#she only allows 2 absents in her class and i missed 3 classes bc i had covid and then the class the other day but i like literally couldn’t

[gothcoast]

the other day i emailed my professor that i was skipping lab bc i wanted to stay home and study and she replied with ‘ok no problem’ after bitching other ppl out for missing class

[vandergeld]

                  hey  everyone welcome BACK to my blog  ,  hi  , how  are  ya ?   i’m   RUZZY   (  or  ru  ,  rudy  idk  if thats too  much  lmAO  )  &  i  have  not  been  apart  of  a  group  in  84  years ............  that  graphic  is  so  extra  but  i  was  bored  &  first  impressions  are  everything  ,  ANYWHO  this  is  my  mans WARNER  played  by  my  mans  GRAYSON DOLAN  ,  who  lacks  f’n  resources  so  i  gotta  work  some  magic  w/  all  these  gifs  on  tumblr  lmao  so  any  gif  icons  are  noT  mine  for  the  most  part  they’ll  be  taken  from  gifs  alr  created  (  s/o  2  the  fly  hunnies  that  made  ‘em  )  anyway  ya’ll  don’t  really  care  abt  me  lmao  soooooo here’s warner ! PLS  feel  free  to  hmu ANYTIME  for  the  plots  &  things  of  that  nature  u  could  lit  never  bother  me  idc ,  my  discord  is  𝐫𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐲𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐳𝐢#1643 if  u  everrr need  to  get  ahold  of  me  when  im  not  on  tumblr  !

         𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍, cismale, he/his. → look out, there’s 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐃. you know, the 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘  year old 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 of 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐀 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐀 𝐌𝐔. you know, i overheard someone say that they were 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄, 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 , 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆  and 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐃. but that’s just rumours. fresh new pairs of air jordan 1's, the roar of a crowd in a stadium, and lost weekends come to mind when i think of them. what about you? [ ruzzy, he/him, 18, est ]

TW : CANCER MENTION  ,  SMOKING  MENTION  .

//   »    GENERAL      :

FULL NAME   :   warner     evangelino   alexander       vandergeld       (   inspired by the antagonists of white chicks lmaooo   )     .

HOMETOWN  : new  york  city  ,  new york  .

NICKNAMES   :   dumbass   .

AGE   :   twenty  .

BIRTHDAY   :   october twenty-first   .

ZODIAC   :   libra   .

GENDER   :   male   .

PRONOUNS   :   he      &      him   .

NATIONALITY   :   american   .

ETHNICITY   :   german  ,   italian  ,  irish   .

LABEL(S)   :   the   golden boy   ,   the   lothario   ,   the   jock   .

TROPE(S)  :  chick magnet  ,  hormone-addled teenager  ,  unwitting pawn  , upper class twit  ,

OCCUPATION   :  college student  &  collegiate football player  & full time frat bro  .

FRAT : beta lambada mu  .

MAJOR   :   environmental science  .

POS  : charming  ,  charismatic  ,  brave  ,  athetic ,  dedicated  ,   eco-friendly  ,  high-moral compass  ,  book smart  ,  kind  ,  energetic  ,  optimistic  , loyal (  most of the time  ) ,�� respectful  ,   well-rounded  ,  level-headed  , ambitious  ,  debonair  ,  life of the paty  .

NEG   :  compulsive  ,  easily-influenced  ,  dimwitted  , hypersexualized  ,  problematic  ,  addictive  , rebellious  ,  bemused  ,  defensive  ,  clingy  ,  hopeless-romatic  ,  overly-competitive  ,  envious .

INSP  : nate archibald  (  gossip girl  )  

//   »    PAST      :

          warner   was  born  &  raised  in  the  city  that  never sleeps  and    is  the  product  of  evangeline   moretti-vandergeld  , an   intelligent   american-italian  socialite  turned   environmental   politician  ,   and  captain  william   vandergeld  ,  a  former   navy   captain  ,   and  now   a   shareholder   in   some   boring   fortune   500   company   that   allowed   his   wife   and   son   to   live   an   affluent  ,   and   privileged   life  . his   mother  however  ,   was   the   real deal  ,   often   using   their   sum   of   wealth   to   donate   to   multiple   charities  ,  organizations  , etc, she was  dedicated  to  keeping  new  york  city  (  and  all  who  lived there  )  clean  and  safe   , and  she instilled  those  same  values  onto  her  son.

          some people are born lucky  ,  and others  ,  lucky  to  be  born  .   warner  was  the  first  option  .  his childhood  was  nothing  short  of  happiness  ,  and  happiest  days  were  with  his  mother  ,  for  as  long  as he  could  remember  ,  any happy  moment  in  his childhood  was  faded  right  into  her.

          things  took  a  drastic  change  his freshman  year  of  (  private  obvy lmao  )  high-school   .   warner’s  mother  was  diagnosed  with  breast  cancer  ,  and  little  to  his  knowledge  ,  it wasn’t  looking  pretty  from  the  start  .  she was  frequently  in  and  out  of the hospital  for  a  few  months  at  a  time  and  it  was  not  looking  good  on  any  fronts  .  one  day  when  she  went  to  the  hospital  it seemed  like  she  never  left  ,  maybe  she  didn’t  ,  those  days  were  a blur  for  warner  to  be  honest  .  watching  his  mother  lose  life  , every  single  day  was  not  a task  he  was  up  for  .

          by  then  it  was  just  warner  and  his  father  ,  they  were  all  they  had  in  the big  city  . (  when  he  wasn’t  always  away  on business  )  warner  grew  up  in   that  big  luxy  town  house  all  by  himself  ,  with  the  company  of  loyal  maids  ,  chefs  ,   and  nannies  of course  .  but  in  high  school  , the  more  he  really submerged  himself  into  it  ,  it  was  a  crazy  world  &  he  loved  it  .  whilst  getting  demands  from  his  father  in  tokyo  to  attend  those  boring  sailing  classes  ,  warner  instead  headed  out  to  their  beach  house  in  the  hamptons  for  an  early  20  rager  .

       warner  undoubtedly knew  the  power  he  possessed  ,   big  man  on  campus  type  &  it felt  good  , until  about towards  the  end  of his  junior  year  he  was  honestly  all   partied   out  ,  but  of  course reputation  is   everything  ,  in  order  to  keep  up  thats  when  he  picked  up  the   real  ugly  habits  ,  that  were  of  course  fun  .  smoking  numerous  amounts  of  marijuana  ,  various  girls  in  -  and  -  out  every other  day  was  a  feeling  like  no  other  ,   he  knew  it  was  wrong  ,  he  knew  his  mom  would  be  ashamed  ,  him  doing  all these  things  and  not carrying  on  her  legacy  in  some  way .  but  he  couldn’t  help  himself  in a  all  honesty   ,   and   no  doubt  some  of  that  transitioned  over  in  college .

//   »    AES   :

          lost weekends partying  ,  chicken  wings  &  french  fries  ,  air  jordan  1′s  ,  gucci  guilty  cologne  ,  friday  night  lights  ,  clouds  of  smoke  &  red  eyes  ,  diamond  encrusted  jewelry  glistening  under  bright  lights  in  a  dark  room  ,  nike  sweatsuits  ,  game  winning  moves  ,  new  york  city  at  night  ,  hamptons  in  the  summer  ,  spring  break  in  miami  ,  impulsive decisions  .

//   »    TL;DR   :

(  and  some  stuff  i  probably  missed  oops  )  warner  is  a  conflicted  mama’s   boy  who  knows  half  the  shit  he does  is  wrong  but  can’t  stop  .  after  his  mothers passing  he had  an absent father  who seemed  to  always  be  away  on  business  ,  only  in  town  for  a  month  or  two  ,  missing  his sons’ multiple  feats   to  keep  himself  distracted  from  the  fact  that  his  wife  was  no  longer  with  them. created  immense daddy  issues  for  warner  ,  especially  since  he  was  a  standout  football  star  &  2x   stage  champ in  high  school  ,  and is  currently  playing  collegiality  for  the  irish ,  with  dreams  of  making  it  in  the  nfl  cause  screw  his  dad  he  don’t  wanna  go   2  the  navy   ,   or  work  for  dat  company # not  gonna  happen .  warner  took  great  advantage  of  wealth  &  his  fathers  absence  ,  but  he’s  lowkey  partied  out  in  college  ,  or  so  he likes  to  say  but  he fakes  it ‘till  he  makes  it bc  he  doesn’t  his  brothers  to think  he’s  lame . HE’S  LIVING  FOR  EVERYBODY  BUT  HIM  BASICALLY .

//   »    HEADCANONS    :

warner  is  on  a  football  scholarship  majoring  in  environmental  science  bc  although  he  most  likely  won’t  do  shit  w/  da  degree its  for  mommy  .

he can EASILY  be  manipulated  or  taken  advantage  of  ,  he’s  book  smart  but lowkey  dumber  than  a  fucking  box  of  rocks 

immastonerbyyoungthug.mp3  .  occasionally ,  but  ,  more  so  than  that  ?  he  always  manages  to  flush  out  his  system  in  time  if  needed  be  ,  but  he  loves  2  roll  up  #  stress relief 

a  BEAST  on  that  field  (  student  athlete  meme  here  )

has  all  the  canon  gray  tattoos  bc  fuck  what  dad  thinks  .  he  wears  a solid  16 inch gold  chain  ,  and  another  of  the same  length with  his  moms’  name  on  it  , never  fucking  takes  it  off  ,  showers  with  it  cause  he  can  .

ok  ........  he  rich  ,  but  like  not  i  can  do  whatever  i  want  rich  ???  he  may  not  ever  have  to  work  a  day  in  his   life  ,  but  he  don’t  got  the pull  u  think  he  does  w/  his  dumb  ass  u  probably  couldn’t  even  tell  he’s  got  money  with  his  minimalist  fashion  sense  .

he  has  a  higher  moral  compass  than  most  of  his  frat  bros  ,  but  the  stupid  shit  he does  ,  u most  likely  won’t  even  be  able  to tell  ,  he’s  definitely  a  serial  romeo  and  a  heartbreaker  ,  one  compliment  ?  he’s  ready  to  drop  his  pants  &  fall  in  love  w/   u  .

HE DUMB  ,  but  like  he  can  talk  his  way  into  &  out  of  anything  ,  most  of  the  time  ,  batting  those  big  brown  eyes  &  a  million  dollar  smile  has  saved  his  ass  on  multiple  occasions  .

//   »    WANTED CONNECTIONS   :

EX-GIRLFRIEND :  i’m  thinking  his  first  &  only  “  serious  “  relationship  while  in  college  .  were  going  pretty  steady  until  he  cheated  on  her  (  hmm wc  on  who  he  cheated  on  her w/ ??  ) ,  she  never  found  out  but  that  guilt  ate warner TF UP  so  he  cut  things  off  with  her  via  text  message  and blocked  her  number  ,  ignores  her  any  chance  he  gets  ‘till  this  day  ,  cause  he  doesn’t  have  any  balls  and  cannot  face  his  fears  .

FRAT BROS  : lowkey  what  i’m  MOST  excited  for  asdfgh  like  whoever  is  in  beta  lambada mu  hit  me  the  fuck UP so  we  can  discuss  dynamics  ,  roomates  ,  allat  .

FOOTBALL TEAM  : same  for  above  ,  he’s  lowkey  cocky  &  got  sly  comments  when  he’s  on  the  field  ,  he constantly  humbles  himself  but  can’t  helps  it  ,  he is  hot  shit  and  he  knows  it  , how does  his  team  feel  ab  that  ??  w/  his  defensive  ass  !

GOOD-LUCK CHARM  :  prolly  a  girl  (  bonus  points  if  a  cheerleader  ???  im  not  picky  tho  i promise  if  ur  muse  don’t  shake  poms  idc  )  it  happened  out  the  blue  ,  they  screamed  his  name  while  the  team  was  walking  out  for  a  game  ,  and  she  called  that  he’d  get  3  td’s  and  thats  exactly  what  he  did  now  they  joke  ab  it  and  shit  (  maybe  a  goodluck  kiss b4  games  bc  its  warner lolol  ) idk  i  came  up  wit  it  on the  spot but  i love  it.

//   »    MISC   :

i’m a dumbass  &  this  got  way  longer  than  i  expected  but  if  u  made  it   all  the  way  thru  ily . 

[cleaduvalls]

i watched all 20 episodes of spy kids: mission critical in about a week and here are my thoughts (3/5)

1.9

i havent watched this in like 2 days i dont even remember what happened last time

why is everything in the desert the desert sucks

alsjhiajgdf i love tom kenny

listen i know hes like a superandroid or whatever but i really hope he and therese fall in love

wait hold up. i thought they already had midterms???? like the did that before scorpion went to her fashion shoot. AND they were kupkakkes midterms. whats up with this school

no drinking in class???? rude. let them hydrate

that seems imbalanced

aHh

thats only like 10

also that book is dummy thicc

its ok ace my nose whistles too

shut up carmen youre just jealous because shes pretty

there are no seasons its a desert

ok dude stop breathing so hard

he JUST said that

anywhere between an hour and umm... 11 months

you put it on one page why are all the pages back

me but with physics

thats literally the best line in the whole series

juni how do you not know that you were at a safe H O U S E

theyve been gone for like 2 hours are they not allowed to study?????

what even is AWOL???

absent without leave. neat

talon gives off some big draco energy

tick tock???? how dare you

slkdhfa she called sir awesome honey shes such a mom

dont make it obvious

oh look they made it obvious

roll credits

i was in cleveland when i watched this episode - well actually i left that day - and i was s h o o k e t h

also hes right. no spy would be in cleveland. theres 3 buildings

oh me too

right bc shes the only “I.A.”

ew

eW

this isnt HARRY POTTER. or maybe it is. talon is a hardcore draco

oh right bc swearing is for Men™

update tumblr decided to break AGAIN (im boutta cry btw) so we lost about 5 minutes from the end of 1.9 and 7 from the beginning of 1.10

1.10

its a DOORBELL do they not have those in the outback steakhouse

lots of people. doofenshmirtz, other people who i cant think of right now, etc

???? no it wont????

did your troop leader not give you The Talk??? you NEVER go in the customers house

ace no. youre allowed to not buy treats

theres a triforce on her vest, too

shes just gonna go to another house yall. shell be f i n e

oh my God shes holding hands with mauly im gonna c r y

yeah its called saliva

nope only scorpion lives in a castle

stop bringing up spy sense and tell him you saw her glare at you

HES ALLOWED TO LIKE FOOD

how do you know that he doesnt have his phone if YOU dont know where it is and HE cant tell you

i love how she says "floor. ceiling. more thumb"

haha i found the birth of venus

oh and the creation of adam

hes like squidward, which would make sense bc goldies voiced by tom kenny who voices spongebob

"sebastian oliver" "shadow operative" S.O. nice

why do you have a trailblazers badge. youre 4. i didnt get one til i was a cadette

also sebastian???? isnt that the toymakers first name????? you cant have 2 sebastians

also why do you have braces. youre still 4

"SIR MEANIE FACE" IF SOMEONE SAID THAT TO ME ID BE D E V A S T A T E D

SCORPION LET HER CRY SHES F O U R

so really, spy sense DID help

oooooh, sentry duty, thats gotta hurt

WHAT THE H E C K YOURE F O U R

she looks like frickin plushtrap

aCE NO YOURW GONNA D I E

oh trust me they hurt me more than you know

dude theyre so thin youre f i n e

eh, still worked

clicking her teeth together so hard must H U R T

i think she can get out of there. also shes concussed now

why was that so quiet. why did it get louder

thats not a y shape

no, they spy kids

oh shiitake mushrooms thats what THEY said

whenever they say pinnoquinoxx i always think of pinnochio

ahdhhsjak i miss pizza parties 😔

well now we ALL expect it

also, no one????? pick a cooler code name. your regular name was cool and now youve ruined it

2.1

oh theres finally a skip intro option. im not taking it

stop saying that its weird

EWWWWWW CRUSTY THATS SO G R O S S

haha shes shopping w the goon. love that

oh yeah i didnt get to tell yall yet but i absolutely h a t e gablet

a lot of people, juni

listen i know a jt (but he doesnt go by jt) and uhhhhhhh were not gonna go there

why are you happy. what about second semester makes you so happy

boi thats a tardis

the design on his hoverboard looks like the aperture science logo

i paused to read the Floops label and it says "fried corn and sugar loop shaped breakfast substitute, net wt. 13 oz" ITS NOT EVEN A CEREAL ITS A BREAKFAST SUBSTITUTE IM C R Y I N G

listen i know hes technically scorpions dad but i dont think he can legally be in the dorm rooms

aww, thats sweet

i dont think gablet has an attached printer

gablet always sounds like shes mocking people

oh dear God its dolores umbridge

haha nerd

awesome no im gonna die

whenever carmen yells she sounds like link

ok so i didnt find a reason why she sounds like link but i DID find that theyre making a wherea waldo tv series so uhhhh thats fun

why does the cat have a bandaid

GABLET S T O P

OH!!!!!! ON THE WALL!!!!!!! ITS THE TUMBLR POST WITH THE FORK AND KNIFE ETIQUETTE PICTURE!!!!! YOU KNOW THE ONE!!!!!

oh no fart jokes

its even the basic fart sound effect

BAHAHAH MY PHONE VIBRATED AT THE SAME TIME HE FARTED THAT WAS WEIRD

oh no i hate him

stop SLURPING

uh yeah???? you heard them yelling about it

how??? does that work??? you cant just like catch electricity in a cup.... can you???? i havent studied it since 4th grade

oh worm??

goldies such a boomer

worm??

psi shouldnt be at the drawing board right now. he also shouldnt be confused

what happened to the lasers

wait nvm we havent gotten to that episode yet

ace is valid, dark is Scary

im gonna punch gablet in the face

that doesnt sound realistic

do you not have stairs??????

dont you mean inside AND out??

that flashlight did NOTHING

how did it die so fast?????

who else would you be talking to??

isnt that bowser from the mario movie we dont speak of??

i havent gotten a chance to tell yall but i absolutely love clemp. hes such a mood

hes the greatest spy

does it use a mini transmooker???? ig it doesnt bc gablet works but thatd be lit

SEE SHES IMMORTAL

me when i see something interesting

ME WHEN IM NOT ON MY PHONE

i dont think you can legally say that

you killed her

me

wow nice promo

also just???? bring a charger????? like youre the tech girl why do you not have one at all times

how?????? did you go so fast

machete electric bubbles??? nice

just task manager him

mother of all boards sounds like it could be a cuss...mother of all fuckers

also throwback to 1.7 when she says "his ai firewalled his motherboard" i keep expecting her to say "his ai firewalled this motherfucker"

yes i said keep ive watched that episode too many times to count

worm??

why did you giggle and make a flirty pose. are yall supposed to get together???

did you????? kill him????????? holy shit

2.2

thats what my dad does. he loves hospital corners

idc what it is you have a bazooka

ok if it was a spider id get it, australia has some deadly ones, but does it have deadly ants too???? like is that a Thing????

also ants in your room are gross

was that just a cameo??? i dont remember what happens in this one

haha because he said grapevines and wine has dregs and wine is made of grapes

for the boys??? thats so cute

listen idc how evil you are EVERYONE should cry over otters

so one of the parents has a sister or sister in law named roxanna..... hmmm.......

if you dont use your turn signal h*ck u

hes gonna D I E

i just looked at my shoe and i think theres blood on it???? what the h*ck

suspicious??? about.... what???? having fears???? not being perfect?????

juni that was awful wording

JUNI WHAT DID YOU D O TO HIM

like i know what he DID but the way it plays out makes it seem like something significant

i thought his name was heavy meddle not.... deth metal???? thats how the subtitles spell it

hahah me

he sounds like bling bling boy

yeah ik im a fool thanks for reminding me

what are you gonna do??? kill juni????

POOR WORD CHOICE JUNI

oh he gives exactly 0 h*cks

a shoe doesnt make that sound

crack bugs?????

see thats why you dont mess with things

im a god among boys??????? what????

did you... kill them????????????

thats any australian person

theyre so stupid i love them

good i hate her

i thought the gunk just like... disappeared from the guitar but actually it shot off

he died... 😔

uhh.... yeah????? was it not obvious?????

me when i have 5 dollars