#she'd treat him like a celebrity

[lilywalkers]

rip marlene mckinnon you would've loved nico di angelo

[trashytracktales]

ong yes!! lando gotta loveeeee doggy and taking her against a wall!! But imagine her on top for the first time and not knowing how to ride him and him teaching him and telling her what to do! im asking this to santa !!

kill me now!!

Oh, Christmas treat | LN ⁴

💌 INSPIRED by anon ──── Why ask Santa when I'm literally right here... enjoy 💋

⤿ We're yapping about this ask.

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𐙚 summary ──── It's a quiet winter night, and Lando notices that his girlfriend seems a bit distracted. After some playful coaxing, she admits a secret desire to try something new. With his gentle guidance, they explore new paths together, each step bringing them closer.

𐙚 pairing ──── Lando Norris x she/her reader

𐙚 rating ──── explicit

𐙚 category ──── F/M

𐙚 warnings ──── 18+, mature/sexual content, established relationship, fluff & smut, descriptive language, light teasing, themes of vulnerability, unprotected sex, reader's first time on top, bit of swearing.

𐙚 word count ──── 2.5k

𐙚 date ──── Dec. 24, 2024

𐙚 a/n ──── I know this wasn’t a request per se, but I wanted to share this one-shot with you since it was already mostly ready to go. I’ve been dealing with some health issues recently and couldn't get myself to get anything done, so thank you for your patience. The rest of the requests are still on their (admittedly slow) way, but I promise they’re coming 🤞🏻 Wishing a very Merry Christmas Eve to everyone who celebrates, and who knows, I might have another little treat up my sleeve 👀

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﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

THE DAY HAD been nothing out of the ordinary, but that was exactly what made it special.

Lando had woken up late, groggy but grinning satisfied when he caught her padding around the kitchen in fuzzy socks and an oversized sweater, humming along to Christmas songs. She loves the holiday season, because she likes it when he's home, and Lando doesn't have to be anywhere but their own apartment. That's exactly why she can't get upset when he streams with Max for hours in the night, and ends up sleeping in the next day. The simple fact that he's there is enough.

Maybe she conditioned herself to accept that, but then she sees his sleepy face and thinks she'd accept worse in order to share her mornings with him.

It's Christmas Eve, so they’d decided to bake cookies, mostly because she insisted it was a winter tradition, and Lando, ever the competitive spirit, took it as a challenge to see whose decorations would turn out better. As expected, chaos followed. By the time the cookies were ready, the kitchen looked like it had been through a snowstorm of flour and sugar. Lando had a streak of frosting on his cheek, and she had somehow ended up with sprinkles in her hair. In reality, they spent more time laughing and teasing each other than actually baking, but that was always the way it went with them.

Now, their cookies sit patiently on the counter, forgotten as the two of them relax on the couch in the living room. The Christmas tree lights glow warmly in the corner, and a cheesy holiday movie plays on the TV. They’re snuggled under a thick blanket, her legs curled up and tucked into his side. Lando’s arm drapes around her shoulders, his fingers playing lazily with her hair. It’s peaceful and comforting, but somewhere in the quiet, she feels a sudden pull in her chest.

In all the time they've been together, she never took the lead — not willingly, at least — feeling more than happy to surrender. She's been thinking about it for a long time, but she's never had the courage to do it. She doesn't feel intimidated or inhibited by her boyfriend, but rather by how it could all go wrong for both of them if she, somehow, ends up doing something she’s not supposed to.

Suddenly, her arms tighten around him, her nose nuzzling into his shirt. There’s a weight in her heart, not sadness exactly, but something tender, something raw. It makes her extra clingy, but she doesn’t say anything. She just holds him closer, hoping he won’t notice.

But Lando always notices.

His fingers pause in her hair, and his brows furrow slightly as he glances down at her. “You good, baby?” he asks, his voice soft and curious.

She hums nonchalantly, her face still buried in his chest.

“You sure?” Lando insists, his tone teasing but gentle.

The girl freezes for a moment, debating whether to brush it off, but before she can decide, he tilts her chin up with his fingers, making her look at him.

“Come on, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, hm?” he asks, his eyes scanning hers.

Her cheeks heat under his gaze, and she sighs. “I don’t know. You just… feel extra nice to hold tonight,” she says quietly.

Lando blinks, then his grin widens, teasing again. “Didn’t know I had levels of cuddliness.”

“Oh, shut up,” she mumbles, hiding her face against his chest again.

His smile softens, and he wraps his arms around her fully, pulling her tighter against him. “Hey, you don’t wanna talk to me?”

She shakes her head and, at that, Lando stops pushing, knowing that whatever it is, she’ll come to him. Eventually. When she’s ready.

A few hours later, their movie marathon ends in a comfortable silence, the glow of the TV instantly muted by the credits rolling on the screen. Lando stretches, groaning softly as he shifts from the couch.

She gathers the blanket, folding it neatly before turning to him with a small smile.

“Bedtime?” she asks, her voice soft, almost reluctant to leave the warmth of the evening behind.

“Bedtime,” he agrees, though he watches her carefully as she heads toward the bedroom.

She moves through her usual routine, brushing her teeth and slipping into one of his hoodies, paired with sleep shorts. As she pulls back the covers and sits on the edge of the bed, he hears it again — the same quiet sigh that makes his chest tighten.

Lando leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, frowning in her direction. “Alright, that’s the second time tonight,” he says, his tone light but edged with curiosity. “Should I worry?”

“What?” she replies quickly, too quickly, as she gets ready to tuck herself under the duvet. “No, baby. It’s nothing.”

“Right,” says Lando, stepping closer, his lips curving into a mischievous grin. “If you won’t tell me, I’ll have to get it out of you another way.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Lando…”

Before she can finish, he lunges, playfully grabbing her waist and threatening to tickle her sides. She squeals, trying to wiggle away, but his grip on her is firm.

“Last chance, I'm serious,” he warns, his laughter bubbling up as she giggles uncontrollably.

“Okay, fine, stop it!” she pleads, breathless, her face flushed.

Lando stops, pulling back just enough to sit on the edge of the bed. Then, with a gentle tug, he pulls her onto his lap. His arms wrap loosely around her waist, and he tilts his head, watching her with a mix of curiosity and concern.

“Now,” he says, happy that he managed to break her wall, “What’s going on?”

She hesitates, her cheeks turning pink as she avoids his gaze. Instead, her fingers find his curls at the back of his head, twisting them gently as she takes a deep breath. “You know, it’s not even a big deal. I’ve been thinking about something, but I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“Mhm,” he nods, leaning in to press a lingering kiss to her lips. It’s deep, slow, almost as if he’s trying to reassure her without words. When he pulls back, their foreheads touch, and he whispers, “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

She knows. Still, that doesn’t make it any easier. The heat rushes in her cheeks as she finally meets his eyes. “Look, I like when you’re on top. I mean, I really like it,” she says, stumbling slightly over her words. “But I was thinking, maybe, I’d like to, you know...”

Her voice trails off, and she looks away again, clearly embarrassed.

Lando blinks, letting her words sink in. His mouth opens slightly, but no sound comes out as a flush creeps up his neck. Then, a grin spreads across his face, equal parts flustered and excited.

“Yeah?” he asks, his voice soft, his hands tightening slightly on her waist. “You want to ride me, baby?”

She nods quickly, still twisting his curls nervously. “But I’ve never done it before, and I’m not sure I’d be good at it. It's just that—”

He exhales a chuckle, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “Slow down,” he murmurs against her skin, his tone so tender that it makes her stomach flip. “You don’t have to worry about being good at it, baby. If you wat to try it, I can guide you, and we’ll see what works for us as we go.”

Her cheeks flush as she processes his reassurance, the tender way he’s looking at her making her feel bold and seen. And listened to.

She smiles, shifting on his lap, searching for some friction, and the slight brush of her core against his growing hardness has her letting out a soft gasp. Lando notices immediately, but he doesn’t say anything yet. Instead, he lets her take the lead at her own pace, on her own terms.

She shifts again, this time deliberately pressing herself against him, and the soft sound she makes has Lando’s self-control slipping. “I suppose we can try now?” he murmurs, his voice thick with heat.

She doesn’t reply — at least not with words. Instead, she grabs his hoodie, pulling it over her head in one swift motion, leaving her in nothing but her shorts. Lando’s breath catches as he takes her in, his hands immediately coming up to palm her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her hardened nipples. He's seen her naked so many times before, but somehow, every time she gets rid of her clothes she uncovers something new.

“So beautiful,” he mutters, leaning in to press open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone. She tilts her head back, giving him more access, and the heat between them builds until she pushes him gently onto the mattress.

Lando goes willingly, a grin tugging at his lips as she leans over him to kiss him again. His hands move to her hips, holding her firmly as she presses herself against him, grinding slowly. He groans into her mouth, his hands sliding lower to grip her ass, then he spreads her slightly, pushing her down against his growing length, making both of them gasp at the feeling.

Her hands trail down his chest, and she tugs at his shirt. “Off,” she breathes, and he obeys, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside. For a moment, she just looks at him, her hands tracing the defined lines of his chest.

The tension between them builds rapidly, their breaths mingling as they press closer. It doesn’t take long before she’s tugging at the waistband of her shorts, her nerves creeping back in as she pushes them down. Lando sits up slightly, watching her with darkened eyes, and when she glances at him nervously, he reaches out to stroke her thigh gently.

“You’re perfect,” he says softly, his voice full of sincerity.

Her nerves ease at his words, and when he pushes his joggers down, freeing himself, her anticipation drowns out her doubts.

He sits up fully, pulling her closer until she’s straddling him again. “Alright, love,” he murmurs, his hands steadying her hips. “Go slow, yeah? Just sit on me first. Take your time.”

She nods, biting her lip as she lines herself up with him. Slowly, she sinks down, feeling the stretch as he fills her inch by sweet inch. Her breath hitches, and Lando groans, his hands gripping her hips tighter.

“Oh, fuck,” he rasps. “You always feel so good.”

She pauses once he’s fully inside, her hands braced on his chest as she adjusts to the feeling of being so full of him. Sensing her nervousness, Lando rubs soothing circles on her hips, letting her take her time.

When she finally starts to move, lifting herself up slightly before sinking back down, a soft, shaky moan escapes her lips. Lando watches her with a mix of awe and hunger, his hands guiding her gently.

“Just like that, baby,” he encourages her, “Easy. You’re doing so well.”

Slowly but surely, she manages to build a rhythm, her movements tentative at first. But as the pleasure starts invading her senses, she becomes bolder. She opens up more, craving all of him at once. Her hands slide back to grip his thighs for support as she leans back slightly, the new angle sending sparks of pleasure through her body.

The taste of power it's rather interesting in this position, and she can’t afford to be shy anymore. Not when his cock feels so good inside her, and not when she decides how to take him.

“Fuck, Lando,” she breathes, her head tilting back.

She begins to move more rapidly on top of him, her hips following a predetermined path that she wasn't even aware of before. Lando watches her in amazement, feeling every pulse of pleasure every time she comes back for more, her walls hugging his cock so tightly that it leaves him breathless.

He groans, his hands sliding up to her waist to steady her. “That’s it, baby. Keep going. God, you’re going to make me cum so fast like this.”

The sight of her riding him, her body moving with such confidence now, nearly breaks him. Somehow, he resists the urge to thrust up into her, letting her stay in control, but his grip tightens as his restraint begins to fray.

He hears a silent cry, getting ready for every scenario in his mind, while his eyes study her frame by frame.

She whimpers, her movements becoming more erratic as the pleasure overwhelms her. “Lan,” she gasps, her voice shaky. “I can’t go—too much.”

He sits up slightly, pulling her towards him and pressing his forehead to hers. “Of course you can, baby,” he says softly, his voice steady despite the fire coursing through him. “I’m here. Just a little more, yeah? You’re doing so good.”

She feels his cock twitching inside her as she shakes her head weakly, “Lando, please…” her hands desperately clutch his shoulders, and that's when he understands what she needs from him.

Lando's hands land on her waist again, gripping at her firmly, and he starts to guide her harder on his cock while thrusting up into her simultaneously, meeting her halfway. The sudden change in rhythm makes her cry out, her nails digging into his skin.

“Yes,” she moans, her head dropping onto his shoulder as he drives her higher. “It’s so good, fuck. I’m—”

“That’s it,” he growls, his voice tinged with exhaustion. “Let go, baby. I’ve got you.”

So she does, her body trembling as the pleasure crests and crashes over her. He follows seconds later, his movements growing erratic before he stills inside her, holding her tightly against him as they both ride out their highs, breathing each other’s air. They stay tangled together, bodies still pressed close as the intensity of their orgasms fades away.

Lando brushes a strand of her hair away from her damp forehead, his lips curling into a soft smile. “You okay there?” he asks, his voice a gentle rasp.

She nods against him, her body still warm and buzzing. “Mhm, ‘m okay,” she murmurs, tilting her head up to meet his gaze.

He grins, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “You did so well, baby. Made me proud.”

She lets out a breathless laugh, her head dropping back onto his shoulder. “Cheers,” she trails off, playfully groaning. “But that was so much work. My fucking thighs are on fire.”

Lando laughs, the sound deep and rich. “Oh, you poor thing,” he teases, stroking her back soothingly.

She swats at his chest, unable to hold back her grin. “I’m serious! It’s a full-body workout being on top.”

He hums thoughtfully, his fingers lazily tracing patterns on her skin. “So what you’re saying is…” he starts, tilting his head with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “I get to be in charge again next time?”

She pulls back to look at him, her cheeks flushing, but there’s a playful sparkle in her eyes. “You won't hear me complaining,” she quips, biting her lip to suppress her laughter.

PREVIOUS LN⁴ ONE-SHOT

MASTERLIST

Thank you for reading!

None of my works are available for reposting on other platforms. Reblogs, likes, and comments are deeply appreciated ♥︎

© trashy track tales, 2024

[222col]

BOT DUMP by @ 222col °❀⋆

norman fucking rockwell! - lana del rey ᯓ★

꒰ notes ꒱ ft challengers & obx characters 𖤓 thank u to those have been patient with me during my break, lotta love for u all <3 any feedback is welcomed!!!

JJ MAYBANK

𖤓 ( norman fucking rockwell )

𓇼 you and jj were best friends. always had been. but lines had been crossed, and suddenly he was barely paying you any mind outside his bedroom. fed up of his childish behaviour, you call him on his bullshit at the boneyard.

RAFE CAMERON

𖤓 ( mariners apartment complex )

𓇼 rafe's sweet girl. never could you believe that he was your rafe that shot peterkin, you'd stuck by him through it all. only when he fucks up and confesses in front of you do you realise who he is.

ART DONALDSON

𖤓 ( venice bitch )

𓇼 art's enjoying college life, biggest name on campus thanks to his famous pop star girlfriend. living it up at frat parties, and only occasionally riling up his very possessive girlfriend. when you come back from tour to surprise him,and find him between two girls, it was never going to end well.

TASHI DUNCAN

𖤓 ( fuck it i love you )

𓇼 four years since you'd seen the girl you once loved. tashi had promised to keep in touch, stay friends, but you hadn't heard from her since the breakup. out celebrating another tournament win, and she sees the one she loves.

TASHI DUNCAN

𖤓 ( doin' time )

𓇼 you loved her so bad, and she treated you like shit. tashi never let you put a label on it, despite how often she called you her girlfriend, she'd never make it official. time to give her a taste of her own medicine.

RAFE CAMERON

𖤓 ( love song )

𓇼 rafe has always cared more about his image than anything else, and that carried through to his relationship. in reality, he could barely care about you. just the looks that he got when he was with you. prettiest girl on the island, and you were all his.

PATRICK ZWEIG

𖤓 ( cinnamon girl )

𓇼 you were retiring, from your life as a famous band-aid. too many broken promises from musicians, too many boys wasting your time thinking you were just some groupie. one final show, and that's when you spot him. up-and-coming lead guitarist, patrick zweig. retirement was never going to last long. ( almost famous (2000) au )

JJ MAYBANK

𖤓 ( how to disappear )

𓇼 jj could never admit you weren't his anymore, ask anyone and he'd say you were still his girl. whether you had a new boyfriend or not, his answer remained the same. despite the new boy on your arm, you can't help but run back to him.

PATRICK ZWEIG

𖤓 ( california )

𓇼 patrick was finally back in town for off season, months after the breakup. that didn't stop him from spending the whole time with you though. time moves too quickly, and suddenly he's by the door ready to leave you again.

JJ MAYBANK

𖤓 ( the next best american record )

𓇼 pogues were starting to get noticed, touring around the us on their first headline tour. but you and jj were still focused on writing the perfect song. everyone could see it was more than that, the two of you spent every minute together, saying it was all for the song. until jj realises, it's not about the song at all.

PATRICK ZWEIG

𖤓 ( the greatest )

𓇼 things were perfect, then patrick goes off to the junior us open and you never hear from him again. it took art and tashi doing the same to him to realise, you were the greatest loss of them all. when he sees your name on the list of coaches at the tennis club he's playing a challenger at, he realises he can't let you slip away again.

JJ MAYBANK

𖤓 ( bartender )

𓇼 the only thing that got jj through his shifts at the country club, was his favourite little kook sitting pretty waiting for the drinks he made. he's playing the long game, desperate to be the one who taints your prissy lifestyle. so when he hears you've been blown off from a kook party, he's waiting to swoop in.

RAFE CAMERON

𖤓 ( happiness is a butterfly )

𓇼 you'd heard the rumours about rafe, about what he did to peterkin and god knows how many others, even before the two of you started sleeping together. you never knew the truth, but seeing your situationship covered in blood when he picks you up answers every question you had.

ART DONALDSON

𖤓 ( ​hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but i have it )

𓇼 art had never had his faith tested, never in the way you were testing him. two weeks staying at his house, in your silk nightgown that he couldn't get out of his mind no matter how hard he tried. when you come knocking on his door when you can't sleep, even god couldn't stop him saying come in.

© 222col. do not steal or repost my work without permission.

꒰ taglist ꒱ @khartalks @funkycoloured @bluestrd @appleaali @donteventry-itdude @gublerstylesobrien1238 @peachyparkerr @stanart4clearskin @chrattvibe @tacobacoyeet @lexiiscorect @glassmermaids @voidsuites @matchpointfaist @s0ftcobra @artaussi @simmerinsauce @coolgrl111 @hrrysglitter @cinnamoncunt @elsieblogs @tennisthatcher @deeninadream @magicalmiserybore @soulxinxthexsky @sohighitscool @4jjsbank (to be added)

[darknight3904]

All Too Well

Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: After meeting Joel one late night at a bar you launch into a whirlwind romance with him. But, between a nasty breakup and the end of the world, you're left with nothing but your thoughts of the past and the way they haunt you all too well.

Warnings: 18+ Mature themes including: language, loss of virginity sexual references, SA (Not by Joel), Animal death, starvation.

Based on the song by Taylor Swift.

Word Count: 6.5k

Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Winter 2023

Jackson was a town that was almost too good to be true. You had stumbled upon it nearly 7 years ago after fleeing in the middle of the night from a band of men that had captured you. Your sanctuary was just getting started then, but the group that was working there, welcomed you with open arms and as many supplies as they could spare.

It was your own little slice of paradise in this post-apocalyptic world you were stuck in. Away from FEDRA's iron fist and the horrors that evil people inflicted on others, most days you felt like you were living the life you used to back in 2003.

Of course, some things were different now. The TV in the corner of your living room was useless and most of your meals were communal in the mess hall. But, you loved it all anyway, glad to be away from the harsh world that lay outside the walls.

Even when you were assigned to clean out the horse stables, you loved your community. Jackson was your perfect little universe, undisturbed by the past and-

"Oh, shit...Joel?"

May 2003

College finals were the two scariest words one could say to you right now. Luckily for you, you had managed to somehow pass all of them this semester. Yes, you had somehow even managed an 80 on your biology exam, you still weren't quite sure how that happened. Maybe those 3am nights poured over your books did something.

"We should celebrate tonight." Your friend, Amelia suggested from her spot on the couch

"I was thinking about ordering a pizza." You sigh as you try to work out in your mind how much you have in your bank account. Perhaps you even had enough for some wings too.

"Not like that." She scoffs, " I meant we dress up real slutty and hit some bars. Get some guys to buy us drinks."

"I wanted to watch a movie tonight though." You sigh, thinking of the Blockbuster down the road. The second X-Men movie had come out a few weeks ago and you were dying to see Hugh Jackman on your screen again.

"You can spend the rest of your life as a grandma watching movies. You're only hot once." Amelia laughs

"But-"

"No buts. Your tits are gonna be at your waist one day and you'll thank me for this." Amelia declares before skipping off to her room, mumbling about which top she'd wear.

You sigh as you watch her door close. Amelia Caddel hadn't been your first choice for sharing an off campus apartment. Afterall, she was the opposite of you in so many ways. But, Miss Life of the Party had a steady deposit of allowance in her account from mommy and daddy, meaning she never missed rent, an important factor in a roomate.

"Guess you're spending the night alone." You sigh, looking down at your cat, Loki who purred, clearly wanting a treat or perhaps another heaping bowl of kibble.

Amelia fussed with your hair as the two of you entered your first bar.

"How're you going to pick up a guy if he can't even see your eyes?" She laughs

The stuffy air and the loud music, followed by a group of frat boys cheering for someone, reminded you why you never went out.

You watched with a sigh as she sought out the closest mid twenties guy she could wrestle a few drinks out of. You trailed behind, fidgeting with the skimpy black mini dress she had coaxed you into.

You'd have to hand it to Amelia, you certainly looked hot in it.

The feel of a stranger bumping into you and the sharp scent of aftershave filled your nose, and then big hands were wrapping around your waist, keeping you from stumbling.

"Shit sorry, hon." His Texan accent sent a small shiver down your spine.

"It's fine." You mumble, jumping away from the stranger's arms.

"Tommy, let's go! Quit flirtin' with the college girls!"

The man, Tommy, mumbles another apology to you before disappearing further into the bar, in search of whoever called for him.

Joel watched as his younger brother "accidentally" bumped into some silly college girl who seemed out of her element. Joel couldn't lie, it was something his brain might've come up with if he wasn't so damn tired from today's work. When was laying concrete going to get easier?

The younger Miller brother, who hadn't succumbed to back pain just yet, whispered some false apology in the girl's ears as she jumped away from him.

Joel called for him, he couldn't let Tommy terrorize some poor twenty-something girl who looked like a deer in the headlights under his brother's gaze.

"You're getting too old to be after college kids." Joel chastizes as he sits beside Tommy at the bar.

"Oh c'mon." Tommy scoffs as he orders a beer for himself and Joel.

"You're thirty, you're not some mid-twenties loser anymore." Joel points out.

"You're no fun, Joel," Tommy says with a roll of his eyes

Joel wanted to go home. He'd wanted to go home hours ago but Tommy had dragged him out after they finally finished working on their latest project, the new local Subway was nicely constructed by the Miller brothers.

Yet, here he sat, a few hours later, Two and a half beers deep, listening to Tommy try his hand at karaoke. Joel was pretty sure his ears were bleeding as his eyes scanned the bar. Most of the patrons were so drunk, they cheered Tommy on.

Joel found his eyes settling on the girl Tommy had "bumped" into earlier. She was still alone, sat across the room at a high-top table, sipping at some fruity drink. Pretty red heels were linked on the footrest of the barstool and Joel watched as she fumbled with her purse, looking for something with a deep frown across her pretty features.

If Joel didn't have a 13-year-old waiting on him back home, he might have slipped across the bar and sweet talked his way into this girl's arms. But the thought of Sarah back home, watching TV with Mrs. Addler had his ass glued to his barstool.

Instead, he observes as you finally find your phone and make a call. He watches as your features droop in disappointment as you yell over Tommy's singing to whoever was on the other end. Joel watched with a bit of amusement as you nearly fell off the stool when you went to stand up, you must've forgotten you linked those heels onto the footrest.

Joel let out a grumble of disappointment as Tommy launched into the beginning of Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. Why had he been given the world's most annoying little brother?

Joel's eyes turn back to the mystery girl and her delicate red heels just as some frat guy from Alpha Delta- who fuckin' cares, slings an arm around her waist, hand dipping too close to the hem of her skirt for Joel to be comfortable with.

As if he's on autopilot, Joel finds himself crossing the bar in long strides, ready to put a stop to whatever might come next.

"I don't see your friend now." The guy laughs as you shift your weight from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable.

Joel hears you mumble something about wanting to go home.

"I'll give you a ride."

The guy's sleazy tone has Joel cringing as he approaches. DId anyone teach these kids manners?

"Why don't you give the lady some space?" Joel suggests boldy

Alpha-Delta-Chad turns around to meet Joel's gaze, not releasing you just yet as he scoffs,

"Who the fuck are you? Her dad?"

"Just a concerned stranger." Joel nods to you in greeting, "She doesn't seem too comfortable with you, kid. Give her some room."

"How would you even know old man?" The boy asks, "You're like forty!"

Ouch. Joel was 35. Did he really look 40? Already?

"Let her go," Joel says, his voice deepening a bit

The frat boy's eyes scan Joel's figure. Either he decides you're not worth it, or that he'd lose the fight because before Joel knows it he's letting you go and murmuring another curse at Joel.

"Thank you." You breathe a sigh of relief, and a small smile graces your pretty face as Joel nods.

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

The name slips out of Joel's mouth before he can stop it and he watches in amusement as you blink away in embarrassment.

Your eyes roam across his frame and Joel can't quite place the look on your face as you...size him up?

"Could you um...walk me to the bus stop? I'd go myself but I'm worried that guy might be waiting for me outside." You ask

Joel wants to say no. He wants to stay tucked away in the bar, sipping his beer, and hope Tommy accidentally swallows the microphone he's singing into. Yet, one look into your sad, and definitely drunk eyes has him folding.

"Sure, I'll walk ya."

A warm breeze blows through the air as your savior is beside you at the bus stop. He'd insisted on waiting beside you until the bus showed up, saying something about having a daughter back home and it not being right to leave you alone out here.

"So...what's your name?" You ask, your drunk mind disliked silences.

"Joel. Joel Miller." He says, "You?"

You softly say your name, shy under his gaze.

Maybe its the three margaritas but the man next to you is hot. Short brown curly hair with dark eyes to match. Not to mention the splatter of facial hair and mustache he seemed to pull off so effortlessly. He was definitely much older than you, at least over ten years your senior. But, he was attractive in the ways all the college boys in your classes weren't.

Your eyes raked over tanned arms, toned perfectly from whatever he did to get them. You could tell he was sporting a handsome dad bod under the plain blue t-shirt on his frame. You'd never been one for a rippling six-pack, a man who'd eat pizza and ice cream with you was always going to be attractive than one who spent his days drinking protein shakes and eating eggs for "gains". Joel seemed like a guy who'd be into a binge-watch of every Star Wars movie and indulge with you in an impulsive 2am Domino's order.

"Where the hell is this bus at?"

His deep voice had you snapping from your drunken daydream of pizza and dad bods.

"Oh um..."

You're not quite sure where the bus is. Hopefully, it'd show soon. Your legs felt like a newborn deer's, no way would you be able to walk the seven and a half miles back to your apartment like this.

"Joel!"

Another voice has you and your new companion turning your heads. Another man, somehow a bit familiar in your drunk brain is approaching.

"What're you doin' man? You missed my singing."

"I heard enough." Joel huffs in annoyance

Oh, so this was the guy who was badly singing to Brittney Spears and Journey. He looked a bit more familiar though...this was the dude that had bumped into your earlier!

"Now if I'm too old to be goin' after college girls, then you're definitely too old, brother."

"I'm not...Not goin' after anyone. I'm waiting for the bus with her. Some creep was hitting on her at the bar, I'm keeping her safe." Joel groans at this man's comment.

So he wasn't interested? You felt your heart sink a bit. Of course, he wasn't interested. He had a kid for crying out loud.

Oh god, what if he had a wife? Were you daydreaming about a married man?

Your eyes jump to his left hand.

Ringless.

Well, at least you weren't fantasizing about being a homewrecker.

"The bus? It's past midnight. The bus stops running at 11:30." The new guy says, looking at his watch.

"Oh...um. I'll just go then." You say, standing up on unsteady legs. Looks like you're walking. You didn't have the money for a cab, so your legs were just going to have to tough this one out.

"Go? Go where?" Joel's friend scoffs

You ignore him, he's so weird.

"Tommy, stop it." Joel scolds

He sounds like such a dad as you laugh to yourself while smoothing your dress out.

"Do you want us to give you a ride?" Joel asks, standing up next to you

"No, I can manage the walk." You brush him off, trying to ignore the way he's so tall all of a sudden.

You were even wearing heels and he was bigger than you!

"I can call a cab," Joel suggests, watching the way your ankle nearly twists when you take a step.

"I don't have any money for one." You whimper, as the pain in your ankle shoots up your leg.

Fuck these heels. Fuck Amelia for ditching you for another bar. Fuck Joel had his stupid dad bod and tanned skin. Fuck the stupidly attractive mustache on his stupidly attractive face.

This always happened when you were drunk. First, your legs turned into literal Jello and then you'd get all weepy about nothing. At least you'd have seven miles to cry your eyes out. Hopefully, Loki would let you hold him when you got home.

"Let me give you a ride. Do you live on campus?" Joel asks his eyes widening at the tears that dribble down your face.

"I'm just gonna walk." You mumble and bush past him, forcing your legs into an unsteady match.

"That's like...an 8-mile walk," Tommy says from behind you, estimating the distance between here and the college.

"Actually seven and a half." You sass, not interested in his comments or his stupid aftershave that invaded your nose as you walked past him.

You're not entirely sure how you ended up here, in the back seat of a pick up truck while Joel drove you home. You mumbled your address to him and he'd somehow known immediately where you were living.

Hopefully, you weren't going to end up dead in a ditch tonight.

Joel watched as you rested your head against the window. He'd walked you to his truck after you got a few feet away from him before sitting down on the curb, tears running down your pretty face, mumbling something about a cat.

"Fuckin' college girls." Tommy had mumbled as he helped Joel buckle you into your seat

"Let's just get her home," Joel said

"Yeah before she turns the waterworks back on." Tommy sighed

Joel drives towards the shitty apartments they rent to college kids. Two blocks away he had once been working in a fancy new condo building, putting up drywall and laying flooring. There'd been talk about developing your area as well, but six months later the apartments of Oliver Avenue were still as shitty as ever.

Joel guaranteed you were getting ripped off by your landlord. Probably paying too much for someplace that had thin walls and bad heating. Sure enough, he was right, as he parked his trunk in front of a building that badly needed a makeover.

"Stay here." He tells Tommy who seems to be a few moments away from falling asleep in the passenger seat.

Joel pulls you from the backseat, shoving Sarah's soccer ball back under the seat when it rolls out and tries to escape.

"Alright, what floor?" Joel asks as you stand beside him, tears finally dried up.

You wordlessly begin to plod your way up the steps and murmur what sounds like a five to him.

Joel makes sure you get your door open and watches as a black cat greets you as you push the door open.

"Hi, baby." You coo at the cat, scooping him up. "Did you miss me?"

Joel feels his heart speed up as you sweet-talk your pet. He tries to banish the idea of you talking to him like that, carding your hands through his hair, rather than this little black cat with a green collar and golden bell around his neck.

"Thank you, Joel." You say as you spin around to face him

"No problem." He hums, "Glad I was able to help."

You smile at him as your damn cat meows loudly, breaking the trance you had on him.

"Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Goodnight, Joel."

July 2003

The fourth of July was serious business in Austin. From mega barbeques to fireworks that put Magic Kingdom to shame, your sleepy little college town was transformed for America's birthday.

A much-needed breeze flows through the park as you sit on the blanket you'd found shoved at the back of your closet. Summer was brutal this year, and you were sure that the Texas heat wasn't making the wait for fireworks any easier.

Your parents had invited you back home to Pittsburgh this summer. But, you found yourself more interested in staying put in Austin. Your sleepy suburb town back home would always be there, no sense in spending your summer cooped up in your childhood room. At least here you could go out whenever you wanted.

"Dad, let's go! All the good spots are going to be taken!!"

A young girl's voice drifts across the park as you turn to watch her pull what must be her father along.

"Hold on, Sarah! You're gonna make me drop all this."

"Move faster then!"

Well, shit.

Joel Miller, the savior of drunk college girls, was here in the park, walking towards you.

Your eyes widen as you take him in. At least you know it wasn't just the alcohol talking, Joel Miller was just as devastatingly good-looking now as he was a month and a half ago when he drove you home from the bar.

"H-Hi." You awkwardly stammer as he passes by you, arms full with a small cooler and a big blanket.

"Hello." He says, quickly

The double take he does is almost comical as he looks at you.

"Sarah!" He calls after the girl, "Come back here!"

"Didn't think I'd ever see you again." You smile, standing up from your own spot

"Well, I do live around here." He says with a lopsided smile that makes him look a bit more boyish.

The girl, Sarah, returns to her father's side.

"Hi." She says a bit flatly, clearly annoyed her father has stopped his march across the park to what she had deemed the perfect spot.

"Hello." You greeted her, with a soft smile.

She was so cute, with dark curly hair and black shorts paired with a pretty green and blue t-shirt. Sparkly sandals caught your eye as she stepped a bit closer to Joel, looking up at him for an explanation.

Joel introduces you to her, "I helped her out a month ago, got her home safe."

You're beyond elated he's standing in front of you again. For a little bit you swore he was a hallucination you'd dreamt up in a drunken haze. A handsome Texan man who'd driven you home safely after rescuing you from some sleaze. Amelia had scolded you for hours when she found out you hadn't gotten his number.

"Super safe." You smile at him.

Joel feels a nervous sweat break out on his forehead. Here he was with his daughter ready to watch their fireworks like they always did each year and he was flirting with a girl like he was 17 again. He'd be lying if you weren't on his mind regularly. The way you'd been dressed that night haunted him at night as he lay in bed, your sweet voice filled his ears as he went about his days. He'd wondered if you only used that tone for your cat.

"You two want to sit with me? I'm not sure if these are the best seats in the house but I do have some popcorn I can share..." You trail off, giving a smile to Sarah who enthusiastically agrees at the idea of free food.

Joel settles next to you as Sarah talks your ears off about soccer practices and the pool party Joel took her to a few weeks ago. He watches as you listen intently to his daughter's words. So rarely does a woman he's interested in take time to talk to Sarah. Yet, here you were, in college and interacting with his daughter better than most grown women did.

"So how old are you?"

Joel nudges Sarah with his shoe, doesn't she know that's a rude question? He could've sworn he taught her better.

"I'm 23. 24 this August." You say

"Wow," Sarah says

You turn away for a moment, reaching for the bag of popcorn that sits behind you. Joel's eyes widen as he watches Sarah silently mouth to him,

"She's so old!"

If you were old, did that mean he was ancient? God, how old did his daughter view him as? He could've sworn 35 wasn't that bad. Maybe it was though...

"So, 23. You're graduating soon then, yeah?" Joel asked

"I wish." You sigh, "I took a gap year after high school, and then just couldn't find the right major for a bit. I'm technically on track to become a Physician Assistant but I dunno if it's right for me."

Joel nods, he knows the feeling, not knowing if what you're doing is right. He'd felt that way when Sarah was born, and then when her mother left them, and then every time Sarah was hurt or crying, or just not perfectly happy, Joel felt that way, unsure of himself.

"You'd make a great PA, Sweetheart." Joel genuinely says, placing a hand over yours

"Thanks." You say a bit flustered at the physical contact.

"Gross," Sarah comments at what's unfolding before her eyes.

"You're gross." Joel counters, not missing a beat to tease her.

Sarah sticks her tongue out at him in retaliation, and Joel does the same.

You spend the rest of your summer with the Millers. In between public pool trips, and catching fireflies in the backyard, you somehow end up entangled with Joel. Staying up on the couch beside him, watching movie after movie when Sarah drifted off into dreamland up in her bed.

Before you know it, Joel is picking you up for dates and meeting you at coffee shops to let you talk his ears off about whatever book you've picked up for the week.

You let Joel take your virginity on a humid August night. After sending Sarah off to her friend's house you let him pull you into his room and under the sheets.

Breathless and sweaty you rest your head on his chest.

"You okay?" Joel asks quietly, running a hand up and down your back

"Mmhm." You sigh dreamily

"Didn't hurt you or nothin'?" He asks

"I'm okay, Joel." You laugh

"Just checking." He mumbles

Joel looks a bit out of place as he sits on your couch. Sarah had a week of soccer camp and the two of you decided to spend it together. Loki jumps up on the cushion beside Joel and lets out a loud meow.

"Pet him." You suggest with a shrug

"He doesn't even like me." Joel huffs staring into your cats eyes

"You nearly sat on him the first time you were here." You remind Joel of his previous crime from a week ago.

"I thought he was a throw pillow." Joel defends himself, motioning to the many pillows you and Amelia had scattered around the apartment.

"You thought I had a green-eyed pillow that meowed?"

"I dunno what you women are into, you're all so confusing."

You let out a scoff before plopping down on the couch next to him, Loki climbing into your lap and purring as you scratch behind his ears.

"The only confusing one here is you, Joel Miller."

Tommy isn't as bad as you thought he was.

Scratch that, he's fantastic, pulling out old photos of Joel from over the years. You nearly piss yourself though when he whips out an old family album. A nine-year-old Joel stares back at you as you look at an old photo of him playing tee-ball.

"Look how cute you were!" You gasp as you run your fingers across the photograph

"Joel Miller, star tee-ball player!" Tommy teases his big brother.

You smile as you watch Joel's face turn red as you take in even more photographs of him as a kid, you even see his 10th-grade photo, yes the one where he has braces and the worst case of acne known to mankind.

By the time the Texas heat begins to ease off and the leaves begin to change colors, you're head over heels in love with Joel Miller. From the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, to the way he'd dance with you in the dead of the night while the refrigerator door hung open, the light reflecting off your bodies as you laughed in his arms.

Three months, such a short time, and yet so much had happened. You tried to focus on the Anatomy lesson your professor was talking about in front of you yet you found your mind occupied with something else. It was as if you had been possessed, nothing but Joel filled your mind as you scribbled your notes onto your notebook. Anatomy class be damned, you were going to go mad thinking of him like this.

Your birthday, August 29th rolled around faster than you thought it would. You hadn't seen Joel all week. Between your classes, Sarah's soccer and school, and Joel's contracting, you had only time to talk to him briefly on the phone.

You had reached out to Joel earlier today to invite him to a small birthday party Amelia had insisted on. Nothing special, just some pizza and cupcakes, a cheap beer or two.

But now, it was going on 10:30 and Joel was nothing but a whisper in the wind. Sadness weighed on your chest as you watched the front door, hoping for a knock that would signal his arrival.

"Hey...I think we should just go to bed..."Amelia suggests softly from her spot next to you.

"No, he's coming." You mumble sadly tears tickling your waterline,

You stare at the last cupcake that sits on the coffee table. It was meant to be for Joel. You had scooped it out of the box thinking about how nice the icing looked on it. You had wanted him to have the best one in the box, even if that meant your own was a little lopsided and missing sprinkles.

Amelia pulls you into her side, letting you rest your head on her shoulder. She gently wraps her arm around you and quietly says,

"It's supposed to be fun, turning 24..."

September 2003

Three days pass before you hear from Joel again. His voice on the other end of the phone call is paralyzing as your world comes crashing down. The phone beeps as the call ends and you stand at your kitchen counter in shock, shocked that he's ending it all like this, with a phone call.

"If we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine."

His words bounce around in your mind as you slam your phone down on the counter. Loki jumps from his spot on the windowsill meowing as you cross the room quickly.

You pulled your covers over your head, blocking out the world as you heard Amelia return from her ethics class.

"If we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine."

God, that made you want to die. What did he even think of you? That you were some wide-eyed college kid who just existed in limbo for him?

You spend the next week in bed, plagued with tears and anger as you curse Joel out at least 1000 times a day. The knock at your door and Amelia entering your room with a box has you startled.

"What's this?" You sniff

"UPS guy just left it at our front door." She says before setting it on the bed and leaving you again.

You cut the box open and find your things inside it. Little things you'd left at Joel's over the summer. Hair ties, a brush, deodorant, t-shirts, and sweaters, even a photograph of you, Sarah, and him at the aquarium is nestled between the pages of a book you kept on his nightstand to read to him before the two of you dozed off. The box holds your entire relationship as you dump it out on your bed.

The scent of Joel, masculine and inviting clings to your belongings just like the way it clings to your heart.

Your hands shift through the items again, the scarf you wore to Tommy's house is missing. You had left it there and Joel had promised to return it to you.

"Who wears a scarf in Texas?" Joel snorts

"I do! And you better give it back, Miller." You groan

"I'll get it to you, sweetheart. Don't worry about it."

You wonder what has become of your scarf now. Perhaps it's sitting in a drawer in his room, nestled among his belongings, looking horribly out of place. Or maybe it's stuck in his truck, shoved under the seats under the pretense that it would make its way back to you one day.

You wonder what has become of Joel now. Perhaps he's lying in his own bed right now, thinking of you, your scarf wrapped around his hands, smelling of you and all his failures.

You wonder if this love affair bruised him the way it did you.

God, you had so many regrets.

December 2003

Cold air fills your lungs as your feet ache beneath you. Snow gently fell down as you sighed quietly. The walk into your hometown was no joke. The shitty beater car you'd stolen had died about 50 miles ago, leaving you vulnerable and scared.

Loki meowed from his crate as you quietly walked along. You shushed him and dropped a few treats behind the bars of the crate. He was going to need food soon if you intended to stay alive, your traveling companion wasn't known for holding his tongue when it came to hunger. The last thing you needed was to have an infected try to kill you because of your pet.

It had been nearly 5 days on the road now. and You'd managed to drive from Austin to Pittsburgh all on your own armed with a shotgun and a map you'd found in the glove compartment.

The past few months had been spent in Joel's basement. After things started going south outside your apartment building, you stuffed Loki into his carrier and filled a two big duffle bags with food and clothes for you and supplies for your cat before managing to somehow sneak into the parking deck and jump into your car. Amelia had never returned from her boyfriends house that night. You knew you couldn't go looking for her though, his home was nearly 25 miles away while Joel's was only 10.

It was mid-morning on September 27th when you reached Joel's place. The other neighborhood homes were empty and you nearly threw up at the sight of Mrs. Adler's mother lying face down on the driveway.

Your heart sinks when you discover Joel and Sarah are already gone. You hadn't expected them to be here yet, a part of you had hoped they'd be. It was Joel's birthday yesterday, you wondered how he'd spent his last normal day. Knowing him, he'd probably been at work all day.

You barricade the doors before slipping into the basement. Joel had spent time finishing it so it was nice for Sarah's sleepovers. You let Loki out before returning upstairs to bring down every nonperishable food item the home had to offer.

And so, there you sat with your cat, in your ex's basement, willing for him to magically appear and tell you everything was going to be okay.

March 2017

The Pittsburgh QZ was fucked. Royally fucked. The loud explosion from some truck filled your ears as you zipped your backpack shut. Loki let out a meow of protest as he disappeared in your bag. He was nearly 15 and his attitude about backpack travel wasn't improving.

You stick to the back alleys as you work towards finding an out. A decent-sized hole in a fence catches your eye and you take your chances, better than getting blown up by the Fireflies or FEDRA.

You're about 4 miles away from the carnage when a sizeable group catches your eye. They must've gotten out just like you.

A man, David, shares a can of flavorless chili with you and you sit on the ground beside him. But, the more you listen to him talk, you can't help but think he's a total nutcase. You thank him for the chili and the 8 cans of chicken noodle soup he's shared with you and decline his offer to join the group.

"We have so much to offer." He says in a soft voice, gesturing to the people scattered around eating and talking amongst themselves.

"I'll stick to just him, thanks though." You say petting Loki's head as you pull him from your backpack to place the cans of food inside.

"Suit yourself."

April 2017

You had dozed off. A rookie mistake to make in the apocalypse.

They had been on you before you knew what was happening. With nothing but a knife to your name to protect yourself, you were hopelessly outgunned.

"Look at what we have here." A deep voice booms, "A girl wondering in my woods, must be my lucky day."

A smelly man stands in front of you, and about 8 other men are circled around you. You squeeze your eyes shut as he lets a dirty finger trail over your face.

"How pretty."

A loud hiss cuts his next sentence. Loki, you brave boy, has climbed out of your backpack where he had been taking a nap. His back has hunched up and you don't miss the way his dark black fur is bristling in the low light of the sun disappearing behind the trees.

You aren't even able to try to arrange a deal for your baby as the man pulls a large knife from his belt and carelessly throws it at your cat.

A horrible screech from Loki fills your ears as the man coos at you and tells you it'll all be okay.

"We've got dinner boys!" The man who has killed your only friend in the whole world exclaims.

Your eyes slam shut as red blood begins to seep into the fabric of your backpack. The man says something about being a provider but you're too focused on choking back the tears that are forming in your eyes.

Hours later, you're tied to a tree stump, your arms behind your back. Your captors present you with a warm soup of sorts. Canned carrots and potatoes float in a clear broth but it's what sits in the center of the bowl that turns your stomach. What's left of your Loki is now being devoured by the men.

You can't do it. You had been starving, unable to catch anything for days. but you can't do it.

"Fine, don't eat." The leader and cat killer huffs as he runs his hands across your chest in an unpleasant matter, "You're going to wish you had though when we're done with you."

June 2017

The moon is your only light as you steal away into the night. Your heart is pounding but you can't or rather won't look back.

Your escape is credited to a man named Adam. He had always been softer to you than the rest. Less brutal than the others when he bent you over a tree stump and forced himself into your unwilling body, cooing in your ears about how good you felt even though you were dry.

Softer and easy to fool when you batted your eyelashes at him so he'd give you a second serving of the deer they'd killed. Gentle when he cleaned whatever wounds the others inflicted on you for their sick pleasure.

Tonight, you had used his softness against him. Crying and whimpering when he tied you to a tree, saying the restraints were too tight. He'd of course taken pity on you and loosened them before kissing your forehead and walking off to sleep.

It had been easy to slip out of the ropes thanks to Adam. You stole his backpack and stuffed it with as much deer jerky as you could get your hands on before snatching a gun off Adam's unknowing form.

Now, you were stumbling through the night, hoping to put as much distance between you and the men as possible.

Nearly three weeks had passed and you were still somehow free. The men hadn't found you and you were deep into the wilderness. Your freedom was something you had yearned for since the moment Loki had died. Yet, here you were, starving and wasting away because you couldn't kill anything to eat.

You drag your body into an old concrete building that was being used to control some form of dam. You rested your head on your backpack, thinking of how far you'd come.

Strangely though, you thought of your past. Fuzzy images of a college classroom came into your brain. Amelia's long blonde hair and the way she'd style it perfectly each day. Texas summers, filled with heat and perfectly seasoned barbeque.

What you wouldn't do for a big plate of ribs right now.

And then the curly hair of a little girl is dancing around your mind. Her warm laughter fills your mind as you think of Sarah Miller. With her sparkle filled sandals and her strange interest in gore filled horror films. You wondered if she was still out there somewhere. Perhaps stuck in some QZ with Joel.

Joel.

You think about Joel. You're sure you've thought of him more in the past three months than you did your whole relationship. Every night when one of your captors, or sometimes multiples had you every which way, you'd try to think about other things. Those other things often divulged into Joel and how gentle he'd been with you. Oh, how you missed his warm arms and soft southern twang. Hou you yearned for him even now. Your only real relationship experience was something you just couldn't let go.

When you were finally found by Maria, you were nearly ready for death. Brain filled with delusional thoughts of the past and starving, she had hoisted you up on her horse and rode off to Jackson, praying this mystery woman wouldn't die on the way there.

Winter 2023

You nearly fall over when his tired eyes meet yours. The loud voice of a young girl fills your ears.

"Do you two know each other?"

You push the stable door open to get a better look at the man who stands before you. For so many years you had pictured the man you dated for a few months, not trying to imagine the way the end of the world might've changed him. Your mind can't reconcile the Joel you once knew and the one before you.

For starters, he looks so tired. Graying curly hair sits atop his head, a salt and pepper beard adorns his face. Even his frame has changed, the winter coat he wears hides it but you can tell he's become riddled with muscle to take on the harsh outside world. The only thing that seems the same is his mustache, somehow untouched by time.

"Joel, wait up! There's something I gotta tell ya!"

Tommy's loud voice carries from wherever he is and you want to laugh at the younger Miller brother. Of course, he was going to try to intercept your meeting. Too bad he was too slow.

"Joel? Hello? Do you know her?" The girl asks again.

You glance at her, she can't be more than 14 or 15. Her pale skin is rosy against the cold Wyoming winter. She looks at you, probably for an answer since all Joel is doing is staring at you, most likely in shock.

Eventually, though, the man of the hour opens his mouth to speak,

"No, I don't know her."

This is my first time writing for Joel, hope you enjoyed :)

Next Part

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@lunaticgurly @orcasoul

[kumkaniudaku]

White Lies

Summary: Terry and Patrice work together to a little white lie.

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black!OC

Word Count: 4,521

Warnings: Mentions of Pregnancy

Recommended Reading: Caught, Me and Your Mama

MASTERLIST

Something was…off. 

From the moment Patrice and Terry stepped into Marvin and Diedra's freshly renovated two-story home, which was primped and primed with all the luxury finishes one could ask for, Patrice could sense that their carefully crafted plan was in jeopardy. 

Terry's father was far too cheery. Diedra was always high energy, often smiling and hugging to celebrate a cloudless sky or the fresh sprouts of garlic cloves in her window sill garden, but Marvin was more even-keeled. In her teenage years, Patrice often questioned whether he liked her because of the lack of meaningful communication with her until she became a legal Richmond when he acknowledged her as something other than "the Ellis girl" at their wedding reception. In reality, Marvin carried immense respect for his daughter-in-love and regularly sang her praises in private despite carrying an exterior that felt more like casual indifference than familial affection. 

That's how Patrice knew their surprise announcement had been compromised. When Marvin greeted her with a hug so tight around her shoulders that she felt the bone pop from the pressure, her intuition perked up, sending red alerts to every corner of her brain. Still, Patrice kept quiet. No need to throw accusations when she couldn't prove her suspicion. 

Terry knew something was up when Rosalyn called him out of the blue to reiterate that she was excited to see them for dinner an hour before they arrived to share a feast from their collective favorite local soul food spot. Rosalyn rarely called him. If she needed to speak to Terry, she called Patrice and relayed a message through her daughter. If the situation was urgent, she'd send a text as a last-ditch effort. While he loved his mother-in-law dearly, finding himself in a 15-minute conversation about the weather felt strange. He hung up with the nagging feeling she knew more than what she was letting on. But he buried the thought to keep Patrice stress-free and excited about revealing their news to the grandparents-to-be. 

In the dining room, with an Aretha Franklin CD playing softly from Marvin's old standing radio system, the Ellis-Richmond clan conversed around a decorated maplewood dining table featuring all of their favorite Sunday dinner staples. They passed around Diedra's expensive glass bowls full of potato salad and pristine china platters of baked chicken between discussions of matters equally important and frivolous in nature. How was your vacation? Did you hear what so-and-so said about such-and-such? Your cousin is having a baby. Isn't that great?

That revelation made Terry pause as he spooned collard greens into his mouth. He chewed quickly to expedite a response to his mother. "Sure. Gerald has had a lot of kids, though, Mama. Ain't this number five?" 

Five that they knew of at least. 

"I know," Diedra sang after a sip of lemonade, a smile fighting its way past the neutral expression she'd been trying and miserably failing to maintain. "But a baby is a blessing every time. Especially when you're a grandparent getting to love on all those little ones. Sheila calls just to brag about them babies every weekend." 

Patrice rolled her eyes internally when Rosalyn added her two cents as if she didn't already know how her daughter felt about having a child one day. 

The older woman adjusted her black-rimmed glasses on her nose and hummed to signal her agreeance. "You know you get to treat your grandbabies different. Get 'em all hyped up on sugar and toys so they can go back home and be out of your hair until next time." 

"That's exactly what I plan on doin'," Leon laughed, the sound booming throughout the room. "Have fun with Pop-Pop, then go right on back to your mama 'nem." 

Terry tried to ease the annoyance emanating from Patrice's bouncing leg with a short chuckle and a soothing rub on her denim-covered knee under the table until she slowed to a halt. "If this is y'all's way of asking when we'll have children, I feel like I gotta remind everybody we just got married. Can't we enjoy some time alone for a little while? We haven't really dated, you know." 

"And I have shared my very detailed five year plan for us, which does not include trying for a baby until year three. Please, let's not rush my well-thought-out process, people!" 

Part of what Patrice said was true. Her laptop had a detailed five-year plan tucked neatly inside a folder labeled "Crack In Case I Marry That Man." She shared it with her mother a few weeks before Terry's surprise proposal, and there was a multi-page section on when and how they'd prep for parenthood after exactly three years of marriage. It was all there in 12-point Times New Roman and adequately disseminated to all interested parties to reference when the timeline called for them to reconvene. 

The lie was that they were still following said plan to the letter. 

Their parents exchanged knowing looks they assumed their children wouldn't understand. Terry and Patrice let them live in their bubble without calling attention to the many side eyes and allusions to pregnancy by frequently changing the subject but always ending right back at the starting line. 

Forks scraping against bright white porcelain signaled the end of their main course, just as an attempt to steer the conversation toward sports proved successful. 

Marvin waived his arms in a spirited attempt to direct Terry and Leon's attention toward an invisible clipboard of surefire inbounds plays for the Charlotte Hornets after another regular season loss. "See, this is why they didn't win the other day. The damn coach don't know what he doin'," he rambled without interruption. "Why the hell is Bridges inboundin' the ball with five seconds left? He oughta be in the paint waiting for the lob!" 

"Probably a decoy, Pop. Get 'em to inbound, then he cuts to the basket. They just botched the play because they're a bad team. Which you know. I'm not sure why you keep devoting your time to them." 

Marvin scoffed, miffed by the insinuation that his perpetually bottom-of-the-barrel team was ill-equipped to win. "Boy, I used to take you to Hornets games all the time." 

"I know. And they were bad then. Why do you think the tickets were so cheap," Terry laughed.

Terry's father shooed him away with a grin that slowly turned into a laugh, joining the small chorus around the room. "Yeah, well, at least they're exciting and bad this go 'round," Marvin countered before leaning back in his chair, full from the feast. "Better to watch LaMelo Ball get 50 in a blowout than sit through 48 minutes of Keith Bogans." 

"Hey, now. I had a Keith Bogans jersey!" 

"Because it was cheap," Marvin winked. 

More laughter filled the room, easily replacing the awkward tension marring their earlier interactions. Dinner was supposed to be fun and light-hearted to usher in big news for the year ahead. If conversations about the bleak future of their shared NBA team could offer a distraction, Terry and Patrice would watch every 40-point loss with glee.

Patrice cleaned the corners of her mouth and tossed her napkin on top of her clean plate in surrender to the indulgent meal. "I think some of my students are gonna sing Lift Every Voice at a game during Black History Month. We could go as a family. It'd be our first little mixed outing."

"You sure you'll feel up to it?" 

Chatter stopped. Terry swore he heard Aretha gasp before the final track faded into silence. The air in the room felt stagnant as if it were also holding its breath in anticipation of the fallout. Patrice blinked twice as her head tilted to one side in the confused look she sported right before she picked her victim apart for answers. It was the calm before an ugly storm.

Rosalyn wished she could've put the words back in her mouth and swallowed them whole so they'd never come forth again. The question was meant for her internal dialogue and a side conversation with her good friend and gossip partner, not the group discussion. 

She waited with the rest of the crew, breath drawn into tight lungs, praying that her daughter hadn't caught her innuendo. 

Patrice smiled a tight-lipped smile, the expression looking more like a grimace than an indicator of true happiness. "Why wouldn't I be up to it?" 

"Somethin' goin' on that day, Mrs. Ros?" When Terry said his vows, the part left in the margins was the commitment to join his wife in conflict, even if his parents were on the other side. They'd sort through the details later. And, honestly, he enjoyed a sprinkling of mess every once in a while.

Rosalyn released a cool titter to erase the lines creasing her forehead in worry. "I figured it'd be in the middle of the week. You know how P gets about her babies." Another slip to make Patrice's ears perk in curiosity. Leon wiped a large palm across his face to muffle a quiet groan. Diedra pretended to pick at sweet potatoes she had no intention to eat. Marvin nearly choked on a heavy gulp of water he didn't need. Rosalyn tripped over her words to clear up her mistake again. "She loves her students! Whew, is it warm in here, or am I having one of my personal summers?" 

"It is a little warm. Must be that oven," Diedra rushed to confirm. "Mo, can you turn the oven off? I'm sure the cobbler is done by now." 

"Leon and Ros, y'all ain't had my peach cobbler yet. Make sure you loosen up your belts and make some room by the time I get back." Marvin's deep baritone reverberating in uneasy laughter did little to lighten the mood. Everyone was in deep shit. 

An unholy mishmash of utensils clanging and plates stacking interrupted Leon's response as Patrice scrambled to collect dishes before Marvin could push away from the table. "We'll grab it!" she blurted while tugging Terry to his feet hard enough to make him force down a cube of ice he wasn't ready to swallow. "Come on, TJ. I need your help." 

"Shit," Terry hissed, rubbing his aching throat. "I'm comin', girl. Slow down."

Curses and grumbles about being far too rough with a pinch to the underside of his upper arm followed Terry and Patrice out of the dining room and into the sweltering kitchen across the narrow hallway. 

Patrice chucked spoons and forks into the dirty side of Dee Dee's farmhouse sink before reaching the counter and gripping for dear life with both hands, her arms shaking in rapidly rising fury.

"Rinse the dishes with me and turn your back," Patrice instructed the moment they were safely out of earshot. She waited impatiently for Terry to drag his feet toward the kitchen sink, already exhausted and ready to rip the bandaid off the whole ordeal if it meant he could get back home enough time to fall asleep on the couch with Troy Aikman commentating in the background. 

He sighed like he'd worked a full day's shift and reluctantly placed one of his mother's fancy ramekins under a steady stream of warm water. 

After Terry's long, lip-flapping huff, he and Patrice spoke at the same time. "They know." 

The pressing, the slips of the tongue, the looks across the table like there was a joke Terry and Patrice weren't in on – they knew. But when? And for how long? 

"Did you tell your sisters?" 

"No, I didn't tell my sisters. I know how to keep a secret." Terry answered, taking exception to the insinuation that he would be the one to blab despite their ironclad pact. 

Patrice kissed her teeth. "Oh, whatever. I asked you not to tell Robert Mitchell what I said about the senior formal, and not only did you tell, you punched him in the mouth!" 

"I did not tell him what you said. I punched him in the mouth first, then went to class. No words were exchanged." 

"You are a liar, Terrence James, but that is not the point." Patrice whisper-yelled as laughter swelled from the other room. "Think. Have your parents said anything weird since we got back?" 

Terry directed his eyes to the ceiling to rewind through the previous two weeks but came up empty save for an insignificant conversation the morning they got in from D.C. "My mom did ask if you felt okay. Something about not being able to smell like you used to." 

"I never told her that. The only person who knew I was having trouble with certain smells was –" 

"Your mom. When she called on Christmas Eve." 

Like the missing piece to a puzzle, an innocuous conversation unlocked the key to their Scooby-Doo mystery. The mention of cinnamon and its all-out assault on Patrice's senses must've been the first domino to fall. That's why her mother rushed off the phone when they'd typically spend no less than an additional 15 minutes pretending to hang up while sparking insignificant nuggets of conversation until someone broke the seal. That's why Terry received a call from his mother asking if Patrice was feeling sick. And that's why, despite supposedly being entirely in the dark about the reason for their first-ever Sunday dinner as a family, none of the older adults in the room could stop themselves from talking about babies and parenting. 

As the realization that their surprise was ruined long before it could take shape, fresh, hot tears began to cascade down Patrice's cheeks. Terry sprang into action, shutting off the water to softly catch the evidence of his wife's inner turmoil on his index finger's knuckle. "It's alright, baby. Come here." 

Faint cries joined shaking shoulders as Terry pulled Patrice into his chest by her elbow before peppering kisses at her crown. Her arms encircled his waist, squeezing tight while he ran his hands up and down the back of her oversized sweatshirt to soothe her second emotional outburst of the day. "Talk to me. What's the matter?" 

"It's all fucked up," Patrice heaved before muffling a short sob against Terry's body. "I want to go home. Fuck today! I don't care anymore!"

Assuming the role of reliable comforter didn't deter Terry from smiling down at Patrice with a plan that made his eyes twinkle like an excited child. "That's no fun, sailor," he cooed into her hairline before a quick kiss. "I planned to make this worthwhile, and I need those acting skills I love so much." 

"What's the plan?" Patrice sniffed as she looked up at her knight in shining armor to wait for his day-saving plan.

"Terrence James is a liar, remember?" Embers of mischief animated thick eyebrows wiggling on Terry's forehead, leaving Patrice silently begging for more context. He kissed her nose and held his lips in place to keep their plan confined to their bubble of solitude. "We're gonna lie, and I need you to follow my lead."

"You have to tell me something! Don't leave me in the dark."

Clamoring in the other room snapped their attention toward their parents, who were still waiting for the sweet treat they'd been promised. 

"What's goin' on in there?" 

"My sugar dropping, now! Stop all that kissin' and bring the cobbler before I pass out." 

"And make sure you wash your hands!" 

Minutes were dwindling into precious seconds, which required more spooning cold ice cream on top of warm dessert neatly packed into bowls for a room full of antsy elders. 

Terry quickly started an assembly line, with Patrice falling in line but still pressing for answers. He carefully pulled vanilla ice cream from the ice box, procured his Mama's good scoop, and hummed while he worked like the world around him hadn't capsized into chaos. That didn't stop Patrice from pestering him incessantly until he turned to briefly kiss her forehead in the process of preparing worthwhile servings. 

"Have I ever steered you wrong?" When she opened her mouth for a rebuttal, Terry cut her off with a rough finger on her pouty lips. "Don't answer that. What I'm saying is trust me. I got the three of us at all times. What I need from you, gorgeous, is to give me that winning smile, put some sweetness in your voice, and…" Terry held his final word as he plopped hefty round dollops of sweet vanilla ice cream onto three servings of cobbler then carefully balanced them on a serving tray with the needed utensils. "Follow my lead." 

"How will I know what to say, Terry?" 

Terry tapped her nose and gently pushed her toward the room's threshold before gathering three additional bowls in his hands. He winked as he walked past her. "Takes a liar to know a liar. Come on."

Patrice didn't refer to her truth stretching as lying. She preferred to view it as world-building, taking a page from her lesson plans to explore weaving exciting narratives together for entertainment's sake. And, sure, she was the only one who would derive any pleasure from falling into her elaborate storytelling, but so what? Plus, that part of her life was long gone. She was rusty, unprepared, and dreaded having to be the supporting actress to a leading man she hadn't seen in action since they were teenagers. 

A deep exhale helped Patrice's still racing thoughts and put on a believably happy face in enough time to shuffle behind Terry into the dining room. 

"Who wants cobbler?" Her chirping sounded too eager for someone who was shaking from rage moments earlier, but she was committed to the bit. It was too late to turn back. 

Various answers in the affirmative provided enough of a distraction for Terry to shoot Patrice a warning look. Calm down. His eyes said it all, and Patrice didn't need a second eyebrow raise to get the memo. 

They took their seats side by side, allowing their parents a few moments of unwitting happiness before Terry began his charade. 

"So…we have some news. We thought about calling on New Year's Eve but figured this was something better shared in person." Like children anticipating the arrival of Santa Claus by Christmas morning, Terry and Patrice's parents practically jumped from their seats to hear what they already knew. Chairs scraped against the polished hardwood to get closer to the table. Eating stopped. Bodies leaned forward in suspense. Terry had their attention in the palm of his hand left hand while he placed the palm of his right hand on Patrice's thigh to keep up the facade. 

"We're…moving." 

The words didn't quite register to anyone but Patrice as she sat there fighting to keep her eyes from squinting in uncontrollable laughter. Moving? Of all things, moving was Terry's grand plan to catch their parents off guard. But, as she watched the light of expectation slowly turn into confusion, she made a mental note to give her man his props. He'd successfully thrown a cartoonishly large wrench into their assumptions. 

Diedra cleared her throat and smoothed a hand over her auburn pixie cut. "I'm sorry, James, can you say that again? You two are –" 

"Moving," Terry reiterated plainly. "When we were in DC, we talked about finally getting out of here and startin' somewhere fresh, right, baby?" 

Patrice chimed in. "I disagreed with Terrence at first, but he convinced me. How amazing would it be to explore a new city together? And the DMV is perfect. There's government work for him…" 

"And teaching work for P. We'd live in the suburbs, so y'all wouldn't have to deal with the city noise when you visit. It's perfect." 

If they were ever asked to rate their improv for the afternoon, both Terry and Patrice would mark their performance at a solid seven and a half. There was room for improvement, but, dammit, they were a worthwhile team. Terry gave Patrice an appreciative squeeze, and she expertly played the role of sweet, innocent wife by wrapping her arms around his bicep while they waited for the shock on Rosalyn's face to transition into the only version of happiness she could muster. 

Patrice watched her mother's lips purse in a tight smile until she found enough wherewithal to respond kindly. "That's great, but what's so wrong with Fayetville? Don't you two want to be around your Mama and daddy?" 

"Exactly," Marvin chimed in. "Why now? What's there that you can't get here?" 

Perfect. Terry couldn't have concocted a more perfect scheme if he was given weeks to prepare. The spontaneity of it all made for air so thick that he could've cut into it and served a slice alongside his daddy's famous cobbler. 

Terry looked over at Patrice to defer, preferring to let her flex her strongest muscle. She seamlessly took on both questions without faltering. "New opportunities," Patrice exclaimed as if the answer was as clear as a summer day. "Fayetteville has been good to us, but imagine how we'll grow together in a new city. We love y'all dearly, but it's time for us to spread our wings as a couple. You understand, right, Daddy?" 

"Not really, baby girl." Leon shook his head in silent disbelief as he wrung his hands together. "Can't say I'm ready for you to leave yet. Feels like I just got you back from A&T, and here you are all grown up and trying to leave again." 

Crestfallen silence blanketed the room. In all her years, Patrice had only seen her father look so forlorn one other time. They'd just finished unpacking her freshman dorm. Once the sobering realization that he was leaving his only daughter behind to tackle new horizons, sadness overtook him faster than he could wish it away. Patrice could see him reliving that afternoon and so many more as he pushed bits of crust and peach chunks around in his bowl for a distraction.

"We'll miss y'all," Terry answered, still holding on to the lie for a few moments longer, hoping his mother would cave to set up their grand finale. Diedra tried to remain cheerful in the face of heartbreaking news. 

She clasped her hands together and smiled wide. "Well, I think that is incredible news! You know, I have a realtor friend out there who is still selling houses. Let me go in my purse and grab her card. We'll get you two set up with a down payment, make sure we coordinate a moving plan and tour with you to make sure you're getting the best available, and oh, it'll be wonderful! Let me go and grab my purse!" 

Mission accomplished. DeeDee had cracked like an egg, still trying to contain the runny yolk of suppressed feelings while the remains ran through her fingers and made a mess. 

"Mama," Terry called out. The show was over. Curtail closed. Time for the big reveal. When Diedra didn't stop rambling, Terry dialed up the volume. "Mom!" Dee Dee stopped in her tracks. Terry released an easy chuckle. "Sit down. We have one more thing to tell you." 

"Oh, hell. No more bad news, boy. It better be something worth hearing." 

Marvin's exasperation drew stilted laughter from Terry, and then Patrice, who joined him with her eyes closed and tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. A shared, all-out cackle they couldn't contain any longer helped further confuse the four sets of eyes looking back at them. 

Patrice tried to calm down with a deep breath, but a look at Terry's smiling face sent her back to the top of her guffaw. "Oh my goodness! I can't breathe. Baby, help!" 

"I can't stop until you stop!" They tried again several times over, waiting for the other to calm down until they could force the truth out between giggles. Terry wiped at his waterline, then chuckled through an answer. "We're not moving, y'all. It's all a joke." 

Rosalyn blinked back her bewilderment. "I don't get it." 

"That's not the news. We had to get y'all back for thinking you could know that we're our business before we knew our business and then laugh without us. How rude!" 

"So it's true," Diedra questioned, eye beginning to buck with newfound hope. "Are you…"

Patrice nodded and leaned into an already beaming Terry. "It is. You're gonna be a grandma alongside that lady over there," she confirmed, pointing at Rosalyn. 

"And y'all are going to be granddads. Or Pop-Pops. Whichever you prefer." 

Terry's additional barely registered over the sounds of hands slapping together in excited hi-fives and high-pitched squeals full of the kind of love only a baby boomer with dreams of cradling children born from their children could exude. 

Leon raised his hands to give the Lord a high-spirited thanks once he saw Patrice's grainy sonogram, which made the news all the more real. A grandchild was on the way, and not from his knucklehead of a son like he'd imagined—not yet. 

Marvin rushed in and out of the room, returning with a black and Carolina blue onesie filling once empty hands. Terry looked on in shock. Where had his father been hiding that? 

Rosalyn and Diedra immediately jumped into visions of floral arrangements for a garden party baby shower and talked about how their children could avoid childcare costs with both nearing retirement. 

The youngest Richmond couple found themselves ushered out of chairs and forced into a group hug, surrounded by unconditional love and bubbling excitement to meet a person still developing lungs. 

Patrice struggled to speak against their embrace. "I take it y'all are excited." 

"Over the moon, little girl." Rosalyn gushed. "The babies are havin' a baby. You're all grown up! Congratulations!" 

Terry used a little wiggle room to return his mother-in-law's excitement with a rub against her arm. "Thank you, Ms. Ros. We appreciate y'a– ouch! Mom! Let go!" 

With her pointer finger and thumb, Diedra tugged and twisted a new spot on Terry's inner arm as punishment for his earlier antics. She let go with another harsh pull before smacking his arm for good measure. "You might be grown, but not that grown. Don't play with me, boy!" 

"And don't think I forgot about you, Patrice Nicole!" 

"Sorry, Mama. It was Terry's idea!" 

Though things were changing, some remained the same. No matter how much Terry and Patrice grew and prepared to take on the responsibility of ushering their own child through the world, Terry and Patrice would never escape their parent's love or discipline.

———————————

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[changetyre]

Make a wish

SUMMARY: It's Ivy's 2nd Birthday and her birthday wish is a little bigger than you'd expected. Part of Verstappen Family Verse

WARNINGS: None?

A/N: Requested over on wattpad ;)

"Oh no Max the party hats, I forgot to get party hats." Your heart sunk to your stomach. 

"No, I bought some." Max calmed you down. 

Today was Ivy's 2nd birthday and she had been so insistent about celebrating her birthday at a race with her Papa and Uncles despite you telling her she could have a big birthday party at home with her friends. Ivy almost cried when you suggested something else wanting nothing more but to be at the "waces!" for her birthday. 

Despite this, you still wanted her birthday to have somewhat of a little celebration so you'd spent days making and decorating cupcakes to take to the paddock and buying some decorations for Ivy. 

You'd wanted everything to be a surprise so you'd mostly work at night so that the girls didn't see you because you also knew that if Lea saw anything she would definitely say something since she was as good at keeping secrets as her uncle Lando.  

But Max could tell how stressed and tired you'd grown with trying to get everything perfect for her and he was glad it was finally the day so you could relax a little. You'd woken up earlier to get the stuff in the car so that Brad could drive it to the track before you arrived with Max, Ivy, and Lea. 

"Okay, I'll go now." Brad got in the car to drive off. 

"Wait no did I bring down the streamers?" You asked. 

"Yes," Max answered waving Brad away. 

"Wait what about the-" 

"Schatje, everything's there." Max cupped your face to get you to look at him. 

"But what if-" 

"If it's not she won't even notice darling, it'll be perfect because we'll be there." Max kissed you not letting you argue further. He could feel you relax in his arms. 

"I'm sorry, I just want everything to be perfect." You hugged your husband tightly. 

"You'll never reach perfection baby, trust me I've tried" Max kissed your head. "But you're close enough and Ivy's gonna love whatever we do for her." 

 __________

"PAPA WOOK!" Ivy yelled excitedly as she ran out of her room. 

Max turned to see his daughter in a big puffy Belle dress which she had begged him to buy for her birthday. 

"Oh my god is that Belle?" Max gasped dramatically. 

You stood by the door watching the interaction with loving eyes. 

"No Papa is me Iby!" Ivy ran up to her dad who lifted her up and twirled her around. 

"How's my gorgeous birthday girl?" Max kissed her cheeks. 

"Papa I tuwn two." Ivy held up her tiny hand trying to hold up 2 fingers but her third finger kept slipping out of the grasp of her little thumb and pinky finger. 

"Yes, you do and you need to stop growing." Max hugged her closer sighing at the idea of his girls growing up. 

A few seconds later Lea peaked her head around the corner of her room. "Mamma?" She called your name. 

"You ready baby?" You asked your daughter whom you'd also bought a dress for since you wanted to make sure she didn't feel left out. 

She nodded shyly, she'd started growing shy around you and her dad lately whenever she showed you something which you found adorable. 

She walked out wearing her Belle dress too except hers was the blue town dress and you'd helped her put a blue bow on her hair. 

"What a gorgeous princess!" Max also sighed dramatically while holding Ivy who clapped in his arms happily. 

You had breakfast quickly, the girls and you having pancakes as a treat for Ivy's birthday while Max had to eat something else to keep his weight down for getting in the car later. 

You strapped everyone into the car and off you went to the race track. 

________

As soon as you arrived there were cameras everywhere but by now the girls were used to it especially Lea who liked to pose for the cameras despite Max and you telling her to keep her head low. 

"Mama Wando?" Lea pointed down to the McLaren hospitality as you approached the Redbull hospitality. 

"Maybe we'll see him later Ivy he's not here yet." You lied and heard her sigh sadly as she rested her head on your shoulder.

You'd arrived at the track pretty early since Max didn't have to be on the track until around 4 today but as a surprise for Ivy's birthday, You and Max had asked the boys if they could arrive early to surprise Ivy for her birthday knowing she would just want to spend the day with her favorite people. 

You walked into the Redbull hospitality and Brad, Vicky, and other staff members were there ready just like planned. 

"Ivy look!" Max called out to his daughter who lifted her head from your shoulder to look towards her dead. 

"SURPRISE!" They called out as party poppers went off and confetti flew everywhere Ivy's eyes and mouth were wide open as she looked around the decorated room. 

She squealed in your arms squirming for you to put her down and as soon as you did she went running to where there were presents and a huge cake with a small fondant F1 car where Ivy was the driver wearing a tiara. 

"PAPA LOOK!" Ivy called out to her dad pointing at the top of the cake. 

"Wow, Ivy." Max gasped surprised as if he hadn't specifically asked for her cake. 

You looked around to look for Lea just to find her munching away at the snacks that were laid out across the snack table despite eating breakfast not long ago. Just as you turned again you noticed Lando, Dani, Carlos, and Charles at the door, Ivy too distracted looking at her cake with her dad to notice. 

"Come in." You waved the drivers over. Max had previously discussed all of this with Christian and he'd gladly accepted having the drivers over at the hospitality for a few hours for the celebration. 

"MY BABY!" Lando yelled as soon as he was inside. 

Ivy's head snapped immediately in the direction of her favorite person. "WANDOOOO!" She yelped as she ran as fast as her little feet could carry her towards her godfather. 

Lea hearing the commotion turned around and also ran towards her godfather, Daniel scooping her up in her arms happily. 

It didn't take long for the rest of the drivers to pile in and Ivy excitedly greeted everyone although always kept coming back to Lando's arms. 

Although you'd insisted they didn't have to bring anything you weren't surprised to see the gift table had doubled in numbers at all the gifts the drivers had bought only hoping they hadn't spent ridiculous amounts of money on a 2-year-old. 

"Happy Birthday dear Ivy! Happy Birthday to you!" Everyone finished singing as Max held Lea in his arms, you holding Lea in yours as you stood behind the birthday cake. Antoine, Louis, and Joris moved across taking pictures and videos of your family per their own request as you'd told them they didn't need to take any pictures and you'd be happy with simply their presence but they insisted. 

"Make a wish princess." Max lowered Ivy so she could blow at her candles. 

"I wish for a widdle broder!" Ivy yelled out unashamedly blowing out her candles afterwards. 

You and Max looked at each other in shock as everyone around you burst out laughing. "Uh, you're meant to say your wish in your head baby," Max told his daughter not really sure how to proceed. 

"hmm." She shrugged unbothered as she squirmed for Max to put her down. "Wando Cake!" She called out to her godfather who gladly came over to help Ivy start cutting the cake (horribly). 

After everyone got a piece and Lea sat sharing her piece with Lando on his lap you all sat and relaxed for a while, Max by your side as Lea played around with Joris and Charles whom she still had an obsession with. 

Max turned to you blinking hard three times, his little I love you gesture. "So what do you think about Ivy's wish huh?" Max asked you. 

You laughed at the thought. Max laughing with you. "If it's with you I want it all." You told him lovingly. 

"In another year?" Max dragged your chair closer to him so there was barely a gap between the both of you. 

"Sounds good to me." You smiled before Max kissed you lovingly. 

[hauntedestheart]

Security Footage - Artifacts (Pt. 1)

One of Trevor & Andy’s misadventures, a more detailed account of the sort described in Security Measures - Artifacts

Another story that starts with a party- but at least this time, Trevor was the host.

The young man had plenty of cause to dislike parties. He was an introvert. Being short meant he got pushed around in crowds. Party playlists usually contained terrible songs. Nobody ever invited him to them growing up.

However the main reason he hated them was because ever since Andy had come back into his life, it felt like the only times he ever wound up at a party was when he was chasing down some unhinged body snatcher. Being exposed to the absolute dregs of the party ecosystem had really put a dampener on his college experience and caused him to swear off of soirees- which was a testament to what a good mood he was in when he invited some of his friends over to his new off-campus apartment for "a little get together."

Recently he and Andy had experienced a run-in with an individual in possession of a ring that allowed him to switch bodies by grabbing someone's hand… no points for guessing who his first target was when he arrived in their city.

The ring somehow travelled with the snatcher so in a bit of a twist on the usual formula, the guy had actually switched out of Andy's body by the time they located it, leaving another random person inside, and the couple spent several days working their way through a daisy chain of body swaps until they (and the angry mob of victims) finally cornered the troublemaker and forced him to fix everything.

And not only did everyone get their bodies back, Trevor got the ring as well.

In his mind, the ring was a major breakthrough. It was the first concrete item he'd found that would actually be able to help Andy with his condition- maybe it couldn't stop snatchers outright, but it gave them a tool to fight back with when they did strike. The end of their body swapping woes was something to celebrate, and with the ring safely tucked away in his nightstand drawer in case of an emergency, Trevor felt comfortable letting loose a little bit.

Just a little bit though, and to be on the safe side, the guest list was just a handful of close friends, and the activities were limited to card games, Mario Kart, and Just Dance. There were still drugs and alcohol though- it wouldn't be a college party without them.

The lanky white guy on the couch with the bowl of chips between his legs was RJ, a friendly stoner type who had lived next to Trevor back in the dorm days and had managed to graduate from "randomly assigned neighbor" to "friend" before they moved out. Their friendship was like a weed, in the sense that it stayed healthy even with little attention, and in the sense that they smoked a lot of weed together.

The chubby Asian guy sitting in a plastic folding chair in the corner, glaring at his phone, was Han. When Trevor had dared to venture out to a welcome event thrown by the school's (small) LGBTQ+ society in the first weeks of college, Han had been the only other gay guy in the freshman class to show up, and the two had remained in touch out of a sense of loyalty ever since.

The pretty black girl lying on the carpet was Monica, a year above Trevor but one of his closest friends. A journalism major, she'd interviewed him for a project about victims of bullying and was so charmed by him that she decided to take him under her wing- and when she found out he could match her attitude, she liked him even more. Curled up next to her was her boyfriend Alexander, a lean and laid back white boy on the track team who had to work hard to keep up with his girlfriend.

The party had been going on for an hour or so and they were playing Just Dance (switching over from Mario Kart after RJ kept thrashing everyone) so the group was treated to the rare sight of Trevor dancing- or rather, attempting to dance. There wasn't much rhythm in his skinny little body, but he gamely wiggled from side to side to the music in an attempt to prove that his hips did not, in fact, lie, and Andy was so in love with Trevor that he managed to find the awkward gyrations endearing.

"Oh yeah, shake it for me baby," he teased, ostensibly as a joke, but the way his eyes were glued to Trevor's little booty as it swung around in the air said otherwise.

Trevor finished the song with a respectable score, a sigh of relief, and thunderous applause from Andy that would have been a standing ovation if Andy wasn't worried about everyone noticing his fat semi. Down boy, he told himself. Not while his friends are here.

Trevor was red faced and embarrassed, but he smiled at his boyfriend then tossed him the controller (Andy caught it with one hand) before disappearing down the hallway towards his room. Andy lazily scrolled through options and chatting with RJ about what to pick next, but the game was forgotten when Trevor emerged a minute later holding a bong.

"Attention everyone," he announced. "We're entering into phase two."

"Sick!" RJ shouted out, bouncing up and down in place on the couch cushion with excitement and nearly crashing into poor Andy.

"That's my cue," Monica said, pressing a kiss to Alexander's cheek before hoisting herself up to her feet and heading over to the kitchen for her purse. Alexander scooted over to be closer to the coffee table, striking a relaxed pose as he watched Trevor and Andy get everything set up.

"Han, are you feeling up for some smoke?" Trevor asked, frowning when he noticed how morose his friend was. Han wasn't always the cheeriest but this was a new level of gloom, even for him- still, he grunted and dragged his folding chair over to the table that Andy had begun clearing cards off of.

Trevor set the bong down on the table, and RJ's eyes lit up when he got a closer look at it. "No shit, is that the same one you had when we were in the dorms?"

"Nostalgic, right?" Trevor shook it from side to side and the clear water inside sloshed around.

"This bong is special to you two?" Andy asked, eyeing it curiously- he'd seen Trevor used the worn (but clean) glass tube many times, but its history had never come up.

"Nope," Trevor snorted. While he did have fond memories of lying on the floor of his dorm room talking about life with RJ when they were younger and dumber, the truth was… "RJ's just impressed I still have it because he breaks all of his after a month."

"That's not-" RJ's knee knocked the bong off the table and it was only saved from shattering by Andy's quick reflexes; the athletic young man caught it inches from the floor and gently returned it to its proper place. Trevor waved his hands vaguely at RJ, as if to say, see?, and RJ lifted his own hands. "Hey, IN MY DEFENSE… I am a little drunk right now. Looking forwards to being crossfaded though."

"Nice catch man," Alexander complimented Andy- though he and Trevor were acquainted through Monica, this was his first time meeting Andy, and he'd already developed a bit of a man-crush on the big guy. "You play sports?"

"Nah, used to play some basketball in high school though," Andy shrugged. "I do a game of pick up every now and then for fun though."

"Well, you're shredded," Alexander said, eyeing Andy's arms enviously.

"What, you mean this?" Andy flexed, bouncing his grapefruit sized bicep up and down a few times, and he gave a cocky grin. "I work out every now and then."

RJ whistled appreciatively, leaning over and pressing a finger into the peak of Andy's bicep as hard as he could. "That's sick bro."

"I gotta say, it's nice to have a man around the house," Trevor joked, slipping into the empty spot on the couch next to Andy.

"Yup," Andy yanked his boyfriend close and pressed a kiss onto his head. "And I've got the best one in the world right here."

Everyone in the room groaned and looked away as Andy showered Trevor with kisses, which Trevor was powerless to stop no matter how hard he shoved Andy away so instead he just surrendered to the onslaught and accepted the love. He pulled his face out of from the spot it was nestled into Andy's chest (truthfully, he could have stayed a bit longer) and peeked up at Andy; the two gazed into each others eyes and smiled at each other like they had a secret… which, of course, they did.

Not everyone was so impressed by the saccharine display though, and Monica broke the moment by loudly clearing her throat. Trevor and Andy separated (slightly) and Monica shook the bag of marijuana in her hands like she was ringing a bell as she called the meeting to order.

"Okay, well, now that we're done with the PDA," she said, a sour look flashing on her face for a moment as she side-eyed Andy, and she loaded up the bowl while she spoke. "Since I bought the weed, I get to decide who takes the first hit, and I think it should be Trevor since he so graciously invited us all over to his new place like I've been begging him to do for weeks now, and I think he deserves a little treat for it."

"Thank you Monica, for both the weed, and the attitude," Trevor snickered, and Monica smiled at him as she passed him the bong. Trevor picked up his lighter and clicked it on, staring at the flame for a moment, then he lifted it into the air for an impromptu toast. "To things going well for once."

Everyone (except for Han, who was still moping) cheered as Trevor lit the weed and the water began heating up, and a minute later, Trevor was exhaling a plume of skunk scented smoke. Greedily, RJ tried to snatch the bong from him, but Trevor batted his hand away ("Let someone else have some before you hog it all") and handed it across the table to Alexander. Alexander accepted the bong with a smile, but instead of taking a hit, he offered it to Monica.

"Ladies first?" he said, doing a half-decent smolder that made him look rather suave, and she gasped with mock delight.

"Why thank you babe!" she exclaimed, giving him a quick peck on the lips as she grabbed the bong from him. She toyed with the stem suggestively for a moment and eyed the other boys seated across from her. "At least someone here knows how to treat a woman right."

"Ma'am, you're surrounded by homos," Trevor deadpanned.

"Exactly," Monica took a deliberate, luxurious pull from the bong, then slowly exhaled the smoke like a queen. "So you should be worshipping me."

"We got Han, Trevor, bisexual king Andy," RJ counted them up on his fingers, scrunching his forehead with exertion as he did simple math, and he pondered the three digits he had extended before lifting up his head and smirking at Alexander. "The straight boys are getting outnumbered dude."

Alexander winced and scratched his beard. "Uh, actually I'm also bisexual…"

"Nooooooooo!" RJ cried out, horrified by the betrayal. "You can't leave me alone with them! I can't be a minority!"

"Hey, you're all minorities," Trevor began, locking eyes with Monica, and the two of them finished the joke in unison. "You're in the Glee Club."

"See?" RJ's hands flailed as he watched the two of them cackle. "How am I supposed to know what that means?"

Alexander, too normal to know what to make of any of that, busied himself by taking his turn with the bong, fading into the background for a moment as Monica, Trevor, and RJ bantered back and forth. He slowly released smoke from his nostrils as Monica and Trevor made more jokes he didn't understand, and Andy caught his eye through the smoke and gestured at the three friends with a good natured (but long suffering) smile. Solidarity between boyfriends, he seemed to be saying.

Alexander offered Andy the bong, but to his surprise, the big guy politely waved it away. "Nah, I'm not into that stuff."

"Okay well if he's giving up his turn, I'm taking it," RJ said, snapping into attention the second weed was up for grabs. He snatched the bong out of Alexander's hands before anyone could protest and he leaned in to take a hit, pausing an inch away from the bong to tease Andy before going in. "I swear, you must be the one guy on the planet that those anti-drug programs worked on."

Alexander eyed Andy curiously. "Dude, you don't smoke?"

"I try to stay sober," Andy shrugged, a bit uncomfortable- the truth was, he used to partake in substances, but after a few months as a body snatcher magnet, the idea of taking anything mind altering sounded awful to him. "I just don't like anything that makes me feel like I'm not in control."

"Really?" Monica raised her eyebrow and pinched her lips tight- something she did when she smelled bullshit. "Because I seem to recall you going pretty wild at a bar downtown a few weeks back."

The pointed undertones of her comment were not lost on anyone, and the mood in the room instantly became a lot tenser. Andy's shoulders fell, and Trevor winced- Monica had made it clear to him many times that she had a lot of issues with Andy, but he'd thought that she would behave herself at a party and not take the chance to bring it up to the poor guy's face. And apparently he wasn't the only one who felt that way.

"Monica, honey, don't," Alexander grabbed his girlfriend gently by the shoulder and murmured in her ear, glancing over awkwardly at Andy and Trevor. "You promised."

"What? I'm just saying," Monica brushed him off and waved her hands in the air like she was presenting invisible evidence. She glanced around the room, waiting for someone to challenge her. "The man says he doesn't drink or do drugs, meanwhile half of my girlfriends have stories about him getting plastered and grinding up on them. Am I wrong?"

She wasn't wrong- she was just missing a few crucial details.

"I… wasn't myself then," Andy answered diplomatically, and Monica hummed.

"Seems to happen to you a lot," Monica said with a disapproving glare. "A little bit too much for a guy with a really nice boyfriend."

Andy couldn't meet Monica's eyes and instead looked glumly at the coffee table, a boulder of guilt pressing down on his back. The couple had decided early on that it would be safest to keep Andy's "condition" a secret- if word got out, it could put him at even more risk than he already was -but the downside of this was that the boys had no explanation for why "Andy" would periodically ditch Trevor to go on wild sprees… or for why Trevor kept taking him back afterwards.

As far as anyone was concerned, Andy was just an incurable playboy who relapsed often, and Trevor was the sorry sap who was letting himself be treated like shit.

As usual, when Andy wasn't able to defend himself, Trevor stepped in. Resting one hand on the small of his boyfriend's back for support, Trevor put on his most stern voice. "Monica, we've talked about this. I know it seems weird but Andy and I are happy, and I really don't like it when you talk badly about him."

"I'm just looking out for you Trevor," Monica placed a hand on the table and leaned in, her voice softening to what Trevor liked to call her "mom voice," and Trevor bit his lip. "You're young and you're innocent-"

RJ pause his toke to interrupt her. "Uh, you're like a year older than us."

"Exactly, babies," Monica said without missing a beat. "And mama here has seen tons of guys like this who think that just because they're hot shit that they can toy around with guys and girls, and it never works out. You can't trust a player, and I think you deserve someone who's going to be there for you."

Her eyes snapped suddenly to Andy's with such intensity that everyone else flinched, and she glared at him like a lioness. Andy was a foot taller than her and twice as broad, but that didn't seem to phase her in the slightest. "Which is why I want you to know that, I see you, I am watching you, and if you keep playing around with my sweet boy then I'm gonna have to end you."

"Monica! Too far!" Alexander put his hand on her chest and gently reigned her back in; she allowed him, but kept her eyes on Andy. Monica's beleaguered boyfriend rushed to apologize. "Dude, I'm so sorry-"

"No, don't apologize," Andy said, to everyone's surprise. Despite the daggers Monica was shooting his way, he seemed calm, and he looked her dead in the eyes. "She's just looking out for him because she loves him, I get that. I love him too." One of his hands drifted down to Trevor's, and the two laced their fingers together. Andy focused on the warmth of their connection, and smiled sadly. "And I really wish that I could be a better man for him."

Monica stared at their interlocked hands for a second, eyes narrowing, then she leaned back. Apparently appeased for the moment, she pulled the bong away from RJ and began to reload it in a gesture of goodwill. Trevor let out a sigh of relief and slumped into Andy's shoulder.

"Hey, Han, is your date coming?" Trevor said, eager to change the subject, and all eyes shifted towards the silent young man. "He was invited too."

"Oh yeah!" Monica jumped in, sounding much more cheerful now that she was no longer in attack mode. "Rex, right? I saw his picture on the LGBT+ Society's page, he's cute! When's he getting here?"

Everyone stared at Han expectantly, and his eyes flicked from face to face. Clearly a bit uncomfortable, he shuffled in his seat and clutched his phone so tight that knuckles whitened, and then he scowled.

"Rex actually dumped me because he was, quote, 'kinda bored with me,'" Han said bitterly. "So no, don't think he's coming."

Silence settled over the room, punctuated only by a few coughs from RJ, who had inhaled too fast.

"That sucks dude," the stoner wheezed out, then he extended the bong towards Han. "You can have the next hit, sounds like you need it."

Han grabbed the bong and took the biggest, angriest hit anyone in the room had ever seen, and then jumped to his feet and stormed out of the room. Trevor rose to follow but Monica put her hand on his arm and stopped him- the guy definitely needed a moment to cool off before he was ready for any sort of human interaction.

"Okay I'm officially banishing this negative energy," RJ declared, exhaling another puff of smoke that no one realized he'd been holding in. "Let's smoke until we all forget everything that just happened."

Murmurs of agreement from the other partygoers, and Monica fished another baggie out of her purse.

In truth, Han didn't want to be a party pooper, but it was difficult for him to be around happy people when he was feeling so miserable. Han had always been unlucky in love, something he bitterly attributed to being an Asian who didn't fit into the neat stereotypes of "soft and submissive twink" or "dominant bro" that all the guys expected. People didn't want plain, chubby dudes like him. They wanted big hunks like Andy, or pretty little twinks like Trevor. And who was he to blame them? He wanted the same things.

He'd thought he'd found a kindred spirit in Trevor when they'd met freshmen year, but just when he'd finally worked up the courage to ask the other boy out, Andy had materialized out of thin air and snatched him away. Stupid, impossibly handsome Andy who was bigger and better than Han would ever be or could ever hope to compete with. In a desperate bid for companionship, Han had thrown himself into a string of failed relationships, but no matter how low he lowered his standards, things never worked out for him.

Han threw open the first door that he found which was, ironically enough, Trevor's bedroom. It figured that the only time he would ever end up in Trevor's bed was when he was plopping himself down on it to stew in his bitterness. The young man buried his head in his hands and sighed, then a glint of light out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Momentarily distracted from his doom spiral, Han glanced over at Trevor's nightstand and saw a ring sitting on top of it.

That's strange, he thought. Trevor doesn't wear jewelry.

Curious, he scooped it up for a closer look. A thick band of smooth, shiny gold with intricate patterns carved into the interior and a few clear gems dotting the outside at strategic points, and Han found himself mesmerized by the way the stones caught the light and twinkled. It was a beautiful ring but not Trevor's style- perhaps it was a gift from Andy, a sign their relationship was getting more serious.

The thought made jealousy bubble up from his belly and his head swam- the weed must be hitting him harder than he'd thought. The metal of the ring felt tingled against his skin and for some reason, he put it on, to feel for a moment what it would be like to have what he wanted in his grasp. Then the door flew open and when Han looked up, he saw Trevor's boyfriend standing there, with a stupid smile on his stupidly handsome face, with his stupidly big muscles, and his-

"Oh hey dude I…" Andy blinked, whatever thought was in his head disappearing into a puff of smoke. "I completely forgot what I came in here for."

The ring glimmered on his finger.

Do it.

Han reached out.

---

"Is it too much to ask for one normal night?" Andy yelled at the universe, grunting as he threw his body into door. "Or at least that I switch into somebody with some muscles?"

It had all happened so fast. One second he was sitting on the couch with Trevor, then it seemed like he blinked and he was alone in Trevor's room with his weird friend Han, and then Han had the ring, and then… he was trapped. In Han's body, and in Trevor's room, because Han (who had been thrilled with his new digs) had jammed a chair or something on the other side of the door and now Andy couldn't get it open. He could have busted down the door in a second if he were himself, but unfortunately, all of his hard earned muscles had been commandeered by a creep, so he had to make do with what he had.

Which isn't much, he though to himself, glaring down at Han's weak body with distaste.

Andy was an open-minded guy who did his best not to judge other people- he was blessed, he knew that! Not everybody had the time and genetics to build the kind of body that he had. But it was hard to be body positive when stuck with a body that wasn't his own, and once again, he was short and fat. Before puberty hit him like a sledgehammer and transformed him into an Adonis, Andy had been a chubby kid, so being in Han's body made him feel like he was twelve again. Small and powerless.

Andy channeled his frustration into another charge at the door and succeeded at nudging it open another inch, although the force of the blow made his borrowed shoulder throb. Nasty bruises were already forming, but hey- not his body.

He needed to get out of there now. Andy would freely admit that he was the jealous type and he'd never liked the way that Han looked at his boyfriend- Trevor was like the sun, who could blame the guy for developing a crush? But Trevor was his, and now that Han was him, there was no telling what he would do. The thought of that creep using his body to take advantage of his sweet little guy… using his muscles to sweep the twink off his feet… working Trevor open and fucking him with the massive cock he'd stolen while the real Andy was stuck with a little nub…

The rush of anger gave Andy the push he needed tackle the door at full strength, finally knocking the chair out of the way and sending him stumbling into the hallway. Light, music, and voices filtered down the dark hallway, and Andy scrambled to his feet- only to go crashing right back to the floor when he failed to vault over the fallen chair. (Han's body couldn't make the jump.) Cursing in pain, he half-crawled/half-stumbled down the hallway to the living room and burst in in a panic.

"Trevor, listen, Han found the ring and-"

He blinked as he registered the scene that laid before him- utter chaos.

RJ was running around the room at top speed, ducking and weaving around the furniture as he tried to escape Alexander, who was in hot pursuit behind him and gaining ground fast. They nearly plowed into Andy's own body, which Andy was standing dumbstruck in the middle of the room, both hands buried in the front of his jeans as whoever was in it fondled his with a dazed expression of shock. Poor Monica was pacing back and forth, babbling to herself as she grabbed her own breasts, while Trevor was standing dumbly by the entrance to the hallway, munching on a bag of chips.

Andy grabbed him by the shoulder. "Trevor?"

"Huh?" Trevor droned, looking at Andy with dumb, bloodshot eyes. He snickered at something funny in his head and slumped over onto Andy's shoulder. "Han, dude, I'm so high right now. I hallucinated I was the Hulk for a minute there, like, I was ripped. Everyone's gone crazy, lol."

Okay so not Trevor, Andy thought to himself. This must be the real RJ, which meant the one being chased by Alexander's body must be someone else- the golden ring glinting off of his finger confirmed it. But who was it? Was Trevor still trying to get the ring from Han? Or had Trevor already gotten it, and was now trying to keep it away from him? His questions were answered when "Alexander" caught up to "RJ" and managed to grab him by the waist.

"You can't stop me!" RJ's body taunted, struggling against his captor. It was clear that RJ's body was no match for Alexander's track and field trained muscles, but when Han stretched RJ's long arm out as far as it could go, he managed to grab onto Andy's body. With a flash, he was free, and he finished his sentence with Andy's voice. "With this ring, I can be anyone!"

He made a break for the door, but Trevor (the real Trevor, using Alexander's body) tossed RJ's body aside and dove for Han's legs, managing to send them both crashing to the ground. The two tussled for a moment, and while Andy's body clearly had the upper hand in terms of strength, Han was uncoordinated and caught off-guard, so he elected to retreat by hopping over to Monica's body as it passed by.

This turned out to be a mistake as he could barely walk in her shoes, and he wasn't able to hobble far before Trevor was upon him- but Han managed to catch Trevor unaware and switched the two of them, leaving him as the track and field star and Trevor in heels. Trevor had the presence of mind to take one of the heels off and throw it at Han's back, and Han gave a yelp and tripped into Trevor's body, sending chips flying everywhere. Meanwhile, whoever had been swapped from Monica's body into Andy's was grabbing his crotch again, but the expression on his face was one of relief rather than confusion.

"Oh thank god," Alexander groaned, thrilled to be anatomically male again, then his eyes widened when he realized the scale of the anatomy he held. "Oh my god!"

He gaped down at Andy's cock, then seemed to register Andy's pecs were also obstructing his view, and he reached up to cup them in his hands. A grin split his face as he began flexing, doing stereotypical macho-man poses as he geeked out over the incredible musculature he now possessed. Before he could get too comfortable, he was sent crashing back to Earth when RJ's body crashed into him and grabbed him by the hand, zapping him out of his dream body. He squeezed one of his skinny new arms and sighed.

A lot happened in the next few seconds as the partygoers tussled on the floor. RJ's body had Trevor's body the arm, while Monica's body was pounding her fists into Alexander's body, while Alexander's body was trying to hobble away while Trevor's body was curled around its legs, Andy's body was trapped on the floor being stepped on by all of them, and the real Andy's head was spinning as he tried to keep up with who was who.

"Trev?" he asked. "Where are you?"

Monica's body turned to glare at him, and Andy would recognize that look on any face.

"I told you, nothing good ever happens at parties!" Trevor huffed.

After they'd gotten the ring back, fixed all of the switches, and then gaslit their friends into thinking that they'd smoked some bad weed and had a very vivid group hallucination, Trevor decided that he'd better keep the ring in a harder to find place from then on.

Part Two

[nikethestatue]

I love the idea of how well and quickly Elain integrated into the IC and Night Court.

Forget the detractors. And let's even remove Azriel's personal feelings and attraction to her. Think about facts.

The scary Shadowsinger, that frightens everyone, including High Lords, offers to bring this sad, traumatized girl from HOW to the townhouse. He carries her in his arms, through the doors. And then, while he could've left her, his job done, he instead, offered to take her out to the garden. And when he could've left her there, his job done, he stayed with her and made her feel comfortable and safe.

Cassian, upon seeing Elain rushes to kiss her cheek. Yes, he is tactile by nature, but to him, she is his little sister-in-law, a friend who saved him.

The two brothers are all into the sisters' drama, gossiping about Nesta x Elain fight. First thing Azriel asked was 'what happened with Elain?!"

The two twins befriend her easily, and invite her to spend time with them. Perhaps she is the first one who didn't treat them as servants and spies, but as friends?

She and the twins baking and decorating cakes in the kitchen, laughing and joking.

Even Amren compliments Elain, acknowledging her abilities, her hidden strengths.

The poignant moment at the end of ACOWAR, where everyone is in the townhouse at last, and Elain announces that she'd like to plant more gardens. And then in ACOFAS, Rhys telling Feyre 'build a garden for Elain' in their new home. Why? Not only is Elain part of Night Court and this is now her home, which they all recognize, she is also an integral part of their family, because without her, half of them would be dead. Without her, the war would've been lost.

Think about it--Elain was responsible for the three pivotal additions to the war, which changed the course of battles. She was the one who initially Saw Vassa, and eventually Vassa came as a thunderbird, destroying the enemy Navy. Elain then found the Suriel, who provided information to Amen on how to 'unchain' herself and release her full powers on Hybern. Lastly Elain killed the King herself.

Even if they are short of praise, the IC knows that Elain is part of them now. They celebrate together, they scheme together, they support each other. Even in Cassian's ill-conceived assessment of Elain in her ugly black dress, there is....concern. Cassian worries about her and her belonging in the Court of Nightmares. He doesn't want the darkness of the place to rub off on her. Why? Because she is important to him and he wants her to be happy, and comfortable.

It's for Elain that they all stop eating at Solstice, waiting patiently under the warning gaze of Azriel. It's Elain's portrait that hangs in the River House, painted by her sister. It's Elain who is trusted to care for Feyre during her pregnancy and it's with Elain that the book ends, and she is carrying the most precious baby in her arms.

I love the dynamic of Elain within the IC, where the High Lord himself delivers her to and from HOW, and then worries when she is upset, and offers to fly her while taking the scenic route. In another ill-conceived move, Rhys interferes in hers and Azriel's amorous moment, but his concern is for Elain. Yes, the political ramifications as well, because everyone would be impacted, but he worries about Elain and having seen first hand how Graysen treated her, he doesn't want to see her brokenhearted.

Firstly, I can't wait to see the Rhys x Elain friendship blossom. When he was describing his sister, he might as well have been describing Elain. A warm, lovable and happy person.

Secondly I can't wait to see how Cassian and Elain will interact, because she is his brother's girl. I think/hope for some cute and awkward moments between the two of them.

Thirdly, I really want to see Mor playing wing woman for Elain and Azriel, hiding them and assisting them in clandestine meetings.

And finally, I want to see Amren give Elain's confidence a boost and push Rhys & Co. to let Elain spread her (magical) wings.

[bippot]

Damsel

Story Summary -> Vigilante notices a girl and her not-so-nice boyfriend arguing, and just as the hero is about to reprimand the bad boyfriend, she does something unexpected. When she finds him a week later, they come to learn that they mesh together quite well. Will that chemistry remain when she knows who's under the visor?

Tags -> Unhealthy Relationships, Break Up, Canon-Typical Violence, Secret Identity, Idiots in Love, First Meetings, Coffee Date

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It was rare that the damsels Vigilante saved stuck around for much of a conversation. He'd kill the guy harassing them, the criminal's blood would splat on their pretty faces, and they'd run away in terror from the very sight of him. He'd get the occasional quiet, "Thank you," or the very loud, "Why the fuck did you kill him? You fucking weirdo!" but nothing more than that. Yeah, it sucked. He was used to it, though.

Maybe it was the suit. Adrian thought he had an approachable face, and his mask was hiding that. It wasn't as if he could risk taking his mask off - that would be so stupid - because anyone other than the 11th Street Kids knowing his identity was out of the question.

Then he came across a couple having an argument one night. That wasn't out of the blue: couples have arguments every day. Yet, they don't always happen at 12pm in the dingy alleyway between a shitty bar and a tattoo shop that had awful reviews - apparently, their infection rate was almost 80%. How they were still in business, he'd never know - and although the alley tended to be a hive of delinquency, there didn't seem to be any dealings going down. This wasn't a good place to hang out. Vigilante patrolled in this area for a reason.

The girlfriend was far too beautiful to be in this part of town. She was dressed up nice, far too nice, and had pretty nails and make-up as if she'd tried really hard to look her best for this date. The man, on the other hand, looked as if he was still wearing his work clothes. Even from where he was hiding behind the dumpster, Adrian couldn't help but notice how defeated she seemed. If she'd been livelier, maybe he would've enjoyed watching the whole thing go down. He could've treated it like he was watching one of those trashy reality shows, but, y'know, it was actual reality.

The girl was tired. So tired that she didn't care enough to raise her voice. She wasn't hysterical. There were no tears. No passion. Just a sad smile and an even sorrier, "I can't do this any more."

"Do what, babe?" The boyfriend replied, taking a drag of his cigarette, only to blow the smoke directly in her face. She let out a long-suffering sigh, waved it away, and stepped out of his breathing range.

"It's our anniversary, Charlie."

He scoffed, "I know that. Why the fuck do you think I brought you here?"

"I didn't expect to go to a perfect, like, fancy spot, but we could've gone to a restaurant, or maybe somewhere where your shoes don't stick to the floor because of how gross it is," the girl said, rubbing circles into her temples with her fingers in order to ease the headache that was forming. 

Adrian had only been in a few short-term relationships during his life. They never lasted long enough to reach an anniversary. But he knew that this bar was a poor choice of venue. It was cheap, seedy, filled with lowlifes, and, well, it smelt. Really bad. Boy, if Adrian was in the guy's position and had the chance to celebrate with a beautiful girl, he would've taken her to the new pizza place that opened a few doors down from Fennel Fields. It wasn't fancy, but there were candles and comfy booths and lots of flowers, and the food tasted fantastic. Every time he passed it, Adrian thought, 'That would be a nice spot to go on a date,' and that thought was immediately followed by the deprecating, 'Like, I could get a date.'

"I like this bar," Charlie defended himself. He flicked his cigarette to the ground. "Stomp it out for me, Y/N?"

Y/N looked down at her nice new shoes. She'd bought them specifically for tonight, and yeah, they were expensive and probably a bit impractical, but she wanted to make an effort. She agreed reluctantly and squished the butt underneath her shoe, but that was it. Y/N had never been a person who cared too much about appearances, whether about herself or those around her, and she knew that her shoe could be cleaned. In this moment, in the here and now, Y/N felt as if it mattered more than anything.

"Can we go home?" she urged, her voice so small and fragile that Charlie barely heard her at first. 

"I thought you wanted to fucking enjoy yourself, honey," Charlie responded, his expression hardening. "Do you think I wanted to do this tonight? My buddies said they were going to the range tonight, but I'm here. With you."

"Okay, Charlie." She wiped a hand down her face, smudging her eyeliner a bit. "Next time your buddies ask you to go to the range, you should go with them."

"Cool, thanks," Charlie grinned wolfishly, flashing a row of perfectly straight teeth. He didn't understand why she was being so chill about this whole thing, but he wasn't going to pass up this opportunity. 

Her hands rubbed up and down her bare biceps in order to warm herself up a bit. "Yeah, it's not as if you'll have a girlfriend to hold you back from doing whatever you want from now on," she announced confidently. She was determined, despite her fear, because she knew that her life would be so much worse without Charlie in it. 

Life as a single woman would be filled with freedom. No more arguments or screaming matches. No more being disappointed when Charlie chose his friends, his job, the Knicks game, and everything over her.

"Babe, knock it off," Charlie warned her.

It was at this part that Adrian knew what kind of guy Charlie was because just as Y/N was about to put some distance between them, he swiped his hand out and clamped his hand around her wrist, yanking her harshly towards him. "Ow. Let go, Charlie." She tried struggling free, but he held her tighter, keeping her firmly in place.

In an instant, Vigilante was revealing himself to step in. There was no way this situation could get any worse, right? If Vigilante stepped in now, the boyfriend would run away, and she'd be free of him from this moment on. "The lady wants to leave," Vigilante interrupted in a way so cheesy that the couple stopped in place instantly and stared at him. 

The arrival of this new person didn't cause Charlie to loosen his grip; quite the contrary. Y/N let out a pained whimper, and she was sure she'd have a red splotch on her skin when this was all over. "I think you might be hurting her, dude," Vigilante pointed out, taking a step closer to the pair, making Charlie tense up in anticipation of a fight. "You gonna let go, or do I have to make you let go?"

Charlie glared at the masked hero. "Fuck off," he growled. "She's my girl, 'dude.' I can do whatever I want with her."

Before Vigilante could say anything else, a punch happened. Y/N reared back and used her free hand to pummelled her boyfriend - ex-boyfriend now - right on his nose. He recoiled with a howl of pain, then cradled his reddened nose, looking ready to attack again.

"What the hell was that for?!"

Adrian was in love. He'd always been a sucker for a woman who was prepared to literally fight for herself. It was badass! She was a badass! She was so incredibly brave, fighting for herself instead of giving in.

With a grunt, Charlie lunged for Y/N, but Vigilante wedged himself between them before he got the chance. "Woah, woah, dude, cool your shit!" He pushed the guy away and stood protectively in front of Y/N. Vigilante, ever so gently, pulled her behind him like he was her personal bodyguard.

"It's probably best if you leave now, bud," Vigilante said, glancing down at Charlie, "Cause if you lay a hand on her again, I will force you to eat your own fingers."

That seemed to scare Charlie off a bit, since he took a step back. He glared at Vigilante for a second, thinking over how many bones the maniac would break if he tried one more time to grab his girlfriend and pull her away, before he realised that was a terrible idea. He scowled and muttered something under his breath, then turned to Y/N with a sneer. "We are going to talk about this tomorrow, Y/N."

"I will drop your stuff off on your doorstep tomorrow, but that's it."

"But-"

Vigilante unclipped his gun from his belt and waved it at Charlie. "I'm gonna shoot you in the ass in 3...2...."

Without hesitation, Charlie bolted down the street. Once he rounded the corner, Vigilante giggled, "The safety is on, fuckin' idiot!" to himself and placed the gun back on his belt.

Y/N didn't move from where she was standing. She stayed frozen in her spot until, all of a sudden, her throat released a joyous cheer; her eyes were bright and shiny, and she jumped up and down. She couldn't contain her excitement.

"Thank you!"

"Me? You're the one who sucker-punched him! You were just like, POW!" He mimicked her punch, and even though she couldn't see his face, she could tell that he had a wide grin. "Ooh, that had to hurt!"

She laughed, feeling so, so giddy, and she wrapped her arms around his torso to give him a big hug, causing him to stumble slightly, but he caught his balance. He didn't know what to do. What do you do when a random pretty girl throws herself at you? In Adrian's case, just stand there awkwardly as she hugs you. It wasn't exactly an experience he was well versed in.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump on you like that," she apologised, her cheeks burning. She pulled away from him and stepped backward. 

"No, no, it's okay," he insisted, trying to sound as confident as possible. "It's fine. Don't worry about it." He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. "I uh... are you, y'know, good? Like, that was super cool and all, but does your fist hurt?"

"A little," she admitted, rubbing the knuckles of her right hand, which were beginning to swell. "It was kind of cool of me, wasn't it?"

"It was epic, Y/N!" He cheered. "Just super hot!"

Y/N laughed again, though this time it was far more flustered. She tried her hardest not to react in any way to his comment, but there was a prominent blush on her cheeks, which told a different story. And it only got worse when he continued to compliment her. 

"I mean, this dress is, like, perfect on you, and then you took a swing at him and..." He made a horny groan. "I gotta stop before I pop a boner."

He was expecting repulsion or disgust, but instead Y/N cackled. She had a great laugh. It was warm and bubbly, and she didn't seem to shy away from how lively it was.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that last part out loud," Adrian murmured as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh, I, uh, wanted to make sure you were okay. I saw him grab you and..." 

He glanced down at her wrist to find that a red mark was already forming, so Adrian gently reached for her hand and brushed his gloved thumb across the sensitive skin there. "This is going to bruise. You got any Arnica at home?" he asked, concern colouring his tone.

"Probably, yeah. I bet there's a tube somewhere in my apartment."

"It sucks. Everyone knows you don't bruise pretty girls." He tipped his head just a little bit as if he was thinking. "Unless they ask and you have spoken about boundaries and consent and degrees of impact play beforehand."

Honestly, Y/N didn't know how to respond. He'd said it so casually, almost as if he hadn't complimented her, then proceeded to talk about safe, rough sex like he was talking about the weather. He continued to stroke his thumb across the veins in the middle of her wrist, and while she appreciated the gesture, she also didn't think it was fair to Charlie to indulge in this other man literally five minutes after their argument.

"I should... I should go," Y/N muttered quietly after a moment. Vigilante nodded, reluctantly letting go of her. "Thank you, again. Thank you for cheering me up. I needed it."

"Anytime."

He smiled softly, his gaze dropping to the ground momentarily before meeting hers once again. He gave her a nod and watched as Y/N started walking away, trying her best to ignore the overwhelming desire to get to know the funny guy in the hot superhero suit. Just before she was out of sight, she turned back around to give him a little wave, which he returned without hesitation. He waved his arm from side to side rather than his hand like a child. It made her laugh once again, and that was entirely his objective.

"She was so hot, oh my god," Adrian mumbled to himself. "Focus on patrol, dude. Gotta get my mind off that fuckin' babe."

To shake away the thoughts, he literally shook his whole body. He twisted and turned and swung his arms around as if he was performing a weird dance routine. After a few moments, he stopped moving and just stood still to see if it had worked.

He bet Y/N would've found his little jiggle funny.

"Shit."

Nope. The thought of her was still firmly planted in his mind. She was stuck there, and a part of him never wanted her to leave. It certainly didn't help that he came across her in the exact same alley a week later. She wasn't in date attire this time, just a nice t-shirt and skirt, but still was a knockout.

Clearly, two drunk guys also thought so too, as she was politely trying to decline their advances despite their persistent attempts to convince her to go on a date. They both seemed oblivious to her disinterest in their proposition and kept pressing her further, making her increasingly uncomfortable. "Come on, baby, let me show you a good time!" The first one cooed, reaching out to touch her cheek. She flinched away and attempted to move out of his reach. "Aw, c'mon, why you gotta be such a prude?!"

As Y/N went to reply, she noticed a familiar red visor walking up behind the two men. Vigilante was the reason why she was here. She'd intended to thank him for giving her the confidence to officially break up with her douchebag boyfriend and offer to buy him the most expensive cocktail that the bar sold. But as they often do, a man - or in this case, two men - had to go and try to ruin a woman's night.

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"There we go, sweetheart, there's that smile you were missing," the other of the pair purred.

"Look behind you," she whispered with glee.

The two of them whipped their heads around, only to immediately lose all semblance of coherent thought when they caught sight of Vigilante. Their eyes bugged out, and they began stumbling backward, trying desperately to get away from the hero. 

"Heeeeeey, Vigilante, we were just talkin' to our girl and-"

"Oh, you were just talking?"

"Uh, yep."

Vigilante narrowed his eyes. The two guys looked scared shitless now and even though the red visor obscured his dark expression, his gaze, plus his posture and body language, gave him a dangerous aura. He slowly walked closer to them, and they scrambled to try to run away. The playfulness of his usual demeanour returned for a moment to ask Y/N, "Want me to beat them up?"

"Honestly, yeah. They're dicks."

"Fuckin' sick."

In an instant, Vigilante took the lid off the nearest bin and chucked it at the legs of the fleeing men, sending them sprawling onto the concrete floor with a cry of pain. Vigilante didn't waste a second before stalking towards them and focusing on the one who'd creepily stroked Y/N's face - who he called Creep #1 in his head - and kicking him in the stomach so the guy let out a whimper.

Creep #2 attempted to crawl away, but he didn't get very far. Vigilante grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him off the ground. The man stared up at him with fear in his eyes and started spouting gibberish, begging for forgiveness. Vigilante ignored him and lifted him right off the ground before slamming him against the wall. "Personally, I think you should apologise to the pretty lady. What do you think, Y/N? Do you want an apology?"

"I'd love an apology."

"You heard the lady," Vigilante urged, "Apologise."

Pathetically, the guy babbled out a few words, none of them understandable, before finally settling on the fact that he was sorry. With that being said, he started sobbing like an infant, begging for mercy and for someone else to save him. The sound of his pleas did nothing to deter Vigilante, however, and he simply dragged Creep #1 beside his buddy and held a gun to his head. "Your turn," Adrian hissed menacingly, pointing the barrel into Creep #1's temple.

Thanks to their previous meeting, Y/N knew that he hadn't clicked the safety off and knew that he was just threatening them like he'd done to her ex-boyfriend. She could indulge in the power of having Vigilante as a guard dog without having to worry that he was actually going to blow their brains out. Well, he could. With one little click, he could make this situation very messy. 

Maybe it would be best if she cut this short in order to prevent that from happening.

"If you promise to leave women who you don't know alone, I'll let you run away now," Y/N offered, and they were nodding frantically. 

They didn't need to be told twice and rushed to mumble out apologies before running away and disappearing down the opposite end of the alley.

"Fancy seeing you here, Y/N."

"I was looking for you."

This was unheard of. Nobody ever sought him out. Usually, it was the other way around.

"You were looking for me? Like, really?"

"Really."

He swung his arms back and forth like a child who couldn't sit still as the excitement bubbled up inside him. The possibility that she'd had one thought - even one that was fleeting and negative - about him was huge news. Their time together, no matter how short it had been, had left an imprint on her brain.

"I just wanted to, um, buy you a beer or cocktail or a smoothie or a coffee. Whatever you want, actually."

"What about a hot chocolate?"

"Yeah, I'll get you a hot chocolate. I don't know if there's a coffee shop open at this time, but we can look."

So, the search began. She began to walk out of the alley in search of a cafe, and he hurried after her, trying not to make a fool of himself by tripping over his own because he couldn't stop staring at her ass. Did he stumble after every other step? Yes, yes he did. Adrian caught up with her eventually. She'd been talking to him about something, probably guesstimating how far they'd have to walk, and thanks to the mask, she had no idea that his brain was switching between 'wow, she has a great ass' and 'stop being a fucking pervert.'.

Soon, a glowing Starbucks logo could be seen in the glowing distance, and, luckily, it was in the safer part of town that she'd parked in. Y/N guided him towards her vehicle.

"Why are you buying me hot chocolate?"

Y/N nonchalantly shrugged and kept her eyes on the street ahead of her. "To say thanks for saving me from an awful relationship... and just then, I guess, so double thanks."

"Oh." He was so relieved that she couldn't see the dopey expression on his face or the pink across his cheeks and nose. "Double you're welcome, then."

The pair decided that it would be best if they used the drive-through. The wanted serial murderer Vigilante couldn't walk into a Starbucks without someone calling the cops on him. That wouldn't have gone down well at all. Besides, it was nice for them to continue their alone time.

While Y/N ordered and interacted with the bored teen at the drive-through window, Vigilante ducked down into the footwell in the hopes he couldn't be seen. "Who's that guy?" The college kid at the window asked as they pointed towards the lump of Kevlar in the passenger's seat. 

Furrowing her brows as if she was confused by the question, Y/N smirked, "What guy?" and drove away before any further investigation could be conducted, leaving the poor kid to wonder whether he was seeing things.

They parked up in a nearby lot and just sat there, talking, both taking sips of their hot chocolates as they spoke. It was a bit weird to watch an adult man push a straw up his superhero mask in order to consume a whipped cream-topped drink, but Y/N had to admit that he was quite cute while doing so. And even when their drinks had completely depleted, they continued talking. Adrian had completely forgotten that he was supposed to be on patrol, but as much as he tried, he was unable to focus properly on anything else when Y/N was sitting next to him with that beautiful smile of hers.

"How does your mask work?" Y/N enquired, and there was a hint of something in her voice that Adrian couldn't quite place in the moment, but he would come to understand in a minute or two.

"It's a pull-on."

"Yeah?" She leaned across the gearstick, her fingers drifting from the centre of his chest up to the hemline of his mask. She hesitated a moment before her forefinger delved underneath the fabric. "Is it a full-on/full-off kind of thing? Or can you, y'know, roll it up to here?"

With her other hand, she poked at the area between the top of his lip and nose.

"It can roll," Adrian said in almost a whisper. His heart was beating hard and fast. 

Why wasn't he doing anything? She was one tug away from revealing his identity, and he just sat there, completely frozen. He watched as she lifted the bottom of his mask and rolled it up enough to reveal his mouth, which was parted slightly in surprise. Did he have any idea what she was doing and why he was letting her do this? No, not a clue. Did he just accept whatever it was she'd planned, assuming that would respect his boundaries despite the fact that they didn't really know each other?

Luckily, what she wanted to do was exactly the same as what he wanted to do.

"Vigilante?"

"Hmmm...?"

He'd often been told that he was dumb, but right here in this moment, he was so glad that there was nothing in his brain. He couldn't form a coherent sentence, so he didn't even try. He willingly let her tilt his chin and didn't even try to hide the way his breath hitched because of that.

"I don't have a boyfriend anymore. I'm completely single and want to thank you for saving me. So...?"

"Oh!"

Now, he understood. His lips were on hers immediately, and he kissed her with everything he had in him. His hands moved to cup her cheeks, fingers ghosting along the contour of her face until they met her hair and tangled themselves in her strands, holding her to him like a lifeline.

"You taste like hot chocolate," he mumbled against her mouth as he pulled away, causing her smile to stretch wider than she thought possible.

"So do you."

She smiled coyly, her voice barely above a murmur, before she leaned back in again. They kissed again. And again. Each time growing more heated than the last.

"C'mere," he whined as he moved his arm around her hips, gently tugging her across the console and onto his lap. She brought her legs up on either side of him, allowing herself to press against his chest and her hands gripping onto the fabric of his suit.

With every passing second and each smack of their lips, the desire that was beginning to build up in Adrian grew stronger. His suit was great for battle, but thanks to his mask and gloves, his touch sensitivity was severely lacking, so he broke apart for as long as it took to bite his gloves off. As soon as they were removed, he couldn't stop the way his palms had drifted from where they started just above her knee up to her thigh, the edge of her skirt brushing against his bare hand, and up and up and up until he had a handful of her ass.

"Fuck," Adrian muttered as he felt her panties under his thumb. He couldn't think of a better word to describe the sensation. It was overwhelming. Exhilarating. And so, so sexy. 

It was 'Fuck.' 

"Fuck," she echoed. The word was breathless, a little husky, and filled with longing and need. She had to pull away. Her breath was heavy, her chest rising and falling in excitement as they looked at each other with lustful eyes. "Do you wanna, - I can't believe I'm going to ask this like we're horny teenagers - wanna get in the backseat?"

Vigilante stared at her for what seemed to be forever as he processed what she'd said. A smirk found its way onto his lips, making his dimples appear. "You mean, like, fuckin'? Right?" he felt the need to confirm, just to make sure. 

He'd read situations like this wrong before, and he didn't want to fuck this up. She nodded and laughed a short, breathy laugh, and suddenly, he was laughing too.

"Awesome, I'd be honoured to fuck you."

Though her car wasn't the biggest, she was climbing past the gap between the front seats. For a few brief seconds, her ass was directly beside his head, and, yeah, Adrian wasn't going to pass up a chance to spank her. "Hey!" She exclaimed, though there wasn't a hint of anger in her tone or annoyance on her features. 

Instead, Y/N sat in the backseat and beckoned Vigilante to follow her with a seductive finger curl. Obviously, he complied and was crawling his way into the back of the vehicle for some debauchery. The car got all steamed up from all their heavy breathing and general sweatiness combined. It wasn't the most comfortable they'd ever been, to say the least, but they were still incredibly satisfied when all was said and done.

Y/N flopped her forehead onto Vig's shoulder pad as she caught her breath, her heart rate slowly coming back down to normal after their physical activity.

"I really liked fucking you," he said bluntly, "Like, seriously, that was amazing. Fuckin' fantastic."

"I really liked being fucked by you."

She did an extremely unattractive snort, but that didn't deter him from tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and cupping her cheek. Their faces were inches apart, and he could see all of her freckles and each little detail of her facial features. He wanted to memorise every single one of them, no matter how fleeting these moments might turn out to be.

Vigilante placed a soft, gentle kiss on the side of her head and put a hand behind her neck to massage it gently, making her sigh blissfully and relax more into his embrace. "We should go soon. I think this parking lot closes at 12," he commented. Y/N looked up at the visor still covering his gaze, her eyes going all doe-ish, and hummed in agreement. 

Yeah, she wanted to stay in this moment for as long as she was allowed to, but she'd definitely be fined, and her car would be stuck in the lot until the morning. 

"I have an apartment," she added.

"Oh, cool. So do I."

"Let me rephrase that. I have an apartment with a big, comfy bed that I wouldn't mind - " Y/N paused to brush her thumb along his bottom lip. " - sharing with you."

"...Wha? Are you being for real? Am I dreaming?" 

This was going so well that there was a high probability that it was a fantasy. Maybe if Adrian closed his eyes hard enough, he'd wake up to find himself lying in bed at home with a wet patch on the sheets. But they proceeded to repeat the debauchery as soon as they stepped within the threshold of her apartment, and then they repeated it again and again. And again the next day. And the day after that too. And quickly, a routine began.

Every night, Vigilante would: 1) carry out his patrol, 2) make his way to her apartment, and 3) then tug the bottom half of his mask up as he knocked on her front door. He would be bringing her into a snog the second she was revealed to him.

They didn't always fuck - though it was more often than not - but often found themselves chatting away instead, laughing or telling stories, and sometimes even just kissing. It was as if they were a couple, except for the fact she had no idea who he was.

But she would. Life has a way of making things happen, no matter how unexpected or unwanted the thing may have been. Was it Y/N's choice to go to Fennel Fields for a family dinner? No, that was her father's fault. He'd heard that the mozzarella sticks were pretty tasty, and that was enough to sway her ol' pa.

Throughout the dinner, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. She had no idea whether it was malicious voyeurism or maybe she just had something in her teeth. Either way, she could feel eyes burning a hole through her skull. She glanced around for a clue of what was going on or who it might be, but there was no sign of anything amiss.

"You okay, honey?" Y/N's mother whispered, noticing how distracted she had been. It wasn't that unusual for Y/N to zone out during family dinners, especially when her brother's stories got super boring, which they often did. 

"Hmmm...? Yes, yeah, I'm okay." Her eyes scanned the restaurant once more. Still nothing. "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

On her way to the ladies, Y/N noticed a certain busboy with serial killer specs that seemed somewhat familiar to her. A customer asked him a question, and he tilted his head to the side and looked upwards as if he was searching his brain for what to say. Weird. Vigilante did that too. 

It had been hard to notice at first. The visor hid most of his facial mannerisms, but she always had a particular fondness for his eyes. Honestly, it may have been a coincidence. People are allowed to share mannerisms. A lot of people talk with their hands, but that simple commonality doesn't mean the individuals are alike in any way. 

So, she let it slide and went to the bathroom just as she said she would.

It was unfortunate for Adrian that the layout of the restaurant meant that to get to the kitchen, you'd have to pass by the entrance to the bathrooms. He'd been attempting to avoid Y/N as soon as he saw her arrive. That became impossible to do as the pair bumped into each other when he walked directly in front of the bathroom door as she was exiting it.

If he didn't have super quick reflexes, they both would have been wiped out. He managed to regain his footing and grabbed hold of her elbows to steady her and stopped Y/N from tumbling backward. His eyes widened as soon as he realised who was before him, and he quickly let go of her arms as soon as he registered who she was.

"Oh, shit! I'm so sorry. Did I-"

Same mannerisms, same voice, and now that he was up close, she could see that the bottom half of his face was similar to. She hovered her palm over the top portion of his face, and yeah, things made sense now. This random busboy was Vigilante. There was no way she could've mistaken him. 

She cooed, "Hey, baby."

Every single particle of Adrian's being wanted to soften, but he kept his mouth in a frown. Sure, the corners of his lips kept twitching upwards, but he was trying.

"D-do, do I k-know you?" He stammered, though he was very unconvincing. 

The cat was out of the bag, and there wasn't any way it could be stuffed back in. Not when she titled his name badge so she could read what it said.

"I'll see you later, Adrian. Leave this uniform on for me. There's no need to dress up, okay?"

With those words, she gave him a peck on the cheek and returned to her family dinner without giving him the chance to protest. Adrian stared after her for what felt like hours before his manager yelled at him to get back to work.

Working after that was hard. His mind was elsewhere. It was running through all the scenarios that could go wrong because of this interaction. All of them ended terribly. And all of them ensured that his work performance had plummeted dramatically. So dramatically, in fact, that his boss thought he'd come down with some fast-acting disease and sent him home early.

Adrian was at Y/N's apartment half an hour before she got home. He'd debated with himself about picking her lock multiple times but ultimately decided against it since he was dressed as himself and one of her neighbours had greeted him as they passed.

"Fancy seeing you here, Vig." She whispered his name teasingly and smiled at him as she opened the door for him.

"Uh... hi," he murmured, unsure of what else he should say. He cleared his throat and tried for a nonchalant, "...Can I come in?"

"You usually just walk in these days," she responded, closing the door behind him and crossing her arms across her chest.

"Well... um..." He scratched the back of his head nervously, shifting his weight from foot to foot, "I wanted to see you. And, uh, for you to... see me. I totally understand if you're not into it now that the mystery is gone, but-"

He was cut off as Y/N pulled him closer by his collar, placing her hands on either side of his face and pressing her lips against his own. Adrian's eyes closed as he reciprocated the kiss, slowly leaning his body closer and closer towards hers.

"I imagined what you looked like so many times."

"I'm sorry. You probably were expecting -"

Once again, he was interrupted by Y/N snogging the hell out of him. "You're better than what I expected, so pretty," she breathed between kisses. Adrian ran his fingers through her hair and held her firmly against him. Their tongues entwined together, sending sparks of electricity throughout their bodies.

It took 0.0000002 seconds for him to come to a decision on how to proceed. His shirt was whipped off and thrown somewhere else before his lips pressed against hers and pinned her to the nearest wall.

"Promise to keep my secret?"

"What secret?"

"...The Vigilante thing."

"Yeah, I know. I was doing the... forget it. I promise not to tell anyone about your alter ego, Vee."

Y/N giggled when she felt Adrian's nose gently bump hers. Gently, she took his hand and led him towards her bedroom. She'd done that so many times before, yet this was the first instance where she got to witness the lovesick look on his face.

From here on out, she would continue to see that look since it had never left his face when she was around. And if he happened to have his visor on, she knew what was hidden underneath and how dopey of a smile he'd have.

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[voxslays]

PRESENT SHOPPING Warning: Adam may be a little lot OOC in this one ┈➤ˎˊ˗

It was Christmas time. The most magical time of year. You and Adam absolutely adored the holiday season—having met many years prior during a holiday event the seraphims were holding—so why was he acting like such a grinch? It was strange. Adam was so excited to celebrate the holidays, but now it seemed he had forgotten all about that. He just seemed…sad? You were going to change things though. After his exorcist meeting, you were going to drag him out to do some Christmas shopping, and there was absolutely no way he was getting out of this one.

He plops down on the couch next to you, his presence more cold than usual. He looks at the Christmas tree that you had decorated with such enthusiasm, his expression blank. As you suggest going out for Christmas shopping, he hesitates before grumbling, "Do we have to?" He sighs. “Yes!” You exclaim. Adam runs a hand through his messy brown hair, looking tired and resigned "Babe, I'm really not in the mood for crowds right now. Can't we just...not this year?" his voice carries a hint of sadness, and he avoids meeting your gaze.

“C’mon…maybe it’ll help you feel better…?” He sighs heavily, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "Fine, let's just get it over with." He stands up, stretching his arms above his head before reaching for his coat. "But if I have to deal with one more annoying elf or obnoxious caroler, I swear to fuck..." The two of you put on your coats and walk over to the heavenly mall, a giant two story white mall filled with intricate gold sculptures worthy of being in the most exquisite museums.

You and Adam start in the candy stores, looking at the delicious holiday treats such as mint chocolate chip cookies and candy canes, before heading into the toy store. You look around for a bit before finding a cute blue koala stuffy with a bright baby blue halo. “Adam look!” you point at the koala. He pauses, seemingly caught off guard by your excitement. For a moment, his cold demeanor cracks, and he actually smiles. It's not much, but it's something. "That's...actually pretty cute." He steps closer, examining the koala. "It reminds me of...before."

“In Eden?” You ask softly. Adam’s expression sours slightly, remembering the happier times in the Garden before everything fell apart. He picks up the koala, turning it over in his hands. "Yeah, the animals there were always so...innocent. Like this little guy." You smile sweetly. “Anyways…I was thinking for Emily.” Adam looks at the koala again, then back at you, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Emily? You think she'd like it?" He asks, his tone a bit softer than before.

“Of course! She loves anything cute!” He chuckles softly, shaking his head as he sets the koala back down. "You're right, she would. I'll get it for her." He says, reaching for his wallet. “I love you. Thank you for coming with me.” For a brief moment, his cocky facade completely drops. His eyes soften as he looks at you, and he gently takes your hand. "I...” Adam hesitates. You know it’s been a long time before anyone has said that to him. “I love you too.”

[marilynthornhilllover]

Hi beautiful human

I would love to request Agatha Harkness using a magic strap with reader and reader whispers  to Aggs “Shit, right there, please!!” and Agatha can’t control herself

A poisonous butterfly

Agatha harkness x Fem!reader

Warning: smut!, talk of public sex, mommy kink, praise kink, tummy bulge, magic strap, slight overstiumlation, rough sex, clitoral play, pet names, soft to mean Agatha, slight fluff, cunniligus, breast play, indecent language, slight aftercare etc.

A/n: I am so sorry this fic took 1,000 years to be written 😭🤍 hope you enjoy tho😉

It was you and Agatha's one year wedding anniversary and you thought that there was no better way to celebrate it than with your parents who you haven't seen in a very long time. You both had planned a small night out at an open back beach restaurant with a beautiful paddock with a breathtaking sea view and amazing food.

You dressed in a short skin tight red dress with and open back with your favorite pair of heels that Agatha had gotten you for your birthday the year before. She wore her normal attire — black suit with high heels. Her hair was blown out and she styled it in a quite clean messy bun that made her look so damn sexy.

You couldn't deny that it turned you on, especially with her glasses. She looked delicious. You stared at her through the mirror as she carefully put on her jewelry and checked herself out. You just couldn't stop staring, maybe you wanted her for dinner instead. You bit your lips and tried to limit your freaky thoughts before you chew off more than you can swallow and end up being late for dinner.

Agatha was not the kind to rush things nor did she like to be interrupted. She was the sweetest and kindest person you ever met. That's why you married her. She took her time with you, she treated you well, she never yelled at you, she made sure you got what you wanted — even if it meant being a passenger princess.

You loved her for a lot more than that. Man can she give the best head. She makes you feel things that you honestly thought were impossible to feel. Everytime you both made love, especially with her magic strap she'd always be so careful and so polite. Asking if you were ok or if you wanted her to stop, to the point where she even created a safe word with you.

You loved Agatha very much and cared for her with every bone in you. And your parents completely supported you, it was only your dad that had doubts wherein if she could treat you the way a man would — fuck you the way a man would. You paid no attention to him because you knew Agatha well, especially the one who makes your eyes roll to the point where you see stars.

" you like what you see darling?" She asked in a seductive voice as she winked at you through the mirror. You could smell the trouble from far away and that smirk on her face was making you even wetter that you already were.

" Oh behave, we need to leave now or we'll be late" you said picking up your purse and phone. Agatha turned around and walked up to you from behind, wrapping her arms around your waist she placed her face in the crook of your neck.

" I'll tell them I was busy trying to put a baby in you" she husked, her voice raspy and thick sending a cold shiver down your spine. Agatha chuckled as she released you and continued her finishing touches of getting ready. You cleared your throat and left the room feeling rather hot and steamy. You waited in the car until she was finished then you both hit the road.

She played her favorite Playlist that included a few lana del rey songs — how iconic of her. God she was the hottest thing alive, you craved her like a drug. Your mind drifted to a few potential things that could happen after the dinner, perhaps soft sex or rough. You flashed back on the times she'd fuck you senseless, the way she'd make you scream her name, her skilled fingers in you that never failed to make you cum.

Your pretty certain that she even still has a few scratch scars on her back from time and time before. You bit your nails and squeezed your thighs. You sighed and forced yourself to snap out of your nasty fantasy world before your parents think otherwise when you arrive all sweaty and nervous.

Agatha parked and you both got out and entered the restaurant, the sea air immediately making you feel more calm and the smell it's salty depths makes you feel so much more relaxed and afresh. Your parents waved you both over with warm smiles and you all hugged and greeted eachother before taking your seats.

Your mom was very keen to see you while your dad on the other hand looked at you miserably, eyeing Agatha then you. Your eyebrows quirked at him and he shrugged his shoulders. You immediately pretend to look at the menu when Agatha looks up, not wanting her to assume something was wrong when it wasn't. Your dad was supportive of you and agatha's relationship but again of course, she wasn't a man, and in his world will never pleasure you like one.

And maybe her wearing a suit tonight made him more pissed off. You all ordered your foods and had a bit of a chat while you waited for it to arrive, catching up on old stuff.

" Agatha mind I say you look absolutely spectacular tonight, no wonder y/n has a thing for you" your mom says, throwing a wink your way, Agatha laughs and you gently caress her hand blushing your cheeks away.

" we're wearing the same thing...." your dad grumbles sarcastically, and everyone turns to look his way. You could see Agatha look down rolling her eyes and scoffing and your mom hitting your dad's thigh under the lady as she widens her eyes in a warning way. There was an uncomfortable wave of silence and the tension only became thicker as time went on. You cleared your throat and your mom speaks up again.

" so my dear how's your sex life?" This time it's your eyes that widen and Agatha looks as if she's about to lose it slowly. Your dad chuckles and looks towards you.

" What's with the face y/n? She has a right to ask, her daughters married to a woman" your mom quickly turns to your dad and hits his chest.

" will you stop!" She whispered under her breath through gritted teeth. You swallow nervously and Agatha just sips on her water. The food arrives and everyone stays silent and just eats, but you absolutely lost your appetite. You notice your dad looking at two couple across the room as the secretly made their way into the bathroom.

You sighed and looked away.

" see y/n, a man, gone to make his woman feel good" before he can properly finish his sentence Agatha slams her hand down on the table causing it to make the plates move with a loud noise. Your mom kept her head bowed and your dad looked flabbergasted. Some of the waiters had stopped walking and had turned to look at the commotion and as did the rest of the restaurant.

Agatha looks around at everyone and then down at you. You can see her eyes soften a little by looking at you before her gaze returned to your dad. If looks could kill he'd be dead because she was staring daggers at him. She didn't wanna cause a scene so she quietly addressed the matter as she began to stand anf collect her things.

" you know what asshole we'll take our leave" she spat harshly, you quickly grabbed your belongings and gave your mom and sorrowful look but she only gave you a small smile, you can tell she was disappointed and disgusted by your father's act. Not giving your dad the privilege one last look you left with Agatha. On the walk out Agatha's grip on your hips was absolutely feral.

You could feel the anger radiating off her but you remained silent. You'd be lying if you said that she didn't look even more fucking hot when annoyed. Arriving home, you both got out of the car and walked towards the front door, still in silence. You couldn't quite read her emotions. When she opened the door she allowed you to enter before her.

You put down your bag and took off your coat and was about to turn around to speak to Agatha when she suddenly slammed you up against the wall and started attacking your lips. You were surprised and caught off guard but you kissed her back. You moaned as you felt her hands roam down your body. She smirked against your lips and took the opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.

Her tongue swirled and danced against yours as you whimpered desperately for her to touch you more. You pulled away from her,breaking the kiss and looked up at her biting your lips. You could see how much she wanted you, needed you . Her eyes were filled with desire and lust to please you and you wanted her so bad as well.

" let's go to the bedroom" you said breathlessly as the both of you practically race up the stairs and into your shared bedroom. Agatha straddled your hip as she pushed you down onto the bed and began kissing your neck, sucking and gently biting at the tender at the flesh. Your hands flew to her hair as your hips buck up towards her.

Your eyes widen as you felt something bulky in her pants, she looked up at you and smirked before she made her way down towards your stomach leaving her trails of kisses. You didn't even realize that she was wearing her strap tonight, god that just made you more wet as your thighs began to rub together.

A low chuckle can be heard from Agatha as she grabbed the hem of your dress and pushes it up for you to take it off. After you took off your dress you were left in just your lace underwear.

" please" you moaned, but she only smirked at you, making her way back up she kissed your lips again.

" shhh, my love, tonight I'm gonna fuck you like a man" she whispered against your lips, at this point your cunt was already soaked for her. She glanced down at your nipple and back up at you. She took your small bud into her mouth and started sucking it like a baby. Your breath hitched as a soft whimper escaped your mouth. Agatha swirled her tongue around the soft bud before releasing it with a small pop.

Her hand reached down and cupped your cunt as a low chuckle is echoed from her chest.

" I made you this wet baby? Or are you just a slut for mommy?" She taunt, she was driving you completely mad already, you could feel yourself becoming completely under her demand as your mind went blank and fuzzy. You wanted her so badly. She started undressing looking down at you with a smile on her face. She found you rather attractive when you were in desperate need for her.

After taking off her pants and leaving her self completely naked you saw how big her strap was, it wasn't the normal one she'd fuck you with it was the magic one that made you feel things deep within yourself. The one that felt so realistic. She gently parted your thighs and immediately saw how wet you were for her. She glanced back up at you.

Smirking at your needy state, the heaving of your chest, your messy hair and the way your body shook with need. She grabbed your hips and pulled you down so that she can be face to face with your cunt before her tongue started to lap at your clit. You sighed closing your eyes your hands wondered cover your chest massaging your nipples.

Agatha was very skilled with her tongue. She made you question whether or not she was human. Her tongue swiped over your little bud before it started to circle around it slowly before graciously picking up speed. Your moans increased in volume as your hands flew to her hair. Your thighs closed in on her head as she looked up at you, her eyes hungry to make you scream. You could feel your orgasm slowly building up as your back arched.

" oh fuck me! Please Agatha I need you so bad" you moaned as your thighs shook violently. Agatha laughed darkly which sent vibrations straight through you. She finally obeyed and removed her mouth from your clit. She lined up the tip of her strap with your entrance. She leaned down to kiss you as her hips slowly pushed into you.

Your head fell back as your nails dip into the skin of her elbow causing her to hiss, pushing even deeper further into your pussy. Your eyes rolled back as a soft moan escaped your lips. Her filling you up felt so good. Her cock was reaching into the deepest part of you and you couldn't handle it.

" fuck mommy" you whined as you started thrusting your hips into her to feel some sort of friction.

" you want my cock that bad huh? Want mommy to fuck you real nice mhm?" you nodded as you closed your eyes and moaned. Agatha's hands wonder to your hair and gently start massaging your scalp, quickening her pace as her thrusts became more faster reaching even deeper within you. She pulls on your hair making you whimper. she reaches down and starts rubbing slow circles on your clit, stimulating you even further.

Your back arches even deeper and your eyes roll back. Pornographic moans leave you as your mouth opens in a 'o' shape. The way she was fucking your pussy was absolutely delicious. Her cock was hitting your sweet spot that always had you seeing stars.

"There you go sweetie, say you love when mommy fucks you" she whispered in a demanding tone as she kept rutting into you, the strap making the sensation feel all too real. You couldn't even speak, you just whispered incorhent sentences and the word 'shit' over and over again.

Your pussy clenched down on her cock as you let out a pornographic moan ,your hands gripped the sheets tightly the feeling of her pounding your pussy so fucking good.

" that's it baby, Keep squeezing mommy's cock ,like the whore you are" she muttered in your ear. Your mind went completely blank as silence filled the room and the only thing that can be heard are your soft moans and the sound of agatha's cock sliding in and out of your pussy.

Agatha looks down and smiled at the little tummy bulge that she was creating from fucking you and smirked rutting even deeper into that spongy spot within you.

" shit, right there please!" You cried out, holding onto the sheet tighter your knuckles turning white from all the pulling, it's a surprise the sheets didn't tear. You turned on a switch in Agatha because after than she immediately started pounding you faster and curving her hips more so that her thrust would be more sharper and hit that deeper spot in you.

This caused your back to arch more as she got deeper access to hit your g-spot with more force, causing you to cream all over her dick.

You squirmed against her as your legs began to feel like jelly as they started to shake, your mind was completely empty. The only thing you could think of was how fucking good Agatha was making you feel with her cock.

Your oragsm totally hit you like a wrecking ball. Agatha smiled as she watch how your juices pour out all over her strap. She chuckled before slowing her thrust still keeping you stimulated. Her hips came to a halt and she removed her cock from within you. You sighed a breath of relief. Agatha leaned down and kissed you on the forehead.

" now my pretty princess, may I offer you a warm bath with snacks?" She asked and you laughed swatting her playfully on the arm.

" Yes you may my prince" you replied giggling as she picked you up and carried you into the bathroom.

The two of you cleaned up and took a nice warm bath before you decided to cuddle up in bed and watch a movie. And not too long after the both of you fell asleep in eachother's embrace, you definitely enjoyed tonight, and maybe one day you would see this side of your wife again.

[vees-scribbles]

Celebrating a Birthday With Them

It was my birthday yesterday I'm treating myself

Content Warning: Bo's gets horny idk what came over me but it's not like super explicit, Canon typical murder and substance use

Luigi Largo

He's a busy man okay

He might need a GENtern to remind him of your birthday but TRUST

There's someone who's entire job is remembering shit about you

He's probably working on your birthday

But he loves you so he's not entirely ignoring it

Almost definitely doing something special for dinner

Probably taking you somewhere fancy

Don't like the attention of going out with a Largo? Fine, you're having your fancy dinner at home and if it isn't perfect the person who made it will meet Luigi's knife and then whatever god they might believe in

Contrary to popular opinion, I think he's a good gift giver

This man cannot say that he loves you. But he's constantly buying you shit to show you

Definitely getting you something expensive but pretty in line with the things you like

Always your favorite color or the latest fashion or an unreleased prototype

Not very creative, he's picking tried and true things

Kiss him and say thank you

Amber Sweet

She did forget your birthday

Sorry she was probably high

Good thing she's rich and can get you something last minute when she remembers

Gets you something she'd like

Bonus points if it's also something she knows you'd probably enjoy, but not her first priority

Clothes? She wanted to see you in them. Perfume or cologne? She wanted to smell you wearing it

If it's something she can borrow, she will

Sorry not sorry

Probably not hanging out with you after

Unless you're down to go on a Zydrate run w her

Who said romance was dead

Probably doesn't care if you say thank you

I'd suggest doing it anyway

Blind Mag

Prepare to be spoiled

She did remember your birthday and she's been thinking about this for at least a month

Obviously she can't really control what GeneCo wants her to do

But every second she's free is devoted to you

Super good at thinking of things you'll like

Like you don't have to tell her or even know that you'd like this thing she'd just think of it on her own

Obviously down to do whatever you want and probably plans an evening for you that's pretty accurate to something you'd enjoy

But I think she'd especially like celebrating at home

Kiss her and say thank you

Nathan Wallace

Surprisingly a pretty thoughtful gift giver

Did remember your birthday

Probably celebrated a few days late

The repo man grind never stops

But his next night off trust he's got you

Figures out what food you like and definitely is making it for you

If you've been together a while and he's introduced you to Shilo it's a family dinner

Shilo does most of the talking, presents you with a bug she pinned

Be nice

Nathan himself probably gets you something sensible

Think a watch

But he's pretty certain it's something you'll like, too

He wants you to get plenty of use out of it

Very low-key kind of thing, you're probably not going out or anything

Kiss him and say thank you

Otis Driftwood

Oh BROTHER

No he didn't remember

Don't ever ask him some stupid shit like that again

Someone else probably told him

Bc I know you're not stupid enough to bring it up

Does not care

Cares a little

Maybe makes you something

You're lucky to get anything at all

And maybe he's a little bit sweet when he kisses you. Just a little though

And don't you dare mention it

Kiss him and say thank you

And you better be REAL grateful, rabbit

Baby Firefly

Remembered for sure

Very excited to party about it!!

Probably snags something off a victim for you tbh

Hope you're cool with getting fucked up

And doing fucked up shit

Seriously though you're not staying sober

It's a household affair she's making this everyone's problem

And she's dragging you on some wild mission or another

Maybe you get to pick a tourist all your own!!

How romantic <3

Feel free to kiss her and say thank you, neither of you will remember in the morning

RJ Firefly

Remembered of course

Similar to Baby, he gets you something off someone they killed

NOT similar to Baby, he's very chill about it

Definitely down to still drink about it

But doesn't need to make it a huge affair

Would prefer not to, actually

I have no basis for this, but I think he'd wanna spend it outside with you

Looking at the stars and sharing a case of beer

Or your preferred drink

Doesn't have to be alcoholic but come on it's preferred

I think he's handsy when he's got enough in his system

He's always handsy, but especially when he's a little buzzed

Down to be quiet with you or let you talk his ear off about whatever you want

Kiss him and say thank you

Quinn

You're wondering if the android remembered your birthday?

Yes

He doesn't care

You get a verbal happy birthday, a head pat, and a kiss to the cheek

He has shit to do

Also idc if you're taller than him he's patting your head

The world could be so beautiful if Quinn responded to my faxes

Kiss him anyway bc he's beautiful

Logan Burnhardt

Yes, of course he remembered

He might act like an asshole on the air but he doesn't strike me as someone tonactually forget a birthday

He's doing pretty basic birthday things

Flowers in the morning, breakfast if you're up at the same time

If not, don't worry!

He's taking you out to dinner

Gets you a card and writes something a little cheesy on it

Gets you something related to a hobby you have, probably

Has at least once pretended that your gift was just a bunch of his own merch

Bo Sinclair

He remembered...barely

Yes he's a deranged killer and a jackass

He's also a southern gentleman (in his own eyes, anyway)

Comes home practically glowing with pride

Ate two canaries, that one

Another guy that regifts something from a victim

Presents it to you with so much pride, though

If it's jewelry or something, he makes you wear it for him

Puts it on for you

"Gimme a spin, sugar."

Stupid fucking smirk on his face

Makes you wear it while he rails you later Who said that

But come on you know that's his actual gift

I haven't publicly said this before but I'm saying it now: Bo Sinclair gives head like his life depends on it

And that's when it's NOT your birthday

On your special day? You're going to have to physically remove him

Kiss him and say thank you

Vincent Sinclair

Okay he's actually really sweet about it

Did remember

Made you something :)

He's a little nervous to give it to you bc it's "not much"

Yes he's a deranged killer but he's also v in love with you

Otherwise super down to do anything you want!

Within your limits of course

Bo isn't going to let you two just waltz around wherever you want

But you wanna watch a movie? Or eat dinner together? Wanna cuddle?

He just wants to make sure you're nice and relaxed and happy

Kiss him and say thank you

[belit0]

Can I ask you an ask about Izuna and Madara having the same crush? That would be interesting 👀👀

I kinda have a whole fic about something like this xd

It starts innocently enough.

She’s new to the council—calm, composed, voice like water over stone.

Sharp-eyed. Strategically brilliant.

She doesn't flinch when Madara glares.

Doesn't soften when Izuna grins.

She treats them both the same: with cool respect and distant poise.

And they hate it.

But Izuna’s the first to crack.

He flirts outright.

Hangs around after meetings.

Smirks when she calls him out for interrupting.

He lingers behind her when she walks, arms folded, teasing—

–You always this uptight, councilwoman? Or am I just special?

She ignores him. But the edge of her mouth twitches.

She likes the banter.

Izuna feeds on it.

Starts dressing better.

Shows up early to meetings.

Makes jokes just to see if she’ll roll her eyes or raise an eyebrow.

He doesn’t hide it.

Not from her. Not from his brother.

And Madara notices immediately.

He says nothing.

But the room changes whenever she speaks.

His gaze lingers.

He starts listening more in meetings where he once dismissed everyone.

Offers curt nods when she presents a plan.

One time, one time, he corrects a noble harshly for interrupting her mid-sentence.

It’s subtle, but not to Izuna.

–You’re staring again, Aniki.

–I’m observing.

–Sure. Observing her hips in that kimono, probably.

Madara ignores him.

But his jaw clenches.

He starts showing up to the training grounds again.

Not because she’s there.

Just… coincidence. Obviously.

And (Y/N)?

She knows.

Oh, she knows.

She plays neutral—never leaning into either, never giving them ground.

But her eyes flicker with amusement when they both stand on either side of her during discussions.

She accepts their tea offerings like a queen, says thank you with no affection, and leaves them simmering.

She’s aware of what she’s started.

And part of her… enjoys it.

The breaking point comes one evening.

A celebration.

Too much sake. Too much proximity.

She laughs at something Izuna says.

Madara sees her hand on his arm.

A whisper. A tilt of her head.

Later, Madara corners her in a garden alcove.

–Are you interested in my brother?

She turns slowly, eyes calm.

–Are you asking for him or for yourself?

He doesn’t answer.

And then Izuna’s voice cuts in, lazy.

–That’s the thing, isn’t it? She doesn’t have to pick right now.

She meets both their gazes.

Steps forward, perfectly composed.

–You assume I want either of you.

Silence.

The kind that burns.

She smiles, just a little.

–Maybe I want both.

And walks away.

//

It’s not a conversation that happens easily.

There’s tension, of course.

Uchiha pride doesn’t yield without a fight—but this isn’t about dominance. Not anymore.

They’ve both seen how she looks at the other.

How she never chooses—because she doesn’t want to.

And maybe… maybe they don't want her to, either.

One night, they sit across from each other, silent.

The fire crackles.

There’s no jealousy in the room—just inevitability.

Izuna leans back, arms over his head.

–You love her too.

Madara doesn’t flinch.

Doesn’t blink. Just says,

–I do.

Silence again.

Izuna snorts.

–This should be awkward. It’s not.

–We’ve shared everything since birth. This wouldn’t be the first time.

And that’s the truth.

Weapons. War.

Bloodshed.

Grief. Peace.

They’ve never walked without the other.

Why start now?

So when they tell her, it’s like a quiet storm.

She stares. Blinks.

–You’re serious.

Madara only nods.

Izuna gives her that lazy, feral grin.

–We’re not fighting over you, (Y/N). We’re not that foolish.

–We want you. Together. If you’ll have us.

And gods, her breath catches.

Not because of the offer—but because of how deeply she wanted it.

She always thought she’d be the one to break them apart. That eventually, she'd have to choose. But now, she sees the truth:

They love each other more than they’ll ever love anyone.

And she gets to stand in that warmth. That loyalty. That quiet, dark fire between two souls who were never meant to be torn apart.

Their life together it’s chaos.

Power.

Tenderness.

She wakes with one on each side—Madara’s arm heavy around her waist, Izuna’s breath against her neck.

They spar in the mornings, watch her from the corners of the room like she’s the last flame before the dark.

She never feels pulled in two directions.

She feels balanced.

Anchored.

Izuna brings laughter, teasing hands, stolen kisses in public corners. Madara brings discipline, the quiet stare that says mine in a voice louder than thunder.

And in the rare moments when the three of them are alone—when the doors are locked and the armor is shed—

It’s worship.

Equal parts chaos and reverence.

They take turns.

They tease each other with words as much as they tease her.

They know her body like the battlefield: every weakness, every surrender.

And she?

She rules them both with a tilt of her head and the arch of her back.

[ashwhowrites]

For a request, thinking about reader who is new in town. Meets Eddie then becomes his tutor for a specific subject. Eddie is infatuated and what starts as tutoring lessons turns into movie/pizza nights. He confesses about his crush on them, so does reader but they makes a proposition that they can go on a date if he passes their first exam. Until then, there is yearning, impatience, and SO much teasing but it all pays off when Eddie gets a C+ on the exam. As soon as the bell rings he sprints to reader in excitement and proudly shows off his exam. Reader knew he would pass and brings him a sweet treat they baked themselves and ends up asking him to dinner as a celebration as their date. Not sure of this is any good but it's my current daydream

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Tutor Tutor

Y/N hated that she had to be the new kid during her senior year. The pressure to make new friends, join clubs, and do everything to make her college resume stand out. It didn't take long for teachers to realize how smart she was. Her math teacher, Mr. Miller, was impressed by how easy math seemed to be for her. He placed her in his higher class and offered an opportunity to grow her college resume.

And that's how she became a tutor for Eddie. Eddie always struggled with math and if continued to fail the tests, he would fail the class.

Eddie was slightly embarrassed to need a tutor, but if it helped him graduate on time he would do it.

He sat at a table in the library in the back. He drummed his fingers on his textbook as he looked around the room. He had no idea who his tutor was, he didn't recognize the name Mr. Miller gave.

"Are you Eddie?"

Eddie looked to his right to see a girl standing. Books in her arms as she smiled. Eddie was in awe of how gorgeous she was, and he knew he had never seen her before; he would have remembered her face.

"Yeah that's me," Eddie said, he got up and pulled out her seat. She blushed at the gesture and sat down.

Eddie sat next to her and tried to shake away his nerves.

"I'm Y/N, and I'm here to help you! Feel free to ask questions, ask me to stop and explain. We will go at your pace." She explained, Eddie watched her mouth move but he had no idea what she said.

The way the afternoon sun shined through the window and landed on her face. Highlighting her like an angel as she pushed her hair behind her ears.

Since then, Eddie has been smitten with her.

~~~

After a month of tutoring, Eddie and Y/N found themselves hanging out during their study sessions. They still focused on the math, but after about an hour they would get sidetracked. Eddie would order pizza and turn on a movie, claiming he needed a brain break.

It became something they always did, and each movie brought them closer together....on the couch.

Y/N and Eddie grew comfortable with each other and even snuggled sometimes. She'd yawn and lean her head on his shoulder as the final credits played. He'd tease her for being tired but always let her lay there until she was ready to go home.

Eddie started to really like her and it scared him. He focused as hard as he could during their lessons, but the smell of her perfume and her body against his as she leaned over his shoulder to help. She made his head spin.

"So x is?"

"7?"

"Yes!" Y/N cheered as she pressed a kiss against his cheek before she sat back down. She didn't realize what she did, but Eddie did. His cheeks instantly became warm and he still felt the ghost of her lips. He bit his lip as he tried to keep off a cheesy grin.""Yes!" Y/N cheered as she pressed a kiss against his cheek before she sat back down. She didn't realize what she did, but Eddie did. His cheeks instantly became warm and he still felt the ghost of her lips. He bit his lip as he tried to keep off a cheesy grin.

"Can I ask you something?" Eddie asked as he looked up at her. She made a humming sound and gave him all her attention.

"Can I take you out on a date?"

Y/N blushed as she bit back her excitement

Eddie was nervous as he waited for her reply but he could see a smile making its way on her lips.

"How about this? If you pass your next math test, I'll let you take me on a date." She smiled, her hand landing on his.

He smiled as he felt her skin on his.

"I'm passing that test," Eddie promised.

~~~

They had a week before the test, and keeping their feelings out of the way was difficult.

Eddie focused as much as he could on studying, but she enjoyed touching him and making him twitch. She'd rub his shoulders, run her hands down his arms, and draw circles on his hand.

He always teased back. His hand slipped into hers as he walked her to her car. He kissed her goodbye, inches away from her lips. He'd wrap her in his jacket when she shivered.

It was a game for both of them, racing to the finish line. Eddie needed to pass that test.

"Final score is a C-" Y/N said as she passed Eddie back his practice test.

"I passed!" Eddie cheered, and Y/N smiled in return. She wasn't tutoring him to get an A or even a B, just simply above an F.

"Do exactly what you did on Friday, and you'll have yourself a date," Y/N teased as she leaned in. Her lips were inches away from his lips. He felt a whimper in his throat that he refused to let out. He licked his lips and leaned in. He watched her eyes and lips as he went to close the gap between them.

"Nah uh, not until Friday." She whispered as she smirked, her fingers pushed against his lips to push him back in his seat.

She was going to be the death of him.

~~~

Eddie shook the table as he waited for the teacher to pass out the tests. He felt like he knew enough to not fail, and would secure that date. But he was also terrified because if he failed, he failed her.

"Munson, nice job." Mr. Miller said as he handed over the paper. A big C+ written in red ink with a huge circle.

"No fucking way, I did it." Eddie breathed out in disbelief. The bell rang and Eddie yanked his backpack off the chair and ran.

He ran straight to her locker, he didn't care how many people he ran into and all the annoyed comments sent his way. His focus was on her and that was all he cared about.

Y/N was digging inside her locker when Eddie popped up behind her. He grabbed her arm and turned her around, she gasped as he captured her lips in a kiss. A kiss that had been brewing for weeks. She kissed back as she smiled. It was even better than she imagined. He held her waist and controlled every aspect of the kiss.

He pulled away with a huge smile as he showed her the test, she needed a second to snap back into reality.

"I passed!" He cheered, the paper in her face.

"I knew you could do it!" Y/N praised as she pulled him into a tight hug. "I have a gift for you."

"My date?" Eddie asked, but Y/N just laughed and turned around.

She grabbed a container and placed it in his hands.

"Chocolate chip, your favorite." She smiled as Eddie was in awe.

"You made me cookies?" Eddie was shocked, he never had someone do something so sweet for him.

"I'm proud of you. You worked very hard and it paid off."

"I think I might love you," Eddie joked, but a part of it felt like the truth.

"Let's go on that date first, Munson." She laughed, ignoring how the comment made her heart race and her palms sweat.

"M'lady," Eddie said as he offered his arm, Y/N smiled as she hooked her arm with his.

Math might have become Eddie's favorite subject.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt

[reidsaurora]

hil! so im a little nervous to send this in and confused how exactly to request but im gonna try anyway

the summer celebration and the banner is so cute! could i please request for you to write a "Malibu Dream House - domestic!au" with Reid and fem!reader? Spencer and reader are expecting (unless you're uncomfy with pregnancy, then they can just be a couple that's moving) and relocating, buying a home together. and the team comes over for a house warming party during well obviously the summer! just like cute fluffy dynamics between everyone. Rossi is protecting the bbq like it’s his baby and ofc Ms. Penelope Garcia is excited at the possibilities of the couple’s future

i hope this isn’t too boring a request, and of course no pressure to write this, i just hope you’re having a good day and hope summer treats you well 🩵

hi, lovey! sorry this took so long! as usual, i don't have an excuse alshalsjsksh 💀 hope u enjoy though!

"With A Little Help From Our Friends" ~ S. Reid

Summary: When Reader is feeling apprehensive about the end of her pregnancy, Spencer reminds her that really all you need is a little help from your friends.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Pregnant!Reader

Word Count: 1,846

Content Warning: pregnancy stuff, a little sexual humor at the end, food talk, small mention of a gun (this is CM after all), lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: it definitely didn't take me three different attempts to write something without scrapping it...

Originally Written: 07/23/2024 through 07/27/2024

Beta Read By: @dungeons-are-too-cold (love u my editor 4 life)

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

Summer Celebration can be found here!

Malibu Dream House - domestic!au

Crashing Waves - angst requests -> Sun Kissed - fluff requests

To say the last couple months had been busy would've been an understatement.

Sure, when you and Spencer first saw that little blue plus sign, you went into full-blown parent mode. It started with some baby clothes, then some bottles, then the crib… But, entering the last trimester of your pregnancy, that's when things started to get real.

In the process of getting ready, you'd acquired enough things for a potential army of babies, making Spencer's apartment—originally intended for one resident—feel even tinier than the baby you were soon to birth. So what was Spencer's genius solution? Move into a new house, because he simply couldn't get rid of his baby's things before she'd even arrived.

And that was how you found yourselves heavily pregnant and moving into your new three-bedroom Cape Cod in the quiet town of Cabin John, Maryland. Perhaps you should've found somewhere that wouldn't require waiting until your eighth month of pregnancy to move in, but with its charming blue-and-white exterior and flower boxes on nearly every window, it was hard to say no to the place.

The last week had been spent moving everything in, not much thanks to you but thanks to your friends/colleagues of the BAU. Pretty much everyone had been in and out of your home over the week, but Spencer still insisted that the two of you should throw a housewarming party, and who were you to say no to that cute smile and big brown eyes? You only hoped your daughter wouldn't inherit them, or else you might just take that two letter word out of your vocabulary altogether.

Now you were here, in the kitchen supply aisle of the grocery store, contemplating what paper plates to use for the party.

“I really don't think anyone's going to care about the design, love,” Spencer attempted to reassure you. “Just so long as they aren't flimsy.”

Your pregnancy brain was basically ignoring him at this point though. “What if I buy the wrong ones and they think they're ugly?”

Spencer pouted, though he placed a supportive hand on your back. “How long have you known my colleagues? And how many times has someone said something mean about something so miniscule?”

“There was that one time Rossi said he didn't like that flower arrangement I put on the coffee table.”

“In his defense, he said they were the same colors that his second wife had at their wedding,” he explained, then chuckled. “He was probably just having some PTSD.”

Eventually, after a few more minutes of contemplation, you decided on the basic white ones, Spencer reassuring you all the while that they were perfect. Then, it was onto cutlery, which was just another thing for your brain to pick apart. You knew it was silly, truly, but you just couldn't get yourself out of your own head about even the most miniscule things.

On top of that, it seemed as though your husband hadn't missed your shift in behavior. Sometimes it sucked that he read people for a living.

“Honey,” he started, his tone sounding oddly like the word he'd just said, “are you sure this is about paper plates and plastic forks?”

Normally, you'd be able to put up a fight with your brain, push down the thoughts and explain later in the comfort of your home. But pregnant you was much different than regular you, and it only took that one question to have you tearing up.

You leaned into his shoulder, hoping to suppress the sounds of your cries. “What if I make all the wrong choices and the baby hates me?”

His lips met the crown of your head for a gentle kiss, followed by a soft sigh. “I promise she'll love you. You're going to be the most wonderful mother any little girl could ask for.”

“But what if I buy her the wrong diapers and she yells at me?”

Spencer gave you that signature pout, and a small swarm of butterflies set off in your belly. “I doubt she'll be that picky over them, but if she is, we just buy her new ones and make it better.”

You couldn't help but snicker through your tears. “I feel like that's awful advice, but I think I get what you mean.”

“C'mere,” he mumbled, pulling you in as closely as possible. Your bump had made it hard for hugs to happen, but that definitely didn't stop your husband from trying. “You're going to make a mistake or two. It's in our nature. I will most likely make a lot more than one or two mistakes-”

“Not true. You're gonna be the best dad in history.”

“And you will be the best mom in history. It's going to be a learning curve for all three of us. But, when they say ‘it takes a village,’ at least we know we have our village. JJ will be there to help with all your new mom questions and Hotch will be there to help me build her first treehouse. Kate will be there when she starts playing with makeup and we start to feel old.”

You giggled into his shoulder, earning you a small smile. “Penny will be there just to spoil her.”

“Emily will be there just to teach her how to flip someone off,” he snickered, the sound vibrating against your skin. Then, he was pulling you up for a long but sweet kiss, the taste of his morning coffee taking over your senses. “We've got this. You've got this.”

And instantly, you were feeling better. You knew Spencer knew magic, but sometimes you swore he was a wizard with the way he could change things just by saying one thing.

—

The second you pulled into the driveway, your heart sank to your stomach.

“Spence, why is the gate open?” You only hoped he had a reasonable explanation.

Unfortunately, his answer was not at all what you were hoping to hear. “I'm not sure. I don't think I left it open.”

Abandoning your party supplies in the car, the two of you headed toward the gate, Spencer insisting you and the baby stay behind him. As an FBI agent, he knew never to go anywhere without a gun, so luckily he at least had some way to protect you and himself if it came to that.

With one hand, he pushed open the cracked gate, the other lingering near his firearm just in case. The two of you quietly and slowly made your way into the backyard. Your heart was beating so hard against your chest, it felt like it would jump right out of your ribcage. Spencer managed to remain his normal, calm self, but you couldn't say the same.

And then, just as you rounded the corner: “SURPRISE!”

Both you and Spencer nearly jumped out of your skin at the screams, though you both quickly realized what was going on.

Pink and white balloon arrangements, one table filled to the brim with gifts and another covered with various snack trays and drinks. If it wasn't clear this was a baby shower, the sea of people in pink outfits would've been the giveaway.

Penelope was first to greet you, her pink sundress bouncing as she practically ran to meet you. “You don't understand how hard it was to keep this from you,” she said, sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

Your arms flew around her neck, and hers wrapped around what they could of your stomach. “What is all this?” Now you were on the verge of tears with her.

“Papa Rossi wanted to throw you guys a shower and of course we had to surprise you.”

You let go of Penelope and turned to Rossi, wearing his normal attire, except for his normal white button-down had been replaced with a pink one. “Dave, you old softie!”

His arms wrapped around your neck for a small hug, and he left a peck to each of your cheeks. “I love you, kid, but don't call me old.”

You laughed as he let go, and immediately he walked over to the grill, like that was where he belonged. Then, you and Spencer were off to make the rounds.

Spencer wore the biggest smile you'd ever seen, aside from the one he had when you'd first shown him the pregnancy test. Even though you'd been with Spencer for nearly a decade, you still felt butterflies and goosebumps when he smiled, when he laughed, when he called you ‘love’.

“He's gonna be the best,” Penelope said, her eyes following yours.

You smiled before turning back to her. “Yeah, he really will.”

Just then, Luke and Spencer headed your way, Spencer moving to stand behind you. Immediately, you leaned into him, and he took your belly in his hands, relieving some of the pressure there. “Why were you staring?” he teased in your ear.

“I just think you're pretty,” you giggled, the sound like music to your husband's ears.

Luke snickered at the interaction, though he tossed an arm around his girl, giving Penny a quick kiss on the head. “By the way, you guys should have babies more often. This woman has been cooking enough to feed an army. She left like ten casseroles in the fridge for you guys.”

“Penelope,” Spencer gave her a soft look of something close to disapproval, though you knew he didn't mean it. “You didn't have to do that.”

“You and Mama are gonna need something to eat, and I know you guys are not going to feel like cooking after being up with a newborn all night.”

And it was time for another hug, the tears from earlier actually falling this time. You weren't sure what it was about pregnancy, but you'd realized it had made you awfully touchy. But you didn't care, especially today, when you were in the arms of some of your best friends.

“Hey, Penny,” Luke said as he watched the encounter, a tone of slyness to his words. “Maybe we should hop on the train next. Then you'll have a reason to make that breakfast casserole more often.”

She pulled away from the hug before turning to her boyfriend with probably the most serious look you'd ever seen her wear. “Luke Santiago Alvez, if you bring your man-juices anywhere near me, I will rip off your thingy and then feed it to you.”

You couldn't help the laugh that escaped your lips. Then, you turned to Spencer, who was just confused. “Did she just call it a thingy?”

“Did she just say man-juices?” His sentence elicited giggles from all four of you.

It was then that “With A Little Help From My Friends” by The Beatles started to play on the speaker, no doubt having been taken over by Hotch. But as the song played, you couldn't help but notice the sea of people all here for your baby. Sure, you were terrified. But you knew you'd get through it: with just a bit of help from your friends.

-> taglist: @lowsodiumfreaks67 @drayshadow @alexxavicry @nomajdetective @kbakery @leigh70 @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @esposadomd @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @lunar-affection @givemeth @lavhoes @rhyanishere @cat-lockwood @danielle143 @marsmallow433 @handsupforamiracle @topguncultleader @mente-sindescanso @reverieofmgg @spencer-reids-adventures @ah-blossom @encyclo-reid-ia @reidselle @thevisionthedream @dungeons-are-too-cold @mmmeademaaa @louderfortheback @reidsbookclub @annahalstead5021 @cwritesforfun @soapiebear @maelartasch @buckyyyismahhlife @cynbx @hellooitsrose @lover-of-books-and-tea @juismissing @captainchris-pike @therealrazortai

[fairy25]

Can we talk about how women treat "attractive" serial killers like Ted Bundy and Richard Ramirez? The way women will write to literal murders, visit them in prison to have sex, maybe even get married to them behind bars? The way society refuses to cancel "attractive" male celebrities who are known domestic abusers like Chris Brown, Nicholas Cage and Shia LaBeouf? I mean just look at how Johnny Depp was treated versus Amber Heard. Everyone wants to talk about pretty privilege until that concept is applied to men.

I get it. Women are desensitized to violence. But it's so hard for me to wrap my mind around it. What is happening inside your head where you can see that a man is evil but still support him? I've seen my mother in several abusive relationships and it always infuriated me. How she'd finally acknowledge that he was not a good person, that his actions were inexcusable, then the next day seemingly forgot all about it and was hanging all over him like some clingy high schooler.

How can we combat this? I'm asking genuinely. I struggle to support women like this, probably because I'm still carrying anger about it. I just cannot for the life of me understand how or why they are willing to look past a man (especially one they don't even know personally) being an objectively evil horrible irredeemable person because they are attracted to him. Like they'll never be attracted to another man. You really can't find a man to fixate on that hasn't murdered someone? That's asking for the moon?