#she often smirks but smiles????? nope that one is reserved for SPECIAL occasions

[lilith-lovett]

Found Families - Home is Where the Hart is - Chapter Eight

I have been looking forward to writing this chapter since the beginning but now I’m not entirely happy with it and I wish I would have split it into two separate chapters as it took absolutely forever to write but here we are. And as per usual I hope you enjoy this update.

Masterlist

Summary: The day of Logan and Patton day out finally arrives.

Word Count: 6008 (this is a monster chapter I am so sorry)

Warnings: Implied child abuse, self-deprecation, anxiety, disordered eating, food mention. (Not as many as usual this a fluffy chapter but if there is any I have missed please let me know).

Logan found himself on the day his outing with Patton was scheduled pacing back and forth in Maggie’s office, partaking in one of his counting rituals as he waited restlessly for Patton’s arrival. It had been three days since Patton’s last visit but to Logan it felt like an eternity (though it definitely hadn’t been as that would be physically impossible). Waves of anxiety crashed within his stomach, his heart pounded against his rib cage. Why was he feeling like this? It was merely an outing, not a matter of significance or an event which would drastically alter his existence. But why did it feel so?

Maggie had been carefully studying him since he arrived, glancing up ever so often from her marking to observe him metaphorically wearing a hole in the floor where he paced. Logan could sense her eyes on him but couldn’t bring himself to meet her gaze, knowing it would surely prompt a conversation regarding his rather confusing emotions. So, he continued to pace. Walking back and forth, back and forth until a hand on his shoulder physically stopped him in his tracks. Maggie guided him to the arm chair, urging him to sit, which he did, although begrudgingly. Though resting his aching legs certainly brought about some relief. Maggie situated herself in front of the arm chair presumably to prevent him from escaping, to silently stim until he broke.  

“Logan, I know you are nervous but if Mr Hart is everything you tell me he is. I can assure you everything will be fine,�� Maggie said offering a warm smile, settling the apprehension in his stomach. “Do you trust him?”.

The question caught Logan off guard. His trust had been betrayed and broken so often and by so many, he found it exceedingly difficult to build meaningful relationships any more especially finding someone he considered close enough to warrant or deserve his trust. He had determined previously that despite his growing fondness for Patton he didn’t trust him but should he? Put his trust into the man who had been nothing but kind and patient with him but what of the consequences? Could he afford to have his trust broken again? What would be left?

“It is okay if you don’t, building trust takes time,” She said taking Logan’s elongated silence as her answer. “But if you continue to be open with him and show a little more of the real you I know is in there, I think you could learn to,”. Maggie returned to her desk, allowing Logan to process what she had said. It was true. Logan had been more…open as of late specifically with Patton, an action completely out of character for him but Patton was a special case, like no potential parent he had ever met before and he was showing interest in Logan. At times Logan struggled to comprehend why. He commonly found himself searching for the ‘why’ in every scenario. In processes, engineering, human behaviour but Patton perplexed him. Logan could never detect a singular reason or motive for his actions, Maggie assured him that is was Patton’s ‘fondness’ for him which drove him but Logan couldn’t bring himself to believe it.

“You better introduce me, I need to meet the man you are clearly smitten with,” Maggie said giggling at Logan’s pouted expression.

 Eventually, Mrs Davis found and dragged Logan away to make himself presentable. With a final glance back at Maggie, she gave him an encouraging thumbs up, a action he returned before she disappeared from view. Now, trapped in the bathroom, scrubbing at his tired features though his heightened mood these past few days had, had a significant impact on his appearance. Looking far less exhausted then he had done the week prior. He dragged a brush through his hair, the sting barely there and dressed in his best clothes he preserved for special occasions. Once his appearance had been deemed acceptable, he was directed to his and Patton’s regularly meeting room, to wait anxiously for Patton’s arrival.

He found himself unable to sit still, the constant bouncing of his thigh swiftly growing irritating. So, he instead turned to pacing the length of the moderately sized room, weaving his way through the obstacles scattered throughout the room each time taking a different pathway to the opposite side. He steered himself clear from the window, knowing if he let his mind settle for a second he would be stuck staring out of it, scanning the streets outsides for Patton’s vibrant yellow jacket. So, Logan kept moving. Occupying his mind with memory puzzles and thought-provoking questions and topics for his next research project. Which worked, for a short while until the incessant ticking of the clocking grew to loud for him to ignore. The knowledge that each second which ticked by was a second closer to Patton’s arrival and the first time he is leaving the confines of the orphanage in the almost two years of him being there, was suffocating.

Logan sensed his body moving independently towards the window despite the protests from his mind, his body simply would not obey and he found himself in an all to familiar position. Stuck to the window, staring out at the blurred shapes below. It was a fruitless endeavour. Logan knew this. His poor eyesight had deteriorated to the extent where his current glasses did little to improve his vision, which did make getting around a lot more problematic than it otherwise would have been. But yet he found himself there anyway, squinting his eyes, searching for any indication of Patton’s arrival. Luckily, Patton’s luminous yellow jacket came into view a short while later. He was here. He was actually here. He had kept his promise. Logan felt as if a sizeable weight had been lifted from his shoulders as a smile crept onto his face. He was finally getting out of here. It may only be for the day but even a minute outside of the constricting walls of the orphanage would feel like heaven.

The patter of footsteps alerted Logan to an approaching presence and the door opened to reveal Patton, dressed in pale blue polo shirt, tan coloured trousers and a glimpse of his grey cardigan from beneath his raincoat. The minute he entered his face broke into a grin which Logan couldn’t help but return.

“Hiya Logan, are you ready to go,” Patton asked.

“Yes I am. But do I now get to know what you have planned?” Logan responded. Desperate to know what Patton had planned for their outing, he’d spent many of his days and nights theorising plans for their upcoming excursion.

“Nope, it’s a surprise,” Patton exclaimed his smile growing even wider while Logan’s fell marginally a deep pit of anxiety growing within his stomach. He loathed not knowing, unable to prepare suitable precautions or reactions leaving him completely in the dark.

Patton presumably noticed the uncertainty which laced Logan’s expression as his own facial expression melted into one of understanding and concern as he made his away over to Logan’s position in the centre of the room.

“It’s alright Logan, I promise I will not force you to do anything you don’t want to. If anything I have planned makes you uncomfortable or anxious we will leave immediately. Don’t worry I have lot’s of ideas in mind I think you’ll love. Do you trust me?” Patton asked

“I-I…t-trust you,” Logan stuttered though he did not quite believe it himself he felt it was the correct answer though his mind was put at ease by Patton’s words. Despite that he struggled to meet Patton gaze but Logan’s reserved response seemed to not deter him.

“Should we go now?” Patton asked gesturing to the door.

“Yes,” Logan replied.

Minutes later, Logan and Patton walked out of the orphanage side by side. Catching the glares of both the children who had slipped into the foyer to witness Logan’s departure, their faces fixed into deep scowls and the matrons who whispered to each other under hushed breathes, watching through side glances. Though the one face which almost brought a smirk to his lips was that of Madame Claire, who stood erect in the centre of the foyer, arms crossed across her chest, her stoic expression poorly masking her agitation and dismay. Faces which disappeared from view as Logan stepped over the threshold into the outside world at Patton’s side, venturing out into the unknown for what he may later consider the greatest day of his life.

 The walk between the Orphanage - which Patton was glad to escape - and their first destination was filled with their usual chatter. Patton would introduce a topic of conversation and allow it to flow between the pair as he lead and Logan followed, apprehension evident in his movements. He had been cautious when deciding on locations to take Logan on their outing, to avoid making him uncomfortable, instead choosing places he hoped would draw the real Logan out of his shell and return the curious sparkle to his eye. Patton had to admit, he nearly cried upon hearing those three words. ‘I trust you’. He knew it wasn’t entirely the truth but he still held the hope that someday in the not so distant future it would become a reality.  

The journey passed swiftly and before long they had arrived at their first destination. The town’s largest book-store. Patton observed Logan as he studied the building, watching as his expression shifted from inquisitive searching to a child-like wonder at the realisation of their whereabouts. Patton wished he could capture the pure look of elation, painted across Logan’s normally stoic features and commit it to memory. The sparkling wide-eyes, glowing red cheeks Patton couldn’t help but squeal at his cuteness.

“Is this a book-store?” Logan asked a wide toothy grin spread across his face. Patton held back yet another squeal, this was the real Logan very few people would ever have the pleasure of meeting. The young boy who lit up at the mention of books, shedding his cold outer exterior whenever one of his favourite titles were mentioned.

“Yup, I thought we could get you some,” Patton suggested but as he did the smile disappeared, replaced with the same apprehension and unease as previously.

“Y-you shouldn’t waste any money on me,” Logan stuttered curling in on himself, one arm winding around his stomach. Patton’s heart clenched at the sight and the fact he didn’t believe he deserved something as minimal as a couple of books. Patton wanted to have a seriously talk with whoever made him feel like he didn’t deserve kindness.

“It’s not a waste if I want to,” Patton responded as he watched Logan process what he had said, his expression remaining unchanged.

“B-but…I-I,” Logan stuttered. Words forming on his tongue but never being said, shock painted clear as day across his face. Patton winced internally but it made all the more determined to make this the best day out ever for Logan.

“Okay compromise, one book,” Patton suggested. Praying Logan would agree, to see that smile and bright eyed expression returned to his face once again and for it to remain.

“I suppose one book would be acceptable,” Logan murmured barely audible but Patton took it as a success and ushered Logan inside.  

The look of awe returned to his face the minute the entered. Finally experiencing the sheer number of titles in its full glory. The store spanned an enormous three stories and he was positive Logan would insist on scouring every one of them in search of the book he really wanted. Patton trailed after Logan as he combed through the many shelves, picking up a book, reading the blurb or maybe the first few pages if it piqued his interest but then ultimately returned it to it’s correct position of the shelf. All while Patton provided his own opinions and a humourous commentary, while also challenging himself to come up with as many book-themed puns as he could resulting in light-hearted groans from Logan in response.

“Wait, this is a good one I promise,” Patton assured Logan who had stopped in his book hunt in order to listen. “I tried to make a reservation the other day but I couldn’t. Do you know why?”.

“Please don’t,”. Logan dead-panned.

“Because they were all BOOKED!” Patton exclaimed bursting into a fit of giggles as he received more than a few strange looks from some nearby strangers, gaining yet another exaggerated sigh from Logan but Patton could see the hint of a smile he was desperately trying to hide. So he counted it as a win.

Patton and Logan continued to make their way through the maze of shelves, from horror to fantasy to science fiction, pausing every so often so Logan could examine another title. He couldn’t help but smile at how domestic it felt, he wandered these shelves numerous time before with Roman, Virgil and Dee in tow but now with Logan by his side he felt one step closer to inviting a new member into his family. Through all of the three stories Logan’s enthusiasm never wavered, constantly rushing to the next shelf of potential choices, his lips moving but no sound came out.

“Hey Logan, what are you doing?” Patton asked as Logan returned another book to its correct position on the shelf.

“I am attempting to memorise the titles to recommend to Maggie when I return, she is also an avid reader,” Logan explained tracing his index finger along the spine of second book, studying the intricate front cover.

“Aw Logan, you are so sweet,” Patton squealed struggling to restrain himself from pulling Logan into a hug especially since the scarlet blush coating his cheeks made him look so gosh diddly darn cute.

“I am not!” Logan protested glancing away in embarrassment.

“Are too,”.

“Am not,”.

Their back and forth argument carried on for another five minutes, both far to stubborn to give in. Until Logan eventually admitted defeat and accepted the compliment, a shy smile creeping onto his lips. A short while later they finally reached the third story where Logan continued his search, a content smile stretching across his lip, the usual weight having dissipated entirely from his shoulders as Patton watched on, a pleasant sensation flowering within his chest.

Finally, once Logan had searched through every shelf in the entire book store he sprung towards Patton, a book clutched to his chest, practically vibrating with excitement and his eyes lit up like stars.

“Did you find a book?” Patton asked unable to prevent the steadily building squeal from escaping at Logan’s complete change in character; from the withdrawn boy he met at the Open Day to the passionate and full of life boy he saw before him now. Completely open and comfortable instead of surrounded by impenetrable walls, speaking freely instead of drowning in silence. This was the real Logan and Patton was so happy he had the privilege of being one of the few people to see it.

“Yes, its called The Murder of Rodger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie, Maggie informed me that it was one of her favourites and I have always wanted to read it,” Logan exclaimed thrusting the book towards Patton, bouncing slightly on his heels repeatedly.

“I’m guessing this is the book you want,” Patton giggled at Logan animated gestures as he was completely enthralled in his explanation of the novel.

“Um…Yes, I would very much like this book,” Logan mumbled hands halting in his enthusiastic explanation, fingertips raising to his lips which Patton had seen him do several times since meeting Logan, averting his eyes.

“It’s okay Logan, I want to,” Patton reassured Logan, knowing the guilt he presumably felt over the minimal expense despite the fact Patton desperately wanted to buy Logan more books then he could ever hope to read in a lifetime, but he knew things like this took time and effort but he was willing.

Logan responded with a nod, giving the book to Patton who held it as it were a precious artifact so not to crumple its pristine pages as he bought it, returning it to Logan who held the novel close to his chest. A soft smile appearing on his face as he did.    

Next they travelled to their second location of the day, it was a little further away then the book store which was relatively close by to the Orphanage and Patton could see the growing agitation in Logan. Visible in the uneasy silence between the pair and the tension present in his jaw and shoulders as they passed yet another row of shops and buildings. Patton placed a gentle hand on Logan’s taut shoulder who flinched, jolting back to the present before meeting Patton’s concerned gaze, offering a wobbly smile in return, turning back to the path ahead but Patton’s hand remained. Fingers moving in a repetitive circular motion for added comfort and assurance, knowing how the minimal action helped to calm Virgil when he was anxious and it seemingly also worked on Logan.

Couples and families smiled at the display as they passed, cooing at the relationship between the two, comments made in passing about how cute his son was without correcting them. He found he didn’t want to. He wanted so badly for this to become his new reality: to take Logan out for weekly outings to museums, aquariums and book-stores, to buy him more books then he could ever read in a lifetime, if only to see his face light up with a beautiful child-like wonder. Patton could imagine family dinners, all sat around the dinner table, talking about the mundane. Holidays. Easter spent painting Easter eggs and eating way to much chocolate. Halloween dressed in scary costumes, decorating the house for the occasion, baking all sorts of sweet treats. Christmas waking early, gathering around the Christmas tree to open presents and a home cooked Christmas dinner with family and friends to complete the night.

Patton could imagine it all. But was forced to abandoned those fantasies for the time being and focus on making this day out perfect for Logan.

                                                           ***

They arrived a short while later to their second location of the day. From the large buildings exterior it wasn’t obvious where they were. Patton snuck at glance at Logan’s curious gaze as he studied his surrounding. Patton could see the cogs and wheels turning from within his head attempting to figure out where they were. Pupils flickering over the structure, eyes carefully studying the exterior, searching intently for any clues linking to their location.

“Where are we, Patton?” Logan asked turning to Patton, having exhausted his own list of possible options.

“You’ll see,” Patton responded with a knowing smile obtaining a roll of the eyes and a half-hearted sigh in response from Logan who charged on ahead, Patton following suit.

The moment they entered a gasp erupted from Logan as he took in the sight. Beautiful, glowing stars, strewn across the blackness, forming marvellous galaxies. A rainbow of colours, exploding from within. Our solar system hung from the seemingly endless abyss, rotating around a vibrant sun which illuminated the darkness surrounding it. Constellations adorning the walls, painted with painstaking detail. The big dipper, the little dipper and many others Patton couldn’t identify but as he glanced over to Logan he could see entire universes in his wide eyes, filled with unshed tears, marvelling at the beauty surrounding them.

“Patton, what is this place?” Logan asked his voice coming out in breathy gasps as he admired the display, the stars reflecting in his eyes, body among the galaxies.

“It is a Planetarium, kind of like a space museum,” Patton explained as he observed Logan bouncing on his heels, hands vibrating by his sides in excitement at the mention of his very favourite topic of conversation. Patton had spent hours simply listening to Logan talk about space, watching as his eyes lit up whenever Patton broached the topic, as he expressed his innermost feelings and emotions through definitions and explanations and theories. Logan was truly out of this world. Pun intended.

Logan’s face lit up like it was Christmas day, stars reflecting in his wide shinning eyes filled with unshed tears at the magnificent sight. Patton knew Logan’s love of all things space well from their frequent conversations regarding recent scientific discoveries, fun facts Logan had learned and books Maggie had gifted him on the wonders of the Universe. A trip to the local Planetarium, he himself hadn’t had a chance to visit yet, seemed appropriate and venturing slightly out of town for the experience was entirely worth it for the look of pure elation on Logan’s face.

“I-I…thank you, Patton,” Logan said glancing away from the display to Patton, a wide toothy smile stretching across his face, resulting in yet another high-pitched squeal to be emitted from Patton.

“You’re welcome. Now let’s go find some good seats, shall we?” Patton replied stretching a hand out towards Logan instinctively but before he could retract his hand and apologise for his boldness Logan took it. His touch barely there, his palm clammy and his gaze severely averted from Patton’s. Oh my gosh, Patton’s heart may spontaneously combust if this kid gets any cuter.

Once Patton had gotten over his minor heart attack, he tightened his grip on Logan’s hand, leading him into the crowd. They found seats relatively close to the front for optimal viewing - Logan’s words not his - but with nearby access to an exit point in the event of Logan becoming overwhelmed or uncomfortable. Logan had since then let go of his hand instead allowing them to flap by his side, fingertips tapping repeatedly on his thighs as he bounced in his seat too enthralled by the show to notice his visible stimming and in the moment Patton found himself more focused on Logan’s look of awe, re-lighting his previously muted blue eyes returning the light to the Patton adored, than the images of stars and planets being projected onto the ceiling of the auditorium. He was truly incredible, he wanted to protect him for everything which sought to hurt him and someday - hopefully soon - he would.

“Pa…Patton…Patton!” Logan snapped Patton out of his daze, he shook himself off, focusing attention once again onto Logan who had been insistently poking Patton in the stomach for the past minute in a half.

“Oh sorry kiddo, I guess I was a little lost in…space,” Patton had with a giggle receiving yet another groan from Logan. “What was it you wanted to tell me?”.

“Oh yes. Did you know their is a planet which may be made out of diamonds?” Logan said lowering his voice after gaining a few pointed glares from the people seated around them. Could Logan get any more adorable? Patton wasn’t sure how much more his fragile heart could take.

“No I didn’t,” Patton responded hoping to prompt an explanation from Logan, which it did.

“Its called 55 Cancri e and scientists at Yale believe its surface may be made up of graphite and diamond and despite it being 40 lights years away it is visible in the constellation Cancer,”Logan explained beaming as he shared some of his knowledge.

“Wow kiddo that is really cool,” Patton said watching Logan blush under the praise but they were interrupted by a sharp shush from the row in front. “How about you tell me more later, okay?

Logan nodded in response returning to watch the show, eyes flittering across the images of the night sky being painted across the ceiling of the auditorium, galaxies and constellations reflecting in his irises and there they both sat for the remainder of the show, in near silence, apart from the gasps of wonder emitted from Logan each times the images changed revealing yet another beautiful sight. Once the show came to an end, they along the rest of the crowd shuffled towards the exit points, Logan excitably rambling on about the new facts he had learned, without even pausing to take a breath until he suddenly stopped. Patton halted in his walking also, glancing back towards Logan he saw him sinking his teeth into his lower lip in attempt to prevent the flow of words. It hurt, to watch Logan intentionally silence himself, Patton wanted to have a serious talk with whoever made Logan feel like he couldn’t express himself.

“How about we move onto our next location?” Patton suggested hoping it would distract Logan from his presumably negative mental spiral and prevent him from retreating to far into himself.

“That sounds agreeable,” Logan replied his voice soft and barely audible but he hadn’t lost his voice entirely so Patton counted it as a success.

They left quickly, returning to the outside. A crisp breeze had picked up since they entered the Planetarium, ruffling Patton golden locks which he had made an effort to tame this morning. Logan still remained silent and in order to fill the increasingly awkward silence Patton began telling Logan all of the space puns he could think of, though his personal favourite was ‘Why did the sun go to college? Because he already has a million degrees’ which received a soft chuckle from Logan and in no time at all they arrived at their third and final location.

“Are you hungry?” Patton asked he received no verbal response but instead a well-timed stomach grumble which gave him his answer. “I’ll take that as a yes,”. 

They entered the quaint and cosy Cafe ‘Beans & Cream’ where Patton worked a considerable number of years in his youth while trying to get back onto his feet after the incident with his parents. He still visited it often with Emile and had remained close with the owners and many of the baristas ever since. The minute he stepped through the door and he heard the pleasant jingling of the little bell, he was hit with the all too familiar scent of rich coffee beans and sweet smelling cakes. Jugs of brightly coloured wild flowers sat on the table of each both, a stark contrast to the dark wood which gave the whole place a cosy cabin feeling. His stomach grumbled loud in response and he lead Logan to an empty booth in the back corner of the Cafe, sinking into the decorative cushions as Logan busied himself with the menu.

Patton eventually chose a chicken and salad wrap, orange squash and a white chocolate chip cookie for dessert, while Logan chose a much simpler cheese and tomato sandwich, accompanied by a glass of water. While Patton considered Logan’s portion too small he kept his opinion to himself, Logan was noticeably skinny but he hoped he was simply reading to much into it. He had a habit of that. So instead returned to their former conversation of space, where Logan once again came out of his shell but Patton couldn’t help noticing Logan had yet to touch his food. Instead meticulously cutting the already small sandwich into much smaller sections before finally taking a bite. The conversation had faded into comfortable silence while they ate but Patton made sure to glance up at Logan every so often, observing as he picked apart his sandwich, taking generous sips of water in between each minuscule bite until he stopped.

Logan set his knife down, pushing the plate away from him still with exactly half of his sandwich there, swallowing the remainder of his water and settling back into the cushions surrounding him but Patton couldn’t help but be concerned. It had been a few hours since they had left the orphanage and Patton was ravenous, polishing off his entire main and dessert in a matter of minutes yet Logan made no move to eat the remainder of his lunch.

“Are you okay Logan? You haven’t eaten very much,” Patton said unable to mask the underlying concern in his voice.

“I am quite alright, I am merely full,”Logan said in that nonchalant way of his. Patton nodded, not entirely convinced but he didn’t want to ruin their day out by worrying. So he kept quiet and went to pay before they departed and gradually began to make their way back to the Orphanage.

The trip back to the Orphanage was considerably quieter than the journey from as the streets were near desolate, the crowds of people who had previously cluttered the streets dispersing as time passed and it grew later, the sky darkening and the chill present in the air, spreading goosebumps along Logan’s arms but yet he was warm inside. He walked side by side with Patton, his shoulder brushing against Patton’s forearm, slowing his pace in order to extend his time with Patton before being forced to return to the Orphanage. Today had been one of the greatest days of his life; wandering the shelves of the book-store, allowing his fingertips to graze the spines of the titles, witnessing the most magnificent sight of his life, viewing the wonders of the Universe in all of their glory without the fear of being punished and he had Patton to thank for that. Patton had remained relatively quiet for the remainder of the journey until he slowed, pausing to speak.

“Hey Logan, Madame Claire is quite the character isn’t she?” Patton said with a gentle smile though Logan wasn’t quite sure what about her personality he was referring too but the upon mentioning her name Logan tensed. What had she told him? Had she convinced him to give up on him? That he wasn’t worth the effort. Logan couldn’t say he didn’t agree but he thought their day out was quite enjoyable or was it merely a final act of kindness before he broke the news?

Patton had presumably taken notice of Logan’s increased level of panic and his expression shifted into one of concern as he placed a gentle hand on Logan’s shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into the taut muscles there. Logan allowed this contact and nodded, encouraging Patton to continue his story.

“She thought I was a first time parent, it gave her quite the shock when she learned I have three kiddos at home,” Patton continued pausing every other word to release a quiet snort and chuckle.

“I apologise. Upon first meeting you I also assumed from your youthful appearance and sunny disposition you were a first time adopter,” Logan admitted averting his gaze from Patton’s.

“Oh it’s okay kiddo, I’m used to it. One time One of Roman’s teacher mistook me for his older brother and during a parents evening kept asking when our parents would be arriving,” Patton explained before bursting out into a fit of giggles which brought a smile to his own face, banishing his former negative spiralling thoughts.

They walked in silence a little further and Logan began to recognise their surroundings, they were getting close to the Orphanage. Logan’s heart clenched within his chest. He didn’t want this day to ever end. He knew it was a childish notion, they both required proper nourishment and a healthy sleep schedule but it didn’t prevent him from praying for a few more hours with Patton. Once again Patton paused outside the gate of the Orphanage as if he was prolonging the inevitability of their day out coming to an end.

 Hey kiddo, can I ask you something?” Patton asked before immediately retracting his statement. “Ah, sorry, bad wording. What I wanted to ask was, now you don’t have to say yes, you could say no and that would be completely fine. I mean…”.

“Patton, you have to ask me your question before I can offer a suitable answer,” Logan said cutting off Patton’s rambling.

“Ah yes, sorry kiddo,” Patton paused. “What I wanted to ask was. If you would like to meet them, my kids that is,”.

Logan froze. What was Patton asking? For him to meet his children, who Patton already thought extremely highly of, evident from their frequent conversations regarding them. Would this be the deciding factor? If Logan was worthy or not. It made perfect sense in fact, judging whether or not Patton’s children approved of him before continuing to interact with him.

“It is okay if you don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable doing so but I think they would really like you,” Patton assured Logan with a comforting smile stretched across his lips, a smile Logan felt he could trust.

“You want me to meet them?” Logan asked a hint of hesitation in his voice which faded once Patton nodded granting him all the reassurance he needed. “Okay,”.

Patton face split into a grin but it disappeared just as quickly as he lead Logan back through the gates, into the Orphanage and entering through the foyer where Mrs Davis sat, typing on her computer.

“Hello, how was your day out Logan?” Mrs Davis asked presumably because Patton was present, knowing she wouldn’t cast a second thought to Logan otherwise.

“It was satisfactory,” Logan responded turning once again to Patton who had been waiting patiently at the door for him. “May I introduce you to someone?”.

“Of course kiddo, I can’t wait to meet them,” Patton said flashing Logan a grin before gesturing for him to lead the way.

Logan smiled faintly to himself. Maggie would surely love Patton and he himself couldn’t wait to disclose every detail of his and Patton’s outing with her and she would surely gloat, claiming she was right and that he should take her advice more often.

And thinking back, to the day he had spent with Patton, maybe he would.

Notes: Can you tell I’ve never been to a Planetarium so I have no idea if what I have written is entirely accurate but oh well and I know Logan’s science fact about the planet made out of diamonds is a little outdated but I still thought it was really cool but if anyone has any cool facts about space I would love to hear them.

Tag List: @i-do-not-dislike-fudge @poems-art-darkness-n-more @alex-cain @amber1594 @darkrainbow333 @unofficialweatherguru @lovingcreatorstrawberry @mason-does-a-thing @callboxkat  @tacohippy56900 @anxiousangel121 @comicsimpson @harrypotternerdprincess

If you like to be added to the tag list or have a question about the series please do not hesitate to ask.

[raybansandcoffee]

A New Life in New York: Dangerous Night (Thirty Seconds to Mars)

So I have a huge multi-part piece I’m working on but the lyrics of “Dangerous Night” by Thirty Seconds to Mars inspired me to write this late last night and I cranked out 2,500 words in a matter of a few hours. I hope you enjoy it.

Harry

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

As I snuck up the stairs I could hear her singing along to music in the bathroom. Thirty Seconds to Mars. She often swore Jared Leto was at the top of her ‘hall pass list’. I liked to inform her that she was at the top of every list I had to try and make her feel guilty. It never worked. She got in this mood when she’d put on Thirty Seconds to Mars before I took her out on a date. 

“What a dangerous night to fall in love. Don’t know why we still hide what we’ve become. Do you wanna cross the line? We’re running out of time. A dangerous night to fall in love,” she sang almost perfectly. She had the voice of an angel somedays and in moments like this that of a sexy siren.

“Hi there,” I said as I leaned up against the door looking at her as she got ready in the mirror. She was close to being done, I could tell because she had a full face of makeup, minus lipstick. Though she was still in booty shorts and a tank top, her usual outfit when she got ready. We hadn’t been together long but I knew her every move when getting ready. I’d laid in bed enough times watching her do this. She was almost always late getting ready or perhaps I was always early because I loved laying in her room watching her as she did this.

“Hey. I’m almost ready.”

“You’re fine.”

“You look nice.” Her eyes gave me a once over in the mirror. Black pants and a black dress shirt with a few too many buttons undone. It usually drove her wild. I’d left my jacket downstairs in the kitchen when I’d dropped Harper off to Elizabeth and Nellie. My Mom had a few friends in town from England so she was out with them tonight and Elizabeth had volunteered to watch everyone.

“Thanks, I have a hot date tonight. Thought I’d impress her.”

“So are you going to tell me what we are doing tonight?” she questioned.

“Nope.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t. You just hate surprises.”

“That too.”

“So you were singing along to your boyfriend when I came up here. You’re in a good mood tonight?”

“I am. I got in a good workout this morning, my trainer is kicking my ass.” She winked at me, I did kick her ass in the gym this morning. “I knocked my piece out of the park and met my deadline AND my editor loved it, it should go live tomorrow. I did a guest appearance on a podcast this afternoon. It was an all around awesome day and now I have this date tonight with this guy that is sort of makes me happy.”

I reached for her hand and pulled her back towards me. My arms wrapped around her as I bent down to kiss her. When she was barefoot she seemed so tiny. I wanted to pick her up and carry her into the bedroom but we weren’t there yet. We were taking our time to get to know each other. I was ready, I’d been ready basically since the first night we ran into each other at the bar after the doctor’s office run in. But her situation was different from mine so I needed to give her the space she needed. I would wait until the end of time if she needed me to and constantly told her that. She was worth waiting for. My hands slipped down her body and landed on her ass. I felt her smile against my lips. She pulled back and smiled up at me.

“So no hint at all about tonight?”

“Nope.” She glared at me before going into her closet. 

“How am I supposed to know how to dress?” she yelled out to me.

“Dress sexy.”

“You tell me I’m sexy in my sweatpants when we watch TV on the couch with the kids on Saturday mornings.”

“Oh because you are sexy when you’re in your sweatpants with the kids on Saturday mornings. Hot Mom Status. Tonight, think sexy girlfriend. Channel the mind of a woman who doesn’t have to worry about kids at home because we have excellent childcare tonight.” She was quiet for a little bit minus her occasional singing along to the music that was still playing fairly loudly in her bathroom.

“How does this look?” She had on a short black dress that had a layer of lace over the top of it with a black leather jacket.

“Sexy as fuck.”

“Alright then, let’s go.” We walked downstairs and she went to give all of the kids hugs and kisses and tell them goodnight since I’d told her we wouldn’t be home before their bedtimes.

“I’ve got everything handled,” Nellie said. 

“Thank you,” I replied quietly. Janie turned to look at me and smiled. “Come on, love. We’ll be late for our reservations.”

“Alright littles. I love you all. I will see you in the morning.” She kissed the top of all three of the kids’ heads where they sat at the island eating the mac and cheese that Elizabeth had made them for dinner. She was determined to feed Harper like ‘a normal child’ as she constantly told me. I’d tried so hard to keep the processed crap out of my kid but she was so happy eating her Kraft dinner with the other kids that I couldn’t resist the cheesy kisses she’d give me before we walked out the door for a date night. “Any hints yet?”

“Nope.”

“Still hate you.”

“Still lying.” The doors of the elevator opened and I grabbed her hand as we headed through the lobby as we walked out onto the street I saw the car service was waiting for us.

“Mr. Styles, Ms. Finnigan,” the driver said as they opened the door.

“A car service tonight?” she asked as we climbed into the back.

“Yup.”

“I’m used to you trying to be a man of the people, forcing me to take the subway.”

“Well, tonight is a special night. So we get a car.”

“Special night, huh?”

“Yup. I mean it is one month from our first date.” I watched her mouth drop open. “Surprised I remembered that?”

“I am,” she said. “More so shocked that I didn’t. Isn’t that a girl thing?”

“It typically is but you my love are not a typical ‘girl’ so I figured I’d take over that role.” She laughed before she leaned over and placed her head on my shoulder. The car drove us through the city until we reached the restaurant I’d picked for dinner. We went in and were quickly whisked to a private dining area. 

“You went all out.”

“I did. And this is only the beginning.” 

“Still aren’t gonna tell me are ya?” I shook my head and smirked at her. “Jackass.” We talked about our day with each other as we ate, made plans for the week ahead because while both of us claimed we didn’t care, Valentine’s Day was on Friday. She tried to convince me that tonight could count as more than one special occasion. Our Fridays since we started dating had been just as hers had been before me, pizza and movies with the kids. It was perfect and she didn’t want to mess that up for a cheesy commercial holiday. It made me fall for her even more that she put her kids, and lately my kid, above anything else. 

“So can we go out on Thursday then if we can’t do Friday night?” I asked.

“You have work stuff Thursday night. You were rambling about it at the gym today. Some meeting that involves dinner and drinks with record execs.”

“Fuck, yes I do. Come with me to that.”

“I was supposed to have girls night.”

“With who? I thought your Mom’s Night Out was Wednesday?”

“Your daughter and mine. Your mother and I were going to spend time with the girls because Jameson wanted to have some time with Finn. I figured if you had work that I’d spend some time with Anne and Harper.”

“While that is adorable, it truly is, how about my Mum watches the girls and you come with me. These execs all come with their wives or girlfriends or mistresses, you might need to play your who is who game with me when inevitably I get tired of listening to them tell me that I need to come out from behind the scenes and record an album.”

“I was really looking forward to time with you Mom and the girls but maybe I can get her to watch them and we can take them to that salon I found that does Mommy and Me spa days in the afternoon while Finn is at school.”

“I love the sound of that idea.” I signed the check before I looked at her. “Ready for our next stop?”

“There’s another stop?”

“There is.” I smiled at her as she rolled her eyes at me knowing that there wasn’t a chance in hell I was telling her what was coming next.

“Then let’s go.” I helped her put her jacket back on and we were quickly out of the restaurant and back into the car heading through the city again. Next stop was a bar we’d been to a few times to enjoy a few drinks and the live music they had there every night before our final stop. “Drinks at The Viceroy?”

“Sort of,” I replied as I took her hand helping her out of the car. Once inside the lobby I headed to the elevators. I knew the life she’d lived in New York and how her head was thinking. She assumed we’d head up to the roof for one last drink before heading home. When we stopped on the 28th floor I watched her face change a bit, especially as I unlocked the door to Suite 57. 

“What did you do?” she asked as she walked over to the wall of windows in the living room of the suite, complete with views of Central Park.

“I wanted tonight to be special.” Her eyes softened as she turned around to look at me. She held her hand out towards me. As our fingers touched she pulled me into her and kissed me. When I looked down at her I saw her eyes misting over a bit. “Are you crying?”

“No, but you are too perfect.”

“I don’t really think so, but I wanted tonight to be as perfect as it could be. The last month has been incredible. You make every day of my life immensely better than they were before I knew you. I don’t know how Harper and I were so lucky to find the empty seats beside you and Finn in that doctor’s office. That morning changed my life.”

“Mine too.”

“Jane Grey Finnigan, I love you.” I heard her breath catch and watched as she closed her eyes. That was when the first tear fell.

“I love you too.”

“Don’t just say it because I did. Our histories are different. You can take the time you need to tell me…”

“Harry, just shut up for a second.” She started to laugh at me. “Honestly, I was pretty sure I wasn’t ever going to find love again when Greyson died. That I’d had my chance, I’d gotten my one true love and was going to live the rest of my life alone. But you walked into that waiting room and changed my world. You have made me believe that it’s possible for me to love again and I’ve nearly shouted this at you every time you walk out the door to go home at night for the last week, I love you.” I bent down to kiss her and just as they had before in the bathroom at her house my hands wandered down to her ass, only this time I did pick her up and carry her into the bedroom.

I gently laid her down on the bed before laying on top of her. We’d done this before. We’d made out, we’d fooled around. We’d gone so far as to see each other naked a few times but until this point sex had been off the table. She was healing from a battered past, one that I didn’t want to complicate by forcing the issue of sex too soon. Waiting had been hard because she was unbelievably beautiful and everything about her enticed me. But I’d waited patiently for her to be ready. She’d started to hint that she was. She’d take things a little farther than she’d originally been comfortable with. She’d started getting ballsy enough that when we’d be up at night after kids were asleep having a glass of wine that she’d start to ask me what I was into sexually. Favorite positions? Best place I’d ever had sex? The kinds of things you talked about with a best friend but not often with a women you’d never gotten that intimate with. I knew it was her journalistic mind, always filled with questions and wanting to do her research.

“Janie, if you aren’t ready for this, we don’t have to,” I said as she pulled my shirt off and started for my pants.

“I’m okay.” She kissed me again as our clothes quickly made their way to the floor. We were slow. We were careful. This wasn’t something to do without thinking it through completely. It wasn’t just our lives that would be interrupted if we moved too quickly or messed things up. No longer was it a fling or just a pretty girl to chase. This woman consumed my every thought and emotion. This was something we couldn’t take back, something that would propel us into a different universe in our relationship.

“You are so beautiful,” I muttered against her skin. The connection I felt with her was more than just carnal desire. It was like our souls were bonded together. Our bodies moved in sync. She was timid, which was to be expected. Her eyes showed that she trusted me though. She knew I would get her through this hurdle she was facing. She hadn’t trust a man in this manner in a long time. 

She finally laid with her head on my chest as my fingers ran through her hair. She was tracing the tattoos that covered my chest. She was quiet and I didn’t want to force her to talk.

“What a dangerous night to fall in love,” I quietly sang. She glanced up as a smile spread across her face. “Don’t know why we still hide what we’ve become. Do you want to cross the line, we’re running out of time. What a dangerous night to fall in love.”

I can’t wait to hear what you thought of this little piece. Their first ‘I love yous’ and first time together from Harry’s perspective. Someday I might write it from Janie’s because she had to have a million thoughts running through her head in the process.

Now to get back to work on the multi-part piece I’m working on.

xx AM.