew all that even before you approached me that day? From that far?" I raised a brow. I was hesitant, but I was willing to play his game even though I knew he was probably bullshitting me.
"I'm a photographer, Y/N. It's my job to look through the windows of people's souls---"
"What do you want from me?"
Wooyoung lets go of my face, hands now in his pockets. He doesn't look a bit surprised, just a little concerned. "What do you mean?" he frowned, tilting his head to the side in wonder.
The paranoia in me had always been borderline terrified of not only trying new things, but also meeting new people in association. The underlying fear of deception from years and years of let down between family and friends has rendered me closed off of opening allowances to let myself experience new things and let people in.
"You act like we're friends, and we are not," I bit my lip, exasperated. "I don't like that."
"Are you saying that there are certain prerequisites to being friends with other people?" Wooyoung tuts, frowning deeper. "Everyone has to start from somewhere, no?"
He was right, I can admit that. I began to see how my self-deprecating thoughts had kept me all alone, and frankly, I was none the wiser on what it's like on the side.
"I'll tell you what, Y/N, how about I give you your photo and you can tell me what you're thinking over coffee, perhaps? I make a mean cup of coffee," Wooyoung suggested kindly, his eyes shining in anticipation for my response.
I frowned, shuffling my feet in anxiety. "What if people come inside your studio? And your friends?"
"Don't worry about that," he smiled, already taking a step towards the other room where he came from. "We actually don't open on the weekends. I just always came in because I was worried you would come looking for me when I wasn't here."
It was such a simple gesture, but it blew both my heart and my mind. My heart is so full right it could burst in any minute.
Wooyoung flashes me his million dollar smile, the one that made me want to see him again, and holds his hand out for me to grab. "Why are you hesitating?"
"I hesitate because I need to be sure because for the first time in a while, there are things that I do want, and the consequences of my errors would forever haunt me," I blurted uncontrollably, babbling before I could stop my mouth from speaking.
My mind began to work overload with anxiety but before I could act out on them, Wooyoung laughed out loud. His eyes crinkle upwards into the cutest crescents, and his beautiful lips stretched out with mirth.
His laughter reminded me of a fox, loud and boisterous, and I couldn't help but join in with him as he warmed my soul and made my day. "You're fine, come on," he urged me in between laughter.
More photos, albeit with unfinished frames, greeted me when I followed Wooyoung into what I can only assume was the kitchen. It was small, but it was nice and actually very functional. I sat into one of the sleek, modern stools and leaned towards the small kitchen island while Wooyoung went to town and made both of us coffee.
"Sugar?" he absentmindedly asked.
"H-Huh?" I was a deer in sudden headlights.
Wooyoung seemed to be confused too as we both looked at each other in bewilderment. Without warning, his face contorts into a laughing mess again, making me blush.
"I was asking if you wanted sugar in your coffee," he chuckled. "Although if you want me to call you sugar, that could be arranged too."
I blushed even deeper, awkwardly covering my face in embarrassment. I felt the tips of my ears heat up and I must have looked so stupid in front of him. "Stop," I groaned, my voice muffled by my hands.
And being the gentleman he was, he did actually stop teasing me.
But it was mainly because he had two steaming mugs of coffee carefully balanced with his two hands as he walked towards me. I mumbled a 'thanks' when I received mine.
"Now we can talk about why you're very sad," Wooyoung took a sip from his mug without breaking eye contact with me. I gulped.
My brows shot upwards in surprise and my eyes widened in apprehension at the same time. "How did you know I was sad?" I inquired, not sure on how to react.
Wooyoung smiled mischievously. "I just do," he winked.
Having no choice, and frankly having no one to talk to in general, I told him everything. I told him how I had quit my previous job because I was beginning to feel very unhappy with the toxicity that surrounded me and how suffocating it was to stay in a place where you weren't even wanted.
I told him how I was trying to look for another job, but the fear of trying a new one and not being sure if it was a good suit for me was a little daunting, so to speak.
He listened attentively to each word I said, not once interjecting to put his two cents in before I was done finishing, and only asking me some small questions for the sake of clarification.
It almost makes me want to cry at how attentive he was to me, even though this was only the second time we're meeting. The way his eyes bore into me while I poured my heart out, the way he would nod and acknowledge the things I would say, he was such a good listener.
I can't say I've had too many good friends in my life, though there have been a few close ones, they were not enough for me to say that they were good to me. Wooyoung seemed to be a rare gem, one that I would love to keep for myself.
"What if I told you I know a place where you can start working?"
"You do?" I was hopeful.
Wooyoung nodded. "But are you sure you're going to be okay going to work so soon again?"
My chest warms up with his words. "I have to do it," I sighed deeply. "Y-You were right, if I don't start now, then I won't start at all."
He smiles broadly. "That's a good outlook, I like that..."
He proceeded to tell me about the boutique down the street a couple of blocks away from his studio and they were looking for someone to keep tabs of sale and returned products. As it turned out, the owner was Wooyoung's very close friend and the boutique was where they get their clothes and props whenever they had a photoshoot going on.
"He's a nice guy and I'm positive he'll like you, just let me call him so I can pitch in a word for you, hmm?" Wooyoung pulled his phone out and was about to dial the number, but I interjected before he could do it.
"W-Wait, don't do it," I squeaked, holding my hands out to him to stop him from doing so.
"What's the matter?" Wooyoung's eyes softened at my panicked state and I almost felt bad. I barely knew this man and he probably thinks I'm so pathetic already. It was disheartening.
"You've helped me so much already, I'd feel bad if you did this for me," I admitted.
"And what exactly have I done for you?"
"Listening to me rant was a big thing for me, and you do make a mean coffee," I giggled, he smiles shyly. "And you gave me justice on the photo you took of me."
"Speaking of that," Wooyoung stood up from his stool. "Wait here."
He left to go back to the front entrance of the studio, and he came back immediately. "Here."
He nudged a square-shaped packaging in front of me. I took it and from touch, I knew it was a picture frame that he had wrapped so carefully and perfectly, there were no creases on the wrap. My heart was beating so fast and my fingers were shaking ever so slightly.
"Open it when you get home," he instructed. "And I'm going to call him, my friend I mean. If I'm helping you anyway, I might as well go all out on it."
"It's not a big deal," Wooyoung continued when I didn't respond, playfully flicking my forehead. "What are friends for?"
An explosive sensation boomed its way into my head all the way down to my chest, leaving a searing type of numbness in its trail. "Okay," I mumbled.
Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to him because I told my mother I was only picking the picture frame up, I was not expecting to stay this long, so she was probably worried. Fortunately, Wooyoung understood and walked me out. We couldn't properly converse afterwards anyway because a client of his suddenly called out of the blue after he had dropped the call with his boutique owner friend.
We said our goodbyes and I speed walk all the way to my house with the carefully wrapped picture frame in my hands. There was an explosion in my brain - the good kind - and a surge of excitement that electrified my whole being. I could feel it in my bones.
This is the very time I have ever been excited with a mystery. I hated surprises growing up because I was scared I wouldn't like the surprise.
With no time to waste, I quickly locked myself in my room, taking all of my clothes off in a haste and replacing them with something more comfortable and nap worthy. I unwrapped the gift like an animal tearing its prey apart to find their treasure inside.
Tears found their way in my eyes. I had no words, the photo itself was beautiful, I had seen it before, but Wooyoung had left a small note taped on the frame for me to read when I opened it.
You're worth more than you think. Wanna hang out tomorrow, beautiful? I also make mean brownies ;)
I completely broke down, hysterically crying not from sadness, but from the joy of the events that have been happening to me. Maybe being his friend wasn't so bad after all.
"So you must be Y/N, correct?"
Having a direct connection like Wooyoung did wonders from my interview process and I was called exactly a week after he made the call.
"Y-Yes, I am," I did a deep 90 degree bow immediately, but not before the man's eyes widened a bit. "L/N Y/N, Sir. I'm very h-honoured to be chosen for this role."
Needless to say, I am a nervous wreck. Wooyoung conveniently forgot to tell me that this was no ordinary boutique. It's a very well known fashion brand that had the catchy 'started from the bottom, now we're here' origin story.
I opened my eyes, I didn't notice they were tightly shut before, when I felt hands nudging me to stand up straight. "It's okay," he laughed. "I don't bite, please stand up..."
This one was handsome as well. He had an edgier style to him that was unique to him and him only. Think bold, defiant, and unconventional. His blue hair added to that grunge aesthetic.
He cleared his throat before speaking. "Kim Hongjoong, owner, and your future boss," he grinned.
My face pales a bit. The Kim Hongjoong? The great mind behind the boutique NO1LIKEME? The one Wooyoung had casually called and got me in? What has my life become in a month?
"Scaring the new girl already, Joong?"
I turned around, and a taller man with dark hair and almond shaped eyes smiled lightly at me with his thick lips. I almost rolled my eyes, either I'm losing my mind, or Wooyoung, himself, and all of his friends are all damn attractive.
"Oh, this is her?" he pointed at me, to which Hongjoong nodded. "I see. Song Mingi, thank you for considering us."
Thank me? I scoffed internally, the co-founder of NO1LIKEME is thanking me for working with them? I suppose that was why they were successful.
Mingi excused himself to man the business while Hongjoong had toured me around the shop. It was a lot bigger on the inside than I had initially thought.
I couldn't help but become very excited as Hongjoong showed me how he personally designs most of their pieces without trying to mass produce the majority of their products, which was very respectable on his end because mass producing can downgrade their quality.
The brand that I only reached in my dreams is now my workplace. I have to thank Wooyoung personally when I see him again.
They needed someone to do inventory checks and match them with the accountancy department. Hongjoong has a big project coming soon to collaborate with an international brand and Mingi has to take over for now while he's abroad. Fair enough.
As we were about to go into his office to sit down and discuss further, I stopped in my tracks. The most gorgeous black, flared dress was hanging in one of the posts. It's very simple, but very versatile, not too long as it stopped above the knee, and the sheer bodice elevated it.
"You like it?" Hongjoong asked before I had the chance to feel the fabric.
"I love it, actually. I've never seen anything like it," I admitted.
He chuckled, plucking the dress from its hanger and handed it to me gently after he folded it in half. "Make sure it's well-loved, then, because it's yours now."
"W-What?" I spluttered, eyes wide open. "No, I was just admiring it, I can't possibly take it. C-Can I pay for it, at least?"
"Think of it as your first day perk," he shrugged. "And no offense, giving away one dress isn't going to make a dent in my business."
I blushed, embarrassed to the highest degree. I was just about to thank him profusely when Mingi suddenly popped his head by the door.
"They're here," was all he said before Hongjoong and I walked back into the main part of the shop.
And there he was - Wooyoung. He was in an engrossed conversation with Mingi along with another - surprise, surprise - handsome man. He had a manlier aura to him compared to the other three, which was an interesting mix to his feline features.
Wooyoung, as if sensing I was present, turned to my direction and the look in his eyes made my insides churn in excitement. His friends were all pretty, but none of them had an effect on him like he did.
"Hey Joong," Wooyoung greeted after approaching me and Hongjoong from across the boutique. He smiled even brighter as he ruffled my hair lightheartedly. "Are you taking care of my Y/N?"
I blushed beet red, lowering my gaze with a nervous laugh to avoid any sort of eye contact. He can't just say these things and not expect me to react! The cat-looking man Wooyoung was with smirks at me, clearly amused.
But maybe, it was just me putting more to it than I should. Wooyoung has been nothing but kind to me and I can't reciprocate that with anything other than gratefulness.
"Get the hell out of here," Hongjoong chided, rolling his eyes, but teasingly because his eyes were full of the same mischief, but they were gone when he turned to me. "My assistant, Jongho, will call you sometime this week so you can get started officially."
I stopped the urge to bow deeply again at him as he turned around to go back behind the shop and instead repeated multiple 'thank yous' at him to express my gratitude.
"Y/N, this is San, my long time friend and co-worker in the studio," Wooyoung introduced me to the other guy he was with when there were just the three of us left.
San smiles and his deep dimples pop out along with it. He nods in acknowledgement. "Very nice to meet you, Y/N, I personally loved that one photo of yours that Wooyoung took."
"He is a good taker," I shyly replied, blushing at the compliment, although I knew it wasn't directly referenced to me.
San snorted. "Yeah, that's the only thing he's good at."
"Hey!"
Wooyoung playfully swatted San's bulky arms in defense. We all had a small laugh before they both noticed the bag I was holding with the dress inside of it. I simply told both of them that Hongjoong had just given it to me after I admired it.
Behind the strict demeanor of being a boss, was the very generous and giving nature of Hongjoong, apparently. He had meant to give me something anyway simply because I was now friends with them, and also because Wooyoung spoke highly of me. I slightly felt bad because really, I would have been fine without it.
I should have thanked him more before he left.
"I would love to stay with you both and hang out," San glances at his phone to check the time. "But I have business to attend to. Where's Mingi?"
I pointed at some random door where I saw the latter enter earlier. I was about to leave since technically today wasn't my first day, just an introduction to the shop, and was about to basically run back to my house, when Wooyoung follows me out the door and slings his arms across my shoulders.
"Oh, you're leaving San?" I halted on my tracks, blushing profusely like some hormonal teenager that's never been touched by the opposite sex before.
"He was never meant to come," he chuckled. "I was about to fetch you and he decided he was going to come with me since he has to pick up some props from this gig we have next week."
My heart was pounding against my chest like a bird wanting to be out of its cage. He was so close to me, so close I could smell his breath, his body heat seeping into my subliminal thoughts.
This was an invasion, an unwanted intimacy. How have I lived without it for so long?
"Are you tired?" Wooyoung suddenly asked, breaking my thoughts apart and scattering them with the wind.
"N-No, not really. Why?"
He pulls me closer, my body plush against his. I wanted to melt. "Good," he grinned. "Let's go."
He starts to walk, but I plant my feet firmly on the ground. "Woah, wait, where are we going?"
"Would you say yes if I said I already reserved a spot to this brunch spot?"
I blinked owlishly at him. "No, I can't, I already ate before I called Mingi..."
The truth was, I was slightly ashamed to go. The last thing I wanted was to be treated like some sort of charity case.
Also the reason being, no matter how hard I try, I will think of this as a date.
Wooyoung pouts, his hold on me loosening a bit. "Pretty please? What, are you sick of me already because we hang out everyday now?"
My breath hitched, and I was this close to giving in, but I must prevail and resist those big, beautiful eyes that were holding me captive like a tight vice.
"Maybe next time---" I sheepishly began to say, but a prominent growl made both me and Wooyoung freeze.
I cursed under my breath in shame. My stomach had growled, begging to be fed, and had basically called me out on my lie.
"Yeah, you ate alright," Wooyoung sarcastically remarked.
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung had pretty much dragged me to this retro looking place. It was the opposite of intimate and warm, rather, it was very bright and lively, filled with colorful tables, a snack bar, and the entire wall was made to be a canvas for purposeful graffiti.
Immediately, we sat at the very end of all of the available tables and no time was wasted when we ordered something quick, yet filling for the both of us; a clubhouse sandwich for me and a cheeseburger for Wooyoung.
"This place is so nice, where'd you find it?" I was still mesmerized by the whole setup.
"Picked it out with you in mind," he smirked.
Instead of blushing like I usually do, I let out a genuine laugh. "Seriously," I shook my head playfully.
"I am serious," he expressed with a slight frown.
"Are you like this with all the people you meet?" I mused, curious on what he has to say.
"Like what?"
"You know, you are a very touchy-feely person, certainly very outgoing as well. Do you usually hang out with everyone like this?"
He paused, staring at me with a blank expression. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly drying up, my breath slowing down.
"Yes, I am," he articulated after a while. "I was born this way I suppose, I swear I don't purposely flirt with everybody I meet."
"Oh," I murmured.
My heart sank, it felt like concrete weighing it down. The high of being out with Wooyoung in one moment was cut down the next. Is this what heartbreak felt like?
A hand on top of mine fully enveloped it with warmth. "But you," Wooyoung's thumbs caressed my knuckles with a small smile. "You're different. I can't explain it, Y/N, I've been trying to reason with myself."
"What do you mean?" It was my turn to ask.
His hand squeezed mine, but I felt like my heart got squeezed instead. "Meeting you was unexpected, but I'm so sure it was written. You're very easy to talk to, and I feel like I'm someone and more. It's either you or I'm alone, do you understand what I'm getting at?"
Of course I do. There has not been a day where we haven't seen each other ever since I stepped foot in that studio.
"I do," I nodded my head, smiling purely at him. "I felt good with you in a way I haven't before with other people, Woo. Thank you for approaching me that day, I'm glad to be your...friend."
His eyes widen a bit and he freezes. "What?" I nervously asked. He giggled like a child with no worry, he was just happy.
"You called me 'Woo', I like it."
I nervously laughed, mumbling a little yeah. I didn't even notice.
Luckily for me, our food came in and swooped me out of an incoming awkward conversation, at least on my end.
I couldn't help but let out an endearing smile as I watched Wooyoung thank the waiter kindly and then drool at his cheeseburger. Everything about him was so captivating; he felt like a warm, cozy home.
For now, the glue keeping my heart together is strong. He deserved a good friend, and I will be that for him.
Wooyoung opened his mouth midair when he caught me staring at him. "Dig in, your food will get cold," he mused with concern.
I nod my head at him with a smile. I think he and I are going to be fine.
Approximately seven months have passed by since that fateful day. Passing each time with Wooyoung, in the most obscure of situations, made my heart yonder and sing in tunes I never knew were so melodious.
"You know what I've been thinking lately?" Wooyoung mumbled all of a sudden.
He was currently laying on my lap while I played with his hair with one hand and held a book near to my face with the other. "What were you thinking, Woo?"
Safe to say, we've gotten so close with each other, soaking into moments enveloped in warmth, and the happiness was the contentment I never knew I'd ever feel in this lifetime.
Chasing time next to him was my salvation; my heaven on earth.
"Do you have a goal in this life?"
I raised a brow at the sudden question, peeking at him from where I was. He was already staring at me from below, and my blushing cheeks never really got better.
"Too deep of a question this morning," I chuckled. "But what do you mean? Everyone has a goal in life, whether they know it or not."
"True, but what I meant to say is, have you ever had a list of things you wanted to do? Regardless of how weird they are or how unattainable, do you know what I'm trying to say?" Wooyoung, and he did, he was always so dramatic about it.
I gave him a hum before responding. "Are you having an existential crisis?"
"Maybe," he laughed in that contagious, fox-like laugh of his. "So do you?"
"I-I have this small bucket list from when I was like 10," I admitted, lifting my book to hide my face.
Suddenly, it was yanked from me and thrown across the room. My mouth hung in shock. "Wooyoung!"
"Pay attention to me," he pouted.
"What the hell are you? A baby?" I rolled my eyes so far back up my head I was surprised they didn't get stuck behind my head.
"Only if it's yours--ow!" I yanked his hair in warning before I exploded from all the constant flirting. Some things never change.
"Anyway," I paused a bit to think, but decided to just say what was on my mind in the end. "I want to go to Mars."
I held my breath, expecting to hear an obnoxious cackle from Wooyoung, but there was nothing. When I glanced down, there he was - waiting expectantly for me to continue.
"I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
The way Wooyoung was looking at me with a soft expression, and I must have looked dumb - my eyes were dilated a bit, dazed, like my brain was having a short circuit.
"Last, I gulped. "I want to hold my breath for a minute straight."
He raised his brows in amusement. "I'm not good at doing it," I defended myself, slightly embarrassed. "The most I've done was 15 seconds."
Wooyoung didn't say anything, he just stared at me intently in the eye as if he was counting all the eyelashes I had attached. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. I frowned.
"What about you?" I softly asked. "Anything you'd like to do?"
It takes a solid minute for him to reply. "No, nothing in particular," he mumbled, his voice strained. "I don't like committing to something for a long time, you know that."
Indeed, I do. Once again, the shattering reality of how temporary all this was for the both of us was tearing me in two.
"There's just so much out there, you know?" Wooyoung continued. "So much to see, so much to feel, how can I just stay in one place?"
Wooyoung loved photography above anything else and was willing to spread his wings and venture out to find the perfect piece. He disliked committing his all in one place in case he had to leave one day.
I remember the exact night we talked about it, a rainy day in July where we got too sentimental. I felt like choking, but there was nothing I could do, for this man was not mine to begin with.
"You know I will support you in whatever you want to do," I forced a smile on my face even though my mouth was on fire and my tongue hurt from the lies.
Wooyoung, again, stared at me intently. I blushed deep red, it looked like he was gazing through my skin and peeking through the darkest, deepest parts of my soul. The heat from his hooded eyelids emanated conflicted emotions, and then I saw it die as quick as it came.
"I know."
His sudden playful smirk painting his beautiful face throws me for a whiplash. Whatever that was, never happened.
He whips his phone out and starts tinkering with it with a concentration that looks too good on him - his stupidly attractive arms get veinier when he's concentrating and his brows furrowed together.
"Mars, huh?" he muttered, smirking, still not looking up from his phone.
"Yes? Don't make fun of me," I frowned.
"I'm not," he retorted. I looked at him in disdain. "I'm really not, I swear!"
I chose not to reply. Typical Woyooung, but that's what makes him so damn loveable; he was just being himself.
A couple of minutes later, Wooyoung pockets his phone, stands up dramatically, and hovers over me. "Get dressed," he said. "We're going somewhere."
I blinked repeatedly at him, and some more. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"What's wrong with my outfit right now?" I gestured to my oversized shirt and leggings.
He snorted comically. "Trust me, you're gonna need more than that."
Wooyoung saw the hesitation in my eyes. He hated committing as much as I hated trying new things. He extends his hand in front of me.
"I've never led you astray, you know that," he whispered.
I nodded, taking his hand in mine. Even before he had asked, I was doomed anyway. How could I ever say no to him?
Turns out he was right - I did need the extra layers.
It was, indeed, very cold right now. Wooyoung and I were currently in line, a line so long that it reached the outside of the establishment, and it was where we currently were.
"Woo, are you sure about this?" I asked through gritted teeth. "It's too windy, I think my fingers will fall off soon."
As if on cue, he pulls me closer to him. "It shouldn't take too long," he mumbled. "You okay?"
I nodded, humming a reply back at him. As long as I'm with you, everything will be alright...
"I must say," I began. "I didn't take you to be the museum type of guy."
Yes, we were currently in line to get inside this museum I have never ever seen before even though I've lived in this city my whole life. Wooyoung got both of us last minute tickets. The place was currently jam packed, the line was endless from behind us.
"I'm not," he shrugged. "I want to show you something."
My mind went into overdrive when Wooyoung quickly glanced at me before he looked back at the pamphlet he was holding. It was only a split second, but it was enough for me to infer the anticipation he had for this.
It was contagious and the dread I felt ebbed away.
"History and geology are both at the far right, art is by your left, cartography is unfortunately out of service indefinitely, and science is just straight ahead..."
The monotonous, robotic voice from the speaker all over when we got inside could have instructed better, but it was definitely better than getting lost. This place was massive.
"Let's go," Wooyoung enthusiastically grabbed my hand as we explored all the things we passed by.
"Oh Woo, look at that!" I giggled uncontrollably and hastily pointed out what I saw.
It was a life sized wood carving of a wisteria tree - the most beautiful thing I have ever seen as of late. Wooyoung squeezed my hand as we both approached it, reveling at the detail of whoever was its creator.
"Reminds you of something, doesn't it?" he smirked.
"How can I forget how we met?" I playfully rolled my eyes.
He laughed out loud, causing some people to look our way, but we couldn't care less. "As much as I want to stay, there's somewhere else we have to be," he winked.
He led me to the direction he, then, wanted to go. The way he pulled me with him made my heart swell. At the very moment, I blocked all the sounds, the chatter, from the background and I could only see him.
Just when I felt like leading my heart somewhere else, he pulled it back towards him; a magnet I had no choice but to get attached to.
"W-Wooyoung?"
My eyes widened in disbelief when we stopped at something in particular. "I-Is this w-what I think it is?" I stuttered uncontrollably, gripping his hand tighter and tighter until he put his other hand on top of mine to stop me from shaking.
"Relax," he cooed. "And yes, it most certainly is."
Wooyoung had led me to the science section of the museum where there was a small room we could go inside - a planetarium. Today they just so happened to be exhibiting the planet Mars.
Wooyoung took me to Mars.
"Shall we go in?" Wooyoung gently guided me inside. My legs were weighted with lead, I couldn't do this on my own.
My breath came out in short intervals, my feelings overwhelming my sense of excitement muddled into a plate full of shock, confusion, and joy as I looked around the place with Wooyoung still holding my hand in his as if he knew I'd fall without him.
The whole room had a blue haze to it, the ceiling itself was a cool shade of midnight blue with little specks of white dots that were presumably the stars in the night sky.
They covered the whole blue like snowflakes, and they would twinkle, or rather, blink at us, watching what we would do next.
I turned to look at Wooyoung, and my tears started to fall on their own. There was panic in his eyes, but he pulled me into a quick hug, and I hugged him back just as tight.
We didn't say a word, just basking in our body heat together with the stars as our witness.
He kissed my forehead tenderly before pointing out to a distance. "Look."
I gasped rather dramatically - it was Mars itself!
Or at least, a really big ball that was probably made out of styrofoam and dyed into the shade of rust red that mimicked the real deal.
"Before we go there, wipe your tears, jelly bean. I want you to be happy today..."
But he wiped my own tears for me anyway. Oh Wooyoung, I thought with dread. How do you expect me to not selfishly wish for you to stay instead of finding your own dreams?
Instead of a repeating robot telling everybody Mars' information, luckily it was an actual person making a presentation, like that of a tour guide but this one instead explained the planet with so much depth and detail.
Wooyoung makes an exaggerated "ah!" sound when the lecturer explains that the reason why Mars was red was because of the oxidation happening in regolith, the soil on the said planet, and thus making it appear red.
"Does anybody know how many moons the planet Mars has?" the lecturer had questioned with a pleasant smile.
"Two!" a teenager from the crowd had answered.
"Correct! Does anybody know what they're called?"
The crowd made confused noises and everyone seemed to be stumped for answers. I looked around and nobody seemed to know what they were, and even Wooyoung mutters something about not knowing that even moons had names. I sighed, mentally preparing myself so I don't get nervous.
"Phobos and Deimos," I had managed to answer without stuttering.
The lecturer looked surprised, but happy nonetheless that at least someone in the crowd knew. "That is correct!"
"Nerd," Wooyoung snickered. I elbowed him, too happy to let his jokes get to me.
When it got too crowded, we both decided to leave the museum as a whole. One thing we both had in common was that after a while, the air got stuffy when there was too much going on in one place.
The bus ride home was silent, but comfortable, and in reality, we were both too tired to talk anyway. With an adrenaline of short-lived bravery, I leaned my head against Wooyoung's shoulder. I sighed in relief when he didn't push me away.
"Did you have fun?" he asked with genuine curiosity when we both reached my front door.
"Did you?" I asked back with an equal amount of curiosity.
He nodded enthusiastically. "Of course I did, why wouldn't I?"
"You really didn't have to do this---"
He put his finger against my lip, effectively shutting me up and shutting my brain off as well. "Why can't you just enjoy the things I do for you?"
Because I am slowly getting more and more delusional with every single second I spend more with you and I keep imagining of what we would be like a few months from now- am I going to be alone again or will you remain in my life---
I shook my head to rid myself of the nastiest thoughts that keep coming through my psyche, but along with those was another burst of blood rushing to my brain that makes me do the unthinkable.
"Woah, woah," Wooyoung voice out, amused that I was initiating skin contact first.
"Just shut up and let me hug you," I voiced out, but it came out muffled because my face was currently buried in his chest. "Thank you, Wooyoung, thank you very much, you have no idea what this means to me."
Wooyoung rocked me back and forth, healing my inner child. "I think I do," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him. "Just let it out..."
It was the first time he ever saw me cry willingly. The hands that patted my back provided me the solace I currently needed. They were gentle, soothing even. He had always been so patient with me, and those hands...
Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far was his.
I felt selfish, so damn selfish, for feeling this way. But it's okay, none of it matters at this moment.
Hey, ladybug. I don't think I'm able to make it in time today, or at all. Client is being finicky and all, I'm about to charge them extra for this. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you soon, hmm?
- J. WY
I heaved a loud, disappointed sigh as I locked my phone before pocketing it. My frown deepens and my brows knit in today's unexpected turn of events.
"That Wooyoung?"
"Yeah, says he can't make it today. Something about a shitty client," I shrugged.
I had invited Wooyoung last week to my family's dinner reunion. My whole family had taken a liking to Wooyoung - who wouldn't? - and my brother had suggested I invite him. This year, we were at our Uncle Yeonjun's place.
"It's not the end of the world," my brother teased.
I snorted loudly. "That obvious, Yeo? You look more crestfallen than I do."
Yeosang laughs heartily, taking a sip at whatever concoction our mother made. "I mean, I've only known him longer than you," he joked.
It turned out that Woyooung was part of my brother's friend group, talk about coincidence. "Besides, you gotta cheer up before anyone notices," he added.
"Why?"
"Because you look like a lovesick puppy that got abandoned by its owner," he clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "No offense to our cousins, but they can be do damn nosy, especially Soobin and Kai."
I knew that Yeosang was just trying to distract me from whatever I was feeling. As per his advice, I faked a smile just so nobody questions why I'm feeling so down.
Wooyoung was currently out of town and had been so busy with his job so we haven't really seen each other for a couple of days now, however we do call each other every night.
My train of thoughts were squashed when Yeosang elbows me gently. "Hey," he said with a soft smile. "You want to get us food so I take you home?"
If I were to write on a piece of paper of how much my older brother has done for me, the trees would cease to exist from all the paper and wood for all the pencils.
The night wasn't all that bad, Yeosang did everything in his power to distract me and even brought our cousins into it, not that they knew what was up. We took the party to the backyard, just singing, dancing, and fooling around like the young adults we were.
The little reunion was family, music, and food. It was simple, memorable, and destined to make me forget for a little.
The night had to end, and that meant I had to go home alone to my thoughts. My parents will stay overnight and Yeosang did not live with us anymore.
The jingle of the front door's keys only solidified the loneliness that awaited for me from behind it.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can just drive early in the morning," Yeosang suggested as we both walked in the house and closed the door behind him.
"Yeo, I'm not a child anymore," I chuckled. "I appreciate it, but you should go, you have work tomorrow, yes?"
"Well, yes, but---"
"Then get your ass out of here."
Yeosang rolled his eyes at my teasing tone, but ended up laughing anyway. He pulled me in for a quick hug and pecked cheek. "Call me if you need anything."
He was gone within a minute, and once again, I was left alone with my despair. And what better way to shower these thoughts out?
But that made it worse. The involuntary shower thoughts were poison to my already weak mind.
I've conquered the art of being alone, and now that I had Wooyoung with me, it never really made things easier. My endless days filled with cold fire were quickly replaced with warm companionship...
I felt like an empty box without him. It was ridiculous, really, I knew this was wrong; a mistake I knew I wasn't supposed to feel.
I missed him.
Ding, ding, ding
I had just finished dressing up when I heard the doorbell ring. Confused, I slowly treaded my way downstairs. My parents weren't supposed to be home and Yeosang would have called beforehand if he forgot something.
The doorbell rings again, more hurriedly the second time. Screw it, I thought apprehensively. Yeosang is in charge of my obituary if I unfortunately pass away tonight...
With a deep breath, I swung the door open, my eyes tightly shut. Yeah, I know, serial killers would love me.
Silence. I knew somebody was in front of me, but they weren't saying anything. My mind caught up with the stupidity of my actions and I froze. Is this how I die?
"A-Are you okay?"
That squeaky voice, that sounds so familiar. I wanted to smack my head, I missed him so much, I was hearing him.
"Nice tits, Y/N."
My eyes shot open so fast that the light came in a bit faster than I expected to and I became a little dizzy. My brain buffers while my thoughts try to catch up. After I realized what I just heard, I took a closer look in front of me.
I let out a little gasp. "W-Woo?" I whimpered pathetically.
There he was, standing at my doorway, 9 o'clock in the evening. My heart lurched at the sight of him - so ethereal.
There was nothing specific to him that made him so stunning to me, maybe it was his iconic red hair, or maybe the way he looked at me right now would be close. They were intense, yet gentle. Polite, but not noble.
I blushed, wanting to cover up, but his eyes held me hostage. They trailed from my face, slowly down my neck, to my exposed cleavage, before bringing them back up again to look at me, the unmistakable hunger in those orbs very much present.
"Y/N," Wooyoung drawled out without breaking eye contact, sticking his tongue out to lick his bottom lip excruciatingly slow for my sanity. "Let me in."
A sudden wave of nausea hits me, rendering me weak in his mercy as I finally feel my brain melt in my head. What the hell.
His kissable lips pulled up slowly to a smirk, mischievous, and we were both released from that little cage of sin we almost trapped ourselves in.
Woooyoung laughs out loud. "You should have seen your face," he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.
My face reddens both in embarrassment and mild anger. Against my better judgment, I move to slam the door to his face. "You!" I hissed menacingly.
"Wait, wait!" he panicked, quickly stopping the door from completely closing by putting his boots in between. "I'm sorry! You just looked so far away, I couldn't help but tease you--"
"Not helping your case, Woo--"
"I traveled here in two hours from a place that would have taken three," he whined, grabbing my hand from the outside. "Please?"
I let out a very loud exaggerated sigh before I let go of the door. Besides, he might not look like it, but Wooyoung was built. He could have pushed the door forcefully if he really wanted to.
"Sorry," he giggled, hugging me from behind with his head resting on top of my head. "Turn around for me?"
I'm so ashamed of how weak I had become with him, but what can I say?
I buried my head on his chest, inhaling the scent that I missed so much - warm and clean - and everything hit me all at once.
He really was here with me. I was so happy that I almost felt sick and anxious. It comes off as a raging storm in my heart that was almost painful. The unbelievable sorrow I've gone through the last few days melted away in Wooyoung's blissful embrace.
"Did you drink tonight? How'd you get home?" he inquired after we pulled away.
"I did, and Yeosang took me home."
"Oh? Is he here? I didn't see his car outside."
I explained that Yeosang had to go back to his apartment because he had to work in the morning. He nodded intently, humming to himself.
"I have a surprise for you," he smiled, lifting the duffel bag he had bought with him. "How about you nap a bit while I prepare this?"
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung was already building a makeshift bed out of the couches we had in the living room so I could lay on them real quick.
The light pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the windows were the ones that woke me up. They have been falling steadily without fail before I opened my eyes.
I would have been content staying in the warmth of the blankets, to grab a mug of tea and feel the soothing coldness of the breeze hit my nose as I inhaled deeply.
But I had to find Wooyoung. It wouldn't be too difficult, I knew exactly where he was. He loved the rain, you see.
A tender smile creeped up on his face when he noticed me sitting beside him on one of the stools on our roofed backyard. "You're awake," was all he said.
"How long was I out?" I groggily asked, swallowing the aspirin tablets he handed out. "Thanks."
"Not too long," he handed me a tall glass of water. "Close to an hour and a half, maybe."
"You were working while I was napping?" I gestured to the setup he had in front of us. Various strips of undeveloped films were strewn all over along with a camera I did not recognize, and...a glass pyramid?
"Nice paperweight," I pointed at it, a little hurt that even though he came for me, his focus was still on his work.
Wooyoung chuckled lightly. "No work, not necessarily," he shook his head. "That's not a paperweight. Why don't you be a doll and pick it up for me?"
I could feel the tips of my ears warm up but I picked up the pyramid anyway. It was a lot lighter than I initially thought it would be.
I looked at Wooyoung in confusion when he suddenly pointed out to the moon. "See the small beam of light coming down?"
I nodded. Indeed, the moon seemed brighter today. It looked more beautiful than the stars that surrounded it. "That," he gestured to the triangular glass I was holding. "That is a prism, and I want you to put it where the moonlight is."
I frowned. "What?"
"If you're worried about the rain, you don't have to put it directly under it, just a small light would do," he bargained, chuckling at my confused face.
I did what he said, apprehensively stretching my hand out to put the so-called prism under the moonlight. I smiled a bit, I will admit, the combination of the rain and light hitting its surface made it look extremely breathtaking.
I tilted it slightly to catch the different angles since I realized each angle made it glow in different shades of lights. One flick of my wrist shone a colourful beam of light that landed on the ground.
"Wow," I breathed out. "That's beautiful, Wooyoung."
He smiled back. "Keep tilting."
Suddenly, an arc formed from the prism to the ground beneath me. I was in awe, this one had different colours to it. From red to yellow to purple, it shone clearly against the rain. I giggled, it reminded me of rainbows. If only it was daytime...
I gasped, dropping the prism on the ground with a loud clunk. My face was drained of blood as I turned sharply to Wooyoung with wide eyes. But he wasn't worried about my pale state. His smile shone brighter than any prism out there. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take a photo of his charming smile.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" he grinned, picking up the prism and tilting it himself against the rain and the light.
I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
"You remembered, oh my God, you remembered..." I sniffled, burying my face in my hands.
"Why wouldn't I?" he smiled, pulling me in for a hug.
Wooyoung kissed my forehead delicately with great care and the look he gave me was something I will never forget.
We spent the next hour or so playing with different shapes of prisms that Wooyoung bought from where he went. The client he had earlier owned a glass manufacturing company and Wooyoung requested for these to be made as a form of payment.
This rainy day soaked all the memories we had made for both of us, providing us the soundtrack we deserved, and it was unlike any other. I laughed like I never laughed before at this crazy little daydream, wishing it would last forever.
And soon, I learned to love the rain like Wooyoung. There will never be a rainy day where I never not think of him ever again.
"You better make me look good or I won't give you pictures," he threatened playfully.
When the rain had stopped, we opted to take pictures as proof of this core memory. The unfamiliar camera I saw earlier turned out to be a self-developing one, the modern cameras that instantly printed out tiny polaroid pictures in less than fifteen seconds.
"You literally took the shittiest photos of me, you hypocrite," I rolled my eyes at him, trying my best to cover my eyes with the camera so he wouldn't see the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.
"They're mine to keep," Wooyoung stuck his tongue out at me. What a brat.
But he was my brat. The tears that were once the symbol of the everlasting happiness that Wooyoung had been willingly giving me, were now drowning me in the bottomless sorrow that embraced me in a sea of ice cold water.
I loved him.
If I ever cross my heart, if I ever lie or deny the heart that beated for him, then I'd hope to die.
I loved him when we both stared at that park's wisteria, I loved him when he laid in my arms until he fell asleep, I loved him when he told me he'd always be there for me, I loved him then, and I love him now.
"Do you want me to put the movie on?" I asked after we've both settled down, shivering a bit. I never realized how cold it was outside until both me and Wooyoung came back inside.
Wooyoung mumbled a soft hum of affirmation while he was busy in the kitchen reheating some food I had bought with Yeosang earlier. He wasn't even doing anything groundbreaking but he was still so devastatingly loveable in my eyes.
The movie was boring, or rather, my attention just wasn't geared towards it. All I could focus on was the intense, burning passion I had for my best friend. I shut my eyes closely, as if doing so will get rid of the plaguing thoughts.
I let out a small gasp when Wooyoung pulled me to him, his arms wrapped around my waist. "What's going on in that pretty little head?" he sluggishly asked, nudging his head in the crook of my neck.
I am about to explode. He has always been the cuddly kind, but now that I have finally admitted to myself how much I truly loved him, his touch burned me on the inside, electrifying every cell in my body in response to his tender touch.
"Nothing," I shrugged nonchalantly.
He chuckled, gripping my jaw lightly and turning my head towards his. I stopped breathing when I realized that he was closer than I thought. If I lean even an centimeter more, our lips would touch.
Wooyoung searches my face intently. "Don't lie to me."
I stare at him in the eye, not really knowing what to say. His hand was still on my jaw, but that was the last of my worries right now. I really want to tell him, I want to shout how much I loved him; how much he made me feel like I was everything when in reality I was nothing.
My mouth opens to say something, but immediately closes. In a moment of realization, Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit before his hand dropped from my jaw. There was a storm brewing in those beautiful eyes, and at this moment, I knew I was about to lose him.
"W-Wooyoung," I blurted out, full on panicking at this point.
"Don't look at me like that," he whispered, his voice breaking in the middle.
"What do you mean?" I sniffled, wanting to reach out and touch him, but stopped myself.
"You know what I mean."
A bitter sensation rose like bile up my throat. My heart isn't just broken, it was now a shadow of what it once was that was slowly fading away little by little.
He knows. Him knowing me like the back of his hand was a curse to a blessing, and not that blessing was a curse. He knows that I am in love with him, the last thing I ever wanted him to know.
"Let's finish the movie," I giggled, though it probably sounded fake.
I frowned when Wooyoung shut the TV off as a whole. "Y/N," he sounded stern. I stayed silent, not even looking him in the eye.
He sighed deeply. "I can give you anything, but not that," he stated, his arms still around my waist tightening a bit. "You're my best friend, I cannot lose you. Not like this."
My fear of loss was proof of my love for him. I loved him so much, I was willing to let him go.
I rolled my eyes playfully, forcing myself to look at him and grin widely, even though my tongue burned. "What are you saying? We'll be friends until the end of time," I laughed, lightheartedly elbowing him.
There was a passing look of hurt in his features, but it left as soon as it came. "Are you sure you're fine with this?" he squinted his eyes suspiciously at me.
"Of course," I snorted. "Maybe I'm just confused, but you know me Youngie, I'm tough."
He was still suspicious, but he laughed along with me anyway. "I know you are," he chortled, pinching my cheek really, really hard.
"Ow! You imp!" I grab his cheek to pinch it back just as hard, playing along with him.
We decided not to finish the movie and just rest for the night. As I lay back down on the makeshift bed Wooyoung made for me earlier, with him cuddling me from behind and pretty much spooning me, I let it all out.
Silent tears flowed down from my eyes and I had to put my knuckles in my mouth to prevent myself from making any sound. I can feel Woyooung's chest rising up and down against my back and that's how I knew he was sleeping, but I didn't want to risk waking him up.
My heart hurt so much, because I knew my love will never be reciprocated. Wooyoung loved his dreams too much to choose us, I knew that. I tried so damn hard to stop my growing feelings but to no avail. The voice that came out from me so naturally to tell him that I was fine, that what I felt for him was just a silly little crush, sounded so far away; it didn't even sound like me.
The attraction between us became an intangible broken thread and there was no way to reattach the fragments, though I know that I was the only one scattered and lost.
I knew we weren't going to last forever, but I wasn't expecting the beginning of the end to happen so soon.
A knock from my left snaps me out of my thoughts. It was Mingi tapping on my desk, his brow raised.
"Sorry," I sheepishly mumbled, trying to focus on the task at hand. Hongjoong already left for New York so it was just me and Mingi in the shop.
I couldn't concentrate, I kept glancing at my phone hoping Wooyoung would reply to my messages. Something was wrong, and I was very close to having a mental breakdown.
Woo? Are you busy? Wanna hang out at the new place later after work?
I kept telling myself that it was fine, he's busy, he's been in-demand lately because he truly was a talented photographer with a particular set of skills that were a rarity in such a condensed industry, but I couldn't help but feel like he's been very distant lately.
Wooyoung has been avoiding me and I don't know what to do.
To keep my insecurities in check, I've been going in the deepest pits of my mind to tolerate my thoughts and letting these negative feelings pass - so I can react appropriately and not go crazy over the things I had no control over.
Wooyoung? Is everything okay? You aren't responding...
Truth be told, I felt pathetic. I got so attached to Wooyoung that I forgot how I was before I met him - alone. It wasn't his fault, he doesn't owe me anything, it was me who let my heart chase a person who never even wanted to be found in the first place.
Another knock made me jump from my thoughts.
"Y/N," Mingi sighed, taking his glasses off and setting them down on his own desk. "Can I talk to you really quick?"
I bit my lip, nodding. Mingi had always been the type of boss that drew a line with everyone, except Hongjoong. He was strict, very intimidating, but it suited him, so I'm a bit nervous that he was calling me out.
"I'll be straight with you, yeah? Is it Wooyoung?" he asked out of genuine curiosity, his sharp eyes piercing through me.
I didn't respond, I couldn't, so I kept my head low. I heard Mingi sigh again. "Hey," he says softly. "This is off the record, okay? I won't tell Hongjoong, although I suspect he already knows anyway."
I looked up, frowning. "What do you mean?"
Mingi crossed his arms, leaning back against his chair a bit more relaxed. "I can't speak for him, but for me personally? I know Wooyoung more than you think I do. You just haven't seen us together because I've been so busy lately."
He was right. Mingi continued. "Look, it's a shame to see you like this. We really like you, you're hardworking, critical, smart, and whatnot..."
"T-Thank you, Mr. Song," I blurted out.
"Just Mingi," he brushed off. "What I'm trying to say is, save yourself for a man that isn't him. He won't choose you."
I already knew that, but hearing it didn't make it hurt less. Tears started to pool in the corners of my eyes. Mingi curses under his breath.
"Go home," he gestured out the door. "Take the day off."
"B-But we still have work left," I stuttered.
He gives me a small smile. "I'll manage. Go before I change my mind."
I suppose I was thankful about being sent home, it did help my nerves a bit. I've gotten home, showered, ate dinner, and did the most mundane things I could ever do, but Wooyoung never replied.
I woke up the next day, clutching my phone, muttering a little prayer in my head as if I would miraculously see his name pop up in my notifications, telling me good morning like he used to every single day.
The tears I've been holding off since yesterday ran down like waterfalls from my eyes. I missed him so much, and I've got nobody to blame but myself. I wished I kept it in, how much I loved him I mean. Maybe we would have been hanging out by now, laughing obnoxiously at nothing in particular.
Before I could stop myself, I dialed Wooyoung's number. The beating of my heart pounded along with the ringing tone against my ear. I was about to hang up, when I heard the familiar click of answer.
Hello?
I covered my mouth with my hand to prevent me from choking up. Oh, how I missed this voice.
"H-Hey, Woo, how are you doing?" I apprehensively asked.
I can't really talk right now, little dove, what do you want?
I was confused, my frown getting deeper. There was tension on the line, a tension so brittle it could snap in a moment, and if it doesn't, I might. He sounds like his normal self, but he sounds so rigid, his voice clipped.
"Nothing, I-I just wanted to hear your voice," I was so anxious at this point, especially when Wooyoung didn't say anything back for a moment.
I can feel the fear spreading throughout my chest. I let out a slow, controlled breath and attempted to loosen my body.
What? You called me for that? I have my own things to do, Y/N, you can't just call me for something so stupid.
I felt my heart bleed, twisting, turning, and rendering my insides tight. I don't respond, wide eyed, my heart in my throat. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be alright, to soothe me but instead he continued.
I'll call you when I have time, okay?
"B-But you said I can call you whenever I needed you," I whispered in the smallest voice I could muster.
I know what I said.
The tone of his voice, so cold and so upset, brought shivers down my spine. "I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I'm so lonely, I miss you. C-Can you come for a bit? O-Or I'll come if you cannot..."
I'll see.
And then he hung up, not bothering to wait for my response. Hot tears, ones he will never witness, were falling even faster than before and soaking my pillows. I felt the wetness of my skin and each drop killed my soul little by little.
What is happening? That wasn't the man I know, that wasn't the Wooyoung I have come to love over the past year.
Sharp knives dig into my heart even deeper, bringing more pain, making me cry out in the most desperate of as it keeps slicing over and over again. I was so lost at the torment my mind was putting me through.
When I was at my lowest, when others took what I could not afford to give, Wooyoung saved my life. The voice that once kept me alive was now the one that was slowly sucking every little bit of hope in my soul.
The first day was fine, I was able to rationalize with myself and not think of Wooyoung every second of the day.
The first week was a bit difficult, but I was still able to manage and get by day by day even though I can feel myself slowly slipping away.
The first month, I couldn't take it anymore. My parents noticed that I wasn't being myself lately, but they chose not to comment anything out of respect, but when I completely stopped eating and going out was when they began to worry significantly.
I understand that my best friend might never be able to give back all the love I have from him, but there is something much, much worse than hate or ignorance.
It was indifference. The night I had unintentionally confessed to him was the night everything between us started to blur.. He was cold, I wasn't expecting him to love me back, but abandoning me and acting like I don't exist or matter at all was turning all my loneliness into desperation.
Screw it. If he's not going to see me, then I'll go see him.
It wasn't too difficult to borrow the family car with the pretense of going out to enjoy myself. They didn't know Wooyoung was the source of my melancholy. I haven't had the heart to tell them because they really liked him.
"Woo?" I knocked on his apartment door, the door that used to excite me, now terrified me.
No response. I knew for a fact that he was inside and was ignoring the hell out of me because his lights were on - he always turned them off whenever he was going somewhere all the time. I was getting extremely annoyed at this point, and my anger had nowhere to dissipate.
"Jung Wooyoung, I know you're in there," I knocked frantically. "Open the freaking door."
When I still got no reply, I had no choice but to get the spare key he hid under his doormat. I could've done it earlier, I wasn't in the mood to be disrespected right now.
The moment I swung his door open, I saw him. He was just there, sitting on a chair with his arms crossed, staring me directly in the eye. I stood by his doorway, frozen, staring back at him.
"Woo--"
"Close the damn door and sit down," he sighed exasperatedly. The cold indifference in his eyes was killing me.
The atmosphere was completely tense, I didn't even know where to start. I used to love being in his apartment, but now I was itching to get out.
Then I saw it - the same duffle bag he bought the glass prism to give me a lunar rainbow now filled with all of his clothes.
"What the hell is this?" I gritted, not being able to hold back the anger I was feeling at the moment.
"What does it look like?" he glared, his jaw taut and clenched tight.
"Is this why you weren't talking to me?" I asked, my voice full of hurt. "How can you do this, Wooyoung? How could you do this to us?"
He scoffed. "There is no us, my princess," he mocked. It stung, I didn't know this Wooyoung, or was this his true nature all along?
"Then why am I still your princess, then?"
There was a second where his eyes morphed back into the man I loved, but before it even lasted, it went to this hostile stranger than got off on the hurt he was giving me. He avoided eye contact, opting to look down and stare at the floor tiles.
"Say something," I begged.
"I heard you," he snapped, as if I meant absolutely nothing to him.
Clearly, he wasn't expecting me to even confront him at all, and intended to push me far, far away as long as he possibly could.
That refusal to smile, to show me any warmth was his way of being antagonistic towards me.
His eyes stopped at mine, and the moment it laid on me, I knew that there was nothing left for me to salvage. This is really the end.
Tears flowed nonstop from my eyes and before I knew it, I was in front of him, aggressively hitting his chest using my fist with all my might, hoping he could feel all the pain he gave me.
"Stop it, Y/N," he hissed, trying to avoid my hits. But I didn't. All the anger and sadness were so intertwined that I didn't know which one prevailed.
"I said stop it!", he shouted. He grabbed my wrists painfully and held them against his chest. "You better stop, or so God help me, I will make you stop, and trust me, you do not want that."
Something akin to fear crept into my chest. I have never, ever heard him raise his voice before.
"Had I known that you were going to be the bane of my existence, I would have ignored you at the park back then!" I screeched at him, trying very hard to get my hands back by thrashing around.
"Had I known you were going to be like this, I wouldn't have taken a photo of you!" Wooyoung's grip got so tight that I literally felt no blood circulating towards my hand.
"You good for nothing ass, you're hurting me! Let me go!" I growled, but it came out as a whine.
"Not until you calm down!"
We went back and forth like that, arguing like little children. The fight between us was a destruction in the making, tearing us instead of bounding us together.
I swallowed the anger that threatened to spill out of me, and it grew in my chest as the person I loved did absolutely nothing to wipe the tears from my eyes. At least he was a bit surprised when I screamed a scream from deep within, and it terrified the both of us because it didn't even sound like me.
"How am I supposed to look at anyone else?" I cried, my head leaning on his chest out of exhaustion. "I don't want anyone else anymore because I will be afraid to trust."
"I'm sorry," was all he said. He didn't even want to wrap his arms around me and just let me hang in there.
"No, you're not," I cried even harder.
"Y/N, please, you're making this difficult for me," his voice breaks in the middle. I feel the intensity in his voice, a massive amount of emotion behind every word he spoke.
"And how do you think I feel, Wooyoung?"
"I understand, but--"
"This is how you are, full of excuses, full of shit!"
"Let me talk--"
"Why are you leaving me? Why are you--"
"Because I love you!"
I must've looked so shocked, so devastated, and so scared that Wooyoung, himself, started breaking down. We held each other as if it was our last, and at that moment, it was just the two of us against everything in this world.
Wooyoung held my face with his shaking hands, tears flowing down from his own eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine. That somehow made me cry harder. "I love you so much, goddamn it," he choked.
"But you're not going to stay," I whimpered against his criminal hold.
Though he felt so warm right now, I knew it wasn't going to last. I could get lost in his eyes right now because they felt like home as we both cried in each other's arms. After all the countless nights I wished he felt the same, this felt foreign.
He was an oasis in a barren desert and the best thing I could do was stare.
"You appearing in my life was never planned," he whispered. "I never expected to fall as deeply as I did with you, Y/N."
"If you feel the same, then why can't you stay with me?" I asked pitifully.
"I can't, baby, this wasn't supposed to happen," he took a deep breath. "I can't love you."
"You can't, or you won't?"
He didn't respond. That got him. I sighed.
"Woo, look at me?" I tilted his chin up very gently until he did. "Don't do this to us," I pleaded. "You're looking at me with clouded eyes right now, you know I see through your lies..."
Wooyoung doesn't reply, choosing to walk away from me to pace across the room in a fret. I watched him collect his mind apprehensively.
"If I can't have me, then no one can," he finally said.
I stared at him as my heart started slowly breaking once again. This incomprehensible pain was consuming me bit by bit, my heart was bleeding.
"I would regret it for the rest of my life if I don't chase the longest dream I've ever had," his eyes were laced in pain. "The photography world is waiting for me..."
"Is this why you didn't want anything or anyone tying you down to this place, Woo? You didn't want to commit because you might never want to leave?"
That was it. The way he looked at me told me everything I needed to know. I had lost him before I even had him, and I can only weep and let myself come to terms with the one that got away. So I cried, I cried as Wooyoung held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth like he used to when we spent time together.
"Hush now," he started crying with me. "I hate that it seems you were never enough." He hugged me tighter. "Because you are, you were more than enough."
"But I'm the one that should mean something! So help me understand," I sobbed harder in his arms, afraid to let him go because he might disappear if I do.
He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. "If one day we see each other again," he croaked. "However long that will take, we will try again for each other, okay?"
I shook my head like a crazed maniac, muttering no, no, no repeatedly. "Wooyoung," I wailed, holding onto his arms tightly. "P-Please don't leave me..."
I begged him over and over again like my life depended on it, and to be fair, I felt like I was going to die if he left me entirely. At this point I didn't care if I was going to be his second choice as long as he stayed.
"Y/N, please don't make this harder than it is," Wooyoung denied. "Go home, please I'm begging you. You're going to make me do something we'll both regret, please."
He was about to leave, but I held him back from behind, holding onto him as tight as I possibly could. "Stop it," he pleaded, trying to pry my arms off of him, but I held tighter, wailing harder.
"P-Please, please don't go," I bawled. "I'll do anything, I'll--"
"Stop it!"
His booming voice made me gasp, or maybe that was the sudden hold he had on my shoulders. The way his eyes darkened wasn't something I missed as his nails dug into my shoulders.
"Do not say that," he hissed, his dark eyes boring into me. "We are both in my room, alone. You know what that means, right?"
"So take me, Wooyoung."
Something changed in the air, and between the two of us right at this moment. Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit, his hold on my shoulders tightening , before he grimaced. "You don't know what you're saying," he laughed dryly.
I knew it was wrong, but right now I wanted nothing but to feel all of him. I will throw all the dignity I have right now, I don't care. The moment I begged him to stay, I'd lost it all, anyway.
"The notion of sin has never sat too well with me," Wooyoung gulped, his voice thick with lust.
"And leaving me does?" I blurted, my own eyes hazy with want.
Wooyoung shook his head fervently and sweat was beginning to form at his hairline. "Y/N, I am only a man, please don't make me do it..."
He buried his head in the crook of my neck, his breathing was so laboured and every time he took a breath, I felt everything on my skin. I mewled when I felt him pause, then lick the most sensitive part of my neck.
"Fuck, you smell and taste so good," Wooyoung growled.
Everything happened so fast. In a split second, his touch electrified every nerve in my body, the intoxication was instantaneous. He hurriedly grabbed my face and immediately put his lips on mine, like I was his air and he needed me to live.
His arms wrap around my back, and in one motion, our bodies collide. His hand was pulling and tugging my hair, muttering how soft they were in between kisses. I kiss him back with equal fervent, quickly opening my mouth so his tongue can explore. Our bodies fit together like we were made to do this.
He pulls away and we lock eyes for a moment, just enough to see that we were far too gone to stop, before we were back at it again, this time on his bed. The kiss we shared was of raw intensity, the groans he made behind his throat made every hair on my body stand up in attention.
"Baby," he groaned, his voice muffled because he was back to attacking my neck.
"Hmm?" was I could reply with, especially with how rough he was kneading my breasts from under my shirt.
"You held your breath for a minute straight while my tongue was in your throat."
I blushed deep. We were almost about to have sex and he still remembered that? I never thought his mouth would be this dirty.
We caressed each other's skin through the night, not getting enough of each other as we became one. His touches were exhilarating, whenever he laid his fingers on my skin tingles. Both of us move in sync, not taking our eyes off of each other.
There were no thoughts, and no focus - only lust and desire.
My back arches in anticipation from his light hands as he watches my reaction, feeling how my hands shook, watching my body tremble every time he used his fingers.
Whatever Wooyoung was doing, there was no stopping. Just his scent from above me was enough to incapacitate me. Every thrust he did was enough for me to fall deeper, and deeper for him and he never stopped until we were warm and snuggled after we were finished.
But nothing lasts forever - even guilty pleasures.
"Wooyoung?" I asked nobody in particular the moment I woke up, my voice sore from all the screaming the night prior.
I sat up, covering my body with the blanket that smelled so much like him, looking around to see if he was somewhere since he wasn't lying down beside me on his own bed, but no.
I didn't think much of it, maybe he just went to the bathroom to freshen up, but deep down my heart, I knew he had left.
There was something on the spot where Wooyoung was supposed to be - a piece of paper. I hesitantly picked up, realized it was a letter addressed to me, and opened its contents. Little dots of wetness dropped down the paper from every tear as I read on.
'To the one I'm letting go,
I'm sorry, Y/N. I am so, so sorry for everything I will put you through starting now. By the time you're reading this, I would have been long gone.
You will always be the most important person of my life, whether you believe it or not. You have absolutely no idea how wonderful and colourful you have made my life into for the past year and I always smile knowing that you'd be there to share my achievements with.
I knew I would develop feelings for you the moment I saw you in that park. God, you looked so beautiful. The fates were funny like that, because I wasn't even supposed to be at the park that day. My usual spot was unavailable that day.
Please be happy, do not forget your meals, study well so you can go into that college you've always wanted to, don't eat too many sweets because they make you hyper, be mindful of nuts in every food since you are allergic to them since I can't be there to check them for you anymore.
The gift of friendship as great as yours is something I will forever cherish in my heart, Y/N. Our little moments where we laughed and cried together still makes me happy to this day. You may have come into my life unexpectedly for what felt like a minute, but the mark you left will last us forever.
You're going to have to move on for me, and I will do the same, even if it hurts both of us, okay? I have to leave, it's either you or my dreams, and I know you have dreams of your own. This love will always hold us back.
However, if I see you again one day, I cannot guarantee that I will hold back because I am going to take you whether you like it or not and make you mine.
But for now? I cannot hate you, but I cannot love you either.
Yours, J. WY'
I hyperventilated, my hands shaking violently as I held the letter that might as well have been my death certificate.
I knew one way or another, this was going to happen and I was prepared for it so I wouldn't get hurt in the near future, but it hasn't fully hit me until now.
Long ago, I had forgotten how to scream because they were either ignored or criticized with cruelty, but the way I screamed my soul out broke my own heart. My grief came in waves, ebbing gradually at the ocean that needed to bleed from my eyes.
"Oh, Wooyoung," I cried his name out pitifully, holding the letter close to my heart. I knew I loved him, but the loss of him really solidified how strong it was. How was I supposed to survive the feeling of something so dear that got forcefully ripped away from me?
I must've wallowed in my despair and self-pity a little too much, that I forgot that there were clutters and footsteps outside of the room. They were the reason I woke up. Could it be..?
I half heartedly rubbed my tear-stained face with my hands to make the swelling go away before I dressed up decent enough to step out.
The footsteps stopped when I apprehensively opened the door, the creak of it echoing across the otherwise barren room.
My eyes widened and landed on two men who were both staring at me also wide-eyed the moment I opened my door, as if they were listening in on me suffering.
"Who the hell are you?!" I had meant for that to be threatening, but it came out as a pathetic squeak.
They both stepped back, surprised at the spunk I had even though it was clearly very early in the morning.
"We mean no harm, we promise," one of them said calmly. He reminded me of a bear, and the relaxed fit of his jeans that tucked his black tee made his form even bigger. "I'm Jongho, your brother and the two workaholics sent me..."
I raised my brow, he must be Hongjoong's assistant, the other workaholic was Mingi. Yeosang did also mention a best friend in passing. I raised a brow on the other one expecting him to talk.
He was tall, definitely taller than Mingi, and they kind of looked like each other, though this one reminded me of an overgrown puppy. He was very good-looking as well. He was lean, though there's definitely some bulk on him too.
He waves a set of keys in front of him. "I'm Yunho, San gave me the keys," he worriedly explained. "I was hoping you could explain. I made breakfast..."
The food was very good, but I didn't have the heart to tell Yunho that Wooyoung's cooking was the one I craved for. I gave them the letter Wooyoung had written for me as I filled them in on some details about what happened. They were Wooyoung's really close friends, so I didn't have to fill in too much details since they pretty much knew the majority of it.
"He never told you it was love at first sight," Yunho shook his head as he passed the letter for Jongho to read. "That bastard, I told him to stay away from you if he was just going to leave."
"We tried very hard to change his mind, believe me," Jongho sighed, taking a sip of the coffee I made him earlier. Both of his eyes shot up as he stared at me. "Though I suppose this is one of the reasons why he couldn't stay away."
That one struck a nerve. Wooyoung was the one who taught me how to make good coffee.
Yunho cleared his throat. "San doesn't know Wooyoung has left yet. If he found out, he would beat the shit out of him. San liked you a lot, he convinced Wooyoung the most to stay."
"And Hongjoong?"
"Hongjoong is, well, he is who he is. He just knows everything. He probably told Yeosang because he didn't have the heart to tell you."
Yunho's phone started ringing, it gave me a slight migraine because that thing was loud as hell. Yunho mutters a sheepish apology. "Hello?"
"Alright, which one of you soul-sucking bastards stole my keys?! What the hell is even happening?!"
That actually made me giggle. Now I know why these two were sent to check up on me - Yunho was very easy to get along with and Jongho was the rational one to balance things.
"Who is that?"
Yunho and Jongho took turns to fill San in on everything that went down, and I felt bad for him because that also meant that San lost a friend. His heartbroken questions were making tears in my eyes.
"Sannie," Jongho sighed. "This is why we took the keys, we didn't want you to find out this way."
"Where is he, then?" San's voice was tight.
"You don't know either?" Yunho asked in surprise.
"N-No, Y/N? Is she okay?"
That completely broke me. It was ironic that Wooyoung's friends, people I wasn't even that familiar with in the first place, were the ones more concerned about me. I bitterly let my tears out, with Jongho patting my back to comfort me.
I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried until I felt my voice grow weary with excessive use, not caring that these two strangers and a man on the phone heard me break down pitifully.
Forget about me, Wooyoung had also left the people who loved him as well - his friends. In that regard, he was extremely selfish because he knew that hurt he would give to everyone, but he chose to do what he did anyway.
And just like that, he was gone.
I lost track of time, I don't even remember the last time I actually cared to check.
Depression is a silly thing, something that I used to think never ended, but it does actually; you're going to feel it when you hit rock bottom.
"Have a good day everyone," I waved from the doorway of Mingi's office.
The whole gang was here, except for my brother because he lived far away. Still, Yeosang has made it his life's mission to be there for me whenever I gave him a hint that I needed him the most. I felt bad, but I had nobody to turn to.
"Y/N, wait."
I was about to leave, to ignore that call, but I couldn't. Yes?"
Hongjoong stared at me for a full minute without saying anything, before sighing. "Take care of yourself."
I forced a smile on my face. I was happy that everyone was looking out for me even though I just can't outwardly express it. I actually appreciate that none of them were treating me like a wounded puppy.
Hongjoong might not look like he cared too much, but I notice his sharp eyes watching me when he thinks I wasn't looking. Wooyoung was the opposite.
Yunho was very sweet, he would often bake me pastries since I mentioned in passing that I loved them and they brought me joy. Wooyoung used to do that a lot.
Mingi was another nonchalant one. He would often offer me a vacation alone somewhere with all expenses paid. I denied. Being alone will make me think of Wooyoung more.
San was the one that accompanied me the most when I didn't want to move at all. He would bring me food at least four times a week to make sure I was eating. Wooyoung used to feed me, himself, if I wasn't in the mood.
Jongho, being the mature one, made me realize that there were more reasons to live this life. Perhaps it was my parents, maybe my pet dog, or maybe just to find out what happens tomorrow. Wooyoung had a very similar outlook in life.
I was aimlessly walking around and I didn't even notice that I ended up on the bench I sat on, the same bench that had that beautiful wisteria tree. Only this time, there was no Wooyoung to take a candid photo of me.
"I guess I'm not the only one falling apart," I sighed, lightly touching the wilting petals of the once purple tree, now it was just a faded whitish lilac colour.
It was difficult to find happiness in the things that I used to like. I missed the way he hugged me, the sound of his voice, the tenderness in his actions. I missed the way he would whisper the corniest jokes against my ear and make me laugh, but most of all, I missed the way we used to be.
He was my first thought of the day, the light at the end of my tunnel. How must I separate these fantasies from reality? Would things be different if I didn't confess? Would he still be here?
The reality was that he has not had these fantasies, we did not build our dream together, so I have to let it go.
Even though he had left after the momentarily love we shared for one night, I can tell myself that at least I knew that he genuinely loved me at one point. My mind will be at peace because I wouldn't have to go manic wondering for the rest of my life if it was only me - I know now that we did truly mean something to each other.
We're so distracted by how things end, we usually forget how beautiful the beginning was.
It was a quote I heard somewhere. My love was a myth, but Wooyoung never believed in myths, and so that was both the start and end of our story. Some things are only real if you believe that they are.
A lone tear slipped away as I remembered how beautiful the wisteria was when we had first met. His absence will be the best part of me, I decided, so hopefully for the last time after a while, I weep again.
I will wait for him, no matter how long it took.
3.5 YEARS LATER
I sat in front of the vanity table in my hotel room, staring at myself from the big mirror wearing my white satin robe, it made my complexion pop into a champagne rose hue.
I made eye contact with the person looming behind me through the mirror. "Would you like me to tell them to adjust the makeup and your hair?" he asked me tenderly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I figured you'd love a natural look so I made it happen."
"No, it's perfect, you always know what's best for me," I smiled widely, putting my hand on top of his gently. It was the truth, it managed to bring out me feminine side, and therefore, my self-confidence as well.
I was the happiest I've ever been today, especially because I was finally with the love of my life. He frowned a bit when I pulled him a bit closer to fix his slightly rumpled collar and hair.
"I like the blonde, my love," I ran my hand on it in a trickling motion so I wouldn't mess it up.
He smirks, grabbing my hand to kiss it. "Yeah? That's good, I was feeling tired of the red, plus I don't think it would be appropriate for today."
I chuckled a bit. I have always loved his style, it was so masculine but also so chic and sophisticated at the same time. He was already wearing the suit and tie I had chosen for him today.
I will miss the red hair though, I still remember feeling uneasy when I saw his red hair for the first time, but I have come to love it over time. This blonde was making me feel some type of way.
I took a glance at my wedding dress that was placed at the far corner of the room. The lace upon lace design was very cozy and snug against my curves and it made me feel like the most beautiful bride in the entire world.
"So what's the schedule, darling? Your photography session here alone or with your bridesmaids for now?" he glanced at his wristwatch.
"Alone for now," I hummed. "I want Joongie, Sannie, and Yeo in here right now. You should go check with Yuyu and Mangi if you need alterations, and oh, check with Jongbear if he's all set with the wedding songs later?"
Over the years, I have gotten so close with the gang and they've all become my bestest of friends. The journey wasn't easy, but at least I've gained seven other lifetime friends.
He chuckled, clicking his tongue in amusement. "Alright, but calm down," he plants a quick kiss on my lips. "As much as I love when you're in your thinking mode, I want you to relax for today."
"I can't help it, Seonghwa, I've never done this before," I pouted.
Seonghwa squeezed my hand lovingly. "I know, me neither, but I'll be with you through everything, okay? And don't worry about those three knuckleheads, they're on their way."
"I love you, Hwa."
"I love you more, darling."
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and indeed, the three people I was expecting made their merry way towards me and Seonghwa.
"Well, well, well," Yeosang strutted towards me. "If it isn't my favourite sister."
"I'm your only sister," I rolled my eyes, making everybody laugh.
"Oh, Y/N, oh my goodness," Yeosang hugged me tightly. "Goddamn it, I shouldn't have gone here, you're going to make me cry."
"Shut up, Yeo, you're going to make me cry too," I choked, holding my tears back so I don't ruin my makeup. "I could barely hold myself when I saw Mom and Dad bawl their eyes out earlier."
It was like we were back in our childhood again where we supported each other whenever we got an achievement. We don't see each other much but our closeness never got less.
"I'm proud of you, you deserve this happiness," Yeosang smiled. "I'll see you out there, my back is hurting from Seonghwa glaring at my back for taking your time."
"I was not!"
"Some brother-in-law you are, Park Seonghwa!" Yeosang retorted.
We all laughed again, there's nothing better than having friends to celebrate your day with you. Yeosang left shortly and now I was with San and Hongjoong to check up on some things.
"The guests are coming in gradually," San lowered his glasses while he tapped away on his tablet. San was the one who arranged the beautiful venue of the outdoor garden where me and Seonghwa will marry as well as the food and invitations.
San moved away from photography a couple of years ago and started a business on coordinating events. "I reckon they'll all be here within two hours," he continued, but paused hesitantly. "There might be one seat vacant, I'm not sure he'll come..."
The air was a bit tense. I knew who he was talking about. "It's okay, Sannie, we have back up photographers in case he doesn't want to do it..."
Hongjoong cleared his throat loudly. "Congratulations," he grinned from the other side of the room.
"Thanks, Joongie, you're the best," I grinned back, thanking him for more than what I was referring to.
Hongjoong was the one who designed my wedding dress from scratch, and Mingi designed Seonghwa's. It was their first wedding haute couture and definitely not their last.
"Any adjustments you want me to make? I would ask you to try it on, but that's bad luck. " he joked. I shook my head no. "Alright. But I'm sure you'll look good. We're very happy for you, Y/N, we really are."
It felt great to hear it in general, especially on my wedding day, but it meant a lot coming from Hongjoong. All of them were brothers to me, but he was the eldest one.
"Seonghwa, if you think of hurting her," San cracked his knuckles. "You know what will happen."
"Yeah, yeah, sure San, you're scared shitless of killing bugs, let alone beat me up," Seonghwa rolled his eyes, making us all laugh our heads off because it was so true.
Mingi, Yunho, and Jongho also popped in after a while to say their congratulations. Yunho was in charge of hosting the reception, which came naturally for him since he has such an engaging personality.
"I'm so nervous, what if I stutter?" Yunho groaned. "Though I'm sure Jongho here is more nervous."
"A little," Jongho admitted. We were all surprised, he usually does very well on literally everything.
"Jjong, you're literally the best singer I've ever heard," I cheered him on.
"It's not that, this is different. This is your wedding we're talking about."
"That's true and all," Mingi chided in. "But I'm pretty sure Seonghwa is the most nervous out of everybody. Y/N, you gotta tell his ass to calm down, I couldn't even properly adjust his suit, for God's sake!"
We all turned our heads when the sound of another knock resounded through the room. We all looked at each other in confusion, Yeosang was the only one not in here and he would never knock before entering.
Yunho took the initiative to open the door, although apprehensively. He opened the door in an angle where we couldn't see who was outside, but he did, and when he did, he gasped loudly.
"What the fuck!" he shut the door loudly and leaned against it, pale white.
The room was silent, Yunho wasn't the type to curse in general. We all looked at him with very wide eyes and he stared back with his mouth agape.
"Yun, what the hell was that?" Mingi broke the silence, as calm as the ocean.
"I-I, uhm, I-I don't th-think," he stuttered.
"Oh, what the hell," Jongho rolled his eyes, walking towards Yunho and pushing him out rather roughly so he could open the door himself.
Jongho muttered a curse under his breath, before closing the door a bit gently this time, but he also had the same shocked expression on his face. This time I was freaking out, wedding jitters and all.
"Yah!" someone on the other side shouted, banging on the door.
"Open the damn door!" Seonghwa seethed, but quickly muttered a 'sorry' when I glared at him.
Both Yunho and Jongho opened the double doors at the same time, and the person entered. My mind had a small explosion, my heart beating twice the speed it should have, and the hairs all over my body stood up in the collective gasps we all had when we saw him.
He was someone I never thought I'd ever see again, someone I dearly missed even though we ended on a sour note, someone I couldn't wait for anymore even though I told myself I would.
"Wooyoung," I whispered, a bit teary eyed.
"Wooyoung," Seonghwa confirmed, but I could see how nervous he became.
"Wooyoung?" Mingi asked in surprise.
"Wooyoung!" Hongjoong laughed in disbelief. "Wooyoung," San growled, gritting his teeth.
"Oh hello there, Wooyoung," Yeosang suddenly entered the room. I can tell he was upset, especially because he patted Wooyoung's back in a "friendly" manner.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Wooyoung screamed his signature loud screech, but it was too late.
His squawks get louder as everyone, except me and Seonghwa, swarmed him aggressively, like a mob that threatened to end his existence. There were laughter mixed with complaints but overall, everybody seemed happy.
"You crazy son of a bitch, you have us worried, you never even called or texted!"
"Wow, you're uglier than before---ow!"
"Don't ever think of leaving again!"
"Come here, you monkey!"
I felt Seonghwa tense from behind me. I patted his arm, causing him to look at me. I frowned a bit, his eyes held anxiety and inferiority. I understood, the man I used to love was here.
"Alright, alright! Get off me, you airheaded buffoons!" Wooyoung shouted, trying to push everyone off, but ended up laughing hysterically with Mingi and Jongho.
Hongjoong only shook his head and rolled his eyes but I can tell he was happy. San grabbed his collar harshly and for a moment, we thought he was angry, but he ended up pulling Wooyoung into a bone crushing hug and Yunho had to pull him away to give him a hug of his own.
Yunho had always carried the burden of guilt for the past year, he kept saying that he could have stopped Wooyoung back then. Yeosang ruffled Wooyoung's hair roughly, something he did when he's overwhelmed on how to express his feelings.
"Have you guys seen, uhm--oh," Wooyoung began, but faltered when his eyes met mine., his smile dropping in slow motion. He didn't know I'd be here.
The air became tense all of a sudden. A sudden heartache filled my mind with dread, flashbacks of what happened years ago reminding me of the bond we made only for it to break. But even though it hurt, I was genuinely happy he was here, so I put a smile on my face.
He was shocked, his eyes going back to the same twinkle he had back then, but it quickly disappeared when Seonghwa cleared his throat, then I saw it disappear permanently.
"We, uh, we should leave you guys to talk," Seonghwa murmured.
"A-Are you sure, Hwa?" I hesitated, holding onto his arm to stop him from moving.
I wasn't the only one surprised when Seonghwa nodded lightheartedly. "Mhhm," he hummed. "Plus," he glanced at Wooyoung. "This is a long overdue conversation."
With that, everyone left the room, but not before Seonghwa shook Wooyoung's hand. My heart was filled with pride. "Nice to see you again, old friend," Seonghwa patted Wooyoung's shoulder gently. This is why I loved him, he trusted me wholeheartedly.
Seonghwa knew everything, from how Wooyoung met me, to how grateful I was for everything he's done for me, all the way to him leaving me. Seonghwa and Wooyoung and pretty much everyone used to be good friends but he had to move away when they were younger because of his parents' work. He cried for me, he cried for everything I've been through, and cried for how far I've become.
Wooyoung stood awkwardly from where he was after Seonghwa had left, and I didn't even know what to do either. I wasn't even sure if he was the same person he was before he left, three years was a long time. We were strangers to each other at this point because I definitely have changed.
"S-Sit, Wooyoung, please," I blurted, not looking him in the eye as I pointed at the sofa across from where I was.
I stared at him as he awkwardly did as he was told. The years have been bittersweet to him - he had become unbelievably handsome, but his eyes had lost that youth and spark to it.
He had more muscle to him, and his face had matured into this angular and chiseled appearance - his brows were more prominent, his cheekbones higher, and his jaws stronger. His hair was longer too, instead of the bright red I knew him for, he had this black and blonde layered on top of each other like an Oreo cookie.
"How are you doing, Y/N?" he softly asked. Even his voice got deeper, more booming, but it was still as calming as I remembered it to be.
"I'm good, I feel really happy," I genuinely replied. "I'm glad you're able to come despite your schedule."
"Of course," he sighed. "I'm surprised you still invited me."
"Why wouldn't I?" I whispered, all the hurt threatening to spill out from me. "B-But how have you been? Did you get what you wanted?"
I knew the answer to that question. Of course he did, Wooyoung was now a well-known photographer who was in-demand all over South Korea. He was basically a celebrity, but I still wanted to hear it come from his mouth.
Wooyoung smiled tightly. "Yes and no," he said cryptically.
"W-Why?"
Wooyoung stared at me for a minute, his eyes not giving away what he was feeling. My heart almost burst out of my ribcage. He tried so hard, but he was fiddling with his pants, a sign he was nervous.
We might be two different people now, but I still knew him like the back of my hand.
"So," he cleared his throat, finally looking away. "Seonghwa, huh?"
I hummed, letting him get away with the fact that he was changing the topic. "Yeah, we just clicked," I smiled shyly. "A couple of months after you left, Joong introduced us together..."
He nodded, choosing not to reply. It got awkward again after that, the silence filling the room in an uncomfortable manner. He was only a couple of feet away from me, but he felt like miles back. My heart cracked a little, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
"I-I'm happy for you, Y/N, I really am," his voice cracked towards the end. "Congratulations on y-your...wedding."
I swallowed a huge lump on my throat when I saw Wooyoung look down, his hands on either side of his head, cradling it as I heard him sniffle. It felt like thunder to my ears, but I chose not to comment on it so as to not embarrass him.
"It was nice the first year, I felt like I was on top of the world with nothing tying or holding me back," he laughed bitterly. "But afterwards, I felt like shit. I had no family, no friends, no you. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life."
I stayed silent, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I would cry too. "I'm afraid now, little dove, I'm so afraid of doing things now because that one, single mistake cost me my whole life..."
I bit my lip hard, my heart breaking a little bit more for him. Oh, how the tables have turned, I used to be the one that always got scared of trying something, and it took me a while to fully commit to Seonghwa.
"I am so, so sorry, Y/N..."
I let Wooyoung pour his heart out, letting him sob silently on the sofa. I gripped my robe tightly, wanting to go to him like the old times, but I couldn't, not because I didn't want to, but because Wooyoung needed his moment. He wasn't only crying for the both of us, but for the suffering, the loneliness of being alone, and everything he went through to get the success he longed to have.
"I'm proud of you, Wooyoung, you did well. You did what you had to do back then, I can't fault you for that," I told him. "Yes, I was mad at you, I'm not going to deny that, but I forgave you a long time ago."
I finally let out all the things I've always wanted to tell him. "One day you were just gone, you couldn't even explain why. We were best friends, soulmates, or so I thought."
"What killed me the most was I felt like our journey together had just begun, and you had left too soon," my breath hitched. "You came, then you left, and you took parts of me I didn't know existed, as well as yours because I never had the chance to explore you."
He stayed silent, listening to me like he once did years ago. "To this day I still ask myself what happened, Wooyoung, what would life have been if you had stayed? What would it be like if we did things differently? For the longest time, I blamed you for leaving, and then myself for letting you go so willingly."
Wooyoung shook his head. "It's not your fault," he gulped. "I blamed myself for your cries that I pretended not to hear, for the anger that consumed me, I blame myself for not holding your hand tighter, for the tears I did not wipe away, and I blame myself for the loss of you."
He stares at me with his tear-stained eyes, not bothering to cover all the emotions he tried to hide earlier. He grinned bitterly at me, I knew how much it meant for anyone to tell him how proud they were of him.
He puts his palm over his chest, eyes closed. "If only you can feel how hard this heart beats for you," he whispered. "It's all for you, but would you be mad if I told you it's not as strong as it once was?"
I wanted to hold his hand once more like we used to do when we were still together, not as lovers, but as good friends, but I was frozen on my chair.
"Why would I be?" I tilted my head curiously, tutting at him lightheartedly to lift the mood in the room. "You underestimate me."
Finally, he smiled genuinely. "I can't help it," he chuckled. "The intensity is less, I can't repair all the hurt I gave you."
He paused, hesitating if he should say what he wanted to say, but he opened his mouth anyway. "You were my dream after all," he whispered begrudgingly. "I was blind not to see it."
That did it. The dread and burden I've been feeling was finally lifted off of me and I finally feel lighter than a feather.
The wounds he gave me were still there and they will heal slowly, but I can't deny my own heart right at this moment.
"Woo?" I smiled tightly. He looked at me expectantly, and it made my insides mushy. "My heart that beated for you will never stop either, so don't beat yourself up. I can never get rid of it."
He stared at me like I held the stars from the sky and offered it to him. In hindsight, I might as well have done it. He scoffed lightly. The insinuation was there, but that's all there is - that I still held him in my heart but it stops here.
"Don't be afraid to try new things, weren't you the one who always told me that? You miss the shots you don't take. If you don't want to make the same mistakes as you did with me, grab them while they're still there," I shrugged.
It was like nothing happened, as if we weren't separated for so long because of our circumstances. We finally caught up, laughed, giggled, gossiped like we used to before things got bad between us. I missed him so much, the way he would laugh like a dying fox, the way his eyes crinkled up, all of it.
We talked, we cried, the whole nine yards. The missing piece I didn't know was missing until now finally completed me. How have I lived that long without him?
"You got your wish now," Wooyoung jokes. "You finally have Mars once you marry Seonghwa."
Ah yes, Seonghwa helped me all throughout my journey. If it wasn't for him, I would have been a goner.
I scoffed, the nostalgia hitting me like a ton of bricks. "I can't believe you still remember that," I laughed. "I do have Hwa now, yes, but the planetarium will always be my first Mars."
Wooyoung smirked playfully. "It had better be. I hated it."
"What?" I threw a pillow at him jokingly. "Why did you take me then?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he snickered.
He was about to throw a pillow at me too, but when he saw my solemn expression, he stopped.
This time the nostalgia hit us both. That was exactly what he said when I asked if I had to pay for the very first photo he took of me.
Instead of being sad, one look at each other and we burst out laughing, giggling, and guffawing like hyenas in the wild, not caring if anybody heard us and thought we were crazy.
"Y/N?" Wooyoung uttered endearingly. I hummed in response. "Can I hold your hand for the last time?"
I held my hands for him, and he grabbed it so gently I wanted to cry. They were warm, and he held on yet simultaneously set me free.
He brought my hands to his chest, looking like he wanted to kiss them, but he held back out of respect for Seonghwa. Instead of his lips, tears fell onto them.
"If there is another life," he whispered. "I hope I can meet you again and if not, I will find you until I cease to breathe."
His heartbeat was so steady, and I felt my body shake, and once more, my eyes filled with unshed tears and I cried for the both of us this time. He releases one of my hands and wipes my tears delicately.
"Please don't cry, not for me again," he croaked, trying his very best to stop his own tears. "I don't want you to ruin your makeup."
"It's okay, Seonghwa and his team did my makeup anyway," I sniffled. "I hope in the next life you're not going to hate that you need me."
"Never," he objected. "Even if we don't remember, my heart will know."
I swatted his arm playfully. I never meant to giggle a little at that, he had always been so poetic and so cheesy. I guess some things never change.
"Stay for the wedding and reception, please?" I fretted. "I want my best friend there. Mingi tailored a suit for you in case you came."
I was nervous, afraid that he would reject my plea because he might feel out of place. I sighed a breath of relief when I saw him beam.
"I'll be there," Wooyoung mused. "I owe you this at least, Y/N, and I am going to give you and Seonghwa the best photos you both will ever see."
I cheered internally, but my excitement tipped over the top and I couldn't help but outwardly show it. Wooyoung laughed and we finally pulled ourselves in a hug to seal the deal. It was enough to make up for all the years we spent apart because one touch entwined our souls.
I realized that the electric spark that once tickled my skin whenever Wooyoung touched me was still there, and it was as strong as I knew it to be, but they no longer burned.
More tears made their way on Wooyoung's shirt when I recognized that I had healed a long time ago. I had mourned my loss and woke up anew, and the passing time did wonders too.
"Did you feel that?" Wooyoung mumbled, and I knew he referred to that spark.
"Yes," I squeaked. "Yes, I did. But why did you lie?"
Wooyoung paused from rubbing soothing circles on my back. "What do you mean?"
"I can feel your heart. The intensity never lessened, Wooyoung, you lied."
He pulled away from me, his lips pursed as he held my face with his hands. "I have to," he admitted. "I can't ruin the happiness you have found for yourself."
There were no words that needed to be spoken. We had finally found the closure we both needed.
The rest of Ateez entered the room one by one and gave both of us a knowing look. Wooyoung and I both grinned at them and gave them a thumbs up, to which they cheered loudly.
"You good, darling?" Seonghwa kissed my forehead as the others whisked Wooyoung away with teasing tones so he could change his outfit.
"Thank you, Hwa, thank you so much," I gushed, melting at his solemn embrace.
Seonghwa had always been there for me, he was so loving and patient towards me, and most of all, Seonghwa had chosen me, and I chose him.
He had his work too, he was a makeup artist, and that required traveling a lot, but instead of leaving me like Wooyoung did, Seonghwa did everything in his power to take me with him so we could be together. He didn't give up on the love we shared.
Wooyoung and I still loved each other dearly, but we had chosen our paths a long, long time ago - he chose to leave, and I chose to move on with my life. Seonghwa had made me realize that if you really loved somebody, nothing will stop you.
I kissed my future husband tenderly on the lips, to which he returned with urgency. The love I felt for him was different from the love I had for Wooyoung, but it burned just as brighter, if not stronger.
It was the true love I had longed to have.
Seonghwa and I finally tied the knot. Our wedding was a celebration of our love and those who came to celebrate it with us. It was simple, pure and all I ever wanted.
"I, Park Seonghwa, promise to love you, L/N Y/N, and cherish you until my last breath, and even then, you have to make sure I'm dead because I will always come back to you," he vowed, making a couple of people laugh. "You came in at the right time of my life, and I promise that for as long as I am here, I will make you the happiest woman on Earth. I love you so, so much, my darling."
I couldn't even get the words out, tearing up profusely especially with how Seonghwa looked at me with such love. At this point I wasn't the only one sniffling.
"I, L/N Y/N, promise to love you, Park Seonghwa, and cherish you until--- wait, if you go, then I'll be lonely, so please don't go," I giggled along with our friends and family. "You are the reason I'm alive, and I cannot believe I am marrying the love of my life. I will be yours as you want me to, Hwa."
The moment the priest announced that Seonghwa can kiss the bride, everybody whooped and cheered loudly and I couldn't help but laugh in between my now husband's kiss. I could've sworn I saw Hongjoong shed a tear or two but San was too busy teasing the elder by cooing at him mockingly.
Yeosang almost protested when Seonghwa's kiss lasted a little too long, but Wooyoung had quickly covered his mouth and pulled him away while he flailed his arms comically.
The wedding reception was a beautiful garden party that oversaw the lake. We were all surrounded by the fragrant petals that amplified the romantic sunset that gave the sky a pretty tinge of pink and purple.
Yunho was a wonderful host despite the initial nervousness he held and there was never a dull moment, especially when Mingi had caught the flower bouquet I had thrown over my shoulder. The gentle giant's reddened face was definitely the highlight of the night.
Jongho's voice filled the entire reception, to which me and Seonghwa encouraged everybody to dance to the rhythm whether Jongho sang a passionate song for us or an upbeat jazzy tune that made all of us dance the night away. Of course in between, me and my now husband would kiss and everyone would hoot.
Just as our wedding and love were elegant and sweet, so was our wedding cake. Everybody dwindled down to eat and drink to their heart's content. My feet were killing me anyway so I chose to sit down at my spot at the front with Seonghwa.
"You really went all out with this, huh?" I teased him.
He laughed, his deep sending delicious shivers up my spine. "Heck yeah," he snorted. "This is a once in a lifetime thing, baby."
As we watched everyone enjoy the night with their friends and family, I saw Wooyoung bowing to this old man, a friend of my father's, with a huge smile on his face after giving him his calling card.
I was happy for him, it looks like he finally followed his heart and scored another deal after being scared of doing another one. I watched him take his phone out and call somebody giddily, and when he dropped the call, I laughed as I saw him punch the air in excitement.
It was as if he knew someone was watching him. Wooyoung looked back and we made eye contact for the last time as old lovers. There were no words between us, but a million things in our eyes as we finally let go of all the hurt.
He smiled at me, nodding once, and I did the same, smiling back at him softly, before he turned around and left the venue.
And just like that, he was gone.
#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez angst#wooyoung x reader#ateez x reader#ateez fic#ateez imagines#atz x reader#atz#wooyoung#wooyoung ateez#wooyoung x y/n#ateez ot8#ateez fluff#angst#fluff#slow burn#one shot#ateez oneshot#jung wooyoung#kpop#kpop fanfic#ateez one shot#ateez au#ateez wooyoung x reader#ateez wooyoung#plot twist#happy ending just not what you think it is
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O.M.G! I love COD and Garcia from Criminal Minds (she’s my fashion inspo!) so you combine both, I’m on cloud nine!
Remember that episode/s where she got shot by an ‘Angel of Death’ unsub because he thought he was catching on to his crimes and tried/tries to kill her after taking her out on a date?
Well, imagine that happens to Penelope! Reader.
they'd take it so hard :( this can be read platonically/romantically i don't really know anymore LMAO 🤍
posted it again because i didn't like the way the first one looked <3 ooc/rushed!
part two
》》》 after the shooting 《《《
ghost was silent as his knee bounced while he waited for you to wake up, the room silent other than the beeping letting them know you were alive. and the occasional humming from soap who softly toyed with your hair, his fingers gently caressing against your cheek very tenderly. it had been like this for hours until heavy footsteps echoed through the corridors, letting them know the rest of the team were back
"got the bastard back at base" price spoke as he came back into the room with gaz. simon and johnny weren't to be trusted not to kill the man since they needed him alive so they both remained like glue, stuck to your bedside. even when one of the nurses tried to suggest to leave for a few hours to freshen up, ghost shot her a hard stare which made her back off in the same breath.
"she awake yet?" gaz was next, his voice gentle while ghost shook his head. his jaw clenched as his hands gripped the arm rest on the chair. seeing your state, seeing how vulnerable you were, seeing you dance upon the line of life and death and he couldn't do a thing.
"told her not to go on that bloody date. look at 'er now" simon's voice was harsh, angry at himself for not being able to protect you. hell, they weren't even the first on scene. your neighbours had heard the shot and worriedly called the ambulance.
"s'not her fault lt, she didn't know" soap spoke coming to your defence, his hand still cradling your palm in-between his big warm ones.
"christ's sake johnny, she got shot at!" ghost snapped, his brown eyes narrowing at the scot who sighed as he looked back down at you.
you were both the heart and brains of the 141, your intelligent analytical skills saving them more times than they could count but you were always so humble about it. you hadn't looked so frail before, gone were your pretty clothes and your little jewellery pieces. all you had on was a sickly hospital gown, catheters placed in different parts of your body accompanied with a breathing mask over your mouth
"how's the wound?" price interjected, removing his bucket hat as he came closer to the bed. his heart went out to the youngest of the team, it was never easy to see the sight of his soldiers injured and beaten down. it was especially never easy to see his soldiers laying cold on a bed, knowing their attacker was out and about
"she flatlined, messy wound. but one centimeter over and it would've torn right through her heart" soap spoke looking at price who nodded slowly as he came to the side of the hospital bed.
"a fighter" his voice was gentle, his thumb sweeping the apples of your cheeks ever so softly. silent for a moment as he glanced down at you, missing all the little eccentric pieces that made you you. but, you weren't dead. you'd be fine, he knew that. it didn't take the sting of not being able to prevent it any easier but you were a soldier, a capable one at that. you were fine, you were going to be okay
for now, they were to tend to pressing matters that lay for them back in base. and notably, none of them were going to be gentle about it. time was ticking, the quicker they dealt with the matter at hand the faster they'd be back to you again.
"take it easy, pretty. we'll be back soon" price bent down and whispered, his fingers fondly running through your hair before he straightened up with a swift nod and headed out the door to the car
"you're gonna be just fine, mama. i promise you" gaz whispered as he kissed your temple tenderly before leaning back, his eyes hardening as he remembered who put you in this position. the fear and pain you felt and they hadn't been anywhere close to you.
even if you were capable, even if you were one of the most intelligent soldiers on their team, you were the youngest. and each of them had taken you under this wing. someone had messed with you and subsequently, messed with them all collectively. he took a soft breath in, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of your palm careful not to knock over the drips before he followed suit like price.
"when i come back, those pretty eyes of yours better be awake bonnie" johnny chuckled sadly, his thumb drifting over the bandage wrapped around your chest as he sighed softly looking back to your sleeping face again. he kissed your cheek hesitantly, too nervous to knock over the breathing mask.
he hated seeing you like this. you had grown to be one of his closest friends here and the fact that he couldn't protect you as well as he thought took a hit on him. soap had always taken things a little harder when it came to you, he couldn't wait to tear the bastard that had messed with you. he stiffened back up and followed the rest of his team out, one last lingering look before he left.
and then ghost eyed you, his brown eyes narrowing a little at your body. you were still, too still for his liking. and though he knew you were alive, he couldn't help but the rise of slight panic at the thought of you dead. it was irrational, he knew, but it happened to him before. being forced into a position he thought could never happen to him and then it did, his worst nightmare a living reality. but he'd be damned if he couldn't do everything in his power to protect you from the same fate.
"i'll be back, lovie. i'll make the sorry bastard pay for what he's done to you," his tone was cold, hard, determined.
"you'll be okay" a soft murmur, the reminder mostly for himself and to calm those nerves. he pulled his balaclava up a little to reveal his scarred lips as he pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead. his fingers gently rubbing your skin, head leaning against your temple very slightly but still enough to feel you. to feel you alive and breathing, knowing that you were here and that you were going to be okay. a minute passed before he straightened himself up and looked at you with a nod.
leaving your hospital room with a new goal in his mind, to make the man pay for everything he ever did.
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Aw those best friend hcs were fun! Can you do everyone else at the hotel? Especially Vaggie?
A/N: I absolutely can! I'll make a part 3 or edit this one if I somehow forget someone (it could happen). This is quite the little grouping 🤣 I hope you like it!
Having them as best friend's part two:
Includes: Vaggie, Sir Pentious, Niffty, and Cherri Bomb.
Part One
Vaggie
Her deal is tough love.
As her best friend, you're used to being called an idiot half a dozen times a day.
You'll just be chilling after making some decision or saying something and she'll be like: "Not only are you blind, you're fucking stupid too!" But it wouldn't hold any malice
She's never really been one for gossip, but you can bet that she'll listen to how your day was.
Definitely the friend who would interrogate anyone you show interest in.
If someone says something out of line about you, she's putting them in their place before you can open your mouth to defend yourself.
Vaggie isn't very touchy, but she'll hug you sometimes. Especially if it was something like after the battle and she was just happy you were alive.
She's almost always there to ward off the bad.
Sleepovers! They're never her idea, but she can't say no when you give her those puppy dog eyes.
Really, she's always there for you, but with a sibling dynamic that makes some question if the two of you really tolerate each other at all. You do, but barely lmao.
Sir Pentious
He's a drama king. Sweet, but definitely dramatic.
100% the friend to hold your drink at a party. . . Because he's HOLDING EVERYONE'S DRINK!
If you had to go anywhere, he's sending the Egg Bois with you. They call you 'not master' and it's the cutest thing ever.
Sleepovers would be his idea, no doubt. An offer that couldn't be refused.
He calmly interrogates any potential suitors of yours, and if they seem fine, he might let them go on a date with you.
Will literally cry if you call someone else your best friend. Friend's are okay. But if you called Angel Dust or Charlie your best friend? Immediate tears. "But. . . I thought I wasss your besssst friend." Apologize, right now.
Gives you some new weaponized invention and your favorite Hellish sweet treat every year on your 'death day'. He takes it very seriously.
He's all for the tea, but only if there's 100% truth behind it. Like you witnessed the HOTTEST tea of the month and just went 'Sir P NEEDS to know'.
Everyone mistakes the calmness and caring nature of Sir Pentious as having feelings for you. Common misconception. That's just your slithery best friend.
Y'all take naps together at random because you can. And naps are life.
Niffty
You're almost as chaotic as she is, but you're better at hiding it. Sorry not sorry.
Because of her, everything you own is cleaner than when you got it and you found it disturbing at first, but eventually got used to it.
She climbs you like a tree and uses you to see better in large crowds.
She talks so fast half the time you could barely understand her until it clicked and you could reply.
She's very knife happy. Someone breaks your heart? "STAB! STAB! STAB!" Followed by maniacal giggles and her footsteps down the hall.
She tries new recipes and uses you as the taste tester to see if the others would enjoy it. The answer is usually yes.
Niffty is super blunt. She won't hold back a single thought, even if it could potentially hurt your feelings.
She rarely takes breaks, but when she does, her small frame is usually beside you, watching TV or relaying the latest drama she heard on the streets.
She's a good listener, but once again, she's also blunt.
Every picture of the two of you, she has that same far away look in her eye. Every. Single. One.
Cherri Bomb
She's a bad influence, that much is certain, but no amount of peer pressure could get you to do something you didn't want to do. That's why you're best friends.
She loves partying and dragging you out, but most nights, you stay in, which then in a way, forces her to stay in too.
"[Y/N/N], you bitch, why aren't you dressed? I thought we were going out tonight!" No. No you weren't.
She encourages you to step out of your comfort zone 24/7, because you're in Hell and it could only get so much worse.
She listens, but doesn't really pay attention all that much. There's almost always something else on her mind, but she makes it up to you somehow.
She'd probably push you down the stairs for fun if she felt like it.
Most likely to sing karaoke with you, absolutely plastered in a bar somewhere on the outskirts of the Pride Ring.
If you handed your cup to her to go to the bathroom, she'd probably misunderstand and drink it.
Glares at anyone who looks in your direction, purely because she doesn't trust very many at all.
Would reluctantly agree to a sleepover if you asked, just because you're her main bitch.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#vaggie#sir pentious#niffty#hazbin hotel imagine#egg bois#cherri hazbin hotel
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the librarians "and the final curtain" (s2 finale) watch through:
"i made some very bad bicycle pant choices in 1995" "there are no good bicycle pant choices" adorable flynn/eve banter as always
no internet, no electricity, that really would cause a lot of problems. i mean, hospitals, for one thing…
yeah exactly! this is not very prospero at all really! whats that about??
ooh i like that they give an explanation as to why flynn’s note to himself was so vague. often im watching a show like this and thinking "okay but why the riddles? just leave some instructions, damn".
"im gonna hate time travel, aren’t i?" me too baird me too
that schrodingers cat joke is the best!!
Cassandra: It’s Schroedinger’s cat.
Flynn: No, he's upstairs in the Theoretical Animals wing.
Cassandra, whispering: He's alive?
lmaooo baird saying "WAS THE WORLD ORIGINALLY RULED BY TALKING DINOSAURS FLYNN." [to cassandra] "don’t even think about it." baird is good at preventing cassandra from either getting off track or straight up breaking her brain lmao. don’t even think about it!!
oh this show gets all my issues with time travel plots cause they always break my brain a little. they just talked about one of the grandfather paradox variants.
oh damn. seriously how do baird & flynn come back??
ah man the time travel is getting complicateddd stop talking to this very important figure whose works & life are still very much known today
aw, jenkins thinking about arthur coming back… seems like jenkins has had some great times but also definitely some incredibly long lonely stretches…
ooh yes ive read about how prospero/the tempest relates to shakespeare, as one of the last plays he wrote alone!
now moriarty killing shakespeare would’ve straight up been the grandfather paradox since shakespeare-as-prospero brought moriarty into the real world, so he wouldn’t have existed if they killed shakespeare back then.
parker would like magic because like 80% of the time it’s just used as a blue lightning taser.
speaking of parker, hi again beth riesgraf.
is baird uh. is she good? is she drowning, or are the lake ladies just kinda hanging out?
"what kind of sorcery is this" 🎶 what kind of fuckeryyy is thissss 🎶 (me & mr jones).
ohhhh my god are they really not gonna come back to the present?? im so stressed!!
"time travel the long way round" & "anybody can time travel, just in one direction" haha. funny and also a little poetic :)
okay this season finale was STRESSFUL but also very very awesome
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I see that you do tbhk! If you could can I request friendship hcs for nene, hanako, and Kou? Ty in advance :)
general friendship hcs.
summary. general friendship headcanons with the main three.
trigger & content warnings. references to death.
tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. yashiro nene & reader, hanako & reader, minamoto kou & reader. 0.8k words. no pronouns for reader.
author's thoughts. hello dear!!!! yes ofc you can.... the tbhk fans have been finding me recently and it makes me so happy helshsjghfh that's my comfort manga (i say, knowing it is the most horrible, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing manga i have read thus far)!!! i COULD say that this is my first time writing for tbhk, but that would make me a liar, because it's not! my first reader insert longfic was a tbhk one on quotev way back in 2021. i'd say i've improved a lot since then.
YASHIRO NENE—
being friends with nene means getting dragged into all of her supernatural adventures. if you're close enough to her, that is.
she, without a doubt, rants to you about her crushes and asks you for advice! she'll also complain about hanako to you, if you so happen to know about him.
she's super supportive. she's always cheering you on and encouraging you! and also, if you want advice or want to rant to her, she's completely open to that.
she rants to you, so you should be able to rant to her too. it's only fair. she does admit, though, that her advice might not be that good.
also i think nene would be physically affectionate. always hugging you, maybe giving you a lil kiss on the forehead if you're comfortable with that! hand-holding is also common with her.
she would be SO happy if you shared her interest in gardening or cooking! she'd love to have another friend to do those things with. if not, that's okay too! she doesn't want her friends to feel uncomfortable or forced to participate in any way.
she cares about you so so deeply and genuinely would be devastated if you ever got hurt because of her.
if you're a ghost, i don't think your dynamic would change much at all, actually. i think she would still treat you the same!
tell her she is pretty!!!! do not let her insecurities get to her!!!! reciprocate her supportive energy!!!!!
she might actually cry if a friend of hers were to support her so passionately.
HANAKO—
like nene, being close enough friends with hanako means you end up getting involved in things you probably shouldn't be involved in LMAO
i don't think he MEANS to get you involved, because he does worry about your safety, but it just sort of... happens. you end up involved regardless.
dude follows you everywhere, 100%
it's like what he does with nene, just without the romantic subtext LMAO
if you're human? he's sitting in your classes with you. he does it mainly for two reasons: one, because it reminds him of when he was alive, and it's strangely comforting. two, because he loves you and wants to annoy you <3
he's generally very clingy, and if you happen to be a ghost? ohohoho it's FAR worse.
he's always touching you in some way.
playing with your hair, fidgeting with your hands, hanging off of your shoulders... he's very touchy. poor thing is so touch starved.
personal space? he has no idea what that phrase means!
(he does, and if you seriously ask him to, he will respect your personal space and boundaries.)
it doesn't come from a bad place. he just finds it grounding. reassuring.
hanako also generally won't come to you with his problems.
he's not keen on being an open book. if you've known him for long enough, he would absolutely be more open to being honest with you, but if you haven't known him long at all? yeah... he's not cracking. trying to forcefully pry him open wouldn't help either.
MINAMOTO KOU—
he will absolutely, without a doubt, make you cute little homecooked meals.
we all know he's the only one out of his sibling's who is both old enough to use a stove and competent enough not to burn the kitchen down, so of course he would spend time making you a lunch!
especially if he felt like you weren't eating enough or you needed something extra to get you through the day. he notices the little details like that.
he's an acts of service kind of guy. he does little things to show you that he cares.
btw. if you're close enough friends with him? tiara and teru will both know you by name. you'll become like another member of their family <3
(tiara would get so excited every time she gets to see you, practically bouncing on her heels.)
i like to think he's a lil protective!!!! he worries about your safety and worries that supernaturals might want to hurt you bc of his involvement with you :c
teru would smite them before they got the chance, though, so kou really doesn't have much to worry about.
if you're a ghost, i think this dynamic would be very fascinating.
teru would try to kill you. yeah... sorry.
kou wouldn't let him though!! he would believe wholeheartedly that you're good and have no intention of being harmful, and because teru isn't really interested in ruining his relationship with his brother... you get to keep living your afterlife!
(please don't betray kou's trust.)
also if you're a little bit older than him, or if you just seem wiser, i think he'd ask you for advice on a bunch of things!
he doubts himself a lot. be sure to reassure him that he's doing the best he can for someone so young.
please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!
#aphelion's headcanons 🌸#yashiro nene x reader#hanako x reader#minamoto kou x reader#kou minamoto#hanako kun#nene yashiro#yashiro nene#tbhk x reader#jshk x reader#toilet bound x reader#toilet bound hanako kun
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Back on ur Tumblr after awhile.
Just wanted to ask if u saw the newest (I think) Tales of the TMNT series trailer.
I thought it looked great.
Very curious to see the boys separated.
Also nice to see more April.
And more April and Leo stuff; I love her, and they are so fun and funny and together.
It is so funny to me that Leo basically looks so worried and/or like he is is going through it in some way in ever trailer and/or teaser basically.
Nice to see some more of him being more confident, silly, dramatic, and cocky though in the new teaser. Because those can be so him too.
It was also very cool to see more Donnie in the new teaser, he wasn't in the last one much, and he got some cool/nice stuff in the newest one. My dude is really worried about his brothers.
Also, we got Bishop too! I love her voice.
Anyways, done rambling about the new trailer. I was sad it TOTTMNT didn't come out in April, but if it coming out in August means the people behind the series can take it easier and try to give a better series, I can wait. August isn't too far off anyways.
Last of all, just like a picture of urs with TMNT 2012 Rise and Leo redesigns, and thought they looked great! Esp. TMNT 2012's ones, but Rise Leo's looked great too
(and I still love Leo having red eyes. I hope people start giving TMNT MM Leo red eyes, because 1. I think they are cool and I now really like Leo w/ red eyes, 2. I just think they would suit TMNT Leo's dinosaur-looking person, and 3. I thought I saw a screenshot of the movie, like a close-up, of some ending scenes when Leo wasn't wearing his mask and was going to school and wearing normal clothes, that looked his eyes were (kind of) red)
Also, loving u drawing TMNT 2012 Leo in his cocky/confident-looking, iconic pose of leaning on his sword(s). LIke, people would think that would be something Rise Leo would do (and he would), but TMNT 2012 Leo defin. would and has too.
Ok, done with this very long Ask. I just hadnt been on ur Tumblr for a bit, so I had even more to say than usual. Lmao.
God this has been sitting in my inbox for a long time now. First and foremost, welcome back! I was genuinely wondering if you are still alive or nah lol-
Okay now onto everything else-
The Tales of the TMNT trailer
Honestly, I have a lot of hope the show will be pretty cool!
I loved the scenes where it implies that the turtles will have their own solo missions. This could possibly be all in one episode where they are all alone but I don't know. I'm also excited to see how much their personalities are expanded on.
From what I've seen we also got the purple dragons revealed! I like Hun and Angel so far. Especially Angel, I think she is the leader of the Purple Dragons now within this iteration. I really hope they bring back old classic characters. Personally I have always thought that Mutant mayhem would take more inspo from tmnt 1987 which I really hope that is the case and they bring back fan favorite characters.
I was honestly shocked to see Bishop as a woman. But honestly, she looks badass. I'm kind of laughing my ass of at her being a grumpy old ass grandma who has beef with literal teenagers. I do wanna see what her deal is though. Maybe she is working for Cynthia?
Speaking of- I wonder where she is? I really hope she isn't just thrown to the side or something. It seemed like they were building towards something with her character. Also, just from her last name Utrom, it's clear they might introduce the Kraang or even just the Utroms. Maybe both as well-
I genuinely hope Shredder comes in. I wanna see him really bad. Like I said I hope they bring the classic characters back.
April looks really stunning and I already love her. I really wanna see her relationship with not just Leo but also the other turtles as well.
I will be honest I genuinely thought the show was gonna be 3D animated. I was a little upset but, I immediately fell in love with the art style simply because it reminds me of a comic sort of art style.
Overall, high hopes for this show!
Now about the drawings
Thank you so much! <3
I feel like they are slightly outdated now, but I genuinely loved drawing them! And yes I adore Leo with red eyes. He just looks so cool with it.
Also 2012 Leo's pose was based off of the official renders I found.
Same with rise Leo as well!
Again- so happy you like my designs! <3
I haven't that active with TMNT as of late, but I promise I'm still here, I didn't leave. I'm just obsessed currently with toy monsters that come to life that try to kill you and that from a game I literally tried to boycott back in 2021 lmao
#this took me a while to respond I'm sorry#glad to see you back by the way!#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt fandom#tmnt mutant mayhem#mutant mayhem#tmnt mm#tmnt 2023#tales of the tmnt#tottmnt#tales of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2k12#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise leo#rise leonardo#2012 leo#2012 leonardo#tmnt leo#tmnt leonardo#ask#answered#chatxkilluarxnoir#bunny answers#foxy answers#bunnyfoxy answers
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The Tortured Poets Department Unhinged First Listen Review:
Fortnight-
NEEDS MORE POSTY, we love a “I wanna kill her”, this one MIGHT BE about Matty Healy lol “I touched you for only a fortnight”
The Tortured Poets Department-
“WHO USES TYPEWRITERS ANYWAY” YOU BITCH ITS YOU LOL, Charlie Puth name drop 🤨 oh god so many name drops, THIS BRIDGE, not the wedding ring…
My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys-
THERE WAS A LITANY OF REASONS WHY WE SHOULDVE PLAYED FOR KEEPS THIS TIME my jaw literally dropped the entire last verse
Down Bad-
“Everything comes up teenage petulance” this one is cringy but in a way I love, Taylor Is Very Much A Down Bad Girlie
So Long, London-
this song is tachycardic I PROMISE I MADE THIS JOKE BEFORE “STOPPED CPR”, two graves one gun I SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WAS THE CLUES damn she’s really sad to lose London huh
But Daddy I Love Him-
this would have a cool music video “she’s was chaos he was revelry” this is if red and the 1975 had a child that’s the vibe
Fresh Out the Slammer-
Okay so this is the “I just realized how bad this relationship truly was and thank god I’m out of it”, okay the weird slow down stuff wasn’t my favorite thing
Florida!!!-
I’m cackling, THE FLORENCE VERSE IS SO GOOD I think that this is just a Florence and the machine song it sounds so like them
Guilty as Sin?-
Okay this is the first one I’ve been like “oooooo I really like this one” “what if I roll the stone away, they’re gonna crucify me anyway” DAMN some religious imagery will always get me right in the trauma
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?-
This one has a lot of the brain scratching pauses “don’t you worry folks we took out all her teeth” oof this song is just really angry
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)-
Cowboy Like Me but they don’t end up happy, okay “good boy” made me giggle so apparently in a 12 year old boy
loml-
PIANO! WANT IVE WANTED THE WHOLE TIME “still alive, killin time at the cemetery, never quite buried” I’m getting a gun and flying to London, I swear “TALKING RINGS AND TALKING CRADLES 🤨” JOE ALWYN FOUND DEAD IN A DITCH “THE LOSS OF MY LOVE” COUNT YOUR DAYS JOSEPH 💀, this should’ve been track 5
I Can Do It With A Broken Heart-
hello production that is giving Barbie movie/80s vibes, this is the first one I’m certain was written recently like it was definitely written on tour, the peppy “cause I’m miserable!” Hurt Me but also same
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived-
THE BREATH ahhhhh PIANO! “I don’t even want you back I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal” okay back half of the album is eating, THE PICKUP, SPEAK NOW VIBES BUT MOM IS OLDER AND MADDER
The Alchemy-
ok ok ok “I circled you on a map I haven’t come around in so long but I’m coming back so strong” fucking meant,👌 touchdown mention lmao, okay this is SO ABOUT TRAVIS 🥹🥰
Clara Bow-
Best production on the album in the first 10 seconds, BEAUTY IS THE BEAST THAT ROSE, WAIT WHAT????? “You look like Taylor Swift” yeah queen because you are lol, It’s so people can make the audio of her singing all the album names lmao
First Overall Listen- 7/10
I was getting nervous in the front half but the back half more than made up for it
The vibe was just off at the start and honestly that’s probably a me thing and will get better with further listens
The lyrics were amazing as always
Production was okay, some of the songs were perfect and some had me going 🤨
Charlie Puth
Top 3 in no particular order (apparently I like songs that hurt me):
Guilty as Sin?
loml
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
#the tortured poets department#ttpd#taylorswift#taylor swift#okay so like I kinda |didn’t like| it for the front half#and then Guilty as Sin?#and the album began eating
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Do you have any songs you associate with the group and or a particular DunMeshi character? I have a few I associate with Laios and Kabru (mostly Hozier tbh) but been having a harder time for Falin, Marcille, and even Thistle.
the way this launched me into a day long project of making playlists lmfao
This one I haven't curated super well, but I think i put it in a general progression that makes sense. Unfortunately I have a very small range of music that I listen to so Falin just turned into my millionth Sara Bareilles/Ingrid Michaelson themed girlie LMAO
Highlights on this playlist for me:
"Let the Rain" is just an entire mood for post-canon Falin I think. the line that hits the hardest about her for me is "and I always felt it before, that the world was filled with much more than the drowning soul I've learned to be."
"Twenty-three" i know i know i know it's kpop and no one's gonna get the lyrics but I couldn't not put it on the list. it's literally about being 23 and not knowing what kind of "woman" you want to become and still feeling like you want to be a kid a little bit and wanting to be understood but knowing that you don't even understand yourself and feeling like you're running out of time because you're firmly in your 20's now
"Secrets" i know is incredibly personal to Mary Lambert but most of the lyrics really fit and that like... intensely joyful self expression is just so delightful and lovely and what i want for Falin in the post-canon.
"I Am Here" to me, is just the ultimate celebration of being alive, of being joyful and grateful and happy that you're a messy animal that can laugh and hurt. I think Falin would cherish being half-monster, the fact that it gave her a second chance at choosing to be alive rather than sacrificing herself for others and letting that be her entire story, and the freedom it gives her to keep living.
you have to promise not to judge me on this one. you have to. yes i went ahead and curated an entire playlist that has okay-ish transitions/flow between songs and thematically follows Marcille's journey through the story. i also put a bit of kpop on it but it FITS okay she's a girly girl!!!!
It's rough. it's really really rough right now and i'll probably come back to it but the concrete songs i was trying to build around are like...
"What is Love?" it's literally just a girly girl song about wondering what love might feel like. complete with daydreaming about romantic stories and hoping all that wonderfulness will happen to you.
"Men of Snow" okay i know it's Ingrid Michaelson again but hear me out. this song is so fucking heartbreaking. it can be taken in different ways but if you put in Marcille's context it's gutting. it's a song about mortality and the impermanence of everything set to an almost cutesy waltz-beat piano accompaniment.
"Que Sera, Sera" self-explanatory, I think. im lucky this cover is on spotify because it's such a perfect song for encapsulating the entire sequence where Marcille decides to become the dungeon lord. (the second iteration at the end of the playlist is happier, taking the happy and calm interpretation of "what will be, will be", and also includes the second verse about a "sweetheart")
"What Sarah Said" it's a song about being in the ICU waiting for news about a loved one while suddenly realizing that there's nothing you can do. i think almost every line in this song guts me about Marcille, picturing her waiting for Falin to wake up the second time. (it's also my very pretentious attempt at tying the playlist together by answering the earlier question. What is love? "Love is watching someone die.")
"The Last Snowfall" is just. Vienna Teng has been my favourite artist since I was fifteen and part of it is that she has this incredibly beautiful way of leaving lyrics impactful but ambiguous. This song isn't about being afraid of losing someone but miraculously getting a happy ending, it's just an exploration of that fear with a "what if" built in, and I just think it's such a good way of capturing how Marcille was prepared to lose Falin and that was so important, almost even more important than the fact that it ended up being a happy ending anyway. also I wish i could have put in the live version because it's insane
For Thistle the only recommendation I have is Bird Song by Florence and the Machine it's wonderfully eerie, i literally think it's the best musical depiction of that specific kind of guilty murderer anxiety of "the telltale heart" from edgar allan poe
#asks#dungeon meshi#playlists#my taste in music is super limited i know i know#shush#and don't come after me for the kpop okay#it's really hard for me to keep korean songs out of my playlists bc they're just like. normal music to me#my one-sided falin pining playlist is just fucking loaded with the saddest korean songs you'll ever hear lmao#i always joke about how my internal emotional infrastructure is made out of vienna teng and crj songs#but surprisingly carly doesn't make many appearances in my dunmeshi playlists#ostensibly the vibe fits marcille but the inherent honest horniness kind of just bounces off her virgcel ridiculousness#also im not a Disney Adult i promise#that one song from tangled just has exactly what it takes to become 10x more eerie and tragic within the context of the resurrection#marcilleposting
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Okay because I have 0 self control, I have asks for everyone 👀 don't feel pressured to answer them all though! I just couldn't decide lmao 🖤❤️
Ghost: How far would they go to save someone they love? Would they sacrifice themselves? Others?
Phantom: What do they regret the most?
Wraith: what little regrets do they have?
Specter: Do they try to prevent unnecessary suffering?
Banshee: What haunts them?
Athena: What's their moral compass like?
Dax'Malkin: When have they been unable to save someone or something no matter how hard they tried?
Let's get fucked up.
Ghost: Ghost would *never* ever ever sacrifice someone else, but he would *always* sacrifice himself for the sake of someone else. He is deeply caring and protective, and he'd rather bleed or even die than let someone he loves be put in harm's way. He'd put himself between any danger to protect his family, he wouldn't hesitate, never again.
Phantom: Tom's biggest regret of all is pulling the trigger on his blaster and briefly ending Athena's life during Order 66. When she finally finds them in hiding, he spends the rest of his life protecting her. There's a lot Phantom thinks he's unforgivable for, but Athena's end is the thing he regrets more than anything.
Specter: Despite his hard and rude exterior, Specter will go out of his way to stop the suffering of others. He sees a loth/trash Cat with its head stuck somewhere? Free the cat. A kid wants a sweet but can't afford it? He'll steal it or buy it, give it to the parent for later, or the kid right then. But it goes both ways, it's not just for soft things... he'd end the life a creature if it couldn't be saved and was suffering. He's done it before, and as much as it pains him, he'd do it again. Anything to stop the suffering.
Banshee: I actually answered this one here, but the summary is this: on a mission to save refugees, a kid was killed under Banshee's protection. If he ever has a kid, he'll name his kid Jaia in their memory.
Wraith: I could write a book on Wraith's regrets, he is so nervous and anxious. His top three little regrets are:
1.) Getting drunk with his brothers and letting Phantom talk him into his one and only tattoo.
2.) That time he accidentally exposed himself to a very powerful aphrodisiac and spent several hours jacking off because he needed it to be OVER.
3.) Shaving his head when he was a cadet because other cadets kept pulling his hair or hiding things in it.
Athena: Athena's moral compass always points true north. She believes in kindness for the sake of kindness. That when someone is in need, you help them. That people are inherently good, no matter how bad they seem, there is some good in them still.
In other words: she is pure of heart and it shows.
Dax'Malkin: oh God. OH lord. Jesus christ. Okay. Alright. Here we go. We're gonna go chronologically.
Krazus. Dax'Malkin's twin brother. He never recovered from that and believed the jedi who saved him that Krazus was lost to them forever. They were just boys...
Vann Cree. Dax'Malkin's adoptive son, and younger brother to Annika Cree, his adoptive daughter. One month before the end of the clone wars, Annika and Vann were captured, and tortured for information. Vann didn't survive.
Annika Cree. Nika, or "Annie" to Dax and Dax alone, is still alive. But 3 days before the end of the clone war, when she finally returned to the jedi temple with her brother's body, and her lekku cut from her head. After all the torture and trauma, asking the council to help ease her pain, ease the loss of her brother and her first ever padawan as a master, she was met with "He is one with the force now, there's nothing more to be done." Dax wasn't there for Annika. He couldn't save her, or her brother, and when he felt Annika fall to the dark side, he never forgave himself for that. Even when he was in his own darkness, he never let himself forget how he had failed his children.
#from the archivist#grave squad clones#clone oc ghost#clone oc phantom#clone oc specter#clone oc banshee#clone oc wraith#jedi oc athena bello#jedi oc Dax'Malkin#oc ask game
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How would Valerie and BEN view each other and how they interact?
hmmm... let me think..
I've toyed with the idea of BEN having a tiny crush on her, but I don't want to make him the weird pervert he was in the peak of the fandom.. I MIGHT make it canon in my au, but if I do I'm probably gonna tweak it a lot. Maybe he's not a pervert and he just likes light hair, who knows.. (Also theres the lingering fear of Val being a mary sue but its 2024 no one gives a fart anyore!! I think being an artist online in 2017 gave me ptsd..)
Anywho, how they view each other!
Val : I feel like she's a little weirded out by him sometimes. It's mostly due to the fact she doesn't quite understand him.. Like growing up she's always figured ghosts would look like sad, bloody victorian children but then theres BEN who died in 2012 lmao. She doesn't view him in a negative or positive way, his off-putting ghostness just makes her uncomfortable sometimes. He did teach her how to play minecraft though. He also taught her how to use like all modern technology because it's been awhile since she's used anything that uses electricity. It's okay though because she can make dirt houses like a pro!!
Ben : If I go through with him liking her for a moment, he'd probably think she's cute but seems like she's had an excorcism at somepoint when she was alive. I've said before that she's kind of odd, but I feel like Jack and BEN view the weird stuff she does as endearing rather than concerning. BEN just leans more on the concerned side, if that makes sense. So like if Val brought Jack a dead moth with a bloody ribbon tied around it, he'd be like "aww, babe this is so sweet. I love you." But if she brought the same thing to BEN he'd be like "oh.. wow, thank you. This is.. cute." Like he's weirded out but he's also flattered she gave it to him specifically. Hopefully that's not too confusing
How they interact : It's probably just alot of BEN talking and Valerie asking what he means everytime he finishes a sentence. Their conversations are alot more awkward than cute honestly, heres an example:
BEN : "Um.. so yeah they made a new Halo game.. do you wanna play it with me?"
Val : "That doesn't seem very interesting." BEN : "No it's got like.. 20 hours of gameplay I mean-" Val : "I don't think I would be entertained by a ring for 20 hours." BEN : "What? Like the Halo ring? Did Jeff show you already?? He always does this-it's like he likes to piss me off." Val : "Jeff didn't show me a Halo." BEN : "So how do you know about the Halo ring then..?" Val : "Halos are rings. They're ring shaped, unless my memory is wrong." Like 10 seconds of silence before BEN speaks again "Oh. Nevermind."
Anyways thank you for asking! :D
#val・𐑂#eyho・𐑂#headcanons・𐑂#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta#creepypasta oc#crp#crp fandom#crp oc#ben drowned#ben drowned creepypasta
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free pass to talk about touken
HAHA, you're really indulging me huh
Ohhh what to talk about. It's funny, they occupy my brain 24/7 but as soon as someone asks me about them then there's nothing in that little head of mine. I guess I'm just gonna ramble lol.
Today I've been headcanoning about Touka sitting and waiting next to Kaneki while he's in his coma. Saiko and Urie being next to her as well and Saiko asking her who she is since she and Urie shouldnnttt really know her iirc. She introduces herself and also says that she's nekis wife (I will never get over her "MY HUSBANDS WAITING FOR ME UP THERE" MY GOD, I DIED AND ASCENDED HEAVEN THAT DAY) and saiko and urie getting shocked at that.
Saiko gets sad about the fact that she missed the wedding (calling her mamans wife from then on 😭♥️) and Urie mutters "First Takeomi, now Haise......." which catches Touka's attention. Since they visited yorikos wedding, she probably asked Kaneki who the man is she's marrying and what he's like. So if they know takeomi then they should also know what happened to yoriko!
And she freezes up because since she found out about the execution, she probs completely avoided thinking about it nor engaging with the topic in any way. She already did canonically with Kaneki but he knows how she feels and how that is and can give her comfort in the nights when the pain is too much to bear. Touka silently crying while Kaneki hugs her and kisses her trying to ease the pain if not at least a little 🥺
She is too scared to even ask if yoriko's still alive, too afraid of the answer. And while she starts trying to form the question, she unconsciously holds kaneki's hand enclosed between her two hands and squeezes it. Trying to find the strength to ask that question.
Urie starts answering before she even finished forming her sentence, assuming maybe she wants to ask where they are and tells her that they left the city (IIRC LMAO).
She falls forward, relief going through her whole body and holds kanekis hand against her forehead. Saiko and Urie ask her if she's okay since her body starts shaking but she says that she's fine. Knowing that Yoriko is alive and well and away from all the insanity that is happening right now in Tokyo, she couldnt be more happier about it. Now she only needs the person in front of her to wake up.
Gahhhh, I'm just.... soooo damn soft for hurt/comfort AND THATS LITERALLY TOUKENS WHOLE THING. Makes me think about the way Kaneki was nervous about seeing Hide again after all these years and going for Touka's hand, wanting to hold it in order to ease that nervousness 😭🤲🤲🤲 THEY ALWAYS GO FOR EACHOTHERS HANDS WHENEVER THEY ARE IN NEED OF COMFORT.
Although I also really like the thought of Kaneki needing lots of physical comfort and touka needing emotional comfort while the way that they give comfort is both the opposite, Kaneki giving emotional comfort and touka giving physical one. Perfectly aligning <3
I AM SO. DAMN. SOFT ABOUT TOUKEN
THEY ARE A SET, DO NOT SEPERATE THEM. LIKE HINAMI SAID, ONEECHAN AND ONIICHAN ARE BETTER TOGETHER.
I LOVE THEMM SO MUCHHHHH
#i am very normal about touken#THANKS FOR THE FREE PASS#and also the free pass in your inbox skbdjwbd#i know you like hidekane. I hope Im not boring you kqbdjwbd <333#or that you feel like you have to read all my rambling#its very sweet of you tho ♥️#asks#touken thoughts
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I'm actively putting on my tinfoil hat as we speak but... the more Zeno plays up the whole 'Oh Hunter and Willow Are Such Good Friends' on twitter the more I think we have a big Huntlow Confirmed Romantic moment still to come in the last special. I feel like he's trolling just for fun but also because he knows there's only a limited amount of time he can plausibly say 'uwu just friends!' about them and he's milking it.
I will always respect and appreciate those who fight the good tinfoil hat fight. My own personal reading on all of this is that it confirms that the finger link WAS the big Huntlow Confirmed Romantic moment. Because I feel like that's why Zeno keeps milking the "friendship :)" joke. Because it is very obviously not. And he's never gonna stop saying it. Cuz it's funny as hell.
He made the joke sparingly over the months before FTF aired when the canon content consisted of Hunter blushing and Willow going feral when he was threatened. But he's really amped it up now that more stuff has happened.
Like I was very much in the opinion that, depending on if you squint or not, the finger thing could be interpreted as ambiguous. Maybe. Possibly. Then as soon as the episode aired, he went and said this shit.
Which I consider as good a confirmation as any lmao. No platonic intent behind this scene whatsoever. It's explicitly romantic.
Zeno has also been very funny because he'll say shit like "what is huntlow? Is that a band? Do they have good songs?" and then rt art of them smooching in the same breath. He's liked and rted art of them before, though he was kinda cryptic about it. Removing it within an hour. It's as if somebody contacted him like "Hey!! Spoilers!! Cut that out!!"
This led to people turning his huntlow teasing into a bit of a meme, something he happily leaned into. Like he knew everyone else knew that something was going on with those little guys. But he was still not allowed to talk about it. So he was all "They're friends :)", knowing everybody got what he was putting down. Now he's apparently been given the okay to post about it, considering all the art rts, their relationship is no longer considered "spoilers" apparently, he's teasing about dubbing over a comic where Hunter refers to Willow as his girlfriend, like??? The man is fully free. He's been set loose. Huntlow is as canon as canon can be. I don't personally think his "advanced friendship" gag is hinting at anything bigger still to come. I think he's just committed to the bit. Man's got jokes.
But yeah I honestly see FTF as a "wrap" on Huntlow, the same way Hooty's door was a "wrap" on Lumity. In the same vein that Dana started posting and rting explicitly romantic Lumity art only after Hooty's door aired, she only interacted with Huntlow art after FTF. (Most notably stuff that was captioned "they're canon now") Like Zeno made a few slip ups but Dana never did. She's very careful about the art she interacts with, because people are quick to take her liking art as official creator approval and sometimes take it too far. So like. Huntlow canon bro. Huntlow painfully canon. They're officially established now. That's a wrap, folks.
Not that Huntlow's sweet little love story is over. Just like Lumity wasn't over after they were established. However, Lumity asked each other out at a somewhat low stakes point in the series. They had a little while to breathe and adjust as a newly formed teenage relationship. They got to have their silly little honeymoon phase and we got to see a glimpse into their mundane but adorable slice of life transition into girlfriends.
Meanwhile, Huntlow doesn't really have that privilege. They established themselves during a high stakes climax. They don't really have time to sit down and talk about this any further. Judging by whatever the Collector triggered at the end of the episode, they're probably gonna be more preoccupied with staying alive than entertaining thoughts about the fact that they're kinda sorta dating now.
Stuff's definitely gonna happen. I imagine they'll be joined at the hip over the course of WAD (possibly separated for plot related reasons and might be overly sentimental when they part ways and/or reunite.) If we get a breather or two throughout the ep, maybe they can flirt or hold hands or something dumb like that. Maybe some stuff linking them to Caleb and Evelyn. Idk if they're smooching. I seriously doubt it. I don't really believe we're getting any kind of kiss in the next special but a silly little cheek smooch like lumity in follies isn't unlikely. I could see it.
But yeah. I don't believe we're getting a bigger and grander romantic moment than the finger link, but I think we're gonna get a bunch of little ones instead. They don't have a lot of time to be cringe but I think they're gonna take advantage of every available moment to be complete losers for each other. I believe in them.
#i love you ''advanced friendship'' joke#but i miss ''or maybe willow?''#MR ROBINSON PLEASE BRING BACK OR MAYBE WILLOW
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