#she said they needed to and went to sit in the gm's office for 15 minutes

[jjungkookislife]

this book idea better come soon bc the work drama is too much

[revlatte]

Holding out hope?

Let me share with you a brief history about my car ownership….

 Car One was a 1989 White Pontiac Sunbird. It was my cousin Starla’s car. I had tons of great memories in that vehicle. Well, after my friend Mike and I stole my brother’s car for a joy ride and Mike totaled it, my brother then took my car. Once he returned the car, it was on its last leg. I had less than three months of enjoyment in that car before it died on Laurel Bush Road. I remember that day, my Mom drove past my friend Evan and I as we were flagging down a police officer to help us figure out what was wrong with the car.

 For the rest of high school, I would bum rides with folks in the National Honor Society, my Dad would give me rides, and sometimes, I could drive my parents’ cars to school.

 As an undergraduate student at the University of Tennessee, I did not have a car at first during my freshman year. My family would provide rides when and as they were able. I will never forget the day I tried taking the bus to my doctor’s office off of Middlebrook Pike in Knoxville, Tennessee. I waited for what seemed like hours for the bus to come back and pick me up. It never came. I called my Aunt Missy to give me a ride and as always, she was there. I would get up at 5 AM every morning, eat breakfast, then walk 2. 6 miles from my dorm to the Police Training Academy where I was a cadet. Shortly after arriving, we would be forced in to “PT.” Clearly, I was already exhausted. I was also a full time student. In the afternoons, when I was lucky, family would arrive to pick me up.

 Later that semester, my Uncles, Aunt Frances, and Gma pitched in to get me my 2000 Ford Focus ZTS. She was beautiful! Cranberry with Black tinted windows. I loved her.

 By the Fall of 2008, she was on her last leg. FORD – Fix Or Repair Daily – Found On Road Dead. Issue after issue with her. I had put on over 160,000 miles in the four years she and I were together. She was sold to a man with a sob story. He got over on me and my Dad.

 From that point on, I would drive my Dad’s Buick LeSabre when he let me. On Mother’s Day 2010, a pastoral colleague of mine sold me her 1997 Honda CRV for $1. What a blessing! I LOVED Sally (that was the CRV’s name). Sally and I rode for a long time.

 By the winter of 2011, it was clear I needed a much reliable vehicle. A vehicle with some stronger heat would be fantastic! Trying to branch out on my own, I purchased a 2008 Chevrolet Impala. It was a great car but boy was that gas expensive! Nevertheless, it was my car. I had the CRV for getting around town and the Impala for longer trips and business. Well, issues began creeping up with the Impala. The car dealership would not fix them though I had a warranty. As I started to look at the loan paperwork, I realized they lied! By the time I went back to the dealership, they had closed. No one could be found or contacted. I was stuck with this car with serious mechanical issues and there was no one to talk too. I stopped paying on the car because I wanted to give it back! They paperwork was wrong. The car I purchased did not match what was on the paperwork. A year and many states later, the car was repossessed.

 Facing this repossession, terrible credit, but having a great job and nothing in savings created a ton of issues. My “only option” was another car loan, high interest rates, and $2500 down. I called my parents for help. They gave me the $2500 and an earful and I got the only car I was able to qualify for on the lot. A 2002 Pontiac Grand Prix. Again, I was upside down in a car loan and paying way more than what the car was worth. What were my options? I had to get to work in something reliable. From the beginning, there were issues with this car. When driving it, I could feel something slipping in both the brakes and transmission. My partner at the time did not have a job, verifiable income, and even worse credit than I did. We, like many working poor, were in a corner.

 Working poor? How did I get from being solidly middle class to being a college educated member of Phi Beta Kappa with a Master’s degree and graduate certificate from Harvard? I was now the working poor. The mental anguish and emotional weight of this realization was tough.

 Well, we traveled back down the road in our old “hoopties” to Knoxville, Tennessee. Once there, my Uncle helped me get out of the mess with the Grand Prix, which was beginning to have issues. My cousin took it, once it was paid off, and was excited just to have transportation. The CRV was acting up and it was time to go. A tree fell on top of her and ended her life.

 Inevitably, the call to my Mom took place. I was in a tough spot. Again, my partner had little to nothing to contribute. My Mom and Uncle mulled over the possibilities. My grandmother has extra vehicles sitting at her house, that was an option. Taking my Mom’s car was an option. My Mom was considering buying a new car and letting me have her car. That was an option. Finally, it ended on my Mom giving my Uncle $10K for his son’s car. This car was my Uncle’s former work vehicle, so, it was relatively reliable. Now, I was in debt to my mother, again, for a vehicle.

 Within just a few months of getting the car, my partner and I both began to notice some very serious issues. Had some folks check it out and there were serious issues with the transmission. Estimates were $6-9K for the full repairs. Fuck. It was time to sell. My partner could not legally drive due to her seizures when we first got the car, so having the one car worked fine. Now, we were in a different situation.

 We sold the car that my Mom bought for me and used the cash to buy two cars: a 2000 Cadillac Deville and a 1998 Cadillac Deville. We took a friend who “knows cars” with us to buy both vehicles. He looked at them and test drove them and said everything looked great and he had no reservations.

 The 98 Deville began giving us problems and the window stopped rolling down. We got it fixed and poured over $1500 in to repairs and inspections. The 00 Deville was fine at first. Great air conditioning, smooth ride, and then it began overheating. Over $3000 went in to fixing that car until we realized we couldn’t drive it for longer than 15 minutes without serious overheating and leaking. Damn. We got taken on both vehicles. Eventually, the 00 Deville died on a back road one day and we fixed the 98 up enough to be able to give it to a friend. Those cars gave us over 2 good years of use. In the midst of this, my former partner left in the middle of the night and I had both vehicles. That sucked…

 As I was fleeing from Asheville and re-configuring life, it was clear that I needed a more reliable form of transportation. The 98 Deville had been my go-to vehicle for years but had been getting more and more tricky to navigate. It broke down on the way back from the Trump Rally in Hickory, North Carolina and I realized at that point, it was time for something else. Something better.

 Once I was offered my new position, my partner and I began to research our options for a better, more fuel efficient, vehicle that could be used for the family and work. I purchased a 2014 Nissan Altima with 28,000 miles. It was the only car on the lot that I was approved for, that worked in my budget, and the auto loan company (GM Financial) would approve. Initially, the offered me a payment for 72 months. It was my goal to pay off the car within a year and use my January 2017 bonus to pay it down substantially. All was well. Until the place I was working was weeks late to getting me my first paycheck, thus making me late on my initial car payment. Again, when I was fired they were over a week late in processing payroll (most likely due to cash flow issues), which caused me to be late on the car payment, again.

 Now, I am in a situation where I am typing this post and looking at on the car and wondering what the future is. What is the future for Black Cherry (the name of our car)? What is the future for me? How will this story end? Of course, Black Cherry needs some TLC and maintenance. Who can afford that?

 I recall the auto industry getting a bail out but what about the American people? What about people like me? Folks who are over qualified for most jobs and would have to work at least two full-time jobs just to break even? Folks like me who are now the working poor? What do we do? Where is there hope?

 Why should you care about me and my car issues, my car history, what does this all mean? I don’t know…because I am a person? Because this story could be you? Maybe it’s just to witness the immense amount of pressure and stress that I, and others like me, deal with on a daily basis. Unemployed, unemployable with stacks of bills to the ceiling, medical debt, student loans, rent, utilities, car payments. No, I’m not asking for a hand out, maybe a sustainable plan and bail out. I called GM Financial and they said I could: get someone to “drive and pay” (take over the payments), ask family members for a loan (are you serious?!), sell the car and pay the difference (voluntary surrender/repossession), or work harder to find a job. That must be it, I must not be working hard enough to find a job.

 Having a car as  reliable transportation is a privilege and I am grateful to have the privilege of transportation. I just wish it wasn’t so damn hard to live and be in this society.

 It is true that Obama saved the American car industry. What are we doing for the American car industry consumers?

 I’m struggling just as many are struggling and somewhere deep inside of us, we are hoping for a better future. For a future with more ease, stability, and peace. I have to hold out hope that is possible, somehow, someway. Until then, I will continue to do whatever possible to keep Black Cherry in the family. Somehow, I have to muster up the strength to believe in hope. The struggle is still real....