#she‘s always forgiving and wants the best for people and her religion also kinda I feel like causes her to put others before her
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#so what‘s the deal with me feelings pity for my mother#or feeling sorry#is this a normal thing?#i always noticed that she was stressed or distracted or confused#and whenever I noticed she did something that wasn‘t necessary or rather did harm than any good#even if it was only a small thing#i started feeling so guilty and sorry#had recurring dreams about feeling sorry for my parents#RIGHT NOW the guilt is sucking my soul out of my body#she couldn’t get someone to be witness if#of* one of her church blessings/procedures so that she gets witnessed becoming one of them and following their rules#even tho it actually seems harmless to me I still don’t feel comfortable doing it and others too#but that church thing makes her happy it’s like the only constant besides work in her life#also I’m no angel and said and did some bad stuff to her/about her#she‘s always forgiving and wants the best for people and her religion also kinda I feel like causes her to put others before her#not that she always does this she also remembers how she sometimes needs to focus more on herself#am i putting myself in the position of the mother rn? are those thoughts that one had as a child? am I putting too much pressure on myself#on herself? probably most definitely#why do I feel so sad about my parents#so sad and guilty
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