#she was such a (literal) life saver. especially in 2020 and 2021. she kept me company when i was at my worst.
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hmm.
#signing lease paperwork. thinking things.#god i want an animal. i seriously want an animal.#i also want to be magically given a house. that would be nice#we're officially allowed a cat in this lease and i really. really want one. i don't know. i know it's not a smart decision. i *know*.#but i just. feel so awful thinking about another year without an animal. it's just constantly on my mind#i got to go see jazzy last weekend and it was just. i miss her#she was such a (literal) life saver. especially in 2020 and 2021. she kept me company when i was at my worst.#she would stay with me day in day out when i was bed bound for weeks at a time.#i just. i need something like that again i think#it was so good with the kitten last year. she was so lovely and happy to cuddle#she'd crawl through my open window and curl up on my lap while i worked at my desk#and i so wanted to take her with us (she was. not being treated well).#i don't know. thinking about the future. thinking about everything.#just general low level despair. y'know. normal feelings lol#i should. look back into therapy maybe.#i started to earlier this year but it fell to the wayside a bit#also y'know. to talk about the agoraphobia i've got going on :/
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