#she's jojo posing a little bit

[hellionhearted]

"Thanks to you, I don't hope for things anymore. I just take whatever it is I want."

[brrrkdslek]

QUADRILATERAL LOVE!

✦ 057 — CARRYING THE 5TH GEN‼️💯🗣️

your heart raced as you stood on the stage then. it was just like every other time, except all eyes were on you, and only you. the feeling was surreal, you almost couldn't hold back the smile when you heard your many fans cheering your name.

as the music started, you counted the beats in your head and danced along to the song. your very first solo song—crazy diamond. yes, it was a reference to your favourite anime, jojo's bizarre adventures.

"my head is out of control." the flash of your evil grin made the crowd go wild. thankfully you weren't completely alone as your backup dancers circled you according to how it was rehearsed.

even through the terror and fear of fucking up your first ever debut live on inkigayo was heavy on your shoulders, your body moves fluently and each word of each verse and rap rolled off your tongue smoothly.

you hadn't even realised the song ended until you hit your ending pose and panted heavily as the crowd cheered and roared. if it weren't for the nudging of one of your backup dancers, you wouldn't have known it was time for you to hit your ending fairy.

you flashed a cute smile and blew a kiss towards the camera as the crowd screamed louder. for some reasons, there was a tightening feeling in your chest. you wanted to throw up, the thought was overtaking your body.

your face was blank as you walked backstage and let the staff change you and remove your makeup to head back to the company for a surprise party.

your heart was still racing as you sat on your soft leather chair, the makeup assistant gently rubbing the makeup off your face.

only upon a soft tap landing on your shoulder had you realised you were in the van, and already back at the company.

"you okay, hun? i thought you'd be more excited for your first solo debut..." your manager, holly(joestar), mumbled worriedly.

you shook your head, "it's not that, i'm just...." you trailed off, unable to put the sickening feeling in your stomach to terms. everything seemed wrong, blurry. you couldn't describe anything, were you even feeling it?

holly sighed as she rubbed your back, "it's okay, i assume your mood would get better when you step into that building." she tried to contain a giggle.

you chuckled, already having an image of what's waiting for you after entering the two large doors of the company.

just like you thought, the moment you opened the door, a small figure pounced themselves onto you. not even needing to look, you let out a soft chuckle and pulled down your mask.

"hey booms." the boy on your lap squealed and attacked you with kisses. you chuckled, unknowing of the lipstick he had on that was staining your face.

holly snorted and turned away, not wanting to ruin the surprise until you get inside. she composed herself before walking over and lifting boomi off your body by his armpits, "alright lovebirds, let's get inside shall we?"

boomi nodded excitedly and zoomed into the room, turning around to hurry the two older women inside.

you chuckled and stood up from the ground with a soft grunt, watching your little brother disappear into the room. holly patted your back, "feeling better?"

you frowned, for some reason the sickening feeling was still there. you forced a closed eye smile and let out an awkward laugh, "yeah, that kid always lift my mood." but why isn't it working now?

you brushed off the feeling and entered the dark room. you jumped when you heard a pop, the lights suddenly turned on and you shielded your eyes before letting out a tired groan.

"surprise!" a mixed voice of your and ateez' members filled the room as confetti splayed all over your head, covering you from head to toe.

you chuckled as everyone congratulated you. hongjoong passed you a champagne bottle as you stared at him a bit dumbfounded. you blinked a few times as hongjoong nodded with his arms crossed, like a proud father.

your eyes grew watery as you swallowed your emotions and shook the bottle violently as the staff pulled out their phones to film. popping the cork open, the champagne sprayed all over the place as your song blasted in the background.

some foam spilled on boomi's head and he scooped some up with his finger and eyed it curiously. "bubble!" he exclaimed before shoving his champagne-bubble-covered finger into his mouth.

it was chaos from then as everyone desperately tried to wipe his tongue and stop him from crying at the bitter taste.

you excused yourself top the bathroom and splashed some water on your face. no matter how much you loved boomi and how much you were willing to sacrifice for him, it's hard to always be on equal footing with the child.

you clenched your fists as some water dripped from your bangs and onto the sink, you watched the droplet flow into the drain. it was always about him, even now. today's supposed to be your special day but everyone's attention always goes back to him.

why? is it because he's younger?

maybe it's cause you can take care of yourself, but he can't.

the two voices were like angel and devil; one wanted to understand and be considerate, so selfless. but the other wanted to be angry and be envious, so selfish.

why? why is it that a 12 year old isn't capable enough to be independent?

maybe it's cause mother never took care him-

"she never took care of me either!" you shouted and slammed your fist onto the counter, the booming music from the main room muffling your pained scream.

the voices quieted down as a tear rolled down your cheek. you were always on your own, even after boomi was born. you were oh so lonely, such a sad and pitiful child. just thinking about it made your stomach churn. but even with such a heavy heart, you stood strong and pulled boomi from the chains that bounded you all your life-

did you?

...what?

are you that sure this is the best of his life?

i saved him-

he'd been bedridden for how long now?

your dull eyes widened as you continued to watch water drip down the sink, the transparent droplet was becoming more apparent. you could see the droplets better and clearer, is it the treatments you've been getting from holly?

oh.

you looked up at the mirror and saw the red liquid dripping from your nostril. your hand came up to wipe it away but it kept going. you cursed and tilted your head up while pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to stop the bleeding.

you heard a knock on the door followed by a loud muffled voice, "y/n? can you hurry, i need to pee!" yunho shrieked from outside as the image of him pressing his thighs together while shivering could've made you laugh if not for your situation.

you licked your dry lips and hummed, "i'll be out in a sec."

<PREV𖤐NEXT>

©BRRRKDSLEK 2024

[buttercupblu]

one day, the clouds parted and an Angel tumbled down, falling all the way from the celestial sphere, but landing light as a feather in a bushel of white roses. she looked up at the sky—brushing off her darkened wings—and with squinting eyes, gazed at a kingdom so bright but so rigid and said with a calm breath, "well screw you, i didn't want to be a part of that snooze fest anyway." and promptly made her own Heavens on Earth.

(in no particular order...maybe)

one punch (OP)

jojo's bizarre adventure (JJBA)

jujutsu kaisen (JJK) (lowkey regret the day i pressed play on this🤭)

record of ragnarok (ROR)

eventually attack on titan (AOT) once i'm finished with it (Levi should've been in the harem 🧍🏾‍♀️)

Angel's Heavens and why she loves them:

🩷Buddha (ROR): this man is my Lord and personal savior—watch ROR if you don't know what i'm talking about. Buddha exudes peace in his every waking and sleeping moment but try him if you want to and earn a first-class trip to Nirvana 😘. his tongue game is BRAZY (you've seen the gif) and he loves to BITE. he makes sure we do yoga together every single morning to start our day and after making sure my back is nice and stretched out, he breaks it 🧘🏾‍♀️. but he always puts me back together with soft coos, humming purrs, and tender strokes. this man is my lock screen, my peace, my husband, my everything. i keep him fed and not just with food; he will never know hunger as long as i am alive 🤍

💜Geto (JJK): mymanmymanmymanmymanmyman. if Sugu asked me to have his kids, i would say "how many baby?" and i am clearly not mother material 🥴. my husband #2 that i would turn my back against the JJK world for in a heartbeat. he could call me a 🙈 and i would say thank you. in all realness, i get geto. i really do. my little alien, my little aquarius, he just wants justice at the end of the day—truly. not power, not dictatorship, just for things to be right, safe. there's something about his maternal instincts that lets me know he would take suchhhh good care of me—he's so careful, so understanding. i'd never have to lift a finger (except when i'm being a brat) and his Suave Commercial locs make me want to wrap them around my fist and pull. he has a face card that will never decline and baby, i keep on swiping 🤧|sidenote: i need his gender pls and ty

💜Choso (JJK): my pookie-wookie puppyboi boyfriend Cho, what would i ever do without you??? idk, there's something about Chosito that sets my motherly instincts on fire 🔥 . i want to love on him, nurture him, care for him, and absolutely reduce him to tears all in the same breath. he's such a family man, so full of love and kindness and security and i adore that about him. my soft and gentle man, i feel like he's a 70-30 sub-dominate switch but gIRL do not be fooled 😩—when that man loses all sense in that cute little pig-tailed head of his, you better have an icy pack and aftercare on standby 🧍🏾‍♀️

💚Josuke (JJBA): oooohmygAWD 😩 what isn't there to say about boyfriend #2, Josuke?? the hair, the moves, the suave looks, the no-bullshit attitude. besides Dio, baby invented jojo-posing like, kneel before your Leo king?? he's so cute and creative and such a quick thinker like omg part 4 had me STRESSED, but he gets his quick wits from his no-good cheating ass pappy 🤭. josuke keeps it real, calm, cool, and collected. he's a bit too forgiving (fk Okuyasu) but that's only because he has a 💗 bigger than his hair, and when im not spending hours styling it and getting him together in the morning, im daydreaming about his love, care, and cuddles i get every night. and if i ever hurt myself, he's quick to heal my boo-boos with magical kisses🤍

💚Narancia (JJBA): my silly little goof ball pup #2, omg he's so precious and innocent and deserves soooo much more 🥺. Narancia is just...pure unadulterated love in human form. he doesn't judge, he doesn't reject, he's a bit quick to anger but it's always deserved because look at him!! how could you be mean to such a precious little thing, he wouldn't hurt a fly (unprovoked). my baby's a little slow but what he doesn't have in genius, he makes up for with his heart. and that boy can dance and dress his ass off, lets fking goooo skintight leather steel-bone corset top 🗣️

🩷Sukuna (JJK): ok listen....hear me out...balance🧍🏾‍♀️. he brings balance. everyone else is muddled and normal, soft, or innocent but Kuna resides in the extremes, is the perfect polar-opposite of Choso, and rounds out the group with good ole fashion discipline 💪🏾 (read Exercising with Sukuna if you don't believe me). he's not my favorite to deal with because the man puts the ass in asshole bUT it's good for my soul to toughen up every now and then. if you want something done and you want it done right, ask Sukuna. he'll grumble and berate you the entire time but sh*t will get done and better than you ever thought it could be. .......he also has 4 arms, 2 dicks, and a stomach mouth—good fkin bye.

🩷Saitama (OP): he makes me laugh, there's not much more to say 🤣. the most normal out of the group and the most nonchalant. Saitama is literally my best friend who never takes anything seriously just like me. our favorite hobby we do together is literally grocery shopping and i will wake my ass up every saturday morning to be by his side as he spends way too much time comparing fruits and vegetables just to get the same things he does every time. he's also the strongest and would deck everyone on this list if it came to it (argue with the manga, not me 🐸☕️)

honorable mention: Levi (AOT) because this short king 👑 cares too much and gives no f**ks at the same time and has the best resting b*tch face/face card i've ever seen 🧍🏾‍♀️

🪽current fav fic written by Angel: God is Fair|Suguru Geto since you were young, you knew you were meant for each other. he comes into your life like a storm and grows closer no matter how distant you seem. he swells and captures your heart every time he's near. so why do you keep fighting him? angel's note: full of backstory, poetry, and tear-your-heart-out angst with one of the sluttiest, smuttiest part twos in existence

🪽current fav recommendation from another author: One, Two, Three (it's not only you and me)|STSG x Reader "what suguru is trying to avoid saying is the whole cliché of 'we saw you from across the bar and we really like your vibe'," the white-haired man says, gaze flickering down your body. he looks back up, making eye contact. "but it's true, so we were wondering if you'd like to join us for some fun," he says casually, blue eyes piercing. angel's note: and it comes with an AMAZING playlist yall wtf 😩🖤

🪽current fav song to write to: Cigarettes out the Window|TV Girl

🪽fav genres: [writing: nasty, slutty, toe-curling smutty smut, thrillers, enemies to lovers, coming of age]|[reading: psychological horror/thrillers🧍🏾‍♀️, silly goofy supernatural/sci-fy like John Dies at the End (an incredible series that will have you in tears from laughter, stg), dystopian fiction, fiction satire, coming of age/young adult, the classics (surprise)]

🪽hobbies: writing, reading, skating, graphic design, being outdoors as much a possible, being at peace

beats me 🤷🏾‍♀️

nah jk.

the real reason will forever remain a mystery, but i think it has something to do with connectedness.

the first major story i wrote was handwritten in the largest binder i could find in the 4th grade and was about fairies with elemental superpowers.

my first fandom was typed out on my mom's typewriter at her job and about 40/50 pages and was about the boyband B5 (shout tf out to you if yk who they are 🗣️).

both of these instances explored hobbies/interests that i was deeply into. i wanted to share my own take on these things that occupied so much of my time with others who also couldn't escape the clutches of favorites and fandom.

i also wanted to "escape" from a life i thought was dull and bland in favor of living in a world that was bright and full of color and literally in the palm of my hands.

now i do it just because i like to torture myself 🤍

i would create an entirely new world if i could, but i'll settle for pouring my heart out on tumblr

💗first and foremost, all of my characters are 18+. i don't really care for writing aged-up minor characters but when i do, it will be mostly fluff but they will be adults at the end of the day, especially when you consider real-world timelines.

💗smut: i know what you came here for 😏. this does include some more controversial dynamics like consensual non-consent (CNC), ageplay, petplay, power exchange (top, bottom, sub, dom, "slave", etc) rough play, but these writings will always come with tag warnings because everyone likes their tea different 😊

💗fluff: ofc everyone loves a bit of fluff. tis good for the heart to remember that you have one (not me though, y'all be safe)

💗angst 😈: there's nothing i love more than stirring the fictional pot. it hurts so good

💗long ass stories that are almost always projected to be under 8k but end up breaching 10k because i have no control over my life 🤠

💗i will write characters outside of my Heavens/top fandoms but i have to be familiar with those characters/show—keep that in mind in case i reject a future request

let's be civil little angels here

🚫hardcore gore/mutilation: love to read it but cannot write it. am baby

🚫unsafe fetishes: i am kink-shaming 💩, race play, STDs (god why does this need to be said), grApe, i n c e s t, necro, actual torture, etc.,

🚫cliche/exaggerated mental disorders: like saying someone who is very tidy has "OCD" or someone with mood swings is "bipolar"; those are incorrect stereotypes AND i am not licensed to give even fictional characters those diagnoses

🚫pregnancy: gasp, ik. but listen, i have no idea what it's like to be pregnant or have kids (other than my stuffies) nor envision that for myself because it does not seem like much fun 😅 and frankly, i don't really care for it as a plot point? i'd consider it maybe for a drabble request but no major plots

🚫anything else i may be uncomfortable with down the line. i don't have a lot of hard nos but people can get weird sometimes 👀

reblogs, likes, and comments = angel kisses and i have soft, plump lips so 👉🏾👈🏾

i'll eventually open up my asks for requests but this gojo fic (teaser here) is balding me and taking up alllll of my time right now. once they do open, i may be slow to fulfill requests but that's only because i care too much about making great content 🥺. until then, you can still blow up my inbox with reviews, recommendations, thoughts, nonsensical jibber-jabber, whatever; Come chat with the Harem

[oneatlatime]

The Siege of the North Part 1

I'll be watching parts 1 & 2 separately.

Once again, audio commentary is off. Saving that as a treat for rewatches.

Hey look! A giant breach in an otherwise impenetrable wall! Bet that's plot relevant.

This episode has already won. It's already perfect. This face is the last thing the patriarchy sees before death. Katara has so earned this.

And then they pan to the casualty line as well! This opening would have had me hollering at the screen if I had seen this as a kid. Doing my Spice Girls Girl Power pose and everything.

Pakku is still Poophead. At least his writing is consistent.

This is what Aang's all about. This is who Aang is. Just a goofy kid indeed.

Try Off.

Yue! Sweetheart! You're allowed to be confused but you're pushing this mixed signals stuff a little far. "This is wrong; I'm engaged!" *Does the bison-riding equivalent of the yawn and stretch like two minutes later.* I get it and I'm sorry, but you can't literally put the moves on a boy you've explicitly stated it's wrong for you to see. Excellent recovery from Sokka though. Totally not awkward at all.

Given the isolation of the Northern water tribe, are the Gaang the only ones who know what the black snow means?

Zhao the asshole's ego has been turned up for the season finale. And since when can he order Iroh around?

"Do you have a plan?" "I'm working on it Uncle." Translation: Nope!

I get it. She's under the massive pressure of her whole society's expectations and traditions and she just wants to be happy for a bit. But seriously, hot, to cold, to hot, to cold, in five minutes of run time? Not to mention last episode's flip flops too. At what point does it go from teenage angst to stringing the poor guy along?

"I like you too much. It's too confusing to be around you." Ouch. Talk about a no-win situation.

"You don't understand. I have duties to my father, to my tribe. I have to do this." AHEM

These two should sit down and really talk to each other instead of making googoo eyes. I think they would find they had a surprising amount in common.

RIP eleven arctic foxes.

When the chief talks about faces disappearing from the tribe, it pans to Yue, Poophead and some guy with a large amount of chin. Foreshadowing?

Is this the total population of the Northern Water Tribe? Why is the Fire Nation bothering to attack? All they have to do is wait 40 years and the isolationism will do the job for them.

I've been ragging on the Sokka x Yue Knots Landing melodrama, but this is just sad. Real talk, it's ouchy.

"The stillness before battle is unbearable." How would you know? Haven't you been behind your walls for decades? I guess it's set up for Aang's line, but it's a bit clunky.

One fireball just displaced their entire defending force. That inspires confidence. These guys are going to get flattened, aren't they.

One man army Aang is back!

The hammers used to trigger these catapults are making inches deep dents in the catapults' frames. That metal is way too soft. There's no way these things wouldn't tear themselves apart under the stress of operation.

Tying the catapults to the ship and to each other is clever. I wouldn't have thought of that.

OH MY GOD

Hang on what's her name

Jojo Siwa works for the Fire Nation ?!?!?

Appa murdered Jojo Siwa?!?!?

Math time! There are five waterbenders in each boat, five boats on this side, and judging by the ice spikes on the other side of the ship, five boats on that side too. That makes ten boats of five waterbenders, which makes 50 waterbenders, one Appa, and one Avatar to take out one fire nation ship.

Not the clearest shot, but I see 117 ships. So it's going to take 117 Appas, 117 Avatars, and 5850 waterbenders to take out this force. I bet they're regretting not training their female benders now.

You and me both Sokka. The Chief praises Sokka and calls Han on his behaviour twice in this scene. Makes me think that he knows that Han is an ass. Which makes me wonder why he's letting him marry Yue? I was ambivalent about the Chief until now, but if he's knowingly shackling his daughter to that, then I think the Chief is a jerk.

More math time! I count nine waterbenders here. This includes Poophead, who's apparently good enough to teach the Avatar, so let's round up and call it ten. Ten waterbenders per fireball.

Jojo Siwa's ship has five catapults. Assuming that all 117 ships have five catapults each (which is a big assumption, because some of them must be support ships), then that's 585 fireballs without reloading. At ten waterbenders each, they're going to need an additional 5850 waterbenders behind the walls to catch incoming fireballs. I bet they're really regretting not teaching women how to bend now. And with the fireballs, how many of the healers have already been pancaked?

Interesting exposition from Iroh. Waterbenders are werewolves.

It's the problem from a century ago in The Storm episode again! The world needs a fully realised Avatar; the best Aang can do is just one (goofy) kid.

Ooof. Zuko is far from my favourite character, but the dynamic between these two is so comfortable, so well-worn. They feel like they've had no one but each other for years, which has made sense from Zuko's side of things since The Storm, but apparently Iroh has a dead kid (?!!?) and suddenly his side of things makes sense too.

"Remember your breath of fire." "Put your hood up." "Pack a lunch." "Bring a sweater." "Listen to your teacher, learn lots, have fun!" "Call me when you get home" "Eat your vegetables" "Call your uncle. He misses you already."

Han is so well liked that when the guards see him getting attacked, they all collectively decide not to do anything about it. "Should we interfere?" "Nah, it's been a long time coming. He deserves it."

Zuko approaching the wall is accompanied by Blue Spirit music, but he's not wearing his Blue Spirit costume. Thoughts?

HYBRID ANIMALS!!!!! HYBRID ANIMALS!!!!! HYBRID ANIMALS!!!!!

Zuko is such a dumb smart guy. He can figure out that the turtle seals are coming up for air, but he can't figure out that marine mammals and humans might have drastically different lung capacities. Then again, if what the deserter says is correct and firebending is all about breathing, then firebenders probably have training on the kind of breath control that lets you hold you breath for extended periods. On the other hand, they probably learned that in water that wasn't so cold that it made you gasp involuntarily, so we're right back to dumb smart guy.

Does the Avatar world's moon cycle not work like ours? Our moon is out pretty often during the day, but Katara's waterbending is stronger at night. So the Avatar world's moon only appears at night?

Is there a connection between the spirit world and bamboo? The giant panda grew bamboo in the village gate, now we see a gate with bamboo behind it.

Strange face. Do not like.

You smack turtleseal? You smack turtleseal like a football?

Thought that was a palm tree for a sec.

Couldn't the Chief have reassigned Sokka in a way that didn't embarass him in front of all the other warriors?

Zuko's got some crazy swimming skills. He's also frozen to death at least three times by now.

"SHADDUP!" -Aang.

Avatar hypnotised by fish, more at 11.

How does Katara know that Aang's body can't be moved? Last time he went to the spirit world, she was sitting in a village gate cradling her brother's boomerang and Aang was ragdolling into a giant panda statue.

Might want to check your ego there Katara. You may be crazy skilled now but there's nothing wrong with backup.

Zuko having the same problem as Sokka and Aang with announcing his sneak strikes.

I love that when Zuko shows up Yue's just like Biyee!!! I wish I could make that into a gif. She ZOOMS.

It's a good thing that Katara knocked Zuko unconscious because otherwise there's nothing permanent she can do to stop him. Ice cage? Melt it. Water cage? Turn it to steam. Fire always undoes water.

Firebenders are powered by photosynthesis. Zuko one shots Katara here. Even powered by a full moon it took Katara a whole lot of moves to incapacitate him, then he gets one sunbeam and knocks her out with the recoil of one blast. Katara may be the best student Poophead's ever had but Zuko's got years on her.

Clever use of the otherwise counterintuitive ship doors: combination battering ram and landing ramp. Neat.

I normally don't agree with Zhao on anything, but my math shows that inevitable is the right word for the outcome of this battle.

"Where did they go?" How about up the giant very obvious path that is the only way out of the oasis that isn't through a city full of waterbenders on high alert?

Verry cool image to end on, but wasn't the fact that it was brilliantly sunny two minutes ago actually an important plot point?

That's it?

Well. Ok. That's a bit of a cliff hanger.

Final Thoughts

This one's really an obligate two parter huh?

How long has the Gaang spent in the Northern Water Tribe? It feels like maybe a week? Zuko couldn't remain undetected indefinitely on Zhao's ship, so it can't have been too long. I feel like Katara's amazing skills would make sense even after just a week, because we've seen how she progresses quickly when she has the opportunity (the waterbending scroll really did work, loathe as I am to admit it). But I feel like Sokka and Yue's story arc, particularly Yue's changes of heart, would work a lot better if it was established that they'd been around each other for a while. They're both aware she's engaged, but they both make the resolution to just be friends, and before they know it they've spent countless hours together and fallen into horribly deep love and now they're in too far and they have to quit cold turkey but they just keep pulling each other back in like their love is inevitable and before either of them know it, they can't stop loving each other. Yue panics and the scene on the steps of the palace as soot falls happens. They both know that maybe it's wisest to stop seeing each other, but then the Chief assigns Sokka to protect Yue and now they're unavoidably thrown together and they're right back where they started and they can no longer even pretend to deny their feelings and the sheer strength of their love acknowledged wipes out the entirety of the fire nation fleet and when the firelord hears the news he has a heart attack and dies so the war's over and Aang goes into the jewellery business and everyone lives happily ever after and Aang and Katara get married when they're both 35 and Sokka and Yue rule over a joint north-south water tribe matriarchy.

Seriously. Yue is giving me Eowyn vibes. I am WORRIED.

I have my suspicions about the Chief. He'd rather a stranger from the southern tribe guard his daughter than her fiance? I wonder if Han was the politically powerful choice. I guess having only a daughter in a patriarchal society doesn't make for a firm power base. I wonder if the Chief's council or whatever picked Han, and the Chief didn't have the power to refuse. So instead he sends Han on a suicide mission and arranges it so that Sokka can spend time with Yue. Is the Chief aware of Yue's feelings for Sokka and trying to help sneakily? If that's the case, I rescind calling him a jerk. Maybe he has to be seen to favour Han in public, so he takes Sokka off the mission when he and Han fight with an audience, but assigns Sokka to his daughter when it's only Sokka in the room. Maybe the Chief ships them as much as I do?

Anyways...

The Northern Water Tribe have been staying out of the war completely, so why are the Fire Nation even bothering to waste resources on them? Their mandate is to capture the Avatar alive, so a full-scale indiscriminate assault on where he's staying feels dumb.

Zuko's one-sided banter with Katara recalled their interactions in the Waterbending Scroll with the pirates. Kind of off-putting, kind of insulting, kind of creepy.

Aang had a neat fight scene, but not much beyond that. I have a feeling he'll be the star of the next episode. Congrats to Appa on the murderous assist. Air nomads may have been pacifists but their bison sure weren't.

This episode set up a lot of dominoes. The next one is going to have to do a lot of things very quickly.

[uraniumnm333]

bouta hit you w the polysho fantasy AU that i will try to turn into a fic.

okay so first of all, i would like to let everyone know that i have been listening to classical, or in some way medieval/classical coded songs including Cendrillon, Servant of Evil, and Karakuri Peirrot (clowns) so this shit gonna go hard as fuck and ALSO TSUKASA TENMA

anyways. btw tsukasa's story is kind of based off servant of evil so

tsukasa and saki live together in the castle and are used as a sort of puppet for a shadow gov't. tsukasa believes that he and saki aren't related but saki knows. so the plot is to use saki as a sort of scapegoat to collect more resources from the people and eventually dispose of her when they don't need her by posing a rebellion. tsukasa overhears them plotting this the night before and tries to evacuate saki. he does this (yippee !!!) but the advisors (which are the people coming up w the plot) catch on. they present him as the one who was actually raising all the taxes, clearing saki's name but dirtying his in the process. also he learns they were siblings. in some sort of pirates of the caribean fashion, he escapes the day of his execution. i'm talkin bro JUST avoids that axe and sword fights some people.

so tsukasa gets the hell out of york. and bro has some major trauma at this point yknow. he's trying to hide out and figure out what the hell he's supposed to do next, because he's by all accounts supposed to be dead, and WHERE THE FUCK IS SAKI ??? and. bro accidentally summons mystical being Hatsune Miku. i have this in my mind as he's hiding out in the bushes, and bro is just. so done. he's camping out for the night and he's at like the breaking point. and he goes through the couple of things he still has (which is really not much) and breaks out a little heart shaped locket he has. and it's a picture of him and saki and he's looking at it and it HURTS because he misses her !!! and as soon as he learns that they're siblings ans that's his fucking sister she gets !!! taken away from him !!! and tsukasa just breaks down. just sobs man. and he's curled up and sad and he feels this tap on his shoulder and it's just "this is the end. someone found me i'm going to die." and he's about ready to because everything he lived for has been taken away from him !! and he looks over hsi shoulder and it's not a guard it's Hatsune fucking Miku, who is a god because why wouldn't she be.

n miku like. leaves him w wxs miku like "here's your guardian angel or shit ykyk. anyways gotta blast your god's favorite BYE !!!" and now he sees that along w his little heart locket of saki he now has a star shaped locket and when he opens it he can summon wxs miku. like she's a jojo stand. so he's still traveling and trying to stay undercover and bro kind of looks like shit. but he also knows he needs food because HOO BOY he's hungry. so he does the normal thing and starts going through people's trash bins. and he gets to The House That Probably Gives Out Full Sized Candy Bars (or the fantasy equivalent of that) and starts going through the trash and who walks out to see him but emu ! and she drags him inside and the ootori household is like "why the hell is this dirty stinky man who looks like he just crawled out of hell sitting at our dinner table ???" but they listen to him and he tells them that he's an experienced adventurer [lie] and he's out adventuring [lie]. and so they let him get cleaned up, he realizes his hair has grown out a bit, and they send emu along w him when he leaves. like. he's about to walk out of the door and say his thank yous before emu just starts dragging him along in the silliest way possible.

so emu and tsukasa hit the road !! yippee !! tsukasa's like spending the whole time a lil scared like "WHAT IF SOMEONE FINDS ME" and emu is just havin a good time. it turns out emu is a quirked up wizard girl and sends little letters to her family. and eventually she asks tsukasa about the locket n he shows her miku. yippee !! they also make money by running errands for other people. so they're runnin around the world and tsukasa is still trying to find saki AND stay as far away from people as possible. i'm talkin bro barely talks to the people he's workin w emu does all that shit.

so THEN they find this old ass tower and emu's like "let's sleep here tsukasa :D :D :D" and tsukasa's like "i would rather FUCKING DIE but okay. whatever." so they go in and spring like five different traps at once because those two are talented in being silly. and YOULL NEVER GUESS WHO rui comes out to investigate the two clowns he caught. and he's like "who the hell are you." as any normal person would question.

but of course he cannot resist the sillies and he's like "okay you can stay." and he shows them around and i'm taklin bro has the kookiest room imaginable got that clock hallway gears everywhere n shit you know how it is. and he tells them that he's an alchemist + cool mechanic guy. and emu is just falling in LOVE with his little robots. honestly who wouldn't i think they would be cute

and of course rui, magic man extraordinaire, senses the power of Hatsune Miku comin from the locket and he's like "lemme see that locket" and BAZOINGA !!! HATSUNE MIKU !!!

and while emu didn't know miku bc she was kind of like. a local thing. rui recognizes her IMMEDIATELY it's like if you were idk atheist or smth and Allah just appeared from your friend's neat rock he found. idk man i'm trying to draw a comparison. but the thing is while emu knows that there's some prince who's supposed to be dead from the country over, rui doesn't know that because he's a shut in. so they're both kind of missing information n neither of them can come to the conclusion that tsukasa is wanted for misuse of power tax fraud and tyranny. so rui's trying to figure out miku and emu's just happy she has friends and tsukasa is just havin a good time. they have a little sleepover thing in rui's room because normal.

rui being the first person either of them have really connected with in a while, they all hang out for a while longer have some fun you know. and then nene comes back !!! basically nene is a shapeshifter who usually shapeshifts into shadows because yeah. neato. and she also will go out for a while to make some money by selling rui's stuff. and she hears stuff and at this point word has really gotten around that people are looking for tsukasa !! there's a bounty on bro's head !!!

so she comes inside n only sees rui and he's about to tell her about tsukasa and emu but then she tells him first that theres a dangerous guy running around who is wanted !! and not in the good way !! and rui connects the dots and goes into Thinking Mode. and as soon as nene finishes this who comes into the room but Mr. FUCKING WAR CRIME HIMSELF !!!

so so rui emu and nene are all validly concerned about this and tsukasa's like "okay. listen to this. miku get over her" and tells them all about saki and evil shadow gov and almost dying and how he needs to keep looking for her. and miku clearly knows this but she does it in the silliest way bc tsukasa's over here sobbing his eyes out about his possibly dead sister and she's like "yeah !!! and THEN he almost died !!! isn't that wild !?!?!"

and yknow eventually they come around n clear his name or whatever and do some crazy theatre production. idk man ive been writing this forever eeby deeby yaba daba doo

[bengiyo]

The Warp Effect Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

The week of finales continues! I was forever changed by My School President. Will this show change me as well?

Last time, things finally came to a head at Jedi and Rose's wedding, which used prom as its theme. Jedi and Rose continued to make me believe in long term romance. See-ew committed the cardinal sin of proposing at someone's wedding. Mollie and Nim managed to reconcile a bit. Joe and Army danced in public, and are building their romance. Alex learned that the sex ed teacher was his bio dad and refused to forgive him for abandoning his mom. Alex tried to reconcile with Jean, but Jean refused. Kat is hanging out with Tony now. Alex learned that the camera came from his bio dad.

As always, so much happens on this show.

I do enjoy the sci-fi conceits of someone experiencing this huge period of time, and then returning to an earlier moment. Everyone else being so confused amuses me.

I also like Alex immediately going to reassure his little brother.

Clize and Sing are so funny together. I hope we see them paired again.

Alex getting ahead of the Mollie issue by kissing her himself is unexpected, but makes sense to keep it from becoming a rift between Nim and Mollie.

Oh, Alex, please don't out Army and Joe.

Yep, they're still closeted jocks, so yeah that's definitely the same outcome.

Jojo definitely likes Kill Bill, Vol. 2.

I love Jedi and Rose so much. Mark and Best look so comfortable together.

Have we not learned our lessons about drinking too much??

Jojo, why have you joined the ranks of people forcing me to witness vomit??

Ah, nice. Shielding the gays is the right move.

I swear if Jean gets expelled still because of these photos....

Fah is also so funny. She actually works really well with New. Cutting off the music when she passes out was fantastic comedic timing.

Alex is still a people pleaser, but I like him being confident about helping people.

I actually like the chemistry between New and Fah a lot.

I'm never getting over the BTS clip where Clize slaps Sing so hard that he walked away stunned.

This elevator make out competition is peak Jojo. Best, Clize, Mark, and Sing are so amazing.

It's a bit contrived, but I really like how far a little earnest validation is carrying all of these couples.

Even Sarran gets a nod.

Oh, I do love creating the intro at the end.

Absolutely comedic poses for Jean and Alex's consensual first time. Still, that was much nicer than what happened originally.

This friend group is honestly impressive if they all not only stayed in their pairs, they also remained friends for a decade.

Kinda hope Alex gets the memories of the better ten years and doesn't have to piece those together too.

Final Verdict: 10, Highly Recommended. This show was an absolute delight from start to finish. I cannot overstate how impressive it is that this show remained legible despite the sheer volume of threads it was managing. This show managed to be funny and sexy, while still continuing the mission to make people more comfortable with their bodies and aware of their own sexual health. It also managed to accomplish those educational goals without feeling like an after school special. It's also the queerest show we've gotten to enjoy in quite some time. I'd say in some ways it cared more about queer issues than some of the BLs we've watched. Please watch and enjoy this.

[bansept]

The Child of God

Part 8

I took a little break from writing this fiction because of university work, but now things should be a bit smoother!

I finished part 5 of Jojo recently, maybe a week or two ago, and I really liked it. Giorno's character is interesting to learn about, and I really loved seeing both Jonathan and Dio in him. Ah, makes me wonder how he would have turned out under other circumstances…

This chapter comes the first of violence and not-good Dio moments, so be careful!

Giorno was running around in the garden, chasing after a boy around his age while another was cheering for him under the shade of an olive tree. The sun was high in the sky, slowly starting its descent, forcing the facade of the villa's master to be covered in shadows. The young boy was chuckling, sweat forming on his brows and passing through the back of the fabric of his pink short-sleeved shirt. Bruno called the children out, scolding them for taking their sport session more seriously. Giorno immediately stopped smiling to rush faster, surpassing the still-laughing dark-skinned boy.

Resting a cautious hand against the window's frame, Dio observed.

Those other two children had been allowed to be what resembled most classmates to Giorno for a day, in an effort for the master's son to learn more Italian from people around his age. One was pale and weak, with an annoyingly high voice and poor manners while the other was loud, tanned, and taller than the blonde boy. They were named Narancia and Mista. Both were older, but it never once posed a problem to Giorno, who stared at them until the two lowered their gazes on their first encounter. Dio was only allowing this farce to happen in the hopes Giorno would learn to psychologically dominate them, use them as his pawns, if they could ever grow to be of any use.

One of the women on the bed shifted sleepily, stretching out to notice her master wasn't sleeping. The other woman, blonde, was silently trying to catch her breath and calm down. True enough, rest would be during the day for Dio, but his immortal body could go without sleep for a month if need be, and he had done enough sleeping. Dio didn't look back at the woman, whose name didn't matter, and closed the blinds carefully, the thick curtains gulping down any natural light, leaving the room in the dark, except for a single candle by the side of the bed. The woman blinked a few times, trying to watch the vampire sit down on a richly decorated chair pushed against a wall. The walls were covered in artworks and libraries, yet the skull on a mahogany pedestal seemed to be the most precious of all.

"Master Dio? Might I talk to you?" The woman asked, her voice still sleepy from the short nap she managed to get after serving the vampire. Dio gazed at her, his head tilting to the side, the incandescence of his intense orange eyes making the woman start to shake. She didn't dare to open her mouth again.

"You might." He answered simply, his deep voice calmly compelling her.

"I... I wish to serve you the best way I can, Master." She started, her brown eyes shifting to the wooden floor while her naked form moved to crawl at his half-clothed form. He didn't move, visibly uninterested. "I see the way you look with pride at Master Giorno. How lucky he is to be the son of such a man. No, such a God." She licked her lips as she got closer, groveling at his feet and daring to stare into his eyes. "Master, let me give you another son. Let me serve you and be a best mother than that whore who was honored to birth Giorno but was too stupid to understand it. Please, Master, let me have the honor to give you a son."

Dio gazed at her, his hand going lower to cup her chin up. She wasn't ugly, otherwise, she wouldn't be here. She had served him very well, and he intended for her to keep serving him. But it seemed women were just fickle creatures, no matter the century.

"Ah, my dear, you do not need to waste any breath of yours or time of mine. Giorno will be my only son." Dio told her, his voice as smooth as honey as his fingers progressed to her neck. "It is possible another woman was given this... Honor, you speak of. Multiple women might have given birth to other children of mine. Yet, Giorno is my only true son."

The dark-haired woman shuddered when she felt the elegant fingers dip into her neck, choking her slightly, as Dio raised to two of them together, slowly, in a standing position. He leaned closer to her, his breath caressing her forehead as he murmured.

"It was fate, or rather gravity that brought Giorno to me. It was his fate to be with me, Dio, to be raised. The other children I might have are not part of this fate. They are not a part of this gravity. They are of no use to me." Dio's hold on her was unbreakable, yet he didn't snap her spine or drank the few liters of blood that remained in her tired body. Instead, he pressed his thumb to her mouth, the tip of his claw-like nail reading to slice her tongue. Her eyes widened with terror, her body frozen.

His hand loosened from her neck, dropping her on the floor without looking back at her retreating form. Dio raised his hand at the blonde woman on the bed. Her blue eyes had silently witnessed the exchange and she knew better than to interrupt her master. Dio felt a tired smile form on his lips. He called out for her and she immediately stood up to join him, bashfully taking his hand. Dio snarled at her, eyes shining an unnatural color as his hand suddenly plonged in her stomach, a grotesque sound of flesh tearing apart and bone cracking turning his smile into an amused chuckle. The blond before him screamed in shock before she started coughing up blood, a look of utter uncomprehension on her face. She couldn't help a single word out as Dio's other hand ripped her throat out carelessly, the woman's blood splurting on Dio's naked chest and on the ground, warm liquid and tissue.

The other woman was backed up in a corner, gripping a library defensively, as if it could even slow Dio had he wanted her to suffer the same fate. The blonde gurgled in front of him, impossible to plead for her life, the smell of the blood from her throat and stomach filling the air. Dio looked at her, his chuckle gone, a bored look on his beautiful face. He pushed his hand out of her, the body hitting the ground with a thud.

"I will send for you again. Tell the other women to dispose of this one." He spoke to the other woman in the room. "I trust I have made myself clear on your... Request."

.

.

.

The skull seemed to look at him. Day, night, over and over, the empty sockets drowned him in distant memories of summer days.

Days where he'd meet this cursed family. Their ridiculous kindness and chivalry. Their laughable honor and kindness.

A century, even more than that, had passed. This brother of his he killed, the ancestral home he burnt. He did not regret a single moment of it.

For a moment, Dio saw a clear blue light flash from the skull, just like Jonathan stared at him in opposition.

"I know you're not capable of hating me, Jojo. That is your weakness. That is why your skull is here: to remind me every day of how pathetically weak you were, and how little influence you had has faded." His claws pressed against the skull, dust landing on his fingers. "Your family will die. I will kill them all. That is my promise to you. And once every Joestar is gone, once I have butchered and burned their bodies, I will crush this sole reminder of you that exists."

The skull seemed to emit another light and an image of Giorno burned in Dio's mind. An insane grin crept on his lips.

"Giorno is my son. He will be raised as such, and if your low-lives descendants were to attempt to convince him of changing sides..." A bone-chilling chuckle boiled up his chest. "He will kill them himself, before bringing me their heads."

---

I do love Dio, but I don't intend to write him out of character. So he's gonna be un poco loco a little ehehe

Part 7 // Part 9

[munsontm]

“OH MY GOD DID YOU TAKE MY FRICKIN CORNFLAKES” — steve lol

@harringtontm & @musecraft

School runs were Steve's domain. Actually, most things to do with the boy's school were Steve's domain. The place made Eddie feel a lot of uncomfortable memories of his own educational experiences, and he avoided going near it when possible. Plus, everyone knew that Sam and Rian's dad happened to be a very famous rock star, and he held no desire to make his kids' lives more difficult because of that. But not even a cosmic supernova could keep him away when one of his boys graced the stage for school plays. Sam had aced playing the role of his namesake last year in a production of The Hobbit, of which Eddie helped him learn his lines for weeks before. Then when the moment came, Eddie sat front and center with Steve, recording the whole thing half in tears with pride.

Rian wasn't as dramatically inclined as his older brother but had still bagged himself a role as one of the mice in this year's production of Cinderella. And Eddie still meant to sit front and center, maybe let Steve record this year since they intended to bring Joan with them to watch, too, who managed to sit without fidgeting as much nowadays compared to a year ago. But that wasn't for a few weeks yet, so Eddie awoke one Friday morning to find Steve had left early on the school run to drop Rian off for a rehearsal before school. Leaving Eddie to his usual yoga routine on the deck with his feral daughter. He had a feeling that Joan was just in it for the fruit smoothie afterward, and he respected her decision to pretend to like something to get what she wanted. It was a very Munson move on her part.

At some point around the time Eddie and Jojo were settling into their downward dog pose, Steve returned home and started grouching about his cornflakes from the kitchen. Father and daughter shared a look across their yoga mats, the latter whispering, "he's hangry," with a childish giggle that nearly made her topple over. Eddie, on the other hand, resisted laughing, mostly. When the kid was right, she was right. Steve sounded pretty hangry. Undoubtedly, he'd skipped his usual breakfast to get Rian to his rehearsal on time, and he now needs to pout over it. Eddie could hardly contain his affectionate smile despite their daughter being the only one to witness it.

"I don't know nothing 'bout your cornflakes, babe. I'm not allowed to purchase food, remember? I can't be trusted with that, according to you." Apparently, beer, instant ramen, and pop tarts were not what growing kids required for nutrition. Bummer. The memory of Steve's outrage still amused him to this day. "But if you come sit your ass out here for a little bit and chill. I'll make you a smoothie once we're done, yeah?"

"Smoothie!" Joan squealed, dropping back to her knees with her selective hearing in full throttle, under the impression that she was getting her heart's desire immediately. Ah, impatience, a folly of having Munson DNA. It was good at getting in the way of their manipulative schemes.

"In a bit, baby bug. We ain't done here yet." He replied as Steve appeared, pouting, as Eddie had predicted. Then, Joan decided to take the news that she'd have to wait badly and rolled onto her back with an exaggerated groan, kicking her miniature legs about like an angry cat. Honestly, these people thought he was the dramatic member of their family? For a brief moment, Eddie suddenly felt mildly offended at the common accusation of his character. Clearly, his husband and daughter were just as bad. But he didn't hold it against them this time, deciding to finish early and feed his two drama queens.

"Alright, alright, no need to assault me with harpy noises and sad eyes. Joany, go get the blueberries and bananas. Papa Steve can cut up the peaches. Now get going before I change my mind." Smiles emerged all around before Steve and Joan raced to the kitchen, and it gave Eddie the warm fuzzies to know that he'd done that; he'd made them smile and turned their sadness into happiness. It was a far cry from where they'd been two years ago. He meant to keep it that way. Making his family smile. That would be Eddie's domain.

[taiblogcomics]

Planting the Seeds

Hey there, franchises unlikely to be represented in a card game. We may be halfway through August, but we're not anywhere near halfway through Countdown, so let's get into it~

Here's the cover:

Oh, yes, "Ivy League", how very droll. Except the ivy league colleges are, like, the best of the best? And neither the Piper/Trickster duo or this comic series in general are that. This cover isn't even that! You got Poison Ivy just dully staring into the camera while half-heartedly Jojo-posing. Piper and Trickster dangle uselessly from some tree branches, much like their plotline dangles uselessly from this whole series. Just kinda lackluster in general. Not the worst by far (I still think there were a few Avengers Arena covers that get that title), but not the ivy league of covers either~

Anyways, the plot so far. Pied Piper and Trickster are trying to find a safe hiding place from the Suicide Squad. Jason Todd and Donna Troy are bumming around the multiverse trying to find Ray Palmer. Jimmy Olsen is trying to find a constructive use for his new superpowers. Mary Marvel is trying to find a magic teacher for her new superpowers. Karate Kid and Una are trying to find a cure for whatever is killing Karate Kid. And Holly Robinson and Harley Quinn are trying to find a reason they're even in this plot. All of this is trying to find a way to connect itself to a dozen other tie-ins. Let's try to find a reason to care~

So we open with Karate Kid and Una, still at Oracle's base. She's scanning Karate Kid with some sort of futuristic, sci-fi-looking MRI machine. Like, why does she have this? Where does she keep it? Does this come in useful a lot in her tech guru skillset, or is this just an impulse purchase she made and she's just glad to have a use for it? Anyway, the results are inconclusive: whatever disease is killing Karate Kid is either from space or the future, and she has no data on it. Una briefly gasps and whispers something about "the Great Disaster", which will be important in another 30 or so issues! She gives them the name of a geneticist who may or may not exist, calling him their best bet, and wishes them luck.

Over in Gotham, Zatanna and Mary Marvel teleport to Zatanna's ancestral home, Shadowcrest. It's always neat when a building (a personal residence in particular) has its own specific name. It's an impressive spooky manor, complete with its own candelabra-clutching butler waiting at the door. It requires a magical password to enter, and all the staff is actually just magical constructs, dismissible with another password. Zatanna explains this is all pretty basic magic, the kind Mary will be able to do with a little training.

Meanwhile, in the microverse or nanoverse or whatever we're calling it now, the Multiverse Crew have also located magic. Naturally, Jason Todd is condescending to the head wizard, just because she's short or looks like a child (it's hard to tell with the art style). They did, in fact, meet Ray Palmer earlier, and they'll tell them the same thing they told him: the Great Disaster is coming, and they can't stop it. With that, they use a spell to depart from this reality, leaving our heroes baffled and also suddenly surrounded by hostile bug people.

Still in Gotham (I assume), Piper and Trickster have found another place to hole up, an abandoned-looking greenhouse. This is actually handy, since it's also given them a bit to eat. But as they discuss what to do next, they suddenly hear someone else: a women's voice, answering someone unseen--or unheard, perhaps. And as they turn to see, Poison Ivy unfurls from a large flower bud, yawning, asking her distressed flower to slow down and say exactly what "they" did. She turns herself upon realising, and intones "I'll kill you."

I will give the comic credit here: this bit is funny. It's an entirely silent gag where Piper and Trickster look at each other, then look at the pile of fruit they've picked in their arms, drop the load, and run. They complain how of course the abandoned greenhouse in Gotham was Ivy's territory, but before they can get very far, the trees start pelting them with fruit until they fall over (what was the complaint about picking them, then?). Ivy cocoons them in vines, and starts threatening them with bodily harm and possibly a future as compost.

We get a brief scene of the Women's Shelter, where Holly and Harley are exercising. Harley asks how the meeting with Athena went, and Holly reports that she's to report for a "self-esteem exercise". Harley is ecstatic, since this means Holly is "in". She doesn't explain what this means, just that she'll have to train hard. That's the whole scene! And likewise, the next Mary Marvel scene is basically just Zatanna showing Mary her library and collection of magical objects. Mary is impressed, but you can see the greed in her eyes as she mumbles about all the power Zee must command…

Who haven't we checked on yet…? Oh yeah, Jimmy Olsen! He's in this too! Jimmy's wondering about his powers, how to use them, and why he can't control them beyond being in danger. He wants to use them to help folks, reflectively looking at his signal watch. And then he realises something--except he doesn't understand why he knows this. As Clark comes in, Jimmy confesses that he's Mr. Action, the new superhero on the block. Clark asks why Jimmy's trusting him with this information, and Jimmy yanks open Clark's shirt. No, it's not about to get steamy (not in that way, at least). No, the comic ends with Jimmy revealing he knows Clark is Superman, exposing his costume.

Well, this issue did have one good joke, at least! That's more than I can say for some of these issues we've covered, eh? Too bad that's about all it had. Like, it might just be me, but does it feel like anything happened in this issue? Never mind it ending on a huge bombshell, end of issue cliffhangers don't count. But it really feels like everything here is just setup, doesn't it? I mean, every issue feels like that, which might be the most ongoing problem of this book. An ongoing weekly series is all just going to be constant setup for payoff that won't happen for months--if it ever happens at all~

[mirukosbitchywife]

mina ashido, tenya iida, kyoka jirou, sero hanta, and momo yaoyorozu x reader obsessed with jjba!

part one to a four part series!

i loved this request! i really love jjba as well so this was fun to do! i hope you enjoy it! some of these were harder than others

mina ashido:

•mina definitely watched the anime up to stone ocean. probably reads the manga too. favorite jojo is jolyne and favorite jobro is okuyasu/foo fighters

•she cosplays from it, especially the pink characters like reimi sugimoto, trish una, and yasuho hirose

•still.. when she sees your obsession she's like Wow. not in a bad way tho. very supportive of it, loves seeing you so passionate about something, but is a little shocked by how much merchandise you have. absolutely will compare you to izuku. not so secretly actually loves your little trinkets and such.

•will do jojo poses with you for pictures, tiktoks, literally whenever you two see each other. very fun

•buys you lots of little things related to ur favorite characters 🥺 like those necklaces, stickers, keychains, plushies, anything. even if you have something similar she will still get you something if you don't have it

tenya iida:

•i really went back and forth on this but i'm going to settle on he has not watched it and does not know what it is.

•will watch it with you if you ask. is absolutely flabbergasted by what's going on. it's nothing like he expected. his favorite jojo tho is jonathan and favorite jobro is probably kakyoin

•is also probably a bit surprised by your collection of merch but doesn't say anything. is very supportive of your hobby as long as it doesn't interfere with your work.

•will complain if you do jojo poses for important pictures but otherwise doesn't mind, you might even be able to convince him to do some of them with you

•might not really understand the whole simping for characters thing but is cool about it. will also buy you things related to your favorite characters just to see you light up

kyoka jirou:

•for sure watches jjba. horror anime lover for sure, is really into the magic stuff. favorite jojo is jolyne, favorite jobro is maybe naracia?

•absolutely loves the music reference, may or may not be what drew her to the series, has a whole playlist full of songs/bands that have been referenced in it

•is impressed by your collection of merch. has no room to talk bc i just know she hoards instruments and music stuff in her room. likes looking through all the stuff you have

•could mayhaps be convinced to jojo pose with you if she gets to pick the pose. otherwise doesn't mind you jojo posing in pictures really, it makes her smile

•she would probably make playlist inspired by ur fav characters/maybe even make a song inspired by them for you if you'd enjoy that. if not will totally get you other themed stuff, will also send you memes of your fav characters

sero hanta:

•knows what jjba is, currently is reading the manga, is probably rlly far into it too like part 7 or 8. fav jojo is maybe josuke? probably finds him relatable. fav jobro is okuyasu or mista/naracia (they come as a two pack btw)

•might also have some merch in his room, like manga and posters and stuff, but not nearly as much as you have. doesn't react at all to your collection, nothing can surprise him with the friends he has. gives you lots of compliments on the things you have.

•will ABSOLUTELY ask to borrow ur manga volumes and takes very good care of them. might even ask you to read them together 🥺

•finds it really fun that you always do jojo poses, will start doing them without you without being asked. will photobomb ur pictures of u doing the poses too

•will absolutely send you memes of your favorite characters to make you squeal in happiness!! also sends you any fanart he sees, might even commission your favorite character to be drawn/painted for you

momo yaoyorozu:

•does NOT know what jojos bizarre adventures is whatsoever. never heard of it once. probably hasn't seen many shows in general. favorite jojo would be jonathan and her favorite jobro(or jomom ig) would be lisa lisa

•will watch it with you if you ask but is genuinely SHOCKED with everything that happens. is so confused when the murder and magic stuff starts. out of all the thing she expected from the title it was not this

•doesn't really understand why you do jojo poses in pictures but doesn't mind it, will do one with you but it would have to be a simple one and you'd have to show her how to do it

•will not make you merch for it(can actually in fact be convinced if it's something you realllyyyy want and nothing exists of it specifically. plus the puppy dog eyes. it was really the puppy dog eyes.)

•absolutely buys you so much jojos merch. insane amounts. any holiday or birthday you get everything you could ever want and then some. she's got money to burn

[crying-fantasies]

Though you may be imprisoned in a sea of stone...

After Eyes of Heaven events...

Synopsis: In a present that was different, different choices were made, and so a different future is ahead.

Warnings: Spoilers of Eyes of Heaven, Canon divergence, the so called "good ending" (If you find my tears it's because, for me, this is how it all ended in the real show, I will die on this hill).

.

The first time that you saw Jolyne was in the baby room in the hospital back in California, Polnareff was all out on how cute she was, Avdol sent his best regards from Egypt and Noriaki was on his way, the poor was struggling with the hour difference.

She was a small pink bean on baby clothes, you looked behind you and the proud father was there.

Almost 5 meters from the window.

"Come on, Jotaro!" Polnareff was the one that finally dragged the new father to see his daughter, it was the first time, the three of you only arrived a few minutes ago from the SWF after hearing in the middle of a fight with other Stand users that Jotaro's wife was in labor, just to get to the hospital with some minor injuries and a bit of blood here and there that was mostly from the enemy, the nurses retaining all of you because they believed that all were almost bleeding to death.

You never saw Jotaro like that, so decided to get as fast as he could to the hospital, but that determination flew out of the window the moment that he was so near to his newborn daughter.

"You need to put your hand under her head"

It was cute, seeing the man that you believed invulnerable now a bundle of nerves while carrying the baby in his arms, making her look even more little than she already was, it didn't help in the slightest that Jotaro was so big.

"Such a cute little girl" Noriaki finally arrived, it was better late than never, Jotaro and Polnareff were doing some guard outside, precaution in case that some Stand user was near, it was nearly impossible but the possibility was there, and it was even worse with so many of you in the same place.

"Is Jotaro coming back soon?" Of course Jotaro's wife wasn't aware of the whole ordeal because he didn't told her nothing about what a Stand was or why her husband was like a watchdog outside.

"Yeah, he is just..." You looked at Kakyoin, he was looking at other place, "he just got out to take a break"

Lying for Jotaro was kind of your job, you didn't liked it but you couldn't just ask him to tell his wife in what kind of family she married into, maybe it wasn't as hard as being married into the Mafia but to explain that she was now related to vampire hunters that used sun like energy and that used some kind of reflection of their souls was... really messed up.

But to be honest, even the people around him, and now the baby girl, were kind of weird.

"Look little Baby JoJo, this is how you tell others to fuck off from where I live" Polnareff was doing some hand gestures.

"This is how you say it in japanese" now Noriaki was doing the same.

You really should stop them, but you were their friend for a reason, "This is Italian style, from Naples" you also did your pose, the kids after you also did the same, learning this from you for the first time, Ungalo not saying a swear word in front of Jolyne and Rikiel trying to mimic you only to feel some pain in the back.

Jotaro just looked at all of you like you were idiots, and you were.

Jolyne was almost 5 when you helped her mother, who was to her neck on important papers from her work, to take the little kid to see her father in a town called Morioh.

"You see, that one looks like a star!" You and the taxi driver were smiling at her, pointing at every cloud in the way.

"Such a good eye" you would cheer her more, she was a lovely kid.

Jolyne would smile to then try and see if she could find something more on her way, when you finally arrived you were sure to take her little hand in yours, just using your instincts to search for her father.

"Papa!" Jolyne was cute, and seeing her running to Jotaro made something in you stir to some point.

Meeting the guy called Josuke helped you to go on with your life to some point, presenting you to his grandfather who asked if you were interested to work in Morioh.

It also helped you to find someone interesting among all the weird people on Morioh.

"Nooo!" Of course, it had its ups and downs, "I don't want to, don't leave me!" Jolyne was crying, attached to your leg for dear life, Jotaro was exhausted, the boat was waiting only for them and Grandpa Joseph was laughing while your own grandfather wanted to see if Jotaro's daughter would make you change your mind and return home with them.

"Jolyne, just let go"

"I will go to visit you, I swear"

It was difficult, but Jolyne finally let you go with tears in the eyes, biding goodbye.

Then you meet Jolyne again in Morioh a few years later, she was already 8.

"It's so little" she was amazed, moving her hand, her little finger was captured on the strong hold of your son's hand, "what's his name?"

"His name is Rei, after someone dear to Rohan" said man just scoffed like the thing wasn't with him, you let it pass, you would put a cake on Reimi's offering later, a little cookie on Arnold's too.

"He is cute"

"Do you believe so, little Jolyne?"

Ah shit, here he goes again, you and Jotaro thought at the same time, Joseph was already at it.

"Your little brother really looks like your father"

"For the last time, that's not my son!"

"No?" The old man feigned ignorance, or maybe he wasn't?

"No!" You and Jotaro shouted at the same time, you heard Rohan growling the same.

"Then I'm sure that when Rei grows up he would be a fine young man for you"

"Really?!" Her eyes were shining.

"Grandpa Joseph, Rei only has a few months"

"Shut up, old man, stop feeding weird ideas to the kids"

Even years later Grandpa Joseph's words maybe really held some truth, or so you believed when you noticed your son running with all his speed to the living room when someone called, the only telephone next to the couch where he would launch himself, "Hello, Jolyne-nee?!" His aquamarine eyes would shine if it really was her, but if not he could only go back to his room with a sulking face.

Not only your son was worried when you also noticed that Jolyne's calls frequency decreased in the last months.

"Jotaro, everything is alright back home? Is Jolyne alright?" You tried to be subtle with your question, generally Jotaro would have a heavy schedule due to his work and so he would have hard moments trying to have some quality time with his family, but he was supposed to be on vacation since the last month so you guessed that he was with her.

"..." You guessed wrong, he was in another part of the globe studying the migratory path of a whale shark.

Jolyne often visited Morioh with Holy when she was on vacation, your son's eyes would be shining all the time, but in that year Jolyne didn't visit the town, your son moping on the couch and watching bad romance movies nonstop.

"Ah, that's what I needed, some fresh and sweet first love failure to increase my references"

"God damnit Rohan, you are talking about your own son!"

It took you by surprise when the notice of Jolyne ending in prison finally arrived to you, and obviously you got her father with you to take her out, you weren't even surprised that he didn't have any idea of what was happening due to Jotaro even losing his cellphone on the darkest and deepest end of the ocean and never receiving any news of his wife or her desperation to contact him, you understood her, especially when your own kid was nowhere to be found.

"Rohan, where is Rei?" The father of your kids looked around, only Julius playing on the living room with his toys.

"Um, I believe that he said something about a sleepover" he tried to remember, but only could get his son saying goodbye with his luggage on hand, want was he supposed to do? He was concentrated with his new chapter!

"When was that?" Oh, but he could never said it now that you were like that.

"A week ago I think?"

"Rohan..." He felt your murderous aura.

When you and Jotaro finally arrived what you found almost made you want to kill him.

"In which moment did you got an Stand?" As far as you knew Jolyne didn't have one the last time that you saw her.

"Oh, because dad sent me this strange thing" she was calm even with all the disaster, it would have destroyed the life of any normal person but being weird goes in the Joestar's genes.

"That's exactly the same arrow that got missing a few days ago from the SWF" you looked at Jotaro who wasn't looking at neither of you, did he lied to you about not knowing nothing about Jolyne being in prison? "And do you care to explain me what are YOU doing here?" Rei only looked at you with a bored expression.

"First, because I wanted to help; second, Ungalo, Rikiel and Donni helped me get in here; third, you can't say that I don't look good on this skirt"

Jotaro and you were totally silent but he could feel your murderous aura, Jolyne started to laugh and Rei was practically shining with pride.

Apparently Jolyne kind of enjoyed her time in prison, now she had more friends, real friends, it was good, you only needed to be oblivious about the fact that most of them had a serious criminal record and even her new boyfriend was in prison because he killed his ex.

Yep, nothing strange there.

"I mean, I'm not that surprised to be honest" your youngest sibling commented, "she always had that rebellious airs like Mister Jotaro"

"As long as she doesn't starts saying a catch phrase we'll be good I guess"

Jolyne made herself her own phrase and now it was way more noticeable that she was Jotaro's daughter.

"I'm sorry if I caused you troubles" she said out of nowhere when you got her to Morioh to stay in your house, Jotaro needed to return to his work and Jolyne, after some hard words yelled at her father, accepted it as long as her father would spend some time with her when he returned.

"There is no problem, Baby JoJo" she smiled, it was night time already, Rei was sleeping on Jolyne's shoulder and then she started to fall asleep too, "don't worry, I will wake you up when we arrive"

"Thanks aunty" her little whisper was sweet even after all the shit that she just lived.

But Jolyne was fine, strong and healthy, so you could be at ease now.

"Excuse me" then a voice that you didn't recognize talked, when you looked back some kind of gloomy Stand was there, "Do you have water here?"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" You almost crashed the car.

"What-?! F.F. you weren't supposed to get out now!"

"But I'm thirsty!"

"Jolyne, what in hell is that?!"

Jolyne was a strong, healthy and extrovert kid, she was full of surprises, just now she lived a big bizarre adventure, just like her ancestors, and you knew that she had way more ahead of her.

[sohin-ace]

Josuke & Okuyasu - Magazine

Inspired by that one fanart I can't use because I can't find the artist.

Enjoy~

'Boys will be boys'.

We don't count the times this excuse was used to justify the hormone-driven and often stupid decisions or behaviors of male teenagers.

This applies to our two protagonists, Josuke and Okuyasu who just happened to be at that age where boys were curious about their own selves but most importantly of course, curious about the opposite sex.

They couldn't really be blamed, sexuality was a normal part of a teenager's life after all. Which may or may not imply them oogling questionable things here and there or watching specific videos, for instance.

Josuke and Okuyasu decided to feast their eyes as a part of their numerous 'bro dates' as they called them, and made it a regular thing.

Of course, they made these moments very secret. Only them could know what sinful things they were doing after school. They trusted no one else than each other and nobody should ever know about their activities.

They especially couldn't let a girl know about their shenanigans. Oh no, that would be an absolute disaster if they were to be caught red-handed by a girl from their school. They would have to carry the heavy title of 'disgusting perverts', stamped right on their foreheads for the rest of their highschool years, if not their life.

One day as they got out of school, they decided to check out the X-rated section of a local konbini, section placed strategically in the far corner of the shop, and opened some nice porn magazine for their needy eyes. As one does.

"Yoooo Josuke check this out!" Okuyasu exclaimed to his friend while pointing to one of the pages, already blushing madly and coughing up an impressed chuckle.

"Oh my god!!" Josuke whisper-yelled to his friend, trying to not catch people's attention. "That's hot! You think those boobs are real?"

They kept on drooling over pictures of sexy women in bikinis or underwear and posing suggestively for 10 more solid minutes, completely forgetting about their surroundings.

They weren't really worried about getting caught as the section they were in was pretty far away from the entrance of the store and nobody really passed by this corner of the shop anyways.

As they were in their own little fantasy world, they didn't notice a certain H/C haired female coming up behind them.

"Hey isn't that the red head girl from last time?" Josuke commented as he pointed at a certain picture.

"The one who was licking a cherry? Yeah I think so." Replied his tan best friend who started chuckling.

"Who even licks cherries like that?"

"I don't know but she can lick my cherry if you know what I'm sayin'~"

They both snorted obnoxiously and stupidly to themselves until they suddenly heard a very familiar someone right behind them.

"Hey guys! What's up!"

The boys jumped, screaming high pitched 'Eeeks' and 'Uwahs' at the sound of your sweet voice startling them into the worst heart attack they'd ever experience, threatening to cut their short lives even shorter.

Josuke nearly dropped the lewd magazine from his clammy hands and they both turned around abruptly, sweating bullets as they desperately and clumsily hid the piece of dirty evidence behind their backs.

'Oh no. God, everything but not this...' They both thought in unison, as if connected.

The last thing they could have ever expected or wanted, was seeing YOU, of all people, here out of all places and now, out of all times. They really had the worst luck. Suddenly, getting struck by thunder seemed appealing.

"O-o-oh hey Y/N-chan..." Okuyasu stuttered shakily, still sweating profusely.

"What uh... Ahem... What are you doing... here...?" Josuke continued clearing his tight throat and eyeing his best friend with rising anxiety.

The boys were silently communicating, trying to come up with anything, any excuse to either hide their shameful crime from you, or make you leave as soon as possible. They had to work their so-called 'bro-telepathy' like they never did before.

"I was passing by to get some strawberry milk, but then I recognized your hair in the distance! I'm so glad to see you!" You smiled angelically at them while showing them your little pink carton of strawberry milk like it was some prize.

You were beaming so brightly at them, they almost had to squint at your radiating light and beauty. Oh no this was bad, they were both striked by you like an arrow right through their heart.

'She.... SHE'S TOO CUTE FOR THIS WORLD!' They both screamed in their heads.

You, in particular, should never know about what they were doing. EVER. You were way too pure and too innocent for this. Who knows what your reaction would be if you discovered their lewd secrets? Would you judge them? Be disgusted by them? Never talk to them ever again? They couldn't possibly risk that.

Sadly, they were not as glad to see you here as you were to see them. You eventually asked them the oh-so-dreaded question that they wished you'd never ask.

"So, what were you boys doing? Reading manga?" You leaned over to the side slightly trying to see what they were hiding behind their backs and they both panicked.

Obviously you didn't notice the big 'R18' sign over all three of your heads and surely, you couldn't know what this part of the store was since you probably never checked it in your entire life.

In an amazingly coordinated moment, Josuke swiftly handed the magazine to Okuyasu while walking towards you, passing in front of the Jobro, the action completely hidden from your sight.

Josuke came in front of you and grabbed your shoulders, smiling big and trying to act as natural as he could.

"Aah um yes! Manga! Actually there's this one manga I wanted to show you, good thing you're here!" The pompadour-haired haafu was still obviously in utter panick, even if he tried his best to play it cool.

As Josuke was trying to deflect your attention from their guilty pleasure, Okuyasu took this advantage to turn around and scurriedly hide the magazine back in it's original shelf.

You were confused at their shady behavior and furrowed your eyebrows a little bit. You noticed Josuke was sweating and panting slightly, but your eyes traveled to Okuyasu fumbling with the magazines behind and you tried to make out what he was doing.

But Josuke wouldn't let you discover their evil plan for anything in the world, and so, he cupped both your cheeks in his large hands earning a gasp from you as he almost squished them, and turned your head back to face him.

He leaned down to your height and your eyes widened, puzzled by his spontaneous actions.

"Y/N Look at me! Look at my eyes!" He stared at you with a serious expression and you blushed at his sudden bold act and how close he was.

"J-jojo...?" You yelped as your heart was beating fast in your chest.

You were so confused as to what the hell was going on and why they were acting so weird. You knew the two could be up to some truly bizarre adventures sometimes, but that was just so strange.

Whatever they were trying to distract you from, it was working. His face was so close to yours, and his big hands were so warm, you subconsciously put your small ones over his wrists in response, face now red with blood and adrenaline.

You were beyond puzzled at everything that was happening, but you were so lost in Josuke's ocean blue eyes, you completely forgot about what Okuyasu was hiding so clumsily.

Speak of the devil, the tan male suddenly came up to you both, and Josuke released you from his grasp as his best friend made a surprisingly genius offer.

"Ohh Y/N, you didn't pay for that milk yet, right? Good, it's my treat then! Josuke, let's get some too! I'm thirsty."

The scar-faced boy casually wrapped a large arm around your shoulders and swiflty turned you around in his strong hold, effectively dragging you away from the adult section of the store, and barely letting you any time to even glance at the overly sexual display around you.

"Eh? What about that manga you wanted to show me?" You looked back at Josuke, regaining your composure slowly.

"Oh that? Never mind, it's not important anyway- Hey Okuyasu, do you want banana flavor or chocolate?" The fourth Jojo quickly changed the subject as he opened the fridge doors and picked up some drinks.

"You guys are acting so weird today..." You loved the boys, and they usually brought you into their messes, that wasn't anything new, but sometimes you really couldn't understand them. "I'll go wait in line while you guys make up your minds."

You gently patted Okuyasu's chest who almost forgot to let you go and you walked away towards the cash register.

When you were finally out of earshot, they both stared at each other, thinking of how they just dodged a bullet so big, it might as well just have been an atomic bomb.

"D-dude... That was so clutch man...." Josuke sighed, still swallowing his stress out and his best friend only shut his eyes and cringed before grabbing his drink.

"Just shut up, let's not talk about it..."

"Aaahh!!" Okuyasu let out a loud sigh of delight as he sipped his banana milk. "Man, that hit the spot."

"Yeah! Nothing better than some fresh milk in the summer. Great idea Y/N."

You three walked out of the store and headed back home, enjoying your drinks. You giggled at their over-the-top reaction and handed them your own carton.

"You guys want to try strawberry flavor?"

"Oohh~" Okuyasu gushed before smirking and taking the item from your hands. "An indirect kiss from my little Y/N! Lucky~"

Josuke gasped and snatched the drink as well, snickering when he was done. "Can't say no when she's the one who proposed huehue!"

"Well you both drank from the same straw, so technically you two kissed too!" You laughed at their priceless shocked facial expressions.

"WHAT?!"

"Naah dude, no homo, no homo." Josuke patted his friend's back, reassuring him with the holy expression famous for saving countless men from potential homosexuality.

Okuyasu sighed in relief. "Yeah, no homo! Still in the bro zone, bro."

You snorted at their questionable reasoning and kept on walking when you suddenly saw two familiar faces coming towards you.

"Oh! It's Koichi and Yukako!" You waved and smiled at the couple who approached you.

"Oh hey guys, what are you doing?" The short male greeted with a smile.

"Oh nothing much, I bumped into them in the konbini." You sheepishly answered and Yukako quirked an eyebrow at the two suspicious looking males next to you.

"Really?" She feigned, still staring at them. "What were they doing without you I wonder..."

"I don't know, reading manga I think? I'm not sure, they wouldn't tell me." You tried to look between her and them and they seemed to glare at the girl as hard as she did them.

"Huh?" She scoffed and shifted her weight on one leg." I bet you guys were reading porn again. Y/N I can't believe your patience around those guys."

"HUUUHHH???" Koichi yelled in pure surprise at the revelation and you three widened your eyes.

"YOU FREAKIN- OH MY GOD SHUT UP!" Okuyasu gasped and screamed at the girl who was smirking in victory.

"W-what?" You stuttered and looked at the two visibly stressed boys. "Po-... I don't- ... What??"

"Y/N DON'T LISTEN TO HER SHE'S LYING!" Josuke guiltily tried to reason as you covered your mouth in shock.

"Well it's the truth, right? Did I hit a sensitive subject, perhaps?" The brunette chuckled cutely, infuriating your friends even more.

"YOU'RE DEAD!!!"

Josuke sprinted towards Yukako who easily hoisted her awe-struck boyfriend over her shoulder and ran for dear life, having no regrets whatsoever.

An old one. A very old fic, it hurts to read it. I'm going to go ahead and post some old stuff I wrote just to get them out of my drafts. I hope they'll be enough for my beautiful gangsters.

[petitprincess1]

What did you think of the Villainous eps?

Imma do a quick "review" since I can't fully understand everything that they're saying, but I can guess based on clues and what some friends translate for me.

Bulldozer and Airlock (Secret Sattelite): I honestly skipped the Bulldozer one and the Airlock barely held my attention. I'm probably not gonna bother with looking at them with the eng sub. I did watch a bit of the Airlock ep and....She's Samus. Like she's just a buff zero suit Samus and that's all I cared about because it seems like she gets vored in the end. Also, Demencia not being sucked out into space.....lizard powers, I guess. If you tell me because she has heavy stuff in her hair or her sticking powers keeps her from flying away...I will smack you.

VVV: It's okay. ......That's it. Nothing bad, nothing amazing. It was okay.

Muscular BH: This ep was so fucking funny! I loved it! I adore Buffmencia and Dr. Flex. I also love how much of a dork Sexy BH is compared to his other counterpart. Dude legit can't handle BH not finding him attractive x3 Also him constantly posing in some silly way is so good. I loved the "oh you're approaching me" JoJo reference! The only downside is that I dont like that the court thing was just 2 scenes. One being a gag and the other was the end credits. Could've been cut out....more time for that dorky BH. Also, Black piercing his tablet with his claw xD

Cruel Heart:

HEED MY BELOVED 💖💖💖💖

That's it. That's the review x3 Seriously, this the best episode of the entire season! Heed getting a mini arc/backstory was just *chef kiss* beautiful! Her relationship with Flug is super great too. Even if she was using him, the way she calls out "Kenny" in the end is so cute and it broke my heart aaaaaaaaaa! Like oh my god! This girl needs so many people loving her cause she can't love herself its just yessss! I take back all the awful things I've said! Heed is amazing!

Also, Goldheart looking adorable af! I love his redesign and the fact that he seems more annoyed with Flug returning than angered. Seems more like disappointment than anything else.

~~~

So, yeah, my quick little "reviews". The animation wasn't bad or anything, but it clearly isn't as good as it was in the pilot. The fight scenes are where the animation kinda tanks, imo. It's just a little jaggedy and rough. But, it's nothing terrible. I've definitely seen far, far worse and I've seen better. It's okay. Can't say much about story. Kinda guessed through context clues and friends' translations.

Overall....IS HEED COMING BACK?

[onebizarrekai]

v3′s art is comically terrible for a professionally distributed game in a series: a compilation

in this not-essay I will list all of the mistakes and problems I have spotted in v3′s art. don’t worry, it’s entirely for fun and I’m doing this on a whim, so please feel free to not take this seriously but also it’s hilarious and embarrassing how ridiculous this is like what happened did they speedrun the whole production or what

see, there are some things you can take as meta like ���they made it bad on purpose to allude to the downfall of tv shows that have been on air for much too long” but I have a very strong feeling this is not the case due to the nature of some of these errors

disclaimer, the more I study this art, the more I fear that the artists were underpaid and underslept, so if this is in fact the case, I am so sorry to all of them but also I’m going to make fun of the art anyway

anyway let’s get started!

if you study this image for longer than 5 seconds, you will see that kaede is the only one fully shaded and keebo is literally just his normal sprite pasted into the image. every other character is just an ordinary ref, hence most of them facing the exact same direction with neutral expressions on their faces. it looks like a bad edit, and is probably one of the worst pieces of art in the game. it kind of gets better from here on, but my roasting will not.

with that out of the way, here’s the problem that officially bothers me the most and clarifies my viewpoint of “this is not meta and an actual lack of company communication”

this freaking cg, which seems normal at a glance, but some wiseass was like “oh, kaede is a girl, so obviously she’s going to be shorter than the Male Protagonist™” ah, that’s funny. because if you look at the character bios, kaede is, in fact, one inch taller than shuichi and not like 6 inches shorter as she is shown here.

also shuichi’s shoulder is disproportionate and horrendous and he looks vaguely like a jojo character, but I wasn’t even thinking about that until right now.

thanks guys, 50% of the fandom who has never bothered to check these bios thinks that kaede is like 5′3 (did the developers really put so little thought into her to the point where drawing her correctly in the game didn’t even matter??)

also I would like to point out that, even though this isn’t related to the art itself, yes, a character kaede’s size being only 117 lbs is unfeasible, but this applies to literally every character in danganronpa ever and it’s not new news that it’s unrealistic

update: someone in the tags informed me that in versions of the game that use centimeters, like the japanese version, kaede is actually shorter than shuichi, which just adds another thing to the list of weird decisions the localization team made for no reason. that said, after confirming this, kaede is 167 cm in the original, while shuichi is 171 cm, which are approximately 5′6 and 5′7 respectively, but one inch is still nowhere near as drastic as it is depicted above. (in spite of this, I would rather depict kaede as slightly taller, so I’m probably going to keep doing that.)

the journey continues!

bro if you want kaede to have shoulder length hair then stick to it to begin with

you can pretend this is at an angle all you want but they definitely committed the shorter kaede sin a second time

wait a goddamn second.

DO YOU SEE THIS

no………… it wasn’t kaede who shrank. it was shuichi who got taller

speaking of which, can we talk about how shady the perspective is in this elevator pic? look at shuichi and kokichi in comparison to kaede. kokichi, who is canonically 7 inches (edit: or 5, if you’re loyal to the original) shorter than kaede, looks taller than kaede. he’s growing too. what steroids are these gays taking

running into the room, electric boogaloo: I don’t think tsumugi is supposed to be the same height as kokichi

gonta… gonta you’re lookin a bit like a jojo character there

I love how kaito’s head looks kind of like it was pasted onto his body. why is he the same size as shuichi? shouldn’t he be high school bully size or something? his torso is teensy

ah yes, white angie.

I love this cg but why is shuichi’s right hand so much bigger than his left hand

I also love how this cg looks like they literally took pictures of trees and pasted them into the background, especially on the left. the shadows are so weird, especially closer to the ceiling, it’s difficult for me to believe they didn’t do exactly that.

return of Enlarged shuichi

puberty update: kokichi is now taller than shuichi in spite of shuichi never missing leg day. what crimes will he commit

I have to mention it, guys. this has to be one of the worst danganronpa cgs. kokichi’s facial proportions look atrocious. look at the way his face sticks out like his jaw is in the wrong place. his scarf is a pasted texture. that’s it. this moment was so iconic but the cg just looks so… so… off. like something is terribly wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.

you know what? let’s get into that ‘pasted texture’ thing.

let’s imagine you’re an artist working on a professional game. you’re assigned to draw cgs of kokichi ouma, who has a checkered scarf from hell. sure, it will be terrible to draw, but you only have to draw it once at a time! plus, perspective is pretty important, right? can you be bothered? nah, actually. let’s just copy paste a checkered pattern into the cg, because I’m sure nobody will notice. it’ll blend right in with the other cgs that someone actually put effort into drawing his scarf in, right?

no. the answer is no and I very much noticed. this genuinely looks terrible and I would understand taking a shortcut like that in fanart or even an indie game but this is a full price pc and console distributed game

(an addition: look at kokichi’s TINY HANDS in that last one)

meanwhile, they straight up forgot to color in kokichi’s scarf in this cg.

dude. I forgot about whatever the hell this cg was. anyway look at keebo please just look at him

lovin kaito’s baby arms

real talk, maybe you could argue that he’s missing muscle because he’s deathly sick, but most of his cgs don’t line up with this, and his arms just look disproportionate to his torso size (granted this is a consistent problem across all danganronpa games and a lot of characters have this weird problem, like hajime, but also kaito is bigger than hajime so I kind of have higher expectations of him) maybe it’s his stupid goatee and the way he reminds me of yasuhiro?? it creates this illusion that he’s older than he is and so I keep expecting him to look more like an adult

oh, also rantaro is missing some of his accessories in that video he made–you know the one–but I don’t wanna go back and screenshot it

also you may have noticed that I’m skipping all of the monokub cgs because I literally do not care about them and I’m not even bothering to check and see if they have artistic mistakes in them

JIMMY NEUTRON???

hey um uh kaito you seem to be missing your neck

hey guys do you like my pregame fanart

so, that done, the sprites are also pretty terrible at times. they’re not as interesting to go through, however, and downloading the full sprite sets for every character and studying every single one of them will drive me insane, so I’ll just sum some of the ones I noticed up. I made things for kaede and shuichi before deciding I wasn’t going to get into it, so here are these.

that said, other mistakes include kokichi missing his purple highlights in all of the sprites encompassing a specific pose, stray pixels all over the place on everyone, and everyone also has heavily inconsistent shading, but literally all I think about is how pregame shuichi is unshaded and two of kaede’s pregame sprites have glaring outfit change mistakes in them

anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous ramble. in all seriousness, there’s this looming presence of some lack of communication in the development team, like with all the art and design inconsistencies, pieces and sprites that look rushed, stray pixels, and missing basic proportional stuff. these are the kinds of things that you supposedly have to pretty much have in the bag in order to get jobs in professional businesses, so it’s really weird to me that this game suffers from so many of these problems. it’s like they tried to make the art so much more crisp than the other games, but it fell on its face as they realized it was going to take longer to draw everything and they started to rush. it’s weird, because the coloring itself looks normal–it’s just sloppily drawn, and the proportions are a mess once put into the context of perspective. many of the cgs look like they were drawn by different people, and I’m still not over the fact that half of kokichi’s cgs have his scarf pasted in as a texture.

the moral of the story is that if you’re selling a game at full price that also happens to be in a series that has had 3 very good games in it already the stakes should probably be higher than this. v3 has been out for more than 3 years and it’s still $40 (did it cost more than that before? I sure hope not), and the overarching quality of the game is just not as high as the other games. I’m not saying that the other games don’t have any problems with their art at all, they’re just not as glaringly obvious and every artistic choice in those games feels intentional.

regardless, I had a blast roasting the art at 2am, so maybe you got a kick out of all this chaos.

[shirophantomvox]

First Date with Chrollo (Human Diary)

Hello everyone! I am back with another “First Date” post featuring the Prince of Darkness. This was an anon post but I can't find the ask anywhere! I have been watching JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures lately and it is a very interesting show. Dio turned into a zombie and he’s so mean to Joseph. Anyway, let’s get into the post. The end is a bit angst-y but I did that to take a slight turn from all Fluff. I hope you enjoy! Part 2 coming sometime this week.m

It is common knowledge that Chrollo loves to read many books. When he was a child, he had time to read and that provided a great source of comfort. Although he seems to be ruthless, every human has the ability to seek compatibility and compassion. Both Hisoka and Chrollo enjoy the romance genre except Hisoka prefers to watch movies while Chrollo loves to read stories. You've known Chrollo since elementary school. You were fortunate enough to be able to move out of Meteor City and attend a better elementary school. As a child, you were an outcast and made few friends but on occasion, Chrollo would see you at a local arcade. Of course, your mother paid for the both of you to have fun but once it was over, it broke your heart because you knew about the conditions he’d return to once he left.

As time went on, you entered college and decided to invite Chrollo on campus so he could be something like a driving force for future success. You’ve been accepted into Yorknew University planning on majoring in Computer Science with a minor in Digital Art. Reaching Chrollo posed a challenge. He never responded to a few messages but on the third try, he answered with an excited response.

“Please forgive me y/n for not responding soon enough. I am more than happy to visit you. I am proud of you and your accomplishments. I do not see myself as a college man but, hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it right? I’ll be in touch.”

-Chrollo

At exactly 7 PM on a calm Fall night, standing outside of the campus’ most prominent book store, you began to sweat and your makeup began to drip. Just as you were about to wipe it off, you heard a voice call your name.

“Y/n? Is that you?” He chuckled as he questioned your appearance.

Turning around, you jumped a little at the sight before you. This wasn’t the same Chrollo you remember, of course. He had grown several feet, his face was much sharper, his arms were much bigger, had a bandana tied on his forehead, and he had a few rings on. He was dressed in a white polo shirt, black pressed slacks and black dress shoes. It’s weird. It felt like an arrow was shot through your heart.

“Are you ok? You act as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I’m fine! I’m just---You--look…”

“Ah, I see. There’s no need to be flustered. I am the same as when we were kids.”

The Yorknew Sailor Store was designed something exactly like a Barnes and Noble except the walls were painted to match the school’s colors.

The bookstore had a perfectly designed Starbucks, with a wooden finish, black and brown metal tables, beige tile floor, and glass doors.

Chrollo immediately noticed the change in behavior, one he wasn’t used to.

The students were snooty according to him and reminded him of how the city council would act towards him, his family, and those who were like him.

First, you offered to buy him a drink. The good thing about Chrollo is that if you or anyone else offers to buy something, He will not reject it. There is no such thing as having too much pride regarding him.

“Do you drink coffee?”

“Of course I do,” he replied. “But I don’t think I’ve had any of these drinks. A Caramel Macchiato? That sounds good.”

“Order it then! That will give you just the right amount of energy for today’s reading!”

To you, this was just two friends reuniting with each other but something else told you that Chrollo thought it was something more. He only dressed up like this if he was going out with someone special and even then it wasn’t an expensive Polo Short, It was his best t-shirt and jeans.

It boggles your mind how Chrollo acquired his expensive clothing but maybe he obtained a great job and is able to make a living for himself.

“I’d like to order a Caramel Macchiato.”

“What’s the name for this drink?”

“Chrollo,” you responded.

“And for you?”

“I would like a caramel Frappuccino with soy milk and no whip cream.”

“Alright. That’ll be $15.00.”

Chrollo glanced at you wide-eyed.

“It’s ok. I got it.”

You take out your card to pay and as you move out of line you bend over to whisper in his ear. “Maybe you can pay for dinner though.”

He laughed and smiled. “Of course, y/n.”

The bookstore was full of comfortable furniture ranging from light blue, dark blue, white in the lounge area. Both of you decided to sit across from each other on the blue chairs that swallowed you both as you sat.

As he read, he’d point out any interesting points in the book. He got tired of yelling across the table, so he decided to share a chair with you. He could feel the heat radiating from your body.

It was almost obvious that you all were involuntarily flirting with each other. The school was full of couples but occasionally seeing the goofy couple was the highlight of everyone’s day.

“This man was so devoted to a woman that does not know that he exists.”

“Sounds pointless,” you say, still trying to read your book.

“Well, she knows he exists but she is ignoring him and making him look like a fool in front of everyone. He says that there is something about her that he has never seen in any woman.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s her eyes, smile, intelligence, the shape of her lips, and her perfume powder aroma. Those are things that drive men wild.”

You smiled and laughed but came to a quick halt when you felt something along the ridge of your neck made you still. The hair on your neck stood up still as the invading force came in contact with your skin. It was Chrollo grazing his nose against your skin, slightly sniffing in your aroma; slowly breathing in and out.

Closing your eyes couldn’t make your sudden arousal fade. At this point, nearly everybody was looking at you both and looked away. This behavior was innocent for college culture, but it was taken as a cute gesture rather than naughty.

You blush. It was quite surprising that your childhood friend viewed you as something of the sort. It was both flattering and scary.

There’s no denying that Chrollo is handsome but if you dated him and the relationship didn't last, it could ruin your friendship.

At this point, Chrollo had his right arm resting lazily behind your back as his head and next aimed in a position that would allow his nose to lay carelessly on your neck.

“You smell delightful. I didn’t know you wore such expensive perfume. Is it….,” He sniffs again, “Flower Rose?”

“Yes! How did you know? Does your mother wear it?”

“She does now. I bought it for her a week ago and now the guys in the city can’t stay off her.”

Wow. The City. Even though it was a hell hole, it was your hell hole. How is everything? How is your mother? How did you manage to have such an expensive taste in clothing and fragrance?

Chrollo enjoys making others flustered. It's amusing to see them stutter when they’re either aroused or nervous.

On the flip side, seeing Chrollo flustered was the highlight of the century! The bad guys are used to being “bad” but expressing softer emotions makes it amazing and a reminder that they can experience them too.

Grabbing Chrollo’s left hand, you gently kiss it a few times and wink at him. He smiled, hiding his dumbfounded expression, and blushed slightly.

“I see you catch on quick.”

“I was raised in Meteor City. Just because I’m here doesn't mean I have forgotten where I come from. But I didn’t know you liked me.”

“You were the only one that trusted me and played with me when no one would.”

It felt like two magnets were pulling you closer. If he kissed you right here right now, you could just melt into a puddle but before anything happened, Chrollo’s phone rang loud and echoed throughout the bookstore.

Glancing at his phone, you saw an unknown number call, and judging from his actions he stood quickly to his feet.

“I’ll only be gone for a second.”

Hmm. That was odd. During this short intermission, you continue to read your book. Ironic enough, you weren’t into romance novels per se, you enjoyed action and comedy books!

Once Chrollo returned, his face was flushed and his soft demeanor had suddenly disappeared. He looked as if he was going to punch a wall.

“What’s wrong, Chrollo?”

He glanced at you with a somber smile, hoping to convince you that he was alright. “I am fine, y/n.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, if you count my mother being seriously injured, then yes.”

“Oh no! We can leave now, it’s fine.”

“No, it's ok. She wouldn’t want me to leave you all by yourself at this time of day.” He pointed to the night sky.

Wow! That was quick!

“What do you mean?”

“My mother predicted that I could end up with you...she also predicted that someone would be hurt or in danger if that prophecy was fulfilled. It’s sort of like give or take. In order to make someone happy, someone has to surrender their happiness and I guess it was her.”

A single tear dropped down his cheek and nothing more. He didn’t care if other men singled out his “weakness” because he’d destroy them all and he didn’t want y/n to know about his abilities until later.

The comfort of your warmth against his head provided more than comfort. He felt safe, welcomed, not judged, and vulnerable. He knew that you wouldn’t make him out to be a bad person but instead welcome him home with open arms. You were his human diary.

[septimusheapheadcanons]

Give It A Chance chapter 5 (THE ENDING)

Hey everyone!! I know it’s been like, literally 6 years since I last updated this fic, but I’m here today with the long-awaited ending to Give It A Chance!! Thank you so much to everyone who’s read it over the years and given me support. I hope you all enjoy getting to see the end!

This chapter is rated T for: swearing, drinking, and PG-13 level descriptions of making out.

And now, here’s the ending to Give It A Chance! <3

Septimus Heap was 23 when he fell in love for the final time.

“Alright, we’re going to start again, from the top!” Lucy Gringe’s voice bellowed through the Castle ballroom. “Focus on the tempo this time around, about half of you started to get off beat last time.”

Septimus looked around at the other couples in the room, positive he and Syrah were part of that half Lucy spoke of. They’d been at it for 3 hours, yet they could only manage about 6 counts before something went wrong.

“Okay, face your partner. We’ve only got about 10 minutes left, so Simon and I are going to be watching very closely. Bow to your partner.”

He turned to his dance partner, but Syrah was still nervously looking at Lucy. He was grateful, at least, that he was paired with someone who seemed equally uncomfortable dancing as he was. It would have been embarrassing to be with a bridesmaid who was really good, but was held back by Septimus’ own ineptitude. Though - truth be told - he probably would have picked Syrah over everyone else anyway, had he been given the choice. In his opinion, the two of them complimented each other quite nicely.

“Hey,” he said softly, getting Syrah’s attention. “You ready?”

She gave a nervous laugh. “Ha. Based on the last 50 rounds, I’m going to say probably not.”

Smiling, he took his bow. “Good. That’ll keep it interesting.”

“Alright, take hands,” Lucy said, cueing the band. “On my go. One two three, two two three, three two three, now let’s go!”

On Lucy’s cue, Septimus stepped forward right as Syrah stepped back left. They were alright at the start, but like he predicted once they got to the first spin, they were off again.

He brought his hand around her head, but accidentally sent her right instead of left. And as she came in, she lost her footing and more crashed into him than gracefully gliding in. “Oh, sorry!” They both said in unison. Before they could continue, Lucy called out to hold.

Oh thank God, Septimus thought.

“There’s too much stomping going on,” Simon said, walking to meet Lucy in the center of the floor. “This is a waltz, so it should be smooth and strident.”

Lucy put her hand on his lower back. “Si’s right. You’ve mostly got the steps, but you need to think about the presentation. This dance is what’s going to lead into Jenna and Beetle taking the floor for the first time as husband and wife. Every eye in the kingdom is going to be on us.”

“But no pressure, right Luce?” Edd’s voice called out.

“Yes pressure!” She retorted. “All of the pressure!”

“Hey, Lu?” Simon cut in, pointing towards the clock on the wall.

“Ah, damn it,” she said. “Okay, once more, all the way through. Think light, think graceful, like a bird gliding over water.”

“Or a fish swimming through it,” JoJo added, rolling his eyes at his partner Tod.

“JoJo, I’ll kill you with my bare hands,” Lucy replied. “Okay! On the go. One two three, two two three, three two three, now let’s go!”

As they began, Septimus tried his hardest to stay calm. He pictured he was Spit Fyre soaring through the air above vast farmland. It helped a little, but he still felt clumsy, and he and Syrah still stepped on each other’s feet throughout the routine. Eventually, they made their way just about to the end, albeit a bit less gracefully than Lucy had instructed.

“Okay, coming to the end pose, and… Hold!”

Septimus and Syrah came together chest to chest, a bit breathless, but still alive.

“Well…” Lucy said, looking at Simon for a long moment before checking the clock again, and finally saying, “That was good!”

“Yeah!” Simon added, with a tense thumbs up. “That was definitely good enough!”

A series of groans - and two strong whoops from Erik and Romilly Badger - were heard from the group.

“Thank you for your work today!” Lucy said. “This was our last official rehearsal, though we WILL be going over it once more day-of. Keep practicing on your own. And if you have questions… Don't. I’m too busy. Thanks again!”

Septimus gave a short whistle. “Well, we’ve made it to good enough status.”

Syrah smiled. “Hey, after all that, I’ll take ‘good enough.’ I’ll wear good enough like a badge of honor.”

“Actually,” Lucy’s voice sounded as she came in from the left. “I need to talk to you guys about that.”

“Oh no…” Syrah groaned, chin dropping to her chest.

Lucy put a hand on each of their shoulders. “You know I love you both. And I’m very proud of the progress you’ve made!”

“But…” Septimus offered.

She sighed. “But it’s not exactly ‘good enough’...”

“Are we really the worst ones in the whole party?” Syrah asked, a bit defeated.

“No. JoJo and Tod are the worst ones. Which is why they’re going to have to have a personal lesson with me. But with all my maid of honor duties less than a week out from the wedding, I won’t have time to work with you guys too. So I’d like you to meet here tomorrow night and work on your own, as long as it takes until you feel comfortable. Because right now, you don’t look comfortable.”

Septimus shrugged. She was right. He was used to being in front of crowds, even being a bit of a show off with magyk when he could. But dancing? That was a whole other story.

He looked at his sister-in-law, and he could tell she was exhausted. Which made sense. For the past 2 weeks, Lucy had been in wedding red-alert mode. He felt a little bad. Her job as maid of honor seemed way more stressful than his best man job had been so far. Though, he had suspected it was because Jenna had allocated most of the responsibility Lucy’s way on purpose.

“Okay, Luce. We won’t let you down,” he said. 

She smiled. “Remember, it’s all about connection. You each are so focused on making sure you’re doing the steps that you forget all about the person in front of you. This is a couple’s dance. So it has to be done together.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t so stupid!” Tod outburst from the other side of the room.

“Call each other stupid one more time, and I’m locking you both in Dungeon Number One for 30 years!” Simon replied.

Lucy turned to look at Septimus. “I’m...not even going to deal with that right now.” She smiled to Syrah. “We’ve got to go meet Jenna in the lower kitchen for dessert sampling. Syrah, figure out the details with Septimus, and then meet me there. I’ll tell Jenna you’ll be a tidge late. Bye Sep!” She gave a short wave as she ran off to her next task.

“How has she not just collapsed yet?” Syrah wondered aloud.

“Lucy Gringe is nothing if not full of fire,” Septimus replied. “So… guess we’ve got to meet back here tomorrow.”

Syrah put her head in her hands. “I’ve never been the bottom of my class before...”

“Hey,” he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. “One above the bottom. Which means we’re still killing it.”

Syrah giggled, still covering her face. Septimus felt his heart light up. Truthfully, he was more than a little worried about the dance too. But Syrah had been so nervous and embarrassed, he had decided that he would be playful and joking about the whole thing to try and make her feel better. So whenever she laughed, or even smiled during rehearsals, he counted it as a win.

“What time do you want to meet?” he asked. “I figure we’ll need at least a couple of hours.”

“Well, tomorrow’s my one day at Lila’s, but I’m done around 6. So right around then would work for me.”

“Perfect! Tod’s lesson will be done by 5. We could grab dinner, then come here to practice. We’ll make our way to good enough, trust me.”

At that, Syrah’s cheeks turned a shade brighter. “Yeah! Yep, let’s do that.”

Aw, Septimus thought. Hopefully she’ll be less embarrassed about the dance by the wedding.

“Great!” he said. “That’ll give me time to pick up a music charm, so we don’t have to rehearse in silence. I’ll meet you outside of Lila’s at 6!”

She gave a goofy little grin at the ground, before meeting his eyes again and saying, “I’ll see you then. And I’ll try not to be too terrible, although I make no promises.”

Septimus laughed. “Oh, I’m still not convinced you’re not some secret dance prodigy, and you’re just waiting for the perfect moment to bust out your skills.”

“I guess you’re just going to have to wait to find out,” she said. “Oh, I’ve got to meet your sister. Dessert calls! I’ll see ya.” She gave a wink as she ran out towards the kitchen.

As he watched her leave, he felt some serious butterflies rumbling in his stomach. Wedding nerves, he told himself. You’ve got some bad wedding nerves.

***

“Well, look who decided to join us!” Jenna said when Syrah finally found her way to the lower kitchen. 

“Every time I think I know these halls, I find something else has changed from my Time,” she replied with an exhale. “I didn’t really put two and two together to figure out that ‘lower kitchen’ implied the existence of more than one kitchen.”

Jenna held up the spoon she was using to eat brownie batter as a lecturing pointer. “This kitchen was only installed about 300 years ago, so it wouldn’t have been around when you were first here. Queen Orpah, my eleventh-great-grandmother, had a love of baking, but an intense social anxiety. So she had this kitchen put in so that she could indulge her hobby without having to interact with hardly any of the staff needed to run a Castle kitchen. It’s hardly used nowadays by anyone, save my mother on occasion, when the staff upstairs get too annoyed with her.” She licked the spoon in her hand. “They’ve been working up there for days to accommodate all the guests coming in, and I wanted a bit of privacy away from having to act like dignitaries - which we seem to get very little of these days. So I figured Queen Orpah’s secret baking kitchen was the perfect place for us.”

Snorri Snorrelson hopped down from where she was sitting on the counter and came in to inspect Jenna. “Oh no! You guys, they have taken Jenna and replaced her with a walking history tome!”

“No one tell Beetle!” Lucy said. “Put it in a wedding dress, I’m sure he wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference.”

“That’s it, you’re all fired!” Jenna said, taking another spoonful of batter.

The girls all began laughing, and Syrah couldn’t help getting swept up in it. Jenna had always been kind to her, Lucy too, but it wasn’t until about a year ago that Syrah really began to feel like she was a part of something with them. It was Nicko and Snorri’s final “Welcome Home!” party that really kicked it off. She hadn’t meant to stay so long, but Jenna insisted that it was time she made some more friends other than just Septimus. So Jenna kept Syrah at her hip all night, through dancing, impromptu karaoke, and probably more drinking than they should have done. At the end of the night it had just been the four of them left, and they all slept on the floor in front of a fireplace in the Castle. Ever since, Jenna had affectionately referred to them as the “Girl Squad”. Lucy had even made them matching winter coats with the name stitched on the back.

Syrah still felt nervous every once in a while that she was the oddball out - as she did everywhere she went - but she was more at ease with her Girl Squad than she had been in a long time.

Lucy held up a tray of yellow cupcakes that had yet to be frosted. “Well now that Syrah’s done holding us up, let’s get started in on these. I made them, so you better like them.”

As she reached for a cupcake, Syrah said, “Hey, it’s your fault that I had to stay behind and make plans with Septimus anyhow. If we had walked together, I never would have gotten lost.”

“Oh, making plans with Septimus, are we?” Snorri said suggestively, grabbing the bowl of vanilla frosting.

“Hey, no, not like that,” Syrah said over the chorus of ‘oooh’s. “Lucy said we were abysmal at dancing, so we’re just getting dinner and practicing the routine tomorrow, no big deal.”

“Uh, I didn’t say abysmal. And I definitely didn’t order you to get dinner together,” Lucy replied.

Syrah felt her face heat up. “Well no, that was his idea, but…”

“Gonna set the mood for a little one on one attention?” Jenna said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“You guuuuyyyys,” Syrah whined.

“Oh come on, you two have got it bad. Maybe this’ll be the thing that finally kickstarts something,” Jenna said. “Good job making this happen, Lucy.”

“Potential romance is just a side effect. I really do need them to be better.”

“You guys are ridiculous. Hand me the lemon cream frosting,” Syrah said, rolling her eyes.

Passing her the bowl, Jenna said, “What can I say? Love is in the air. Beetle and I are kind of contagious like that.”

“What a nice thing to say while we are eating,” Snorri said, mouth full of lemon cupcake. 

“Is it good?” Lucy asked.

“Phenomenal. Too good maybe. We do not want to upstage the wedding cake. I can take the rest of them to be safe,” Snorri replied, grabbing another cupcake.

“Milo will freak out if there’s too many lemon ones. He likes chocolate and chocolate only.” Jenna paused. “Make another batch of them.”

“It’ll be exclusively lemon at the rehearsal dinner. Your mother loves them anyhow,” Lucy said. She passed Syrah a different recipe card, and pulled out another large bowl. “Syrah, get started on this mint fudge, it’s not too hard. I’ll get the next set of cake samples ready. How does red velvet sound?”

Jenna gave a loud whoop as Lucy set the oven timer. Syrah began gathering ingredients, and Snorri reached for a chocolate cupcake this time before hopping back on the counter.

“So Jenna, how are you feeling, now that we’re only a week out?” Syrah asked, wanting to keep the conversation away from herself and a certain Extraordinary Wizard.

Jenna smiled, frosting her own cupcake. “Giddy is probably as close as I can get to describing it. And surprisingly calm. Mum thought I’d be like a chicken with my head cut off by now, but it’s been fairly easy for me. Mostly meeting with guests. The hardest thing has been trying to keep my parents and Milo from killing each other, which is standard. But it’s been really a walk in the park.”

Lucy made a stressed noise bent halfway into the oven. “Yeah, a real breeze for sure!”

“Love you Lucy, you know I wouldn’t live without you!”

“Yeah, and don’t you forget it!”

“And honestly?” Jenna continued, looking more like a smitten schoolgirl than her Royal Majesty. “I’m so ready to be married to Beetle. I’ve been ready for years. Truth be told, most of this fanfare is for the kingdom, not us. And I get it, royal wedding is a big event! But if it were up to me, I would have married him on the spot when he asked me. Every day that I haven’t been married to him feels like forever. Like the world is saying, ‘come on, we know how this one ends already, get on with it!’”

“You are sickeningly cute, you know this?” Snorri said.

“Yes! We are! It’s gross and I’m in love and I can’t wait to shove it in everyone’s face!”

“That is absolutely the best part of the wedding, trust me,” Lucy said, grabbing a handful of forks. “Vanilla cake sample is ready, dig in!”

“Have any desserts to spare?” Simon Heap said, ducking a little as he entered the small kitchen.

Jenna snatched up her cake sample. “And why do you think you deserve any of our desserts?” She took a large bite, grinning smugly at her older brother.

“Because I just had to deal with Tod and JoJo throwing yet another temper tantrum,” Simon said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “On your behalf. So when your big dance number doesn’t completely fall apart, you have me to thank.”

Lucy handed him one of the lemon cupcakes, and stood on her tiptoes to give his cheek a kiss. “We’re very appreciative, darling. You’re probably the only person around that can keep JoJo in check.”

“Trust me, get any of my brothers, except Sep, they’d be willing to kick his ass too,” he replied, taking the cupcake. “Thank you, my love.”

“Why did you end up pairing those two together anyway? I feel like it should have been obvious they’d be disastrous,” Syrah asked, searching for the rest of the fudge ingredients.

Jenna and Lucy shared a look. “We wanted to keep the damage to a minimum, and figured two disasters in one pair was the ideal situation,” Lucy said.

“Despite the age gap, they really do have a lot in common,” Jenna added. “They both act like they’re 7 years old on a regular basis.”

“I’m just happy you let me be with Nicko. We melt into the background quite easy,” Snorri said.

“Yeah, I would have loved to melt into the background,” Syrah said, a little louder than she meant to.

Simon took a bite out of his cupcake. “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen dancing with Mr. EOW. But I believe in you two! If you fully submit yourself to the wordless dialogue that is a waltz,” he scooped Lucy up into the waltzing position, “you can get out of your own way, and make something beautiful.”

He and Lucy did a few gliding box-steps around the center kitchen aisle, drawing boos from Snorri and Jenna. Seeing how natural and in-sync they were made Syrah nervous all over again. She knew her own anxiety was a big part of the problem, but she couldn’t seem to get over herself, as much as she tried. She wished she and Septimus could have the kind of effortless flow Simon and Lucy had, but it was currently so out of reach. And as much as she tried to deny it and shove it down, she knew her own feelings for Septimus were messing with her head. She had basically resigned herself to being the pining best friend for the rest of her life, and having to do something as couple-y as dancing a waltz made it more difficult than it had been in a while.

“Simon, did you come just to distract your wife, or are you going to actually help?” Jenna said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, Snorri’s not helping either!” he replied.

“But I was invited here,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “You must earn your way to the desserts.”

Laughing, he put up his hands in resignation. “Alright, alright, fine. It’s better than sharing a room with Edd and Erik anyhow.” With a flick of his hand, a burst of green light went into the cabinet underneath Snorri, and a glass pan came flying out, setting itself on the counter next to Syrah. “I’ll help with the fudge; mint is my favorite. Let’s do this, Syrah.”

***

Septimus and Syrah were fully lying on the hardwood floor they were supposed to be dancing on, heads nearly touching. They’d been in the ballroom for an hour and a half, and felt only nominally closer to being ready for the wedding. 

“So have we fully ruled out darke magyk as an option? Because I think there could be some merit in revisiting that,” Syrah said.

Fiddling with the music charm in his left hand, Septimus didn’t say anything. He seemed less hopeful than when Syrah had last seen him.

“Septimus?”

He rolled his head to the side to face her. “Yeah. I don’t really know what to do. I feel like we’re so close, we’re just missing… something. Who knows.” He looked back down to the charm.

Syrah raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just bummed we can’t get this.”

“No,” she said, sitting up. “You were out of it even before dinner. What’s going on?”

Sighing, Septimus followed suit and sat up. “Can’t get anything past you, can I, Syara?”

“Correct. What’s on your mind?”

“It’s dumb.” Taking one last look at the music charm, he handed it to her. “Foxy was in the charm shop when I got there. Accidentally walked in on him and Rose talking about their engagement.”

“Oh…”

“But you know, it’s not even that I’m like, sad or whatever to hear that, you know? I’ve come to terms with what happened. And god, it’s not like I would want to marry her. It’s just… I don’t know. Everyone around me, it seems like, has got this whole romance stuff a lot more figured out than I do. Them, Jenna and Beetle… Driffa even got married a few months back.”

“And you’re feeling like you wanna get married too?”

“Or at the very least like I have somewhat of a start. But I mean,” he laughed. “You’ve seen my track record. I don’t exactly have the best sense when it comes to these things.”

She smiled. “I mean, it only takes getting it right once.”

“I guess. But what if… I don’t? I mean, with everything that’s gone on with me, what if…”

“What if you’ve missed your chance, and you’re too late?” She said, not meeting his eyes.

“Yeah, exactly!” He groaned, and fell back to lying on the floor. “God, you must think I’m a total sad sack. ’Most powerful wizard in the land, but he can’t even get his dating life together!’” 

“No,” she said, getting on his level by lying on her stomach. “If anything, I’m empathizing with you. I get it. You know when the last time someone kissed me was?”

He turned in towards her. “When?”

“512 years ago. On a dare.”

He didn’t mean to, but Septimus glanced at her lips. He’d bet there were people out there whose fantasies involved kissing her. “Really?”

“If you’re a sad sack, I am the most melancholy of all the sacks out there.”

He gave a soft chuckle, then extended his hand along the floor towards her. “Well, at least we can be tragic together, yeah?”

Taking his hand in hers, she smiled. “Yeah. I promise to be pathetic as long as you are.”

Septimus felt those familiar butterflies rise up in his stomach as he just stared at her for a second longer than a friend should. With a strong tug, he pulled her into him so she landed across his stomach.

“Speaking of pathetic, how are we gonna figure out this dance?” he asked.

She couldn’t help but giggle, the vibration across his stomach causing him to start laughing too.

“Well, we’ve got to get it together in at least one regard, right?” she said, still giggling.

“Yes! I believe in us! What would Lucy say?”

Syrah’s face turned a darker shade as she imagined what Lucy might say in that instant.

“Probably… That we’re too caught up in ourselves. I know she said that to me yesterday. We’re fine on our own, but we have trouble coming together.”

Septimus nodded. “You’re probably right. I don’t do too badly going over it on my own. But as soon as I get out here I get so in my head.”

“Me too,” Syrah exhaled.

He looked at her for a moment, trying to think of how to best tackle their issue. “Wait,” he said, “I have an idea. Come here.”

He grabbed her arms and pulled her up with him. She held the music charm out to him. He took it, and holding it close to his lips, he said,

“Piano and strings

 And a beat three by three

 Play strong and true

 On this song for me.”

As the charm started to play, he tossed it in the air where it stayed floating.

“Are we starting from the top?” Syrah asked.

“No, we’re not doing the routine,” Septimus replied. “We need to stop focusing on the steps right?” He put one hand on her waist and one hand in hers, prepping her up into the starting position. “So don’t do the steps. Just dance with me.”

Syrah’s eyes widened at this suggestion. “Oh, I don’t think I- I mean, without the pattern, I’m- I’m not any good at-”

He took a long, striding step back, cutting her off. It took a few measures, but they got a turning box step going. Syrah’s eyes were fixed firmly on the floor, but Septimus was looking at her. He spun her around, causing her to yelp in surprise.

“Hey, Syrah, I’ve got you.” His voice was calm and tender. “Look at me, not at our feet. There’s no wrong answer.”

Taking a couple deep breaths, she met his gaze. Despite being immediately overwhelmed, she didn’t look away. They took a breath together and went off again.

They started simple; mostly box steps with an occasional spin thrown in. Eventually, growing in confidence, they were able to cover more ground, gliding more than their typical stomping. Feeling bold, Septimus spun them apart, then together, then a spin around with ease. Syrah gave a whoop. Another shot of butterflies through his chest. It’s a lot easier when we’re looking at each other, huh, Septimus thought. He also noticed that her eyes shone greener when she was laughing.

Having built up some speed - and confidence - Septimus said, “I want to try the lift, okay?”

Syrah just nodded, bracing herself for the jump.

“Okay,” he said, “One two three, two two three, I’ve got you, here we GO!”

He held her waist firmly as she jumped in the air, kicking her legs out to the side and putting her weight on his shoulders. As her feet touched down again, they finished with a final spin out.

“OH MY GOD, WE LANDED RIGHT!!” She yelled out, turning and throwing her arms around his neck. He lifted and spun her around, giving a few victorious shouts.

“That was great!” She said, only pulling away from him slightly. “I mean, a few hiccups, but so much better than we’ve been doing by the end!”

A little breathless, Septimus reached for the jar of water they’d brought. “Who would’ve guessed eye contact would have helped, huh?”

“Well, probably Lucy and Simon.”

Wiping his mouth after his drink, he smiled, handing her the jar. “Yeah, well, we’re going to take credit for this one. But let’s make sure we can do it again. You wanna try the routine?”

“Yes, let’s! Okay, from the top…”

                    ***

It was safe to say that the party had gotten a little out of control.

What had started as a fairly tame night-before-the-wedding party had spiraled into the most drunken mess Septimus had ever seen. In part, he blamed this on the location. Despite only being on the edge of the forest - not even a 4 minute walk back to town - the feeling of being at a wild party out in the woods gave people a bit of an aesthetic distance from civilized society. You can do things out in the woods that you can’t do back in town.

The other part, however, he blamed on his older brothers. Edd and Erik had established their lives as wizards back at the Castle years ago, but Septimus knew there was still a bit of the  forest wilds in them, and this was the perfect opportunity to let that energy loose. The sheer number of people present was already a lot to handle. The twins had invited basically every person they’d ever met. They’d also told everyone that the Castle was footing the cost of the booze. Mix that with a perfect excuse to go nuts? It was chaos.

“Hey Sep!” Beetle called out, squeezing through a crowd of people with a bottle in each hand.

He rejoined Septimus in the little corner they had carved out for themselves, away from the thickest part of the throng. “Okay, so I went up to the bar and tried to order your lemon drop, but Barry said they were out of lemon juice, so I told him to just make whatever, and he said he could make a White Russian, but then I saw that he had just poured raspberry liqueur in with some milk.” He took a breath. “So I threw that in the trash and grabbed you a lime FizzFroot. Here!”

“That’s probably for the best. Someone oughta be clear-headed here,” he said, taking the bottle.

“Yeah, it’s pretty crazy, huh?” Beetle said, taking a drink from his own bottle of what looked to be beer.

Septimus cocked an eyebrow. “You know, Beet, I would have thought you’d be more stressed out about all this.”

“I was, and then I got so stressed out, I circled back around to zen.”

“Well, cheers to that,” Septimus replied, clinking bottles with his friend. “Did Simon go home already? I haven’t seen him in like an hour.”

Swallowing, Beetle said. “Yeah, he and Luce headed out as soon as Edd and Erik came back with half of the Wendron Witch coven. They were only here like half an hour.”

“Probably smart of them; we’ve all gotta be up pretty early tomorrow for the big day.” 

A slight blush spread across Beetle’s cheeks as he grinned into his drink. “God, I can’t believe it’s finally here. I feel like I’ve waited a lifetime for this.” He looked to Septimus. “I’m gonna be Mister-motherfucking-Jenna Heap.”

“How many of those beers have you had?”

“A lot.”

Septimus laughed. “Well, I’m really happy for you guys. I’ve gotta admit, I kinda didn’t think you’d last 2 years as just engaged; I figured you would’ve just eloped by now.”

“Do you know how many times we almost did?”

“Uh, yes, because one of you would come to me basically every single week, saying you were just going to run away together already?”

Beetle couldn’t help the big chesty laugh that came out of him. “God bless you for putting up with us this long,” he cackled.

Putting his arm around Beetle, Septimus said, “Ah, I mostly love you guys too much to be annoyed. And I wouldn’t have wanted Jenna to end up with anyone else. I’m so ready for you to officially become one of the Heap brothers.”

Beetle enveloped Septimus into a bear hug, almost spilling both their drinks. “You want me to cry? You trying to get me to cry? Because it’s not hard man, I will.” He sniffled. “You’re my best friend, you know that? Nobody else can even touch that ranking. Nobody.” 

“Haha, okay buddy, maybe we oughta get some water in you.”

“Probably not a bad idea.”

As they broke apart, however, Nicko came up on the two of them, also clearly not sober with a bottle in his hand. 

“WHAT’S UP, BITCHES!”

“NICKO!!” Beetle yelled, giving Nicko a hug as well. “I also love you.”

“Man, I wish everyone would greet me like that,” Nicko replied, giving Beetle a couple pats on the back. “Septimus? Septimus.” He stretched his hand out and put it right on Septimus’ face.

“Yes, Nik?” Septimus replied, muffled.

“I have a message from her Royal Majesty, the Queen.” Nicko took his hand back, laughing.

“That’s my FIANCE!!” Beetle said.

“YES!” Nicko replied. The two of them hi-fived.

“What did Jen say?” Septimus said, bringing their attention back.

“Oh, right.” Nicko took a swig. “Well, Jenna sent me to tell you that she had to leave for a minute because my darling Snorri threw up all over herself - she’s a total lightweight - and so you need to go hang out with Syrah so she’s not alone.”

Nicko pointed into the crowd and off to the right a bit, though Septimus didn’t really need the instruction. Despite not trying to, he’d been clocking Syrah’s whereabouts at the party all night. Not that it meant anything. She was sitting on a large rock by herself, surrounded by other groups of people talking and dancing. Pushing her hair back behind her ear, she looked around nervously as she waited for Jenna and Snorri to return.

“Why aren’t you hanging out with her?” Septimus asked Nicko.

He gave a wave of his hand. “I would, but JoJo is on his 5th drink, and I love 5 drink JoJo. You can dare him to do anything, and he’ll totally do it, no questions asked. He told me he used to be able to climb to the top of one of these trees in under 2 minutes, so I’m gonna see if he can do it blindfolded.”

“Please don’t kill our brother,” Septimus said.

“Man, being EOW has made you sound like Mum. I do this all the time! You should’ve seen it when I dared him to find the Marsh Python’s head in the frozen water and melt the ice above it until it snapped at him.”

“Where’s Sam? Isn’t he usually supervising when everyone starts getting stupid?”

Nicko nodded his head to their left. “Last I saw him, he was making out with Marwick on top of a table over there.”

“No way!” Beetle yelled in surprise, trying to see where Nicko was pointing. “Ohhhh, how fun, Sam is so rarely messy.”

“None of this is making me feel better about you enabling JoJo’s impulses,” Septimus said.

“Well, why don’t you let me worry about JoJo, and you worry about your girlfriend, okay?” Nicko said, patting his younger brother on the back.

“Hey, wait-!” Septimus started, but Nicko was already running off to find his drunk brother.

Beetle whistled. “That’s probably not going to end well, is it?”

“No it is not.”

“Well,” Beetle said, turning to look towards Syrah. “We should go over and keep her company, huh?

“Yeah!” Septimus said, not moving. He instead began fiddling with his sleeves.

Beetle paused. “Sep? You good?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. It’s just, I’ve been seeing her a lot lately, and I don’t know that I have anything new to talk about.”

“Well, you don’t have to talk to her. You guys have been working on dancing, yeah? Why don’t you ask her to dance?” Beetle said.

Running his hands through his hair, Septimus said, “Ha! We’re barely making our way through a choreographed dance we’ve been practicing for weeks. I don’t think ‘center of the dance floor’ is gonna be the move for us.”

Beetle paused again, taking a long look at his friend. Septimus shifted uncomfortably, purposefully not looking back at him. “Are you okay?”

“What? Of course.”

Wiping his face to clear his mind, Beetle took a deep breath. “Okay. So I know I’m a little drunk right now, but I’m not that far gone. What’s going on there? Did something happen between you and Syrah?”

Septimus absently dug the toe of his boot into the dirt, thinking back to the other night in the ballroom. Technically nothing abnormal happened, but he’d been left with an… odd feeling afterwards that he couldn’t shake, no matter how much he tried. It nestled in his stomach, it warmed his cheeks, and it made him incredibly nervous at the thought of talking to Syrah.

“No, nothing happened, really. Just… I don’t know. We were rehearsing, and I was being dumb because, well. The Rose and Foxy thing got in my head.”

“Ohhhh. You heard about that?”

“Yeah, but it was fine, really. Like, weirdly I’m fine with it. Syrah talked to me and made me feel better about everything, and it was really nice and warm, and I just…”

Beetle slowly nodded his head. “Realized you’re in love with her?”

“That’s not-!” Septimus started, before breathing out an exasperated sigh. “I’m not… Just, a lot of feelings are flurrying around in my brain, and I don’t want to do anything dumb. And I’m exceptionally good at being dumb.”

“So you’re going to avoid her forever because you have a crush?” Beetle asked, taking another drink from his bottle.

“Not forever. Not even really avoiding, just. Everyone gets lonely at weddings, okay! I’m not about to go ruin a great friendship just because of some stupid attraction. I’ve already done that once with her, and I don’t think that’s the kind of thing you recover from twice.”

“Okay, counter point,” Beetle said, pointing at Septimus’ face. “If it’s happened twice, it’s probably not fake wedding jitters.”

“But I was a kid then.”

“So your initial point makes no sense either!”

“BEETLE!” Septimus wailed, throwing his hands up.

“Alright, you know what I think?” Beetle put his hand on Septimus’ shoulder. “I think you’re being way over complicated about this. You think she’s pretty, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“You like being around her?”

“Yeah.”

“She makes you happy?”

“Yeah.”

“Then go talk to her!” Beetle said, giving Septimus a playful shove. “Get out of your own head! Just give it a chance! What do you have to lose?”

“Her! I could lose her! Come on, Beet, be real. She already rejected me once. I just… I don’t want to do that to us again.”

“Okay,” Beetle sighed. “I’m gonna tell you something, and I think it’s ridiculous I even have to tell you this, but you’re my best friend, so I’m gonna forgive you for being a little dense.”

“Yes?” Septimus said, a little annoyed as he took a drink of his FizzFroot.

“My guy. Syrah is absolutely in love with you. We all talk about it all the time,” Beetle said bluntly.

Septimus couldn’t help the sputtering, choked cough that came out of him. A bit of soda got on his shirt. He tried to regain his composure, but his face was still bright red. “What? What do you mean? How do you know? Who’s we?”

“Well,” Beetle said, holding up his fingers to count off of. “She wants to date you romantically, I have eyes, and I don’t know, like, everyone. Your siblings? Basically all of your family and friends.”

“WHAT?”

“Sep! Obviously!”

With a groan, Septimus fell backwards into a sitting position on the ground. “Oh, this is too much.” He rubbed his face. “Did she say that she liked me, specifically? Did she tell Jenna? Or is this just everyone guessing?”

Beetle got down to his level. “Do you remember when I was in love with Jenna for years before I said anything about it?”

“Yes, I remember that quite vividly.”

“And you remember how you made fun of me every single day because you thought I was being so obvious?”

“...Yes.”

“Yeah. It’s like that.”

“Okay,” Sep said, “I need some more liquor.”

“No you don’t!” Beetle extended a hand to help Septimus up. “What you need to do is just talk to her like a person.Tell her she looks nice. Don’t be afraid of your feelings.”

Getting up, Septimus said, “Not fair, you got to be afraid of your feelings for years.”

“I was a child. You’re an adult who’s partially in charge of a country. I think you’re a little more equipped to handle this.”

Septimus took a deep, cleansing breath. He looked over at Syrah and felt his heart start jumping, so he took another breath. It’s just Syrah, he thought. You know Syrah. You like Syrah. You can talk to Syrah. You don’t have to admit anything just yet. Just act like a person.

“Okay, fine.” Having garnered a little bit of resolve, Septimus approached her, with Beetle right behind him. 

“Hey Syrah!” Beetle said, louder than he probably had to.

“Oh, hey guys!” Syrah said with a relieved smile. “I’m so glad you’re here! Jenna and Snorri had to go deal with something, but I’m sure they’ll be back. Beetle! Happy wedding eve!” She stood up to give him a hug. 

“Thanks!! I can’t wait!!”

Septimus quietly took Beetle’s beer out of his hand, and replaced it with the FizzFroot. He took a big drink, grimacing a little from how bitter it was.

Syrah laughed. “It’s going to be so much fun! How are you guys enjoying the party so far? Seen anyone light themselves on fire? Because I, in fact, have seen that happen twice now.”

“Please tell me neither of those were JoJo,” Septimus said.

“Haha, nope! Two people I didn’t know. Though I did see JoJo dig up a worm from the ground and eat it. So he’s probably not doing too great either.”

Laughing, Septimus said, “No, I would imagine not. What’re you drinking?”

She turned her can so he could see the label. “Just an apple cider. I’m hoping to try all the ones they have here. So far I’ve had cherry, and now apple, and I’m going to try pineapple next. You’ve got an IPA?”

Beetle looked at Septimus, then at the FizzFroot in his own hand, then back at Septimus. “Hey, wait!”

Before Beetle could switch them back, Sep took another drink, laughing. “Yep, picked out for me by my best friend Beetle.” 

For a moment Beetle looked annoyed, but then a mischievous grin spread across his face. “Oh man, you guys are making me want to try some more of what they’ve got! Maybe I oughtta head back over to the bar. Syrah, was the cherry any good? I think I’ll grab one of those.” He stared at Septimus with suggestive eyebrows as he began to walk away.

Panicked, Septimus grabbed his arm and said, “Oh, we’ll come with you!”

“No, no.” Beetle moved Sep’s arm off. “It’s crowded, you two stay here, with each other. I’ll be back soon.”

Before Sep could protest any more, Beetle disappeared into the crowd. Septimus felt his heart start racing again as he mentally cursed his friend out for ditching him with such a stereotypical move. The anxiety of talking to Syrah alone once again skyrocketed, but he knew he had to act at least somewhat normal.

“Beetle’s funny when he drinks,” Syrah said over his shoulder. “Jenna too. It’s fun to see such put-together people be a little bit out of their minds.”

He turned, and accidentally made direct eye contact. Her hair was framing her face, and she had a slight redness to her cheeks from the cider, and Septimus could swear she was practically glowing.

Oh. Oh no.

Breathe, Septimus, he told himself. “Yeah, everyone’s head seems to be a little bit…” He glanced quickly away. “Somewhere else tonight.”

They both were quiet for a moment, and Septimus could feel her eyes on him. He knew he had to say something. Looking back at her, he swallowed and said, “That dress looks really pretty on you. Dark green is a good color for you.”

Syrah’s eyes widened a bit, and she began playing with the hem of her skirt.. “Oh! Thanks! Uh, Jenna helped me pick it out. I like the color too. I like your tunic! It fits you nicely. Uh, and it matches the amulet! Which I’m sure was on purpose.” She took a drink of her cider.

Septimus couldn’t help but smile a little. She was awfully cute when she was nervous. His mind went back to what Beetle had said: “Just give it a chance. What do you have to lose?” Steeling himself, he took a slight step forward. 

“Syrah,  can I-”

“Oh come on, don’t walk away when we’re talking to you!” The voice behind Septimus cut through the noise of the party. As he turned to see who was talking, Syrah closed the distance between them as she grabbed onto his arm.

Coming closer towards them, Septimus recognized the shock of bright red hair as belonging to Jenna’s old friend Bo Tenderfoot, who was being followed by two much larger men that Septimus didn’t recognize. She was backing away slowly with her hands up in front of her, trying to hold a bit of distance, though she wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping them back. She was only 5 feet tall, and these guys each had at least a head on her.

“I was just, um, just trying to find my friends…” Bo said weakly.

The blonde one stepped in closer. “But we asked you to dance. I’m sure your friends wouldn’t mind waiting until after one dance.”

“Well actually, I don’t really...like guys, so…”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t give us one dance.”

Septimus and Syrah shared a look, and both jumped forward to where Bo was. Syrah took her shoulder as Septimus put himself in between Bo and the guys.

“Bo! Oh, we’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Syrah said.

“Thanks for keeping our friend company,” Septimus said with a cold smile, “but we’ve got her now.”

The dark haired man stepped up closer to him. “Well your friend was going to come with us for a bit, so why don’t you go get a drink and leave us alone?”

“I said, we’ve got her. We’re not leaving.”

Bo shakily grabbed onto Septimus’ tunic from the back as Syrah moved up next to him. “Is that going to be a problem?” Syrah asked, looking directly at the blonde.

He laughed. “Well, not if you and those legs stick around.”

“The guy can beat it though,” the other man said. Septimus could sense Syrah tensing up.  “So what do you say, man? You wanna get lost? This doesn’t concern you.”

“Please don’t…” Bo’s muffled voice was quiet.

The crowd around had started watching intently. Septimus assumed the men didn’t know who he was, which was an advantage on his side. He couldn’t sense any magykal ability from them either, so maybe it was still possible to handle this without a fight.

However, before Septimus could come up with a plan, the blonde man got in close to Syrah and said, “Oh, I could have some fun with you,” before placing a hand on her ass.

And Septimus’ hope to leave without a fight disappeared.

Syrah yelled and shoved the man back. He grabbed her left wrist, but Syrah formed a fist with her right hand, and swung. There was a crack of green lightning as her fist made impact with the man’s face. 

Septimus quickly said, “Bo, run!” Not needing to be told twice, Bo launched off into the crowd. 

The blonde stumbled back, gripping his jaw. “Oh, fuck you!” he spat out

 His friend took a swing at Syrah, but Septimus blocked it, and used the guy’s forward momentum to toss him over his shoulder. He hit the ground with a yell. The blonde charged at Septimus, but Sep grabbed his arms before they could make impact. He launched his knee up into the man’s stomach, and as he staggered back, Syrah let out a yell. The man turned his head, and was met with a roundhouse kick from Syrah right to the face, and he went down, out cold.

Syrah’s fist started glowing green again as a couple other people - their friends, if Septimus had to guess - started pointing and  running towards them, shouting something. Septimus glanced behind them and noticed a forest path off to their left. Thinking quickly, he took in a deep breath and exhaled hard, bringing his arms in a sweeping motion downwards. A thick cloud of swirling purple smoke erupted from him, covering the entire area in it.

He took Syrah’s hand and ran off towards the path. He could hear the sounds of coughing and audible confusion as they distanced themselves from the crowd.

They ran for about a minute before coming to a little stone dock on the edge of some water. Confident in their tree cover, and that they had gotten far enough away, they took a seat on the dock, panting. They looked at each other for a moment before bursting into a fit of laughter. 

“Not exactly how I thought this night was gonna go,” Septimus smiled, wiping his eyes.

“Me either,” she replied, “But I’m not mad. Using my fists to take down creeps is exactly my idea of a good time.”

He started laughing again as he leaned back, taking in the patch of stars they could see through the opening above the water. “Oh yeah, I’m very glad you were on my side there. I would not want to be on the other side of that roundhouse kick.”

“Thank you. That was some quick thinking with the smoke trick.”

“Well, even at dark sketchy forest parties, I do have somewhat of a public image to uphold. Marcia always says the best way to win a fight is by being smart enough to avoid a fight.”

“Wow. That’s really wise. I say the best way to win a fight is by hitting the other guy really hard. But hey, I guess Marcia probably knows a thing or two.”

Septimus smiled. “Yeah, I would guess so…”

In their laughter, Syrah moved in between his arm and his body, and rested her head on his shoulder. Septimus felt like he should be nervous, but something about the situation just felt so natural and right. Leave it to a good brawl to relieve the tension, he thought. Instead of clamming up, he just moved in to hold her a little closer.

For a moment, they shared a comfortable silence, watching the stars and listening to the sounds of moving water. Soon, the buzz of cicadas started to fill the air, making him so acutely aware of just how beautifully alive they were.

“You know,” Syrah said looking out, “I spent so many years staring out at stars over water. Trying to make sense of the patterns and constellations. It was maddening, really. But now, when I look at the night sky, I actually think about…” A nostalgic smile spread across her face. “You might not even remember. It was a few years ago now. There was this night when I couldn’t sleep and we were on top of that old roof-”

“Singing at the top of our lungs in the middle of the night?”

She laughed and nodded her head. “Just screaming out to the expanse of stars, wrapped in that thin little blanket, probably giving ourselves hypothermia.”

“Ha, we were out there til like 4am.” He hugged her tight, his gaze still fixed to the sky. “The stars were beautiful then, too.”

There was another short silence, this one different than the last. There was a tension in the air of words wanting to be spoken, but no one was saying anything.

Finally, Syrah broke the silence, saying softly, “You’ve saved my life so many times, you know that? In so many ways I don’t think you even know.”

“Oh, I think you give me too much credit.”

She shook her head. “Absolutely not. I mean, like, not even counting the literal multiple times you’ve actually saved my life, you’ve done so much for me. You’re my best friend, you know? Like, I would not have a single friend if it wasn’t for you continuing to show me nothing but love. Even after I told you to basically drop dead. Even after all the times I’ve pulled back, or isolated, or had weird horrible memory fits. If it wasn’t for you I’d be spending all my days wandering the roads with ghosts as my only company.”

Smiling, he began to run his fingers through the ends of her hair. “You make it sound like so much work. I just like being around you, so I spend time around you. All the other stuff just comes from how nice you are to be around. Trust me, Syara, anything good you've got is not because of me, but because of how wonderful and... and resilient you are on your own."

“See, and then you go and be a total sweetheart with stuff like that! I really don’t know how you do it… Even in spite of everything. I mean, your kindness, your patience, your ever-present steady hand? The way you can create one moment of levity so strong it makes everything bearable again. I…” She went to meet his gaze, but for a moment something in her eyes wavered, and she looked down at her feet dangling over the pier. “I guess I just wanna say that I am so lucky you found me.”

He paused a beat, his heart pounding but his gaze holding steady. “I guess there was something that really wanted me to find you. It’s like I see you and I just can’t stay away. Every time. In the past, on the island, it was like…” He touched her shoulder, causing her to look up at him. “It’s like a voice in my head, from the universe, always saying, ‘go to her’.”

She swallowed. “Is it saying anything now?”

The air between them in that moment was hot despite the cool of the night, as they stared at each other, breathless. That familiar butterfly sensation sprouted up in Septimus’ stomach, but it was different now. Instead of causing him to freeze and hesitate, this rumble inside gave him the push to do what he had always been too scared to do before. Taking a breath, he decided to dive in. 

He placed a hand on her cheek, slowly leaned in, and kissed her.

Septimus had clarity as he realized in that moment: he had never actually gotten over his feelings for her. Not really. He had merely distracted himself, buried it all so deep that even he believed they weren’t there anymore. Because when he finally kissed her? There was a release of a tension he’d been holding in since the very first moment he saw her.

After a moment, he pulled back to see how she would react. Syrah took only a second to look at his eyes, then his lips, before diving right back in, much more intensely. Instinctively, she placed a hand on his neck and after a moment, she pulled herself to her knees and drew in closer, never breaking the kiss. He brought his other arm around her waist and started kissing her harder, both of them warm and desperate. 

Like a floodgate being opened, they quickly couldn’t get enough of each other. They were kissing and grasping at each other like they’d never been touched before. Syrah was quickly positioned above him on her knees, practically straddling him as she gripped one hand into his hair, the other moving from his neck down to his chest. Both of his hands were firmly on her lower back, holding her as close as she could get. 

Not satisfied with the lack of skin to skin contact, Septimus ran his cool hand underneath her dress and up her back, causing her to gasp sharply. He took this brief separation of lips as an opportunity to begin kissing her neck. She moaned, and he felt a hot rush through his whole body. Beneath her, Syrah could definitely feel that excitement growing, and she didn’t help it by pushing down with her hips and kissing his face and head wherever she could. Still a little cognizant of where they had to be tomorrow, however, it took everything in Sep not to begin biting and sucking at her neck. 

As Septimus was trying to remember what the neckline of the bridesmaids' dresses were to map out where exactly he could safely leave a hickey, there was a rustling sound behind them. Before they could even turn, they heard, “Oh, there you- Oh!”

Quickly separating, they turned to see Beetle standing in their little clearing. He was half turned away, covering his eyes with his hand, but with a smile bigger than the sun plastered across his face.

“BEETLE!” Syrah yelped, trying to quickly flatten her hair with her hands.

“Hey, where did you-” Septimus began.

“Hey hey hey!” Beetle replied, hands up in a non-judgemental gesture. “No need to explain anything! I just had come back from the drink table to a bunch of smoke, and no best friends. Someone said they thought you went towards the forest, so I came to look for you. Buuuut, it looks like you guys are doing fine on your own!”

Septimus was happy it was dark, because he could feel how flushed his face was. “We were just trying to get away from the commotion-”

“So you could make your own?”

“BEETLE!”

He couldn’t keep the laugh in. “Hey, no need to worry about me, now that I know you’re not dead. I’ll, uh, leave you guys to it then. Syrah, I’ll let Jenna know that you’re gone for the night.” Before they could say anything else, Beetle winked, and then left back towards the party.

Septimus met Syrah’s eyes. The mortification of the moment, however, couldn’t compete with the elation of before, and they both started laughing. He scooched in close to her, feeling messy and warm and so, so happy.

“Well,” he said, wiping his face. “I think that probably is as good a place as any to call it a night.”

Syrah just laughed and nodded as she set her head into his lap. “Yeah, I would probably say so.” She reached up to pat his face.

More giddy than he had been in a long time, Septimus took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on it, unable to shake the smile on his face.

***

The sun was shining brightly on the day of Jenna and Beetle’s wedding. The palace was buzzing with energy, people were rushing all about, and yet Septimus was standing still, frustrated as hell that he could not, for the life of him, get his boutonniere pinned correctly.

“Stupid thing,” he muttered, pricking his finger yet again.

“Here, let me help.” He looked up to see his mother approaching, hands outstretched to take the wretched flowers from him.

As he handed the boutonniere to her, he exhaled. “Thanks, Mum,” he said with a sheepish grin.

“Oh, of course, sweetie. I’ve pinned enough of these on you boys over the years,” she said. “Have you seen your sister yet?”

“No, not yet. I was helping Beetle get ready.”

Sarah smiled. “She’s so gorgeous, Septimus. Radiant like the sun; everything you’d expect a Queen to be. Ah, it’s hard to believe that’s the same little girl who used to have a gap in her teeth and ride everywhere on her brothers’ shoulders. Your father took one look at her and became a blubbering mess.” She finished pinning the flowers and gave his chest a pat. “There you go.”

Septimus laughed. “I’m surprised you’re holding up so well. You were a wreck at Simon’s wedding.”

“Oh, I took a big dose of my happy pills this morning. I wouldn’t be able to get through it if I hadn’t.”

“That checks out. Maybe you shoulda given Dad a mood stabilizer too.”

Sarah shook her head. “I offered, but he didn’t think he was going to need one. Milo took me up, though; he wanted to be clear-eyed for today. Oh! Speaking of which, have you checked in with him yet? I was supposed to, but doing Jenna’s hair took longer than I thought.”

Nodding, Septimus turned to look at the balconies above them. They were currently waiting in the entrance hall outside the courtyard where the ceremony was being held, and from his location he could see 3 stations of guards on the second floor, though he knew there were many more out of sight.

“Yep, he’s all set. I’ve got wizards surrounding the perimeter of the whole area. Milo and his team are up front, above where Jen and Beetle will be standing, so he has a good vantage point of both the ceremony and the door. Alther and Sir Hereward are keeping an eye on things inside and know to report to Milo if they catch anything. And, in the front row next to Marcellus, Marcia’s seated only a few feet away from the altar. She’s agreed to be the final line of defense, should all else fail.”

“Good, good,” Sarah said, checking their surroundings. “It feels better knowing you two seem to have thought of everything. Not that I think anything’s going to happen, but…”

“You can never be too careful.” Septimus finished. “Don’t worry, Mum. There’ll be no silver bullets here today.”

Sarah turned to face her son, a wistful smile on her face.

“Thank you,” she swallowed. “I’m so lucky to have so many wonderful children. Taking care of each other. All here together…” Despite her best efforts, her eyes did start to get teary. “No! No crying today!” She said, fanning her face with her hands. “Ugh! You all are just so grown up and beautiful, and I love you so much.”

Septimus smiled and pulled his mother in for a hug. “It’s okay, Mum. You’ll have plenty of other weddings to cry through soon enough, I’m sure of it.”

“Don’t say that. We’re avoiding speaking a JoJo wedding into existence any time soon.”

He started laughing, and she couldn’t help but laugh too. Releasing the hug, Septimus gave his mother a kiss on the top of her head.

“I love you, Mum.”

“I love you too, sweetie.” Sarah took a deep breath and exhaled, smoothing out the skirt of her dress. “Okay. Now I believe we’re just waiting on Jenna and the rest of the bridesmaids to get set here, and we’ll be all good to go. I’ll let her know.”

With a kiss on his cheek, she bounded off, out the door.

Septimus, hand on his chest, turned to look around the room. All of his brothers were scattered about, in addition to the myriad of servants and other wedding party members coming in and out of the hall, and the noise of their various conversations filled the room with a comforting babble.

To his left, he saw Lucy with a clipboard speaking fervently to Edd, who had his niece and nephew hanging off of his back. He glanced to the other side of the room and saw Sam, Romilly, Foxy, and Marwick chatting happily in a group together.

Marwick looked up and caught Septimus’ eye, prompting him to give his friend a wave and a big smile from the table he was sitting on. Waving back, Septimus couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed by all the love present in the room. He closed his eyes and just stood for a minute in the warmth of it all, soaking up the moment, trying to commit this feeling to memory. They all had grown so much, and he was so grateful they’d grown in a direction that led everyone here, together. His heart was so full he thought it might actually burst.

“Hey,” a voice from behind him spoke. “We ready to do this thing?”

Turning, his breath caught in his throat as he saw his sister standing in her wedding regalia. Sarah wasn’t kidding when she said Jenna looked radiant - she was dressed from head to toe in red silk and glittering gold. Her dress was in 2 pieces; a short-sleeved top and a large skirt that trailed behind her, connected by the sash she wore across her chest. Her hair was styled up under a long red veil that fell all the way down to her feet. The whole ensemble was covered in exquisite and complicated golden detail, and she was adorned in an assortment of glittering jewelry, including a thin golden ring in her nose that was covered in pearls. The gems followed all along the chain connecting to her ear. The extravagant jewels all over her stood in contrast to the simple signature tiara that sat on her head, all shining brightly in the afternoon light.

With her hands clasped in front of her and her head held high, she looked the true embodiment of regality.

Seeing her tipped his emotions over the edge, and Septimus was unable to help it as a few tears started rolling down his face. “Jenna…”

Rolling her eyes, Jenna said, “Oh great, not you too! I swear, if one more person starts crying in front of me, I’m gonna need more of Mom’s happy pills.”

“Too late!” Septimus said, pulling his sister into a big hug. “Oh, happy wedding day! You look so beautiful. Man, Beetle doesn’t stand a chance up there.”

Jenna giggled. “Ahhh, not if you mess up my hair before he sees me!”

“Oh, sorry!” He let go, and gave her a pat on the head. “I don’t need to give Lucy a reason to kill me.”

“Don’t you mean another reason?” Jenna replied, smoothing her veil down. “I had heard that dance rehearsals didn’t go exactly as planned.”

“Hey!” Septimus said, holding his hands up. “For your information, we got it all figured out. Even killed it at the final run-through this morning. Syrah and I are basically professional dancers now.”

“And a little more than that, based on what Beetle saw last night,” Jenna said, arching one eyebrow up in an accusatory fashion. 

“Ah…”

“Oh yeah, don’t think we’re not talking about that the second this is all done.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Septimus said, “Alright, alright. To be fair, Beetle probably made it out to be more dramatic than it was.”

“Uh-huh. We’ll see about that.”

“Jenna!” Lucy called. “It’s time for places!”

“Alright!” she replied, gathering up her skirts. She gave a side-eye to Septimus. “I’ll talk to you later.”

He stuck his tongue out at her, which she returned in kind before rushing off to where Lucy was beckoning her.

Septimus shook his head as he went to his place at the front of the line. He’d been trying all morning - unsuccessfully, he might add - to get his mind off of his moments with Syrah from the night before. As much as he tried to focus on other things, his thoughts always drifted back to her. 

Rubbing his face, he exhaled as he tried to reorient himself to the here and now. He’d have plenty of time to be distracted by her later, he was sure of it.

However, just as he got settled, Syrah came to take her place next to him, and his heart rate picked up all over again. 

“I’m not late, am I?” she asked. “I couldn’t get these stupid flowers pinned in my hair right.”

She looked up to meet his gaze, and a warm smile spread across his face. Draped all in blue and silver, with white flowers cascading down her curly hair, she was more stunning than a dream. He offered his arm to her. “No worries, you’re just in time. Perfect as always.”

Blushing, she moved in closer to take his arm, and held on tightly.

Feeling her hands, Septimus had to remind himself to breathe. He was recalling all too clearly how that grip had felt last night.

He noticed one of the flowers she had pinned in her hair was drooping, so he reached out and pushed it back into place, causing her to turn to him. Her eyes, normally a mellow sea foam green, seemed brighter and more brilliant in the light of the day, and Septimus realized in that moment, he was a goner. There would never be anyone else he could ever fall for again. 

Of course. It was her. It was always her.

The sound of trumpets echoed back into the entrance hall, signaling that they were about to begin.

Syrah gave his arm a squeeze. “You ready?” She whispered.

He smiled as he brought the back of her hand up to his lips.

“With you on my arm? I’m ready for anything.”