#she's here to subvert all ur expectations

[rcseadorned]

to anyone who thinks sofi is a beautiful elegant creature of grace and beauty just cause she has a horn stickin out her forehead.

im sorry. she's the entity you find in the backrooms, she's the amigious character you can't trust in a twilight zone episode. she is a deer walking on a tile floor. she's a rat in the dumpster fighting for the last chicken wing-

[qui-gg]

that one post you made about lightbulb and how she made up her entire relationship with paintbrush until ep12 made me like her character a lot more soo has ur thoughts and opinions on lightbulb and maybe paintbrush changed since episode 15??

Thank you for this question and it definitely has, it’s just been taking me a bit to think and format into words exactly how to say this! But with ii16 releasing soon i should go through this now, so be prepared for a ramble.

Since i’ve made that post, I’ve gone through a few more realizations about the preexisting material itself. I should say it’s a bit dramatized when I said she made up the ENTIRE relationship- there was obviously something there since they’d known each other for a very long time, after all Paintbrush does say “we’re STILL friends”, but she moreso took it and ran with it to a level it was never at. I’ve never properly talked about my feelings on Alternate Reality Show here? But it’s my favorite episode and I have TOO MUCH to say. I’ll be bringing up key parts of my analysis though since this is about 15.

This episode features Lightbulb’s elimination, and so evidently that means it should be seeking a way to properly wrap up her story. It’s not the total focus of the episode, and neither is she the main character (she already had that in 12), but I think it was handled the best way it could have been. Initially when I watched the elimination in the Chicago theater (slack jawed and having my heart broken I was cosplaying Lightbulb😢) there was a lot running in my mind but the fact Lightbulb’s expectations had been subverted in the very best way was on the forefront. Leading up to 15, there was a lot of extra material released that pointed towards hyping up Lightbulb. She’s a very popular character so the average fan’s expectation is exactly what she mentioned in the episode, that she’d win for her team. The exit interviews of the flying buddies ALL point towards their expectations of Lightbulb to win- which I think was SO clever and must’ve been intentional. Lightbulb likely hasn’t seen these interviews, but I think on a meta level it’s for us to see and then Judge Lightbulb’s reaction to those expectations. Because as she does, she takes something as friendly and simple as what Test Tube said to her at the end of 14 and blew it out of proportion. Her friends are giving her encouragement to win of course, because that’s the nice thing to say and do when your friend is in a competition! But as we learn from 12, Lightbulb is seeking more from the game than just the game. She’s here for relationships first and foremost. And, we see that she has so much more of a thought process beneath the surface than we initially expect, that she is very observant and aware of her own feelings and others and takes that into account which presents as her backwards intentions in her quirky behavior, the stuff she does that doesn’t seem to make sense all has meaning. (We also see this exerted in one of my favorite Lightbulb appearances, the Jacknjellify upload of the 2022 meetup short, where there’s a scene of her in her own head through the situation. She recognizes she’s failing an interaction, gets insecure about it, and we see her make up a quirky lie in real time! It’s incredibly important LB material) She just prefers to distract herself from them the more intense they get because when things get more serious it is hard for her to be taken seriously or believe that she could be. And Test Tube is very important to all of this despite not speaking in 15 because Lightbulb’s relationship with her was one of the first that became Real. Test Tube recognized that Lightbulb was struggling most prominently as she alone had been on that journey with her and had that talk, she knew her heart wasn’t in the game for a long time. Which affects her actions towards her in 15! But I’ll get to that in a bit. The point i’m trying to make here is that it is the PERFECT SUBVERSION of audience expectations, that Lightbulb would be willing to win for her team, to reveal that instead she just wanted to go home and be with her friends. She had built up those expectations for herself too and thought EVERYONE (both her friends and on a metatextual level, the real fans) would be disappointed in her for feeling that way but it’s something you can see if you’re looking! Her reactions to all the flying buddies’ eliminations, in the 14 stream there’s a discussion about how she’s not doing well at all being all alone, She just disguised it! As usual! And punished herself for feeling different. And I need to emphasize IT IS THE PERFECT WAY TO GO TO ELIMINATE HER VIA LIE DETECTOR. That was one of the coolest things to me. LIGHTBULB, WHOSE FATAL FLAW IS THAT SHE CANNOT SAY WHAT SHE’S FEELING COMPLETELY STRAIGHT OR HONESTLY, WHO NEVER MAKES SENSE, is forced to fight for a position she doesn’t believe she deserves on a lie detector. My little analytical heart knew as soon as the challenge was revealed she was out. But again, the way it all played out was subversive in just the right way and accurate to her character and I couldn’t be more thankful.

Now it’s time for me to address the Lightbrush elephant in the room. I think Brian said it best on the Jazzy ii15 stream- why does a relationship need to be romantic in order for it to be special? There’s a lot there that is written into the show as is that doesn’t need a kiss scene to suddenly make it pay off or matter. So in this analysis i’m not here for Lightbrush at all. It’s best appropriate to look at it from the lens of a platonic friendship as it was intentionally written and portrayed in the show itself, not to speculate on things that aren’t there.

(Plus, i’m less of a fan of the ship these days. My relationship with it is complicated. I just adore Lightbulb and Paintbrush as characters too much)

Obviously it had to be Paintbrush who responded to the emergency signal. It wouldn’t make sense thematically for it to be anyone else. It was revealed by Brian on a few streams that Test Tube chose to tell Paintbrush to go answer the signal intentionally to help Lightbulb out, knowing that she was missing them and her heart was not in the game. I think it speaks to the strength of the flying buddies that they’re able to read each other like this! In III, we come to understand this is how Paintbrush was feeling after their elimination in 12 and solidified in their season 3 elimination, Their heart wasn’t in the game without meaningful relationships. Both of them were just seeking connection the entire time they were apart, and I think this has to go back to what I said in the post you mentioned that she made up their entire relationship with them. They both had a lot of regrets about the way their friendship worked before their first real connection in 12 before being separated, and spent so much time dwelling on how they could repair that but weren’t able to yet. So now that they have to chance to build that up again together they’re going to take it. I think the talk with her between Baseball Knife and Suitcase at the start of 15 is indicative of this as well, she questions Baseball about voting out Paintbrush, something she never previously expressed any anger about. But she’s not angry, she just has been thinking about it more. And also, that scene is incredible because I fully expected Lightbulb to be alone and misunderstood by the Grand Slams because they saw none of her development and hardly understood her but they approached her to see if she was doing okay and I was surprised! Very much a necessary step towards her decision in the end.

It is INCREDIBLY difficult for Lightbulb to be straightforward. When she’s clicking the pen that’s a coping mechanismmm and when she’s FORCED to say outright “I’m scared, and I need help.” That’s painful for her. Unnatural. Her behavior and method of presenting herself through quirks can’t just be turned off, it’s baked into who she is. And she doesn’t need to change that, she just needs to be seen and recognized and taken seriously anyway. Which makes it perfect when she chooses to eliminate herself with what else but a lie. It’s too hard for her to say “I don’t want to be here. I want to go back and stay with you all”, so she tests her resolve once and for all despite knowing in her heart she just wants to leave with them. She’s not giving up a million dollars just to go be with Paintbrush and I think that take is a bit degrading towards her character- This decision holds a lot of weight to her and the audience who expected a lot from her over the four years of buildup to her appearance here. But everything I mentioned previously built up to this choice, plus the point Taco had been making about leaving the game spoke to her but she chose to leave in her own way, not for the reasons Taco thought she should. And we see also at the end of the episode “today I think an old friend tried to show us she’s drowning” despite being scared of her earlier in the episode SHE STILL SEES TACO AS AN OLD FRIEND FROM SEASON 1! It’s so good that Lightbulb says that line so juicy. But that goes to show again Lightbulb is extremely observant of others. Also i love all of the ocean lingo and theming with her. I should post the Baxter essay sometime. ANYWAY! The point is Lightbulb didn’t make this choice lightly, she’s been toiling with it for three episodes now. She missed “her crew”. And she was always here for relationships and fun, not for the money or the game. She finally built something, and now she just wants to lay with it. She’s earned her rest.

I also need to mention the Dunce hat. Oh my god. Her exiting the show with a Label announcing her as an idiot, a perception so so many have of her and within the show, her friends previously had of her, but she doesn’t care because there are people who see through that, who see her! Sure she might not be understood by everyone for the way she is, but there are special people in her life who do. Lightbulb is such an incredible character.

I tried to keep this brief but of course it isn’t!! And this still feels like I haven’t said enough. But yes 15 was very good for Lightbulb and a great way to wrap up her story- even if it’s not technically over yet! We’ll see what happens in the movie. Thank you for reading this far!

[time-is-restored]

by the way this is not gonna do the subject NEARLY enough justice BUT i do really wish there was more keeley appreciation in the main tags... like not only is she an Extremely explicit parallel for ted, but she's also at the heart of SO much of the show's themes - and you'd never know it from reading most of the meta that goes around!

[content warnings for sexism, sexual harassment, Locker Room Talk™]

okay, so like, in no particular order, here some of the criminally underrated + under-explored things we know abt keeley jones:

she has an almost identical social strategy to ted: being earnestly, and oftentimes defiantly herself, regardless of what assumptions it pushes other people to make abt her (i.e.: her description in the pilot, 'used to having her book judged by its cover'). and then, in spite of the ppl around her belittling her/writing her off, she STILL approaches them w genuine intent to connect + get to know them.

i think it was an EXTREMELY deliberate choice in episode 3 for both keeley and ted to give rebecca 'a compliment she's never heard before'. they're not merely skating by on small talk or doing the bare minimum to show their appreciation for killing the photo (which rebecca would be prepared for), they're subverting her expectations by going for genuine (if bemusing) compliments.

then ofc w keeley's s3 arc, you can see how she's trying (and slowly succeeding, judging by that nervous worker guy's attempts to start joking around with her) to get her PR firm's culture to the same, easy-going, more-friends-than-coworkers vibe of richmond. she even specifically asks ted for advice (and, again, i think its relevant that the advice he gives refers to his most effective team building moment - the ghost banishing ceremony). it's very important to her that ppl feel comfortable in her presence, and we can see her getting genuinely distressed whenever she struggles with this.

she says EXPLICITLY in that one exchange w sassy + rebecca that she freaks out whenever she thinks she's being abandoned - she delivers it like a joke, but she's visibly off-kilter and nervous while she says it, apparently still coming down from the anxiety of thinking she'd been ditched. and again, after the gala when she goes to (presmably) get back together with jamie, she says outright that she really struggles to ever break up with people - even people she's no longer interested in, like jamie! - because she second guesses her own judgement so much. on an adjacent note, imo the melt down she has when roy was crowding her was only as abrupt + extreme as it was because she had been repressing her feelings about it for so long. which is SO interesting in the context of her being one of the most upfront and outspoken characters in the show!!!! like. she literally contains multitudes!

and, also, while i do think there's some genuine critical analysis to be done abt the normalisation of what is, essentially, sexual harassment at richmond (it's... extremely uncomfortable to go on such a long tangent about how attractive a stranger's boobs are, even if ur also a woman), i think keeley's active flirtation + general horny-on-main behaviour is ALSO extremely under-explored. bc, in the context of her being a WAG, and also a model, keeley recieves completely unprompted + unwarranted comments abt her body all day every day. when sassy told her that her ex-husband used to masturbate to her photos, she's hardly shell shocked. it's pretty clear that that's something she's used to being known for, and being told about in gratuitous detail. in this context, you can really see how the way she leans in to flirtation, and talking about sex and the hotness of various ppl around her (ie: her entrance in the pilot, making a show + joke out of how she must Obviously want to see all of the footballers naked), is her way of pushing back against the way others don't respect HER boundaries. ie: 'if my body's fair game for everyone to talk about + sexualise, so is theirs!'. it's an extremely interesting coping mechanism, especially in the context of it leading to her oftentimes perpetuating the cycle of harassment herself. and then there's also how the locker room culture OF richmond involves a significant amt of talking about sex, past partners, etc - since she spends so much time in that environment, you can pretty clearly see how that'd influence her decision to go with the current, rather than against.

AND OFC. HOW could i get this far w/o talking about the sheer narrative weight that's given to her relationship with rebecca!!! not only is she arguably the first character to befriend rebecca (beating ted out by several episodes, at least by my count), she is ALSO the reason that rebecca ever tells ted the truth ('it would change how i feel about you'!!!!!!! AGH!!!!), and honestly i think keeley's disappointment in her is what leads her to finally accept that. sabotaging richmond is a cruel thing to do and she doesn't want to do it anymore! like. keeley's unabashed admiration of + love for rebecca, and rebecca's eventual reciprocation is quite literally the driving force for both of their arcs ('thank you for teaching this panda how to be a lion'!!!!!) and i just!!! i care them!!!!!!!!!!!!

tldr; keeley jones is a blorbo of absolutely apocalyptic proportions PLEASE let her into ur heart the next time ur writing analysis + meta....

[minalblood]

Been a looong while but I'm back with a new episode commentary. 1x09 here we go!

The instant recall to finale of spn s 1 is just as delicious and jarring this time around. Find it very very interesting that it's the vampires that mimic the Winchesters here and do so in order to learn their fate and fulfil it. I'd definitely call this a dark mirror to begin with.

I also adore these vamps, they're sooo fun looking.

John and Mary really came out of that near death experience losing no time in getting together.

The appreciation of Dean being paralleled to the appreciation of Baby is just... sooo funny considering the sheer amount of connections there.

Soo Kyle is instantly suspish here. Not even hiding it, damn. You can tell the shift in personality just based off his demeanor. I also think the little hand gesture he does as he walk away is interesting, it's almost like he's saying "im washing my hands off this bullshit". It subble enough that you could think it's jealousy.

The little hints at Lata and John friendship! My beloved!. Also Lata is suuuch a gossip I love her!

I once more am asking John Winchester to stop trying to be subtle, it aint his strong suit. But alternatively, I sorta get it? Like I can understand why it would be confusing if u don't get where Mary is coming from, since she has no problem letting strangers (and exs) on the street see them together, but not their close friends? But I also completely get Mary as well, she's actually lived as a hunter her whole life which means bagage already, then the fact that their relationship is new and fragile. Plus both her parents and his haven't had the easiest time with relationships. Cautious makes sense.

Ah yes, "fate is what u make it". Dean hearing it from John who heard it from Millie. All of them have their very personal reasons for that saying to apply, but also... Dean saying he didn't expect where things got when he "pushed that first domino" reminds me of Cas and him talking after the 1st Apocalypse that wasn't and about how free will sometimes means things aren't really gonna go the way you like them.to or expect them to (peace or freedom?). It's sorta funny then (read:ironic) that in both John's life (SPN!John) and Dean and Cas after Swan Song the outcome was actually quite tragic over all, John's life literally going out in flames with the rest of it being a living nightmare and in Dean and Cas' case Sam is dead and Heaven is starting a Civil War. This episode then does something really nice in subverting that expectation by setting up the tragedy (John is to die, can't change that) and allowing him to survive and not just that but ending it with him getting exactly what he'd wanted here in the beginning of the episode, getting to freely be with Mary.

I adore how Carlos calms down the driver, showing once again the full range of their skill as hunter and empathy as person. Love them so so much!

Couldn't get a hold of John, says Mary, being more suspicious then if she and John had shown up together... I find that hilarious!

Also also, love that this clarified that fangs are still teeth aka u can identify people (vampires here) based on them. I love love love that!

Uuuù Betty is suspish about Mary.

God! Dean had to have loved the vampire robbers. Vobbers? Rompires? Vambbers?

Oh noooo John! Don't be ur children! Don't just pick up random amulets like a moron! (At least we know who they got it from?)

Carlos is almost just as bad, my God! You see ur friend drop it like it hot and you just bend to.pick it urself?! Ah, Carlos, the range you got babe.

John dying by vamps begins my headache of the night because it is 1000% a callback to Dean's death in 15x20. And I wish that wasnt the case.

Ok let's talk Ursitoare (Uhr- see-too-ah-reh) a sec. So this is Romanian myth. To give an overview of it, the myth largely relates to the Ursitoare (or Fates you could say) blessing or cursing a new born after they've been born. Usually the legend states that the mother or midwife would have to leave out gifts (generally food like bread or water or salt etc) to basically appease them and make sure the baby gets a good destiny foretold. It's also states that those who eavesdrop on them as they tell the childs destiny shall die. They are also said to be quick to anger if spurned. Another interesting think tho about the myth is that (while there can sometimes be 7 or 9) the 3 ursitoare are generally known as Ursitoarea, Soarta si Moartea (aka the One who Wishes your fortune, Fate and Death) again the Greak Fates work very well and there's def overlap between the myths here. But importantly, Ursitoarea is the oldest and Death the Youngest (or othewise simply stated as the 3rd).

Now based on this we have a few things to keep in mind, mainly our vampires. They esentially eavesdrop on John's fate here and get exactly what the legend states - killed. In other news, the Ursitoare are very much neutral beings generally. They can be plied with offerings sure, but overall they just spin the thread as it goes. Its only ever an active role when wishing the newborns destiny. Now John's our newborn here, new to hunting at least, reborn once already after the war and a second time after confrunting everything he has since hunting became his life. More importantly, in some versions of the myth, the ursitoare give either the mother or the midwife dreams the night after the baby is born that need to be carefully interpreted afterwards - exactly what the Gem does here.

To wrap this part up a bit, I am.endlessly happy about the way they tackled this myth. SPN had sadly a bad bad record with Romanian mythology and lore - 1st with the witches in s7 which I'd argue was ... 'inspired' by rromani mythology rather than Romanian which is its own culture and as such its own racist connotation to that whole mess. And 2nd with the Imaginary Friends in s 11 aka Zanna .... which has absolutely nothing to do with Romanian mythology beyond slapping a horrendous mispronunciation of Zână onto a piece of lore that doesnt exist in Romanian mythos - we don't have any imaginary friend stuff, its literally all imported from the US. So this lore here? This is fucking aces! It actually makes sense, is actually a Romanian myth that is still being invoked nowadays - especially in the countryside as tradition of baptising/birth and it works very well in the context of the episode. Now, it would've been perfect if they didnt add that shh sound in Ursitoare making ir Urshitoare... Like its funny a bit cuz I constantly think of bears (urşi - ursh is plural for bear in Romanian) but its ok since its just that. I can live with a minor mispronunciation. I will say the Gem itself is fully made up tho for TW.

To answer Carlos tho, the Ursitoare themselves tell u 2 things: the future and also a future they are willing to bless or curse you with. It's essentially both. They show u the future, ur life as it's meant to be exactly, no deviation, but only in pieces or really a piece as a dream and, importantly the sorta end result of ur life which they wish upon u as newborn. How u get to that wish is up to you. The Gem.appears to have merged these two.

I also love love love the show of community that hunters have, that a hunters network is important to getting the job done. It makes me strangle SPN!John worse because he actively isolated himself aaand his kids. Ffs!

Awwwweee I like Betty! I mean shes a cop soo... not great but shes nice and cares so much and is worried :((

Millie does a good job here I think. She's not dismissive of Bettys concerns, but shes also careful to dispel them if possible. She shows once more how good she is at manipulating people, tho admitedly this time it isnt anything malicious or even generally negative.

I also gotta say that Betty (and id say John by extension) is very naive to think that war could in any way shape or form help with the issues John had had. Like he had trauma from his fathers abandonment and his mothers general treatment afterwards, had trauma from the disfunctional relationship the two had before Henry died/left, which all was underscored by deep-seated guilt that he let out as rage. Like all war would do is make it far far worse. It shows just how young Betty is truly and how she really hasn't lived through too much yet. And i said John too because Im fairly sure he also thought going to war would help in a similar manner.

I also headcanon that Betty was very inspired by Millie... but thats just me.

Carlos continues to be a dumb dumb about Anton... unsurprising, but omg.

I forgot the stone was carved from the Ursitoare's ribs... is it just me who though of the birth of Eve here??? Also yes, Il Soarta is def Italian I realize now. Do i question why an Italian cult was obsessed with Romanian myth.. absolutely not.

Im think that the 'most times not'part of what destiny the Gem shows u is due to essentially the stone acting as ... well... an eavesdropper. Literally. It was given to specific people to use by the Ursitoare as recompense for their worship - so good fate; but then as time went on it became a useful artifact for the benefit of Il Soarta so it became a way to eavesdrop on destiny so said destiny changed in them because that worship became.in name only. As mentioned, the Ursitoare arent patient and dont take well to being spurned or used in this case.

God the drip on the vamps, love them so much!

I would also argue that fate ultimately doesn't care about anyone if the whole universe is in jeopardy and uve a bigger destiny like John Winchester does.

I agree with Mary calling Millie here. Especially since she actually.knows what it's like to just ... lose someone like that. John does too, but he's also the one in the middle of it.

Ironic that Mary says "even if i have to kill every vampire in the tri-state area " ... a version of her actually does do that... for her kids. And simultaneously, its ironic also that another version of John will tell their kids that vampires are extinct (which could get them killed fyi).

Millie and Dean would be horrible together... all theyd do is work in the garage and shittalk research... and I kind love that for them.

I also like that Millie does in fact tell John bout Betty and also basically tells him.to not bullshit a bullshitter. This convo between Millie and John might be the 1st truly empathetic one we've had for them. Like yes, John's defenses go up instantly and he immediately assumes that Millie agrees with Betty and is judging him, but Millie, this time, doesnt do that. She just wants to check-in on how he's doing. And does so softly. And believes him more importantly.

And of course, back to the tried and true Winchester feelings avoidance after we've just had a helluva emotionally vulnerable talk.

I live for Carlos being disappointed in the vamps housing choices. I too would judge that. (So would Dean tbh)

Aaaaand Carlos once more gives us the biggest puzzle piece to where the vamps are.

While Lata is once more absolutely delighted by the magic lockpick like the wonderful nerd she is.

Millie to John "Dont do what u always do, not today" --> leads him directly to the room hes gonna die in. Irony at its finest.

A lot of irony in this episode, i realize now...

God I adore Carlos v vampires fight scene, its soo good. And its followed by the equally as fantastic Mary v vampires. Ahhh, I love them all so much.

Ppl really shouldn't fuck with Mary Campbell when shes pissed and worried.

I will miss the vamps tho... i really liked them :(

Ah yes, Winchester ingenuity at its finest... 🙈

I like what this ep says about how dead mans blood works? It implies that vampires literally drain the life force through the blood because the dead mans blood only came into effect once John did actually die - a few moments after he got bit thus implying a certain supernatural link between the blood just ingested and John's lifeforce. I vibe with that.

Ah yes... the full context - still drives me.mad. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ROBBIE?! Especially with all the parallels TW has to SPN.

I appreciate the CPR not stopping until only after they think he really did die for good. U DONT stop CRP for dramatic pause ( advice to othee shows/movies or in ro aviz amatorilor)

Antoooooonnnnnn!

Anton and Carlos!!! 💓💓💓 yay!

And they're using their words! They're communicating guys 😭 im so proud

Damn... Mary and John are being cute too 🥲

Dun dun dun!

Betty and Kyle and Kyle is Akrida! 😱

Sorry, i dont got anything revealing or deep to say about the ending here 🤣🤣🤣 its all plot and relationships.

Aand so we reach the end of another episode, 4 more to go!

I will say time and distance made this episode easier to watch for me. 15x20 had fucked me up before and made it very hard to watch without refering back to it. It has several parallels to Dean and dying specifically. The main one ofc being death adjacent to vampires. But it also has John killing himself for the sake of the hunt which sadly doesn't bode well either because it reminds me of a really bad couple of weeks back in 2017 when i had the realization that Dean has literally been shown as suicidal every single season (and i can name the ep, its so clear) and then Advanced Thanatology hit the Tv screens on nov 9th 2017... not a fun realization and def not a fun series of events afterwards. Sorry to bring this up here, but well... its relevant sadly.

Thankfully tho, this episode works well to deconstruct that and to subvert the spn finale by allowing John to live and to fully embrace his realtionship with Mary.

In other news, next ep will anger me a bit... for.multiple reason, some having already been discussed by people better equiped to talk about it then me. But rest assured, ive shit to say outside of that too, so see y'all for ep 10. Im aiming to have that up by the end of the week.

And thanks to @noybusiness and @shallowseeker for encouranging me to continue this.

[hazamacore]

APRIL tfp for the character bingo!

YEAH!!!!! APRIL MY LOVE

shes so everything shes literally an everything girl to me she means the WORLD!!!! she has so much depth in my mind believe it like i think theres so much to say with her being a narrative for comphet and thinking youre seeking romance when in actuality ur seeking validation and company and its incredible to me how much the show has in it to support that in contrast with how little convincing material it has to support the “love triangle” as april being genuinely invested at all

^ as ALWAYS!!! the vinyl segment “april in paris” that separates her and the boys for a hot second really coincides with this reading of her like really i think we should isolate the crew into separate rooms and get them to work through their individual issues 🤨

april is REALLY funny i think like the exchange in whos chicken where shes explaining her plan remains one of my fav scenes in the entire show and her weird little one liners make me giggle and kick my feet the most shes sooo strange and corny sometimes like “(tied up in sacks on a conveyor belt to their deaths) well what next my fine feathered friends?” “we're being squished into a double decker sandwich”

ALSO 👆on those lines i really love her genuine “mystery solving team” qualities she has namely her assertiveness and quick thinking - with the former its how she will literally just Decide to do something and skip and augie will be like well :/ we dont really Want to do that but then will do it anyway and the latter really exposes her wonderful mind ❤�� mudsy speaks while invisible? well thats because skip is a ventriloquist and will now bark like a dog on command. muddlemore manor being torn down? i will improvise a whole organisation on the spot. GIRL!!!! i want to study her

and on that note of mystery solving i love her motivation for doing so because shes frequently portrayed as pretty easily scared of things and Yet is (its either her or skip) the first to suggest an investigation because By God She Will Figure Out Whats Going On Here!!!

i love how shes very nice and polite and sweet to everyone who isnt her close friends and then she literally will NOT!!! hesitate to fucking shut them down augie and skip can do so much as look at each other the wrong way and shes on them like a fucking puma like “stop it you two 😡😡” i think she has spidey senses for bullshit

i enjoy how shes evidently intended to be presented as a preppy “the beauty” character through her design, voice, placement between skip and augie (nerd/“the brains” + jock/“the brawn”) but is in reality a competent mystery solver and also deeply strange and silly - each of the crew subvert their intended presentations to varying degrees and april is no different!! shes not the “airhead” an audience would come to expect from the archetype presented. i think if in a different medium these three would really shine with these subversions tbhhhh

and yeas i have so many headcanons leeverse funky phantom in my mind is so beautiful….my fav smaller headcanon (so not to do with her backstory or anything) is her being a writer like its sooo special to me i think her fav authors to draw inspiration from are the bronte sisters + shirley jackson amen

and i say “canon isnt real if i dont look at it” but ive gotta stress im referring to the specific bits of canon that suffer from misogyny (eg: “damsel in distress” tropes, her design) rather than strictly overall but also the entire episode of “aprils foolish day” can DIE!!!!

[kylejsugarman]

top 10 most hated movies go

oh jude u understand my haterdom :') in no particular order.....

"the open house": netflix's low to mid-budget horror movies tend to be resoundingly boring with occasional glimmers of cleverness but "the open house" is genuinely one of the worst modern horror movies. at least "the bye bye man" had some unintentional laughs: "the open house" is one of the dullest, darkest, most boring excuses for a film ever made. it doesn't even have an ending, as if its expecting its audience to have fallen asleep before then and absolving it from coming to a real conclusion. AWFUL.

"escape from tomorrow": im not the biggest fan of jenny nicholson and her content, but she absolutely nailed it with her video taking down "escape from tomorrow". its an embarrassing ego trip with no semblance of story or thematic integrity. how can u secretly shoot a movie at disney world and be such an incompetent filmmaker and storyteller that the most interesting part of said film is the overdubbing of characters saying "neosporin" to avoid getting sued

"spencer": truly dont understand what the fuck anyone was on in applauding this film. "spencer" is basically "the haunting of sharon tate" with an arthouse filter over it. kristen stewart isn't a genius, this film was a depressing and embarrassingly voyeuristic slog, and i hope we all die

"la la land": a circle jerk about old hollywood masquerading as an "ode" to the movies and old movie musicals. pasek and paul need to be barred from the industry for their horrendous songs and chazelle should be ashamed of this masturbatory piece of insubstantial garbage that frames white mediocrity and paper-thin romance as the pinnacle of cinema. also it's just racist as fuck

"split": m night has made some awful movies and i have problems with almost all of them, but jesus christ, "split" is truly fucking vile. even putting aside the obvious demonization of personality disorders and james mcavoy's laughable performance, it's a boring, uninspired slog with a screenplay written on a fisher play laptop. also the theme of horrific trauma being something that makes u Special and intrinsically a Survivor?? kys

"the polar express": this one's a little irrational, ive just always hated this movie even as a kid. the cgi isnt just creepy, its so muddled and lifeless that it can't distract from the interminable running time. this movie feels 4 hours long and its like getting ur teeth drilled the whole time.

"the sandlot": this movie exists solely for men in their forties to reflect on and say "they don't make kid movies like this any more". it is so unbelievably grating and pointless. im biased because baseball is my idea of torture, but id rather sit thru 16 hours of "minions" content than watch one scene of this kids' "classic".

"easy A": idk WHAT people see in this one. i dont find a single aspect of this film charming or clever or funny, it all feels so shallow and wink wink nudge nudge aren't we SO clever for turning THIS teen stereotype on its head?? there are a lot of "subverting ur expectations!!!!" movies from this era of late late 2000s-mid 2010s that i really dislike, but "easy A" is just the pinnacle of insufferable.

"the breakfast club": this might inspire some hate but i despise this film lol. i dont care that its a seminal work or whatever, it is so crushingly unfunny and boring and filled to the brim with unlikeable characters. in the same vein as "easy A", none of this film is charming or clever and even giving grace to the more Outdated aspects of this film, its a grossly obnoxious, unengaging flop that thinks it's saying Something.

"a serbian film": look. we could sit here for hours debating the necessity of this film and what it says about censorship, especially in eastern europe, but at the end of the day, this is a cold, uncreative shock film that indulges in its own depravity. im not above fucked up movies with depraved elements, but "a serbian film" seems manufactured, not created in its depravity. also it perpetuates the myth of the "porn to snuff pipeline", which is a huge issue with a lot of films of this ilk.

[thedeadthree]

☆ persona for all ur lovely mcs!! 🎸💫

ISABELA !!!!!!!! hi hi dearie ! ty ty so much u are a sweetheart AHH.

🎸★ INFAMOUS MC ASKS.

🎸 ★ PERSONA: how does their day-to-day personality compare to their on-stage persona?

ANSWERED HERE ! ♡

she i would say loves to subvert the reserved off stage and lively on stage ! she is the life of any party off stage and plays into the melancholia of her music on stage! as her band takes heavy influence from darkwave/cyberpunk-ish/new wave/noise esque genres her more moody-esque energy when performing is what she plays into on stage! she is the best at parties <3 very known to have the best taste in music and be the dj at parties and road trips, for entertainment will stop the party tunes and will play the most depressing tunes you have ever heard at said parties as well.. for the funsies <3

i think for mona its important to her very much she is as she is both on and off the stage ! shes as thoughtful as she is to her fans on stage and with the people in her life, shes as motivated to create art and make life as beautiful for herself, her fans and her loved ones ! she is as pure of an artist as you can be and she wants that to be seen both for her stage life and in her private life. she loves art in all its forms and as her music is a love letter to art (MoMa is named after and is the acronym for the metropolitan museum of art !!!!!!) and she lives to embody that in her music and her life <3 (things dearest to her are reserved for her loved ones of course and she expects that to be respected!)

he is quite similar to mona in that he is as much of a curator of portraying the love to create and the love of being an artist both in his stage persona and his off stage persona but i will say he likens to his personal life as being precious to him and prefers that be reserved for his loved ones ! he is very much an ambivert in that on stage and out and about he loves to be present with his fans, his friends and his loved ones; but at home or in the studio prefers a small group (maybe one other person or two like rowan or jazz or vic when theyre in a relationship!) of his loved ones or to be with his thoughts ! we love a beloved with range !

they are veeeeeery much so an introvert off stage in comparison to her muuuuch significantly so on-stage persona. on stage aura is the portrayal the wish to be perceived as an artist, they put on a show a masterclass of performace and musical art for their fans ! off stage aura the performer takes a backseat, shes introspective and prefers her thoughts and her art. parties are nooot their thing <3

and teehee bonus track version !

oh indeed ! he gets an au!!!!!! (hes in the g and vic poly! and hes a close friend and a side chara in all of the ocs verses !) and you would never guess what the name of his band is (it is not ken-doll) ! he is just as who he portrays himself both on the stage and off! (and by that he is as much of a beloved buffoon on stage as he is off the stage sjanakjn) loves to share his life with his loved ones and his fans (much to the chagrin of his managers his acting one bernadette/bernie and his music one in the au the dearest orion jaskna. who would prefer if he kept at least one or two things to himself kjaska you dont need to share everything my love!) and if his fans or his loved ones asked him to fight a bear in an arm wrestling match because they had a bad day he would do it because thats the sort of soul he is ! he made a name for himself and his loved ones and his fans were there for him, so his way of returning that love is to offer that in full in return to them !

[hawkinsp0st]

hi hi hi congrats on 1k!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖

hmmm….. i had to bring him up!!!!!! they/he mike (my beloved). so real. so canon. so true.

do you have other headcanons about any other characters pronouns and/or gender identities??? it’s all i can think about rn

thank you dearest mutual!!! 🥺💗🥳 i love seeing you in my notifs, your Takes in the tags etc are immaculate !!!!

oh i could talk about this all day.

first of all, they/he mike wheeler my beloved. you are a saint for asking me about them. he is my king.

while we’re talking abt mike, i wanna say will byers gives me strong transmasc energy :) i love the concept of will being trans bc he’s such a soft lil guy, so he’d really be out here saying fuck off to all of the masculine gender expectations by being a sweet artsy dude <3 plus i think will exhibits incredibly healthy masculinity and it’s cool to think abt him developing that as a trans guy! it fits into his arc in my mind!

i’m so happy you asked abt the others!!!!! omg this is fun i’m gonna try to branch out a bit and think to myself: if these characters truly had the opportunity to explore, how would they identify?

• max mayfield is a demigirl. end of story! she’s giving they/she! i love their style, it’s unlike any other fem presenting person we see on the show.

• lucas sinclair gives me agender vibes. like his gender is giving “idc” and i love him for that /pos

• el hopper. el hopper. i think about my hcs for her all the time bc whatever gender she’s got going on, it’s super comforting to me (kinda the fem version of how they/he mike is comforting to me). i think she’s nonbinary, and would be comfy w any pronouns :-) ugh she’s so gender. i die.

• robin buckley is giving nonbinary lesbian vibes straight out the gate. everybody say amen.

• nancy wheeler……i was originally gonna say she’s cis but she gives me a lil……idk……..a lil splash of she/him vibes. since nancy’s character is all about subverting those gender expectations for women, perhaps she’s genderfluid like me!

• jonathan byers - i saw someone say he gives nonbinary vibes one time and i can’t unsee it. he’s giving demiguy and i love that for him! i love whatever his Brand of masculinity is!!

hmmm those are all the ones off the top of my head but if u have other specific characters ur curious abt pls lmk :-)

[deonideatta]

I'm kinda sick rn so I had to make this list through a lot of sniffling but here's a list of some ways homecha's portrayal of the main romance is ticking all my boxes

The love triangle! There was no possessiveness, no arguing over who gets the girl without any consideration for what the girl herself wanted, no friendships were ruined, du shik and ji pd are still on pretty good terms, ji pd respected hye jin's choice and she and him still have a pretty good relationship. Plus ji pd was not left in the dust or mishandled by the plot to invoke sympathy in viewers, rather we see there's a chance for him with the writer. There was even a line about how much love triangles suck. As a licensed love triangle hater I approve

The character development, especially on hye jin's part. Look how far she's come from the beginning, love that for her

The way du shik's jealousy was dealt with. Personally I really dislike jealousy plotlines, so I loved that du shik was able to talk it out with hye jin, and apologize for lashing out. I also like that it doesn't seem forced, like they slotted it in to hit all the usual romcom drama targets, but that it actually makes sense given what we've been shown so far about du shik's fear of abandonment. I also like that it was recognized how childish jealousy can be, while still allowing du shik to process it and deal with it properly. And the scene where he cringes at himself for stealing ji pd's drumsticks was so funny skdms

The sappiness. It's so sappy I sometimes feel like I'm going to get cavities and I love it. Yes I cringe sometimes, but they're in the honeymoon phase, they'll probably tone it down over time

The communication. Lack of communication has been the downfall of many a kdrama couple, and I'm super happy that they aren't going that route here. There are many points where they could have had a completely unnecessary fallout due to communication problems, but so far we've seen them deal with their problems head on, ask for each others opinions, and generally de-escalate potential misunderstandings pretty quickly. It really gives me hope that they won't hit us with the break up-time skip-reunion combo in the final eps

No noble idiocy!!! There's the whole 'I don't deserve to be happy' thing, but nevertheless du shik doesn't push hye jin away! So many of us were sure that he'd reject her in ep 9, but he didn't, and I was over the moon. Idk I just love that the counselling he's had and his love for hye jin are enough for him to see through the tricks his mind plays on him instead of forcing us to sit through like 3 eps of "nooo we can't be together because I ~don't deserve love~"

Speaking of which, the fact that du shik actually goes to therapy. Sort out ur issues in healthy ways besties

The lack of mean cliffhangers. Every episode so far has ended with something so pleasant, and as someone who's still crying tears of joy over ep 12's ending I really appreciate it. It's nice to finish an ep feeling content and warm

This most recent episode. Even after suffering at the hands of misleading previews a billion times I still went into ep 12 worrying about what the preview had shown, especially du shik meeting his old classmate. But there was none of the dramatic earth shattering backstory reveal I expected, and instead it was as sweet as ever. This year I developed trust issues due to events that won't be discussed so it was lovely to have that expectation completely subverted

And on the topic of ep 12, that last scene??? The way that du shik didn't feel threatened or belittled by hye jin's money, the fact that he reciprocated her gift giving in a way that was meaningful to him, the fact that he told her not to worry about what he or anyone thinks about the way she spends her own money

And the fact that they didn't draw out the misunderstanding towards the end of the episode, they could easily have escalated it and had them fall out over it, but they talked about it, they didn't have du shik put distance between them for no reason, and we got a whole kiss out of it all :D

The banter. Small thing but I love that they kept it up even after they started dating

In conclusion the writers for this show are really out here doing the most, and I love it. They've subverted so many bad kdrama romcom cliches while still delivering a drama that is sweet and lovely to watch, and it really is refreshing

[scullysflannel]

but pls explain me season 6 🤪 (i would love to hear ur reading of mulder in s6)

lol neither one of us expected this to be 1400 words long but here we are.

So my first and most honest take on Mulder and Scully in season 6 is just that the writers were playing the game more that season. They spent five years subverting the Hollywood idea that two people who love each other have to act like they hate each other, and then the show moved to L.A. and the writers were like okay! It’s trope time! And they dropped a cow through Mulder’s roof so there would only be one motel bed for him to share with Scully. I respect the game. It’s my favorite season. But it’s a big shift from the way Mulder and Scully were written before, and it really only works because the season winds up being thematically cohesive enough to justify it, to a degree that was probably sometimes intentional and other times definitely not. Like in Arcadia I think we can all agree the writers were simply men making bad jokes about marriage.

But in the big picture, so much of the season supports the idea that Mulder and Scully are backsliding because they’re fighting the next stage of their relationship. I’ve said this before, but I think the hallway confession in Fight the Future is massive for Mulder and Scully in season 6. Way bigger than Diana. Scully says it in the season premiere: When Mulder told her that he needs her to be his scientist, the lesson she took from that was that she can’t change. The whole season thematically is about the two of them being afraid to let themselves change each other or admit they already have, because they’re afraid that if they stop being the Skeptic and Believer they stop working. They don’t want to risk losing each other. But they can’t be in a relationship if they can’t be changed by each other. So they’re stuck in this terrible limbo, and they’re not happy about it, especially because they’re already at a point where the roles they’re playing don’t fit them anymore. And at a macro level that’s honestly some of the best justification for “will they/won’t they” screwball comedy fanservice I’ve ever heard.

I love all the ways the season plays with Mulder and Scully’s anxiety. In Dreamland Mulder gets trapped in traditional married life; in Arcadia Scully signs them up for it and all he does is mock her; in The Rain King they keep getting mistaken for a couple. They’re always having to confront these domestic expectations. Neither one of them wants that life, but they were both kind of bred to expect it: Mulder the Martha’s Vineyard kid, Scully the sacrificial military wife. That’s part of what they’re struggling with: They don’t have a blueprint for what being a couple will look like for them, and they keep having these visions of the worst possible ending. “Getting out of the car” isn’t even a line until Dreamland, but Drive is literally “if Mulder gets out of the car, will someone die?” Do they die without each other (Tithonus) or because of each other (How the Ghosts)?

A lot of people have written so well about the motifs of this season. @iconicscullyoutfits pointed out how many season 6 episodes involve resets (How the Ghosts), usually with memory wipes (Dreamland, Monday) and dreams (Triangle, Field Trip). The message is that Mulder and Scully can’t move forward if they can’t get out of their own heads. (Field Trip pulls it all together by putting them in each other’s heads.) @foxmulders brought up how season 6 keeps telling Mulder and Scully they’re fated to live and die together (Triangle, Monday, How the Ghosts) but still forces them to choose each other on purpose, and I think a lot of the season lives in that tension between knowing something and still having to choose it. And @thegrotesckque has a great take on how Field Trip resolves the “getting out of the car” question (is it a betrayal for Scully and Mulder? Is it a betrayal for the show?) by proving that they’re better as a team when they stop playing Skeptic and Believer anyway. That’s what saves them.

All of that is so much better than whatever the show is trying to do with Diana. She’s not written well enough to explain why Mulder is so loyal to her (but is written just badly enough to justify Scully’s animosity lol). The X-Files doesn’t care about Diana as a person or even about her relationship with Mulder and how it affects him; it’s not like being burned by Diana brings up Mulder’s trust issues later in the season. They just wanted Scully to be jealous. It’s the weakest trope in a very tropey season; they threw in a love triangle and then immediately stopped caring about it, and not in a funny “no one else stands a chance” kind of way, although obviously yeah, no one else stands a chance.

But Diana isn’t the point. Even if she were better written she wouldn’t be Mulder and Scully’s biggest problem, because all of the interesting episodes of the season are about how Mulder and Scully are their own biggest problem. Diana just weaponizes those insecurities. Like, yes “you’re making this personal” is so rude it’s comical and Mulder is a jerk to Scully about Diana and Diana is a snob, and you can see all of that contributing to why Mulder and Scully are on edge with each other in the first half of the season. But it’s not like either one of them actually thinks Diana might be better for Mulder than Scully is. They’re just afraid they’ll let her stand in their way.

If I wanted to really give the Diana arc the benefit of the doubt, it would go like this: Diana is a catalyst for Scully to realize how much she wants to feel wanted. Mulder takes Scully for granted, and I’m usually kind of charmed by that (I know) because he trusts her so much. He’s so comfortable with her (@wtfmulder has written about this). But when Diana shows up and he starts siding with Diana over Scully, it hurts, especially because he never gives her a good reason. Really I think he’s just loyal and handling it badly. He sides with Diana because that’s the relationship he thinks needs defending right now. We talk a lot about the power imbalance in Scully’s previous relationships, but from the way Mulder behaves around his old girlfriends it seems like he’s been overpowered just as much. This is the first equal relationship for both of them.

It’s just wild that they put themselves through so much because it’s so simple. Of course Mulder loves Scully. He tells her so. But I think Dana “oh brother” Scully is right that he’s not ready to do anything about it, because if he were he’d be making her feel desired. He can say “I love you” on painkillers, but he can’t even ask her to dance in Kroner. He makes bad jokes to deflect (hence all of Arcadia). He’s just as overwhelmed as Scully is by the weight of what they are. I think in early season 6 they both still need the song and dance that gives them plausible deniability: him stealing her car keys and her insisting that she really should be getting home. And if Mulder has a hard time earnestly pursuing her, I think Scully also has a harder time than she’d admit letting herself be pursued. They’ve been kicked off the X-files. In a way just spending time together is so much more intentional than it used to be. Everything means more.

I don’t think they start to get their act together until Milagro, when Scully lets go of her desire to be pursued. The show’s method is bad—Dana Scully is never allowed to learn a lesson until her body is put in danger—but I think David Duchovny mostly saved it by making sure Mulder learns something too. Even if he had no idea what would happen right before The Unnatural, the way the episodes fall is perfect. Mulder finally figures out that Scully wants him to want to spend time with her outside work. It only took six full years. 

And then because they are very zero to sixty I think there’s a good chance they start doing IVF, like, right after that. Love that journey for them. If they started IVF before Mulder read Scully’s mind, he must have been insufferably needy. Maybe that’s why they’re so short with each other in Field Trip; they’re trying to make a baby and they need supernatural intervention to process it. It takes a literal religious revelation to convince Mulder and Scully it’s okay to hook up.

[tottymatsuno]

Fics I'm working on! Updated Feb 2nd, 2023. Includes the multichapter Ichi ideas I have. Last update Jan 24th, 2022.

I didnt unfortunately finish this upsate bc im tired, but heres some of the new stuff

Totty fics up front!

Apostasy - demon au based off of the Akuma riders hesokuri set. Todomatsu steals a traumatized skitzo virgins soul bc she just so happens to be the only one who ever found him attractive. 9.5/18 parts completed. NSFW. 😈

Equal Footing: A tsundere office worker totally hates her rival Todomatsu because he's an asshole! She definitely hates his cute lil smile and no longer has any good will towards his sexist ass. Nope, not at all. 4/6 parts completed. NSFW

Peach Boy: Currently being reworked but childhood friends having an equally inexperienced hot and cold relationship with one another because they're both petty and rude. Somehow they might make it work?? 8/??? parts completed. NSFW

I believe he's not my butler: Snobby rich girl falls for ugly man who has no prospects or capital despite his shitty personality. 1/2 parts completed. SFW

It's not cheating if we're broken up: Identity theft as a small plot point, reader goes on a romantic rendezvous with her soon to be ex's high school chum. Fucks him and then steals ex boyfriends money. Catches feelings specifically because she understands that Todomatsu is an awful piece of shit and that terribleness is an extremely attractive quality in a man for her. 2/3 parts completed. NSFW

Idol Worship: Fujio Rock/Idol au. Skeptical assistant hates her boss' attempts at romance bc he was such an asshole she can't believe he's a decent guy. Meanwhile Totty is in love and is sick from it. 3/4 parts completed. SFW for now.

Oh please, oh please: Totty and reader are annoyingly cutesy and then fuck. 1/2 parts completed. NSFW obv.

Pink Angel From hell: Host club au based off of the drama cd. Yall better do the required reading this time I s2g. Toxic Totty realizing he is worth love bc of the only dumb virgin who is in lust with him. A character exploration about parallels and oscillating expectations between two people who care for each other but do not express it in the same ways trying to meet each other finally in the middle. There's direct parallels, inversed and subverted parallels, there's symbolism and direct hypocrisy! It's gonna be good I promise to see these two and their arcs work out. Love isn't bought its cultivated and grows over time, not bc someone pays for it. You cannot expect a transactional relationship to become a romantic one right off the bat. Plus I find asshole evil Totty super hot so begone if u want initially healthy loving Todomatsu. Dip ur feet in the acid, my dear. The toxic is great this time in spring! 5/??? SFW for now, will be NSFW later.

Your body often finds my coffin: vampire au, half inspired by the lines in Love me dead, the horror of our love by Ludo and also the song twisted teeth from the 35mm musical. One of my rare serious fics and a lesson in open communication and consent. It's lust to hate to accepting to love story. I've only written the original one shot at this point but I really wanna write more and a multichapter fic of it. SFW as of now but idk it could get spicy.

In the peach pit, saw you fake it: punk rock bookstore worker has an enemies to friends to lovers with Todomatsu after they go on a bad tinder date. They're coworkers too. One of the few Totty fics I actually establish an entire initially platonic relationship on screen instead of in the background. If you love edgy traumatized autistic punk girls who are tryna recover and be her most authentic and happy self and Todomatsus ugly ass you'll enjoy this. Oh yeah and Totty and Karamatsu go to substance abuse counseling! ???/??? current chapters uploaded are sfw but it doesnt stay it. I'm nearing the end writing it though? I just need to bump it with some content and get everything in one document and in order.

Pure Snow, Muddied Tracks: Totty at a mixer bags an equally inexperienced virgin. They fuck and then enter once again an unhealthy relationship. It's really weird but this one was written because I wanted to see how Todomatsu would be an a legit fucked up boyfriend. I'll trigger warn it. There's no sexual abuse but Todomatsu does get gaslighty and possessive. This was written explicitly bc I wanted to see him be evil, it does not fully go into outright abusive territory and stuff but yeah I mean viewer descrection. Wouldn't read this one if you've been in an emotionally manipulative relationship. ???/??? NSFW Changed the title too.

Talked refine: based off of the Hozier song Talk and that one set where the matsunos get blackout drunk. Totty actually has game for once but still fumbles the bag. Doesn't lose his virginity even tho his brothers didn't even fuck it up for him. 0/2 parts completed. Suggestive with an alt NSFW ending.

The Dust Settled Under your Starry Night eyes: trans guy reader and trans Tottimi. Outlaw western au. Reader is a bank robber who spots Tottimi on a hit with her brothers. It's love at first sight, they become their most naked and real selves within the dusty night. 0/3 parts completed. Suggestive but like in a poetic way :^)

Eyes Always Seeking: Story about death and rebirth. Todomatsu buries his dead spouse in a pet cemetery and they come back wrong. Mostly completed. SFW...I dont really have a pervy idea for it tbh. I might later?

Mutually Creepy: Two virgins hit on each other in the most bizarre and frankly creepy ways. NSFW One-shot (this ones almost done)

Codependency: A coworker of the girl Todomatsu and Karamatsu fought over has DPD and a crush on Todomatsu. He takes advantage of it (another bad guy totty fic??) Based a little bit off of the song June 6th/Boyish by Japanese Breakfast. Anyways these two are codependent in a weird little way. 0/2 SFW.

Better To Eat You With: This one is kinda weird, sorry. There's a new cast member on Osomatsu-san who keeps trying to seduce Todomatsu. First skit Todomatsu has with this new character is her as the big bad wolf and him as Little Red Riding Hood. It's a character study, it's a deconstruction of ososan's reality, it's about how the mechanics of the characters reality works, its about loneliness and desire and wanting to be wanted and infatuation and a critical analysis! It's a lot! Todomatsu kisses his hand! It's sexy im sorry. It's a oneshot but is over 8k so I'll have to post it on ao3. NSFW

Cracked Vanity Mirror: no actual love interest, just Todomatsu being lonely scrolling through tinder. sfw

What Do You Call This Emotion?: Todomatsu tries to play games but isn't experienced enough to win them. sfw so far

Ash To Ash, Back To Back: punk band au. probably nsfw

Broke and Dusty: love and collecting old electronics. sfw And They Were Roommates: An exchange student comes back to Japan after cutting off her narc family and decides to live her best life rebelling and not listening to what shes told! She's supposed to rent out and manage a rental property but says fuck it lol. Asks her bffs Sacchi and Aida who should move in w her and they say "Totty, go save that boy PLEASE!" bc they wuv him. anyways Totty and the reader link up and become like best friends forever!! There's not REALLY tension at first, they're literally just friends and its very cute, like vibing really hard. anyways yeah they were roommates! I havent written much for this one yet but im trying to figure out what's gonna make it shift to a romantic dynamic. Anyways best friends to lovers. I think its gonna be nsfw. 3 chapters written so far.

Wait, Why Am I Your Second Choice?!: Todomatsu has a unionized rotation of girlfriends bc Sacchi and Aida want him off those damn sugar apps. He's too naive and stupid to be getting into that so his very good friends have been taking applications to join his platonic girlfriend roation. The requirements is that each person has to be in a pair. Anyways reader and her bff joins and they become good friends w Totty! But Totty likes the reader's friend and not really the reader intitally. Friendship, unrequited affection, rejection and mutal understanding are the major themes here. i havent decided how it ends yet! sfw

Bambina: Vaguely based off of my experiences with my baby lol! Very personal djkjkdsg....todomatsu gets hired as a handy-man after he and matsuyo spend sometime watching a milf get attacked by an infant for a few weeks. The reader is related to Kin-chan! Kin's her older sister <3 anyways reader lives with her grandma after her divorce and Totty is paid to fix shit around the house. they fall in WUV <3 ????/???? i havent written any nsfw yet for it but itll be there

With Ya Old Ass: Totty takes reader to his fishin hole and is an old man about it. They are bi4bi. sfw

THE PERSONALS!!! AKA I probably wont be posting all of these

Quit Playin': this one is me getting my feelings hurt lol...

DieTai: I literally will never post this but its about if I were an anime character and the genre it'd be and if Todomatsu would like me the same amount I like him. A deconstruction of the OI ive been reading, a deconstruction and critique of whump as a genre. its about thinking you know someone until you meet them, and about romanticising bad traits because you cant be harmed by them bc theres a level of safety and the fear of rejection is gone when youre kissing a screen and not another set of lips. this one makes me SO sad!!!!! its cathartic. its nsfw because of its many themes

Green Ribbon: It's a very personalized story about my trauma that involves some body mutaliation and extreme depictions of child abuse. Makes reference to the Scary Stories about the green ribbon. this one makes me sad so i havent finished it, but Totty asks me a question during my grieving season and I cant answer him. sfw and unsexy too

Crying Over Spilled Milk: Idk it was october and I wanted to process my grief a bit better. It's about if Totty saw me the day my mama died lol.....it's a very realistic take on the ososan universe imo where theyre just actors and like regular ppl w/o any weird reality bending or anything. just the brothers as childhood actors w references to kun and other akatsuka characters. anyways like totty goes out peacocking after the 2nd episode airs and sees me and tries to nonverbally flirt and eavesdrops on my phone convo and then watches me have an entire breakdown on the trainplatform bc i found out my mama died! I literally will never ever post this but im typing it here so i can remember it by next october. this did not stay sfw

I'll Be Back Tomorrow Or The Next Day: based very much off of my real life and real marriage and if totty was there ig. nsfw

Strip Yourself Bare For Me: By The Layers about tottys year in America in 2017. We were penpals and he moves in w me after being homeless in Japan. we fall in love-love. ends sadly bc he goes back to Japan and we break up </3 nsfw

Don’t lead me on!: posted. 1/2 done. Im best friends with todomatsu and i tell him i love you like i say to all of my friends constantly and forever and he takes it WAAAAYYY too seriously.

I’LL KILL YOU!!: @itchypinefield is here! First words said to you by your soulmate au. He’s threatening to kill me, im doing the same <3

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HOW COULD I FORGET TO ADD MY TOTOKO SET!!

For Someone Like Me: based off of susie save your love, totoko has unrequited feelings for me while i rush head first into a pretty unhealthy relationship with todomatsu. We become girlfriends <3

You’re a star, baby!: Choromatsu gets fired and Totoko replaces him with a brand new social media manager that leans into her heel with a babyface behaviors but she realizes that her new agent/secretary/assistant/sns marketer is kinda cute and really into her.

Shred me with your teeth: making out with totoko but shes got shark teeth and shes cute and needy 🥰

Summer Crush: in tottys pov, and an ot3 fic with me, him and totoko. Todomatsu and Totoko are roommates living in America trying to get their careers to take off after their sketch comedy reboot fails flat in the water. Ex child stars who want to be taken seriously in their prospective niches, Todomatsu in theater and Totoko as a television actress. They both have a lot of sexual tension but Todomatsu has a crush on me bc he sees me on hjs jogs. Totoko is initially jealous and investigates until she also gets a crush on me bc i truly am adorable. Anyways we eventually all date

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AUS WITH FRIENDS/SERIES WITH FRIENDS! These all have porn im sorry

Erina section! @girlymatsu co-owns these aus with me! Some if not most of these have very little actually written 😭

You're Kinda Just Some Guy, Huh?: Normiematsu au with Erina, Benimatsu are actually very well respected actors in their gag anime, and are still virgins. They're just some guy though, very practical, not particularly innocent but they do respect women and try not to be creeps. They end up trying to hard to not be creeps they become majorly repressed freaks. Nsfw

Mixer Set!: One of these includes @ichikos but the rest are me and Erina ending up at mixers with benimatsu. one involves the matsunoir au thingy. Another one is they get yucky at a mixer and then do public stuff on a train like a week later sorry, and the final one i fogor

Won’t You Be Mine, Earth Angel: osomatsu and todomatsu are incredibly good at their angelic duties, and have been tasked with saving two lost souls from damnation in an experimental therapy. Lots of worldbuilding but despite being super nsfw its a ton of wishful fulfillment for me personally about unconditional love and family.

Mechanical: mecha au! Erina is an intergalactic warrior princess, Osomatsu is a half mixture of himself and proper Osomatsu. He has mixed feelings about his duties, osokun still canon but the brothers are child soldiers and this is NOT a good thing! 18!Todomatsu is assigned evil by playing gta v in what should’ve been a 2 minute simulation and is given a service dog mecha/friend who he then eventually marries

Sleepover slumber party!!: benimatsu go to a sleepover with us and slut it up <3

Mononoke au (i dont have a title sorry): this one splinters but idk theyre cute theyre the mononoke i have no brain to type out the plot but theres a plot I swear nsfw

Two slow dancers: based off of that s3 episode and is Evan’s au! Osomatsu is divorced, behind on child support, living alone in a house he can barely afford bc of his gambling addiction, and the woman he flirts with at holiday parties moved across the street from him. He starts getting his life together but has to deal with the guilt of ruining his first relationship and thinking his three kids hate him, but also dealing with the fact he still has a life to live and wants to he in love. On the flip todomatsu has dead wife syndrome and is very confused by his work wife because we look exactly alike. Anyways a marriage by convenience and then falling in love or w/e. Nsfw

Put a collar on that mutt: based off of the billionaires werewolf au, i dont think theres really a plot i think its just sex tbh.

Magical Girls: osoko has a big comphet problem, and erina is bisexual but then dates osoko’s sleezy alternative self! And also Totoko also has a problem, her evil alternative self is getting married to her true love!

Investment: based off of e3.5 or whatever where they’re the unused brothers. Todomatsu flirts with me, gets my number, then gets up and flirts with erina and i get mad. I see him again when we’re both getting pressured at a mlm conference, we get lost on the way home and i realize whar a cringe fail loser he is (osoeri are falling in love btw) and Totty gets a crush on me bc i dont throw him ina river.

Eros’ Arrow: cupid au, ough i wish i had the energy but its VERY lore heavy, very based off of greek mythology along with world building about cupids as a society, as a species, as a job, and like how love is crushed out of ppl bc of capitalism. Cupids falling in love with humans is an expected flight of fancy that they have to grow out of, but these two dont.

Dragon au: inspired by @chorotchi’s dragon au, very lore and fairytale inspired. Erina is a “cursed sacrificial bride” but actually is a witch, im a holy knight. Beni kissing.

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Mobile Games Are Lame!: An otome isekai but with Ichimatsu! The reader played a mobile game for a while but died and got reincarnated and realized that she was gonna have to get married to one of these brothers. she picks Ichimatsu and they have a veeery sweet romance where they communicate through notes bc ichi is shy <3 sfw and a oneshot project with my friends, and also splinters off. I’ll probably write the whole idea down when i get the chance, but every major character gets a route. This is also the villainess au with my friends and where it alll originated from

I Don't Love You: Reader falls in love with the weird guy who keeps feeding her cats. NSFW 1/4

Sakura Petals: childhood friends who lost connection and then fall in love. I started writing this years ago but didnt get very far. sfw

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Loving You Is Easy Because You're Dead: ghost boyfriends! All of the brothers have died except for the ones that arent dead! You some how manage to date them. 6/6 done, epilogue planned

Who You Actually Are: Story about all the brothers growing up, moving out and becoming healthier people. Involves LOTS of growing pain and looks at their relationships under a critical lense. Has a happy ending but its really hard getting there. There's probably like 5/20 chapters done. SFW

Valentines Day/White Day: Preplanning this, hoping to have my queue cleared out before these dates tho!

Ache & Bake: Request! Outlines done! Just need to get the emotional stamina to write them. Multichapter fic based off a request 2/6

Birthday Bash: Request, outlines done. Christmas Party: Request, outlines done. Road trip: Request, outlines done! Another multi chapter request.

Through Rain or Shine: Request with shy!Karamats taking the lead.

[thewhizzyhead]

i've been thinking a lot about my opinion towards boleyn's characterization in six which then caused my brain to go on full analysis mode on how the solos in six set up the whole story and all like we have aragon's no way, the first solo song in the show, and that tells us what to expect from the queens and the rest of the show: a fun funky pop concert musical with lots and lots of queens doing a cardio workout in heels. This sets the atmosphere and tone of the show as "very fun you will enjoy this".

Then next up is boleyn's don't lose your head: at first the boleyn introduction sets her up as some conniving cunning infamous queen...which then pans to boleyn taking a selfie so at that point what the show is doing to the audience is made clear: building up their expectations based on prior and popular knowledge about the queens and subverting them and that is exactly what happens to DLYH. Right from the get go we think that "oooohhh this is gonna be a bop" and then at the last minute (this is more evident in the audios and bootlegs) we see boleyn panicking, yelling "What was I meant to do????" three times. How we see Boleyn throughout the course of that 4 minutes changes so suddenly and the fact that this sudden change was put so early in the show makes the audience think that "oHHHHHHHHH so there's more than meets the eye here okay".

At that point the audience will subconsciously be expecting more subversions and whiplashes because that's the standard that has been set by DLYH ... which is why i fucking love the whiplash from Heart of Stone to Haus of Fucking Holbein SERIOUSLY IT'S GENIUS WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT WHAHAHAHAHA HOW THIS SHOW KEEPS THE AUDIENCE ON ITS TOES WITH ITS SUBVERSIONS AND WHIPLASHES. But besides the point, placing Heart Of Stone right after the boppity bop with a master's degree at nuance and subversion that is Don't Lose Ur Head is kinda smart because like I said, due to the subtle but still noticeable tonal shifts present in Boleyn's song, the standard of "there is so much more than meets the eye" has been set and seeing the show go from dancing queens to emotional ballads within the first 30 minutes of the show solidifies that.

Then after the glorious acid trip that is Haus of Holbein, which btw also keeps up the subversion pattern of the show by a. Providing an acid trip out of fucking nowhere, b. Providing social commentary about ridiculous beauty standards within said acid trip and c. Providing a 16th century parody about fucking tinder, we are back to step 1: making the audience expect that this is a funky fun musical with queens doing cardio workouts, this time through Cleves. Aside from providing good subversions of the standards set through showing that cleves, unlike the rest of the queens, actually had a pretty damn good life i mean sitting here all alone on a throne in a palace that i happen to own heck the entirety of Get Down is just Cleves flexing on everyone really, this also sets up the feel good all is fun atmosphere which is incredibly essential for Katherine Howard's 7 minute solo.

so yes all you wanna do is a masterpiece and how the show sets up the atmosphere right before and during the song is amazing. You still got happy vibes all around because yay cleves flexing, then u get even more happy vibes because oh look the youngest one in the group gives damn good clapbacks, then u get even MORE happy vibes when the lights turn all pink and K Howard goes "I'm the ten amongst these threes" cause YAY THIS GIVES BOLEYN-SONG-ISH-VIBES, and then all those happy vibes get snatched away, ripped to pieces and burned in the fiery pits of hell when K Howard says "I was 13 going on 30". anD THEN ALL OF THE REMAINING HAPPY VIBES GET FORCEFULLY RIPPED OUT YOUR HEART WHEN K HOWARD HAS A FUCKING MENTAL BREAKDOWN BY THE LAST MINUTE OF THE SONG.

Yayyyyyyyyy.

One thing I've noticed is that contrast is incredibly helpful in fully realizing the intensity of a color, sound, or story and this is especially shown here. The contrast between Aragon and Boleyn's song style, the contrast of happy dlyh to WHAT WAS I MEANT TO DO???, the contrast between dlyh and hos, the contrast between hos and haus of holbein, and especially the contrast between get down and all you wanna do AND especially the contrast between the initial atmosphere of all you wanna do and k howard's mental breakdown. Six just pulls off the contrasting elements and the thematic subversions so fucking well that the point of "There's more than meets the eye" is especially evident at this point of the show and it is especially driven home when K Howard ends her song to the point that there are a few seconds of uncomfortable silence before people decide to clap. Plus the uncomfortable atmosphere is incredibly impactful when by that point of the show you see the queens rEALLY being petty with each other which is why I can see why Parr reacted the way she did when she was called on for her performance and why she only just spoke up now about how wrong the whole competition really is (aside from well you know chronological order) which leads to emotional mellow ballad part 2, thus following Seymour's pattern while subverting the expectations when Parr's song becomes a rallying song for the queens to end the competition and not pit each other against one another; Parr's song also subverts the established Seymour Pattern by ending it on a literal and figuratively speaking high note.

So all in all i am personally so impressed by how the musical plays with the audience by building up their expectations and keeping them on their toes til the very end by subverting each and every one of the established patterns and standards, especially those based on popular (and mostly wrong) assumptions about the queens. Like it's really really good and I'm a bit mad at myself for just realizing this now after a year and a half of stanning SIX. Soooo yeah the S in SIX stands for subversion thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[linkspooky]

The Characters of Nisioisin (2)

Trickster - Ii (Boku)

This is a post in an ongoing series about the common character archetpyes used by Nisioisin. If you want more information check out the previous post, here. Consider this a part two of that same post. Today we’ll be looking at the nonsense user, and deceiptful protagonist from the aptly titled series “Zaregoto” or in english “Nonsense”.  More underneath the cut. 

I established the four criteria we are going to be dividing this post into in the previous post, as well as introducing what the idea of the trickster archetype is. Using Kumagawa as the UR-example we’re going to compare Ii-chan with those same tropes. 

Introduced as a Villain

Subverts Expectations

Lying, Liar who Lies

Inherent themes of Nihilism

1. Introduced as a Villain

So, next Iichan. He's a special case out of these three because he's actually the series protagonist. But he still kind of fits the criteria because in his series the basic premise of every book is that iichan goes somewhere and a murder happens and then he tries to solve the murder for like the whole book and he sort of kind of solves it and then Jun Aikawa whose much more of a "hero" character than him, the coolest, sickest, strongest detective ever shows up out of nowhere and lectures him.

The sort of conflict set up between Ii-chan and Aikawa as two detectives of the story reminds me of a quote by Maiji Otaro, author of Jorge Joestar (among other things). 

“Two detectives, one true. If both are detectives, then both must arrive at the same truth. But does that happen in the novels of this world?”  “Most novels with two detectives have one solve it and the other discover the real solution hidden behind it.” 

“At that point, are they both still detectives?” 

“Hmm.. they’re treated like detectives but certainly, within that novel, the latter is the real detective. But they might switch places in the next novel.” 

(Jorge Joestar). 

Ii-chan is never introduced as an antagonist from the start of the series he is and always is the narrator. However, he’s still introduced as something he is not. Kumagawa is introduced as a villain and goes on to become a deuteragonist. Iichan is a main character but he doesn’t affect the story like a main character ought to, nor does the story really revolve around him. 

So there’s still an inherent lie to his introduction. He is introduced as the center of the story but he is not the story’s real center. However, there’s another subversion implicit in Iichan’s character from the first novel to the second novel. 

The first novel is the one where Iichan plays the role of the detective the most straightforwardly. He figures out the trick, solves the case, corners the murderer, but doesn’t solve it all the way and gets lecture by Aikawa at the end. However, there’s a strange way that all the characters react to Iichan despite the fact that he constantly makes himself out to be just a completely harmless, and incapable normal guy. 

“Ther’s no meaning. Just like there’s no meaning in your actions. You know, you’re, wow, so you’re the kind of guy who’ll get angry for the sake of a complete stranger. That’s not a very good thing. It’s not bad per se, but it’s not good. [...] That’s because people who can expose their emotions for the sake of someone else are the same people who blame things on others when something goes wrong. I despise people like you. 

It had to be the first time in quite a while that someone had spoken that harshly right to my face. Slowly, she brought her glaring gaze to meet my eyes. 

“You just let yourself get carried along by other people. You’re the type wo ignores traffic lights just because everyone else is doing it. You’re an abomidable excuse for a human being. They often say ‘Harmonize without agreeing’ but in your case, young man, it’s like you’re agreeing without harmonizing. I won’t say that’s bad. I won’t say anything as to that. One’s identity and worth are not always connnected. A train that runs along a track is better than a train that doesn’t. So I won’t say anything as to that. But I hate people like you. I despise them. People like you always blame things on others, never acknowledging their own responsibility.” 

Ii-chan as a character who is introduced as harmless, and passive, never making any choices until we are shown explicitly in the second book that he is not. It’s with his choices in the second book that his true character is revealed.

2. Subverts Expectations

Though for Ii-chan it should really be “avoids any and all expectations.” The Zaregoto is a series that continually asks if the actions of its protagonist are meaningless or not. If any action that Iichan takes effects the outcome of the story in any way. 

In Strangulation Romanticist, Ii-chan gets involved with a group of friends who all end up dead or in prison by the end of the story. The central question is what role did Iichan play. Here are some things Ii-chan does in the book, meet with a serial killer and then lie to cover up a police investigation and a private investigator tracking him down giving him time to kill more people, destroys police evidence of another investigation, taunts one girl who murdered another girl into killing herself to atone, knew another murder that was going to take place and did nothing, and then taunts a second girl who wanted to kill herself into killing herself who only survived because the police talked her off a ledge. 

“Charges? What charges?”  “Falsifying information in regards to the Emoto case, encouraging Aoii’s suicide, not to mention concealment of evidence, plus withholding information and having that little rendezvous with Atemiya. Normally they’d have your ass for that, which I’m sure you’re well aware of, but I’ll take care of it for you. Althought, I suppose even if I didn’t Kunagisa probably would...”  (Zaregoto Volume 2)

Therefore, Iichan is someone who acts but doesn’t really face any real consequences for his actions, and that’s because he’s a master of avoidance. 

In psychology, avoidance/avoidant coping or escape coping is a maladaptive coping mechanism characterized by the effort to avoid dealing with a stressor. Coping refers to behaviors that attempt to protect oneself from psychological damage.

Iichan is subverting a lot of expectations. He is the protagonist, but the story is not about him. He goes through all of these stories, but he doesn’t ever seem to grow or change from them. He’s a detective, but he never really solves the case or even cares that much about reaching the real truth. He’s written to be a subversion of everything the main character of a detective novel should be. 

However, Iichan is also very aware of how a detective should act and deliberately playing with and subverting those tropes. Not only does he subvert the expectations of the reader, but also of the characters around him. He is avoidant, in that way it means he avoids any kind of contfrontation. 

I didn’t hate losing. I hated compettition. I was thoroughly put off by the idea of vying for others over something. I hated fighting as well and thus never made friends. 

This is a line that gets reused for Kumagawa as well. 

Which helps to illustrate the difference between them. Let’s say there is a problem, Kumagawa will charge head first at the problem and it will explode in his face, and Iichan will do everything in his capacity to never confront the problem or deal with it in any way possible. 

Iichan is deliberately aware and sensitive to the expectations of the other people around him, and he feels like he will always be too inferior to fulfill them so he doesn’t even bother to try. 

“I have been doing so.” I said. “But you know I have limits, too. It seems like everyone and anyone harbors some sort of expectations from me, and of course I would love to meet their expectations, too, but I cannot meet the expectations if I lack the capability. So to have someone say you failed my expectations is nothing but bothersome.” 

Zaregoto Volume 4. 

The way he avoids the expectations of others is rendering himself as ambiguous as possible, which is where we get to the next part. 

3. Lying, Liar who Lies

Iichan is an unreliable narrator who never tells the truth in a straightforward manner, and even lies for half of the second volume. However, there’s more than that, there’s a deliberate trick to the lies he tells. 

Iichan is someone who defines himself as ambiguously as possible. He acts like someone who others cannot possibly understand. Despite narrating from the first person, Iichan is only comfortable when he is not known by anyone. Iichan acts like someone who is barely present in his own story. 

Answers have no real point. They’re vague and ambiguos and unsound, and things that are fine that way. In fact, they’re better. Causing real change is a role that should be left up to the true “chosen ones” outstanding individuals like that scarlet Mankind’s Greatest, and the Blue Savant, it was never my responsibility.  It was no job for a common loser. For the comic sidekick.

Zaregoto volume 2. 

Once again we see the contrast between Kumagawa and Iichan, if Kumagawa is a character who shows how strong and capable one loser can be, then Iichan often waxes poetically in his narrative about how weak and incapable he is. If Kumagawa is a good loser, than Iichan is a sore one. 

Iichan defines himself as ambiguous on purpose to avoid responsibility for his actions. In less fancy words, if nobody can understand Iichan than nobody can call him on his shit. That’s his goal, essentially. He doesn’t want to work hard to change, or be confronted about any of his actions, because for him merely the act of living takes all of his effort to tread water without making any progress. 

Avoidance is a trauma response, Iichan spends all of his time distancing himself from his own actions rather than confronting any of it. However, Iichan is more complicated than that because Iichan’s ambiguity has another side effect making him out to be something that he is not. 

“Just by being there, you startle others, just by being there, you make people lose their grip on themselves.. ther’re a bunch of people like that. You can’t relax when you’re with them, it annoys you, things don’t go as planned, people like that, you know, they’re even scientifically explainable. In other words the missing part. Because the missing part for the observer ends up looking the same, it feels like the person is having their ineptitude pointed out at them, and it startles them [...] You’re just like everyone, and that picks at people’s subonscious, that’s why you’re aimless. And yet you still manage to come out on top. [...]”

Zaregoto Volume 3

All of these things Jun points out in this scene are Jungian ideas of the trickster. Iichan is an inferior person who seems to exist to point out the inferiorities in other people, and use it to play tricks on them. While viewing him as this role of the trickster, Aikawa is not really treating him like a person. (Aikawa’s very dramatic). 

Which is where Iichan finally gets his trick. It’s a trick in two parts. He constantly underplays his own agency, while at the same time overplaying his suffering.

In other words, while insisting that he is the least improtant person on earth, Iichan at the same time hems and haws like the main character of a tragedy. IIichan wants people to empathize with his suffering, and he wants to be important, but he doesn’t want any of the responsibility of being important. He doesn’t want to take any degree of control of himself or others, so he tries to balance himself between these two conflicting ideas. 

1) He is not a protagonist, and therefore the events in the story have nothing to do with him.  2) He is the main character of a tragedy. The world is centered around him, he is someone special and important, and that makes him suffer, but he takes no agency in the role. 

Doing this he gets the best of both worlds. He gets to always be involved and important to others, while at the same time uninvolved and is never held accountable for his actions. He’s never challenged or forced to grow or change in any way. 

These are the two lies that Iichan tells, and those lies form a narrative. Iichan is lying to give a narrative to his own trauma, and therefore try to extract some kind of meaning from it. 

4. Inherent Themes of Nihilism

We once again return to the sacred image. 

Iichan is a moral nihilist. He’s on the elft side of that image. 

Moral nihilism (also known as ethical nihilism) is the meta-ethical view that nothing is morally right or wrong.  It is built on three principles. 

1. There are no moral features in this world; nothing is right or wrong. 2. Therefore, no moral judgments are true; however, 3. Our sincere moral judgments try, but always fail, to describe the moral features of things.

Iichan’s view is basically that of, if there is no meaning to this world then any attempt to define meaning is pointless. He (let’s say it again class) usually uses this as an attempt to evade any and all responsibility for his actions. 

Iichan doesn't want other people to look at him, he doesn't want to be at fault when things go wrong, but he also wants to be important. So he's continually on a tight rope walk with those two very conflicting desires.

So basically Iichan sees no value in his own actions. He sees no value in the world. He doesn't really have any set of morals, except that he thinks murder is bad. Except sometimes he doesn't really care if certain people are murderers. Zerozaki is a murderer and Iichan hates him but doesn’t actually make any sincere attempts to stop him. Kunagisa commits murder in volume 4/5 and Iichan goes out of his way to cover it up. He apparently doesn’t consider goading a girl into suicide to be a form of murder.  But at the same time he's so desperately searching for meaning, because he wants to feel fulfilled.

Iichan thinks that talent and genius are perhaps one thing that could give the world meaning. His best friend is a super genius, and he kind of clings to her and is jealous of her because she's someone special. See he thinks there are people whose lives have meaning despite being a pretty blanket nihilist, but because he's not talented he's not one of those people. Talent is something that could possibly give life meaning but being outside of the talented people it makes no difference to him he can only gaze at it from afar

Iichan is someone who is constantly downplaying his own meaning, while at the same time trying to find some meaning vicariously through others, like Aikawa and Kunagisa who he considers to be the real heroes of the world. Despite Iichan insisting there’s no meaning, he also has an attraction to narrative view of the world. Which is something that you know... has meaning, because stories are written with intent and purpose by an author. 

In the sixth volume there’s a concept called “The Story” which one character belives that everything is pre-destined, like it’s all some pre-written story. Therefore while you can make small changes in your own actions it never effects the big picture in any way. 

This is once again a very convenient idea for Iichan, who avoids responsibility to believe in. He’s very attracted by this idea because it takes control out of his hands and means his own actions aren’t really his fault. 

To be honest, this must be one of the most boring conversations to be listening in on. It had gone so far into the conceptual, that even for myself, participating in the conversation, the words of the man with the fox mask seemed as hazy and illusory as a dream. You could say I do not understand what he is saying. However, then why.  Then why does what this person says strike so deep? Why does it resonate?  [...] Then, no.  I do not want any part of such importance. I do not want anything to do with the core of the story. 

Here we go with Iichan’s double negative, he denies having any role or agency in the story and yet at the same time believes that such a thing as the story exists because it means to some extent his actions are out of his control because he can’t accept that they are. 

Is Iichan’s role in the story ultimately meaningless? No. There are always clear and distinct consequences for his actions. In the same volume (6 - cannibal magical) where the concept of the story are first introduced that everything is predetermined and you can’t change the big picture, the events of the story disprove that assertion.

Iichan is given like, a million warnings not to go to a lab. Aikawa tells him not to go to a lab because she has a bad feeling about it. The literal assassin sent to that lab talks to Iichan and says “Yeah, I was sent here to kill people.” Another person who was in the same situation just walks away from the problem. Iichan sees the assassin going out to kill people in the middle of the night and just chooses to... go to sleep.

Then he wakes up to everyone dead in the morning. The point being Iichan had a million chances to avoid this situation, takes absolutely none of them, and then acts like this was a completely unavoidable fate. He hems and haws about having no choices, but he’s clearly given choices, he just doesn’t take them, or makes exclusively bad ones. 

Iichan wants to avoid consequences by not choosing, however the choice to not choose is still a choice in itself. Everything is a choice. Even avoidance is a choice. Which is why Iichan’s actions do actually have meaning, just not in the way he wants them to. He’s not a special person, and he’s not anyone extraordinary, but he is someone who has to face the consequences of his actions no matter how many narrative tricks he pulls to avoid them. 

The actual trick of Iichan’s story is that he really is the protagonist, he just doesn’t want to be. 

[phoebehalliwell]

I was wondering if you had a piece of writing advice for me? I've been working on kind of. A general outline of how I'd like to write a spin-off series about the next gen and I'm brainstorming an arc, but I feel like it's obvious that it would end with the character surviving and I don't really know how to fix it beyond ACTUALLY killing them off, but then I have to find a way to revive them which is. A whole mess, tbh, and not what I want, so I was wondering if you have any advice?

Okay so i did get a lil lost here in the question imma answer to the best of my ability but if i totally missed the eight ball here u can also message me thru the messaging feature But Okay so what i got here is it's a it's like you've got a protagonist and the issue is it's like Too Obvious that they're not gonna die, which kinda blows. like if u put them in positions of peril the audience yeah whatever 🙄 they'll be fine they're not gonna die and that sorta uh. ruins the suspense. & we don't want that. so ur proposing an alternative where u do kill em off like ha! gotcha! but then u wanna supernatural it and bring them back bc they are well like ur lead and u need them back. so i'm gonna ramble. listen there's this whole thing about "subverting expectations" that got everyone's head stuck up their own asses for the past couple years where you're supposed to have this like Gotcha! but like. u don't need to subvert expectations. a good story shouldn't be predictable, but there should be like. a lil trail of breadcrumbs that'll all add up in the end bc that's what feels rewarding. so to kill or not to kill. first off, just wanna say, don't like. like uhh everyone read divergent spoilers for divergent 3 tris dies as we all know but it's like. it's such a bad death. i still make fun of it to this day. tris needs to complete this super important task, but it will expose her to the death serum. now, tris logics that she's immune to every other serum, she's probably gonna be immune to the death serum. the counterargument is that it's a death serum it could literally just be like normal garden variety poison. so that's our set up; tris might die. what's our payoff? she goes, get death serumed, almost dies, then fights it off! and then an evil doctor rolls in and shoots her point blank killing her. it sucks. so what im basically saying is Don't Do That. there's no satisfaction, no pay off, in escaping the death we were prepared for only to die stupid not 90 seconds later. it sucks. so don't so that if you're gonna kill off your lead character. but you don't have to kill off your lead character! sometimes there r other ways to build suspense even if your audience knows the lead will not die. you can have them have to choose between two shitty options; what part of their moral code will your character be forced to forsake in order to save the day? if that's too much of like, a downer or a moral quandary you can also oceans eight it in which there's never really any major conflict or ethical dilemma as much as there's just a really sick ass heist. if your character's adventure is so well adventurous with a bunch of fun twist and clever saves your audience doesn't even really need to worry whether they'll live or die bc their attention is focused on how are they gonna get out of this one and what could possibly be next. for that specific type of story, reverse engineering is gonna be ur right hand man i would definitely recommend thinking about the most batshit way to solve something and then keep adding on issues that eliminate every other logics option (e.g. the character has to climb up the bookcase to reach the chandelier to swing across it to the window to break out. why can't they use the door? it's locked. why can't they pick the lock? it's magic. why do they have to climb the bookcase? can't use anything for a ladder et cetera et cetera). but back to murder. more specifically, revival. advantages of this being charmed: people die and come to life all the die the sisters even have a catalogue of how many times they've died on the wiki. the revival usually involves some time travel, so u could do that. but it's also charmed and in charmed we have magic, so we could use that to bring the protagonist back from the dead, we just need to establish that first so it doesn't feel like a retcon. since ur already mapping this story out (mad props btw) u know how it's gonna end u know how they're gonna die. so, my recommendation would be to place your deus ex machina early on in the story and something super small and inconsequential. it's best to put it in a collection of evidence we think is just you adding flavor or worldbuilding or whatever. the later you add it, the more the audience is looking for clues and foreshadowing, the easier it is to pick up on, but if you keep your breadcrumbs super tiny, they can slip by almost unnoticed until you need them at the end. so this is a lot of text i hope ive answered your question in my ramblings but once again feel free to message me or send in another ask if i indeed Did Not Answer The Question

[jadenvargen]

Oh my god mood @ur opinion on kny!! Like obv ppl like it n i dont mean anything bad by it but i cant get into it at all 😭 i started watching bc the character designs were fun n i also i knew id love zenitsu but the show its like........ «heres the recipe of shonen follow this robotically» like i cant see any heart in it at all it and i kept watching hoping itd get better but kdjdjdjd. Love zenitsu tho ill admit but everyone else is 😪

totally agree!! i’m genuinely happy people like it ofc good for them but i can’t put my finger on what makes it so... cold and heartless for me? it follows the shonen formula like a script too but without any of the emotions attached... i don’t mind formulaic shows(hello, yugioh) but like... o__o it just... fails at it too? i feel at least:

like obviously tanjiro’s family gets killed because that happens in shonens, but that doesnt NEED to be bad! we estavlished tanjiro cares about them and theyre all he has but then... when they die obv hes shocked and upset but... in the long-term story wise it bears as much effect on his character as if his cattle had fallen off a cliff. he doesn’t grieve. he isn’t that affected by it. and at first i was like omg, he’s masking it for nezuko but he’s gonna break down- ans he NEVER DOES?

i figured like when he went to the city he was gonna be in awe of the lights and lament his family isnt there to see it or smth, but NOTHING? and then i thought “ah! hes going to order street food! then were going to get a heart-wrenching scene of him slurping noodles and tearing up thinking about how his family couldnt enjoy this, or maybe the taste reminds him of his familys home cooking and the meals he shared with everyone! and now nezuko cant even eat it even if shes with him! wow!”

but then... nothing happens... at all... and its not even “subverting expectations” its just the show does NOTHING to sell me on any emotion. his sister has lost all personality and turned into a rabid animal for gods sake and were still supposed to find the existensial horror of her behaving like a cutesy dog funny... IM RAMBLING AGAIN BUT REALLY IM JUST.. what happened to this show??

[casually-inlove]

aah i agree im vry disappointed in this chapter ! like its good like usual, but its kind of a let down after the last 5 chapters... ht rly exposed himself minutes before, and comedy aside, MGS answered him by ignoring him, and then saying "were not friends, were not as close as you think we are". it must have been hurtful for HT, its basically a rejection of recognizing HT vulnerabilities. and its totally In character for MGS to say this, so im not disappointed by it 1/?

i mean HT lay his heart down for Mo to see and theyve known each other for 15 DAYS, its too soon for anybody and especially for Mo who have mistrust problems to respond in the same way ? so running away and deflecting the declaration is cool, i wasnt excepting a "ill never abandon u!!" lol. but then HT being cool with this rejection and having a slapstick comedy just after doesnt feel right. mb show HT swallowing and being disheartened, and then put his usual facade and only then have comedy 2/?

would have been good, bc we would have known "oh ht is actually hurt by MGS reaction but doesnt know how to say it, so he plays it cool and change the subject bc hes still not at ease with being vulnerable". a realistic situation would have been "ht tried to be vulnerable but it was too soon, too much for mo who rejected him, so it confirmed ht biased thinking that showing vulnerabilities is bad and it will prevent ht to be vulnerable in front of someone in the near future". 3/?

i mean it could have been a nice although sad conclusion for this mini-arc, especially since ht have been grieving (?) his mother just this morning. a little step back, and then smth else happen and cause ht to crack completely but then mo is able to respond present and its a step forward. ok im daydreaming but that would have been climatic lol. instead this..ah i dont know i feel cheated, i know its ox' work but still haha ! like when they do an abrupt change of scene after an emotional page 4/

its a trick ox use often and after 300 chapters it feels old n cheap. when u engage in a emotional scene, u cant just do "oops i change my mind!!" and put slapstick comedy or ignore totally what just happened and dont have a progression. u have to stay on this road : u cant put traumatizing backgrounds and mafia affairs and mature problems (kidnapping, mother being threatening into prostitution,etc) n just.. not stick with it and making ur characters not traumatized by it and just 'lol comedy'.

sry im kind of monopolizing ur askbox lol, i guess im kind of frustrated ! it just the last chapters were so good and it was a while since ox use this cheap trick of not going through an emotional scene that i kind of forgot how terrible they were at handling transition between drama and comedy. theyre a good artist all in all (or i wouldnt be this disappointed!!), but they have this failing in their writing an it drives me nuts each time lmao. haa i hope next chapter will be better...5/5

Hell yeah, DEFINITELY, that sums up my thoughts. Also, you don't have to apologize, it was an interesting read and I can tell that you feel strongly about it. While I can’t say that I’m flat-out disappointed, as I wrote in my original post, I’m definitely feeling lukewarm and indifferent about the recent ch.

OX touched upon a few serious matters a couple of chapters before: namely She Li’s fucked up goading and the way it unsettled He Tian -- unsettled in no joking manner as follows from his reaction. Then we get He Tian swearing to beat up anyone who dares bully Mo, and the whole profound monologue from the previous chapter. Just as you say, He Tian truly laid himself bare there. One could argue that He Tian listed the reasons he was enamoured with Mo, or one could argue that he subtly commented on the milieu he grew up in, or one can even read it as He Tian admitting/reflecting on his flaws out loud. There are many ways to construe this scene, each of them is extremely meaningful. Not to mention it took HT visible effort to say these things out loud.

The problem which both you and I noticed is that OX left this mini-arc/mini-subplot unresolved. Instead, they abruptly switched to comedic relief. Much like you, I wasn’t expecting a big reaction from Mo -- no grand verbal declarations at very least. What I expected was a panel (maybe a close up of Mo’s face as I mentioned in my original post) that indicated he actually HEARD what HT told him, that it gave Mo some food for thought. 

As you mention, Mo getting disconcerted and doing the tsun-tsun escape is fairly in character for him. Still, a panel like this would have been very welcome to emphasize his confusion and to justify him not gracing the other boy with an answer, ignoring HT showing his underbelly (which is something that doesn't come easy for him, as we readers know). Okay, sure, OX handled it differently this chapter -- we get Mo silently running away and blurting out the first comeback he could think of. No problem. It works to show that HT’s words had an effect on him, albeit it’s much less pronounced, than, say, the Aquarium scene -- again one would have to wonder why: HT’s “don’t abandon me” is just as strong, if not stronger, than “I’m afraid you’ll forget me”, so it follows that Mo should have been just as affected.

The problem is the way an emotionally charged moment quickly fizzled out into comedy. As you said, Mo blurting out “we are not friends, we are not familiar enough, so I don’t care what you think (of me)!” SHOULD have hit HT harder. Just minutes before we had HT being genuinely disturbed by the idea of someone looking to intentionally hurt Mo, seeking physical comfort, being disquieted by the idea of getting abandoned and losing someone he likes, confessing that he admires the other boy -- yet when Mo utters yet another curt rejection of sorts, we are not shown HT’s reaction, which, logically, should have been there. 

And all of that emotional build-up is cheapened by an accidental dick slap comedy. 

Indeed, showing HT being hurt (disquieted? deflated?) and then putting on a cool guy mask, and ONLY then switching to a slapstick humour would have been more appropriate. It wouldn’t have taken a big or an overly dramatic scene either -- just, IDK, show HT’s eyes widening, or his throat clicking, or his posture slumping, anything to indicate that Mo’s words affected him -- that the whole thing mattered to him. Otherwise, it leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth: “so Imma confess to the person I like and swear to protect them and beg them to put up with me -- oh! forget anything serious that I said, Imma touch some dick now”. While I don't have an issue with comedy coming into focus again, I do wish it hadn't been this abrupt. Had there been a better transition between these scenes, there wouldn't be this "lol jk" vibe that I’m getting.

So yeah, I, too, feel a little cheated. OX certainly has an issue with drama-comedy transitions, which are sort of hit-and-miss for me. Sometimes they work well to alleviate the grave mood, other times they appear to be out of place. The recent chapter is the latter case. Dangling a possibility of climatic resolution for the subplot and then intentionally subverting it just doesn’t work in favour of the plot here. It cheapened the emotional part and made the comedy feel much less fun for me. Of course, no one says that writing is an easy task. Plenty of mangakas, for instance, work with writers to strengthen their script and plots, so it’s challenging when a single person is responsible for both drawing and planning the story. OX is undoubtedly doing a tremendous job. Still, I wish they wouldn’t stick to using the old trick this monastically because it's becoming a trite writing device and works against them on occasion. It’s totally fine to keep the comic light-hearted yet it’s not good to ignore the needed dramatic development.