#she redirects anyone praising her to praise becca bc she owes soo much of her life to her

[doomdays-a]

callie has worked for years to save the planet and the people on it and yes she might have been leading the excursion back to the ground with the people who chose to defy her father and leave the second dawn,  but she will never accept the words “you saved my life” / “i’m alive because of you” / “you’re a hero” / etc. from anyone.   it’s absolutely fair for anyone to think of her that way and to believe their survival is because of her,  she is a hero in that sense,  but she doesn’t like to look at herself that way for various reasons. 

1)  she respects becca more than anyone.  she’s her childhood hero and her greatest influence in life.  nothing is more important to her than carrying on becca’s works and beliefs into the life they are starting on the ground.  she believes that they’re all alive because of becca;  because without the nightblood,  without becca choosing to bring it to earth specifically so save these people,  they wouldn’t have had this option at all.  becca is the one who delivered them back home.  becca is the reason they have a chance to live.   becca is the reason they had a choice beyond the one that callie’s father was going to give them.  people can think of callie as the hero,  but she will never allow anyone to forget becca’s name and becca’s purpose and becca’s desire to deliver them all home,  back to safety.  it’s the very reason bekka pramheda is so vital to the culture still so many decades later;  callie never let anyone forget her name and that they survived because of her.

2)  taking credit for their survival leaves a bad taste in her mouth,  not only because she believes their survival is owed to becca,  but because she knows how her father operates.  he loves taking credit for people’s lives,  he loves believing no one is more powerful than him.  the people of the second dawn worshipped him because they believed he saved them all and that he would deliver them to a new world,  and callie hated the way he was perceived.  it added to the claustrophobia in the bunker.  their survival is because of becca’s nightblood,  but it’s bigger than that,  too.  these people didn’t choose to follow callie out the door because she insisted they did.  everyone had a choice,  she was never going to force anyone out the door if they weren’t ready for it  (  it’s why she accepts her mother’s choice and says goodbye to her despite desperately wishing she would come with her.  )  they all chose to live on their own accord,  because they were brave enough to take a chance,  not because callie made them.  and maybe bill didn’t make anyone follow him through the stone,  but he was good at manipulating them into believing it was their only option.  callie doesn’t want to be anything like her father,  and she knows that when people call her the hero that’s not who they’re trying to compare her to,  but it just doesn’t feel right for her.  

they’re alive because of becca and because they were each brave enough to take the chance.  she led them there,  she encouraged them,  she supported them  ---  but she did not intimidate or manipulate or use any tactics that her father would result to.  this is all of their lives,  not just the lives she’s leading.  it’s important that they’re all a collective,  all working together to find their lives in this new chance they have to live.