#she somehow got from the official steam digital gift card page

[flimsy-roost]

mom christmas update: not even sending specific links to copy/paste can prevent her from "somehow" being redirected to a scam storefront

[forlornmelody]

Double the Trouble Chapter 14 -- A New Name

Rating: Explicit (previous chapters have smut)

Ship: FemShep x Femshep Clone, Femshep x Kaidan, Femshep x Femshep Clone x Kaidan, OT3

AO3 Link: Here

Summary:  It’s Shepard and Kaidan’s anniversary, and they invite Jane over for a special dinner. 

Note: Two years and a prequel later, here’s the final chapter. Hope you all enjoyed my crack fic as much as I did writing it. 

Anniversaries with Kaidan are always a tricky thing. Should they celebrate the anniversary of the night they committed mutiny and banged on the way to Illos? Or would it be more fitting to dress up and eat a fancy dinner one year after their first date on the Citadel? One thing’s for sure--neither of them want to remember the date they ran into each other on Horizon.

Somehow, it’s decided that their official anniversary happens every 365 terran days after the day the Normandy returned to Earth. Neither of them is super eager to go out. Besides, how are they to explain the third person on their reservation? So, they plan a candlelit dinner inside Kaidan’s apartment. Shepard picks up a white tablecloth and candle sticks, and Kaidan plans their menu. They schedule a time with Jane and wrap a very special gift inside a black box with a red satin ribbon. Before Jane arrives, they start a playlist on the radio--arguing over whether the music should be club music or jazz. Their argument devolves into “Hey, I saved the galaxy three times” and “I stood up for you when everyone thought you were a traitor” and “No, Anderson didn’t” and lastly “Anderson doesn’t count.” Somehow, Shepard wins the argument--Kaidan isn’t remotely surprised. “Next time we’re listening to jazz.”

“Hey, I brought some treats for Jeff. Hope you don’t mind.” Jane closes the door behind her, dropping a small bag next to the hamster cage. “Whoa. You weren’t kidding.”

“Too much?” Kaidan sweeps Jane up into a kiss as Shepard limps her way over. Shepard’s mouth is on hers as soon as Kaidan’s is out of the way.

“No. Though I’m still surprised you invited me to this. Isn’t this your night?”

“You mean a lot to us, Jane. And we couldn’t wait.” Shepard sits down at the table, already set with plateware, glasses, flatware, wine, and steaming hot food. Kaidan pulls out a chair for Jane.

“Wait for what?”

Kaidan and Shepard share a knowing glance, and the former reaches over to the coffee table, pulling out a box and handing it to Jane. “Open it.”

Shepard leans forward, fingers and biotics itching to open it for her--to make the process go faster, but she holds back.

Jane blinks at what she finds inside. She holds up a driver’s license to the candle light “ID? I thought everything was digital?”

“It’s more for sentimental value...and those low-tech places without readers.” Kaidan serves them both steak--unburned steak, for the record-- candied asparagus, and garlic mashed potatoes.

“What Kaidan means to say is that wanted to give you--”

“My own name,” Jane says it softly, reading the name on the ID card. “Allison Gunn. Who is that?”

“Keep digging.” Shepard grins widely, not touching her food, as delicious as it smells. She doesn’t want to miss a single moment.

Underneath a birth certificate, obviously forged, and a Social Insurance Number, printed on a letter--also forged, Jane finds a mint-condition Badass Weekly. On it, Jane finds a familiar face. “What the hell is this?” She smirks over at Shepard.

“A name isn’t anything without a reputation, right?”

Jane thumbs through the magazine quickly, nearly ripping the edges as she races to the correct page. She skims the words while Shepard starts to wonder if this was the best gift idea. “But why go to all this trouble? I already have both.”

Shit. This is why Shepard never gives gifts. She always ends up sending the wrong message. Is it too late to take it back?

“What Shepard means to say--is that we wanted to give you a name that was your own.”

“I only used it once.” Shepard says quickly, sitting up. “On Beckenstein.”

“What the hell did you do?”

Leaning forward, Shepard eyes her Clone with the most confident grin she can manage. “A heist. And shot up a crime lord and all his shit.”

“Damn. You never do things the easy way, do you, Shepard?” Jane runs her finger down the image of “Alison”, obviously photoshopped. Shepard would never wear her hair that long. Especially for when this magazine was published. “This was when you were with Cerberus?”

Shepard bristles at the mention of that name. “Yeah. I was helping a friend.” Kasumi still wrote her emails--heavily encrypted ones. One of these days she should write her back. “Same friend who helped make the ID for you.”

“For me? Or you?”

“For you.” Kaidan taps the picture on her ID card. It has Jane’s undershave, and her sun tattoo peeking out over her shoulder. And then Kaidan grins. “Actually. That’s Shepard’s gift for you.” He pulls out a second box, deeper than the last. Jane glances at Shepard, to find her equally dumbfounded.

“Don’t look at me.” What could have Kaidan found for Jane? Is it something related to their coffee dates? Shepard watches closely as Jane lifts the lid.

Jane gasps as she pulls out a well-worn journal, made from skin of some sea creature--likely an alien one. Tears spring from Jane’s eyes, and Shepard glances at Kaidan for explanation. He smiles. “How’d you find this??”

“Took some digging. But we still have connections to Thessia, especially now that coms are back up.” Kaidan frowns. “We...we couldn’t save everything. And a lot of things her parents wanted to keep. But they sent this. For...” he scrunches his nose as he searches his memory. “...Ana…”

“Fields.” Jane’s voice is thick with emotion as she traces the sun design on the front. With a jolt, Shepard realizes it’s the same one that rests on Jane’s left shoulder. Distantly, her clone looks up at Kaidan, a tear slipping down her cheek. “Did they say anything?”

Kaidan shifts in his seat, clearing his throat. “Well, they said she’d want you to have them.”

Jane tears the journal out of the box, digging for what lies underneath. She finds brushes and pencils, erasers, and a straight edge. A sob escapes her throat before she can stop it. “Thank you. Thank you both.”

Shepard reaches over, squeezing her hand once it’s free. “I wish I could have met her.”

Jane’s voice is thick. “Me too.” 

So lost in running her thumb across Jane’s hand until her sobs subside, Shepard doesn’t notice Kaidan leaving the table. She doesn’t think much of it. Jane’s telling her some story about the hijinks her and Dreya got up to, and they’re both stirring their potatoes instead of eating them. Glancing over at Kaidan’s empty seat, Jane brightens, and Shepard sees a spark in her eye that makes her suspicious. Her clone never had a good poker face. “Jane? Is there something I should know?”

“Mm?” Jane says innocently, suddenly shoving potatoes into her mouth.

N school taught her to trust her instincts, and right now Shepard’s instincts are telling her that Jane is compensating. But for what? She scans the room, finding nothing particularly out of place. The hamster’s been fed. Nothing is on fire in the kitchen--for once. Kaidan’s chair has been empty for a while, though. “How long has Kaidan been gone?” She assumed he went to the bathroom, but even that diva didn’t take that long.

Jane shrugs.

“Shouldn’t we check on him?”

“He survived the Normandy crashing on an uncharted world, being run over by the Mako, and a Collector attack--I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Hey, Shepard,” Kaidan says softly from behind her. Shepard turns around to see him shyly watching her like with his hands behind his back--well, if she’s honest--like the first time he saw her naked. How far they had both come--and yet how little had changed.

“Hey, Kaidan.” Oh yeah. Something’s definitely up, but Kaidan is adorable like this so Shepard plays along. “What’s up?”

“I got something for you.”

A fork flips off Jane’s plate as she leans in closer to watch. Jumping at the noise, Shepard gathers herself and looks back at the man she loves. “Oh? What is it?”

“You... uh. You might want to turn your chair around.” Kaidan swallows hard, and a neuron fires in Shepard’s brain...only to miss its target. Something’s off-- but what. Shepard turns around anyway--and Kaidan sinks to one knee. Her heart plummets into her stomach.

“Jane Shepard, will you marry me?”

Shepard’s brain short-circuits. Her eyes catch on the sparkle of the gemstone as Kaidan pops open the box. Distantly she remembers ranting about the stupidity of diamonds when they passed a jewelry store on the Citadel. “Garnet?” She mutters.

Kaidan’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open. “Uh--sorry. I thought that was what you liked. Shit. Maybe I….” Her lover tailspins in a spiral, and Shepard’s jaw drops open as she finally realizes what’s happening. Link established.

“You’re asking me to marry you,” she says out loud. The words sound foreign coming out of her mouth. Marriage...always seemed to be something for other people. Better people. Not that Kaidan is a bad person--he’s amazing, better than her in so many ways. Kaidan would get married one day. But not to her.

“Yeah. Sorry. I thought maybe--” Kaidan puts on a brave face, but he could never fool her.

“Kaidan.” Shepard hooks her finger under his chin, turning his face toward hers.

“Shepard,” he whispers, his eyes wavering. An image flashes in Shepard’s mind of him looking at her that way--dressed in a tuxedo on an altar overlooking English Bay. Or maybe his family’s orchard--away from the Reaper’s destruction. The image scares her, and yet it thrills her to think the man she loves might look at her like that for the rest of her life.

Shepard should probably say something, but she doesn’t trust herself to speak. Not with the torrent of emotions raging through her brain. Instead she pulls him into a kiss--not unlike the one they shared when he hobbled off the Normandy after being MIA for months on end. Kaidan trembles at her touch, holding her gently as if she might slip away like cottonwood in the breeze. Squeezing his hands, Shepard kisses him harder, trying to say with her kiss what feels impossible to say with words. I love you, I love you, I love y--

Jane, or should she say--Alison, clears her throat. “Is that a yes or--?”

Kaidan’s smile slips again, and Shepard steals a quick kiss to reassure him. “Of course!” She is not good at this. But she wants to be better.

“Good. Cause I got to know if I need to get a nice tux.”

“Oh, so we’re inviting you?” Shepard swats Kaidan as he falls apart into laughter.

“Of course, she’s invited!” Somehow their playful argument dissolves into wrestling on the floor, and when Shepard has pinned Kaidan to the rug, she looks over to see her Clone brushing her fingers across her new ID. Alison Gunn, indeed.