#she's employed again 🥹

[calmlb]

It’s been clear that the Tanizakis aren’t siblings from the very beginning

here’s some evidence now that it’s been confirmed canon…

everyone who’s read irl Tanizaki’s book knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves

BUT just because the Tanizakis aren’t siblings doesn’t mean you can’t feel uncomfortable about them. if you feel uncomfortable, GOOD. that’s exactly what they want

the Tanizakis, Mori— they all use these disturbing ruses to disarm or distract people in order to protect themselves, or to accomplish their goals. this is a writing device that asagiri commonly employs as a way to parallel the irl literature (it’s actually ingenious)

there are 4 main indicators that have always made it clear to me that Junichiro & Naomi are not siblings:

1. most obviously— their character designs. Harukawa is extremely intentional with character designs, & she very intentionally made Naomi & Junichiro look nothing alike

their eye shapes are purposely different

their color palettes are contrasting

even their differing styles of clothing have meaning

this was all done so that the audience could PLAINLY see that they’re not related— so that WE know that they’re lying when they say they ARE related

2. how the people around them respond to their act.

the general reaction is “don’t question it”— which is exactly what they want. “be distracted by how uncomfortable you feel so that you look away from what we’re hiding” (this is likely a protective measure)

3. most importantly, this is meant to parallel irl Tanizaki’s book “Naomi,” where the main character Joji picks up Naomi to raise her into his ideal woman, but since she's so young (& a minor) they call each other cousins (Joji makes no sexual advances on young Naomi btw)

however, his plan backfires because when Naomi gets older & they get married, she flips the script on him & manipulates HIM so that he's under her thumb (which is why bsd Tanizaki is at a domineering Naomi's mercy). Joji let her have her way because of his masochistic tendencies

4. lastly is the emphasis that Asagiri and the Tanizakis themselves put on calling each other siblings.

over & over, it’s “my brother this” & “my sister that”

like they’re desperately trying to convince us that it’s true (“don’t let your lying eyes deceive you”)

here are just a few of many examples from the light novels…

again, if you’ve read “Naomi” you knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves

just like if you’ve read irl Mori’s works, it’s clear that bsd Mori isn’t a pedophile

just like if you’ve read No Longer Human you know that Dazai’s an unreliable narrator. he makes you think he’s a bad person bc he believes he’s a bad person, but those around him see him differently (btw this doesn’t mean he’s never done anything “bad,” though bsd isn’t about morality— but that’s another discussion)

anyway, i’m so excited for the Tanizakis backstory to be revealed so that we can better understand why they use this defense!!

also let this be a reminder to READ THE LITERATURE if you’re able to!! even reading synopses & analyses of the coordinating books makes bsd make much more sense 🥹

reminder that this how you’re supposed to react while reading bsd:

also, if you’re interested in a post explaining how Mori isn’t a pedo, i wrote this analysis on twt. OR you can read this document that one of my moots sent me (remember: analyzing a character does NOT mean you condone any actions they may or may not commit!)

[nathaslosthershit]

Oh Brother(s)! (LS2) (Leclerc!Reader)

Logan Sargeant x Leclerc!Reader (Part 2 to Red, White, and Williams' Blue but can be read as a standalone) Summary: All Logan Sargeant wanted was a nice and productive conversation with the love of his life’s three annoyingly protective older brothers, was that too much to ask for? Request: Hi Natalia! Finished reading: Red, White, and Williams' Blue (LS2) (Note to self: my official comfort fic🥹), is it okay if I could request a part 2 to it? (If you do part 2’s)? Nothing specific just maybe seeing how they’re relationship is going? (You can add whatever you want to it, but that’s my idea as of now) Thank you!!! A/N: Its my fic and I get to do whatever I want with it so I say Logan Sargeant is happy and employed. I miss him so bad. This was also such a sweet request because I too really like that fic. 

“What are we going to do with him?” Charles asked his brothers, keeping his eyes on their victim sister’s boyfriend. The three Leclerc brothers were standing menacingly with their arms crossed in the living room.

Logan sat in a chair placed right in front of them. They said he wasn’t allowed to stand, and they weren’t going to sit. They didn’t want Logan thinking there was equal power between him and the brothers.

What family was he trying to marry into?

Right, that's why he was here, he came to ask Enzo, Arthur, and Charles for their sister’s hand in marriage. It felt so medieval but they were fiercely protective of her and he didn’t want to give them reason to object at the wedding. 

“Can we at least turn the lights on?” Logan begged.

“If the lights are on you won’t be scared.” Arthur replied.

“No, I think as long as it's the three of you I am talking to, I'll be frightened.” Logan didn’t actually think this, he had plenty of normal, stress free, calm conversations with them but he knew they would get an ego boost at hearing ‘how scared he was’. 

“So, you want to marry our baby sister?” Enzo asked. 

They keep asking that question as if they don’t know thats exactly why he is there.

“Considering I started this conversation off with ‘I want to ask your sister to marry me’ I think that is a safe assumption to make.”

“And you haven’t asked our maman? Why would we say yes when you don’t have the decency to go to the matriarch?” Questioned Arthur.

Logan had to come up with a good excuse for that.

“I had… I wanted to ask you all first, you are her brothers and she respects and cares what you all think. Plus I knew I’d have an easier time asking Pascale than you three.”

“Drop the attitude and maybe we will say yes.” Charles commented.

This was ridiculous, he had been there 45 minutes and still had not gotten an answer. 

“How can we trust someone who doesn’t understand why we are protective of our sister?” Enzo spoke up.

“Of course I understand but this is-”

“A perfectly reasonable response to the question you asked us.” Arthur stuck up his nose as he said this, pissing off Logan even more. All he wanted to do was marry this girl.

“But if you guys keep speaking over me than-”

“Now you are trying to silence us? We are only looking out for our baby sister and you are getting mad?” He could tell that the brothers were mostly teasing him, but he had officially run out of patience. 

“Okay! Thats enough. All three of you sit down on the couch so I can say my speech.” Logan commanded, getting up from his chair as he pointed to where he wanted the brothers to go.

Surprised, and a little intrigued at the outburst, the three sat down with nothing more than a few angry huffs.

“You all have known me as the man who is dating your sister for three years. In all of that time, was I ever rude or disrespectful to any of you?” 

The three monegasques shook their heads.

“Was I ever rude to your sister? Did I ever treat her with anything but the utmost love and care?” 

The brothers shook their heads again.

“So, I have always been nothing but kind and respectful. I have never given any of you a reason to not like nor trust me. I have been faithful and nothing but loving towards your sister. I have a career and a well paying job so you all have no reason to think she wouldn’t be taken care of. What can I do to just have you give me a simple answer?” Logan finally took a breath. He had a better speech prepared, one that had less yelling, but he didn’t have the patience anymore.

The three Leclercs stayed silent. Logan began to sweat. Maybe the yelling wasn’t the most helpful method of asking them for their permission.

He then let out a breath as the three in front of him began to smile.

It was a ‘we are totally fucking with you and are amused by your outburst’ smile.

Fucking hell, he knew it and still let them get in his head.

“Sorry Logan, we couldn’t resist. Had to see where your patience ran out for future reference now that you are a part of the family” Charles laughed while standing up to pat Logan on the back. 

It took a second to register what he said.

“So- so you all agree?” Logan asked, not sure if they were still fucking with him.

“Yes, mate, we knew you were here to ask our permission to marry her the moment you asked to meet up with us.” Enzo replied.

Behind the American, he heard feet approaching and based on the fact he saw all the color drain from the brothers’ face, he knew who it was.

All of the brothers felt their stomach drop as their sister walked into the room. She had heard everything! They had ruined their baby sister’s proposal.

The three boys began to freak out, their made up excuses overlapping with each other making it hard to hear a single word. 

Logan ran up to go hug her, spinning her around in excitement. This made everyone else go still. Why was he not upset? They had just ruined his big moment by being overprotective idiots.

At the confusion clearly displayed on their faces, their sister spoke up, “Logan may have already asked me a month ago, we just couldn’t see you in person until now so we waited to say anything.”

“I also just needed a little confirmation that you three wouldn’t kill me for proposing before I got permission from you guys. Although, to be fair, I did ask Pascale before I did anything.” Logan said

“So it was all a lie? You didn’t want to ask us first because we are the most important people?” Arthur asked.

“Are you guys serious? He has no reason to ask you three idiots first. Or at all! You are overprotective babies.” Their sister answered. 

As the Leclerc boys all spoke over each other for the second time, arguing with their sister's comment, Logan kissed his fiancé, the two blissfully unaware of what the brothers were screaming about.

And far too in love to care.

Part 3 (the wedding episode) coming soon!

[siilvan]

navi. we've talked enough about jealous!makarov. but what about jealous!petra?????🥹🤭 poor girl won't even know how to feel at that strange feeling on her chest when she sees him casually talking business with another woman, i wanna hear your thoughts🫡🤍

ohhhhh jealous!petra?? i haven’t even considered that… 🫢🩷

i think it’s probably easier to show, not tell… just pretend we’re a little further down the storyline 🤭 as always, this drabble is not indicative of what’s to come, it’s just based in the bloodsport-verse teehee

(and by drabble, i mean 1.6k... some jealousy with a happy ending and mildly spicy stuff BTC, enjoy <3)

мое небо/moye nebo – my heaven

you don't consider yourself a jealous person. sure, you've been jealous in the past, but who hasn't? it's a natural emotion, like anger, joy, sadness... there's no point in pretending like you never feel it.

except for right now.

you're eyeing the man of the hour from across the sizeable terrace, your back pressed against the pillar behind you as you watch him converse with a woman you faintly recognize. milena romanova. one of konni group's employers, stationed in vondel.

their words don't reach your ears due to the distance and the soldiers idly chatting nearby, but still, your gaze narrows at the pair. makarov is all business— standing tall, stone-faced, hands clasped neatly behind his back. romanova is far more relaxed, one hand on the railing and the other wrapped around the stem of her glass, the burgundy wine nearly spilling over the edge when she laughs at her own comment on something.

you should have expected a party to be lively. there's a healthy mixture of soldiers guarding the compound and government officials conversing with mercenaries, swapping stories and intel that you should be keeping an ear out for.

no, no. none of that catches your attention the way they do.

makarov's expression shifts, a hint of a smile showing on his face for a moment, before it drops again. romanova seems to catch it almost as quickly as you do, because her hand leaves the railing to gesture while she says something along the lines of, "i knew it."

"for special forces, you are not very subtle." a voice perks up from your side. you jolt, letting out a sharp gasp before turning to the person next to you. warden stares back from behind her mask, her head cocked to the side.

you shake your head, looking away from her again. "i have no idea what you're talking about, garanina."

she hums, following your gaze back to the pair. you both watch as makarov moves, crossing his arms loosely and leaning back against the railing. he's facing you, with his head turned to focus on the woman he's talking to.

an unwelcomed feeling blooms deep in the pit of your stomach, a cold burn that has your eyes narrowing and brows knitting together. on any other day, you'd have no qualms about putting her in cuffs or delivering a bullet through her skull. she's the enemy as much as the man next to her is. however... you need to be on your best behavior.

there's a whisper in the back of your thoughts, a voice telling you that his attention should be on you. his eyes, on you. his smile, as rare as it is, directed at you.

"jealousy, is it?" warden asks, pulling a frustrated scoff from you.

"shouldn't you be doing something?" you mutter, dragging your gaze back to her. she shrugs, prompting you to continue. "well, you're wrong. it's not jealousy."

the stifled laugher is audible even through the thick fabric. "romanova is employed because she's loyal to commander makarov and the cause. he keeps you around despite your loyalties being to the opposite side." she lowers her voice, eyes crinkling behind the mask. "don't get cocky, but remember who he chooses to have here."

warden gives you a nod before stepping past you, heading elsewhere and leaving you alone once more. you blink at her as she disappears into the crowd, your head slowly dropping after you lose sight of her, eyeing a scuff on the floor several feet away.

that feeling climbs up your torso like a vine, winding around you from the inside and branching out to every corner of your body and mind. you lift a hand and hold your throat in a gentle grip, the air suddenly seeming heavy, the vines choking your lungs for every last drop of oxygen as the air itself tries to suffocate you. the thorns dig into your brain, piercing, displacing the reassurance and injecting it with pure poison; thoughts of them.

his hands on her, pressing her down into his bed, touching her, holding her, whispering words of praise, clothes abandoned in scattered piles on the floor, bodies flush, moving in perfect sync—

the cool feeling of leather practically tears you from the mental scene. a thumb presses into the spot below your lip as a finger hooks under your chin and forces your head to lift, meeting a pair of dark eyes, familiar, heat persisting within the pools of deep bistre.

it isn't until another hand is placed on your shoulder that you take in a breath, slow and ragged, and realize how you must have looked. your heart is pounding against your ribcage, throat sore from breathing so rapidly, your chest painfully tight.

makarov says nothing as he stares you down, his expression unreadable as always, making you stiffen and fight the urge to shrink under his scrutiny.

"come," he murmurs, barely audible over the voices of the partygoers and soldiers all around you, as he releases your chin and guides you to walk alongside him, his hand sliding down to rest at the small of your back.

you keep your gaze low, focusing on the comforting warmth – too comforting, your rational side insists – that his touch brings, creeping up your spine and chasing away the cold that built its home inside of you. makarov marches you towards an interior door, his hand shifting again as his arm circles around your waist and tucks you into his side, the crowds you're passing through dispersing as soon as they see him approach.

there is some sick sense of pride that swells in your chest, replacing the heavy weight that sat there moments ago as people glance in your direction. it's like he's parading you around, holding you close in a public declaration.

that is, until you reach the door and he pushes it open, ushering you inside. he lets go of you once you're past the threshold and closes the door behind himself; you perk up when you hear the lock click softly, your gaze flitting to him in the dimly-lit parlor room.

"what happened?" he asks, breaking the silence.

you lean against the wall and huff, still shaking off the adrenaline that found its way into your veins. "nothing. just got overwhelmed, i guess."

he moves to stand in front of you, trapping you in your spot. "you're lying. tell me the truth." he mutters, jaw tensing.

"it's nothing, really," you pause, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. you miss the way his eyes carefully track the movement, nerves setting in as you try to search for a believable lie. "any of those people would have killed me if they caught wind of who i am and i freaked out, that's all—"

"petra." he says, succinct.

"i was jealous, okay?" the words escape before you can stop yourself, tumbling out so quickly that you flinch at it. even makarov is struck by the admission, brows lifting for just a moment. "i saw you talking to that woman, clearly having a good time, and i got fucking jealous. happy now?" you continue, the truth continuing to spill out like water after the splintering dam finally breaks.

you two stand there for what feels like minutes, locked in a staring contest that neither person is willing to break. you're not sure what's worse: the embarrassment setting your skin ablaze, or the lack of response.

you try to work up the courage to speak, to cut the tension in the air, but you're left speechless. you don't dare to move, even when the sound of gloves being pulled off and tossed aside reaches your ears.

there's no hesitation in the way makarov closes the distance between you, his mouth crashing onto yours as his hands fly to your waist, pulling your body closer to his. the shock that courses through you lasts only a second before your arms are looping around his neck, a noise that's as much a soft breath as it is a groan escaping him when you respond in kind.

the kiss is a mix of teeth and tongue, desperate and hungry as his hands roam, one coming up to cup your face as his thumb caresses your skin in an uncharacteristically gentle act, the other smoothly gliding past the hem of your shirt and flattening against the curve of your back.

skin on skin for the first time.

blunt nails dig crescent-shaped marks into your skin when your fingers skim down his chest, sliding under his suit jacket and toying with the buttons holding his dress shirt closed. the subtle reaction is all the motivation you need— you pop the bottom button open and keen when he presses himself closer to you. you move up the line painstakingly slow, smiling into the kiss when you graze his skin and feel him tense up under your touch.

your fingers immediately go to explore his newly-exposed skin as soon as the final button is undone, nails lightly scraping along the ridges of his abs and forcing a small shiver down his spine.

he tears himself away shortly thereafter, leaving you breathless as a needy whine passes your swollen lips, earning a low chuckle in reply.

"does that answer your question?" he murmurs, his eyes meeting yours after they flutter open again.

"what question?" you mumble, feeling dizzy, the only thing keeping your head from spinning being his skin on yours.

makarov indulges you when you send him a pleading look, pressing his lips to yours again, softer this time. it doesn't last long before he's separating just enough to whisper something into the kiss.

"no one compares to you, мое небо."

[fullmetalscullyy]

For a made-up fic title, Royai of course:

Oh, smile so softly

ohhhhh this would be so 🥺 right off the bat 🥹it's all my brain will think about. again, its written in note form as i've thought of it

roy gifting riza something - something she once revealed to him she enjoyed in her childhood - a book, a story, a poem, etc. and roy thinks it sad that she refers to Her Childhood as before. as long gone. despite the fact she's still there. or she still should be. he knows she's old beyond her years.

and so he spots something. which she once mentioned from Before. and manages to talk the kindly shopkeeper into keeping it back for him until he saves up enough money to pay for it to purchase

he smiles at it. the corners of his mouth twitch upwards ever so slightly as he gazes upon what he knows, deep in his heart, would be perfect for his riza, it reminds him perfectly of her

(they see the determination in his voice, see the plight in his eyes, so of course, in this small market town and knowing of the quiet, secluded, Hawkeye girl, they will indulge him entirely - but all he need to do is ask for it outright for it - they'd give him it in a heartbeat)

(of course, roy is too proud for that. he wants to work for it. to earn it. its how he was raised, fairly enough)

but being a student, he couldn't afford much. had to save up his allowance from his alchemy creations he sold at the weekend markets and the pocket money his aunt sent him every week. just for this, to give to her.

but it never came to pass, after all the years. it slipped through the cracks as his ambitions grew, as his sights extended further.

but he never forgot entirely.

was always thinking of her.

before he leaves for the military academy from the Hawkeye residence, he finds himself outside the same shop. the shopkeeper has kept it back for him after all these years, much to his surprise - and chagrin. he should have been back a long time ago to make good on his promise. he feels as though he's not only let himself down, but the shop keep and his friend

but the owner reminds him - he still remembered. that's all that matters. and still diligently worked to afford to purchase what he desired for his gift

and so, on that day, roy bought it

and promised to give it to her when he was more worthy of her. after he'd graduated the academy

...........

one day, in roy's office - a random day. there's no significance. riza's now the most recently employed member of his team though, and has been for the last week or so

roy drops It on her desk

"as a thank you," he says, off the cuff. so nonchalant and unconcerned. he wanders over to his desk after unceremoniously dumping the brown package - a feat, in itself. because it deserved so much more than that. it was worth so much mor than that

but he has a reputation to uphold. he's brand new. still wet behind the ears. he has to prove himself.

but the letter he snuck inside the plain brown wrapping explains it as so much more as he treated it

riza, reading it after hours, with only the two of them in the office, smiles softly. she can't conjure up the words for a moment, but eventually finds her voice. she thanks him. she is professional. civil. appreciative.

roy can see it in the way her eyes shine in the bright lights overhead.

every so often, before she leaves for the night, she spies it on the corner of her desk and can't help but smile.

at home, though, where she is free to feel what she feels, with no one else around to see, to judge, to know, she feels something completely different about this gift which has been bestowed upon her

she aches

(for what could have been)

(for everything)

riza almost calls roy, then. she manages to refrain, but she...

she wants to tell him......

she wants to speak to him.

and roy.

he sits on his bed that night. anxiety churns in his stomach. it causes his heart to flutter, his mind to conjure up a thousand different scenarios about what she truly thought about which he gifted her

if only he'd done it sooner

if only he'd done it when he'd intended to

if only, if only, if only

whereas riza aches, he doesn't sleep a wink that night. not while wondering about her true feelings on the matter

roy feels he knows riza well enough to understand, to know...

but sometimes... he just wishes she could freely express to him herself her true thoughts on the matter

she never does

its "forgotten". a passing fancy. a fleeting thank you

(it's never forgotten. by either of them)

[itsnotgoingtotranslate]

HAPPYYYYYY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST SASHA 💖🥳

i don't think anyone can ever defeat you in birthday greetings so im hacking it and employing lily's swag (im sending cake she's gonna deliver it personally like that btw watch out for it)

and for your gift i embroidered you to say sorry for all the times i left you to duel for yourself 😔 (also sorry it's you in knight form stabbing yourself i can't sew your lily gladstone's horse from certain women form 😔). and here's the tiny sword that was supposed to go in it but i can't figure out how to put it in but it's yours too of course (also you need a new one since ya know. your other sword is stuck in you) <3

happy birthday again! i hope you have a great day today, and a wonderful year ahead full of love, happiness, and good health (and good weather and lots and lots of pretty flowers and visits from eeg in your garden)! love ya ❤❤���

ahhhhhh thank you ily i'm v much looking forward to lily delivering the cake in the forest tomorrow (and singing gorilla for me) and the embroidery omg i love it!!!!!!!! the sword too! <333333333 🥹

[hekateinhell]

1 & 17 for Beneath your Shallows ✨

1. What inspired you to write it?

omg LOL gonna expose my behind the scenes lore.

Picture it: August or September last year.

My friend's live reacting while she watches The Lighthouse (which I still haven't seen). It's past midnight when she starts yelling about the "mussy" (mermaid pussy) dripping on RPattz's face and going "Armand AU! Armand AU!"

I'm wide awake now and fucking scandalized, what do I do with this information?

A few months pass.

I take a gamble and drop into @apoptoses's DMs like a lunatic, begging to throw my half-cracked ideas at her because I sense a kindred kinky spirit. 🥹

And bless her, she validates tf out of me as she always does when she says, "if there's any vc character with the unhinged confidence needed to fuck a fish it's lestat" and yes that is a direct copied & pasted quote that I spent actual minutes digging up.

And again, as always, apoptoses was correct. 💖

17. Any feedback/comment you got on the oneshot that you really liked?

@rainbowcarousels left me this absolute Hall of Fame comment that had me bursting into tears when I read it. 💖 Rainbow held my hand throughout the whole writing process, from me rereading TVL to get a better grasp of baby Lestat to hitting post on ao3. So she knew how just how much I agonized over the entire creation and execution of this concept.

When it comes to fics, I think there is a variety of different styles that get employed from a casual feeling to something that reflects the writer to something that reflects what I would say would be Anne's style and the very first thing that struck me here was how much of Anne's style was here. 

And overall, I'm just so pleased that people seem to enjoy it and have fun with the mermaid idea outside of the fic itself! I love that my silly fish fic thoughts can brighten someone else's day the way it does mine when I share them with you! I'm happy whenever I can make you guys happy, even a little bit! 🖤🐠

[n0heart]

hiiiiiiiiiiii ❣️ different anon here. i’m so so sorry to hear you don’t have your mother’s support with your upcoming surgery. i have such a complicated yet close relationship with my mom and she feels the same way about my opinion on kids (i don’t have my tubes tied but would love to tbh) and can project her selfishness onto me. i know pesky hormones can cause so much turmoil too, but please please please just focus on how much joy this is going to bring you!!!! how cool it is you get to employ your bodily autonomy!!! how selfish you are being for your own health and happiness !!!!!! that’s literally so fricking badass of you !!!!! you deserve this !!!!! so so so many of us here are rooting and supporting you. i know it’s not the same nor can fill the void, but i hope it helps 🫶🏼 wishing you the safest and speediest recovery.

awwwwwe COME HERE let me kiss your forehead and give you a hug 🥹🥹🥹 thank you so much for your words, absolutely nothing anyone may say to me will be able to change my mind because i've made this decision many years ago, i'm just lucky enough to be doing this right now.

parents can definitely be selfish sometimes (either intentionally or without realizing) and it's on us to ignore them, of course it sucks not to have their support especially if you normally do have it -like in my case- but at the end of the day we're adults and we make our own choices whether they like it or not

and i'm so SO happy for myself, i know people here are happy for me as well and it truly trulyyyyy means more than anyone can imagine

thank youuu again you're the sweetest pookie 🤏🏼😚

[asbestieos]

we used to be friends, way before, and like, wow, youve gone so far, proud of you

🥹🥹🥹 oh my goodness!! anon if youre who i think you are (i am somewhat confident in my silly hunch), im so happy to know youre still out there even if we dont talk anymore!!! admittedly i have the most terrible memory ever so i barely remember much of our time together (i wish i remembered more!! but as is, i cant even remember the last time i showered lmfao) but since its been such a long time, i hope its ok if i give you a Riley Life Update of the past.. two, three years? <- it feels like it has been longer than that 😭😭

2020!! i graduated!! i enrolled in school! i girlslayed hard! however due to World Events, i cant go to school in person and am relegated to online classes in my room </3 unfortunately im also in the deepest depths of my genshin phase and ran both my own And denver’s acc. sometimes i paid for her acc’s battlepass too it was bad DBDKBFJ

2021! girlslaying starting to fail from burnout and severe depression from being shut in! i passed my first semester exams with flying colors! i failed all but one of my second semester exams. also come january im both afflicted with covid and experiencing a bad bed bug infestation. #girlsuffering. i dropped out in the summer ^_^ this is when the terrible moodswings hit (i thought they were moodswings but as it turns out, i was incredibly emotionally unstable!! more on this later)

2022!! last year oh my gosh! denver and jasper/moth and i started talking about moving in together, which requires me to have money of course. so aprilish i get a job! i work at starbucks! i girlslay REALLY hard. i also start playing ensemble stars (the beginning of my curse……..). come july i had a massive breakdown and almost broke up with denver and our mutual friend group 👍 it was Bad bad.. but things worked out? <- this experience has led me to believe im probably a bpd haver becos of how wildly unstable i am. fun! crasy asf!

moving plans fall through as summer goes by, im still employed at my job, still havent gotten my license yet but it is ok i will get it soon, and come 2023, moving plans are back on!! hopefully will be seen-through ny the time summer comes…

tldr i have bpd, i dropped out and got a job, im gay a shit over idol bot gacha game, and by summer, ill hopefully be moved in with denver!! yeha those are the important updates! for me at least. randys in college now btw!!! in her sophomore year!! shes incredible truly! she lives on campus so i usually only see her once a month or so but shes literally awesome ^_^

very long update post and i made it all about me 💔 theres history between us that ive unfortunately forgotten and im sad that ive forgotten (then again i could always read back, but every time ive tried, ive only cringed at myself like OOGH is that me?? sickening) but im really glad to have gotten this anon!! if youre not the person i think you are thats okay and also i am sorry i assumed UEGEJVFDJF i needed this i think to try and reflect back on. the crazy ass time my newrly three years of adult life has been.. im 21 in july!!! crazy as hell!

i also hope the formatting is ok, i try to break up big paragraphs w/o starting a brand new one for the sake of readability <:] i think i mightbe learned that from you? i dont remember though guwbddjjd.. but i think about you on the occasion as i do with everyone ive ever met ever and im glad to know youre still kicking it like i am.. life is rough a hell 💔

theres not enough words i can say that can make up for not remembering us too well and also for saying and doing hurtful things to you if theres one thing ive not forgotten, its that i was not a very nice person way back when. but i hope now youre in a better place and you have friends who love you just as much as i did and still do!!

i have to go to work but uuwheuehehhehehrhfht thank you for reaching out anon i hope this post was nice to read and feel free to live in my inbox for forever, even if you wanna stay anonymous forever i dont mind! if youre not the person i was thinking of, rest well with the joy that youve given me a moment to reflect on myself euwhhwrh but if you ARE the person i was thinking of. im sorry i hurt you. and thank you!! i love you!! im glad you were a part of my life. i hope your day is good and your tomorrow is better!! live in my inbox if it pleases you!!

EDIT: FROGOR TO SAY IM PROUD OF YOU TOO 👍