#she's a hard worker and smart don't get me wrong

[amlovelies]

Ximena is oc of the week and she's one who I'd moved to the back burner because like she didn't feel super distinct or have much personality and now I have to think of a personality 😬 I think I might make her a gamer. I don't have any ocs who are gamers so that might be fun

[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job, Post 397: Cat n Mouse, p8 (Interlude: Monkey Business)

Randi Mongillo had let herself into the side door of the building which housed what was, still, for now,  Far Horizons Medical Associates. The building was dark but it was not empty; below ground, men stirred. The lights flickered on as she strode the hallways of the old practice and made her way through it, to the main elevator in the new atrium. Once inside she punched in the code into the newly installed keypad before hitting the button for Sub-Basement 3  where all their little monkeys lived.

Randi did not want to be here, and anyone could read that off her face. In general she wasn't a big fan of being told what to do, and hated the idea of being anyone's lackey. If anyone else had asked her to leave home, drive to work at night just so they could have their own personal cleanup service she would have told them to shove it. Missy though…Missy was different. She’s dumb as a brick, don't get me wrong, Randi would tell you, but she’s also…kinda the heart of everything. Randi owed her a lot - for this job, for a lot of her own personal ‘improvements’, for her position in what looked to be shaping up into a new society  - which made it pretty hard to say no to her, even when she really wanted to. Like tonight.

I could really go for another bliss right now. Missy blowing that little fucker could really take the edge off, Randi thought just as the elevator reached its destination and the doors began to open. She’d grown used to her evenings being peppered with bliss. It would come on in waves, crashing into her and making her more, more, more every night. The echoes of that twerp making their world just a little bit better would ripple through her body as she felt him give in to his urges, give in to Melissa. It was honestly the best, and - if she had to admit it - kind of addictive.

Randi walked out into Sub-Basement 3 and through a few metal detectors before holding up her Evolution Pharmaceuticals supplied keycard and entering the door into the administrative area of ‘the Barracks.��� Randi looked out from behind bulletproof reinforced glass on to the ‘residents’ of this little ‘community’ of males (at least that was what they were calling it officially. To Randi and most of the girls, Sub-Basement 3 was “The Fap Dungeon”).

The large communal room in front of her was filled with them, men of various ages, some in their old clothes, some in the brown coveralls that had been purchased for them as a kind of simple uniform for manual laborers. They were  largely the construction workers who had been working on the expansion, with a handful of homeless and the odd pathetic loner thrown in. They were all aimlessly milling about, huddling in small groups, or watching the tv's on the walls. The teaser interview for Channel 5 had obviously been put on loop, and it was playing over and over and over again. Many couldn't keep their eyes off it. The pathetic, braindead little zombies, Randi sniggered. If she were to listen closely she might be able to hear some of them quietly moaning or whining. Some others were repeating little mantras as they watched, over and over…

Randi walked up to the microphone at the front of the security booth. Looking out into the crowd of them, she noticed that many had shaved their heads. She also knew the place was empty of any female staff. There was security that was going to be assigned here, part of the group of girls that was supposed to start next week. In the meantime, Randi figured it might be smart not to cause a riot.

But, fuck it right? I mean…where's the fun in that? If I have to be here dealing with these apes I might as well have a bit of fun with it. Give them something to really live for.

Randi hit the button to activate the intercom with an unnaturally wide and unnerving smile spread across her face.

“Hey shit stains!” Randi yelled into the intercom causing an awful howling sound as the intercom crackled to life with the power of her voice. “Yeah, I'm talking to you douchebags. I need some of you to come with me and clean up a mess outside. Any volunteers?”

Her eyes shone in amusement as she watched the group en masse, all these ‘big strong men’ shrink away from her and avert their gazes. These simps, breathing in all these artificial pheromones of Melissa’s pumped directly onto the floor were just too predictable, so easy to manipulate.

“Aww, are you guys too tired? Is going outside just too difficult? Too scary?” she asked snidely. She had used up the last drop of her patience much earlier today. Otherwise she might have at least a dollop of pity for these saps. “That’s fine. I guess I can find someone else to clean Melissa’s house.”

That got their attention.

Randi watched as all their eyes shot up. Melissa, these days, was the person they thought about the most. In fact, Randi knew she was almost all they thought about. Any man here would give his left nut just for the chance to get closer to Melissa, to be helpful to her, to be noticed. The other nut they’d save for a touch, or just a smile, but they’d give themselves willingly for this woman that was beginning to become something more than human in their eyes.

They, in fact, would do anything.

“I thought one of you would give a shit about her. Oh well, guess I'll be going now-”

“Wait!” The panicked voices of one of the men cried out as he ran forward, towards Randi’s glass enclosure. He was raising his hand. “I’ll go!”

“M-me too!”

“Me too!”

“What are you talking about?” one of them argued with the other, “Everyone knows you can't do shit! I should go.”

“Fuck you! I should go!”

Randi watched as the room erupted in an all-out brawl, each fighting for the opportunity to clean up Melissa’s little fuck session at her mom’s house while she put her boyfriend to bed. It was honestly hilarious. 

Blood was spilled and teeth were lost as they fought amongst themselves for a few minutes. Soon enough, though, Randi became bored. Watching them kick the shit out of each other was fun and all, but honestly, she just wanted to get the fuck out of here and maybe get the chance to go home and sleep.

Randi opened the reinforced door that separated the security chamber from the common area and walked into the room. She grabbed three of the men from the grand melee and pulled them out into the hallway before anyone else could notice. Then she went back in and picked off several more until she was satisfied.

“Alright you clods are it, ‘the chosen ones’,” she said, sarcasm probably lost on the doltish males in their excitement, “You,  beardy - you can drive? You’ll take one of the construction vans. They’ve got tools, right? I’ll drive in my car, you follow me. We’ll get in there, you’ll clean stuff up, and you’ll fix whatever you can.”

“Ummm…” one of them began, looking suddenly embarrassed to speak, “we’re driving by ourselves?”

Oh yeah, oh crap. Pheromones. They know they’ll need me with them. “Fine. I’ll drive the fucking van.” Means I’ll need to leave my car here. 

The men nodded appreciatively, as if excited for the opportunity.

“And, when we’re there, don't you dare make a fucking sound you hear me? She’ll be upstairs resting.  If any of you does anything to draw attention to yourselves, or disturb her,  I’ll bite your fucking head off, kick you out onto the streets myself. Got it?”

“Y-yes Ms. Mongillo,”  one of them spoke up while the others silently nodded. “t-thank you for recognizing us, and giving us the chance to-”

“Pfft-  You aren’t special, you're just the closest ones I could grab. Plus, you’re men. You’re all basically the same anyway, weak, shit for brains. Now shut up and let’s get going so maybe at some point I can go to bed.”

==========================================

sorry for the delay, tumblr. been away.

thanks to ResistanceIsFutile for writing this one; it’s really his baby.

[qqueenofhades]

Think what strikes me about something like "we can't vote because the system is rigged! Ban the electoral college!" is the big underlying implication of it.

That there is no multiple solutions or paths, only the one correct path and everything else is worthless.

And that's incredibly frustrating because there are two levels of problems with it:

is the utter dismissiveness of anything other than their specific solution, which ignores how any degree of positive change cannot occur with only just ONE idea, it's usually the result of many ideas that lead to change.

The fact that it feels like they're skipping every step in between the current situation to this end result, or actively fixating on themselves having the correct solution, but only by literally getting everything in between completely wrong in the process.

Like, the latter point in particular is like a complex math equation: Just because you got the right answer doesn't mean you can just ignore every difficult step in between, or just assume that all of the WRONG processes become validated retroactively because you stumbled into the correct answer. You'd literally get failed and be forced to redo the problem if you tried that shit in math.

I saw a poll the other day claiming that support for abolishing the Electoral College had now reached 65% of all Americans. Now, I take all polls, whether good or bad, with a grain of salt, but this does reflect a growing awareness that the EC is a horrible racist anti-democratic dinosaur only applied to the presidential election and only used for electing Republicans who don't win the nationwide popular vote, and that there's a genuine groundswell of support to abolish it. See the National Popular Vote Interstate Compact, which could possibly collect enough state-by-state ratifications to go into effect into 2028 (in the best-case scenario). So even all the bitching about how "the system is rigged" (which. WE KNOW! WE KNOW! There's not a single Democratic voter going to vote like WOW I LOVE THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE CAN'T WAIT FOR MY VOTE TO DEPEND ON HOW MUCH IT COUNTS THANKS TO THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE WHEE OLD DEAD WHITE GUYS!) blatantly ignores that a possible seismic change IS possibly in the offing, because people put in the work to make it happen!!! The fact that the EC might soon be superseded or disempowered is FUCKING MONUMENTALLY HUGE!!! It has existed literally since the beginning of America and arbitrated every single presidential election!!! And let me tell you, the people working to make that change and fundamentally reshape American democracy are absolutely not the Online Leftists, whose grasp of civic and political theory starts and ends at "wah the system is rigged I do not vote I am very smart!"

This also reminds me of the recent idiots in my notes complaining that Biden was a) not "genuine" in supporting the striking auto workers, that b) Don't You Know He Broke The Rail Strike (the follow-up where he gave the railworkers what they most wanted with that strike was conveniently never mentioned), or c) that he wasn't "doing it for the right reasons" (whatever the fuck that means). Which accurately reflects their belief that the way you do politics, or praxis, or anything at all, is just by having the Really Goodest Mostest Purest Intentions really hard, and that's it. Like. Aside from the fact that it's impossible to prove why Biden is privately motivated to do anything, we have a long track record demonstrating that he is a person of genuine Catholic faith who has been moving more and more to the left overall, and has been the most pro-union, pro-labor president in American history. So first of all, complaining that "he's not GENUINE!!!!" in supporting the strikers is impossible to prove, and contradicted by actual evidence. But the Online Leftists gotta feel More Gooder Than Him somehow, so.

Likewise: as I said in one of my previous posts about Hillary Clinton: I do not give a fuck if she was privately the most Neoliberal Corporate Centrist Shill Ever To Shill (and as I also said, none of those words means what the Online Leftists think they do). I do not care about the American monarch president's personal feelings, unless they reflect directly on the policy that they make and the real-world effects that it has. I don't care if Clinton killed puppies (or dreamed about killing puppies, which for the thoughtcrime police is equally bad), as long as she appointed 3 new liberal justices to SCOTUS and throughout the courts, instead of the hacks that Trump forced onto the bench and literally everything else he did. In the same vein, Biden could secretly be like "hahahaha fuck all workers BIG CORPORATIONS FOR LYFE but I gotta support the workers and get them their rights so they'll vote 4 meeee" (not that I actually think he is, but still) and hold onto your hankies, children: I DO NOT CARE! Because the tangible real-world effects of that policy that he is working hard on making results in a better economy for those workers and substantial redistribution of capital away from the oligarchs for the first time in a generation! Not to mention, I kind of like the idea that a president decides to make himself most appealing to workers instead of bosses! But for the Online Leftists, if this action isn't done with the Sufficiently Pure Motives, it is Wrong and Bad and Not Good Enough and Blah Blah Biden Sekrit Republican.

Anyway. Yes. That. The end.

[hvghes]

right where you left me ft. tyler duke

Friends break up, friends get married strangers get born, strangers get buried

tyler and his childhood best friend had finally gotten together during their first year of college. they both attended osu together it being both of their dream schools. she attended every on of his games and he attended all of her events. she was a smart girl always getting awards and he never missed one of them. she helped him study to maintain good grades and he was her emotional support.

Trends change, rumors fly through new skies

everything was perfect. the first year of college was one of the best, especially since tyler finally got the courage to get his girl. but towards the end of his hockey season there were rumors of tyler transferring. the young y/n never wanted to bring it up because tyler would never leave. but little did she know the rumors were true.

Help, I'm still at the restaurant still sitting in a corner I haunt cross-legged in the dim light they say, "What a sad sight”

every saturday night was date night. the two were at their normal go to diner for a date. celebrating the good of the end of Tyler’s season. as much as y/n didn’t want to bring up the rumors it was eating her alive.

“ty, are you transferring to umich?” and he paused midway of eating setting his utensils down looking down. that was enough for her answer. she got up placing some money on the table before leaving. she was about to lose the man who taught her what real love was.

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

tyler came by to her dorm the next morning to talk. “look i don’t want you to give up your dreams just because i am moving. osu was always your dream school since we were both little. yes it was mines but my main dream was to play hockey with dylan. you’re my world y/n but i don’t want to be in the way of your dreams. we’re over.”

Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion? breakups happen every day, you don't have to lose it

she tried her best to continue going on with life. during her second year her grades slipped. she stopped caring about school. she stopped caring about herself. she still went to the diner every Saturday night in hopes he’d be there one day.

I, I stayed there dust collected on my pinned-up hair

she couldn’t bear going to any of the hockey games. although she became friends with some of tylers old teammates, she still couldn’t pull herself together to go. they felt awful. they knew how hard the break up was. what she didn’t know that tyler would ask them how shes doing. he felt terrible. his old teammates didn’t sugar coat her state she was in. they were honest. tyler went through the worst being away from his girl.

And it's been so long but if you ever think you got it wrong I'm right where you left me

sophmore year was coming to an end. so was hockey season. but of course the one year of tyler and y/n being over ended up on the day where umich was in town for a game. it was on a saturday night and y/n didn’t bother going. instead she sat in the corner booth where her and tyler shared their first kiss, where he took her on their first date, where he officially asked her to be his. where all their happy memories laid until the rumors of him leaving was confirmed. thats when the once happy corner booth turned into a nightmare. she hadn’t realized how long she was there until one of the workers who always served her and tyler found her sleeping and asked her if everything’s alright. to which she said everything was fine and paid for her bill and as soon as she got up to leave she saw him. her person was here for the first time in way too long.

tags: @drysdalesv

[dollarbin]

Shakey Sundays #39:

Trans, At Last

She could not speak, not to me, nor to anyone else. And she was always in such terrible pain...

I want to wrap up our three-, or maybe it's four-, part exploration of Neil Young's Trans on a fairly serious note. Long before I took up residence in the Dollar Bin and even before I became a teacher, I spent my 20's working with people with disabilities. I served as their social worker, boss, employee, supporter and advocate. At one point I directed programs that included around 100 wheelchair users and around 20 of their aides.

So, while I am blessed to be non-disabled myself and equally blessed to be the parent to three non-disabled children, I do know a little bit about what Neil Young went through in the early 80's when he put his career on autopilot and focused his heart, hands and soul on trying to help his young son Ben, who was born with Cerebral Palsy, find a way to speak and thrive.

I quit my work with adults with physical disabilities 20 years ago when I felt called to teach; but I also quit because I realized that, try as I might, I'd never come close to truly meeting any of those people's needs. In short, I gave up.

And she was one of the 100 people I left behind. I'll call her Jane here as it feels wrong to use her real name. "Jane" was a powerful and brilliant woman in her 40's who could not talk or walk or make any complex needs known. She had no teeth left in her mouth: they had not been removed; rather, they'd all been ground down to the roots by a lifetime of uncontrollable muscle strain, her jaw clamped down hard by both her disability and her fury at the world around her.

I remember our first conversation well. Like all the other non-verbal people at my work she had a communication board: a laminated paper grid with 60 or so black and white cartoon icons, each of them part of a potential message: Me. You. Food. Want. Bathroom. Angry. Please. Some of the boxed icons carried entire phrases, ready to go as needed. I Am In Pain. Leave Me Alone.

The system was simple: you'd stand before them and hold the board up for them to see, then point to each column one at a time, left to right, and wait for a sign. Some would holler wordlessly when you got to the right row; others would nod; Jane would strain every responsive muscle she could access, her body going rigid against her chair's multiple restraints, her eyebrows surging upward. There was no misunderstanding Jane.

Once the column was identified, you'd work your way down it, finger pointed to each icon in turn until you found the single word or phrase they sought. It'd take a few minutes of this work for them to complete a sentence. "I. Need. Help." "I. Angry."

Jane's first sentence for me was a doozy: "I. Not. Stupid."

The implication was clear. While trying to get to know her I was treating her like she was stupid. And she wasn't. She was smart enough to see right through me and then chew me out.

In case you don't know, Cerebral Palsy is related to spinal cord damage, usually from childbirth or pre-birth. For half of the people it affects there is no mental impairment of any kind. Even so, such people often struggle to become educated - for example, Jane could not read. This was not because she was unable to do so; it was because no one had ever taught her.

Jane had spent the decade or so before I showed up with the world's dullest and most insulting job. Six hours a day, five days a week, and 50 or so weeks a year, she watched someone with a mental disability stuff envelopes. That was the whole job.

Occasionally the person she was watching would screw up. Maybe an insert was wrong side up; maybe they'd missed an envelope. If so, it was her job to do her thing: straining every muscle available until one of the able bodied staff members took note and came over to correct the mistake.

This terrible job wasn't unique for Jane, nor was it unique for the person she watched. Indeed, that's how your junk mail was processed 20 years ago. And both Jane and the envelope stuffer made just 30-40 dollars for their work, total.

Sounds pretty bad huh? Well guess what? That 30-40 dollars was the sum total of their annual pay. I'll do the math for you: they each made 2.5 cents an hour.

(Arrangements like this are no longer legal in much of our country. It's crazy that they were ever legal to begin with. After all we supposedly ended slavery 160 years ago.)

Anyway, the good people who hired me to work with Jane and her peers knew this whole thing was evil and pointless. So they tasked me with figuring out what we should do for these people instead. I had no idea! But, happily, I was smart enough to realize who would know what we should do for them: them.

So I asked them. And that led to Jane telling me that she wasn't stupid.

Well, I made a ton of mistakes in the years that followed, and I never really came up with a solution. But we did bring in a ton of the computers these people asked for and we set up some classes they requested and we begged and pleaded with regular old businesses to give them regular old jobs and treat them like human beings. Occasionally a business said yes.

But I couldn't find a job for Jane. She had no tangible skills other than her intelligence and her fearlessness. "What can we do for you?" I'd asked her. "How can we improve your days?" She'd always sigh and go slack in response, her head falling forward. It was her way of saying I don't know.

Then, one day we both figured it out. I honestly don't remember if it was her idea or mine. But there was one thing I was constantly doing in my job and that was hiring new staff people. The pay was terrible and the work was hard so of course there was tons of staff turnover. And so I always had openings to fill and I often, out of desperation, hire someone who was just wrong for the job.

At some point Jane and I both recognized that I needed help. So, we put her in charge of my hiring decisions.

Our system was simple. I'd sit the applicant down, then wheel in Jane, then start asking the questions Jane and I had settled on. Once that was all done I'd dismiss the applicant and turn to Jane with a simple question: should we hire them?

Twice I overruled her. Twice she told me not to hire someone and I did it anyway. Jane didn't care about our staffing shortages; she would rather we had no staff than have anyone around her and her peers who was unworthy or incapable.

The first person I hired despite her no vote turned out to be a sex worker on the side. I've received some wise feedback regarding the language and judgment I used for that person in my original post. So let's just leave it at this: Jane enjoyed telling me "I. Was. Right.You.Wrong." when they lasted less than a month on the job.

It was more of the same with the other poor woman Jane and I disagreed about. She turned out to be a severe alcoholic and wound up in the hospital, dying shortly thereafter. Jane had the decency not to laugh at me about that one.

But I'm supposed to be writing about Neil Young. So let me make the connection: Neil Young wanted to utterly transform his son's life. He wanted to give Ben the joyful independence all humans deserve by coming up with a communication system that was personalized and all-powerful: he wanted to see his son overcome Cerebral Palsy through the "push of a button."

Like Walter Lee Younger, the passionately intense and hopelessly pie-in-the-sky father at the heart of Lorraine Hansberry's A Raisin in the Sun, Neil Young wanted to lift his seemingly doomed child up in his arms and reveal their future as impossibly bright: "Son, I give you the world!"

Neil hired a whole team of people to make it happen. He bought machine after machine and threw himself into hours of daily therapy with Ben. Remote control technology was invented and later patented which allowed Ben to "run the show," operating a whole barn worth of toy trains through that mythical "push of a button".

That was Neil's life in the early 80's. And so it's no wonder that he wrote an entire obscure album about the quest:

But listen: remember what I told you about Jane's role in our hiring decisions? That was one of my few successes. I worked my ass off for a decade and, at the end of it, Jane, and most of her peers, still did not have consistently meaningful and fulfilling lives. They were not "running the show" in the way Neil dreams of in Transformer Man. Jane was still in constant pain. She still could not talk. Every morning when I looked in her eyes I was not electrified with the joy Neil describes in his song and his quest; rather I was burdened with my own failure.

He sings "sooner or later you'll have to see the cause and effect... so many things still left to do but we haven't made it yet." Well, the people I worked with were not kids like Ben; they understood cause and effect far better than you or I ever will. Their disabilities caused them to be marginalized and miserable; their disabilities made them burdens instead of contributors. There were always "so many things still left to do."

But I'm being far too negative. Ben Young, somewhat famously, became an egg farmer. He used a corner of Neil's ranch to let his happy hens run wild in ways that he never could and he delivered their eggs all over the Santa Cruz mountains. And before that he attended the world's very best school for children with Cerebral Palsy, a school founded and funded by his famous parents.

We've covered a lot of ground in nearly 40 Shakey posts. I think I've demonstrated that Neil is plenty of things, all of them delightful: he's unhinged, unpredictable, utterly independent and capable of every mood from the spiritual to the boneheaded, often in the same song.

But I think his quest with Ben and the story behind Trans shows what is perhaps Neil's most admirable quality. He loves so deeply. The planet, his cars, his son: Neil Young is fiercely, maybe even insanely, dedicated to protecting and positively transforming the people and things that he loves.

I'm not fit to compare myself to Neil in this sense. But, more than once, I hosted an after hours staff party at my house and Jane always showed up, ready to sit in the middle, guzzling a cocktail or two through a straw. She was a fully accepted and vital member of our earnest team. I didn't help her much. Rather, I let her help me. And that's a transformation I'm proud of.

I saw Jane just one more time after I left that job. I invited her to my high school and asked her to speak to my students about people with disabilities, about their struggle and their perspectives. She showed up with a new communication device that day, a computer in place of the old board. She operated it through a head switch she could strain to wack, thereby initiating the speech that she'd prepped.

"Hello," her Trans voice began, a big grin on her face as she caught my eye in the back. "Let me start by telling you what I told your teacher the first time we ever met. I told him I was not what he or you think I am even though I am in this chair and even though I need this computer to talk for me. I am not stupid."

[locoforshuri]

unknown hatred

{ hey guys, so sorry it took me so long. i lost so much motivation. i'll try and stay as consistent as possible. i thought about this when i was on a call and i thought it would be cool. love u bebs }

i have decided this will be a oneshot!! (sorry)

dedicating this to: @queenofsimpsblog your so special to me. mwah mwah mwah. your my virtual gf idc.

shuri x black!fem!reader

word count: 2 761 🤍

___________________________________________

"The match seems to be correct, panther."

Griot said shortly after you rearranged the samples and put them in the correct places.

Shuri had been struggling with it since morning and when you asked if she needed some assistance, she rudely said:

"No, do your own work. Not every piece of work belongs to you."

You and Shuri used to be very close in your childhood days. You would run around in the palace and talk about stuff only you two would talk about. Your mom lived in the palace after your dad died since he and King T'Chaka were best friends. After T'chaka died after your dad, T'challa, Shuri and Ramonda welcomed you guys in with open arms. You always had a passion for tech design. As you grew up in Shuri's advanced lab, your knowledge about it only grew stronger, and soon enough, You were appointed as the official tech designer of Wakanda. No one was happier than Shuri. That was 3 years ago. Now your 19, Shuri 21. The older you two got, the more distance increasing between the two of you. What made it so dreadful was hiding your feelings for her. Even though the distance made it easier, you loved spending time with her. You always wondered why you started to seperate. You two were known as the kids who were basically sown together to the hip.

"Ok Griot, don't need to rub it in my face."

Shuri said with annoyance in her tone. Shuri always got angry when you successfully achieved something like you guys were competing in some competition you've been made unaware of. You tried to still be kind to her because you thought everyone deserves kindness, even the ones in the wrong.

"My apologies, Panther."

Griot said.

"I'm... sorry, Shuri. I was just trying to help."

"No, Y/N. Not everything is ABOUT YOU."

Shuri said angrily before pushing past you, purposefully brushing hard against your shoulder and walked to another station working on something else. Your tears couldn't help but fall as you stormed out with your sobs loud enough for Shuri to hear.

"Miss Y/N/N, do you require any assistan-"

"No Griot, I don't. Not everything is about me."

You whispered loud enough for Griot to hear but not Shuri. But unfortunately, after she took the herb, her five senses have improved greatly. She was able to hear without even trying. But before she could react, you had already walked out heading to your room.

"Well done, Shuri. That's how you talk with your crush of almost a decade."

She said to herself coldly. Deep down, Griot was laughing inside. Shuri knew the power you held. The smartness you showed. The kind, polite, beautiful side of you she rarely saw anymore. She knew. She knew she was the reason you two starting distancing, and now all she does is criticise and shout at you for stuff you were good at. It hurt her. To see how she turned out to be like this person. Shuri has had the most humoungous crush on you since you were kids. Little was all she knew. Ever since T'challa's death. She was dead inside. Like there was no reason to live. Y/N and T'challa were like siblings just not as close as Shuri. Shuri was nice to everyone. Except you.

THE NEXT MORNING

"Hi Ms Panther?" Zaneta called.

She was the only one who called her that. She was one of the lab workers who you thought was too close to Shuri and her feelings for her were so visible, you didn't even need glasses. The girl was always getting on your nerves. She thought just because of her closeness to the princess, she can be rude to you. Your jealousy only grew more at the nicknames. You immediately turn your head.

"I would love that, thank you."

She said with the biggest smile on her face to Zaneta. That was all you heard after thinking about how much you despise her. And more, how you despise Shuri for allowing this. You just wanted the old Shuri back. The fun, kind, protective, caring Shuri.

"Y/N? Are you ignoring me?" Shuri said to you with slight shock.

You heard as you finally snapped out of your delusional thoughts.

"What do you want, I'm busy?"

You said with anger but not too much, trying not to sound rude as you continued your work with the vibranium detectors in front of you. Too bad she could detect the anger in your voice almost immediately.

"Y/N, are you talking to me in such a manner?"

She said annoyed. Bast help me.

"No, I didn't mean to. I'm just-"

You tried to explain.

"Y/N, NEVER, will you talk to me in such a manner. Please excuse yourself immediately."

She said with an tone showing no emotion but you can tell she is angry.

"Shuri, I-"

"Now."

You couldn't believe it. Was this really Shuri in front of you, talking to you like this? As the emotional baby you are, tears started forming in your eyes, but not daring to fall in front of Shuri and Zaneta. Zaneta started giggling. The mother-

You stormed out of the lab shutting the door with a loud thud. Before you left you made sure your face was out of sight so the tears could finally fall. Shuri could hear your sobs from miles and miles away. In her mind, she couldn't care less. But in her heart, she knew she messed up as always. But she wasn't going to apologize. Shuri was holding a grudge against you and it was her mission to never let go of it. Shuri knew Zaneta liked her as well. Pfft, A baby could tell. But Zaneta wasn't Y/N, obviously. But Shuri using Zaneta to make Y/N jealous, was also a part of her plan to annoy Y/N for whatever reason.

"Sorry about her, she has problems. She's such a baby sometimes."

Shuri said finally turning back to Zaneta with a forced grin on her face. Shuri knew that wasn't true. She found it so cute how you would cry over the little things.

"Meh, its okay. She bores me anyway. Now like I was saying with the vibranium detectors Y/N was working on, I think I should take over the project. She isn't doing a very good job. Don't you think Ms Panther?"

Zaneta babbled with a big smile on her face.

"Why? It looks okay to me, Zaneta."

Shuri said with a confused expression on her face.

"Because I feel I have the qualities to do it. Y/N has been slacking these days. Wonder why, do not care."

Zaneta said looking unfazed. Anything about Y/N makes her extremely angry. She hates the relationship that you two had and did anything to seperate you two. She has always loved Shuri. Only after she became the new panther. After that, she sent an application to work at the lab, just to get closer to Shuri. In her favor, she was smart enough to carry on her lie but the goal was to get Y/N out of the picture, asap.

"Alright, If you feel you do. I'll let Y/N know tomorrow. Don't think she'll be coming back tomorrow."

Shuri said with a poker face.

"Thank you, your majesty."

Zaneta said in a playful tone, bowing her head. Giggles escape from both lips. Shuri could not lie to herself. Zaneta was pretty. Just not Y/N pretty. No shit.

02:34 AM

You knew no one would be in the lab, considering the time. Except one person. Shuri. The older you got, Shuri got slowly more addicted to practically living in the lab. She felt it was her way of escaping reality. The more time she spent there, the more you two started to distance.

As you made your way out of your room, dressed in nothing but a sports bra and pyjama shorts, you passed the lab. Making sure to not look inside incase interacting with Shuri.

Unfortunately, that did not work in your favour as Shuri already saw you. Shuri asked Griot to alert you to enter the lab. You felt hesitant. Should I really go back in there? After what happened hours and hours ago? Whatever, sure.

As you slowly walked in, you spot Shuri working on the upper level at your station. You immediately speed-walk to see what she is doing on your work.

"You requested my prescence at this late hour?" You said with a blank expression.

"Y/N. Zaneta is taking over your project, the vibranium detectors." She said blankly.

"Excuse me? Are you insane? Just because- you know what? Never mind. By tomorrow, you'll see there will be problems as soon as she touches it."

You said with anger. How could she just replace you without even asking you? But obviously, it's Shuri. So you aren't as suprised as your supposed to be.

"She insisted, Y/N. I didn't really have much of a choice. I'm... sorry." Shuri spoke hesitantly.

Shuri didn't want to let her take over the project at all. You were the only one who knew what they were doing. But of course, due to her unknown hatred towards you, she had to give it to Zaneta.

As Shuri apologised hesitantly, you couldn't help but notice the look in her eyes as she said that. You knew deep, deep down Zaneta tricked her into letting her take over. Just so she could rub it in and get close to the princess.

"Did you come to get water again? I have a bottle there for you on my desk." Shuri spoke after a few seconds. Not daring to look you in the eyes.

Ever since your childhood days, while everyone was sound asleep, you would go down to get water because unfortunately, thats how your body worked. Shuri would always go with you because you were afraid of the dark. Ever since your seperation, you realised and grew out of your fear of the dark and would go there every night.

"Thanks... I guess. But just so you know..." You started as you walked over and took the water bottle screwing it open as Shuri's eyes captured your every moment.

"What you did, is complete nonsense. This grudge and hatred you have against me... is dumb and childish. And you letting Zaneta take it over because you are trying to anger me, isn't fair Shuri. I miss the old Shuri, the kind and fun Shuri that never hated me, one who was always there for me. I don't think... things will ever be the same from here. I tried to be nice. All you do is yell and scream and be mean to me. And I'm sure you know how big of a cry baby I am. Look Shuri, I miss him too. I miss them too. They were my family too. But that doesn't give you the right to let your pain and anger out on me. I am the only person you basically have left. But it doesn't feel like it. Nakia and Okoye, Ayo and Aneka, have been questioning our distance and I can't even tell them you've been such a arrogant, ignorant, selfish person towards me. I always give people second chances, you know me. But just know this, I'm not even mad, I am dissapointed. I- I dont even know you anymore."

You finished as tears started to roll down your eyes. All this anger and pain you bottled up for years, all poured out within minutes. Shuri looked at you with hurt and regret. She let all of her anger blind her and keep her from the only person left, that really cared about her. Is there really anyway to fix this? Shuri's eyes formed tears that started to fall, one by one.

"Y/N, to be completely honest with you. I know how much I've been hurting you. I-I- know I haven't been much of a friend. Heck, I hated you for no reason, sthandwa. I know. It's just that, ever since they- they left me, I've been hurting all the people closest to me. The people who only want the best for me. I guess that's how I grief, through resent and hatred. Especially towards you. I'm sorry, I really am sorry. I don't even like hanging out with Zaneta. I guess it was just to piss you off. She forced me to say yes to let her take over just to get you jealous of her. I know she likes me. She's just... not you. I love you, and only you. You don't have to forgive me right now, just know I'm sorry."

She finished as she started to walk towards you slowly and interwined her fingers with yours. She looked at you with the most genuine and sincere eyes you have ever seen. She really has an effect on you.

"Look Shuri, I forgive you but... Zaneta? What's gonna happen to her?"

"I have an idea."

She chuckled to herself and gave you a peck on the cheek.

"Go sleep now, we need to be up bright and early tomorrow, eh? Sleep well sthandwa."

She tilted your head upwards to meet her eye level and gave you a proper kiss. Is this what heaven feels like? Focus. Aren't you still mad at her?

THE NEXT MORNING

"There she is, my favourite panther." Zaneta walked over to Shuri throwing finger guns at her with a big smile on her face. Shuri was still facing her work and didn't acknowledge Zaneta's prescence. ouch.

Zaneta was quick to notice this and thought it was a joke or she was wearing earphones. She walked towards Shuri waving her hands in front of Shuri's face, trying to grab her attention. Oh she did, but not in the nicest way.

"What Zaneta? Can you not see I'm busy?" Shuri said as annoyed as ever. She turned back around, cracking a small smile as Zaneta looked extremely sad.

"Have I done something wrong, love? I don't-"

Before she could finished you walked in pushing her aside ever so slightly.

"Hey, my love. How are you?" You said as Shuri immediately turned to you to give you a kiss. What in the actual-

"Morning, sthandwa. I'm good. Just been busy. Also, just wanted to let you know, the vibranium detectors are looking great. I think you can continue with the project on your own." She said with a huge grin plastered on to her face.

"What the heck is going on? Shuri, you said you would give it to me."

"Well Zaneta, not everything is about...you. And by the way, if you think I will ever like you back, think again. I can do soo much better."

Shuri's last sentence made you giggle which caused Zaneta to give you a death glare. You smiled back at her. Disgraceful little-

"Zaneta, please pack your things and leave immediately. Your prescence is not wanted here." Shuri said coldly.

"...Panther, are you serious right now?"

Zaneta said struck and hurt. This could not be happening. Y/N. Y/N took my place. I was supposed to rule next to Shuri. She belongs to me, Zaneta thought to herself.

"DONT YOU EVER, call me that. For I do not care about you and you are meaningless to me." Shuri said with a tone of slight anger.

"Zaneta, girlie. I would listen to the panther if I were you. By the way, love the shoes? Where are they from?"

You said sarcastically giving her a 'I won.' look. Finally, after all these years with Shuri absoulutely despising you. The one that cared for you was coming back. The one you have loved all your life.

Zaneta had angry tears in her eyes ready to fall but instead went to her station, packed everything and left.

"Zaneta Maquela, departure time 09:33 AM. Fired." Griot spoke shortly after Zaneta shut the doors of the lab. Finally.

Shuri took you by suprise spinning you around and giving you a kiss.

"i love you, sthandwa. i always have, and i will never stop. thats how much you mean to me"

Shuri said as her coco-brown irises looked at you and you completely melted.

"what took you so long, love?" you said smiling.

all she could do was look at you with the adoration and love. i am gonna marry her. she thought to herself. i will marry her.

"just say you love me back, silly."

"i love you too princess."

and they lived happily ever after.

________________________________________

you guys dont even understand how much i hate this!! its so ughhh. i had to rush and give you guys something. i'm back though. <3

taglist: @queenofsimpsblog @percsane @inmyheadimobsessed @dejaonline @secretgyals @mysticalmarss @saintwrld @dayedreamm @letitias-fav @shurismainbxtch @stevengrant-enthusiast @boltzmannsbitch

[plutoasteroids]

Hello, I'm C, she/her, interested in men, he/him. If your free readings are open, may i ask for one please? I'm a bit old and I've been single for over a decade or two due to circumstances. However I do want to have a forever partner and get married to him, and have a life together. I'm also child free i.e. never had any children by choice. And even though I was very broody for just a couple of years, last year I came to the conclusion that I don't want any children and this decision has made me feel very liberated! And I'm glad that i didn't go through any kind of process in the previous years to get a child. I love babies, but that's quite literally the only stage that I love of having a kid, nothing beyond that, lol. So I wanted to know, whether in future will I have a husband for me and will he be happily childfree / childless as well? I don't want to be a step-parent btw, whether of younger or older kids, nor do I want to adopt. I just want me and my husband and a dog or two, and our happy, cozy retired life (maybe babysitting our friends' kids once a while, lol). Thanks a lot for this opportunity!

Assumptions about you - I think you might come across as intimidating at first. I think you like the color black, or else you're into dark aesthetics.

Your assumptions are correct too!

First thing I am seeing is your husband is a little older and he feels like he's too old to start a family from scratch anyways so you don't have to worry about him wanting kids.

He may have a motorcycle. I want to say that your future spouse may have a child most likely a son, but he is older like college first year or second year older and he won't really treat you as a mom more like a friend.

Either you or your future spouse went through a period of being abandoned/ feeling abandoned and disappointed by a past lover, but I see it being mostly you and the tarot card depicts a woman's back turned away from the cups which tells me you had kind of turned your back away from love for some time and it's obviously what you told me but it comes out again in tarot.

Okay there's a small chance you knew your future spouse in childhood, or you'll meet in your hometown but if not, this person will feel like home to you 'I feel like I have known you for lifetimes'. There is also emphasis on healing the inner child together and letting your inner child express themself openly without fear of judgement.

You and your future spouse might be the type to prefer to stay home and relax and be cute and cozy together away from the stress and anxiety of the outside world.

You two may also start a business together or a project. Maybe you'll buy a plot of land and build your dream home from scratch. But on top of that I do see your future spouse being super smart so some of your conversations are going to be very intellectually stimulating. He's a hard worker, dedicated and diligent you won't have o tell him twice to do something. If you tell him the faucet is leaking, he'll have it fixed by the end of the day or before you even notice it was leaking to begin with.

You may be faced with options on who to marry and I want you to know that you shouldn't feel pressured to pick one man over the other. Use your intuition trust yourself and don't make a choice because you feel rushed, or you may just end up making the wrong choice but if you don't know who to pick the cards say pick the man who puts in the most effort to be with you that's your future spouse.

I hope this resonates and any feedback is appreciated!

[sourslices]

i love my unsolved au SO MUCH.

so im going to shout some more stuff abt it into the void!

first, some stuff abt konoha:

there are three main areas,

konoha city: the area where all the snobby rich people live — basically the neighborhood for the elite. this is where sasuke lives, (among all the other nrt chrs that belong to clans in canon). families that live here are huge and come from old money

konoha underground: the area full of poor and homeless people. there are parts full of shady areas but they are a few tight-knit communities. the underground is BRUTAL... it's like predator and prey in here. you need to be careful with who you trust — because once you do trust someone, your life depends on it. a lot of orphaned children form groups to take care of each other and some of the workers try to look out for them too, but it's hard when you've gotta look after yourself too. anyway, you won't see someone from the k.ug hesitate to punch someone's face if they try smth with a kid... while the people of k.c will only turn a blind eye. d.d is a mixed crowd. anyway, naruto lived here.

downtown district: this is actually the in-between, and like i said, it's the mixed area. think of k.ug as the red light district, k.c is the rich neighbourhood and d.d. is the part of the city that's filled with barely adequate apartment buildings and small houses, a shit ton of markets and other establishments. there are people who are incredibly rich (new money, still barely enough to make k.c) and there are also people who are struggling to make ends meet and are )( close to finding themselves in k.ug. sakura grew up here.

ill update these areas as i go — this is simply just a few drafted ideas abt the city. i'll straighten it out after organising other ideas

moving onto chara stuff:

naruto: lived on the streets for a few years until hrz took him in. he's very familiar with the underground of konoha and could probably map out the sewers... if he could draw a map in the first place. anyway, he's a very street-smart kid (unlike me) with a bubbly yet (kinda) snarky personality. gets riled up pretty easily and argues with ssk and sai a lot — has a surprisingly optimistic look on life. he doesn't really understand all of skr's rants abt the cool robotics stuff but he likes to help her out and test the equipment for her.

when he was very young, nrt found a furry companion that's actually a fox demon. surprise surprise its the kyuubi. which is also why people were terrified of him even tho he was p young... kid was pretty isolated, but he tries to gloss over it ("at least i was able to stay away from the wrong crowd," he'd say)

sakura: growing up, skr's parents weren't really around, so she learned to both take care and entertain herself. developed a rather apathetic persona due to her childhood + years of bullying she faced — which went beyond just teasing abt her forehead ( which she was still bullied abt, also why she never got rid of her bangs in this au!) — she ended up spending most of her time either in the library or experimenting with shit in her room. she's a complete NERD btw!

sometimes she would set out to explore the markets, which is how she ended up meeting nrt because he found her on the outskirts of the d.d. girlie eventually becoming the apprentice of some cool inventor (don't ask how) and started building cool stuff. she lost her arm in an accident and built herself a prosthetic with the help of her mentor — it has a lot of cool functions added to it! btw, she's pretty adept at faking emotions, it's kinda scary... despite the fact i mentioned her being an apathetic kid, her apathy is really just a mask for her actual emotions. she can be a passionate kid once you actually get to know her... tho the only people she cares abt is the people she's friends with

sasuke: wooo this boy does not know how to emote besides being angry and rude. though he was a very cute and cheerful kid, sasuke grew up developing a sharp temper and a cruel tongue due to the environment he was raised in. his family, despite not physically neglecting him like sakura's parents, were emotionally absent. the only person that was rlly around for him eventually became too busy to hang around him (itachi). ssk thinks he can remember someone else along with his brother. someone who smiled all the time, someone who'd laugh loudly when ssk did smth. (said someone was... drumroll pls!.... shisui!!!!!) but the memories are pretty blurry because ssk was very young.

anyway, ssk struggles a lot with pressure and expectations etc etc. he's still a good fighter tho, and means well most of the time. the others learn to read in between the lines when it comes to him. sasuke actually saw nrt in some rich people gala, when the blonde boy was under hrz's wing (p.s.: nrt ended up running away because he vehemently disliked being a charity case) — nrt actually started disliking him from this point even tho ssk had 0 opinion abt him — but they didn't actually meet until their teens. also! ssk has pretty frail health, which he did eventually overcome... but he still needs that mask which u see in his chara design!!!

sai: sai is a part of something called ROOT — designed abt danzo and orochi and built by kabuto, there might've been days when sai understood humans a little more when he lived alongside a boy called shin who told him about a boy with a different name who sai was designed after. anyway, shin d-worded and sai was left alone and guided by danzo.

sai does not understand humans and emotions. his curiousity is piqued when he observes the others' behaviours and its up to skr ssk and nrt to guide him on that subject. skr is immensely curious abt sai's programming and fiddles with his parts a lot — he lets her. they find certain commands in the coding and skr is faced with a challenge as she tries to help sai escape ROOT's clutches in his programming.

other stuff i want to mention:

naruto found kyuubi the fox when he was very little, too young to remember his age. they've been buddies ever since... even if kyuubi hisses at like. everyone including him.

naruto was taking in by hiruzen when he was nine. he ran away a few days later. hrz couldn't find take him back in ever again. (kyuubi never trusted hrz which is why he basically ran away, even from nrt. nrt trusts the fox's instincts which is why he leaves!!)

a few days before hrz, nrt met sakura who was exploring different areas and writing stuff into her journal. they talked abt all kinds of stuff, tho skr did most of the talking and nrt just listened. even those skr cld be weird, nrt really liked the girl and thought she was cute. plus kyuubi liked her enough — and when nrt ran away and found kyuubi with skr in their "special spot", he decided to become best friends with her!!! yay!!!!

("zephyr this is not how friendships work-" HUSH. they're NINE.)

ssk meets skr and nrt when theyre thirteen. it happens when skr's parents meet with ssk's parents and the two kids are brought along. the thing goes south but the two kids do end up conversing because skr is curious abt the uchiha manor and asks a lot of questions. ssk finds it annoying but he answers it anyway.

a few weeks later he runs away from home. skr and nrt stumble upon him while "exploring".

they become friends, eventually and slowly. ssk also ends up going back home. (he doesn't stay there forever tho so... yeah!)

heres the thing abt their families...

for naruto, he idealises parents. he doesn't know what they're actually like because he's never had any, and the only family he has is one of his choice instead of his blood.

for sakura, she knows all parents are different through observation and conversations. sakura's parents were pretty apathetic with her and their business trips only became longer and more frequent. she was raised by a governor who eventually moved away and skr never saw them again. sakura's parents basically dont know who she is because they were barely around to find out — and they find themselves faced with an intelligent, sharp-witted girl who has not even an ounce of love for them. the only times they talk is when they argue.

for sasuke, he thinks he can remember a loving mother and a caring brother and maybe even a cheerful cousin. however, his mother passed away and so did his cousin in an accident only ssk survived. his father remarried and his brother became too busy and ssk was left all alone in a cold home and a vast "family"

for sai, he might've had a brother once. he lost him anyway.

he still doesn't know how to feel about it.

ill come up with more stuff later on... omg cant wait

[skzhocomments]

I can read your smile - Choi Minho SHINee Fanfic - Chapter 12 - A heartbreaking past

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 11 | Chapter 13

---

Chapter 12 - A heartbreaking past

word count: 2k words

~Crystal's POV~

Well, that went well. I grimaced taking back the two plates to the kitchen.

My other co-worker came to me and laughed. I bet he could barely wait to make fun of me.

"So, did the guy you like who came with another girl reject your free dessert?" He mocked.

"Guy I like? Where did that come from?" I asked with venom in my voice.

"Come on, Crystal, it's obvious."

"How is that obvious?"

"The way you look at him." He shrugged.

"And what is that way?"

"Come on, it's so obvious you're in love with the guy, it's painful at this point. You've been looking at their table the whole time, and it's like there's hearts in your eyes when you watch him. Not that hard to notice."

"We are just friends."

"Crystal, people don't look at friends the way you look at him. Be honest with yourself."

"You might just be really delusional." I started. "I don't have feelings for him. And he has a girlfriend."

"I think you're the delusional one, bestie." He shrugged and left, and I took a spoonful of the cake and ate it spitefully. It tasted good, at least, even if the taste in my mouth was bitter.

Fuck Julia.

Seeing her brought back all the negative feelings from my past, and I started feeling really shitty.

I couldn't wait for my shift to be over, but I had two more hours to go.

Oh, and I still have to take the check back to their table and see that bitch again.

~

My feet were killing me and I was unusually tired by the end of my shift.

I quickly grabbed my jacket – it tended to get cold during September nights – and I made my way out of the restaurant.

"Crystal?" A familiar voice spoke, and I turned my head in its direction.

"Minho? What are you doing here?"

"I came to pick you up..."

"Why? What happened to your date?" I raised a brow.

"About that... I'm so sorry, Crystal. I was wrong about her..."

"You don't have to apologise to me."

"I do... I had no idea you two shared a past together..."

"What, did she actually tell you anything?" I chuckled bitterly.

I really hated remembering that time of my life.

"Let's go home and talk. What do you say?"

I nodded and we started walking home together in silence, breathing in the night air.

At one point, a cold wind brushed past us, and I started to shiver. Minho then took his coat off and put it on my shoulders, and I thanked him, and I tried not to think about him, or Julia.

At least not until we got home.

~

"Okay. What did she tell you?" I smiled as we sat down on the sofa in the living room, Minho bringing me a hot cup of tea.

"Just that her family fostered you for a while, but you weren't a great fit..." he hesitated, and I let out a big sigh.

"Yea. I guess that's the gist of it. I was a spoiled child who didn't fit in, so they sent me back." I laughed.

"But what's the truth?" Minho spoke softly and touched my hand with his, and I let him hold it. It was warm.

"Do you really want to know?" I looked into his eyes, and he nodded. "We're going to be here for hours."

"That's fine. We'll sleep in tomorrow." He smiled kindly, and I brushed away two stray tears that made their way on my cheeks.

"Okay. I've never told anyone this story before, so... it might be a bit hard... to tell it."

"It's okay." His thumb rubbed circles on my knuckles in a comforting way.

---

~Flashback~

~12 years ago~

"She's such a smart little girl!" Mrs. Lewis said and touched the back of my head.

I never liked Mrs. Lewis. She was always kind when people were around, but as soon as they left, she would grab the Discipline Stick and hit my palms hard, and sometimes the soles of my feet, until they bled. I could never run during Sports the next day, and the teacher would get really angry and scream at me, and the sports teacher was old, and scary. I didn't like him either.

"Oh, is that so? We see she has perfect marks in maths-" The woman spoke, but was soon interrupted by the man next to her that was holding her hand.

"And she's already learning an advanced curriculum, even if she's only 9?!"

"Indeed, she's a really sharp-witted child." Mrs. Lewis complimented me.

"Oh, isn't that perfect, dear?" The woman teared up, and the man just nodded eagerly.

"She would get along with our little princess so well!"

"It would be a good environment to grow up in." Mrs. Lewis approved, and they signed some papers, and the next thing I knew, I was in the back of their car heading somewhere far away.

~

I now have to refer to Mr. and Mrs. Lee as 'dad' and 'mom', and they told me on the way 'home' that I now have a sister called Julia, and that I have to love her, and play with her whenever she wants, and also teach her things, because she is not as academically gifted, whatever that means.

Julia is cute, and she has blond curls that are hanging proudly over her shoulders. They are so different from my straight, black hair. She would always say 'I am beautiful, and you're not, but that's okay, because we are sisters.' and then we'd play until dawn.

I love Julia.

And she loves me too.

And I love playing with someone my age.

Kids at the orphanage are either older or younger than me, but me and Julia are both 9, and we play with her dolls. She has so many! I've never seen so many in my life!

If I'm nice to her, she lets me play.

Mom and Dad love me too. They feed me every day, and they are happy if I get a good grade.

I have a nice family, and I am happy.

~

~11 years ago~

"What do you mean, she stole your puppet?" Mom is frowning.

"I haven't stolen anything!" I defend myself. "I don't even like that puppet!"

"Shut your mouth, Christine. Don't interrupt us when we speak!" Dad is screaming at me. But why? I haven't stolen anything.

"My name is Crystal, not Christine." I mutter under my breath. I hate it when they call me Christine. They say Crystal is a bad name. 'It's the name of a whore', they say, and we'll change it if they adopt me.

If.

"No, it's not!" Mom slaps me, and my cheek hurts and gets red immediately.

Julia is crying, still claiming that I stole her puppet.

I didn't, but they don't want to believe me.

~

~10 years ago~

"You're old enough now, why aren't you more responsible?!" Dad shouts. I don't understand why he's so upset. I got 90%. It's a good grade.

"Look, Daddy! I got full marks!" Julia smiles happily.

"Just as expected from my princess! See, Christine? You could've done better. We used to think you're smarter than this."

"But I did her project too." I frown. "She got full marks off my work."

"What did you just say?" Dad gets up from the table.

Oh-oh. That's bad.

I start running away, realising too late that he is in a bad mood today. He catches me by the hair, and I scream, so he grabs my mouth and squeezes hard.

I shut up.

"Julia, darling, will you bring daddy the wooden paddle?"

"NO!" I start crying this time. I know what that means.

Julia smirks at me.

She is happy.

She loves seeing me get hurt. Says she hates me getting attention.

That's why she hid the puppet in my room one year ago, when Mom stopped loving me and hit me for the first time.

She brings the paddle, and Dad bends me over the table and hits me as hard as he can.

I wince in pain, and I scream, and cry, and cry, and cry, but he doesn't care. He hits me again.

And again.

And again.

It hurts walking afterwards, and I can no longer sit down, or lay on the bed on my back. I have to lay on my tummy instead.

When I look in the mirror the next morning, there are big bruises on my butt, and I know it's going to take a while for them to go away.

It's still sore, but I can at least sit down in school now.

I don't tell anyone, but I cry myself to sleep for two weeks afterwards, until the bruises fade away.

Mom checks them.

Once they're gone, Julia does something, or says something, and Dad gets angry again, and he hits me with the paddle or with the bath brush.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

~

~9 years ago~

"We are sorry to hear this one's been giving you trouble." Mrs. Lewis says and smacks the back of my head.

I no longer cry when being hit, and I don't move away.

I know better now.

"She is a monster!" Mom – no, Mrs. Lee says.

"She is a compulsive liar, a troublemaker, and she doesn't fit in with our perfect family!" Mr. Lee shouts. "We can't believe you raised such a horrible child!"

"Apologies, Mr. Lee. We promise you we're going to take care of her bad behaviour."

She sends me to the "Discipline room" - a fancy word for the cellar, and I am only given water and bread until I 'learn my lesson'.

But what is there to learn?

They let me out after two weeks, and Mrs. Lewis tells me I'm 'damaged goods' now. No one is going to want to adopt me with my record. I am just wasting the orphanage's money. I won't accomplish anything with my life.

I'm going to live under that roof until I'm 18, then I'm going to leave and never see them again.

That sounds good.

I don't want Mrs. Lewis to be right about me, so I will only focus on studying, and I will go to university and get a good job.

Yes, it sounds like a good plan.

I will endure the beatings, the hunger pangs and Mrs. Lewis' mean remarks, and I will study, and study, and study, until I move away.

~

~End of flashback~

---

"Crystal... I'm so sorry... I don't even know what to say..." Minho teared up and hugged me tightly.

"You wanted to know..." I spoke, crying as well.

"I did. I'm so glad you trusted me enough to tell me..."

"I just... it was so hard to understand why they did that... It felt like there was a huge gaping hole in my soul that was bleeding out sorrow and hurt, and I just couldn't comprehend what I did that was so bad."

"You didn't do anything. You were just a kid."

"I'm so sorry, Minho. You were so excited about Julia..."

"Who cares about her? Don't even think about her anymore, ever. She or her piece of shit family don't deserve to be even a passing thought in your mind." He caressed the back of my hair and held me tight.

I closed my eyes.

He smelled comforting. I haven't even opened his room while he was gone, not wanting to invade his privacy, and it felt so horrible to have his smell disappear from this house and be replaced with mine.

I missed his smell.

I missed him.

"I'm glad you're back." I whispered and hugged him tighter.

"Me too. I missed talking to you."

He let go and we looked at each other for a while, and it was the sea incident all over again, so instead of being foolish like last time and trying to kiss him, I averted my eyes first, not daring to cross yet another boundary and go through another rejection.

We were simply friends, and that was fine.

He heard me out.

It was the first time I ever told someone my story, and what abuse I've been through, and he paid attention, and held my hand, and hugged me tightly and cried with me.

That was good enough. I am content that this was the only type of relationship we were ever going to have.

That was okay.

"It's already 3 AM." I chuckled, wiping away the remaining tears that were still streaming down my face.

"Time goes by quickly in good company." Minho smiled, and I just nodded.

"Let's go to sleep." I stood up and stretched my arms with a yawn. Crying was tiring.

---

Chapter 11 | Chapter 13

[deke-rivers-1957]

The Greatest Hero in the Empire Part 2

An unknown amount of time passes. I open my eyes and they are met with the beautiful face of a woman. Her eyes are kind and loving, and I seem to be caught in their gaze. I take in the scent of the perfume mixed with the smell of fresh, clean, linens. I sit up in bed realizing it's the empress. Even though I'm mute I'm speechless that she'd even want to be near me.

"Your name slave?"

The empress calling me slave somehow hurts more like just being a slave is a disappointment to her. I'm stunned, and can't do anything but gaze at her. Her beauty is unlike anything I've ever seen before, and I feel that she's perfect. She's like a goddess who I would do anything for. If she commanded me to sacrifice myself for her I would.

I quickly push that thought away since that's completely wrong for a slave like me to even think of something like that. I realize that I haven't told her my name and she's probably very angry with me. For once I might get punished for not speaking. I try to speak for the first time in ages.

"To-to-to-o-by."

It's very hard for me to talk but at least the empress didn't punish me yet. I can see her looking at me and I realize I'm completely naked. As much as I feel vulnerable at having a woman of power look at me this way, I'm just glad she isn't angry. I look at her waiting for her to speak.

"Kneel before me, slave known as Toby."

I have my command and even though I'm still injured, her saying that somehow doesn't make it hurt. I immediately do as she says. I get out of the bed and kneel before her. I look down at the floor as she walks around my naked body. My heart is beating out of my chest as she is circling me like a predator ready to pounce on its prey. What will happen now?

"Hold still."

I feel her hands on my jaw, and I open my mouth for her. I wince slightly out of fear, but do as she says. I can't deny anything she wants me to do for her. The mere thought of not letting her do what she wants fills me with a panic unlike anything I've ever felt. I'm completely at her mercy at this point, and can only imagine what would happen if I didn't obey her.

"So obedient."

I look up at her now. Something in me told me that's what she would want. I'm ready to do anything she asks.

Which is why she strikes me out of nowhere I'm just absolutely shocked. My head is spinning and my teeth are clattering. The pain's intense, and the shock of what just happened is overwhelming me. This' the last thing I expected from the Empress. Why would she do this to me? What did I do that was so horrible to make her want to strike me with all her might?

"How interesting. Not so much as a look of anger. It's as if there's no sense of resistance to you."

I can only look at the empress in shock. I'm so confused. I'm in pain, and feel scared for what might happen next. And yet I feel strangely calm. Why am I not fighting back? Something inside me is telling me that I shouldn't fight back. I'm not quite sure what it could be other than being trained to be a slave.

"Are you learned?"

It takes me a moment to understand the question. I'm just a slave, and we didn't have much schooling growing up. What does she mean by "learned?" I decide to be honest with her and see what happens. I can only struggle to answer her.

"N-no. I'm-I'm a h-ha-har-hard wo-wor-worker. I j-just do as I'm t-to-told."

I look down to the floor, ashamed that I'm not smart. It's clear that she's in a better position than a slave like me. I watch her leave the room. I feel like my answer disappointed the empress. I don't dare move knowing that I could be punished if I did. She comes back after what feels like only a few minutes with a guard and a chair. She sits down as the guard stands behind her.

"Not a single inch moved. You are obedient."

I have no idea what she wants me to do but I'm glad that she didn't punish me again. I notice her speaking to me as her guard pulls out a dagger. I think he's about to strike her but I'm frozen with fear. Is the Empress being assassinated? Is it time for me to give my life to protect her? All of my instincts tell me to leap in front of this blade to protect her.

I jump on top of the empress shielding her. I can feel him hitting me as if he wants me to let go. More guards come in and start attacking me. I don't know what I did wrong. Can't they see I'm only trying to keep the empress safe? I start to tear up in anger that one of the empress' guards would want to attack her.

"STOP!"

Everything stops as the empress commands. I'm still shielding her but the guards stop hitting me. I have no idea what's happening or if I'm still going to be punished.

"This slave was not my attacker. I setup a ploy to test his loyalty. You may stand down. You shall not be punished guards. Fetch a medic to treat the slave's wounds."

I stand up so that the empress can get off the floor. I'm relieved that this seems to be all a test for me. Even though I'm in a lot of pain and start to feel faint I'm still glad I helped her. I look at the empress and she almost looks concerned that I'm starting to slump to the floor.

"Guards catch him."

I fall right into the guards arms unconscious. The shock and pain was too much for me. When I wake, I'm lying on my stomach in bed. I'm so confused. How did I get here? Was it all a dream? My vision's still cloudy from the blow to my head. My brain's fuzzy and I can't make sense of anything around me. Was my whole life nothing but a dream?

"Medic, prepare an anesthetic salve for the slave's wounds."

The empress' still here. I'm even more confused as to why she wants to be in this room so long and why she cares about me. I feel the medic starting to apply what she called a salve on my back. It's nice and cool on my back. It has a very soothing smell too. I'm actually feeling sleepy because of it.

As confusing as this all is, I'm just glad the empress is safe. Her perfume and the salve smells so nice I can't stay awake anymore. I fall asleep after a few minutes.

[fallingsunflower]

Sorry in advance but this is gonna be a long rant! Why is our society so fucked up?? I work in a hospital as a nurse and of course we’re overworked and on our limits (not because of Covid but because we’re severely understaffed in general). Why are so many nurses are such cunts and „slaves“ for their fucked up „societal standards“ and everyone and everything that is or appears different will be labeled as wrong or „not normal“?! Don’t they have their own lives to fucking care about??

Two examples: 1. we have Ukrainian war victims in our hospital and sure some of them are pretty demanding and not always the nicest but they have trauma and are in pain because they lost literally part of their body’s and their homes, family etc and will have to endure years of medical procedures. So I get not being all happy sunshine all day. But so many nurses are so vile they tell them they hope their country gets destroyed and bombed even more and how so much would only be „propaganda“ from Ukraine and how the Russians aren’t even that bad and how the Russian soldiers also have family and bla bla bla! Well guess what? Russian started the war and no one forces the Russian soldiers to fight Putins war! The ukrain people just defend themselves for the most part.

2. example: I overheard a conversation of 2 nurses and one was telling the other how she’s concerned that her 10!! year old son doesn’t have a girlfriend yet! How insane are they?? This same nurse also told how she just bought her son a gaming chair and desk for playing computer games and how he just learned to tie his shoes (at the age of 10 years old!!) because he didn’t want to earlier and only now did because he wanted a certain pair of shoes which only came with shoe laces! She also said how he often asks her to prepare him his sandwiches etc because he’s to lazy to do so. So this guy will either become some sort of Sheldon cooper (as he’s allegedly pretty smart) or some macho guy who lets his girlfriend do anything for him when he’s older! That second nurse then told the concerned „mum nurse“ how she had a neighbor girl who didn’t have a boyfriend till she was 14 and everyone including the mum of that kid thought she would never get a boyfriend and how this girl always would be by himself but all of a sudden she started to have a boyfriend and had a few boyfriends since then ( she’s only barely 16) and she’s „finally normal“ in their fucked up reality! What is wrong with people??

Hi love. No worries. You're always allowed to rant here.

First, some people just shouldn't have jobs with other people. Whether they be nurses, social workers, police officers, etc. The lack of people skills astounds me on a daily basis. The nurses saying they hope they hope those people's countries get bombed more should lose their jobs and licenses. End of story. If there was a way to report them, please do, even if it's anonymously. The damage that has on people's mental health is scary. Their lives are in their hands in more ways than one.

I'm also not sure why dating is pushed on people, especially young kids. I'm assuming it's partially a generational/conservative point of view (not applicable to everyone, of course, but just generally). Young people, specifically kids, need a change to be young. If that means dating, then okay. But if that means hanging out with friends, making stupid decisions, playing, etc. then that's perfectly healthy and normal too. I don't know why that's so hard for people to understand.

I'm sorry you're witnessing all this, and also that you're overworked. It's been crazy by me too with overworking healthcare workers, as well as teachers and aids. I wish there was a better system

[theyoungprinceling]

The first time Ling was drugged he was twelve.

After lunch and studies he decided to go see Lan Fan on the training field. It was much more entertaining to watch her than to stay inside. That, and on occasion he was able to spar with her and get some exercise in. Although she usually beat him most times...and got flustered and apologized soon after she got him on the ground. But Ling would laugh it off because it was just nice to spend time outside with her.

On the path there he started to feel odd, groggy. His limbs began to feel heavy and it was difficult to walk straight, then it was like he was walking through mud. His first thought was that he didn't eat enough, despite how big the lunch was. It had been a couple hours since then though. Maybe that was it. Or his blood sugar was really working against him.

He didn't even make it halfway to the field before he stumbled and almost faceplanted into the ground. A woman- he didn't even notice he was being followed- caught him just before he hit the ground. Everything still spun.

The woman said, "You look sick. Why don't I take you back inside?"

Inside sounded great. Ling needed more food or simply to sit or lay down for a while. He tried to look up but the action made him dizzy so he kept his eyes on the ground.

Ling said, "Yes, that sounds nice. Thank you, ma'am."

The woman adjusted her grip on him and held him up in a more comfortable way for both of them, holding his arm over her shoulder and her other arm around his waist instead of both her arms wrapped around his middle.

She was just a worker around the palace, Ling had no reason not to trust her. He could barely move on his own anyway and his vision was so blurry he couldn't see where to go. He followed her with no resistance.

They had perhaps only walked for a few minutes before everything was a whirlwind. The woman made some noise, Ling was headed to the ground again, new arms were around him and he was being held up again.

He had a total of five seconds to understand what just happened once he saw the woman on the ground with Fu standing over her. Ling didn't have to have clear vision to know he was angry. He didn't have to have clear vision to know he was being held up by Lan Fan.

This was another kidnapping attempt but...that didn't explain why he felt so odd.

"I don't feel so well," Ling mumbled in response to whatever it was Lan Fan said.

He felt safe in Lan Fan's arms so he let himself pass out.

XXX

When Ling started to come around he couldn't help but groan at his headache. A hammer may as well be banging against his head. The inside of his mouth also felt strange, dry and his tongue was heavy. It reminded him of when he mixed food together that should not have been mixed. His limbs were heavy.

He exhaled slowly and opened his eyes, immediately wanting to close them because of the light overhead, but turned his head to the side instead. Everything was blurred together for a few seconds but the more Ling scanned the area, the clearer his vision became.

He was in his room, laying on his bed. Fu sat on a chair next to it and Lan Fan...She sat against the opposite wall reading a book. Ling swallowed hard and attempted to speak but his throat was too dry. Fu, smart man that he was, got the message and already had a glass of water prepared for him.

After Ling finished downing half the glass, his head lifted up slightly by Fu, he felt much more refreshed.

"What happened?" Ling asked. "Why did I feel so weird before?"

"There was an intruder in the palace- the woman who was with you- and she tampered with your food. Forgive me, Young Lord, I hadn't searched the kitchen yet. I was checking the rooms."

Ling frowned, shook his head. "I don't blame you for this, Fu. I should've noticed something was wrong with my food."

Although, everything tasted normal. Nothing was off about it, as far as he can remember. He did eat rather quickly, though...Sometimes he ate so quick he didn't actually taste what he was eating. Maybe that was the problem.

"You wouldn't have noticed," Fu told him. "You don't have to worry about that woman anymore. She was taken to prison."

Ling smiled. "Thank you, Fu. You too, Lan Fan. You're always saving me."

Lan Fan put her book down and walked to the bedside. "It's my vow. I wouldn't have it any other way."

Ling would. He'd like to be able to fight and protect them as well. Fu and Lan Fan were the only people he had in this world. They were his family. He couldn't imagine what life would be like without either of them in it.

"I guess there is one good thing that came from this. I know what it feels like to be drugged now, so I'll know for the future what to look out for."

"It won't happen again, Young Lord," Fu said. "I did a thorough check of everything and questioned everyone while you were resting."

Ling nodded. "I trust you, Fu. Just by the off chance it happens again, I'll know what's happening."

XXX

Ling followed Edward out of the hospital, listening to him complain about the shot he was given and tossing the bag of medication up and down. He didn't expect Ed's question.

"Do drugs work on you?" His best friend's voice was full of skepticism. Ling couldn't blame him for that, all things considered. "You swallow everything so fast. I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't affected..."

Ling placed his hands in his sleeves and shrugged. "You'd be surprised, Ed. You know what they say: anything's possible."

[dreadwhoop]

Reviewing the All Elite Wrestling personnel 2024 Edition (Part 2) -

GET RID OF -

Continuing the time-honored tradition of an ex-WWE talent failing to live up to their hype, from Ruby Soho to Saraya to now Mercedes Mone, this one is particularly jarring because it has been one cultivated from before last year's review. I don't know why Mercedes insists on making the wig stay on - the idea of it falling OFF would be an incredible spot but her ego prevents her success. Not to mention she's looking like Dante Martin in terms of having to take an extra step each time - really makes me worried Adam Cole is also done - foot injuries are terrible tragedies on otherwise good workers. The point is I'm not saying Mercedes cannot have some purpose in this company but it's obvious not in the position she's in because it has only highlighted better wrestlers like Stephanie Vaquer or Willow Nightingale or Hikaru Shida or even Kamille. The epitome of stagnation. Also I'm half-convinced she's after Tony Khan's money in more ways than one.

The CM Punk replacement didn't go so well did it? Started out okay, ended up as expected - a candle already burned down decides to light up like a firework and fizzled out like a dud. Adam Copeland might be one of the most impressive wastes of investment by AEW because he didn't have to work half as hard and would of gotten twice as much from it. Rather than being a wise veteran he catered to the crowd. But didn't Punk injure his foot? Yes but it was by accident not intent of a choice from otherwise breaking your fused neck. But didn't Sting do the same kind of dives and he's older? Sure and I didn't like it either what's your point? At least he wasn't doing it nearly as relentless and neither are a lot of smart talent at his age. Anyone who has to keep up with the talents decades younger are not providing a future but reminding us the past is gone. It was a good run Adam now walk your career out with some dignity before you limp off as a miserable failure.

Speaking of CM Punk, here's a guy being punished entirely for being his friend! (Hi Serena Deeb waves) - Danhausen could of easily been a hot property and yet AEW are being petty by devaluing his importance to the point of persona non-grata. If you don't want to use him then release him you're effectively committing career malpractice. Danhausen is WWE-bound when his contract is up but until then he's a shocking reminder why AEW has a dying fanbase - talent they could have grow it are not allowed to show up.

A loser incarnate. If we were to be generous and say 'favor hire' I don't even know if it qualifies the analogy - when you have had the likes of Leva Bates, Rebel, even newer prospects like Harley Cameron trying to wonkily work through her ineptitude, someone who is meant to coach a division where more than half the roster already surpasses her career at half the time makes me realise nice people are only nice if they can back it up with good wrestling. Is she the female Joey Janela? Maybe too harsh. You know who would of been a better coach? Allysin Kay. At least she's a solid talent and can teach a lot to others.

Wrong place, wrong time, wrong gimmick. Everything about them looks 2nd-rate, derivative, and in bad taste. So naturally they should join Moxley's new faction! In all seriousness, these two have floundered to find footing in this company and yet when guys like MxM Collection or The Outrunners come in with equally ridiculous gimmicks the crowd clicked. Putting with Lance Archer felt like an afterthought and debutting so close to Bray Wyatt's untimely demise didn't help. Generally, as creative as I can be, even I struggle to figure out how to make them useful. The only thing I can muster is the concept they're so completely anti-hate they beat people up only to let them win or they go after Mox's faction in an almost shoot way, kidnapping Renee Paquette, and asking what's more important - your morals or your marriage. It's almost Brian Pillman cliche but pretty much anything in AEW is a Brian Pillman wannabee. Otherwise these guys have no purpose in this company and should return to the indies where they belong.

By contrast, the problem with Private Party isn't a case of wrong place or wrong time or wrong gimmick. It's the simple fact they're not already a successful tag team and after 5 years all they can lean on now is the hope they can join some pro-Black faction with MVP and Lashley when they should be established like the Acclaimed are or something memorable beyond their 'fluke' win to the Young Bucks back in 2019. Imagine coasting your careers off this one win? Imagine how little it means now you get choked out by Marina Shafir. Being jobbed out too many times and made to look like weaklings to a guy like Keith Lee, who has not even shown his face more than what a handful of times this entire year, maybe less I forget his last showing, but this was the last time I truly remember Private Party having relevance…oh wait remember their time with Matt Hardy? Yeah it's just bad after bad after bad with no sustained importance. They're jokes and I resent their longevity in this company.

Speaking of people coasting on careers, here's the Walmart Will Ospreay! Excuse me my bad - the Dollar Store Hologram! Wait wait I can go one better - the spare Dante Martin! Wow. How has he not realised his role in this company, being constant reminder of the problems of keeping Jericho or others I've excluded from helping said company, indicates either he's got a hollow dome between his ears or he's in denial of the fact there's nothing for him. We're so oversaturated with high-flyers now nobody would miss him. Nobody. You already forgot who I was talking about didn't you?

I've given up with this guy. One of the most talented people to ever grace the wrestling world and yet never reached its full potential all because he felt undeserving of it. The amount of chances this guy has got to go to the top and the amount of times he's proven he belongs at the top is why the fact he's never been THE GUY is one of wrestling's biggest letdowns. I can't stand loser mentality. It's not humble, it's not inclusive, and it's not going to make people enjoy a product when simpering crybabies insist on telling everyone it's their "Last Ride" since they BEGAN IN THIS COMPANY 5 YEARS AGO. How can I even want to get rid of younger talent who could still turn their careers around like the above mentioned Private Party or Action Andretti and not include Dustin Rhodes? In many ways he's in the exact spot Jeff Jarrett was in last year - get Oldust off TV and make him a backstage guy.

Bit of a late-minute inclusion because I've noticed a worrying thing about his voice recently and it seems to be breaking. Even if it's just an off-day or two the fact remains he's now getting long in the tooth to connect with fans. If AEW wants to grow they need to find a good replacement and the only reason why Schiavone hasn't been replaced is because they don't trust anyone - another classic case of AEW not understanding how to be anything but a 2nd-rate version of what existed before - why be good when you can be competent on a consistent basis? Celebrate mediocrity!

The last spot is usually reserved for someone I think people may have some issue with getting rid of because it requires a bit more discussion. Not here. A grifter. A parasite. A glorified fan. Alicia Atouttletale. Congratulations MJF - you're dating the female Excalibur - put a mask on her and you'll have it all. I'm so tired of evil people covering up as good people because they want to be as sociable as possible but the moment a talent raises a point against your bias you suddenly go nuclear and try to destroy everything established. It's petty pitiful behaviour. No apologies or regrets from them. But hey - prove me wrong and make her replace Tony Schiavone above if you think she's good enough for it. They won't. It won't put butts in seats. Make her replace Renee Paquette - oh wait it won't happen. Not even Lexy Nair will get replaced by her. Where is she on AEW's Totem Pole for her to effectively stall Britt Baker's career? The only reason it's not the No. 1 worst thing in AEW this year is because the Brawlout footage embaressment happened. Think about the tolerance people have for backstage garbage and how badly it has affected AEW's brand and now think about how she's gotten away with it because people behind the scenes support her. Imagine what she'd get away with if people knew who she was. Max - go to WWE and leave this trash behind before you embarrass yourself an inumerable amount of times. Wonder if MJF is still tight with Drake…

Ususally I don't include talent not officially included on AEW's roster page but if Anthony Ogogo and Lee Moriarty are listed under Shane Taylor Promotions but not the guy himself then I call it a technical oversight. Ahem - Shane Taylor is the mid-form of Mo and Mabel from Men on a Mission. Also, now we got MVP, Bobby Lashley, and Shelton Benjamin here…yeah thanks for the good memories…weren't you the lesser Keith Lee…?

[cryptometaphor]

ACP cuck: The problem with you ultra leftists is you all actually despise revolution. You're never going to win white working class people over with "actually I want things to get worse for colonialists!"

Sarah: The blood of third world children can at the very least be paid back in your discomfort white boy.

Me: That's why we gotta sell them the rope they hang themselves with subtlety. Stalin Funko-Pops.

Sarah: Babe that's disgusting lol

Me: That's the point. Like, the economy improves for better countries, better cultures, and and dumbass incels are clapping their hands over some ethot sticking a Stalin Funko-Pop up her twat.

ACP cuck: And yet you call us the fascists. You're just exporting fascism.

Me: I'll be honest with you guys. I don't fucking care either way. The economy is fake, the only workers are lumpen, the tech is useless. Every facet of western society is just tiresome. Ultimately I don't care if y'all get nuked, starve to death, work forever in coal mines, the only thing I care about is this girl right here.

Sarah: That is some heavy handed hard-right individualism but awwww lol.

Me: Everything about you is perfect hon. And this society does not provide the means for me or anyone to give you what you deserve. I would plant a garden of flowers, some motherfucker wants to mow it down because the homeowners association says it's not up to code, I want to give you a legacy of children who love us, they make us send them to those clown schools and crush their spirits, the only reason I'm alive right now is you. And of course my unyielding rage.

Sarah: Baby... that's how I feel. I can't stand these infantile nazbols lol

ACP cuck: Nazbols?! You two are just nihilists! Like Jim, you say you wanna give Sarah all this stuff. How are you going to do that in a broken economy and destabilizing society? Cultural Marxism isn't real Marxism. It's liberalism.

Me: Ok imma bout to say something that makes me "lose frame" so all my incel homies are gonna lecture me about it, however the truth is I'm fucking pissed. I know I'm smart, beautiful, talented, cunning, ruthless, AMAZING

ACP cuck: wow... lol

Me: And yet I'm a fucking bum. I know it. Sarah loves me despite it. I know that too. But she shouldn't have too. She should have that perfect life, and I don't know how to give it to her. Why should anyone, anywhere, have anything, if she can't? If I can't?

ACP cuck: Again, that's liberalism.

Sarah: Well more so individualism.

ACP cuck: Whatever. My point is you should care about your fellow man. You should care about humanity in general. Jim you're the prime example of what alienation does to a motherfucker. You cannot see past what is good for you. Even Sarah. Who I'm not saying you don't love, you clearly do... Is just a proxy for all the things you need to convince yourself that you're a good person. Because humans need each other and you've genuinely trained yourself not to need anyone as an anti-social parasite. A sociopath. Like, that's why you've had so many failed relationships. Because you're longing for connection but can't bring yourself to admit maybe being an asshole to everybody isn't the answer. You think it's justice, it's just cruelty, you're being cruel to yourself.

Me: If there were anyone I'd be willing to admit maybe I'm in the wrong for, it's this wonderful bitch right here lol.

Sarah: (makes this weird noise)

Me: wth was that lol

Sarah: You are so fucking adorable yet say the most reactionary things ever lol. What's so special about me? Like, I'm mid-AF.

ACP cuck: Glad you said it and not me.

Me: Mid-AF? You're beautiful!

Sarah: Well yeah you think...

Me: No. Like, it isn't "oh man I wanna fuck her", I do, all the time. But "God has to exist to create something so perfect."

Sarah: You're blowing your hookah smoke up my ass but go on lol

Me: You're smart, you're aggressive, you're opinionated, you're absolutely ruthless to people and I love it.

ACP cuck: "wow, she's such a bitch. She's almost as evil as me..."

Me: You're God damn right. Life out there is hard, it's not worth it most of the time. Just dumbass people saying dumbass things. Every moment of their lives is a fake and gay psyop against themselves. No virtues, no ambitions, it's all for show. All of it. But Sarah is so genuine, and despite how people bitch and whine how mean and racist she is, she cares. Why she cares I don't know. But she cares about you, all of you, like a mother. Not like my parents who don't know how to give a fuck about anyone. But like a real mother. She lashes out because she wants more for all of you, where as I don't. I hate you. I could never forgive you for the things you've done to me or her. I will make sure you're suffering is cosmic like I have no mouth and I must scream, and you'll wear your shit grin and do it with a smile while you experience an agony only religion could begin to describe.

ACP cuck: The fuck did I do to you lol

Me: When you say some retarded gay shit like "you're not entitled to love" or "you can function without this or that" you know what I'm going through, and you think it's funny. It's gonna be fucking hilarious when you're working ten hours a day for pennies you fucking western piglet.

ACP cuck: Nigga I didn't say any of that. I'm sure your exes did or something and yes many people are stupid as hell. So you just wanna hurt everyone ever just to make sure you hurt the people who deserve to hurt?

Me: YES all need to hurt. Except Sarah.

ACP cuck: Sarah is gonna hurt too! Sarah is hurting and you're contributing to it!

Me: Out of a sense of justice. And the neat part? Sarah will forgive me. She'll still love me despite it. That's why she'll always be the better person and I just want the money and lavish status to spoil her so I can pretend I'm better than I actually am. And meanwhile she's the one ridiculed and bullied. Deep down Sarah is a good person. Deep down I'm not.

Sarah: Baby... You're not a bad person.

ACP cuck: I mean he pretty much is lol. I'll invent a new-term just for him. Serial-killer socialism.

Me: Based. I even got an anthem for it

Sarah: lol! You can't insult Jim!

ACP cuck: I was making an observation

Me: (mockingly imitating his voice) "I was making an observation" observe yo momma's fat titties

Sarah: LOL

ACP cuck: You know, I didn't have to let you speak. You can leave my mother out of your mouth.

Me: Will Smith over here... "Keep my mom's name out yo God damn mouth!"

Sarah: LOL omg I actually fell out of my chair lol

Me: Ya see that right there? That's Marxist value of labor.

ACP cuck: What? How?

Me: Look at her laughing. It makes me feel like the wealthiest man in the world to be smiling.

ACP cuck: Than you should strive to make society better to give her reason to smile.

Me: I'd rather make her smile at your momma's titties expense. OH NOOOOES THE MILKIES, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE don't worry momma I'll suck'em (slurp noises)

Sarah: LOL WTF

ACP cuck: Jesus Christ you are a spiritual liberal. Like you really are a Satanist lol

[abcdosaka]

had a pretty hard time at work last week. got my period + i got chewed out by that one guy again (probably the fourth or fifth time by now) bc i didn’t communicate something well. the deadline is next week, which i didn't know about, and he wanted to have this completed last week and now its pushed to monday probably. it was my fault and i’ll admit that. but the truth is i just fucking hate talking to him. if he wasn't so completely intolerable to talk to i wouldn't mind it as much but holy shit. what a seriously hateable guy. i was watching a video earlier today and i got a little annoyed because the person in the video had similar features to the guy.

he always talks over me and doesn't let me finish my thought or question. he does this to everyone it seems worst with the women in the office

he definitely thinks i'm stupid. whenever i ask him a question he's like ok clearly i need to dumb this down for you (not exact phrasing of course but that's basically what he's saying). like no wonder i don't fucking like asking him questions

i feel like he regrets choosing to hire me. i know they wanted to hire someone a bit more experienced and i'm not like i just graduated. but to be quite honest in my interview i fucked up bad like i could barely answer the technical questions but i did express a desire to learn. so idk i feel like that's not really on me

our personalities just don't match at all. honestly i used to try hard to be laidback and able to handle anyone but it just kinda made me a pushover. when i assert myself with this guy he just gets mad. this always happens like every single time i try to assert myself bc i'll admit it, i'm a shy chick, i'm on fucking tumblr so no shit, but i hate hate hate the feeling of being steamrolled over.

his management style/expectations just make very little sense to me. like he's always pointing out stuff i should've done when i'm showing him results. or stuff that i didn't even think was my responsibility. he's kinda all over the place when giving me instructions, he's always skipping steps and then making me feel stupid for not being able to keep up. it gives me such imposter syndrome

all of this combined with the fact that he's super smart makes him pretty intimidating. and the fact that i have to mainly work with him bc he's the only other (specialized in my specific field at the office) is seriously like.... tough shit for me.

i'm not the first person to feel this way. two of the other junior employees said they really didn't like working with him. one of them even said she straight up couldn't deal with him bc he was so mean. she also said that the company is def aware of this but they're not great at responding to it.

the pm i'm doing one project with (which he was kinda supervising) was like yeah he's super intimidating and honestly not a fun guy to work with but he's a hard worker and will work to get stuff done. that's great that he's like the backbone of the company or whatever but that actually makes me a bit more mad. it's like when the patriarch of a family is trash but you can't say anything bc "oh he's holding it together he's the breadwinner". it just feels like it's being held over my head a bit. we couldn't have someone nicer in this position?

worst part is i can't just say he's a shit boss bc he's not wrong. like i said (his favourite words btw), he's chewed me out a lot over my communication skills and i get that i need to improve that but he just really gives me anxiety. plus he's told me good work over some stuff a couple times. (always with a caveat of course lmao). and i haven't been as fast as i know i could be bc i try to figure shit out by myself since i hate asking him questions, end up spinning my wheels and having to ask him anyway, and then he tells me i should be faster. which yes i totally could be if you weren't a piece of shit!

like people don't do things for no reason especially not me. maybe dumb reasons yes but not no reason. and i know what kinda things motivate me to actually thrive in a workplace. that is to say, i vibe with the carrot, i don't with the stick. i dunno i'm normally not super affected by it bc i really don't give a shit if he hates me on a personal level unless it affects my job but (this was on thursday evening when work was ending) prob bc of my period it really got to me this time and i cried on the way home and i was on/off crying yesterday. my eyes were soo puffy it was bad.

idk how long i'll last here. i really do kinda like working here (well i like 3 people and the rest i could take or leave) but i basically uprooted my life to be here. not that i'm mad about that bc i had very few friends back home and living at home was genuinely getting intolerable but it was a big decision. i don't want this to be a sunk cost scenario. but yesterday i was genuinely thinking like is this worth the stress? should i stay here for at least 4 years like i planned or stick it out for a year and get tf out?

i'm gonna try to be stronger and have more confidence bc i don't think he's the most unreasonable person ever. maybe i'll be petty and overcommunicate way too much and like tell him what i'm eating for lunch and shit bc at least it's fighting back somehow instead of being scared. (i'm not actually gonna do that. wish i could) but i'm not sticking around for much longer if things don't change. i just have no idea what to say or how to point it out esp if it's already a known issue. i do sorta feel supported by a couple ppl but...that has never been me, i've never felt strong enough to confront men like that. i guess if i do end up trying to leave, key word trying, i need to be really discerning during interviews. at least i have some leverage since i actually have a job now. as long as i don't lose it.

i was probably really upset bc this has been building up inside me for a while and my anxiety has taken over a lot thanks to him but i don't think its the worst situation to be in considering i'm new and i've only been in the office for like a month now. i just hate that i feel so associated with not meeting deadlines.

i also think i was kinda upset bc this dude is a lot like if my dad wasn't my dad but my boss. my dad is an alright father but if he wasn't personally related to me i wouldn't like him. getting yelled at by my dad was always terrifying for me as a kid so when my pm takes on that annoyed loud speaking tone all the fight in me just dies its embarassing. they're both really critical. neither of them can take a joke especially from a woman. plus they both smell bad like i forgot to mention this but holy moly they smell the exact same and it is MUSTY. oh and they're both asian. different parts of asia but whatever.

anyways like i know i can handle this i literally worked for that bitch karen in highschool and i was even less confident back then. plus i know i'm not stupid i graduated with a degree in this field and did 6 internships.

[daisywrites-stuff]

Apologies in Writing

I love noticing the way characters apologize in writing. I've just written an apology scene and wanted to talk about it.

Apologies can show a lot about a character, and when you can show your character through their apology, it makes both the apology and the character so much better. For example, it can show how a character feels about why they're apologizing. If your character doesn't understand what they've done wrong, then they'll apologize differently than a character that is overcome with guilt.

An apology can also show their background or backstory. If your character has had everything in their life handed to them, they'll apologize differently than someone who's had to work for what they have. Apologies can also give information on a characters motives! A person that has nothing to lose will apologize differently (or maybe not apologize at all!) than one who has everything on the line. It can also show what kind of character they are. Do they avoid conflict? Are they only doing it to get something? Do they grovel? Or act nonchalant?

An example of apologies (or non apologies!) showing character is in the song "Betty" by Taylor Swift (I'm a swiftie, if there are any other swifties here pls come ily). The song is about a boy, James, apologizing to his girlfriend because of a summer fling he had while they were still dating.

He begins his apology by saying,

"You heard the rumors from Inez You can't believe a word she says Most times, but this time it was true"

He begins by blaming another person, Inez. He deflects the blame, avoiding the apology. Already you can tell that he's not one for conflict and he doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions.

The next part of his apology is,

"But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go f--- [censored for tumblr because idk the rules] myself? Or lead me to the garden? In the garden would you trust me If I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything But I know I miss you"

He blames his age and he never actually apologizes. He also says that his fling didn't mean anything to him, showing that he doesn't value Augustine (his summer fling). Does this mean he values Betty? By the way he's avoiding apologizing, it doesn't seem like it. The rest of the song showcases him not saying "I'm sorry" once.

This is a prime example of apologies showing character. It's amazing and such a smart way add depth to your characters.

Some things that helped me put character into my apologies is think about their background, how they view the situation, the actual situation, and their traits.

In my book, the characters are both apologizing to each other. The first character, Christabel has never really had to apologize. She grew up in an environment where she never had to be wrong. She also doesn't believe that she's done anything wrong, she did, in fact, indirectly participate in events leading up to what happened, but she was not the sole person at fault. Because of the way she views the situation, this leads her to believe that she has no need to apologize. But, she's also a very caring and loving person. She genuinely cares for the other character and doesn't want conflict between them.

The other character, Elisabeth grew up the exact opposite of Christabel. While Christabel had whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, Elisabeth didn't have that kind of luxury. She grew up in a poor area and had to work for everything she earned, which made her a very hard worker and very conscious of both her and others actions, but she also had to miss out on a lot of things. Elisabeth felt like she had been wronged, she didn't have anyone to blame so she blamed Christabel, who at the time she believed was at fault. Some time passed between their incident and the apology, and in that apology, Elisabeth realized that Christabel wasn't totally at fault, though her anger is still justified because of the role Christabel played.

Elisabeth knows that Christabel is not totally at fault and it wasn't right to blame everything on her. So she apologizes for that, for blaming her. She was justified in some (maybe even a lot) of her anger because Christabel did play a role so she won't fully apologize for blaming her. She says it straight out, saying the words "I'm sorry." On the other hand, Christabel never apologizes. Her actions and the way she talks shows she's sorry, but she never actually says the words.

I think this is a super interesting way to show a character's traits and backgrounds, so even though this is crazy long I wanted to share it.