#she works at a pizza place so we get pizza basically every other night

[sbc-movedaway]

Mom said she’s bringing pizza home for dinner and I can’t stop laughing cuz it reminded me of this thing I rbed on main earlier 😭

[girliism]

in which you and tashi go through the trials of ivf.

you and tashi were both career driven women adding a baby in the mix wasn’t something the two of you wanted to do right away, but being married for three years now every time you watched her interact with kids something in you yearned to have one of your own.

pregnancy consumes your mind. it seems like everyone you meet is pregnant or trying and you’re weirdly jealous. “tashi?” she hums at you. “what do think about having a baby?” tashi freezes in the middle of the aisle. now probably wasn’t the best time for this conversation, in the grocery store shopping to restock for the week. “um, i think having a baby would be a lot of work.” tashi stands up straighter and begins pushing the cart again. “yes, but i basically work from home already and we’d have our mothers to help us.” you could see in tashi’s face how hard she was thinking about this. “ok, and how would we get this baby?” you guys were stopped in the pasta aisle. “so glad you asked.” tashi liked when you got excited about things. “there’s of course always adoption but while reading i found this thing called reciprocal ivf. we’d take your egg and put it in my womb so the baby has a biological connection to both of us. tashi i’d be carrying your baby.” you grabbed her hands to hold them in yours getting a little emotional. the look you gave tashi made it easy for her to decide. “ok.” your eyebrows shot up. “ok? ok as in ok we’re going have a baby?” tashi’s nod was all you needed to start bouncing up and down squealing before tashi started to shush you.

you and tashi were at the clinic the following week, having done both your individual check ups it was time to meet with the doctor together. it felt like you had been sitting in that office waiting for the doctor for an eternity. tashi feeling you fidgeting next to her grabs your hand placing a kiss on the back of it then kissing the side of mouth. “i’m nervous.” you mumbled. the doctor walked in causing the two of you to sit up. “good morning ladies how are we today?” good mornings were echoed back to her. “so i’ve taken a look at both of you labs and you’re both very healthy women we should have no problem extracting eggs.” sighs of relief fall from you and tashi as you give each other happy smiles. “you’ve already decided to take the eggs from tashi all you need to do is find a donor our website has a list of all of the registered donor here at the clinic just browse through a give us a call.

later that night you sat on your side of the bed computer in lap as you scrolled through the different men. “oh tash, look what about him?” tashi crawled next to you looking over your shoulder at the computer. “no.” she was quick to deny slipping under the covers next to you. you sigh closing the laptop. “you’ve said that to all the guys i’ve shown.” you turned to face her. “we have to pick someone you know.” tashi just shrugged “i know that but it’s not like we’re ordering a pizza love the man we pick will be fertilizing the egg that will make our baby. it’s already scary enough that he’ll be a complete stranger.” you understood where tashi’s pickiness was coming from you too wanted the best of the best. you ran your fingers through tashi’s hair while she placed kisses on neck inching lower and lower when you gasps sitting upright. “what if we used your friend the cute blonde one.” tashi stopped her kisses. “art? you wanna use my ex boyfriend’s now boyfriend as our sperm donor?” the look tashi gave you was comical. you pushed her onto her back moving your body to straddle hers. “don’t look at me like that i’m serious.” you pouted. “we know art he’s funny, he’s tall, he’s athletic and even if he tries to deny it he’s a great singer come on tashi it never hurts to ask.” you whispered the last part against the skin of her neck sliding your hand up her shirt ghosting over her nipple. “fine i’ll call patrick tomorrow have them over for dinner.” tashi sighs out your mouth meeting hers.

at breakfast you could hear her on the phone with patrick before she hung up. “they’ll be over tonight, don’t forget to ice the good red.” she kissed your forehead then was off to tennis practice. you loved hanging out with art and patrick they were a fun couple despite the weird history between the two of them and your wife you all got along great. “did you guys get a new jacuzzi?” art questioned looking over your backyard that you had recently paid a lot of money to have renovated. you stood next to him “yes! i can’t believe you noticed that.” you and art talked more about the renovation while tashi and patrick fought at the grill over how long the meat should be cooked. “i’m the man here tashi i think know how to cook meat.” tashi gave him the look specially reserved for when men annoyed her. “why is it burning then?” she walked off after that leaving patrick to try and save his burning steak.

the four of you ate outside on the backyard patio. laughter filled the air and it got a little chilly as the sky got darker. patrick refilled his third glass of wine when he realized you hadn’t even had your first. “what’s up with you why aren’t you drinking?” you got quite and tashi cleared her throat. the two of you looked at each other silently asking each other who was gonna address it first. “thats has to do with the reason we asked you guys here on such short notice.” tashi said setting her wine glass down. “we’re trying for a baby and would like to know if art would wanna be our donor.” you blurted out not being able to take the suspension. art let out a sound of surprise before looking over at patrick the two of them now having their own silent conversation. it’s time like these where you wish you could read minds. “you can of course say no.” you added softly playing with the ends of the blanket hanging over your shoulders while tashi’s own hand squeezes your thigh. art downed the rest of his wine signaling for patrick to refill it. “first off congratulations you guys will be great mothers.” you and tashi give him small smiles. “i’m surprised you would even consider me for something thing like this but i’d be honored to be your donor.” you don’t know when tear stated forming in your eyes but they finally fall and tashi is pulling you into her arms pressing kisses on the side of your face. “we’re gonna be uncles!” patrick beats his hands rhythmically one the table and you can’t contain the happy sobs that break through.

after art was cleared with your doctor his sperm count being high and health all he had to do was jizz in a cup, a process patrick was more than happy to help with. you had to wait for yours and tashi’s cycles to sync before the transfer could happen and when it did the days after that felt like everything was moving in slow motion. “we’ll take the test tonight, i’ll bring home two.” tashi said standing next to her car. she was on her way to practice. “ok” you whispered. tashi kissed you wanting to take all your worry away. “everything’s gonna be ok.” she rested her forehead against yours. you nodded giving her one last kiss before letting her drive away.

getting work done that day was nearly impossible all day long you constantly watch the clock waiting till tashi gets back with the pregnancy test. you were standing in front of the mirror hands moving over your flat stomach when you heard the front door open. tashi appeared in the bathroom door way a plastic bag in hand drink in the other. “ready to drink your weight in sunny d?” you couldn’t help but giggle at the reference. you and tashi sat with your backs against the tub staring at the two test on the counter. the loud ringing from your phones timer rips through the room. two minutes was up. “do you wanna flip it or should i?” and for the first time since starting this process you heard the nervousness laced in tashi’s voice. “you can.” you whispered back. tashi took a deep breath before turning over the test. you couldn’t see anything so the gasp tashi let out could be either good or bad. “oh my god.” her voice was breathy. “what tashi? what is it, what does say.” your heartbeat picking up. then tashi turned around showing you the test and right there big and bold was the word PREGNANT. “we’re gonna be mommies!” tashi grabbed your face kissing you but you were still in a daze not believing you were actually pregnant like a baby was growing inside you at that very moment. “we’re gonna be mommies.” you whispered eyes welling up. “we’re having a baby and we’re gonna be mommies.” you said louder jumping up and down smiling as happy tears slipped down yours and tashi’s face. tashi’s laughs mix perfectly with yours as you guys dance around in the bathroom. “you know i love you so much.” you threw your arms around tashi. “i think i already beat you too that.” she kisses your nose.

the two of you decided to wait till you were out of the first trimester to tell people. you told both your parents first then art and patrick. you were mentally prepared for the morning sickness and sore boobs that came with pregnancy but what caught you off guard was how horny you got. “come on tashi please we can be quick.” kissing under her jaw. “we have an appointment love. can’t you wait til after.” you really really couldn’t. “need you now.” your pout and puppy eyes and the whiney please you gave tashi had her on her knees face in between your legs.

“ready to find out the sex?” the doctor looks over to you and tashi. there was an on going bet about wether it was gonna be a boy or girl everyone was convinced it’d be a boy. “it’s a girl.” the doctor announced. you laugh “i knew it.” you stare at the screen the showed the baby inside you moving around.

the rest of your pregnancy was smooth, tashi absolutely doted on you, messaging your feet, bringing you whatever late night craving you got but the closer you got to your due the more she stuck to your side. “i just wanna be there when your water breaks.” but she wasn’t there. she had left you at your parents house to go on a grocery store run when it broke. “uh, mom i think my water just broke.” the look on your mothers face would have made you laugh but the contractions were causing you to wince in pain. the whole ride to the hospital was filled with your mom yelling at your dad to drive faster.

it felt like you were in the hospital room for hours. your voice turning raw from screaming, tashi’s hand slowly losing feeling from how hard you were squeezing it but still she made sure to tell you how good you were doing. after a few really good pushed a loud high pitched cry could be heard throughout the room. you daughter was finally born. you strained your neck trying get a look at her while the nurses cleaned her up. “congratulations she’s beautiful.” a tiny baby girl was placed in your arms. happy tears fell from yours and tashi’s eyes. “she’s so small.” tashi whispered her finger lightly stroking your daughters red cheek. “hi lily.” you greeted her when she opened her eyes for the first time, her big brown eyes catching yours.

(cheesed so much while writing this.)

[nancypullen]

Last Days of 2025

I took a month off from the ol' blog. A MONTH. I haven't done that since I started this nonsense in 2007. I just wasn't feeling particularly chatty. I've been caught up in making merry and decking the halls, but I also feel an impending sense of doom. We all know what (or who) 2025 will bring, and it's not good. Not good at all. BUT, this space on the magical interwebs is not for doom and gloom. This space is about finding joy, laughing together, and cheering you on in this crazy life. So that's what I intend to continue doing here. Let's walk into this new year with cautious hope, but fully prepared to do battle if necessary. Here at the Pullen home I have been the busiest elf Santa ever sent into the world.

THose of you who know me will remember that my hometown really IS North Pole, Alaska. If you visit, you'll find candy cane streetlights, street names like Mistletoe Lane, Snowman Lane, and of course, Santa Claus Lane. Santa's house is there, and I went to high school with Santa's daughter. Her name is Merry Christmas Miller, though I'm sure that has probably changed over the years due to marriage. She was a beauty. Quite often, after school, we'd go to Santa's house and feed snacks to the reindeer. We ate pizza at a restaurant called The Elf's Den. This was all perfectly normal to us, and a delightfully wholesome way to grow up. Here's a peek at Santa's house.

So, having said all of that, it's probably no surprise that I like to decorate for Christmas. It makes me a bit nostalgic, and it's almost impossible to be unhappy in a house filled with jingle bells and holiday cheer. Knowing that, I decked the dang halls and I wrapped (and wrapped and wrapped and wrapped) gifts to tuck under the tree. I've placed bits and bobs downstairs and upstairs, spreading the holiday vibe. So many of my little window sill sitters are quite old -gifts from students more than twenty years ago. Little guys like these look just fine if I snip some greenery from the yews in the front yard.

Other knick knacks I've collected over the years. These two are favorites. I enjoy sliding Santa's sleigh closer to Christmas each day.

And this one speaks to the child that still lives in my heart every December.

Stuff like that is scattered all over the house, with most of it a nod to the big guy.

I picked up the HoHoHo piece at Kirkland's for about $14. It makes me smile.

Throw pillows that I've had for several years make the sofa cheerful.

The tv cabinet just has a couple of candles and trees -nothing special, but it's pretty at night when we're cozy and watching television. It really brings a warm glow to the room.

I love candles and twinkle lights this time of year. One new addition is a strand of pre-lit garland wrapped around a tension (curtain) rod and placed at the end of the entry hall. Nothing fancy but it's a nice little holiday boost to the house.

I have a love/hate relationship with that table. When we moved here two and a half years ago we were busy renovating this house. It was during supply chain issues and we live on Maryland's Eastern Shore which can feel like Timbuktu when you want some pretty basic things. Anywayyyy...we were working on the house, our kids were arriving for July 4th and I had nowhere for anyone to sit. We bought that dining set on Facebook marketplace for $50 as a place holder. I had visions of a gorgeous, chippy, french country dining set to fill that spot. Fast forward a couple of years and every time I mention getting rid of it the family protests because they swear the chairs are SO comfortable. Apparently they cup the bum and support the back just right. I hate it, but it makes everyone else happy. I'll just keep hating it, I guess. I keep my Xmas table really simple. No giant centerpiece, no candelabra. White plates, red napkins, and green goblets are festive enough. Time to dress the table!

And, of course, the tree. This may be the last year for the old gal. Or maybe not. If I can keep fluffing her out and filling the holes with ornaments and foofoo we can get a couple more seasons out of her.

The bow on top is a tad floppy, but by the time she was crowned I was so ready to be finished that I deemed it just fine. It's not like we're on the HGTV home tour.

So, the house is festive, and our hearts are festive...but Denton doesn't offer much in the way of holiday fun. That's why we hopped on the Metro last Thursday and headed into D.C. to roam the Christmas markets. The Dupont Circle market was just so-so, but the market at Gallery Place (F Street between 7th and 9th?) was wonderful! It's right at the Gallery Place/ChinaTown stop so you walk right into it when you exit the Metro.

Those last few pic were snapped by Mickey. I was too busy shopping. It was a fabulous way to spend the day. Prior to hitting the markets we visited the Harry Benson Gallery - incredible! If you get the chance, go. What an amazing life.

There you have it. A tiresome post to catch you up on our comings and goings. Mickey made a fast trip down to Atlanta to celebrate his mother's 90th birthday. I've been keeping the home fires burning and preparing for the holidays and the coming year. Here's some fun that you can join in. Yesterday, on the solstice, I wrote down ten intentions/goals for 2025 on strips of paper. I folded them up and placed them in this little jar.

Starting today, and each day through New Year's Eve, I will take one out (no peeking!) and burn it without opening it. On the 31st, when I take the last one out, I'll open it and read it. THAT is the one that the universe is telling me to focus on. Sure, you can still work on everything else - maybe your list includes stuff like getting in shape, changing jobs, traveling more, setting boundaries with people, or mending relationships. You can still do all of that and more. But if you enjoy woo-woo stuff (I do), and prefer paganism over hypocritical puritanism (ohh, too harsh?), this is a fun way to ask the universe for a sign and direct your focus there. It's certainly not going to hurt, although I'm going to be ticked off if my last slip is the one that says "lose weight" and not "prioritize your happiness". Just my luck. Alright, my darlings. That's enough rambling from me. Sorry for the unexpected break, I plan to do much better in 2025. Matt arrived yesterday, Tyler and his crew will arrive soon, so until January this space will be hit or miss. But know that I am sending out huge amounts of love, wishing you peace in your hearts and homes, and always, always expecting the very best for all of us. I hope that your dearest wishes come true and the coming year surprises you with so much joy. Now get out there and spread some Christmas cheer! Stay safe, stay well, jingle all the way~~~ XOXO, Nancy

[lostloveletters]

cant stop thinking about the woody/brady high school au, do you have any more hcs for that? or maybe some with holly, bucky and the rest of the gang included?

You sent this two weeks ago, and I want to apologize for the wait! I promise I wasn’t ignoring you, I got kind of sidetracked😅 High school teachers AU my beloved🖤 Previous HCs for this AU are here!

More headcanons below the cut!

RIP to the like 3 students who have both a music class and a shop class because they’re getting a double dose of “teachers who are so obviously into each other it’s almost painful”

Woody goes to every school concert and musical, even though she doesn’t have to, but Brady’s obviously directing the band (the theater kids can sometimes get on his nerves. The band kids are basically his children though). She and John are almost always the last ones hanging around the auditorium by the end of the night after the performances are over. The two of them, alone in a dimly lit auditorium…anything can happen🤭

Since Holly knows pretty much everyone’s business, Bucky also knows pretty much everyone’s business. Constantly leaning into each other and whispering and snickering in the teacher’s lounge (they’re so annoying about it, god bless)

As the baseball coach and Phys. Ed. teacher, Bucky expects a lot from the guys on the baseball team. Everyone else can walk the mile if they want, he doesn’t care. Most likely to curse around students, like an exasperated “oh shit” every once in a while that endears him to them. Big proponent of the class pizza party

Buck teaches Physics and students of all genders are pulling some Indiana Jones “love you” on the eyelids type of shit even though he mentions Marge regularly because he loves her! She also sends him in with different baked goods for the AP students every week or so (there’s always one or two missing by the time he gets to class because Bucky stole some in the teacher’s lounge)

Much to say about guidance counselor Rosie. Absolutely loves chaperoning the school dances and always ends up showing off his moves that become increasingly outdated with each passing year, but damn if those kids aren’t cheering him on like it’s American Bandstand. He’s mentioned in pretty much every valedictorian speech. Former students still send him cards around the holidays. He’s been invited to a few weddings. Definitely gets the most gifts at the end of the school year

Back to Woody and Brady! They carpool to work. At first it’s just an excuse to spend more time together but then she’s staying over at his place all the time so…

Some of their students start to hatch a plan to get them together but then they see them walking into the building holding hands one day and they’re like “Nevermind.” Kinda annoyed they stole their thunder

There’s definitely a “So do we call you Mrs. Brady now?” discussion in Woody’s shop class after she marries John and her last name is no longer Woodward. She’s like “Uh, just say Mrs. Woody instead of Miss Woody.” (She’s never been Miss Woodward to her students, it’s too formal to her)

[alex-guerin]

I need to rant for a minute...

I live in a very small town, 1400 people. We live in town, on a double lot. We have lived here for 3 full years now. We moved here after living 30+ years in the middle of nowhere cornfield countryside. Our dogs had trouble adjusting to town life and not being able to bark as much as they used to, but they're better about it now and really don't bark outside much unless they spot a critter or the neighbor's dogs come outside.

Our neighbors. Who moved in a full year after us. Who knew upon viewing the house that we had big dogs that barked. Who upon signing and getting the keys for the place met our dogs and we're like, "Oh, we know dogs bark. We have two big dogs, ourselves, it's not an issue." Who two months after moving in, decided our dogs were an issue and the wife declared war upon me, my mom, and our dogs. Neighbors who now bitch and moan whenever our dogs go outside to go potty, while their dogs are out, and all the dogs just wanna chase each other and play, but can't because these neighbors scream at their dogs to get in the house and leave our dogs alone. These people throw loud af pool parties all summer long. Have bonfires that are probably by all rights too big to be having in town. They have loud af parties year round. Are constantly yelling and cussing up a storm. Including their 10 year old son, who likes to taunt our dogs and glares at us whenever he sees us.

We have worked very hard to keep the dogs from barking much. We don't have loud parties. We don't blast music or yell constantly or scream cusses every other sentence. Occasionally, my mom and I will decide to have a nice little fire to burn up some dead branches we cut from shrubs or other yard trimmings. Never any trash (unless you count the newspaper used to start the fire). We have our very rare fires on a Saturday night, when there's almost no breeze.

Tonight, for the first time in probably a year, my mom and I decided to have a fire to burn up the weeds and trimmings and keep our firepit from getting over run with weeds. Neighbors were not home when we lit the fire. There was basically no breeze, so the smoke was going straight up. With the exception of the occasional wisp that would float off towards the neighbor's house.

All of the sudden, the neighbors fly up on their side-by-side and I hear the wife going, "Well it HAD BEEN a great day! [Some indistinguishable drunken babbling]...burn their TRASH!!" I was getting ready to go pick up our pizza and I heard something from their house, glanced over just in time to see a window get slammed shut and blinds pulled down. Followed by another window slam shut. Apparently as I was leaving, the wife stood on their front porch and screamed, "Way to go, KAREN! You fucking bitch!" My mom (Karen) was on our side porch, confused as hell, and even called back, "NOW what do you think I did?" The wife stormed out onto the back deck and was yelling at my mom about us having a fire and the smoke going in their house, she started slamming shit around and slammed the door. My mom said she could hear the wife screaming inside their house from where she stood on our side porch.

To make things even better, my dad has apparently been talking to the neighbor husband. And telling him that my bro (who is staying with us and is the head mechanic at the little auto shop in town) is "no-good, lazy, useless, piece of shit"...and neighbor husband has run his mouth enough that it's starting to cost the shop business. I don't know how much, but my bro told us tonight that yeah, neighbor husband was supposed to bring wife's van in for something (tune up? Oil change? I dunno), but that neighbor husband told my bro's boss, "Oh, but you got that useless [Surname] kid working for you." Bro's boss was understandably confused and asked what he was talking about, "You mean Chief?" "Yeah! That useless fucker." "I don't know what you're talking about. He comes in every day, he does his job, he does it right, he's fast, he knows what he's doing--" "Eh, well, all I know is that he's a no-good, lazy, useless, piece of shit." And then did a no-call-no-show on his appointment, wouldn't answer the phone when they tried calling him. And a couple other people have mentioned that they heard from neighbor husband to stay away cuz his mechanic isn't any good. I don't know as though the neighbors have ever even really met my bro. For that matter, they've never even really met me or my mom, except to scream at us from across the fences because of our dogs, or fall decorations, or we decided to have a little fire and enjoy the gorgeous night.

We try to keep to ourselves. We just want to be left alone with our dogs. We live by the saying, "you leave us alone, we'll leave you alone." A few months after they moved in, I was trying to bring our dogs in cuz I saw them come home and our dogs started barking, so I was trying to be polite and bring them in. When neighbor's wife started screaming at me about our fall decorations, cussing at me, and sent my anxiety through the roof and put me into an anxiety attack and I stood shaking and crying in the kitchen because of it. After that, my mom decided to write up basically a statement to give to not only the town cops, but the county cops also, about neighbor wife and how she acts towards us etc. Just in case she ever decides to do something towards us.

But it's just like, damn woman! Leave us alone! We don't say anything about your loud ass parties that go until 3am. We don't say anything about your dogs barking at us when we get home and they're out, in fact most times we'll smile and call "Hi Teddy! Hi Toby!" When we see them. We'll give polite smiles and waves to them and their kid when we see them as we're leaving. We don't bitch and moan and cuss up aloud storm when they're having their pool parties and bonfires.

Why are THEY allowed to have dogs that bark, and loud parties year round, and massive bonfires and shit, but we have to keep our dogs quite at all times and not put up any decorations in the yard that the wind might turn to face their yard and can't have a little fire of our own on a nice night?

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

questions for grim questions for grim, grim loves questions questions for grim

what clothing item is a key part of your character design? what’s your ideal night out like? what are you like at a party? mountains, beach, forest, desert, or jungle? WORST fruit? who is your best friend, what are they like, why do you love them? what makes you laugh?

ooooh questions!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!! you know how much i love these. i will say i am quite flattered by your interest in my being. i'll do my best to give you some good, thorough answers

clothing item that is a key part of my character design is my lock necklace. if i dont wear it i feel ill. i will not feel like myself. i will feel significantly less swag and thats not good for me. its basically a small lock on a chain i wear around my neck. my dad gave it to me when i was a teenager, said only rockstars can wear shit like that. and i was like oh in that case

ideal night out is literally texting everyone "whats the moves tonight" then meeting up on a street corner and letting montreal unfold for us the way it does so beautifully every time. just walking around with my friends drinking a beer and laughing. talking. meeting characters on the street, letting them take you to your next adventure. but if im planning a night out, its usually going to be going to a show at some dingy venue and drinking at someones house beforehand, afterwards finishing the night off at a bar dancing or playing pool, then hit the diner or a pizza place. typical city slicker shit

im assuming by party you mean like....house party? so i'll answer that way. at a party theres two grim modes: either im aloof as fuck and finding ways to entertain myself that dont require human interaction (like going around and looking at whats in the bathroom cabinet, playing your instruments or chilling with the cat if there is one). usually in that mode if im not going off by myself im sitting on the couch watching everyone with a distant look in my eyes. off to neverland somewhere fr. the other mode is im standing in the middle of the room and actively working the crowd like a fuckin court jester. i really really like doing that and im really good at it. but i only do it if i think the people at the party are going to be receptive to it. nothing worse than a loud fuckin clown who cant read the room

mountains. mountains. i mean god i love the ocean. but mountains do it for me. i could cry

WORST FRUIT is......hm. i think there's nothing worse than a berry sold in a single plastic container at the grocery store in the middle of winter. like i tried eating some raspberries the other day and they were so fuckin sour and tasteless. i love fruits i dont think theres a worst fruit i think theres a worst time to eat certain fruits

oh my god noooo im gonna go on a tangent. my best friend's name is Chloë. We've known each other since we were twelve. she's the reason i'm changing for the better. she's the reason i'm making active changes in my relationships, ones that have me feeling a sense of belonging for the first time in my whole fuckin life. the love she's shown me is a key factor in why i don't isolate anymore. we've been friends and drifted and been friends again a couple of times and now our friendship has hit a new high. its like a breath of relief, to have her in my life. she taught me that love isn't supposed to be anxiety inducing, that receiving a text from your friend isnt supposed to make your heart jump to your throat. she taught me that friendship doesnt have to be this chaotic, symbiotic rollercoaster where you're always looking to get fucked up together or have secret animosity and resentment towards one another. it can be kind. it can be fun, at all times. it can be this natural pull between two people that just feels pleasant. she taught me that other people can love me for all that i am and that i dont have to hide the ugly mangled parts of myself to be loved. she encourages my very being every day. she embraces all of me and has a brilliant mind. she's so caring and attentive and so fuckin smart. emotionally intelligent. when we're together, we talk and talk and talk and philosophize ourselves into fuckin oblivion. our minds meld and elevate each other. she teaches my know-it-all ass things every time we talk. with Chloë, i can truly just be. we can be quiet together. i just feel the love emanating off her and its like.....oh i get it. friendship is the ultimate act of devotion.

and lastly well. everything makes me laugh. its all so funny

[olderjodijournals]

Saturday, February 2, 2002

I finally found a song I’ve been looking for ever since we got the satellite. Maybe that’s because we’re using a new downloader.

Anyway, Tom’s switching to nights, though his hours won’t be set hours. He’ll kind of be working between second and third shifts. It’ll be more money, too.

He can now send me emails from work, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to send any back. I replied the last time and he never got it, so who knows?

It’s been so cold lately! At 5 AM it was 28 degrees the other morning.

Saw Scot and was in and out. Now he wants receipts of all our monthly extortion fees. Yet another thing we gotta do for the freeloaders. It never ends!

We both went to the recycling center this morning, and of course, Gina wasn’t there. But so what if she had been - I’m not meant to work. Not in this life. It really pissed me the fuck off to see all the lazy freeloaders lounging around town when there are so many things they could be doing. Meanwhile, I’m someone who wants to work, yet can’t. But whoever said life was supposed to be fair?

We went to Mary’s today. Right after we got there, she and Dave left to bring Pepper to get groomed. Before I go any further - we may change our minds about Pepper or any other dog. One of the reasons we came out here was to live in a quieter setting. I just don’t know if I want to listen to Pepper bark all the time. Dogs don’t always need a reason to bark, either. They bark just to bark cuz that’s what dogs do, and you can’t teach them not to any more than you can teach a baby not to cry. I didn’t like listening to other people’s dogs, so why would I like to listen to our own? Besides, I have enough expense and responsibility with the rats and mice as it is.

I enjoyed chatting with Mom, who’s learning some basic Spanish at the center. I helped her with her pronunciation. She gave me some really nice puzzles, too.

Then Mary and Dave returned with pizza. Then after we ate, Mary embarrassed the fuck out of me and even pissed me off to the point of never wanting to return to that house again. Her and her fucking camera! I’m sick of her embarrassing me by taking my picture all the time, then displaying it on the TV or printing it out for me. It really, really bothers me, and I’ve told her this before. I don’t need to stare at my big fat neck that seems to get lower and lower each year. I don’t need to see my droopy jowls and fat face. I may not have much in the way of wrinkles, but personally, I think I look hideous and I don’t need it rubbed in my face every time I go over. I don’t mind being short, I don’t mind that I don’t have a big chest (though I’m far from flat), but if I had the money for a facelift, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

I’ve been jogging in motion by running circles in the living room instead of stationary (besides pumping iron). I know I’ll never be thin again any more than I’ll ever be in my twenties again, but it keeps me from maxing out and settling into whatever it is I’d settle in at, be it in the 140s or 150s if I stopped exercising. I’ve also been watching my calories. Meanwhile, I’ll probably be around 120 indefinitely.

The new tenants may’ve been in back today, but I can’t say for sure that any of them were the new tenants. I know George has to have someone picked out to rent the place, though, cuz I doubt he’d have hooked up the power till he had someone to bill it to. When we got in at 4:00, there were 5 vehicles there. A car, a truck, a van, and two trucks that I know were workers. Through the binoculars, I saw a balding man in his 40s and a 3-year-old boy. Both appeared to be white. I still can’t imagine us lucking out and getting whites in there, but I don’t know. Everyone’s gone now. I still say we’re gonna get freeloadered. I mean, why wouldn’t we? We always do.

Monday, February 4, 2002

Now I’m not sure what the hell’s going on in back. Yesterday and the day before I saw a stout, balding man, probably white, though I couldn’t tell for sure, unloading moving boxes. Yet there are always 3-5 vehicles there, most of them being workers. Are they always going to be working on that house? Or is one of the workers themselves moving in?

What’s the point in exercising and watching what I eat just to get stuck for two days and end up right back where I started because of it? Huh? What’s the point? I swear, if it wasn’t for Teddy Bear I wouldn’t be putting myself through this shit cuz I just don’t care anymore. I’m fat and that’s that. I wouldn’t allow myself to gain weight, but I wouldn’t be hopelessly trying to lose it, either. I haven’t been under 120 pounds in months. Obviously, I’m never going to be. Teddy Bear will just have to accept me as I am, fat face and all. Droopy neck and jowls included. I know she would, it’s just that I’d be coming off as quite a liar after saying I was going to lose weight. Hey, I tried, though. I really tried. However, it just can’t be done and I’m through kidding myself and driving myself crazy over the subject. I’m staying between 120-125 and that’s final. It is weird, though, how a person can exercise like I do, watch what they eat, get more fit and firm, yet keep the same weight/measurements. It just goes to prove that exercising doesn’t make a person lose weight or get smaller. I know that the only way I could make good on my word would be to stop eating or come pretty close to it, but I just can’t live like that, and sorry, not even my Teddy Bear’s worth putting myself out like that. I’ll stick to 1400-1600 calories a day, plus one day a week to have around 2000.

Hopefully, my mentioning Tom’s switching to nights to Scot will spark a little consideration in him and he won’t bug us too often, but we’ll see. He doesn’t strike me as the considerate type. I’m just really shocked that he came twice in January. Maybe that’s why he did. Maybe he figured it’d surprise me after he’d been coming less and less.

He is one stupid dude, though. The last time he was here, he commented on how the back door’s way off, and I was like, you mean you’re just now noticing that? Kind of rude, if you ask me, to go to someone’s home uninvited just to pick on it. Whatever happened to the old cliché about not saying anything at all if you don’t have anything nice to say?

Wednesday, February 6, 2002

I’m going to be rather tired for the next 10 days. I have to hold my schedule where it’s at till Monday when I go to get my ear cleaned, then continue on holding it till Friday for the freeloaders. Always for the freeloaders! Again, words cannot express how much anguish and humiliation it brings me to have the bulk of my life revolve around my own perpetrators!!!

I had a funny thought, not that I expect this to ever happen, but wouldn’t it blow Scot’s mind if I reported with Teddy Bear in tow? In uniform, that is. He’d be like - what the hell? That’d throw him for damn sure!

Still working in back. The moving boxes, if that’s what they really are, are still back there, and I’ve seen workers come and go. They were on a ladder in front of the house yesterday and today they’re on the roof.

Amazingly, I had 1000 calories yesterday, I shit, I ran twice for 10 minutes, I worked out for 15 minutes, yet I haven’t shed a pound. Your metabolism is supposed to slow down with age, not stop completely. It just goes to show yet again that exercising doesn’t make you lose weight, fat or inches. It just tones you up and gives you more stamina and endurance. I’m way fitter than I was months ago, and can jog for over 15 minutes now! It’s hard to believe that less than a week ago I couldn’t jog more than 2½ minutes and that less than a month ago, I couldn’t do stationary jogging for more than a minute.

Tom received a whopping $600 from Mom for doing her taxes! I was surprised she’d give him that much. He also got $20 for us to have fun with. The next time I’m in Walgreen I want to get more of that chrome nail polish. Meanwhile, we’re going to get me another whitening kit for my teeth, order Donna for $25 (I’ve still got Sugar Plum coming in March) and get current on the house payments.

I don’t know when the hell the fences and landscaping are going to happen, but someday I guess it will. Sometime this year I hope to get Blossom and Joy, but I won’t count on it.

Mom wanted Mary to call me to tell me that she deleted the pictures she took of me, but like Tom pointed out - what good would that do? The pictures were already taken, and I was already embarrassed and made a fool of. I don’t hate her and it’s not like I’m going to hold it against her forever, but she needs to learn that I mean what I say, unlike most people. A person should never take another person’s picture without their permission, and if they say no, then no means no!

She gave Tom a bag of M&M’s. I managed to control myself from eating more than a few, but that’s another thing that bugs me about Mary and Dave. They live on nothing but crap. Whenever we visit, they want to feed us crap. Good, yummy crap that’s awfully hard to say no to, making maintaining my weight rather hard. I can’t believe these people aren’t over 200 pounds with the way they eat. They eat nothing but McDonald’s, pizza, cake, candy, ice cream, etc. They’re the kind that would rather die than eat fruits or vegetables.

Got both good news and news that could turn out to be either good or bad. It’s too soon to say for sure.

Right now I’m pretty sure it is a worker living back there. When I got up at 1 PM today, there was a white pickup by the side of the house and a white car in front. I saw a guy sitting in front, of course, then he got up, threw a cigarette on the ground, and walked into the house, followed by a large dog. I later got a good enough glimpse of him through the binoculars. He’s white and scruffy-looking. Could end up being as bad as off-brands. He was thin and wiry-looking with long gray, scraggly hair resembling Willie Nelson. The kind that would litter the ground with cigarette butts. The kind you’d find in bars. The kind that may blast music with his buddies while they all get high and drunk. We’ll soon see because now’s the time they’ll start up with the music if they’re into that. Now that they’re settled, we could hear them anytime now. I didn’t see anyone else. No kids, either. It’s hard to believe that just one person could be living there, but Dan lived alone in a 3-bedroom, and in this house, you got just two people in a 4-bedroom that could be a 5-bedroom, depending on how you use the retreat.

Anyway, people who are going to be noisy don’t usually act up till they’re all moved in. It’s an “ok, we’re here, we have arrived” kind of thing.

Also, Willie took off in the pickup at around 4:00. He hadn’t returned by the time it was dark, and if he has since, it’s too dark to tell.

The news that should definitely be good in the long run, like in about a decade, is that they’re going to be building a Basha’s grocery store near the new subdivision. So now the nearest grocery store will be 20 minutes away rather than an hour. The closer stores and subdivisions get to the house, the more money we can make off of this place, which will be a fortune if it keeps growing the way it has, which is just as I predicted it would before we even moved here. This is exactly what I saw in my vision.

Saturday, February 9, 2002

I don’t think Willie and his dog live back there. I think he was a worker after all, cuz I haven’t seen him or his truck. Haven’t seen a dog or heard barking, either. It seems like the two vehicles that live there are a white car and a white van. I would think that at least two people live there cuz I’d also think that most people by themselves wouldn’t want 3 bedrooms/2 baths. On the other hand, you can’t get much less than that out here.

Woke up at 120 pounds, figuring I’d be stuck like I usually am when I hit 120, but nope.

Received a catalog from the doll company yesterday. Instead of getting Sugar Plum, Donna and another tooth-whitening kit, I’ve decided to get Mei Lin, an $80, 30” oriental doll. We’ll order her on the 15th, then after the post office - or somebody - fucks up, we should have her within 2-3 weeks.

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

Boy, was I one pissed puppy earlier! Before I get into it - I haven’t seen Willie again, but I saw a tall, thin white woman with that dog early one morning. It seems that the two vehicles there are a light-colored car and a light-colored van. No music yet. I figure that if they’re going to be music blasters, this weekend will be when we hear from them. By then they’ll be fairly settled and it’ll be a good time to introduce themselves to the neighborhood, knowing most people will be home. I just can’t believe we got white neighbors!!!

Now, if God would just cleanse our lives of these mother-fucking freeloaders, we’d really have it made, but of course he’d never do any such thing.

Scot woke us both up at 10:00 this morning after I’d crashed just two hours earlier. I was fuming! So furious that it took me a while to fall back asleep after we played the little game of fill out the form, and when I finally did, I slept the longest I’d slept in years. Maybe that was because I took both Melatonin and Benadryl. I expected to sleep till 6-8 PM, yet I slept till midnight.

Of course, Scot acted like he didn’t even know till today that Tom switched to nights, and I was wondering - is he really that stupid that he can’t remember shit? Or does he just not listen to people when they talk? It wasn’t just the fact that he woke us up that pissed us off, it’s the fact that he’s treating me like a common criminal. Aren’t I supposed to have written a threatening letter? Or does he think I’m this violent, dangerous psycho? He came 5 times in the 7 months of ‘01 that I was home for, yet it hasn’t even been a month and a half into ‘02 and he’s already come 3 times. He’s coming every other week now, which means I have to see his fat face every week! Well, I’m sorry, but he just doesn’t need to see me that often even if I’d written the most threatening letter in the world! That’s completely asinine, unnecessary and uncalled for, but what am I supposed to do? Contact the chief probation officer and say, “Hey, you know, one of your officers is getting a bit carried away?” Get a restraining order against the guy?

Every time I have to see him, I’m reminded of the freeloaders and what they’ve done to us. If they had just shut up and left us alone, this never would’ve happened. All this because they just couldn’t shut the fuck up and let us be! Aaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!! I want to kill the mother-fuckers! Yes, you fucking black bitch, pigs, and everyone else involved in this fucking bullshit, I just made a threat.

Meanwhile, I’m sure the freeloaders aren’t losing any sleep, time or money. As always, I’m sure God’s doing all he can to protect his precious little freeloaders.

Anyway, I am so, so close to absconding. I can’t just lay back and take this shit for another year and a half! It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to Tom. Neither of us deserves this abuse. Perhaps Scot isn’t out to literally “abuse” us, but why is he suddenly bugging us here every other week over a fucking letter? Why isn’t seeing him twice a week in town enough? Why can’t he come to the house every few months? Even just once a month would be more appropriate. Well, if he’s up to something by coming around so often all of a sudden, I’ll know it sooner or later, I’d think.

Thursday, February 14, 2002

Tomorrow’s Andy’s 40th birthday. And what is your life like today, Mr. M? I should know better than to ask. I’d be awfully surprised if he weren’t in the same situation he was in in 1999 - jobless, high and horny.

Anyway, Tom and I discussed Fat Cheeks and its becoming more of a pest these days. If it sticks to its schedule, it’ll be here between February 25th and March 7th. If it comes knocking again while I’m sleeping, I’m ignoring him. Totally ignoring him. At first I was afraid to do so for fear of him becoming all paranoid that we were trying to hide something in here. Especially if he sees the car and knows Tom’s home. But you know what? It’s our fucking house, I don’t have to let him in, and he can think whatever he wants.

Meanwhile, during the times I’m awake, he gets two shots a month at this house and no more. Meaning, even if I’m awake, if he came three times in the same month, he’s not getting in that last time.

At first I thought about trying to maintain a day schedule again, but nope. I’ve rearranged enough of my life on account of these freeloaders who wake me up more here than they did from just a few feet away. Between the times I’ve been woken up here for them, as well as in jail, I truly believe that something’s punishing me for every time the fan allowed me to sleep through their shit. I was woken up for every person I woke up during my prank phone call days, and now I’m being woken up for every time the fan let me sleep through the freeloaders’ shit.

Tom still thinks that someone new in the area just went on probation and that eventually, the unwanted visits will back off. But there are not that many people in the area to begin with! It just goes to prove how many people in this state wind up on probation. Nonetheless, I should know soon enough if that’s the case or if he’s up to no good. God help him, like I said before, if he fucks with me, and that’s not a threat. That’s a fact.

I was kind of hoping that a little courtesy and a little common sense would back him off for Tom’s sake, now that he knows he’s working nights, but I don’t know. He strikes me as a very selfish and inconsiderate person.

Unless it’s wishful thinking, I still see my Teddy Bear here in May. Just 75 days till I send the letter! I just hope she’s not disappointed in me for not losing weight like I said I would. I just don’t want it bad enough to not eat. I also hope her looks haven’t changed for the worse. Meaning, I hope she hasn’t hacked her hair off or something like that. I hate short hair. A small, microscopic part of me wishes she won’t show up so that I can enjoy food and be as fat as my body wants to be, without having to worry about what she thinks about it, though she’s no skinny mini herself. Also, I’m sick of long hair. I want to cut it to my shoulders, but somehow, I get the feeling that she likes it long like Tom does. But I don’t care about Tom’s opinions as far as my looks go because I’m no longer attracted to Tom sexually or want to get it on with him. Teddy Bear’s the current object of my desire. It’s just that this one, for once and for all, may be a reality. She’s no celebrity I’ll never meet, or some straight, prejudiced snob like Rosemarie was at the Vista.

Today Tom’s going to take apart the AC. Good, we need to know how many hundreds of dollars this shit’s going to cost us, and how much money we’re going to be forced to lose by the Gods that are just dying to see us get ahead in life after how hard we’ve worked and all we’ve been through, on these fences and landscaping that’s never going to happen. At least, it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen.

Guess now’s a good time to mention “chickenmax” at AOL. I think that email address belongs to the one and only Dureen and Art O. Not that I’d ever want to resume a relationship with them, their daughter or their son, but I found the idea of sharing my story with them rather amusing, and so I have been little by little. I haven’t received any replies to this date, which makes me think all the more that that address is theirs. I had tried different combos, knowing that people usually use things they can relate to, like birds, flags, poodles, etc., until I came up with chickenmax. Chicken was their bird’s name, and Max was the dog’s name.

If it wasn’t them, wouldn’t they have either blocked me out or told me they didn’t know me and asked me who the hell I was?

Friday, February 15, 2002

I asked Tom why he doesn’t consider me fat now, yet he did the last two times I weighed what I weigh now, which is about 122 pounds.

“Because you’re exercising now, so your appearance is different.”

Not according to the measurements he took it’s not. They’re the same as they were the last couple of times I was big, and exactly what they should be for this weight/height (30” waist, 37” hips, 22” thighs). I don’t think I look different at all. I think I feel different, though. I have more stamina.

I just don’t understand why my weight never changes with all the exercising I do. Even on a 2000-calorie diet and even being this short and this old, shouldn’t my weight drop at least a little? At least to 110-115?

Tom made a nice Valentine’s Day card for me and I made him one, too. I had forgotten all about it until I saw his card waiting for me when I got up.

I’ve been sleeping really weird hours. I fell asleep yesterday at 10:30 AM and woke up at 4:00. I took a Melatonin and fell back asleep till 11:00. Then, incredulously, I fell asleep again from 1:00-4:00! Guess it’s all this freeloader stress and the stress Scot has been putting me through by being more of a pest. I mean, how many times do you need to see somebody over a letter, guilty or not, threatening or not? Anyway, I do sleep better on weekends/holidays and the Fridays that Scot’s in Casa Grande.

At least President’s Day is next Monday, giving me an extra day off from the freeloaders. I’m the opposite of how I was in Phoenix. In Phoenix, I dreaded weekends and holidays, but now I live for them. It’s the only time I know that if I’m asleep and something wakes me up, it won’t be on account of the freeloaders.

So far, no shit from in back. We’re entering the weekend soon, so we’ll see. Last night was the first night they didn’t have their front light on. They have a lot of crap in front. It’s like they’re using their front yard as a storeroom, which is so Arizona. I’ll bet they’ve never even opened their back door once.

Saturday, February 16, 2002

Boy, aren’t we early birds in back? It’s awfully early to be having company on a Saturday morning. So far, they haven’t been a problem, but between now and Sunday evening, we’ll see. If they’re like most people, they’ll be home during the weekend. I’m surprised I don’t see them sitting out front more often, but there are 3 of them right now. The couple that lives there, and a guy visiting with a navy pickup. They strike me as the druggie type. They’re awfully thin and scruffy looking for their ages, and they look to be in their 40s. Maybe even 50s.

Tom said that while I was asleep when he was out toying with the AC, he heard music, but because it was coming in on a breeze, he couldn’t tell if it was the renters or Dan’s.

Speaking of our current breakage crisis - I was right. Someone will have to be called out for the fucking thing, and that alone will cost hundreds. Anything to keep us from getting ahead financially and with home improvements! We can’t even go 3-6 fucking months without something breaking. All that’s left that hasn’t broken down yet is the dishwasher, washer and dryer.

Also, my shit doll luck lives on. There’s always, always some kind of problem or delay. Well, sure enough, I just happen to be ordering very popular dolls that everyone has to have, so now we’ve got two dolls on backorder. The Sugar Plum Fairy, a musical ballerina, won’t be in till March 15th, but on the 25th of this month, they’ll get another batch of Mei Lin dolls. I love this company, but they really ought to do a better job at keeping their dolls stocked up.

Scot piss-tested me yesterday. Alone, that is. Now all I have to do hope is that he doesn’t ask me to go humiliate and degrade myself for a piss test in Casa Grande and that he quits making such a pest of himself. While Tom was using the bathroom, he asked if he was still working nights, no doubt in regard to coming here. But what does it matter? The selfish, inconsiderate geek’s gonna do what he wants and what’s convenient to him only, and to hell with us. Once again, I don’t understand why I need weekly attention and why my coming to him twice a month isn’t sufficient enough. There’s been absolutely no indication as far as I can tell that he’s attracted to me or sporting any kind of a crush on me, so we’ll see if Tom’s right about someone new in the area going on probation. He’s got 75 fucking clients, though. Don’t at least half of these need much more attention than I ever could?

We do appreciate his telling us to stay away from a certain AC repair company, but as it is, there are so many incompetent people out there, and we’re so hated by God, that I’m sure God will still send us the quacks. If not, he’ll make sure it costs us an astronomical amount of money that we don’t even have. I just worry that no matter what the cost, the damn thing won’t be fixed before it gets hot.

After leaving Scot, which took forever, since I had to guzzle some juice and let it work its way through, then wait for the judge and a screaming couple to finish up their business, we went to Walgreens and the grocery store in Sun Lakes.

I got a few new bottles of chrome nail polish. I love that shiny, metallic look! Now I have silver, jade, aquamarine and pink pearl. I’ll get the gold and the opal the next time.

I also got strawberry lip gloss, musk cologne, a few puzzles, mascara and ridge filler. The ridge filler does help smooth the nails out, believe it or not. I had my doubts at first.

Tom got some veggies to plant, but we both know we’re planting them to attract p-dogs. It’s harder than hell to grow stuff for ourselves because they eat it away before we can get a chance to.

Tom’s been frustrating the hell out of me lately. Trying to communicate with him has been a real pisser. You’d think that after all these years we wouldn’t have so many misunderstandings, but he’s always misunderstanding the things I say and reading shit in that doesn’t even exist. I’ll ask a question, he’ll answer, then I’ll comment further on the subject, then I get, “You asked, and I answered, so don’t get all huffy and puffy with me.”

Meanwhile, there never was a problem. I never denied that I asked him the question, nor was I mad at him.

I have such mixed emotions about this guy. I love him and I couldn’t imagine life without him, yet at the same time I find myself thinking of Teddy Bear and wondering what life with her would be like an awful lot.

Our home improvement goals, which are more like hopeless dreams, are to plant walls of bushes for privacy, porch the 3 doors, put in a pool, resurface the sheds he built, install interior and exterior fences, install ceiling lights/fans in both the den and living room, put shades in the master bath and retreat, replace the bathroom faucets, trim the skylight and build a garage.

It sure would be nice to have a windowless garage. That way, Scot in particular, couldn’t tell if anyone was home. Better yet, I wish we had a fence with a gate we could lock during the days I wanted to sleep.

Monday, February 18, 2002

We’ve been totally compensated, so far, for the shit we had to live with in Phoenix. They’re white, quiet and there are only two of them!!! I’m pretty sure it’s just that woman and the partially bald guy that live there. I also think the guy could work third shift. This is the second morning in a row I’ve seen him pull in at just after 7:00, wearing some kind of uniform.

Yesterday Tom and I decorated several light switch faceplates with pictures I printed out. I chose flowers since people or animals would’ve been hard to line up. We simply cut the picture to fit the plate, centered it down on clear contact paper which we wrapped around in back, then we cut an x from corner to corner where the switch goes through and folded the flaps in back. They look awesome.

I’m not looking forward to the pest waking me up next week on account of the freeloaders. Maybe, since he doesn’t seem to be considerate of Tom, he’ll back off if he sees he’s not being let in as much and is wasting his time coming around every other week.

Tuesday, February 19, 2002

I’m going to try to maintain a day schedule for the rest of the month. Not just cuz of Scot, but so I can get in the habit of being on days if I’m going to be getting together with Teddy Bear. I’m not expecting Scot this week, but I can never know for sure. He pulls surprises on me at times. I didn’t think I’d see him once a month, then not at all for a few months, then every other week. He could start showing up daily for all I know, but if he did, I’d have to do something about it. I couldn’t and wouldn’t let that go on.

At 8:30, both George and a worker were in back. The water trailer was there for quite a while yesterday too, which was hauled in by one of the workers. That’s another reason I don’t miss living in places you rent. Regardless of how your neighbors are, there’s always something going on. Always some sort of activity or project be it paint jobs, roof repairs, landscaping, etc. In the apartments back east I almost never saw landlords/management, but out here, the landlords/management are at the apartments/houses, nearly as much as the tenants! Even with 3 houses, instead of clusters of buildings, the landlord and workers are there nearly every day.

Friday, February 22, 2002

For a society that bashes homemakers, there certainly seems to be an awful lot of people home during the daytime. People that I doubt work at night. There’s always someone home next door, at Dan’s, in back, etc. There was always someone in the houses we could see from our old house, too.

Every time I look out back, I see something new in front. I can’t tell what it is, though. Kid’s toys? Maybe kids do live there. The only time I saw 2 or 3 kids was on the weekend and I thought they were visiting. There’s a white woman there with hair just past the shoulders, and one with hair nearly as long as mine which is now just above the crack of my ass. I don’t know if they both live there or not. There can’t be more than 2 or 3 adults living there from what I can tell, and as usual, there’s been activity over there. A worker came with a gas truck following it. I was surprised to see a gas truck. I didn’t think anyone out here had gas. They weren’t there long, then a white pickup came to work on whatever. I guess an old beat-up piece of shit like that’s gonna need work a few times a week. I’m just glad I don’t live in one of the rentals. I wouldn’t sleep much better there than I did at the Vista or Crystal Creek. Although I’d prefer to do neither, I’m just glad that I can see them and not hear them, if I’ve got to do one or the other. And I’m so glad they’re white, too!

Later...

Damn! Now there’s a red car and a brown car there, too. I saw some guy, a shorter-haired woman, and 2 little kids. That’s a lot of activity for a white household on a weekday, but I know there’s a connection to the fact that they rent. Renters always tend to have a lot of company, though I don’t know why. If we suddenly started renting, I wouldn’t want lots of company.

Later...

Now all that’s left in back is the worker’s pickup and the van that lives there. The car that lives there has been out all day. I still don’t know if the kids live there or not. Probably not. I don’t see enough of them. It’s so cool not to have to hear a thing. I’d never know any of this activity was going on if I hadn’t seen it, and I know those kids had to be screaming up a storm at some point. Especially when Daddy tried to fly a kite.

The kids are probably about 3 and 1 year old. The parents aren’t much older. Late teens to early twenties. In fact, as young as they are, I’m surprised I didn’t hear any music coming from the car, but once again, we do seem to be color-coded by how noisy we are.

Sunday, February 24, 2002

What a gorgeous day it is out there. Not too cool, not too warm. I have a lot of windows open now, even when I blasted music, and you know what? I don’t care if the renters heard or not, though I doubt they did.

Yesterday, they had their usual slew of workers and last night at about 12:30, I could hear base. The kind that comes from car stereos. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, though. Could’ve been the renters. Could’ve been Dan’s. Could’ve been next door for all I know.

Tom got another raise at work and is going to push for even more money. I just wish his hours would settle into something more stable and that the stock would get up high enough so we could finally cash in some stock money and get going with shit around here. It’s already coming up on March, for Christ’s sake!

Two days ago I awoke at 124 pounds. After a certain image of a giant neck came to mind, I decided to really step up the action towards losing weight. I just don’t want to be greeting Teddy Bear with such a fat face (or body), though I’m sure she’d have liked me just the same. So yesterday, the day before, and so far today, I’ve had under 800 calories. I decided to do this rather than starve completely. I lost 3 pounds the first day and awoke yesterday at 121, but today I’m only to 120. And now I’m stuck too, of course. I may drop my calories a little lower till I shit off some of the previous day’s food.

Tuesday, February 26, 2002

And now I’m 119 pounds. Doing good so far.

The AC people are coming out Thursday so we can lose even more money to things that shouldn’t be breaking so soon till something else breaks, costing us hundreds, or even thousands, in another 3-6 months. And of course, the competency of these people will be hit or miss.

If Scot doesn’t show up this week, then he’ll come next week and wake me up while I’m trying to flip my schedule, all cuz God’s mad at me for tuning them out with my fan. Well, I assure you, I hate him just as much as he hates me. Maybe even more. I’m tired of the way he’s allowed people to fuck me over and run my life. I’ve been tired of it. For the millionth time, what did I ever do to these freeloaders to deserve this? Was I their slave master in a previous life or something?

Oh, how I wish we were fenced in with a gate that locks! I need to lock those cheeks out next week if they don’t come this week. Unless he backs off and gives me a break for a few months, but I don’t know. Coming three times in less than a month and a half makes me think he won’t be backing off anytime soon unless he gets a touch of consideration for Tom, at least, even though Tom’s hours haven’t stabled out yet.

Tom explained to me that old pieces of shit trailers like what’s in back, aren’t equipped with the number of amps newer houses like ours is, so they use propane, rather than all-electric. That’s what that gas truck was that I saw.

Tom was digging trenches earlier to run the pipes into the plants we hope to plant some century, and I could faintly hear music. Just barely. Couldn’t tell where it was coming from, though. I think it was coming from a house and that it was probably either the renters or Dan’s. I just don’t get how so many people can afford to be home all the time.

I’m not sure anymore if the older woman lives back there or not. Maybe the younger one with the kids is the wife of the older guy. Maybe she’s not as young as she looks. About every other time I pass by the kitchen window, I see one, two or even a few people hanging out front. I really don’t like to have to see them, but at least they haven’t been noisy yet. It’ll be interesting to see as it gets hotter if the heat keeps them indoors. It may not. A lot of people don’t seem to mind the heat.

It’s not even March yet and already it’s warming up for the year.

Got a letter from Mary yesterday, who finally ran into Pérez. She said she saw her at Visitation and told her I said hello and that she had a letter from me to give to her and that Pérez thought that was way cool. However, she doesn’t know when they’ll stick her back in M Dorm. Remember, Pérez wasn’t common to M Dorm. I kind of have a feeling she’ll be back in M Dorm soon, though. I hope so! And I hope I get a reply from her, if only just once, but I won’t get my hopes up. What a nice keepsake that’d be, though! Ironically, I recently had a dream where I ran into her somewhere and was glad to finally be able to say the things I wanted to say that I was too excited to think of saying when I left the jail. Then she wrote me a quick note to take with me, telling me I was special to her.

In reality, I know I really was special to her. I really liked her a lot myself, even though we only saw each other 6-8 times.

Mary sent me 4 pictures of her son which I sent back in case she didn’t have copies.

She also sent 8 pages of stuff for me to type up for her.

She asked about my visiting her and I told her it couldn’t be till at least May. Tom’s not sure whether or not there’s some kind of a monthly report that’d get back to Scot, but I’m not worried about it for two reasons. When he asks if I’ve had any police contact, I take that to mean street pigs. Also, when he tells me not to associate with anyone with a record, I assume that means people on the outs who’ve been tried and convicted. Not unsentenced witnesses in jail.

But you know what? He can tell me anything he wants cuz I don’t care. I’ve served this world enough and have catered to other people’s demands way longer than I should have. No one’s going to pick and choose who I associate with. This state doesn’t own me. The bulk of my 36 years has been spent doing what others told me to do, going where others told me to go, saying what others told me to say, and being what others told me to be. Well, no more! The next 36 years belong to me! I decide what to do. I decide where to go. I decide what to be. I decide what to say. I’m nobody’s puppet anymore.

I doubt Scot will find out, but hey - I’m an adult and I have to live my life. There needs to be more in my life than having to do for the freeloaders who tormented and provoked me and my husband for years.

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

I’m pretty tired today. Two more days of this shit, though this time, I can’t blame it all on the freeloaders, believe it or not. I’d still have to hold my schedule for the appointment I’ve got to get my ear canal cleaned out after I see Scot. Come Saturday, I’m gonna sleep all day!

I really hope Scot gets his ass in and out of here this week, so he doesn’t go waking me up next week.

The knee pain I had for several months has gone away, fortunately. At first I wondered if it was early arthritis, but now I wonder if maybe there were ligaments or tendons I injured (though it seems hard to believe I injured both knees) that got strengthened up by jogging.

Tom’s getting ready to go to work soon and though I haven’t the energy to run, perhaps I’ll at least work out. Maybe do a little singing and get started on my book’s conclusion.

I have stuck to having under 1000 calories for 5 days now and have lost 5 pounds. However, I don’t know why I lost 3 pounds the first day and am the same as I was yesterday at 119 pounds.

Our satellite TV’s back so I was watching some forensics shows last night. I was also watching a documentary discussing home safety. A couple of stories were about poor, poor black welfare bums and all the shit they have to take, but once again, what about us? I’m still waiting for whites who are victimized and discriminated against by minorities to be brought into the spotlight. It’s definitely an issue that needs to be addressed more. You hear about the poor, poor blacks and the sob stories from the Mexicans, but what about us?

One case dealt with this guy living in rural Colorado. For 20 years his neighbors did things like calling him racial slurs and trying to run him over, then they broke into his house. The county sheriff’s department did nothing. The only thing that made me wonder about the black guy’s credibility is why it took him 20 years of supposedly being tormented for him to leave. And why would he put a sign up to have a tag sale if the whole town hated him?

Another one was a single mother who moved into a house in Philly. They were like, hey, we don’t want you here. We don’t want our neighborhood run down, we don’t want the gangs, the drugs, etc. Robins and blue jays don’t mix and neither do we. Just 5 days later, the woman moved.

Why oh why couldn’t this have happened when we got freeloadered?! Why couldn’t the neighborhood terrorize them into moving out in just 5 days?! They only have the upper hand in the courts. Other than that, Arizona’s supposed to be one of the highest states as far as prejudice goes, which is probably why it took so long for this state to acknowledge Martin Luther King Day. If those people who badgered the blacks in Colorado and Philly had done that out here, there’s no way they’d have gotten away with it like they did. As far as I know, though, they didn’t send anything in the mail, making it a felony. See, you can call someone a slur to their face, but God help you if you say so in the mail!

At the same time I’ve met more good people out here, I think the people here are worse in general. They’re a little more selfish and vindictive if you ask me. They’re self-absorbed, in their own little worlds, oblivious to others or whether or not their actions may be affecting others. And when they do take others into consideration, it seems it’s usually to fuck them over. Yet everybody out here believes in God. I’ve never met anyone here who didn’t. Why is it that it’s usually the assholes that believe? Do they think that if they’re faithful and religious it’ll make their evil deeds acceptable?

Yeah, I’d say the younger woman does live in back and so do at least 3 kids. They were out running around earlier. In front, of course. I think we’re the only ones who do things in back of our house and who aren’t outside several times a day. I’d be outside more if we had porches or an Arizona room. I’d definitely be outside more if we had a pool and it was hot. If I still smoked, I’d probably be outside when I wanted a cigarette and that’d be a few times an hour!

I couldn’t hear the kids, though if I’d been outside, I’m sure I’d have heard a squeal here and a squeal there.

[namuneulbo]

week one hundred and sixty four

i arrived home to finland early monday morning and arrived homehome at around 2 pm. my sister's boyfriend picked me up from the train station in his dad's extremely old shitty car. we listened to björk and grimes through his phone speaker.

i went out to meet l just a few hours after i came home. we ordered pizza and it got delivered to the wrong address. whose fault it was is still debatable. we did end up getting them in the end though. we didn't do too much. we went to the store by the end of the hangout. l was buying last minute christmas gifts.

tuesday was christmas eve. i got to sleep in and then i got ready to go celebrate at my brother and his girlfriend's place. i've never really liked christmas food and to no surprise, i still don't like it. i love meatballs and i love boiled peas and i love gravy so the combo of that got me through it but all the other things... i can't bare to eat it at all haha.

mom seemed to like her gift. dad had me as his secret santa. i got some glitter socks (as recommended by his fiancé) and a gift card for a store chain. i couldn't manage to use the entire gift card at once so i had to save some for next time i'm home. i can only use it in finland :(

i hung out with my brother on the 25th. we drank beer and listened to music as usual. at one point we were listening to the silent hill 2 soundtrack and i mentioned how i've wanted to play the silent hill games and he just straight up went: "wait!" and went into his office and came back with every single silent hill game for the ps1 and ps2. then he went "oh, and you can borrow my ps2 because i don't use it!". he gave me a bunch of resident evil games too and two other random games. i was so overwhelmed but it's so exciting. i'm gonna have sm fun! i slept on his couch and t picked me up the next morning on the way to m's.

i got home around 4:30 pm and got ready to go to l's place to hang out with her and her new bff l. who i've received... news... about. basically, my friend l has once told me over facetime that she thinks he might be a little... interested in me. nothing confirmed though, she just said there were vibes. when we hung out on monday, she told me she thinks he's like... kind of proper interested. she said that he'll giggle and kick his feet whenever i post a bereal AND she told me they have an inside joke where they'll go "wait, i just need to do something real quick," and then go view one of my tiktoks on really high volume. he's also expressed earlier that his type is quite literally me. bangs, eyeliner and piercings. he's cute and all so i'm honored but uh... he's 17 so yeah. no. scott pilgrim might be a great character but i don't need to be just like him. it was fun hanging out with him though!

i pulled the one night stand move and left early in the morning. i said bye quickly and went home to get my stuff before my dad picked me up to take me to the train. i had been feeling so sick that night and i messaged my mom about it and she went by the pharmacy before i got home. that was so nice of her!!

the day of travel went by so slow. all i did was watch tiktoks. i bought some oat thingy to eat before i went to bed on the ferry but it tasted to bad i genuinely couldn't eat it.

i had work the next day. i came home at around 8 am and had two hours to prepare for my shift. downed a monster throughout my shift. felt ill from time to time. i was super tired. went home. had dinner and did the laundry. chatted with some tinder matches. fell asleep painting my nails.

today i also had work. i planned a date with one of my matches. i'm scared and excited to have a whore era. my goal is to be with a girl for once. i've been on so many dates with women but none of them have ever ended up going anywhere. the person im meeting now is nonbinary so we're getting closer!

i've been feeling nauseous every now and then throughout the week. i don't know why. i need to book an appointment to get some blood tests taken or something.

sotw: motionless in white & knocked loose - slaughterhouse

[guvato]

Tamalog Day 12

Today was probably the day i interacted the least with my Tamas since the Tamalog's beginning as i was really distracted playing video games to give them much of my attention, it doesn't mean they got sick, hungry or sad, cuz honestly i try my best every day to avoid that, so i checked on them sometimes and tried to maintain their Needs at max. I noticed that i tend to spend more time with my Tamas and check on them more regularly while at work, while in my off days i don't give them much attention, don't know why is that, but seems to be my MO.

It starts like any other day, at 7AM, when before going to bed i called the Sitter for each of them, except Fuyofuyotchi woke up asking me to take him to the Arcade, which we did, and we played some matches of that one game where you need to catch falling coins and money bags, and after we played a bit, i called the Sitter for him, checking on Picochutchi and seeing as she was doing fine, i called the Sitter for her and woke up Kuchipatchi to left him to house-sit, and then of course, i fell asleep.

Waking up at 1PM, i was quick to check on everyone and then pick them up from their Sitters, and since everyone was doing okay so i just went on with my day. As i sat to eat, my Pix lightened up and oh boy, Fuyofuyotchi evolved into Mokokotchi! I wonder where all his old legs went to. Anyway, the afternoon was pretty chill, just feeding them bit by bit and checking on their fun meters, Kuchipatchi was not feeling too fond of me, so i have him a LOT of pets, then i fed him some burguers and soup, then he was all set until the night. Picochutchi got a little hungry too so i fed her some Roast Beef and gave her some red beans to make her happier, which helped a lot cuz she loves some red beans. Mokokotchi and i went to the restaurant and he had some gratin and some afternoon tea, after that we played a bit more at the Arcade and i checked on him mostly to clean his poop.

When evening came, i made sure to do a good check on everyone before each of them went to sleep, Mokokotchi being the one to sleep the earliest of the 3, was the first one i checked, and he was doing fine, so i took him to the restaurant and fed some pizza, after that i just waited for him to go to sleep. The Pix seems to be kinda low maintenance, which helps a lot with me not needing to keep constant track on my Tama's needs. Not that i don't like high maintenance devices, it's just that i don't want my Tama to get sick or even die cuz i didn't check on it before going to take a shower or do the dishes (like has happened before.)

Kuchipachi was very happy but kinda hungry, so i fed him the last too meals we had left on the fridge and since it was nearing 9:30PM i didn't want to go to the Arcade with him, but tomorrow we shall do a whole lot of dancing to get some money and fill up that fridge, cuz you know our boy Kuchipatchi LOVES food, so we won't leave him hungry and hanging. 3 OF EACH FOOD IT IS! At 9:30PM, Kuchipatchi went to bed and asked me to help him fall asleep, and no matter the day, i always want to be there for him if he needs me, so after a couple of pets, he fell asleep.

Picochutchi ate some more Roast Beef and went into the TamaVerse to compete in the Arena, and boy today was one of those days that luck just wasn't at our side as even though we played phenomenally, and got pretty much tied with the other contestants we still got only 3rd place, which aye, bummer, but that won't make it less fun as winning isn't all that matters after all. After spending a little more time at the TamaVerse, Picochutchi went home, so come 9:45PM i just made sure everything was okay and let her do her things before going to sleep, and with that, our Tama Day was over.

Honestly i forgot about the social media photo today, sorry. I've been playing a lot of God Of War (2018) and losing track of time, which basically happened today as i told myself to not forget about the social media photo and then forgot about it anyway, lol. Thanks for reading, see you tomorrow. <3

[areallybadwriter]

9/24

found the will to provide an update. got inspired whilst reading through my past posts and decided it would do me some good. and jesus christ, the last couple of posts have a lot of run-ons. i need some more practice obviously.

the city is doing me quite well at the moment. i had a brief stint of absolute disdain for my everyday life when i was unemployed and still adjusting to one of the biggest life changes a human being can experience. there was this period of feeling terrible about my self (physicality-wise) which im presuming is because its a new territory full of new people - a lot more people at that. a lot more people that i shouldn't value their passerby opinions but i do anyways. im getting over it now and am starting to like myself again but boy did i slip for a minute. ive been exploring new places, whether it be food or entertainment, which has provided me a sense of understanding of this place i live in. my friend and i were actually discussing how the city still felt a little weird to reside in, still enough foreignness to give off warning signs at times. we decided we hadn't sat at enough coffeeshops by ourselves yet, or we hadn't gotten enough groceries. i try to remember what moving from my hometown to my college town felt like but i don't recall the same amount of difficulty to adjust. i think in time i will feel better about it, maybe when the weather or just the general business of this place has chewed me up and spit me out a bit. i do hope that the winter is kind.

i had this past weekend off of work so i decided to take the train to this cute lakeside town where my very best friend (who ive known since i was 15) who now lives thousands of miles away was visiting her family's cottage. the train was gorgeous and ive never felt such excitement at the chance of listening to my music, sketching a little, and sitting in my own two seater on a train taking me to the beach. i thought of it as something so valuable i think i would only take someone who i truly love on there. to show them. they kicked us off halfway through to exit the train and board a bus to resume the rest of the trip because there was construction on the tracks. that part wasn't as fun, but i quickly arrived at my destination and had a wonderful less-than-24-hours with my best friend. the cottage her family owns has been in the family for many, many years and they've kept it pretty much the same. its an untouched but well-lived part of history and i basically foam at the mouth with adoration every time im there. its all lace and florals and carved wooden floors. we had a bonfire on the beach the night i arrived and all shared barbecue chicken pizza from this place down the road. her and i split a bottle of chianti and got a little tipsy, while her family talked and laughed amongst themselves. being away from home and familiarity for awhile, it felt really good to stretch out on the beach with all of them. it really filled the void of loneliness and missing my family. we took the train back into the city the next day after we drank coffee and ate breakfast casserole on the beach as the sailboats went by. it was a gorgeous little break and im glad i got to see her at the beginning and end of her trip. we plan on me visiting her next or both of us meeting somewhere in the middle.

one of my other best friends from high school (who is in the same friend group as the girl mentioned above) had a psychotic episode this past week and is most likely in an inpatient mental facility currently. she was my roommate up until i moved to the city and she is still living in our college town, now with her little sister and another bestie from that friend group. while we lived together throughout the years, she definitely had episodes and mentally ill tendencies (honestly, we all did) and it had gotten worse in the recent years. she had finally found some good therapy and some good meds that seemed to be doing wonders for her but i believe she went off of them, thus entering another episode. she was texting complete nonsense to a few of us in an aged group chat and from what i heard, didn't recognize her own sister and ended up calling the cops on herself. i hate being far away and not being able to help more and not being more informed on the situation. i just hope that she gets the inpatient help that she's needed for quite a long time and can get to the bottom of some of these issues. i think its interesting how many of us in the friend group have had psychotic episodes. i don't think i have personally experienced an episode exactly like that but there's something to be said about people forming friend groups around shared feelings and similar mental states.

wyoming is coming to visit me in a couple weeks. we are going to a late-night concert and then hopefully hanging out for awhile the next day. he has not been to my place in the city yet, which i think he will enjoy. the last time we were in the city together it ushered in a new era of how we interacted with each other (in a very positive light imo) so i hope this trip will provide us the same. there's something to be said about neither of us knowing many places or people up here. it lacks years of memories like our hometown so we are rid of burdens and guilt we may have experienced otherwise. maybe our purest forms. ive had a couple revelations about him recently as i haven't seen him in person in awhile and can think more clearly without constant thoughts of how our last time seeing each other was or something. the latest one was that i think i like him a lot more than he likes me. it absolutely stewed the last few days and it was hard to even talk to him over the phone because i kept reminding myself of the heartbreak. we had a conversation weeks ago about being able to love things or people and how both of us were scared that we had never actually done that. talked about how maybe every relationship up until this point had felt faked at times. we both related on these things, but he never clarified whether these feelings applied to our relationship as well. for me, unsurprisingly, it has been the most genuine connection ive ever had and there's never been a need or feeling to fake anything. and i know for a fact i love him. can just tell, and honestly ive felt it from sixteen and on. its something that freaked me out years ago but so much time has wilted the panic of it all. what scares me now is the investment of care ive put into it all, and with that comes certain moments of absolute uncertainty on whether he feels the same at all (especially if we've recently had a conversation about being able to love other people or he's in one of his distant periods). i think seeing him in person and spending that amount of alone time with him will mend some things and hopefully give me insight on how to proceed with the relationship. although at the end of the day, i know he will always be around somehow.

saved this is drafts and forgot what i was going to say next so to post it goes.

xoxo anonymous

[phoenixcatch7]

What abilities might the daycare attendant have been given? How might they use them?

Well, as an animatronic, we can put the da firmly in the 'physically superior to humans' category. Massive strength, processing power, memory, 'reflexes'. For the da we can add immense balance, speed, and flexibility.

Pretty much every joint looks like a ball joint, and their neck has four separate moving parts: base, halfway, top, and the rotor that lets them spin their head like an owl in a propeller hat.

This combined with both sun and moon being seen climbing and jumping and leaping and contorting in ways the other animatronics have no chance of doing (montys big leap being Very Exciting and a Special Ability (that didn't go to freddy)) definitely adds credence to a previous role as a performer. They both certainly like high places!

The most we see of the super strength is sun holding Gregory out at a 90° angle and then throwing him (if gently), but it's still there. The speed, too, is mostly seen in smaller movements, and if you give them a little leeway in standard sb teleportation - they're at least feasible with it! Sorta... Okay well maybe not moon.

These guys are TALL, too. Sun is the only who stands straight to do his skipping but he's easily tall enough to reach the top floor of the play structures if he reaches. Even crouching and bending his head still rises above Gregory.

It's pretty obvious moon has some sort of night vision. Heat vision, too, if the infrared red lights and ability to track you across the entire complex during hourly recharge isn't clear. Heat vision doesn't explain whatever lets him ambush you inside freddy though - heat vision is stopped by even glass, and the other animatronics can see you getting in and immediately lose you. Granting moon the logical deduction skills to figure out what happened to the heat signature when the others can't is a bit unfair to them, and we've already seen some form of xray vision can be installed, given roxy, so maybe moon got the same upgrade?

(It still doesn't explain why roxy can't see you in freddy, but maybe she's just programmed to ignore fleshy bits in animatronic insides....)

It's possible animatronics have some form of connection to the internet - obviously the pizza plex has good wifi - but that really just seems like a Bad Idea all round, whether you care about them being opened to cyber attacks, remote hacking, or just them learning too much about life outside and getting uppity ideas like 'we should be treated better' and 'the pizza plex should be legally shut down because of how much of a hazard it is'. You don't want your child friendly reputation and main money draw to know swear words. We can assume the da isn't an exception here, especially given they work with the youngest kids.

Speaking of, the da is likely trained/programmed with a whole pack of things. The guest profiles, of course, access to security (they may well use the same security cameras Gregory does, if they remember to), first aid, deescalation, sign language, omnilingualism, basic self maintenance, which comes with basic engineering and software scanning skills, magician tricks, acrobatics, contortionism, perhaps a dash of escapism which is probably a lot safer when you're not a squishy human and would make a great spot of thrill when parents don't have to worry about their kids seeing someone drown or suffocate or get stabbed.

It's actually pretty likely sun was the one to install the generators, given they're a massive child safety hazard that a worker w could get fired for and none of them go anywhere near the security desk, the one the da physically can't get close to (the only time they come within an invisible semi circle is during the cutscene, but that is most certainly for the Drama. Other than that, you can hang out there climbing on the desk as long as you want to and all either of them will be able to do is pace that invisible line and stare unblinkingly lol). Being able to trigger the lights without having to go to the front desk is very much a boon for him, and if he hides them moon will have a harder time sabotaging them.

There's also the flying rope, which all of them have access to but only eclipse and moon seem to use. Both times, they summoned, attach to/detach from, and controlled wirelessly. You can get moon to fly outside of the play area but that's a glitch, and whenever he appears outside during hourly recharge he's always on the floor (usually doing some bizzare robot only breakdancing).

As for the moon particle affect... No idea. Potentially some sort of gas or hypnosis, of the same sort vanny does. It too intensifies with proximity, starting off as a semi transparently overlay and getting to the point you can barely see moon through all the glitter. Moon, being a non possessed animatronic and not whatever vanny has going on, may have an explanation, but I'm going to file it under paranormal activity and move on.

The daycare attendant is so fascinating, I love talking about their designs. Like, if one were to build a da, taking into account everything we know about them, what would it involve?

I'm going to talk about their history, appearance, details, and potential theories behind their design, with a healthy dose of headcanon. And it's going to be LONG. I'll break it into reblogs to use multiple line breaks, but that requires I post it in unfinished stages, so bear with me.

First things first, what have we most recently learned? I said in another post that it's a theory that the attendant was originally created for the next door theatre before they were moved to the daycare full time. Similarly, we've just had proof of the existence of Eclipse, who's a absolute darling, if not at all up to date on the state of the plex.

Their arms were revealed to glow. In a dimly lit theatre relying on a light/dark gimmick, glowing forearms is both cool and helpful! But we never saw it in sb. Likely it's a conscious choice, given we see it after the plex is already destroyed, so it's not a lost or removed ability! It simply wouldn't have been very useful, with sun being in bright light at all times and moon trying for... A modicum of stealth.

Perhaps it's also a matter of battery, as another theory suggests the da, as the animatronic actively on patrol during the hourly recharge, and the first one you battle in the game, was originally supposed to be the source of the power upgrade that in the finished game is just readily available to freddy without explanation. Unlike all the other upgrades, which you have to defeat each other animatronic for. The increased power would certainly have been useful for both massively extended patrol times and those transformations, which certainly look power intensive! Booting up and switching over such all encompassing and high level programs has to be draining!

In a lot of the plex, but especially in the daycare, you see a lot of cut corners and animatronics not reaching their full potential (thankfully!). A lot seems hastily patched, from monty joining the band after Bonnie seemingly vanishes from the face of the earth, the constantly collapsing sinkhole in the raceway, the giant rubbish stuffed full sewer area like the underneath of a teenagers bed. Music man doubles as a cleaner. Moon works night shift as security (and a tva on the side lol).

In that regard, the da came across to me as very overworked, when I first encountered it. Sun was stressed and under a lot of strain, stretched thin. His barely contained mania is basically his whole character, besides his natural showmanship. He's jumpy, smothering, and basically five seconds away from wrapping Gregory in bubble wrap at any given moment.

What I found interesting was how he seemed tired. He talks about all these activities, but doesn't actually... Do any of them. He basically plonks Gregory down by the nearest distracting object (though it works against him, this obsession with having everything nice and tidy definitely read to me about trying to keep everything in your power when you have limited control) and doesn't let him leave from that spot. He doesn't speak or try and engage Gregory except to drag him back, he doesn't bother using the flying rope despite having the hook in his back. When he loses Gregory he just sits in a corner with his head in his hands. Whether he's playing hide and seek or crying or whatever you interpret it as, it's not exactly energetic. He's grubby and marked - either he or a staff member should be keeping him as sparkly as the other animatronics, and they're not keeping on top of it.

Moon, on contrast, uses the rope. He bounces and flips and jiggles and walks on his hands and pretends to swim. He's got no problem chasing Gregory into the tunnels once enough generators are flipped. He's not afraid to back off, either - he doesn't stop moving, but instead circles like a culture, muttering to himself. He most likely runs on the same battery as sun, but he's not afraid of using it. Not to mention whatever bizarre but super cool galaxy effect he can use on the hour change, possibly all the way across the map!

Eclipse, meanwhile, has a voice significantly less robotic than the other two, uses the rope, and activates those old glowing arms without a thought, despite the fact that sun and moon are slow and staggering by the time of ruin. For goodness sake, moon can't even get a proper grip on a child's arm, and is fended of by even a single torch beam, despite being completely immune to the torch and a game over if he even touched you in sb.

Theatrical expressive design

Eclipse as ring master

Child safety problems

Likely mechanics of mask/clothes

Implications of room

Chance of fazbear splurging on sign language/disabilities accommodation

Liklihood of bring connected to the Internet (not high)

Security desk barrier (they both can touch and climb on it only in cutscene)

Involvement of light levels

Human actors v endos.

Potential programming and maintenance.

[joelsmochi]

Dirty Work - Javier Peña

Part 2 to Desperation

i really just needed an excuse to use this gif red is def his color

Warnings: possible ooc Javi, smut [minors dni beyond this point], first person POV [Jackie with the big boobiez], also ofc Jackie (she's poc ! i more than likely won't specify her ethnicity so feel free to read as a self-insert), lazy proofreading

Smut warnings: not nearly as filthy as the last one, but still a lil dirty, public (?) sex [it’s in an office y’all], risk of getting caught, strip tease (? eh), SQUIRTING HEHE (pedro’s javi has a squirt kink from last time), overstimulation, slight pain+crying from overstimulation (consensual i promise!), basically brief masochism, worried!Javi, gentle!Javi, tummy bulge, this is basically like…mainstream porn, please proceed with caution, FLUFF at the end they like each other :o

wc: 3.5k (much shorter :( lo siento)

I walk through the halls of the quiet building, the smell of cigarettes and various colognes filling my nostrils. I haven’t seen Javier in a few weeks but we’ve spent nearly every late night on the phone as if we were two lovesick teenagers still living with our parents. Javi wasn’t just some guy I fuck and never call again, he was intriguing and mysterious, but also a little easy to read. He’s funnier than one might imagine—corny, but funny.

I told him about the Ammazza restaurant a couple of nights ago and he had been dying to try some of their food so I decided to be nice enough to surprise him with dinner.

A few people tried to stop me from walking through but I just kept on walking until I saw a room with an open door. I figured it must be where his desk is considering how often he complained about never having enough privacy so I poked my head inside the door and spotted Murphy’s profile, quickly seeing Javi’s face right across from the blonde. I strutted in quickly, making their heads turn at the sound of my platform heels hitting the floor.

“Woah, woah, woah, woah—“ Murphy protested.

I just waved him off without even bothering to look at him. “Shut up, Murphy,” I said before leaning over to pop a kiss onto Javi’s lips and sitting on the edge of his desk. “I brought you some much-needed Ammazza since it sounded like you’d be here late.”

Javi seemed a bit shocked at my appearance but sends me a warm smile nonetheless. “Thank you, uh… How did you know where I worked?”

Shrugging I answered, “I was across the street walking Angie’s dog and I saw you guys come in… That was last week I think?”

“Oh, so you’re stalking me now?” He joked. I noticed him checking out the straps of my chunky heels, probably noting how their fuchsia color complimented my brown skin.

I chuckled. “You just have a hard time blending in.”

“I’ll take your insult as a compliment. What’d you bring me anyways?”

“I didn’t know what you liked so I got you a pizza, much better than back in the states.”

“Thank you, muchas gracias, but I gotta get back to work… I’ll call you later?” He asked.

I smirked at him eyeing my nipples through my white blouse and nodded. “Sure thing, suga’.”

He curled his fingers and tilted his head up a little bit. “Dame un beso,” he hoarsely whispered. I gave him another kiss, only this time our lips linger a little longer. I noticed the smell of cigarettes so I asked for two.

I pulled my red lipstick out of my purse and put some on; I could tell the men were exchanging weird looks but I ignored it and grabbed a pen to write my hotel name and room on one of the cigarettes before I placed a kiss on the cigarette butt and placed it back into his hand. I pecked his cheek to stain it before lighting my cig and leaving without having said another word.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ✮ ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

“Javi?” I called with a swift knock on the open door. “Javi, ¿donde estas?” I took a few extra steps into the room I had visited hours prior and looked around the empty desks. A hand from behind pulled me back out into the hallway and I yelped before being spun around and finding Javier’s eyes. “God, fucking—Jesus, Javier you can’t do that!”

Chuckling he wrapped his arms around my hips to give my ass a firm, slow squeeze, practically grinding his clothed dick against me. “Lo siento, mama,” he whispered against my chin.

I smiled, hovered my lips over his, and tangled my fingers through his work-messy hair. “Te perdono... Why’d you call me and ask me to come back, Javi?”

He tried to kiss me but I backed away, his grip on me causing me to hit the doorway. “Mm, you looked so sexy in those jeans earlier I couldn’t stay away from you another night.”

“You coulda just came to my room.” He picked me up and walked over to his desk after kicking the door shut, and sat me atop some papers in the open area.

“Maybe I wanted you to come to me as you did earlier,” he flirted. I raised daring eyebrows at him and played with the hair on his exposed chest. “How ‘bout we go somewhere a little more… Private?”

“Lead and I shall follow.” He helped me off of the desk and held my hand while I followed him to a nearby office with a door. He shut and locked the door behind me before sitting in the chair with his toned legs sprawled out. “Oh, is this the part where I just get on my knees and beg to suck you dry?” I stood in front of him and watched his eyes follow the lines of my jeans.

“You don’t have to beg sweetheart,” he said while shaking his head ‘no’. After bending over I slowly undo the rest of the buttons on his shirt.

“You wanted me to come crawling back to you, you said?”

“Maybe… That a problem?”

I hummed and ran my cool hands over his sweat-covered chest. “No.” I walked a few feet away, turning my back to him. “You sure nobody else is here? Hmm?” I asked while facing him again.

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

I smirked down at him and unbuttoned my jeans, cheeks flushing at the sight of his jeans tightening around his dick. I untucked my shirt and undid a few buttons at the top, enough to reveal just above my nipples. I turned my back towards him again and bend over as I pulled my tight jeans down my legs. I heard him exhale deeply at the sight of me not having any panties on and still bent over I rubbed my middle fingers up and down my squished slit, shivering at the pressure. I balanced myself as I took my free hand to spread my left ass cheek so that he could see more of me. I jiggled my ass, giggling bashfully at how exposed I am; I stood up and stepped out of my jeans, remembering how he seemed to have liked my shoes earlier. Turning around I took off my blouse, let it slip from my fingers to the floor, and slowly walked to him before I sat on the desk and propped my legs onto his shoulder. He slid his hand up my bare skin, admiring my low eyes and smile.

“Jackie… Jackie, Jackie, Jackie…” He cooed. “Spread your legs for me?” I obeyed his request and propped my right leg on his other shoulder; he rolled his seat closer to me and kissed the goosebumps on my belly. I ruffled his hair a little bit which made him pull his head back to look at my nails. “Mm,” he cheerfully moaned, “Pink, yeah? Like your heels?” He rubbed my calf, leaned back to leave little pecks on my ankle above my heel straps, and darted his tongue out to lick up my entire leg until he got to my hot vulva. His hands gripped the sides of my thighs roughly as he chose not to wait any longer to get a proper taste. He moaned and practically melted into my skin. “You taste better than I remember,” he affirmed.

“Hmm, thank you,” I whispered, leaning back on my elbows. I watched his tongue work over my clit, trying to hollow my moans into breaths but failing miserably. My moans bounced off of the walls in the small room while his mewls fell onto my dripping lips. He buried his nose deeper into the flesh of my pussy and allowed me to close my legs around his head; I cried out his name, begging him to fuck me with his fingers. He just moaned and slowly slid one inside of me wanting to feel me convulse around him before sliding another one in, stretching me out so much with his fingers alone that it nearly burned. “God, you’re gonna make me come already,” I moaned.

“Need to make you squirt again,” he said close enough to my clit to make it vibrate. “That was so sexy…”

Giggling, I said, “Won’t I get—fuck, right there—I can’t get these papers wet?”

“Don’t mind ‘em, cariño, Cesar will live.”

Before I could even think to question him again he sucked my clit between his teeth gently and shamelessly rammed his curled fingers against my g-spot; my hands clamped around his curls and my knees tightened against his jaws. I felt a similar urge as I did that night in the car where I squirted all over his backseat. My eyes closed thinking about him ruthlessly fucking me in the puddles of my secretion was enough to… Well, make it happen again.

I let out the most obnoxiously high-pitched scream as my orgasm took over my body and mind. He pulls his head up, unable to take any more of the pressure my legs were causing; he rubbed my clit with all four of his fingers and pumped his other hand in and out of my pussy at a pace my orgasm couldn’t keep up with. He laughed and boasted once my squirt began to spill everywhere, some even splashed up onto my chin.

“Good fucking girl!” He boasts, not letting up on my body. “Good girl, baby, oh my goodness—“ He cut himself off by giving me a tender kiss. “Do you want me to stop?” He asked after I had finished squirting, but I feel some more build up inside of me so I shook my head and urged him to keep going even though my clit was beginning to swell from the overstimulation. I saw how hungry his eyes grew at the sight of me squirting all over him and wanted to keep it going. The possibility of getting caught made this that much more exhilarating. “Oh, I can feel you squeezing around my fingers… Mmm… M’gonna have to replace my fingers with my cock, how does that sound? Good? Good.”

Watching his slick lips talk me through my elongated orgasm had me speechless—no, practically fucking braindead. His cock replacing his thick fingers and his hand still doing laps along my tender bud was enough to get me going again. This time it started out little, he didn’t even notice it at first and I thought my squirting session was coming to an end, but the numbness of my urethra turned out to be an indicator of another orgasm. As I said, it started out small but ended up much more explosive and messier than the first time. I didn’t feel a single bit of it even as it was coming out, soaking my and Javi’s face in the wetness. He rubbed even harder, almost as if to take out his frustration of it getting all over him.

After a few seconds, I had to use all the strength I could muster to push his hand and body away from me, my moans turned to gasps of agony and my already wet face being soaked in tears. I laid flat on the desk and took a moment to myself, jumping at his hands touching my thigh.

“You okay?” He asked softly after pressing his chest to mine. He kissed my collarbone sweetly and asked, “Was I too rough?”

I rubbed my palm against the side of his face and breathed in a few more times. “I just need a few minutes.” It was true. I loved the way he could effortlessly yet effectively get my body to do the things he wanted even with the slightest touch. I opened my eyes and grinned up at him. “Maybe just be a little gentle now?” He kissed me sorrily a few times. “You can do what you want, just ease up, okay? I loved it,” I reassure, “I love how you can push me to my limits. I just need some softness for a bit, that’s all…” He kept giving me a guilty look, not understanding that I admired him so much more than before. I loved being controlled and used during sex and getting to the point of cumming so hard I shed tears was a new turn-on for me. I kissed his sorrow-filled face and guided our bodies so that we were upright again. “Here,” I whispered; without breaking eye contact I lined his semi-hard cock up with my entrance again, tugging at his hips to inch inside of me. “See? I’m okay, that’s okay.”

He lifted his hands up to my face to place a kiss on my forehead. “Does it hurt?” He asked, pumping only halfway into me.

I shook my head and danced my fingertips over his back. “Shh, sh sh…” I brought him down to kiss me and guided him to fill me back up. “You feel how wet you made me?”

“Yeah?” His breath was shaky and his upper body trembled in my grasp.

“I loved it, I love the pain and the way you use me,” I said in the sense of begging him to forgive himself.

“Yeah?” He whimpered. “You promise?” His slow pumps gave my body time to relax around him. I wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted one of my nipples into my mouth, mewling out a ‘yes’. He cursed at the sight of me, droplets of my squirt still dripping from my hair onto my shoulders. I squirmed at his tip curving to my cervix, surprised (but thankful) that it didn’t hurt. I went to watch his length pump in and out of me but was surprised to find the bulge in my tummy spring up upon his entry into me. He noticed it too, I watched as his eyes widened and he quickly started to worry again.

“Come here,” I ushered before he could even get a word out. I pulled him to lay on me and gasped at how much deeper he seemed to reach. He couldn’t hold his pleasure in any longer. He adjusted us so that his knees were on the desk and my head was hanging off; on his knees above me, and forced my hips up to level with his and he sped his pace up just a little. I pleaded for him to keep going, tantalized by his whimpers and grunts. He shoved his arms under and around my waist to pull me in closer as his thrusts had gotten sloppier. “You’re s’close already,” I said when I felt his shaft throb inside of me.

He kissed me in response and paused for a moment to prop one of my legs on his shoulder; he started pounding inside of me forcing a few yelps to come out whenever he hit my pelvis with his. The desk creaked loudly and sounded as if it were on the verge of collapsing, but that didn’t stop him. After a while his pounding turned into short but fast thrusts, only allowing the base of his shaft to move in and out of me. I screamed his name and clawed at the papers on the desk letting a few books fall off whenever my flailing arms bumped into them. I cupped his face, moaning at his constant rubbing against my sweet spot.

“Oh, baby, you look so pretty like this,” he said.

Before I could give him some more dirty talk the sound of the other door slamming shut caused both Javi and me to freeze. I covered my grimacing mouth and sat up after he pulled out to tiptoe to the door. I didn’t hear what was said, but I could tell there were at least two men in the bigger room yet I am unable to move in the slightest bit. Javi turned the light off as quietly as the switch would allow and I prayed that neither of the men were looking at the opaque glass on the door. The further door being heard slamming shut again made Javi look outside, scanning the room.

“Be right back,” he whispered while pulling his jeans up and grabbing his gun.

Freaking out I tried to stop him. “No, no, Javi, please don’t leave me alone!” I whispered harshly.

Hey, I said possibly getting caught was a turn-on. Not nearly getting caught.

“It’ll be for two seconds, cariño, okay? I promise I’ll be right back.” He kissed my forehead, and left, but kept his promise. He was gone for maybe 45 seconds before he walked back in and shut the door. “We’re okay… Um… Do you want to stop?” He asked after standing in front of me.

I rolled my eyes and smirked, pulling him in for a kiss. My heart still pounding from the quick scare caused me to shiver in his arms but I ignored it and undid his pants again. “I want you to fucking hurry up and cum inside of me before we actually get fucking caught,” I urged, turning around on the desk into doggy position and not letting any more time slip away by putting his cock back inside of me.

“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckles, “it won’t take long.” He gave my ass a light but loud spank, tugging at the ends of my hair with his free hand. He pulled me back by my hair to meet him halfway on his dick, moaning out a loud, “Fuck, your ass is amazing.” He planted a kiss on my spine and dug himself into my overflowing pool of discharge and precum. It took him no longer than a few minutes of listening to my whines from how my pussy was aching for his cum for him to get close again. “You feel so fucking amazing,” he breathed onto my back, giving it a love bite.

“Javi, I can’t wait anymore…” I begged, “Please fill me up.” His hand wrapped around the front of my neck at my words, and he began to let his warm cum pour inside of me. “You’re so good to me, Daddy.” He shoved himself deeper inside of me to give me his last few drops.

“I’m good to you?” He tiredly asked.

I turned back around after he pulled out and gave him a sloppy smooch; he fixed my hair and grinned at me. “You’re so good to me.”

“Sorry about earli—“

I placed a finger on his lips and shushed him. “I’m fine, really.”

“Promise me again,” he insisted.

“Javier Peña, prometo… Que me encantó… There, does me saying it in Spanish make you believe me?” I laughed at his sleepy state.

“Actually, yeah.” He kissed me again and again and again until I felt his cum starting to drip out of me. “Here…” He grabbed my jeans and helped me into them carefully, picking me up off the piss-soaked and messy desk; he zipped and buttoned my pants for me before grabbing my shirt. “You should wear this on our date,” he nonchalantly mentioned.

I scoff up at him and start to close the blouse. “Excuse me, Agent Peña, I don’t believe you asked me properly.”

Blushing he finished dressing and quickly threw me over his shoulder earning a quick yelp from me. He walked out of the room to his desk and began gathering his things with his other hand. “Pretty girl, will you do me the honor of gracing me with your presence over a lovely dinner at Romas?” Laughing, I said yes to his proper offer which rewarded me with a slap on my ass as we began to leave the building. “Atta girl!” Once we arrived at his car he sets me on my feet and asked, “Need a ride?”

“Mhm… I walked because it’s not too far from me.” He opened the passenger door for me so I gave him one more kiss before climbing in. He turns one of his scanners off and lights a cigarette for us to split on the short drive to my hotel. “Javi?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you wanna fuck in the Cesar guy's office?”

He choked on a laugh. “He gave me some bullshit tip which ruined my progress… Why?”

“I feel bad,” I admitted. “We could have at least cleaned it up a little… I mean I did piss everywhere.”

Shrugging he said, “If you met him you’d know why it didn’t matter.”

“I’m gonna trust you on that,” I said. “How was your pizza?”

He glanced over at me and nodded happily. “Oh it was great, thank you. Are you hungry? You told me once you always eat dinner late.”

I mantled at the small detail he remembered, firmly nodding my head. “They have good food at the hotel… Why don’t you stay over tonight?”

[myckicade]

Prompt: Ok so we all know Coco is touch starved, and would be clingy af in a relationship. What about Coco x wife!reader, while she’s trying to do basic errands/chores and Coco is her shadow?

A/N: I’ve been waiting for this one. I really have. Hee hee. I just adore Coco. <3 . This piece sort of follows the story of the last two Coco x Reader pieces I have written, but it will stand-alone, just fine. And, I swear, these things just have a mind of their own. I can continue to apologize for length, and content, but, in the end... I let the story tell itself. ;) . <3 .

As a warning, I come from Vermont, where we have a plastic bag ban. Last I knew, California was the first state to have one. I don’t know how that would translate to Santo Padre, but… When I mention fabric bags, I mean reusables, and the ban is why. ^^;;;;.

Title: Worthwhile

Teaser: He’s a little rough, your Coco, foul-mouthed, and quick to anger. Untrusting, and bitchier than a woman, on his best day. But, once you have his love, you have it. All of it.

“Okay…” you murmur, slowly, eyes scanning over the paper in front of you. Fifteen items, nothing crazy. Shouldn’t take you more than an hour, tops, and that includes travel to and from the store. “I think I’ve got everything we need… And, specials included your beer, and those little frozen cream puffs.”

Beside you, Coco groans, deep and guttural. “Fuck, I love those things.”

You giggle, but keep reading. Your man is too damn cute. “Feminine products.”

“Do those count as special?” Coco genuinely sounds thoughtful, as he steps up behind you, where you are leaning over the counter top. He wraps his arms around your waist, chin coming to rest on your shoulder. “Kinda’ a necessity, ain’t they?”

Tipping your head, you glance to your husband. Seriously. This man is a treasure. “Why don’t you run for political office?” you tease, pleased when Coco chuckles.

“Yeah, my record’ll look great, on the campaign trail.”

You shrug. “You can tackle pink tax, and tax evasion, at the same time.”

Coco grins, and steals a peck off your lips. “What else you got on there, muñeca?”

“Hmmm, let’s see…” You turn back to your list, tapping the pen against your lips, thoughtfully. Spying the next item on it, you try not to let out another giggle. He’s not going to like this one. “Letty asked if we could have that cauliflower pizza thing for dinner, tonight.”

As expected, this groan is decidedly not from food lust. “Fuckin’ vegetarians. When the hell is she gonna’ get over this shit?”

“It’s just a phase, Coco,” you remind him, for the… Well, honestly, you’ve lost track. It started shortly after the wedding, Letty’s change in diet, and you’re still not convinced the two aren’t related. You’re just not entirely sure how. But, two months in, and she’s still looking healthy, so you won’t send up any alarms. “It’s very popular at her high school, right now.”

Coco scoffs, disgusted. “When the hell’d she start copyin’ other people, anyway? My girl ain’t no follower.”

The words send a shot straight to your heart. He’s a little rough, your Coco, foul-mouthed, and quick to anger. Untrusting, and bitchier than a woman, on his best day. But, once you have his love, you have it. All of it. The love he has for Leticia is the greatest proof. They may carry on like cats and dogs, but when push comes to shove, there is nothing they won’t do for one another. My girl. It brings a warmth to your soul, and a smile to your lips.

You shake it off, enough to formulate a response. “She’s figuring out how to be her own woman. Trying new things.” You shrug, not wanting to make a big deal of it. You were Letty’s age, once, of course. And, a girl, to boot. Some things, Coco just won’t be able to understand. “It’s a process.” He hums, still disgruntled, but doesn’t push out another word. “You want anything else?” you ask, holding up your list. “I’ve gotta’ get going, before I run into the football widows.”

Before you can even take a step away, Coco tightens his arms around you. “You sure you gotta’ go, though?” he asks, leaning in to brush his lips against your neck. “With the house all to ourselves, like this?”

“If I don’t go,” you start, as Coco’s touches gain intent, becoming teasing kisses. Damn him. It feels nice, you won’t lie, but there are other things on your mind, right now. Priorities.

You’re just… having trouble remembering what they are.

Oh. Yeah. Shopping.

“If I don’t go, we won’t have anything for dinner.”

Another kiss, accompanied by a barely-there swipe of tongue. You shiver, and Coco moves his lips to your ear. “We can order in,” he whispers, breath so invitingly warm against your skin.

Oh, this asshole.

“And, what are we supposed to have for breakfast, tomorrow?” you try, again. “Half an Eggo, and a pack of Skittles?”

Coco cuddles you closer, again. “Ain’t you never heard about livin’ on love, baby?” Some of his smoothest work, that is. And, it’s almost convincing. Almost. You can imagine the afternoon ahead, if you give in. Your clothes will come off, and won’t be back on until the last second, before Letty walks back through the front door. By that time, you’ll be too tired to roll your ass off the bed, let alone go grocery shopping. And, you promised Letty you’d talk Coco into that cauliflower pizza.

“Great as that sounds,” you agree, preparing to capitalize on the truth. You ease yourself away from Coco’s stubborn hold, and give him one more smooch, just to soften the blow to come. “I don’t think Letty will appreciate the sentiment.”

A third groan. You must be going for a record. “C’mon, (y/n).” Oh, he’s whining. It’s so cute, it’s unreal. “We’ll find some place that delivers that rabbit food shit.”

Unfortunately for Coco, you’re already grabbing your bag. Lucky for you. You’re still two seconds from giving him what he wants. (He just doesn’t need to know so). “I’ll be back in a while.” God willing. “If you think of anything else, call my cell.” You rush out the front door, and don’t look back. If you see the look on your husband’s face, you know you’re as good as done.

*

Well, what the shit? Coco stares at the front door as it closes, you on the wrong fucking side of it. His arms are at his sides, palms turned toward the ceiling. That went so well. He kind of can’t believe you just walked away, like that. Left him alone, and wanting. In your big, empty house.

He probably should have volunteered to tag along, instead of just chasing you off.

Fuck.

Glancing around, Coco tries to find something to do. Something to clean, at the very least. But, that’s the trouble with having moved in with you, after the wedding, he supposes. Ain’t nothing to tidy up. Not that the three of you don’t have possessions. They’re all just in their proper places. Probably Leticia’s doing, in the end. He’d had a long talk with her, before the move, that she absolutely has to keep her shit where it belongs. Your house isn’t like their house. There aren’t burn marks in the carpet, or gouges in the coffee table. Dishes go in the damned dishwasher, not left to pile up on the counter, or in the sink. Beds get made. Laundry gets folded, and put away. No more wrinkled heaps in the clothes basket. So far, the kid’s been doing good. Real good.

Coco, though? He’s never felt so unnerved in his life.

It was different when he just visited. Spent a night or two, here or there. He’d almost felt at home, then, stupid as it sounds. At home, with the knowledge he wasn’t staying. But, now? Now, the reality has settled in, and he feels so-so… out of place. There’s so much he’s struggling to adjust to.

You have a purified water system installed under the sink, where Coco is used to buying bottled water.

You have a dining room, where Coco and Letty are used to eating on the couch.

You have an extended cable package, whatever the fuck that is.

You kind of have it all, here, certainly by comparison to what Coco is used to. The best of everything. Which really makes him wonder – not for the first time – what the hell you’re doing with a dirt-poor biker for a husband? You’ve had this conversation, on multiple occasions, and you’ve explained yourself, every time. But, this time… This time, you’re not around to give that speech. You’re not around to hold him, and kiss his face, and reassure him in a way that only you can. No, you’re at the grocery store, shopping for Coco, and his kid, which was apparently a better offer than staying home with him.

Oh, nope. Nope, he’s doing it, again. He can feel it. You love him, he reminds himself. You’ve got his ring on your finger, his last name, and – God-willing – his baby in your belly. By choice. All by choice.

Coco takes a deep breath, in. Lets it back out, slowly. Tries not to get sick, for all the nerves coming up to greet him. He wraps one arm around his own torso, free hand moving up to cover his mouth.

Fuck, he hopes you get back, soon.

*

You let out a deep sigh, as you park your car in the garage. Oh, it is so good to be home, at long-last. Talk about Old Home Week. You’d run into everyone, and his brother, at the grocery store. Shopping had taken nearly twice as long as you’d meant for it to, and you just know Coco must be losing his mind, by now. You hate to think about it, in such terms, but, sometimes… Well, sometimes, Coco reminds you of a new puppy. You can’t really leave him alone, without some kind of separation anxiety creeping up on him.

Ah, well. At least he isn’t ripping down the drapes, and shredding the couch cushions.

You blink. Well. That you know of.

Shaking your head, you climb out of the car, mentally preparing to unload armloads of bags. Maybe, if you really, really try, today will be the day you can finally get all twenty bags in, in one trip.

Right. And, shortly thereafter, you can have both forearms set, and casted. Be a real turn-on, in the bedroom.

You’ve managed to grab half a dozen bags, when the door to the mud room opens. “Hey, don’t grab too many!” Letty warns, as she comes hopping down the steps. “Let us help!”

Glancing up, you smile. For having had such a rough start, Letty can be a sweet girl. You know she gets that from her father. “Well, thank you,” you reply, resting a few, fabric handles onto her outstretched hands.

Letty grins, lowering her hands to her sides, before leaning in. “Did you talk him into it?” she whispers, conspiratorially.

You snicker, and whisper back, “He isn’t getting a choice. He’s outnumbered.”

“Yes!” Her hiss of victory is hardly subtle, catching Coco’s attention as he pokes his head out the door.

“You two plottin’ against me, again?”

“Yes,” you and Letty reply, in unison, leading you to erupt into a fit of giggles.

Coco is all grins. “’Course, you are.” He strides closer, he and Letty dancing around one another as she moves into the house. You lean into the car, and retrieve a few more bags. If Coco’s out here, he might as well assist. He’s peering into the car, once you stand back up, and lets out a low whistle. “Damn, (y/n)! You buy out the whole store, or what?”

“Hardly,” you reply, dryly. You hold up your hands, offering Coco the bags. “Here you go.”

“Oh, don’t mind if I do.” Thankfully, your hold on the bags is solid. Instead of grabbing the groceries, Coco’s hands are suddenly groping all over you. One hand is settled firmly at your ass, the other sliding into your hair, at the back of your head. He wastes no time diving in for a slow, deep kiss, and, damn, does his timing suck. He could have at least let you put the bags down, first. The contact makes you tingle, and has you regretting your decision not to stay home. Coco pulls back, after a few seconds, and hums. “Mm. Best delivery ever.”

You can’t help the small snort of amused laughter that leaves your throat. “Good try, Coco,” you praise, easing back far enough to offer him the bags, again. The look of disappointment on his face is just pitiful. “I’m not banging you in the garage.”

He has the grace to mock gasp. “I’d never!” It’s a crock, and you both know it. He looks too amused to be repentant, and you look too aware to be angry. You just raise your hands, slightly, in a third offer. Coco sighs. “All right. All right.” He takes the bags from your hands.

“Thank you.” You grab another load for yourself, rounding the open car door to follow Coco’s lead, into the house. One more trip for each of you, and you should have it covered. So much for only buying fifteen items.

Coco might be right about buying out the store.

*

Watching from the dining room, Coco has a good view of you and Letty unpacking the last of the groceries. Damn kid, she’d thrown him out, about ten minutes prior.

“Less groping, more helping, Coco,” Letty had warned him, after he’d tried to pin you against the sink.

It had been his last warning. Now, he’s been banished. Not the worst thing in the world, not really. Over the last few weeks, he’s really learned that there are some tasks he’s not so fond of. Pruning roses… Yeah, he’s pretty sure you’ll never let him do that, again. And, hey, nobody told him what to fill the bird feeder with. Unpacking groceries goes on that list, somewhere between line-drying laundry, and a streak-free mirror. He’s not sure why. Goodness knows, it makes him feel like a kid at Christmas, most times. Since being with you, though…

Since being with you, he feels like he’s taking advantage of something.

Yes, groceries are a strange place to let that feeling land, but he can’t help it. Coco’s been responsible for feeding himself since before he cares to remember. The only time anyone provided his meals was during deployment, and half that shit barely passed for edible. You, though… You keep the house stocked with more food than he’s seen anywhere, outside of a corner market. Letty always has options to take to school, and there’s a nutritious dinner on the table, almost every night. (Some nights, he actually does win the battle for delivery). If Coco goes on a run, you send him along with snacks for the road. And, yeah, he kinda’ likes that. He also likes the energy bars you picked out for him, last week. Something with cherries, and dark chocolate. He wonders, for a second, if you picked up any more. Come in handy during his mid-week trip outta’ town.

Coco blinks. Then, he does it again, just for good measure. That’s it. That’s what’s so fucking weird about this whole thing.

It’s you.

Okay, no, it’s not you, you. But, it’s you. It’s you, taking care of him. It’s you, seeing to his needs. Letty’s needs. It’s you, being his wife, his partner. It’s you, slotting into the place of role-model for his teenaged daughter. Welcoming them into your home. Not treating it like it’s your home. It’s you, being so fucking perfect for him, it’s taken his mind all this time to catch up with reality.

Coco doesn’t get perfect. Perfect doesn’t want him.

Except, now, it does.

Before he knows what he’s doing, Coco strides into the kitchen. He doesn’t wait for you to put the box of pasta in the cupboard. He just takes it from your hand, ignoring your confused look, as he tosses it onto the counter.

“Coco!” Letty admonishes, but it’s no use. He’s already lifting you off the floor, arms around your perfect backside. The kid gives a long-suffering sigh, he hears it, but pays it no mind.

Nothing – nothing – is going to keep him from holding you in his arms.

Your own arms go around Coco’s neck, and you smile down at him, surprise still lingering in your eyes. “Uhm… Hi, there.”

Coco grins. “Hey, muñeca.” Leaning up, he pecks you on the lips.

“Can I help you with something?” you ask, to which Coco shakes his head. Closes his eyes, as your fingers play in his hair.

“Nah. Got all I need.”

*

Pulling a package of mixed vegetables from the half-unpacked shopping bag, Letty rolls her eyes. You two… God, you’re gross. Coco always has his hands on you, no matter what you’re trying to do. It’s a wonder you don’t carry a damned fly swatter around. Actually, it’s a wonder you ever accomplish anything. He’s always smooching, and smiling, and snuggling at you. It’s disgusting. It’s pathetic.

It’s so damned cute, it’s sickening.

Really, Letty’s enjoying seeing Coco so happy. Like, genuinely happy. Not the false pride he carries around with his kutte. He’s more relaxed, nowadays. He drinks less, and he spends more time at home, both of which mean he’s not hanging around with those skanks at the clubhouse. He eats more, he’s healthier… Nothing to complain about, there.

And, hey, she has no complaints about you, either. You’re pretty cool, all-around. A woman who takes care of herself, and her family, and doesn’t bitch about either one. You’re not using Coco for money, or status, none of the shit she’s always been worried her father would fall into. There aren’t arguments, every night, not even between herself and Coco, as of late. No hostilities, nothing to avoid the house over. Just good dinners, and movies, and a new fish tank in her room. (Okay, so, you’d earned some major points with that birthday gift. She hadn’t actually expected to get one, when she’d mentioned it). For the first time, she understands what a peaceful, happy family feels like. It feels nice. It feels like home.

Glancing back to where Coco now has you perched on the counter top, stealing the most syrupy-sweet smooches… Letty can’t help but smile. Home is A-okay by her.

*

The sound of the air conditioner humming in the bedroom usually lulls you right to sleep. Tonight, it’s just providing you with white noise, a low background track to your thoughts. You don’t mind, not really. It gives you a few minutes to reflect on the day that’s just ended. To plan your day, tomorrow. To weave your fingers through Coco’s hair, and listen to him breathe. That, alone, makes it worthwhile.

Coco has been asleep against your shoulder for nearly an hour, now. Your arms are wrapped around him, comfortably, his own around your waist. You’d urged him up to bed, after he’d fallen asleep on the couch, his head in your lap. He’d snoozed from the middle of the movie, to the end of the nightly news report. Letty had tsked, and complained that no one had any business, whatsoever, in falling asleep during Zombieland. (How he’d stayed asleep was still a wonder to you, both, for how hard you’d been laughing at Tallahassee). With your fingers in his hair, Coco had been blissfully unaware for a couple of hours.

Glancing down, you take in the sight of your husband’s sleeping face. He looks so damn peaceful, the kind you’d outright murder to preserve for him. Coco’s still struggling with sleep, and relaxation, even though you’d hoped it would ease up, once your nuptials had passed. Most of it, you know will never go away. Anxiety doesn’t have a magic wand, or some perfect little on/off switch. And, all things considered, today wasn’t a terrible day. You’d been able to leave the house, with minimal panic on Coco’s part. Granted, it had taken extra time to get the groceries put away, and dinner made, but… You understand, as much as you are able to, that Coco needs the reassurances. It doesn’t cost you anything to carve a few moments from the day, every here and there, to give him what he needs.

Okay, so it did cost you that first batch of pancakes, this morning. They’d burned on the stove, and set off the smoke alarms, when he’d insisted on a dance through the living room. But, Coco loved the song you’d been playing on your Spotify, so there was really no denying him.

Oh, and… Yeah, you’d missed that phone call from the bank, the week before. Your husband had slipped up next to you, on the porch swing, and snuggled you to within an inch of your life. An easy fix, and you still got the business loan, but…

And, sure, you’ve been late to work, on numerous occasions. Coco has a habit of sneaking into your morning shower. And, after that… Well, hell, you own the company. It’s not like you have to explain to the boss that you’re late to your shift, on account of baby-dancing. (Fucking forums).

Point is, you’re more than happy to take care of Coco’s emotional needs. It may take you an extra hour to pay your bills. Daily tidying may have become every-other-day-if-you’re-lucky tidying. And, your ass may have gone numb, tonight, while he slept on your thigh. During which time, you could have loaded the dishwasher. Taken out the trash. Any number of tasks that have been neglected, in the name of Coco. They can wait.

Leaning in, you press a tender kiss to your husband’s forehead, before settling back in, and closing your eyes. Yes, chores can wait. Work can wait. The whole world can hold it, with both hands. So long as you’re around, Coco’s well-being will never have to take the back seat.

*

P.S. If Coco denies it, he’s full of it. He fucking loved that cauliflower pizza. Fucking vegetarians, indeed.

Masterlist | Request | Tag List

[letarasstuff]

(No) Clean Shaven Doctors

(A/N): This was requested by an anon and is based on this concept and on this ask. Have fun reading it!

Summary: How will Spencer's daughter react to him sporting a beard?

Warnings: Mentions of razors, decriptions of shaving, tooth rotting fluff

Wordcount: 1.2k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________

(Y/N) likes her doctors just like Sherlock Holmes: Clean shaven. This may be because she never has seen her father with anything but a five o’clock shadow at most. After all Spencer really doesn’t like the scratchy feeling on his face and neck from growing a beard. But sometimes it’s inevitable.

Nothing hurts the genius more than being away from his daughter for longer than three days. The three year old is his pride and joy. Unfortunately the case they were working on took longer than expected. Way longer. After three weeks and four days the team is finally able to board the jet, having found the UnSub only mere hours prior.

The mood is calm, if not even happy. The team is relieved to come back home. Hotch is missing Jack and Beth. Morgan can’t wait to hug Penelope and get dinner with her to talk about the most recent gossip of the bureau. Emily itches to hold Sergio in her arms and tell him what a good boy he is. Rossi only wants to come home to his mansion and open an expensive bottle of wine. Or scotch, depending on his mood. JJ is excited to finally see Henry and Will again, spending some good family quality time with them.

But nobody is as eager to get home as Spencer. Every free minute he was on the phone, talking with his daughter about anything she wanted to tell him. It’s debatable who misses who more, because both seem to be a mess from what Penelope told the others. Still, it’s understandable. They are the only kind of blood related family they have nearby so it’s natural that they cling to each other.

“Hey kid, what do you think Wonder Baby will say to your new style?” Derek interrupts his reading. Confused Spencer puts his book down to give him his undivided attention. “I didn’t change my style. In fact I wore this outfit the day we departed from Quantico, I don’t understand what you mean.”

Derek laughs and points to the genius’ face. Out of reflex he touches his cheeks, getting the hint. Being the sometimes frazzled mind he forgot to pack his shaving kit. Originally the case shouldn’t have taken more than a week to solve, but the officers at the precinct weren’t exactly solicitous to help the FBI, feeling like they are not good enough to work the case since the feds were getting involved, so most of the work got stuck with the BAU.

Also, to be perfectly honest Spencer hasn’t had the time to buy a razor and shaving cream, too many things were more important than the extended maintenance of the body. “Oh. OH, I’m really not sure. I mean she never saw me with a beard, so I just hope (Y/N) is able to recognize me. I also planned to get rid of it as soon as I get home. I don’t feel comfortable with a squirrel in my face.” (If any of you get this reference, I love you.)

Morgan nods and puts his headphones back on, emerging in a world consisting of music to process what happened on the case.

Not long after this conversation the jet finally touches down in the DC area. Basically every loved one of the team is there to greet them. Most of the time (Y/N) was with Penelope except for a few nights, where the tech analyst had to pull an all-nighter. On these nights she had a sleepover with Henry.

As soon as the team leaves the jet, a big welcoming hug session starts. Many stories are swapped and tears cried in the short time. Only one is looking around in confusion. “Where’s (Y/N)?” Spencer asks Will, who has his arm around JJ. She puts her head on his shoulder, being the disgustingly sweet couple they are.

“Penelope took her to the bathroom, she needed a ‘potty break’”, he answers. His words nearly drowned in the shouted “DADDY!” from a certain girl. Spencer turns around to see his toddler running towards him. A small voice inside his head worries that she is going to fall, because she is prone to clumsiness, and wants to warn her. But his own excitement overrules and he just kneels down to be able to collide with her.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, they are reunited. (Y/N) puts her head into his shoulder, murmuring: “I missed you so much. So so much.” Her father’s heart breaks a little at her small voice, a certain sadness resonates with it. “I’m here. I won’t leave you so soon. I missed you, too.” “But I missed you more!” She argues and to prove her point she goes to give Spencer a kiss on his cheek.

Quickly she pulls away. “Ouchy! Daddy, you made me ouchy!” Touching his face again, He understands what his daughter means. Before he is able to reassure her that he will get rid of his beard, she pulls out of his grip. “Daddy, make it go away. I won’t give you kissies until you make go away!” The rest watches this interaction with smiles. Derek tries to muffle his laughter, who is immediately put into his place by Penelope. “It’s about kissies or no kissies, so stop making fun of her”, she whispers in a serious tone.

“Sweetheart, I promise you that I’ll make the scratchy thing go away as soon as we get home, ok?” Spencer holds his pinky out for her to loop her own around it. It’s their ritual of an unbreakable promise. (Y/N) nods and takes it. “Now, do you want me to pick you up and go home? We can have pizza for dinner.” “PIZZA!”

The little crowd disperse quickly after that. Everybody is happy to not see the other for a couple of days, since it’s a Friday night. As much as the team loves each other, three and a half weeks together was a bit too much.

“Alright, Daddy has ordered the pizza and you are in your jammies. Do you want to watch me make the beard go away to make sure it is gone?” (Y/N) nods vehemently. Spencer picks her up and sits her down next to the sink in the bathroom.

With big eyes the toddler follows her father’s moves. Especially putting the shaving cream on fascinates her. “Daddy, me too?” She asks, gesturing her own face. Laughing Spencer boops her nose, leaving a small streak of the white cream. Content with that she continues watching him. Every stroke of the razor is reviewed by her with the most interest. After washing the leftover shaving cream of his and hers face off, she puts her hands on his cheeks.

“Soft again”, (Y/N) wonders, completely amazed by the result. The father smiles softly. “Yes, Baby. The beard is gone. Do you like it?” Her answer is peppering his face with small kisses, tickling him more than he wants to admit.

They spend a calm evening together, watching a few kids movies and building a pillow fort in the living room, where they even sleep in. In the morning Spencer wakes up with his daughter’s cheek pressed onto his.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch

Spencer Reid x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

[clementinesjourney]

Record Shop Funk - Pt. 1 Like real people do

A.N. : Hey guys, so i had this idea yesterday, and i really hope you'll like it. <3

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Words: 1,9k

Pairing: camboy!Steve x Reader, roommate!Bucky x reader, Stucky x reader (as the story goes)

Warnings: nothing yet :)

Summary: Who knew that having a secret crush, then a hearbreak will end in such a sweet thing..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Bucky shared an apartment above the recordshop you both worked in. Your aunt was the owner of both, so it was a fairly good payment, and a fairly good apartment for a cheap price. It was a bright and big apartment with two bedrooms, so your decided to rent it out, all while searching for a helper to the shop downstairs. When Bucky came in applying for the job, you asked out of joke if he needs a place to live since you had seen around 5 people already and none of them felt right. His eyes lit up as he said he is in fact looking for a place. Since he was fitting for a job, and looked like a decent guy, you congratulated him on his new job, and asked if he wants to see the place today. You still had one and a half hour to close, but after it you would gladly show him the apartment.

He had nothing better to do, so he agreed to it, feeling happy about having a job he might actually like and a coworker he might actually will get along with.

-Do you drink coffee? I was thinking of getting one in the meantime. My friend works close by, and they make the best coffee in town. - He asked.

-I could go for one thank you - you smiled at him - iced cold-brew, no sugar, i'm sweet enough.. - you said with a smile.

He couldn't help but smile back at the joke. When he arrived at the café, he saw his friend Steve flirting with a girl whom he could visibly see trembling just cause he talked to her. Steve always had his way with girls, ever since the serum of course. After he broke up with Peggy, it was mostly just hookups, never finding a girl worth keeping around. Not as if they werent kind, pretty or good to him, it just never felt right. Bucky smiled at his friend, Steve immediately shifted his gaze from the girl, to a very happy Bucky.

-Did you get the job?

-Better.. I got the job, and she has a room for rent which i'll see tonight.

-Wow Bucky, i didn't know you were even better then i am.. sooo how does she look? - asked Steve with a slight wiggle of his eyebrows. He wanted Bucky to get a girl since ages and hearing this, his mind immediately ventured there.

-5'7, ginger, green eyes, freckles, curvy just the right places. why?

-Nothing Buck.. nothing.. - Steve said smirking at his friend.. Bucky never realized when he liked a girl, so he never really acted on it. He last had a woman back in the 40's.

-Sooo i know you didn't come to have chat with me, one black coffee and.. ?

-ah, iced cold-brew, no sugar..

After paying for the coffee, he hurried back to the shop, hoping to get to know his coworker a little bit better.

You thanked him for the coffee, and when you tried to pay, he refused.

-Next round's mine then. - You smiled at him with your 1000 watt smile, which again he couldn't help but smile back at.

-So tell me about you Bucky, what do you do in your freetime?

-Nothing really, just reading, spending time with my friends, kind of thats it.. I have a boring life really. What about you?

-Well, i work here, then i go home and listen to music, cook, god i love to cook, thats a big pro for the apartment.. just saying. - you said with a playful wink. - besides that nothing much. Sometimes i go to a nearby bar with my friends maybe concerts and thats it.

-I like washing dishes if that helps with the application for the room. - he said with a shy laugh which made your heart skip a beat.

- It sure does.. Do you leave your stuff around?

-No i'm a tidy person.. thank you very much. - he said cockily (just for the sake of being funny really).

-Okay okay, if you like it you can have the room, just promise to tell if you bring up a girl so i can leave. The walls are kind of thin.

-It's okay, i don't really...

-Oh um i'm sorry, i didn't meant to intrude, it just something i would really like everyone to add to their rental contracts. - you chuckled embarassed.

-Noo no, it's okay, i'm not embarassed by it. I guess i don't want hook ups, if one day there's someone i'll tell in advance.

-yea me too, i promise. If you end up renting it anyway haha. on that note it's time to close so i can show the room in a min.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you opened the door to the apartment Buckyquietly took in it all. It was really bright, white walls with paintings all over the walls, plants in every corner or shelf you can put one on, a comfy looking mustard couch, aztec-y rug under the coffeetable, and a wall fully shelved, filled with books and little trinkets, it looked like a home he never had a chance to have. The livingroom had an american kitchen on the side, island in the middle of the kitchen area, it was white, and blue which reminded him of greece, down the hallway you showed him the bathroom which of course had a lot of plants that liked the atmosphere of a bathroom, a shower in the corner and a bathtub under the window. You then showed the empty room he could rent out. It only had a shelf and a wardrobe, and a queen sized bed. No decorations, no signs of anybody ever living there. You then pointed to the room the opposit of what could possibly be Bucky's in the future, saying that is yours. You didn't show your room, he wasn't gonna go in there anyway, and showing your most private space on the first day didn't seem like a good idea either. You then invited him out to the balcony, watching the setting sun, smoking a cigarette.

-So thats about it, what do you think?

-I really like it, and i mean.. my workplace is pretty close so thats a plus, also you said something about cooking all the time.. sooo if it's alright with you i would love to rent it out.

-It's settled then roomie. I'll give you the keys, you can move in whenever you want to. Tomorrow we are closed, so maybe that would be ideal.

-Yea, then tomorrow it is then. I'll ask my friend to help, then we can maybe hang a bit if you're free.

-Sure, i have nothing planned, and it's good to know who i'll be living with. - you said with a smile.

Before closing the door, you said your goodbyes, and you realized what did you just do, after he wished you good night with a killer halfsmile that almost had your knees buckle. You just agreed to living together with possibly the most handsome man you've ever seen who is also your new coworker, so you will basically spend most of your time with him.. Guess we'll see how this goes you thought to yourself.

Morning came soon enough, you were sitting out on the balcony when you saw Bucky arrive with a very tall, just as handsome man, carrying boxes of books, and bags of clothing. Bucky looked up at the balcony, waving towards you, you waved back, then moved to open the front door before going back out to the balcony, resuming your coffee and smoke.

When they finished bringing all Bucky's stuff in, it was already midday, so you decided you'd order pizza for all of you, as in like a welcome present.

-Hey guys, i'm thinking of ordering pizza, what kind would you like?

-Oh (y/n) you don't have to. - said Bucky, earning a smirk from Steve as he looked back and forth between you two.

- Noo i insist, today won't be the day i'll start to slowly kill you with my cooking. - you said giggling a bit.

- Whatever's fine peach. - said Steve with a wink, that you decided was just out of friendlyness. You didn't veen knew his name, and he seemed like a lady's man anyways. Not really your type no matter how handsome and muscular he is.

- Steve, by the way, nice to meet you.

-(Y/n), likewise. - you shook his hand.

When the pizzas arrived you called them to the kitchen, listening to all their shared stories from their early years. They seemed like really close friends, and genuinely good people. You had a really great time. It was nearly 9 pm when Steve left, for saving a dame from dying cause of boredom he said. You and Bucky chuckled, then he let him out, closing the door, locking it for the night.

-I guess i have some packing to do, so.. good night (y/n).

-Good night Bucky, if you need anything just knock. - you said with a smile, and he couldn't help but smile back. He felt at peace. He had Steve, now he had a job, and a room to make a home of, and you as a new addition. You were so kind, so eager to help if he needed anything, he loved how the scent of raspberries and flowers lingered in the apartment mixed with coffee and cigarette smoke. It seemed to have a calming effect on him.

You heard a soft knock half an hour later. WHen you opened the door you saw a smiling Bucky, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

- Hey, um.. sorry. I forgot i didn't bring a blanket, could i borrow one until i get my own?

-Yea sure, i'll get one in a min. - You said, leaving the door open, letting him see a bit of "you" while you were searching for your spare blanket in your wardrobe. The room really was you. White, with mustardy curtains on the window, plants everywhere, books piled up here and there, a really comfy looking bed, pictures of you and your friends on the walls. And damn, your room smelled even more like you. If he wouldn't pay attention your scent would lure him into your room and never let him leave he thought.

-There you go. - you handed him the blanket smiling.

-Thank you very much.

Then he stood there for a moment drinking in the sight of you in front of him. You were wearing an oversized tshirt, that ended just around the middle of your thighs, hair in a messy bun, no makeup. He could swear he thought you were pretty before, but seeing you as you were made him fancy you even more.

With a small smile you told him goodnight again, then closed the door in his face.

You could hear his little laugh on the other side of the door, then his door closing. For the first time in months he didn't wake up in the middle of the night, and he didn't had a nightmare either. He was afraid he would, and then he would wake you up with his screaming, but looks like the blanket which smelled just like you calmed him enough.

After waking up because the rays of sunshine on his face, he smiled to himself guess i'll wait with getting my own blanket then...

[astaroth1357]

IT'S RAINING (DEMON) MEN!!!

I asked my sister for a prompt to get my creativity going. She played this song. Nuff said.

Intro:

It's been two months since the MC went back to the human world, and the demon boys are getting desperate to see their human… How desperate are we talking? Desperate enough to try their hands at some questionable sanctioned magic to get themselves to the human world... Good news is, they'll get there!

Just probably not in the way they expected. 🤷‍♀️🤭

Lucifer

He is going to KILL Mammon the next time he gets a hold of him…

He had no intention of taking an impromptu trip to the human world. He actually has clearance to go there when he needs to, thank you, so he didn't need to use any underhanded tricks to go between realms...

But he had made the mistake of walking too carelessly into Mammon's room while looking for a book he stole and stepped on a sigil half-obscured by an old pizza box…

...which is how he ended up falling from the Devildom to the human world at an unimaginable speed. It was like someone was yanking him to the Earth by the goddamn foot!

The unsuspecting MC was just out window shopping when suddenly an empty parked car across the street was utterly decimated by his falling body…

Of course, HE was fine, but that poor car never stood a chance… 😣 They had to help Lucifer pry himself out from the caved-in metal…

While he watched the MC fuss and try to brush all the broken glass off of him, Lucifer had only three things in mind:

(1) They look so cute when they're worried about him for practically no reason...

(2) Since he's already here, he may as well keep them company for… oh, a couple days at least?; and

(3) He was going to punish Mammon slightly less brutally than usual this time… May just fling him into a car too and leave it at that. 😌

Mammon

Okay, Mammon isn't stupid. He can do magic, he swears!!

He's just… rusty. Yeah. That. 🙄

That's the only reason the sigil that he haphazardly drew in his bedroom flung him to the human world like a catapult instead of neatly teleporting him like it was supposed to...

When the MC woke up that morning, they heard something familiar… Sad, pitiful little cries for help from outside their bedroom window….

Really only one person sprang right to their mind.

When they ran out to check, they indeed found Mammon tangled up in a tree like a wooden spider's web... He wasn't even facing upright!

It took them a half hour to detangle their poor demon from the tree… They almost gave up halfway through and had to call the fire department to pull him out like a trapped kitten... 🤦‍♀️

To say that Mammon was pretty clingy after they got him down hardly covers it. They were now his savior! (Yet again)

They had better not have any plans for the next day or two because he's going to want to spend every second he can with them… 

Or at least until Lucifer finds him and drags him back home by the back of the neck… 😰 (Hope they don't mind housing this figurative fugitive for a while…)

Leviathan

So in his defense, he didn't actually think the "Return to Lover" spell he saw on TSL would work, but he got so desperate to see MC again that he half-jokingly tried it one night...

Unfortunately for him, he also forgot that Simeon tends to use a lot of real-world influences in his writing, so… 😥

He hadn't wanted to be dragged to the human world quite so violently, and let's say he is NOT a graceful faller (arm flailing, girly screaming, spinning all over the place, etc.). 

Only when the smell of beach sand and sea salt hit his nose did he begin to calm down a little and get a good look at the surroundings he was hurtling towards… The ocean!

Video game logic dictates that if you land in water, you should be fine, right?? (Well, that's not how it works in real life, but when you're in a super sturdy demon body, there can be expectations 🤷‍♀️)

The MC was not expecting someone to splash down into the water next to them like they fell out of Heaven, nor for them to enter the water with the poise of an Olympic high diver…

They REALLY weren't expecting to see Levi surface beside them, demon form in the all it's sea serpent-y glory, totally stoked that the stupid thought he had actually brought him to them!

… Of course, he also has no idea how to get back, but who actually cares about that?? Lucifer will figure out he's not in his room eventually. For now, there wasn't anything in the ocean or beyond that could separate the MC from their adorkable otaku… 🤭

Satan

Okay. Teleportation magic is hard. Very, very hard. It basically requires bypassing several different physical laws by breaking down one's essence into a transmigrational-uh...

Whatever, the point is it's difficult, and mistakes happen even to the best of us.

Satan genuinely thought he triple-checked the symbols on his sigil… He must have made a crooked stroke or forgot a step in completing the seal properly… Either way, the spell he intended to bring him right to MC might have made a… slight miscalculation.

Rather than effortlessly stepping out beside them, he found himself hurtling towards the human world like a falling comet… If he hadn't known a few spells that could slow down his fall, he'd have had a pretty nasty meet with the ground... 😣

The MC was visiting a local park when pretty much everyone in their vicinity heard the sound of trees rapidly snapping nearby. At first, they were concerned it was a large animal… and then Satan stumbled out covered in twigs and leaves!

They, of course, ran over to see if he was alright, and the cheeky bastard just denied that anything had gone wrong. "Apparently," this was all according to plan… 

(Truthfully, he'd rather call Mammon some unsung genius than admit that he got the spell wrong, even if it was complex… 🙄)

Truthfully, Satan wasn't going to try making a return sigil for a while, so at least he and MC could be together for a time! Do they know if there were any cat cafes nearby??

Asmodeus

Asmo was PISSED at Solomon, furious even because he wouldn't help him sneak away to go see his beloved human! Didn't he know how hard the distance was on him?? The nerve!!! 😤

So, to him, it only seemed fair to steal some of the sorcerer's tomes and equipment… If he wouldn't help him in person, he could at least (unknowingly) do so in spirit!

… He just wasn't expecting the spells to be that difficult. Asmo is decent enough at magic, but some of those explanations were honestly beyond him… They bordered well into Satan or even Lucifer territory...

He tried his best, he really did, but the gentle teleportation that he was after actually flung him to the human world like he had been shot out of a cannon…! And while it was raining in the human world too!! 😫

The MC was walking home in the rain, umbrella and everything, when they heard screaming from the sky...

Thankfully, Asmo remembered just enough magic to cushion his fall… But that didn't save him from landing right into a massive puddle right next to the MC, effectively soaking them both.

On any other day, he'd have been angry that his expensive clothes were covered in rainwater, but that day? The second he saw the MC was there (and also tastefully soaked in water 😏), he just flung himself at them with a squeal of delight!

The MC had to convince him to let them get inside before they got too cold, but every step of the way was full of laughter and cuddles between the two of them...

Asmo would have to call Solomon to fess up to his theft, but hey, he got to see MC out of it! The bruised tailbone and ruined clothes were more than worth a treat like that.

Beelzebub

Beel genuinely wasn't intending to go to the human world; he really wasn't. He hated the distance like everyone else, but he knew better than to mess with magic that dangerous…

What happened was that he was walking by Satan's room one day and he smelt something inside… apples. A lot of them. He just couldn't help himself…

He didn't know that Satan was using those apples as test subjects for his teleportation magic… Unfortunately, the first fruit that he grabbed actually put him right smack dab in the middle of an incomplete sigil…

Beel kind of blacked out for whatever happened during the next part, it happened really fast, but it was the smell of more apples that woke him back up… and pears, peaches, pineapples, plums-

It's a farmer's market. Beel fell into the apple stand of a farmer's market….

The MC was out shopping there when they heard two things: the screams of shock and horror from the end of the market and a familiar voice shouting, "I'M HUNGRY!!!"

Of course they ran towards the screaming, defying all survival instincts (because who else are we talking about here?) and found Beel, mid-rampage, eating every scrap of food he could get his hands on…

But he actually stopped when he heard them shout his name. That's right, he stopped eating right then and there to turn and see them in the crowd... Oh, the smile that popped up on his face could have reignited a sun!

Beel had no idea how he got there and even less idea of getting back, so the MC had to eventually call Lucifer. They did get to spend the day with their gentle giant, though! (Just don't mention the massive bill for all the fruit he ate… 😣)

Belphegor

So here's the story. Belphie was sleeping in the library, as he sometimes does, and the next thing he knew, he was free-falling through the sky.

No, he didn't know what happened either. Maybe he rolled onto a stray sigil Satan left behind. Perhaps he was accidentally summoned to the human world. Mayhaps he even dreamed about MC so hard that it broke a rift in space-time to try and bring the two together... 

Who the hell knows? His more pressing concern was less how he got up there and more where he would end up.

Unfortunately for him, all he could see below him was a human residential area, and even worse yet, it looked like he was hurtling towards someone's roof… The MC's roof, to be exact!

MC was incredibly lucky to have already been up and starting their morning routine when the seventh-born came crashing onto their bed. Who knows how much damage he could have done if he had landed on them...??

That didn't change their shock to see Belphie, covered in plaster and wood fragments, sitting himself up while looking more annoyed to have been woken up than that he… you know... crashed through their roof...

He was grateful to have popped up close to them because it would have been pretty awkward to land in some random human's room. The MC was… less enthused that they now had some significant repairs to do.

Smooth-talker he is, Belphie not only managed to convince them that Lucifer would take care of the payment (which he would) but also not to call him just yet. Not until he could get himself cleaned off and maybe have a nap or two… Say, they weren't going anywhere today, right? Good. 😏

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