#she was originally supposed to be a proud dragon shapeshifter

[qdkdraws]

Do not anger corrupted abomination of flesh and bone predator created through magical experiments.

[trashisstillhere]

Ah yes… the ocs I have from my second top interest other then Rc9gn… Mortal Kombat.

About time I’m getting to work on their little redesigns,,

Unfortunately I haven’t gotten to their outfits yet so for now, have their faces and names- (no nudity or nsfw here, nothing exposed shown no worries)

6 of them babyyyyy

They’re finally being shown to the world,,,,

I’ll tell just a bit info about each of them, not a lot but just enough. (Also their designs here are supposed be like in mk11)

,,,,

Xuesong Yang (Yang Xuesong) (He/him): a young human man who is mute due to an incident that happened with his little sister (he’s the older brother), Min back then when they were younger. Tries using sign language now cuz of it. He’s apart of Lin Kuei, has been in the clan with Min ever since being kids and even now in the new one as adults. Is more of a half cryomancer, his ice abilities a bit weaker(???)

Extra fact(s): none for now

,,,,,,,

Min Yang (Yang Min) (She/her): the little sister of Xuesong and another member of the Lin Kuei. After the incident in the past, some stuff happened that led to her taking interest in creating with robotic stuff and other things related to science, becoming both an assassin AND a ‘scientist’. Didn’t side with the cyber Lin Kuei tho, she didn’t like them, promising she would only use her own creations for ‘good’. Mixes them with her Lin Kuei fighting style nowadays.

Extra fact(s): Min has a little slightly unstable robot friend/pet she created back then called ‘F-C1’ (literally just ‘First creation’ for short lol) who also helps her in battles sometimes.

,,,,,

‘Hina’ (Hinata Tatsumi) (Tatsumi Hinata) (she/her): a woman who is a hybrid of human and dragon. the human dna part is a bit stronger, making her almost barely have that many much kind of attributes of an dragon.. but she makes it work! Is a part of the Shirai Ryu (yuh-), hasn’t been a member for THAT long but is proud to be a part of the clan. Her dragon dna half may not be as strong but she can still use a bit of fire breathing.

Extra fact(s): ‘Hina’ is just a nickname that is a short version of ‘Hinata’.

Hina is frenemies with Xuesong.

,,,,,

Pandora (she/her): a Edenian who is now currently stuck as the host of ‘the box of curses’. Thankfully she still has control over herself but now has to often tone down her strong emotions in order to not let the darkness from the cursed item take over her mind and use her as a dangerous weapon. The box reacts depending on her mood. If she’s feeling fine, the box acts more like a calm and friendly little pet. But if feeling VERY bad, BIG NO NO.

Extra fact(s): Pandora loves flowers of any kind, interested in making flower crowns too!

Pandora is a childhood friend of Rain’s. May or may not have a crush on him.. (oc x Canon suckersssss-)

Yes, she is inspired by Pandora’s box lol. But this one has a bit of a more dark twist to it..

,,,,,

Betson Brown (he/him): a undead/spirit sheriff, used to be in earthrealm but now roams around Outworld. He was a proud sheriff of an old western town back in his former realm….until his tragic death. Has body manipulation but more body horror wise, mostly using it with his own dead form. He still uses his old weapons like shotguns and such tho.

Extra fact(s): Betson is currently having a little rivalry with Erron Black, the Sheriff hates his guts. Hehehe,,

Betson actually used to be a VERY old oc of mine that I just decided to bring back one day and now he is a mk oc…

,,,,,

‘Karma’ (she/he/they): an unknown being whose most origins are unknown. Is she some kind of a demon? A lower shapeshifter of some kind? Nobody knows! But what is known is that they can make potions of any kind such as poison, healing, strength, etc. how does he test them? On themselves! Sometimes goes to earthrealm to get the ingredients needed, making them soon get interest in this realm.

(This gal’s still kinda a wip btw. They’re still VERY new.)

Extra fact(s): ‘Karma’ obviously isn’t their real name, just a fake name they started calling himself and now it’s stuck forever. He just looked at it one day and was like ‘that is so me’. (No seriously that’s literally how it went lmao-)

Karma used to be part of the black dragon back then.. but not anymore.

They have a rivalry with Kung Lao but it’s more friendly, believe it or not. They’re more like frenemies who bickers and spars a lot but actually really enjoy each other’s company. Plus Karma’s arrogance is similar to the guy’s.

,,,,

And that’s about enough information you’ll know about them now!

Oh god, the fear of judgment is kicking in-

[ktheist]

story time: wartime child

warning: spoilers ahead.

this is where i rant, cry and scream about my fics. not all fics have a story time though! the ones that do just kind of have a special place in my heart ♥️

ok. where to start?

i.

i think the how i get inspiration for wartime child should be a good start.

i don’t really remember though. all i know was i read @softlyjiminie’s to hold a dragon’s heart. the part where she highlights the forest made a big impact on me - esp being someone who needs to imagine the scenes as i read, i was easily transported into that fic’s world. (and of course fraener was influenced by taehyung’s shapeshifter character!)

so i wanted to write another universe. the idea of races being at war was already there since who knows how long and i already wrote an excerpt of it months ago - before i even thought of the main character being jungkook or the involvement of a certain magical baby. but the concept was much darker and made it hard to me to continue writing. initially, the oc was supposed to be queen of the underworld who got tired of hiding and decided to rule the humans. then war breaks out - that’s as far as i got.

but felt like i needed to do extra research about races and their abilities. and of course ya girl was too lazy to research so i scraped the dark themes of war - not that the current wartime child is light but it’s lighter than i originally had in mind. couldn’t have been all fluff since someone actually died lmao

so i got started again on the idea after reading THADH. it just started coming to me yk - who’ll it be about? jk because he’s easiest to write. is there a twist? a magical baby! and ideas kept pouring from there on.

and i’m so glad i took my time with the fic - didn’t rush it, slept on some scenes and woke up with a better version or addition. i suppose it wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for quarantine and that gave all the time in the world.

but i hope everyone stays safe and that this pandemic ends soon. there are people out there who can’t afford to miss their jobs and have bills to pay. i hope the government does its job and help the people and let go of whatever political, financial interest they have. and to my readers specifically, i hope they’re holding on and staying safe and healthy.

ii.

i think i’m particularly proud of myself for holding back mary sue-ing the oc. i’m so glad i made her human and stuck with that until the end.

her character is a personal landmark for me - she’s the first character i wrote that isn’t emotionally detached in order to make an oc look “strong”. in a way, that kind of thinking (being emotionally distant to be a strong person) is toxic.

i don’t know if it is for others but i can only speak from my experience. i’d been that girl that thought crying was a part of being weak and not showing emotions means you’re strong - i was wrong sue me lmao

but yeah, i have a soft spot for the oc because she’s finally the “evolved” version of my mindset.

i think more often than not, we tend to associate the words “strong women” with physical strength or having a sort of control over people. while it is part of strength, it’s not the only definition of a strong woman. i’ve always held onto to the concept that the root of empowerment isn’t breaking the stereotype but it’s being able to choose to do whatever the fuck you want - stereotype or not. you want to go to work, have a successful career life? go for it. you want to get married, stay at home and take care of your kids? yas queen. you wanna find your own path and skip college? inspiring.

so to me, the oc was strong in her own way. she had decided to keep her kid and live for the two of them - ofc it was dumb of her not to ask for monetary aid from the baby daddy but her pride is part of her flaw and i love it. she was prideful in the beginning and didn’t want to depend on anyone. but what’s empowering for me is she took a brave step to reach out for jk for the best of her child’s interest. and when she found out he wasn’t coming back after jumping into the portal head first, she stayed strong for jun and raised him by herself - ofc she had help from taehyung and taeyeon but friends can only help so much. at the end of the day it’s just her and her kid. it’s just - her choice to be the mother to her kid is so powerful to me.

but i guess i mary sue-d jun a bit. but then again, you don’t always get a magical genius kid and struggle to raise em because they’re not how you raise normal kids lmao

iii.

god i hate kids.

but there are some that are sweet and pure and we just don’t deserve them yk? those are the kids i absolutely am soft for. and whew the baby fever - i saw too many baby videos on my timeline on twitter so you get jun!

i don’t want kids mainly bc they’re assholes but i’m horrified if i had one, i end up raising them as an asshole.

that’s when jun was born - the manifestation of the kid i never had and how i’d raise him. but irl isn’t that easy, you might slip up and end up raising a mini you-asshole. and ik for a fact that a neutral evil (me) is somewhat an asshole.

at first, i thought of just giving him a minor role here and there but i’m a winger and don’t outline my fics so he ends up probably with more screen time than jungkook.

call it fanfiction but koo’s baby edition lmao

iv.

the real mvp?

definitely the manga/manhwa(s) i read prior to writing wartime child. they’re another form of universe that sucked me in completely.

i have them to thank because i think my narration got way smoother. i used to struggle with that - i couldn’t convey my character’s emotions properly to the readers and i think that’s what makes a big difference in whether a fic becomes liked more or less.

but then again, the likes may very well depend on tumblr’s algorithm. so at the end of the day, i think got lucky with the amount of notes.

v.

none the less, the support i got was beyond my imagination. mainly because it was all fluff and angst and lacked sexual content.

not that i’m saying a fic needs to have smut in order to attract more readers but i think we should acknowledge that the ones with sexual content gets better audience and that’s amazing too. shout out to all the writers who are able to write amazing sex scenes - that shit ain’t easy 🙌

i wish i could thank every single one of my readers for reading and the potential ones who probably liked or reblogged as a “to-read-list”. and i don’t know if my sincerity reaches the ones i manage to thank. i’m not good with words and i want each respond to a feedback to be different and meaningful but i don’t know if i managed to do that. but i’m truly grateful for those who reblogged with a comment, it made my whole week.

and i remember kirbykook’s ask - i’m guilty for keeping it in my inbox for longer than i should. they’d asked about the future of the fic and what would happen after jun’s little sibling is born. it gave me a reason to revisit wartime child’s world and realize how much i enjoy writing that fic ♥️

x

so that’s all for story time! thank you for reading 💓

[dinosaurdragon]

Another OC interview meme: Vir’era Sabrae

Tagged by no one i stole it i am an interview gremlin

Tagging you, if you have time (yes, you)

[for the purposes of this meme, he’ll answer with total honesty. very little to no evasiveness, as though the interviewer and audience are already fully aware of who he is.]

What is your full name and its origins?  What about any nicknames?

My name is Vir’era Hanal’ghilan Sabrae. I’m often called Vee by my non-Dalish friends, and Varric calls me Mittens. All the parts of my name are Elvish in origin. Sabrae is the name of my clan. ‘Vir’era’ is Elvish for ‘the way of the story,’ which might indicate... the things I know. At the last Arlathvhen, I was given the name Hanal’ghilan, because I can shapeshift into a golden halla.

Have you any claims to fame?

Yes and no. Few would remember my name of their own accord, and this has been intentional on my part. But I am a veteran of the Fifth Blight and a Champion of Redcliffe; the people in that city remember me. I spent much time in Kirkwall, but kept my head low for most of it. Other Dalish clans know me as Hanal’ghilan now, since the last Arlathvhen.

More recently, I have been named the Dalish Liaison to the Inquisition. Officially, my role is to help mediate between the Inquisition and the Dalish, acting as an advisor to the Herald, as well as ensure the fair treatment of any elves who join our cause. Unofficially, I’m sharing my now-scant knowledge of events to come.

How would you introduce yourself? If you are famous in your world, how would you introduce yourself to someone who had never heard of you?

I’d introduce myself as Keeper Vir’era of Clan Sabrae or as Vir’era Sabrae, Dalish Liaison to the Inquisition, depending on who I’m speaking to. For some events or people, I might add other titles or information. Most commonly, I might bring up that I am a former Grey Warden.

Which of your culture’s achievements do you hold in highest regard?

It’s difficult to say. Elvish culture has been destroyed and rebuilt so many times now--I suppose I am most proud of the Dales. Yes, our time there did not last, and we were eventually driven from it--but we managed to rebuild so much before we were forced to run. We have never forgotten.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I--I don’t know. I think I once wanted to be a writer, but I can’t remember anything of my childhood except vague impressions and strange trivia. What even is a pikachu? I’ve never seen one, but I know exactly what it would look like...

What was your most prized possession as a child? Do you still have it?

No, I don’t. It was a stuffed dinosaur, a creature from long before humans or dwarves or even elves. I lost it when I lost everything else about my past. How I still remember what it was... I don’t know. Perhaps I never will.

What would you change about yourself, if you could?

I don’t know. Hah, or perhaps that’s just it. There’s so much I don’t know or remember about myself. More than half my life is just... a mystery. I’d like to know it again. I’d like to know where I’m from, before I came here.

What are you obsessed with?

I don’t know that I have a true obsession. The closest I have is to ensure Thedas is on the right track, that all goes well. Does that count? I have shaped my entire life--and, now, my clan’s life--around this idea.

What is your greatest achievement so far, or the high point of your career?

Probably not dying during the Battle of Denerim. Maybe being appointed Dalish Liaison. It’s much easier, being here officially. I don’t have to explain myself or make excuses.

When/where were you happiest?

I... don’t know. Even the times when I was at my happiest, there was always something lurking. The closest would be... Kirkwall, I think. 9:36. Before everything went to shit. That or Vigil’s Keep, after dealing with the Architect, but before Anders left. 9:31. When I still had Nathaniel.

If all goes well... by the end of 9:42, I will have nothing new to contribute. Maybe, by then, I’ll have made peace enough with the world to be happy. Maybe I’ll be dead.

And the lowest point in your life thus far?

9:31 Dragon. I asked Merrill to show me her eluvian. I tried to go home. I did everything I could think of, but it was broken. I think some part of me believed that simply touching it would be enough. That it’d send me back.

It didn’t. I cried so much that I passed out.

What was the best decision you ever made?

Bringing Mia’s letter to Cullen in 9:31. He’s such a better person for it, for being in contact with her.

If you have any body modifications, which was most painful, or which do you regret the most? If you haven’t got any, do you have any planned, or would you ever consider getting any?

I have the vallaslin traditional of the Dalish as well as a number of scars that were not intentional. I don’t regret the vallaslin at all, and since it was the only one I intended to have, it is by default the most painful of those. I have no plans at the moment for other tattooing or piercings.

What is the most idiotic thing you have ever done while intoxicated?

I don’t tend to get beyond tipsy, but Varric insists that there was a night at the Hanged Man when I attempted to sing something unrecognizable as music.

What is your favorite joke?

I don’t particularly have a favorite joke, but I love puns. Especially cat puns.

What is the coolest/most impressive thing you own?

My staves. I own very little--not including the Keeper’s things which I inherited when I took on the role, I could fit all I own into a single bag. But the most impressive pieces are my staves. Both are entirely unique, and neither are anything like what you would see elsewhere. Maleficent was commissioned for me by the King and Queen of Ferelden; she’s named for the dragon at the top. Littlefoot was made for me by Master Ilen when I became Keeper, and is named after my dear departed mabari, whose skull has been affixed to the top, so that he will be with me always.

When did you last cry, and why?

I’m not sure. I cry often enough that it’s hardly a notable occasion anymore, but not so often as to say ‘oh, just this morning!’ Maybe I’m due for another good cry.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever had?

‘You can only be one person. Choose wisely.’ I’m not sure if it was really intended as advice, but it felt like advice at the time. Flemeth said those words to me ten years ago. I don’t often think of them, but they’re no less impressed upon me.

Similarly, what’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

It’s hard to say. I’ve been lucky; many people have done nice things for me. Some were more expensive than others, but the one I appreciate most... Hm. Not including those favors I specifically asked for, the thing that has felt the best to me... the Hawkes took me in. I think in part it was because they were taking Anders in, too, and they wouldn’t just take only one of us--but either way, they took me in. They didn’t need to. Anders and I--we weren’t doing well in Darktown, but we were living. We were safe enough.

I’ll never be able to repay them for that.

Have you any vices?

Is it arrogant to say no? I don’t gamble, I don’t drink to excess, I don’t sleep around, I only fight when I must... Perhaps arrogance is my vice.

Do you regret anything?

Many things. I wouldn’t change most, because I think I would regret the alternative more--but that does not mean that I do not regret the decision any less.

What is the best invention ever?

Ever? Hm. Toilets. They’re very basic in some ways, I know, but until you have lived without one, you simply don’t know what you’re missing. I lived in a sewer for about four years, and now I live a nomadic lifestyle. I know very well what I’m talking about.

How would you describe your relationship with your family?

I don’t have blood relatives. They’re gone with my memories. But I have surrogates. Clan Sabrae is my family, and though I can’t say I get along amazingly well with all its members (Hahren Linara, in particular, is critical of many of my choices), I care very deeply for them, and I always do what I can to keep them healthy and safe. They know this, and while some will argue with me about the best way to go about it, we’re always able to find a solution, and they do trust me. I hope I do not fail them.

I consider my friends from Kirkwall to be much like extended family--especially the Hawkes. They took me in, after all. I’ve kept in touch with Leandra.

Who is your biggest inspiration?

I don’t have just one, especially not one who encompasses enough things to be my biggest inspiration. But the closest we can get, for the sake of this question... Merrill. She knows what she wants to do, and she sticks to it--she stands up for herself without being rude or arrogant, and she’s always ready to help a friend. All of that, and she’s still one of the most fearsome mages I know. I don’t express it enough, but I am in awe of her. I hope she’s well.

What are you going to do when you’ve finished this interview?

Check back with Josephine, probably. She’s the one who set this up.

[matazz]

entries

diary entries of roy endoza

here’s some journal entries of roy endoza that i wrote for the duration of the campaign. for the most part, i kinda wrote these in my twitter drafts just to write down roy’s thoughts. sometimes to remember events that happened, and sometimes just to vent out roy’s feelings to myself. i ended up saving these on a document for safe keeping and i’m glad i wrote these.

‪entry 47‬

‪i miss milo so much. his laugh, his eyes, his smile. i would do anything to have that back.‬ ‪i know its my fault he’s gone. its only been a few months, but i’ll fix that; all of it. no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. i’ll find some way to do it.‬ ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪i told ayce the biggest con in all of history.. but i confirmed he’s undead. i have more hope in my goals now that i know its possible. he hugged me bc he thinks we’re similar. i dont usually allow people to do that but i’m sad for him. i wish i could ask more about him. ‬‪entry 69‬ ‪i’m getting closer to ayce, unexpectedly, but good for me. i need his information.‬ ‪he talks to me a lot about his life; i think he’s become dependent on me which is easy for me. its hard for him to see i’m using him when i lie to his face.‬ ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back.

i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ((scribbled out)) ‪i havent had sex in a while. i’ve wondered this before but realized it was an inappropriate question to ask. i wonder if ayce’s dick works? it probably doesnt. this is so sad. i dont know how i’m going to fuck him if thats true.. yikes‬ ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ((lost)) ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪good evening. i saw ms winters. she was undead, just like ayce. she died a year ago. her soul was lost though. i killed what remained of her undead corpse. i assume she was trying to remain in this world.. i’m scared that this will happen to him too. maybe ill have to do the same to him. entry 101.2 i hope ayce's soul is able to sustain in his body for longer. i cant afford to lose him. entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. i assume its bc the gods know what i'm doing & are against it, so they're trying to give me more recoil than usual. but the last time i killed an undead corpse was in my house 6 months ago, and i promise that the last time i will use it is when i bring milo back. (torn note inbetween the pages: hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void

of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over.c (the rest of the pages with entry 102 are torn out) when i saw milo in the old house again just being his happy lovely self i felt miserable and happy at the same time. i love him so much, and i knew i missed him already but seeing him again just made me feel so much love for him all over again. it just makes me miss him more. it's hard not to cry thinking about what i've done to him. i wish he could come back. ayce's was hard to watch. i witnessed myrkul force ayce to choose between killing me and quri. ayce cried as he couldn't make up his mind, and then i watched as i fell into a void. i felt sick and i wanted to puke. i thought ayce found out about me. i thought he knew that i was using him for necromancy, but when i asked him about it, he told me that he thought i killed him with quri. i... personally don't have any reason to ever kill him so that was a bit sickening to think of. i dont ever want to kill anyone. i dont even have anyone i hate enough to want to murder. the only person i hate enough to want to kill is me. i know based on what i said before i guess it might have seemed that bad; but haha... i would never ever want to do that. putting people down at hospital was rough. god, putting ms winters down was rough and she was already dead. i love him, but it's probably better if we end the relationship and just stay as friends? he's already witnessed me still loving milo, and he thinks i murdered him... i'll try to clear up his misunderstanding, but it'll be hard to without giving more of myself away. this relationship has so many problems. entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 i’ve done so much in preperation of whats to come. Soon. i hope it works. i’m going to travel to solardome and investigate those readings. entry 124 suspicions

confirmed. miss winters is alive. she captured my biological father. a strange way to meet him. i cant see him as my father. i told her about the key, and we’re going to rearrange our circle. we’ll still use the spirit stones, just as a backup. i’m scared. i’m terrified. i dont know if it will work and i dont know what will happen if it does. i know the gods will be mad but i’ll deal with the consequences when it happens. i’m sure i won’t be a champion anymore. we’re doing this on friday evening, which means i’m no longer attending the gala. they don’t need my assistance anyway.

[torn-by-dreams]

Rules: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (the fuck you say?)

Tagged by @monsterbrush 

1. coke or pepsi: Eeeeeeeh. 2. disney or dreamworks: Dreamworks. I continue to watch Disney movies because they have the entire world by the ballsack, but Dreamworks continues to be the more innovative studio. Also, Rise of the Guardians? How to Train Your Dragon??? 3. coffee or tea: Coffee. 4. books or movies: Movies. As much as I advocate for reading, my dyslexia keeps me from enjoying it. 5. windows or mac: Windows, but only because I’ve never used Mac. 6. dc or marvel: Marvel. 7. x-box or playstation: Playstation. 8. dragon age or mass effect: No experience with either game, but I’m inclined to say Dragon Age for obvious reasons. 9. night owl or early riser: Night Owl. 10. cards or chess: Cards... AGAINST HUMANITY 11. chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla. I can only eat chocolate in certain forms. 12. vans or converse: Neither, because neither are dirt cheap. 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: Who? 14. fluff or angst: Angst. 15. beach or forest: BEACH. I BURN LIKE TISSUE PAPER BUT FUCK IT. 16. dogs or cats: Dogs she said, while owning two cats. 17. clear skies or rain: Rain. 18. cooking or eating out: Eating out ;D 19. spicy food or mild food: I like spicey food a lot more now that I’m older, but I still prefer mild. 20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: HALLOWEEN BITCH 21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Cold. It matches the climate of my shriveled heart. 22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: Shapeshifting. 23. animation or live action: Animation! 24. paragon or renegade: Uuuh. 25. baths or showers: Either, depending on mood. 26. team cap or team ironman: The filling in the sandwich. 27. fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy. 28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: “Of course it’s happening in your head, Harry -why should that mean it isn’t real?” -Dumbledore | ��I am to misbehave.” -Malcolm Reynolds | “You know, I’ve always considered women to be people.” -George R.R. Martin 29. youtube or netflix: youtube 30. harry potter or percy jackson: Harry Potter. Percy Jackson did not interest me. 31. when you feel accomplished: When a friend whose accomplishments I really admire acknowledges my own. 32. star wars or star trek: Star Trek, and that one good scene from episode 2 involving the Deathsticks. 33. paperback books or hardback books: Hardcover. Paperbacks are for casual reading, but hardcovers just feel more... booky. Novelly. Tome-ish. 34. horror or rom-com: Neither. 35. tv shows or movies: Movies, unless the tv show is a netflix original series or something from Britian. American TV is dumber than a bag of hammers. 36. favorite animal: The tiger, the bearded vulture, the rat. 37. favorite genre of music: Electric/techno, anything with a great bass. 38. least favorite book: My highschool algebra course. 39. favourite season: Fall. The best food, the best colors, the best fashion, the best holiday, the best time to go to the beach in the south. 40. song that’s currently stuck in your head: None.  41. what kind of pyjama’s do you wear: Winter (current) -fleece. Summer - oversized t-shirt and underwear. 42. if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be?: How the fuck am I supposed to pick?? 43. If you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be: HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEE 44. Smiling or smirking?: An ambiguous smile that suggests I castrate men with cheese graters in my spare time. 45. Harry Potter movies or books: The books. The movies are excellent as a sort of seperate entity -a different telling of the story, because of course they couldn’t fit the entirty of 7 novels into some 2 hour films- and Daniel, Rupert and Emma will forever be Harry. Ron and Hermione in my mind, but the books have so much more to them. 46. Something you’re proud of: My ability to endlessly soldier on. 47. Dub or Subtitles?: Dub. I have to fidget, draw, do something when I’m watching, and I can’t be bothered to read subtitles.

48. Space or the ocean?: The ocean.

I’ll tag @transphysics