#she would definitely be from and still live in Fontaine tho

[cheeomi]

Pouty

[oh-my-may]

LET'S TALK GENSHIN AND REMURIA AND ARLECCHINO BEFORE I FORGET AND WE'RE ALREADY IN SECOND HALF OF THE PATCH WHY DOES TIME FLY WHEN YOU'RE AN ADULT

I'm gonna start the post with a few paragraphs I wrote just a few days after the patch went live:

So I finished the first Remuria world quest - it was beautiful. And really not as long as I first expected it to be. I probably could have finished it on the first day if I wouldn't have been as tired as I was

First of all the new map is beautiful. You'd think after 3? patches of map expansions where we already got underwater stuff it would feel repetetive but somehow it looks and feels different and refreshing. Maybe because majority of the map are caves where you can walk normally or they're ruins... idk.

I couldn't help but draw parallels between Remuria and HSR's Penacony tho, especially look-wise, the talk of a dreamscape and the theme of music. Especially now after finishing Penacony 2.2 I can't help but feel the two are very similar in certain aspects... the motive of Harmony and Song and Peace and saving a people and Gods? Also the way Remuria looks is so similar to certain things in Penacony? I already said rhis in my post on HSR, this is absolutely no hate whatsoever. I reckon there's only so much you can do with these motives? It's interesting how differently it looks in both games tho.

So yeah, Remuria is beautiful. The music is an out of body experience and encapsulates the whole thing perfectly. I haven't explored all of the map yet, but I like the new mechanisms a lot. The floating books look so cool and just generally the significance of music through it all... *sigh* it's so enjoyable.

So far for Remuria... i definitely missed a few things I wanted to say but it's been like 2 weeks since I played this and I definitely forgot something haha

AS FOR ARLECCHINO THO

First of all she's broken omg. It is kind lf annoying that it'll take weeks to max out her talents, rn for me she's sitting at crowned NA and skill and burst are level 7 each. But she still hits for like over 50k with each normal attack when she has a bond of life. Don't even get me started on her with Yelan MY GOD.

Okay with that out of the way let me talk about her story quest. First of all I find it very intriguing that hyv gave up on the usual pattern of having the second weekly boss for a nation be tied to the Archon and their respective second story quest (besides Mond ig)... i mean yeah Fontaine's archon situatipn is very peculiar but technically Neuvilette has taken over the role for now, right? Neither him nor Furina getting a second story quest makes me think Neuvi's probably gonna get his way later because it'll be HUGE. Again I wanna say that lore wise Neuvi is my fav character... HES JUST SO FNDNDBDN. And Furina is probably gonna get a pretty "random" one at one point kinda like Yoimiya did or Cyno... like its gonna be a good quest but it'a gonna be random. ANYWAY

I wonder how much different I would habe perceived the quest if I hadn't watched the Animated Short about Arlecchino that they put on Youtube... like it's her whole backstory? I could see where the quest was going right from the beginning because of it... that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, tho

Childe's little surprise cameo made me so happy c: MY BOY. He's alive snd well AND IN FONTAINE. Let me remind ypu we last officially saw him in the last Atchon quest gwtting yeeted into a black hole by Skirk. Then it was mentioned at the end that he was being treated and sent gome to Snezhnaya. Well...

The whole cryptic talk between Arle and Childe was quite interesting... so this project by the Fatui, right? (Forgot the name rn bc it's been a few days since I played the quest) Is it fonna be significant for Natlans story? What does it entail?? THE TEASE NNNNGNNGHH

I wonder if at some point in the game we're actually gonna see Lyney become the new head of House of the Hearth. Like... it's mentioned quite a lot in his story as well as in everything that has tp do with the House and Sröecchino herself... I wonder 🤔

Throughout the story I was reminded that one of the first things we heard about her (Childes voiceline that came out in like??? 3.0 or so???). It was that she would turn her back on and betray the Harbingers (AND THE TSARISTA) without second thought. She even says this herself in her voicelines. I just wonder what her ultimate goal is? To free herself from the curse? Which btw they tell us nothing about in the story. Story is all about the House and its inner workings and Arle's feelings about it and plans for the future (which I love btw but still not quite understand)... we also casually get told that Arle is not even that old??? Like the whole thing with Crucabena is so recent that Freminet remembers her???? Amd Arle was maybe a Teenager when she killed her so like??? She's only around 10 years older than the kids????

So how come she's a descendant from Khaenri'ah? I don't know if I read somewhere abput it or if its a rumor but not confirmed or if its said in her personal story which I haven't read yet but... she'a from the crimson moon dynasty? Or has some ties to it? And her curse is definitely related to it BUT WHAT IS HER CURSE EXACTLY. WHY DOES SHE HAVE IT. If she's only in maybe her late 20s she couldn't have been an actual Khaenriahn citizen (same as Kaeya and he still gives me the same headache thinking about this) so how does it all tie together in the end?? Does it have to do with the God of time maybe??? (Nevermind if this is talked about in her personal story in her profile I haven't read that yet)

So yeah... the fight woth her was so cool. The animation??? I saw people get upset about the fact that Traveler couldn't beat her but I actually love that?? Like... She'a #4 of the Harbingers and has some curse probably tied to Khaenriah and she KILLED A HARBINGER WHEN SHE WAS A TEENAGER??? Traveler nlt being this almighty MC makes them so much mlre likeable like yeah... they are obv far from having their actual power back? It took us ... how many times to fight Shuki No Kami before we could defeat it in the final try to learn all the patterns? The game wants to tell us that there's much more powerful enemies in Teyvat and rhis is only the beginning. Let me tell you yeah we beat Signora but it was Raiden who killed her... it was Zhongli who subdued Azhdaha. We only healed Apep with Nahidas help. Traveler has never been able to easily defeat these big enemies, they always had help. Yeah they have been getting stronger, they've been getting access to more elements but the bis enemies are just getting stronger and bigger too... I wonder where that will lead. Maybe the twins are only gonna get their true power bavk once they're united... ANYWAY

Her weekly boss fight is cool too. Using different mechanisms again, with the whole Bond of Life thing and all. She does this one attack in her second phase that I just... can't get behind tho. Someone always has to be the victim, THE SACRIFICE, to get me through haha. Idk how to dodge or avoid that attack. The one where she floats above the arena and then these bombs? Idk? Come down and basically crash down on the whole arena and I haven't found a spot where you can aboid getting hit and therefore killed immediately idk.

So yeah that's all for now. Very excited to play Cyno's second story quest. Heard only good things so far about it, which is good because I really didn't like his first one 💀 probably gonna get around to play it one of these days. Same as with the rest of Remuria exploration, gonna need mlre Clorinde funds :3

(Gonna add screenshots later, it's been so long that the ones I took aren't saved in the PS App anymore 💀)

[narwhalandchill]

uhhh anyway. so like yesterday was my first time ever doing story day 1 and i have many Thoughts about the AQ. mostly positive unfortunately my major gripes do relate to the childe/narwhal situation which kinda dampens the overall experience more than any other part being underwhelming would given (gestures in general direction of self). like we all know the multitude of diseases i have on the subject 💀

dunno how much of a complete nonsense rambley writeup thisll be i think i might take some time to sort out my overall thoughts and write sth more coherent specifically on childe/narwhal stuff, maybe leave out some other aspects i have more pointed thoughts on as well so this wont get mega long but eh lets see. this just all kinds of thoughts i have for now And its a mess so Beware

anyway. firstly. as scarred as i am by melus and silver. Its also just. holy shit man theyre truly just straight up tapdancing on teppeis grave like THIS is how you write NPC deaths in an actually emotionally impactful way. dunyarzad was a massive glow up already in terms of NPC writing in general but she didnt die so. but like the way their characters and bond to both callas and navia is built up and how the writers actually managed to make them feel like such dynamic people even if their roles are ultimately quite straightforward made their fates just... genuinely heartbreaking like what the fuck 😭😭😭 AND THE WAY THEY STILL SAVED NAVIA FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE AND SAID THEIR FAREWELLS I JUST. I CANT. i just teared up thinking about it again

idk what could be said about navia that hasnt been said a gigabillion times before like. Wow. she is just. Truly the moment. like she fucking blindsided my ass in 4.0 bc i wasnt expecting anything like how dynamic and compelling and complex her arc and characterization has been like. everything about navia her resolve her grit her experiences and her bravery and stubbornness just feels so incredibly human and raw and she is just? a wonderful character i never foresaw falling in love with her this much like truly. and she delivered JUST as hard in 4.2 too like if it werent for navia being the conduit through which we first experience the devastation of poisson i dont think it wouldve ever hit as hard as it did. i just wanna comfort her shes already been thru so much yet i also admire her insistence to keep going and keep living like man 😭😭😭 give her a happy story quest hoyo idgaf if it gets called shallow or some bs she deserves a break!!!!!

i think some ppl are disappointed by arles relative lack of presence in fontaine overall and while i get that i can genuinely say that its been so fucking refreshing to have an AQ centering on a conflict thats not entirely or mostly fatui based. its not like the weight or intimidation factor of arlecchinos presence has been any lesser just bc shes been largely on the same side as us. like personally i just Really enjoyed seeing her characterization throughout. the way shes been just so reasonable thus far makes me extra excited for whenever she might actually snap (at least hopefully she will). like both childe and scara think shes fucking insane?????? but yea. i also really enjoy arles dynamic with the HoH kids too like. i do think she genuinely cares for them in a way but i highly doubt thats all there is to it. and thats really neat. goes for things like her help to spina di rosula and poisson too; theres definitely strings attached to that aid lmao. even if arle has no particularly malicious designs in mind, shes a harbinger. like cmon. and i really like that!!

i dont have like. that extensive thoughts abt what i call the . uhhh. this is mean but extended cast of act 5 JKJKDWJKDJKAJK like HoH gang, clorinde, sigewinne, wrio. tho i do very much appreciate that clorinde dodged the sara allegations for good like. it was looking a little bit unfortunate in 4.0. her role wasnt super major but i love her english VA and this kind of grounded sort of character she ultimately is. also sigewinne jumpscare during furinas trial i love her so much.

mona n nicoles thing was unfortunately mostly a whateverburger for me bc. im sorry im not that interested in hexenzirkel lmao i feel like such an outlier in any lore discussion circles bc im just not that hype about them (gold is an icon however) idk why. it was neat, it happened, didnt bring any mega hype. what i liked the most was honestly just the talk with mona about destiny and fighting against it and all. she really felt like a friend trying to help us navigate our thoughts on this insane horrible situation going on!!

in terms of plot things uhhh i went in mostly blind? as to the actual events. i had spoiled myself a bit on some specific aspects (my own fault) but ultimately most had no effect on how much i enjoyed everything. also lowering my expectations on the. ahem. worries i had abt childe that unfortunately came true so i was less let down on the spot wjjkajkwdjkwd. my biggest issue was actually that i had to progress lyneys story quest TWO FUCKING TIMES by a pretty notable amount bc it was blocking locations. and that dumbass office drama world quest like i was morbing.

a particular standout moment (beyond the Obvious. i need not name it THE LAUGH THE FUCKING THUMBS DOWN also singed FL can kinda lowkey 100% absolutely get it) for me was when i was so invested in our conversation with furina in poisson and in the magic box that i actually fucking forgor about the whole trap scheme thing even existing and then the box fell open and i was like WAIT WHAT THE FUCK and started laughing for like a solid 5 minutes i was caught so off guard. what an incredible moment. bc like. when the thing we were hiding in w furina started shaking i was just hell yeah narwhal modcheck? narwhal modcheck? bc obviously i would. and didnt question for a second that it could be something else. like the trap we were LITERALLY plotting to set up just a bit earlier it actually killed me. altho the fact that one of the cursed lyney quest situations were in between the scheming scene and the poisson segment prolly had to do with it. anyway it was just really funny

i think this post is gonna take me 287382 years to finish if im gonna go into the like furina character arc situation and her trial and focalors and all that shit super in depth (+ narwhal/skirk things) but like. BELIEVE me i fucking loved it so much like its so awful and painful and horrible and just. best written archon easily. zhongli n venti i think r very well written but theyre p static characters bc oldies so its a bit different. raiden is. inazuma moment no comment needed. nahida is good but tbh i never truly reconciled with the way rukkha getting irminsuled sorta just erased the central conflict behind her inferiority complex so it somewhat ruined her character arc for me even if it did make me cry and i do love her chara overall. but furina i think they executed the whole setup and reveals and everything so incredibly well its insane like. god. 500 years........ and like. the way furinas arc just flops everything uve known about her and the interactions uve had with her sideways and turns it upside down realizing the predicament shes been in and what shes been grappling with. its just incredible man. harrowing but incredible like they truly delivered on that one. like that portion of the finale was just really well done

anyway not all thoughts i have by any means but whatever. ive just been Thinking. overall had a great time with the AQ n cutscenes in particular are only getting better and better, i thiiiiink this one tops sumeru for me? but like its sorta unfair bc i was never a scara stan whereas. even a narratively mishandled narwhal is a fucking world-devouring narwhal. unfair advantage. childe being there at all even if i have my gripes is too much points in favor KJWJKWJKDWDJKJK. theres things that make me really hopeful for the future writing but also things that concern me. so its an interesting situation rn. but im glad it went as ambitious as it did even if my fave got arguably sidelined the most. just hoping they actually do sth more with childe sooner than later if they want to leave all those loose ends unaddressed in 4.2. interlude rights PLEASE

[lostacelonnie]

Definitely understandable i easily lose the energy to talk with people when i have to interact with family. So you're good. Ah yes the dont worry about it approach my favorite. Especially when what you do in regards to you is your business. Well between last message & now i forgot so thats a good indicator of how thats goin. Beaches over here are hit & miss but the closer ones to me arent as popular thankfully. Hm. What is a2 knowledge & how is it getting worse? I adore colder climates heat is not kind to me at all. Tents are. Well. Some are decently priced depending on how big of one you get. Oh i definitely recommend going with friends its a lot of fun. Ive been slacking a bit on the game but so far clara is workin for me. Probably wont have enough for kafka. Oooh good luck to you with all your pulls. Story spoilers aren't a major thing for me because the how is always still fun. Definitely understand some just dont want em at all. Every time i try minecraft im like. Never sure what i want to do. So kudos to you for stickin with the game & having fun. Smaller cities are nice love having close stuff without being in like. A big city. Ah dang i hope you find that dye again in the future. Makeup is hard it should be easier for those who wanna wear it. Ive been so busy i missed. So many events whoops. Problem of bein stuck level gaining to continue story. Motivation is hard to come by. I busy myself reading or looking up new science discoveries when i dont wanna leave my room.

thankies ahdhfjfj!!! and, once again, apologies for the late reply. my grandma fortunately left a while ago but i was feeling Cranky and didnt wanna sound Annoyed With Existing ahdjfh. still kinda dying inside since i return to school in 2 weeks but fuck it we ball we stay silly etc. COMING BACK. yeah like "nobodys gonna know-" "theyre gonna know." "how would they know". and understandable sjdkfgjk consider this your reminder then. and ahh fair i live pretty far away from the sea so i dont really know good Spots i guess. BUT i do like lake beaches since theyre way more quiet most of the time. and basically im not exactly sure in how many countries it applies, im thinking most of europe? but essentially language knowledge here is divided by levels, a1 -> a2 -> b1 -> b2 -> c1 -> c2 with c2 being the highest. and well i guess theres also a0 but thats just when you start. a2 is just speaking Basic English, so like enough to survive if you go to an english speaking country but not much more. for reference, by tests ive done, my level is like between b2 and c1 so very decent but i dont know most of the "fancier" and more specific words. and with it "getting worse" i mean that [at least from what our teacher told us] the textbooks are getting easier and easier so people are leaving school not actually knowing almost anything. yeah SAME its been so hot here recently so ive been Suffering. and yeah i know but me and my mother dont really know if its a good idea to buy one since we dont really go camping anyway. but maybe when im an adult im gonna get more into it, esp if i have ppl to do it with. and ah thats nice to hear!!! i DID manage to get kafka and her lightcone so ive been having fun with her recently. actually overpowered. tho i heard shes quite f2p friendly. and oh understandable!! i unfortunately used to be on tiktok where they spoil EVERYTHING and its impossible to avoid so ever since then ive been extra careful. tho i kinda feel that way ab fontaine rn [cos i ended up actually being kinda interested] since i cant download it rn but still am excited 4 the story despite knowing little unconnected bits. and fair, minecraft def isnt for everyone but its very good for chilling out at least to me. rn im procrastinating on beating the ender dragon so im just maxxing out my gear rn. and yeah but im still gonna see whether or not i wanna live a long way from my family. oh well i still have time. also thanks!!! i have not been successful yet but i bought another dye so im gonna keep you updated on that. and ahhhh understandable, ive been Grinding so i didnt have that problem sjfkg i should build my sampo but. ah. i hate grinding artifacts. pretty excited for the 1.3 simulated universe update tho!!! esp since im really curious about the aeons so seeing more of the propagation is sth im looking forward to. but good luck!!! and VERY real i like doing wikipedia deep dives esp about marine animals. im a fishpilled oceancel but i unfortunately suffer from Not Remembering Anything Ive Read Ever.

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Untucked (S09E05) Reality Stars: The Musical Airdate: April 22, 2017 @wowreport @youtube Ratings: 343,000 (in just 4 days!) Score: 8/10 **********SPOILERS BELOW********** Im going to get to Eureka in a minute but since I've already addressed it wholeheartedly in the 'Drag Race' reviews... I really want re-address something that I think people are missing and the producers are exploiting. I don't know what it is on the nose, by any means, but Nina is going through something serious. I want her so bad to pull it together, because I think as an audience member all of us saw just how talented Nina was from the get-go. And if you remember correctly she talked in depth in the first first or second episode about how she was really at the end of her rope. I get that. I get saying to yourself... This is it, this it my last chance... And if I don't make it here then I have nothing. I battle depression, dependency, addiction and I've had to learn how to live with it, how to cope and navigate through the bullshit the best way I know how and still find a way to shine through. Looking at Nina, I can sense that it's not just depression tho. I felt uncomfortable how they exploited her obvious issues with watching Shea take a part that she felt should be hers and excel so well in it. You can call that petty or whatever you want, but then producers who pick up on this kind of poke the judges into comparing he two, giving them opposite critiques, using similar language to get some sort of reaction or rivalry brewing now that Eureka is gone and he and Trinity don't have that legit beef to make good television from. I want to see the producers pull back on this one... Say what you will, but mental health is everything... And something inside of Nina isn't right at this very moment. I really hope and pray that next episode, instead of egging this on, Ru takes Nina aside and attempts to lift him up. At its bare bones, that's what this show is supposed to be about. Not kicking someone while they are down for a small spike in ratings that you might not see anyway cuz you have the main show on Friday nights. Whatever it is, Nina... I want you to know that even though this already filmed this I recognize that look in your eye. That posture, that exasperation... Its something that I know all too well. I'm glad that Shea came up to you and said those things. I hope you heard them. Yes you are representing queens of color, you are also representing a talented, creative, and capable human being. And whatever it is that has created this brick wall you throw up in front of yourself right when you take off running, I want you to know that you are will always be bigger than that. No matter how this ends, you have already shown us things we have never seen before, so you made it. You're here... and this is the penultimate, the best is yet to come. Depression is a bitch, self-sabotaging is a bitch... But you can overcome whatever it is playing over and over in your head. So much love to you, and like I said when you walked in the workroom from the very beginning, I have my favorite. Win or lose this competition, you've already jumped over the biggest hurdle. Much love! ❤️🙌🏼❤️ Alexis, you too... You doing too well all the sudden to be blaming everyone else for your faults. And what we're talking about here, is something totally different that what's going on with Nina. You better man up in a pretty dress and start taking responsibility for your own actions. My step-dad did a lot of fucked up things when I was younger, but he redeemed himself and rose from one of the largest holes anyone has ever created for himself. And if I took away one thing from him and his inspiring road from complete fuck-up to total redemption is you always call things what they are, accept this things you cannot change, and know just what the fuck you can change... And never EVER blame other people for your own mistakes... That way no mater what you do, you will always be able to bounce back. Eureka, I've already been over this with you on the main Drag Race review... You are Top 3 Material. This is fucking bullshit. VH1 and whatever production company and ignorant genius who came up with a challenge that injured not one but two queens should be fired. Thank you Ru, for inviting Eureka back for S10, because you know damn well (no matter how you perceive his personality) that he had the goods to make it to the end on his own merits and talent. 10 Queens remain, but there's still quite the handful that aren't up to par to even make Final 6, so let's start knocking them out and definitely NO surprise and bringing anyone else back! Cynthia Lee Fontaine was quite enough... And most of us would have rather seen Willam or Trixxie any damn way! Let's go!

[pazii]

here are some bits about eleanore that i’ve managed to come up with!

name: eleanore (ella, el, ellie [hates that nickname])

- comes from fontaine and is in 19-22 (her age will depend on who i end up pairing her with)

- she is a runaway! i know fontaine is supposed to be based on france and when i think of france, i think of their historical aristocracy, so a lot of her story is based on the idea that fontaine runs the same way

- ella is from a noble family of vision wielders (almost all of them are healers and have dendro/hydro visions) who are high up in the aristocracy and are VERY loyal to the hydro archon

- ella did NOT enjoy high society life, but she did as she was told and followed her family’s transitions and the rule of the hydro archon

- she dreamed of being free to do and be what she wanted, but she wasn’t even sure what she wanted to do or who she wanted to be, since she was never given the choice

- corsets and fancy parties and people fussing over her was too constraining and it made her miserable, but she bore this all without a word, since that’s what she was supposed to do

- since this strictness was forced upon her from a young age, she finds it very difficult to indulge in her desires for freedom

- she escaped her home when she was 17 with one destination: mondstadt

- what better place to try and be as free as she could?

- unfortunately, she found it hard to get rid of her uptight nature... it was quite difficult for her to try and act as freely as she wanted when she’d spent her entire life never being able to make a decision of her own. she was still rather rigid and proper and she is a bit awkward sometimes, and gets embarrassed extremely easily

- thankfully, a certain tone-deaf bard comes along to help her with that!

- she does have a bit of wit and she’s quite charming (she had to learn how to woo potential suitors or something at those silly parties) she’s still very prim and proper though, nothing too scandalous (she’s outraged at some of the things kaeya has said to her at the angel’s share before. absolutely improper!)

- she doesn’t like the taste of alcohol so her and diluc spend quality time at angel’s share watching the drunks make fools of themselves (mostly venti and kaeya). ella also finds comfort in that diluc has been to fontaine and knows about her culture. she finds she can relax easily around him

- has a HUGE soft spot for kids. this is how she initially meets both jean and albedo! klee escaped solitary confinement and mother figure 1 and brother figure 1 come searching for her, only to find ella sitting in front of klee with lots of colorful clips and flowers in her hair

- ella quite literally bumped into sucrose while she was bringing tea for her, albedo, and timaeus. she spilled it all over ella’s dress and she felt terribly guilty and promised to create some sort of cleaner that would rid the dress of any stains! a few hours later, sucrose returned with the cleaner as promised

- mona and ella are roommates. enough said. (i think ella would be interested in her since she has a hydro vision and she’s also heard of mona from her astrological column in fontaine’s magazines. they bicker often, but ultimately get along quite well!)

- upon arrival in mondstadt, she introduces herself as ella (since word of the missing noble eleanore was being quickly spread through the seven nations) and the nickname el eventually arises (venti is the only one to call her ellie and she despises it)

i don’t plan on shipping ella and venti! i think they’ll be quite wonderful friends though, and venti will help ella find her free spirit inside her! lots of ella scolding venti for doing silly things and venti dragging her out to windrise to enjoy the meadow under his tree.

i can’t decide who to pair her with at the moment though... diluc, albedo, or kaeya... mona or sucrose !? ughhhh i think all of them could fit her well in one way or another? i came up with little headcanons of how they would be connected to one another briefly but kept it very vague since i can’t make decisions.

i also don’t really have a story about how she got her vision! i know i want her to be out of place within her family, so she has a cryo vision that is more geared towards battle instead of dendro and hydro visions which are more geared towards healing. i think she’s going to be a bow user, but if i change my mind to anything, it’ll maybe be a sword.

i can give some info about mai in a little bit if you want hehe. her stuff is more head canons and relationship bits. even tho i know her backstory, i haven’t written much of it out just yet.

- adeptus anon 💖

Woah!! Another beautifully written OC! I swear all these Fontaine OCs is getting me excited for the nation itself!! I really like the idea for her story! It's quite intriguing! I'm glad she gets to live in Mondstadt freely with her new friends 💕

Picking the right characters for an OC can be hard sometimes! Don't rush, take your time to think it through!! Random ideas just pop out out of nowhere sometimes! That happens to me a lot haha

Would love to see how she progresses definitely!! Keep up the great work! <33

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Drag Race (S09E02) She Done Already Done Brought It On Airdate: March 31, 2017 @vh1 Ratings: 0.754 Million :: 0.4 18-49 Demo Share Score: 4/10 **********SPOILERS BELOW********** 2 episodes in and I'm still a little bit confused about the direction of S9 of Drag Race, even after that absolutely electric, heartfelt admission from Nina Bo'Nina Brown in the still YouTube deserted, stripped-down version of World of Wonder's 'Untucked'... One that must be seen to be believed and one that should shame both VH1 & Logo into moving the forgotten gem back into the timeslot directly behind the first airing of Drag Race. These are two shows that need to be watched together, desperately. You can't have one without the other, you just can't. After all, so much is focused on the competition aspect of the show in this hour, and such heavy, 'fun', sometimes 'trifling' pop-style editing really leaves us in the dark about who these queens are... I mean who they *TRULY* are and what motivates them to only do what they do, but be who they are. This is something we're all desperate to know. *TRULY* We start out (S09E02) 'She Already Done Brought It On' with revealing what we all pretty much already knew 'Ms Kuku' Cynthia Lee Fontaine is back to serve up her own unique brand of Puerto Rican, Texan-Transplant, Cancer Castrating realness... And we have #JusticeForKuku and #KickCancerInTheKuku for all those people who don't live in heavily Latin populated areas and are unable to make out Cynthia's perfectly relatable and understandable accent. Sorry this is a constant sore spot for me, being from Miami, and for the record I understand Cubans speaking 'Cubish' better than I do taking me to the Appalachian Mountains and dropping me deep in a holler and asking me to translate. I don't want it to be something constantly brought up or something that's an issue. Accents are accents, and in this melting pot of a country we call America, you better open your ears, or at least not let someone's accent be a major critique that's brought up over and over again. Our guest judges are The B-52s (minus Keith Strickland, yes I'm a New Wave nerd) and for some reason an extremely brief appearances by a Lisa Kudrow, who apparently 'ran into Ru out in the lot' and is just there to rehash some painful catchphrases from HBO's 'The Comeback', she does her 'third times a charm shtick, and Ru acknowledges her influence on some of his own catchphrases that he uses on the show and in the workroom... But that's it. Lisa Kudrow disappears as fast she walked in. It's just disappointing... If you advertise a star as big as Lisa Kudrow, I expect much more than what we were given. Either way, she and Ru, mainly Ru, ok so just Ru, announce that the contestants will be splitting them into two teams, The B-52 Bombers and RuPaul's Glamazons. They are going to have to endure a series of physically challenging exercises and become the cheerleaders that (most) of them (thought) dreamed about being, but their parents most likely decided it would make them even more so obviously gay. That sounds like I'm being an asshole with that comment, but I'm not, and some of the queens even confirm it. Trust me, it's a thing. That's why most male cheerleaders are straight. If last week's episode was a spotlight for Atlanta-based queen Nina Bo'Nina Brown, then this week it was Echo Park, California native Valentina's turn to take the spotlight, but it wasn't planned, bitch just stole it. Looks like we got some competition up in this piece after all! From the rough and tough practice to the tumble-centric challenge to the runway, Valentina was the clear stand-out, despite having only 10 months of experience under her belt. Hey... When you got it, you got it! You know what I'm saying? And for the record, Valentina has the special something, that 'It-Factor' that can't be manufactured, that can't be learned, taught or bought. It's something you're born with or you aren't. There were other standouts, but none that seemed to slay both the challenge and the runway, and yes Ru is looking for someone who can do it all... Be the whole (tucked) package. Speaking of packages, Jaymes Mansfield missed the delivery deadline. Ru assures us that her audition tape was incredible, and I believe her... Oh, I hope they do show a bit of it on this week's 'Untucked'... But the thing is that Jaymes Mansfield is someone who is very much a 'YouTube' or 'Vlog' queen... A quick search will show you all you need to know. She released a video called 'Im Quitting Drag' (Spoiler Alert: She Isn't) just 5 hours before writing this, so somewhere in the ballpark on 2:30am EST, 1:30 Central (you know, because she's from Milwaukee). She gives us a peak as to who she would've done if she would've made it to the 'Snatch Games' competition and gives us her best Rebel Wilson, just with a British accent instead of Rebel's native Australian rub, which she explains with a comedic twist that Rebel is on set in London doing a Kate Middleton biopic and she's in character doing a bit of method acting. It's actually kinda funny, but it's obvious that coming up through YouTube and Vlogging doesn't produce the same kind of confident Queen that endless nights in the club does. Charlie Hides may be the exception to the rule as she fumbled the challenge as well, but she at least made that runway her bitch. The differences are stark, Jaymes is 26 and Charlie is 52... There's an experience difference and while Charlie does a lot of vlogging, she originally got her start doing personal appearances... And I simply don't expect a 52 y/o drag queen to be slay a physically demanding cheerleading challenge... That runway look tho... I hate to use Ru's Ruisms but GAG. There are some impressive runway looks and we see a lot of personality bleed through in the challenge, but I'm still more excited to see the Untucked this morning than I was to watch this episode. I know it will give me more of a sense of who these people are, who I want to root for, and so forth. Kimora and Jaymes Mansfield hit the Bottom 2 with a thud and I must say Ru most definitely picked the correct 2 to lip sync for their lives. Kimora indeed faded into the background during the challenge and her 'White Party' runway looked like what you would see crawl off of a party boat after an all-nighter in Miami's white trash city sister, Ft Lauderdale. If that sounds harsh, I apologize, I'm sure Kimora is just lovely but that editing sure didn't do her any favors and I don't forgive her for that outfit, I just don't. Honestly, if Jaymes Mansfield wasn't so obviously in over her head and clearly had nothing else to offer this specific platform *at this time*, I would've sent Kimora home. Kimora has a lot to make up for, a LOT to redeem, because this performance simply was not up to what we've come to expect from RuPaul's Drag Race standards and further more I'm not even quite sure how she made it to the cast. That's you're cue to make me eat my words, Kimora, that's how this competition thing works... And if you turn it out, I'll gladly retract my words and praise you for a job well done... But judging by that overall performance in the challenge, that 2nd rate, small town, post boat party realness that you served up on the runway, last week's episode, and that yawn inducing lip sync, the time you have on this show is very much limited.