#she’s very much a gamer who loves to screw around and fight enemies in an open world

[goldensunset]

*violently trembling* i need…. to find twilight princess for the wii… *gets shot by the ‘but you said you would finally play this one game!’ gun*

[mockky]

A sad story how Russo bros reminded us about the crappy world we live in

Disclaimer (kinda). Preventing the arguments like “read the comic-book to understand the movie”. First of all I've never read the comics and never will. I shouldn't do that to watch a movie. It's the director's job to tell me a story. It can be changed a bit, but it still has to have a logic. This is author's priority.

I guess there's no need to run through the movie again and get to details, it's too many of them. Just a few big ones. Firstly, the time travel idea is pretty lame by itself. Every time-travel-movie does the same mistakes – PARADOXES, no one managed to escape it. So if you can solve your problem only by time travel – please don't do the movie, this job is not for you.

It's like the creators don't know the rules of their own universe. Nebula translates her thoughts to Past-Nebula, they're connected somehow even being far from each other, killing Past-Nebula literally doesn't do anything. How does it work? All this plan just fucked up the previous movies. And then some random rat actually saves the universe? Seriously? I don't know but I think it’s called “lazy writing”.

OK, there's no movie without a sin. But what's really important is the screwed up characters. No one did or got anything what one was supposed to.

Loki. His extremely stupid, reckless and suicidal lunge actually was extremely stupid, reckless and suicidal. The God of Guile threw himself with a toothpick against titan and dropped dead. Bravo!

Thor. I never really was a fan of him. But this is officially the worst comic-relief ever. Why he should be like some sort of that whiny drunk dumbass, especially after him being so cool and strong in Infinity war? Gods saved us from fart-jokes and slow-mo-food-fight. Thor lost his parents, lost his brother and Asgard. He's broken and crushed, and Marvel just points finger at him and laughs. Very mature.

Doctor Strange showed up to show us a very important finger.

Captain Marvel is a whole new level of pain in the ass. Skip the Boring-IMBP-part. Though it's hard to forget how they just shoved her in fan's throats, and expected them to have the same empathy for her as for Tony or Cap. But we know them for 10 damn years! The biggest problem that she's not a person, she is God ex machine with magic GPS in her head, invincible, strong-independent-woman and all. With that cockish face of hers, kicked Thanos's ass, but when it comes to the gauntlet, it's up to Hulk and Tony. What da hell? All that power, it's the only thing she could help with. And don't give me that "it's a big universe, not only you've got problems" crap. Thanos's snap affected THE WHOLE universe. Isn't he the main threat here and now?

And what really pissed me of is the ending and the way it fucked up the most interesting and deep part of it all – Steve and Bucky.

Allow me to remind you few points.

CATFA

We see Steve as this tiny subtle guy with heart of gold and strong will, he is hero inside. I can do this all day. He wanted to go to war, he took the serum, he's like walking embodiment of self-sacrifice and heroism. But he became “the chorus girl”, this empty symbol, a fake. Actual soldiers don't believe and don't respect him, cuz he’s never been in real fight. He does not respect himself anymore. But when his friend got in danger in the blink of an eye Steve transforms into this Rambo, alone against the world, flipped like a switch. He dashed headlong to the enemy's base just for tiny possibility his friend might be alive. At that very moment Steve becomes what he meant to be – the real Captain America.

CATWS

Steve managed to get through 70 years of brainwashing with only one phrase, and refused to fight Winter soldier hoping that there was still Bucky somewhere. The entire movie revolves around two of them.

CATCW

Some fans said that Cap and Tony should switch sides on this one, but it doesn't feel right for me. Cap's got a point. What if there's somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us. Obviously it is CATFA reference, where he goes against orders to save Bucky. And he's afraid cuz he knows that it could cost lives. And now he's running around the city protecting Bucky from the government and T'Chala. He fights Tony, bloodily, everything to protect Bucky.

What a lovely deep drama! It's a comic-book story here we’re talking about. I bet in CATFA no one really noticed sweet little Bucky. But the Winter soldier just stole the movie and fan's hearts. Steve and Bucky have this strong almost cosmic bonds, it's stronger than brotherhood or friendship, it was so since 40s. After all this freezing thing they became totally unique for each other. You can smash vibranium shield with that bonds (which Cap actually does symbolically when gives up the shield TWICE, both times for Bucky). It's unbelievable that after all he did for Bucky Cap could ditch Bucky for anyone or anything. Creators teased the fans and encouraged that bromance. It was openly a queer-baiting, it was a canon, and you can't stop the shippers.

Three movies were built up on this relationship. It was work of art if you ask me – so many details, so much depth, and the amaizing acting, I mean you can watch it over and over, and every time you find something new in their eyes or words. And they not just talk, they actually do anything to proof their devotion to each other. It's absolutely beautiful. And it's Bucky who made Steve interesting and alive as a movie character and a real hero as a person.

And what we get in the end? Bucky turned into dust in front of Steve, but on the group meeting Steve talks about... Peggy? Where did it come from? He doesn't mention Bucky the whole movie. Steve goes to return the Infinity stones and comes back an old man. For us, for Bucky, it was 5 sec, but for Steve it was 70+ years. He left Bucky and lived 70+ years without him. Besides he never said Bucky about his plan (or just desire or whatever), didn't say a proper goodbye, didn't consider it as a betrayal. He just decided to live for himself. By the way Bucky reacted as if it was a big surprise for him and even bigger disappointment. He was anxious during that scene when Steve suddenly didn't show up on the platform. And if you wanna say “Bucky knew it was gonna happen and was happy for his friend” then it's the great time to keep your mouth shut. He obviously wasn't happy with it, and he didn't know. Post-movie interviews don’t count! Don’t tell me that it was off-screen. It’s a MOVIE! If something is important – it’s on the screen and it becomes a canon. Stupid scene in a cafe with selfie and kids IS on the screen, apparently it’s important af and it’s a canon. Fat greasy-haired Thor yells at some gamer in chat – that’s VERY important and it’s a canon. But a talk between best friends when one of them decided to leave the other for good and go to the past doesn’t deserve screen time. Are you sure you set your priorities right? By the way Sebastian asked Russo about this. He thought there would be some dialogue between Steve and Bucky, but director said No, you already had that conversation.

No wonder Bucky didn't approach to Steve and only looked from distance. What can you possibly say to the man who claimed himself your best friend and then easily abandoned you just like that, lived without you for 70+ years and apparently was OK with it.

Steve just goes to Peggy. Because that's how it must be, that's natural, that's happiness. This cliché stuck so deep in the people minds, so they can't see anything behind it. I'm sure that not so many people knows what it actually means, but they believe that it's the right thing.

I might blow few minds now. Here it goes – the closest person is the one who shares with you your life experience, not the bed. NO WAY! I'm not saying than your partner can't be your friend. Spouses are not always the closest friends and the closest friends are not always spouses. You just can't screw up all Steve's emotional baggage that related to Bucky just for Peggy, which was in Steve's life, what, like 15 minutes? Steve knows Bucky since childhood, they were best friends, they supported each other, lived together, protected and saved each other many times. They share the same fate (war, serum, man out of time), there's no one who can be closer. “He loves her so much!” arguments can't erase too much of a history. It just doesn't work that way! You can't exchange one for another. A loved one can't replace your best friend, cuz of damn emotional baggage! You can have both, you can have none, but you can't trade it!

And what about Peggy? CATFA-Peggy was not a good person actually. She's whimsical and eccentric damsel. For example she shoots 1) at the experimental read not properly tested shield 2) with a chance to kill someone by ricochet 3) in enclosed space without ears protection for her or everyone else; she punches a soldier for an inappropriate commentary. And the scene in the bar shows Peggy as a simply impolite person – she ignores the soldier who just got back from captivity, it's very rude, especially when Bucky was polite with her. And on top of this I think she picked interest in Steve only after the serum. I bet Pre-serum-Steve was friendzoned for the rest of his life.

In TV-series though she appears to have a strong personality. She is an interesting character and not just love interest for Steve. She founded the S.H.I.E.L.D., had a happy fulfilled life. She let Steve go. And when she died, Steve let her go. I don't believe for a one second she is the love of his life. Staring at the photo is NOT a depiction of love. Not in my book. It's just a woman Steve once kissed.

So what went wrong? They made such a great Steve's character development, they put so much in his relationship with Bucky. Countless details, shades and layers. Every scene, every dialogue. An all of it just... puff... vanished.

Actually it wasn't so sudden as it seems. First signs of it appeared in Civil war. Did you noticed how the creators put the distance between Bucky and Steve? It's like “Hey guys! You know this whole story gets kinda pansy. We stand for cliché, for heteronormativity and happy ends! Every man got a girl! You can't have best friend, not the same sex, only hetero! So quit with the hugs end eye-fucking, more masculinity! Sebastian, you must get as thick as you can, so nobody could say you're gay. And Steve's gonna make out with a girl, just to be safe”. And this kissing scene is the most awkward I've ever seen. This weird kiss out of the blue, the fact that Sam and Bucky are watching (BTW how often do you stare at your friends kissing? Please, share at the comment section). Even actors call this scene awkward and weird, they basically hate it. And in fact that this scene wasn't it the script, it was added much later.

Then the forced friendship between Bucky and Sam. Moreover, they tried to replace Steve'n'Bucky's friendship with it. Sam rather has a chemistry with Steve, not Bucky. And the way Mackie and Stan here and there together on comic-cons where Mackie acts like he's Stan's BBF and Stan's just embarrassed. This whole all of a sudden friendship thing feels so unnatural and stretched. It's not like I don't wanna Bucky has friends and all, adaptation and stuff, But it doesn't mean Bucky doesn't need Steve, no one can replace him. And it all was only to make their friendship NO HOMO. But the way I see it, there wasn't anything gay about them (BTW I'm not a shipper and not homophobic), just some people have dead opossum's emotional range. In their head the man wants either bang you or kill you, nothing in between. I'm sure nobody took seriously the idea that they make them gay, or that they look like gay. It's just bromance. But noooooooo. They must've done this to them, cuz Happily ever after.

Eventually we got what we got. In Endgame Steve and Bucky are barely shares the screen together, even if they actually next to each other, they don't hug, don't talk, don't even look. Even after Bucky got back from the dust. It's like they never cared for each other.

Steve considered Bucky recovered after being tortured and brainwashed for 70 (it still blows my mind how long it is!) years, he's OK. No one said he's OK though, even Bucky himself. He's still the same wrecked man lost in time and his own head with tremendous weight of guilt and torn apart personality. It's not the same Bucky from 40es, and he never will be. Steve’s the only one who could break through to him, for Bucky Steve is like the ground he stands, the only guide light in this chaos that left of his life. According to Stan – Steve is the only thing that keeps Bucky alive. Well, Bucky, sorry pal, gun or rope?

Steve is an asshole. He thinks he's so special and good enough to rewrite Peggy's life (which was good for Peggy without Steve) just because he wants it. Abandons Bucky, who has nothing but Steve, abandons the world he fought for and called his home, and the friends called family. All this for the woman, who was almost nothing to him especially compared with Bucky and the others. All the things Peggy said in a hospital, all the character development and his words about the man died in the ice, new home and new family – all of it was fucked up, buried under that shit. You need to move on. Until you get a time machine. Then you can go back. So what is it? Maybe Steve never was a hero and hence he doesn't deserve our respect. Or, what is the most likely, creators think we are idiots.

Steve gives the shield to Sam. And I wouldn't mind. Why not. This job definitely is not for Bucky. He's tired, he's semi-stable 100 years old man, he had enough of war for two lifetimes. It's too much for him, it would be cruel for Bucky. Symbolism is a cool thing, but life doesn't work that way. Pep-talks don't heal. Get real, OK? Sam is a new Cap, fine, it's logical. But it's always about the How, not What.

From the moment Bucky sees the old man on the bench til the end of the movie Bucky didn't even think about to approach Steve, he sent Sam instead. They didn't talk, Steve didn't even look at him. This entire scene Bucky has this endless sadness in his eyes. There's a glimpse of a smile when he looks at Sam, but in the moment it's gone. And then it's pain and sorrow on his face again. I don't really see happy Bucky. 

Just look at his eyes and tell me you look the same when you’re happy

And actually Steve doesn't sparkle with joy either. He kinda lived his “happy life”, but there's no sign of it, especially that he refused to talk about her. 

But it's confirmed information – Peggy's mysterious husband IS Steve Rogers.In the end Bucky got this last slap on his face. Bucky asked himself if he worth all of it. NO. No, Bucky, fuck you.

I find it funny (seriously I don't) that it's the same directors and screenwriters, who did Winter soldier and Civil war. How could they screw it up? One might say “Cuz there's TV-series Falcon and Winter soldier coming, it needs to be this way”.

A few little ideas for ending that wouldn't do any harm.

Behold!

1.  If they want Steve out of it, why don't kill him? Canonic, right?

1.1 In final battle Steve is dying. He tried to shield Bucky and dying on his arms. He can give the shield to Bucky, so his broken and lost friend could have purpose in life that helps him to move on. Or he can just die and Bucky takes the shield as something in memory of Steve. And then Bucky gives the shield to Sam, like saying “I've lost it all, I've lost my friend, but you're a good guy and maybe we can become friends sometime”. If it happened like this I could in time accept Sam as a new Cap and Bucky's friend.

1.2 Or perhaps Steve, still dying, gives the shield to Sam.

2. This one is not so good idea, but OK. Steve goes to the past, his a douche. But if you want a TV-series he can’t take Bucky with him. And it's still the same – Steve gives the shield, doesn't matter who would it be (pick anyone you like). But Steve can’t leave without saying goodbye.

Oh my god! It's two of it and we still got the TV show! Fascinating! And there is more of it.

3. Oh that's the good one. The one with the Steve we know and love. Steve stays. Steve goes to the past to return the infinity stones. Steve could allow himself just a moment to be selfish and have that dance with Peggy, or stay for not so long, a year maybe. And then he must go back, knowing that there are people who need him more, than Peggy. Of course if Steve is young, fit and tight, he won't retire. But Sam and Bucky are still with us, they're cool enough to have a TV-show.      

4. And what if like this? Shuri did the research to find a way to clear Bucky's head from the Hydra's code. What if she did? Or what if with Hydra's code some memories are gone too? Maybe Bucky could be an antagonist.

And just for me. We don't care about the money, and give Steve and Bucky the final they deserve.

1. Bucky and Steve dying fighting together. The most obvious and sad final. Till the end of the line

2. Bucky dies. It's tragic for Steve and he could say “I've lost it all”, and goes to Peggy. A little OOC, but not so bad.

3. What if we go back to that brain-cleaning option? Steve dies, but Bucky's so broken he can't stand it, and he goes to Shuri so she could wipe up his memory. Tragically and symbolically, cuz first time he was forced to forget Steve's alive, and now he does it voluntarily to forget Steve's dead.

I'm not a screenwriter, and my head's not crowded with ideas. But this is still better than what we've got in the Endgame. I could step on my own throat and accept the Endgame only if Bucky says that Steve is a traitor and he hates him. I'm not saying that Steve doesn't deserve this dance or happy ending. He does. Everybody Does. Everybody've suffered enough. But Steve doesn't deserve to become such an asshole. Bucky doesn't deserve to be forsaken in such a way. 

Honestly, I don't care about forced bromance with Sam, or Sharon, even love interest for Bucky (it would be kinda specific I guess). They could do anything, but they can't throw away Bucky and Steve. These characters are alive, their world is real. Sometimes happy ending is impossible. And if you force it, you can ruin everything. And this is what they actually did.

And it just bugs me – why, why did they do this? Maybe it's too much pressure and they screwed up. Or maybe it's Big studio' bosses. You know maybe if they just shut up about it.. time heals you know. But it gets worse. On the interview directors says one thing and screenwriters say the other, they all can't string sentense together. And only Bucky's face speaks for himself. I mean did you see this fresh Sebastian's panel at London comic-con? I’ll show you few moments, but you've got to watch the whole thing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=-KQpzG49exM). When he asks the audience did they like the movie, many people say “No!”, when he approves the final of Endgame one shout “Liar!”. Look at the body language. You'll see how he sincerely and emotionally talks about anything.  As soon as it comes to Endgame, he is immediately clamped, his leg begins to twitch.

The previous question was that he was interested in - what kind of heroes he wants to play. Therefore, he sits on the edge of the couch, leaning over to the public. The next question about the final and Steve going to Peggy. He immediately moves and leans back, he covers his belly with hand. The question is unpleasant to him.

Then the speech becomes confused, although before that it flowed freely, he literally gasps as if he doesn't know what to say, his micro-mimic denies his words.

He says he agrees with the final, Bucky is happy, Steve deserves it. But his body screams just the opposite - a sharp wave of his hand and chin say "no"

And this is the worst one. On the words “He (Bucky) was happy,” his whole pose just screams “NO!”. This insincere smile, this tilt of the head and a slight denying swaying. All this says more than any words

It's so obvious that he so tired of it. I bet that under the contract, he has no right to scold the movie and must promote the policy of the studio. But when he said that “Bucky was happy for Steve” .... This is the most forced smile I've ever seen. This is the most unconvincing lie in my memory. You can see just right through it, it's like an open book. But he has to do it, because crossing with the Big Studio Boss when your career just went uphill is not the best idea. The truth is important, but the dream is too. He started the career since the age of 15, which is quite long, considering this is not such a brilliant career, but he definitely worked so hard for it. So he caught between the hammer and an anvil now. On the one hand, acting career is the only thing for him, on the other hand studio bosses who can bury the dream, and on top of it the fans who are looking for his support. So "Steve is happy, Bucky is happy, awesome film, kill me, please!". By the way where is his best buddy Mackie? Why Seb's cleaning this mess all by himself? Seeing him like this just breaks my heart

And I honestly do not understand the people who liked it. How can you not see all this?? And there are those who claim that we didn’t like Endgame because we didn’t see any movies at all and didn’t read comic-books. There are Stucky fans who liked Endgame. Are the clichés so strong that people just don’t see all this... The story of Bucky and Steve was way too deep. Bucky is too tragic and well-developed character for a superhero comic-book story. All this deserved so much more. And the creators simply could not finish the job; mass cinema is simple and flat and it's made that way on purpose. They pull the most primitive triggers, so that people do not have to think. The most simple patterns help to reach more people. In other words, they are doing everything to raise more money. And it works. Thus we’ll get more of it in the future. No doubt about that.

For me, Endgame marked the victory of the corporate moneymaking machine over creativity. And the box office speaks for itself. It's an awful world to live in...

[extra-fulgadrome]

MVP - a Snapshot of Hana Song

Hana’s grandmother, born Sagong Chŏng-sun, had been a child when the Japanese occupation of Korea ended. At the height of the occupying force’s cultural suppression, Chŏng-sun’s own grandmother had taught her young granddaughter traditional Korean games that would have otherwise been stamped out — games rooted in folklore, some even older than hangul. These were Hana’s precious heirlooms, and many were the days spent cooped up in her mother’s tiny apartment, playing yutnori and gonu with her grandmother while they waited for the rain to let up.

“Halmoni…” Hana had once whined, pushing herself away from the low table to lie back against the threadbare rug. “You never let me win.”

Her grandmother simply gazed down at her, eyes steely and unsympathetic, as she gathered up the spread of playing cards to shuffle.

“If you want to win, work for it, child.”

She wasn’t the sort of person who backed down from a challenge. Bolstered by those words instead of being discouraged, Hana started to match her grandmother’s skill in games with her own cunning, despite the gap in experience. She won perhaps one in every five games they played, and was always improving — and when she won, how her grandmother’s eyes would shine with pride, and the moment wasn’t even spoiled when the old woman would tease her (“Are you getting better or just more lucky, Rabbit?”).

Then, her grandmother’s health took a turn for the worse, and little by little the games they shared became increasingly seldom occurrences, until they stopped altogether.

It was hard going for a long while after Grandmother passed. When Hana looked at the chess set in their once-shared bedroom, the game half played, never to be finished… it was all too much.

Seeing Hana’s despondency, her mother, a serious woman who did not share her family’s great love of games, did an impulsive thing. One late evening, she detoured on her way home from her work and purchased an old Sega Dreamcast from the secondhand shop, along with a handful of scratched CD roms. It was an ugly plastic box, two console generations out of date. Hana had never been too interested in video games — it was one of a number of “boy things” that, like wrestling in the muddy yard and smuggling nude magazines into school, she wasn’t terribly curious about. When she connected it to the little television in the dining room, only half the games still ran. But the dull glow of the television, the bleep-bloops of music, and the click-clack of colorful buttons was engaging enough to occupy those quiet, lonely hours before her mother returned home every night.

Hana wasn’t sure what changed, or why, but at some point before graduating middle school and after she had completed all of her Dreamcast games several times (perfect save files all in a row, one-hundred-percent completion) she found herself standing outside of a gaming cafe. The cafe’s staff charged by the hour to use their high-end PCs, top of the line rigs which outpaced her school’s computers (and the brick of a laptop her mother sometimes brought home, which was little more than a spreadsheet machine) to an absurd degree.

With only vague ideas of what she was getting herself into, Hana sat herself in a plush chair and pulled herself towards the computer, drawing a few curious looks from the largely male customers — curious, but not unkind as she had feared. With bright eyes and a heart full of hope, Hana logged on for the first time.

The subsequent year passed by in a blur, studies falling to the wayside even as she entered high school.

Warcraft. League. Counterstrike. Age of Empires.

A crowd at her back, cheering her on, as she no-scope headshots a platinum-level player from halfway across the map, again.

MMORPG. MOBA. FPS. RTS.

Her mother, face pulled into a frown, asking her why her grades have been dropping, asking where Hana went after school.

Casual. Noob. Hobbyist. Veteran.

When did the games become more than just a distraction, Hana wondered, idly purchasing herself a Starcraft subscription.

Winning got me this far, as she signed on to her first esports sponsorship. How much father can I go?

Then, later, when the MEKA recruiters come, was it in my blood all along?

Life was a challenge, but not one she couldn’t overcome. The training was tough and the hours were long, but it was just as fun as it was exhausting, and she always performed best under pressure.

Hana Song was a excellent gamer and entertainer, well-loved by her fan-base, but D.Va was transcendent. Rising star, liberator, celebrity, soldier. An idol, a warrior. The face of MEKA’s elite pilots, “D.Va” was a household name the world over, proudly and decisively combating the Omnic crisis. All of this came with perks — her mother would never have to work again, and what little time D.Va spent off of the training grounds or the battlefield passed in luxury.

And that was all well and good, but she’d be lying if she claimed any of that was the reason why she devoted herself to the Korean army’s Mobile Exo-Force.

Was it any real surprise that war was the greatest game mankind had ever produced?

Was it shocking, given that it was the favored subject matter of countless movies, novels, video games, children at play, and great works of art? Humans invented war before they’d made the wheel. D.Va turned war into the casual online entertainment of record numbers of steam watchers the world over. The world continued to spin.

There was some controversy at first, the rumblings of malcontent parents worried that their children would be desensitized to violence, but, well. It wasn’t as if she was fighting actual people, was she? Her heart went out to the sane Omnics in the world, the ones who hadn’t rebelled against their programming and spewed out appliances of death and destruction, but the thing that had risen out of the east Chinese sea and threatened to sink the Korean peninsula wasn’t exactly a cute little roomba.

Meeting the Bastion unit that old man Torbjörn dug out of Sweden had made her reconsider her position on Omnics, just slightly.

It had been during a photo-shoot they had met, a joint operation between the South Korean and the United States militarys — the kind of event that the Americans called “cross-promotion” when what they meant was “propaganda.” D.Va’s inclusion was almost an afterthought, pitched by MEKA for her brand’s popularity and to widen the expo’s audience appeal. For the most part, all she had to do was shake hands with shoddy old bureaucratic men and pose with her mech. After a few hours with the photographer the organizers ran out of things for her to do, and she was shuffled off into the gardens outside the building to sip non-alcoholic sparkling cider and be bored as hell while the “adults” talked business.

Then, from a behind a shrub, beeping. “Bwee, bwoo bwoorbweebweep booo…”

D.Va abandoned her empty plastic champagne flute to investigate, because beeping bushes were the most interesting thing that had happened in hours.

She followed the noise to its source, a pristine Bastion unit that she would have balked at the sight of and sounded the alarm… if it hadn’t been very carefully unshelling a bag of vending machine peanuts with its huge robot hands, and feeding them to a family of ravenous squirrels. D.Va vaguely recalled the news that they’d reclaimed a Bastion unit over in Europe, but she’d thought it would be under lock and key in some remote facility, not hanging out in a government park, making nice with the local wildlife.

“Bweep bweep,” the thing chimed, shifting its… optic?… over in her direction. Spotted.

D.Va took a step back, and snapped a twig beneath her heel, sending the rodents scattering. The machine beeped sadly at their departure, and five minutes later, despite herself, D.Va found herself keeping the Omnic company, sitting on its back as it rolled around the park in tank form.

It… Bastion unit E54, was a good listener, she’d give the robot that much. She spilled her guts to the machine about her frustrations and anxiety, and Bastion always replied with the appropriate emotion (if you could call it that) in its signature style. Sad bwoops for D.Va’s worries, curious bweeps when she talked about gaming, happy bwops and beeps when she talked about how proud she was of her progress.

A photo of D.Va in an elegant gown, riding on top of a Bastion unit as it plucked a flower and offered it to her, made its way on to Omnic rights webpages as a sign of peaceful progress between the races of man and machine… then was picked up a few days later by the mainstream media, who smeared her with rumor-mongering headlines like “KOREAN MECH PILOT, LYING DOWN WITH THE MACHINE?” and “SO-CALLED HEROINE OPENLY EMBRACES ENEMY”. It was a short-lived scandal, but those tense few days where MEKA threatened to pull D.Va from the spotlight made her sick with stress until the PR department managed to spin the story in a positive light.

Her fans (with a few crybaby outliers screaming about betrayal, but screw those guys, really) just thought it was a cute photo. Her Japanese audience especially appreciated its “moe factor” and spammed her with fan art.

D.Va was just glad that the experience, which she would remember fondly as the most open she had been since her grandmother had died, had not been entirely tainted by the unexpected aftermath.

From that point onward, however, MEKA was much more careful about where D.Va was allowed to go. Her life became nothing but endless training, drilling, and fighting. If she had thought her schedule had been strict before, the D.Va of a few months ago wouldn’t have been able to imagine what it was like to only be allowed nine hours to herself a day — eight for sleep, one for meals. Perhaps it was MEKA’s way of punishing her, or perhaps they feared an increase in the Omnic’s ferocity after the recent assassination of Tekhartha Mondatta, leader of the Omnic spiritual movement, the Shambali. Either way, with no time to spend on her usual hobby, the most she got in the way of stress relief was reading the travel blog of Mei-Ling Zhou (and a mobile version of  mahjong she played for a little before bed each night, but that was more so her brain didn’t get cobwebs).

Mei was a figure of fascination to D.Va — sleeping in the cold for nine years, only to emerge into a tumultuous world where her organization had been disgraced and disbanded. Having to escape from the arctic tundra with nothing but her wits… then going on to continue the work right where she and her fallen comrades had left off. Saving the world! ...from an ecological crisis, sure, which wasn’t exactly as cool as an evil empire bent on conquest or a dark god from beyond the stars or a demon army, but Mei very much had the indomitable spirit of her favorite video game heroes.  

So when she heard Mei was coming to South Korea to set up a weather data collection device at one of their military bases, D.Va asked — not begged, or pleaded, but seriously and maturely requested for her CO to grant D.Va the honor of acting as an ambassador during Mei’s visit.

Sooner or later the higher-ups at MEKA had to stop treating her like a child. She was fighting their war, they came to her for aid.

They tentatively agreed, provided D.Va remain on her best behavior leading up to the visit. It was like dealing with her mother all over again, and left a sour taste in her mouth as she exited the administration building.

At least the excitement made the coming weeks bearable.

Finally, the day came. D.Va stood tall, dressed in a pristine MEKA uniform, her arms crossed confidently over her chest and her stance wide and strong, as the transport shuttle reached the helipad and touched down. Her first thought, as the scientist clambered out of the craft somewhat unsteadily, was that Mei-Ling Zhou looked different when she wasn’t bundled up in that heavy fur coat.

A moment later second thought was she’s so cute! Round face! Big dewy eyes! And she was so short D.Va could reach down and scoop her right up! The MEKA pilot approached the older woman, smiling brightly.

“Zhou-Seonbae! Welcome to sunny South Korea,” D.Va said, bidding Mei peace with a gesture — or, as D.Va preferred, V for Victory.

“Hello Miss Song,” the woman said, in mildly accented hangul. Then, switching to english, “Just call me Mei, if you don’t mind!”

“Only if you call me D.Va!” she chirped, and Mei smiled back at her as she hefted a large metal case out of the cabin. She was strong for such a little woman.

They thanked the shuttle pilot, and D.Va escorted Mei to a waiting car and their security escort. The ride over to the cellphone tower where Mei would be installing her probe was only twenty minutes travel the base’s airport, but the short journey was full of happy chatter. D.Va confided that Mei’s travel journal was a source of great personal inspiration to her, and the older woman introduced her to Snowball, Mei’s cute little drone.

“Snowball… that’s nun mungchi, in hangul.”

“Nun mungzhe…?” Mei said, consideringly, patting the little bot on its round head. Snowball’s blue LED eyes swiveled around to look at her. Adorable.

“Nun mungchi.” D.Va held up a finger, her face serious. The spitting image of a patient, if strict, teacher.

“Nun mungchi.” Mei repeated earnestly.

“You’ve got it!” D.Va said, delighted. Mei put her hand on her chest and beamed, as if receiving a great honor.

“Niiirn miiirrchiii,” Snowball whirred cheerfully, bopping the car’s roof in its excitement before careening back down to the seat below, blue eyes spinning cartoonishly.

They were still laughing when their car pulled up to the tower.

At the end of Mei’s stay, the two women parted with great reluctance, both promising to stay in touch. D.Va couldn’t have been happier to count Mei among her friends, and refreshed from the time she had spent getting to know her hero, plunged back into her training with renewed vigor and enthusiasm.

Just in time, too, as MEKA mobilized in response to one of the worst Omnic raids yet, spearing farther inland than even the most pessimistic estimate predicted. The enemy forces had quickly spilled over into unevacuated civilian territory and time was of the essence. They deployed at four in the morning to hold down the line in Daegu while the infantry set up a defensive perimeter. Her orders were to cut the enemy off from encroaching further, to minimize damage whenever possible, and to defend fleeing civilians.

As D.Va touched down in Daegu and began to repel the machine invaders, she saw there weren’t many people left to defend.

This battle, she thought grimly, as she gunned down a line of drones as they swept through an abandoned playground, is not exactly livestream material.

Hemmed in on all sides, D.Va made a tactical retreat and found a vantage point from which to target her foes at more of a distance — everyone knew the high ground was most advantageous. Her fusion cannons were essentially buffed shotguns, the wide spread of buckshot not meant for precision shooting, but she would manage. The targeting system of her mech got a real workout as she sniped stragglers from the Omnic’s main forces (“Boom, headshot!”), eventually drawing their attention all over again.  Nowhere to go, she switched mental tracks to tower defense game and activated her mech’s defense matrix, unleashing a strategic barrage of missiles. Soon, the twisted bodies of the Omnic assault forces lay strewn around the pitted street, their zerg rush at a merciful end — for now.

“...multikill,” she panted, the fusion cannons mounted in her mech’s arms smoking, the barrels white-hot. Any more and the metal would warp — not that it mattered much now, seeing that she was down to less than three-fourths of her ammo capacity. A bead of sweat dripped down her face. If she were being honest, that had been... a real pinch.

Time to restock.

“Need a supply drop,” she said into the comms, waiting for confirmation from command. A minute passed in worrying silence.

“This is D.Va, requesting a resupply drone. Please acknowledge, over.”

There was no response. She switched to the encrypted channels, trying again to reach command to no avail, before attempting to contact the various squad captains.

Nothing.

“Is it broken…? Well, that’s just my luck!”

Even in the privacy of her thoughts, she refused to acknowledge the bleak alternative.

A plan started to come together. Under the circumstances, D.Va would have to make her way over to the supply depot on foot... so to speak. She boosted into the air, intending to take the rooftop route, collateral damage be damned. It was just a few short miles to the north, along the perimeter.

An unexpected burst of fire caught her mech across its visor, the heavy steel slug sending a long hairline fracture through the supposedly bulletproof polymer. She wheeled around to face the source, spotting an airborne Omnic with a mounted railgun of all things. She strafed left, aiming carefully for the machine’s rotors, but it simply tilted away, her barrage deflected harmlessly by its armored shell.

...OP, plz nerf.

Not missing a beat, she fired her last missile at the hovering Omnic, but the distance was too great — it simply swiveled its body 360 degrees clockwise on an axis, the missile sailing harmlessly through the spot its bulk had been occupying a nanosecond previously. Just as she began contemplating activating her mech’s self destruct sequence and booking it, the readout on her HUD indicated a swarm of enemies was approaching from the southwest. Fast.

“Ah, shi-bal…”

No choice now, she would have to make a break for it—

“I’ve got you all in my sights.”

A splash of light in the alleyway where the Omnic hoard was approaching, and one by one the enemy’s icons flickered out, leaving just two — the flying railgun in enemy-red, and the unknown combatant in grey, who was approaching her position now. Were they friend or foe?

As the grey icon came nearer, one thing was clear: they were about to walk right into that railgun’s line of sight, and it was almost done charging a second shot.

Time to be a goddamn hero.

“STAY BACK,” she shouted, the mech magnifying her voice, as she grabbed her light gun from its holster and activated the self-destruct subroutine. The mech launched forward and she launched back, and she was briefly airborne before landing on her heels, digging into the asphalt even as she tried to gain some distance. The timing was crucial, and she knew it by heart, but this was cutting it a little close—

The fusion reactor detonated, shattering a block’s worth of glass and decimating the aerial Omnic.

Well, if anyone asked, she’d just say an Omnic did it.

D.Va, upright and unharmed, popped her gum and turned to face the stranger, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She narrowed her eyes.

“I know you,” she said in english. “The American vigilante… Soldier: 76. Is that right?”

His weapon, which had been raised in alarm towards the explosion, slowly lowered as he took her in. She kept her grip on her light gun tight, but let her arm hang at her side. This guy could be dangerous, could be an ally. She would have to play this by ear.

The masked man grunted by way of greeting, then relaxed his stance. That was no way to react to a warrior of her caliber, but if he wasn’t going to take her seriously as a potential combatant, she would happily take advantage of his oversight. Moreover, now that D.Va could get a good look at him, he seemed injured. There was no visible blood, but he was favoring his left leg… a sprain or break, perhaps.

“You’re that… actress.” Tch.

“I’m a proud soldier of the Mobile Exo-Force of the Korean Army, and you are wanted by the UN for questioning.” He ought to know his place, this old man.

“You, a soldier?” He shook his head, and without the benefit of seeing his expression, it was difficult to tell if it was in disbelief... or amusement. “Your country drafts middle schoolers, now?”

“I am a mech pilot with hundreds of confirmed kills, and unless you can withstand a direct hit from a weapon that damaged tech developed on a multi-million dollar budget, I also just saved your life.”

Perhaps he was shocked into submission, or perhaps he was grateful but too proud to admit it, but regardless, the old man had nothing to say to that. Cool and professional despite her distaste, she approached him from his injured side and offered him her shoulder. Grumbling, he slung his gun around his back and wordlessly accepted her aid, leaning on her as she supported him. Soldier: 76 was heavy, but D.Va didn’t just train in mech piloting. No, she was also quite talented on the track, in the obstacle course, and (naturally), on the range. With her free hand, she twirled her gun.

“You’re a decent shot, right, 76? Try to keep up. It’s a long walk to the perimeter.”

“Hmph. We’ll see who slows down who.”

The destruction of Daegu was a huge blow to the people of South Korea, who had grown comfortable and confidant after MEKA began its initiative to outfit its mechs with pilots and repel the Omnic invasion. Morale was especially low in MEKA’s headquarters, the mood desperate and mournful since the confusion caused by the communications blackout (which resulted from an Omnic hack) had seen many young pilots killed. The populace’s faith in MEKA was shaken, just as those pilots who had managed to survive the disaster where shaken by the loss of their comrades in arms.

It wasn’t the first time they had taken casualties, but never before have they been so numerous.

D.Va felt a wave of pity and understanding for the dissolution of Overwatch, an event of which Soldier: 76 had spoken to her about, just a little, as they fought and fled their way through the streets of Daegu. It had been what little information she managed to get out of him, between his long bouts of gruff silence, occasional condescending remarks, and even rarer praise.

For her part, D.Va was keeping busy with disaster relief. She, along with a bulk of the MEKA recruits, had volunteered their time to the recovery efforts. Command had cleared them for this duty almost almost as soon as they put the request in, probably just because it was a good idea to stay visible to help PR, but who knows? Maybe they thought it would lift their spirits.

As much as D.Va believed this was valuable work, however, it just depressed her. The sooner she was allowed to fight again, the happier she would be. No matter what that Grandpa: 76 said, she knew her place was on the battlefield.

For now, at least, she could occupy her time constructively. It was better than sitting back at base, doing nothing. Yesterday she had cleared a street of rubble, today she assisted the paramedics with search and rescue. Tomorrow she might help with handing out supplies...

Her mech beeped twice, and a bell icon appeared at the bottom of her HUD. A call, nonurgent.

She pressed the receive button, accepting it immediately.

“D.Va,” she identified.

“It’s Maeng,” came the familiar voice of her fellow recruit. “We’ve got a VIP waiting in the market district. You mind playing babysitter until we can get a security detail on him? My shift is just about over and I wanted to grab a bite before I get some shuteye.”

“Yes, yes,” she replied, as he pinged her the VIP’s location on her minimap. “You can always  count on me to make a good impression!”

Her usual cheer wasn’t quite there, but Maeng still thanked her before he exited the call. He was a sweet kid, and it was heartbreaking the way he hadn’t been sleeping since the incident. It was the least she could do.

D.Va headed over, detouring briefly to assist with an electrical fire that had broken out, before arriving at the designated area. Exiting her mech, she checked her hair in the glossy reflection of its visor, winking at the cute girl mirrored back at her.

“Oh my gosh,” went a warm voice behind her, from inside a large emergency tent, “I mean, I knew you were from here, but I never thought… well…”

That voice was… familiar.

The man stepped into the light, and D.Va’s eye widened. The Brazilian DJ smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as he walked… no,  skated forward.

“It’s so cool to meet you. Wish it was under better circumstances, but I’m a big fan, D.Va!”

“You’re Lúcio! The Lúcio,” she exclaimed, a disbelieving smile pulling at her lips. That Maeng could’ve at least warned her…!

Lúcio blinked at her, then grinned goofily. D.Va trotted forward giddily, and the two shook hands enthusiastically.

“Haha, you’ve heard of me? Man, that’s wild. People know me even in Korea, huh. Makes me feel even better about doing this charity concert, if people won’t be wondering ‘who’s this guy?’ the whole time, you know?”

“Of course we know you! Synaesthesia Auditiva has topped the music charts here for months and months now! A lot of us followed you even before that, on the internet.”

“I’d been told global reception was pretty good, but you know, there’s a big difference between being told and seeing it for yourself, I guess! I probably don’t even have to say this, but you’re really big in Brazil. The kids call you Coelhinho, and I’ve even seen people with tattoos of your logo, believe it or not.”

“Oh, I believe it,” D.Va said confidently, putting her hands on her hips. Lúcio laughed good-naturedly, doubling over and shaking his head so all his funny dreadlocks waved around. When he rose, D.Va couldn’t help but think that he was awfully tall. She stood up straighter, feeling her face light up just a little bit.

“So you’re doing a free concert?” she asked, leading them back to the seating in the tent. Folding chairs. Not the most comfortable or appropriate thing for a pair of international celebrities, but that was life.

“Yeah. I’ve done this a couple of times before, like during that hurricane that wrecked Georgia and Florida, or when that bad earthquake hit Italy. Trying to use the power of music to lift spirits, you feel me? First time I’ve ever had a concert in Asia, though.”

“I’m sure the people here will be happy to have you play for them,” D.Va said. She meant it, too.

“I’ve got a fundraiser going online right now, too, and it’s going pretty good. Hopefully I’ll be able to give a little more than good vibrations,” Lúcio said, smiling conspiratorially. “I’d give you a sneak peak at the set I cooked up, but I can’t even get ready until the power in this area comes back, and the last guy told me it might be a while.”

“...probably a few hours, at least,” she admitted.

The conversation lulled into a slightly awkward pause, as they both smiled and tried not to look at each other. D.Va didn’t understand why she was being so silly about this — she had met scores of K-Pop artists and famous actors, so she shouldn’t be feeling this flustered. She stared at the dusty ground, and traced a line in the dirt with her foot. It gave her an idea.

Finally, she broke the silence.

“Lúcio, have you ever played gonu?”

“Nope,” he replied, flashing a winning smile. D.Va liked that smile. She liked it a lot.

“It’s a traditional Korean game — a little bit  like tic-tac-toe. Here, let me show you…”

Happy Birthday, @cervamater. Keep on shining, starlight.

[helenarlett-rex]

What are the rules for the Fraggle Rock RPG?

I haven’t play tested it yet, but alright. These rules come from a half thought out idea I heard once that I then expanded on a little. I think it has potential to be pretty fun despite being a very simplified game but we’ll find out for sure when I try it. In the meantime if you want to give it a shot yourself and see, be my guest.

And sorry, but this is going to be a bit of a long post.

First take your character sheet and put a picture of a fraggle in that big blank part in the top right. This may not seem like a greatly important part, but if you aren’t using that space to  show off your art skills, be an edgelord, or make everyone else at the table uncomfortable by sexualizing a puppet from a children’s show, what are you even doing? I personally go for the third option so I put a nice little picture by Saara in there.

Next let’s work on your stats. Take 1d4 and roll stats for each block, going straight down the line. No picking and choosing where the numbers go, whatever you roll for each block is what you put there.

If you’re wondering where you put your modifiers, the answer is NOWHERE. You aren’t going to use them so you don’t have any. Fraggle Rock is for kids. You think kids want to figure out modifiers?

Now let’s figure out your HP. HP is equal to your Stamina score plus one for each level your character is. Because you are starting out at level zero, your starting HP will just be the same as your Stamina score.

Your speed will work the same way. Being your Agility score plus one for every level of your character.

The XP box is obviously where you are going to keep track of how much experience points you have, and since you haven’t played yet, you don’t have any. So you’re going to leave that blank. Let’s move on to your AC instead. Armor Class is figured out by adding your Stamina score to any bonuses you have from armor. So for the sake of argument, let’s say my fraggle here is wearing a wool shirt that gives her a plus one in AC. That would make her armor class a five. So write that wool shirt down in your inventory and make the adjustments.

Oh but here’s the fun part where if you are the DM you get to screw with your players a little. For every extra point they take to their AC, they will have to subtract one point from their speed. Wearing stuff slows you down after all. Why do you think fraggles wear so little clothing? So that plus one from the shirt is going to translate into a minus one to their speed. Be sure to make those adjustments.

Now you’re going to notice the two banners under the picture of your fraggle. The top one is for your fraggle’s name. I’m going to name mine Trip. The second one is for your fraggle’s job. All fraggles have a job, but they only take jobs they like and even then they only work for thirty minutes a week. So it really doesn’t matter what job you want to give them. I’m going to say that Trip here has the job of naming colors.

Now don’t confuse your fraggle’s job with a class. You’re only level zero. You don’t have a class yet. Classes like Minstrel or Wizard will have to be earned through game play. It will be up to the DM to decide if your fraggle has done something to become a member of an actual class and up to them to decide what bonuses they want to give you as a member of said class. If Trip here stole a robe and a bunch of smoke pellets from a Wizard for example, and the DM declared that she was now a Wizard because of it, I would change her job from Color Namer and replace it with her new class of Wizard. And I understand there is no place on this sheet to write in class features, but actual classes are rare for a fraggle so chances are you could go a whole campaign and never need to write down class features. If you do earn a class and your DM is feeling generous with new bonuses or features, just write them down on the bottom of the sheet or on the back or something.

Now, what about that box that says Fraggle Flaws? Each fraggle should have at least one flaw or quirk. Your DM will need to make a table of possible flaws or quirks and have you roll on it. This can be anything from a d20 table to a d100 table. I’m using a d100 table with flaws and quirks from 1 to 60 and any roll over 60 resulting in the players having to re-roll until they have come up with two flaws or quirks and combine them. So after rolling on that table my character sheet is going to look like this...

Now that’s going to bring in the next box, Frgglishness. Anytime a player does something that plays into their flaw or quirk, the DM should award them one point to their Frgglishness. Trip’s flaw/quirk is that she’s compelled to bathe whenever possible, so for example, if the party walked past a stream or pond and Trip suddenly stripped down and jumped in regardless of whatever was happening at that moment, the DM would then award her one point to her Frgglishness. These points will come in handy later by allowing her to spend them for extra dice on her rolls. In other words, as a DM, you’re rewarding your players for actually playing their character instead of just going from point A to point B and rolling dice.

And let’s talk about how those dice come into play now. So the first thing I want you to do is take that massive dice collection you have scattered out on the table and move 5d6 aside. Now take the rest of those dice and put them away. All you’re going to need from this point on is 5d6. Here’s how it works.

Let’s say your fraggle needs to cross a decaying rope bridge. Experienced gamers familiar with D&D or other d20 systems are going to think, okay, I’ll roll a d20 and add it to my skill check modifier and then the DM will subtract it from the difficulty level and oh my god we are already talking too much math... Fraggle Rock is a kids show, remember? I don’t care if you’re a grown ass adult and you still love it. I’m the same way. But this game is meant to be simple to reflect the simplicity of my love for fraggles, damn it! So here’s what you’re going to do! You’re going to ask the DM, “How hard is this?” And the DM is going to give you an answer. That answer will either be, Easy, Medium, Hard, or Impossible. And that determines how many of your d6 you get to roll.

Easy - 4d6 Medium - 3d6 Hard - 2d6 Impossible - 1d6

And figuring out if you are successful in your task or not is even easier. If two of your dice come up with the same number, your fraggle is successful. That’s it. You just need to roll doubles on two of your dice. So obviously the more dice you have to roll the greater your chance of getting doubles. And that’s where your Frgglishness comes in. On any roll you can spend one point from your Frgglishness to add one extra die to your roll. And Frgglishness points stack, so be sure to play your character often and collect as many of those points as you can because you never know when you are going to need them and you don’t want to be stuck looking at an Impossible task with no extra dice to roll.

Do you see what we are doing there? It’s a role playing game that forces people to role play. If you’re glued to your phone the whole game, or off at the other end of the table talking to one of the other players OOC while others are trying to play, and only look up from what you are doing when someone tells you it’s your turn to roll your dice, you aren’t going to have a good time. The DM may just decide to put an endless string of Impossible rope bridges in front of you... Then what are you going to do? Stop talking about Star Wars with your friends and act like a god damned fraggle!

Sorry... Let’s talk about combat now. You know, the thing you want do as soon as you are alone in the parking lot with that player who won’t stop interrupting the game to talk about Star Wars... Combat is going to work very similar to skill checks and this is where those stats I had you write down are finally going to come into play. You thought those were for skill checks, didn’t you? Nope! I guess if your DM wants to they could look at your stats and decide how easy or hard a skill check is going to be based on what stats you have. That can be a thing if your DM wants to take the extra step... Like saying, “Oh you have a 4 in Agility? Then for you crossing the rope bridge will be an easy task.” But that’s entirely optional depending on how your DM wants to play it. She could be a sadistic bitch who wants to put your fraggles through a meat grinder after all... For the most part, those stats are going to come into play during combat. Those are going to be used to decide how much damage you do during combat depending on what kind of weapon you are using.

There are no weapons lists in this game. Anything can be a weapon and your DM will decide what stat that weapon is going to draw from. Maybe your fraggle finds a big stick to whack things with. Your DM will probably decide that’s going to draw from your Strength stat. But Trip here isn’t a very strong fraggle. I only rolled a one for her strength. So she’s probably not going to be running around hitting things with a stick. She’s a smart girl, so let’s say her weapon of choice is her words. Maybe she talks the enemies around in circles until they hurt themselves in their confusion... So in inventory I’m going to add Double Talk as her weapon, and that is going to draw from her Intelligence stat.

So now when she has to fight a... oh... Let’s say she’s fighting a Poison Cackler, the DM is going to tell her how hard it is to hit it with an attack. Poison Cacklers are pretty nasty so let’s say it’s Hard to hit it. That means Trip is going to roll 2d6. If she wants to increase her odd, you’ll notice I gave her a Fragglishness point for her unexpected bathing, so she could spend that and bump her roll up to 3d6 if she wanted to. Now let’s say she gets lucky and rolls two fives and a three. That’s a double. So she is successful in her attack. Her INT score is 4, so she does four points of damage to the Poison Cackler which the DM will subtract from the Poison Cackler’s HP. Easy, right?

But what if the Poison Cackler lands an attack on Trip? For this the DM will select how hard it is going to be for the monster to hit the fraggle in question. Trip has a speed of 3, she’s fairly fast for a level zero character but not as fast as she could be. I’m going to decide the difficulty level for the Poison Cackler to hit her will be Medium. The DM rolls 3d6 and comes up with a double as well. The Poison Cackler hits. And let’s say the Poison Cackler does a damage of six. Trip has 5 AC, so her armor absorbs five points of that damage, leaving her to take one point of damage and dropping her hit points down to three.

If a fraggle drops to zero hit points they are dead.

Now that you know how combat works, let’s talk about the last two items of business. What happens when you level up? The DM can decide how many experience points it will require for your fraggle to level up. Personally I’ve never bothered with XP in any game I play and use the milestone system, where I let my players level up after each adventure they complete. But it’s all up to how the DM wants to do it. Each time a fraggle levels up they should be rewarded. For every odd numbered level they obtain, Lv 1, Lv 3, Lv 5, and so on, reward them with one point to add to their stats. This point can be put in any stat of the player’s choice. I’m worried about Trip’s hit points so I’m going to put that point into her Stamina.

She’s now a level one character with five points in her Stamina so that pushes her hit points up to six. Remember, you’re just adding your Stamina and Level together to get your HP. If I’d put that point in Agility I would have pushed her speed up to four, but at this stage I feel like being able to take more hits is more important than moving fast.

On even numbered levels I would reward the fraggles with something other than points for their stats. Give them a cool item with special bonuses or something like that. Just be sure to reward them with something. People hate it when you gain a level and get nothing out of it. But if you give them points to their stats every level the fraggles may become too powerful and let’s face it, that’s not a thing anyone ever said about a fraggle.

Now for the last item to address. That Knowledge box in the bottom right. What’s that for?

Every time a fraggle completes an adventure, or maybe at the end of each session if the adventure is a long thing, the DM should have the players write down one bit of information they learned during the adventure/session. Any information they think would be valuable and worth remembering. Maybe Trip learned that one of her party members has a flaw/quirk where he gets uncomfortable when he sees others undressing. Quite a strange character quirk considering fraggles generally see clothing as being optional... But she noticed how uncomfortable he got when she took off her shirt to bathe in that pond. So that’s the info she’s going to write down for this session.

Players can only write down one bit of Knowledge for each adventure/session so they should choose carefully what they decide to remember. That info can then be used in future sessions to earn more Fragglishness points. Any time a situation comes up where a fraggle can use the info they have recorded in their Knowledge box, they should be rewarded for using it. So for example, if Trip came across another pond while traveling with Boober and she remembered how he gets when she takes her clothes off, and she makes it a point to have him go gather cave moss before she strips down and jumps in, she would be awarded another Fragglishness point. That’s just one example. The info put into that box could be anything from the best way to fight a certain kind of monster to what foods taste bad. But whatever it is, a fraggle can’t earn a point for doing it unless they have recorded that information ahead of time.

One other rule that I forgot to work in before is that if a fraggle doesn’t have any Fragglishness points and still needs to increase the number of dice in a roll, they can still do it without Fragglishness points but only if they can get the entire party to help them with it. And I do mean the entire party. If there are six fraggles in the party but one is off in a different area, it won’t work. If there are six party members you need all six working on the same task to make the number of die go up. Five won’t do it.

And that’s pretty much it. The game is meant to be simple and the DM is meant to have freedom to decide things on the fly instead of being tied to hundreds of pages in a thick book that bogs things down every time you can’t remember the rule for a certain thing. And again, I haven’t play tested it yet, but I plan to in the near future. So I’m not sure yet if the game is going to be too easy to give the players a challenge or if it’s going to turn into a fraggle blood bath.

[dougcook]

I wrote words and created sentences to review a game that came out months ago!

               “He will remember that.”

               Well, I goddamn hope so.

               I’ve never played a Telltale game before. I’ve heard they’re great. A lot of people talk about THE WALKING DEAD (Seasons 1 and 2), but I passed because I don’t much care for THE WALKING DEAD. It took me too long to realize GAME OF THRONES was a Telltale game and not a cheap tie-in, and by the time I did I learned the big ending and wasn’t particularly interested anymore. I’ve never played BORDERLANDS so TALES FROM THE BORDERLANDS was never really considered. I’m always intrigued by games that have a shifting plot based off of your choices – HEAVY RAIN got a shot years ago because of this, I fell in love with MASS EFFECT partially due to how skillfully it builds on your choices over three games [1], and I randomly took up LIFE IS STRANGE to see how they did it, even though it was an unknown to me.

               But I know Batman. And in the wake of an uncertain future for Batman video games following Rocksteady bowing out after ARKHAM KNIGHT, I was eager to try BATMAN: THE TELLTALE SERIES.

               Alright, so I’m not such a big gamer that I can talk about gameplay for long, and it’s not a huge factor for me. I mean, I need the gameplay to work and be fun, but beyond that there’s not a huge difference. And while I think there’s a lot BATMAN: THE TELLTALE SERIES has going for it that the Rocksteady games don’t, the gameplay is nowhere near as fun or engaging. The QuickTime event nature of its action makes them tedious to me, and anytime I had to move Bruce or Batman around is was mostly frustrating. And I despise the game forcing me to highlight circles when investigating things with the right joystick, it feels so damn awkward, like being asked to write with my non-dominant hand.

               Thankfully, the game’s real interest to me was its story, and how it developed behind my choices. And this is clearly Telltale’s bread and butter. There’s a lot of spoilery stuff to unpack here, so probably stop reading if you haven’t played and want to remain spoiler free. Or don’t. I don’t care, do what you want.

               So the game’s real strength is its use of Batman lore against the player. And it’s undoing as well. It starts off well enough, by introducing Oswald Cobblepot as a handsome, thin young man around Bruce’s age, and an international criminal. It takes a canon idea (the Cobblepots and Wayne’s as rival families, until the Cobblepots crumbled, leaving Oswald bitter), and takes it in a fresh direction of establishing Wayne’s equal and inversion in all ways. It’s fun!

               This even applies to the big thing I presume people being pissed about: Bruce learns that Thomas and Martha Wayne were in league with Carmine Falcone and corrupt Mayor Hill, and that specifically Thomas is the brutal evil mastermind, committing enemies to Arkham Asylum for petty reasons, such as Esther Cobblepot simply to gain her land for the construction of Wayne Tower. Guys what a great idea! By casting the shadow on the memory of Bruce’s parents, it forces the idea of Batman to be analyzed: why does Bruce do this then, if his memory of his parent’s morality was a lie? (This gets compounded when it comes out that Thomas and Martha’s deaths were a hit ordered by Hill, and not a random mugging). Where does Bruce’s moral code come from, and does it remain afterwards? This is, of course, not really a chance for Bruce Wayne to grapple with these thoughts, but a chance for us, the player, as we dictate what kind of a man Bruce/Batman is.

               This takes me back to a memory of a coworker and I discussing THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS. I really love the book, I do, but I’m not blind to the unfortunate fascistic implications of the book’s portrayal of Batman. He has power and takes more because only he can be trusted with, etc etc. My coworker didn’t see this as troubling – he’s Batman, he is the only person that can be trusted with power. He couldn’t see that, while the fictional character as written by a person is pure and always makes the right choice, that’s not a lesson we as people can take and use in our lives. Superheroes work best as Aesops, and too much Batman fiction gives into the power trip of the character. It comes from the base root of everything, this intrinsic idea: the trauma instilled Bruce with a hardline moral code that makes him incorruptible. BATMAN: THE TELLTALE SERIES forces us to reconcile how that moral code can remain intact when the cause is shown to be even more impure. I find it interesting so many players make choices as Batman that are more merciful when faced with this.

               It’s a shame the things we don’t control are borderline too much. Like the Rocksteady games, it’s a pretty tough sell that Batman doesn’t accidentally kill anyone with his roughness. Batarangs enter eyes; heads slam against walls. I want to applaud the game’s desire to show violence as brutal, I just don’t know if I have it in me to go through anymore crime scenes where people’s eyes are gouged out.

               Oh yeah, and the game seems to have an obsession with eyes. Batman gives Catwoman a black left eye after punching her; the lens on the goggle on that same eye is broken in the next episode, along with Batman’s left eye. Alfred’s glasses are found with the left lens broken, and he can possibly lose that eye by the end of the game [2]. Penguin at one point dons a…um, thingy that looks like a monocle, leaving his left eye open. Falcone is shot (oh yeah, he gets offed so much earlier than one would expect) with a shot to the left eye. So does Thomas Wayne when we finally get the required Wayne’s death scene. And of course, there’s the Harvey Dent scarring, a major part leaving his left eye uncovered, ala THE DARK KNIGHT [3]. The game’s central focus seems to be on secrets; everyone’s got ‘em, and nobody’s what they appear. Except Gordon. Fucker’s a rock in Batman fiction.

               The first three episodes of the game move at a breakneck pace, with things getting wilder until the third episode’s climax, which reveals you were being played the whole time by…Vikki Vale? Um, cool? It’s not that it breaks canon (I’ve shown a fondness for that so far), it’s not that it’s left field (it’s foreshadowed very well in retrospect), but…like, how the fuck does somebody become Gotham’s Lois Lane while secretly planning…huh, not super sure what her end goal was besides screwing with Bruce Wayne. The fourth and fifth episodes continue to fly by, with fun cameos [4], explosive moments, and some heartfelt scenes. But ultimately, the climax falls short due to Lady Arkham/Vikki Vale just…not being interesting. It works, story and theme wise, to fight her as Bruce Wayne, but it’s so muddled what motivates her and what she really wants. It’ so unclear she comes across more like throwing a tantrum. And to have an interesting version of the Penguin as her number two, and even a Two-Face who’s betrayal stings so much due to a strongly developed friendship with Bruce both playing second fiddle to Lady Arkham, well, it’s disappointing.

               The game starts strong, and ends with a bit of a dud. But its highs, man they’re really high. A quick-hit of amazing stuff in this games: Bruce throwing down the Batman cowl and yelling at Alfred, accusing him of lying about his parents; Bruce and Selina Kyle fight off Penguin’s goons in a bar to, well, jaunty bar music; Bruce pulling off the “I’m about to be caught as the other man in a love triangle so I’ll tip-toe away carrying my clothes to hide” move while carrying the friggin’ batsuit; Batman and Two-Face have a showdown in Wayne Manor; Bruce reassuring a despondent Alfred he’s not to blame for the game’s events.

               BATMAN: THE TELLTALE SERIES can delight and make you weep, but only when the villains aren’t around. Rating: 14 out of 17 Stolen Waynetech Grapplers

[1] – There’s a handful of series in fiction that are so tightly wound together that I never engage with a single installment out of context – I begin the series at its start and I go until it ends. HARRY POTTER, THE LORD OF THE RINGS films, and MASS EFFECT are the three examples I can name without hesitation. I’ve played through the three MASS EFFECT games straight three times. [2] – I confess, this didn’t happen in my play through, I simply read about it after. [3] – I consider it a true delight that I could’ve avoided Harvey getting scarred, but that’s another “armed with canon” moment for you. I assumed it was gonna happen, thus I was complicit. [4] – Let’s talk Joker down here briefly. I liked him, mostly, interpreted as like, that awkward, nerdy guy you knew in college with the weird sense of humor. His knowledge of everything Lady Arkham comes across as 80% ��get out of jail free” card, but it does kinda fit. He’s…aight.

[operationrainfall]

Title Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition Developer Moon Studios GmbH Publisher Microsoft Studios Release Date September 27th, 2019 Genre Metroidvania, Platformer Platform PC, Nintendo Switch, Xbox One Age Rating E for Everyone – Mild Fantasy Violence Official Website

After beating Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition, I have to question whether I’m as good at platformers as I’ve always thought. Though, to be fair, Ori and the Blind Forest is a mix of hardcore platformer and Metroidvania. That is an odd distinction to make, but after experiencing what the game had to offer, I can’t help but feel it’s accurate. I’ve known about Ori for a long while, but it took the Switch release of the Definitive Edition to finally spur me to trying the game. It would have happened much sooner had I known that it was part Metroidvania. This game is lush, melancholy, beautiful, and full of wonder. It’s compelling and emotional. Then, the real question is, was Ori and the Blind Forest worth my wait?

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Ori and the Blind Forest starts with a storm that set events in motion. A lone light is dislodged from the luminous Spirit Tree, and crashes to the earth. It turns out the light is our hero, Ori, though he starts as a frail, innocent child. Looking like a hodgepodge of forest animals with bright white skin and dark eyes, Ori nevertheless awakens the mothering instincts of Naru. Naru couldn’t be more different from Ori, being huge and hairy, but that doesn’t stop her from loving him dearly. Things go well, and time passes peacefully, until something dramatic happens to impact the natural health and bounty of the forest kingdom of Nibel. Food is less plentiful, the elements become much more extreme and suddenly there’s not enough food to share. In a heartbreaking moment, Naru sacrifices her share of food to Ori, and one day he finds her still and lifeless. Orphaned, Ori sets out into the elements, where he perishes. Revived by the last flicker of the Spirit Tree’s light, our hero goes on a journey to restore the elements and discover the source of this catastrophe.

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What’s truly impressive about the presentation of Ori and the Blind Forest is that most of the story is told visually. There are some minor narrative moments, and you’ll quickly gain an ally who explains the basics, but the vast majority of the powerful story moments are ones that the game doesn’t fully explain. I find this a wise strategy, since it lends the game a “living fairy tale” vibe. Take a spoonful of Studio Ghibli, mix in some Grimm Fairy Tales, add a pinch of Disney, and you have a heady concoction. While there is a large part of me that prefers that every minute detail of a plot get explained, I still feel this approach worked really well here. Sure, I still had some lingering questions at the end of the game, but the most relevant details were made perfectly clear.

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Now, I consider myself a champion of both the platformer and Metroidvania genres, so you might be surprised that I found Ori and the Blind Forest incredibly challenging. Part of the reason for that is that, as I stated earlier, the game doesn’t really hold your hand. Instead, you’re left to your own devices, taught new skills as you explore, and everything else you do at your own pace. A more important reason for the difficulty is that Ori is incredibly squishy, and there are traps and threats everywhere, most especially spikes. And while you can increase your base health like in any proper Metroidvania, it never seems to do much to protect you from harm. Hell, even after I purchased an ability called Ultra Defense, I still felt like I could get walloped in a few solid hits. Plus, when you factor in that Ori moves like he looks, meaning he skitters about like a squirrel, you can start to comprehend why I started to question my gaming skills.

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Quite simply, Ori and the Blind Forest is not an easy game, even for this veteran of the genre. You’re going to die a lot, and god help you if you try for the aptly named Unhinged achievement, which requires beating the game without dying once. That said, I’m happy to admit that Ori is also a wonderful and fun game, despite the difficulty. Sure, there were times I saw so many spike-covered surfaces I thought I was playing Celeste, and yes, I yelled and screamed at the game when I screwed up and died repeatedly. However, it’s also rather satisfying whenever you manage a seemingly impossible feat, such as grappling off owls determined to claw you to death, or riding a gust of wind through stalactite covered death traps, or escaping from a river of magma. There’s no shortage of challenge in this game, but those willing to brave them all will find a fascinating and beautiful world.

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You’re probably wondering how combat works in Ori, and the simple answer is it’s Sein’s doing. At the start of the game, Ori is completely defenseless, and can only move and jump about. That all changes when he finds Sein, a fragment of the Spirit Tree. While Ori is mute, Sein is very talkative, and explains the task ahead of you, as well as giving advice how to proceed. Sein will also protect you with powerful beams of fiery light that burst from him, as well as other attacks like a chargeable explosion. Ori and Sein have a very symbiotic relationship, but for simplicity you can just think of Sein as an extension of Ori’s will. You still have complete control over when he attacks. I admit that this took some getting used to, since most Metroidvanias have you directly attacking foes, whereas here you can be running away from them and Sein can still lock on and blast them. Thankfully, even though Ori can’t directly defend himself, he learns many, many skills that help him traverse the environment.

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In traditional Metroidvania fashion, Ori will come across altars that empower him with new skills. These range from the standard stuff like wall climbing, double jump, and hovering, to more exotic things like his Spirit Flame and Charge Flame, and most importantly, his Bash skill. I have to say, the Bash skill is one of the most complex and unique moves I’ve seen in a long time, and I have somewhat mixed feelings about it. Bash allows you to latch onto a projectile or enemy and freeze time, then by rotating your orientation to said item with a handy arrow, you can fling yourself away from it. Where this got tricky was that there are many times where you have to flip the orientation, flinging yourself away and aiming the projectile at a breakable wall. The game really likes this mechanic, and eventually will start throwing it at you when you’re in mid-air or rushing for your life. I think my biggest issue was that it never became a secondhand reflex to use Bash, and I was constantly required to utilize it. That said, the vast majority of the skills Ori learned were fun and intuitive, so I can’t fault the game too much over one I had problems with.

More Ori on Page 2 ->

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As if that wasn’t enough, Ori also has an Ability Tree. At any save point, you can use Energy either found in the world or obtained from beating enough enemies to purchase new powers. Some are passive, and others are new, modified versions of your skills. There are three branching paths for you to explore, and the only proviso is you need to purchase the abilities in sequence, and they progressively cost more Energy. In my 9 hours with the game, I only managed to fully acquire one branch of the Ability Tree, and found around a third of the Energy Meter (which dictates how many times you can use certain attacks) and Health upgrades. I’m sure there are other gamers much more hardcore than myself who not only managed to 100% the game, but did so in a fraction of my playtime. I tip my hat to them, but feel my experience much more accurately represents the average gamer. Oh, and back to the topic of save points, while there are stationary ones that heal you fully, called Spirit Wells, the vast majority you make yourself. This is done when you have enough excess Energy, and you hold A to create a save point wherever you like. Or mostly wherever, since the game won’t let you make them in mid-air or in areas it considers unsafe. Though, honestly, the entire game is dripping with menace, so that’s a somewhat dubious distinction.

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Now, I’ve spent a lot of time talking about Ori, but it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t spend a little time talking about the game’s villain, Kuro the owl. Calling Kuro a mere owl denies the scale and menace of the bird, not to mention her cruel intelligence. Kuro is responsible for the state of things, and she will ruthlessly hound you at key points in the game. Ori is a infinitesimal speck compared to Kuro’s size, and if she catches him, he’s done for instantly. Thankfully, whenever you encounter her, the game conveniently autosaves so you don’t start over from the very beginning of the stage when you die again and again. At first I completely loathed Kuro, but about halfway through the game the truth of her story is revealed, and I found I had a ton of sympathy and newfound understanding for the villain. It takes a special game to accomplish that sort of feat.

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While Kuro is undeniably the primary antagonist in Ori and the Blind Forest, the game doesn’t really have traditional boss fights. Sure, there are a couple areas you face mini-boss encounters, typically against a recurring foe, this leaping tentacle monster that erupts from the floor to harass you. But, in lieu of real boss fights, the game instead has epic chase sequences. One of Ori’s goals to restore the Forest of Nibel is to find and restore the three Elemental Lights. These each represent a distinct element, namely Water, Wind, and Fire. But, as a result of the corruption of each of these elements, upon restoring them they blaze wildly out of control, and you have to run like hell to survive. These are heart-pounding and harrowing sequences, and they provide a huge challenge. Though they are all more than epic, I found the first one to actually be the most challenging, racing against rushing waters seeking to drown Ori in the Ginso Tree. While I don’t mind the difficulty of these overmuch, I still found myself longing for a more traditional gauntlet of boss fights. That said, if the game eschewed these sequences for big bosses, it wouldn’t feel nearly as unique. That said, I most definitely have a love/hate relationship with these chases.

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For the most part, I feel the level of challenge in Ori is fair, but there’s a couple areas that were overwhelming for the wrong reasons. On occasion, I found the controls to be a bit unresponsive, such as leaping from a wall and double jumping. Sometimes it just doesn’t work properly, and I ended up falling to my death. Regarding my issues with the Bash skill, a good example of my frustration is the following. There’s a late-game area called Sorrow Pass, and it has beams of light that instantly kill you. Your goal is to push boulders to block these beams, as well as pushing them to the right positions. Problem is, often I had to leap in mid-air after launching one to redirect them with another Bash, which was incredibly difficult. Lastly, I faced some frustration when I encountered barriers that none of my skills or abilities could open up. I know you do get a couple powers from optional areas, the Black Root Burrows and Lost Grove, so it’s possible that’s why I couldn’t figure them out, but it was still annoying. Lastly, while I like how Ori skitters about, oftentimes he’s too floaty for his own good, and I would end up overshooting things. I understand his movements are dictated by his physical attributes, but I would have killed for his platforming to be a bit more precise.

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Visually, Ori and the Blind Forest is a transcendent experience. I almost always take my own screenshots while playing Switch games I review, and I easily took more than 200 while I played. This is just a beautiful and melancholy world, where darkness swallows all but a speck of light. Yet it’s a world full of natural and unnatural beauty, such as purple thorny bushes, huge mushrooms and incandescent infernos. Though there’s not a ton of different foes, they all look and act differently, such as heavy leaping toads, explosive larvae that erupt into smaller threats, and much more. I love the use of dark blue colors in the game, and the clever use of lighter hues to illuminate it. Musically, Ori is even more breathtaking. Though there’s not a ton of different tracks, they each serve a distinct purpose, as do the many sound effects. More importantly, the music is very emotional, which helps ground the tone of the game. I even found the occasional use of silence was genius, and did a great job of building the tension or momentary peace in this world.

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I can’t help but love Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition. Sure, it’s far harder than I expected, even on Normal, but that doesn’t take away from the glory of this experience. In my playthrough, I uncovered about 75% of the map, and still have plenty to unlock. And that’s not taking into account the many achievements you can fulfill (though I’m not even trying for Unhinged). For only $19.99, it’s hard to turn it down. While it’s true some of the mechanics and controls were a bit finicky for me, overall the game played like a dream. If you love emotional and unique experiences that truly draw you into the game, you have to play Ori and the Blind Forest. Even if you don’t think you’re good at platformers, you can always try on the easiest difficulty, because this is an adventure that demands to be experienced. Kudos to Moon Studios for developing it and to Microsoft for bringing it to another console.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4.5″]

Review Copy Provided by Publisher

REVIEW: Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition Title Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition

[bluestonewings]

tagged by @rik-u​ !!!! woahhh

“KINGDOM HEARTS” SURVEY

PSA I HAVENT PLAYED ANY KH GAMES EXCEPT OF BBS(i’m WORKING ON IT) and KHX SOOOOO

IT GOT REALLY LONG BUT IT WAS FUN!!!

SECTION ONE

1. Your favorite KH guy? UHHH DEMYX, MY WATER MUSIC MAGIC BOY, WHAT A GOOD BOY, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH (i’ve given him such a sad characterization recently i’m sorry), riku(good boy), repliku(deserves better), Zexion/Ienzo(sneaky nerd boy), Zack(he’s final fantasy but i love him regardless), sora(everyone’s favorite sunlight boy), terra(DESERVES BETTER, YOU GO FIGHT THAT DARKENESS YOU), vexen/even(shitty science man), AnsemSoD(best ansem), ISA (A GOOD BOY)

2. Your favorite KH girl? namine(pure), kairi(GIVE ME MORE), xion(good girl), aqua(QUEEN), olette(I LOVE HER), larxene(MMmmmMMMM) jokes on you i love everyone (@ square what is this shitty gender balance you sexist morons)

3. Your least favorite KH guy? Why? Xaldin’s a dickwad and I hate him for bein a lil shit. Dilans’ cool though. Actually Xemnas goes on this list too, screw you buddy

4. Your least favorite KH girl? Why? screw this question >:0

5. Favorite World? (Includes both KH1 and KH2) radiant garden n daybreak town! pretty home worlds

6. Least Favorite World? agrabah probably?? i’m tired of it.

7. Favorite Weapon? (Includes both KH1 and KH2) like,,, a keyblade design or a weapon or a weapon design? Anyway i like the look of xaldin’s lindworms (DRAGON SPEARS), zexion’s indescribable lore is pretty, saix’s gibbous, mickey’s moon keyblade! Also everyone’s alternate weapons in 358/2 are underrated and everyone should check them out!! (I am willing to pay real money to get a guitar shaped like any of demyx’s alternates just fyi)

8. Least Favorite Weapon? why. does. xemnas. have. lightsabers. (personal headcanon they make the ‘vmmm vsshhhhh’ noises when he moves around)

9. Fave. Summon? (includes both KH1 and KH2) *jazz hands* i’ve never played these games…!!! nico used bambi a lot so I’ll go with that

10. Fave. Form? (aka. Sora’s Forms) wisdom!!! i love it when he just zips around and shoots things

11. Favorite Pairing? (includes yaoi coupling) Why? ummm, not much of a shipper but lexvex! a lot of other things as a joke, probably! I’m a liberal shipper. zemyx but like partially as a joke. literally almost anything flies in my book.

12. Least Fave. Pairing? (includes yaoi couples) Why? *deep inhales* anyways if you ship little kids with not little kids you can mcfuck off

14. Weirdest Pairing(s) You’ve Ever Heard Of? @marlushion​ @rik-u​ vexdem??? what???? i was going to say vexen n saix but what???? what?????????????

15. Any “KH-pet-peeves” you have? i’m….. so bad……….. at the actual………….. games………………………. ;-;

16. Fav. Partner in KH? (includes both KH1 and KH2) you don’t get partners in khx but skuld and ephemera are Good

SECTION TWO

17. Do you believe in the Xemnas/Saix theory? whats this theory? I mean Isa got the short stick when xemnas norted him so I don’t really think there’s too much of a choice going on here. anyways xemnas give me back my BOY

18. Do you believe that Zexion is emo? no he’s just a backhanded sneaky little shit who gets screwed over which isnt exactly fair, but not unfair either. I still like him though

19. Do you believe that Marluxia is gay? well personally, i think- oh hey look a butterfly

20. Do you believe that Kairi is the most annoying character in KH? Have you forgotten about the fact that you couldn’t skip cutscenes I think we can forget about characters

SECTION Three

21. If Roxas had to choose either Naminé or Olette, who would you root for? Why? like as a date??? um, olette. why not. go for it my dude.

22. What’s your theory on “Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep?” ITS THE ONLY ONE I’VE PLAYED…. IT’S GOOD SO FAR… TERRA’S GONNA PUNCH SOME THINGS… YEAH

23. Was Chain of Memories a waste of time? I don’t think so? I feel like the plot was kinda shoehorned in but then that means all of KH2 was also shoehorned in so eh

24. If you had the choice of meeting ONE (and ONLY ONE!) KH character, who would it be? Um Terra because I need to tell him I believe in him also he’s so strong and I desperately need a hug. Also to buy him new pants

25. Which KH character do you relate to the most? Why? it’s weird to say but honestly even/by extension vexen?? Like i’m a social disaster and I like science and i have a large fear of being abandoned/forgotten/dismissed and i really really suck at communicating also I’m apparently team mom for most of my friends and i like doing nerd things alone by myself and i just really feel for what vexen has to deal with when he knows that he’s just there to do a single job and he’s disposable and nobody really cares too much for him as a person even if he does also i’d like to not die by rapid combustion/explosion so we both have that in common too ha ha

26. What’s the most embarrassing moment that ever happened to you that had something to do with KH? IRL PEOPLE FINDING MY INTERNET ACCOUNTS IS DEEPLY LINKED TO THE FEAR THAT THEY WILL REALIZE THAT I AM A GAMER GIRL- THE ACTUAL GAMES

27. Have you ever cosplayed as a KH character? If so, who? If not, who would you like to cosplay as? I WANT TO COSPLAY STUFF SO MUCH!!!!! i don’t really know who i’d do though... maybe xion?? I don’t fit anyone very well lmao (i do want to cosplay the two versions of shiki from TWEWY with a friend if that counts)

28. The Funniest Moment in all of KH would be…? sora getting punched in the face in cutscenes

29. The Hardest Enemy/Boss was…? I haven’t fought too many bosses (see: I havent played) but vanitas is gonna be a doozy probably (unless i’m 20 levels overleveled, like now)

30. What was a good addition in KH2 that made it oh-so-addictive? I don’t know what normal KH2 is like but I like the game a ton

SECTION THREE: Decisions, Decisions…Only One…

31. Hayner or Pence? hayner!!! good boy

32. Zexion or Marluxia? zexion. which is funny bc i’ve done marluxia in a finished art project but never zexion... hm.

33. Riku or Roxas? BOTH OF THEM DESERVED BETTER but if i had to pick one.... riku

34. Roxas or Sora? roxas! sora’s a good boy though

35. Axel or Demyx? DEMYX, THE BEST WATER MUSIC MAGIC BOY!!!! LOVE

36. Kairi or Larxene? mmmmMMMM Larxene bc she honestly has more screentime than kairi also she’s just so fiece and mm!!!

37. AkuRoku or SoRiku? *stares, for a long time, at the first one* soriku

38. Namixas or Namiku? Namiku! I think it’d be cute over the course of the year between CoM/KHII

39. Zemyx or AkuRoku? *stares, for a long time, at the second one* Zemyx

40. SoKai or SoRiku? SoRiKai, screw you

41. Sea Salt Ice Cream or Paopu Fruit? Sea salt ice cream! I feel like paopu fruits are really sugary and I like slightly tarter fruits

42. Cloud or Leon? Mmmmmmm Leon

43. CloTi or Clerith? cloud n tifa or cloud n aerith? clerith then

44. Simple and Clean or Passion? PASSIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

SECTION FOUR

45. List all the KH characters you’ve fallen for. (This includes Final Fantasy characters as well) like, i’d want a nice date with? demyx (my boyyyyyy), ienzo/zexion, Isa’s cute, terra’s HOT (but a dork), but like lets be honest I’d rather be friends with everyone since i’m a nervous wreck

46. What crossovers would you like to see with KH? give me the princess and the frog... it’ll be such a nice culture....and moana.... looking forward to rapunzel and big hero six.... really like to NOT see frozen..... 

47. Does anyone in KH look like another character? List ‘em all! too bad you cant make npcs in stardew valley date each other *small tear*

are you seeing this shit i refuse to believe this was an accident the creator of stardew valley is a 1000000% confirmed KH fan and probably ships zemyx

It’s actually great bc demyx’s counterpart is a guitar music boy as well as a total dork (i love him... so much......) and zexion’s counterpart is an actual emo kid who plays dnd and codes stuff in his basement and likes cool rocks (also love) also his dad is a scientist and his mom is a carpenter so that’s aeleus and even and his sister is kairi now can i interest you in my AU

48. Which new KH game can you absolutely NOT wait for? 3′s the only one coming out? but I’m looking forward to finishing BBS so I can start watching DDD

49. Do you like KH1 or KH2 better? Why? *jazz hands* i have no idea since i’ve played neither, but KH2 lets you see the emo squad so that probably 50. LAST QUESTION! What makes Kingdom Hearts one of the best games in the world!? not the plot, that’s for sure. Probably the characters and just the concept of the entire world, and the worldbuilding behind it! Like I’d love to be in a world with magic and giant keys and stuff. Definitely the worldbuilding

i dunno who to tag! um, @fang11803​ @zexio-n​ @soramizuhara​ (hi!!! you’re new) and whoever else that follows me that likes KH, since i honestly don’t know