#she was treating a resident of mine like a fucking dog giving them commands

[quotemenevervore]

Yo unfriendly reminder to treat people who do not communicate the way you do due to a disease or disability like fucking humans

If you treat them like animals or children I’m legally and morally obligated to dropkick you to the fucking sun

Thank you

[a-magpie-witchling]

1/2 Hey there!! So I had something very weird happen last night. I couldn't sleep so I was up until 3pm, which always scares me because it's That Time of the night. My cat had decided he wanted to go out, which made me feel very nervous. I hate doing anything outside of my bed at this hour. But he wouldn't stop meowing, and I couldn't let him wake everyone up, so I let him out. However when I opened the slide door, I got a very weird feeling. We have a green belt behind our house.

Alright, sorry I took so long to answer this, but I wanted to ask around some opinions and answer properly. If anyone’s interested, Yeyé put her two cents in this.

First things first, make sure you’re not dealing with an ACTUAL, PHYSICAL ANIMAL.

If you live in a forest-y region it could be an actual bear, a street dog, a wolf, a cougar, a lynx, depends of where you live. Near my “new” house we heard heavy footfalls the other day and there was a FREAKING HORSE in the green belt like wtf where did that come from it’s a rather urbanized area.

If you’re sure you don’t need to call animal control, then we can proceed onto the spiritual realm.

Honey, and this goes to everyone: don’t you ever, EVER, be afraid of a spirit.

Of no kind. Animals, ghosts, angels, demons, gods? They’re all weaker than you. You’re corporeal. They’re not. They literally will never be stronger than you. 

Be kind, respectful, and mindful, because one day you’ll die and they could fuck you up then if you were a little bitch haha but otherwise, while you’re made of flesh and bone, a spooky spirit is like a person holding a knife and you, my corporeal friend, HAVE AN AK-47 IN YOUR HANDS.

All you need to learn is to aim their way.

Very quickly I’ll explain how I categorize spirits. A spirit can exhibit more traits than of their category, but they’ll always belong to a single one of these:

Wyld: chaotic spirits. Naturae, elementals, animal spirits, vortex spirits, mostly all of them are in this category. There’s no “method” to their behavior, they just are there, and move basically on instinct. Most times they aren’t intelligent enough to communicate verbally or directly, so you have to learn their language. I recently taught a baby witch how to tame a spirit that was haunting their house since they inherited a possessed relic. This is the easiest kind of spirit to tame, but the hardest to banish, and almost impossible to bind.

Weaver: spirits of order. These suckers love messing with tech, and the easiest way to identify them is because they’ll turn stuff on and off, will make lights flicker, etc. They mostly roam the cities, and here is where you can find most human ghosts, clinging to the places they knew when they were alive. These spirits are easy to bind, and moderately hard to tame or banish. This is mostly the kind of spirit that talks in ways we can understand (another tell sign of them) and also the kind of spirit that will usually store knowledge and share it with us.

Wyrm: spirits of destruction. This is the scary kind of spirit, because most of the negative emotion epiflinos fall in this category. Spirits of hate, fear, revenge, sadness, death, they’re all Wyrm spirits. When ghosts are filled with a destructive madness, this is the category they belong to. They can hardly be reasoned with, and given their power to wreck things, they’re considered the most “powerful” kind. Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t true. Their influence is just easier to see. Wyrm spirits are quite misunderstood. While there are some very notorious entities in this category, this is also where spirits of rebirth and transformation are found. After all, nothing can be truly destroyed. This kind is the hardest to tame, but it IS possible, and they make some of the most powerful, fearsome allies. However, people prefer to just kick them out and have nothing more to do with them.

I believe that, as witches, we should be more responsible regarding exorcism and banishing practices. If you encounter a wandering spirit that decides to take residence in your home, think about it as encountering a feral animal that’s most of the time very confused. You could kick them out but they’ll surely go pester someone else. I think the most responsible thing to do is to bind them if they can’t be reasoned with, or simply tame them and befriend them. Teach them what’s right or wrong, so they become well behaved and don’t hurt anyone by accident.

Regarding your issue specifically (sorry about the rant, but I wanted you to understand what I meant when I said this): we think you encountered a migrating Wyrm spirit.

If you don’t actually feel them in your house, but you think they passed through, peeped to look around, and then went on their merry way, then this was most likely the case.

Yeyé (my crone grandma) said: Sometimes entities have migratory routes, they go from place to place, and this process can happen every day or once every centuries. They’re simply passing.

If you feel the spirit lingered, don’t worry. You can banish them (although I don’t recommend it because they will go and bother someone that doesn’t know how to deal with them), bind them, or tame them.

Wyrm spirits of fear tend to cause this: fear. They feed on it. It’s scary to deal with them, of course, but if you learn to control your fear and feed them just a little so they don’t starve, they are really nice guardians.

Example: I taught a witch how to tame a fear epiflino, and in exchange for the spirit to look after her house, she would watch a scary movie every week so the spirit was well fed.

Trust me, these are entities that you want on your side.

I think that’s one of the reasons why people fear spirit controlling witches so much, because we can deal in friendly ways with literal incarnations of death and despair, and treat them as friends or pets.

Back to your specific case. Keep an eye out. If the spirit just passed, then that’s that. If it decided to nest in your house, DON’T MAKE YOURSELF A BUFFET. Keep your cool, try and find out what kind of spirit you’re dealing with, tame them if you can, bind them if you can’t, banish them if it’s too much. If you’re scared this could be a demonic entity (a strong Wyrm spirit) and you fear they could harm you, write me directly. I’ve taken care of more than a few of those (I’ve performed or helped with almost a hundred exorcisms to this date, most of them were Wyrm spirits, I know they can be a pain and hard to control). 

Above all

DO. NOT. FUCKING. PANIC.

You are in control, you’re stronger. Remember, they’ve got a pocket knife, you’ve got a gun. They don’t stand a chance. Freaking Lucifer could come over and a bit of holy water will send him hissing with his tail between his legs, pfft. There’s not a spirit that can’t be dealt with. You just have to keep your cool, be critical, be firm, and don’t let them have more power than they actually have.

I’ll never forget that one time a friend of mine, Mathias, tamed a Weaver spirit. Literally you entered the house and lights would flicker, the tvs would turn themselves on and off, the cellphones would go crazy, I mean it was full poltergeist there. And the guy would literally scream his lungs out HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY FUCKING STOP IT. And not a peep. You just have to understand that having a haunted house is like living with a pet. They will of course roam around and play and do stuff, but they won’t harm a fly if you teach them manners. You just have to be firm.

The very first step to control a spirit is giving them a name.

You know the whole “a demon’s name gives it power” thing? It’s not entirely wrong. (It’s not their name that gives them power, it is your fear and reverence)

I don’t wanna go too deep into semiotics, but to make it simple: a name is a limit, a lot like casting a circle. It divides all that you are from everything that you’re not.

You don’t have to find out a spirit’s name, because sometimes they don’t have it, and sometimes it’s just downright impossible. So give them a name, or a nickname. It’ll give you a lot of control. Not as powerful as their original name if they have it, but strong as balls regardless.

Develop commands, signals, communication.

And do NOT be afraid of them. You’re stronger than they could ever be.

If anyone is having issues with entities, don’t hesitate to write to me. My advice on exorcisms and spirit-control is 100% free and that’s not going to change. I’ve got a shit ton of people that can tell you how we’ve fixed their problems (calling them testimonies sounds so shady…)

I don’t want anyone to get hurt, so just talk to me. We can exorcise, tie, or even better tame any kind of spirit. We can work it out. And the process is also fun as fuck, so that’s a plus :D