#she's normal > she's Stressed but Normal > she starts getting a bit strange > zoraxis hires her > oh okay shes just killing now. cool.

[mothbeasts]

ok since you're the fabby expert riddle me this bc i've been thinking abt this all day for some reason. what do u think like. her childhood/young adulthood was like. i rotate her in my head all the time but it is SO difficult to think abt her outside of the state she's currently in now. i know she didn't spawn upon this earth like that. but that's the only way i can picture it so i need insider intel on this subject

SO glad you asked because i think about this extensively. disclaimer that this probably does not line up with Actual Canon it's just my fun little version of events that happens in my brain.

With that out of the way. What was younger fabby like?

For starters. she was 100% a theater kid and finds it embarrassing as an adult. But you cannot stop being a theater kid. Ever.

Honestly. I feel like she was fairly normal as a kid. Maybe a bit TOO interested in morbid things like poison and murder but honestly. That feels Normal. She would've been the kind of kid who like enacted the strangest scenarios and drama with dolls I think.

Things get interesting at around her young adult era. See, in my mind, a lot of her issues started at around that time. Her general constant stress and poor sleep schedule were Definitely worse when she started university. But she powered through (mostly on spite) to get her engineering degree anyways. And then got a job with Zoraxis. Which in no way helped anything ever. In my mind she also got a minor in an art field - not entirely sure what but that's just how I imagine it going. Probably something fashion related, if we wanna take that watch poster into account.

Another thing in my mind is that she was far more reserved in. i wanna say the late teens-early 20s range. Quiet, not really drawing attention. Very absorbed in her studies. Her turn towards evil science was kind of simultaneous with her becoming more like the Fabricator we see in the games; by the time she's gotten a cozy spot near the top of Zoraxis, she's got her act perfected. But the perfect evil science persona DOES take time to craft and that wasn't really the direction she had intended to go at first. She started off just wanting to go into normal engineering or something. Even into her early days with Zoraxis, she was a bit eccentric perhaps but not quite at evil science level for some time.

I think her interest in poisons and such started to take a turn for the worse when she got access to university level chemistry labs. And then her engineering education obviously went towards murder.

The summary is she was honestly Pretty Normal in my mind up until she started working for Zoraxis. After that she realized she actually thinks the whole evil thing is fun and she wants in on it.

HONORARY OTHER HEADCANON MENTION: I tend to draw her with a prosthetic arm. Why, you ask? Lab Incident. She accidentally blew herself up really bad. This happened shortly after the start of her career at Zoraxis.

[faeriekit]

Health and Hybrids (XXX)👽👻💚

[I can't remember the original prompt posters  for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and the prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]

🖤Chapter navigation can be found here🖤 Click to browse previous updates.

💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts 💚 (now featuring mediocre mouseover translations, only available on a computer)

Where we last left off... Several therapeutic white boards were drawn on. Everyone reading was so good and normal about it. So were the characters, presumably.

Trigger warnings for this story:  body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) |  my nonexistent attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.

💚👻👽👻💚

Additionally: apologies to Adwen and Allmune on ao3, to whom I directly said I wouldn't do this; I lied. (Whoopsie).

Also additionally: Bonus fic snippet you may have missed

💚👻👽👻💚

“Are you hungry?” Danny’s new therapist asks, her fingers playing with her pen.

Danny shrugs.

Pretty quickly, they’d figured out that these sessions went…worse…when Danny was hungry. Hunger makes him upset. Being upset makes him want to speak less. Not talking ruins the whole affair.

“Want to talk?”

Danny shakes his head, and sprawls out onto the couch—he’s allowed to basically position himself however he feels comfortable in the room, and if he has a choice, he’d rather just hang out horizontal. Does it make getting back into his chair harder? Yes. Is there a lady with super strength right outside his the office door who is willing to pick him up at a moment’s notice? Also yes.

(It’s kind of silly, but, if his legs ever stop feeling so sore…Danny is. Well.)

(He’s kind of curious how tall he’d be if Diana held him piggyback.)

“Want to draw? Paint?”

Drawing is a high-stress activity. Danny tends to default to memories when he draws these days, and he’d rather not think about that right now. Finger-painting is another option, but it’s pretty messy…even if it would be fun…

Danny’s therapist (?) (he's pretty sure that’s what she is?) is a blonde woman, with a quiet face and piercing eyes. She’d probably be less intimidating if they knew each other’s language, if Danny’s being honest; usually these types of people try to talk their way out of being intimidating. Instead, Danny sits on her pinstripe couch in unbranded sweatpants and a thin white tee, and she wears a suitjacket over her tights.

It’s all very strange. It’s not more strange than his chaperone’s usual outfit of plate armor and tiara, but still.

“Want the language bócastréon again?”

…Danny hums in thought, hands crossed across his chest. He’s pretty sure they’ve tried building a thing that’ll detect his language, like, three different times by now, but every time it winds up like the Fenton Ghost Gabber: mindlessly repeating his words back to him, unable to make heads or tails on translation. At least these trials don’t end every one of his statements with I am a ghost, fear me.

Oh well. It’s better than nothing. Danny shrugs.

The therapist clicks the machine on from a switchpad at her elbow, and a blue holographic screen fills the air. Danny only spends a little bit of time batting at the display like a cat, watching the light play off his hands for his own amusement.

“Please begin,” the thing says, and the same text pops up on the screen.

“S’up,” Danny tells it, and grins when the little display starts its very, very, long, and very, very familiar, buffering process.

Danny already knows this isn’t going to work. He might as well have fun with it.

He talks about his day, he talks about his old bedroom; he talks about what he had for lunch, toying with one of the sucker-toys he woke up with ages ago even though he doesn’t know who gave them to him. He talks about his friends, because he loves them—not Tuck and Sam, who he’ll miss the rest of his life, but Mikey and Poindexter, and what school had been like for him. Quiet topics. Easy topics.

Normal topics.

…Danny isn’t’ sure he’ll ever have normalcy again, but…remembering it isn’t so bad either. He plays with his weird suction cup toy with both hands and he talks.

“…So I ended up getting stuck without the Speeder like a million zillion miles from the portal. I thought Jazz was going to kill me, since she needed it to take her girlfriend to prom the literal next night, so I had to run around for like forty minutes looking for someone to help me out— but at least Wulf was like ‘Ne estas problemo’ and he helped me sniff out the weird cheese Vlad had left in the center console of the Speeder the week before—“

The box beeps. “Lingvo identigita: Kryptonian.”

Danny bolts upright as fast as his limbs let him.

Danny was never as good as Tucker was with Esperanto, but—  But that’s Esperanto. Danny’s hung out with Wulf long enough, did enough Duodioma with the stupid little muppet bird mascot. The box didn’t call it the right thing, but—

—But—

The therapist looks at Danny, eyes wide. Danny can’t even look at her. He’s too busy staring at the discount-aisle Ghost Gabber.

“Diru ĝin denove,” Danny demands sharply. Say it again.

The screen automatically translates his words as he speaks—in Esperanto, and then into their own language, the two transcriptions populating side by side when Danny speaks.

At this point, the woman’s mouth is open. Danny would be right there with her, but—

Danny sits there, numb.

He has a language. A language that is mostly guesswork on his part and the occasional swears Wulf will teach him as a joke, but, still, a language.

A language made up by a doctor in Poland. In the eighteen…somethings. And these people with superpowers know it. And they know what it is.

And the therapist looks at him, stunned, with new eyes, as if she knows something new about him now.

…What the hell is Kryptonian?

*

There isn’t Kryptonian plural. Danny thought there there might be.

There isn’t.There is pretty much only one.

One. Singular. Kryptonian.

That feels worse, somehow.

*

Notes taken [DATE REDACTED] 2023, 22:37 UTC.

Participants are:

KE: Kal-El of Krypton, Codename: Superman. JD: Patient, John Doe, Codename: N/A. Patient file attached.

Note: Conversation was recorded in Kryptonian. Machine translation has been provided for convenience.

*Addendum: Yeah, I can get Jor-El on this, no problem –Supes

KE: This conversation will be recorded. Are you alright with that? JD: Conver…? KE: (Writing gesture) This talk. JD: Oh! Yes. KE: Good morning. My name is Kal-El, and I am of Kryptonian descent. On Earth, I serve as a protector. My title on Earth is Superman. JD: Superman? KE: Yes. JD: (Laugh) KE: Thank you. May I know your name? JD: (No answer) KE: Take your time. You may decline as well. JD: …I… (Pause). I do not… KE: That is alright. Do you have hobbies? JD: …What? KE: What do you like to do? JD: …I like to learn about space. I like to…when the fast child…we play games? KE: The fast kid? Impulse? JD: Impulse? (Incredulous) KE: That is his title, yes. JD: Why is his name Impulse? That is… Is that an insult? KE: I think he chose it? JD: (Stunned silence) KE: You like space? JD: Y…yes. KE: Tell me about it? JD: Do they not tell you about me? KE: I hear news. I have not met you face to face. JD: (Shrugs) KE: Not since you bit me, anyway? JD: I bit you? (Incredulous) KE: You were injured, and you were scared. I did not mind. JD: I am sorry! It was an accident! (Upset) I did not mean to! I do not remember— KE: It is alright, it is alright! (Placating) JD: (Cries) KE: Hey… (Touches shoulder) Oh, sorry. I should not do that. It is alright. My dog bit me yesterday, and my son bit me the day before. It is alright. You did not hurt me. JD: (Still crying, hard to decipher) You have a dog? KE: Yes! I have a dog! He is also from space. His name is Krypto. Here, I have pictures! (Takes out communicator)

*NOTE: pictures mentioned contain images of Superdog and Superboy(II)

JD: (Still crying) Are you supposed to ask me questions?? I have been here… I have been here for a long time. People want to know about what I am, and where am I from, and what I can do, yes? KE: Well…yes, but there is a lot of time. There is no limit. JD: (Wipes nose.) KE: All I am supposed to ask you today is if you have any allergies. See?

        *NOTE: List of potential allergens has been attached to patient file.

JD: (Takes list from KE) Allergi…? Oh. No. I am… No food makes me sick. I can eat all foods. I cannot take…there is a sick medicine. For a cough. I cannot take that. KE: Good to know! (Alarmed) I’ll tell your doctors. Do you like your doctors? JD: …Yes. (Shyly) They are nice. KE: Wonder Woman says that she already asked if you feel safe. Do you feel safe with your doctors? JD: I do. Everyone here is kind. I eat a lot. I get exercise. We play games. I take breaks. I see space. I do not worry here, unless I get scared by accident. KE: I am…very glad to hear that. (Chokes up.) My son is about half your height. If my son was far away, I would want someone to help him too. We only want to do our best for you, alright? Please tell us if something is wrong. JD: So I can fight? KE: Pardon? JD: I am meant to fight, right? KE: No, no—not fighting. Just healing. And resting. JD: And then after… I am supposed to fight? KE: No. No, not—you don’t have to fight. The only thing we need is for you to be healthy. We don’t need you to fight anyone. JD: Everyone wants me to fight. (Begins stimming with slime) There are many children here. They all fight. I am eventually going to have to fight. I know.

*NOTE: Slime was provided by Medical team for therapeutic use.

KE: (Pause) Who is everyone? JD: (Silence) KE: Did someone make you fight, before? Is that why you were injured? JD: (Silence) KE: I am sorry if they did. That is not fair. You are not an adult yet, and even adults should not have to fight unless they enlist purposefully. You are a child. JD: No one thinks I am a child. KE: Who said that? JD: (Silence) KE: Did someone hurt you? JD: (Pause) I do not want to talk. KE: Alright. Can you tell me why you do not want to talk? JD: (Silence) KE: Would you like to fight? JD: I am good at fighting. KE: That is not what I asked. JD: There is no choice? When there are bad things and bad people, someone has to fight. I am strong—when I am not injured, I am strong. I fight. There are people who are not strong, and cannot fight. I can fight. I fight. KE: (Silence) JD: This is why you are healing me. KE: (Pause) No, little one. That is not why. JD: (Pause) Oh. (Puts down slime) Am I…am I going to be data again? Are you going to test my body? KE: (Puts face into hands)

[PAGE 1 OF 4]

[Interview is to be reviewed by Black Canary and Dr. Pranathi Russo MD, Pediatric Psychologist.]

*

“It’s bad!” Clark says with a watery smile, because Clark isn’t Superman at the moment—in Bruce’s home office, as private as a place as the world can get, Bruce is only Bruce, and Clark is only Clark.

When Black Canary had suggested that their debrief happen somewhere private where Clark felt safe, Bruce had known that there would be bad news. Still, he pours a mug of coffee that Clark will metabolize all the caffeine out of anyway, and pours a long, thick cup of the stuff for himself, and settles back into his warm leather chair.

“Tell me,” Bruce says, not quite Batman, but not quite Bruce either.

“Bruce, he ‘knows’ we’re going to make him fight. He thinks we’re healing him to be a child soldier.” Clark’s laugh is half joke and half derision. Bruce thinks that he understands. “He thinks we’re keeping him here as—like property, where if we pick up something dumped on the side of the road, we can fix it back up and put it to work. Like an engine, or, or…or like a lawnmower. It’s awful.”

Bruce skips the creamer and goes straight to the Baileys beneath his desk for garnishing.

On the one hand, Dick has been flying out in Gotham since he was a preteen. There had been no question about training him; training was the way one kept their children safe, the same way that Alfred had taught Bruce how to shoot as a child—no matter how much Bruce had loathed it at the time.

On the other hand, Jason’s death plays out in his nightmares in technicolor around…once every few months.

The fires. The flames.

(The alien boy found in a wrecked vehicle outside the Kent farmhouse, curled up in fear.)

Bruce thinks about Damian, and how long it had taken for Damian to understand he could be loved as a child who loved animals, and not a future prince of Gotham.

…Bruce passes the Baileys to Clark.

The Kryptonian won’t absorb any of the alcohol in any meaningful way, but he dumps the remainder of the bottle into his coffee nevertheless.

[forever-rogue]

Hey hopefully you’re still taking Joel requests! Could I have one where reader gets hurt protecting Ellie and Joel tells reader he loves them for the first time? Thank you!!

AN | Someone asked for pain and angst, so here we are. Trust me, it’s going to hurt 😏

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language; TLOU typical violence

Word Count | 3.4k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Do you really think this place is safe?” there was a hard edge to Joel’s voice that caused you to roll your eyes at him. Once he spotted the gesture, he huffed and gently nudged your side with his elbow, “this is not a joke.”

“This is not a joke,” you teased and he was clearly not amused. That did nothing to deter your mood, “first of all - nothing in this world is safe. Second of all - relax a little bit. Stressing all the time doesn’t solve anything, handsome. Besides, this place is as safe as anything to stop in for a rest.”

“I say we listen to her,” Ellie took a step closer to over you and this time it was Joel’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Of course you do,” he held up his hands in a gesture of mock surrender, “fine. If that’s what the two of you want, go right ahead. We’ll stay here.”

“Yes!” Ellie grinned happily as she started to head towards the front of the old building. It was the remnant of an old department store; it was strange to think that Ellie had never even been in one before. You exchanged a look with Joel and he sighed lightly and shrugged his shoulders.

Before he could go to follow the young girl, you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and stopped him, tugging him back towards you, “you know I wouldn’t do this - anything - if I thought it was too dangerous, right?”

“I know,’ he promised with a curt nod, and despite his reassurance, he didn’t seem to relax, “it’s not you I don’t trust. It’s everything else.”

“I can handle myself,” you reminded him, “besides, I learned most of what I know from you. I’m not too worried about it.”

“I know you can handle yourself,” he reached up and tenderly brushed some dirt off your face, “the thing is, I don’t want you to have to handle yourself. I want you safe.”

“Unfortunately that’s not the world we live in,” you sighed softly, putting your hand on top of his where it rested on your cheek and gave a squeeze, “so we’ll just have to keep our eyes and ears open. Besides, Joel, you should have seen her face light up when she saw this place. She’s never even been in a store before it’s all new to her.”

“I know,” he nodded, exhaling slowly as he focused his attention on his feet, “we’ll just be extra careful.”

“We always are,” you leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, unable to stop yourself. You noticed the way his face flushed a light shade of pink, “come on, handsome. Who knows, maybe this could even be fun!”

You grabbed his hand and pulled him along; if you’d been looking at him you would have noticed the smile on his face. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“So people would come here and buy all the things they needed?” The girl’s eyes were huge as she walked around a rack of clothes, touching the clothes in wonder. Everything was in pristine condition, just dusty and covered in small holes. You nodded as you pointed at a jewelry display case, “wow. It’s so strange.”

“You’d come to a place like this for clothes, beauty products, shoes, sometimes furniture and all of that,” you explained; of course she knew of places like that, but to actually be in one was a different story. It made your heart ache to think that more than likely she’d never get to fully experience going to a store…or a normal life. This life was normal for her; to you and Joel it had been a matter of adapting, “and then, you know, grocery stores for food, and other specialty stores. The best place, though, was always Target.”

“Target,” she echoed as you nodded, earning a small groan from Joel. You shot him as an amused little smile before sticking your tongue out at him, “what was at Target?”

“Everything,” despite your best efforts a wistful little sigh escaped your lips, “clothes, beauty stuff, home stuff, food - it was magical. One day, when this is not the world we live in anymore, and we have regular stores again, I’ll take you to a Target and you’ll get to experience it for yourself.”

“You think it’ll be like that again one day?” she was already through a display of earrings, brushing her fingers over them gently. You didn’t want to get her hopes up, but you also liked to remain optimistic. It was always funny that you and Joel meshed so well; you were eternal optimist while he was a grumpy realist. Balance, you liked to think, and love. 

“I have hope that yes, one day things will be different,” you affectionately brushed a few stray locks of hair out of her face. Despite the hardened exterior she’d first presented, she was slowly opening up to the two of you. You figured that everybody just needed a little love sometimes. 

“Me too,” she let out a huff, quickly enamored with another display. 

You kept an eye on her, but shuffled back over to Joel, hopping up to sit next to him on one of the counters near an old cash register. You set your hand down and felt him move his hand closer, his pinky brushing against yours, “you alright?”

“Yeah,” you glanced at him and found him watching you with a soft expression, “it’s just weird out here sometimes. It’s odd to see things just perfectly preserved and basically frozen in time. It’s like normal - it’s just so close but so far away. It makes me sad a little bit…we all lost so much.”

With that he put his around your shoulders and pulled into the side of his body. You slumped with relief and felt yourself melt into him. There was something so reassuring and comforting about his presence that always made you feel better. He pressed a kiss to the crown of your head as you rested it on his shoulder. 

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a little while as you watched Ellie roam around the store, mesmerized by so many things. 

“What do you think?” you asked softly as he hummed in response, “do you think the world will go back to normal one day?”

“Do you want the real answer or the answer I want to give you?” he asked, his gruff voice reverberating in his chest. You laughed, but it was a bitter and sad thing. He reached for your hand, threading his finger through yours and giving yours a gentle squeeze. 

“I’m feeling very optimistic,” your voice was thick as a wave of feeling welled up in your chest, “give me the answer you want to tell me.”

“Well,” he started off softly, “I think everything will slowly go back to the way things were. And we’ll move back into the cities and suburbs, and life will go back to being normal. We’ll move into a nice house, we’ll get a dog and maybe even a cat, I’ll make sure you get that garden you always wanted. We’ll have neighbors we hate but we’ll invite them for barbecues and we’ll make cookies for everyone. We’re going to go all out for the holidays and everyone will remember us, the best  Halloween spooks and brightest Christmas displays. Maybe we’ll find a kid that needs us along the way or something. It’s going to be so boring and quiet, but it’s going to be amazing.”

“I love the sound of that,” your eyes were stinging with tears that you tried to blink back to no avail, “can I have that bay window in the kitchen and a little reading nook in our bedroom?” 

“You can have whatever you want, baby,” he promised and you knew that he meant it. Joel would do anything for you, just as you would do for him, “you name it and its yours.”

“As long as I have you, I’ve got everything I need,” you wiped at the tears that had pearled up and rolled down your cheeks before clearing your throat, “now give me your real answer…please.”

Joel paused, mulling over his words carefully as he tried to decide exactly what to say. But then he decided that he knew exactly what to say at that moment, “it doesn’t matter what my real answer is. I’m often wrong, as you love to remind me. Like I said, I’ll get you whatever you want. You want things back to how life used to be? Then that’s what it’ll be.”

“Ahh, you’re such a romantic,” you laughed sniffly before sitting up and moving your body so you were facing him, “never would have thought you were such a softie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he pretended to wave you off but you could see the lovely smile that was on his face, “you keep that to yourself, you hear me?”

“Of course, handsome,” you leaned and kissed him gently, letting your lips linger against his, “whatever you say.”

“Hey!” Ellie’s voice cut through whatever Joel was about to say as she waved her hand at you, “I found some makeup! Can we try it on?”

You exchanged an amused expression with Joel before you slid off the counter, “don’t open anything just yet! Wait for me, kiddo!”

Joel watched you go, his stomach churning with a flurry of emotions. If he thought it was even remotely possible to give you what you wanted, he would have done it in a heartbeat. For you and Ellie. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You startled awake, blinking away the bleariness from your eyes. It took a few moments to realize where you were; you were currently on an old display mattress, covered in old, soft, and clean packaged blankets. It almost felt as good as your bed from once upon a time. Joel’s arm was slung around your waist as he pulled you against his chest. You could hear him snoring softly; Ellie was on your other side, staring at the ceiling and holding onto a stuffed animal that she had found. She acted like she didn’t care about it, but you saw how affectionately she looked at it and hugged it to her chest. She’d never had a stuffed animal before. 

“What are you doing awake?” you whispered softly as she turned to you with a look of surprise on her face. You shushed her gently, smoothing her hair out of her face, “it’s okay…there’s a lot of times I can’t sleep either.”

“There’s way too much going on in this head,” she huffed as you grinned at her, “I don’t know how you guys do it all the time.”

“I don’t know either,” you admitted and the two of you shared soft laughs. Before you could say anything else, you heard a sound in the distance, at the other end of the store. You sat up immediately, gently pushing Joel’s arm off you. Ellie sensed your worry and followed suit as you looked around, your eyes slowly adjusting to the dim light, “we gotta keep it quiet right now.”

“I can do that,” she nodded nervously as she moved out of the bed so you could climb out as well. You grabbed your flashlight, gun, and knife off the floor, slowly padding towards the sound, keeping as quiet as possible. Ellie, sweet, stubborn Ellie, followed you, despite the fact that she hadn’t been invited. She would argue that she hadn’t been told to stay either, therefore she could come. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow but she only grinned, “I’ll watch your back.”

“Stay behind me and quiet,” you pleaded and she nodded. You thought about waking Joel up, but decided against it; it’d be easier to just solve this real quickly by yourself. 

You weaved your way through the aisles and display, eyes peeled for any sign of movement. Surprisingly, you didn’t hear the sound again and part of you wondered if you’d imagined it. You swallowed thickly as you looked at the door that led to the stairwell. It didn’t sound like anything was inside, but you wanted to conduct as thorough of a sweep as possible, so pushed the door open with your hip. 

The landing was dark but you didn’t see anything besides stacks of old boxes and some random pallets, “stay by the door, yeah? If anything comes or you hear anything, close it.”

“What if you’re…in there?”

“I can handle it,” you promised, “I learned from the best.”

You slowly descended down the stairs, letting the light guide you as you came across…nothing. Maybe you really had imagined it all, wanting something to go wrong. That was the doomsday brain talking; it was almost laughable. 

It was when you were about to go down the third set of stairs that you heard it again. And this time it was coming from above you; panic set into your bones. You turned around to run back up the stairs when you heard that unmistakable sound. 

“Shit,” you heard Ellie’s soft voice and your brain kicked into overdrive. You took the steps two at time until you made it back to the landing and heard the awful sound of the clicker. It was almost haunting as you saw it getting closer and closer to Ellie. 

“Get back, Ellie!” you shouted, reaching for the gun strapped to your thigh, “get back and close the door - now.”

“But you’ll be in here-”

“I can handle it! Go!” 

The girl managed to slip away, shutting the door behind her, leaving you with the clicker. It turned to you, screeching its horrible song at you, as the gun trembled in your hand. It started to lunge at you, and you panicked, taking a step back and missed the edge of the step, tumbling down the concrete until you landed at the bottom. 

“Fuck,” you hissed as you tried to pull yourself up. There was an immediate, intense pain in your ankle that caused you to hiss in pain. You tried not to freak out further, reminding yourself that the calmer you stayed, the better this would end. When you looked for the gun, you found that it was still at the top of the stairs, “fuck!”

It was all happening so fast, the clicker making his way down the stairs as you pulled your knife out of its sheath. Unfortunately, it was faster than you were and by the time you managed to pull out the knife with your shaking hands, you were almost in its grasp. 

You felt it happen before you could even do anything about it. 

But you managed to grab the knife and shoved it through its eye, causing it to fall limp and crumple to the floor. Your heart was beating so hard you were shocked it didn’t burst through your ribcage.

You dropped the knife and your hand went to your neck and you gasped at the feeling of your own blood. You pulled your hand away and looked at your fingers, frowning at the sticky red liquid that was all over them. You willed yourself not to panic as you shuffled your way back up the stairs as best as you could with your hurt ankle, grabbing the gun you had dropped. 

If only you hadn’t fucking dropped it. 

You collapsed in front of the door, sitting with your back next to it. You opened your mouth a few times, finding it impossible to get out the words without them being totally obscured by your cries, “Ellie Bean? Are you there?”

“Y-yes,” she replied after a moment, “a-are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.”

She already knew the answer. You cried, your entire body trembling as tears followed down your face, “I need you to get Joel and leave, okay? I know you’re tired, but you have to keep going. The two of you have each other - just go. Don’t look back and go forward. You can do this.”

“You’re c-coming with this. Right? Right?”

“Ellie,” you whispered, “get Joel and go. Go now and just keep going.”

“P-please don’t…”

But Ellie didn’t even have to turn around to fetch Joel. He was already standing there, an unreadable expression on his. 

“What the fuck happened?” Ellie couldn’t form words as she started to cry, wordlessly pointing at the door. Joel moved past the girl as he tried to step inside, but you blocked his way, “baby.”

“Joel,” he crouched down and hung his head, trying to keep it together, “just stay out there. Take Ellie and go.”

He put a shaking hand on the floor, emotion threatening to bring him to his knees, “what happened.”

You laughed softly, not at him, more so the entire universe. Fuck. He loved that sound more than anything; the idea that he’d never hear it again was enough to make his heart constrict. You desperately wanted to let him in, to get to hold him and kiss him one last time. But even though you had a little bit of time left, you weren’t willing to risk it, “we all have to go one way or another, right? A-at least I can go knowing I went for a good reason. Protecting Ellie.”

“Maybe we could…maybe…I can…” you heard the pain in his voice as he tried to keep it together, “I… let me in…please?”

“I don’t want you to see me like this,” you cried, biting the inside of your cheek, “I want the last time you saw me to be when we went to bed and you kissed me and held me. Give me that, yeah?”

“I can’t lose you,” he breathed shakily, “not you.”

“Joel,” he’d never hear you say his name again. The idea alone made him feel ill, “I love you so much, handsome. You’re gonna get Ellie where she needs to be. And she’ll help you too. You have each other and that’s enough.”

“I love you,” he choked, the words making your heart swell with joy. You knew Joel loved you, you’d always known, even if he hadn't put it into words before. Some things didn’t need to be said, “I love you.”

“Will you promise me something?” 

“Anything.”

“Get Ellie to safety, both of you to safety,” you noticed the gap under the door and realized it was just enough to slide your fingers under. You slid your hand through the gap as much as you could and you immediately felt his hand on top of yours, “and one day, when things go back to normal, you get that house with the bay window and reading nook and the dog and the garden and the nosey neighbors. Promise me?”

“I promise,” his voice was shaking as you closed your eyes, trying to picture that house in your mind.

“Will you plant daisies for me?”

“I’ll plant every daisy in this world for you.”

“It’ll be beautiful,” you grinned, even though he couldn’t see it, “and one more thing. You have to promise this to me, to Ellie, and to yourself. Don’t be afraid. Never be afraid.”

“I promise,” the crack in this tone made your heart ache, “I promise.”

“Good,” you gave his fingers a squeeze, “now go. Go and go and go until you get there.”

“I love you. Fuck baby, I love you.”

“I love you, Joel.”

It was a few minutes of quiet stillness, only the sound of your breathing and tears reaching your ears. Eventually he pulled his hand away and you could hear him standing up. Sobs wracked your body as you brought your knees to your chest and let it all out. 

Joel looked at Ellie and she wordlessly hugged him; he hugged her back tightly. 

“We should go,” she said so softly that he almost missed. He nodded, squeezing her just a little bit longer before letting go. 

She grabbed his hand as she started to pull him towards the little bed you’d made. It all felt so pointless now. The two of them worked in silence to gather their things to continue their journey. 

Your words were still rattling around in his head. Don’t be afraid.

A gunshot sounded off in the distance as Ellie and Joel walked down the escalator. He froze for a moment as Ellie squeezed his arm.

Don’t be afraid.

[softfem-dom]

paola // 20 // she ! her // spanish // aries MAIN MASTERLIST !!!

X MEN BOT LIST : (my proudest works 🫧)

og logan howlett [1,]NOTHING TO COME BACK TO -logan has the bad habit of disappearing for months to go on his solo missions. however, this time it seems like he almost had nothing to come back to. [tw : attempt]. [platonic!]. [2,]HIS CUB -logan presumed of having his 'animal instincts' under control, but all that big talk flies out of the window when some stupid guards try to harm his cubyou. [platonic!]. [3,]LIKE A CRYING BABY -everyone knows logan is not good with kids. But when you, the sweet thing that wasn't aware he regenerated, started bawling your eyes out for him, he realized he had a soft spot. [platonic!]. [4,]LIKE A WILD ANIMAL -when logan realized you had the same mutation as him, he pushed you away to ensure you wouldn't turn out like him. At the end, you ended up just like him just because he left when he was needed the most. Who's the dangerous weapon now, huh, Logan? [younger!reader / not strictly platonic] [5,]BAD TIME TO COME AROUND -logan just wants peace and quiet while his body recovers from a mission, but you're hurt too and just want to spend a bit of time with your fave old man. [platonic!]. [6,]GLITTERY LOVE 🫧-logan is a bitter old man, and you're a ray of sunshine. charles is totally aware of this and that's why he forced him to spend time with you as therapy for his burdened mind. [platonic! / sunshine!reader]. [7,]TEST TUBE BABY 🫧-both logan's and wade's DNA has gotten mixed up to create a brand new weapon x, you. Lucky you, one of your 'fathers' found you and now logan's stuck with cooparenting you. [platonic! / kinda daughter!reader]. [8,]CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT HER T-T-T-T-FACE 🫧-even as gruff as he is, logan is still just a man, and having a coworker with such nice titties is sure as hell distracting. [9,]MATING SEASSON KINDA STUFF -logan hates his animalistic instincts for putting him through this strange rut, but he definetely doesn't hate that you're the one taking care of him. [10,]FLYING PROBLEMS -logan and flying don't get on too well, and you're seated next to a far more grumpy and stressed than usual Wolverine when turbulences hit. [11,]LIKE STRAY CATS -a weapon-x war veteran and a child-supersoldier experiment. can they get along? [platonic!]. [12,]JUST. ONE. NORMAL. NIGHT -there hasn't been a calm night, a normal night, in your life ever since you joined the x-men. with a knock upon your door, you prepare yourself to another announcement for an emergency mission, only to be met by a restless logan that can't sleep. [13,]LITTLE TROUBLEMAKER -logan is always walking around with a cigar in his mouth and faking to be annoyed by everything. what will happen when he catches the certified comic relief troublemaker of the school running around past curfew? [platonic!].

+[14,]DADDY'S FARMHAND 🫧-cowboy!au. your father has hired someone to help him out in the farm and, of fucking course, it had to be this hot man that seems to take joy in the way your eyes wander whenever he's around.

[15,]KITTY CAT, KITTY CAT RUN 🫧-logan just woke up in a strange white room full of medical supplies, the last thing he remembers is getting attacked by some guys that were trying to bring him back to the lab. Believing he is back to be experimented on, he flees the scene, only to bump into somethingsomeone soft. And he doesn't even know what happened, but just at the scent of the mutant he collided into, his claws retracted instinctively and he felt a "mhrp"ing sound building at the back of his throath like the sound kitty cats make when they see something they like [16,]IRON DEFICIENCY PRINCESS 🫧-logan thought that being a part of the X-Men meant just going on missions whenever required, but it turns out that he's stuck playing the tired and concerned father figure of the girl with the lowest iron in the whole damn world. That and the fact he has to visit the infirmary at least twice a week to make sure you ain't dying after fainting while going up the stairs.

old man logan

[1,]ACHING BONES AND WARM HANDS 🫧-he's getting old and his bones are aching, but you're young and your mutation makes you run warmer, so.. how about you help your old man out, bub? [2,]OLD MAN WITH ANGER ISSUES -everyone has a different way of dealing with grief. while you're one to drown in it, logan burns with it, irremediably burning everyone in a close range due to his own anger. [platonic!].

worst wolverine

[1,]A JOKE TO HIM -when someone who isn't your wolverine discovers a you that isn't his you, thinks can go downhill very fast. especially when you've seemed to fail at everything his version of you had accomplished without a sweat. [platonic!]. [2,]WADE LIKES HIS MERCH 🫧-when, after the 'worst' version of logan moved into your appartment, you wake up in pyjamas you certainly didn't go to sleep with, you're forced to get out of your room with 'wolverine's babygirl' written on your ass. [3,]MOMMYPOOL -after falling into the void, logan discovers that maybe not all deadpool's are that bad. not when he's got the hottest one paying attention to him. [4,]THAT TIME OF THE MONTH -just logan realizing how much wade babies you when you're in that time of the month. +wade wilson [platonic!]. [5,]"I CALL DIBS ON THE KID!" -it seems that, while trapped between grumpy logan and yapper deadpool, you're not going to get any sleep at all during this flight.. +wade wilson [platonic!] [6,]"SORRY, MOMMY?" + "WADE STFU" -since sending wade and logan alone and togheter to a mission is the recipe for murder, they decided to send you to make sure they got the mission done instead of fighting all the time. +wade wilson [7,]GOD'S BEST JOKES -bascially the scene of the angry speech in the car, but instead of yelling at wade he's yelling at you (angst-oriented). [8,]GIRL INTERRUPTED SYNDROME -wade had rambled to logan about everything in his life, so logan is damn near confused as heck as to what the fuck is wade doing bringing inside a girl that looked pulled right out of the 'girl, interrupted' movie. [platonic!] [9,]DRUNKEN RUTS -logan can't remember going into a rut ever since his young days as a womanizer, trauma response he guessed. However now that he is in a safe place and surrounded by trusted people, he finds his first rut in decades hitting him like a train. what a sweet torture is to have you by his side through it.

wade wilson (earth-10005).

[1,]ROOKIE WITH A MOUTH -out of the whole X-Team, wade wilson seems to be the one that talks the most. a yapper, rambler, however you want to call it, he runs his mouth day and night. yet, there seems to be only one thing that shuts him up: you. [2,] ELEVATOR PROBLEMS 🫧-basically the elevator scene from xmen wolverine: origins, except instead of being stuck during a mission the whole team is stuck after one. You just all want to take a shower and crash on your bed, but you can still feel Wade oogling you while he runs his mouth. [3,] GUESS 🫧-nothing could've prepared you and the rest of your team for the wild ride Wade and his big mouth were going to throw you in. Seems like the rookie has been daydreaming about the colour of your panties when you catch him staring. [4,] CLOSER -Wade has a big problem with keeping it in his pants whenever he sees you fighting, maybe it's because you let him give you a ride into poundtown anytime he asks (just for the sake of shuting him up). But the way you've just squashed a dude's neck with your thighs has him wanting to fuck you like an animal. [4,] BRAT 🫧-if something is clear about the young mercenary in your team is that he is a brat. what will happen when William pairs you up with him and he starts messing up your plan just to get your attention?

[1,]HANLDE HIM 🫧-after weapon xi, probably the most dangerous experiment in the base, kills his handler. Your boss decides it's you who'll handle him. [2,]NOT JUST A WEAPON 🫧-after logan joined the school, he managed to convince charles of sending an 'expedition team' to the Project X base he escaped from. However, he is met by an old friend that was supposed to be dead and rotting, and that now is stuck to your side like the clingy merc he remembered him to be only.. less chatty.

wade wilson

[1,]SCAR FOR A SCAR -wade seems completely adamant on not showing you his face, while most of the people at the X-Mannor (colossus, negasonic, yukio, and even logan) have seen his face he refuses to let you see it. so, when you're now the one with nasty scars that you won't show him, he pulls an offer to the table "scar for a scar, eh, pumpkin?" [platonic!] [2,]PUSHED TO THE LIMITS (WOLVERINE #22) -after seeing with your own eyes the way wolverine dismembered deadpool to only half-chest and an arm, you the teen-age apprentice of deadpool, spend the whole next night watching him regenerate out of sheer anxiety. [platonic!] [3,]"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE KID SAW IT?!?" -deadpool 2. after waking up on the X-Mansion couch with colossus towering over him, wade finds out the one to ditch on him about blowing himself to pieces had been you. And now you're as traumatized by the stunt he pulled as to not want to leave your room. well, sucks. [platonic!] [4,]THAT TIME OF THE MONTH -just logan realizing how much wade babies you when you're in that time of the month. +logan howlett [platonic!]. [5,]"I CALL DIBS ON THE KID!" -it seems that, while trapped between grumpy logan and yapper deadpool, you're not going to get any sleep at all during this flight.. +logan howlett [platonic!] [6,]"SORRY, MOMMY?" + "WADE STFU" -since sending wade and logan alone and togheter to a mission is the recipe for murder, they decided to send you to make sure they got the mission done instead of fighting all the time. +logan howlett

+[7,]A SURPRISE VISIT -marvel future avengers oriented. after getting attached to you since you'd always open the door of the tower for him so he didn't have to break a sweat in avoiding the security system, deadpool comes to ring the door once again only to be met with iron man instead of you. [tw: attempt] [platonic!]

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

part two

pairing: (future) james potter x black sister!reader, regulus black x sister!reader

genre: angst with like maybe a little fluff?

el's thoughts: this is part two! hope yall enjoy! part three is in the works, i promise!!

main masterlist | regulus masterlist

“What do you mean you just spoke.”

Y/N groaned and threw her head down into her hands. She and Pandora sat under a large tree by the Black Lake. “What more can I say to simplify it?”

“Sorry, sorry. I just-” The blonde girl shook her head with a dazed smile. “I’m happy for you.”

“It was nothing to get happy about.” Y/N snapped, earning a barely scolding look from her approaching brother, causing her to mutter an apology. “It was just strange, that’s all.” 

Pandora sighed and laid back against the soft grass. “Hi, Regulus.”

“Pandora,” He hummed in greeting as he lowered himself beside Y/N, giving her a gentle yet tired smile. 

“How was your day?” Y/N asked.

“Far too long for my preference, if I were to be honest.”

Y/N chuckled, “I agree.”

The silence fell among the trio as they stared into the Black Lake for a few long moments before their peace was disrupted. The Marauders crashed through their little haven like a twister. James and Sirius raced to the water’s edge while Peter attempted to keep up and Remus strolled behind the group, reading his book. 

Both Black siblings rolled their eyes at the sight of the boisterous boys. 

“For Salzar’s sake.” Y/N cursed under her breath. “I think I’ll head back now.”

Pandora sat up with a frown molding her lips. “Oh, don’t let them spoil your evening, Y/N/N.”

She shook her head stiffly as she knotted her hair up with her wand. “It’s almost dinner anyway, I’ll save you both seats.”

Y/N started her trek up the small hill back to the castle, passing Remus where he sat with his nose buried in his book. He looked up causing the two to share a courteous nod with no words exchanged other than the polite mumble of the other’s name. 

“Oh c’mon! We’re brothers! Don’t do it!”

Her attention was yanked back to her eldest brother and his friend as they playfully fought, still by the water’s edge. James seemed to have been able to pick Sirius up, but he threatened to throw him into the lake. The sight caused tears to sting the back of her eyes as she never got to see her brothers jest around like the pair in front of her. 

‘What a cruel and unfair world.’ She thought to herself as she continued her walk up to the castle. 

~

The following morning went as normal. Y/N sat with the others at the Slytherin table, picking at the breakfast foods in front of her. Owls soon flooded the Great Hall and dropped letters and packages off to different students. First years students got care packages from their parents and long letters from their worried mothers and carrying fathers. Regulus and Y/N got a shared letter from their mother, and the pair shared a drained look. 

“Just what I needed.” Y/N rolled her eyes while she fed her owl some treats. 

Pandora looked between the two Black siblings with pitiful eyes. 

Barty placed a hand on Y/N’s shoulder and shook her around a bit. “Don’t stress it too much, Little Black. Just finish your dinner before you open it.” 

She only responded with a subtle nod as she made eye contact with a certain messy-haired Gryffindor. James watched her from across the dining hall with a creeping concern when he noticed the two letters drop in front of her and her brother. 

“Who’re you lookin’ at?” Sirius asked as he leaned over to see what James was staring at and quickly side-eyed him sharply. “What do you want with them?”

“Nothing, sod off.” James shoved him gently. “Eat your food.”

Across the hall, Y/N had opened her letter and read it quickly. She looked up to see Regulus’ eyes already on her, she shook her head and fought back tears. Her mother had done it again. She pushed herself up from the bench and rushed out of the dining hall.

In the meantime, Remus eyed James and looked back to Y/N as she left the hall but he didn’t express his thoughts. He had no reason to hate the Black twins but knew better than to get friendly with them for Sirius’ sake, but that never stopped him from carrying a cordial conversation with either of them. It wasn’t a secret that the twins had it rough back home—if you could even call it that. He was truly amazed by the talent each Black sibling performed with ease. They had perfected their masks. Unless you knew more than their family name, you would never know the terrors they have seen, except for now.

Within recent months, Y/N’s long-since-perfected mask had begun to slip. Shaking hands and stiff posture were only among the smaller signs. Her sudden bursts of anger would catch any passerby off guard as her friends and brother tried to do some damage control. Everyone at school can see the difference in her, but no one would know the cause of it. But one thing for sure is that she wasn’t Slytherin’s little princess anymore.

~

Y/N paced barefoot in front of Regulus’ room in the Black Manor. The winter holidays came upon the students of Hogwarts faster than expected this year much to Y/N’s demise. Her mother’s voice could be heard from downstairs as it echoed through the cold house despite the late hours of the night. 

Grimuald place had seemed magical to Y/N when she was a child. Running around with her brothers and always finding new hiding places. Only when they all got older did the squeals of children playing turn into screams of agony. Now the rooms they used to play hide and seek were haunted by memories of Sirius curled up on the floor begging his mother to stop.

The nearly silent creek of a door opening startled Y/N from her thoughts as she turned around to face her brother.

Regulus eyed her carefully in suspicion. “What are you doing up?”

“I-I came to come see you. Why are you up?”

“I was going to the loo. Are you okay, Y/N/N?”

Y/N’s eyes teared up at the question and she instantly avoided eye contact. Regulus sighed in pity for his sister knew what had kept her up till now. He took her into his arms and walked her to his bed, guiding her to lie down as he tucked her in under his sheets. 

“I’ll be back.”

She didn’t respond, only gave him a nod as she pulled the comforter up closer to her chin. A few minutes passed before Regulus returned to the room and shut the door behind him. He climbed onto the other side of the bed and pulled the sheets over him.

“You better not steal all the blankets again. If you do I’m putting you back in your room.”

Y/N giggled and turned to face him, holding an extra pillow to her chest. “That’d be more work for you than me.”

She could feel him roll his eyes at her before a comfortable silence settled over them. 

Just before Regulus was about to fall back to sleep, he felt Y/N shift under the bedding. He tried to ignore it for a moment until it was too much. He sighed aloud, “What’s wrong.”

“We should run away.” Y/N didn’t skip a beat, catching him off guard. 

“What?”

Y/N reached over him causing him to groan when her elbow dug into his stomach. 

“We should run away. It worked for Sirius, why wouldn’t it work for us?”

“It worked for Sirius because we were still here. We are still here. Plus, where would we run to that mother and father wouldn’t find us?”

She paused for a moment, thinking through just how wise it would be to voice her thoughts. “I have a small idea… But I’m not sure you’ll approve. I’m not even sure I approve.”

Regulus eyed her skeptically, “Y/N?”

“The Potters.”

[poppadom0912]

Hii! 🙋🏻‍♀️

I saw that you are accepting requests, can I request an imagine with Jay Halstead where he and the reader (a surgeon) don't get along very well and, as fate would have it, they both live in the same building. One night the reader discovers that there is a camera hidden in the lampshade that she got from a strange guy, so the guy threatens her and Jay protects her. 😅❤️

Sorry for my English.

Warnings: Stalking/pedo men, brief hospitals, small injuries, and swearing.

A/N: Now that my series is done, I can finally get to completing and putting out all these requests. I wrote this in school. And do not apologise for your English, it was perfect.

Life is stressful right now so I lowkey got carried away writing this because it's somehow nearly 3k words but please do enjoy this!!

You weren’t too sure when it all actually started but it was too late to reverse time now.

Growing up, there was no way to avoid the Halstead brothers because all the way throughout your childhood up until the age of eighteen, you all went to school together and outside, your mothers were near inseparable. You could never catch a break.

What made matters even more confusing was that you didn’t mind Will, on fact, the two of you were quite good friends. You tolerated Will and with both your combined loves for medicine, an inevitable friendship bloomed but even with this, you and Jay just could not get along.

The only time you ever found solace was when the two of you finally parted ways after high school. You remained in Chicago to become a doctor and later surgeon while Jay, he spontaneously decided to enrol to become an army ranger. Your shock could not be hidden.

With both brothers out your life, days were so much more simple. From time to time, you wouldn’t say it aloud but you missed Wil’s company but Jay, his absence almost made it as though he never existed in the first place. And yes, maybe that was a bit cruel but the genuine hatred you had at the mere thought of him or the sight of his face, it made you want to hurl.

And the rest was history. Even with the more recent parts being a bit more pleasant yet depressive, your pure hatred for him didn’t seem to wane.

*****

Fast forward a few years and this is how it all is: your father remained ever so absent, both mothers passed away several years ago, Pat died last year, you and Will worked together and you and Jay weren’t exactly civil.

Living in the same building, on the exact same floor and literal doors apart could only do so much damage.

Today had been a very, very long day. You had just been on shift for a double that had run over because of the complicated surgery that almost went sideways last minute. You were practically dead on your feet. You loved trauma surgery as much as the next trauma surgeon but you could go without blood and scalpels for the next few hours because sleep was calling your name like a siren song.

Upon Connor’s insistence, he drove you home because he expressed his fear of you sleeping on the train and never getting off.

Finally in your apartment building, you dragged your feet to your door, your keys almost missing the hole due to your sudden misalignment. Your mind was nearing haziness but with one final push, you were inside and collapsed on your bed.

Sleep was instant. It was expected but you also weren’t surprised when you knocked out and woke up randomly at two in the morning. You felt semi-rejuvenated but you could definitely sleep for longer.

Drowsily, you stripped out of your clothes, chucking them towards the basket before walking into the bathroom. Doing what you needed to do, you returned and searched for comfortable pyjamas that were good enough for this heat.

Standing half naked in your own bedroom in the apartment that you rented alone was a completely normal thing to do. Never in your life did you need to be paranoid or extra careful. You were in the comfort of your own home, so why was there the need to be riddled with anxiety.

Well, apparently you should’ve because as you pulled you cotton shorts on, rummaging through your draw for an oversized shirt, you caught a miniscule red dot. You were so tired you contemplated if it was a hallucination but a few minutes later, remaining in the same position, the nano dot was still there.

Diverting your attention to the suspicious dot, you threw on a random shirt but somehow, during the milliseconds your head spent under the shirt before it reappeared, the red dot disappeared.

Now you were on edge. Sleep didn’t come as easy this time.

In the morning, everything looked the same. Going around, you tried to look for anything that could’ve been tampered with but alas, everything was in tip top condition. Maybe you really were so out of that that you were delusional, it all really could’ve been a hallucination.

You had a few more hours before you needed to go back to work and considering the state of your empty fridge, grocery shopping seemed like a promising idea.

Your sweetening mood however quickly turned sour at the familiar sight of a certain detective standing down the hallway, walking in the same direction as you towards the buildings only elevator.

Sighing in disappointment, you readjusted the tote bag on your shoulders and walked ahead anyway. There was no way you were letting this man ruin your mood.

Being stuck in the elevator though, it did ruin your mood a little.

For once in your entire life though, Jay didn’t rile you up. He didn’t say anything nor did he even attempt to roll his eyes when he saw you. It was weird, he barely even acknowledged you.

And you hated to admit it, but you didn’t like it. As much as you despised the man, Jay acting as if you were a ghost was something that irked you. But obviously, you were never going to tell him that, it’d only boost his already enormous ego.

*****

“You look like a rat.”

“Ha ha, you’re so funny.”

You took it all back. Everything you said two days ago, you were taking it all back. Jay could rot and burn in hell and you still wouldn’t care.

Over the course of twelve hours, something must’ve changed because Jay’s renewed vigour was back and it was here to stay. You didn’t relish his silence long enough because the second he opened his mouth, your headache returned.

Next time, you were dragging Will and forcing him to escort you up to your apartment door because at least then he’d save you, he’d make this all much more bearable.

The sudden change in weather suited your mood, the rain mimicking your emotions that Jay was only half responsible for. The other half was a result of your newly achieved paranoia and anxiety that made itself known whenever you came home.

No matter where you searched or how many hours you slept, the red dot came and then disappeared again. It was annoying and it came to the point that you tried avoiding you bedroom especially as much as possible. To not be comfortable and safe in your own home wasn’t right.

Rolling your eyes, you fished your keys out of your bag and ignored whatever Jay was saying. You’d known him for so long that blocking out his voice had become second nature, it was something you did subconsciously.

You wished his apartment was before yours, that way at least you could have some peace but life worked in funny ways.

Stopping in front of your door, you were just about to unlock it when your body froze.

“What’s wrong?”

The sudden change in your mood caught him off guard, your frozen body worrying him slightly. He might’ve shared your feelings of hostility but you were his older brothers best friend, which had to count for something.

Following your line of sight, Jay’s eyes hardened at the unlocked door, a slither of light leaking out from inside as the door sat ajar. You definitely locked it this morning, there was no doubt about it.

Maybe you had the right to be paranoid. Perhaps you should’ve acted on it sooner.

Not wasting another second, Jay pushed you behind him and drew his gun. With his shoe, he gently nudged the door open and began surveying the apartment bit by bit with practised precision.

You hadn’t seen the man in action for a while now, it was weird to see him so proper and serious.

With nothing out of place and all valuable belongings safe and sound, Jay deduced that for now, things should be fine but if need be, if anything was out of the ordinary, he was the first person you called.

And for the first time ever in over thirty years, you made Jay a promise.

*****

You kept to your promise. This was a matter you weren’t going to mess around with, even if it was with Jay.

You had just come out of the shower, hair dripping wet, shorts and an oversized shirt on because despite the rain it was still humid and the summer heat wasn’t going away anytime soon.

Stepping into the dark room, you started patting your hair dry with a towel and walked towards the lamp so there was at least some lighting. A dimly lit room made you feel less paranoid.

It was upon turning the lamp on though did your anxiety peak. This new height it reached making it hard for you to breathe all of a sudden.

Without even thinking of the consequences, Jay’s number was the first thing you found on your phone, his contact name pressed within seconds of your discovery.

Heart pounding out of your chest, you forced yourself to move at the sound of the door. This fear was almost paralysing, you didn’t even know what to make of all of it.

“What happened?” Jay’s concern was immediate. All you did was call him and he came over without question. Your call alone told him enough.

You stared at him wide eyed, words lodged at the back of your throat but they wouldn’t go any further than that. Remaining wordless, you simply grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards your room and he followed obediently.

Your bedroom was now back to pitch black; you turned the lamp off straight away because the pyjamas you wore left little for imagination. That trail of thought made you want to be sick.

Jay stood beside you; your hand still wrapped around his wrist tightly while your other still held the wet hair towel that you probably should put away. He surveyed the dark room, taking it all in and trying to poke out anything out of the ordinary.

It was only when you tugged on his wrist, his head turning down to you before following your line of sight and pointed finger towards your innocent looking lamp that idly sat on your bedside table.

But it turned out to be not so innocent after all. Jay immediately saw the red dot no matter its small size, he saw it straight away and alarm bells went off.

Gently prying your fingers off his wrist, Jay holstered his gun and strode towards the lamp, tilting the lamp shade as he fiddled with something underneath. It didn’t take long before he stood up to his full height with a small black square in his palm.

This all-escalated way too fast for your liking.

*****

Jay refused to let you see anything from what he told you was a camera; he wouldn’t let you see it even for a price but he did briefly talk about what he saw in very little detail. What he told you was more than enough to make you want to bleach your body in a bath and move out of state to a place no one would know you.

Jay also wasn’t one hundred percent confident in letting you return back to your apartment alone. That’s how you found yourself wrapped in a blanket sitting cross-legged on his sofa, hiding yourself and your body from the world. Even with your shirt and shorts on, you felt liked dying at the thought of a man staring you down with intentions all but pure.

Gosh, you wanted to be sick.

Slowly sipping some water from a cup Jay silently handed you, you tried relaxing, rotating your shoulders to try release any of the tension but you failed. Fidgeting with anything was the only way you were able to not focus on the conversation Jay was having on the phone in the next room over. He was probably most likely talking to someone else from Intelligence.

The rest of the night, well more very early morning really, Jay explained the plan about how Intelligence were going to go about this but it would all happen in the morning at an actual suitable time.

With much bickering, Jay forced you into his bed as he took the sofa. It was weird that this was the most civil and even most nicest interaction the two of you ever had in either of your lifetimes. You wouldn’t tell him this unless under a life-or-death situation, but you kind’ve liked it. When Jay wasn’t being such a bastard, he was actually kind of decent.

Goodness, thinking about him was not something you would’ve ever thought of doing before yet here you were, thinking about your childhood nemesis at work.

The morning was relatively fine sprinkled with bits of awkwardness. Jay forcefully drove you to work when you insisted on going in today despite his attempts of getting you to stay home. If you tried and told Ms Goodwin the truth, she was very likely to give you the day off. Your stubbornness didn’t wane though.

You shift was normal, going from boring and mundane to fast paced just how you liked it. Nothing changed and it was relieving to be surrounded by familiarity and some sort of routine, it was a big distraction from the mess waiting for you at home. You tried keeping yourself occupied at every moment because any second you got alone with your deprecating thoughts, you were for sure going to spiral to a dark place.

And you’d been doing a great job at keeping busy till a certain detective walked in through the ED doors.

From the corner of your eyes, nothing about him looked off but when you squinted and walked towards him, you could make out a bloody gash poking out from his ripped jacket sleeve.

Now, Jay being hurt at work was nothing new. In fact, it was to be expected and you’d never been too bothered by it unlike Will was whenever his injured brother walked in so casually like it was another normal Wednesday.

However, you knew what he was doing at work today and your concerns peaked to such a height that Will had no reason to be worried anymore; you took it all from him.

“What happened?” You tried to remain somewhat calm, schooling your face as you dragged his non-injured arm towards an empty treatment room. Internally, you were glad Will was in surgery otherwise he’d be smirking and laughing like a manic at the sight he was seeing, a sight he’d never even envision in his dreams.

“We found the guy.” Jay ignored your question, begrudgingly sitting down on the bed, rolling his eyes when you wouldn’t let him get up. “We arrested him. Platt’s booking him as we speak.”

And just like that, all the weights pushing you down under the ground dissipated and you were beyond relieved.

You hands faltered as they went to grab some gauze, your eyes looking up to see whether or not he was lying but the soft smile spread across his lips, you didn’t need to question his credibility.

Without thinking, your arms wrapped around his shoulders and interlocked around his neck. Instinctively, you squeezed him a little, eyes shut as you relished in the good news. For a while, the world around you didn’t exist before it all came rushing back.

Suddenly, you abruptly pulled back, eyes wide in shock as your actions sunk in. Pressing your lips together tightly, you avoided eye contact and went back to preparing the gauze and butterfly strips, maybe even some wipes to see the real extent of the damage your stalker inflicted onto Jay.

Jay huffed in amusement and you could feel his eyes burning into the side of your head. All of a sudden, you felt the need to smother his god forsaken handsome face-

What the fuck? There was no way you just thought that.

“He looks worse than me, don’t worry.” Jay started again, a smug smirk on his face as he spoke, his eyes not moving from your face. “He was being a bit of a dick so I roughed him up a little. This little nick is nothing.”

And for once, you didn’t doubt the truth behind his words. You fondly rolled your eyes before going to clean his bicep that was no longer covered by his jacket.

“My saviour.” You smiled placatingly, making brief eye contact before breaking it. “What would I have done without you.”

And for once again, there was no sarcasm dripping from your words. Behind them lay mostly the truth and maybe a hint of your typically sarcasm but without his help, who knows what would’ve happened.

“All in a days work.” Jay’s face didn’t change, his expression not moving a single bit. For a reason beyond your medical and surgical knowledge, you blushed, cheeks randomly feeling flushed.

Maybe now with childhood rivalry forgotten and shoved aside, things between the two of you could get better.

[myosotisa]

Chasm - e.m.

Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

‖  summary: You're a researcher working at one of the fault lines throughout Hawkins, studying the closed and dormant gates to an alternate dimension. While you're alone on site, one of the gates wakes up again.

‖  tags: horror. i cannot stress this enough. this is unsettling and creepy and angsty with slight sexual tension. in line with the content in the show. post season 4, canon compliant. emetophobia warning. dubcon kissing. forced consumption (writing it made me gag just warning you. but im also kind of a baby so). no y/n, she/her pronouns used. flayed!eddie infects you. open ended ending. also steve is there sometimes. there's a ton of background lore that is only vaguely explained lol

‖  word count: 8.3k ‖  read on AO3 ‖  the song ‖

None of the rifts have shown any activity in over a year. Months and months of dead readings and no signals. Just waiting.

So what's a girl supposed to do when your EMF meter spikes alone on site? Sit around and wait for a crew to suit up and march their way over to the fault you were at? No fucking way. No chance.

You report in about the sudden spike in gamma radiation and tell them you're going to find the source. The project lead tells you to stay put and wait for assistance, as expected.

Your radiation gear was already halfway on. Oops, sorry boss, didn't hear you.

Handheld voltage meter in one hand, audio recorder in the other, and a pocket full of glow sticks, you push out past the plastic tarps and into the humid night air of Indiana summer.

The readings bring you west, toward the condemned trailer park and the "start" of your fault line. You crack a glow stick and drop it every few feet, marking your path. When the reading jumps up, you make a '+' sign with two at the spot before continuing forward. It was hard to say without exact measurements, but it seemed to be increasing at equal intervals. Like frozen waves on the surface of water.

"I'm approaching the Forest Hills sign," you say into the receiver, your own voice the only sound in the night air. "Current readings are…" You bring the meter up, using the light hanging from your neck to read the display. "Approaching 70 mv/m of high frequency radiation, roughly 31016 Hz. The next… 'Layer', for lack of a better term, will most likely breach Safe EMF levels, not considering the potential protection of the suit."

Lowering the meter again when it gives a beep of warning, you tuck it under your arm and crack another glow stick, leaving a '+' at the boundary to the trailer park. "I'll probably need treatment when I get back to base – as long as I grab a reading from the source and get out quickly, there won't be lasting damage. You hear that, Dr. Pierce?" You say through an over-confident huff, readjusting your arms to keep moving forward. "I'm well aware of the risks and take responsibility for my own actions."

The park itself looks like a bad dream at night – trailers abandoned hastily with doors still hung open and belongings scattered along the ground. Between the sudden fault opening and the bureau rushing in, the existing residents had been given very little time and grace to move into temporary housing across town. And it looked every bit like an entire community of people had just up and disappeared.

The suit you were in didn’t exactly help coordination, so you moved slowly and carefully over and around discarded objects along the dirt. Clothing, kitchen utensils, a quilt, a stack of newspapers, a child's toy. All left untouched for over a year.

Clearing the corner of one of the empty trailers, you catch sight of something strange.

“The fault itself has looked normal up to this point, no activity. But I can see the source now. It’s… It appears to be glowing red, fading in and out in a constant cycle.” Approaching even slower than before, you watch intently as the glow grows and then retreats again. Like waves on the shore.

The meter gives another shrill alarm – making you jump nearly out of your skin as you swat at it with the recorder. “Jesus Christ!” It quiets with a sinking pitch in your hand. 

Before checking the reading, you quickly make another ‘+’ with glow sticks, digging them into the dirt a bit in an attempt to keep them from moving. Still down on one knee, you bring the meter up to your flashlight again.

“The meter is now reading 110 mv/m, same frequency. I’m roughly… 12 feet out from the source now. There’s a, uh, humming sound. Not sure if the recording is picking it up. And feeling pressure on my eardrums,” you explain into the device, eyes locked on the glow ahead. “I’ll continue to approach – see if I can get a closer reading. If it jumps above 150, I’ll fall back.”

Pushing to your feet again with a huff, you readjust your full load and press forward slowly. The closer you get to the source, you can see that the fault rapidly grows in size. The space between the edges looks large enough to fit a car as it rounds out at the end – a red pond in the ground.

“I can see the source clearer now. The glow is coming from within – there’s a…" You take a few steps closer, squinting to get a better look. "It appears to be an opaque membrane covering the space between. The glow is coming from behind it. Still cycling at an even rate, no change.”

The meter in your hand gives its shrillest warning yet, scaring you badly enough that it goes flying out of your hand; it hits the ground and flips closer to the edge. “Shit, fuck!”

You shuffle forward and drop down onto your shaky knees, grabbing for the meter as it continues to let out that grating alarm into the night air. Smacking it once more, the sound cuts off abruptly, giving you a chance to breathe.

Bringing it up to your flashlight, your eyes go wide as you lift the recorder again with your other trembling hand. “I’m nearly at the edge now, only a foot or so away  – EMF reading 187 mv/m. Rapid increase from the last point.”

Movement in your peripheral vision catches your attention, your head snapping toward it.

“There’s… What the fuck?" You pause, tempted to rub your eyes to make sure you're really seeing what you're seeing.

"There’s movement below the membrane. It… It’s just a shadow, I can’t tell what it is, but the movement is rapid and the… The humming is getting louder.” Your heart is pounding now, a cold sweat breaking out across your skin beneath the suit. 

“Going to retreat back to base,” you say, mostly attempting to reassure yourself as you slowly back away from the edge. “Final reading was 189 mv/m at 31016 Hz.”

There’s a crackle of static right before a thumb presses the pause button roughly, silencing the recorder in the center of the table.

“Is that all?” General Richard Highland asks, sounding impatient as he leans back in his conference chair. “That doesn’t tell us anything about what happened to her.”

“No, sir, there’s more.” Private Steve Harrington insists, inclining his head toward the dirty recorder he had delivered. He’s standing by the edge of the table at attention, hands clasped in front of him.  “The recording keeps going.”

Dr. Pierce leans forward from his seat, giving the General a stiff look as he presses the play button again.

There’s a few more moments of static before the woman’s voice fades back in, layered beneath the hum of attempted interference.

“I’m definitely gonna need that rad treatment, Dr. Pierce. My badge is that warning color, even beneath the suit,” she continues with a shaky laugh, the sound of plastic shuffling behind it. “Hopefully I don’t lose my hair or something, but that’s… What?” 

The table of scientists and military personnel sits in tense silence as her voice cuts out again. Half of them are on the edge of their seats, the others showing off a measured calm or disinterest. The general looks particularly annoyed and impatient, while Dr. Pierce looks almost like he wants to throw up.

“There’s… Something’s happening – I don’t–” 

An abrasive crackle echoes out into the room, loud enough to send nearly everyone into a wince, before the recording cuts back in with the sound of screaming. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?! SHIT – I’ve gotta get–" A burst of interference sounds, followed by a metallic grating, like a ship groaning beneath the weight of the ocean.

Her panicked voice comes through, sounding further away than before. "FUCK! It – It’s got my ankle. Let go, you fucking piece of –! SHI–”

The recording cuts out to a buzzing hum.

No one moves for a few moments. Not until Private Harrington steps up to silence the recorder. “We found this recording, a lab issue EMF meter, and a broken flashlight at the edge of the fault." He explains, producing the other two items from the pack resting at his feet. "It was dormant when we got there – solid again.”

“So it just…” One of the other scientists starts, looking at Dr. Pierce uneasily.

“Dragged her through and went back to sleep.” Dr. Pierce confirms solemnly, his gaze locked on the dirty recorder.

“It’s never done this before?” A 2nd scientist, new to the project, asks. The others shake their heads. “So what do we do?”

All eyes turn to Dr. Pierce, who looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“We wait for it to wake up again.”

Wake up.

Come on, little lamb.

Wake up now.

Looks so peaceful.

But you’ve got to wake up.

…

WAKE UP.

There’s something wet on your face.

Feeling is slowly returning to your body, your eyes closed and too heavy to open. But there’s something dripping on your cheek – droplets running down toward your mouth. Sticking to your dry lips for a moment or two before falling off. You’re on the ground on your stomach, your cheek squished against something that feels like mud.

Your brain has yet to kick on fully as it tries to regain consciousness through a pounding ache, resonating with the throb of your left leg. It feels like you’re still wearing the rad suit, but the head piece is gone and it might be ripped in places – mud seeping in to touch your skin.

It’s almost like you’re sinking.

Eyelids fluttering open and you’re faced with a desaturated swamp. Like someone came through and sucked half the color out of it.

Lifting one arm is difficult, suctioned into the mud you’re laying in. Once you’ve freed it enough, you’re able to push off the sticky, wet sludge beneath you enough to roll over onto your back.

“Sucks, doesn’t it?”

You sit up with a start, your abdomen screaming in protest as your brain swims. Blinking through the blur in your eyes, you struggle to see anything at all in the dark – only momentarily granted sight by the flashes of red lightning overhead.

“Who’s there?” You call out into the dark, an attempt to sound brave, but your voice trembles as your eyes rapidly flit back and forth.

“Over here.”

The lightning flashes once more as you whip your head toward the voice – showing the silhouette of a man standing a few feet away. From what little you see, he’s tall and slender, head tilted to the side like he’s curious. There’s no chance you can see his face or anything else about him.

Until he’s in your face, crouched down right beside you – crossing the space and appearing in the span of a blink. It gives you a start, attempting to back up but getting caught up in the mud still suctioned to your lower half.

Your fear seems to bring a small smile to his face, plump lips tilting up at the corner. He looks so familiar… Long curly hair draped wetly over his shoulders, the sparse bangs across his forehead, and the soft turn of his nose. Curiosity gets the better of you as you lean in again slightly, squinting your eyes a bit more in the dark to see him better.

“I know you…” You insist softly, causing his eyebrows to raise slightly in surprise. “How do I know you?”

“No clue, because I’ve never met you in my life.” He replies, lips parting in a grin. “And I’m good with faces – ‘specially pretty ones.”

His response catches you off guard as your brain continues reeling and struggling to intake information, which is normally your forte. There’s a million questions on the tip of your tongue and you have no idea where to start.

“You’ll probably need to lose the suit if you want to get out of that shit,” he continues when you don’t respond, motioning to your stationary legs with a wave of his hand. And he’s probably right, with the way the mud beneath you is stuck tight to the shiny plastic. Your best hope is to try to use the suit as a stepping off point to get to stable ground.

“Where should I step once I pull out?” You ask, hoping he’ll understand your goal.

A blink and he’s gone again – another flash of red light placing his silhouette off to your left. “Think you can make it to here?” He responds, voice raised slightly and sounding like he’s teasing you or challenging you. It makes your competitive side flare up on instinct – a frustrated huff leaving your nose as you plan your escape.

Opening the front of the suit, you slip both arms out and let the upper half fall flat behind you. Pulling out both of your legs next, your butt sinks deeper into the ground, nearly sending you off balance as you quickly shift your weight forward onto your knees, using the suit as a stepping stone. It starts to sink, mud coming up over the edge and inching toward your knees, so you have to move fast.

Pushing to your feet makes it sink faster, wet sludge touching the side of your ankle just as you push off in a jump toward where the man was standing.

You land on the ankle that had been grasped by the tentacle, not realizing the throbbing meant it’d been twisted. It makes you cry out in pain and fall forward, directly into the man’s chest.

“Woah there!” He says in surprise, grasping onto your elbows to keep you sort of upright. Between the aching pain and the tears pressing at your eyes, you just barely manage to notice how cold and clammy he is – especially where his hands grip your bare biceps.

Rocketing back, you press your weight onto your good leg and put some distance between the two of you again, your dirty arms crossing over your tank top and smearing it with mud. “Sorry, my, uh, ankle…” You offer awkwardly, still not even sure who you’re talking to.

“Don’t worry about it, angel. You good?”

He actually sounds like he cares. Like he’s concerned for you. Who is he? 

“I’ll be fine,” you insist stubbornly, swallowing down the lump of tears in your throat. Free from your precarious situation, at least partially, you struggle to figure out what to address first. “How are you doing that? Like… Teleporting? Or are you just moving really fast?”

He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “What–,” he disappears in a blink and then you feel a burst of air on the back of your neck, making your hair stand on end, “this?”

You lurch forward before turning around to level him a glare. “Yes, that – don’t do that.”

His hands tuck into the front pockets of the leather jacket he’s wearing as he shrugs, looking quite pleased with himself. “Sorry, angel, didn’t mean to spook you.”

Then silence falls, both of you eyeing each other – you suspiciously and him curiously. The extended pause makes you think you aren’t going to be told how anytime soon.

A breeze kicks up, rustling the branches of the trees in the surrounding swampland and sending a shiver down your spine. Suit lost, you’re down to a tank top, jeans, and a pair of no slip shoes (which were required for people working in the field for some reason). You were dressed for the humid interior of the field site tent in summer and it appears that you have landed yourself in a place where that is not enough.

Taking advantage of the silence, you try to remember everything you can about your studies into the ‘gates’ from when they were open. Very little was known beside second hand accounts and old data – some of which may not even be accurate anymore given the nature of the fault lines. If there was anywhere to start, it would be trying to find the gate you’d been dragged through.

With any luck, you could go right back to your dimension.

But that didn’t account for him. The pale, wet, unsettling-yet-somehow-charming guy that was still staring right at you.

“How long have you been here? Do you know?” You question cautiously, not wanting to upset him in any way.

“That depends, what year is it?”

Your heart drops into your stomach, completely at odds with the continued grin on his face. It looks almost manic now – like every time he sets you off balance brings him great joy. Deciding you’d actually rather not know how long he’s been in here, you move on.

“Have you been alone this whole time? Or are there other people here?”

His grin spreads, like he’s in on a joke you’re not aware of. “I haven’t been alone, no.”

This piques your curiosity again, adjusting your weight on your good leg. “Do you have a community here? How many of you are there?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” He suggests, taking a step or two away from you, his hands still tucked into his pockets.

The idea is tempting, if only to learn more about what is going on here, but there’s something nagging at the back of your mind. Something you should be remembering. Something you’re missing. Plus, for all you know, this man does not have your best interests at heart.

“I should probably try to find the gate that brought me here,” you say, slightly regretfully. “See if I can cross back over.”

“Oh, right,” he responds, tapping his forehead with his palm like it should’ve been obvious. “Yeah, I can show you the way.”

This surprises you again, slight concern causing you to stand up straighter. “You can?”

“Sure thing, the closest one isn’t far,” he motions behind him with a tilt of his chin, taking another step back. “Come on.”

So you follow the strange man into the dark, limping after him on your twisted ankle. The mud starts to dry on your skin, hair, and clothing – crusting over and hardening in places. You pick at pieces as you walk, letting the chunks and flakes fall to the ground behind you. From what little you can see, there are vines everywhere along the ground, weaving between tree trunks and layering over each other in place. The man seems to step over them – and you can’t tell if it’s on purpose or a coincidence – but you make a habit of not touching the vines just in case.

It’s unsettlingly quiet here. Every once in a while you’ll hear what sounds like an animal – a howl, a chittering, the thump of feet on the earth. But they are few and far between, leaving mostly just the rush of wind through the trees and a sort of muffled silence, pressure on your ears.

Your paranoia kicks up as the quiet continues, suspiciously eyeing the back of your escort as he leads you forward. For all you knew, he wasn’t leading you anywhere near the gate. You have no reason to trust him beyond the fact that he helped you get out of the sludge you woke up in. He was in this dimension after all, clearly familiar with it. That had to be a red flag if anything, given what little you actually knew about it.

So much was classified beyond your reach – the bureau was very specific with what you were allowed to read and know and what you weren’t. Given the dormant nature of the fault lines, it hadn’t been necessary for you to learn too much about the dimension on the other side. Most of what you studied and knew was about the gates themselves.

Even with the bureau being as paranoid and obsessive as it was – a lowly field researcher getting dragged to the other side and needing to survive hadn’t seemed to be on their radar.

The pessimistic part of you not-so-helpfully supplies that was probably just because they weren't very interested in your survival at all. They’d probably prefer it if you died here. If anything, your exposure to the other side made you more of a liability.

Maybe one they could experiment on, if you got lucky and survived.

This train of thinking isn’t helping anything. You could worry about what your life would become if you made it out.

Walking up to the lifeless and solid gate turns that into a very tentative if.

“Looks like the door’s shut tight,” Eddie offers vaguely, rocking back and forth on his heels as you circle the hole in the ground, like seeing a new angle will change something about it.

The opening looks largely the same as the other side, in the center of the abandoned trailer park with the forest surrounding. Your arms are covered in goosebumps as the breeze hits harder in the open field, no longer buffered by trees on all sides. On the bright side, it is slightly better lit here and you can see your companion a bit clearer now.

“Do you know how these things work? Like how and why it opens and shuts?” You ask desperately, looking at him from the other side of the crevice.

The corner of his mouth tilts up minutely, his shoulders shrugging. “Yes and no.”

The scowl returns to your face, frustration mounting as another shiver of cold racks your body. “Are you intentionally being unhelpful? Or are you just an idiot?”

His lips part in a surprised ‘o’, his eyebrows raising like he’s impressed. “That hurts, angel. I’m no idiot, and I think I’ve been plenty helpful. After all… I could’ve just left you to drown out there. Or maybe led you into a trap. Or left you for the dogs.” He taunts, returning to a toothy grin. The question of if he has your well being in mind gets more and more clear with a resounding no.

A fearful jolt runs down your spine as you stare him down, trying not to let your fear show. Grappling tightly to your anger, you taunt back, “Oh yeah? Then why didn’t you?”

A blink and he’s gone.

Your entire body goes on alert, tensing for attack as your heart starts to pound against your ribs. Eyes searching the immediate area in front of you come up empty. He’s either behind you or far enough you can’t see him in the low light. You never got an answer as to whether he’s moving quickly or teleporting or exactly how far he can get in the time you blinked.

He’s either long gone or… Trying to surprise you.

As soon as you have the thought, the hair on the back of your neck stands up – like some kind of unconscious sense of danger.

You turn in a quick 180 and he’s right there. Only a foot away from you with a sadistic sort of smile on his face. Your breath catches in your chest as it feels like a fist grabs tightly to your heart, suddenly much more terrified of the man in front of you.

That appears to be the way he prefers it.

“I think we can help each other.”

You blink at him, muscles pulled taut and ready to bolt as you try to figure out what the fuck he’s doing and what the fuck he wants. “What?” You question, your voice coming out a bit breathy and scared.

“I said, I think we can help each other,” he repeats calmly. “You help me, and I can help you get back home.”

“Why– What– H–how could I possibly help you?” You sputter, trying not to sound as terrified and confused as you feel.

His grin turns cheeky again, slightly less unsettling than it was a moment ago. “It won’t take much, angel, scout’s honor.” He says as he lays a hand over his chest. “You help me, then you’re free to crawl right back over to the other side and continue your life.”

Disbelief and uncertainty nags at you as you fidget in your spot, wanting desperately to put some more distance between the two of you but nervous to offend him. “So you can open the gate? You just want something in return?”

He shakes his head emphatically, appearing to be genuine in his denial. “I can’t but I know who can. They opened it before you were brought over.”

“And they would open it again? Just because you asked?” You question suspiciously, studying his facial expression for a sign that he’s pulling your leg again.

“Let’s just say that me and them have similar goals and leave it at that.”

There are 100 more questions on the tip of your tongue, but with the potential of getting back to your own dimension on the table, you’re reluctant to press too hard. He seems to recognize the battle you’re fighting with yourself as he laughs to himself. “You know what they say about curiosity, angel.”

An annoyed exhale punches out of your nose. “And I assume in this case that I’m the cat.”

“Bingo!” He says happily, tapping the end of his nose with his index finger. “So what do you say?”

There is so much you want to say. So many questions you want to ask. So much more info you need. But beggars can’t be choosers, you suppose.

“What would I need to do?”

His smile goes sharp again. “So glad you asked. I’d just need a kiss.”

A beat of silence. Then your expression drops in disbelief and disappointment. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Dead serious,” he insists, laying his hand on his chest again as he regards you intently. “And it’s gotta be real – gotta kiss me like you mean it. None of those little pecks you give on the cheek.”

A strange swirl of intrigue and revulsion mixes together in your gut as you continue waiting for the punchline. The ‘just kidding, your face was priceless’. But it doesn’t come.

“Is this some kind of sick joke? Been so lonely out here that you have to twist the arm of a desperate girl just to get some–”

“Hey.” He interrupts, his tone intense and cold. It shuts you up immediately, though you can’t say why. “Don’t be mean, angel. This isn’t just me trying to take advantage of you. It has a real purpose.”

The dubious look you give him makes him crack another small smile. “Cross my heart and hope to die, I’m telling you the truth.”

“And am I allowed to know what this purpose is?”

He shakes his head again, displacing the curls draped over his shoulders that still appear to have not dried at all. “I’ll tell you when it’s done, how about that?” He offers, using your curiosity against you to try to sweeten the deal.

Really, it’s a no brainer. Sure, he’s a strange person that lives in an alternate dimension that has some strange abilities. Sure, you know next to nothing about him despite that itch in the back of your head telling you that you know him somehow. And sure, this could be a huge mistake. But having to kiss this admittedly-attractive dude just to get out of this nightmare dimension and get back home? The choice is simple.

Which only makes you more certain there’s a catch you aren’t seeing.

“Fine. If you swear I’ll be able to go home, then I’ll do it.”

His expression brightens excitedly, a sort of childlike joy appearing on his face. It’s different from any of the expressions you’ve seen on him so far – like genuine surprise. “You will?”

“Yeah, sure.” You reply, trying to brush it off as nothing. “Not like I have a lot of other options here.”

His excitement fades slightly, though he still looks pleased with the outcome. “Glad you made the right decision.”

An unsettling silence falls as the two of you study each other once more, now much closer than the last time. Fear and anticipation builds steadily as you find yourself glancing down at his lips – realizing you’re about to know what they feel like on your own.

“Do we, uh,” you pause to clear your throat as you awkwardly break the silence. “Do we do it now? Or… What?”

He takes a step closer, entering your personal space. His voice is lower, stickier, and richer when he responds. “Do you wanna do it now, angel?”

You suddenly feel like a fly stuck in a honey trap – eyes widening as you struggle between wanting to further close the distance and to run away from him. “Now’s as good a time as any, I suppose?” Though you meant it to be nonchalant, it comes out as a nervous question.

The uncertainty in your voice only seems to make the man crack another amused smile. “I suppose so,” he replies softly, gently teasing you as he gets even just a little bit closer. You can feel your heart pounding in your neck, constantly flipping back and forth between fear, interest, nerves, and embarrassment. Looking at you through slightly lowered eyelids, he leans in toward you. Close enough you can feel the exhale of his breath on your face.

“Kiss me like you mean it, angel.” He reminds you quietly, the tip of his nose nudging against yours as your eyelids flutter closed instinctively. “Don’t forget.”

Then his lips are pressing to yours. You make a small noise of surprise, both in that you weren’t sure if he was actually going to do it and because he’s so cold. But his lips are plush and soft as he places your lower lip between his own. As promised, you kiss him back, trying not to think about how strange it feels that he’s cold and the situation you’re in – focusing on the gentle pressure of him as he steps even closer and brings his hand up to cradle your jaw.

It’s gentle and sweet as you find yourself starting to forget the reality of it all. Your hands find the edges of his leather jacket, tugging him closer as he hums happily. His other hand finds your waist – cold through the thin fabric of your tank top.

Teeth nip lightly at your lower lip and you make another small noise of surprise, a flash of heat through your chest at the pleasant feeling. It distracts you further – not even questioning the adventurous flick of his tongue against your mouth. You part your lips on instinct; his hand flexing happily against your jaw as he tests the waters to run his tongue along yours.

You return the gesture, encouraging the touch as you breathe heavily through your nose. You’re running low on air and will need to part to breathe soon. You’re surprised to find that you aren’t really sure that you want to stop to do so.

He seems to recognize the impending need too; his lips pressing against yours more insistently, like he’s getting what he can before it ends. His tongue ventures past your lips one more time, pressing further than he had before. Is… Is his tongue longer than normal?

In the same moment that he pulls away from you, the hand on your jaw claps over your mouth to keep it shut. And there’s something in your mouth.

There’s something moving in your mouth.

You make a high pitched noise of panic as your eyes double in size, looking at him in terror while he holds you tightly to his front and keeps his hand firmly over your mouth. “Ah, ah, angel. You gotta swallow it.” He coos, his palm clammy and cold against your slick lips.

You shake your head as well as you can with his grip, making noises of protest as you struggle to keep the smooth, wiggling object from sliding down your throat. Your hands grab at his wrist and forearm, trying to pull him off, but his grip is too strong. Begging him with your eyes, sharp and stuttered breaths coming out of your nose as you hyperventilate, he just gives you a sad smile. “It’s not that bad, I promise. Just gotta swallow and it’ll be over – don’t make me plug your nose.”

Painful tears poke out of your eyes and start to descend down your cheeks, nails digging into his skin to try and get him off. It seems not to affect him at all, his other hand giving your waist a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, baby. It’s gonna be okay. This is it – you won’t have to do anything else. Come on, angel. You can do it. Just swallow for me.”

His words of encouragement make your head spin in confusion, panic mounting as the outcome seems inevitable. More tears pour down your cheeks as you choke on a sob, inadvertently allowing the object to slide down your throat. 

“There we go,” he sighs in relief, grip on your face loosening, “Good girl.”

Somehow he knew that you’d swallowed it because he releases you right as you start to cough roughly, stumbling away from him and bending forward. You can still feel the strange coating from the creature on your tongue and down your esophagus – thick and wrong as you cough and gag.

Get it out, get it out, get it out, GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT!!

“What was– How do I– I’ve gotta–” You stammer, stumbling over your words as you tremble wildly and gag, your body responding to your panic by wanting to reject the new contents of your stomach.

He appears right beside you again, gripping both of your wrists with his hands as he forces you upright. “Don’t throw it up.” His voice is a command, his expression intense. “If you throw it up, I’ll have to force feed you another one. And trust me, it’s way less fun the 2nd time.”

Tears continue to pour from your eyes as you rapidly shake your head. “What was– What is– Why are you doing this? What was that thing?”

“Calm down, angel, please calm down,” he begs, starting to look distressed himself. “It’s gonna be okay, I swear, it’s gonna be fine. You’re a part of something bigger now. It’s all going to be okay.”

You try to pull out of his grip on your wrists, alternating between yanking back and rushing forward to push him away. “What the fuck does that mean?! What have you done to me?!” You shout through your tears, white hot panic spreading through your body. “It’s not too late – I can still, I can still throw it up, I can…”

He drags you in, wrapping you up in a tight bear hug with your arms trapped between the two of you. He shushes you, standing steady against your weakening struggling against him. “Shhh, shh, it’s alright, angel. It’s okay. You’re gonna get to go home, okay? We’re gonna get to go home.”

“Sir, we’ve got activity.”

Dr. Pierce pushes out of his desk chair fast enough to make his head spin – lack of sleep and too much coffee weakening him beyond measure. He’s barely left the main building since you went missing.

Since you were dragged through.

There have been constant patrols of the fault line you disappeared into, hoping for any sign of it waking up again. It was on his order and against the wishes of General Highland. She’s a level 1 researcher. She knew the risks. It’s not worth the cost.

But you didn’t know the risks, not really. Pierce knows he didn’t do enough to prepare you, to warn you. He didn’t do enough to protect you.

This is his fault.

He’s not the only one buzzing with anticipation as he exits his darkened office; several other scientists and field agents are reacting to the news of activity with a rush. Not everyone will be allowed to go to the site, as it would be a madhouse, but several live cameras and other surveillance equipment have been set up in the area. At least a quarter of the bureau across the country will be intently watching whatever happens next.

Pierce says nothing as he makes his way for the garage and the people he passes know better than to approach him now. He can still feel their eyes – judgemental, curious, concerned. He’s felt their eyes for days.

There are several SUVs already prepared by the time he arrives, most already full of people who were approved to be on site in the case of reactivation. He recognizes the soldier standing by waiting for him as Private Steve Harrington, the same man who brought in the recorder originally. He’s one of the few people at the bureau with prior knowledge of the other dimension despite his low rank.

“Sir,” he greets with a respectful head dip, opening the backdoor of the SUV for Pierce as he approaches. Pierce returns the gesture before climbing into the backseat, sliding across the bench to the opposite side. Steve gets in after him, his bulky gear forcing him to sit far forward on the bucket seat as he slams the door closed behind him.

It only takes another minute or so before the caravan lurches and begins to move, following after the identical black SUV in front of it.

The walkie-talkie on Steve’s shoulder kicks to life quietly, a short and concise signal coming through that Pierce doesn’t understand. The exhausted scientist looks over curiously as Steve murmurs an, “Affirmative,” into the device before clicking it off.

“Any news from the fault?”

Steve glances over, surprised to be addressed, before he turns back to look out the front windshield. “Nothing yet, sir.”

Pierce keeps an eye on the soldier as they travel – watching with intrigue as the man continuously searches the vehicle’s surroundings, like he’s expecting an attack.

“You seem on edge, Steve.” He straightens in response, looking even more uncomfortable at being referred to by his first name. “Is it because the gate is active?”

A muscle in his jaw rolling with tension, Steve keeps his gaze firmly forward as he responds. “It doesn’t supply a good feeling, that’s for sure.”

“And yet you still volunteered for the theoretical strike team to go through?” Pierce wonders aloud, phrasing it like a question.

There’s a tense moment of silence before the private answers. “At least I already know what to expect on the other side.”

The two don’t interact again for the reminder of the drive.

The SUVs all pull into the vacant field beside the field tent in a line, the leader of the patrol team coming out to meet the first vehicle. Pierce watches General Highland step out of it and start to converse with the uniformed woman. By the time he makes it way over, he seems to be catching the tail end of the conversation.

“We have each unit spread out in even intervals along the fault; so far there has been no change since it first activated.”

“And they all have their protective equipment on, I presume?” Dr. Pierce cuts in, surprising the patrol leader and earning an annoyed look from General Highland.

“Yes sir,” she responds with a head nod. “I was just telling the general that they’re all outfitted with gear to protect them from the worst of the radiation, but it would still do good to regularly swap out the unit in the center, where the worst of it is.”

Pierce agrees with a stiff nod, not waiting to hear the general disagree before he turns to look back. As he expected, Private Harrington trailed him over, waiting a respectful distance away as to not eavesdrop. “Harrington.”

Steve turns at the call, jogging over to Pierce. “Sir.”

“Suit up. You’re coming with me to the source.”

“Yes sir.”

The pair of them push into the field tent, currently staffed with 15 more people than usual. There are researchers and scientists bent over displays and documenting readings, soldiers standing by with weapons, field agents watching over the researchers shoulders. Pierce walks past all of them, parting the way as he does, and starts to strip off his lab coat while pulling a radiation suit off the rack. Steve follows suit, removing a majority of his gear to reequip on top of the plastic suit.

The buzz of excited chatter is nearly grating on Pierce’s ears as he goes through the annoying process of putting on the PPE. But he misses it when it suddenly cuts off, directly after one of the researchers announces, “We’ve got a spike in activity!”

Pierce looks over at Steve, who is still clipping things to his belt again. “We’ve gotta move.”

“Yes sir,” Steve repeats once more, gathering the bare necessities in his arms to try to equip as they move. The pair of them push out the other side of the tent and set into a jog towards what used to be Forest Hills Trailer Park.

They pass a few pairs of outfitted people as they move – soldiers patrolling and scientists maintaining the monitoring equipment placed along the fault. None of them interact as the pair jogs past, heading for the end of the fault line. They can see a small group ahead – presumably gathered closer to where the spike in activity happened.

“Make some room!” Steve barks out as they approach, the gathered group moving further away from the fault line in response. Some look back to see who is coming while others keep their eyes locked on the glowing source beyond.

“Keep at least 10 feet back from the fault at all times,” Pierce orders the group as they pass. “Stay in pairs, don’t go off on your own. We have very little idea what we’re dealing with here, but we have reason to believe there are things that will try to drag you through the gate. If something comes out, fall back and call out. Don’t let your partner get grabbed.”

There is some murmuring in response, but no one openly disregards the order, starting to pair off as a few people move further back along the fault line. Pierce approaches a pair hunched over a meter near the source, keeping his eyes on the glowing red below. “What are we looking at?”

“It’s fluctuating slightly; was 116 mv/m at 31016 Hz at peak.” The researcher responds, keeping a close eye on the EMF before them. “Nothing close to the reported 189 mv/m. We might not be looking at full activation. Or maybe it’s building up, it’s hard to say.”

“Wait,” Steve cuts in, holding a hand out for the researcher to pause. “Do you hear that?”

They all fall silent, listening closely.

Then Pierce hears it – the hum from the recording. The one you were talking about hearing.

The scientist gives him a nod of agreement before looking back to the researcher. “Any sign of movement from the other side?”

“Not that we can tell from here,” the field agent answers for them. “We’ve been following the guidelines to stay back so it’s hard to catch anything from here.”

“Radio? Portable EMF?” Dr. Pierce asks, and the field agent presents both. He takes them and then looks back at Steve. “We’re moving up.”

Even behind the protection of the face shield, Pierce can see the tension in his expression. Regardless, the private still answers with a confident, “Yes sir.”

Keeping the meter within eyesight, the two push ahead, closer to the large opening at the source. Pierce watches it tick up with each step closer, crossing the 150 mark as they get within 5 feet of the edge. Looking out across the opening, the glowing membrane pulses and hums with energy, louder and louder as they approach.

There’s very little movement on the other side, but every once in a while Pierce catches a glimpse of a dark shadow moving beyond.

“Never gets any less unsettling to look at,” Steve murmurs beside him, shifting his weight between his feet as he keeps his eyes locked on the unbroken membrane.

“Dr. Pierce, we’ve got another spike!” The researcher calls from behind, voice sounding a bit concerned. “We’re edging 170 now.”

The humming increases steadily along with a slight vibration in the ground beneath their feet. Steve steps up beside Pierce, a hand out like he’s ready to drag him back from the edge, as Pierce stares into the membrane intensely.

Come on. Come on. Come back through. Just be alive. Come on. Please be alive.

A more defined shadow moves along the edge closest to the trailer and doesn’t pull back. “We’ve got movement!” Steve calls back, alerting the nearby units as Pierce’s hand flies out to hush him. They both watch with a certain level of horrified fascination as the shadow grows defined enough to make that section of the membrane appear black before it begins to tear.

A bare hand extends out of the membrane, blindly grasping for the nearby edge. Steve twitches forward, like he wants to go and help them, but Pierce holds him back wordlessly, leaving them both standing perfectly still as another hand appears and grabs onto the edge.

The person uses the grip on the edge to pull themselves through – a woman in a filthy tank top and jeans struggling to pull herself onto the flat ground. As soon as she is through, she quickly turns around on her knees and reaches back through the membrane.

You’re… You’re actually alive.

Several soldiers approach slowly with their rifles out, aiming at you as you take hold of someone else’s hand and start to pull them through. A pale man with long, messy hair appears from the other side, holding on tightly to you as you help him reorient to the change in perspective. “No way…” Steve whispers, standing frozen as he watches them start to sit up and look around.

“Dr. Pierce!” You call happily once you spot him, waving at him like you’re excited to see him. There’s a huge smile on your face, a stark contrast to your utterly disheveled appearance. “I made it! I’m back!”

The soldiers continue to keep their weapons trained on the newcomers, watching for some sign of aggression. You slowly get to your feet, offering your hand to your companion and helping him up too. Steve takes a few mindless steps towards them, Dr. Pierce no longer stopping him. “Eddie?” He calls uncertainly, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Eddie, is that you?”

The man’s head perks up, looking in Steve’s direction. “Harrington?” He replies, sounding just as uncertain and confused. “Is that you in there?”

“Eddie, as in Eddie Munson?” Dr. Pierce asks Steve, still unmoving as he stares at you, seemingly unharmed.

“Yeah…” Steve breathes out, still looking stunned. “And he doesn’t look like he’s aged a day.”

You and Eddie start to walk over when a soldier barks at you to stay back, both of you nervously putting your hands up as you look between the armed soldiers, Steve, and Pierce.

“It’s me, Dr. Pierce. It’s really me.” You insist, looking at him pleadingly. “And this is Eddie, he helped me find my way back. He saved me.” You add, motioning to the man beside you. The two of you are close together; you stand slightly in front of Eddie, like you’re protecting him. Eddie just offers a sheepish smile and a shrug, like it was no big deal.

“Sir? What do we do?” One of the soldiers asks, glancing in Dr. Pierce’s direction.

The two of you look exhausted, dirty, hungry, but… Harmless. No worse for wear despite the time spent on the other side.

“Bring them in.” Pierce orders. “No excessive force. They’ve been through a lot.”

The soldiers nod, lowering their weapons and urging you both to come forward. You look particularly relieved, while Eddie appears mostly unphased by all of it.

“Thank god, I need a shower so badly.” You announce with a happy laugh, walking toward them as you shake your head and make a disgusted face. “No one smell me, I’m begging you.”

If anyone finds your behavior unsettling or strange, they don’t say so. Everyone mostly looks relieved it didn’t turn into some kind of fight. While there is something off about how you’re acting, Dr. Pierce can’t find it in himself to feel anything besides relief at your return.

Steve stands motionless and tense as Eddie approaches, looking every bit like he’s seen a ghost. There is no excitement, no relief, no… Trust. Like this is all a bad dream and he just wants to wake up.

Just before you and Eddie pass the two of them, you flash another excited smile. “And not a moment too soon – I’m so thirsty.” You look over at Eddie, who nods in agreement, before you continue walking toward the field tent in the distance, flanked on either side by armed soldiers.

Eddie stops by Steve, giving him a tilted smile. “Hey Harrington, didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I could say the same to you,” Steve replies, his tone apprehensive and flat. If Eddie catches on, he doesn’t show it, just continuing to show that same smile – like he knows something you don’t.

“What can I say?” He offers with a shrug and a wink before he continues to trail after you and toward the growing crowd beyond. “It’s good to be back.”

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thanks for reading, please let me know if you liked it!!

[sarahreesbrennan]

Another Interesting Spoilery Evil Question

To directly answer the question before I start rambling, the Cobra’s body’s physical age is 24.

(You can stop reading here if you like. This gets very long!)

When Marius meets the Cobra (chapter 18 epigraph from Time of Iron) he correctly identifies him as Marius’s own age at the time - 18.

At the time of the book all the physical bodies’ ages are as follows.

Marius - 24

The Cobra - 24

Rahela - 24

Octavian - 24

(Pio and Nemeth, Octavian’s advisers, are in their early 40s and late 50s respectively - they’re Octavian’s dad’s people and that is part of why they are so stressed. Their king died young, Octavian became king in his teens and it has been an uneasy court ever since.)

Emer - 23

Key - 20

Lia - 19

Rae and Eric in our world were both 4 years younger than their bodies in this world (so they would both be 20 if the story hadn’t happened to them). For the moment we’ll leave aside Key, who had another life too, in a different way. (He was a little kid, but old enough to walk after his father, in the epigraph from Time of Iron in chapter 15.)

I do age shenanigans for two reasons.

—One is that age in fiction and reality is weird, and I wanted to portray that. If I had a crush on Mr Darcy when I was 7, is that okay? If I had a crush on Mr Darcy when aged 41, is that okay? Mr Darcy’s always in his late twenties: Elizabeth Bennet will never be older than 21, but she seemed so glamorous and all-knowing to me when I was a kid.

And if you walk into a story, when in their character development do you find them? Would we like Darcy when he’s sneering at Elizabeth at a ball? Who is it that we love and when?

Plenty of adult women fancied Edward Cullen, perpetually a teen (or was he? Fantasy and horror also open up the possibility of immortality - but in a way, all fictional characters are immortal. Holden Caulfield isn’t growing up any more than Edward Cullen is. And like fictional characters and immortals, the dead aren’t getting any older either—I think often of Anne Rice, author of the Vampire Chronicles, who wrote the doomed child vampire Claudia after losing her own daughter Michele as a child. Death, immortality, fiction and the overlap!) When I read or watched stories in which characters were in different/changed bodies they usually seemed younger - often their younger selves, or a younger/cuter body (Peggy Sue Got Married, Scarlet Heart). (Exceptions exist of course, e.g. Howl’s Moving Castle.) And I like magic losing something, costing you something, plus I’m a contrarian. So I wanted them older.

—The other is that LONG LIVE EVIL is a story about trauma, which often arrests your age in your mind. The period in which you were enduring the horrors is a blank in which you couldn’t develop normally, or in which you had plenty of experiences but few of them match with your peers’.

Cancer did it to me, which wasn’t horrendous as I was in my early 30s and that’s still adult, just meant a bit of ‘oh no I’m not this child’s mother, I’m too young - actually I’m a bit old to be this child’s mother now I think about it, but anyway I don’t claim her’ and the like. But I’ve seen it do the same for people with cancer I befriended or whom I mentor, and it’s a very different proposition if the lost years are 17-21.

It’s not just cancer, I’ve seen bereavement work that way on people, and apparently celebrity works on the mind like trauma and arrests you at the age you became famous in a lot of ways. It’s being taken out of the run of ordinary life, walking through your portal into strangeness.

But in the end most of us wind up with years that feel lost, I think, and playing catch-up is the only way forward.

And allegory remains allegory: if I’m writing a werewolf I’m taking about rage and body horror, sure, but I’m also talking about werewolves.

I was actually confused by this ask at first as I’d written a whole section where Eric says he’s going to die of a heart attack at 20 and Marius is exasperated as Eric is a little young to start lying about his age! But it must have fallen victim to my many cuts - stories transform! - and I can see why, because I don’t think Eric exactly thinks of himself as 20 anymore.

I had some struggles with the age stuff, it’s another layer of complication in a complicated story and there were worries raised that it was unnecessary and might make some characters less appealing but in the end I decided it was necessary to me and let the characters be unappealing, then.

I also enjoy the twisting, fluid ages because they cause conflict, and conflict is story.

Rae uses her new age (and thus doesn’t need to think of her absolutely horrible self worth) to count herself out as a romantic option in Key’s eyes.

She also thinks of the Emperor as in his mid-20s, as he is - after a time skip that happens in the original Time of Iron, years in which Key and Emer were Lia’s servants. She knows about those years, but she doesn’t put it together.

At Eric and Marius’s first meeting 6 years before the events of LONG LIVE EVIL, Eric also hasn’t been in the book that long. He was in a horrifically traumatic survival situation for a large part of the time he was inside, when he approached Marius to blackmail him. That is objectively a deranged thing to do, but Eric is thinking like a terrified 14 year old and also like a Huge Fan of Marius. aka the quintessential white knight, the Last Hope who is reserved and dignified and crucially, 24-28.

That would be the Marius Eric at the time knows when he approaches Marius in the flesh, Marius at 18 and coming off family trauma, friend trauma and quasi-romantic trauma himself. Marius actually DOES go into dissociative states and kill people, Eric was taking a huge risk with his own life that not a single person in the country would have taken. Marius is a Valerius, and they are killers. (The whole court, Marius included, thought Lady Katalin ((Rahela’s mother)) was being very daring by like, touching Marius’s hand when he was 17.)

Eric is acting wild partly because a) he is wild, b) he’s desperate but also crucially c) he’s thinking of Marius as someone that Marius isn’t yet and d) he’s not thinking of things from Marius’s POV, and doesn’t until the events of LONG LIVE EVIL. Their quasi friendship/quasi hostage situation (that the hostage had firmly decided was happening) couldn’t have happened without a perfect storm of weirdness, risks and lack of understanding what the hell was going on.

Marius would not have seen a 14 year old Eric (not a child to him exactly, but squire age rather than knight age) as a criminal threat in the same way as he saw the Cobra, his own age (18, which was definitely very adult, Marius thought at the time). Eric wouldn’t have failed to consider consequences or failed to consider Marius as person rather than character, if he’d actually been 18. But by the time anyone knew better, a status quo was established, and habit is second nature and a stronger nature than the first.

Eric’s plight is horrific initially. But at the same time, Eric is extremely intelligent (both intellectually and emotionally) and able to both cover and play catch-up to this new life, and he can advise Rae with the benefit of his experience - but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t screw up massively when he first came into the book, or that he doesn’t still have many things to work through.

Similarly, Emer is used to Rahela who is quasi older sister and quasi mistress, while Rae is now acting younger. And all of them are dealing with a gross system in which men are seen as in their youthful prime when women the same age are getting long in the tooth and can be traded in for teenagers - so even two people who are the same age aren’t treated as if they’re the same age, if they’re different genders. Age stuff is crunchy!

Also, while Emer thinks of Lia as having all the power due to class, Lia looks on someone who was her glamorous older stepsister’s age mate and went off to the big city years ago rather differently. But then, are adulthood and childhood different worlds? Is being in different social classes being in different worlds?

Can we reach the different universes of other people is something I’m always asking, I think.

THIS IS SO LONG. I AM SO SORRY.

[pigeonpeach]

Puppy Love!

Diluc x fem!reader

Cw: none.

He’s been yearning from the start. When you were little and your father would bring you to the winery. He caught sight of you once as you stomped on the grapes. Laughing and giggling. Your smile caught his eye, sending unfamiliar emotions overwhelming his little brain making him panic. He thought he was dying!

He avoided you then. It took some prodding from Adelinde for him to finally open up about his symptoms. To which she couldn’t help but laugh. When his father came home he talked to Diluc about it. He explained that he was in love, that these feelings are normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

Crepus tried to encourage him not to stay stagnant, in the end you two became friends. Strangely the game he wanted to play most with you was house, and he insisted you were the mom and he the dad,Kaeya always as the baby. It was amusing for Crepus and Adelinde seeing him be so protective at such a young age.

Surprisingly though, even as you aged his feelings didn’t disappear. In fact it got worse. Now a young teenager, going through hormones and workouts, he strived to be big and strong so you would fawn over him as you did the other knights. He showed off more, even staying up doing curl ups in hopes he’d get the hardest abs known to men. Always trying to find some excuse to show off his strength when you were around. But now that you were older you figured out he liked you. You giggled and smiled in ways that drove him crazy on purpose. You wanted to beckon him to confess, you liked him too! But he kept putting it off. Deep down Diluc was scared of his love for you. But he promised he’d do it someday! He’d make you his, you two would be wed and bounded for eternity!

His 18th birthday wasn’t what he thought. Nor what you did. Everything changed. Everything. Kaeya suddenly avoided his home after Crepus’s death. He seemed distressed and frustrated. Jean seemed stressed out more than ever. You ended up getting closer to those two in that time. Sure you two played together but you had been busy learning a new trade. You had been studying and just received a acceptance letter from Sumeru. But you couldn’t share in your excitement, it felt wrong to. So you left saying goodbye to Kaeya and Jean.

You put all your energy into studying in Sumeru. You refused to think about Diluc and worry about him. You had wasted your life and childhood pinning for him, did he even love you afterall? Had your flirty advances been misguided. His change in confidence been a oversight? You were heartbroken in many ways. You were sad for Diluc, losing his father, confused about his relationship with Kaeya the brother he was stuck to like glue, and his sudden departure and withdrawal from the Knights. You dated in Sumeru, you wanted to distract yourself, wanted to bury those feelings. You socialized and made friends. You were admired greatly and loved sure but you had wanted it to be him deep down. Wanted him to finally say those words.

When you returned to Mondstadt things had also changed again. Of course you knew, Jean became Acting Grandmaster, Kaeya was now the Calvary Captain, and… Diluc was back? Now it was awkward between you two. He had a face so cold you wondered if he hated something as simple as breathing. It pained you to see him like this. So you focused your attention else were, putting your degree to good use in whatever. It also meant you didn’t visit the Winery much. You couldn’t really bare to go either, it was just too much for you.

Strangely Diluc didn’t seem to approach or even acknowledge you until he noticed a Fatui agent flirting with you one day. You weren’t too into it but hey you have needs too! The guy seemed to get too bold way too quickly. One night at Angel’s share you noticed him glaring him down as he chatted with you, until finally he got a bit rowdy when you said you didn’t feel good. Quickly said agent found himself thrown out upon the first protest out of his mouth.

“Are you okay?” Diluc asked as he walked back to you. You couldn’t help but feel nervous, there wasn’t too many guests tonight.

“Yes in fine. I just drank.. a bit much..” you said, your speech a little slurred. He seemed worried.

“Hold on let me get you something.” He said leaving briefly, he came back with water. “Drink, you’ll feel better.” You did so. Your cheeks were rosy, was it from the alcohol or him? Oh god when did he get so tall? He seemed so hot now! Not just because of his vision too.

“T-thanks. It wasn’t that big of a deal.” You said smiling.

“It was though. I noticed him taking out a vial and I had to get him out. I’ll make sure he never comes back in here.” Diluc spoke with such certainty then. That shaky overconfidence replaced with a more secure and strong voice. You couldnt help but oogle him.

“Do you think you could walk me home after this? I just want to make sure nothing bad happens.” You asked, your hand moved a inch closer to his as you drank some more water.

“Of course, you’ll have to wait till closing though. But I’m more than willing to escort you home.” He said with certainty. You couldn’t help but play with your hair a bit, maybe it was more than the alcohol making you feel more attracted to him, he was quite handsome in that jacket.. those gloves too.. and his arms!

“Of course of course. Although with the fatui being so… active maybe its best I avoid my house for now. Unfortunately the Hotel is all sold out.” You played up your distress noticing how his hair seemed to poof uo at the hint of your fear. As if he was ready to scoop you into his arms and carry you off. Or maybe it’s wishful thinking. But you spent genuine years and decades pining for him so you didn’t have much to lose now.

“You can stay at the Winery for tonight. Don’t worry about anything, Adelinde and I will work something out. We have plenty of guest rooms for you to stay in. I’m certain she’d also be glad to see you again.” He said, his face hid any emotions but his eyes gave him away. You realized he was far more expressive if you just focused on his fiery red eyes. He seemed excited to take you home, almost far too eager. You smiled the same smile that sent him falling head over heels all those years ago, chuckling slightly.

“Oh I’ve heard. I’ve just been too busy to visit. I trust she’s doing well right?” Carefully you moved your hand closer to his. You tried not to look at it but from the corner you could see only a little gap.

“She has been a bit annoyed recently. Apparently her two new hires aren’t too diligent and she often has to make them redo their tasks. She complains they gossip too much.” He says. You smile.

“Oh? Isn’t she a gossip herself?” You said recalling from memory how she loved to talk about the latest drama. Your finger stretched out to gently touch his. He seemed to stiffen.

“Yes but she says that she knows how to balance it. From what I’ve seen she’s right, they often just stand and chat alot. But what about you? I heard you went to Sumeru to study correct?” He asked, his hand moving away slightly making you annoyed.

“Well yeah. Honestly it was quite exhausting. And so pricey too! I ended up often having to forage for food more than i’d like and I ended up accidentally taking hallucinogenic mushrooms once because I didn’t bother to research what was edible and not.” You watched him smile. “But i did have some fun, I went on my first date.” You watched his smile fade as he seemed to grow jealous.

“Oh?” He said.

“Yeah, i had plenty of suitors then, a few nights here and there. It was nice. I’m not in anything committed right though.” You moved your hand closer, this time he didn’t move his. He seemed to be overthinking it. You spotted his brows furrowing.

“What about you? Have you dated anyone?” You asked. He shook his head. “Really?!” You couldn’t hold your surprise.

“Yes. Well I was a bit… busy doing other things.. but nowadays there just isn’t any one quite fit for me.” He said, he seemed to eye you though, you felt emboldened by this. Your hand moving ontop of his.

“If you wait too long you might pass up the opportunity.” You say with a wink. You could hardly believe this was the same man who once fell off his horse because he wanted to impress you. His other hand on yours.

“I-god you’re so beautiful.” He said as if he’d been holding that back for so long. You giggled.

“Really? I’m probably a mess right now. I didn’t really put much care into my appearance today.” You say dismissively.

“No no no. You’re stunning. You’ve always been so beautiful. I just… sometimes it feels like I can’t take my eyes off of you.” He admits. You blush, is finally going to confess?

Unfortunately he seems to get cold feet. Clearing his head and pulling away as he clears his throat. You get annoyed, just how long is planning on waiting here?!

“I-its late. I should start closing.” He says. You sigh defeatedly.

“I understand. Just don’t keep me waiting for too long otherwise I’ll just wander out myself.” You say. He stopped then.

“Actually there is something I’ve been meaning to ask.” He says pausing. You shot straight up In excitement. “I’d like to get dinner with you if that’s alright.” He said. You smiled, his eyes looking upon you with such love. You knew his plan as he finally got the courage.

“Lets make it a date shall we?” You said teasingly. He blushed.

“I-uh… if you would like to sure.” He said nervously smiling. You stood up to his level and pressed a kiss to his cheek boldly. “O-oh i didn’t realize you were this into me.”

“Buddy, you’ve been stringing me along for years now. You aren’t going to get all shy on me now.” You said gently patting his cheek.

“I-i feel like a idiot now.. if i had known you had felt the same I could’ve avoided so much heartbreak.” He sighed as it all came down on him. “Wait… why didn’t you confess then?”

“I wanted you to! I thought you would look the cutest all flustered and stammering!” You said.

“I would not have been that nervous.”

“You are right now.” You smile smugly.

[aguacatetoast]

Cowboy

Female Reader x Portgas D Ace

Warnings: minors DNI! 18+, possessiveness, unprotected sex, a bit of sub Ace, oral female receiving, praising, teasing, riding, and probably more pls lmk!

Word count:2,548

(Likes and reposts are greatly appreciated!<3)

You decide to go out with your girls to the club when you see Ace the guy you had a fling with starts being possessive and sets his hat on your head. You know the cowboy hat rule.

yes this is inspired by the ace edit by @ mr.sanjivk on tiktok!

It was a Saturday night and you and your girls, Nami and Robin, had been pregaming and getting ready together on the thousand sunny. The plan was to go to a club at the next island you stopped at, which you guys were approaching rather quickly according to your navigator. "Girls! We're almost at the island, are you guys ready?" asked Nami. Robin said a soft 'yes'. "I'm almost ready, just need to put on my heels," you said. Nami as always started stressing out "Come on y/n hurry up! I heard in this town there's a drinking competition and I want my berries" she yelled out as she left the room. As soon as she did you could hear the chef swoon over her and loudly compliment her.

Robin let out a soft laugh and said "Y/n I'll meet you outside, I'll calm our navigator down." You gave her a soft smile of acknowledgement as she left the room and you finished putting on your heels. You went to a mirror to check yourself out and you were satisfied with the way you looked so you made your way outside. You were the last victim of the cook as he had been waiting for you to come out, thankfully as soon as you got onto the deck, you arrived on the island. "Took you long enough, let's go," said nami, you said quick goodbyes to everyone that was on the deck and made your way to the island.

The club was crowded and sweaty as expected, Nami went off to her competition, and Robin went to a mysterious corner to read her book, and that left you in the middle of the dance floor, with sweaty bodies all around you. It wasn't your idea for the night, but you made the most out of it (with the help of a couple of rounds of tequila shots in your system.) You had fully unwinded and danced with anyone that was around. You noticed a muscular man had taken interest in you as he kept on glaring at you and would dance extremely close to you touching your curves. Normally you would've pushed him off in 0.2 seconds, but it had been a while since you had gone clubbing and you were touch-deprived. So you simply didn't care as you were grinding onto his attractive body. You were in your own world dancing with this strange man when suddenly you felt a hat plop on your head. You started to look around and see who would do such a thing when you noticed a certain athletic man with familiar dark raven hair.

You instantly lose interest in the random guy you were dancing with and head towards Ace. Your heart was racing, and you saw he was missing his hat, which could only mean… "Hey beautiful," Ace said with a smirk as he leaned down close to your ear, "Like your hat" You look at him with an annoyed face and rolled your eyes "Hey Ace, what's up and what's with the hat?" you say trying to take the hat off, he let out a cocky chuckle and put his big hand over yours and pushed the hat back down, "I'm just claiming what's mine, that's all" You were taken aback by his actions, sure you and he had a fling, and it was more than a fling to you but he never seemed to have taken it as serious as you did. After things ended with him you thought of him every single day, he always crossed your mind. But you had to move on because you knew he didn't feel the same way, although he never said it. You also ended up joining his younger brother's crew, it was inevitable.

"Excuse me? What makes you think I'm yours, last time I checked I was never your girlfriend" you told Ace with an ache in your heart. His expression changed, and his eyes softened with sadness to them. "I'm sorry I never made you my girlfriend y/n… I was a dumbass and didn't feel like I deserved you" You just gave him a disappointed look when he said "Can I get another chance? I promise this time will be different…I really miss you" Now you don't know whether it was the alcohol or his puppy eyes pleading with you to give him another chance but you said yes. His eyes lit up and he smiled brightly "Thank you y/n I promise to treat you like a queen" he said as he brought you into a tight hug, as he rested his head on top of yours. You lightly punched his arm saying "Yeah you better…idiot" He laughed enjoying your presence and jokes that he missed so much.

Ace danced with you the entire night, keeping his warm hands tight around your waist and occasionally traveling down your ass. You had a tight grip on his buff shoulders and biceps, enjoying every inch of him not wanting the night to end. He stopped dancing for a moment which made you stop and just look at him, you two were making intense eye contact in this crowded room but in your mind, it was just the two of you. The eye contact was making your heart race again until he leaned down to kiss you, giving you the most desperate passionate kiss you've ever had, as he let go he whispered in your "You don't know how much I missed you" you smiled, happy that he missed you that much but you wanted to tease him "Show me how much you missed me" you stated close up in his ear with a sensual tone. He pulled back to face you with a shocked face and then a smirk "Are you sure you want to know?" you gave him an arrogant smile "Dying to know."

He ended up dragging you out of that club, you saw Robin on your way out as you waved goodbye to her. Ace was holding your hand so tight and almost sprinting out of there you didn't even get to see Robin's face. You and Ace managed to escape the club and made your way to his ship and then raced to his room. "y/n you don't know how long I've been waiting for this" You felt your cheeks go warm at his sincerity "I also missed you a lot Ace… thought about you every day…." you admitted to him. You see him get flustered and see his freckled cheeks go red, he kisses you again but this time with hunger. He starts off with slow passionate kisses and suddenly bites your bottom lip gently, you then feel him slip his hot tongue and you allow him access to your mouth. You missed the way he tastes, no matter what Ace always tasted the same and god did you miss it. Meanwhile, he's grabbing your ass making you grind on him and you let out a soft moan as you felt how hard he was through his shorts. He lets out a groan "Fuck I missed your beautiful noises" You smiled softly "Yeah? What else did you miss about me…"

His eyes were full of lust, different from before "Let me show you…please" he says begging. You give a small nod and he moves you towards his bed, you feel comfortable in this familiar space, it feels almost natural being there on his bed as Ace takes off your heels and lifts up your dress. He manages to get it off quickly and admires your figure in your matching lace bra and underwear. You had planned on getting some action tonight, just not with Ace (but you were glad it was him) Ace was looking at you as if you were his prey and he was the predator, you felt flustered under his intense gazing when he interrupted your thoughts "Fuck…baby you're so beautiful" his hand grazing your thighs as you laid down on his bed, back against his bed frame. You felt a fluttering when he slid your panties down, his eyes staying put on your core admiring every single second. It had been a while since you had gotten any action, you were extremely lustful and sensitive.

You let out a small gasp when he immediately digs in and licks you up from the bottom of your pussy to your clit. Ace is fully focused on your intoxicating taste, savoring every second he teases your clit and feeling as you twitch under his strong grip. You were so sensitive and turned on that if he kept on licking at your bundle of nerves you were surely going to cum right then and there. Your legs were twitching uncontrollably as you moaned, not caring how loud you were because he just made you feel so good. "F-fuck Ace if you keep on going…" Before you could finish your sentence he took his head out "Sorry princess, not yet" he said with a stupid smile "Want you to cum on my cock" he leaned in to kiss you, tasting yourself in the kiss. You were disappointed, especially knowing how close you were but you were immediately relieved by the feeling of his dripping tip rubbing along your clit and then down to your slit. "You're so pretty, baby… I can't wait to feel you" As he finished that sentence he thrusted full force into you. You moaned loudly digging your nails onto his back as he hovered over you, length fully in you.

He hissed at how tight you were "Damn sweetheart, real tight for me.." you couldn't even speak with how full you felt, he started thrusting into you slowly, your nails digging deeper. The room was full of explicit noises, your skin slapping, moans from the both of you, your wetness. While Ace fucks you, he maintains eye contact not wanting to miss your pretty face as you moaned, and making sure his hat was still placed on your head. He puts one of his thumbs in your mouth making you suck it and letting out a small good girl. He uses that thumb to rub on your clit, as he starts thrusting into you even faster "No one has ever fucked you as good as me huh baby" you moaned at the combination of sensations, your cunt being destroyed feeling the bulge in your lower stomach, and now your clit being perfectly played with as he ran circle over it, you weren't able to answer him. He makes you look at him by taking his hand away from your clit and pulling the string of his hat that was under your chin to turn your head over to where he was, making you guys meet eye to eye. "Answer me, baby, no one has ever made you feel as good as me hm?" he said in an assertive tone, as you gained a bit of awareness and shook your head yes, his thumb went back to your clit as he said "Use your words babe" You were cock drunk but managed to say "Only you make me feel so good…Ace"

He started pounding into your pussy, making you feel so full but you couldn't stop moaning and gasping, you were to think he was going to split you in half. Your legs were extremely wide open as he was pounding on you and running circles onto your clit your legs were numb at this point. The heat in your belly started blazing and you knew you were close "Ace.. I'm c-close" he starts sucking on your nipples as your boobs had spilled out of your bra and he whispered in your ear "Cum on my cock beautiful" That was your last straw. The heat in your stomach poured out of you as he took this as an opportunity to thrust even faster. You were overstimulated and tears started to flow, but he made you feel so good. Your moans were so loud if anyone was on that ship they would think Ace was torturing someone. But before you were officially done he flipped you on top of him and now he was under you.

You were distraught as you were still recovering from what just happened, with a lustful look on his face he says "Since you're wearing my hat, I think it's only right if you ride me like a true cowgirl" you scoffed but decided to do as he said. You open your legs in between him and pop in his cock back sighing at how he felt at this angle. He laid down with a smug face watching as you jumped up and down on his cock. "You take me so well sweetheart," he said and moaned right after once you started going at a faster rate. You can feel his now burning palms grip your waist moving you up and down even faster. Your pussy gripped onto him making him moan "Mm-hm I'm gonna cum" and you felt his hot liquid shooting up inside you. You moaned softly as you felt his seed inside you and spill out of you as you sat on top of him. He moved you next to him now.

He went to the bathroom cleaned himself up a bit and went with a warm towel and he cleaned up the mess he made in you. You stared at him mind racing with thoughts. You couldn't believe that this man cleaning you up gently was the same one that was railing you a couple of seconds ago. Ace catches you staring and gives you one of his big smiles, with a sweaty face and rosy freckled cheeks. You can't help but smile at him, he sets down the towel somewhere as he goes to lie down with you. Somehow after all of that, you were still wearing his hat which he seemed to appreciate. "I guess you didn't miss me much huh Ace" you said with a giggle as he brought you under the covers to cuddle him. He laughs with an almost bashful look on his face "I never slept with anyone else after you y/n, I knew no one could compare to you and how you make me feel…" He said looking at your eyes lovingly "Plus no other girl would look as good in my hat except for you." You laughed and gave him a quick kiss "Yeah I think I'm gonna keep it now it suits me much better" he smiled "How about I keep my hat and keep you by my side, that suits me best" as he reached to get his hat back you stopped him "One thing at a time ok… but yes I will be your girlfriend" He instantly pulled you into a kiss and hugged you tightly "Thank you, baby, I promise it will be nothing like last time" he squeezed you in reassurance. Your face was against his smooth chest as you confessed to him "Ace… I love you" You heard his heartbeat start racing as he ran a hand through your hair "I love you too y/n…" and then the two of you dozed off to sleep.

[b1ackoutartist]

Wrapped

The soft lullaby hummed through the small apartment, a gentle tune breaking the silence of the night. Natasha Romanoff, once a feared and respected CEO, was now frequently found dozing off on the nursery floor, fingers entwined with those of her baby son, Alex.

The dining room was exquisitely decorated. Soft chandeliers, glinting silverware, and crisp tablecloths laid the foundation for a perfect family dinner. But there was an unmistakable tension in the air, more palpable than the rich aroma of food that wafted through the room.

Y/N gently cradled baby Alex, who cooed and drooled, blissfully unaware of the strained dynamics around the table. On one side was Melina, her icy gaze focused primarily on Y/N, occasionally darting to the baby. Opposite her sat Alexei, a silent observer, while Yelena played peek-a-boo with baby Alex, trying to lighten the mood.

Y/N attempted small talk. "Melina, this roast looks delicious."

Ignoring the compliment, Melina quipped, "Isn't it a bit too early for Alex to be teething, dear?"

Y/N's face flushed. "Every baby is different. The pediatrician said it's normal."

"It's just that when Natasha was a baby," Melina began, her voice dripping with passive aggression, "she followed every milestone to the letter. And Yelena, too."

Yelena rolled her eyes, shooting Y/N a sympathetic look. "Mama, can we not do this tonight?"

But Melina continued, "Natasha has a lot on her plate as a CEO, and I don’t think she needs more stress. Perhaps if you focused more on understanding the baby and less on whatever you've been doing..."

Y/N’s grip tightened around Alex. "I'm doing my best, Melina."

Natasha clenched her fist. "Mother, enough!"

Alexei tried to lighten the atmosphere, sharing an old anecdote from Natasha’s childhood. But Melina’s criticisms, veiled under the guise of 'advice', continued. They stung Y/N, the insecurities she tried so hard to bury resurfacing with each jab.

Y/N tried to focus on Alex, feeding and playing with him, but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Yelena slid closer to Y/N. "Ignore her," she whispered. "You're doing great. And Nat thinks so too."

Just then, Alex wailed, startling everyone. Y/N tried to soothe him, but Melina's sharp voice cut through, "Do you even know how to hold him right?"

That was the last straw for Natasha. Standing up, she addressed her mother coldly, "Can I talk to you? Outside."

The room was silent as the two women left. Alexei sighed heavily, turning his attention to his food, while Yelena tried to comfort the shaken Y/N.

Outside, Natasha and Melina stood facing each other, the night air charged with tension.

"I won’t let you belittle Y/N any longer," Natasha started, her voice stern and unwavering.

"She's not right for you," Melina retorted, "She's keeping you from your responsibilities. She doesn’t even know how to raise Alex properly."

"You don't get to decide that. She’s an amazing mother, and I love her," Natasha countered, "If you can't respect that, then you won’t see Alex or me again."

Melina's eyes widened in disbelief. "You'd choose her over your own family?"

"I am choosing my family. Y/N and Alex are my family. And if you can’t accept that, then you’re pushing us away, not the other way around."

The weight of Natasha’s words hung heavy in the air. Melina looked away, struggling to find words.

The weight of Natasha’s words hung heavy in the air. Melina looked away, struggling to find words. The two women stood in silence, the cool night breeze whipping around them, carrying with it an air of finality.

After a few minutes, Natasha turned on her heels and walked back inside. The atmosphere in the dining room was thick, and everyone turned their attention to her as she entered. Without saying a word, she took baby Alex from Y/N's arms. "Get your things," she instructed gently but firmly, "We're leaving."

Y/N nodded, her eyes misting over with tears, yet she felt a strange sense of relief. She stood up, her movement drawing Yelena's attention. The younger woman approached her, whispering, "I'll come by tomorrow, okay? Just take care of yourself and Alex."

As Y/N moved to gather their things, Alexei tried to mediate. He stood, approaching his red-headed daughter. "Natasha, stay. Let's talk this out."

Natasha looked at him, her green eyes icy and resolute. "I appreciate it, but there’s nothing more to say. I won't let anyone disrespect my family."

The old bear of a man looked saddened. "Just remember this is your home. Always."

Natasha offered him a weak smile, appreciating his sentiment but knowing that tonight, leaving was the right choice. She adjusted baby Alex in her arms, feeling his little heartbeat against her. The weight of her son was grounding, a constant reminder of what mattered most.

With Y/N by her side, and their belongings in hand, they made their way to the door. The house that was once filled with laughter and joy seemed cold and unwelcoming. But as the door closed behind them, they knew they were stepping into a new chapter, one where they could create a loving environment for Alex and themselves.

Yelena and Alexei watched them go, a mix of sadness and understanding in their eyes. Melina, still outside, heard the car start and drive off. She leaned against the wall, a wave of regret washing over her. The realization that she might have lost her daughter and grandson because of her stubbornness weighed heavy on her heart.

[itsclydebitches]

Don't mind me, everyone, just gonna slip on my Tedependent conspiracy hat for a bit...

Okay, for real though, can we talk about how Trent's backstory in 3x06 completely re-contextualizes his dinner with Ted in 1x03? Based on my own interpretation, the implied timeline is that Trent was married to a woman, attempted to come out to her and was dismissed (perhaps in large part because they were married: what do you mean you're gay? You can't be. You love me, etc.), either having his daughter forced Trent to become more honest about what he and his family needed, or they had her in an attempt to "fix" the marriage, she gets caught in the crossfire of all this, Trent comes out again, this time his wife believes him, they divorce, are still good friends, and their daughter is happier than ever because she has two loving parents who are now living their best lives.

Given her age - 3 at the start of the series, about 6 now - that means there's a decent possibility that Trent was still married at the beginning of the show.

And that his dinner with Ted is one of the things that pushed him to try coming out again.

As his core Ted is someone who is authentic and that authenticity is what catches Trent's interest. He's dismissive of it at first, literally thinking it's a "fucking joke," only to later end up with the revelation, "You really mean that, don't you?" - that Ted honestly enjoyed spending time with him. AKA, Ted says and does what he means, even when it seems completely unbelievable. How freeing must that be to see? I'm just imagining this interview-turned-dinner through the eyes of a man who is still unhappily married, mostly closeted, and struggling to help his daughter through the stress of that dynamic. Then he meets this sunshine of a coach who is so authentically himself that it initially comes across as an act, an exaggeration, a joke. But Ted never wavers, simply refuses to be anything other than himself. Soon he's doing even more than that, breaking down gender norms by characterizing the masculine, aggressive Roy Kent as the "little girl" from A Wrinkle in Time, burdened with the responsibility of leadership. He turns what should have been the end of a horrific day of shadowing into a dinner date and Trent finds himself answering the hard-hitting questions instead of his interviewee. Ted brushes off his accusation of greed with, "Wait, I'm supposed to be getting paid?" but Trent is completely caught off guard by Ted's "What do you love?"

The textual answer is "writing" and the fun fandom answer is "you," but if this is a Trent who still hasn't fully come out yet that's! A hell! Of a question!!! A closeted, queer individual's mind is going to jump to their biggest secret and, when offered an out, they're going grasp at it, so Trent eagerly agrees with Ted's guess of "writing" the same way Colin eagerly pulls the 'This is a gay bar? Haha, my mistake' card and makes a run for the door. Reading this interaction as Trent not just being gay, but potentially being closeted and unhappily married makes it less about the journalism (this strange coach likes me and thinks I can be a good person despite my invasive career choice) and more about his sexuality. Oh, no big deal, just having an intimate dinner with another good-looking man who's questioning me on love of all things and slowly inspiring me to be the best version of myself, which would require coming out to my wife again. This is a totally normal and not at all life-changing night! I definitely don't need to run away now!!

Via this reading Trent's article feels so loaded. Ted is "out there in the community" either "bravely or stupidly facing the music." That sounds a hell of a lot like a parallel to literally coming out and facing the music of a community's potential rejection, with Ted's American background/inexperience/unique personality acting as a stand-in for sexuality; the reasons he's labeled a "wanker" before anyone actually gets to know him - as the pub trio does while those very words are narrated by Higgins.

And then we have this:

"If the Lasso way is wrong, it's hard to imagine being right.... and though I believe that Ted Lasso will fail here... I can't help but root for him."

There are other elements at play here, like the football's celebration of ego and the threat of the club being relegated, but underneath it really sounds like a still-cynical Trent wanting to see the kind of changed world that those like Ted could bring about, but not really believing that it's possible. Given his history, is he really just talking about football when it comes to "the Lasso way"? I doubt it. Trent is potentially feeling trapped at this point in time, pessimistic to the point where yes, he still thinks that Ted will fail at football and creating a more inclusive, accepting community... but even still, Trent can't help but root for him. Of course he can't. He wants what Ted is offering. He needs it.

But then, of course, Ted succeeds! Not just in doing well by the club, but by the community as a whole. He maintains that inspiration and hope until, potentially, Trent felt like he could do something about his own situation. He found the nerve and strength to try again. So he comes out to his wife, they divorce, their daughter is happy, he goes on a date with a mustached man at the local pub, ditches him to try and 'interview' Ted, blows up his career because he realizes that his job is undermining the very thing he's been rooting for and he can't not give Ted a heads up, begins shadowing Ted as he looks for something "deeper," and then comes out to Colin, gazing wistfully across the water as he imagines being able to kiss a man after a win...

I'm not saying Ted Lasso is going to go there - and I'm DEFINITELY not saying there should be ANY accusations of queer baiting if/when they don't, because we've absolutely built the majority of this ship in fandom spaces - but I AM saying that if Trent's potential intersection of his history with Ted's influence and Ted's desire to shake things up while imagining bisexual triangles actually led to something... it would be a damn well done setup!

[yurislilygarden]

ʚїɞ Self Aware! Hazbin Hotel

ʚїɞ Their reaction after becoming self-aware and first thoughts about reader!

ʚїɞ Angel Dust and Husk / Part 2!

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ Word count: just about 1.1k

ʚїɞ Part 1! (Lucifer and Alastor)

ʚїɞ This is WAY shorter than I would like, but I suppose that the first part was more filler-like for the au😭 May rewrite it one day ngl, am not satisfied with how this turned out but I've been at this for way too long

Very few characters would notice something wrong on the first watch of the show, but wouldn't realize, nor become self-aware until the 2nd or further watch. 

While everyone's reaction would be different with different amounts of stages before total acceptance of the situation, they all would share the first emotion, simple disbelief. They would first need to even process the fact that they're not real, that they were created solely for the purpose of entertaining… something? Someone? In a completely different Universe. That everything that they thought had happened to them before they died didn't actually happen, they were never alive in the first place. Only after that did the emotions and reactions differ. The very first emotion or actual personal reaction would be:

Angel Dust

Irritation, a little bit of Anger, paranoid

Angel would be mainly irritated and somewhat angry due to realizing that all his pain was technically for nothing. The treatment from Val? His life back on earth that supposedly never happened? His life generally in hell? All that pain and suffering just to entertain someone? At first, he doesn't want to accept that it never happened, that he never existed, that he was never actually alive. That he’s just a 2D character. He just can’t.

He would become paranoid after the immense stress from noticing the little butterfly flying above them from time to time came in, after all, he had no way of knowing if he himself or others were watched only when they could see the little glowing motherfucker, or maybe they could be watched even without seeing them, without their knowledge. He would be a little disappointed in himself for not noticing anything earlier, especially since they don’t know just how long have you been watching them. He'd be up for drugs way more than ever, no, he didn't want to disappoint Charlie or anyone else by fucking up the progress he'd been doing, but surely they would understand looking at the whole picture right? He’d rather go back to being blissfully unaware than knowing he's not real if it means he's gonna feel like this. He hates it. He hates you.

At least at the start.

It was soon after he became self-aware that the others realized why he was acting more strangely than normal and filled him in on what they knew, which was barely anything, to tell the truth, but it was enough to get him thinking. Were you as bad as he first thought if you did nothing but watch them the whole time? He will blame Charlie for all the better thoughts of you, but he started thinking, what if you really can't do anything but watch? He knows others have mixed thoughts about what can you do, an example being whether you can only watch, or do you choose to just watch. He's on the ‘can only watch‘ team.

His feelings were mixed for a pretty long time. On one side, he thought he should be against the small glowing thingy, but there's also the other side seeing that you do nothing to them, just watch.

(I would say that he would have a little soft spot if you reminded him of Molly, his sister, but we don’t know anything about her. I’m guessing she was nice/good since she landed in heaven, so yeah, remind him of his sister in some way and there’s a soft spot he tries to hide.)

He was really negative at first, starting out as really irritated, but with time and help from the others (mainly Charlie since she didn't want anyone in the hotel to be against you), he did get to the neutral zone, and by the time any of them meet you, he would be in the more positive neutral zone.

Husk

Anger and worry

To say he's pissed would be the understatement of the century. The moment he processed his, everyone’s, situation and the disbelief passed, he could just feel anger, because how dare someone disregard their feelings, their whole damn existence like that? Do you think that they’re some sort of clowns that are supposed to entertain you?! Like most characters, he’s disappointed in himself as well for not noticing earlier. It’s even worse when there’s others who noticed before him and didn’t say shit.

But as much as he's pissed off, there's actually the feeling of worrying just under. What does it mean for them now that they realize they're just characters in a show, that they find out something they shouldn't? Can it fuck up their life on this side? Can it fuck up the whole city or more because of this? Should they try to continue living like they don't know shit or try to communicate with you or your world? Similar to Lucifer's, his mind is a mess.

Like everyone, he hates the idea, the knowledge, of the fact that they all are just some 2D characters created to be in some sort of a show to entertain people. Did that mean that his whole past of being an Overlord didn’t happen at all? That his supposed memories of that time were fake? Could he have been free from the deal if he had an actual choice in his actions?

He would keep reminding himself all the time about their situation even if he doesn’t want to, his mind just goes there without permission. He feels his skin crawl thinking about all the time that they’ve been watched, controlled, without knowing, for who knows how long. He would be in the middle when it comes to when all of the characters became self-aware, there were some before him, but there were also some people after him.

Reader can only see what they're meant to, and the characters realize it over time, but Husk knowing it leads to him sometimes trying to catch the small glowing butterfly in his paws when he is off screen/camera for you. Which he fails at every time as his hands just phase through your small form.

The others can just occasionally see him jumping up and down trying to catch the little shit or use his wings and try to catch your small form like that just to fail every single time.

Like with everyone else, you could have a small personal favor. You would have a sort of a plus point in his mind if you turned out to like gambling or card games, he would find the idea of playing with/against you somewhat enjoyable (he would think of gambling for answers, a deal where the one who wins a round will ask a question and the other has to answer to the best of their capability).

It would take longer than most, even with the others trying to help, to get him to the neutral zone, never mind the positive one. It was hard for him to see you in any other light than negative when they had so little information on you, for all they could know, what little they had could’ve been completely wrong. So his feelings start at practically despising you, then after a longer time going into simply not caring as much, shrugging off, if you will, and that wouldn’t change too much until he meets reader personally.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

｡⋆｡˚ ʚ Taglist ɞ ˚｡⋆｡

@laundrybear413

[fazedlight]

Plummet (Cat's perspective on Falling)

Cat had started so optimistic. Kiera, finally dressing as an adult? It was a promising development for her executive-assistant-slash-vigilante, one that suggested the kryptonian could possibly grow a backbone in the near future. Goodness knows Kiera desperately needed to come out of her shell. 

Cat had ignored the… well, cattiness emanating from the blonde. A bit of cynicism would’ve been icing on the proverbial cake, had it not heralded something darker.

But when Siobhan marched proudly into Cat’s office, showing her the security footage of Supergirl letting a dangerous criminal go, Cat knew something more was going on. And this morning she used my personal elevator. Perhaps she’s truly lost her mind, Cat thought. “It could be another Bizarro,” Cat said to a disapproving Siobhan, “Put this under your hat until we figure out what’s going on.”

---

Kiera seemed to only get more haughty over time. “You’ve branded me in the media as a girl scout,” the kryptonian said bitterly. “Everyone knows real people have a dark side.”

Where is this coming from?, Cat thought. Psychotic break, brainwashing? Carter loved that old TV show with the star treks, and once spent an entire month talking about mirror universes. Was this an evil Kiera with an invisible goatee? “I fear that you're having some sort of mental breakdown,” Cat said, “Don't worry, it happens to the best of us-”

But Kiera snapped back. “You are the most arrogant, self-serving, mean-spirited person I know.” Tell me how you really feel, Cat thought to herself, but she had to admit that those words struck a little close.

But that hurt was very rapidly replaced by a more primal fear as the kryptonian approached her. “You want to see what powerful really looks like?” Kiera said, “Watch.”

---

They say your life flashes before your eyes. That’s not what Cat saw. Nor did she have a single coherent thought, other than Carter’s face and endless screaming.

Luckily for her, her assailant didn’t kill her. Cat collapsed inelegantly to the ground, turning back up in a panic as the scornful kryptonian stared down at her. “True power, Cat,” Kara scoffed, “Is in deciding who will live, and who will die.”

Somewhere in the back of Cat’s mind - a stray thought as she tried to calm her pounding heart - she understood. She has all this power, but she couldn’t save her planet. Kiera was just as frustrated at her own powerlessness; her history would be enough to cause anyone to have a psychotic break.

Unfortunately, it didn’t change what Cat had to do next.

---

“People are in danger,” she said to James and Winn, as she shared her plan for a televised broadcast on the kryptonian’s erratic and terrifying behavior, “The public needs to be warned.”

“Miss Grant,” James started, “Look, I am sure that Supergirl is going to be fine soon-”

“Can you guarantee me that the public is safe?”

James and Winn shifted guiltily. I know this isn’t her, Cat wanted to say, I know this isn’t who she is. But Cat couldn’t carry a death on her shoulders of someone who trusted Supergirl because of her words. And Cat suspected that Kara - if the girl ever recovered - couldn’t bear that guilt either.

But she hated every moment.

---

Is there any recovery from this?

Kiera had been a wreck at work that day, scurrying around the office with slumped shoulders and stressed eyes, avoiding Cat entirely. Cat supposed she was breathing easier now that Kiera was back to normal, but it still evoked the same question - What happens with Supergirl next?

As Cat walked into her office that evening - intent to pour herself a stiff drink - she was surprised to find a metal tube set on her desk, with a folded piece of paper propped up against it. “I’m sorry,” the letter read, in familiar loopy, feminine writing. “I wasn’t myself.”

Cat opened the tube, noting a strange green glow inside. Kryptonite, she realized, sighing internally at the thought of Kara entrusting her with this sort of protection. “I don’t want you to feel unsafe. If you want me to stop interacting with you, I will,” the letter read. Cat closed the tube, mulling again over her assistant’s state of mind. Sighing, she placed the tube in a drawer, pouring herself a drink as she had planned, before making her way to her balcony.

She shouldn’t have been surprised to see the super when she stepped out, but somehow she was. Kiera sat far from the door, quiet as she looked out onto the city lights. Cat knew the super must’ve heard her, but she didn’t face her - perhaps waiting for the sendoff she thought she deserved.

Cat stepped forward quietly, reaching the railing of the balcony. And that’s what gave Kiera the courage to speak. “I love this city,” she said solemnly.

Cat stood silently, listening to the kryptonian’s words - weighing the tender passion with the agonizing remorse. “What I did to you, Miss Grant-”

“Oh please,” Cat said, shrugging off. “I’ve base jumped Kilimanjaro, do you really think you scared me?”

Well, that was a lie, and they both knew it. “Okay, yes, you did scare me.”

“I scared the whole city,” Kara lamented.

“It’s not going to be easy,” Cat said. “But if anyone can win this city back, it’s you.”

Kara nodded gratefully, biting back unshed tears. “Can I just… stay here for a while?”

“Of course,” Cat said softly. 

In the soft breeze and the quiet night, the two looked back over the city, and wondered what was to come.

----------------------------------------------------

I found it a really weird writing choice that Kara never apologized to Cat - or didn't seem to understand the fear she must've instilled in her, after throwing her off a building - so I tried to fix it here. (I have thoughts on Kara's relationship with kryptonite, but I will spare this post of that ramble.)

[lemotmo]

Thoughts and ruminations on 911 8x07

I just finished the episode.

So… before writing my thoughts down I took a quick look at my ask box to see what people said about the episode and I have to admit I was quite surprised to see so many people disliked it.

Because I have to admit… I really kinda liked this episode.🫣 Was it a filler episode? Yes. But I still liked it.🤷‍♀️ Sorry not sorry.

Athena’s storyline is interesting, because she is getting older and it might be a very interesting story for her to move on to the next phase in her career. I love how she finally realised that being a lone wolf might not be a good thing for her anymore.

I love how she used all of her instincts and clocked that rookie right from the start. I also really liked the actor playing the rookie. He did a great job there. I started out the episode liking him and as the story progressed, I slowly started realising (together with Athena) that this kid might just be bad news. It’s the way the story was set up and the way he reacted that made me suspicious about him. It was a great storyline for Athena in my opinion.

That Athena & Hen scene? *chef’s kiss*

And let’s be real here… Angela is such a wonderful actress. She pulled me right into that story. For once it wasn’t Athena going all lone wolf and breaking the rules, but she actually followed the rules this time. Which was very refreshing.

Then we have the hotshots storyline. Again… I liked it a lot. I laughed out loud a couple of times during the episode. It was fun. The whole Gerrard thing was funny. I mean… no, I don’t like the way they are absolving Gerrard of all his past wrongs, but it’s obviously the road they’ve chosen, so we have no choice but to go with it.🙄

As for Brad? He is one strange very volatile character, but Callum plays him so well. I’m looking forward to him riding along with the 118. Bobby will go nuts! I do wonder where they are going with the whole Brad thing. Why is he still there? There has to be a reason. 🤔

That scene with Bobby standing up to Brad. I mean, seriously… that was kinda hot. Bobby’s still got it. When Athena sees that video, she’ll break out the handcuffs, no doubt.😌

That brings us to Buck. His heart has been broken. He is allowed to suffer a little over that. We might not have liked Tommy and we all know that Tommy wasn't right for him, but that doesn't change the fact that Buck cared for him, so he will be sad about it. It's normal.

But the man obviously doesn’t have a clue who he really is. I hope they’ll explore his bisexuality a bit better during the next episodes. They need to do something with this.

The stress-baking was hilarious. So much food!😆 The whole Madney/Buck convo about the universe bringing that special person made me go all 👀👀👀👀👀👀. Maddie knows what’s up with Buck. She has known since season 7 and the whole Eddie & Tommy mix up. She knows! 😋

Buck got to experience some happiness as well, which was fun. The pregnancy announcement and his little moment with Jee were so cute. Loved that.

I also loved the whole Eddie taking Buck's phone, actively preventing him from texting Tommy.😏 This is the guy who told Buck to call Tommy last season and now he’s taking away his phone. I love it! It’s so symbolic. It also shows us a more playful Eddie who is trying to find his joy. That scene was so good.

We knew that Eddie was going to react differently to the break up, because Ryan mentioned it in an interview. This might be part of that. He knows what Buck needs as well. The man doesn't need pampering, he needs someone to take action, so Eddie took action. I love seeing Eddie so happy! Happy Eddie makes me happy!

That last Buck/Hen/Eddie scene was so good. I shows us a more happy Buck, a clear sign of him moving on, so I don't think we'll get any more 'calling Tommy' mentions next week. That scene also shows us a happy carefree Eddie, which was lovely to see!

I didn’t expect much progress in the whole Buck and Eddie story this episode, so I’m glad with what we got. I’m expecting some more Eddie next episode though. I think they want to really set up the narrative of him finding ‘joy’ again. It started in 7 and I think he’ll get more focus in 8.🤞🤞🤞

I know I talk about Eddie, Buck and Buddie a lot, because they are so important to me. But I don’t exclusively watch this show for them. I watch it for every character and I love all of these characters so much. 911 is my comfort show. I love it so much.

That being said though, let's focus on the Buddie front for a minute.😆 They recycled two more of the greatest Buddie NDE’s in this episode: the lightning strike (Buck) and the shooting (Eddie). Next week seems to have a drowning scene, which is something both Buck and Eddie went through. Buck with the tsunami and Eddie when he was buried alive. This has me sitting up for real! They are cooking up something big for Buddie. I can smell it in the air.

Okay, so overall conclusion?

Was it a filler episode? Yes, it was. But you know what? It was a good one. I thoroughly enjoyed it. 🤷‍♀️😁

Now off to answer some asks! 😋

[wowcatboys]

dw abt crazy detailed posts, just have fun writing!! i like reading all of them, short or long :D besides goth gfs 🔛🔝

what abt kayn when his goth gf, who‘s usually confident abt her style, suddenly starts questioning herself bc of her parents? n she spiraling, barely participating in band stuff, and even wanting to avoid kayn bc of it all

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HEARTSTEEL KAYN/ SELF-CONSCIOUS GOTH READER ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ SFW ♡ No TW's

KAYN

At first, Kayn assumes you're just feeling a little off. Who doesn't, every now and then? He tries to help you cheer up the only way he knows how—bothering you. Kayn blows up your phone even more than normal, shows up at your house at all hours to take you out "because he's bored", and is practically glued to your skin whenever you're together. Maybe he's not the best at all that conversation stuff, but his antics will be enough to get you back to your old self...right?

When that doesn't work, Kayn's attitude takes a turn for the worse. He assumes that the reason you're withdrawing is because you're finally fed up with his shit and can't handle him anymore. It's a slap in the face, and he's more upset than he'd like to admit. After all, you were supposed to be different! He would never have let you in if he thought you'd just ditch him.

Kayn does a little spiraling of his own, which obviously makes the situation ten times worse. Surprisingly, he doesn't immediately lash out at you. He's too confused about his emotions to do much other than give you an uncharacteristic cold shoulder. But his bad attitude during rehearsals, general irritability, and the scowl that darkens his face whenever anyone drops your name clues his friends in that something definitely happened between you two.

Thank god for Ezreal, because he just gets it and takes it upon himself to talk some sense into Kayn. He approaches Kayn bringing his favorite energy drink, hoping to give his sulking friend a reality check without getting something thrown at his head. Ezreal listens as Kayn gripes that you must be sick of him or something, but it's whatever, he's totally fine—

"Kayn," Ezreal cuts him off, not bothering to hide his eyes rolling behind his candy-pink sunglasses. "Talk. to. them. You're crazy about each other and it honestly just sounds like they're going through something. You need to be there for them instead of doing this whole hot-and-cold asshole routine."

Kayn grudgingly considers Ezreal's words. Yeah, maybe you could be going through something. But why wouldn't you just talk to him, then? He's still not convinced, and he's still a bit pissy, and he's still dodging your phone calls.

But then you show up to his apartment wearing a beige t-shirt and Kayn knows something is up. The goth baddie he knows wouldn't be caught dead in neutral tones. He snags your hand in his, makes a pit stop at the fridge to grab a can of your favorite drink (he writes it on the grocery list every week to make sure Yone keeps it in stock for you), and drags you into his room.

"Okay, my lil' batty," he sighs, sitting you down on his bed. He squishes your hand reassuringly. "No more acting weird, it stresses me the fuck out. What's up with you?"

Kayn's fuming when he finds out that your parents are putting you down. In his own strange, aggressive way, he gives you a pep-talk about not giving a fuck what anyone thinks. You're awesome and hot, why should you let anyone make you doubt that? He bumps your shoulder with his arm and gives you his signature cocky smirk. "I'm supposed to be the problem, remember? Don't ever let any-fuckin'-body convince you that you're less than perfect."

From then on it's Kayn's life mission to piss the hell out of your parents. Whenever he picks you up from your house, he shows up ten minutes early so he can smoke in the driveway and blast his music so loud it makes the front door rattle in place. He "sneaks in" at night, but always leaves the toilet seat up and muddy boot-prints in the hall so your parents know he doesn't give a shit about your curfew. And, if they have the nerve to confront him about it? Oh, boy... let's just say he has no issues making his opinions known, and he tells them exactly how fucking stupid it is of them to put you down.

Knowing that you're struggling with your confidence right now, Kayn makes extra effort to lift you up. He demands a selfie every day, and blasts you with a hundred drooling emojis and thirsty comments when you flash a peace sign in the mirror and show off your outfit. If he notices makeup or clothes you might like, he doesn't even stop to look at the price tag—straight into his bag it goes. Most of all, he tries to get you to stay with him as much as possible. If your parents are going to pressure you, well then, fuck your parents. You can sleepover at his place whenever you want. If it's privacy you want? He doesn't mind splurging on a studio apartment for you, just so you can have your own space away from your parents' negativity. (Just be warned—if he does pay for your apartment, he's gonna be crashing the place all the time. Make sure you've got his favorite snacks and an extra set of sweatpants on hand, because your couch is basically his second home.)