#she thinks the void eating the world is disco there is something wrong with her

[quetzalpapalotl]

DE update: so like, Claire is right. I mean, he is throwing some poor people under the bus for his plans which is no good, but like, he is at least more right than Joyce. However, Joyce is so hot.

[bigdickfartsapolka]

A Liveblog, because why not?

I, SCOTTICVS, being of stupid mind and tired body, have just atumbled upon the youtube that has "The Bravest Warriors, Season 1 (Every Episode)" and see that season 2 is in the suggested videos. I know nothing about it, and have only heard clips on tiktoks of catbug which is what made me search it, and so. I have come to the decision. That now, having seen 3 episodes. I will be live-blogging the rest of the episodes as I watch them, because this shit is too hilarious to not share with someone somewhere, so I am going to scream into the void until the void sends me suggestions that share whatever the fuck this sense of humor is back to me.

Episode 1, they are stuck in a timeloop and only learn about it at minute 3 of 5

How do they escape? They see their own corpses (2 sets) and decide "ain't no way I'm goin' in there". Episode over. BRILLIANT!

Episode 2, mystery dude called a FeelsLord or some biz shows up, talks all cryptically about the future and powers and then says psyche and makes puppies made of chocolate appear. Being as it is a sciency show, I bet they were all... Chocolate... LABS.

(I will not be apologizing for that, nor any other of my jokes. It was perfect and if you disagree then you’re wrong, and don’t click through to read more, because there will be a lot more that bad or worse... I’m sure of it already. I haven’t seen this show before at all, but I already love it.)

Episode 3! The holodeck is also the bathroom, which apprently they are all cool with just sharing as a crew because what are boundaries? I guess? And then the waterbuffalo dies by swarm of bees, which. Wow. That has such a D&D vibe to it. But even better, when Beth comes in, they're all just not sure if she saw or not, and then when she leaves she shows she totally did and locks them all in and loads up whatever the fuck BUTTER LETTUCE fantasy, Beth program 3 was, where the stripclub is all reverse-centaurs? And they all have a ..... Butter lettuce party in a spa? There's a hot tub? It's wild, but wonderful.

Episode 4. Here we go. First time viewing and fully new to me material from here on out. Weee. They're on a bus? Sorta? "SIGNS. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE IN THE FUTURE" Hahahahaha. And this kid. Can manifest toast. Alright, ... Oh. Too much toast. Dude. Memory loss episode. Fun? Wild. Everyone forgets everything. And the pilot decided to bail out and died in the vaccuum of space. Wow. what a bizarre show... JELLYKID, YES!... JELLYKID, NOOO! We assist peeps. Yeah. Hahaha. We're here to help. Jrllykid exclusively makes bread. And bad choices. I hope we see him again.

Memory Donk convention!?... Wooooow. Hahahahaha. President Memory Donk. Oh my. Oh, the best friend. But the kiss... But no. But okay. Pretty obvious where that is going to be going? Or not. Depends on whether they're gonna be trying to subvert or not and to what extent, etc.

...

Eposode 5! Buncheck. All about the booty this episode. Ooh. Avoiding the 100 years of baaad if they don't have things go well. Oh no. Poor little panic guy gets disappeared. Hahaha. Wooow. All about the butts and the dancing. Ooh! The guys butt said "Bully!" I love that when people say that. But oh no. Trouble. Ah! But the cut-in. Spark some jealousy. Yes, guy grows a spine, which is connnected to his enormous butt! And now they're doing buttstuff? Planet saved, by butt stuff. ... Moving on!

Episode 6! Ooh. We open on shooting and volcanos. Fun fun. A bomb. The EMOTION LORD! "I've been surviving alone on burritos for 8 long years." Let's quit spooning in the bouncy house and storm that hive! Hahahaha. More gunfire. Explosions. Emotion Lord claims to be Chris from the future. Woah, wait what? Denial, classic first response, good job Chris. I ain't your peppermaster. This show is so freakin' wild. The concierge, isn't he cute in his high chair. Ooh, no. Don't ask about the future. Temporal parasoxs, oh man. The concierge! "I'm not a bee, but Brother, I forgive you for that discrepancy" is such a Brennan Lee Mulligan NPC thing to say and has such an excellent energy to it. Aaawh, and he eats the B-12 and old dude gets more hair. Good ending.

Episode 7!

They have an invisible hideout? Wild. FIRST APPEARANCE OF CATBUG! Gas-powered stick? Weird. Ooh, Beth's friend makes me think of Marceline. Love the hair. All the guys want her and have 0 chill. No surprise, but still... Gas-powered Stick. Impossibear? Whata wild dude. Threw the stick, grew a tree, now a peach pit is giving Chris xray vision. Ooh, trouble, boyyo. Don't do that. Wha? A musical number?!? Nope. Got cut off. Too bad. Ooh, try something weird. It got weird alright. What the whaaa? So. That was a thing? Or, yah know, maybe it won't be. I dunno about continuity and this show yet. But hey! Catbug! Yaaay!

Episode 8!

Open on dramatic doors and then disco dance music. Time machine? Fun fun. Gonna get weird, I'd bet. New Miami? Whaaa? Wild. Hahaha. Ooh, memory goggles to show people in your brain stuff. Electric puke button? Whoa. That's terrible. Kill that awful character. But nooo, that's gonna make things worse somehow. "Hehehe. You're gonna punt children." "Sorry dude. Doesn't work out." Awh, too bad. No time machine thing this time.

Episode 9!

Everyone speaks gibberish? Seems that they understand each other though, so okay. Teleport to a portal or two and then angry laser dogs. Fire spirits make popcorn. I relate to them on a deep level. Apparently the ones on the planet are super sexist. No longer relate to them. Rude. Laserdogs meet other dog and things are good. First planet is good when gets plugged in with the power chord to the ship, so that's cool. Music puzzle on planet 3. Turns the whole world on its axis. Planetary alignment fixes speech problem. Wow. Weird. Hahahaha, but love it. Now who gets the big dude out of the pod?

Episode 10!

10 year anniversary of a jinx? Wow. Wild. Male female jive, and letting Beth sing I am the Walrus is just a wiiild addition. Cereal master fries her own face for dramatic effect. Wild. Ooh. His eyes glow. He has powers. Emotion lorded those seahorse dreams. Wiiild. "Run, fools. Run for your lives." "SOMEBODY GET GOD A MOJITO!" Woah. This is excellent and I love it. "IT'S THE DEVIL! SOMEBODY KILL HIM!" She remembers. Cereal lady goes home to talk to her Daddy instead of taking it out on customers and herself. And Beth does another jinx on Chris. This is such an enjoyable show.

Episode 11!

Wankershim leaves the holojohn and becomes his own independent individual. More carrots and breadcrumbs! ... Whaaa? Everyone becomes one with Wankershim. Their t shirts all change. CATBUG'S FRIENDS LINE! I love that CatBug sooo much. Ooh, mercy. Visions of the future. Always interesting, but also wiiild. The whole universe is Wankershim. Its always been Wankershim... That is rad.

I too have an interest in tacos.

The concierge!!!

Episode 12!

CATBUG! They're chilling in Beth's room. And then they get gifts from their parents! Catbug is an interdimensional jumper. Wild. I looove them. "SUGARPEAS! drop them! OKAY!" Makes much more sense now. Why would you make oatmeal cry? Good ask, Catbug. The presents grow into a horrible monster critter, a door, and then, naturally, as any D&D party. They immediately knock on it. They cannot open it. Paralyzed horse's log. Awh, poor thing. But wait. Who is Ralph Waldo Picklechips? What is there behind the door? Why does the old man miss Beth? What happened in the future?

Must find out more, next post, on BRAVEST WARRIORS. I will not liveblog that one unless there is any interest in this one though, because this actually took a lot of time and typing and also I am apparently 7 years behind or more on doing that, so. Oh well. Still, it was fun. GOTTA LOVE CATBUG!

[tinymixtapes]

Feature: 2017: Favorite 50 Songs

NOTE: Each day this week, we will share a new 10-track mix, which together represent 50 of our favorite songs from 2017. Today’s theme is “GYM,” mixed by Corrigan B. I have a reputation for being ruthlessly optimistic, which is why I typically hate this kind of shit: yearly ritual lamentations on things like racist soap commercials and weird presidential takedowns of professional football players; in retrospectives like this, it seems like we always group our collective grievances in odd numbers, truncating our listing of injustices for brevity and politeness. This approach — of remembering and marking a year like we’re scratching off days on a culturally misappropriated doom calendar — has always struck me as insincere and offensive, but then it ends, and it’s weird looking back at what we went through and what got us through. Another arbitrary amount of time has passed, and yet it really does feel heavy. Death is real. Words fail. Mask on. Fuck it, mask off! So we pick a song and close our eyes and turn it up. And what were we blaring this year that warped time’s mundane and oppressive rhythms? What mutterings slowed us down when we were spinning out of control? What sounds launched us through uncertainty and landed us somewhere a little more familiar, if even for just a few minutes? There was no high canon guiding our self-care other than what we needed, and aren’t we all a little less particular about what kind of noise lifts us up when we’re fumbling through our first yoga class at the GYM, screaming obscenities into the glowing rectangular VOID, remembering love and loss on the brisk face of the CLIFF, shuffling home through the ALLEY at night, driving away from it all in the COUPE? We don’t have EVERYTHING listed here, but for us, a lot of these tracks were EVERYTHING this year. So, in that spirit of dissolving hierarchies of taste, this list is not ranked; instead, here are five themed mixes of our Favorite Songs of 2017. How you interact with them is your choice: you can nod along, you can face the noise stoically, you can dance, you can laugh at some of our choices, and most importantly, no matter what anybody tells you, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. However you remember 2017, just know that you’re not alone, and don’t let a crotchety optimist like me tell you to smile through it all. Just pick a song and close your eyes and turn it up. You’ll know what to do when you hear it. –Jazz Scott --- PART 1: “GYM” mixed by Corrigan B --- Joe “Tail Lift” [Hessle Audio] Given its title, it was unsurprising that Joe’s “Tail Lift” was concerned with momentum. Like the piece of machinery it’s named after, “Tail Lift” was always pushing things upwards. Over the course of its nearly six-minute runtime, the track shook and shimmied, balancing chirps, whistles, chimes, and bells over an insistent, doubled beat that was constantly falling over and into itself. These propulsive movements were adorned, interrupted, and joined along the way by fellow sonic travelers drawn to the upbeat procession — children’s voices, glassy keys, miniature melodies — suffusing the track with a caffeinated, off-kilter mien. Dalliances with the weird were frequent here; cartoonish pops, drums, and squeaks bursting into view as the track underwent one of several mini-implosions, its parts falling to the ground before being picked up again, their order jumbled, soldered-together edges overflowing with molten metal. “Tail Lift” was the sonic embodiment of this aleatory backyard readymade: equal parts humorous, conceptual, and functional; archly constructed and strangely satisfying. –Rafael Lubner --- Lil B “Wasup Jojo” [BasedWorld] Feels like a track might be the wrong kind of unit for looking at something by Lil B. Like, look at scales of magnitudes, not at atoms. But on the other hand, everything in the universe is literally in everything else. And I mean that — all of the BasedWorld is in everything Lil B does, and when Black Ken, in its nostalgic Bay Area references, seemed like it was doing something out of reverence for “ancient history,” it turns out that those things were sucked into Lil B’s ambit too. He’s not referring to them; they refer to him from now on: “Wasup JoJo” — it’s a NODE, the busiest in the switchover. –Michael J --- Fever Ray “To the Moon and Back” [Mute] Fever Ray’s Karin Dreijer is so notorious for her enigmatic identity and arresting visuals that we often forget just how gifted a songwriter she is. “Hey, remember me/ I’ve been busy working like crazy,” she reminded us on “To the Moon and Back,” her first song of new music since 2009. A bouncy synth-pop jam more reminiscent of the playful Deep Cuts-era Knife material than Dreijer’s previous output under the Fever Ray alias, the song was crafted from a series of expertly layered synth lines that built to a orgasmic release, a tantalizing taste of what we had been missing. –Jeff Miller --- Nídia “Puro Tarraxo” [Príncipe Discos] I don’t get into aerobics, but half of Nídia’s kuduro beats could function as Zumba fodder. If you threw on “Puro Tarraxo” though, you were plain fucked. There was the semblance of slowed-down reggaeton in there, but it was too slow to follow properly; besides, every rhythmic element was either tripping on its time signatures or moshing with the others. It was the sound of getting down on the yoga mat for about 20 seconds before realizing you were waaay too out of shape for this, but holy shit everyone else is doing it so you’ve gotta keep going gotta keep going gotta keep going gotta keep *faints* –Baldr Eldursson --- FOOZOOL “AZAT” [Club Chai] Club Chai, a collective whose mission is to “[centre] diasporic narratives, women and trans artists, DJs, and producers,” is important. Club Chai Vol. 1, their first major release, put the Oakland-based label on the map, and co-founder FOOZOOL’s track “AZAT” was a diamond among its many gems. Effortlessly mixing an opera-backing sample with a gritty guitar lead, the track exemplified what Club Chai Vol. 1 is all about: dance tracks full of “how the hell did they think of that” moments. We’re already chomping on our nails in anticipation for volume 2. –Sam Tornow --- Kelly Lee Owens “Anxi.” (ft. Jenny Hval) [Smalltown Supersound] Have you ever wondered where those joggers go? You know, the ones you see every day on a routine? Oh, sure, they go in a loop: From start to end, a simple route with clearly defined points of direction. No deviation. No direction. But are they going somewhere? Do they even see anything on their path, observe the world around them? Are they even there? I think not. Joggers mechanize. They aren’t going anywhere. They’re fulfilling maintenance that has no bearing, no effect in the long term. They’ll break down eventually. What meaning will they have then? –Ze Pequeno --- DJ Hell “I Want U” [International Deejay Gigolo] Taken from Zukunftsmusik (the title of which is German for “music of the future”), DJ Hell’s “I Want U” is a song about fucking. Specifically, as is obvious from the track’s associated artwork lifted from legendary homoerotic fetish artist Touko Laaksonen (a.k.a. Tom of Finland), it’s about huge, strong men fucking, but the instrumental worked for anyone with genitals. This face-blast of industrial techno pumped harder than Louis C.K. in front of an aspiring female comic, but unlike Louis, this track won’t make you feel disgusting inside after the experience. “I Want U” was an affirmation, an ode to the bears among us. It fed all kinds of muscles. –Alan Ranta --- Lorde “Supercut” [Republic/Lava] Drunk as shit. Tumble, starfish, curl. In bed, not in love. Not in love, not in love. Say it without opening Instagram. Too late. Illuminated by neon at the dive. Rose light. Obsessed with it. And you, fuck. Remember yelling along to our favorite songs all summer while driving the hell out of town? Remember glittering my eyelids before the party? Remember wearing backless velvet? I tried getting over it. Promised I would. Hated it. Shit, we were radiant. Magic. I forget why it ended. The crush, the rush. The energy. I would do anything. Text me? Please? –Caroline Rayner --- Ariel Pink “Time to Live” [Mexican Summer] He’s one part Bowie, one part nonsense-babbling toddler; he has arguably released more #1 smash hits than anyone in history, but in a dearly departed genre. Here, Ariel Pink returned to the cassette-left-on-the-dashboard production style of his early work, fording two and a half minutes of wind tunnels and monsters before his Trump-era call to arms gained full force. There was a layer of absurdist comedy to his divinations and absolutist pronouncements, but he committed 110% — as we all must. He turned into Princess Ariel for the watery coda and headed home with another W. –water --- POBBLES “POBBLES” [PC Music] I’m still not sure what a POBBLE is, but I think I want to eat one. The hyperactive Tomagatchi/marshmallow hybrid was offensively PC Music and also possibly the end to human despair. Accompanied by a video that must have been a nightmare to animate, the collaboration between A. G. Cook and Always & Forever Computer Entertainment had enough juice to fry a battery. Where can I buy a POBBLE? Are they like pets? Should I water it? Whatever it is, I’m sure my dentist advises against it. –Sam Tornow Come back tomorrow for the “VOID” mix. http://j.mp/2nMtfLK