#she's like one of the only villains out of the main 7 that remains a villain the entire time!!!!

[erythristicbones]

unexpected side effect of deciding to redesign Nisha & Artemis & Apollo as an evil punk band bc its my story and i choose the self-indulgence......im actually getting really attached to Apollo now

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

spent a bit of time today writing out some thoughts on ford as a character and thought it might be fun to put them here. I think ford is a really interesting commentary on heroism and his role in gravity falls is specific and pointed. theres a lot more i COULD get into (the way he and Stan act as foils for example) but here I just want to explore the fundamental ideas of his arc which includes parts of his dynamic with Bill Cipher and Dipper.

I really love the way gf combines the ideas of the lone hero/adventurer (a classic hero trope) with the ideas of the mad scientist (a classic villain trope) to reveal the way they're really based in similar lines of thinking and emotional pitfalls. Ford's isolation & paranoia, his tendency to put his own body on the line, his (relative) willingness to endanger others for his cause...it all points out a neat overlap between the guy who wears all black and carries a gun at his hip and the guy who WOULD inject himself with some kinda substance in the name of Science. I think that's part of why from what I've seen the fandom can be pretty conflicted on Ford--even on a basic design level, he evokes strong and conflicting feelings.

A key moment to me in establishing the ideas of Ford's arc happens at the very beginning of Weirdmageddon--a strange point to choose maybe since it's so late in the show, but I feel like those three episodes beautifully encapsulate Ford's failures and his development. After realizing what's happened, Dipper is desperate to find Mabel and make sure she's all right. Ford tells him, there's time to find her later--right now we have to stop Bill before the weirdness spreads. I love the way that the show presents throwaway moments like this: they're not questioned in the moment, but they stick out to you anyway because they run so counter to the philosophy of the show. Through the past 2 seasons, not only has the show proven that saving Mabel is more important than stopping Bill, it's also proven (and proves again after this) that saving Mabel is essential to stopping Bill. Evil isn't defeated by one guy being brave enough to shoot a gun at it, it's defeated by a community that works and fights together. And, hilariously, Ford is captured within the first 7 minutes of the episode, making everyone else's jobs way more difficult.

To be clear, it would be a complete misunderstanding of the character to say that Ford prioritizes stopping Bill first because he doesn't care enough about Mabel or her safety. It's precisely because he cares so much that he doesn't look for her right away. Ford has bought thoroughly into the lie that Bill fed him, which is that devastating personal sacrifice is not only right & good, but necessary in order to accomplish great things. As long as Ford believes that lie, he remains Bill's perfect prey—even with a metal plate in his head, even 30 years after the initial manipulation. Ford will easily give up sleep, food, friendship, family, sanity, and his own life, if he can be convinced he's doing it for the right reasons. And he's very easy to convince! Ironically, despite being arguably one of the most formidable characters in the show, he's also arguably the weakest and most gullible of the main cast, because he's so obsessed with the idea of giving up everything for something greater than himself.

That lie of the moral necessity of self-sacrifice, the lie that makes it possible for Ford to give up his brother, lock himself in his basement, be angry when he’s brought back home, and nearly destroy the world, is heavily in the offing through the Ford-Dipper plotline of Dipper and Mabel vs the Future. Ford offers Dipper apprenticeship and tells him that he’s capable of handling it—but it would require personal sacrifice, giving up his childhood with Mabel to join Ford in his self-imposed isolation. A test of Dipper’s aptitude for that kind of sacrifice occurs in that episode: Ford nearly dies, and orders Dipper to let it happen so that the rift is kept safe. Dipper doesn’t even think before disobeying him. He doesn’t seem to consider it a decision. There's no thought of the greater good when his uncle needs him.

Later, talking to Mabel about the idea of joining Ford as an apprentice, he says how ridiculous it is--sees it for a fantasy. The image of heroism Ford presents is appealing, but it's a lie.

For Gravity Falls, a show with two central protagonists, a show arguing over and over that the only way to change things for the better is to work with, trust, and care for your loved ones, Ford's position is an interesting one. I'd argue that thematically he stands in a more relevant antagonist position than Bill Cipher. He represents everything that the show is poised against. He's set up carefully as the epitome of Cool, with a masterful buildup to his entrance, badass styling, and hero worship from Dipper (the closest thing GF has to an audience insert.) And then, slowly and subtly, the show reveals how the lie of the lone hero has convinced him to hurt himself and everyone around him, nearly to the point of destruction.

I love him dearly. The best awful guy of all time

[goodolddumbbanana]

[SUPERHERO AU] ASK AND ANSWER

Can you smile a little bit, Eclipse? You are making me look really bad right now, how unkind of you~~ (-Pre Dazzle-)

They two just beat the shit out of each other. Nothing new, guys, don't worry. I'm pretty sure Solar will get out, some way...

--- ANYWAYS, SOME FACTS:

- Sun used to call himself SUN when he still terrorized the world. He changed his name to The Kid napper after he met Jack and Dazzle.

- Solar hero's name is Eclipse. He is retired now, because the main threat (SUN) has disappeared but he still gets in front sometimes if something really bad happens.

- Earth is a billionaire, who is the daughter of Creator, the man that Sun has killed.

- Moon has his part time job as a scientist for the mafia. He uses them, of course, just to find someone.

1. Is Jack still Solar's son?

Yes. And he also has a terrible childhood.

Jack was born in a laboratory, an attempt to create weapons to protect humanity. Solar, as the earliest and most advanced Eclipse model who still remained, was responsible for the construction and handling of this pumpkin.

The project got cancelled because the head scientist disappeared, and Jack got scrapped, terminated right after that.

Solar doesn't care about Jack at first, (because reason related to this head scientist - Nexus) but seeing his creation just got thrown away and got saved in the hand of his hatred of the enemy (SUN) really changed his mind.

Luckily Jack got zero memories about that time and just grew up normally, like a good pumpkin that baby boy is. Until now....

2. Is Moon a parent in this?

Moon is still aroace. But recently, he just took on an apprentice named Molten.

3. What is Sun's tragic backstory? Why did he go ape shit?

Let's just say, something is not supposed to push too much. And also, Sun has no one, except Dark Sun.

4. What is Solar's power? What is Sun's power?

Sun is the nuclear bomb, the destroyer. He has the power of the actual Sun on his side. He is actually the one punch man in this universe. His magic is so powerful, he can just snap a finger and the universe just broke in half like a TWINK. No one can fight him at the physical level. The only way to stop him is to lock him down, and this, still not a good solution.

Solar has copy power. He can copy, absorb any type of power but only at the medium level and he can only forever possess this type of power if the person he copies is dead.

For example, if he copies Sun, he will have the power to fight God, as long as he keeps eye contact with Sun. But if Solar eats Sun, he will keep Sun's power forever.

Fun fact: Solar is super strong, has the ability to control machines, and change colour. (Fun questions, how many people Solar has eaten?)

5. Why did dazzle become a heroine?

She suddenly has power. She can fly, and also senses other emotions. (There are two people she couldn't sense anything from, her dad and that funky villain that she fight at night. )

Also, because Jack thinks it would be funny to be heroes.

6. Was Sun always a villain or did he start as a hero that turned bad?

He was just an assistant at first. He has no relation regard on the villain field, despite all people around him just ending up to be villains. Naive, easily to get startled, and optimistic. An idiot. He is still an idiot now, but with super power.

7. Why does he avoid Nexus' name?

Some people have stabbed his back. Nexus is just the only one he thought they would never do that to him.

8. Most importantly, what's the toxic yaoi ?

Anything happens between Dark Sun and Sun, anything happens between SUN and Solar pre Dazzle.

[hughjidiot]

Thoughts on Episodes 7 and 8 of TDI Season 2

Well I got to see the two newest episodes, and I have quite a few thoughts on them. As always spoilers below the cut.

Well it looks like Axel and Ripper are our double eliminations. And in a... really stupid way if I'm being honest. Axel gets voted off, Ripper freaks and grabs on as the Drone of Despair flies away with her and Chris just calls them both eliminated? Kind of an ass pull, won't lie. Oh well, that's Total Drama - you gotta take the good with the bad.

At least Axel lasted longer this time and we got some more depth to her, like that she has an artistic side being into painting and poetry and is somewhat of a romantic. And as I mentioned previously I found Ripper's character to be greatly improved over how he was last season, I found him way more likeable.

Also out is Zee. Not sure how exactly he knew everyone's secrets like that, it felt kind of out of nowhere. I'm gonna miss how hilarious he was, but at least he set up some drama before he left...

Caleb and Priya's subplot has taken a sharp turn: Caleb finally acknowledges he actually likes Priya as more than an alliance partner, they had their first kiss... and Zee goes and spills Caleb's original plan of only being nice to make an alliance. I can understand how some fans aren't happy that Priya is part of another major subplot after she was already one of the main characters of season one, but again this isn't a new thing for Total Drama. All I can say is I am interested in seeing where this goes, but it's not the subplot I'm most interested in.

Wayne and Raj didn't do a whole lot these episodes so I don't have too much to say. I like them well enough but still hope one gets eliminated so we can get some solo development for whoever remains. My guess is that Wayne will be going home at some point, and him getting separated from Raj in episode 8 was foreshadowing of that.

Damien has already found the immunity idol! Will be very interesting to see how that comes into play, especially with how Julia sent anonymous letters about the idol making Damien paranoid.

And speaking of which, Julia continues to increase her villain cred by messing with Damien's head and wearing down Zee until he spilled those secrets. She even messed with MK during episode 7; something MK wasn't surprised by and doesn't seem to be too upset about, but we'll see what comes of that.

And speaking of MK, holy fucking shit the start of episode 7? MK flat out teasing Julia for "liking her"?? And the way Julia awkwardly tries to deny it??? At this point I'll be genuinely surprised if Mkulia doesn't become canon.

Oh yeah, and Owen was the special guest star of episode 7! And apparently he has some great genes since it looks like he hasn't aged in 15 years. And he's now canonically the winner of season one. I always preferred to think of Gwen as the real winner (she was one of my faves in Island) but oh well.

And that's everything. Wasn't crazy about a couple of things in these episodes, but overall I still really like this season. Somewhat interested in what happens next with Priya and Caleb, and very interested to see what will go down with MK and Julia.

[belit0]

Indra with prompt 7 where reader and him have just gotten married?? Btw, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR WORK AND YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD!! ALSO, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING FOR INDRA HE’S MY FAV ❤️❤️❤️

7) Them exploring each others' bodies, but not in a sexual way.

AAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LIKING MY STUFF!! I FEEL YOU SO BAD WITH THE INDRA SITUATION

He is also my favorite, and it destroys me how he has so little recognition and content to his name. People need to appreciate the hell out of this man HE'S THE CREATOR OF ALL THE CHARACTERS WE LOVE OMG

(Y/N) never heard him speak, at least not directly to her. From the moment Indra chose her as his future wife, she has only heard his voice from afar, addressing her parents or people in her village. He never paused to even greet her, introduce himself, or explain.

Indra came to her small village looking to hire manpower for construction in his territory, having heard rumors (Y/N)'s family was the best in the area when it came to edification. The Otsutsuki had recently become famous after destroying his brother and winning an ancestral war, crowning himself as a man to be feared and respected.

No one wanted to be in the spotlight of his attention, and people preferred to give him whatever he wanted to avoid perishing in the attempt. The man arrived at their home with blueprints to execute his new settlement, having changed his last name so as not to be associated with his father's or younger brother's image.

It didn't take long before he crossed paths with (Y/N) by pure chance, while he was finalizing details with her father on how they would carry out the constructions and with what materials. They were sitting at the main table one night, as she entered her house to go to bed. The girl observed how her father was tense and alert in front of the presence of such a person, and when they exchanged glances, tried to warn her wordlessly to hide.

The Otsutsuki fixed his eyes on her, and that was the moment he decided to take her as his wife. For the remaining days, he continued to make arrangements with her family, and no one could stop him from taking her with him when everything was planned. Saying no to Indra was inevitable doom, and (Y/N) understood she had to obey his orders if she wanted to protect her people.

He took her along with a convoy of villagers from her hometown, who went to the new and recently founded Uchiha territory to lend a hand. The work lasted months, of complicated execution and with no room for mistakes under the frightening gaze of the most villainous man in the world, but it was accomplished.

When everything was finished, her family had to leave, and (Y/N) could not join them.

There was no formal wedding, with the Otsutsuki reluctant to follow such protocols, and simply proclaimed her as his wife in front of the entire Uchiha clan. People knew not to mess with her and respected her as Indra's legitimate wife, but that was all.

Life continued to go on as usual, and the woman had to adapt to her new destiny. Her so-called husband dedicated himself to ignoring her, pretending her existence was unimportant and attending to a million other matters before even looking at her.

(Y/N) did not let his attitude discourage her, and she thrived despite his indifference. She found friends and supporters, and learned about Indra from them. At the moment, the Uchiha clan consisted of all those who supported him on the battlefield and chose him as their leader. Everyone spoke with respect and admiration about the Otsutsuki, and the girl came to know his life story from the accounts of others.

Indra was a tormented and haunted man, someone hurting, and perhaps he just needed space before he could approach her in a concrete way.

She waited, and found a way of life that made her happy in spite of everything. Her husband never limited her or gave her any orders, letting her be free and able to build her day-to-day life as she wished. If she wanted to devote herself to learning ninjutsu, she could. If she preferred to dedicate her time to more mundane tasks or do nothing at all, that was fine too.

It took a couple of months of cohabitation before the man finally got a good look at her, and it happened on a night of a full moon and pouring rain. Usually, the Otsutsuki disappears with the fall of the sun, and (Y/N) presumes it's for training, but with the weather as such, there's no way. The ground turned to mud and there is no visibility because of the rain, the water bringing icy winds in tandem.

Taking no qualms about his presence, the girl continued with her evening routine as if the man was not there, playing the same game of indifference. She finished with all the actions required to get into bed, coolness not helping to keep her away from the sheets.

What she didn't expect was to feel the mattress sink a few seconds after she laid down, Indra settling down next to her for the first time in months. Not speaking to her also came with not sharing a bed, and (Y/N) always wondered where the Otsutsuki slept.

Her heart races and she suddenly becomes nervous, never having had to face this situation in all the time they've been together. She fixes her gaze on him, determined not to be intimidated by the man with whom she is supposed to share her life, and for the first time, she gets a closer look.

He is devilishly handsome, with defined and dreamy features, a sharp jaw, and elongated fox-like eyes. He wears his hair tied in a bun, with a few pieces raining raggedly down his face. Indra is a dream, and (Y/N) gets even more nervous.

"You're agitated...would you rather I spend the night somewhere else...?" According to people's accounts, Indra seems to spit fire when he speaks, but the way he phrased the question carries a hint of teasing and sarcasm.

"No... I do believe it's about time." She decides not to flinch in front of him, and face him with the same level of intonation. They both glare at each other, a duel of stares (Y/N) is not willing to lose.

The girl analyzes the man, sitting on the bed against the headboard and imitating his posture. Indra is not wearing a T-shirt, only some baggy pants. There is a huge scar on his chest, dangerously close to his heart, and looking fresh. Fearlessly, (Y/N) runs her fingertips over it.

It has a terribly smooth texture and decorates his body as if it was meant to fit in that particular spot. "Where did this come from?" she asks without looking him in the eye, sight fixed where her fingers still touch his skin.

"Family squabbles, if you might call it somehow." She can hear a smirk in his words, as the Otsutsuki puts his hand against her cheek, touching a mark (Y/N) has carried since being little girl.

"What about this?"

"Learning to chop wood with my father, if you might call it somehow." She dares to connect with his eyes again and sees him smiling genuinely. The stories and narrative construction people provided about Indra portrayed him as a cold and heartless being, a tyrant with so many murders on top of him as to be uncountable, an evil and sinister man.

Perhaps they were all wrong, and no one really knew him.

Feeling reaffirmed by him, she takes his arm and looks at the skin closely. Another huge scar looking much older decorates the surface. "First time I made use of one of my techniques to defend... someone." There is a hint of nostalgia in his words, and (Y/N) assumes he is referring to a too-distant past.

A huge hand closes over the curve of her waist and draws her close until they are mouth-to-mouth. Surprised by his boldness, she allows herself to indulge in the sweet, first kiss she shares with her husband, feeling his fingers roam her figure over her clothes.

"I wondered what it would feel like to touch you once and for all."

[maxwell-grant]

Reading you post about Seth made me imagine a world where Ryu winds up taking Seth on as a student. I thought Ryu's journey to overcome the Satsui no Hado could give him insight on how to help Seth overcome their own hatred, and meta-textually, becoming the main character student is about as far from trying to be the final boss that you can be

Hmm, you know, that is frankly pretty damn inspired and I don't think it's something we've ever really seen before in a fighting game, a former final boss getting kicked so far down the ladder that they wind up being the main character's student. It's the kind of sheer indignity and downgrade that would destroy most villains, but also, you can't destroy or make Seth less dignified than they already are, and their SFV story opens up a number of possibilities to take them afterwards if brought back. There's even some existing parallels between Seth and Akuma that could be worked into this, and Seth's already dropped out of official villain status enough to not be missed as one.

Main issue I have with this though is that "Final Boss gets beaten by Ryu, changes himself to become more like Ryu, and becomes a redeemed pseudo-ally to Ryu while still being plenty intimidating and arrogant to stay in in-character and remind you they used to be a Final Boss" is already very much Sagat's thing and you are never, ever, on your best day, not coming up short next to Sagat. Honestly even Akuma started heading there a bit in V. And it works for them because their appeal as characters isn't really mandated by them remaining full-on villains, they are cool badasses who get to sit in more morally grey clubs. Seth's humiliated and tragic aspect is what sets them apart from all the other main villains and I wouldn't want to see it done away with, but you can't really have them stay static, especially with 6 being serious about developing and pushing all of the characters forward in a way the series never really did before.

I've never been super in love with the idea of Ryu sitting down and training a new character to take his place, part of why I'm glad that Sakura turned out the way she did and that both her and Ryu were freed from the burden of the most tired story idea you could possibly think of with them. But there is a world of difference between "Ryu mentors a rookie who looks up to him into a new fighter because, idk he's just nice like that", and "Ryu has to mentor a monster that once tried to kill him and lay waste to the world with his exact power, to help them as he was helped and try to stop them from being consumed by hatred just as he once was". The former is just, eh, you can get a decent version of that by playing World Tour, but the latter, well, there's a pitch there, there's stakes, there's a story worth telling.

Ryu putting himself on the line, abdicating from his journey, possibly getting on really bad terms with people he knows (Is Chun-Li gonna be okay with this after all the work she put into destroying Shadaloo for good? what about Ken, who's JUST had his life ruined to shit by Shadaloo leftovers, how's he gonna feel? At minimum he's gonna have C.Viper and Juri and Abel and Guile on his ass 24/7 because they are not letting this pass), to stop the Shadaloo-Satsui cycles of violence and help a victim of them who can't be trusted, but also can't get up on their own and has no one even trying to save them, no one. Ryu had Ken, he had friends, he has Sagat to eternally remind him of the consequences and push him to be a better man, he had Dhalsim, he had Gouken (which I think was too much, old man should have stayed dead, not a single story in the franchise wouldn't be better served by Gouken staying dead), in the manga he even had Birdie and I like that so it happened shut up, where as Seth has nothing and no one other than people who tried to use them, and people who very justifiably think Seth needs to stay dead and only endangers others by being alive.

Nobody on the planet is gonna think Seth is remotely worth the effort of saving, except for Ryu, who wouldn't wish what they're going through even on his worst enemy. There's like an interesting tension here, of whether Ryu is doing something incredibly stupid because he doesn't understand firsthand what Shadaloo scum are actually like and is just empowering a monster to kill them all eventually (something that Guile would probably say to him), whether he's just trying to help someone the way he wishes he'd been helped and not thinking about the risk, whether he's actually being very practical because redeeming Seth is a net positive for humanity that only he can achieve (well really it should be Dhalsim and Gouken's jobs but, they can't be fucked), how much of this is him acting from pure kindness versus a pragmatic understanding that he is in a position to stop the next Akuma or Bison from forming even if no one is gonna help him do it, the toil it takes on him, and so on.

Again, there's a story here. Not sure if I'd want this like, canonically, but there's something really good here. That could be as good a justification as there ever was for a story to remind us why Ryu is the Hero even when they're not actively at the center of things.

[ealienkreations]

Ok so I just last night/this morning finished Panacony act 2 boss and I wanna talk about stuff.

Spoilers for basically everything that is out for Honkai right now.

So I've been streaming my gameplay to my friends who had finished the boss before I did. Now my team through the entire game has remained relatively the same. Ratio has been on the team the entire game and Natasha and Aventurine since I got them have been main stays with only one member being swapped (I used Dan Heng during the Loufu and Arlen during Panacony).

Now up to that point, I had not struggled with bosses at all. I was accidently 5 levels above Cocolia (I was told she was level 40 not 35) and the second Boss was a cake walk with Ratio and Aventurine on the team. (Like no joke, my entire team took barely any damage until phase 3 of that fight)

So by the time I got to Panacony, my friends were joking that they hoped I struggled.

Which leads me to the Meme. Because that fight took me 3 or 4 tries simply because he kept killing Natasha who I needed alive to keep everyone else running. (Thankfully between all outs and follow ups, I was mostly able to pick who to sacrifice to the snatch.)

But Peacock Aventurine gave my friends so much trouble. We're talking 5, 6 or even 7 runs with multiple different team set ups. And they were both convinced my team would not be able to stand against him either.

Now I went in blind (I guessed the villain was Adventurine because my writer brain be like that and I went "oh he's either dying or the villian") so I didn't know his weaknesses but turns out he was weak to lighting, which was Lucky for me with Arlen on the team.

Something else is I went into that fight at level 50 with only my second Equilibrium. My friends had their 3rd. I had been level grinding all day to get to T40 and get the best relics I could for the team which gave me tons to spare for leveling up the best relics.

But essentially I ended up with everyone over 1000 health with the lost being Natasha at 1666. All my attackers have 1000 or more attack and pretty high defence (I managed to somehow get Ratio to like 300 or 3000 or something which was higher than Aventurine) and a lightning and attack boost on Arlen.

So I went into this fight, not even taking any consumables because this was more a "let's see what happens" kinda run so I didn't want to waste them.

Naturally, Aventurine and Ratio couldn't do much since Imaginary (although Ratio's follow up did do roughly 2% to 3% so that was pretty good.

Arlen was an absolute star in that fight. He was doing huge amounts of damage and stamina breaks. Like I'd only heard that he wasn't a good character to use but I chose him over Serval because I really like Arlen.

I also have no AoEs on the team aside from Arlan's Ult. Although Ratio and Aventurine decimated the dice game with follow ups every time.

So phase 1, while it took a bit (nowhere near as long as the meme though) it wasn't too bad since my strategy was use Ratio as a skill gainer, use Arlen for damage since he doesn't use skill points and he has the weakness, heal Arlen with Natasha and put shield up with Aventurine.

Natasha and Arlen did come close to dying but I was able to use Nat's skill or ult to fix the damage.

Then phase 2 happened and this was what my friends were warning me of (basically saying the dice thing was stupid)

Again thanks to my shielding, Ratio and Aventurine were fine and Arlen was occasionally able to squeak by. ( Plus Peacock Aventurine rolled a 4, 5 and 6 consecutively. So that was a pretty lucky one. Like I thought it was impossible for him to roll below a 7.)

But I didn't even struggle with that phase either because I again just stuck with the same strategy.

And Arlen was able to finish the job and win me the fight.

Like I was genuinely shocked and my friends were both proud and annoyed that I have basically never really had to change my team up that much simply because I built a good one on accident.

The most I did for research was looking at what relics and light cones worked best for each character.

And I also for some reason managed to get Arlen a like 36% boost in every dmg type in the game. I have no idea how, maybe it's from all the relics I fused into his worn set. I dunno.

I genuinely might take pictures of the stats and post them because it was absolutely ridiculous.

I even got a video of the entire fight as proof that it really did happen, it's currently on my PS5.

Like I was actually the one that made my friends realize that, if built right, Ratio is a beast because his follow up attacks decimated so many bosses.

But this time it was Arlen's time to shine and I'm so proud of that.

Oh also side note, my favs are Ratio, Aventurine, Arlen and Dan Heng (both regular and dragon version)

[overlordofthelollipopguild]

Broken Souls Mend Hearts: Chapter 98: The Captain's Swan -- a Captain Swan, OUAT fanfic

CS REUNION!!!!

Read on FFN or AO3.

Note: I figured out Killian's travel plans. Killian was traveling from somewhere in Maine with no money except his gold, so I'm thinking he walked/hitchhiked to the nearest city, found a cash for gold/pawn shop, and got money for a bus ticket. So he walked/hitchhiked to Portland, Maine (let's say that's two hours south of Storybrooke by car, so with hitchhiking that could take anywhere from 5 to 7 hours), so he gets to Portland by 1 p.m., gets money, gets a bus to New York City because he’s got his compass (check out Chapter 20: Little Talks). Bus ride is 7hrs and 49mins. He gets on the bus at 4 p.m. (after at least getting a little bit of food), arrives in New York at nearly 12 a.m. so he checks into a motel and sleeps until 8 a.m. Voila!

Also, keep in mind that as far as Killian knows, Zelena is evil and the villain, so that will be mentioned a few times in this chapter. They’ll find out the truth in Storybrooke.

Also, this chapter is rated M, possibly explicit, for depictions of sex. Fair warning. Like they’ve been separated 8 months, so I can’t blame them for wanting to get reacquainted.

Likely this will be the only smut I write for this fic. Sorry Krystal!

If you do not like smut and want to skip, you can start from when Killian says “So we’re alone?” And control+F to  “Her head rested on his shoulder as she threw her arm over his chest”.

Then skip again from “As she kissed him, her fingers danced down his skin to the towel around his waist, loosening it so that it fell to the floor.” And control+F to “When her soul returned to her body, Emma’s stomach growled.”

There isn’t just smut in the chapter, there’s also some emotional moments and Walsh does show up at one point to tie up that loose end.

Chapter 98: The Captain’s Swan

Emma never woke up early on Saturdays, especially Saturdays when Henry was staying over at a friends, but her anticipation from yesterday hadn't worn off. All day yesterday, she looked over her shoulder constantly wondering if someone, if he, would pop out at her. She couldn't focus on work and even got home before remembering she needed groceries. Instead, she ordered Chinese take-out, glad that Henry was staying over at Avery's house for the weekend.

Last night, she tried to focus on whatever she could find on television, and when that didn't work she cleaned. She actually deep cleaned until she was bone tired. Sleep only came due to physical exhaustion. When she woke up an hour ago, the feeling that something big was happening remained with her. Emma couldn’t even enjoy her coffee due to the emotional jitters she experienced. 

Needless to say, Emma wasn’t in a good mood this morning. 

Her eyes watched the time on her phone like she was expecting someone, which she wasn’t no matter what her heart told her. No one was coming. Certainly not a pirate straight out of her dreams. 

There was a knock on her door. 

Her heart skipped a beat, even as her head wondered who it was, hoping it wasn’t Walsh. Her feet carried to the door before her mind caught up, her hand turned the lock with an audible click, why wasn’t she looking through the peephole? It didn’t matter. The door was already cracking open. Her heart went to her throat.

Blue eyes and a wide, infectious smile greeted her. “Swan, at last.” He breathed her name like a prayer. 

It was him. Her dream pirate. No fucking way. Emma couldn’t breathe as her eyes drank in the sight of him. “Killian.”

His expression grew surprised, before Emma unthinkingly, instinctively, reached up, gripping him by the collar of his jacket and pulling him to her lips. The moment their lips met, a breeze of magic rushed between them and everything flashed in her mind. 

They met at night outside of Regina’s house. She was bringing Henry home. 

“Killian Jones. Deputy of Storybrooke. Mind if I ask what you are doing with the Mayor’s son, Miss Swan?”

She remembered his protectiveness over Henry. How much of a father he was long before Henry called him “Dad.” 

"I'm not saying that. I'm saying that Henry needs to believe that someone believes in him. Just because the curse isn't real to us, it doesn't mean that it isn't real to him. He needs you to believe him, Emma. Go prove him right.”

His smirks any time she got one over on Regina. His affirmations of support no matter the hurt it caused him, so long as she felt better and was comforted. 

Coffee and notes. He made it a habit, a routine for them. One she looked forward to every morning. 

He could read her so well. Knew all of her thoughts and emotions just by a look. 

"You're something of an open book.”

"Am I?" 

"More than you know.”

Killian worked hard to open her heart up to him, to love. 

"I know that you aren't one to let go and take a leap of faith. Your walls are a tower where you hide away, but you're not waiting for your prince to come rescue you. You're protecting yourself because you believe that anyone who comes near your tower is an ogre out to do you harm. But know this, love, I'm not an ogre. I want nothing more than your happiness and I know that it's too much for me to ask you to allow me to climb that tower, or you to let yourself out of it. So I won't. I'm ready and willing to wait for you, because you are more than worth any wait. Even if I have to wait twenty or fifty years or even an eternity for you, my Swan, I will."

Her first and only Christmas with him and Henry. The happiest Christmas she’d ever experienced. Their first kiss in the hospital after his accident. Their first date on the beach getting to know each other. Their first time together in the lighthouse.

Giving him True Love’s Kiss and breaking the Curse over the town. 

"What do I have to do?”

"Only True Love's Kiss can break this curse. You have to believe in his love for you, and your love for him.”

"I don't know if I can.”

"Stop thinking, and just feel. Listen to your heart.”

"I love you, Killian."

Learning that the man she loved was Captain Hook, a character straight out of a children’s story she grew up with, but nothing like she ever imagined. 

"Who are you?”

"Killian Jones. But most people have taken to calling me my more colorful moniker…Hook."

“Hook? As in Captain Hook?”

"I'd say at your service, milady, but pirates tend to not have good relations with royals.”

Ending up in the Enchanted Forest and having to find a way home. Climbing the beanstalk together and re-committing to each other. Telling him about Neal and the pain he caused, opening herself up to him completely, giving him her Swan pendant. 

"I wore it, to remind myself never to trust anyone again. I held onto it, as a reminder of what Neal did to me, but I don't want to live in the past anymore. What you told Anton, on the beanstalk, about how you realized you didn't have to be alone anymore...it made me realize that I don't have to hold onto the past anymore. Yeah, I'll never forget what Neal did, and I doubt that I'll ever forgive him for it, but I've let his actions, the memory of him, hold me back from love and trust for ten years. I don't want to be held back anymore. I want you to have it. You don't have to wear it, or even keep it really, because, well Neal gave it to me, and you probably hate that, but...I want you to have it anyway, because I want it to remind you that you are the reason that I'm letting go of Neal. That you're the first person who I've been able to open up to in a long time. I want it to remind you that...that I trust you.”

"I'd be honored to wear it. I love you, Emma."

Henry helped her find her happy ending. Sweet, amazing, smart Henry, her wonderful son, ever the optimist whenever she was in doubt. The only who truly believed Killian would make it home from the Enchanted Forest when no one else did.

“Grandpa always says that we have to have hope. That we have to have faith that everything will work out. I know that dad may be hurt, and it may be really, really bad, but I believe that he'll make it. He'll pull through, and then he'll find his way back home.”

 "Optimism must've skipped a generation.”

"Maybe, but you can't give up. Grandma once told us in class, when we were making birdhouses, that if someone loves you they will always find you. And Dad loves you, doesn't he?”

“Yes. And I love him.”

"Then he'll find you.”

"Thank you, Henry. Come here, kid. I love you.”

"I love you, too.”

Tears came to her, remembering that that was the first time she ever told Henry she loved him.

Finding out she was pregnant again. Terrified she’d have to go through it alone, because Killian hadn’t made it home yet. Telling Killian the news.

Her and Killian proposing to each other. He kept his mother’s ring for centuries and deemed her to be worthy enough to possess it. It was the ring she still wore on her finger to ward off Walsh. 

"Marry me?”

"Swan, what are you doing? You're depriving me of my romantic proposal.”

"You were going to propose?”

“Someday.”

“Well, I guess I saved you some trouble then?”

"You're proposing now?”

"I'll say yes, on one condition."

“What?"

"Well, I proposed first. So, don't you think you should say yes first?”

"If the lady insists. Yes, I will marry you, Emma Swan.”

"Yes, I'll marry you, Killian Jones.”

They were so happy for so long, and everything was going perfectly. Neverland and all the baggage that nasty adventure came with rushed back. 

Liam’s birth on the Jolly Roger. 

“I never got to hold Henry like this. Things will be different this time. I’m not missing another day in Henry’s life, and I’m not going to miss a day of Liam’s.”

“Nor will I.” 

“We love you, Liam Jones. You have no idea how happy we are that you’re here.”

Liam. Her baby. She left him, choosing Henry because Henry would be alone. 

“How do we know what’s best?”

“We…we’ll have to…we have to give them both their best chance.”

“Henry can’t be alone. But Liam needs me too.”

“I know. But, I…I think you and I both know what we need to do.” 

“This isn’t fair. Why couldn’t Regina’s price be her magic? Or her title, or something that didn’t involve us making the hardest decision of our lives?”

“I don’t know. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

“I know that you won’t remember me, but I want you to know that I love you so much. In my heart, I will remember you everyday. I promise. So, you be good for your dad. He’s going to have a hard time, and he loves you so much, but he’s not going to be in a good place. He will be so overprotective of you, so let him, even though it’ll probably drive you crazy. But he loves you, and he will put so much energy into giving you everything you deserve. You will be so so so loved, and I am so sorry that I’m going to miss all of it. I’m so sorry that I won’t be there. I wish more than anything that your brother and I could go with all of you. That we could be there for you. But life isn’t fair, and it sucks. But you are so lucky to have your dad, and your grandparents, and so many people who will be there for you. I hope that you miss me, but I really hope that you don’t either.”

Her parents. David and Mary Margaret. Prince Charming and Snow White. 

"Well, he thinks that you're Snow White, right? He thinks David is Prince Charming. You guys are True Love, so that makes you my parents.”

“Huh? Well, I have a kid. You'd think that I'd remember something like that.”

“Yeah. You'd think.”

"You do kind of have my chin. And my eyes. Hell, I think you have David's nose too.”

“Please, you just want Emma around so you can go into mother hen mode and molly coddle her during the pregnancy.”

"That's not true."

"I always knew you'd be a daddy's girl."

They hadn’t abandoned her. They loved her so much, but she was the Savior. She needed to break the Curse. 

"We're together, finally, and I can't help but think you're not happy about it.”

"Oh, I am. But see, here's the thing. No matter what the circumstances, for twenty-eight years I only knew one thing. That my parents sent me away.”

"We did that to give you your best chance.”

"You did it for everyone, because that's who you are. Leaders, heroes, princes, and princesses, and that's great, a-and amazing, and wonderful. But it doesn't change the fact that, for my entire life, I've been alone.”

"But, if we hadn't sent you away, you would've been cursed, too.”

"But we would've been together. Which curse is worse?"

“But Henry and Killian changed that?”

"Coming to Storybrooke changed that. Henry, Killian, you, and David. All of it. I have a family now. It's all I ever wanted. I'm...I'm really happy I finally found you guys.”

"We are so so happy that you found us too.”

Henry. God, she did give Henry away but he found her.

“I gave him up because I couldn't be a mother. At the time, Neal had proved to me that I couldn't be loved. That I didn't deserve it. I knew that if I kept Henry, he would've loved me unconditionally, but I didn't think that I deserved his love. The doctor tried to get me to change my mind, he even told me the baby was a boy after I had told him that I didn't want to know what it was. But...But I couldn't...I told the doctor that I couldn't be a mother. I wasn't fit to be a mother. I didn't even look at Henry, because I knew that if I had seen him, I would've begged them to let me keep him. The first time I saw Henry was when he found me.”

Graham. His shoelace which she still kept in her jewelry box. She stopped wearing it because she didn’t remember why she even had it, but Emma knew it wasn’t something that could be discarded. Oh god, he was her first true friend to die, the first funeral she went to…she and Killian named their son for him. 

August. He came with her, he left her, the wardrobe could’ve taken two, but it didn’t and she grew up alone. He was family now, a brother to her and Killian, uncle to their sons. 

Facing Neal and all the past pain he caused. 

Being the Savior. Bringing back the happy endings. Finding and building her family. 

Her friends. Her family. 

Separating again because of another fucking Curse. 

“I know this isn’t fair, but I need you to promise me something else.”

“Anything.”

“It’s impossible.”

“I don’t care.”

“Promise me that you’ll find us. Promise me that you will find a way back to me and Henry. Find us.”

“As you wish.” 

It was all back. Emma Swan knew exactly who she was now and every part of her was back in it’s rightful place. Slowly, she pulled away, her hands gripping his coat collar, unwilling to let him go again. “You found us.”

“Aye,” Killian rested his forehead against hers. “That was True Love’s Kiss. It doesn’t work with memory loss, so I take it that you remembered me?” His sweet, dimpled smile sent her heart soaring. 

“Not entirely.” Emma said, just breathing him in. God, he was back, he found her, he kept his promise. “Bits and pieces. I don’t think Regina’s spell was foolproof.” She pulled him fully into the apartment, not wanting any nosy neighbors to question why some guy in strange clothes was kissing her. 

The apartment door shut with a click and they stood in the entryway, holding each other, drinking  in the sight of each other. “How did you find us?” Emma asked, hand going around his neck to play with the curling ends of his hair. He needed a haircut and a beard trim, but damn if he didn’t look fine. His Enchanted Forest clothes certainly screamed menacing pirate, and Emma loved the look. She didn’t know why he never offered to dress up for her before, but Emma was going to make him from now on. 

Something pained flickered in Killian’s eyes, before a strained smile appeared. “The compass you gave me on my birthday. When I came through the portal, I meant to use it to navigate to the nearest city. It wasn’t pointing north. I followed it, ended up in Portland, Maine. Then I just took a bus in the direction it pointed and ended up here.” His hand reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a blue vial. “This is a memory potion, but looks like you won’t need it.” He set it on the kitchen counter.

“Henry might.” Emma said, taking Killian’s hand and hook in hers. She missed him so much. “He doesn’t remember like I do, but he’s been having dreams of Storybrooke.” 

That only made Killian more curious. He supposed when they returned, Regina might have some answers. 

Emma asked the one question that nagged most at her. “Where’s Liam?” Her baby was alive. The baby she thought lost forever was alive and happy and healthy as she knew he would be with Killian. Her entire being ached to see him and hold him again.

“He’s safe.” Killian reassured, cupping her face. “He’s with my brother.” 

“You’re trusting August with an eight month old?” Emma teased.

That odd smile was back. There was a story there. “Where’s Henry?”

“At a friend’s house.” Emma said, leaning in. “I’m picking him up in the morning.” 

A smirk formed on his handsome face. “So we’re alone?”

Emma grinned into his lips. “Yes.” Pressing her lips to his could never convey just how much she truly missed him and how happy she was to see him, but she sure as hell was going to try.

Killian pulled her close, deepening the kiss. It had been too, too long since they’d been together. Every fiber of his being missed her; his heart ached without her; his soul cried out for her. Overjoyed at their reunion, Killian could only express it all in this kiss where relief, love, passion, and joy united together, saying everything that words could not. 

Ignoring their burning lungs, the couple leaned further into each other. 

His coat fell from his shoulders, so Emma gripped him desperately by neck, attempting to meld them into one being. 

“Too many clothes.” She mumbled, hardly taking her lips from his. Her hands slid down his waistcoat, unbuttoning the red brocade swiftly. 

Killian grinned into her kiss as the vest met the same fate as the coat. “I missed you.” He pushed into her, her back hitting the island behind them. “Gods, Emma I thought about you every moment of every day.” His fingers nimbly undid the buttons of her pajama shirt. 

Emma eagerly let her shirt fall from her, pressing her bare chest to him. 

He groaned into her. 

Her hands pulled down his suspenders. Why the fuck was he even wearing suspenders? Too many layers. She practically clawed at his shirt to get it off. 

They broke their kiss briefly to discard his shirt. 

Emma gripped his forearms as she lead him further into the apartment. “Bedroom, now.”

He followed her command letting her haul him to her bedroom. He kicked the door closed behind him before hauling her in for another kiss. Killian spun her around, pressing her into the bedroom door, lifting her legs around his waist. 

Emma moaned as his hardening cock rubbed against her through their remaining layers off clothes. “Fuck.” Her hips ground into him, creating friction they desperately needed. “Killian, I missed you so much.” 

His lips danced down her collar bone, pausing to suck at a sensitive spot along her pulse. He breathed in the scent of her, content to kiss her here for eternity, sucking hard enough to leave bruising. 

Her hips undulated against him as her need grew. She hadn’t orgasmed properly since before Neverland, having frustratingly little success in her solo efforts for the past eight months. Emma pushed him away a bit, letting her legs fall, quickly shimmying out of her pants and underwear. 

Killian swallowed seeing her naked form for the first time in so long. Gods, she was radiant. He pulled her back to him, fingers dancing along her stretch mark scars. “I haven’t had a lot of privacy these past months, so I’m not sure how long I’ll last.”

“Me either.” Emma admitted. Her hands unbuttoned his pants and pushed them downwards.

Killian stumbled back as he kicked off boots and pants, falling ass first onto her bed.

She laughed at the sight he made before helping pull everything off. Then he was naked before her except for his hook and brace. Emma climbed onto his lap, bringing their bodies together, her wet folds sliding over his erection. A happy sigh escaped her. “Foreplay later?”

“Count on it, love.” He smirked shamelessly. “Condoms?”

“IUD.” Not that she planned on having sex with anyone, but after believing she miscarried, Emma didn’t want to risk another pregnancy and had one implanted as soon as she could. Though now that she had her memories and the love of her life back, she’d certainly reconsider it if they wanted another baby. Pushing those thoughts away for the time being, Emma reached between them, her hand grasping his cock, aligning them together. She sunk down fully on him, both of them moaning loudly as their bodies joined together for the first time in too many months. 

Emma whimpered as her body stretched to accommodate to his size after so long. 

Their foreheads pressed together as they took time to revel in their union. 

Emma cupped his face. “I love you so much, Killian.” 

He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. His blue eyes seared into her very soul. “I love you, Emma.” His voice thickened with desire. “Ride me, love.”

Her body shivered pleasurable at the huskiness of his voice. Gripping his shoulders, Emma set a slow, torturous pace as they relearned each other. She rose and fell in time with their harsh pants. How could she ever forget how wonderful it felt to be filled by him? 

Killian secured his right arm around her waist to support her as his hook traveled down her body until it fell between them, the cold metal rubbing against her hot, swollen clit. 

A guttural moaned left her lips as her head fell back. God that hook just fucking did things to her. “Fuck, Killian.”

“Yes, that is what we’re doing.” He teased, leaning down to kiss along her neck again.

She choked on a laugh, lightly smacking him on the shoulder. “Ass.”

“Later if you have the right toys,” He mumbled against her skin, biting along her collar.

She quietly lamented that she in fact didn’t have the right toys for that at the moment, but they’d fix that when they returned home. 

His lips trailed down to her breasts, his beard roughly scraping against her pale, creamy skin.

Emma cried out as his mouth mercilessly sucked in a pert, tight nipple. She bucked against him, her pace increasing as she chased the building tightening in her gut. 

Sensing she was close, knowing her body as well as his own, Killian withdrew from her before leaning back and rolling them over. 

She keened as Killian increased their pace, rocking the bed with the force of it. Their whimpers and moans filled the air as they lost themselves in the sensation of chasing their release. Emma choked on his name as white exploded behind her eyes, her orgasm washing harshly over her. 

Killian moaned out her name as her tight, pulsing cunt squeezed him dry as he came inside of her. As his senses came back to him, lightheaded from such a forceful orgasm, Killian looked down at his sweaty, glowing bride-to-be. 

Emma smiled widely, reaching up to run a hand through his damp, dark hair. “I hope you’ve got another round in you, sailor.”

Killian chuckled, leaning in to kiss her. “My love when have I ever left it to just one?” Slowly, Killian pulled out of her, dragging his lips against her dewy skin as he made his way southward. Now that their initial desperation for each other was satiated, he was going to take time lavishing attention on her body until she screamed his name. 

Her body quivered in anticipation as Killian left a trail of kisses down her stomach. As his mouth sucked on her throbbing clit and a scream of unadulterated pleasure leaving her, Emma felt as though her soul left her body, her body overwhelmed by the sensation. 

Her noises only spurred Killian on as his tongue slipped between her folds, eagerly tasting the remnants of their coupling. Knowing what his hook did to her, he brought the sharp instrument back into play, very lightly brushing the tip against her clit. 

“Fuck!” A hoarse moan ripped from her as she came quickly on the heels of her last climax. 

Killian took time relishing the taste of her as her body relaxed into the mattress. Blood rushed back down to his cock, his delight at bringing her pleasure shooting through him. Gods how he loved the noises she made, her completely unguarded, primal expression as she came. 

Feeling boneless, unable to properly move or speak, Emma lightly whined to get Killian’s attention. 

He chuckled against her before leisurely, agonizingly taking his time kissing his way up her body. He paused at her breasts, teeth raking along her skin before sinking in to mark. 

“Damn,” Emma gasped. “I forgot you’re all bark and bite.” Her teasing tone drew a small laugh from him as he continued kiss her chest. Wrapping her legs around him, Emma’s hands combed through his now wet hair, tugging at the strands, speaking with her actions.

Knowing his Swan was growing impatient, Killian moved upwards, kissing her soundly as his erection nestled between her legs, heat radiating from her. “You’re welcome to bite back any time.” 

Emma grinned, locking her legs around him. “You’re incorrigible.” 

“That’s not news to you.” He chuckled, kissing her again. A content sigh left him. “It’s been too long, my love.” 

“I know.” Emma’s hands clasped behind his neck. “If there’s ever another Curse, I’m going nuclear with my magic. Our family isn’t being separated ever again.” 

The seriousness of her tone and the tears in her eyes was enough to undo him. Killian swallowed back his own pain, focusing on them, in the here and now. “Never again.” He entered her deliberately tender after putting her body through the ringer. Keeping his pace gentle, he reached out, taking her hand in his and lacing their fingers together before pinning their joined hands above her head.

Their eyes locked reflecting everything they felt for the past eight months. Pain, suffering, loss, desire, joy, love all rolled into one look. 

“Killian.” Emma choked on tears as they slipped from the corners of her eyes. 

“I know.” His own voice hoarse. So much happened. There was still so much to talk about. Unable to stand it, Killian kissed her ardently, willing away everything these past months inflicted on them. “I love you.” 

Her voice tight with emotions, Emma whispered back words of love and adoration as his slow, reverent movements sparked the sedate beginnings of another climax. Together they moved as one, heavy breathing in sync, hearts beating in harmony. 

They came undone together, stars behind their eyes, as they lost themselves in each other’s embrace. 

How long they stayed that way, wrapped up together, drained from their vigorous lovemaking, they couldn’t say. After a time, when their breathing normalized, Killian rolled off of her, laying next to her on top of the sheets. 

Emma snuggled into his side despite the fact that they were both hot and covered in a layer of sweat. Her head rested on his shoulder as she threw her arm over his chest. 

Killian’s own arm came around her, holding her close. They remained silent for awhile, neither wanting to break their bubble, both knowing there was a lot to say, to catch up on. He sighed, knowing that they couldn’t keep putting it off. “How about a shower before we talk?” 

“That sounds like a good idea.” Emma whispered. “I can order us some lunch too.”

In no hurry, they took their time getting up and heading to the bathroom, kissing and touching along the way, neither willing to let the other go for very long, both fearing that this was all a dream and they’d wake up alone again. 

After a nice long shower and heavy petting, they dressed, Killian only in his pants and Emma in his shirt and her underwear, and sat in her living room. 

Emma ordered pizza, not wanting to leave to pick something up. She settled herself in Killian’s arms and asked about the Enchanted Forest. 

“We appeared near Aurora’s castle.” He started. “They took us in for the first night, but we were eager to get to Regina’s castle. It was still intact and had more room. Liam’s worst night was that first one, but it got better.” He spoke of their journey to Regina’s castle, of how he researched magic and exhausted all of Regina’s resources, how he dreamed of her. “Emma, I…” He looked around the apartment, eyes flicking everywhere before speaking. “I saw this apartment in my dreams of you. I dreamed of you doing things here, living your life, and I knew that you felt something was missing. That’s when I decided I needed to leave the castle and search elsewhere. You and Henry weren’t happy.” 

“Wait, you dreamed of me too?” Emma asked. Though it was odd that he was dreaming of her life here. She dreamed of her memories of course, but there were other things too. Liam crying, Killian on his ship, Killian with Liam. 

“Aye.” His brow furrowed. “What were your dreams of, love?” 

“Mostly Storybrooke.” Emma said. “But there were some of you and Liam in the Enchanted Forest.”

Killian contemplated her words. So they both dreamt about each other’s lives while they were separated…was that because they were True Love? 

Emma’s own thoughts wondered along the same lines. “I guess we’ll have to ask Regina and my parents when we get back to Storybrooke. They’d know if our dreams were because we’re True Love.” 

“Perhaps.” Something nagged at Killian though he ignored it for now. He continued telling her about his time at Regina’s castle, glossing over his fight with Snow a bit, explaining how he, Will, Alice, Tink, and Blackbeard left on their journey, taking Liam with them. “As we were traveling, well, I found out a truth about Blackbeard.” 

“Great.” Emma huffed. She didn’t like the bastard at all since it was his fault they ever ended up in Neverland and Pan fucking cursed them all. “Please, tell me more about that asshole.” 

Killian winced. That's right, Emma and Blackbeard weren’t exactly friends before the Curse so she wouldn't have any warm, fuzzy feelings towards his brother. Well, it was best to rip the bandaid off. “He’s my brother.” 

Emma blinked, taking a moment to process his words. “I’m going to need a very detailed explanation.” 

“Uh, well, he’s Liam.” Killian started. “My brother Liam, who I thought died, but apparently Pan resurrected him and owned his soul. Pan also didn’t let us know about each other being alive and he found out when he kidnapped you and Henry. I found out around Christmas. He didn’t want to tell me the truth because of our Liam and some stupid idea about tainting my memory of him, but yeah. Blackbeard is my brother and Will’s father.” 

“Wow.” Stunned didn’t even begin to cover what she was feeling. There was anger there too, though now it made sense how quickly Blackbeard flipped on Pan. He knew they were family and that Henry and Liam were his nephews. Still, she was definitely punching Blackbeard in the face when she saw him just on principle. “Wait, is he still called Blackbeard or do we have two Liams now?” 

“Blackbeard.” Killian said. “He said he’s too used to it now and it keeps it from being confusing.” 

There was a knock at the door, startling both of them. Emma hurriedly went to the door, seeing the pizza guy though the peephole. “Pizza.” Emma said. She quickly grabbed her wallet and paid, practically throwing the money at the guy as she grabbed the pizza. “Keep the change.” 

After shutting the door, Emma brought the pizza over, setting it on the coffee table. She opened the box and asked. “Any other bombs to drop?” 

“A few, yes.” Killian sighed. “Emma, we spent months traveling and came up empty handed. I wanted to return to the Enchanted Forest and try to find new leads, but then Regina came and got us. The only way to get back here was to cast the Dark Curse.” 

“No.” Emma shook her head. “There had to be another way.” Surely someone didn’t die just to get her and Henry home?

Killian swallowed. “Regina and Rumplestiltskin both agreed that it was the only way.” 

“Rumplestiltskin is alive?” Emma asked, floored. “How?” Jesus, what the fuck all happened in the Enchanted Forest? God, she couldn’t leave her family alone for five minutes. New brothers, curses, resurrections, what else could possibly happened? 

“Regina didn’t elaborate.” Killian said. “Emma, the Wicked Witch is controlling him and he seems to think you’re the only one who can stop her.” 

Emma leaned back against the couch, dread creeping in. “You mean the Savior is the only one who can stop her?” Is that all she was to people? 

Killian put his arm around her, hugging her to him. “You know that everyone went along with the Curse for you and Henry. Not because they need the Savior, right? We all wanted you both home.” 

“I know.” Emma sighed. “I just wish the Savior thing died with breaking the Curse.”

“I know, love.” Killian kissed her forehead. 

“So the Wicked Witch has the Dark One?” Emma grimaced. “Did this new Curse bring magic back with it?”

“Regina said that because Rumplestiltskin brought it back after the first Curse, that Storybrooke would always carry magic with it.” Killian still wasn’t entirely sure how that worked. Principles of magic were beyond his expertise. “It’s fully a magical town now.” 

Emma only nodded against him. It was a vain hope that magic hadn’t been brought back and they could all live normal lives. Bracing herself, she finally asked the question she dreaded the answer to, “Who…who volunteered?”

He moved away from her, avoiding looking at her. He wanted to be there when it happened, but Regina needed to stay with the Curse and hadn’t wanted to risk Killian getting caught up in grief and the Curse. His throat tightened. “Pop.” 

He spoke the word so quietly, Emma wasn’t sure she heard correctly at first. “Marco volunteered?” 

Killian could only nod in response, his eyes glossing over with unshed tears.

“Oh Killian.” Emma reached for him, pulling hi into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry.” Her own eyes watered. Despite his part in her growing up alone and in foster care, Emma grew to love Marco, and not just as he was Killian’s father figure, but also because he was a kind soul, who loved Killian and their boys fiercely, and who helped people as much as he could when he could. 

It was her hug that finally broke him and grief slammed into him, his body shaking as he began to sob, finally allowing himself to mourn his father. Burying his face into her shoulder, Killian let it all out. 

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered against his neck, holding him as they both cried, feeling Marco’s loss. Emma wished she could take away Killian’s pain. Marco was gone; he chose to die so that she and Henry could come home. He died for their family. Emma squeezed her eyes shut as guilt assaulted her. Why couldn’t there have been another way? Why was there always a stupid freaking Curse? 

It could’ve been minutes, hours maybe, but it felt like forever as Killian cried in her arms. 

Emma ran a comforting hand through his hair as he slowly calmed. 

His breathing evened out. “The pizza’s cold.” He mumbled. 

“I have a microwave.” Emma whispered. 

He pulled back, meeting her eyes. “I couldn’t be with him when it happened. I couldn’t risk being caught up in the Curse.” 

Emma brushed away the tear tacks on his cheeks. “He knew. He loved you, Killian.” 

“At least, I got to say goodbye.” Killian said. “I got to see him a final time.” He collapsed against the couch.

Neither of them were keen on eating anymore, so Emma put the pizza in the fridge then returned to the couch to cuddle with Killian, wishing there was more she could do to comfort him.

Killian rested his cheek against her hair, closing his eyes as the emotions of the day washed over him. 

When his breathing evened out, Emma carefully extricated herself from his arms. She maneuvered him so he was lying on the couch. She pulled the throw blanket over him and sat next to him, gently caressing his cheek. Her heart ached for him. He’d lost so much in his life. Would they ever get a break? 

She stood up and wanting to let him sleep, Emma decided to get dressed. Killian needed clothes for the trip home, and possibly extra outfits. Who knows if the Curse brought back all of their belongings? God, would their house still be there? Marco had nearly finished the renovations when they left for Neverland. Emma’s throat tightened. She hoped the house survived, so they’d have their home. Marco renovated it for them as a gift for their family and making it the place they raised their children seemed the best way to honor his memory. 

Once dressed, Emma made sure to leave Killian a note on the coffee table in case he woke up before she got back. She was glad that he fell asleep, if only so she could take time to process everything he told her. There was a Target not too far from her apartment, so she decided to grab what she could find there. Killian lost some weight from what she could tell. Had he taken care of himself? Didn’t anyone make sure he was eating? Knowing him as she did, he probably prioritized Liam and his search for a portal over everything else, but especially more than himself. 

She entered the store, not entirely focused on her mission as she thought over what all she learned from Killian. His brother was alive. Her kids already had a bunch of aunts and uncles, and now there was one more. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about a man she greatly disliked being the man Killian worshipped for his whole life. 

Grabbing Killian a few pairs of dark blue jeans, Emma’s mind turned over to the fact that the Dark One was alive. All magic came with a price, so how steep was the price for resurrection? Who the hell paid it? 

As for the Wicked Witch, Emma didn’t even know what to think about that. She was a product of True Love, which meant the most powerful magic of all lived inside of her, manifesting in her magic. So how powerful and bad was the Wicked Witch if Regina couldn’t fight her? Why did Emma have to be the one? What was the story with the Wicked Witch anyway? Killian hadn’t told her more before telling her about Marco. She’d need to get as much information as possible before returning to Storybrooke. 

She grabbed Killian some crew neck t-shirts, a few long-sleeved button downs, a pack of socks, and a belt before going to look for shoes. 

Why did she have to be the Savior? Her thoughts grew bitter. Why didn’t her job as the Savior end with the Curse breaking? Why was she responsible for villains? There were other heroes out there.

There was a nice pair of dockers that Killian would like. Grabbing the boots, she shook herself mentally. 

God, she sounded so fucking selfish. People needed her help; they were in danger. Emma wondered if she’d ever accept that she was indeed the Savior and likely always would be. She made her way to check out, lost in her own world, freezing as she found herself in the baby aisle. 

Sorrow filled her being at the thought of her baby, her little Liam. She missed out on the first eight months of his life after she swore she’d never miss out on a thing. How big was he? Was he crawling yet? Did he still use magic? Had his powers grown? What was he like? 

Keeping her tears at bay, Emma hurried to check out before a full on breakdown happened. When she arrived at the bug, throwing the bag of clothes into the passenger seat, Emma covered her mouth with her hands as sobs escaped her. 

How could she be the Savior? People were dying for her. She couldn’t stop a Curse from taking her family away from her. She couldn’t protect her sons. If she couldn’t do any of that, if she couldn’t keep everyone together and safe, how was she ever going to defeat the Wicked Witch? She wasn’t a Savior; she was a failure. She broke a Curse, but Regina defeated Cora and saved Henry, Neverland beat Greg and Tamara, Rumplestiltskin defeated Pan. What good was she? Storybrooke didn’t need her. They needed someone who could actually defeat a villain. Someone who wouldn’t fail them. 

Angrily wiping away her tears, Emma started up her car. 

She wasn’t a Savior. Storybrooke was screwed. 

Returning to her apartment building, Emma parked and grabbed her purchases. Hopefully Killian was still asleep so she didn’t have to explain her tears to him. Then she stepped out of the elevator, she froze seeing Walsh standing in front of her apartment talking to Killian, who stood shirtless in the doorway looking irritated. 

Emma glared at Walsh’s profile as she approached.

Killian saw her first, clocking her annoyance and wariness. His brow furrowed seeing that she’d been crying. “Hello, love.” He smiled gently, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he reached out to take the Target bag from her, before placing it inside the apartment on the floor next to the door. 

“Hey.” Emma relaxed, grinning back. She turned to Walsh. “Can I help you?” Okay, so she didn’t really hide the annoyance in her tone. 

“I was just…” Walsh started, but Killian cut him off.

“Walsh here was concerned for your wellbeing.” Killian said, smirking though there was a dangerous glint in his eyes. “He heard our rather enthusiastic reunion and thought you might be in need of saving.”

Emma rolled her eyes. The only one in need of saving was Walsh from the punch she wanted to throw. “Clearly I don’t. Did Walsh also mention he’s been stalking me and Henry?”

The dangerous glint in Killian’s eyes turned murderous. “No, he left that part out. He was much rather keen to introduce himself as your boyfriend.” Killian, of course, hadn’t believed him, and he definitely wanted to sink his hook into the man’s throat for stalking his wife-to-be and son. 

“In his dreams.” Emma growled. “Walsh is well aware of the fact that your my fiancé and that your were deployed, but he thought I conveniently made you up.” She moved to Killian’s side in the doorway, arm going around his waist. “As you can see, Killian’s a real person. Now, he’s been away for eight months and I really want to keep showing him how much I missed him.” Emma turned to head into the apartment, not seeing Walsh’s eyes flash red before he transformed into a flying monkey. 

Killian reacted quickly, pulling Emma out of the way of the monkey’s trajectory. 

Pressed up against the wall of her entryway with Killian’s body against hers, it took Emma a second to process the fact that her weird, creepy, psycho neighbor just turned into a flying fucking monkey. “What the fuck?” 

Killian kicked the door closed and maneuvered Emma behind him. “Well, looks like the Wicked Witch sends her regards.” 

The monkey perched on the kitchen counter glaring at the pair. It shrieked loud and angry before launching towards them, knocking the memory potion off of the counter, the blue vial hitting the tile floors, shattering everywhere. 

Emma and Killian ducked, scrambling away as the monkey slammed into the door. 

Killian pushed Emma ahead of him to keep his body between her and the monkey. 

The monkey shrieked as it knocked into Killian from behind, sending the pirate to the ground. It jumped on top of him and Killian quickly grabbed the monkey’s wrists with his hand and hook to keep it from clawing at him. 

“No!” Emma’s fear for Killian consumed her and without thinking about it, her magic reached out and blasted the monkey to ash. 

Killian closed his eyes as monkey dust covered him. He sat up brushing himself off. “I’m going to need another shower after that.” 

Emma stared at her hands. “I used magic.” 

“Aye.” Killian walked over to her and helped her stand up. “Are you all right, love?” 

“How did I use magic?” Emma asked. “There’s no magic here.” 

“Actually, there’s a little magic here.” Killian said. “You’re just the only one powerful enough to tap into it.” His hand gently grasped her chin, making her look at him. “Are you hurt, my love?” 

“No, I’m fine.” Emma said. “Are you okay?” 

“Not a scratch.” He smiled. “Thanks for saving me, Savior.” His lips landed on her before Emma could respond. A possessive need overcame him as he enthusiastically deepened the kiss.

Emma groaned into him pressing her body against his before remembering he was covered in Walsh. Pulling back, Emma grimaced. “Hold on there, Tiger. I’m not getting naked with you until your clean again.” Just the thought of anything of Walsh touching her grossed her out.

Killian chuckled. “As my lady commands.” He cupped her face gently. “Are you sure you’re all right? You were crying before you came home.”

Emma sighed, leaning into him. “I’m fine. We’ll talk about it after your shower.” She promised. “Now go. The sooner your clean the sooner we can have some fun.” 

When Killian left her alone, Emma took out the broom and began cleaning up the rest of Walsh and the shattered pieces of the memory potion. Without the potion, what were they going to do about Henry? He needed his memories too. She wasn’t going to lie to him; after everything that happened, with Henry already experiencing dreams, he deserved to know everything. More than that, Emma wanted Henry to know about Killian, about their bond, how much he loved his father. She wanted Henry to remember his brother and how excited he was to be a big brother. They could tell him everything tomorrow when she brought him home, of course, but it wasn’t the same as having his memories back. If they were going to face magic and witched, Henry needed his memories to prepare and to protect himself. Maybe Regina could make another potion and they wouldn’t have to worry about it for too long. 

She finished her cleaning and her stomach roared at her. They hadn’t eaten their pizza and it was nearing dinner time, so Emma pulled it out of the fridge and tossed it in the oven to warm it up. Her mind went back to Killian’s words earlier. 

Thanks for saving me, Savior.

He was sincere when he said it, but of course Killian always believed in her. When no one else was in her corner, Killian defended her and lifted her up constantly. Of course, he’d have faith that she could be the Savior. But defeating one flying monkey didn’t make her a Savior. It was luck that her magic came to her aid. What if it hadn’t? Would Killian be hurt or worse? She could’ve lost him. 

The pizza tasted like cardboard as her stomach churned with anxiety. How could she save everyone? 

Strong arms came around her, pulling her back into his chest. “You’re thinking loud enough to wake the dead.” 

Emma sighed, a small smile coming to her face. She turned in his arms, realizing he only wore a towel, her arms locking around his neck. “I’m just brooding.”

“I thought that was my trademark?” Killian teased.

“Ah, but see, you’re over three hundred years old, so brooding is in the public domain now.” Emma smirked. 

“Ha, ha.” Killian rolled his eyes good-naturedly, before turning serious. “What were you thinking about, Emma?”

Her hands drifted down his neck muscles, fingers caressing his skin. It was easier to stare at his chest and play with his chest hair than look at him as she admitted to her shortcomings. “I just…I’m not a Savior. Not really.” 

“What do you mean?” His hand and stump went to her hips, pulling her close. 

“I just broke a curse.” Emma shrugged. “Regina never payed for it. Then Cora comes along and almost kills our son, and Regina stops her. I couldn’t even stop a sociopathic teenager. Rumplestiltskin killed him. A Savior is supposed to be able to save people, and I didn’t do that. How can I save them from the Wicked Witch?”

“Oh, Emma.” Killian knew the burden of being Savior ate away at her and he hated how she doubted herself. “You did save people. You brought back their happy endings. You saved Henry in Neverland. You saved me from myself. Hell, love, you save me every day you allow me to be worthy of your love.” 

She couldn’t help a small smile from forming. He always was her biggest cheerleader. “You have so much faith in me, Killian, but I just don’t feel like a Savior.”

“Who says you have to?” He cupped her chin, making her look at him. “You never asked to be the Savior. It’s not like you trained your whole life to be this beacon of good. You are naturally an amazing, kindhearted person who wants to help people. Don’t let putting a title on it psych you out, and please never think you have to bear this burden alone.” 

Emma carded her fingers through his thick, wiry chest hair. “How do you do that?” She smiled. “You always know just what to say.”

“I only speak the truth.” Killian said. “Most of it just comes from my heart.” 

She leaned up to soundly kiss him. How did she get so lucky to have this wonderful man as her True Love? As she kissed him, her fingers danced down his skin to the towel around his waist, loosening it so that it fell to the floor. 

“Swan.” Killian grinned against her lips. “What are you doing?” 

“I told you we’d have fun after your shower.” Her voice was coy. She kissed along his neck, pushing him back towards the counter for support. 

Killian leaned against the counter as Emma kissed down his chest, sinking to her knees in front of him. His cock twitched as she looked up at him with hooded eyes and a coquettish smirk. 

Her hand curled around him, pumping along his length to help him along. 

He groaned, closing his eyes, desire shooting through him, his blood swimming southward. Opening his eyes, Killian watched intensely as she worked him up. 

“What would you like me to do, Captain?” Emma purred as she continued her ministrations.

He shivered pleasurably at his rank falling from her lips. Her full, pink, wet lips. “I want your mouth on me.” His voice was husky and deep as he gave the order. 

“Do you promise to fuck my mouth if I do?” She teased, a hunger for him gleaming in her eyes. “I’m so very hungry after all.”

Her words went straight to his already straining cock. “Yes. I won’t hold back.”

“Good.” Emma’s mouth quickly went to work taking him all in. 

His head pitched back as she deep throated him. “Fuck.” 

Emma pressed her tongue to the underside of his cock as she pulled back slowly. She suckled the tip, earning a throaty whine for her efforts, before she took him all in again. Emma hummed around him, causing his hips to buck into her. 

Remembering his promise, Killian moved his hips, setting a leisurely pace as she sucked him off. His fingers tangled in her hair, holding her head to him. 

Her thighs rubbed together as she grew wet with desire. Emma took him all the way in again, humming around him before hollowing out her cheeks, slowly dragging her teeth the length of him, breathing through her nose as she focused on her task. 

His grip on her hair tightened as Emma scraped her teeth against his sensitive, throbbing cock. “Emma.” He choked out her name. His gut tightened with need as he picked up the pace, fucking into her hot mouth. 

Emma glanced up to see her fiancé wreaked by her touch, pleased with herself, she swirled her tongue around him, digging her nails into his thighs.

He groaned as her nails marked his skin, a silent tell to increase his pace. 

As he let go, undulating into her at a rapid pace, Emma clutched at his thighs with one hand, securing her position, while her other hand moved to his balls, twisting them ever so slightly. 

A hoarse shout left him as he fucked unrelentingly into her mouth, his release coming upon him faster than he could warn her.  

Once she swallowed all he had to give, her mouth freed him with an obscene pop.

Killian dragged her up by her hair, kissing her fiercely as he backed her into the island. He pulled her shirt up, braking the kiss, tossing it wherever before diving back in for more. His hand impatiently unbuttoned her jeans and he shoved them and her panties down just as quickly before lifting her onto the counter. 

Her bra joined her shirt somewhere, but Emma was preoccupied with pulling Killian closer. “Was my Captain pleased with my services?” She giggled. 

“You’ll be the death of me.” He grumbled amused. His mouth moved along her neck. His hand tweak a nipple hard eliciting a moan from Emma’s lips. 

“More.” Emma wrapped her legs around him, her hot cunt pressing against his abdomen. 

“Now, now.” Killian tisked. “You had your fun, so now it’s my turn.” He pulled her nipple again.

Emma whimpered. 

Killian nipped at her ear. “Be a good girl and let me take care of you.” He kneaded her breast as his stump traveled down her body to her nub. 

Her head tilted back as Killian pressed on her little bundle of nerves. “Killian.” 

His stump moved lower between her slick folds before entering her. 

Emma groaned rapturously at the intrusion. Her toes curled and she keened as he thrusted sedately in and out of her. 

Killian ducked his head down, capturing one of her breasts in his mouth, gratified to see purpling areas on her skin from where he marked her earlier. 

Between his hand, mouth, and stump, Emma lost her self in the pleasurable sensations inflicted on her trembling body. Her climax uncoiled gradually, her body arching towards him, his name nothing more than a pant from her lips. 

When her soul returned to her body, Emma’s stomach growled. 

Killian laughed into her shoulder. “Me thinks we need to eat the damn pizza already.”

“Too tired for another go round, old man?” Emma breathlessly taunted. 

“After we eat, I’ll show you why the old man jokes fall flat.” He huffed with a smile. 

Emma shakily slid off the counter, Killian’s arms around her to steady her footing. 

The couple cleaned themselves up in the bathroom, though neither bothered to dress since they were alone in the apartment, before returning to the kitchen and finally eating the pizza. Still starved, they also finished off Emma’s leftover Chinese from the night before. 

Emma stretched and yawned once they were done. It certainly had been a day with Killian’s arrival and the emotions and physical activities they both endured. God, had he only appeared at her door this morning? 

“Tired, Swan?” Killian asked, hugging her to him. 

“More than I thought I would be.” Emma stifled another yawn, resting her head against his chest as he held her. They really should move to the bedroom before she fell asleep against him. 

Killian chewed the inside of his lip. “There’s something else I need to tell you.” 

“It can’t wait until the morning?” Emma mumbled against him, her eyes closed. 

He hesitated, knowing that she needed to know about her younger sibling, who’d be born soon. It wasn’t news she’d take well and she’d need time to process it. However, she was tired and if he told her now, she’d likely not sleep very well. “Aye, it can. Come on, love, let’s get you to bed.”

They stumbled into her bedroom, Emma plopping face first into her pillow. 

Killian chuckled. “You’ll need to get under the sheets, princess.” 

Emma groaned, rolling back off of the bed to pull the sheets back. 

As Killian stepped next to the bed, he noticed a book on the nightstand. It was orange-brown with red and yellow flowers painted on it. “Is that the journal Belle gave you?” 

She froze, eyes darting to the book. Everything she felt and thought in the last eight months was written in those pages. Sitting on the bed, Emma nodded. “It is.” She whispered, not trusting her voice. So much pain fell into the words she wrote. Swallowing, Emma reached a hand out, indicating for Killian to hand it to her.

He did so, sitting next to her, concerned about her reaction. 

Her fingers brushed the cover. “I…I was struggling when we came to New York.” Tears formed in her eyes. “I know Regina tried to give us happy memories and I’m not sure what happened, but there were some things we remembered that weren’t happy.” She turned to Killian. “I remembered giving birth, but Liam was stillborn in my memories.”

“Emma.” Killian put his arm around her. He couldn’t imagine going through that. Leaving Emma and Henry was one of the most painful and difficult experiences in his life, but at least he knew they were alive. It seemed Emma couldn’t let go of Liam entirely and her mind must’ve excused Liam’s absence in the worst possible way. “I’m so sorry, love.”

“It’s okay now.” Emma gave a watery smile. “I know he’s alive and I’ll see him soon.” She looked back at the journal, making a decision. “There’s some things I don’t think I could relive, but I want you to know everything.” Emma passed the journal to him. “I want you to read it.”

“Are you sure?” Killian reverently took the journal from her. 

“You already know everything about my life.” Emma leaned her head on his shoulder. “This is just one more chapter.” 

Killian kissed the top of her head. “Okay. Thank you, love.” He gently set the journal aside for now, and laid down with Emma in his arms. “What are we telling Henry tomorrow?”

“The truth.” Emma said. “We don’t have the memory potion, but I’m not lying to him. He’s already having dreams of Storybrooke, so he’d figure it out as soon as we returned to town.” Her arms wound tightly around him. “We did promise him not to lie to him after the ordeal with Neal. Besides, he may not remember you, but I want him to know your his dad and that he has a brother.”

Killian held her firmly to him. “We did. Do you think he’ll like me?” 

Emma scoffed. “Killian, Henry’s always loved you. His head may not remember you, but his heart will. I promise.” She closed her eyes as she snuggled further into him. “He loves you, and when we get to Storybrooke, we’ll make sure he remembers everything.” 

“Too right.” Killian said softly. He brushed his hand through Emma’s hair, comforting himself as much as her. Before long, her breathing evened out, letting him know she fell asleep. Killian stared at the ceiling, his thoughts abuzz with what tomorrow would bring. Sleep struggled to find him, but he tried to remain still as to not wake Emma. Unfortunately, he grew restless after a couple of hours attempting to sleep. 

Carefully, he delicately rolled Emma off of him, ensuring she was comfortable and tucked in before he snuck out of bed, getting dressed in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, taking her journal with him to the living room. 

He settled onto the couch and began reading. His heart broke reading over her painful memories, the confusion of her memories infecting her dreams, the loss of her baby, knowing she was missing something, grief overcoming her. 

Killian read for hours, lost in her words, knowing now where Henry received his writing talent, invested in knowing all his beautiful, incredible Swan went through to better understand her. His love for her continued to grow, seeing the strength in her words, the determination to rebuild her life, the depth of her love for Henry and how she wanted to protect him from grief and their strange dreams. 

He wasn’t quite finished when the sun came up and Emma padded into the room wearing his pirate shirt. 

“Have you been up all night?” She yawned, joining him on the couch. 

“I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to do some reading.” Killian made note of where he was in the journal before closing it and setting it onto the table. He turned to Emma, pulling her into his arms and kissing her soundly. 

The intensity of his kiss surprised her, but Emma eagerly returned his fervor. Gasping for air minutes later, Emma reluctantly broke their embrace. “What was that for?” She breathed. 

“I love you.” Killian said, pressing his forehead to hers. “You are the strongest, bravest, most incredible woman I’ve ever met.” He brushed her wild, untamed curls out of her eyes. “Even though the memories of your loss weren’t real, that didn’t make them less real to you. You survived so much and continued to suffer, and I’m so proud of your ability to keep going on with life without any bitterness tainting your heart.”

A lump formed in her throat as his love for her overwhelmed her. After such a shitty childhood and a lackluster young adulthood, fate bringing this man into her life more than made up for the hand she was dealt. “I don’t know about that.” She deflected, looking down at her hands. “I just pushed through everything for Henry.”

“You never give yourself enough credit, Emma.” Killian said, gently taking her hand in his. “You are so much more than you believe yourself to be. I wish you could see what I see.” 

“I don’t need to.” Emma smiled. “I have you. You’re my biggest cheerleader next to Henry. Between the pair of you, I sometimes get the idea.” She leaned back, wiping away a few stray tears. “Speaking of Henry, I better get dressed. I told him I’d pick him up for breakfast. There’s an artisanal donut shop we’ve been eyeing for a special occasion, so I’ll pick up a box.”

Killian let Emma retreat for now, but he’d never stop reminding her how amazing she was, especially in her darkest moments. He winced as he remembered he still needed to tell her about Snow’s pregnancy. He needed to do so before she left, to give her time to process it, before they talked to Henry so she’d be prepared. 

Emma returned about fifteen minutes later in jeans, a pink plaid shirt, and her boots. “Okay, I’m off.” She grabbed her purse and keys from the front table. 

Killian hurried over to her. “Emma, wait, there’s something you need to know.”

She paused, a curious look in her eyes. “Is this the thing that you wanted to tell me last night?”

“Aye.” Killian grimaced. “I didn’t finish dropping bombs yesterday.” 

“Well, it can’t be bigger than your brother being back and Marco’s passing.” Emma sighed. She took a breath and braced herself. “Okay, lay it on me.”

“Snow’s pregnant.” There. Bandaid, ripped off. “About seven months along.”

Her stomach dropped to the floor. Swallowing, Emma whispered. “My parents are having a baby?” Suddenly Emma found herself back in the Echo Caves, her mother’s words ringing in her ears. I resent Emma. I need a fresh start. I want another child that I can raise. Emma shook herself. “I should go get Henry.”

Emma ran before he could stop her. 

Her feet hurriedly carried her to her car. She slammed the door once she was inside, her breathing ragged and panicked. 

Her parents were having another kid. Pressing her hands to her eyes, Emma tried to calm herself. Don’t be selfish. You knew this was going to happen. 

In the hospital after Liam was born, Snow made amends with her. They buried the hatchet on the issue. Or, well, Emma thought she buried it. Hell, she told Snow that she had every right to try for another kid. 

“Come on, Emma.” She whispered to herself. “You’re not an orphan anymore. They won’t replace you just because of the new baby.” But the Swans did that. She didn’t often think about her first set of parents, first set she remembered anyway, despite carrying their surname with her. Killian once asked her why she never changed it after learning what the Swans did to her and Emma said it was because she wanted to prove her worth in spite of them. She kept the name and made it her own. 

Even so, in this moment, she felt like she was three years old again, watching their green, wood paneled Ford Pinto driving away, leaving her and a small suitcase with a stranger, her case worker she later learned. 

“Emma, sweetie, we’re going on a trip.” Mommy smiled at her when she picked her up in her arms. Daycare was over and Emma wanted to share her picture. 

“Look, Mommy.” Emma waved a drawing of a house with two adults, a little girl, and a kitty cat. “I drew you and Daddy and Nugget.”

Mommy’s stopped smiling as she took the picture away. “That’s nice, Emma. Come on, Daddy is waiting in the car.”

“I don’t want to feel like this.” She berated herself through tears she couldn’t stop, hitting the steering wheel angrily. “Mom and Dad aren’t the Swans.” They aren’t, they aren’t, they aren’t. “They aren’t replacing me.” She sniffled. “I’m good enough.” Not good enough. They don’t love you. They want their baby, not someone who’s broken. 

Emma leaned back, taking a deep breath. “Stop it. Stop it. You are not an orphan.” She reaffirmed. “Mom and Dad love you. This baby is not a replacement.” Her words felt hollow and her chest constricted. 

Her cell phone rang. It was Henry. Clearing her throat, Emma answered. “Hey, kid, I’m on my way.” Though she’d definitely need to make a stop somewhere to wash her face so Henry wouldn’t see that she was upset. “I’m fine, yeah, everything’s okay. No, I promise. I’m driving, so let me let you go. I’ll see you soon.” She wasn’t lying to lie, but Henry didn’t need to be burdened with her baggage, especially over the phone. No, she’d talk to Killian about how she was feeling later. 

She just needed some time to deal with the news first. 

Starting her car, Emma first drove to Starbucks for their bathroom, buying herself a bottle of water, planning to get coffee at the donut shop after seeing Henry. She gulped her water down on the way to Avery’s, hoping it would ease her throat and she’d sound happier when she picked him up. 

Henry came running out as soon as she parked in front of the apartment building, obviously waiting for her with Avery’s mom. Emma waved and smiled at Hannah as Henry jumped into the car. 

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Henry asked, concern all over his face. 

“Nothing’s wrong.” Emma said. “Something did happen yesterday, but a good something. I promise.”

“What happened?” Henry asked, now confused. He knew his mother was upset earlier when he called. She sounded like she’d been crying.

“Donuts and hot chocolate first.” Emma said. “I think it’s time for us to try Bean There, Donut That.” 

Henry tilted his head. “Is this a special occasion?” 

Emma chuckled. “You could say that.” 

They arrived at the coffee shop ten minutes later. Henry excitedly chose one of eight wild flavors, excited to try different things, and Emma was glad to limit it to a box of six, because the donuts were huge and more than enough for the three of them. Plus, she really wasn’t sure how Henry would feel about some of the flavors. She added a hot chocolate with cinnamon for Henry, a white chocolate mocha for herself, and a caramel latte for Killian. 

Henry eyed the third drink suspiciously. 

They grabbed their purchases and headed back to the car.

“So who’s the third drink for?” Henry wasted no time in interrogating her. 

He definitely inherited my tact. Emma sighed. “Okay, so um, you know those strange dreams we’ve been having?” She pulled out of the parking spot into the busy road. 

“Yeah.” Henry said. “Are we going to Maine to find answers?” 

“We are.” Emma said. “There’s more though. So, um,” She breathed deep. This was the hard part. “Henry, you asked if it was magic that did this to us. Well, turns out it was. We lost our memories because of a curse.”

“I knew it!” Henry exclaimed triumphantly. “There was a curse in my dreams, and magic. You had magic!”

“I have magic.” Emma corrected. “Henry, when we get home, I’ll go into more details, but there is someone waiting for us. He’s my fiancé, your step-dad, though you call him Dad and everyone we know treats you as his son and vice versa.”

“I have a dad?” Henry asked. “Wait, I have a brother too, don’t I? The baby you lost? He was alive in my dreams.” 

“Yes, Henry.” Emma smiled, happy tears building in her eyes. “Liam is waiting for us in Maine.”

“Why didn’t he come with Dad?” Henry asked. “What’s Dad like? Is he cool?”

“He was safer with your uncle.” Emma said, though now knowing it was Blackbeard and not August, she wasn’t too sure about that. She knew Killian trusted Blackbeard and would trust Killian’s judgement, but she’d still get to know the man herself when they returned home. “You think your dad is the coolest person. He taught you how to sail his pirate ship and his sail boat. He taught you how to fish and use a sword. You love him so much.” 

“Dad’s a pirate!” Henry shouted with enthusiasm. “Are you serious? That’s so freaking cool!”

“Your dad’s going to be relieved you think so.” Emma laughed. 

They finally made it to their apartment building and Henry practically sprinted out of the car with the box of donuts. Emma hoped he didn’t drop the box. They carried their breakfast to the elevator and rode up in what must’ve been the longest ride of Henry’s life since the kid couldn’t stop jumping up and down with excitement. 

The elevator doors barely opened wide enough before Henry slipped through, darting down the hallway. Emma hurried after him. 

Henry paused before the door to their apartment, suddenly anxious. “Does he like me?” 

“Henry, Killian loves you so, so much.” Emma said. “He practically raised you in Storybrooke. You are his son, okay?”

Henry swallowed, but nodded and put on a brave face. 

Emma opened the door and they entered to find Killian nervously pacing the kitchen. 

Killian stopped suddenly, taking in the sight of Henry, now all of twelve, and about three inches taller since Killian last saw him.

Nervously, Henry approached, setting the box of donuts on the counter, never taking his eyes off of Killian. “Hi, I’m Henry.”

“I know.” Killian said softly, his eyes shining. “I’m…”

“My dad.” Henry said. “I know. I mean, not my biological dad, but a better dad.” He stumbled over his words not sure how to act around this stranger, though he knew the man from his dreams and his heart felt nothing but affection and love for the man in front of him. 

“You seem to think so.” Killian chuckled, his voice thick with emotion.

An overwhelming urge to hug Killian overcame him, so Henry went with it, throwing his arms around the man’s middle. 

Killian returned the hug instinctively, cupping the back of Henry’s head. “I missed you so much, Henry.” 

“I think I missed you too.” Henry mumbled. The two stayed like that for a moment before Henry pulled away. “We brought donuts.” He said shyly. “I didn’t know we were getting them for three, so I don’t know if you’ll like them.”

“That’s okay.” Killian reassured. He turned to Emma. “Does he know everything?”

“Not yet.” Emma told him. She handed Killian his coffee. “Let’s sit down, eat and talk.” 

They gathered around the table with the donuts and their drinks. Emma took a breath and started from the beginning with her twenty-eighth birthday, a wish, and a knock on her door. 

It took a few hours to explain their history, especially as Henry had questions, but eventually they reached Pan’s curse and Killian briefly touched on some of the happenings in the Enchanted Forest. 

Henry took it all in, pushing away the last bites of his creme brûlée donut. “So, the Wicked Witch is real too, and you have to stop her?”

“Seems that way, kid.” Emma said. “But the good thing is that we get to go home. We’ll get your memories back, you’ll see your brother, grandparents, and aunts and uncles again. You’ll have your friends back too.” 

That brought a small smile to Henry’s face, though it was clear he was still processing everything. It was a lot for anyone to digest let alone a twelve year old. “Are we leaving then?”

“Go pack a bag.” Emma said. “As much as you can anyway. We’ll have to leave the big stuff for later.” 

Henry nodded and left his parents alone, lost in his own thoughts. 

Emma watched him with worry. “Do you think he’s all right?” 

“He’s always taken things in stride.” Killian said. “Even so, he’s learned that what he thought was his life was a lie, that magic is real, and that his mother’s about to head into very real danger.”

“Aren’t we all?” Emma sighed. “I hope I can live up to everyone's idea of me.”

Killian grasped her hand in his. “You already have, love.” 

“Cheerleader.” She teased. 

“Always.” Killian said. “Are you okay?” They’d yet to discuss her future sibling. 

Knowing what he meant, Emma nodded. “I will be. I still have old wounds to work through.”

“I’m always a willing ear.” He reminded her, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles. “Lean on me when you need, yeah?”

“I will.” Emma said. “Now, I need to go pack. The sooner we leave, the sooner we get to be home.” 

As she headed to her room, Emma squared her shoulders. 

It was time to don her armor and take up her mantle. 

The Savior was going home. 

[ninja-muse]

November started out bookish, because my Dad came to visit for a few days, which meant a bookstore visit, a poetry reading, and a bookish movie. It then got mundane and kind of time-dilated. If feels like October was three months ago at least and that all the books took ages to get through, which is absolutely not the case. I didn't write much, just kind of lazed around. Maybe that's it?

It was a good reading month, though! Apart from one DNF that was just not for me, I didn't read a single dud and Libby kept on coming through with anticipated reads. I not long have anything actively on hold there, and few things on hold physically at the library right now either, which hopefully means I'll be able to tackle The ARC Pile again next month and burn through a handful of those before the new year. Wish me luck?

I am well and truly going to lose most of my reading challenges this year. There's no way I'm going to hit 140 books, no way I'm going to read the remaining books on my personal "read these 50 books" challenges, and I might have hit 10 Canadian authors but I'm certainly not going to hit the stretch goal of 20. I'm mostly okay with this. Really. At least I finally passed my goal of 40,000 pages. Huzzah!

Also, as you can tell by that stack of six books, I do not have a book acquisition problem. You have a book acquisition problem! Only two of those were purchases though—I've been meaning to read The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz and The Mighty Dead comes recommended. The rest of them were out of damaged shipments at work. If the publisher doesn't want them back and we don't have the space to store them, what am I meant to do? Throw them away? Salt Fat Acid Heat is totally writing research, of course.

Somehow, I suspect I'm not going to hit my goal of reading more books off my TBR shelves than I add to them this year either.

And now without further ado, in order of enjoyment…

The Water Outlaws - S.L. Huang When Lin Chong is convicted of a crime she didn’t commit, she finds herself allied with infamous outlaws.

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, genderfluid), mute secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: death, violence, torture, blood

The Night Watch - Sarah Waters

Four Londoners after and during the War, and the melancholiness of life and love.

8.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main characters (lesbian, bi woman), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, queer)

warning: self-harm, abortion, blood, war, suicide

Lay Them to Rest - Laurah Norton

A portrait of people solving Doe cases and their methods.

8/10

warning: missing and murdered people, human remains

Ogres - Adrian Tchaikovsky

The world is a cruel place full of powerful ogres, and you are a peasant with a grudge.

7.5/10

warning: violence, murder, classism, oppression

Turning Darkness into Light - Marie Brennan

Audrey Camherst gets the chance to translate lost Draconean texts but grows suspicious of her new employer.

7.5/10

Black British-coded main character

warning: xenophobia

The Circumference of the World - Lavie Tidhar

A pulp sci-fi novel that doesn’t exist, the real lives it affects, and the secrets of the universe.

7.5/10

albino Vanuatan main character, faceblind main character, half-Guyanese Jewish secondary character

warning: sexist, racist, and homophobic characters

Sleep No More - Seanan McGuire

October is a changeling born to serve her family, and happy in her role. Unfortunately there are people who remember her very differently.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (bi men), 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: villains really like their ideas about blood purity

The Innocent Sleep - Seanan McGuire

Tybalt’s wife has been caught in Faerie’s grandest illusion and he just wants to bring her home.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (bi man), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (poly, sapphic, bi man), 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: eugenics

DNF

Moorewood Family Rules - HelenKay Dimon

Jillian is out of prison and determined to make her con artist family go straight, no matter what.

Currently reading:

A Power Unbound - Freya Marske

Jack, Alan, and their friends must find a hidden artifact and foil a plot. Jack and Alan do not get along.

🏳️‍🌈 main characters (gay, bi), main character with injured leg and chronic pain, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (gay, bi woman, lesbian), 🏳️‍🌈 author

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts.

The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle Victorian detective stories

major disabled character

warning: colonialism, racism

Stats

Monthly total: 8 Yearly total: 117/140 Queer books: 4 Authors of colour: 1 Books by women: 5 Authors outside the binary: 1 Canadian authors: 0 Off the TBR shelves: 1 Books hauled: 6 ARCs acquired: 2 ARCs unhauled: 2 DNFs: 1

January February March April May June July August September October

[burstofastar]

Tekken — Random thoughts

It was something that many of us were waiting to happen in a new chapter of the Tekken series, and for a long, long time. And... no, I'm not referring to Jun's return, because although her story has been unfinished since Tekken 3 after Jin's introduction; I didn't care much if she didn't come back this time again.

I'm referring to the inevitable confrontation between Kazuya and Jin. A fight that was destined to happen, and that seems to be definitive considering the first reveal trailer for Tekken 8, which reminds us a lot of the final battle between Kazuya and Heihachi.

However, I find it terrible that devs have neglected Kazuya too much as the main antagonist/villain, an event that began in Tekken 2. But with these latest occasional trailers, reveals and sneak peaks, I have some hope that the developers will give him more backstory and development. The bad thing? It's just that they do it at the moment when Kazuya will probably die... due the last battle, where just one stands up (as shown in the very first trailer of Tekken 8).

I'm not taking anything for granted yet, but it's hard to figure out what will happen. Or at least in my case, I am not very adept at making many speculations because I like a work (be it a video game, a series, a movie, a book, a comic, a manga, etc.) to surprise me.

What I do hope for is a bittersweet ending, hopeless at a certain point but that at some point a victory can be achieved for only one of the parties.

Let the villain be a villain, he doesn't need to be redeemed if most of what we saw of him has never shown a hint of regret for everything he has done, because he willingly preferred to let himself be carried away by the blood curse and embrace his inner Devil. Which, of course, doesn't mean that I don't empathize with Kazuya, because... Come on, who could stand to have such a sad and terrible childhood because of Heihachi? Those foundations made Kazuya what he is, and while he may be suffering (which I don't deny either), his mentality remains the same: that of conquering the world to prove to himself that he is stronger, even than his own insecurities and weaknesses.

Kazuya was an antagonist in Tekken 2. He was absent in Tekken 3. He was a secondary antagonist in Tekken 4 (since Heihachi was first). He was a secondary antagonist with Heihachi in Tekken 5 (since Jinpachi was first). He was a tertiary antagonist with Heihachi in Tekken 6. (because Jin was first, and Azazel second.) And he was a secondary antagonist in Tekken 7 (because, in my opinion, Heihachi was first).

Not to mention that his endings, although they are not canon, continue to show his aggressive, dominant and diabolical side: in Tekken 2, he uses Heihachi as a human shield to neutralize Devil; in Tekken 4 he takes possession of Jin's Devil to achieve his goal; in Tekken 5 he kills Jinpachi without remorse, in Tekken 6 he kills Jin and claims the Mishima Zaibatsu. Special mention is given to his ending from Tekken 1, where he throws Heihachi off the cliff, and from Tekken 7, where he throws him into a volcano.

Would we all do the same in his situation with the damn old man? Probably yes, but this also doesn't stop Kazuya from continuing his rise to world domination, no matter who stands in his way... even if it's the son of the woman who once showed him compassion and stood by him, trying to cure him during the Second Tournament.

Upon being resurrected (as shown in Tekken 4), Kazuya is no longer able to turn back his ambitions, as he is practically completely corrupted by the Devil Gene. There is no redemption for him no matter how much he wanted it... yet not even he wants to be redeemed either. It has been seen that he only has one goal in mind, since not even the memory of Jun did anything to make him reconsider (he vaguely and barely mentions her in Tekken 6: Scenario Campaign's intro). Her new appearance may surprise him, yes, but I doubt he'll still throw away everything he's "built", because it means admitting that he's weak, in one way or another.

However, I do appreciate that devs give more meaning, depth and "ability" to speak directly to whoever gets in the way, especially Jin (as seen in the video above). This has an interesting hint of development in his person. Because even if the "irredeemable villain who will always be a villain" archetype seems to have no character development; essentially it is when given a bit of background and different interactions, for example.

On the other hand, I still don't know what role Jun will have in the plot, since my ideas wander a lot about her. However, I do believe that it will not be a vital participation. Yes important, but not so deep.

But most of all, I hope it's not something silly and stupid like everything is resolved by the power of love and everyone lives happily ever after, because it would objectively ruin Kazuya as an antagonist/villain and Jin as an anti-hero/tragic hero, and the respective paths that both have taken in the series.

After all, and quoting someone I read somewhere; it is a video game with a story, not a story with a video game. And the main thing in Tekken is fights and tragedies.

[crystalelemental]

"megazardx2: I’m so glad you enjoyed it, especially since you didn’t like the Gen 7 games much at all. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts!"

Then this is as good a time as any! Pokemon Sun and Moon anime thoughts, as much as I can stuff in there.

As mentioned in my last recap, the only history I have with the anime is vague recollections from the original seasons, and XY which we watched just before this. And of them, Sun and Moon pretty quickly got itself into top spot. I really like the friend group, and I think Ash works best as just some kid with the others. It feels much more natural to him than the big hero thing of XY, which was overplayed and frankly silly.

This hasn't really gone anywhere. The friend group remains the strongest aspect, I love them. Mallow's probably the favorite of the bunch, but there's not a single one I disliked. Lillie and Sophocles precious, Kiawe and Lana are hilarious, Mallow just vibes the hardest with how I am as a person so like...I get it girl. Even Team Rocket was far more tolerable this season, back to being mostly ineffectual villains with more mild goals and significantly fewer war crimes committed. Bewear helps a lot. I think the decision to swap out their old blasting off routine to Bewear's myriad entries was divine.

Nanu and Acerola had a great little arc. They were a ton of fun while present. I didn't really click with Olivia but she's fine. Same with Hala, who felt like he could've done more. I did wind up liking Hapu, which is very unexpected. Faba's alright, Wicke doesn't really do much, and I have many thoughts, none of them particularly nice, about Lusamine. That leaves the last two clusters.

Kukui and Burnet are a delight. They're adorable, they're hilarious, big fan all around. I am very glad they ditched Kukui's secret just before the final match, I don't know if I would've been able to stomach it through that. The Masked Royal thing was always a bit goofy, and this is naturally no exception. But their whole dynamic is cute.

Guzma. Ooooh Guzma. You got hit with the same bat as Lusamine. From a character in the main games with a lot of going on that you could infer, to...literally just some pissbaby loser who's mad he can't win. Dude, this is like the least compelling villain story. I do like the attempt to use Golisopod as a sort of showcasing of that same mentality, but it's a nice artistic touch on a generally bad approach. I do not like Team Skull at all in this. Or, for that matter, Ilima. Who I legitimately forgot about until this moment. Ilima just doesn't do much of anything. Oh, he's just soft-spoken and nice and talented and all the ladies love him. Sure. But he's no Ryuki. Who wins the award for funniest one-shot character in the series.

The Ultra Beast episodes were solid. I generally like the idea behind it. It's goofy, but it fits functionally. I don't strictly mind why they function in the way they do, but I'd be lying if I said the explanation being "It's the kid in Lusamine coming out" didn't rub me the wrong way given everything else about her character. Mostly I think what the anime nails are character moments. Sophocles getting over his fears and starting to appreciate battles, Mallow getting established as a talented chef in her own right with a strength in reading people's wants, Lana being...genuinely just talented at everything? Like, girl doesn't get enough time to shine because they often pass it off to Kiawe or Ash, but she's legitimately good at like everything they wind up doing.

The tournament was...interesting. I wasn't sure how much I'd like it, given how quickly they belted through top 16 and top 8. But admittedly? It works. It truncates a lot into the critical moments. Watching XY, the battles could be interesting, but often it's sort of a...going through the motions? Like okay, yes, Ash vs Sawyer was generally a good time, but there were plenty of matchups that amount to very little in the grand scheme. Ash vs. Alain, I would be willing to argue, is largely forgettable. Nothing all that interesting happens until the final Greninja vs. Charizard matchup, but I don't really respect Charizard, and I hate Ash Greninja, so it's not like I cared. But it's telling that the entire match and all the episodes in it could've been boiled down to about those 5 minutes with little lost in terms of impact or importance.

I think that's what Sun and Moon nailed best in this arc. The battles are just the parts that matter. Ash's Rowlet has one real rival, and that's Hau's Decidueye. Just do those two, and it's a nice, condensed fight. That ends kinda lame because man it really kinda feels like Hau should've won that, or they should've waited to call it a while so it didn't feel like taking something from him. Mallow has low confidence in her battling and tries to shy away from a battle she expects to lose, and Lana calls on her to make an effort. We only need the one Pokemon for that. Sophocles is learning to put his all into battles and wants to stand his ground against Kiawe, and again, we can do that in one. We need a showing of Guzma being a vicious trainer in how he battles, and boy do you get the point in the 1v1 with Lana. They do really well at linking up just the emotional connection part of the battle. Even in 2v2 matches this holds, as they quickly get to Kiawe's ace in Turtonator, and eliminate Scizor in two seconds for a story beat. It's well done! Even Kukui and Ash, which is a much longer fight, leads off the the big emotional showdown of Torracat vs. Incineroar, but both are recalled before a victor is decided leaving you waiting for the return and how that'll play out. Even after that, they manage to pivot into Tapu Koko vs. Pikachu, which was another battle that needed to finish (though I am slightly sad we don't know Kukui's actual sixth Pokemon).

The Pokemon just feel like they have real connections, not just within their team but with their rivalries. Which is...more than I can say for XY. Every major rivalry in Pokemon was Greninja vs. someone else's ace. None of that team mattered otherwise. They had cute dynamics, I really liked Hawlucha and Noivern. But what role did Talonflame play once it evolved? It ceased to matter. Why bring Goodra back? Ash just needed a sixth Pokemon, no other reason. Comparatively, when Naganadel comes back, it doesn't have a strict rival, but it's the first time it's battling and it came back through dimensions to see them again, and you get how much that means. This season did really well with connection and emotional impact for pretty much everyone involved, and it did it in a cute slice of life-y way rather than trying to big up drama to make someone matter. Which I generally vibe with a lot more.

I'm trying to think of other things to talk about but am kinda running dry. I'm sleepy, we did a lot of chores. The point is, Sun and Moon was really good. Big fan. Unfortunately, my wife and I discussed where to go next. And we have reached consensus. My wife never watched anything before this. And Journeys is more of a recap thing from all accounts, visiting characters and places from everywhere. So we will, unfortunately, be going all the way back to the beginning. I have acquired veto power over episodes if I remember them sucking shit. The original Kanto stuff is only two seasons, so hopefully this will go quickly, but from here it's sequential. I think the intent is to actually go through everything. Brace for impact. And salt. Because save for exactly five episodes I look back upon fondly, I don't know how I'm going to tolerate original Ash, or Brock and Misty.

[eaamon]

Perspective | Part 2

Warning: It has spoilers from manga so don't read it if you aren't caught up.

Word count: 2.1k

Pairing: Touya Todoroki x Reader (Female)

Synopsis: Touya has become a hero, fulfilling his father's wish. He wanted Endeavor to be proud of him. Then why is this emptiness chasing him everywhere? Why can't he fit in with everyone else? Is this really what he wanted? All his thoughts and concepts about the hero society are left in chaos when he meets a certain villain.

Note: There is just Fuyumi in this story because Touya has achieved what Endeavor wanted.

Parts: |Part 1| |Part 2| |Part 3| |Part 4| |Part 5| |Part 6| |Part 7|

Touya was mopping in his room with his face covered in bandages. His face was turned towards a wall as he let out a frustrated sigh. He couldn't believe he was on house arrest. His family, especially his father was worried sick of his disappearance after he ran into the bank which had now turned into ashes. He hit his forehead lightly against the wall a few times. He stopped only when he heard a knock on the door. He sighed as his shoulders dropped. “I said leave me alone. How many times do I ha-“ He didn’t get the chance to complete his sentence because his father barged in. He was surprised that his father even considered knocking this time. “Touyaaaaaaa!” Yelled his dear old daddy as he stomped towards him.

He remained quiet and didn’t make a move to turn towards him. “Your house arrest ends today thanks to my connections! So get up! We have a lot of work to do! You’re the best one at my agency and in the past week, the ratings have dropped. We have no time to waste right now!” He felt his father’s hands on his shoulders. He gritted his teeth and pulled himself out of his grasp. He turned around with a glare. “. It is always about you and what you want! Leave me the fuck alone for once.”

With that, he stomped out of the room. Fuyumi and Mother came rushing towards him as he walked towards the main door, trying to stop him but all he saw was red. He grabbed Fuyumi’s wrist to push her hand away from him but he didn’t realize his quirk activated because of his unstable emotions. He saw her eyes widen and pull away from him. He quietly but swiftly walked out of the house. He was staring at his hand which he used to burn his own sister, guilt creeping inside him as he walked away from the house. He used the same hand to push his bangs away. He ended up lighting a cigarette as he beelined to the same facility. He felt at peace there. He didn’t have to force himself to act a certain way. He could say or do whatever the fuck he wanted without any consequences. At home and in the hero world he had to walk on eggshells.

He slammed his foot on the main door and walked in like he owned the place. Every time he came here before was in his hero suit. This was the first time he was wearing casual clothes. A simple hoodie with jogger pants. He sauntered over to her room and opened it without knocking. He saw her stiffen and look up from the drawer. “Yo.” He watched the expression on her face get sour. She slammed the drawer shut and glared at him. “You’re supposed to knock and didn’t we agree that you won’t come again if I stay with you?” She scanned his face with narrowed eyes. He just shrugged in response. He was surprised even now that she agreed to stay with him that day he got a injured while saving her but placed a condition which he knew he won’t ever fulfil. He sat down on the revolving chair with his feet on the table. He blew out a ring of smoke on her face when she walked over to him. He watched her cough and wave the smoke away from her face. “What do you want, Touya?”

“You.” He said simply and watched her stiffen. He smirked at the response he got. “What do you want me for? Your wounds are already treated.” He watched her avert her gaze while saying that to him. “Won’t you ask where your dearest Touya got them from?” He watched her face scrunch up in disgust initially. “I was wondering why you didn’t show up in the past week. That’s the longest you’ve been gone.” She asked while turning away from him. “Awe, you really missed me, Y/N?” He made sure to use her name. “You’re high.” She said simply and started walking out of the room. Like a baby duck following its mother duck, Touya stood up and followed her.

“I was on house arrest after my feat at the bank. I fought back and tried to get away but I ended up with this.” He pointed at his face. He watched her nod while wearing gloves. She was getting ready to check people in the ward. That’s how he spent many hours with her without realizing it and completely forgetting all the worries at home. He stretched his back even though she should be the one doing it after checking countless patients but she seemed fresh and active. “How long do you plan to stay?” She asked him while sanitizing herself. “For as long as I can.” He replied with a shrug. He watched her turning towards him with a knowing glint in her eyes. “You know you could have just said you had a fight with your dad.” He blinked at those words. He didn’t expect her to guess this but then again he has done this in the past too many times. For her to acknowledge that and see the pattern meant she thinks about him and that made him happy.

He was too shocked to reply so she gestured with her head towards the stairs that lead to her place. “Wanna talk about it?” Those four words had a lot attached to them. She would pull out two beers from the fridge and they would go to the balcony. They would talk about their worries while drinking away the night. That was when he had nearly kissed her. Since then, she stopped suggesting that and he was too scared to ask her about it. So, he was surprised when she suggested it this time. Without thinking things through he nodded and followed her up the stairs. He waited for her to take out the beers from the fridge and they made their way to the balcony. He was done with his cigarette hours ago so he pulled out two this time. He handed her the second one and lit her cigarette with it. He then pocketed his lighter and leaned forward after placing his cigarette between his lips. He touched their ends and inhaled causing his cigarette to light up.

He had seen her wide E/C orbs shining in the moonlight. She nearly dropped her cigarette because of her parted lips. “Careful,” he said while holding the cigarette for her. He saw her delicate hands take it from him while firmly holding it between her lips. He leaned away from her and they both stared at the night sky quietly.

“It was the usual. That man thinks this world only revolves around him.” He heard her scoff. “That’s nothing new. Heroes need to come down from their high horses.” He watched her turn her head to look at him. She flinched suddenly and waved her hands in front of her. “I didn’t mean you…or you being the same as other heroes.” She seemed flustered which made him smirk. “Oh? You think I am different from other heroes? Better, I suppose? Considering your reaction.” He received a deadpanned face in return. “Worse.” She turned away from him while saying that. That made him laugh out loud. He flinched as a light gasp left his mouth. He glared at Y/N who had touched his neck with the cold beer bottle. Even though his body had more durability for cold, he had been in much higher temperatures because of his quirk so he still wasn’t used to cold and she knew this weakness of his which she exploited every chance she got.

He pouted while taking the bottle from her. He hit it on the railing and opened it easily. He handed the open bottle to her and took the other one from her. He opened it for himself and took a large swig. “This time was different.” He looked at his empty hand and clenched his fist. “I hurt Fuyumi out of anger.” His shoulders dropped contrary to all the emotional baggage he dropped on her. “I don’t know how to face her.” He looked back up and chugged the rest of the beer. He looked at her only to find a frown on her face. “What?” He asked out of curiosity. “That’s it?” She countered him. “What do you mean?” He saw her shaking her head with a sigh as if he did something dumb. “Just buy ice cream and soap operas. Then apologize to her.” He watched her with an incredulous expression on his face which turned into a scowl quickly. “Ice cream and soap operas won’t fix those burns on her wrist!” She shook her head. “It won’t fix the external injury but it will fix the internal one.” She said while placing a hand on his chest which caused him to freeze. “And that is more important. You can help her ice the burns later too.” He blinked at those words. Before he knew it, he had his arms wrapped around her tightly. He buried his face in her hair only to be met by the familiar scent of cocoa butter. He was lost in that scent and familiar yet unfamiliar touch to realize what she said. “Oi! What do you think you’re doing?” He felt her hands pushing him away. “I ain’t helping her ice the burns. It is already embarrassing enough.”

He finally let her go but his hands still rested on her shoulders. He looked right into those familiar E/C eyes that held so much warmth in them that he could feel it melting all over him. “Thanks, Doll.” She shrugged in response. “Thank me once it actually works.” That caused his eyes to widen enough for them to fall out of the sockets if they weren’t connected in the back. “There is a chance it might not work?!” He was louder than usual as he shook her. She swatted his hands away from her. “Nothing has a hundred percent probability of working. Even if your sister is so caring and kind-hearted.” He groaned at that and turned away from her. “Just give me another beer. I’m crashing here.” He was surprised that she remembered everything he told her about his sister.

“No, you’re not. You’re gonna buy what I told you to and go back home. Trust me. Has anything I told you to do gone bad till now?” He shook his head. She was correct about that. Every advice she gave him, no matter how ridiculous, worked every time. It was like she had a Master's degree in Touya and knew every remedy to fix things for him. “Fine. I’ll do it. Only because I trust you, Doll.” He turned towards her and flicked her forehead. He watched her cover her forehead with a groan. “You’re the worst!” With that, she stomped inside because he was laughing at her cute face.

He left the facility and went straight to the shop where Fuyumi liked to shop for soap operas. He bought a few new arrivals. He knew every director and actor she liked so he picked according to that. Then he went to a convenience store where he bought ice cream for her. He could feel his stomach doing flips the closer he got to the house. He swallowed hard as his finger rested on the bell. After rehearsing everything in his head a hundredth time he pressed the button. As soon as he did he heard loud quick footsteps rushing towards the door. He saw a worried Fuyumi on the other side of the door. As soon as their eyes met, she jumped over him and wrapped her arms around him. “You’re okay! I’m so glad! I was so worried for you!” He had frozen in her embrace. It took a while but he slowly melted in her embrace. When she pulled away, he had forgotten everything he had rehearsed in the past hour.

He stuck his hand out which held all the goods. “I’m sorry for hurting you.” He looked away because he could feel smoke coming out of his ears and his cheeks were burning. He wanted to set fire to himself and turn to ashes when Fuyumi giggled and accepted the ice cream and soap operas. She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. “Let’s watch this together!” He groaned because he was responsible for torturing himself. He realized he turned into a masochist after meeting Y/N but he felt relief along with it. Her advice worked. The guilt, anger and frustrations that he carried with him while walking out of this house had disappeared into thin air as if they never existed. It seemed like Y/N possessed a deadly quirk to get rid of all the negative emotions.

 Note: I hope you all like this chapter. I did say the schedule for this story won't be consistent but this was a bit too late so I apologize. I had exams and then I got busy with family. I don't know when the next chapter will be posted. I am now in the last year of my degree which means my schedule will be packed.

[epicspheal]

Hello hello!

I've recently completed the main game of pokemon y as a nuzlocke for Jude, and currently doing the post game( specifically the looker stuff) under the perspective of Dante. And while I'm playing this post game, I'm like "damn looker really looked at Emma and decided to become a guardian for her immediately like damn,". And it just makes me so confused with how he carries himself in the sun and moon, if I'm remembering correctly. Like, yeah, the player character by the post game is the strongest in the region and has already dealt with ultra beasts as is. I don't remember the full details of the quest there so I'm just gonna focus on that. But I dunno like. Where is the parental nature of looker that was seen in XY? Yeah the player isn't Emma, but I feel like that side of Looker should have shines through a bit? Maybe that's just me, and maybe I'm not remembering everything clearly. I'm just kinda blown away by how fatherly Looker is in the post game right now lol. That's two for two for fatherly figures in gen 6 ( Archie in oras and now Looker in XY )

Hi there @ihopethisendswell! First off, congrats on the completion of your Nuzlocke!

Oof the change in Looker from gen 6 to gen 7 will forever remain as one of the more baffling story-making decisions for me. Admittedly I was rather ambivalent towards Looker until the XY games when I saw him become a guardian to Emma and it was just so sweet and I was growing fond of him. ...and then it all came crashing down with his SM/USUM portrayal. It was one thing to have him have the player help out...it's not the first time he'd done that and he certainly wouldn't be the only adult to ask the help of the child. The issue is that he knowingly used a child as bait for beasts so dangerous that it actually killed someone else on the International Police crew (which was also in some ways his fault according to Nanu because he started feeling sorry for the Ultra Beast and that moment allowed the untrained Faller of the crew to be killed) and wasn't about to divulge that until Nanu forced that conversation to be had. At that point...I really lost all respect for Looker. Granted the initial Faller death wasn't entirely his fault because the International Police is scummy and sent her as bait without being trained...but still letting history repeat itself wasn't a good look. So yeah it's strange how they were willing to have Looker be so protective of Emma but was really ready to repeat the same mistakes that got someone else killed with another child. It really doesn't matter if the child was a champion that's not okay. Because when you think about it, the skill-set you need to be champion and the skill-set to work on an operation like that would be different. Knowing how to battle in generally controlled environments like leagues/island challenges (that ostensibly have some level of safety measures) is different than battling an Ultra Beast who is confused and afraid (thus far more prone to lashing out than regular Pokemon), are so biologically different that you have to get specialized balls to even have a chance to capture them, and are suddenly even more in a frenzy because they detect Ultra Wormhole energy on you. Those adds layers to the battle that just weren't present when battling the Kahunas or Kukui/Hau on the top of Mount Lanakila. Especially since in both XY and the Kalos Villain arc in Pokemas, Looker shows a lot more concern and restraint for getting not only Emma involved (he had to be convinced to do so) but the other Kalos kids in something that was less dangerous...but for some reason that went all the way out the window for the Selene/Elio who are younger than Emma and the Kalos Kids. Hell he was more concerned about Anabel being hurt because she was starting to feel ill than the player (both of whom were fallers, both of whom were at similar risk should something go just slightly wrong). It was actually just such a grating plot to witness in my opinion. But yeah taking this into perspective it makes for good differing ways for how Looker is viewed by the protagonists of Kalos and Alola if people choose to go that route (which I imagine you are with Dante).

I can say for cactusverse, the way Looker is viewed depending on if you as Jabari or Marsha couldn't be more separate. Since Jabari is my XY protagonist he gets to see fatherly!Looker taking care of Emma and he holds deep respect for the man. He is in constant contact with Looker as they begin to try to rebuild the trust between the Kalos League and the Kalosian population which had been eroded since the league had done nothing to help Team Flare.

Then Marsha is my SM protagonist and she actively was about to drown the dude in a Sparkling Aria once she found out from Nanu what was going on. Girl was already partially traumatized from Motherbeast Lusamine and overall annoyed she was unofficially appointed Lillie's bodyguard when she didn't ask nor wanted to be and that the last of the straws. So imagine hearing Jabari and Marsha argue whether or not Looker is either "a great man" or a "corrupt idiot" especially in the presence of Dawn and Hilbert, the other cactusverse protagonists who have dealt with Looker and find him to be more in the middle, not really competent in their eyes but not a bad person...just trying his best in less than ideal circumstances.

[amplesalty]

Halloween 2024 - Day 2 - Dead 7 (2016)

The best supergroup since The Traveling Wilburys...

Apologies for the immediate tangent but for once this is a fresh addition to 'the list' so I can actually document how it came to be there. Just the other day Butterfly by Crazy Town came up on my playlist and I was reminded how their lead singer, Shifty Shellshock (…okay), passed away earlier this year. It was on his Wikipedia that I learned that he has a very brief filmography of this film, Willowbee and 1994's Clifford.

Which incidentally is potentially one of my favourite movie posters of all time based purely on Charles Grodin's expression. This movie by the way isn't about a big red dog, Grodin only makes dog movies about St. Bernards.

And it was on the entry for today's film that I proceeded to sit in shock and awe at the text that in front of me. A post-apocalyptic zombie horror western movie written and starring Nick Carter, yes that Nick Carter, and produced by The Asylum. That alone would have me interested but wait, there's more. Nick is joined by a veritable supergroup of 90's boy band alumni with entrants from Backstreet Boys, NSYNCH, 98 Degrees, O-Town and All-4-One…oh my! Given The Asylum's reputation of being a mockbuster studio, this film very much smacks of The Magnificent Seven mixed with The Walking Dead, though they're about 6 years late to the party on that Walking Dead part. Releasing within a week or so of the original with a near enough exact same name is more their style.

In the post apocalytic world, a witch doctor priestess type woman named Apocalypta threatens to raise a zombie army to overthrow what little of humanity remains so that she can take over the world (of course!). It's up to a rag tag crew of miscriants from Desert Springs to fight back and save humanity, which is where our Magnificent Seven comes up.

Jeff Timmons (98 Degrees) as Billy Sullivan, generic hero man

Carrie Keagan (not musically inclined) as Daisy Jane, generic hero man's girlfriend with the big knockers to keep male viewer's interested

Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys) as Jack Sullivan, Rick Grimes lite

Joey Fatone (NSYNC) as Whiskey Joe, the only actual decent character by way of him being the fun drunk

Howie Dorough (Backstreet Boys) as Vaquero, the Hispanic one who picked the sniper class and instantly regretted it since I don't think there is ever a need for a sniper at any point in this movie so all of his shots are from like 2 feet away as the shuffling zombie horde ambles toward him

Erik-Michael Estrada (O-Town) as Komodo, the one that picked the Samurai class and spends an inordinate amount of time slashing zombies because he wants to show off how he maxed out the sword skill

Lauren Kitt-Carter (also not muscially inclined or pictured) as Sirene, generic Native 'tracker' type who mains a Shotel for some reason and is also apparently a nepo hire given she's married to Nick Carter

Debra Wilson (not musically inclined but apparently shoot bald) as Apoclypta makes up for the fact that the character is very one note and essentially just thrust at you as the big bad without any explination or reason. She spends half the time just screaming and pulling over the top faces so I can appreciate that at least.

Her minion, Johnny Vermillion (AJ McLean of Backstreet Boys) is a more convincing villain than her and he actually manages to off various major and minor characters. Plus he gets to run around in clown makeup and a bowler hat whilst he does it so points for that.

A special shoutout has to go to Jon Secada (solo artist) as well purely for his magnificent sideburns.

I say the setting and story isn't explained, it may well have been in the little intro sequence but I was far too busy suffering from a major headache at the editing job they did on that. There's so many fast edits and weird effects and the thing constantly shifts between various harsh color filters that it pained me to actually watch. Possibly they were going for a graphic novel type thing to tie into the Walking Dead thing?

And don't get me start on the transitions between scenes. So many establishing sweeping shots of the goddamned mountains and valleys. Don't ever use this as a drinking game, your liver would be destroyed within minutes.

Going through the introductions of all these various characters is kind of fun, going through the whole 'getting the band together' motions. The ending as well has it's moments as it's building to a crescendo with various characters laying down their life for the greater good but the middle third of the movie feels a bit plodding as the group makes it's way towards Apocalypta.

Fatone, Wilson and McLean go a long way to saving this movie as they're the one ones that seem to be having some fun with it. Everyone else is taking it far too seriously which I don't feel they have any right to given the circumstances, a movie starring this many boy band stars has no serious artistic merits. To say he's given top billing, Carter is particuarlly bland and monotone throughout but he is still miles ahead of Chris Kirkpatrick (*NSYNC), though we're at least spared him for the majority of the movie given he only has about 3 scenes.

All things considered, I have to give this movie some praise for just about living up to my lofty expectations of it to fulfill the bollocks-o-meter. By no measure it is a good movie (what else were you expecting?) given the edits that drove me crazy at times, the mediocre acting, generic story and just general vibe that only comes with these kind of movies. But some of the characters are engaging, it has some satisfying gore and there's no denying it's an absolute curiosity piece to see the cast of a VH1 type 'Boy Bands Forever' show suddenly whisked away to film a feature length zombie movie. The theme song kinda slaps too.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Phantasma by Kaylie Smith

3.5/5. Releases 9/3/2024.

The Vibes: Caraval but make it adult, ghosts who fuck, necromancy, haunted houses but maybe the true haunting is mental health issues

Heat Index: 7/10

The Basics:

After their mother dies, Ophelia and Genevieve are left with the shocking discovery that they're on the brink of losing their ancestral home. Also, Ophelia has taken on the mantle of their family legacy: necromancy. An argument with her sister, however, leads Genevieve to disappear into Phantasma, a multi-level game for a mystical prize... during which many people die. Setting out to find Genevieve, Ophelia makes a deal with the mysterious phantom Blackwell... And finds that the web of Phantasma is much more complex than she originally thought.

The Review:

I was actually immediately hooked with this one. The writing is evocative, and you have this super quick story trigger. Love plunging into a book like that. And then we have the sisterly bond, the spooky game, the ghosts, a SEXY ghost, a DEAL with a SEXY GHOST... It's all a great setup. For the first 25% of this book or so, I was fully committed to the ride.

So—why isn't the rating higher?

First off, while I think Caraval is probably a good comp for this novel (for marketing purposes, at least) I wasn't comparing it positively or negatively to that story. In truth, I don't remember many of the details of that book, aside from the fact that I thought it would've worked better as an adult novel. (And to be clear: This is definitely meant for adults.) I did find myself comparing it to Kingdom of the Wicked by Kerri Maniscalco... another story of witches, devils, and fundamentally, sisters. Well, fundamentally romance, but also SISTERS.

And what I got from that series I missed here. A valiant effort is made to balance Plot Plot with romance plot, but while both were entertaining, I feel like that balancing act resulted in neither one getting the full serving it deserved. There are a lot of characters playing the Phantasma game, and you're basically attached to none of them aside from Ophelia and Blackwell. It felt like I was supposed to care about a few, in positive and negative ways. I didn't, and I found their page time a bit annoying as a result.

I did care about Genevieve—she's an immediately fun, intriguing character. But she's off the page after the first bit, and remains so for much of the book. I also found the entire idea of the Grimm family lore interesting. A lot of compelling things were here, but the main plot setting and focal point is Phantasma, right? So Phantasma should be as interesting as those things. We definitely got peeks of characters that I think would have made Phantasma more interesting, but we don't stay with them long enough. And their interesting qualities only reminded me that...

Well. Blackwell kind of isn't that interesting.

Ophelia isn't this bangin' heroine who got my heart. But she does have things going on that make me invested. Blackwell is... sexy. It's true. He's charming. I definitely wanted to know more about him. However, he kind of read like a side character who's going to have his own story later. Not like a romance hero. And I kept thinking—this would be more interesting if he was outright villainous. I won't spoil exactly where his morality lies, but he really doesn't like... act villainous. He acts charming, and snarky, and after not spending much time with Ophelia, he's all "THE LADY SAYS NO" about it.

Which I normally like. But I also feel as if this book suffers from something that has been plaguing a lot of romance novels lately, which is: "This should have had multiple POVs". There's really no reason why we couldn't have had Blackwell's POV in this. This is a third person novel. We needed that extra insight. I needed to know him better. I needed him to be a bit grittier, a bit darker. He's just very gentlemanly for the setting, right?

(This is another point where the Kingdom of the Wicked books came up in comparison. The heroes in that series are just a lot more dangerous, and it really fits the setting.)

I also feel that he could have been introduced earlier. While I loved the setting of the scene, it takes a bit longer for this book to get to Phantasma than it should have. Not long, but you know—when it comes to pacing, especially when you're writing a romantic relationship... Time is of the essence. Especially when a book is plot-heavy.

However, I was interested throughout, and I did like this relationship. A lot of the skeleton was there. It just needed more fleshing out. So with that in mind, I plan on reading more Kaylie Smith. But in order to really separate this from the pack and create something edgier—which is what her writing style gave me—and more truly adult, versus "adult that still reads a little YA" I feel like she needs to focus more on character development and reeeeeally lean in.

That said, if you just want a spookedy time that also features lots of kissing and a hot ghost man, this could be right up your alley. I can be a bit picky, and I know this will be a crowd pleaser for many. Keep that in mind.

I also really appreciated that this novel managed to compellingly portray OCD. The way that Smith plays with the supernatural elements against Ophelia's very real mental illness was one of my favorite parts of the book. Super clever—I don't want to give too much away.

(Also: This is paranormal romance. There is a ghost hero. There is a necromancer heroine. No dragons, alternate worlds, castles, gruel, or overly long descriptions of herbs to be found. For the love of God, it's set in New Orleans, paranormal romance central. Grimm Manor is probably right across the street from wherever the Valkyries were hiding out at one point in IAD. Big Romantasy, you will not gaslight me into saying this is a fantasy romance. Save paranormal romance!!!)

The Sex:

I really did like the sex in this book. There's P in V! There's sex with blood (not exactly bloodplay though, it's more on the supernatural side). And I would also like to add that they kind of begin hooking up casually? To take the edge off during the death games?

I mean, it made sense to me, and I liked that even though Blackwell and Ophelia were clearly into each other, casual sex was endorsed. More, please.

Not a slam dunk for me, but an introduction to a author who shows promise, and a book that will definitely please people who are less prone to nitpicking (which is valid, I support you, you're happier than me probably). And I do hope we see more sexy ghosts in general.

Thanks to NetGalley and Forever/Second Sky for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[lockedtowers]

me, realizing i was gon follow a few ppl but i dont have my verses or anything rly up yet: …. so anYWAYS

some fun things bc im not gonna be on a comp until tomorrow then ill only be here mon wednes and surprisingly fri/sat next week, maybe some lil funzies mostly abt cassie bc shes my baby

obvi (if u kno me if not welcome im brina my brain doesnt work) i have multiple verses im just dumb and havent posted them, i gotta rewrite a lot of them to be shorter too bc i give full character backstories for everything as it develops and ik most ppl dont wanna read that so it takes longer for me to do things bc im ‘tistic and short quick explanations is not my fortay. main doodads tho: 1, 3-7 are fantasy worlds specifically, 2 is overall in any world, 8 onwards is purely human verses

generally with other fantasy worlds, i’ll have it where cassie ended up in your universe. Whilst my Wonde/rland is largely built off my own thoughts and things now, and various points of lore, the 2009 S/yfy A/lice was a base for it. A/merican M/cgee’s Alice is the base inspo for Cassie’s cheshire cat, but she’s also her own thing. (fun fact: originally i was writing her as the d/ormouse from b/urtons wonderl/and, but as she grew further from that canon w my never writing in that universe, she became my own character ultimately and holds few similarities to her origin now, including species! but her twin brother is still ‘proper’ dormo/use, yes it makes sense, its more a title than a species in this world)

Cassie is… moldable, mentally, to say the least. When someone finds her in whatever world she ends up in, whether its a fantasy world or not (as she ofc just lives wherever in non fantasy aus) she.. tends to be easier to manipulate because she will get attached to people just for being nice to her. she isn’t used to it. it’s rare for there to be a universe where this isn’t an issue for her (also of note bc dual muse blog: willys the manipulator, and shes the manipulatee) honestly she’s morally grey anyways and doesn’t really understand morality as a whole, so if shes found by a villain and they just.. treat her like a person, she will get attached. and cassie being attached can be dangerous, not just for others, but for herself, because she’s loyal to a fault. if she makes friends w multiple ppl and they fight, she wont know what to do because she just can’t bring herself to believe either person is wrong. it’s also of note that in most fantasy verses, she’d been locked up, abandoned in a cell, for years. She doesnt tend to talk and, despite trying to push a tough and uncaring act, she’s still scared. she’s still traumatized. a lot of the time she wont even talk. this is the everything tab also so be aware she has a scar over her right eye, and her right eye is a silvery blue verses her normal blue eye. she’s also pretty much blind in her right eye, but the color is due to heterochromia. her twin brother has one blue and one green.

she is very noticeably neurodivergent when you talk to her, and as many fellow a/utistics point out, cats tend to have similar personalities to us anyways (ive seen a many point out that if you can handle a cats support needs you can handle ours lol). usually shes fixated on something, but she’ll also use trickery of the tongue to get out of things when need be. she’ll unintentionally speak in riddles that make perfect sense to her, but others feel a need to solve. however in most universes where she ends up there, i do it post her escaping after the prince of he/arts (who kept her captive for years) overthrows his mother. She ultimately traverses due to remaining look/ing glasses from before the land was taken by the Hearts. Meaning she cannot get back on her own. But, she also does not want to.

It’s very important for the author to be aware that she cannot tell a lie. Muses not understanding is fine, because how would they know when cassie doesn’t know her own heritage in most verses (o/uat is currently pmuch the only fantasy verse where she was raised by her parents, making her aware shes the princess of spades, and aware shes a witch, but still unaware that the reason she cant lie is because shes a fae halfling) Cassie is a Fae Halfling, and fae/witch hybrid. The Fae half itself is a hybrid of Seelie and Unseelie like her father. I use pieces of real lore and pieces of my own here, but it doesnt really come up in writing much anyways. but she cannot lie to anyone, it physically tears into her flesh the moment words leave her lips. the only thing she can do is use trickery words to mis-explain, and even then it can titter the line.

Her cheshire invisibility comes from shapeshifting to match her surroundings, but beyond that she mostly can just change her hair color, slightly change her face for short periods of time, or as most often used and the longest shes capable of holding, turning into a silver blue cat.

fae wise her powers are largely elemental, water focused, and she doesnt know how it works. the faerie power she has most control over involves her own blood, which she can turn into crystalized weapons when shes bleeding. most often she’ll be using her witch abilities. in some aus, your character may see she has strange looking bands on her wrists and locked into place, meant to look like bracelets but unable to be removed. They’re power blockers placed on her by the prince of h/earts to ensure she couldn’t break out again. they keep her from using her powers, from healing, and otherwise.

her makeup made her an omen to the remaining fae of wo/nderland, which there arent many left there. they wanted to slaughter her father as well, but never managed to make it as he was too brutally powerful for them, either. The Fae had believed a seelie/unseelie hybrid, let alone a fae/witch hybrid, would bring death upon the whole of their kind. Ironically… Cassie’s technically a necromancer, and can give part of herself to bring others back to life permanently, or use weaker magic to bring them back temporarily. As such, when she dies, she tends to always come back, and oft with more power than before, and even less self control. She’s also the only reason her twin brother is still alive, but he wont admit to that.

purely human verses, she still doesn’t lie, but it largely relates more to the a/utism than anything else. she doesn’t like to lie in the first place, but has little qualms about confusing others when they get confused by her speaking normally. she doesn’t see a point in fixing that, especially when she can simply say a confusing, convoluted version of the truth to get out of actually admitting anything.

usually, because when i first wrote her a few years ago i actually combined her and this canon iteration (as shes basically what cassie would become if pushed fully to the limit) whos name i took, i’ll have her be the adopted daughter (and bio relative) of A/lcina D/imitrescu, with her sharing that name. Meaning she’s in her family’s wine business. She’s much more distrusting of men, between nearly being killed by one after watching him kill most of her family, kidnapped by him for blackmail until she found a way out, and her mother (alcina’s) own severe hatred of them. but still, honestly, if you’re nice to her she’s probably gonna get confused and fall for it.

theres also verses w @mastermiinded where shes E/llington F/eints daughter, thats probably the most normal cassie you’ll ever get if you want those but also she has a mom who loves her and was raised in a universe heavily involving a cult. she’s kind of bitchier tbh LOL

funnily enough, she is still always ready to attack at any given moment.

she knows a lot of knife tricks, and many would argue she likely belongs in a circus of some sort. she doesn’t like that argument, but she does know how to do multiple knife tricks, swallow swords, and do various slight of hand tricks. all while being blind in her right eye.

put in a multitude of self defense training, and for a brief time was even made her mothers bodyguard, she knows how to fight and she knows how to kill. whether or not she wants to is its own debacle.

if someone is out to get her and sb else tries to help, shes not gonna be cool w it bc she doesnt want others risking themselves for her, and it makes her feel like shes been kidnapped and locked up all over again.