#she was always in there — no one gave you the oomph to go and find her

[marlenacantswim]

no one told me that having an ego would be this fun

[distraughtlesbian]

like ok. not to have a category 7 autism moment about the version of terri immortaldesires that lives in my head but i’m about to have exactly that

this all ties in soooo neatly w my thought that mc should’ve been a dhampir/half-vampire to begin with. idgaf if nothing in the id vampire lore implies that dhampirs are even a thing. TO ME mc’s unnamed dad was a vampire who had an illegal affair with mc’s mom (paralleling louis and esme or whatever their names are), and died defending her during the resulting coven bureaucratic bullshit (not crimson beech bureacratic bullshit, though—some other town on a ley line, like flagstone cove), leading terri to be like “lmfao fuck this noise”, peace the fuck out the same night of his death, and move to the Big City in the hopes of losing herself in the crowd. and because she’s so far away no vampire from her hometown is gonna risk weakening themselves or dying of sun poisoning to make that road trip just to kill some idiot dead fledgling’s girlfriend

anyway. terri is in her Big City era, going to med school, blah blah, throwing herself headfirst into pretending to be a normal young woman who is totally not grieving her murdered partner and the family and friends that she’s just up and disappeared on, and she discovers that she is pregnant. which is crazy. bc her only recent partner was literally undead and therefore, she reasoned at the time, infertile. and yet here the positive test is. so she’s like oh god oh fuck is this some kind of demon baby …… and then she has the mc and they are—on the surface, at least—a completely normal baby, but she just can’t shake the gut feeling that there is Something Wrong With Them, given the fact that they are a. well, a what? a half-vampire? if that’s even a thing. and who knows what vampiric traits they might have. and she’s pretty sure that her partner was the One Good Vampire and the rest of them are all monsters, just given that the only other ones she’s ever met murdered him without a second thought for the crime of loving her. but she can ignore all that if she tries. so she’s like ok. i can put all the vampire bullshit behind me and focus on my job and providing for my kid. this will totally work and i am not going to psychologically damage my only child by holding them at arms’ length their entire life bc i’m always at least a little bit afraid that their very existence is a herald of the vampire apocalypse or some other insane shit. it would be just my luck. but like everything will be ok (manifesting)

↑ terri, c. 2003

and this ignoring-supernatural-bullshit strategy works! for the next 17 years, by god, it works! she gets her doctorate and her kid starts school and they have a decent house and she makes decent money and she never has to worry about anything at all. except, like, the looming possibility that her child really does have Something Wrong With Them. but on good days she can ignore that. and on bad days she holes up at the hospital so she doesn’t have to go home and look them in the eye. and on the worst days all she can think about is how they looks more like their father every day.

but like anyway everything is coming up terri (manifesting). it’s summer and her kid’s about to start their final year of high school. she likes her job and their house. she has friends at work. they’re fine! against all odds, everything is fine!

until, naturally, a string of mysterious, violent deaths starts up in the city, and her coworkers might chalk it up to animal attacks, but she knows damn well that no animal could possibly do to these people what’s been done to them. she sees the way the wind is blowing, and she’s evaded vampiric justice for goddamn near 20 years, and she’s not about to just roll over after all this time and effort and let them catch up to her. so she breaks the news of the sudden move and expedites the selling of their house and finds a new place in as boring and sleepy a town as she can possibly find. what could possibly happen in a small town in new england? nothing ever (manifesting).

the world if terri immortaldesires was somehow made aware of the existence of vampires prior to the beginning of book 1 and that’s why she packed up her entire life and fucked off to crimson beech. also the world if she became a vampire hunter immediately post-nexus trial shitshow

[vivid-dreamscapes]

Loosely based on a real thing that happened to me a few weeks ago

You sighed as you walked into the building for the hero license classes, bag slung over you’re shoulder, your hero costume and gear stuffed inside.

You had missed the hero license exam due to being sick day-of, but you didn’t mind taking the lessons. Apparently another girl—Camie is what Izuku had told you—was in a similar boat. She hadn’t actually been at the exam, but a villain dressed as her had. Point was, you both missed it and now you were going to the lessons.

As you walked in, you saw the familiar spiky blonde locks of your boyfriend Katsuki coming out of the guy’s changing room. When he noticed you, you gave him a small wave and he gave you an extremely subtle smirk before walking off. You rolled your eyes with a smile of you’re own before dipping into the girls locker rooms.

As you started to change, you’re heard a few other girls in the other room of the changing rooms giggling over something. At first you ignored it—probably boy talk or something—but then you heard your school’s name.

“Let’s find who all from UA is here!” One of the girls said in an obnoxiously high pitched voice, holding up her phone. On it were the list of people taking the lessons.

“Imagine—UA must be losing its touch if it had people coming here! Some ‘top hero school in Japan’!” Another one said, giggling as well. You heard them go through the names of your classmates—Katsuki, Todoroki—before they got to you. You already knew this could go two ways; really well or really badly.

“Ewww, that’s [Name]?” On of the other girls said, pointing at the phone screen. “I thought Shindo said she was hot.”

“She’s not even pretty.” The high pitched girl said with a snarky chuckle, her eyes glinting. “I mean…I knew she couldn’t be all that but I didn’t think she was ugly.”

That’s when you felt a pit in your stomach. You’d been told you weren’t pretty before. You’d been told you weren’t hot. But never, ever, had you been called ugly. And the feeling that coursed through your body was equally as ugly. You blinked a few times before slipping out, now in your costume.

You spent the entirety of the lessons that day trying not to burst into tears—though it was hard. Tears never fell from you’re eyes, but they had certainly welled up in them, blocking you’re vision, making you’re eyes red, being generally obvious something was wrong. You got looks through the class but no one said anything. You couldn’t blame them. Eventually, towards the end of the day, you had managed to numb your emotions.

It wasn’t until you were walking home that said numbness finally broke, and with it you broke into tears. First a few sniffles, then the waterworks. You walked home in the glowing orange light of the sunset, wiping your eyes and the tears off your skin.

You hadn’t even noticed the footsteps running up behind you until the person they belonged too practically barreled into your back. You let out an ‘oomph’ as strong arms wrapped around you, holding you close as the person buried their face into your hair.

”Fuckin’ dumbass.” The all too familiar voice of your boyfriend was heard, muffled from speaking into your hair. You turned around with a shocked sniffle, surprised. What was with the sudden, out of character hug attack?

“Katsuki?”

“I could see you holding back all day. We weren’t even learning anything that bad today, you shoulda went to the bathroom and had a good cry.” You looked at him and he lifted his head to look back up at you, resting his chin on your shoulder. His arm stayed wrapped around your lower torso, pulling you closer against his chest with a squeeze.

“Oh gods, you saw that?”

“It’s hard not to when you don’t even look in my direction for the whole few hours in there. You’re usually always glancin’ my way.”

“Well I didn’t want you to see me being all pathetic ‘n shit.”

He pulled back and stood straight up, his eyebrows knitting together in disturbed confusion. “Pathetic?” He repeated, a hint of disappointment in his tone. Disappointed you thought being vulnerable was weak. “I don’t know why you were upset, but I guarantee it was for a valid reason—and that makes you anything but pathetic. It makes you human.”

You gave him a stiff smile and started walking again, now with the blonde walking next to you. After a few moment of silence, he asked; “Why were you so upset? I mean, you don’t need to tell me or anything, I just—I wanna know if I can help.”

After a long, quiet moment, you responded with a sigh. “I got called ugly today.” You mumbled, eyes glued to the sidewalk. His head whipped around to look at you but you continued just as he opened his mouth to speak. “I know, it’s a stupid reason to be upset. I mean, people get called ugly all the time. I just…” You held the strap of yours bag tighter, biting your bottom lip as the tears started to well up again. “I just ya know…finally started feeling pretty an’ stuff, an’…I mean….I just wish other people thought I was pretty too, ya know?”

You continued to mumbled, getting quieter as sobs threatened to spill from your lips. With a concerned expression, he pulled you close, hugging you again, this time from the front. You covered your hands as he leaned your head against his chest, once again letting yourself cry. “Whoever said that doesn’t know shit. You’re the goddamn prettiest person I know. And that’s saying something, I’ve seen the models my parents have over for shoots.”

“Yeah, but you’re biased.” You mumbled and he held you tighter, letting out a scoff. Not a sharp one though, more like a scoff of sadness.

“Me? Biased? Even if that were so, we both know I’m brutally honest. If you weren’t goddamn stunning, I wouldn’t tell you that you were.”

After a few more minutes of letting it all out, he stayed over at yours dorm to binge watch your current favorite show—no matter how much he hated it. He even—begrudgingly—stayed up past 8:30 to cuddle with you, giving you kisses here and then.

As you two stayed all snuggled up, you started to feel tired. Resting your head against his chest, you closed your eyes with a smile. “Thanks Katsuki.”

“For what?”

“…earlier.”

“…You’re welcome dumbass.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To any of you out there who’ve ever been told you’re ugly, not pretty, not attractive, not handsome, not cute, etc—don’t believe them.

On October 1st, four days ago, our population was counted to roughly 8,179,451,535 people. That means, one, or maybe two, or maybe four people called you ugly. Four out of 8,179,451,535 people.

And I guarantee, what one person hates, multiple people love. To one person you may not be attractive. But to another, you’re going to be the most attractive person they’ve ever seen, a sight for sore eyes. And the people who insulted you? They’re the real ugly ones. On the inside. And probably on the outside someday too.

You’re amazing. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise ❤️

[deepdreamnights]

Vidu and the Quest to Make More Toons

So, a ways back I talked about Minmax, but I've been trying out basically all the video generators looking for the tools I need, and low and behold this week I find out I've been accepted into the Vidu Artists program now, wherein I get credits and access to access their cooler features in in exchange for... talking about the tech and how I use it.

Well twist my arm. I shall endeavor to be objective and informative despite free stuff (a challenge my spirit needs practice withstanding if anyone else wishes to test me)

So let's talk Vidu.

(outside of being converted to gif, no animations in this post have been cut or edited)

Also, everyone say hi to Maureen the Lizard Queen, every hero needs an evil queen that really wants in his pteruges, and she's that for TyrannoMax.

Vidu's got a bit more oomph under the hood than MinMax (no shade to MinMax, they're brand new and very promising) and it's way too early to be picking winners when it comes to video.

Anyhow, basic features that are nice include the options to upload start and end frames, options for a 4 or 8 second duration (more about that later), and a cleanup/upscale. Credits line up more or less with seconds. 4 credits for a 4 second clip, 8 for an 8 second, and again at upscale. It's straightforward in a way a lot of services aren't.

Apetomic Pyle, done on the fast settings. (not to shabby still, and it gave him monkey legs which a lot of systems balk at)

If you're on the $30/mo tier, you can choose to do a double-cost "quality" over "speed" option. Thankfully, the artist program gets me access. Since there's not yet a seed option it's hard to do a direct comparison, but the quality is going to be a must if you're doing anything that looks like cel. Much cleaner, much smoother.

(4 and 8 second quality gens)

One of the nicest features is the character reference feature. Basically it's like Midjourney's --cref, but with a very strict adherence to character details.

The above images used reference shots of Maureen and Dr. Underfang, and it got the stripes on Underfang's tie right in basically every gen. That's a ridiculous level of character model adherence and, for my purposes, all but essential.

It did misinterpret Maureen's undertail coloration for a sort of fin or drape, but the shot I used was oddly cropped, and sometimes stuff like that happens with gen AI. Given my measuring stick for errors is the era of animation I'm emulating, whatever does slip through is only going to make it more authentic.

There is a limitation in that character-reference and text-only prompts default to 16:9 presently with no options to adjust, but some room to pan is always handy and most people are going to be outputting for phone and not outdated CRT televisions, so, it's understandable it'd be a lower priority feature for the devs.

Walk cycles! By Saint Eniac it's a miracle!

On the left we have one prompted with TyrannoMax's control art, and on the right we have one using that art as the starting frame (4 and 8 seconds, respectively).

Way More details under the fold.

Vidu likes a hefty prompt.

A lot of detail and evocative language helps, and older prompting tricks like mojo-jojoing important concepts are back. For the Max walk cycles above I used:

1986 vintage cel-shaded cartoon character walk cycle. The orange dinosaur-anthro wearing blue gladiator armor walks toward screen right, the camera tracks him, holding him in center-frame. He completes a full, brisk walk cycles from the side view. He walks boldly, back straight, head high, heroic. His tail sways behind him as he moves. The whole clip has the look and feel of vintage 1986 action adventure cel-animated cartoons. The animation quality is high, with flawless motion and anatomy. animated by Tokyo Movie Shinsha, studio Ghibli, don bluth. BluRay remaster. flat chroma-key green screen background

The potential for use with my Filmation-inspired technique is readily apparent. Both versions are on-model as much as any two shots in a 1980s action-figure shilling cartoon would be, some minor blurring to clean up in post but nothing serious. It should be pretty easy to extract the needed frames for looping and compositing.

Some Extra Points

There are the usual issues with hands, though more often than not it corrects my four-fingered anthros to having a human five-fingered hand. Buzby Spurlock animation was known for those kinds of inconsistencies, though. So an opening credits video is much less far off than it was at the last post.

It's also generally impressive how well it does with my dinosaur characters. Non-humanoid dinosaurs are difficult for most image generators, much less anthrosaurs in a vintage aesthetic. Vidu has yet to override the character art to give Underfang or Max the Jurassic Park style t-rex jaw, which is something both MJ and Dall-E 3 have trouble with.

Human characters like Kitty Concolor here, much more stable.

As always, clips are curated. I didn't choose my absolute best ones (gotta have something for the videos), and I'm working on a fun series of jank reels across all the generators.

[spacesapphi]

"Moving Forward, Spiraling Downward Chapter 10- Can We Start Over?"

LET'S GOOOOO FARMER CONTENT!! I've been so excited to bring them into the story. It's officially the start of year 1 in the story now, meaning quite a bit will be happening from here on. Buckle up!

CWs for this chapter are mentions of death and drinking

Summary: When the Spring rolls back in, talks of a new resident, a farmer, start spreading around town. Shane remembers them well, having grown up right alongside them when the two of them were kids. He doesn't know how he feels about seeing them again, worried that they'll see how different he is now and run away. But to his surprise, he isn't the only one who's changed.

AO3 Version Here

Tumblr Version Below the Cut:

Pelican Town, 199x - Summer

“You’re gonna get us in trouble again, Möhle!” Shane huffed in a whisper, trudging through the brush of the woods alongside his friend, “You know my aunt doesn’t like me going near the cliffs, she’s gonna catch us!”

“I just wanna show you somethin’ we’ll go back in a minute!” Möhle whispered back, moving methodically towards the cliffside, hopping over rocks and twigs. Always the adventurous child, they could never stay in one spot for too long, and always sought out what others told them to stay away from. They held onto Shane’s hand tight, guiding him through the overgrown bushes and vines of Cindersap as the preteens snuck away. They both knew they weren’t supposed to go beyond the river, many dangerous creatures, and the looming threat of the cliffside awaiting them on the other side. But Möhle was never one to listen to all the rules…. Most of the rules, really. 

The pair came into a clearing, finding just a few flower patches and the old abandoned house that had been rotting for years now. Möhle slipped in through a hole in the siding, motioning Shane to follow them inside. Shane stood his ground, letting his hand slip from theirs. They peeked out through the opening and gave him an odd look, their hazel eyes squinting behind their glasses, “Come on!”

Shane folded his arms, a disconcerted look on his face. He looked over to the ledge that sat mere yards away from them and shuddered, “I don’t wanna get in trouble…”

“You’re not gonna get in trouble , don’t be a baby,” Möhle huffed, “Now c’mere!”

Reluctantly, Shane stepped forward, squeezing through the same hole, wincing as a stray splinter dug through his jacket. He fell to the ground with an unceremonious *oomph*, taking a look around the tiny cottage. The kids in town had made it a secret clubhouse of sorts, all kinds of trinkets and the like inside, beanbags for them to sit on. Artwork they had made was pasted to the walls, alongside posters, maps, and strings of fairy lights. They knew their families would flip if they found out they were hanging out in an abandoned house, but the group found it to be some of the best fun. It was their little secret, their own little spot where no one could tell them what to do.

Möhle turned on a little electric lantern, setting it between the two of them. The light bounced off their face, making the lenses of their glasses shimmer, their asymmetrical mop of red hair framing round cheeks. They looked at Shane with a wide, toothy smile on their face, showing off the gaps where their teeth hadn’t yet grown back in. 

“Sooo…” Shane sat criss-cross, clasping his hands to his knees, “What did you want to show me? You made it sound important,”

“I just… I don’t have anything…” Möhle shrugged, sitting back with their palms on the ground. Their smile faded as the gears in their head began to turn, memories of the past month flashing by, “I just don’t wanna be home right now,”

“.... I know,” Shane whispered, knowing well why they were so upset. Their grandfather, the beloved town farmer, had passed merely a month ago. Möhle adored their grandpa. He was their idol, everything they wanted to be and more. Growing up around him gave them a deep love for nature and farming, and now, he was gone. They weren’t taking it well, and found themself using anything and everything as a distraction from it all. They didn’t want to be home, to see all the reminders of him. Tonight, the two of them sitting here, it was likely just another one of those distractions. 

“It just feels bad. Everyone’s sad and it’s weird that he’s not home…” Möhle explained, looking up at the hole-filled ceiling, staring at the stars peeking through the gaps, “I don’t like it,”

“I’m sorry…”

“Anyways…” Möhle was quick to change the subject, despising the awkwardness that had rolled in. They reached to their side, picking up a little item that’d been draped over with a blanket, “I do have something to give you, actually… Mama would’ve been upset if she saw me give it away,”

They got a skeptical look from their friend, Shane deeply confused by the action. It wasn’t any holiday or birthday, why were they giving him something? If anything, he should be giving them something, some sort of consolation gift for their loss. He slowly uncovered the item to find a pristine collectors gridball, signed in silver marker by one of his favorite players. He gripped it tight, a surprised look on his face, heart beating fast. Why were they giving him this? They loved that player too, always bragged about owning the ball, much to his chagrin. Something else was wrong, he knew it.

He sat the ball in his lap, looking at his friend intently, “You sure? I-I love it, but this is a lot, why are you givin’ it to me?”

“I won’t be here much longer,” Möhle stated plainly, folding their arms tight across their chest, “Mama got a job in the city… She doesn’t wanna run the farm…” they looked ready to cry, eyes welling up as they scrunched their face up. 

“What?... That’s not fair!” Shane scoffed, “Why not?” 

“I dunno… she just… doesn’t. And I have to go with her, so…”

“Maybe you could stay, you could have a room at our house,”

“Your aunt would say no, my mom too,” Möhle grumbled, “I gotta start packing soon… So I wanted to come out here ‘n give you this since… we won’t get to hang out or play gridball anymore …”

“We can still talk! We got a phone at home,”

“Yeah… I know…” Möhle mumbled, “But I’m just gonna miss everyone. You, Emily, Haley… I don’t wanna have new friends.”

“Even if you don’t live here anymore, we’ll always be friends, okay?” Shane assured.

“You mean it?”

“Yeah,” Shane smiled, holding out his pinkie, “I promise,”

Möhle finally smiled, wiping the tears off their cheek with their sleeve, returning the pinkie promise, “Okay then. Friends always,”

Pelican Town, Present Day- Spring

The bitterness of Winter eventually faded away, the first sprouts of springtime beginning to rear their heads. The air was warmer, the world was brighter. For most folks, Spring was a time for change, for something new to come from just around the corner. For Shane, it was a time of grief. He personally had grown to hate the Spring over the past few years, knowing exactly what was around the corner. The animals seemed to love it though, so that was one plus to all of this. Watching all of them run around this morning as he and Marnie tended to them, enjoying the newly warm breeze that wafted over the valley, it was the one good thing in all of this. 

He now resigned himself to sit in his room, the blinds drawn to let in as little light as possible. The teeniest rays poked through, illuminating tiny stripes across the floor. Shane lay back on his bed, bored out of his mind, doing short little tosses in the air with his collectors gridball. It had faded from age and the time it spent sitting in storage, the autograph slowly beginning to smudge over the years. He could barely remember where he got it from now, but he felt it was important. Whoever gave him such a nice gift surely had to be as well. 

He was jolted by a harsh banging at his door, Jas’ muffled voice coming from the other side, “Uncle Shane, guess what, guess what!” with a huff, he lifted himself from his bed, lumbering over to the door. He peeked his head out, looking down at his goddaughter with a tired smile.

“What’s going on, kiddo?”

“Someone new is movin’ in! Today!” Jas squealed, “Do you think they’ll have a kid me ‘n Vinny can play with?”

“Oh… Maybe, we’ll see!” Shane mused. He thought for a moment, coming to the realization that there weren’t really that many empty homes in town. The cottage by their house had recently been taken over by some artist, and the cabin on the beach had gotten a resident some time ago. Where would someone new even stay?

“Finally, you’re awake!” Marnie’s voice rang out. She stood in front of the stove, multiple pans placed in front of her as she cooked. An apron was tied around her waist, a wooden cooking spoon in her hand, “I have a favor I need from you today,”

“What is it?”

“I need you to take two chicks over to the Stofultz farm,” Marnie stated, “You’ll need to do it soon too,” 

The Stofultz farm? The farm that hadn’t been touched in years, left abandoned for the wilderness to overtake, to claim as its own? Shane raised a brow, “Aendi, Mr. Stofultz died years ago… You know that,”

“Yes, but the farm is being cared for again!” Marnie sounded excited, a sparkle in her eye, “You remember Möhle, right? Lewis just stopped by to tell me they’re back. Maybe once they’ve settled in we can start up that business deal again! They’ll certainly need the animals,”

Möhle. The mention of the name seemed to re-open a part of Shane’s memory that he’d long repressed. Emily had briefly mentioned their name in recent times, but with everything that had been happening, Shane was quick to forget. The images of an awkward red-head, the sound of their wild laugh, suddenly began to ring in his head. Memories of their little escapades began to rush back to him. He suddenly remembered where he had gotten the ball from as well. It had been so long… he never thought he’d see or think about them again.

Marnie motioned a hand in the air, “I’m getting ahead of myself. Just bring over two chicks, any of them. It’ll be a welcome home gift!!”

“Do I need to?” Shane sighed. He didn’t want to be doing much on his day off, one of the only ones he’d gotten all month with how much it had been raining on the weekends. He especially didn’t want to spend it doing errands either. Marnie gave him an unimpressed look, “Yes. You do. One, because it’s a nice thing to do. Two, it gets you out of the house to somewhere besides the saloon… And three-” she bonked him on the head with the wooden spoon, getting a grumble out of Shane and a giggle from Jas, “-because I’m your aunt and I said so,”

“Alright, alright…” Shane mumbled, not appreciating being scolded like a child. He looked to Jas, motioning his head to the barn, “You wanna go pick them out?”

Jas nodded, running off through the kitchen’s side-door to the barn where the chicks were corralled, looking intently over the little flock. She knew she had to pick out the best pair to send off. If they were leaving together, she wanted to make sure they were friends. Uncle Shane had told her they were social animals, after all! While she was off making her important decision, Marnie talked to Shane a bit more seriously in the kitchen.

“I think taking them over will be good for you… You two were such good friends when you were younger, maybe they can help you now,” Marnie whispered, making sure Jas couldn’t eavesdrop, “Besides, you need a little adventure, don’t you?”

A little adventure was a gross understatement when it came to Möhle. Shane jogged his memory, trying to recall that part of his childhood, when the two of them talked. Marnie and Möhle’s grandfather had a good business deal up until his death, leading the families to be very close with each other as the two grew up. Shane remembered some of the escapades that kid would bring him on; jumping into the river to look for frogs, finding snakes, foraging around the wooded area near the ranch for seasonal fruits. There was rarely a day where Möhle wasn’t absolutely coated in dirt, bumps, and bruises, a wild grin on their face as they wreaked havoc through town. They were also probably the only kid in town that could come close to keeping up with him in gridball, solely due to that seemingly never-ending stamina and refusal to give up. As crazy as they were, Shane couldn’t deny that reminiscing on these memories made him feel a sense of peace, happiness even. Marnie was right. The two of them had been good friends as kids, the best even.

But Shane wasn’t sure how well that friendship could be rekindled now. He couldn’t keep up with them like he used to, he didn’t have that energy or desire to do much nowadays. Would Möhle see him now, be yet another person finding themself disappointed in the man he’d become? He was almost scared to go. Besides, it had been so long since they last spoke. Where would they even pick up from? How different would they be? Would they even want to talk to him? Marnie could see the worry on his face, trying her best to be sympathetic, “You know they’re not the judgemental type… You’ll be just fine,”

“Yeah… I know,” Shane mumbled unconvincingly. He couldn’t help but still feel at least a little nervous about the reunion, his stomach twisting at the thought. He had to make a good impression, he just had to.

Jas returned with two small chicks in hand, cupping them close to her the way Shane had taught her to hold them, “I got Rosie ‘n Polly cuz they’re best friends! I don’t want them to be away from each other,”

“That’s sweet, chickadee,” he mused. The absolute empathy and love Jas felt for the animals at the ranch made Shane feel so proud. If there was one thing he thought he was doing right, instilling a love and respect for animals was it. Seeing how gentle and sweet she was with them was just the cutest thing.

He ducked back behind his door, trying to find something, anything to wear. The baggy tank top and cheesy patterned boxers he had on now surely weren’t going to do him any favors, nor were they presentable. Eventually, after much deliberation, he decided on a pair of faded jeans and his work hoodie, zipping it up to cover the tank top. Looking in his mirror, he brushed through his hair with his fingers, getting it to a somewhat presentable state before stepping out into the house. 

“Say hi for me, okay?” Marnie mused, giving Shane one last hopeful look, a silent affirmation saying ‘you got this!’. He still wasn’t entirely convinced, but it was best to get this over with as soon as possible, to avoid any more anxiety. Shane slipped on a pair of beaten sneakers, motioning his head to the door, “Let’s get goin’, Jassy,”

The path to the old farm was much more overgrown than Shane remembered. Remnants of old stone paths and buildings were overtaken by weeds and trees, the hissing and chirping of bugs serenading through the absolute forest the south side of the farm had become. It had gotten abysmally out of hand, leaving it in a frankly disappointing state. What a shame. Mr. Stofultz had taken such pride in his farm when he was alive, making sure each inch of land lived up to its potential. He wondered if Möhle would do the same, if they would do better or worse. He wondered if they were even the same person he remembered. 

“Stay close to me, okay?” he instructed, “Don’t want you getting lost,”

“I won’t!” Jas piped up, “I’ve been here before,”

“You what?” Shane questioned, looking incredibly concerned. Jas’ expression slipped into one of mild fear, realizing she was not supposed to say that. Shane furrowed his brow, asking her again, “Jas, what were you doing here? When?”

“... Me ‘n Vinny went explorin’ after school yesterday… we wanted to look for bugs,” she explained, her tone merely a mumble. Shane exhaled deeply, a frustrated tone following it. He was glad that she was getting along with Vincent, but he didn’t want the two of them running off to dangerous places like that. He did plenty of that as a kid, enough to know that he didn’t want Jas to do the same. Sounded like he needed to talk to Jodi about this now, too. 

As they approached the farmhouse, Shane had set expectations already. He expected to see that loud, energized explorer with a terrible haircut they’d done themself waiting for him at the farmhouse. He was already preparing for how his ears would be ringing by the time they headed back home. But when he and Jas got up to the north end of the farm, they saw… no one. The only sign that someone had been there was a small patch of vegetables newly tilled and watered in front of the house, a makeshift scarecrow standing watch in the middle. The coop sat to the left, surprisingly being one of the only buildings in any serviceable condition. It looked great actually, almost brand new. That… didn’t seem right. Even the farmhouse didn’t look that great. As he looked around at the state of it all, he heard an unfamiliar voice call out to him, the sound of something heavy dropping to the ground.

“Shane…? Is that you?”

He whipped his head to his left, flinching in surprise when he saw the person standing before him. They towered over him with a brawny frame at 6 feet tall, a mane of wild red hair upon their head, freckles covering every inch of their body, and soft hazel eyes haloed by thick, circular glasses. A little straw hat sat on their head, a loose button up shirt tucked into a brown ankle length skirt. A bundle of chopped wood sat at their feet, dropped from their arms in the shock of seeing him again. It took Shane a moment to recognize them, the differences staggering. The person in front of him looked so built, so well put together… It couldn’t be them, right?

“... Mö?” he furrowed his brow, looking them up and down in disbelief. Of anything he was expecting, the sight before him didn’t meet a single bit of it. The awkward wild child had been replaced by someone he barely recognized, someone who wasn’t his old friend. Möhle seemed so put together and straightlaced now. This was the opposite of what he remembered, making him begin to think he must’ve been mistaken about the past.

A soft smile found its way on Möhle’s face as they held out their arms for a hug, “It’s been too long, look at you!” they scanned their friend up and down, taking it all in, “Almost didn’t recognize you there!”

 They waited for a moment, realizing Shane was not too keen on returning a hug, then switching to offering a handshake. Shane reluctantly held out his hand in return, much to Möhle’s joy, “I really missed you…” they mused, a twinge of sadness hiding in their voice, “You didn’t return any letters or calls back then and I just… I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, honestly,”

“Mmm,” Shane mused, looking off to the side. It was true, he hadn’t been the best at communicating. But honestly, when was he ever? This was exactly what he feared when Marnie told him they were back. A confrontation over being a poor friend, a reminder that he should’ve done better. He shoved his hands in his pockets, a pink tint appearing on his cheeks, “My aunt, she uh… she wanted me to bring you something…”

“Oh, how is Marnie!” Möhles voice suddenly got much more excited, “She still running the ranch, or have you taken over yet?”

“She still is… She’s.. fine. She says hi, actually,” Shane stated flatly, staring at the ground in front of him. He was so frustrated at himself for being so flustered, unable to look them in the eye. He had a chance to make up for the past few decades and he was fumbling it terribly. Möhle seemed to not be clueing in on the unease, ever unable to pick up on those little intricacies and social cues. They turned their gaze to Jas, a soft gasp escaping them as they knelt down to her eye level, “And who’s this little angel?”

“I’m Jas!” she grinned, holding her hands forward, “And these are Rosie and Polly, they’re for you!”

Möhle let out a little *awwh* sound, taking the little birds into their palm, “Well thank you, Jas!” they looked up to Shane, giving him a smirk, “Full of surprises, aren’t you? Didn’t think you’d be the kinda guy to settle down,”

“I didn’t.” he stated plainly, his expression souring. Möhle’s smile dropped, a twinge of confusion and embarrassment replacing it, “Oh… sorry, I just assumed she was your da-”

“Yeah, I know,” he looked off to the side, still feeling his chest grow tight. A mix of frustration and embarrassment had a chokehold on him, and he wanted nothing more than to do what he normally did in an awkward situation: run away. Möhle tried to find a way to change the topic, attempting to salvage the reunion. As much as Shane felt like he was fumbling, Möhle felt like they were doing just the same. They had such expectations as well, imagining what he’d be like when they saw him again, if they saw him again. Nothing they imagined matched reality either, and they didn’t know how to grasp that.

The two of them just stared, quiet and honestly afraid to speak. Everything felt so stilted and awkward, neither really knew how to handle themselves. The embarrassment that came along with it was burning a hole through them, and they both wished for it to end already. Knowing they weren’t going to get much else out of this, Möhle decided it was time to draw the reunion to a close.

“Thank you for this, really,” they smiled, “But I have a lot to do, first day back and all… Once I have things set up you should all come over, though!”

“Can we?!” Jas asked, looking up to Shane with those wide eyes that made it nearly impossible to say no. He sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets, “I’ll think about it,”

“Good enough for me,” Möhle shrugged. They looked back down to the chicks in their hands, “I’m gonna get these two settled in now, but I’ll see you soon!”

They left Shane and Jas on their lonesome, Jas waving them off excitedly. She looked up to her godfather, “I like them!”

Shane nodded, staring off at the farmer until they ducked into the coop, unable to be seen from where he stood now. He was so entranced by them somehow, in the strangest way. Seeing them back like this, seeing how much they changed, it didn’t feel real. Möhle was frankly unrecognizable now, identifiable only by name. Was this how people felt when he moved back all those months ago? As he and Jas walked back to the ranch, he couldn’t get the look of their face out of his head. He wasn’t sure why, but there was just something that made them impossible to stop thinking about. Shane knew he could get obsessive over things, quite easily in fact. But this was strange, very strange. He wouldn’t understand what he was feeling now for a long, long time. 

---------------

“Aaaand that’s how it went this mornin’..” Shane explained, leaning back against the wall and taking a swig of his drink. Sam sat across from him on a stool, mulling over Shane’s story as he tore into a pizza, “Soooo… What’s wrong, exactly? It sounded like they’re nice,” he looked over to the other end of the saloon, seeing Möhle talking with a few patrons and Emily at the counter, “They’re gettin’ along with everyone, at least,”

“I don’t know, it’s just-” Shane sighed, resting his head against the brick wall of the fireplace. He looked over in Möhle’s direction, pondering their reunion and how strange it had been. Shane looked back to Sam, his expression still frustrated, “I just got so flustered. Made a damn fool of myself,” he groaned, feeling sorry for himself, “I don’t know why I was actin’ like that, I didn’t want to. It was like I couldn’t even control myself. Felt so embarrassed I wanted to die,”

“You just gotta focus on the future, man. Leave that behind and just do better next time you talk. I’m sure they’re not gonna hold it against you.”

“I know that,” Shane droned, “It’s just… hard. There’s a lot goin’ on and them comin’ back, it’s-” he didn’t know how to finish his sentence, not even sure where he was going with it. Everything was just so confusing. He didn’t know how he felt. Part of him was glad to see a familiar face, the other part dreaded it. Shane wasn’t even sure he wanted to be friends with Möhle again. Well… he did… maybe. He just didn’t know how to anymore. His friendship with Emily was just barely hanging on by a thread and the one with Sam was just barely beginning. He had so much on his plate already, so much to do and trudge through, he didn’t need another relationship to worry about, even if he wanted one. 

Möhle was just so… different too. Where did this cordial, mild-mannered person come from? It was like some doppelganger came in to replace them, a very, very unconvincing one. Long gone were the days of wild exploration and fun. They’d grown up, just as Shane did, and what it resulted in was a complete and utter stranger.

“Listen, if I tell you why, will you promise not to judge?”

“Yeah man, go for it,” Sam shrugged.

Shane folded his arms, thinking back to the past, when he was just a little kid. He promised Möhle he’d keep in touch, that he would call or send letters. And he did try at first, the first few months having some form of contact, but eventually he stopped. He didn’t know why, but suddenly it just became… difficult. It wasn’t their fault, and he hoped they didn’t feel that way. Shane was just a difficult person to be friends with, a difficult person to care for. It made him grateful for those who chose to be around him anyways. He shy-ed away when things got tough, never really facing it head on unless he desperately needed to. It was yet another vice, one that embarrassed him. 

“When they moved away I just… didn’t talk to them anymore. I actually kind of forgot about them for a while. It wasn’t on purpose, I don’t know why it happened, but-” he took a pause, trying to make anything sound better, knowing he must sound like an ass right now, “Seeing them again, it just reminded me of another thing I screwed up. I already don’t feel like I’m doing anythin’ right, and then I have to have it thrown in my face again.”

“Ah…” 

“I just can’t stop thinking about all of it. There’s so much I wish I could change, so much of the past I want to erase. If I had the chance I’d just restart my entire life honestly,”

“Honestly? I think that’s your problem, man,” Sam admitted. Shane looked at him skeptically, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean… you focus so much on all the bad that’s happened, what could’ve been and what you’d change. You spend so much time on that, that you’re missing out on all the good things happening right in front of you,” Sam motioned over to the farmer, “You have another chance… Don’t ruin it by focusing on what you did wrong,”

Shane blinked slowly, letting the sentiment work its way through his mind. Sam just shrugged, “Just somethin’ to think about… See you at work tomorrow, ‘kay?”

“Yeah… See you,” 

Sam headed out for the night, leaving Shane alone at the saloon counter yet again. He looked back over to the group of patrons surrounding the farmer, replaying the words Sam said in his mind. He did have the chance to make things better. He just had to pick himself up from this spot, force himself over there to talk. Why was that so hard? After a few minutes of hyping himself up, he finally peeled himself off the wall he leaned upon, taking slow strides to the other side of the counter. 

“Shane! Get over here, we need your opinion!” Emily waved him over, looking excited as ever. Shane sat at the only empty stool in the area, resting his elbows on the table, “Yeah? For what?”

“I wanna have a big welcome home party! Now that Möhle is here, the whole gang's back in town, we need to celebrate!”

“It doesn’t need to be big, Em…” Möhle looked a bit sheepish, seemingly flustered by the attention on them, “A little get-together is fine, honest,”

“Alright, alright… but I’m still gonna make it fantastic, you’ll see!” Emily motioned her hands in the air for a grand effect, looking back to Shane, “Anyways, we need to know what day to have it on. I’m thinking Friday night… Does that work?”

“I.. I guess,” he muttered. A welcome home party? Sure, it sounded fun, but… Shane couldn’t help but feel a very selfish feeling about now. Emily seemed to be pulling out all the stops for Möhle, but when he came back home it was… nothing. The two of them talked, yes, but it wasn’t anything like this. Emily looked as happy as a kid on the morning of Winter Star as she talked about this. He just couldn’t help but feel jealous, some kind of bitterness. He tried not to, trying to rationalize it in his head. Emily was just doing it now that everyone was back. It was nothing against him, he knew. But a nagging voice in the back of his head kept whispering the thought to him anyways. It made him feel sick. 

“Alright then! I’ll start getting things set up at my house then, it’s gonna be great!” Emily mused, “I’ll make sure Haley knows too, she’s usually down for a party anyways,”

“This really is a lot, but… thanks,” Möhle leaned against the counter, looking to the group around them with much appreciation, “It feels good to be back… it feels right. Thanks…”

“Anything for a friend, right?” Emily asked, looking at them with such adoration. For some reason it made something in Shane break. He pushed his glass to the side, lifting himself from his stool and striding out without another word. 

He quickly found himself at the cliffside, a strange feeling building inside him, one he couldn’t exactly place. Why did he feel like this, why was he so jealous right now? He knew he was overreacting, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe it was a desire to feel loved, to feel like someone outside of his family cared about him. As much as he acted oppositely, Shane desperately wanted to love and be loved, to have someone care for him. It just felt like everyone else was able to have that except for him. Maybe it was his own fault. Ever since the funeral he’d put up this prickly exterior, afraid to let anyone close to him. Jason and Amelia were the best things to ever happen to him, and he lost it all in a single moment. He blamed himself entirely, and he didn’t want to let more people in just to hurt them, even if the loneliness killed him.

Approaching that old abandoned house, Shane stuck an arm through the small opening in the siding, fumbling his hand around until he felt a thin cardboard box. Fumbling for its handle, he pulled it forward, revealing a pack of some Joja branded beer, the cheapest cans the store had in stock. Marnie had been incredibly strict about the no drinks in the house rule, but sometimes he didn’t want to be in the saloon and just needed a quiet place to be. Keeping a stash out here gave him that quiet space, completely alone and isolated from the world. He sat himself down at the cliffside, overlooking to see the choppy shore and sharp rocks down below as he opened his first can.

A rustling noise came from the bushes behind Shane, jolting him from his daze. He grumbled softly, turning around with a frustrated expression on his face, the wrinkles and dark bags under his eyes growing more pronounced, “Listen, I know I shouldn’t be out here, I’ll be home soon ae-”

His eyes adjusted, finding the intruder to be none other than Möhle, not Marnie as he expected. Part of him felt even more upset with this outcome somehow. Great. First he makes a fool of himself and now they’re seeing him like this. How fucking embarrassing.

“Oh,” Shane droned with annoyance, “It’s you,”

“Mind if I join you?”

“I don’t care. Do what you want,” Shane grunted, “Free country or whatever,”

Möhle took a seat next to him, the overgrown grass serving as plush seating. Shane reached his hand into the box next to him, holding out a can to the farmer, “Want one?”

Not wanting to be rude, Möhle took the can, opening it and taking a swig. As the drink met their tongue, the most disgusted look found its way onto their face, a cough erupting from their throat, “Yoba, this tastes like piss… How do you even like this stuff?”

“I don’t.” Shane droned, shrugging his shoulders weakly, “Just the cheapest brand I can afford,” A moment of silence sat between them before Möhle began to speak again, their tone and demeanor full of concern.

“You left the saloon like there was some emergency… you okay?” Möhle asked. Shane scoffed, taking another swig of his drink, “Why do you care?”

“Because we’re frien-”

“We were friends,” Shane corrected, “It’s different now,”

“Doesn’t have to be,” Möhle shrugged. He looked out over the side of the cliff, feeling their head grow woozy at the sight of the rocks below, “I missed you, all of you guys… especially you,”

“You’re kidding, right?” Shane grumbled, “You missed me?”

“Of course I did.. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m not exactly someone that most people ‘miss’, Mö…”

“Why not?”

“Because-!” Shane growled in frustration, crushing the can in his hand, “I don’t have to tell you. I don’t think you’d get it,”

He ran a hand through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut tight, “I’m not the same guy you remember. At all….” he shook his head, “Neither are you. Last I remembered you were some damn demon child, gettin’ up to no good. When did you get so straightlaced?”

Möhle pursed their lips, their voice growing quiet and dull, “The city changes you, I guess. People didn’t understand me, kids were mean. People seemed to like me better this way so I just… changed. Made it a lot easier to talk to people, to have friends. It helped professionally too, landed a good job from it,”

“Well at least you changed for the better,” Shane spat. He looked down at his shoes, a deep scowl on his face, “When I changed it was for the worst.”

“Says who?”

“Says everyone in this fuckin’ town… You should see the way they look at me when they think I don’t notice. They either look at me like I’m trash or some charity case they wanna fix,” he gritted his teeth so hard he feared they’d shatter, “You’ve only been back for a day and everyone looks at you like they love you… They do love you. People just don’t feel the same about me. Maybe Jas and Marnie, but that’s different. They’re family, you have to love family,”

There was a tense silence between them, so many words left unspoken, but still understood. The two of them both were shells of their previous personalities, their time in Zuzu city warping their souls beyond recognition. Shane found it jarring and unnerving, feeling like the city was somehow a curse, that anyone who came back from there would have lost themselves in the process. Möhle, on the other hand, found a sense of peace from it. Knowing they weren’t the only one, that they weren’t so alone in this, it gave them some sense of belonging. Möhle had also come to notice quickly how stuck in time this town was, how little had changed when they’d become a new person, the same observation Shane had made when he returned. Everything and everyone had stayed the same. Everyone except for the two of them.

“I don’t see you that way, if that makes you feel any better,” Möhle admitted, trying to give him a sympathetic look, Shane let out an unconvincing laugh, “Yeah, give it a few weeks and you’ll be singin’ a different tune,”

He looked out towards the ocean below the cliffs, looking at the way the moonlight reflected over the water. The stars were so clear in the valley, unaffected by the light pollution of the city. You could see for miles on this cliffside, the beautiful constellations basking over the water. The sight made him start to feel a bit introspective, the grand beauty of the world unlocking something in him. That, or the drink was starting to ease him up and loosen his tongue. But he liked to think it was the stars, preferring to see it in such a light. 

“Buh… life, y’know…?” he started, “Do you… ever feel like no matter what you do, or how hard you try, you’re just gonna fail?” Shane pulled the tab on another drink, grasping the can tight, “Sometimes it feels like I’m in some miserable abyss, and it’s so deep I can’t see the light of day…”

He took a swig and returned his gaze to the ocean, “I just feel like no matter what I do, I can’t get out of it. I’m not… strong enough to climb out. Not on my own,”

“Then don’t do it on your own,” Möhle stated, “You don’t need to,”

“See, this is why I say you don’t get it,” Shane grumbled, looking to them in frustration, “I’ve tried it both ways, on my own and with help… Both have ended up in failure after failure. The root cause is always me. And I just think… Maybe I’m that abyss. It just feels so hopeless. I don’t know why I keep tryin’. That feelin’ is always around the corner… I’m so scared of failin’ again,”

“I think I understand that, at least,” Möhle admitted, rubbing the fabric of their skirt between their fingers, a nervous twitch they’d picked up over the years, “There’s so much expectation everyone puts on you, and falling short just makes you feel like the worst.”

“What did you do, get a C on a test?” Shane scoffed, a bit of laughter tagging on the end, “Seriously, what could you have fucked up that bad?”

“I got fired from Joja corporate for losing a file that cost them a huge business deal,” they admitted, a pink tint on their cheeks, “It was a stupid mistake, cost the company millions… I got fired and didn’t really know what to do for a while. It’s why I decided to move here, actually,”

“Buh, fuck Joja,” Shane huffed, “That’s a good thing if you ask me, hate to see those rich bastards keep getting richer as if it isn’t people like us that earn them their money,” 

“Tell that to my boss, he lost his mind when he found out,”

“Listen, if that’s the worst you’ve ever done, I think you’re fine,” Shane shrugged, looking them in the eye for the first time all day, “Some of us out here have done much worse. You’ve got a future ahead of you, a good one… Be glad for it, because some of us don’t,”

“What do you mean by that?” Möhle questioned an air of concern in their tone. Shane looked away, staring back out over the ocean. Möhle could tell they weren’t going to get much else out of him now, the one cue they did pick up on. Ever since they were kids, Shane had this one expression he made when he got too uncomfortable to keep talking. They could tell by his eyes, seeing them go dim, their bright green hue fading away. They were about to stand up to leave, to give him some space, before he finally responded.

“I just don’t understand why I’m not better yet. It’s been six months now… I still don’t know what I’m doing. I’m a fuckin’ mess,”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re a little more put together than you give yourself credit for… I don’t really know what happened, or what you’re going through, but…. you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a good guy,”

“Yeah sure…” he pulled at his ratty hoodie, motioning to himself with disdain, “ I look like a damn trainwreck, just look at me.”

“I think you look just fine,” Möhle smiled.

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better,”

“I’m not lying… You do look fine,” they shrugged, giving him a little smirk, “Cute even,”

Shane felt himself get flustered again, that same frustrating feeling that plagued him earlier today. He nodded shortly, fumbling over his words, “Yeah… thanks- uh..” he quickly snatched another beer from the box, holding it out to them as he stared at the ground, “Want another?”

Möhle held up a hand, denying the offer, “Nah, I’ll get drunk, won’t be able to wake up in time to get my work done if I do… Thanks though,” Shane let out a little snort laugh, looking at them with a smirk, “Who the hell gets drunk off two little cans?”

There was yet another awkward silence, one that seemed to last forever. In the past the two of them would’ve been chatting each others ear off, enjoying each other's company. But now there was some sort of invisible wall between them, one that neither could seem to get through or over. It was only the first day back, but Möhle had hoped to rekindle their friendship with Shane quickly. Everyone else seemed to just pick up where they left off, but not him. He was a complete enigma now. They had no idea what had happened to the poor man, or what his lot in life was, but they hoped they could knock down those walls soon. They cared for him so deeply, and years of no communication hadn’t changed that.

“I missed you,” they whispered, a solemn weight falling on their shoulders, “Why did you never call back? You just… dropped off the face of the Earth,”

“I don’t know… I’m sorry,” Shane mumbled, “I guess I’m just an asshole. I didn’t know how to keep being friends with you… I never know what I’m doing, ever. It’s too late now though, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just… we’ve both changed so much. We’re no better than strangers now,” he complained, “I feel like I don’t know you anymore.. And you definitely don’t know me,”

“Well…” Möhle started. They held out their hand, giving him a soft smile, “In that case, why don’t we get reintroduced? We can have a do-over! I think I’d like to get to know this new Shane,”

Shane stared down at their hand, grasping the can in his just a bit tighter. Möhle still sat patiently, waiting for him to return the shake, an eager look on their face. After debating for a few moments, Shane sighed, turning his head to look out towards the cliffside yet again, “No, you don’t,” 

He stood from his spot, tossing his nearly empty can into the pile he’d left behind, the metal clacking together noisily. Lumbering back towards Marnie’s, he made it a point to not look at Möhle again. He knew they must look so disappointed, upset with him and his actions. Good. Better for him to get that over with now rather than let them down later. It was like ripping a band-aid off. The sooner and faster you do it, the less it hurts.

“You’ll be at the party, right?” 

Shane stopped for a moment, “.... Maybe.” 

He was lying, he knew he was. He wasn’t planning on going at all. But crushing their hopes like that, it felt too cruel. Without another word, he headed home, the silence of the woods deafening. Part of him wanted to turn back around, to apologize and talk to them normally, to tell them everything and agree on a do-over. But the part of his brain that took control kept him on his path towards home. It seemed that his mind was split on practically every decision he had to make in life. Shane didn’t really know what he wanted, and at this point he wasn’t sure he ever would. 

[hathorneheiress]

Oh my word!! I'm a dad!

Avery stared blankly at the little strip in her hand.

She knew it was going to happen, so why was it still a slight shock. Her and Jameson had been married for about six months, and it had been heaven. But both wanted someone else in their lives beside his brothers and her sister.

Weakly, she sat down at the side of the massive bed. How was she going to announce the news? To her sister. Her best friend. But most importantly, her husband.

Her loving, funny, caring, handsome, and most importantly devoted husband Jameson Winchester Hawthorne.

Just then, her husband walked into the room. A cocky swagger in his steps.

"Heiress." he said. "It's time for dinner."

Avery didn't respond.

"Hello? Earth to Avery."

"What?" she asked, looking up.

"What's the matter?" he asked, coming closer to his wife.

"Nothing."

He shook his head. "Heiress, I know your lying."

She didn't say anything, but allowed the strip containing the news fall into his hands. Jameson stared at it, like he couldn't process anything else.

"When did you find out?" He whispered hoarsely.

"Just now." Avery was crying she was so happy. "We did it Jameson. We are going to be parents."

Jameson just sat their, smiling just as big. "Your going to be a mom." He murmured, almost like he couldn't handle that thought.

"Yes. And you Jameson Winchester Hawthorne are going to be a dad."

Jameson slowly walked down one of the massive hallways. He was still trying to process the idea that he was a father.

A dad.

Something he had never had growing up. Something he craved as a child. A father to play ball with him. Chase him around the house. Play games with him. But most of all, to give him the securities a father should give his son. Something he really never had.

He had a maid call down saying Avery didn't feel up to going down to dinner and that he would be staying with her. Hopefully, that would keep everyone at bay till they could tell the news, but most likely not.

So lost in thought was he, that he didn't see another person coming around the corner. Jameson smack into the figure.

"Oomph!" he grunted. He looked to see that it was no other then his older brother Grayson.

The serious blond stepped clear. Never making a sound after the collision.

Jameson prepared himself for a lecture, but it never came. Instead, Grayson asked, "Is Avery alright? I heard she wasn't feeling well."

"She fine." Jameson tried to pretend that he hadn't just found out earth shattering news. Unfortunately, Grayson knew something was up.

"Alright Jameson, spill it." He ordered. "I know something is going on."

"We found out some news." Jameson said quietly.

"And?" Grayson gave him a look. "Was it bad? Do you need my help?"

Jameson smiled. No matter how stern Grayson seemed, there was always a part of him that was soft. Kind. Even if no one else saw it.

"It's good news. You have to promise not to tell anyone what I am about to tell you."

Grayson nodded. "I won't."

Jameson gave a big sigh. "I'm going to be a dad. Avery's pregnant."

Grayson wasn't one for showing emotions, but Jameson saw the eyebrow raise his brother gave.

""So that's why she wasn't' feeling well." Leave it up to Grayson to stay emotionless in a joyful time.

"Yea. We are going to tell everybody soon, but we needed some time to ourselves to process it."

"I see." Grayson paused. "And how do you feel, knowing all this?"

"Can I say excited? Nervous?"

"Thrilled?" Grayson asked, searching his brother's face.

"Yes." Jameson said smiling. "And thrilled. I can't believe it. I'm going to be a dad!"

"I know you will be a wonderful father." Grayson said in all sincerity. "I know you will be to the child what you didn't have. What we didn't have." He clarified.

"Thank you." Jameson said what he meant. "That means a lot to me."

Grayson nodded and they both parted ways.

Jameson was returning to his lovely wife and all he could think about was I'm going to be a dad!! I'm going to be a dad! I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!!!!!

Thank you so much @blocked-zombieartist for the request. I loved doing it so much. I hope this is what you were looking for.

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning || AO3 || My Website

Chapter 94: October 2017

The room wasn’t silent. Silence would definitely have been preferable to the faint but…distinctly organic sounds left behind in the aftermath of everything. There was a wet sucking sound every time someone so much as shifted their weight, let alone tried to pick up a foot and actually move, and an annoyingly intermittent splat as a thick, viscous liquid formed a bulbous drop and smacked into the center of a slowly forming puddle. The air, always somewhat chilly, seemed downright cold, and only long practice stopped Basira from showing how she was feeling.

Fuck, that had been a bad one.

Tim was the only one besides Basira who was still on his feet, but he was leaning heavily on the axe, his chest heaving for air, looking slightly shell-shocked. Melanie was on her hands and knees, streaked and spattered with pink and red, her hand still wrapped around the handle of the knife she had shoved to the tang into the last heap of meat to go down, sobbing for breath or maybe in anger. Sasha knelt next to her, one hand between her shoulder blades, talking to her softly; Basira couldn’t tell if it was having any effect at all, or frankly if it was helping Sasha any—she looked more bothered by the mess on the floor and, in fact, kept picking up her free hand and starting to rest it on her lap before hovering it awkwardly for a few seconds and then gingerly setting it down on the floor again. A few feet away, Martin still sat slumped where he had crumpled after the weird door vanished, back to a stack of boxes they were probably going to have to burn. His face was the color of old putty, and his breathing was shallow and slightly ragged. He was leaning heavily on Jon, his head resting on his shoulder, and Jon gently ran his fingers through Martin’s curls with his cheek pressed against the top of his head, a look of such tenderness and pain on his face that Basira had to look away.

The sound of a door banging open came from somewhere across the Archives. Martin’s head shot from Jon’s shoulder and his eyes snapped open, the green glow rising in them again; Tim straightened quickly, and Jon jerked upwards like he was going to get to his feet. Basira clenched her fists, not sure what she could do—she hadn’t exactly been very effective just now—but willing to try, since she was probably in the best shape out of all of them. In the split second it took her to think about it, though, Sasha fell back on her arse as Melanie’s head snapped up, and she leaped to her feet with a wild cry, yanking the knife out with a squelch as she did so.

“Melanie, wait—” Martin got to his feet with a speed that told Basira he was almost certainly going to collapse again as soon as this moment passed.

“Whoa!” Gerard caught Melanie’s wrist just in time. The knife fell out of her hand and clattered to the floor. “Neens, it’s me. It’s just me.”

Basira crossed her arms tightly over her chest to try and smother the emotions that rose in her chest at the expressions that skated across Melanie’s face—surprise, shock, and a mix of panic and devastation as it hit her that she had very nearly eviscerated her brother instead of an intruder. In typical Melanie fashion, however, she hit him with her free hand rather than apologize.

“You bastard,” she yelled as he gave a startled oomph and let go of her wrist. “What the hell were you thinking, just barging in here? Have you not ever heard of calling ahead?”

“Melanie,” Martin said, as emphatically as he could through tightly clenched teeth. Jon got to his feet beside him and took a breath, but a hand on his shoulder and a sharp shake of the head from Martin stopped whatever he was planning in his tracks. Probably that weird Simon Says thing he’d taken to doing in the last few months; he didn’t do it often, partly because Martin usually stopped him, but occasionally he tried to whip it out. He’d tried earlier to no effect, but Melanie was—theoretically anyway—easier for him to lay orders on.

Gerard held out both hands and looked around the Archives. “Would you have answered if I had? Or would it just have distracted you at a crucial point?”

Melanie looked like she was gearing up for another attack, but Sasha, who was probably going to have to burn her skirt now too, managed to get to her feet and wrapped her in a bear hug from behind. Restraint or embrace, Basira couldn’t say—maybe both—but Melanie only struggled against it for a second before sighing and giving up the fight, for a moment anyway.

Martin exhaled, the glow in his eyes vanished, and his entire body sagged once more. Jon caught him, or tried to, but he was close to a foot shorter and a good deal skinnier, especially these days, and it wound being something of a barely controlled mutual collapse. The second they were on the floor, he practically crawled into Martin’s lap and held onto him as Martin leaned against the desk this time for support to keep him from being completely flat out on the floor. It seemed that whatever he’d done—probably tried to Know who or what was coming—had taken what little of his strength remained.

Gerard looked momentarily torn, then evidently decided that Martin was in good enough hands for the moment and stepped over to Tim, then touched his shoulder gently, as if he wasn’t sure it would be welcome. It evidently was, as Tim let go of the axe and wrapped his arms around Gerard instead.

“That was fun,” he said dryly. It would have been unconvincing even if Basria hadn’t known what they’d just gone through.

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” Gerard swiped at something wet on Tim’s cheek with his thumb. It…probably wasn’t Tim’s. Basira didn’t think he’d got that close. “What the hell happened? And how the hell did it happen so fast? The wards just went crazy all of a sudden and I got here as quick as I could, but…” He gestured helplessly at the mess.

“Flesh,” Basira said succinctly. Gerard’s eyes barely flicked in her direction.

“I don’t know,” Sasha admitted. She risked resting her chin on Melanie’s head; Melanie showed her affection by not immediately removing it, from both her head and Sasha’s. “One minute everything was fine, if, you know, tense, and then suddenly, wham, we’re being attacked by sentient hamburger.”

“It’s only hamburger if it comes from the Hamburg region of Germany. Otherwise it’s just sparkling ground beef.” Gerard groaned dramatically, and Tim continued more seriously. “It was definitely the Flesh. Pretty sure the thing…leading or conducting or whatever was Jared Hopworth. Not that I’ve ever seen him before, but it fit what gets said about him in most of the statements he’s in.”

“It was.” Martin’s voice was a mere thread. Jon looked up at his face, eyes full of worry.

“Martin, Jesus, you sound like hell.” Gerard looked over Tim’s head at him. “What did you do?”

Martin let out a tiny huff of air. “What I had to.”

“You need—y-you need a statement. Or, or something.” Jon made as if to rise, but seemed reluctant to let go of Martin.

“Probably…more than one.” Martin tipped his head back against the desk and breathed slowly. “Give me a few minutes.”

“He was using his abilities to…stay on top of things,” Sasha told Gerard. “Give us as much of an edge as he could. And, you know, survive. Melanie and Tim fought most of them off.”

“Be accurate, Sash. Melanie fought most of them off,” Tim said. “I got like three, and only because Martin gave me a heads-up.”

“Well, look on the bright side,” Melanie said, her voice full of false joviality. “If you need a second income, you can always get a job as a hairdresser.”

Sasha looked slightly unhappy as she touched the back of her newly exposed neck, but said only, “You saved my life, anyway.”

“Maybe.”

“Almost certainly.”

“You did,” Gerard said, quietly but with absolute conviction. “Somebody nearly died, anyway. It’s why I was rushing so hard to get here. I felt—I could sense a death waiting for me, and then it just…snapped. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Jon looked around, as best he could from where he was, anyway. “I-I mean…a lot of things died here.”

“A lot of things stopped living,” Gerard corrected him. “They weren’t aware enough to die.” He blinked. “Or not enough to be satisfying to Terminus, anyway. I…take it Jared Hopworth escaped?”

“Not exactly,” Basira muttered.

She didn’t expect anyone to hear her. She didn’t know if they did or not. Sasha’s statement might have been connected, but then again it might not. “Michael was here.”

“The Distortion?” Gerard frowned deeply.

“No,” Martin said firmly. “Michael.” He opened his eyes, but there was a half-blind look in them, like he had a migraine, or maybe like he’d just woken up. “I mean, the…Distortion was here too, but…it was Michael that helped.”

Gerard exhaled heavily. “Christ, Martin, you had to deal with the Flesh and the Spiral in one day? No wonder you’re exhausted. You’re going to need something stronger than old bits of paper.”

“What do you suggest?” Martin said, as close to testy as he was probably capable of right about then. “That I go…pounce some random person at a Tesco Express? Ask them to…spill their secrets?” He swallowed and closed his eyes again. “I at least need to…start with the paper ones. Otherwise I…won’t be able to get up.”

Jon made a small, distressed noise in the back of his throat and curled closer to Martin for a moment. “I’ll get you something, hold on.”

“Just…let me rest for a minute, Jon. I’ll…be okay.” Martin turned and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of Jon’s head, then groaned quietly and dropped his head back against the desk, as if even that slight movement had cost him dearly. Anyone with half a brain could see that he wasn’t anywhere near the vicinity of okay.

Basira looked around the Archives as Sasha attempted to explain to Gerard what, exactly, had gone down. What a mess. This was going to take forever to clean up. She was almost tempted to ask why bother, since they’d really only just finished cleaning up from the last one, but, well, at least that one hadn’t involved…viscera. This wasn’t just chaos, it was gross, and they couldn’t stay down here in it. They also couldn’t very well leave it, not really. Not for more than overnight or the weekend, and even that was rapidly becoming a luxury. Basira honestly couldn’t remember if Martin had set foot out of the Archives to go into the rest of the building, let alone outside, in the last month. Certainly he always seemed to be there when she came in after an increasingly rare night in her own flat.

They hadn’t had long to believe, or pretend to believe, they’d really won after Elias’s arrest. Basira, for lack of anything better to do, had gone up to Elias’s old office with the idea of…she didn’t know what, getting the tapes maybe, or getting out their employment contracts and burning them to see if that would free them. Manal had been away from her desk, and the door had opened easily enough, but she hadn’t been in more than thirty seconds when a man’s voice spoke from behind and introduced himself as the temporary Head of the Institute “while Elias is incapacitated”. He’d assured her things would continue to run smoothly, and she’d escaped, defeated, to tell the others. Warn might be a better word for that. Martin had gone white when she’d named the man, then gone up to introduce himself as Archivist, or so he said. As far as Basira knew, he still hadn’t been able to do that, or anything else. They knew Peter Lukas was up there—God knew he sent out enough memos about reorganization and policies, and they’d all heard what had happened to the two guys in Research who’d decided to ignore one of them—but it didn’t seem like anyone else had seen him. Just her.

Not that anyone in the Institute was really talking to anyone else. Basira had never really been one for socializing in the breakroom anyway, even with the Archives staff, but now it was like everyone was actively ignoring her when she ventured above the basement level. Even Manal had stopped saying hello when she passed by. She wasn’t sure how much of it was the influence of the Lonely permeating every level of the building and how much was her specifically, or how much of it was the current situation in the Archives and people not wanting to get involved, which was Martin’s theory. His logic—that nobody had seemed to know what was going on down there when Gertrude was Archivist either—was sound, anyway, but there was a part of her that was skeptical, and a part of her that wondered if it was engineered somehow.

If Peter Lukas believed things were “running smoothly”, he either hadn’t paid attention to anything he couldn’t watch on CCTV or had his own reasons for wanting the Archives to be in chaos. It hadn’t been two weeks after they got back from the Unknowing before the first attack happened, all the lights going out at once and the shadows starting to move. They’d fought it back easily enough, but there had been another just before Martin’s birthday, and then another, and then another. All told, the one they’d just survived had been lucky number thirteen, and for a minute, Basira had been sure it would be the one to finish them. If not for Melanie, it probably would have been. And Martin had used so much energy trying to protect them—Sasha had massively downplayed what he’d done, but she was probably trying to keep Gerard from blowing a gasket—that the only reason Basira didn’t think he was likely to die was that Gerard hadn’t called him on it.

They couldn’t keep this up forever. Sooner or later someone was going to get killed. Martin was probably the only person Basira really cared enough about to mind if he died, but she also knew that he’d never get over it if someone else died on his watch. Even if it was her.

She didn’t have much of an illusion that the others would even notice.

“This can’t keep happening,” Tim said, and Basira wondered briefly if he was reading her mind before deciding that, no, he just happened to be thinking the same thing. “They’re getting worse all the time.”

“I don’t control the other Fears, Tim. I…barely have any influence over ours, let alone…anything that could remotely be termed control.” Martin was slowly regaining his breath, but he still sounded incredibly weak. “I might have a few powers, but…I’m not really all that powerful. Comparatively. Just enough to be annoying.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Gerard muttered. He still hadn’t let go of Tim. “There’s got to be a way to make these attacks stop.”

“Open to suggestions, Ger.”

Gerard sighed, sounding exasperated. “Can we start with why? Do we have any idea why all these attacks are happening—or why they’re this bad? They weren’t exactly uncommon under Gertrude, but not like this, I don’t think.”

Martin considered that. “Maybe. Not like we’d have…known upstairs.”

“You know the answer to that,” Melanie snapped. She still hadn’t made any real attempt to break out of Sasha’s hold, and Basira knew she could if she really wanted to. “You said yourself, she disrupted every ritual she could come up with, and the Eye’s one of the only ones that hasn’t attempted yet. Stands to reason they’re trying to stop us from getting one off too.”

“That—makes sense,” Jon said slowly. “If the Eye remakes the world in its own image before the others get a chance, they’ll be rather put out. And how do we know that isn’t why Gertrude kept trying to stop them? Maybe Elias did kill her to keep her from starting the Watcher’s Crown.”

“She was trying to avoid being part of it,” Gerard said, a little uncertainly.

“So she told you. Are you sure she wasn’t lying?”

Martin rubbed his forehead hard, grimacing. “Can we please stop asking questions for a bit? At—at least until I can keep from Knowing the answers better?”

The way Melanie and Jon looked at that was the final straw for Basira. She turned on her heel and strode out of the Archives, secure in the knowledge that nobody was paying enough attention to her to even see her leaving, let alone stop her.

Martin was right. He wasn’t that powerful, in the grand scheme of things, and the powers he did have weren’t really all that helpful in a fight. He wasn’t omniscient any more than Elias was, couldn’t just Know attacks were going to happen, and had to concentrate even to know what a single opponent was doing, let alone all of them. And he didn’t have the skill set to keep things from attacking in the first place.

There was one person that did, though.

Manal wasn’t at her desk when Basira hit the main floor. She didn’t know if it was because she was off on an errand or because it was now so late that everybody else in the Institute had gone home, since she felt like there wasn’t another soul in the building besides her and the crew in the Archives, but she didn’t care. The important thing was the door behind Manal’s desk. If the office wasn’t occupied, she would damn well wait until it was. As she got closer, though, she could sense—no idea how, maybe the same instinct she’d had as a police officer—that there was someone in there. Without breaking stride, she barged her way in.

“You have to stop this,” she said without preamble.

The man who had been scanning the shelves for something turned to her with a benign smile. He looked much as he had the first time she had seen him—tall and austere, with fine white hair and a mustache to match and between them a pair of the darkest blue eyes she’d ever seen—except that he had changed out his vaguely naval uniform for the most inoffensive, boring black suit possible and seemed inordinately delighted by it.

“Stop what, Basira?” he asked mildly.

Basira folded her arms over her chest. “You’re the head of the Institute. That means you have a responsibility. You can stop all these attacks.”

“Oh?” Peter Lukas raised his thick but finely sculpted eyebrows into his hairline, but he didn’t look like he was challenging her, the way Elias would have—more like the idea had never occurred to him before and he found it intriguing. “Can I, do you think?”

“Yes.” Basira took a deep breath—and took a risk. “Elias could have. He chose not to, but he could easily have made the things stop bothering the Institute. Nothing would dare attack the Institute directly if he forbade it, I bet.”

It worked. The look of jealousy and pride that flickered through Peter’s eyes told her she’d judged him right; he was competitive and ruthless and would stop at nothing to be the best. If she lured him in with the idea that Elias might have been better than him at something, he’d instantly do it. The fact that he instantly suppressed it, though, told her that she’d also been right in her thinking. This wasn’t going to come free.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “I certainly can protect the Institute…or at least the Archives. I think that may be the most vulnerable part, don’t you agree? But…” He sighed theatrically. “That is the Archivist’s job, is it not?”

“The Archivist is strong enough to protect his people.” Maybe, Basira added silently. For now. “But the Archives? That needs more. That needs you.” She bit her lip, then said the words she knew she would work, but would also commit her to this path. “I’ll do whatever you need me to. Whatever you ask. Just…make it stop.”

Peter studied Basira for a long moment, probably assessing how serious she was. “Well. I could use a personal assistant. Are you prepared for what that might entail?”

Basira shrugged. “What do I have left to lose?”

“Yes.” Peter drew out the word slowly. He looked her over for a moment, then smiled. “Well, then, Basira…we have ourselves a deal. Your assistance—with everything I need at the Institute—in exchange for your, ah, colleagues’ safety.”

He held out his hand.

Basira hesitated. Something told her this would be even more binding than the contract she’d signed under duress. Once more she would be sacrificing herself for someone else, and it wasn’t even the partner she’d depended on, just a bunch of people who probably wouldn’t even have a clue what she’d done for them.

But as she’d said…what did she really have left to lose?

She reached out, making an effort to be absolutely sure she didn’t tremble, and accepted the handshake.

“It’s a deal.”

[xshatteredreflectionsx]

Let's see. What about... Morgan with Flying, or Moira with Psychic?

Give me a Pokemon Type and I'll Make a Team :)

Morgan probably isn't going to be winning any high-tier competitions, but that really isn't the point, lmao.

Rowlet- If Decidueye wasn't ghost/grass he would have made the cut. But regardless, Rowlet is just a polite little man. If you've seen Ash's Rowlet in the Sun/Moon Anime, Morgan's would be like that; sleeping in their backpack, eating their snacks, and just generally being the best little bird orb he can be. Noivern-Aside from giving Morgan's team a little extra 'oomph', I imagine she would be their guard-bat dragon. Sweet as sugar to Morgan, and then turning around to immediately hiss threateningly at whoever may be lurking in the dark (especially since Morgan can get it a little narrow-minded when taking pictures outside). Rotom- Rotom is one of those Pokemon that I imagine would always be on Morgan's team in some capacity or another. In battle, they would be the jack-of-all, master-of-none to try and mitigate the weaknesses of an all-flying type team. Gyarados- She's primarily used for water-transportation, but she can absolutely hold her own in a battle- because she's a Gyarados. Her species are infamous for being destructively violent, so I don't imagine there are a lot of pictures of them in their natural habitat. Morgan shamelessly uses their Gyarados for pictures that would otherwise be incredibly difficult to get. Chatot- Primarily a non-combatant, Morgan's Chatot as been trained since hatching to translate sign language to vocal language. The sad truth is not everyone in the world knows sign or is willing to wait for Morgan to write things down. Since he's a service Pokemon, he spends the most time out of his Pokeball. Tropius- Morgan's primary flyer and, because deep down I'm a sentimental old what'cha'ma'callit, a gift Pokemon from their parents. A strong and steady flyer, a lot of Morgan's aerial shots have been taken from Tropius's back.

-------

Moria (You said Moira specifically, so this will be pre WKM)

Gardevoir- A gentle, calming presence, Gardevoir is an emotional support partner, softly singing or humming whenever Moira is several days into a stressful case. She is also not opposed to the idea of forcing Moira into sleeping using Hypnosis, or by levitating her paperwork out of reach until she takes a proper break.

Gallade (Mega)- Not that she'd ever admit it to anyone, but Moira is a hopeless romantic at heart, and when she was little she fantasized about a charming and gallant prince to come and rescue herself and her mother from their poor living conditions. She inevitably grew out of those fantasies, but her love for those old fairy tales remained.

Espeon- There really isn't any deeper meaning other than the fact that Moira loves cats. Espeon isn't a cat, but you can bet your bottom dollar that he's just as pampered and spoiled as the average housecat. Moira first got him as an Eevee, and despite him acting indifferent at best, it's hard to ignore the fact that Espeon evolves from happiness.

Slowbro- Look at that doofy smile; there is nothing in that head. Slowbro is one of Moira's oldest Pokemon, having met him as a Slowpoke trying to fish in a water-filled pothole on the side of the road. He doesn't do much other than stand, stare, and occasionally chew on his paw, but Moira loves him regardless.

Raichu- Received in a trade wherein she gave the other person a Kadabra. Moira knew what a Raichu was (who doesn't?) but she wasn't expecting a darker, rounder, much more energetic Raichu who flew around on its tail and loved flapjacks. Moira does love her strange little Raichu, and finds an odd sense of comradery in that they're both seen as "other" for not being entirely native to the country.

Delphox- Moira's very first Pokemon, as a matter of fact. Fennekin was most likely brought to California as an exotic pet, but she either escaped or was abandoned. No one ever specifically mentioned having ever lost a Fennekin so Moira, young and stubborn, insisted that meant Fennekin as hers; finders keepers after all. Regardless of how she came into Moira's life, she's grateful for her presence, as she's been a constant pillar of support and familiarity, especially useful when she started living on her own.

[kudossi]

Hollypaw/tuft and the Problem of WindClan!Hollyleaf

Part 1 (Lionblaze and the Problem of WindClan!Hollyleaf)

Part 2 (WindClan!Hollyleaf and the Problem of Hollykit/tuft)

—

“Hollypaw,” Lionblaze says imperiously, his head held almost absurdly high, “meet your aunt, Hollyleaf.”

Hollypaw stares. Hollyleaf stares back.

“She looks exactly like me,” Hollyleaf complains.

“You look exactly like me,” Hollypaw throws back, indignant.

Hollyleaf snorts disbelievingly. “I came first,” she says.

“I came last! It’s mine now!”

Lionblaze grins. “Well, I’ll leave you two to figure this out on your own, shall I?” he asks, moving to leave.

“Oh, you’re not going anywhere,” the older version of Hollypaw says. “I had to find out about your daughter's name from Dovewing. Dovewing, Lionblaze!”

“Sorrelpaw?” Hollypaw’s father’s expression is serious, but the twitching of his whiskers gives him away. “What's wrong with Sorrelpaw's name?”

“I’m going to kill you and I’m going to enjoy it.”

“What, you don’t like your gift?”

“A kit isn’t a gift!” Hollyleaf nearly shrieks. Several heads turn toward them. Most of those do double takes when they see Hollypaw. “It’s a curse!”

Hollypaw tries to protest that she isn’t a kit, thank you very much, but she’s ignored by both parties.

“She,” Lionblaze corrects mildly. “She’s a curse.”

Hollypaw stares. “What the fuck, Dad,” she says with vehemence.

“Language,” Lionblaze chides, but he doesn’t seem too upset about the whole situation.

Hollyleaf scowls. “You’re legacy named,” the black she-cat informs Hollypaw. “Except there’s one problem. I’M NOT DEAD, so it DOESN’T COUNT.”

This last part is directed to Lionblaze, who only grins.

“Technically you are dead, according to ThunderClan law,” comes Jayfeather’s voice from behind her. Hollypaw jumps forward, hitting her WindClan aunt in the chest.

Hollyleaf lets out a small oomph, but she’s taller than all three of them, a whole head taller than Lionblaze, and she doesn’t stumble. “You see me every Gathering!” she protests. “Every single one! I’m clearly not dead!”

“And now you get to meet your legacy!” Lionblaze exclaims sunnily. “Most dead cats don’t get to do that.”

“I’M NOT DEAD!”

“I don’t know,” Hollypaw’s mother says, startling Hollypaw some more, “you’re looking pretty dead to me. On your feet, at least.”

“OF COURSE I LOOK DEAD, I’VE BEEN GIVEN CONTROL OF HALF THE APPRENTICES’ DEN WHILE—I’M NOT EXPLAINING THIS TO YOU,” Hollyleaf yell-decides, her claws sliding out to meet the grass by Hollypaw’s paws.

“Violence,” Lionblaze chides idly. Literally no one around them looks the least bit concerned, which really doesn’t bode well for the collective sanity of Hollypaw’s family. “I always thought that was more my speed.”

“I will kill you. I killed your mentor, your powers never worked on me, and I will kill you.”

“At a Gathering?” Cinderheart says lightly. “Under the light of StarClan? Well I never.”

Hollyleaf slumps. “You’re all the worst. You murder one cat—”

“Two cats,” Jayfeather corrects.

Hollypaw… is beginning to wonder who exactly she’s named after.

“Three if you count Cinderpelt,” Cinderheart adds. “Which I don’t, but if we’re covering our bases…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Hollyleaf interrupts, annoyance lacing her tone. She stares down at Hollypaw, and Hollypaw looks up at her almost-reflection with something like trepidation. Or terror. Maybe terror. “Well, thanks for the gift.”

“Wait—” Hollypaw protests, but Hollyleaf is already somehow lifting her by her scruff — I’m almost full-grown! Hollypaw thinks indignantly — and dragging her off toward WindClan.

“Hold up—” Lionblaze starts.

“Where are you taking her?” Cinderheart exclaims in the same breath.

Hollyleaf drops Hollypaw unceremoniously. “You gave her to me,” she explains. “Face the consequences.”

“What consequences?” Hollypaw asks.

“I didn’t give her to you!” Lionblaze argues.

“You actually did,” Jayfeather says, helpful as always.

“Hello?” Hollypaw says into what’s apparently a mass of cats deliberately not hearing her. “Is anyone listening to me?”

“THIS IS WHAT YOU GET,” Hollyleaf repeats, and then proceeds with the kidnapping. A white she-cat falls into step next to her, then a brown one, and suddenly she’s surrounded by a distinctly amused-looking WindClan.

Hollypaw kind of wants to bite someone, but… eh, maybe her parents deserve this. WindClan sounds like a nice sort of vacation. Warrior apprentices don’t get a lot of those, after all.

She can still hear her parents’ protesting and Jayfeather’s cackling as she’s set down beside a WindClan apprentice.

“Holy shit, you’re a fucking clone,” the apprentice exclaims, looking from Hollypaw to Hollyleaf and back again.

In response, Hollyleaf seems to radiate an aura of distinctly unimpressed.

Hollypaw giggles despite herself. Yeah, this should be fun. Weird, but fun.

[formenis]

Can you do a oneshot of L Lawliet where he is in a secret relationship with Light's twin sister and she finds out she is pregnant so she shows up at Task Force to tell L and just announces it to the whole task force but its L who announces he is the father.

OML I'm so sorry for the delay, Anon-san 😭😭

Lately I'm feeling so overwhelmed and in the dumps that I lost any sort of inspiration. I hope you like it thou.

.

.

TITLE: NEWS

pairing: L x Yagami!fem!pregnant!reader

warning: none.

«See you later mom»

«Be careful dear. You too Light»

«Yeah bye mom»

And the door was softly closed after that answer. The two Yagami twins, Y/N and Light, always left home earlier than their sister Sayu. Light had to take the train for the Daikoku Private Academy while Y/N was a last year high school student at the Gamou Prep Academy, where her twin brother attended supplemental classes in the afternoon. Actually, it was what her family knew. The reality was a lot different.

Despite the two twins had the same age, the same skills and the same perfect school report, Y/N had that extra oomph that Light hadn't. It was thanks to this oomph that ensured her a special, secret job. She was noticed by no less than the greatest detective in the world, L.

Y/N Yagami had everything L needed: intellect, slyness, excellent rhetoric. At first, they had a simple working relationship made of mutual respect and esteem. But as time passed those feelings changed.

Initially Y/N felt strange: L was this mysterious detective with an extraordinary mind and skills, she never saw him in person. She had the impression that what she felt for him was wrong: what if L didn't exist? Y/N was so curious about him that one of their online meetings, she couldn’t wait to ask him thatquestion.

«L, can I ask you something?»

« 𝚈𝚎𝚜»

«Why did you decide not to show yourself? Can you describe yourself to me, please?»

A long pause followed her question. Y/N didn’t know what to say (or to do). She had the feeling she crossed the threshold.

«𝙱𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝙻 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚢. 𝙸𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝙻 𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛»

Such an arrogant person. Y/N expected an answer like that. So she gave up with her wish to see her crush' face.

Sometime later, however, the Yagami girl met someone. A pale, tall young man with a simple white shirt and faded jeans; his hair was moved by the wind and they seemed messy yet rather silky. He was standing there, at the top of the Tokyo Train Station's stairs, staring intensely at her, few steps higher than the girl. This man was blocking the way and Y/N was in a rush.

«Excuse me, I have to-»

«You're Y/N Yagami?» he immediately interrupted her and in the meantime he hid his hands in the pockets of that faded jeans.

«Who wants to know it?» Y/N replied defensive. Unlike Light, Y/N had good skills in many martial arts and she was ready to kick his ass, just in case.

«Me»

Y/N hadn’t the idea that in front of her there was L himself. He introduced himself as Ryuzaki but, for some reason, she couldn’t believe him. For her, it was like he had a good answer for everything as if he planned every single (and possible) question from the Yagami girl. That reminded her of…L. Everything about him reminded her of the detective.

Day after day this Ryuzaki started to appear more and more often in her life: at the train station, on her way home or after school. He told her he was studying for the entrance exam at the To-Oh University, that was why the two of them were seeing each other that often.

«I see, what do you want to study?»

«Criminology»

Y/N and Ryuzaki created a strange bond between them. The Yagami twin felt so at ease with him despite his particular (and rather unique) behaviour: she didn’t mind about the large amount of sugar he ate or the sitting position he took. He was so smart and brilliant…once again she thought about L.

It seemed like that Ryuzaki appreciated Y/N's presence too. He loved listening to her or analyse every single feature of her figure. She would find him staring at her such intensity that she would look away.

Y/N, however, had so much in her mind. She was so convinced that Ryuzaki and L were the same person that she felt so anxious around him. She had to know the truth.

«Ryuzaki, can you tell me something?»

«What is it, Y/N-san?»

«Are you L?»

The two of them were waiting for the train and Ryuzaki was standing (or "slouching" actually) right beside her. His dark hair covered the face and Y/N couldn’t tell what he was feeling or thinking. She was afraid that she crossed the threshold.

Ryuzaki smirked and sighed through the nose as if he laughed silently. Then he turned to look at her. «Yes»

He kept staring at her while Y/N got pale and returned the stare with wide E/C eyes. So she was right…he was L. The real L. She couldn’t believe that this man…with faded jeans and a simple white shirt…was L. The same L she started to love.

That was how their story began.

───────◇───────

Now Light was going to finish his last year of school together with his twin sister Y/N but something else what happening outside the Yagami household: Kira.

This person took the role of judge, jury and executioner of the criminal world not only in Japan. Kira was such a disgusting, immoral human being, Y/N hated him. Nobody had the right to play with other's life regardless of their police record. Light, however, didn't agree with his sister.

«I don't understand your point, N/N. The world would be a better place without criminals, you have to realise that»

«Of course it would be a better place without them, Light. But it's not the right method!»

«And what would be "the right method"?» Light asked her making air quotes with his fingers.

«Uhh…I don't know maybe putting them before a judge?» Y/N simply replied. «Kira is not the solution, Light»

Her brother was so different lately. Since this Kira appeared Light started to act strange, Y/N was the first to notice it. Not even her mother, father and Sayu perceived it.

Y/N was feeling strange too actually. After Ryuzaki's "confession" about his identity the two of them admitted their respective feelings. Y/N was so happy that Ryuzaki felt the same as her, she was so happy. Sachiko noticed it and asked her if her happiness was due to a boy but Y/N didn’t give her a proper answer.

Ryuzaki was investigating about Kira and he booked a suite at the Imperial Hotel and Y/N would pay him a visit from time to time. They talked, played, ate and even made love in that room. And it was since one of those times that Y/N started to feel weird.

«Let's not talk about it, alright Light?»

«Fine» her twin shrugged and kept walking home together. After a while they crossed a konbini, a Japanese convenience store.

«Wait Light, I have to buy something»

«Alright, I'll wait you here»

And Y/N ran inside the shop while Light started to read a book outside. She had to buy few things: a new set of pencils, chips and…a pregnancy test. Yes, a pregnancy test.

She had all the symptoms: swollen breasts, nausea, fatigue. And the fact that she missed the last period was a sort of final proof. But she wanted to be sure.

Once she payed everything Y/N left the shop and kept walking home with Light. He was looking suspiciously at her but he said nothing.

.

> TIME SKIP <

«Positive…it's positive» Y/N repeated in a whisper while looking at her pregnancy test. Her E/C eyes were still glued to the test when she heard someone knocking at the door.

«Y/N! I need the bathroom!»

«Me too!»

Light and Sayu were staying right outside the door, Y/N hoped they didn’t hear what she said before. She hid the test in the pockets of her jeans and left the bathroom.

«Sorry» and she ran downstairs. Light, once again, looked at her with clear suspicious and raised an eyebrow. Sayu took advantage of this moment to lock herself in the bathroom.

«Sayu! I have to go with dad, leave the bathroom!»

In the meantime, Y/N already left the house and was literally running towards the Imperial Hotel, where Ryuzaki had his room (and where the Task-force met L for the first time). He had to know it.

About ten minutes later Y/N arrived at the hotel and quickly went to Ryuzaki's suite. She was bouncing off the walls for the excitement.

«Ryuzaki!» she spread the door open and ran inside. She quickly reached him and made him turn towards her.

«What is it Y/N-chan?» he asked calmly.

«I have to tell you something!»

«And what would it be?»

«I'm pregnant!» she said smiling. It, however, faded quickly when she saw Ryuzaki's lack of reaction to that news. Was he…disappointe-

«What?! Are you serious Miss Y/N?» the young voice of Matsuda echoed in the room making Y/N distract from the man in front of her.

The Yagami girl noticed that her father's entire Task-Force was working in the same room as L and she didn’t notice them when she entered the suite. Excitement was replaced by fear.

«Uhm…well…»

«Congratulations!» Matsuda got up and walked closer to her with a kind smile on his young face. That smile cheered her up a little.

«Thank you Matsuda-san»

The rest of the Task-force congratulated to her too, they were all so happy about that news. The only one who didn’t say anything was L, the father.

Aizawa started to give Y/N some "parental" advices when L's suite room opened again revealing Soichiro and Light at the doorstep. Y/N didn’t notice it immediately and she couldn’t stop Matsuda from rushing towards his boss to give him that important announcement.

«Boss, did you know it?»

«What is it Matsuda?»

«Miss Y/N is pregnant!»

Silence.

Silence of a grave, to be precise.

Nobody dared to speak, to move, to breathe. It seemed only Matsuda wasn’t feeling that heavy atmosphere.

At those words Soichiro walked towards his daughter and placed his strong hands on her shoulders.

«Y/N, is it true?»

She gulped and swallowed hard. «Yes dad, Matsuda-san is right» her voice showed no fear, no embarrassment, no shame. Even if her family didn’t agree, she wasn’t going to give up that easily.

«Who is the father? Someone assaulted you?» he immediately asked sounding rather worried and serious. Y/N was going to answer when she heard some sort of mumbling from behind, where L was sitting.

«Did you say something, Ryuzaki?» asked Soichiro.

«I said, Yagami-san…» he took an ice-cream sandwich and divided it in two. «I am the proud father» he turned towards the policeman and licked the vanilla cream without looking away from the man.

Soichiro couldn’t see her but Y/N was smiling widely at Ryuzaki who smiled back for a mere second before

[lovebykai]

Fangs

》 Month of Monsters - October 15th, 2021: Vampire

Pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x Reader

Warnings: Biting. Aphrodisiacs.

Authors Note: Reposted.

You weren't entirely sure when you'd started giving Kyoutani the time of day. Sometime between seeing him at a house party -- and the awkward backtracking when he gave you a funny look at school the next day -- and watching him at volleyball practice.

"Y/N!" You smiled brightly at Kindaichi as he waved you over.

"You came!" The two of you were childhood friends, and while you hadn't went to the same middle school, you were pleased to find that you'd both ended up first years at Aoba Johsai.

Honestly, it was more because he helped to give your sweet and demure little angel image just enough oomph that if you were spotted doing something naughty nobody would believe the whistle-blower, but he had always been a pretty loyal friend, too.

"Of course I did!" You fiddled with the hem of your -- perfectly pressed -- skirt as Mad Dog scittered across the edge of your vision. Ever since you'd frozen like a deer in headlights when he gaped at you playing beer pong that one time you’d been hyper-aware of him.

"Good luck!" Kindaichi grinned as Iwaizumi called him back to warm up; when you turned to head for the stands, you tensed. Kyoutani gave you a tiny smirk when you, once again, froze under his stare. It wasn't until he turned away that you convinced your legs to work again.

---

"Dude, I said no." You spat at the second year who'd decided he wanted to harass you into smoking a joint with him; the guy apparently didn't know what no meant. It was obnoxious and you were fuming at his relentless attention, rolling your eyes as you moved to head to the backyard where they'd set up the games. His hand curling around your forearm sent you into a mild panic; when you tugged and he didn't let go, your heart settled in your throat.

"Don't be such a bitch, man, it's just--" You couldn't quite stifle a squeal as someones hand grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him away from you; luckily, the boy was smart enough to let go instead of dragging you down to the floor with him.

"I'm pretty sure she told you no." Kyoutanis voice settled your stuttering heartbeat and you couldn't do anything but give him a wide-eyed stare.

"Please don't get us thrown out already, we just got here!" Yahabas long suffering sigh as he followed behind his classmate knocked your senses back into operation.

"He shouldn't be acting like a fucking--"

"Thank you." You chirped before losing your nerve, trying not to crush your solo cup when they both gave you funny looks.

"No problem." Yahaba was the one who answered, and Kyoutani grunted; the three of you walked out to the backhard together, and you couldn't help but feel like you were being watched for the remainder of the night.

---

"Wanna dance?" Yahaba wriggled his eyebrows and you rolled your eyes with a soft laugh.

"Dude." Kyoutani sighed, exasperated, as you tucked your phone back into the pocket of your hoodie with a grin.

"Mm, not with you." He pressed a hand to his chest, feigning agony as you batted your eyes at Kyoutani teasingly; the faux-blonde cocked an eyebrow, obviously fighting back a little grin.

It was an easy thing, flirting with Kyoutani.

Much easier than trying to pretend you handn't started regularly bumping into the duo of trouble-makers anyway.

Apparently you shared a few friends -- friends none of you should have, frankly, but where was the fun in that? -- so the three of you had formed an unlikely trio so long as you weren't on campus. Yahaba found your "secret lifestyle" hilarious, and Kyoutani just didn't gossip much, so you figured they wouldn't go ratting you out to anyone that mattered.

And, well, to be completely honest, seeing Kyoutani decked out in piercings and leather was slowly but surely becoming your favorite pastime. It had caught you off guard the first few times, but once you'd ended up hanging around with him a bit, you found it stranger to see him without them.

"You done eyefucking me yet?" You choked on your drink, not even realizing that you'd spaced out admiring the way his grey t-shirt hugged his body until he spoke; Yahabas howling laughter earned him a swift kick to the shins.

---

"Oh shit." You couldn't help but mutter when you realized exactly what kind of party you'd let yourself get dragged to. You weren't a fang banger by any means, so finding yourself in the midst of what was clearly going to be an uncomfortable experience for you had you eyeing the exit.

"Don't be like that!" Your friend huffed, handing you a beer that you started chugging immediately. Liquid courage was definitely needed for this adventure.

"You don’t have to let anyone bite you, so don't be such a prude." Sputtering, you glared at the grinning girl as she promptly ditched you to get her fix, feeling awkward at a party for the first time in forever. You liked to have fun, not risk your damn life; finishing off your drink, you gave the exit another longing look.

But you couldn't just leave her here alone.

"Y/N?" You'd recognize that growl anywhere; against what was probably your better judgment, you relaxed.

"Oh, hey, Kenta." He seemed shocked to see you, and you couldn't blame him.

"What are you doing here?" Being on the receiving end of his glare still gave you that weird deer-in-headlights feeling, so you pointed at where your companion for the evening was currently straddling a man who must have been twice her age -- and that was by looks alone -- with a pair of fangs buried in her neck. He followed your gesture and his eyes narrowed further as he tsked.

"Didn't ask enough questions," You tried to joke, rubbing the back of your neck. "So now I'm babysitting, I guess."

"Like fuck." Kyoutani spat, and your eyes widened when he grabbed your wrist and hauled you along behind him.

"Wait, seriously, I can't just leave her--"

"Y/N?" Yahaba garnered your attention from a nearby couch and you tried to mask the way you blanched at the blood coating his lips. You must not have done a good job, though, because Kyoutani growled and the other boy quickly licked the residue away, looking almost apologetic as the girl in his lap pouted.

"I'm getting her out of here." Kyoutani supplied and the two of you received a two finger salute before he tugged the girls shirt aside and bit into her shoulder.

"It doesn't hurt." The mutter was meant to reassure you, but you couldn't see how that shit wouldn't be painful.

---

"So, uh," You had to admit, it was way more comfortable sitting on a park bench sipping on a water bottle than at that party. "Are you a--?"

"Obviously. Do I look like a fang banger to you?" Kyoutani actually laughed, giving you a toothy grin that revealed elongated canines; you wondered why you'd never noticed before.

"Right, silly question." You forced a small smile before taking another drink, willing yourself not to ask anything else.

"It… doesn't hurt?" Fuck.

"Nah. There's a pinch, but it's… fine after that."

"Just fine?" Silently, you were berating yourself for the curiosity as his golden eyes met yours.

"Give me your wrist." He sighed after a long moment and you shocked both of you by obeying immediately.

Slowly, Kyoutani pushed your sleeve up, gauging your reaction. When you didn't pull away, he pressed a soft kiss to the inside of your wrist before licking you; his soft chuckle when you squeaked in surprise made your heart flutter.

And then he bit you.

Releasing a soft huff at the initial pain, you nearly ripped yourself out of his loose grip-- but then you felt it.

"Oh." Your water bottle dropped to the ground as you instinctively squirmed closer to the boy; dropping your forehead against his shoulder. After an approving moan clawed free of your throat, he pulled away and you could have cried.

"C'mere." You scrambled to obey as he tugged you into his lap, limbs shaking as he nuzzled at your neck.

"The first time's the hardest." His whisper in your ear had your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

"Aphrodisiac." You choked out and he chuckled, licking at your neck.

"Kenta--" Whining, you tried to resist the urge to grind yourself against his thigh, instead focusing on the soothing caress of his hands against your back.

"Wanna see something cool?" Kyoutani was just about purring; when you nodded, gripping his leather jacket tightly, he pressed a kiss to your neck. Followed by another bite that had your legs trying to close, thighs shaking as the little coil that had formed inside you snapped.

You muffled your wail against his shoulder and he groaned, biting down harder; the sensation went straight to your core. His name came out garbled as you squirmed in his arms, rocking your hips so that you were grinding against him.

"Shh, pretty girl." He laughed as he pulled away, licking up the few droplets he'd missed.

"Oh my God." You whimpered, shaking from the power of your orgasm, toes still curled as you panted into his chest.

"See? Doesn't hurt at all." Kyoutani teased and you let out a breathless laugh, clinging to him.

[yoddream]

(this is for the fem bisexual readers)

It had been a while since your last pride parade. Between work and the pandemic, you haven’t been able to go the past few years. This year, however, you were going with your friends. You were so excited, but a part of you was a little upset that you would spend it without a partner. You want to enjoy the parade like your friends would, but instead you would be third-wheeling once again. You loved them dearly, but sometimes it felt extra lonely. Unfortunately, this was one of those times.

“C’mon, I wanna get the perfect spot!” your best friend, Melanie, said as she dragged her partner, Brandon, through the crowd. You were trying to keep up, but she was so fast.

“Hey, wait up!” you called out.

Neither of them seemed to hear you though. It didn’t take long for you to find yourself lost in the crowd in a city you didn’t know. Frowning, you couldn’t help but feel sad. It was also the first pride parade you would be attending since getting kicked out. Your parents weren’t as accepting as your friends were, and you’d been living with them since. You really wanted to spend it with them to make up for the feeling of being disowned by your own family.

Feeling determined, you started to make your way through the crowd. You wouldn’t let an accident ruin your day. You did your best to make sure you didn’t hurt anyone as you weaved your way through the people standing on the sidewalk. Suddenly, an arm was thrown out and you were fit in the face. You cried out in pain and clutched at your jaw while you heard someone apologize profusely.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry! I should’ve been way more careful,” a deep voice exclaimed.

“It’s fine, it was an—accident…” you trailed off as you met eyes with probably the most gorgeous person you’ve ever met.

He was tall, with a navy blue haircut that seemed to be a mix of a mohawk and a mullet. There were lines shaved into the sides of his head. He was wearing a tank top that showed his impressive muscles and broad shoulders. He had on light eye makeup that gave him that extra oomph of attractiveness, despite his wide eyes as he stared at you in shock.

“…Hi,” he said breathily.

“Hi. I’m Y/N,” you replied, holding your free hand out.

“I’m Jeno. My pronouns are he/him/his,” he introduced, shaking your hand.

“Mine are she/they. I’m sorry, you’re just really beautiful and it’s making me nervous.” You couldn’t help but chuckle at yourself, but then you winced as your face throbbed.

“Oh shit. Jaem, do you have any cold water bottles?” Jeno called out.

Suddenly, another attractive person popped out of nowhere and handed one to Jeno, who gently pressed it against your skin. “Geez, Jen, did you punch them or something?”

“No, Yeri tickled me and I squirmed. I accidentally hit her in the face as she was walking by,” Jeno explained. “Y/N, this is my best friend, Jaemin. He/they.”

“Oh cool, you’re bisexual too!” Jaemin exclaimed, looking at your shirt.

“You too?”

“Nah, I’m demi, but Jeno here’s also bisexual.”

Jeno smiled. “Are you here alone?”

“No, I came here with my friends but I lost them,” you explained.

“Do you want help looking for them? Or you can hang with us, if you want. I promise we’re good people,” Jaemin assured you.

You couldn’t help but grin. “As long as that’s okay with you guys.”

“Of course! The parade is always fun, but spending it with other people just hits different.”

“And if you make new friends, that’s even better,” Jeno added.

You followed the two of them to a group of people that’s ere standing nearby. They all seemed really nice and didn’t mind the extra person, which you were thankful for. Jeno explained that a few of their friends were marching in the parade with the dance crew they were a part of, and that’s part of the reason why there were so many of his friends there. It was sweet to hear about how Taeyong started the group to help kids in the community feel like they belong while also doing something they love.

The parade started not long after, and you cheered with Jeno and Jaemin as they floats moved along. Jeno caught a keychain that was tossed and handed it to you with a smile, and you couldn’t help but stare in awe at how his eyes disappeared and made him look adorable. How could someone be attractive and cute at the same time?

“Look, there’s the dance crew!” he shouted, pointing to the street.

“Go Jisung!” Jaemin shouted.

You watched as the float drove by, with a few people dancing while the rest waved. Jeno told you that the tallest one dancing was their friend, Jisung, who Jaemin treated like their own child. The kid was extremely talented, and they seemed to be having a blast.

More things were thrown into the crowd, and at one point a drag queen wrapped her feather boa around Jeno’s neck before him in with it to kiss his cheek. You couldn’t help but laugh at the blush that adorned his face, the lipstick print a bright blue against his red skin. In retaliation, he took the red lipstick that was randomly thrown into the crowd, put it on, and kissed your own cheek.

“There, now we match,” he stated.

You couldn’t help but gape at him as he grinned smugly, the lipstick stretched across his lips messily. Without even thinking, you grabbed him by the back of his neck and pressed your lips together before pulling back and throwing out apologies.

“I’m sorry! I should’ve asked you first. Oh my god, we don’t even know each other and I just did that, what the hell is–?”

“Y/N.” When you looked at Jeno, he smiled. “Kiss me again.”

You pulled him in for another kiss, and his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close as your lips moved together sloppily before finding a good rhythm. When he pulled away, you couldn’t help but snort.

“Oh my god, the lipstick,” you said with a giggle.

Jeno couldn’t help but laugh as well as he looked at the red stains on and around your mouth. In the end, you had a blast at the parade. You made a lot of new friends, got their phone numbers, and assured Melanie and Brandon that you weren’t mad about them accidentally leaving you behind. Jeno took you on dates the next few weeks, and then he proceeded to move your things into the spare bedroom in his apartment once he found out about your living situation, even though you spent the night in his bed most nights.

(this was so rushed but i wanted to get it out quickly and i will die on the hill of jeno being bisexual in another universe. happy pride everyone!!! love, a bisexual writing out their dream)

[moodymelanist]

POV : THE GIRLS GETTING DRUNK AND GETTING THE BAT BOYS' AND MORRIGAN'S TATTOO ON THEIR... well Nesta might get it on her boob, emerie on her thigh and Gwyn on her stomach. Feyre would probably get it on the bottom of her foot for some reason.

OR

THe other way around. I don't mind....

okay imma go with Cassian getting Nesta’s name tatted because he’s the most likely to do something like that 😭😭😭

Nesta was only ten pages from the end of her book when Rhys and Azriel called her in a state of panic.

“Nesta you have to get down here right now,” Azriel said. She’d never heard her friend so alarmed and immediately sat up from where she’d been lounging on her bed.

“Why? What’s wrong?” she asked. Worst case scenarios raced through her mind — Cassian getting lost, Cassian seriously injured, Cassian dead.

“Cassian is doing something really fucking stupid,” Rhys said, his voice slurred.

Nesta took a deep breath in a feeble attempt to calm herself down. “Cassian does a lot of stupid things.”

“Yeah, but this one is really stupid,” Rhys insisted.

The last time Nesta had seen her boyfriend had been several hours ago. He’d gone out to celebrate being done with the school year with his friends, and had promised her that he wouldn’t do anything exceptionally stupid. She loved the man to pieces, but a part of her had known there was no way he would stick to that promise.

“Just tell me what he’s doing,” she said. “And why aren’t the two of you stopping him?”

“Because we’re drunk too,” Azriel replied. He let out a little snicker and Nesta sighed as she mentally added calling Gwyn to her to-do list. “Just come down here. You’ll see.”

Twenty minutes later, Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn found themselves outside of what looked like a tattoo parlor. Emerie had insisted on tagging along, claiming she wanted to see the spectacle for herself, and Nesta was glad she had both of her best friends by her side. The three of them exchanged worried glances as they walked up to the door and Nesta knocked hard on the glass. She wasn’t sure how reputable a tattoo parlor open after midnight was, but whatever was going on, she hoped the answers would be found here.

A gorgeous blonde woman came to the front, looking the three of them over before she opened the door. “Is one of you Nesta?”

“Whatever he did, I’ll pay for it,” Nesta said, sighing.

“There’s nothing for you to pay for, but you have one hell of a boyfriend. He wouldn’t shut up about you,” the other woman said. She diverted her attention to Emerie, who Nesta knew was already staring, and smirked. “And I’m really hoping you don’t have one hell of a girlfriend.”

“No girlfriend,” Emerie replied. Gwyn let out a little laugh before the three of them walked inside Velaris Tattoos, going up a set of stairs before they saw any familiar faces.

Rhys was dozing on Azriel’s shoulder but immediately perked up when he saw Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn approaching. “You came!”

“Of course I did,” Nesta said. She looked around but didn’t see her boyfriend anywhere and her nerves returned in waves. “Where’s Cassian?”

“I’m back here, Nes!” he called out loudly. She followed the sound of his voice and saw him examining his right hand in the mirror above a sink. He turned to her with a wide grin and open arms and she couldn’t help but fall right into them.

“You’re not allowed to freak me out like that ever again,” she said, her voice muffled against his shirt. “I thought something was wrong with you!”

“Sorry,” he replied, his voice a little slurred. “I didn’t tell them to call you.”

“That’s your excuse?” Nesta looked up at him in disbelief. “What the hell are we even doing in a tattoo parlor, anyway? I thought I told you not to do anything stupid!”

“You said not to do anything exceptionally stupid,” Cassian pointed out. “But my love for you isn’t stupid.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, confused.

“I love you, Nesta Archeron,” he exclaimed. His voice boomed through the tattoo parlor and she fought the urge to call out an apology. “My love for you is never ending and officially permanent.”

She stared in disbelief as he flipped her off. “What the fuck did you do?”

“Look at my finger,” he insisted. She studied his hand and realized his middle finger was redder than normal and then she was reading her own name tattooed delicately across his skin.

“Oh my God,” she said, completely shocked. “Cassian.”

“What?” he asked. His smile shrank as he realized she wasn’t saying anything. “Do you not like it?”

“It’s not about whether I like it,” she hissed. She couldn’t believe he’d gotten her name on him permanently — what if he’d jinxed their relationship? “It’s just… permanent.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said. “That’s why I got it.”

“But what if we break up? What if you just jinxed us? What if—”

Cassian cupped his face in his hands, his callouses gently rubbing against her cheeks. “Sweetheart. I already told you I’m not going anywhere.”

“But you don’t know that,” Nesta insisted.

“Yeah, I do,” he said confidently. “I knew you were the woman for me the moment I met you. One of these days I’m going to make you my wife. Mark my words.”

“You’re just drunk,” she said, even though she was fighting a blush. He was so sweet without even trying and she loved that about him, almost as much as she wanted to throttle him for getting her name tattooed on him.

“You’re not marking my words,” he said. He gave her a stern look, but the effect was lost considering that he smelled like tequila. “And even if we break up — which we won’t — I think having your name on my middle finger will add that extra oomph when I tell people to fuck off.”

Nesta couldn’t help but laugh at his drunk logic, which made Cassian’s smile return in full force.

“God, you’re an idiot,” she said, smiling. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that he’d gotten her name on his skin. She’d always been worried that he’d find someone better than her, but he clearly believed he wasn’t going anywhere. Maybe it was time for her to actually believe it, too.

“Yeah,” he agreed. Her heart swelled as he leaned in to press a kiss to her nose. “But I’m your idiot.”

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Selfish Part 3

Pairings | Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x f!reader (kind of?)

Warnings | smut, vaginal sex, swearing

Word count | 1798

Summary | Steve's selfish choice brings Bucky and y/n much closer

Part one | part two

Masterlist

Y/n hummed, her hands working nimbly as she folded up the last of Bucky's t-shirts. She lifted the pile of clothes and placed them onto the bed, somewhere she knew Bucky would find them to put them away himself.

"Y/n?" His unusually chipper voice sounded from behind the girl.

"Yeah, Bucky?" Y/n sighed, turning around with her hands on her hips to face Bucky, who had his pleading face on. It had been nearly three months since the first night Bucky stayed with her, and they hadn't slept in different beds since.

Bucky and y/n had taken to running the compound until the remaining members of the team decided what they were going to do with it. So far, they'd cleaned the place top-to-bottom almost weekly and Bucky had even learnt to cook.

"Can you cut my hair?" Bucky's voice was soft, his eyes alight with hope. Y/n scoffed.

"You trust me to do it?" She frowned, reaching up and ruffling the man's shoulder-length locks, that were still wet from his shower. Bucky chuckled and y/n faltered for a second, before her small smile was resumed. It was a sound that she'd seldom heard since the incident with Steve, and it still caught her off guard every time it happened.

Fuck, Steve. Y/n didn't quite know how she should feel about him. Angry? Sad? Guilty for holding him back? Hurt? Betrayed? She shook off the thoughts quickly and refocused on Bucky, who was now stood in front of her with scissors outstretched from his hand.

Y/n scoffed, rolling her eyes before snatching the metal from him and making her way into their bathroom. Well, it was Bucky's bathroom, but as they shared his room now, she liked to call it theirs. She used to share a room with Steve, and going back into it was too painful for her after she found out what he did.

Y/n pulled out the stool that Bucky usually sat on whilst shaving - the man was secretly such a drama queen and straight up refused to stand long enough to shave - and Bucky follow closely behind her. He got comfy on the stood, his cerulean eyes piercing y/n's through the slightly foggy mirror. 

"Okay, Bucky. If I mess this up, it's on you." Y/n sighed, running her fingers through his hair whilst deciding where to start. Y/n cursed herself, the girl finding it increasingly harder to not admire the super soldier she was living with. Sure, she always knew that he was attractive - she wasn't blind. But y/n hadn't ever taken a second look at his personality and hadn't needed to, either; she'd always thought Steve would be it for her.

But now, after him taking care of her for months, y/n was starting to fall more and more. She wanted to hate herself for it, she really did. But she couldn't. Steve had done much worse, so why should she feel guilty about harbouring a small crush on his best friend? It's not like he was coming back, anyway.

"There we go, all done." Y/n announced, placing the scissors on the counter with a clang before fluffing his much shorter hair with her fingers. Bucky smiled at her through the mirror as she tilted his head from side to side so he could get a look.

"It's not bad." The soldier smirked, reaching up and carding his own fingers through the pillowy brown locks.

"Not bad? I think it's a damn masterpiece, Barnes." Y/n retorted and Bucky couldn't help his grin. He loved seeing her like this - carefree and happy again. Bucky would never forgive Steve for what he did to her. The resentment he felt towards his former best friend only grew as his feelings for y/n did, too. He'd always felt an attraction to y/n; she had a warm smile, a great sense of humour, was extremely smart and not even to mention incredibly beautiful.

"You're right, doll. I'm sorry." Bucky admitted, turning around and standing up before her. Y/n took a shaky breath, suddenly much too close to Bucky for what could be considered friendly. Bucky breathed out, slow and controlled as his hand raises to cup y/n's cheek.

"Do you like it?" Y/n whispered, eyes unable to leave Bucky's as she ran her fingers through his now much shorter, fluffy locks. Bucky nodded, his head dipping down to meet y/n's lips in a kiss.

Y/n moaned against his mouth, fingers tangling into Bucky's hair as his metal arm slipped around her waist. He pulled her flush against him, their hips starting to grind slightly as the kiss became more and more heated.

"Is this okay?" Bucky mumbled against her lips as he walked her backwards, y/n making a little oomph sound as her back collided with the bathroom wall. She nodded before quickly returning her lips to his, hands trailing over his body until they reached the hem of his shirt.

After she gave it a little tug, Bucky got the idea. He pulled away long enough to get the shirt over his head before his lips were latching onto y/n's jaw. He began to kiss down y/n's body, his lips barely dancing over her navel before y/n was pulling Bucky back up to face her.

"We can do that later, I just need you inside me." Bucky nodded, hands grasping at her shirt until it was torn over her head. He hastily unbuttoned her jeans, y/n kicking them off once they were far enough down her legs. She toed her socks off whilst fumbling with Bucky's belt, pulling the leather from its loops before letting his jeans and boxers pool at his feet.

Stepping out of them, Bucky finally discarded the last of y/n clothes before hooking his hands under her thighs. Y/n let out a short, high squeal as he lifted her from the ground, his hips pinning her to the wall as he braced a hand next to her head.

Bucky moaned when his tip ran through her wetness, hand wrapping around his length as he lined himself up with y/n's core. Bucky leant in, pecking y/n's lips once, twice, three times.

"Ready?" He mumbled and y/n moaned his name when he sheathed himself inside of her in one, slow thrust.

"Fuck, Bucky!" Y/n moaned, head dropping forward to rest on Bucky's shoulder as he let his thumb rest on her clit, teasing circles rubbed over it making the coil in y/n’s stomach tighten already, blue eyes now turned black as he looked into hers.

"I want you to come around my cock, pretty girl." He murmured, lips at her ear as he slowly pulled out to the top, cock dragging deliciously against her walls. Y/n's hands clung to his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin only spurring Bucky on as his pace became slow but strong, knocking the air out of y/n's lungs with every thrust.

Y/n's fingers traced over the scars littering his shoulder, before clinging to the cool metal and moaning out at the contrast of cold against her flushed and hot skin.

"Good girl." Bucky moaned, the praise sending an unexpected wave of wetness tumbling down to y/n's core, his cock pushing in and out of her almost effortlessly now with how wet she'd become.

"I'm gonna come so hard, doll.." He mumbled into the skin of her neck, dropping his head to nip and suck at y/n's jaw line. Y/n knew there'd be marks there tomorrow, but she couldn't care less in that moment as her walls began to clamp down on him in a vice grip.

"C'mon, cum for me. I can feel how close you are." Bucky moaned and y/n's mouth dropped open into a silent scream against his flesh shoulder, eyes rolling back into her skull. Bucky's pace picked up as he tried to push y/n to her release before he hit his.

When y/n came it was a sudden, the coil snapping and opening the flood gates. Y/n's hips were bucking, stomach tight and legs shaking around Bucky's waist.

"There we go, good girl." Bucky groaned, chasing his own release now. "Shit, y/n." He moaned, stilling his hips as a final thrust sent him over the edge, cumming in y/n in hot spurts.

Their heavy breaths mingled, the smell of sex filling the bathroom as y/n panted against Bucky's shoulder; his own breaths were laboured.

It was a few hours later that y/n found herself in a familiar place - tangled up in Bucky's sheets while the super soldier laid beside her. The only differences now were that they were both still naked, and y/n was practically sprawled over the super soldier's chest.

She was humming, fingers tracing little circles over his bare chest as Bucky's soothing hand ran over her thigh.

"This wasn't just...a one time thing, was it?" Y/n was almost stunned with how weak Bucky's voice sounded, as if he was scared her answer would be wrong.

"I don't want it to be. I want you, Bucky. If you'll have me, that is." She grinned, lip tucked between her teeth as she stared at the soldier. Bucky couldn't contain his own smile as he gazed lovingly at her, his knuckles caressing her cheekbone softly.

"Of course I want you. I just didn't know if it would be..."

"Awkward? Appropriate? Look, I know you and  Steve were close, inseparably so, but don't worry about me and him. He hurt us, remember. If he's happy, we deserve to be too." Y/n murmured, eyes twinkling as she took in Bucky's face.

"Are you? Happy, I mean." Bucky asked. She leant forwards, placing a small peck to his lips, before doing it again and again. She giggled between each kiss, hands now flat on Bucky's chest as he squeezed her thigh gently.

"I'm happy." She mumbled between kisses, "are you?"

"As happy as I've ever been. Now come here and let me kiss you properly." Bucky whispers against her lips, his hand curling around the back of her neck before his lips were pressed to hers in a passionate kiss.

It was then that Bucky realised that he'd made a selfish choice. And he didn't regret it one bit.

Because Bucky Barnes was a selfish man.

Taglists

Bucky Barnes One-shots, Drabbles and Headcannons | @buckysgirl101 @quxxnxfhxll @anakinsslag @macylawz @zaphdekota @ihavemajordaddyissues @theoldermanswhore @addriaenne @thegirlwiththeimpala @turkish276 @lilpopizzle @gooseyhouse @ohmy-fandoms @harrysthiccthighss @partiesandblurrypolaroids @prettysbliss @the-surviving-revolutionist @white-wolf1940 @dpaccione @tenaciousperfectionunknown @loveyou5everr

Join my taglist now!

If your name is crossed out, it means I couldn’t tag you!

[slutsofren]

Danger Days Chapter 9: Give ‘em Hell Kid

summary: after taking care of the stragglers, you make way to find Ellie amidst of all the chaos that follows her and you come face to face with a blast from the past

word count: 2,754 im gonna make up for all these short chapters i swear!!

content warnings: blood mention (i mean c'mon y'all know exactly what this fic is), animal death, somebody gets murdered a bit violently

notes: just wanna say a little thank you for all the recent influx of subs/bookmarks/comments/kudos/follows on here and on ao3, y'all warm my heart. also, the next few chapters will deviate from the tlou timeline to make way for some angst :^))))

read on ao3 here / masterlist

Your lungs were burning with each breath. Huffs escaped you. Aches filtered through your body. Running, chasing, fighting. Ellie was in deep shit and you prayed she was alright. Following after her path, you tracked your girl.

It didn’t take much to figure out which way Ellie went, between the very obvious messy shoe prints of the men chasing after her and the hoof-marks. It made finding her all that much easier. You trekked through the slosh of the muddied snow until you came across a striking stain of red. Your steps faltered and you took the sight in, the sight of blood in between all the white and brown that overlooked a small cliff. Stopping dead in your tracks, your breath hitched as you peered over.

A gasp in horror escaped you when you saw the lifeless body of dear Callus. Quickly jumping, you dropped from the ledge he was under and landed on your knees with a harsh ‘oomph’. The pain tingled up to your spine.

Scrambling up to check on Callus, looking for any sign Ellie was hurt only to find none. You brushed the dark hair on the horse, “I’m sorry Callus.” Mentally sending an apology to Cherry too. She was going to be sad when she hears but if anything, she’d take the apology in exacting revenge on his murderers.

Kneeling on the cold ground, you sent a silent wish to the stars, wishing that Callus will be taken care off wherever he is, noting how he was such a good horse, how he will be greatly missed but was certainly loved. He may have been just a horse, but even then, horses were smart and sentient. He knew.

Just as you finished your well-wishes, the horror quickly engulfed your mind. The worry grew for just a moment as you continued on the path, leaving the dear horse behind until you stumbled upon dead body after dead body, all leading in a patch down to a lake then to a little cabin, long since forgotten shops, and up the stairs to some sort of lakeside hotel, anger finally settling in your bones.

You found yourself following a trail of blood, gore, and footsteps, pride warming in your chest. That’s my girl, you silently praised. You drew a knife and a gun, as you approached what looked to be some lakeside market, too many hidey holes to walk through here confidently. Nevertheless, you marched on.

The path led you to an abandoned lodge overlooking the lake but no sign of Ellie, just more dead bodies of those bastards.

It would have been a beautiful sight long ago, in the time before. Now it was an empty and hollow shell of its former self, littered with gore.

Even shuffling as quickly as you could through the main hall of the resort yielded nothing to finding your dear young companion, not as the sun was really setting low. Had that much time passed, you thought worriedly.

You kicked an overturned table and groaned loudly, not giving a shit if somebody heard you. Letting yourself be mad for just a moment before taking a deep breath and exhaling. At this point, you weren’t sure if you’d want to move stealthy, try and make as much noise as possible just to take some of the heat off your girl.

Frustrated still, you left the resort and circled outside to locate another set of footsteps, likely of them chasing after her. It looked almost as if there was a small fucking army chasing her but still, you didn’t spot anybody. Much to your chagrin.

Taking off once more, you cursed as the visibility lowered. The snow was progressively picking up all around you causing some of the footsteps to slowly disappear.

It was swirling around in a thick blanket in the air, covering the footsteps you had been following. It felt like you were running against the clock and you took off running, focused on the remaining trail until you heard it.

Loud and metallic. A bell. Faint but there. A city center with a tolling bell possibly?

You didn't think twice about changing your direction and moving faster through the storm.

Motivated even more so, you continued on this path, following the chime until you came into view of a cheap haphazardly thrown together defense wall. Ducking behind a nearby structure, you looked on, assessing it as best you could with the little visibility you had.

Faintly, you could make out concrete walls with some barbaric barbed wire thrown lazily against it, many many weaknesses here and there. Most importantly, you noticed there was nobody manning the walls.

You ran and ducked every so often, listening for voices but finding none. Instead, you followed the bloodied trail Ellie left behind her. It was almost like a taunt to the others in this community, or maybe even a gumdrop-like trail for you, screaming ‘come find me’. Whatever it was, only a mark of design by the tough kid wanting nothing but to simply stay alive.

Pocketing your weapons, you took a few steps back then ran.

It was almost too easy to just jump the fence but you did, after hesitating ever so slightly. Your breaths were now heavy huffs, your lungs were cursing you to stop but you refused to, not when Ellie was in danger.

Then, arming yourself with your knives you tried to make your way through the town as stealthy as possible. Only taking out whoever was in your path but aiming not to make a spectacle before you could locate Ellie within this town.

Every time you took down one of those gruesome bastards, you didn’t dare to stop and search them. Your only goal was to find Ellie. You could hear the men talking about her and how she got away, sparking pride within you once more as you took off, following the chaos she left in her wake. Noting how some of the bodies were still warm, their leaked blood still sticky.

Turning the corner of a mechanics garage, a loud thunderous snap echoed through the area. 

Startled, you pulled back into a crouch and watched as a large fire erupted in the distance. That spark of hope igniting as bright as the fire, signaling Ellie fighting back like hell. 

“Shit,” you sighed trying to catch your breath. You rose to your feet and took off faster now, headed towards the explosion.

Off through the thick sheet of snow, you could faintly make out a large sign above a dinner, displaying the name Todd’s across it. You could hear somebody yelling from inside and aimed for it, the fire barely catching your attention.

Time was running against you, as it always did. The fire grew hotter, the building more dangerous. These were the least of your worries.

You were beyond frustrated as you circled the building, aside from the very obvious and intentional door being lit on fire that was growing at a rapid pace, there were no other entrances you could see aside from a dozen unbroken windows. 

It took a couple tries to find an entrance that was viable, feeling like you were running out of time as the male voice from inside grew louder, as you could hear bullets fly just as the man was yelling. Thankfully you did find a cracked window.

Judging by the amount of noise already happening inside and assessing the risk, you figured breaking it wouldn’t alert anybody so you did just that and crawled through, doing your best not to scrape your knees.

Gaining your footing, you looked around and saw you were in some sort of kitchen for the diner. There were large stainless steel surfaces, looking moderately clean. That’s not what got your attention, but the screaming match happening in the dining area.

It took you a minute but you got close to the ground, snapping to the corner as to not give away your position, not as you saw a large man with a beard towering over a small figure- Ellie.

Your brows furrowed in anger as you ran, planning on tackling this man but he was knocked over to the side as Ellie wacked at him endlessly with a machete, hacking him to death. Overkill.

One, two, three. Each swing she grew more and more violent,

Yelling for her to stop, she continued her attack, until you grabbed her against her back, holding her close to stop her. She tried to fight against you, almost throwing you to the ground. “I got you, sweetheart, I got you.” Petting her hair, trying to calm her down, she recognized your voice and she slumped in your arms.

You were exhausted, the adrenaline slowly leaving your blood gave way to the roaring pain in your lungs and muscles. Surely you’d be sore for the coming days. Even so, the pain would have been nothing next to losing either Joel or Ellie.

The two of you stayed like that, holed up in a grimey embrace for a few moments. You repeatedly ran your fingers through her tangled up brown hair as she hiccupped the last of her sobs into your coat. The only sounds permeating the moment were of Ellie and the fire.

Fuck. The fire.

Just as you realized the predicament the two of you were in, the blackened smoke scratched and irritated your eyes, throat, and lungs. It was suffocating you and doing worse to Ellie,

If it weren’t for the raging blaze that was spreading, you would have left much sooner. “Sweetheart, I think it’s time to go.”

Ellie didn’t respond and you were about to repeat yourself until you heard heavy footfalls behind you. Moving the distraught and distracted teen slightly, you drew one of your guns and aimed, about to shoot but were stopped when you took notice of just who was standing there, palms up in defense.

Joel.

Joel was alive, right there.

Ellie recognized him before you could even register what was happening. She jumped out of your arms into his, babbling about David and crying once more. He calmed her, mumbling “Oh, baby girl… It’s okay, it’s okay.”

You watched from the floor as he tried to wipe the blood from her tear stained cheeks, barely keeping your own shit together.

“C’mon,” he said, not looking at you, “let’s get outta here.”

You rose from your haunches, swaying just a little at the inner emotional whirlwind you were facing mixed on top of the physical toll you were feeling. You watched as Joel put his arm around Ellie, walking her out the way he came in. Both of them were limping slightly. Following the two of them, you kicked the dead man just once as Joel led you both out of the burning building to your horse, Whiskey.

He turned around to say something but cut himself off, taking in the sight of you. “Shit, Are you okay?”

You followed his gaze to where your clothes were coated in a disastrous mixture of blood, dirt, and stars know what else. “It’s not mine.”

He looked like he wanted to look you over but he focused on Ellie instead, giving her a helping hand onto the horse. Joel gestured for you to get on behind her but you shook him off, “No. I’ll meet you back at the house.”

“If you don’t get on the goddamned-,” he began to argue but you shut him down.

“I’m not going to fuckin’ argue with you right now.” You checked over your horse, noticing how Joel didn’t bring anything then approached Ellie, “Hey, sweetheart. Think you can handle leading Whiskey and Joel back to the house?”

She wiped away her tears and nodded, “I think so.”

“Good. I’ll see you there soon.”

Joel opened his mouth to counter you but you stood up to him, on your toes. You had grabbed his jacket and pulled him close, getting in his face. “You take our girl back to the fuckin’ house and you make sure neither you nor her go off the rails or so help me, I will finish what that rebar started and end you. Got it?”

You were tired, you were angry, you were relieved. But most of all, you were pissed the fuck off. Not necessarily at him but at, well, at everything. Being this troupe’s sole caretaker for the past few weeks was taking its toll.

Just as you got into his face, he got into yours. At only a hair's breadth away he threatened you all the same, “You do not get to be angry with me, you do not get to push me around, got it?”

His brown eyes bore into yours, you could see he was more exhausted than anything but you were not going to let him be the judge of what happens next. “Fuck you, Joel Miller. We saved your life, hell, I saved your life. You owe me. Now you’re going to get on that fucking horse with Ellie and you are going to the safe house and we are leaving this goddamned shithole. Together. In one piece.”

“Please, Joel, let’s get out of here,” Ellie’s weak voice interrupted. 

The near-dyin’ old bastard opened his mouth to counter you again but decided against it. Most likely for Ellie’s sake.

Joel leans close to you and whispers a threat in your ear, “If you’re not back by nightfall, we’ll leave without you.”

“I don’t doubt it,” you snap.

He takes a half step back, his tired brown eyes meeting yours. For a flash you think he wants to apologize but he doesn’t, his pride wouldn’t let him anyways. This was the game the two of you have played all these months. This push-and-pull bullshit. It was tiresome in situations like these, the dire need of survival, but during those blissful moments of reprieve, it brought you joy.

Joel’s heavy footfalls penetrated the tense air even as he saddled up in front of Ellie. He calls your name and in his roundabout way, bargains with you. “Come back alive.”

Before you could even answer or reply, he’s off with a huff. Ellie strapped closely behind him.

Watching them go, you ducked and retraced your steps in the heavy and blinding snow. The storm hadn’t let up and likely wouldn’t any time soon. It worked well into your favor for now.

The journey back wasn’t as arduous or as dramatic as the way forward but you made it back to the safe house without incident. The whole time your mind juggled between the mixed emotions of Joel. Gratitude he was alive, joy that he was walking and talking, anger that he was walking and talking and not resting.

There was just a lot happening all at once. It’s why you wanted to be alone for the time being. Too many emotions swirled in you, too many thoughts, too much of everything. The bitter cold nipping at your fingertips helped, kept you grounded.

At least until you heard the low grumbling of Joel coaxing Ellie back to the land of the living, much as you both did the same to him these past few weeks. His voice trailed up the basement and didn’t stop as your steps echoed through the stairwell. 

When you stopped at the final landing did you look up. He was holding her close as she cried, she still hadn’t stopped. His hands, bruised and bloodied from stars know what, coaxed themselves through her messy hair. The sight of them both covered in other people’s blood hurt you in ways that no wound could ever compare to.

He was whispering nothings to her, praises for her fighting, echoing words of ‘shh, it’s okay’, repeatedly in a low soft voice. You came close to the two of them sitting on the lone mattress, “Hey, sweetheart, I’m back.”

Joel looked up at you again, looking over you. Taking in the sight of you now. He gave you a tense nod as Ellie reached around for your hand and squeezed it. Once she let you go you brushed her hair from her face and slowly stood.

“I’m going to pack up everything and we’re going to leave here, put this shit behind us.”

The two of them said nothing but Joel caught your eye and silently, you both came to an agreement. Whatever bullshit you two had, when it came to Ellie, she came first.

Isn’t that what family is for?

[hellimagines]

It’s Not Your Fault -- JJ Maybank

Masterlist

Summary: For the past three weeks you’ve noticed your boyfriend beginning to pull away from you without any explanation or clear reason. After voicing your concerns to him, JJ breaks down and confesses to you about his delivery trips to the Cameron House. 

Warnings: angst, hurt with lots of comfort, male sexual assault, victim denial of sexual assault, grooming

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: It took me a while to post this, but after all the thought, emotion, and personal experience I poured into this, I’m finally satisfied enough to publish it. Please heed the warnings since I know this sort of content can be triggering for some. *Edit* The formatting and tagging got messed up, so I’m sorry if this doesn’t show in certain tags or if it shows up multipule times.

When JJ and Pope bounded down the bank to meet up with you, John B., and Kie at the HMS Pogue, you noticed JJ’s hair was messier than usual and his blue bandana was tied snuggly around his neck. His grin was dirty, cocky, and full of more tongue than teeth as he made his way onto the boat alongside Pope. The blond fell into the seat beside you, carelessly throwing his arm over your shoulders, yet keeping it rested on the edge of the boat so only his fingertips were brushing your exposed collarbone. Instantly, an unfamiliar smell hit you, causing you to crinkle your nose in confusion and disgust; instead of the familiar smell of weed, dirt, ocean spray, and JJ’s cheap cologne, you were met with an overwhelming citrus and floral scent. As you tilted your head up to get a better look at JJ, you realized that the corner of his lip was turned up just the slightest, an indicator that JJ’s grin was really just a mask. You nudged your shoulder against him, breaking him out of whatever manic-trance he was starting to slip into. The dirty grin dropped as he looked down at you and was replaced with a soft smile once he saw your scrunched up face. The hand dangling over your shoulder moved up to run calloused knuckles over your cheekbone, while something sad crept into JJ’s blue eyes.

“Kooks give you boys any trouble?” you questioned, speaking to both JJ and Pope yet keeping your eyes locked with the boy beside you. 

Pope shook his head, “Nah, not this time. It’s too early for their rich-asses to be awake, let alone stirring for trouble.” You looked over at Pope as he spoke, cataloging how he looked just as he did when the two boys left this morning. He also wasn’t paying any special attention to JJ as he typically did whenever he was trying to keep one of JJ’s secrets from the others.

“Yeah, they don’t know what it’s like to try and get all your work done before noon during the summers,” JJ scoffed before giving a piece of your hair a playful tug. You scowled and swatted at his hand, which only made JJ laugh.

“Well,” John B. began as he steered the boat away from the bank, “now that we’re all free for the rest of the day, let’s get this boat on the road.”

--

As soon as John B. had found a deep, calm patch of water to settle the HMS, he was kicking off his shoes and diving in head-first. Typically, JJ would’ve already been on the back of the boat ready to flip into the water, but today he had remained in his spot beside you as Kie and Pope followed JB. The Pogues didn’t pay you two any mind as they splashed around with one another, swimming a few feet away from the boat to give you and JJ some space. JJ’s finger twirled around a stray strand of your hair absentmindedly, while his gaze rested unfocused on a spot in front of him.

“Hey,” you hummed, giving him another nudge. His blue eyes blinked hastily at the movement, jerking to look down at you. “What happened this morning?”

“What makes you think something happened?” he asked defensively as his body stiffened and his finger ceased its movement. Your eyebrows furrowed but you didn’t comment on the sudden hostility, realizing that you had accidentally backed him into a corner. 

“You just don’t seem like you’re completely here, that’s all. You were okay when you left this morning, even though it was the crackass of dawn, and I just want to make sure that Topper didn’t fuck around with you or anything,” you said gently, shifting in your spot so you could place your head on top of the arm that JJ still had resting on the edge of the boat. Your (e/c) eyes looked into JJ’s blue ones, watching as a multitude of different emotions flashed in his eyes and a small frown slipped onto his face. 

He ran his thumb across the bottom of your jaw, offering you a pensive look as he did so. “Yeah, I’m okay, I just…” he sighed deeply, “just had a difficult delivery today, that’s all. I promise I wasn’t jumped by a Kook or anything like that. You don’t have to worry ‘bout me, baby.” He gave you a pained smile and cupped your jaw. “You know I love you, right? And that I would never do anything to hurt you?”

You were taken back by his question, pulling away slightly so you could stare at him in confusion. “Of course, and I love you, too. What brought that up?”

“Nothing,” JJ shrugged, trying to act nonchalant despite the flash of guilt he was unable to hide. “I just wanted to make sure you knew how much I love you.” He paused for a while, staring down at you while cupping your face in both of his hands. His thumbs rested over your cheekbones and his pinkies laid just below your ears while he looked down at you. His eyes were searching for something, you could tell by the way they flicked across your features, but you couldn’t tell what he was hoping to find. “I’m sore from this morning, think I’m gonna stay on the boat for a while. Stay with me?” he asked with a pout before pushing your cheeks together to force your lips into an amusing pucker. 

You couldn’t help but giggle at his antics while nodding your head, unable to say anything as he squished your cheeks some more. JJ’s smile brightened at your muffled giggles as you looked up at him adoringly. He continued to pull your cheeks in different directions, and you eventually had to reach out and tickle beneath his arms to get him to let you go. Both of you were laughing loudly at this point as JJ retaliated by pinching your sides and pulling you closer to him, but an unexpected ripple against the boat caused you to lose your balance. JJ used his body to soften your fall as the two of you toppled to the deck floor, proceeding to laugh even as JJ let out an exaggerated oomph at the impact. The melancholy from earlier was all but forgotten as you were cradled against his chest, continuing to tickle and wrestle one another on top of the boat.

--

Over the next three weeks JJ had grown jumpier, but he seemed more skittish around you than anyone else. He had taken on more deliveries with Pope than expected, now doing 4-5 deliveries a week rather than the typical 2 or 3. His cash flow had increased by nearly $300 a week and you couldn’t deny that the flowers and pastries JJ had started to bring you were nice. However, the materialistic increase couldn’t hide the emotional and intimate decrease you had felt from your boyfriend recently. In the year that you and JJ had been dating, and even in the years of friendship beforehand, he had always valued actions over gifts. He would even sometimes prefer talking about what he was feeling rather than handing you something that had cost money. So, as JJ’s touches against your skin and words whispered into your ear became non-existent and his gift-giving became unmanageable, you knew something was going on: something he clearly didn’t want to talk to you about.

After not hearing from JJ in two days and knowing he wouldn’t be opening up to you anytime soon, you made your way over to Pope’s place in order to hopefully get some answers. Mr. Hayward was the one to open the door when you knocked, offering you a smile as you gave him one of your own. “Hey there, Mr. Hayward, I really like your shirt.”

He looked down at his shirt in confusion before huffing a laugh. “Thank you, (Y/N), it’s date night,” he grinned, tugging at the cotton fabric of his blue button-up. You heard the distinct sound of heels clicking against the floor before Mrs. Hayward rounded the corner. She jumped slightly when she saw you, not expecting to see anyone at the door, and then she smiled with a soft laugh. 

“Hi, (Y/N)! How are you, sweetheart?” she asked, coming to stand beside the door as Mr. Hayward went to grab the car keys.

“I’m doing okay, just came by to see if Pope needed any help with his summer homework. I know his AP classes were stressing him out a bit, so I offered to go over one of his essays with him. How about you? Your dress is really pretty, by the way.” 

Mrs. Hayward smiled at your compliment, giving her dark-red dress a bashful glance. “It’s date night, and I’ve been waiting to pop this baby out of the closet for months,” she chuckled, her bashful smile now becoming one of pride. “Pope is right upstairs in his room and I’m sure he’ll be really happy with the help.” You nodded with a smile and headed up to Pope’s room after waving goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Hayward. 

“Pope! Your mom let me in!” you shouted up the stairs as a warning before walking into your best friend’s room. Pope lifted his head from his desk at your entrance and gave you a gleeful grin. “I promise I’ll help you with your essay, but first I need your help with something,” you stated when you saw him beginning to reach for his essay. 

“Yeah, ‘course. What’s going on?” 

You took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of his bed. “It’s about JJ, but you can’t tell him I said anything.” Pope nodded and gave you his apt attention. “Ever since his delivery with you a few weeks ago, he’s been acting a little weird. I don’t know if anyone else has noticed it, but I have and I’m worried. He’s been wearing his bandana more, he almost never takes his shirt off for swimming or anything else, he doesn’t talk to me anymore, doesn’t touch me, but he’s been spending money on me. I know it sounds like unimportant tiny things, but to JJ they’re not. I’m really worried, Pope, and I was wondering if you knew if something was going on?”

“Nu-uh, he hasn’t said anything to me,” Pope frowned. “But I know he’s been taking longer with his deliveries than he used to, yet he’s making more cash. Do you think he’s worn out?” You couldn’t help but scoff at Pope’s words and shake your head. “What do you think it is?”

“I have no idea and that’s the problem. It’s not his dad and I can’t imagine him being overworked with the amount of energy he has. I don’t know what to do or how to help him and it scares me.”

Pope fell silent for a while, staring down at the ground with a pensive expression. “Listen,” he began with a sigh, “I know this isn’t something you want to hear or think of, and I don’t even believe it myself. But… but maybe he’s been seeing-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Pope Hayward. Don’t you dare,” you seethed, eyeing him with a dangerous look. “He wouldn’t do that, he’s not-”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Pope chanted and held up his hands. “Why don’t you go talk to him? You’ve always been the best out of anyone when it comes to getting JJ to open up.” 

You mulled over Pope’s words for a few moments, before giving a reluctant nod. “Sounds like my only option at this point; I just need to get him alone with me for more than five minutes,” you grumbled bitterly. “Anyway, now that we’ve covered the I-miss-my-boyfriend unit, let’s go over your essay, yeah?”

--

The next day was JJ’s day off and more than likely one of the only times you’d be able to sit down and talk with him. It was almost 6:30 in the morning when you arrived at John B’s place and you smiled softly when you saw him and JJ in the ocean. You left your shoes by The Chateau before heading down to the shoreline, waving to the two of them once they spotted you. JB waved his hand wildly in an attempt to get you in the water, but you simply shook your head and plopped down on the sand, waiting patiently for the two boys to finish their morning surf. While you waited, you laid down in the sand as the rising sun moved over you, enjoying the calm atmosphere and playful shouts of your boyfriend and best friend in the ocean. Water lapped at your feet and brought the occasional seashell to knock against your ankle, and your toes dug into the wet sand each time the water pulled away. When you felt the wind gently hit your bare legs and the waves began to slow down, you knew the boys would be making their way back to shore in the next few minutes. 

Eventually, the sound of feet splashing in the water drew closer and the anxiety in your gut began to grow as JJ and John B made their way back onto dry land. A shadow loomed over you, blocking the sun from hitting your face and causing you to squint open an eye to see who it was. JJ looked down at you with a smile, water dripping from his hair onto your exposed stomach. He carefully set his board to the side, giving John B a mindless wave as the other boy made his way back to The Chateau, before lowering himself down to you. His head rested on your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist, and his legs shifted in the sand to wrap around your own. He was wet and smelt like saltwater and you could feel a piece of slimy seaweed tangled around his calf, but you buried your fingers in his messy hair and ran your hand over his shoulders, pulling him impossibly closer to you. This was the closest you’d been to him in weeks and you had been terrified about forgetting the way his skin felt against yours; but as his hands gripped your waist and his lips rested against your collarbone and your nails scratched at his scalp and your fingers massaged his sore shoulders, everything felt okay. But, regardless of how right things felt again or how comfortable you were, you couldn’t just forget about the past three weeks knowing that it would all start again tomorrow. 

“Hey,” you whispered, tapping JJ’s shoulder blade. He hummed in acknowledgment but didn’t move a muscle. “I want to talk to you-” JJ stiffened against you, his grip tightening subconsciously, “-about the past few weeks. I know something’s been bothering you and I thought giving you space would help you work through it, but it hasn’t. You’ve only pulled away even more.” 

JJ remained stiff but his grip relaxed and he released a shaky breath. “I know.”

“Can you tell me what’s going on? Please? I love all the little treats, flowers, and gifts, but I miss you, JJ-- I miss this.” You tenderly ran your nails down his side and over his hip for emphasis. “I miss holding you and being held by you. I miss playing with your hair and rubbing your shoulders. I miss talking with you in the morning while floating on our boards or laying on the HMS Pogue. I miss finding seashells and comparing them to one another. I miss my boyfriend.” 

JJ inhaled sharply before curling against you and holding you tight, his face now buried in your chest in a desperate attempt to conceal his tears. His body shook and his muscles tensed as he fought to hold back a sob, and his hold on you was nearing painful. Your heart rate sped up as worry and anxiety took over, and you had to fight against JJ’s grip in order to sit up and pull him with you. Instantly he was digging the palm of his hands into his eyes and biting down on his bottom lip, with harsh and jagged breaths escaping from his nose too quickly. 

“Baby, stop it, you gotta let go,” you urged, tugging his lip from between his teeth to avoid it splitting (as it often had before whenever JJ tried not to cry). You forced yourself to regulate your racing heart before grabbing one of JJ’s hands and placing it over your chest. “I’m right here, you’re okay, you can cry, babe. I know it’s hard but it’s just me, I’m not going anywhere.”

JJ’s fingers curled against your skin, feeling your heart beat steadily against his palm. He dropped his other hand from his eye and blinked away the stars and black spots, but he kept his gaze on the spot where your knees touched. Tears fell freely from his eyes now, curving over his nose and getting caught between his lips. He let out a few choked sobs and harsh sniffles for a few minutes before slowly pulling his hand away from your chest once he calmed down. Instead of pulling completely away as you expected him to do, JJ placed his hand on your thigh and rubbed his thumb in mindless circles.

“I miss you too, princess, I miss you so fucking much. I’m sorry for pulling away and for not talking to you, but I didn’t… I don’t know how to talk about what’s going on. I want to tell you, I’ve wanted to since it started but…” JJ trailed off with an uneven sigh and shook his head. “I just need to get over it. It’s not that big of a deal, it happens to all sorts of people, I need to stop being a little bitch about it,” he seethed before slamming his fist into the sand beside him. 

You placed your hand on top of the one he had on your thigh and squeezed his wrist. “No, you don’t. You’re not a little bitch for caring about something and for being hurt. You can tell me, you know that I’m not going to judge you. Whatever is going on is hurting you and you don’t deserve to be hurt more than you already have been.”

“I don’t want you to break up with me. I don’t want to lose you,” JJ confessed in a broken voice. He looked up at you and you could finally see the anguish and guilt clouding his eyes as he continued to cry. “But I need to tell you, I can’t keep it inside anymore. So… so if you do want to break up, I understand,” he choked before furiously wiping at his eyes.

Your heart stuttered at the implication causing you to take a deep breath. “Just be honest, that’s all I ask. You don’t have to hide anything or alter the truth, okay?” JJ gave a small nod and squeezed your thigh.

“It first happened three weeks ago, when I was helping Pope with an early morning delivery. I was doing my last run to the Cameron’s, and usually I drop them off with Wheezie since she’s the only one ever awake. But that morning she was at a friend’s house or something, I guess, and instead, it was Rose who was there to grab the groceries. She uh, she had me follow her inside to the kitchen and started showing me where to put stuff away. And in my head, ya know, I’m thinkin’, ‘lady, this isn’t part of my job description’, but I don’t say anything because I need the cash. So I’m putting away her groceries and she’s lingering and saying these things about how strong I am and how she’s so glad I chose to help her, but I don’t think anything of it. But when I reach up to put away the cereal, my tank top rides up and she comes up behind me and puts her hands on my waist. I jump and almost knock down the entire cupboard, and I try to push her away but she just spins me around like it’s nothing. Like I’m nothing. I’m telling her to stop, that I’ve got a girl, that I’m not interested, all this shit, but she doesn’t listen. She just keeps touching me, mainly my stomach and arms, and saying how she’s just appreciating ‘a hard-working young man’. I wanted to push her away and get the hell out of there, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t fucking move. If I did push her away then that shit would’ve been turned on me so fast and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t breathe and all I kept thinking about was you and how I wanted her to stop. After she had her fill of feeling me up, she kissed my neck and handed me a hundred-dollar tip. Like… like I was her own personal whore or somethin’. I ran out of there so damn fast, and I tried rubbing off the lipstick but it was bright fucking red, so I had to wear my bandana around my neck all day. That morning wasn’t the only time, either, she’s been requesting me for every delivery. I wanted to say something, I wanted to tell you but I… I was scared. I’m a guy, this shit doesn’t happen to guys. I should’ve pushed her away, I should’ve fought back, I should’ve done more but instead, I just fucking stood there. I’ve been cheating on you because I was too much of a pussy to push her away.”

“You haven’t been cheating on me,” you said instantly, letting the impact of JJ’s story wash over you. His head snapped up and his brows furrowed as he looked at you. He opened his mouth to argue, but you shook your head. “You told her to stop. She’s in her thirties and you’re sixteen. She holds power and authority over you, and if you physically pushed her away things would have gotten much worse. You didn’t ask for her to touch you or kiss you or give you more money than you were owed. Rose sexually assaulted you, and that isn’t your fault, JJ. None of what happened is your fault.” Your voice was gentle but your words were firm and you held onto JJ’s hand as you spoke. 

“I did cheat on you, I let another woman-”

You interrupted him, “You didn’t let her do anything. She forced herself onto you and put you in a position where she knew you wouldn’t be able to fight back or deny her. You were forced into being complacent, and that’s not your fault. You’re right, this does happen all the time, but just because you’re a guy that doesn’t make it unimportant or invalid. You didn’t cheat on me, and I’m not breaking up with you. I’m going to help you work through this.”

JJ shook his head violently and tore his hand from your grasp. He stood up on weak legs and paced beside you, tugging harshly at his hair. “No, no, I wasn’t sexually assaulted. I’m strong, I’m a guy, I could’ve pushed her away easily, but I didn’t. I didn’t fight back and I didn’t tell you for three weeks! You shouldn’t be holding my hand, you should be screaming at me and hitting me and breaking up with me!” he ranted in hysterics, continuing to pace and tug at his hair.

Your heart ached at your boyfriend’s words and you had to blink away your own tears. You moved yourself to your knees before reaching out and grabbing ahold of JJ’s ankle, forcing him to stop moving and look down at you. “What if it was me?”

“What? What if what was you?” 

“What if I had helped Pope with the deliveries and Ward Cameron touched me while I was putting away his groceries? What if he had me backed against a counter and was touching my waist and kissing my neck? What if I begged him to stop, told him I wasn’t interested, told him I had a boyfriend, and told him no multiple times? What if he didn’t listen to me and kept touching me, even though I told him no? Everyone on this island knows I can fight just as hard, if not harder, than any man. But what if I couldn’t fight back? What if I punched him and lost everything? Mr. Hayward could lose his business, Pope could lose his scholarship, and I could get thrown in jail; because the Cameron’s have money and they have power and I don’t. So, what if I was touched by an older man repeatedly, against my will, even after I begged him to stop? Would it have been my fault? Would I be weak because it happened? Would you break up with me?” 

You looked up at JJ and his breath caught in his throat, his eyes widening in understanding. His knees buckled and you were quick to grab ahold of his waist and carefully help him back to the ground. Once he was safely seated, he reached out and grabbed your hands, pulling you closer to him until you were straddling his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist and he tucked his head into your neck, holding you close to him. You could feel his body shaking despite the warm weather and his silent tears falling against your throat, but you remained silent as he worked through what you had said. You dutifully ran your hands through his hair, combing out the tangles with your fingers and giving soothing scratches against his scalp. JJ clung to you in silence for the next hour, and you had almost fallen asleep when you felt his arms loosen and his hands move to your waist. You pulled back to look down at him and saw him already looking up at you with red eyes and puffy cheeks. The anguish and guilt that had been swimming in his blue eyes the past few weeks no longer seemed to overtake the love and adoration they usually held when JJ looked at you. You cupped his cheeks between your hands and kissed him softly, smiling when you felt his thumbs rub your sides in appreciation.

“I love you,” JJ murmured against your lips before pulling back.

You kissed his forehead lovingly, “I love you too, babe. We’ll work through this, you’re not on your own anymore. I’ve got you, and I’ll make sure Rose Cameron doesn’t lay a hand on you again.”