#she’s admitting that she has made the connection herself - that she feels the same way about cardan

[lilpomelito]

Steve and Robin go out to a gay club in Indy one night and Robin ends up pissed off because even if she did make a couple of friends and connections with the local scene she didn't have as much luck as Steve who made out with like 5 dudes in a row. How come they're going to the gay places and her straight friend still has more game than her?! Turns out maybe not so much, since Steve spends the monday shift at family video talking how much he enjoyed kissing guys and how hot it got him and how it didn't feel like a performance—which Robin can relate to that part—so maybe it's time to keep experimenting? Robin thinks he might be going a little fast but Steve is determined so he asks if he should ask Eddie if he's down to hooking up so he can try having sex with a guy which sends Robin into another spiral because whoa, since when are you aware that Eddie's gay? (And shit, if she said it out loud to Steve does that count as outing Eddie?!) Steve says he just knows, the same way he knows that Vicky is into boobies (ugh, not this again!) and anyway there's no harm in asking. Robin's mind is blown when Steve literally picks up the phone and calls Eddie if he's down to fuck that night at his place. She's not surprised Eddie agrees. He might be even more of a masochist than Robin herself, really. Which leads to a very interesting night where Robin spends hours trying to concentrate on her stupid homework and not think about how her best friend, her soulmate, the light of her life, is right now having gay sex literally days after finding out "kissing guys is cool actually," when it took her years to admit to herself that she was into girls. And it's even more mortifying when a little after midnight Steve calls her—of course he does—and informs her that sex with men is actually so much better than sex with girls, for him at least, he just had the best orgasm of his life (good for him) and inform her that he now has a boyfriend. Honestly, what did Robin expect. Good for Steve and his simple, honest heart.

[milfsloverblog]

Secret Benefits (part 9)

(Previous parts here)

Sugar mommy!Larissa Weems x fem!reader

N/A: Huh you’ll probably hate me after reading this chapter. Please send all complaints to my lawyer (myself, but less evil). Enjoy and don’t forget to reblog and let me know what you thought :)

The aroma of garlic and simmering herbs filled the air as you slipped on the apron Larissa had handed you. “A cooking class?” you mused, tying the strings around your waist and glancing at her with a mixture of amusement and curiosity. “I have to say, I wasn’t expecting this.”

Larissa smirked, adjusting her apron with effortless elegance. “You did say you were tired of the usual dinner dates. I thought something hands-on might be more entertaining.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “And here I was thinking you’d take me to the opera or something equally extravagant.”

“I do enjoy surprising you,” she admitted, smoothing down the front of your apron before reaching for your hand. “Besides, I rather like the idea of cooking something together. It requires teamwork.”

The instructor called for attention, launching into a demonstration on making fresh pasta. You focused on kneading the dough, your hands working through the soft mixture as Larissa stole subtle glances at you. Every now and then, her fingers would brush against yours, a gentle reminder of the connection you had built over the past two months.

Larissa maintained control in the ways you had come to cherish. When your dough wasn’t coming together properly, she stepped behind you, her hands settling over yours, guiding your movements with a quiet authority that made your breath hitch. “Like this,” she murmured against your ear, her voice low and firm. You followed her lead, pressing and folding as she directed, your body instinctively responding to her presence.

As you shaped the pasta, she remained close, ensuring you executed each step properly. When the instructor walked by and complimented your technique, Larissa gave you an approving nod, as if the praise was hers to grant. It sent a familiar warmth through you, a mixture of pride and something deeper, something that kept you tethered to her.

When it came time to cook the pasta, she didn’t hesitate to take control of the process, ensuring everything was done to her exact standards. She plated both portions herself, serving yours with an air of quiet satisfaction. “Taste,” she instructed, offering you a fork.

You obeyed, savouring the bite as her gaze lingered on you. “Delicious,” you murmured, though you weren’t entirely sure whether you were referring to the meal or the way she was looking at you.

Later that night, as you curled up on the couch in Larissa’s quarters, she received a message that made her posture stiffen ever so slightly. You raised an eyebrow, setting down your wine glass. “Bad news?”

Larissa hesitated before exhaling softly. “Morticia Addams is back in my life.”

Your stomach tensed. “Morticia Addams. As in… your Morticia Addams?”

Her lips pressed together in a tight line. “She’s hardly mine anymore.”

“And why, exactly, is she back?”

“Her daughter, Wednesday, has enrolled at Nevermore.”

When Morticia arrived at Nevermore, she carried herself with the same effortless grace that Larissa remembered far too well. She was dressed in black silk, her dark hair cascading over her shoulders in waves, and when her gaze met Larissa’s, a slow, knowing smile curved her lips.

“Larissa,” she purred, stepping forward as if no time had passed at all. “You look radiant, as always.”

Larissa kept her expression composed, her hands clasped in front of her. “Morticia. It’s been a long time.”

“Far too long,” Morticia agreed, her gaze sweeping over Larissa in quiet appraisal. “I must say, it feels almost poetic to be back here. Nostalgic, even.”

Larissa inclined her head. “I imagine so. Though I trust this visit is more about Wednesday than nostalgia.”

“Of course,” Morticia said lightly. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the… familiar comforts of the past.”

Larissa’s jaw tightened. “Wednesday will be in excellent hands here.”

“I have no doubt.” Morticia tilted her head, watching her carefully. “I heard something interesting, you know. A little rumour that you have someone special in your life.”

Larissa’s expression didn’t waver. “I do.”

Morticia’s smile sharpened. “How lovely. I must admit, I never imagined you settling down. It suits you.”

Larissa exhaled slowly. “Is there anything else you needed?”

Morticia chuckled, reaching out to smooth a nonexistent wrinkle from Larissa’s sleeve. “Not at the moment. But I do hope we can catch up properly some time. Perhaps over dinner?”

“I’m afraid I’ll be quite busy.”

“Shame,” Morticia murmured, her fingers lingering just a second too long. “But I suppose I’ll see you around.”

You took a slow sip of your wine, considering your next words carefully. “How did she react to seeing you again?”

Larissa’s gaze flickered away. “She was… familiar. As she always is. But when she learned I had a partner, she became rather insistent on reminiscing about old times.”

You set your glass down, tilting your head. “How insistent?”

A pause. “Flirtatious.”

Your fingers curled against the cushion beneath you. You had never met Morticia, but you knew of her. The way Larissa had once loved her. The way she had never quite spoken of what had been left unresolved between them.

“And does she know about me?”

“She knows I have someone.” A shadow of something unreadable passed over Larissa’s expression. “She doesn’t know how young you are.”

Your lips quirked, though there was little humour in it. “Do you think that would make a difference?”

Larissa sighed, reaching for your hand. “I think it might only encourage her.”

A sharp sting of irritation settled in your chest. “That’s not exactly comforting.”

“She doesn’t matter,” Larissa said firmly. “You know that, don’t you?”

But the uncertainty gnawed at you. Because Morticia was beautiful, poised, and had a history with Larissa that you couldn’t compete with.

Before you could say anything else, Larissa’s phone buzzed again. She sighed, picking it up—and you watched as her expression shifted ever so slightly.

“Is that her?” you asked.

Larissa hesitated before nodding. “Yes. She says Wednesday is adjusting well.”

You leaned forward. “And?”

Larissa hesitated again. “She invited me to dinner.”

Your jaw clenched. “And what did you say?”

“I haven’t answered yet.”

Silence stretched between you, thick and unspoken. Finally, you exhaled sharply. “If you go, I want to know everything. No secrets.”

Larissa reached for you, pulling you into her warmth. “No secrets,” she promised.

But as you curled into her, the uncertainty remained, lingering in the quiet space between her heartbeat and yours.

The next Saturday night, Larissa found herself sat across from Morticia in a dimly lit, upscale restaurant. The atmosphere was intimate, the soft murmur of other patrons filling the air as the flickering candlelight cast long shadows on the table. The crisp clink of silverware on porcelain seemed too sharp in the silence that lingered between them.

Morticia, ever the picture of elegance, was dressed in a black silk dress that flowed effortlessly around her as she shifted in her seat. Her eyes were dark and calculating, and though she wasn’t actively glaring, there was a weight to her gaze—a silent challenge that Larissa could feel pressing against her chest.

The tension between them was palpable, thick with unspoken history, old feelings, and years of silence. It had been far too long since they'd last shared a space like this, and Larissa wasn’t sure whether it was the familiar ache or the unpredictability of the evening that was making her feel so unsettled.

“You look stunning, Larissa,” Morticia said, her voice low and smooth, as if they were still in the intimate world they had once shared. “You always did know how to wear power with such grace.”

Larissa gave a tight smile, sipping her wine to give herself a moment of distance. “Thank you, Morticia. It’s been a while.”

“It certainly has,” Morticia agreed, her eyes never leaving Larissa. “Too long, I think. So much time… wasted.”

Larissa’s throat tightened at the subtle implication in Morticia’s words, and she quickly took another sip of her wine. The alcohol burned down her throat, but she welcomed it—the warmth spreading through her chest was a welcome reprieve from the cold knot of nerves that had settled in her stomach.

Morticia leaned forward slightly, her voice lowering even more as if sharing a secret. “It’s strange, don’t you think? To see you so… settled, so sure of yourself. I remember a time when we used to be sure of each other.”

Larissa forced her focus on the glass in front of her, her fingers wrapped tightly around it as if it could anchor her. “I’ve always been sure of myself.”

“Mm.” Morticia’s smile was knowing, sharp. “I don’t doubt that. But you’re different now. I can see it. You’re not the same woman I once knew.”

The words hit harder than they should have. Larissa felt the edge of something, something that might have been guilt or longing or both, but she refused to let it show. She took another long sip, the liquid making her feel both warmer and more exposed.

“I’m still the same person,” Larissa said, trying to keep her voice steady, though there was a crack in it that she couldn’t quite cover.

“I’m sure you are,” Morticia replied, leaning back in her chair, a glint of amusement in her eyes. “But I wonder, Larissa, do you still remember all the little things we used to do? The late-night conversations, the way we’d talk about everything and nothing all at once.”

Larissa froze, her hand momentarily tightening around her glass, her mind flashing back to those nights—those endless hours when everything felt easy, when she’d lost herself in Morticia’s laughter and their shared secrets. But that had been so long ago, before the distance had formed between them.

“It’s been a long time,” Larissa said softly, her voice almost too quiet.

Morticia’s smile deepened, and she tilted her head, as though studying Larissa with the same intensity she always had. “It’s funny, isn’t it? How time can change everything… and nothing at all. The way we can slip back into old rhythms, as if no time has passed.”

Larissa looked at Morticia, her breath catching for just a moment. She didn’t know what was happening, but something—something about the way Morticia was looking at her—was stirring old feelings she had tried to bury. The air around them felt thicker now, charged with something Larissa wasn’t sure she was ready to face.

She could feel the warmth of the wine spreading through her, blurring her thoughts as she took another long drink. The words felt like they were slipping past her, too heavy to hold onto. She was losing control—losing her grip on the composed exterior she worked so hard to maintain. And Morticia knew it.

“Larissa…” Morticia’s voice was a velvet whisper now, one that tugged at the edges of her consciousness. “Do you ever wonder what could have been? I know I do.”

Larissa’s heart skipped a beat, and for a second, she was back in that place where everything had once felt so effortless between them. Morticia’s fingers brushed against the stem of her wine glass, just shy of touching her hand, but it was enough to make Larissa’s pulse quicken.

Her breath was shallow, her thoughts clouded by the alcohol, by the proximity. She could feel Morticia’s presence like a weight pressing down on her, heavy and demanding. It was the same pull she’d always felt—a gravitational force she couldn’t escape.

And without thinking, without really understanding what she was doing, Larissa took another drink, almost too fast this time. The burn of the wine felt sharper, more intense, as it slid down her throat, and it was only then that she realized she was already tipsy, her nerves disjointed in a way they hadn’t been in years.

Morticia’s eyes flickered, and Larissa could feel the moment shift. There was something different in the way Morticia was looking at her now—something more predatory, more deliberate.

“You know,” Morticia said, her voice barely a whisper as she leaned even closer, “I’ve always wondered what it would be like if we gave in to the tension between us. If we just let go and did what we always wanted.”

Larissa felt the heat rise in her cheeks, her heart pounding in her chest. But the words were already slipping from her lips before she could stop them. “We can’t. It’s not… I can’t…”

But Morticia’s lips were already close to hers, her breath warm against Larissa’s skin. The air seemed to crackle between them, and in that moment, nothing else mattered.

Larissa didn’t realize what was happening until it was already too late. She was kissing Morticia, her mind too foggy to process it, too drunk on the wine and the years of unresolved tension to stop. The kiss was slow at first, tentative, as if neither of them wanted to admit what was happening. But soon, the pressure grew, and Larissa found herself caught up in it, her heart racing faster, her pulse louder in her ears.

When they finally pulled away, Larissa’s breath was shaky, her head spinning from the wine and the kiss and the way Morticia was still looking at her—like she had won something, like she had always known this moment would come.

Larissa blinked, trying to make sense of the whirlwind inside her chest. “What… what did we just do?”

Morticia’s smile was soft, almost affectionate, but there was a sharpness behind it that Larissa couldn’t ignore. “We did what we’ve always wanted to do,” Morticia murmured, her fingers lightly grazing the side of Larissa’s face. “And now, Larissa, you have a choice. What happens next is up to you.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and unresolved, as Larissa sat frozen in the moment, her mind racing to catch up with the sudden reality that had just crashed into her.

And as the evening wore on, the uncertainty lingered in the space between them, even as they finished their dinner in silence.

Larissa opened the door to her quarters, the familiar warmth of the space immediately enveloping her. Her heels clicked softly against the polished floor as she stepped inside, and her eyes quickly scanned the room, landing on you sitting on the couch. You were curled up in one of her oversized blankets, a book in your lap, but you looked up when you heard the door close behind her.

You gave her a soft, knowing smile, but there was an undercurrent of something you couldn’t quite place, a tension in the air that wasn’t there before.

“How was dinner?” you asked, trying to sound casual, though you couldn’t hide the slight edge to your voice.

Larissa paused, her coat still draped over her arm as she stood in the doorway, seemingly caught off guard by the question. She was suddenly aware of the quiet hum of discomfort between you two.

“It was fine,” she replied, her tone carefully neutral, though her voice carried a hint of something unspoken. She shrugged off her coat, folding it with deliberate care as she crossed the room toward you. “Business, more than anything.”

You tilted your head, eyes narrowing slightly as you watched her movements. “Business with Morticia Addams, right?”

Larissa’s breath hitched for a fraction of a second, but you were watching her closely enough to catch it. She didn’t let the moment linger, however, quickly smoothing over the brief hesitation with a cool smile. “Yes. She’s here because of Wednesday, you know that already.”

You sat up a little straighter, a frown tugging at your lips. “And how is she? Morticia, I mean. How did she react when she saw you again?”

There was a long pause, and Larissa finally sat beside you, her gaze distant as she smoothed a hand through her hair, a nervous habit you’d come to notice in her when she was sorting through something complicated. “She’s the same as always,” Larissa said finally, her tone clipped. “Graceful, poised... she knows how to make an entrance, as you’d expect.”

You studied her face, sensing that there was more she wasn’t telling you, but you didn’t press further just yet. “And was she...?” You let the question hang in the air, not needing to finish it for Larissa to know exactly what you meant.

Larissa hesitated, her fingers tapping absently on the edge of the blanket you were wrapped in. “She was... familiar,” she said carefully, as if choosing each word with caution. “And it seems like some things haven’t changed.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean by that?”

Larissa’s expression flickered briefly with something unreadable, but she quickly masked it with a tight smile. “She’s still the same, just more... insistent. In her own way.”

You swallowed hard, the thought of Morticia pressing into Larissa’s life again stoking a mixture of unease and jealousy that you didn’t want to admit even to yourself. “Insistent, how?”

Larissa sighed, leaning back into the cushions as she closed her eyes for a moment, her posture stiff. “She’s always been good at making things complicated. But that’s all it is. Complicated.” Her voice softened toward the end, almost as though she were reassuring herself more than you.

You wanted to believe her, wanted to trust in the steadiness of her words, but the knot of doubt in your stomach was tightening with every passing second. Morticia’s return felt like an echo of a past Larissa hadn’t fully closed, and you couldn’t help but feel like a part of her still lingered there, in that space between them that you couldn’t even touch.

Still, you nodded, trying to push down the uncertainty. “So, no more dinners with her, then?”

Larissa chuckled softly, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “No more dinners. Not unless it’s strictly necessary.”

The tension between you both hung heavy, unspoken, yet undeniable. You leaned your head on her shoulder, a quiet surrender to the comfort of her presence, though you knew that something had shifted—something between you, and something between her and Morticia that was too fragile to ignore.

As the silence stretched on, you closed your eyes, letting the soft rhythm of Larissa’s breathing settle you, unaware of how deep her past with Morticia would bleed into your present together.

————————————————————————

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[yeonmuse]

ᥫ᭡ f!reader x lee heeseung ── 𝒢enre. Uni au. fluff, non idol enha. feats. ot7 [reqs are closed] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary 🪷

⍣ ೋ AUTHORS NOTES . This is part of admins Enhypen University Special Event. This series also has slight connections to every series in said event so occasionally characters from the other members chapters may appear in this series as well. (Completely rewritten)

˗ˏˋSUMMARY ´ˎ˗ Heeseung finds himself completely captivated by the campus golden girl. Perfect grades, absolute sweetheart, breathtakingly beautiful and the lead girl in every show the theater has put on thus far. Though just what he finds that he’s getting closer to her through her love of theater and performance arts, old flames and childhood friends make it harder for Heeseung to get closer to her.

TAGLIST IS CLOSED

CURTAIN CALL

As everyone said their farewells and the audience bid the cast a final round of applause Curtain call had now dawned. It was the end of their first showcase and as always Sakoia breezed through every line effortlessly, Heeseung following her lead as if it was something he had done millions of times with her. Their chemistry seeped through the seams with every scene the two had with one another ultimately immersing everyone in the audience within their world. By the times the curtains fell signaling the end of the showcase their friends had already gathered outside the auditorium waiting to congratulate and praise them for their performance in tonight's showcase.

“Not to bad for your opening night.’’ Sakoia remarks as she and Heesung are finally left alone together backstage.

“I had the perfect partner, she just made it really easy.’’ he retorts playfully, earning a giggle from her as she went to wrap her arms around his neck and his arms instinctively met her waist.

‘“Thank you, for earlier if you hadn’t found me and talked sense into me tonight could have ended really differently.’’

“Mm I mean if you really want to thank me I have a few ways you could show you appreciation.’’ He responds cheekily, making her expression contort into one of amusement.

“Yeah and what is that?’’

“Well for starters.’’ Heeseung wastes no time, his hand resting on her cheek, fingers tangling within her loose locks as he pulls her in for a kiss, their lips molding together like they had been sculpted for one another.

There they were again those butterflies she’d continued to feel in her stomach since the moment she’d finally admitted to herself that she truly did like him. He had a way of always making her feel a consuming amount of love and admiration for him and the feeling always left her at a loss for words.

“I’ve been wanting to do that this entire night.’’

“Yeah? Anything else have you’ve been wanting to do this entire night.’’ A silent head tilt, an action that meant so little yet did so much at the same time. If he’d truly told her all of the things that’d swarm his mind when he thought of her – his beautiful girlfriend, the heavens would turn him away.

“Now we’re getting into dangerous territory with this question.’’

“Mm so you aren’t going to tell me.’’ her fingers tangled into his hair, the loving gaze and tone switch in her voice a clear indication that she knew she had him completely wrapped around her finger now.

“Not unless you want to miss out on that dinner with our friends tonight.’’ he traces loving circle on the arch of her back, a subtle indication of what Heeseungs words suggests.

“Fine, but I look forward to hearing it all after dinner.’’ she gazes up at him, batting her eyelashes as she awaits his response. He stood there for a moment just taking her in and adoring her – the girl he had admired from afar for months without end was now actually his.

“Whatever you want, id tell you every secret of the world if you asked.’’ he responds, earning a loving smile from her.

“Mm we should get changed then, before they shut off all the lights and we get locked in here.’’

“I don’t know I don’t mind being alone with you for a couple of hours.’’ His playful response, makes her roll her eyes, an evident smile on her lips.

“Let’s go lee heesung.’’ Heeesung just chuckles as he watches her walk away, the two of them going off to their respective dressing rooms to get changed out of their costumes.

When they’d finally changed and exited the auditorium they were met with an earful of complaints about the two of them having taken too long. Sakoia also got completely fearful about having run off and scared everyone during the show. After apologizing over and over, the entire group spent almost half an hour going back and forth about where they all should eat to celebrate a successful showcase. They eventually settled on going to moonstruck, the restaurant that had now become a monumental place for most of them.

When the group arrived Taehyun was more than happy to see all of them, after all they were some of his favorite customers and a lot of them would come there often on free days or just days where they had to lock in and study. Though this was the first time that every one of them had gathered under one roof, with the inclusion Sakoias friends that had now become Heesungs. To Sakoia it almost felt surreal, that so much could change within a time span of two months. Newfound friends and a boyfriend that looked at her as if she were the stars in the sky. Before meeting Heeseung she’d only had one goal set for herself and that was to make her mother realize what she had decided to leave behind. She’d rarely live for herself, having lost herself in rehearsals and overbearing studies. Then came Heeseung and his friends, making her realize all the things about herself that she had neglected.

She wasn’t entirely sure where her career or life beyond the university would go, but she knew one thing for sure, and that was the people she had in her life now she wanted them to stay. The hole left behind by her mothers absence was so full when she was around them, the people that she now considered as her family.

“What are you thinking about.’’ Heesung seems to catch her as she’s deep in thought, having been watching the last two months fly by in the memories of her mind.

“You.’’ she responds by tangling her fingers with his watching as he brings them too his lips and presses a kiss on each knuckle.

“Good things?’’

“Mmm, Great things.’’ for a moment her eyes searched his, finding in them only love and complete adoration for the girl before him.

“I don’t know what happens after this all and It’s too early to say I love you, too soon to speak words of undying devotion so instead. I’ll say I really like you Heeseung, I want this to last with you. For us to last..until the curtains close, the final show.’’ Heesungs eyes met hers and it was as if the two of them were in their own little world completely having forgotten about their friends that surrounded them.

“Since we’re being cheesy tonight.” He chuckles, his gaze locked to hers as he spoke. “I’m yours, for as long as you want me. As long as you need me. Until curtain call.’’ he responds, his thumb lovingly rubbing circles on her knuckles.

“Oh brother, here they go being all lovey dovey, now these motherfuckers are speaking in theater terms.’’ Niki chimes in from the side of the table breaking up the endearing moment between the two.

“You’re such a hater this is exactly why you’re single.’’ Yuan and Chaewon both chime in, in her and Heeseungs, an act that the group had now gotten used to since all of them had started hanging out together.

Resting her head on Heeseungs shoulder Sakoia simply just listened to the three of them going back and forth, somehow finding peace in their banter. These were her people, no matter how chaotic or overbearing they could be they’d forever be the cast that made every scene in her life worth living.

CHAPTERLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTER | ENHA UNI MASTERLIST

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ADDITIONAL AUTHORS NOTES : within closing this series I simply want to say thank you to everyone that has read up into this point, three smaus are simply meant to be silly little series and I hope that eventually within finish the Enhypen university event I’ll be able to showcase some more serious aspects of my writing. Starting with finishing Decelis Academy

[vaguely-concerned]

...the 'almond room' thing in the unwanted guest IS a reference to/play on words on amygdala, right? (amygdala comes from the greek word for almond!) I didn't read that wrong? it is stupid sexy Ianthe coyly inviting Palamedes into a different chamber of her brain, as it were?

(also the pieces of meat -- the feeding or kissing, it's hard to say which of it all -- being present right from the beginning... ianthe DOES know exactly what has happened to her, doesn't she. palamedes is just cutting his way through her layers of denial and repression all merciless and scalpel-like to get her to admit it. or, she knows subconsciously at least -- each person comes in and feeds her something that she's helpless to stop from becoming a part of her even in her coffin, with bloody kisses. oh baby love is feeding me bad meat and I have no choice but to swallow it down. like yeah I suspect that is how human contact can feel when your sense of self and boundaries developed to be a specific kind of Fucked Up lol. that shit could make a person dream of being a diamond in a glass of wine; perfect, inviolable, untouchable, eternally separate and safe. In the words of Andrea Gibson in Prism:

They say the womb is where we learn love is knowing the cord that feeds you could at any moment wrap around your neck

that is quite literally ianthe's first introduction to love -- her sister, a cord around her neck. Corona is Ianthe's other self, a second soul running around outside of her body, and she seems to consider herself as responsible for (and entitled to) the preservation of Corona's soul as her own. the way this mirrors that growing up, Ianthe had to be two necromancers in one body to let them stay together. (twins and ghosts all the way down I guess.) she's still just trying to do the same thing, I think, she's simply put on some bigger boots about it. the central problem of lyctorhood, self vs. connection/love, rears its head once again -- Ianthe existentially wants total self-contained self-sufficiency, perfect control, sovereign sway and masterdom over her soul... but she wants that at the same time as being in uninterrupted (uninterruptible!), eternal and indelible intimacy with her sister, whose soul also cannot be allowed to change. which, you know. freedom and love don't coexist the way you want them to, Ianthe, no matter how clever you are there won't be a way to get what you want. (especially not with a sister whose idea of what love is seems to go more towards being consumed, made one, by whatever violence necessary -- 'she could have taken me'.) man. Ianthe is a spectacular and ongoing piece of work, but sometimes it's hard to see how she could ever have turned out otherwise considering the conditions she was born and raised under haha.

the two-way street of the horror of digestion, whether you're the devourer or the devouree. part of you in me, part of me in you, whether either of us likes it or not we're both changed by this. bad news: you can't get out of interconnectedness by finding the cleverest loophole around it, ianthe. nice try, though)

[fructosetolerant]

Showdown in Chinatown Review 🎥

I just finished R1999's 2.5 patch yesterday, I wrote a review of it on my privtwt but the character limit of Twitter is seriously unbearable so I'm taking my reviews to Tumblr (⁠ب⁠_⁠ب⁠)

⚠️ THIS IS ONLY THE EVENT STORY no character stories yet because I want to review them seperately also SPOILERS AHEAD!! ⚠️

Favourite Character: Liang Yue

She's the limited character of this patch so I will admit there is some bias, but it's very little since I also love Noire loads. I really loved her character in the story: how she has the heavy expectations from her parents, her love for films, and how she was able to distinguish fiction from reality.

Favourite Moment: Liang Yue's flashback to the first time she watched a C07 movie as the CG shows her child self sitting at the bench, then shows her current self sitting at the same bench as she has never forgotten Qi Xing's words from that interview.

Favourite OST: Originally it was the EP Rock Solid but I'm currently listening to The Truth Will Come as I'm writing this.

Favourite NPC: Poitier / Constance Scott (I CAN EXPLAIN MYSELF FOR SCOTT)

Let's first clear my name. Scott was someone who parallels Liang Yue in the sense that they have expectations placed onto them, it's just that Scott's one is in the negatives. (Now that I think about it Maltida makes sense too) She was raised in an environment where her mother didn't really acknowledge her and always looked down on her so when she meets Latham/Loggerhead she looks down upon her so that she can feel superior in something. She wasn't cold or calculating, she was lashing out. Go forth inferiority complex.

Liang Yue Family expectations: You must fulfill your duty as the Zhenzi of Qiangliang. Liang Yue feels this duty yet also feels like she doesn't live up to it. (Like how she sees Qiangliang responding to her call as a coincidence)

Maltida Bouanich Family expectations: Beryl Bouanich don't care 😭😭😭😭. Yet Maltida wants to be the best (fostered positively)

Constance Scott Family Expectations: You are nothing... Scott wants to prove herself (fostered negatively) (self fulfilling prophecy)

I get where Scott is coming from and yes I do very much hate her, yet I understand her. She shouldn't have treated Loggerhead like that. That was foul.

Main Themes

The main themes, from what I could gather are:

Diaspora (shown in the earlier chapters)

Liang Yue and Noire are both characters that show this (while they haven't moved there we see cultural clashes, familial expectations, and connections with the community in Chinatown). I do wish this was further explored seeing the strong start from the beginning but I do hope and think we'll get more patches with this theme in the future.

The roles people play / peeling off to appreciate one's individuality

Double entendre with the roles in a movie, the role of the Zhenzi, etc. As someone who has experienced some form of parasociality from my YT channel (I'd like to keep it a secret but it's pretty obvious), I think that this is conveyed well as Liang Yue peels back the layers with sense. Going in blindly will create problems for both sides and I'm glad that this was tackled so well as coming to embrace someone's individuality is beautiful, like Noire says.

How fiction affects reality

The line between C07 and Qi Xing was blurred for the actress. How C07 inspired conviction in Liang Yue. I love it as it reminds me of when I watched Youzitsu and felt so inspired I put my life together for a few months.

Identity (We're Reverse: 1999 guys of course we have identity)

This is a really bad transition but this is my blog we BALL!! But I need to write an apology letter to Noire because for the whole time I thought she was based of off Wong Kar Wai (I love In the Mood for Love it's the only film I've watched from him but well I made this blog for a reason it's time to consume media) because her name was Noire like Noir films. But she makes action films oh I'm stupid (⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠)

I really love how Noire is written: how she is passionately in pursuit of the better film, how she shows that deep down creators will always want to create, and especially how reckless she was in the past. I was like Noire in the past as well, reckless and selfish, and honestly a jerk but I've learnt from those mistakes. It takes a team to create something better as we are limited to our own brains when we think alone.

⭐ AFFLATUS TALK 🌱

Liang Yue: Star

The aspiration to be a hero that brings happy endings to everyone, the desire to prove herself. The star that she saw that day was in the Detective C07 films.

Noire: Plant

The care for her set (environment). I don't really see anything else other than that. I also think maybe it's because they wouldn't want to release too many star afflatus characters (including Barcarola from last patch as well) but I think that plant is very fitting for her. Like I see the vision y'know.

I'm out of things to yap about now but if you read this all thank you so much 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ I hope to remember to write the next review. I'm always open for discussion, thank you again!

[g-hughes]

Let’s talk Nico Hischier in the form of a request shall we? "I just want you to be happy! And perhaps a little bit naked."

The Girl from Across the Hall - N. Hischier

masterlist || g's graduation celly

synopsis: Ever since he moved in, Nico has had a crush on his neighbor, but she doesn't feel the same way. . . or does she?

word count: 3.0k

warnings: idiots to lovers, mentions of hookups/sex, cursing, drinking

Nico had a crush. 

At age 25, Nico Hischier, captain of the New Jersey Devils, had a crush on his best friend. 

It wasn’t like Nico planned on falling in love with his best friend, it just kind of happened. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but it did, and there was nothing that he could do about it. 

Nico could remember the day he met her like it was yesterday. He had just been drafted by the Devils, and was moving into his apartment, by himself in Jersey City. He wouldn’t ever admit it out loud, but he was terrified; being in a new country, a new city, about to embark on a brand new journey in his life. Nico thought he was doing a good job at hiding his nerves, but apparently, he was not. 

On the second week of being on his own, Nico had ventured out to get some basic things for his apartment that his mother hadn’t already supplied him with. He was thankful that his parents had flown across the ocean to help him move in. He hadn’t ever lived on his own before, and found himself calling his parents almost every single day. Nico had gotten by for two weeks with the basic supplies and amenities he had, but he wanted to get some more things like a blender and a waffle iron, and maybe some decorative pillows. 

But Nico was a lot like his mother, and ended up buying a lot more than what he had wanted to get. With his arms full of shopping bags, Nico made the trek up to his tenth floor apartment, breaking a sweat by the time he got to his front door. He grunted as he shifted the bags around, trying to grab his keys out. 

“C’mon,” He said to himself, trying to adjust his keys in his hands, his arms beginning to hurt from the bags cutting off circulation, “Fuck! Fuck!” He cursed as his keys clattered to the ground, “Fuck!” 

“You okay?” A gorgeous girl in a pair of shorts and a tank top stood in her doorway, a confused look on her face. 

Nico sighed, and looked down at his keys, “Yeah.” 

“You sure?” She asked and Nico shook his head. 

“I dropped my keys,” He said in defeat. 

“I see,” She said, stepping out of the door, “You just move in?” He nodded, and she bent down to grab his keys, easily finding the one to the door, “I’m Y/N,” She introduced herself, putting the key in the lock, and turning it, “My sister and I live across the hall.” 

“Nico,” He said, and she pushed the front door open, “Thank you.” 

“No problem,” She nodded, “But you know. . . the doors have their own key fob you could’ve used. Hell of a lot easier than fiddling with a key,” Nico’s jaw dropped dumbfoundedly, as he watched Y/N skip back across the hall, “Nice to meet you, Nico!” 

And now, nearly 7 years later, Nico lived in the same apartment with Y/N still across the hall. Though things had changed over the years, such as Y/N’s sister moving out and Nico becoming the captain of the devils, their friendship never changed. They got closer as the years went on, both of them being the same age, having some of the same interests. But Nico was drawn to her personality; confident, sassy, smart, a beautiful person both inside and out, but also a bit intimidating. Nico had witnessed her first hand hold her ground against pissed off hockey fans, and dudes who think they are entitled to get something after a first date. 

And maybe that was why Nico was afraid to tell her how he felt. Or maybe it was because he didn’t want to lose her as a friend. Y/N had been one of the first people he had connected with when he moved to Jersey. She was there through it all, his tough rookie season, bad losses, exciting wins, being named captain, a run in the play-offs, a miserable season following. She was his person, his best friend. And he was going to be damned if he did anything to mess with that. 

So Nico kept his feelings a secret, and kept on playing the dutiful best friend role that he had been playing for the past 7 years. Even when all he could do was sit on a barstool and watch as she danced with some random guy at the bar. 

“You know,” Jack said, sitting down next to Nico, “This is getting pathetic.” 

“What is?” Nico asked, looking at his alternate captain. 

“You,” Jack said, honestly and the Swiss man furrowed his eyebrows, “And her,” Jack then pointed to where Y/N was, her back pressed against some guy as they swayed to the music. 

“She’s having fun,” Nico shrugged, “And I’m making sure he doesn’t disrespect her.” 

“Oh you are such a hero, Nico! A stand up guy! Oh please have my babies!” Jack feigned, batting his eyelashes in an exaggerated move, “You’re making me sad! It’s a bar! We just clinched a playoff spot! And you’re making me sad!” 

“Then don’t look at me,” Nico sassed back. He grabbed his beer and took a hefty sip, before looking back at the dancefloor where Y/N was still with that guy. She was facing him now, whispering something in his ear, as his hands sat dangerously low on her hips. Maybe they were discussing going home with each other. It wouldn’t have been the first time that Nico spotted her coming home with a guy or watching a guy leave out her front door. It broke his heart every single time, but he would never tell her that. 

“Look,” Jack said, sitting his beer down, “I am just looking out for you, okay. It is painfully obvious that you have a thing for Y/N, and it’s kind of obvious that she doesn’t feel the same. I don’t want to see you get hurt. And I feel like that's where this is heading.” 

Nico sighed, hanging his head, “So what do I do?” He asked honestly. 

“You find yourself a hottie, take her home, and bang her,” Jack said as if it was the simplest thing in the world, “Hey, I know that you haven’t had your dick in something other than your hand since you broke up with Macy eight months ago.” 

Jack was right, Nico hadn’t been intimate with anyone since his ex. Macy was a great girl, fantastic even. She never got mad or upset about him always being going or putting most of his focus on hockey and the team. The only issue was, she wasn’t Y/N. Nico hated that every time he kissed Macy or touched her, he would imagine she was Y/N. When Nico broke up with Macy, she wasn’t mad, and it was almost as if she expected it. She even told him that she knew his heart wasn’t completely in it, and that it belonged to someone else. 

“I don’t do one night stands,” Nico said. 

“How do you know? Ever had one?” 

Nico was silent for a moment, “No.” 

“Then?” Jack encouraged, “Just get it out of your system.” 

Nico pondered it for a moment, looking around the bar. It was packed, girls in scantily dressed clothing, and men with fake designer clothing on. The loud music felt like a second heartbeat in Nico’s chest, and the air was thick with sweat. 

“Her,” Jack said, pulling Nico’s attention, and pointing to a girl on the other side of the bar, “She’s just your type, she looks like Y/N.” Nico hated to admit it, but the girl on the other side of the bar did look a lot like Y/N. A tall-ish build, with beautiful curves and a bright smile. However this girl had a certain aura about her, as if she was commanding all eyes to be on here, where for Y/N, all the eyes in the room naturally followed her. 

“I’ll be back,” Nico said, chugging down the rest of his beer before going to the girl. 

It was about five minutes later that Y/N came bouncing up to the bar, out of breath, and in dire need of a drink. She loved going to bars and clubs like this. She loved feeling the bass in her bones, the bright lights robbing her of her site, the layer of sweat on her body. She knew that Nico hated it, but would grin and bear it just for her, he hated her going to these places alone. But the Devils were in the playoffs and so coming to the club was a must for celebration. 

“How ya been, Dancin’ Queen?” Jack greeted her. 

“Dying of thirst!” Y/N answered back, draping an arm around his shoulders. He held up his beer in offering and she shook her head, “Water, please. I don’t like drinking alcohol at the club.”

“You’re so weird,” Jack shook his head, but knew her reasoning. Y/N only liked to drink in a ‘controlled environment’ as she would call it, the comfort of her apartment or Nico’s or Jack’s, or anywhere that wasn’t in public. She was just naturally a ball of fun at the club, sober.

 Jack waved down the bartender and asked for a glass of water, which Y/N thanked him for. The cool liquid felt amazing down her dry throat, “Where’s Nico?” 

“Overthere,” Jack smirked, nodding towards the other side of the bar. Y/N’s eyes widened as she saw her best friend, leaned up on the side of the bar talking to a gorgeous woman, “Where’s your date?” 

“My date?” Y/N asked, looking back at Jack. 

“Yeah,” He shrugged, “The guy you were dry humping on the dance floor.” 

“Logan?” Y/N asked again, a laugh tumbling from her lips, “He’s been my friend since elementary. He’s just here for the weekend.” 

“Mhm,” Jack nodded, rubbing his lips together. Y/N looked back over towards Nico, a weird feeling in her chest as she watched him move in closer to the girl, and brush a strand of hair behind her ear. 

Y/N swallowed down the rest of her water, “I think I’m gonna call it a night. I’ll order an uber or something.” 

Jack snapped his head towards her, “What? No? You love this club!” 

“Yeah,” She sighed in defeat, “But I’m tired and my feet hurt and the music is starting to give me a headache.” Jack looked at her incredulously. Usually Jack and Nico were dragging Y/N out of the club at the end of the night, hardly ever did she want to leave before last call. Jack looked over at Nico, and then at Y/N, realization settling on his features. 

She was jealous. 

“Are you-” 

“I’m leaving,” Y/N ordered, turning on her heel, but Jack grabbed her arm. 

“Hey,” Jack said, “One, you’re not going to get into an uber by yourself on a friday night in Jersey City. I’ve watched enough SVU to know that’s a recipe for disaster.” 

“Thanks detective Tutuola,” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, her breasts being pushed up over the top of her silver slip dress, “Are you coming then?” 

“Yes,” Jack grumbled, “Hold on.” He turned back towards where Nico was standing, waving his hand to get his friend’s attention, but Y/N was growing impatient, not wanting to stand there and watch Nico talk to some girl who was giving him ‘fuck me’ eyes. 

“Uber is two minutes out.” 

“Fuck it! I’ll just text him.” Jack groaned, slamming back the rest of his drink and getting up from his barstool, “C’mon.” He put his hand on the small of her back, leading her hastily out of the bar towards the awaiting bar.

“That’s seriously so cool!” The girl, whose name Nico learned is Megan, said, “I have only been to Switzerland once, and it was the most beautiful place I have ever been too. We went up to the mountains and ugh. . . that’s a sight I still have dreams about.” 

“Yeah it’s def-” Nico was cut off as his phone buzzed in his pocket, “Excuse me,” He blushed as he pulled his iPhone out of his pocket, seeing a message from Jack. His dark eyebrows furrowed as he read it and then looked up, seeing Jack slam his glass down and all but run out of the club, his hand on Y/N’s back. Nico looked back down at the message, anger blooming in his chest. 

‘Going home with Y/N. Don’t wait up.’ 

Nico clenched his jaw, sliding his phone back into his pocket. He huffed and turned towards Megan, “You want to get out of here?” 

Megan licked her lips and nodded, “Sure.” 

— — — 

This is what the walk of shame must’ve felt like, though she had little shame as she walked down the hallway on the tenth floor to her apartment. It was more like she didn’t want anyone to see her current state of dress, a large oversized t-shirt, a pair of men’s boxers, and white nike socks all courtesy of Jack Hughes. After they left the club, Y/N didn’t want to return to her empty apartment, instead she went back to Jack’s place, where Luke had escaped to earlier in the night. She had crashed in Jack’s bed after many more drinks and rounds of UNO. 

Now, she was making that fateful walk back home, her silver dress strewn over her arm and her heels in her other hand. Her hair was a mess of curls and hairspray, her face felt disgusting with the remnants of last night’s makeup. Y/N was almost home safe, when her neighbor opened his door, startling her. 

“Hey,” Nico said, standing shirtless in nothing but a pair of running shorts and sneakers, “You’re just getting home?” 

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, “I ended up staying at Jack’s last night after we left.” 

Nico felt his heart speed up, “Seriously?” 

“Yeah,” Y/N said again, this time shrugging, “I felt like I had been home alone so much this week with you guys gone, and didn’t really want to come back alone so I-” 

“But you weren’t alone,” Nico crossed his arms over his chest, “You had Jack.” 

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed at the shift in Nico’s tone, “But I was tired of looking at the same scenery, I need a change. What’s with the interrogation?” 

“Just didn’t know you and Jack were like that.” 

“We have been for a while,” Y/N shifted on her feet, “Usually he comes over here cause Luke is-” 

“Luke knows?” 

“He lives there,” Y/N was growing confused and a bit annoyed, “Look, it’s not that deep. I crashed at his place last night. I don’t know why I’m getting grilled like a criminal right now.” 

“Cause he’s my teammate,” Nico grumbled. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, anger, jealousy, sadness. “And we’re about to go into the playoffs and I don’t need some chick messing with his head.” 

Y/N was taken aback by Nico’s words. ‘Some chick’? Y/N wasn’t just some chick. She was Nico’s best friend, and considered an honorary WAG of the Devils organization. Everyone loved and adored her, inviting her to sit in the same section with the rest of the WAGs or on roadies or to watch parties. The coaching staff knew her on a first name basis and knew that if anything happened to Nico, she was the first person to call. Y/N L/N wasn’t just some chick. And Nico knew that. 

“Fine,” Y/N pursed her lips, “Good luck in the playoffs, Nico. I’ll leave you and the rest of your team alone.” 

“Wait, Y/N-” Nico was cut off by the loud slam of her front door and the lock turning. He groaned, cursing himself in his head as he walked up to her front door, pounding his fist against the wood. 

“Go away!” 

“No!” Nico protested, continuing his loud knocking on the door. 

Y/N rolled her eyes as she yanked the front door open, “Go away and quit knocking on my door like a lunatic!” Y/N went to slam her door in his face again, but Nico stopped it with his strong hand. She let out a huff as she turned on her heel, welcoming him into the apartment. 

“I’m sorry,” Nico said, running a hand through his hair, “You’re not just ‘some chick’. . .” He took in a deep breath, gathering up the courage, “You’re everything to me.” 

“Nico,” Y/N sighed, looking up at him from the couch. 

“Just listen,” Nico stood in front of her, “I’m in love with you. And I have been for a while. And I-I know you don’t feel the same way about me, and I’m okay with that. Well, I’m learning to be okay with that. It sucks, okay,” Nico shook his head with a self deprecating laugh, “It sucks because I just want you to be happy! And maybe a little naked with me,” His cheeks turned red and she couldn’t help but giggle, “But if that’s not what you want, then I’ll deal. I want what’s best for you and if Jack is what is best-” 

“Wait,” Y/N held her hand up, cutting Nico off in the middle of his confession, “Jack?” 

“Yeah,” Nico nodded, “You said that you guys have a-” 

“Oh my god,” Y/N couldn’t help the laughter falling from her lips. “Oh my god, Nico.” She closed the gap between them, placing her hands on his stubbled cheek, “Jack and I? We are friends. There is nothing and I mean nothing between us,” Her eyes searched his for a moment, as she drew in a breath, “I love you too. And I have for a while.” 

Nico didn’t hesitate to place his lips on hers, pulling her flush against his body. Years of pent up tension and wondering what the other was thinking washed away in an instant. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his brown hair. When the two of them pulled away for air, Y/N rested her forehead against Nico’s. 

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” She asked. 

“Me? Why didn’t you?” Nico laughed, “God, we’re dumb.” 

“Yeah,” Y/N smiled up at him, “But you love me.” 

“That I do.”

[catbread0]

Can you please do a Kon kusuriuri x immortal reader so the reader is immortal and no matter what she's dose she can't die and she promised to herself that she would never fall in love again that till she meet Kon kusuriuri and it's like love at first sight but when Kon kusuriuri confessed his feelings the reader reject it and she says she'll just out live him but then Kon kusuriuri say that he's a kitsuna which makes him immortal so the reader finally admit that she also love him and it's just a happy ending

Kon-kusuriuri x Immortal! Reader

I loved doing this request. I hope you enjoy it and it meets your expectations!Sorry for any mistakes!

(*^▽^)/♪♪♪

Words: 771

Angst, death, comfort, happy ending

Mononoke (2024) Masterlist

A Curse into a Blessing

Oh, where should you start? You don't even remember why you became an immortal.

You once had a lover in what you thought was your normal life. However, you realize they will only get older while you stay the same young adult. It was devastating to see your lover die slowly in front of you when you vowed to each other to grow old together.

You blamed yourself and the mornings that came that drew your lover further from you.

After their final breath was drawn, you vowed not to fall in love again. You couldn’t bear the thought of never being able to leave this ground and to only see your lover die slowly again. You didn't want to be broken over and over again.

Could you even say that? You were ‘blessed’ with never dying. But to you, it was a curse.

As centuries passed, you decided to walk around Japan. You were broken and broken every time you saw a lovely couple. 

Every step you take is a never-ending journey that leads you to nowhere but an abyss of darkness.

It was currently raining, and you were soaking wet. You saw an entrance and sought to get at least some shelter.

As you stepped into the entrance, you heard the sound of wooden sandals making their way to you. You looked and saw a samurai with a pink and green kamishimo approaching you. 

He yelled something to another 2 samurais, and he guided you to sit down on the edge of an engawa. The samurais came back with towels and gave them to you.

You thanked them for their gesture. As you were drying yourself, you saw another person.

You looked and made eye contact with the strange man. He had a strange kimono with different coloring and patterns, strange makeup on his face, and his hair was unnatural. You could go on but decide not to.

The strange man approached you as you dried yourself. You come to find out he's a medicine seller, but never revealed his name.

While you both talked, something in you felt strange. A feeling you haven’t felt in many years. A feeling you feared.

Love.

The day was darkening, and the medicine seller left. The kind pink and green samurai guided you to a small room that you could stay in. You were grateful that you could sleep with protection.

You lay in your futon, but you couldn’t fall asleep peacefully. The fear of love is the nightmare you are having even though you are not asleep. 

What if you had once again sleepless nights and hatred of the mornings because of your curse?

You wonder if this curse will give you back your once-precious memories again. One is when you promise and vow to your lover that you will find them in the next life. 

But now that promise is long gone, you will never be able to accomplish it, nor promise it again to anyone.

The next day arrived eventually, and the medicine seller was once again there.

One look into his eyes, and you can tell what that look is. You’ve seen it before. 

Love.

You knew it was for the best if you both went your separate paths. That's why when he confessed to you after a few days, you rejected him. 

“I’m cursed with immortality. I walk into an endless abyss of darkness. It would be selfish of me to drag you along. While I do feel the same connection, I do not wish to feel suffering again.”

A pair of rough hands take yours.

“I am a kitsune, I have felt what you suffered. The sleepless nights, hatred of the mornings, and the endless cycle of a never-ending life. You no longer need to fear love. If you ever feel anxious in the endless cycle, I shall be there and soothe you.”

You looked into his eyes again. There was love and truth, but something familiar was there as well. 

“I never wanted to leave you, I was blessed by Inari to be a kitsune under her. I spent the centuries since my death to find you again, wondering countless nights and days without you beside me.” 

That's why the feeling of familiarity was there. He was your lover who died in front of you. The one you vowed to.

You immediately hugged him and accepted his confession. 

The sleepless nights and hatred of mornings had finally vanished, replaced with a warm embrace and happiness. 

Every time you woke up in your shared futon, you two would make eye contact and smile at each other.

~Lilly's

[magics-neptunes-things]

Jealousy or caring?

Hi guys :)

After the results of the survey, this is the story you have choosen. I may write the others too though.

Summary : This one talk about jalousy and everything who can come out of it, whether it’s little cute reconciliations or a little more complicated repercussions.

TW : Jealousy, discomfort with her feelings, a little angst.

Enjoy!

______________________________________________________________

Looking at your sleepy girlfriend, you gently raise your hand to caress her face. Your gesture is gentle and delicate, afraid to wake her up. Alexia’s moments of rest are so rare these days that you do everything you can to make them as restful as possible.

You loved everything about her, even her jealousy. Or, as she prefers to call it, her caring. As the days, weeks, months and even years went, you realize that Alexia's jealousy caring has different colors.

********

Losing has never been easy for anyone. But you must admitted that on your side, you are perhaps less accustomed than some of your fellow teammates. You’ve been playing at FC Barcelona for a few years now and the few times you’ve lost have traumatized you. Perhaps because it often happened in the finals, you must admit that disappointment is always up to the hopes and efforts that have been made to get there.

Your national team is a little less successful than your club though. You are of Norwegian origin and even though you qualified for the last World Cup, you are having a little trouble earning points for the next Cup. After another loss, you find yourself in the last place in the ranking and the bitterness that reigned in the locker room after your defeat is still well anchored in you.

You're actually lying on your bed of the hotel room that you share with Ingrid Engen, your bestie, who also plays in Barcelona. You’ve both been staring at the ceiling without saying a word, unable to sketch the slightest gesture. You are lying in a V-shape on the same bed, the legs of the brunette on yours. You’re playing the game in your head again and again and the things you could have done otherwise to allow your team to win. And you know that it’s the same kind of things that also turn in Ingrid’s head.

You only get out of your lethargy when you feels your mobile phone vibrate in the pocket of your jogging, making you jump. You startle Ingrid at the same time and she throws you a glare while you roll your eyes, wriggling on the bed to extract your phone. Looking at the screen, you smile when you see that it's your girlfriend. You pick up and wait patiently for the few seconds necessary for the Facetime call to connect.

The black screen gives way to Alexia’s face and your heart tightens when you remember that she's thousands miles away from you. Even if Ingrid is your best friend, you’d rather be lying in the same bed as Alexia.

"Holà Bebita" makes you affectionately the latina and you smile tenderly.

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

You pout and shrug. Always lying on your back on your bed and your blond hair in halo around your head, you are not sure of the effect, but never mind. You don’t answer with words, but that’s enough for Alexia to understand what you mean. She can’t stand to lose, too.

"For what it’s worth, you played very well."

"Not good enough apparently"

You grumble, but you’ve seen a few comments from frustrated fans who feel like you should have found situations to get the ball in the net a second time. Your equalizer wasn't enough to save your team and a few minutes before the end of the match the opposing team scored the goal of the victory.

Alexia frowns when you say that and you already know the words she will say. They are always the same when a teammate takes the team’s defeat on her back. However, this doesn't seem to apply to her, she's the first to declare herself guilty during a defeat.

"Hey I forbid you to say that. If you hadn’t done your best, you wouldn’t be that exhausted. How’s Ingrid?"

Preferring not to answer and focusing on her question, you turn your head towards your best friend. She's Alexia's friend too after all. The brunette imitates you a few seconds later and your lack of common energy ends up amusing yourself. So it's with a slight smile that you bring your attention to the screen and Alexia.

"She's laying down on my bed and didn’t even have the courage to get fully dressed after her shower."

"Perdóna me?"

You hoped to tease Alexia’s jealousy, but it's finally Mapi’s face that appears on the screen, her eyebrows frowning. You are surprised to see her, Alexia didn't inform you that she was in her company, but not entirely astonished. If Ingrid is your best friend, Mapi is definitely Alexia’s. This allows the four of you to have great moments together, even if Alexia and you are less likely to party than the other two.

"Y/N why is my girlfriend not answering her phone and naked on your bed?!"

"Holà Maria" you laugh.

"Mapi give me my phone back!" your hear Alexia in the background and some noise make you realize that she's really trying to take it back.

This chaos makes you smile and ends up shaking Ingrid from her lethargy. She rolls on her stomach to also watch the screen of your phone. Even if for the moment you have a breathtaking view of the ceiling of Alexia’s living room, then some fingers, then a black background and finally Alexia’s face again, with Mapi pouting in the background.

"Hi darling" Ingrid smiles when she sees her girlfriend. "My phone battery was discharged, I call you as soon as it comes back on."

You laugh when you see Mapi's face but Ingrid slaps you on the head and you frown.

"Hey" you whined, rubbing your head with your hand, as Ingrid gets up from bed to check her phone.

It actually had to come back on since you lost time to look at the ceiling and when she unplugs it from the cable, you look at your screen again. When the brunette informs you that she will call Mapi, you decide to plug in your headphones so you can focus on the conversation you have with Alexia. And besides, your roommate is doing the same. Rolling on your side, face on the wall, you look at your perfect lady.

"I miss you so much"

The confession you make to the blonde isn’t surprising, even if you are not physically demonstrative in public, you are very often together. Alexia actually has more things to do outside of trainings than you do, but you have at least all your evening together.

"I miss you too" Alexia replies before hesitating to continue "… but Ingrid was really not naked, huh?"

********

Alexia's jealousy, excuse-me, caring, wasn't always cute and nice actually. At the beginning of your relationship, you decided not to tell the fans. Partly because you didn’t want to deal with the reactions it would cause, but also because you wanted to be sure it would be a serious relationship. To be perfectly honest, you already knew on your side that this was the case but you didn't want to put too much pressure on Alexia, believing that she already had enough things to manage like this.

Her insecurities have always surprised you, even if she never really talked about it. She never accused you of anything and you know perfectly well that she never searched in your phone either for example. But the fear that sometimes colors her eyes when she sees you talking to another girl surprised you so much the first time that you told yourself that you were imagining things. Spoiler, you weren't.

You also remember perfectly well the time when you were looking for an enveloppe with pictures of your childhood in your apartment, making a mess in your living room. "I’m sure Anna put it in there" you mumbled, head down in a drawer.

"Who is Anna?"

The question was thrown as lightly as if Alexia had asked you the weather for the next day. But when you turned around, her face seemed too smooth and the fact that she looked away very suspicious. Again, there were no accusations in her behavior or tone of voice.

"My cousin? Who came last week?"

"Oh."

And with that, Alexia had moved on to another subject after a few seconds. You felt her relief and you saw how her whole body suddenly relaxed. It was always like that with the blonde. She has never been in the habit of talking about her emotions and even if she shows you that she loves you and cares about you, she is not the type of person to make you long love declarations. But you love her this way.

********

Because of all this, the first time her jealousy really took over her, you were taken by surprise.

It was during a casual match with a team in the middle of the ranking. You were easily winning and the match took place in a rather good general atmosphere, the visitors being rather respectful of the game.

This didn't prevent a bad tackle from an opposing player on you, more clumsy than voluntary, throwing you to the ground with a stabbing pain in the tibia. This pain made you stay a few seconds on the floor during which you resumed your breathing. The player in question quickly leaned over you to apologize, making sure nothing serious happened to you. You didn’t even calculate her hand on your shoulder, but you willingly accepted the helping hand that Alexia held out to help you up, taking you away from the other girl.

"I'm ok" you simply reassured her, taking her suspicious look as an interest on her part for your leg.

Well, you still think she was worried about that too. But, head in your game, you went back to your position and you didn’t think about this incident again.

When the referee whistled the famous three shots, you stayed on the pitch for several minutes to chat with your teammates and go sign some jerseys and take some pictures. After examining your tibia, you saw that a bruise has starting to form and the medical team asked you not to wait too much before going to put at least a little ice on it.

So you apologized to the fans and walked into the hallway leading to the locker room. It was at this moment that the player of the opposing team came after you, calling you by your first name. Surprised, you turned around and smiled at her when she made sure once again that you were okay.

You showed her your tibia to reassure her and with that you started to discuss a bit about the game. She ended up asking for a jersey swap and after a few seconds of hesitation, you agreed. It was at this very moment that Alexia made her appearance and the timing could probably not be worse.

Even if you had nothing to reproach yourself, she nevertheless found herself facing the image of her girlfriend only dressed in her shorts and a sports bra, facing another girl wearing her jersey. All of this with a few laughs that reflected on the walls of the corridor and the hand of the opponent placed on your arm to thank you.

The moment you met her gaze, you knew the situation was going to be complicated. Alexia were frozen a few feet from you, but you perfectly saw her jaw contract and the muscles of her hands tense.

You naturally ran after her when she turned around and it took you the whole way to the locker room for her to at least agree to look at you. And you had to take her face in your two hands since saying her name repeatedly, asking her to listen to you seemed to have no effect.

"Ale, Baby, look at me"

You had to put yourself on tiptoes to have your eyes at her level and finally really have her attention. The way she pushed your hands back into that corridor and walk with a quick step while shaking her head and not even looking at you gave you the impression that she was only there physically.

You never raised your voice, feeling that it would only make things worse. And you were right. Alexia’s eyes cut off your breathing and for once it wasn’t in the right way. The anger she had felt a few moments ago seemed to have deserted her mood, replaced by distress and insecurity.

You were alone in the locker room but you knew there were risks that it would not last. And Alexia would never want to be seen in this state of emotions by anyone. So, ignoring your bruise, you informed her you were taking her home. You left her no choice and she didn't protest, which may seem surprising coming from Alexia, but you were relieved to see that she was not trying to run away from you anymore.

The ride was quiet and it was a relief when you arrived in the safety of your apartment. That said, you didn’t really know what to do with your girlfriend, suddenly turned into a mute wall, looking at nothing. So you made the decision to sit her on your couch and kneel in front of her, between her legs. The fact that you are both still in football outfits added to the strangeness of the scene.

"Ale?"

Her gaze rests on you and the emotions that were previously there was added the fact that she seems lost. You put your hands on her lap and you look at her for a long time, not really knowing what to say. But you end up choosing what you think is most important.

"I know what you saw and that it may have seemed inappropriate, but I swear there was nothing. She just apologized and asked me to swap our jerseys"

You feel her gaze scan you and you let her do it, leaving her the time she needs. She finally nods, but you’d like her to talk to you, explain what’s going on in her head. Except she seems incapable of it for the moment.

"Come on, let’s take a shower."

You hope that the hot water will allow Alexia to relax and gather her ideas and you let her enter the shower first. Until she finishes, you unpack your bags and you decide to make her a cup of tea. Even if you are not English, your mom had this habit when someone was not well and you took the same way.

To give her as much privacy as possible, you left some spare clothes and you wait patiently on your sofa for her to come out of the bathroom. Looking at your phone, you realize that your hurry departure surprised some of your teammates and you don’t wait to answer them that everything is fine and that you are together. You can already imagine the kind of gritty scenario that Mapi will put herself in the head.

When your girl had finished, it was your turn and you hurry to go back to her as soon as possible. Despite her silence, you’re afraid you won’t find her when you get out of there. But no, except instead of being on your couch, she’s sitting on the foot of your bed. She plays nervously with her fingers and looks up at you as you slowly enter the room.

"I'm sorry"

You don’t see why she apologizes, but you decide not to ask her a question right now. Instead, you climb in the bed behind her and pull her against you, reversing your bed habits. Usually, it’s you in the role of the little spoon. But this time, she willingly nestles against you and you gently rock her, leaning against the head of the bed.

"Can we talk about it?"

She nods again, but remains silent. Looking for a way to start the conversation, you realize that you feel her heart beating against your skin, testifying to the strength of her emotions.

"Ale, you know I would never do that, right? Cheating in any way. I care too much about you to risk losing you. I only look at you."

Alexia obviously heard you, but you realize she seems to be grappling with words. She never has problems finding the ones that are necessary to motivate her teams or to reassure others, it seems to be another thing to find those to express her emotions. This isn't surprising, once again the number of people to whom she opened must be counted on the fingers of one hand.

"Ok, let me try to help you. How did you feel when you came into this hallway?"

"I wanted to rip her head off."

Well, that was rude but clear. You find yourself trying not to laugh.

"Something else?" you asked, hiding your smile in her hair.

You couldn't do it for long though, since a few seconds later Alexia gets up to sit and face you.

"I know you would never do anything like that, but that doesn’t stop me from fearing losing you. If I told you that I trust you, but I don’t trust others, would you understand the difference?"

You nod and replace a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I don't care about the others, though"

"I know I'm beeing stupid b..."

You interrupt her by placing a finger on her lips, making her look up at you for the first time since she spoke again.

"Don't. You're not stupid because you feels emotions Alexia. You're an human, not a robot"

"I don't know what to do with all this emotions" she mumble.

"Talking to me can help?"

You try a smile and she gives you a smirk back. That's a beginning right? You take her again against you and she half sit on your lap, her face against your shoulder. The silence is this time more relaxing and you feel Alexia relax in your arms.

"Thanks for getting me out of there before the others saw me like that."

"Always here for you, Love."

********

But Alexia can be possessive too.

As time passed, she learned to deal with her frustrations differently. When a girl has looked at you for too long for her taste at a party for example, it isn't uncommon that you find yourself the next day with scattered hickeys all over your body. Your bond has continued to grow and your understanding to evolve to the point that you can understand each other only in a few seconds, without even having to speak.

This connection has obviously been noticed by almost everyone, but there are only two people who can brag about knowing Alexia perhaps better than you. Alba, her little sister, but especially Eli, her mother. This one is grateful to you for regularly bringing her eldest daughter home, apart from the weekly diner organized at home. At first, you refused to accompany Alexia, preferring to let her spend time alone with her mother and sister. But, when your girlfriend informed you that her mother was about to sulk you permanently, you ended up going every week.

"Here you are at last!" Eli said the first time you went back.

You laughed and gave her a hug before you went to greet Alba. If Alexia quickly dragged you into the family lounge to watch their usual series, Eli eventually commandeered your help in the kitchen. Laying a kiss on Alexia’s head who hums and smile at you, you obviously agreed and found yourself peeling carrots with your mother-in-law.

You expected remonstrance from what you told Alexia, but instead you find yourself facing Eli’s inquisitive gaze.

"You swear to tell me nothing but the truth?"

"Uh… yeah?"

You are intrigued but also a little worried. You don't see what you could have hidden from her, but she has the same effect on you as when you have to pass the security gate of the customs at the airport.

"It’s been weeks since you were seen here. I thought you and Alexia broke up and she didn’t have the courage to tell me."

"Oh… no, everything is fine between us" you assured her by turning your attention to your carrots.

"Really? You’re not pretending to be always together so you don’t worry me?"

"Promised"

You smiled at her and after a few seconds scanning the blue of your eyes, she responded to your smile. Realizing that Alexia has the same way of looking through your eyes amuses you a lot.

"Why would you worry anyway?" you ask, frowning. "Alexia could find someone else in a snap of the fingers."

Eli snorts and you turn your attention to her.

"Maybe she could, but I sincerely doubt that she will find someone as good for her as you are. She hadn’t been with anyone for a long time before you came from your freezing Norway. I was genuinely afraid that she would never find someone good enough for her. I never asked you if you want children or getting married like I know Alexia want to, because I know that the bond you both have will take you where you have to be."

What could you have said to that? Nothing. So you cut those damn carrots, lost in your thoughts. You are obviously convinced that Alexia is made for you, otherwise you would never have been with her for so long. But you never claimed you were made for her in return.

After the carrots, you attacked another kind of vegetables, always in silence. Hearing your mother-in-law talk to you about marriage and children is rather peculiar, you never really touched the subject with Alexia. You obviously noticed the way she behaves with children and it makes your heart melt every time. You know she’ll make a good mom when her turn comes, but you don’t know if she wants to have that with you. You don’t even live together right now, after almost a year of dating. Even if you are more at her home than at yours.

"What have you done to my girlfriend?"

Not seeing you coming back to her, Alexia ended up leaving her couch to come see what’s happening in the kitchen. She knows you well enough to realize that you are lost in your thoughts and not necessarily light things. But by your side, Eli gathers the vegetables in a pan to start cooking them.

"Nothing, we were just talking mija."

The look Alexia gives you is uncertain and you give her a small smile that you hope reassuring. (It’s not). Eli sends you back to the living room and you follow your girlfriend to finish the current episode. At the end, Alba decrees that she has a call to make and Alexia takes you with her to the garden. Her fingers are tangled with yours and you looked up at the sky that darkens when she draws you against her. You let her do it and you find yourself facing her, her hand coming on your cheek. This gesture intrigues you, not that Alexia isn't tender with you, but you wonder what is behind her head.

"Are you ok?"

"I am"

You answer and, taking advantage of your proximity, you kiss her softly on her lips. A few seconds later you pass your arms around her neck to extend the kiss, enjoying of this sweat moment during which you get lost in all of her. But Alexia, determined to know more, finally backs down to plunge her gaze into yours.

"Talking to my mother about things you don’t want to talk to me about now?"

Alexia has arched an eyebrow and looks amused, but you know perfectly well that behind this light air, there is a real concern. You laugh gently though, taking the time to kiss her again before answering her.

"Do you want children?"

"I… What?"

"Living with me? Getting married?"

"Y/N - "

"Maybe get a brother or a sister for Nala?"

"A pomeranian?"

You laugh slightly but shake your head gently. Without releasing your hands around her neck, you back your face a few centimeters to have a better view of her.

"Have you ever thought about a future together, you and me?"

Alexia bites her lip and slightly tilts her head to the side while looking at you. The length of time it takes him to answer you creates a knot in your stomach and you detach this time your hands around her neck. You’re trying to pull back a little more, but Alexia’s arms around your waist are holding you back.

"Don’t take this the wrong way, okay?"

Well that’s a bad start. You only frown for answer and look forward to the rest.

"The first time I saw you, I knew. I knew you would be the one I wanted to live with. I want everything you just described, even though the second dog didn’t come to my mind."

You smirk and arch an eyebrow. As she spoke, you felt your stomach relax and your heart rate drop. But you don’t interrupt her, having learned over time that if you wanted to know more about her deep thoughts, you have to let her talk.

"You were more than patient with me, you knew how to get to know me and understand me better than anyone else. I fell in love with you the very moment you walked into the gym, half hiding behind Ingrid."

The scene is still fresh in your memory and you laugh softly remembering it. You were impressed, more than ever, to be faced with world-class players.

"I know my jealousy is sometimes difficult to deal with, but I really love you more than anything. And I don’t even want to imagine my life without you."

You find yourself without words, for once in the role of the one who is unable to find the right terms to mean what she thinks. You are not used to receiving such statements from your girlfriend, the latina preferring to cover you with attentions and gifts.

So you just pass your arms around her neck and kiss her with everything you have. This kiss is passionate and intense, it makes you completely forget the place where you are currently. Alexia tightened you impossibly close to her and the blonde took the opportunity of a moan from you to slip her tongue between your lips. Both lost in your embrace, you only take a few seconds between each kiss to catch your breath before starting again.

You can’t tell how long you’ve been kissing here, but you’re still grateful that it’s Alba who surprised you rather than your mother-in-law.

"Oh wow, I’m going to have to wash my eyes with bleach" she exclaims as she puts her hands on her eyes. "Diner is ready"

With that, she goes back inside and you laugh slowly before putting your attention back on Alexia. With a smirk, she kiss lightly your neck while whispering "We will resume this conversation later".

********

Over the years, Alexia’s jealousy has continued to punctuate your life. But she always kept a healthy jealousy, never accusing you of anything.

There was for example the time when you went out to a restaurant during your summer vacation. No one seemed to recognize you, allowing Alexia to feel particularly relaxed and comfortable with your physical proximity. You were surprised at the beginning of the stay when she takes your hand in her when you strolled around town or when she joined you on the same deck chair to enjoy a sunbath while cuddling.

The restaurant you booked that night was highly recommended by Ona and Lucy, who had come to the same place some time before. You failed to swallow your gum when you saw Alexia come out of the bathroom after putting on a red dress that showed nothing more than necessary but that made her breathtaking. More than usual.

And she may swear you’re the prettiest of the two, but you don’t believe it for a second. You must restrain yourself so much from letting your eyes slide over her body, in places that only you have the honor of knowing at your fingertips, that you don't realize Alexia’s growing annoyance towards your server.

It's true that he perhaps insists a little too much to know if everything is fine and that he has a strong tendency to talk to only you. It's only when you notice that Alexia’s jaw is a little too tense that you realize that something is wrong. You gently place your hand on hers and caress her skin with your thumb.

"What is it, Bonita?"

"Nothing, don’t worry."

She smiles bravely at you and since she doesn’t want to talk about it, you don’t insist. Instead, you draw her hand to your lips to lay tender kisses. The smile coming back on your girlfriend’s face, you leave this information aside until the end of the meal. After dessert, you forbid Alexia to spend any penny and pay the bill. When the waiter gives you the receipt of your payment, you slip it in your bag without thinking about it for a single second.

After a walk hand in hand, you return to your suite, secretly in a hurry to get rid of your high heels. In truth, you are so in a hurry that you decide to remove them just out of the elevator, highly amusing Alexia.

"Where’s the room card Bebita?" she asks smiling.

"In my bag"

You hand it to her and sigh of relief as you feel your feet breathe again.

"Maybe I will be able to still play football after all" you grumble as Alexia searches your purse for a few seconds, giggling about what you just said.

The sweat sound stop rather abruptly though, making you raise your eyes on her. She was livid. Regaining your seriousness, you take a few steps in her direction and you question her at the same time when she resumes speaking.

"Ale?"

"What is it?"

You frown as you look at the piece of paper she holds in her hand, realizing that this is the receipt you had slip into your purse when leaving the restaurant.

"The restaurant's bill?" you answer, not understanding what was going on.

"No. This."

Despite her calm voice, you see her hand shaking as she approaches the paper from your face. And there you see. The waiter thought it clever to write his phone number in hand, accompanied by a small annotation. "I finish at 0h, call me ;) " Your face drop and you raise your eyes on Alexia again, feeling a wave of panic going through you.

"I'm not... I didn’t see that he wrote that, I never would have taken it! Alexia I swear."

You were scared, really. Alexia had never been as relaxed as she was on this trip and had never behaved the same way with you outside the four walls of your shared apartment. You were terrified that it would make her step back or worse, that she would think that you might be interested in him somehow.

But you soon realize that if she’s angry, it’s clearly not against you. Furiously opening the door of your room thanks to the magnetic card she finally found, Alexia enters like a furious. And you follow her on tiptoe, dropping your shoes next to the door that closes behind you.

"Alexia?"

"Who the hell does he think he is?" Alexia roars, making you wide-eyes. "Wasn’t it visible enough that we were on a date? I’ve practically been drooling over you all night and if your eyes could undress me I wouldn’t be wearing my dress anymore."

Laughing may not be a good idea right now, but your girlfriend’s phrasing still amuses you a lot. You bite your lower lip to avoid to do it and grab her by the arm to prevent it from spinning like a propeller in your room. Drawing her against you, you pass your arms around her waist, unable to access her shoulders. If you got rid of your high heels, this is not the case for Alexia although she is only five centimeters taller than you without it.

"We don't care about him. I’m only yours, Alexia, for as long as you want me."

"Don’t say that kind of thing where you’re gonna get stuck with me for the rest of your life" she grunts against your hair.

"Can’t wait."

[riptideripley]

Attached.

a/n: slightly based on - Always been you by Chris Grey.

summary: Rhea was your ex girlfriend who always seemed to be connected to you..

word count:1,563

Rhea couldn’t seem to get away from you. Her heart,mind,and soul was attached to yours. She knew you couldn’t say the same since you moved on quite faster than she expected,finding yourself with one of her co-workers Shayna Baszler. It completely pained Rhea,knowing how quickly you moved on while she struggled to find herself with anyone other than you.

So here she was driving down your street,knowing Shayna wasn’t gonna be home for 3 weeks. It felt as if she was going..home. Soon she pulled into your drive way,having a spare key to the home she once shared with you. She unlocked the door and to her surprise,there you were on the couch. Lucky her you didn’t hear her come inside,too busy listening to music while working on some things. She crept up behind the couch startling you as you looked up,instantly snatching your headphones off. Just as you were about to scream,she covers your mouth.

“Sh sh shh..It’s just me honey. I knew you missed me,look at how your body is just reacting off of me touching this pretty face” She spoke as she trailing her finger down your face. You sat there completely frozen in shock,how the fuck did she get in? Wait..the spare key. You completely forgot you gave her a spare key long ago and never took it back. “Rhea..get out. Me and you both know things ended for the better,Shayna won’t be ha-“ “Forget Shayna. This is about us,you know how much this pussy misses my touch” Rhea whispered trailing her hand down between your breasts.

You didn’t stop her,you felt guilty but god she was right..Shayna’s hand skills weren’t Rhea. They didn’t feel the same and even though you two had been off and on for about five months compared to only dating Shayna for three months,the sex was nothing like Rhea. “You missed this didn’t you? Go on puppy admit it.” “Fuck..f-fine I did” she smirked at your response,seeing how desperate you were for her to touch you.

Suddenly you were lifted off your couch onto Rhea’s shoulder. She was quick on her feet as she rushed up the stairs to the main bedroom. Lightly tossing you onto the bed,clothes quickly flying off of the both of you. You could tell she missed this just as much as you did,the way she kissed down your body before kissing you in the most passionate way. This kiss was different..it felt more passionate and needy. She wasted no time diving between your thighs,lifting your thighs onto her shoulders pulling you closer.

God this felt so much more different than Shayna.

Her tongue always made you see the stars. She was a pussy eating pro,you made sure to tell her that every time. The way her tongue flicked over and over on your clit,purposely not giving into what you want to tease. “God..Rhea please-“ your words cut short quickly with a pornographic moan. Rhea had shoved her whole face in it at this point,lapping and sucking you like you were her first meal after she got out of jail. You tried scooting up on the bed so she could at least breathe but she didn’t give two fucks about breathing right now. She was quick to pull you back down on her face,slurping everything she could. Your whines and moans only fueled her to do more,pressing her tongue piercing against your clit moving it in circles.

She knew this always sent you over the edge and she absolutely LOVED it. Your orgasm soon came crashing all at once,the knot in your stomach snapping. Your mind went completely blank,legs completely shaking while Rhea just smiled at the sight. “Am I still a pro hm?” she asked teasingly,kissing up your body. You fell back into reality at her words,squirming. “Of course you are..” you whispered out,hearing your phone go off. Rhea picked it up to see who could possibly be texting you,it was your girlfriend Shayna. “Well well well..look who’s texting us” Rhea chuckled to herself,showing you the message.

You reached out for your phone which she ended up tossing to the side of the bed. “Not now.” she said sternly,kissing your body again. You whined,trying to reach around for your phone but she caught on. She grabbed your phone and threw it inside of the nightstand drawer. It suddenly dawned on you what the message said,she’s on her flight home. “W-Wait Rhea wait” you spoke quickly,scooting her off of you which she moved. “What? Did I do something?” “No no..it’s just she’s on her way home..” you spoke looking up at Rhea,her face breaking into this evil smile. “So? You know who you belong to. Plus I’m not finished” she whispered in this seductive tone. You sighed knowing she wasn’t letting up,not that you wanted her to. Truth be told you missed her,it was obvious. Dominik and Zoey always tried to get you two back together,even while you were with Shayna. You pretended like you didn’t want it but you did and she knew it. Rhea knew everything.

You suddenly felt her knee press between your knees,making you spread your legs. “I brought the one you love so much..” she whispered making you gasp at the sudden feeling of something on your thigh. You glanced down and there it was,the last strap Rhea used on you before you two broke up. The black based strap presses against your thigh,feeling the veins on the side of it. Rhea adjusted her position,pressing the head of the strap against your aching hole. Rhea smiled at how easily she slipped inside of you.

Her thrusts started off slow and sweet,quickly changing to a faster pace. You bit down onto a pillow trying not to be as loud as you truly wanted to be,only because the neighbors knew both you and Shayna so screaming Rhea’s name right now would not be a good idea. Your back arched off the bed,feeling her reach places you would’ve never even thought of. Eventually you said fuck it and stop biting the pillow,letting out the loudest moans and whines you’ve ever made. Rhea knew your body like the back of her hand,knowing what spots to reach to tip you over and especially mesmerizing your most sensitive spots. Your body felt like you weren’t even there,the amount of pleasure she was giving you was insanely good. Her stamina was unmatchable,her pace not slowing down regardless of how long you two had been at it.

Almost an 2 hours had went by,orgasm after orgasm hitting you. Lucky for you two Shayna had to stop by Zoey’s house before coming home which spared time. Another knot formed in your stomach making your legs start trembling. “Cmon puppy..cum all over daddy’s cock like you always do.” she whispered,leaving soft kisses down your jaw and neck. This completely sent you over the edge,screaming out her name not giving a fuck about neighbors as you released. She smiled and whispered soft praises in your ear,fucking and talking you through your orgasm. Slowly she removed herself and smiled at the sight seeing your face all fucked entirely out. She slipped out of the harness and began putting her clothes back on but you stopped her,pointing at your face.

She quickly caught on and smiled,slipping her boxers back off and crawling back onto the bed. You sighed and pulled her closer,catching her off guard. She chuckled softly,”Someone is eager to eat me out hmm” “Just shut up and sit.” you spat out,pulling her down onto your face. She let out a loud moan,missing the way you basked in her pussy eating her like you’ve never ate anything in weeks. She held onto the headboard trying not to lose her balance,one hand holding your hair with the other on the headboard. She hated to admit it but she absolutely loved when you took control like this.

You smiled softly feeling her thigh clench and shake around your face,pressing and swirling the tip of your tongue directly on her clit. “H-Holy shit-“ she stammered out,feeling herself losing control. With a loud moan she came everywhere,and I mean everywhere. Juices dripping down the side of your face onto the pillows with your face completely soaked,you continued licking her through her orgasm. Rhea slowly moved off of your face,not being able to move anymore than that as she laid down next to you. You chuckled and kisses her thighs gently,standing up to go retrieve some cold towels from the bathroom.

Rhea thought about spending the night..that was until Shayna called you telling you she was on her way home. “So..what does this mean between us?” you asked,making her stop in her tracks at the doorway. She wanted you,she always has and always will. She’s stuck. “We’ll see..call me later.

Things were never gonna end between you two,you both were attached.

creds: @cafekitsune @mxmoth

[cheynovak]

Passion and Redemption

Dean Winchester x Y/N female character

Summary: Dean and Y/N are secretly hooking up. They both reclaim their virginity during a hunt. Dean get jealous and seize the moment to let Y/N know what she'd be missing if she left.

Set in season 9 ep 8 - see video

Warnings: talk of sex. nothing explicit

English isn't my first language

Please do not copy my work. like/share/comments are appreciated.

The Impala's engine rumbled softly as it idled in front of the small church. Dean cut the engine and glanced at Y/N in the rearview mirror. She was sitting quietly in the backseat, her gaze fixed on the church entrance. Sam shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat, clearly not looking forward to this virginity-restoring "purity" meeting. Dean wasn’t either—but for different reasons.

The last few hunts had been intense, and Y/N had proven herself invaluable. Quick, smart, and fearless in the face of monsters. But last night, Dean had seen something that messed with his head. He’d caught her chatting up a bartender, leaning in close, giving him that same smile she gave Dean when they were alone. He swore he saw her slip the guy a napkin, probably with her number on it.

His gut twisted with jealousy and anger. He and Y/N had been hooking up in secret for weeks, and while Dean wasn’t one for serious relationships, seeing her with someone else stung more than he wanted to admit. All morning, he'd been giving her the cold shoulder, keeping his distance. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything.

Sam’s voice broke the silence. “You guys ready for this?”

Dean snorted. “Ready as I’ll ever be, Sammy.

Y/N gave a quiet sigh from the backseat, her arms crossed. She followed the brothers into the church, where they were greeted by a circle of people—mostly women—waiting for the session to begin. Pamphlets were spread across a long table in the center, with a large cross mounted on the wall behind it. Dean found a seat, Sam beside him, and Y/N a few chairs away.

The leader clapped her hands, smiling brightly at the group. “Welcome, everyone! Today, we’re going to open up about why we’ve decided to give up sex. Whether it’s for spiritual reasons, emotional healing, or just a fresh start, we’re here to support one another.”

Dean rolled his eyes, keeping his thoughts to himself. He wasn’t exactly the kind of guy who enjoyed sharing his feelings with a group of strangers.

One by one, the participants shared their stories. Some mentioned past heartbreak, others trauma, and a few spoke about wanting to strengthen their spiritual connection. When it came to Y/N’s turn, she sat up straighter, her voice cool and steady.

“All men are the same,” she said, eyes locking onto Dean’s with a sharpness that made him wince. “They take what they want, then toss you aside when they’re done.”

Dean’s jaw clenched. That one hit a little too close to home. She was talking about him. She had to be. But what the hell? It wasn’t like he’d thrown her aside… not yet, anyway. He wasn’t even sure what was going on between them. Either way, hearing her say that stung.

Then, it was Dean’s turn. He leaned back in his chair, a cocky grin creeping across his face. If she was going to throw shots at him, he might as well play it up.

“Well,” he started, his voice dropping into that familiar, low tone, "Sex has always felt, I don't know... good. You know, really... really good."

He couldn't look at her as he continued. "But eh, sometimes it just makes you feel bad. You know, you're drunk, take a girl home, you shack up."

"Then it's the whole morning thing you know. Hey that was fun." He looked at Y/N now, giving her a low blow. "And then it's hard to let her down, to tell her... adios."

He looked back at his hands. "Always the adios"

“when you get down to it, what's the big deal? Sure, there's the touching, the feeling all of each other... my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body." He shifted in his seat, watching the women in the room lean in just a little closer. "The two of us moving together, pressing, pulling, grinding… and then you hit that sweet spot and everything just builds, builds and builds until it all just… "

*explosion noise*

He made a little hand gesture to go along with the sound, and a few of the women giggled, cheeks flushing pink. Dean wasn’t done yet, though.

“But, you know," he added with a casual shrug, "the whole thing’s just a little too… sticky.”

The room fell silent, the mood shifted from amused to confused. The way Dean casually tossed that last line out there, like he was commenting on something trivial, left everyone a bit off guard. Even Sam shot him a bewildered look.

Y/N’s lips pressed into a tight line, her eyes narrowing. She was pissed, no doubt about it. Dean could practically feel the heat of her glare burning into him, but he couldn’t resist the smug satisfaction that came with knowing he was getting under her skin.

The leader, clearly trying to regain control of the conversation, gave a polite chuckle and moved on to the next person, but the tension between Dean and Y/N was palpable. Dean didn’t look at her directly, but he could feel her anger simmering just beneath the surface.

As the meeting wrapped up and everyone filed out, Dean lingered near the door, waiting for Sam and Y/N. When she passed him, she didn’t say a word, but her shoulder brushed against his in a way that was far from accidental.

Sam, oblivious as always, gave Dean a nod. “You coming?”

“Yeah,” Dean muttered, watching Y/N’s retreating figure. “I’m coming.”

But as they left the church and headed back to the Impala, Dean knew he had a problem on his hands. Y/N was angry, and he wasn’t sure if it was just the jealousy talking or something deeper. Either way, they were going to have to deal with it—and when they did, there was no telling how things were going to play out.

Dean just hoped they didn't just crossed a line too far.

--

Y/N barely had time to settle into her motel room when she heard a knock on the door. She sighed, knowing exactly who it was. She debated ignoring it, but the knocking came again, more insistent this time. Reluctantly, she got up and opened the door, revealing Dean standing there, jaw tight and eyes full of irritation.

Before she could say anything, he brushed past her into the room, the door swinging shut behind him.

“Was that really necessary?” he snapped, turning to face her. “To hit me like that?”

Y/N blinked, completely caught off guard. “Hit you!?” she shot back, hands on her hips. “I didn’t hit you, Dean!”

“Yeah, well, that look you gave me might as well have been a right hook,” Dean growled, frustration seeping into his voice. “You could’ve jeopardized the whole damn hunt with that glare. Everyone in the room was ready to eat me alive!”

Y/N’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Oh, I could’ve jeopardized the hunt? Really, Dean? How about mister let me give all 20 women in the room an orgasm at once? Maybe that's why they where eating you alive! You overdid it, Dean! You didn’t sound the least bit sorry about premarital sex—you made it sound like a damn celebration”

Dean’s face hardened, his jaw tightening even more. “At least I didn’t stand up there and act like I’d been thrown aside like yesterday’s garbage while I’m handing out my number to every bartender I meet!”

Y/N’s expression shifted from angry to confused in an instant. “What?” She stared at him, searching his face for some clue as to what the hell he was talking about. “What are you talking about?”

“I saw you last night,” Dean shot back, his voice dripping with accusation. “At the bar. With that bartender. You were all over him, and you slipped him a napkin with your number. Don’t play dumb, Y/N.”

Y/N blinked again, her confusion growing. “Wait, that’s what this is about, why you act so weird around me?” She shook her head, almost laughing in disbelief. “Dean, I didn’t give him my number.”

Dean folded his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed. “Right. I saw it. You handed him a napkin.”

Y/N let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing her temples. “Yeah, Dean, I handed him the napkin back. He wrote his number on it, but I told him I was seeing someone.”

Dean opened his mouth to argue, but then paused. The jealousy and anger that had been fueling him began to fizzle out as the realization hit. His arms dropped to his sides, and he looked away, feeling like an idiot. He’d jumped to the wrong conclusion, and now it was clear.

“Shit,” Dean muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re serious?”

Y/N crossed her arms, still glaring at him. “Yeah, Dean. I’m serious. I wasn’t giving out my number. I was turning him down.”

Dean stood there, awkwardly shifting on his feet. The jealousy that had driven him all day now felt completely misplaced, and the frustration that had clouded his thoughts suddenly seemed ridiculous.

“You said you were… seeing someone?” Dean asked cautiously, his voice softer now, laced with hesitation.

Y/N stared at him for a long moment before she nodded. “Yeah. I did.”

Dean swallowed hard, trying to figure out how to backpedal after everything he’d accused her of. He felt a sudden swell of guilt for doubting her, but he wasn’t used to this—this vulnerability, this caring.

“I guess I…” He trailed off, his voice quieter. “I don’t know what I thought.”

Y/N’s glare softened, and she took a step closer. “You really thought I’d just… move on like that? After everything?”

Dean shook his head, his usual cockiness gone. “No. I just—when I saw you with him, I freaked. I’m not good at this, Y/N. I’m used to keeping things casual, but this… whatever this is with us, it’s different. And I guess I was scared I was the only one feeling it.”

Y/N looked up at him, her expression softening as the tension between them slowly ebbed away. “You’re an idiot, but I get it.”

Dean let out a small, self-deprecating chuckle, finally letting his guard down. “Yeah, well… wouldn’t be the first time.”

They stood there for a moment, the anger and confusion dissipating. Y/N took another step closer, her arms dropping to her sides as she looked up at him, waiting.

“I’m sorry,” Dean finally said, his voice low and genuine. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”

Y/N nodded, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “No, you shouldn’t have. But you’re an idiot, and I kinda expected it.”

Dean smirked, stepping closer until they were inches apart. “I guess I owe you for that one, huh?”

“Big time.”

Dean raised his hands in surrender. Y/N smiled, "Next time, just tell me what’s going on before you go full jealous caveman, okay?” Y/N whispered.

Dean laughed softly, shaking her head. “Deal.”

They stood there, the air between them lighter now, though still charged with that familiar tension. Dean looked down at her, his eyes softening, and without thinking, he reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

Y/N smiled, leaning into his touch, and for the first time all day, Dean felt the knot in his chest unwind.

Dean stood there, that familiar lopsided grin creeping across his face, the tension between them melting away, replaced by something warmer, more intimate.

“Well,” he said, his voice low and teasing, “I guess I have an idea how I can make it up to you.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, playing along as her lips curled into a smirk. “Oh, you do?”

Dean stepped closer, his hands gently resting on her hips, pulling her toward him. “If I’m remembering right,” he murmured, his lips brushing against her ear, “you told me once that you had a… less-than-stellar first time, right?”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. She knew exactly where this was going, and she couldn’t help but smile as she nodded, her voice soft. “Uh-huh. Why?”

Dean’s lips captured hers in a soft, lingering kiss. He pulled back just enough to whisper, “Well, technically… we’re both virgins again, aren’t we?”

He kissed her again, more insistent this time, and Y/N could feel the heat between them intensify. The playful teasing had dissolved into something real, something they both wanted.

“Maybe I can right some wrongs,” Dean murmured against her lips, his hands sliding up her back, pulling her closer. "What do you think, can I be your first Y/N?"

Y/N hummed softly, her hands threading through his hair as she kissed him back, letting the warmth spread through her. She could feel her heart racing, her body responding to every touch. As they broke apart for air, she giggled softly, pushing him toward the bed with a playful shove.

Dean let out a surprised laugh as he landed on the mattress, looking up at her with a mix of amusement and desire. “Finally,” she teased, crawling on top of him, her eyes sparkling with mischief, “mister Winchester has a master plan.”

Dean grinned up at her, his hands sliding up her thighs, his voice rough with desire. “Yeah, and it’s one I don’t plan on messing up.”

Y/N leaned down, her lips hovering just above his as she whispered,

“You’d better not.”

--

Taglist:

@lmg14 @kr804573 @nancymcl @suckitands33 @mostlymarvelgirl @globetrotter28 @jackles010378 @hobby27 @winchesterwild78 @deans-baby-momma @soab1967 @livingdeadblondequeen @ladysparkles78 @whimsyfinny @kamisobsessed @jays-bonnie-on-the-side @ferrersbiggestfan @spxideyver @kamisobsessed @deans-queen @yvonneeeee @libby99hb

[ashwhowrites]

Can I request a story where Robin is friends with the reader and ends up developing feelings for her?

But the problem is that the reader is younger than her, so Robin thinks it would be wrong to have a relationship with her, and so she tries to overcome her feelings, but it comes to the point where she has to push herself away from the reader.

But in the end, the reader goes to her and ask her what's wrong, and Robin in the end confesses her feelings. The reader then says that she feels the exact same, and reassure Robin about her fears, telling her that there will be nothing wrong in having a relationship with each other.

And in the end, they get together, and happy ending.

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

The gap

Robin and Y/N met in band, it was the only class they shared as they were in different grades. Robin was two years older, which wasn't a big deal when it came to a friendship. But lately, Robin has been seeing Y/N in a different way. Their conversations lasted longer and Robin thought about her all the time.

"Are you doing anything after the game tomorrow?" Y/N asked the bell signaled that it was time to pack up the instruments and go to the next class.

Robin snapped out of her thoughts, preparing to pack her instrument. "Um, not really. Maybe hang out with Steve but nothing is set in stone."

Y/N nodded, "Would you want to get something to eat?" It was something they had done countless times before but now that Robin admitted to herself how she felt, the alone hangouts made her nervous.

"Sure, we can leave the game together," Robin smiled. She watched as Y/N nodded and headed off to her next class. She took a deep breath as she walked out of the classroom. She had been torturing herself with the idea of telling Y/N how she felt, but she felt like it was inappropriate to date someone that much younger than her.

~~~

Robin and Y/N walked to Y/N's car, nerves in Robin's stomach, even though she's done this a thousand times. Robin tried to hide her blush when Y/N opened the door for her, shutting it softly behind her.

The car ride was filled with small talk about the game, and Robin tried to distract her mind. But looking over, watching Y/N drive and speak made her heart race. Robin sighed in relief as they pulled up to the restaurant, quickly getting out before Y/N had the chance to open her door.

They settled in a small booth, sitting across from each other as they looked at the menu. Robin drummed her fingers against the table, her hand in the middle. Y/N caught the movement, reaching over and softly touching Robin's hand. Robin froze, looking at their connected hands. The feeling of her skin on hers made her heart race and stomach flutter. The feeling reminded Robin how inappropriate it was to feel this for the younger girl.

A server came up and interrupted the moment. Robin was fast to snatch her hand away, placing it on her lap. Y/N flinched at the quick movement, a little hurt that Robin rejected her touch. After they ordered, Y/N tried to shrug the moment off. As the night went on, Robin tried not to think too far ahead. But there was a flirty look in Y/N's eyes that made Robin nervous.

Then the drive home felt intense, Robin could feel Y/N's eyes wandering over to her. Robin was relieved when Y/N pulled up to her house. Robin quickly unbuckled and prepared to run out of the car but Y/N landed a hand on Robin's thigh.

Robin froze and turned to look at her, Y/N had this intimate look in her eye. The air felt suffocating as Y/N looked down at Robin's lips, the look made her panic. Once Y/N began to lean in, Robin flew into action. She panicked and was fast to pull away, an awkward smile on her face.

"Well, thanks for the ride! Goodnight," she rushed, exiting the car. Y/N stared into the space Robin was a second ago, the door slamming. Y/N felt her face burn in embarrassment, the clear rejection made her heart sink.

~~~

Monday came and Y/N was anxious to go to band. She felt bad for making a move on Robin and making her uncomfortable. Robin was anxious as well, her head racing with the idea of Y/N liking her.

It was clear she had to have liked her, otherwise she wouldn't have tried to kiss her. But Robin was still uncomfortable with the age gap. Y/N was too young to have a serious relationship and too young to want someone as old as Robin.

Robin awkwardly sat down next to Y/N, setting up her instrument.

"Hey, Rob," Y/N said a small smile on her face.

"Hi," Robin whispered, keeping her eyes on her instrument and nowhere near the girl who was looking at her.

Robin was glad the teacher came in and began class, letting her escape for a bit of time. But as class ended, Y/N turned to her.

"Do you maybe want to get some coffee after school?" Y/N asked, she wanted to talk to Robin about what happened and wanted it private.

"I have a ton of homework, I slacked over the weekend. But raincheck?" Robin said, her words practically running out of her mouth. Y/N nodded, watching as Robin ran out.

~

The raincheck never came. Y/N began to only see Robin during band practice and performances. Whenever she tried to make plans, Robin got freaked and made up an excuse.

Y/N couldn't handle the constant rejection, and she was tired of their relationship being so awkward. So she trapped Robin in the band room, shutting the door.

"Um, I don't think we can stay in here," Robin nervously laughed. Y/N didn't find anything funny anymore, annoyed that Robin couldn't face her.

"Look I know I fucked up and made everything awkward. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable and I'd like us to talk about it so we can go back to being friends without you avoiding me." Y/N confessed.

"I haven't been avoiding you," Robin said but Y/N gave her a disapproving look. "Okay fine. I'm sorry for hiding. It's just easier than talking about all our feelings."

"Robin it's fine that you don't see me in that way. I wouldn't have ever tried to kiss you if I knew it would cause all this distance between us."

"I do see you in that way!" Robin rushed to clarify. Y/N blinked shocked as she stared at the girl. "I do like you and I've wanted to make a move on you for so long."

"Then why did you reject me? And then keep on rejecting me?"

"I've been trying to fight my feelings for you because I don't think we should be together," Robin sighed. Y/N didn't bother to hide how hurt she was. "Not because of you or anything!" Robin clarified. "Well a little you, it's your age."

"My age?" Y/N asked, "I'm two years younger than you, not ten."

"Two years is still a gap! I graduate this year and you still have two more years of high school. Doesn't that sound inappropriate? And wrong?" Robin explained

"Not really. Once we are out of high school, two years won't sound like anything to anyone. I really like you, Robin. I want to be with you," Y/N said as she began to walk towards Robin. "I'm not going to pressure you, but if you want to be with me I need to know if you can make it possible."

Robin felt like she was holding her breath as Y/N walked closer. She tried to relax her body when Y/N wrapped her arms around her neck. Robin was timid as she wrapped her arms around Y/N's waist.

"I can make it possible," Robin whispered, allowing herself for once to look at Y/N's lips.

"Good," Y/N smiled. She leaned in and pressed her lips against hers. Robin didn't waste a second to kiss her back, craving the feeling for months. As they kissed all the worries melted away, allowing Robin's heart to soak in this incredible feeling.

[honeycreammilkshake]

Soooooo I've read your post about your ships AND I started shipping Togachako even though I've never seen My Hero Academia LMAO

Anyways, any thoughts about the last episode? i had 0 context about anything but Ochako saying "the cutest girl in the whole world" made my cry😭

my first ask about togachako! thank you so much, anon <3

i am not going to lie. i almost screamed out loud while watching this. i had read the manga ending previously but seeing it on screen really almost wrecked me.

love stories are fun... until the love story is one of you dies saving the life of the only one who fully understood you and loved you for who you really were.

i think the biggest reason why togachako is my favorite bnha ship is because of the parallels between ochaco and toga, especially in how they perceive and express their love.

toga had previously assumed that the only person who could truly love her would have to be pretty much the same as her. this came from her own experience with her parents and everyone around her, who saw her only as a monster and tried to repress her inner feelings and thoughts, which made her all the more bloodthirsty after such a long time of being literally and metaphorically starved.

she was treated as an unredeemable demon that couldn't be loved by anyone "normal."

this belief of hers that love can only come from someone like herself also correlates with her quirk, as she often tries to drink the blood of and "become one" with those she likes or wants to be closer to, similar to how she drained her first crush of all his blood as both a kind of love confession and as the emergence of her true self.

throughout the series you can see this kind of behavior of hers to try and relate to other people in order to rationalize her feelings for them. when she first fought with ochaco and tsuyu, for example, she told ochaco that they had the same scent, that they both admired deku, and that they were both trying to emulate the person of their affections. and during their fight in season 6, toga says to ochaco "i want to be like you. you're cute too, ochaco. i like you a lot."

the way toga is always comparing herself to ochaco, drawing similarities between them and openly admitting to wanting to be more like her, is the only kind of love confession she can make because she feels that someone who isn't like her couldn't possibly like her.

compare this to how ochaco sees and interprets love.

ochaco's parents loved and supported her even though they weren't very wealthy themselves, which inspired her to become a hero so she could help people like them. she was also inspired by deku, and her admiration of him led to her wanting to emulate him, something toga picked up on and related to.

it's clear that toga wants to find something to relate to in ochaco, and even though ochaco is quite different from toga, there are still many parallels between them, too.

for example, they both hid parts of themselves from other people, ochaco by denying she had feelings for deku and toga by being forced to conceal her true self all her childhood. toga wanted to connect with ochaco over this, but ochaco refused to identify with ochaco at all.

another thing i want to bring up is the symbolism of toga's smile.

when she's confronted by chitose, she's forced to reflect on how society has shunned and tried to reconfirm her, but instead of feeling miserable about it, toga instead says she is happy because she finally has a clear goal in mind: to get closer to someone she loves.

she then uses the blood she has left to turn into ochaco, which chitose believes is only so toga can die while looking cute, but toga realizes in that moment that she wants to be close to someone like how toga is close to deku.

she wants to be just like ochaco.

in short, drinking ochaco's blood returned toga's will to live, as she was able to find what she wanted in life and even uncover a new side to her powers she didn't realize she had before. she even says that living as someone like ochaco, a cute high school girl that others enjoy the company of and that life treats "easier" is the goal she wants to achieve.

by briefly experiencing what life was like for ochaco, someone who could be close to the person she loved and even get them to trust her (something toga was denied over and over in her childhood), toga realizes that she wants to be more like ochaco. in fact, she might even love ochaco.

and the way this scene was animated is just amazing.

i love the way half of ochaco's face and half of toga's face are merged together, while she gives her widest unhinged grin.

as toga said, she smiles when she's happy, and being close to someone she loves creates that feeling in her. that's what she wants in life: to love and be loved for who she truly is, to feel that deep closeness with someone. and reflecting back on her relationship with both deku and ochaco made her want to live her life, despite the pain she'd experienced before, so that she could live as she wanted to, love someone who loved her for herself. someone who accepted her normality.

and although ochaco initially rejected toga's attempts to connect with her, making toga feel like ochaco would be just another hero who would kill toga without regret, it makes it even more interesting and beautiful when ochaco reconsiders and chooses to reach out and connect with toga, despite everything.

ochaco is someone who wants to save people, who knows what pure love feels like and knows how to give it in turn. she was at first disturbed by toga's strong feelings and her teeth-bearing smiles, because to her those forms of expression went against her ideas about what love is and how people show it. but now ochaco admires toga's smile. she's even jealous of it, and at how toga so easily expresses her emotions and her love.

they were both jealous of each other. toga was jealous of ochaco for being able to have normal relationships that allowed her to get close to people, to be trusted by them, to feel cute and wanted. and ochaco was jealous of toga for being able to be so upfront and even headstrong about her feelings, to express her true self with such rawness and honesty.

and despite how toga was willing to kill ochaco, the other girl never uses her powers to harm toga.

though they both know zero gravity can be lethal and toga even used it to kill chitose and her army, ochaco is still unwilling to use it to harm her and is tender to toga throughout their entire confrontation.

this goes against everything toga feared and maybe even believed ochaco would do to her. ochaco is not willing to kill toga like the heroes killed jin, and though she won't forgive every terrible thing that toga has done, she is still willing to hear what toga has to say and to even comfort toga through it.

it's such an important detail to me that ochaco literally keeps toga tethered throughout this entire conversation. she's showing toga that it's not a matter of pity or ego that she's doing this, but she truly wants to hear toga's side of the story.

and despite how toga keeps trying to harm her, ochaco never flinches away and never stops listening.

if the manga was way too emotional already, the animated version of their last battle almost broke me, especially during this scene.

i can't get over how ochaco doesn't look away from toga the entire time. the fact that it's so important for her to let toga know she finds her smile beautiful means so much, both because of how toga wants to be found cute by someone and because toga smiles when she's happy, so ochaco is saying she values toga's happiness and that expression of her true self.

toga's smile is wide, unhinged, maybe even a little monstrous to anyone else. but to ochaco, it's wonderful. because toga is happy, free to express herself without holding back or donning anyone else's appearance to do so. her natural face, her natural personality, who she really is... that's what ochaco finds cute.

and it's so telling that when ochaco thinks about how she loves both deku and ochaco, her smile is more worried than happy. yet when ochaco confirms that toga is cute, the cutest girl in the whole world, toga's smile is pure and so wide.

ochaco made her happy, even at the very end. toga couldn't even imagine a world without ochaco in it being one worth living in, so she decided to give up her life to save ochaco's own. because ochaco's love is what gave toga happiness, and she knows that a world without happiness, without that person who makes her smile, would never feel the same.

they will forever be one of the most tragic love stories of all times, but also the cutest and sweetest... if only they'd had more time.

[highslover]

Maeve’s storyline but right!

I have always though the Maeve plot line didn’t made sense and recently I read a fic (spencer reid x reader) where reader was a serial killer of serial rword and I thought how much better that could’ve been.

Maeve’s plot line was weak in many ways. My biggest pet peeve is that it was that aggressive from the start and Spencer did nothing, which I don’t find in character. That meaning her stalker (Diane).

Let’s assume his first consult with Maeve was pretty normal, how could he imagine she had a stalker? But in order to keep talking to her they went through using letters first. And maybe Spencer thought it was romantic and interesting, but pseudonyms? That’s a bit much.

Spencer knew all along about her stalker, he tells Hotch that much after she goes missing. So you are telling me Spencer found out this girl he likes isn’t leaving her house, she is not using her phone and is using letters to communicate with pseudonyms to protect herself and didn’t do something? I agree he might’ve been respecting her wishes, but by this time Spencer has been working with the FBI 9 years, he is not naive as he was, he is a social protector, it just doesn’t makes sense he let it go that far.

Again, from the beginning is crucial here because I don’t think he would’ve let it slide just like that. If it had grown progressively while they were together, yes maybe their attachment would’ve clouded his reasoning, but by the time they started talking Diane had made Maeve quit her job and broke up with her fiancé so??? It just doesn’t make sense for HIS character. I believe that at leasttt he would’ve investigated by himself.

But non of that happened so the plot just doesn’t cut it. Instead, if it would’ve been a serial killer? That’s interesting.

Point 1. A serial killer who kills men that are serial rapist is in many ways human. It’s imposible to not like as audience. And Spencer is often the one who empathizes with the criminals.

Point 2. Her story could’ve been a great episode, we could’ve seen how smart she was (something from Meave’s character) but at the same time how traumatized she was, her story, how evil are the men she kills. She could’ve been the same age as Spence, he could’ve done the interview, connect, blah, blah, blah.

Point 3. I think they could’ve find a way were they didn’t have anything to really hold the case, victims (of the men) not pressing charges and friends who offer alibis for her. So she makes a deal with Spencer because she is also tired and she knows she cannot stop. A letter once a month because she likes his big brain.

Point 4. She is arrested but gets her letter and Spencer gets his, where she is smart and interesting and whatever. Out of nowhere they are writing themselves not just once a month. And they talk every sunday. (Again part of Maeve storyline, everything was there!!!!) (Also I think she could’ve been an assistant for a geneticist and help him with his migraines)

Point 5. And everything is good and they form a bond but Spencer would never admit he likes her and maybe even feels something more, because he is a good guy. But in this time he starts to read every philosopher that has written about good and bad (also talk it with Blake!! best part of the Maeve plot).

Point 6. After this we are only missing her dying and I wish I remember the name of the fic but something similar could happen. In the fic she scapes prison with help and goes to find Spencer because she knows of a human trafficking organization and she wants to liberate them, so she kinda kidnaps Spencer and they go there. Because she wanted to do it, deep down Spencer knows this a suicidal mission for her.

Point 7. They get there, she gets kill by local police but she saves women and children and got to spend her last day or two with Spencer, the only person that made her wished everything she did never happened and maybe she could’ve have a great life.

And ta-da! we traumatized Spencer with an interesting plot that makes sense (at least for me). And far more complex I think, something that maybe even MGG would’ve like. But who knows, is this against copaganda???

[battlekidx2]

Alastor Theory

Okay, I'm gonna throw my hat into the ring when it come to who has Alastor on a leash and I'm not gonna say Lilith.

I think Eve might also be an option for being the one that owns Alastor's soul.

I think the Lilith connection is a bit too obvious and Lilith hates being forced into subservience canonically within the show, so it would be weird if she chained another soul to do her bidding. And Eve is easily the character that would have the most issues with the Morningstar family, heaven, and hell. She was made out of Adam's rib and given the apple by Lilith and Lucifer. She's been a pawn in other people's plans since the beginning. She's the one blamed for original sin and it's clear she's not in heaven. She was the scapegoat while Adam got off relatively Scott free.

She has so many reasons to want to get back at everyone and what better way to gradually gain a foothold without drawing attention to herself than enlisting the services of a sinner in hell?

It’s said that Alastor immediately started taking out overlords that had been dominant for centuries the moment he stepped foot in hell. There has to be a reason for that. It feels too calculated to be a coincidence.

Plus Lilith’s disappearance coinciding with the Alastor's isn’t necessarily a factor against this theory because it can be explained as Eve essentially throwing Alastor into a battle with Lilith where Alastor was injured and had to take time to recover.

His reaction when Zestial said people thought he had been struck down by holy arms was a bit telling to me. The way he took that moment to look away and collect himself to brush it off read as Zestial hitting too close to the mark.

He's super touchy about why he was gone for 7 years and we've seen that Alastor's berserk button is his pride and he dislikes his strength being questioned. He absolutely would not want to admit he was gone because he was recovering.

That comment seemed too pointed by the writers to be completely written off.

Maybe in this battle Eve got Lilith's soul. If she doesn’t why would Lilith be gone from Charlie’s life for seven years? Why wouldn't she return around the same time as Alastor? She seemed to really care about Charlie. Charlie still tries to call her and she doesn’t seem to hold any resentment toward Lilith, so I think there would have to be a reason beyond nebulous plans that's keeping her away.

Alastor also clearly does not have a good relationship to whoever has his soul, so I kind of imagine if it was Lilith he would be a bit more hostile towards Charlie or it would show a bit more in the moments where he was alone or when Charlie isn't looking. (Alastor is the only character this show is truly subtle with)

I just wanted to put my opinion out there because I've seen so many Lilith owns Alastor's soul theories out there and I wanted to offer a different angle.

[tabletopsystem]

I fucking love Mel so much what a fucking character man. Milo is so fucking good at giving her realistic depth.

Spoilers for episode 10

Like the amount of complex feelings in the scene with Tess. She wants to protect her but knows that Tess has probably been getting in more trouble and has likely only gotten sick cuz she's been trying to hold on to Mel. She so clearly wants to just make Tess her family and Tess has wanted the same for so much longer but now she feels guilty because it's taken her so long to see that Tess genuinely does care about her.

She can't bring herself to be totally honest with Tess and tell her that she just wants to leave with her and not deal with any of the consequences of her actions but it's because she is so determined to prove to her friends that she can take responsibility and to prove to herself that she's more than who the Casters made her to be.

At the same time she can't keep lying to her either. She genuinely and deeply cares about her and she knows that she's gotten Tess hurt because she's been lying to her so much. She really wants to connect with her honestly and she knows it's all Tess has ever wanted too. They want to be a family so badly and Mel knows that she's been the one in the way and she's just refusing to keep lying. She's taking responsibility.

And then with the Casters. Knowing that they set her up, knowing that they have been using her and planning to toss her to the side as soon as it was convenient, knowing that they likely would've tried to have killed at least Jaguar Joe and Buck, two people who she cares deeply about, she still chose to spare their lives.

And she genuinely had to think about it for a while. She probably found it hard to justify letting them live, especially after they admitted so openly to how much they hated the lower city, the people she cares about, her. She likely only chose to leave them alive because of how guilty she felt after killing the king.

I think Mel has realised that, despite what everyone else thinks of her, and despite what she's actually done in the past, she is not a killer. She doesn't have it in her to kill people anymore. She did it one time on the promise that it would fix all of her problems and that it would help the entire lower city, and it was still the worst feeling in the world for her. It haunted her despite her belief that it was the right thing to do.

I love also that Milo has clearly thought deeply about this too. She talked in the rolled about Mel's internal conflicts and I feel like it just showed a level of insight into her own character that I don't see from a lot of people who have been playing TTRPGs for years.

I love Milo Mumbles I really hope she stays a main player. Idk if I'd want her in Riptide cuz we're like, over 100 episodes into the show where all the characters are very intrinsically tied to sea and the sky and what lies beyond and it'd be hard to introduce a new PC and have them feel as impactful, but honestly, I could see them doing it. She is GOOD at making characters and Grizzly is obviously fucking amazing at world building. I'm excited for PD to return so I can see Milo's toy soldier character, they seem so fucking interesting just in concept. They're a soldier, they lost limbs and had them replaced with prosthetics that made them a better soldier. They must be fucked up by war. Is their character going to introduce a grander commentary on war in superhero settings? Cuz I'd fucking LOVE to see that!

[tiov1]

Obito and Rin's relationship

I just read a text from a user talking about ObiRin and honestly, I was impressed that there were 6 shares and almost 80 likes on the comment. I wonder: do people even remember what Obito and Rin's relationship was like? Because from people's feedback, I can see that they clearly don't. The comment said that Obito and Rin were not best friends and that Obito's feelings for her were "platonic", and that her behavior towards him was "no big deal". So, I ask you: what does that mean to you? Romantic or platonic love?

So I'm left wondering: Are people really looking at this relationship and not coming to the obvious conclusion that Rin Nohara loved Obito Uchiha romantically and that her feelings for Kakashi were purely platonic due to his prodigy abilities in the same way that Karin and Ino had for Sasuke? This is surreal to me.

Have you ever stopped to think about the parallels between ObiRin and NaruHina or do you prefer to confirm more information on Wikipedia, where anyone can edit and write whatever they want?

I don't think that their friendship was platonic, precisely because of the romantic reaction that Obito and Rin had and that was concretized in their reunion scene… making a direct connection with the kiss attempt made by Rin when she was still alive.

Platonic love is a type of love that involves feeling affection, admiration or even passion for someone, but without wanting to have a romantic or physical relationship with that person. In this sense, I can say that this was the case with Kakashi and Rin, since they literally had nothing special.

She felt admiration for Kakashi because of his abilities and fame as a genius, but she never tried to kiss Kakashi once and even when Kakashi died, she wasn't there for him, but for Obito she was.

Pink (meaning): pink means romance (as a primary meaning)

After her rejection, we never saw Rin try anything romantic with Kakashi or even form a solid relationship with him. In fact, their relationship went backwards instead of forwards to something more “meaningful”. They literally became just “teammates” and didn't have the same level of intimacy as she had with Obito.

Obito and Rin's relationship:

Kakashi and Rin's relationship:

So when someone tells me that their feelings (Obito and Rin) weren't romantic, even if they didn't show it verbally, you could clearly see that they liked each other beyond friendship, and not something platonic.

Notice the clear change in Rin Nohara's personality/decision and feelings in these 2 scenes:

I'm not a “romance genius”, but there are things that are too obvious not to be interpreted as romance. Besides, Kakashi has shown us countless times that what he felt for Rin was pure companionship in various situations. Even after her death, Kakashi saw her as a hallucination and saw her in other girls, but even though he had the opportunity to “date” girls similar to Rin, he never tried anything and never addressed any girl similar to Rin romantically, but rather, totally in a sense of companionship.

Even though they resembled Rin, Kakashi never even tried anything with any of them and thought of her only as a friend, literally. He himself only used the word “friend” to refer to Rin. As, for example, in episode 354, where Kakashi says: “I couldn't protect my friend.”

Or even when Sasuke said to Kakashi: “What if I had killed the person you love the most?!”

And Kakashi's response? “Those people have already… been killed.”

Kakashi has literally never, at any time in his life, seen Rin in a romantic light. Not before and not after… but Rin? I'm sorry, but it was very clear that she saw Obito romantically, she just didn't admit it to herself.

So when someone says that Rin and Obito weren't best friends and that she didn't see Obito as a potential boyfriend or even like him romantically, I'm like:

Obito and Rin were not only best friends since forever, but they also loved each other. It's so obvious that they would have ended up together romantically, that it really amazes me how there are people who actually have doubts about them in that sense. Obito & Rin is literally synonymous with romance and genuine love for each other. There are people who compare Obito and Rin with Kakashi and Guy, saying that their friendship was "similar", but for the love of the gods!!! Honestly, that has nothing to do with it. The friendship between both pairs was VERY different. In Kakashi and Guy you see friendship and rivalry, but in Obito and Rin you see love and romance.

So I'm sorry, but anyone who compares Kakashi and Guy's relationship with Obito and Rin's is simply clueless. By the way, did Guy ever try to kiss Kakashi? Not that I can recall. Neither Kakashi nor Guy are gay. Besides, it was very clear that Rin's feelings for Kakashi literally disappeared when Kakashi confessed that he abandoned her at the end of the Gaiden saga (she only liked him for his abilities, and only had love and intimacy with Obito).

And then:

She could try to disguise it, but I've never seen Rin support Kakashi the way she supported Obito.

“Rin never loved Obito romantically. She only had eyes for Kakashi! Obito never had a chance with her. He was a failure and Kakashi was a prodigy!” Let's see what Rin thinks about that.

Rin, after waiting 20 years to be reunited with only (Obito Uchiha), left Kakashi, her “love” behind forever.

It doesn't take much to realize the obvious difference.