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quicksilversquared · 4 years ago

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More than a Match

Felix Graham de Vanily is back in Paris for the summer, determined to make amends with his cousin. While standing in for Adrien at a photoshoot, he has to deal with a most disagreeable character by the name of Lila.

Unstoppable force, meet immovable object. There can only be one winner here, and Felix is not about to lose.

links in the reblog

Felix Graham de Vanily was more than a little apprehensive about returning to Paris for his mom's summer movie shoot, and for good reason.

The last time that he was in the city, he had caused no small amount of chaos. He had threatened his relationship with Adrien over a (in retrospect) petty, poorly-considered attempt at revenge- how badly their friendship had been damaged really remained to be seen- and gotten off on the wrong foot with all of Adrien's friends, which could make finding people to hang out with more than a little difficult. During that same revenge attempt, he had truly behaved poorly towards one of the city's superheroes, and he would have to try to apologize for it if he could get close to the superheroes again without endangering his life. On top of that, he had palmed his uncle's ring, which- well, was it really stealing when Mr. Agreste had gotten them through less-than-honest means in the first place?- with the full expectation that it would be at least a year before he and his mom returned to Paris, so his uncle might have simmered down by then.

It hadn't been anywhere near a full year yet. His uncle would no doubt still be furious about the retrieval of the ring, and so Felix had to be very careful with it.

Right now, that meant wearing the ring on a strong chain around his neck, hidden under his shirt. If he was going to be spending more than the odd minute here or there in the Agreste mansion, he and his mom might end up looking into getting a safe box for them to lock the ring up in, so that his uncle wouldn't steal it back.

"Don't let on that you're nervous," his mom coached as their train pulled into the Paris stop. "Be confident, don't react to questions about the rings. With a little luck, perhaps your uncle will assume that he misplaced it. Emilie always said that he would mess with his ring when he was designing and she was worried that he'd end up taking it off and misplacing it for good. He's already called me once demanding the ring back and I told him that we didn't have it and maybe he had just lost it."

Which meant that Felix could just act bored about the accusation instead of being surprised. That was useful information.

"I also got us an apartment that's a bit further outside of the city center," his mom continued after a moment. "Both to stay out of the way of the majority of the akuma attacks, and to give us some space from your uncle. We're near a subway line, though, so it'll be easy enough to go and visit."

Felix nodded. His mom had already mentioned that, and he knew that there was a third reason, too: apartments of a decent size close to the city center were expensive. Their family might be wealthy, but (largely due to his father's influence, Felix suspected) they still had never be people to throw money around without due consideration first. "But Uncle Gabriel won't bother to come out and bug us?"

"Of course not. When was the last time that he left that house of his? And if he does- well, I have no problems with kicking up a legal stink. Gabriel would do well to remember that the only reason he has connections to the Mayor's family is because of Emilie and I, so he has no advantage there." Amelie sniffed. "Not that he'll bother to remember that. If anyone asks him, I'm sure he would say that he worked himself up from nothing and made all of his connections himself with his superior bargaining skills."

"Ah, yes, the scowling and yelling and refusing to meet in person is very persuasive, I had forgotten."

Amelie laughed. "Yes, exactly. Emilie was the one who handled more of the PR and meetings with investors, really. If Gabriel had been trying to do it himself, he would have failed miserably." She shrugged, turning back to him with a large smile. "Don't let your uncle ruin your summer, Felix. He roars and rages a lot, but he's always been all bark and no bite."

Felix nodded, taking a steadying breath as the train came to a complete stop and they got up, reaching for their bags. "Right. Of course."

Somehow, he got the impression that that would be easier said than done.

Really, it- it wasn't as terrible as Felix had thought. The summer had started out slowly- he had seen Adrien at dinner shortly after arriving in Paris, and then Felix had spent a week and a half entertaining himself while his mom started filming on the movie and his cousin finished up his school year.

It wasn't bad, really. He found a small bookstore that was cool and quiet, and he settled down there in a corner to read. It was nice and it was peaceful.

Alas, it was not to last. His mom expected that he would go hang out with Adrien, and so... Felix did. The first three times that he went over, the two of them simply hung out in Adrien's room for part of the day and played some of the video games that Adrien had around. His cousin seemed on high alert at first- Felix certainly noticed fewer things lying around his room, and there were several things with locks on them that hadn't had locks before- but willing enough to try again. By day three, their conversations were far more relaxed, and Adrien spent nearly an hour telling Felix about all of his friends. He wasn't bragging about having them, Felix could tell, but was just genuinely happy to have them and wanted to share that with him.

...unfortunately, Felix knew that it was more likely than not that a large number of Adrien's friends would not be very thrilled to meet him. He had not made a particularly good first impression, to say the least, and they- unlike Adrien- had not had any other interactions with him to go by. Felix didn't resent them for their judgement of him (after all, he rather deserved it, he could admit that much) but it would make meeting them a bit awkward, particularly if Adrien hadn't had a chance to mention how things were going now first.

Or if Felix hadn't done anything obvious to make amends for his earlier behavior. Thankfully, an opportunity to both put off the inevitable meeting and to make things up to Adrien properly practically fell in his lap after Nathalie scheduled a photoshoot right when Adrien was hoping to get together with his friends.

Or, rather, when Adrien had put a meet-up with his friends on his schedule and Nathalie deleted it last-minute to replace it with yet another photoshoot, because apparently she didn't know the meaning of fun. Or being nice, or kindness, or not being a terrible human being, really.

"Are- are you sure that you want to model, Felix? It's not exactly the most fun thing in the world."

Felix nodded resolutely, glancing towards his cousin's door and hoping that no one was eavesdropping on their conversation. "You want to be with your friends, and I would like to make a good impression this time around before meeting them anyway. It's no big deal. I can sit and make clothes look good for an hour or two."

At last, Adrien nodded in agreement. "I- okay, if you're sure. I'll text you the time and location, so you have it, and-"

"Won't your bodyguard be expecting to drive you there?"

Adrien paused. "...oh. Oh, yeah."

Felix tried not to sigh. Oh, yes was right. Clearly logistics weren't his cousin's strongest point.

"Well, I can ask him to bring me there early, so that I can have some time to relax in the park!" Adrien said after a moment's thought. "And then we can meet and swap outfits there- or I'll bring an extra, actually, it'll be less hassle. It'll be harder for me to get to Marinette's place from there, but I'll manage it. There's a bus line nearby that'll get me close enough."

"Your father actually lets you out enough for you to know how to take the bus?" Felix inquired, unable to help feeling a little incredulous. His cousin hadn't been allowed to walk to his collège, which was only a few mere blocks away, so he had assumed that his uncle had required use of the chauffeured car for all of his other travel. "Count me impressed."

A quick grin flashed across Adrien's face. "He doesn't let me out, exactly. I tend to sneak out. And then, of course, I need to know how to get where I'm going fast, or else I'll get picked up by the Gorilla right away before I have a proper chance of escape."

...that was just sad.

"Anyway, I should probably coach you if we're actually going to do this. You know, give you some pointers and all. Uh." Adrien twisted his ring around, glancing up at the ceiling as though that was going to help him any. "Um."

Felix rolled his eyes. "I hardly think that I'll need extensive coaching to be able to sit in front of a camera and pose."

"Yes, but-"

"Will I need to know several dozen poses to do in rapid-fire succession? I've heard that some models do that."

Adrien sighed. "No, Simon prefers to take more organic shots. I've been learning the fast poses on my own, in case I ever get a photographer who needs that or if I end up branching out and start modeling for catalogues instead of just ads, but Father prefers Simon's artistic vision. So he'll tell you what he wants in general, then give tweaks. Like, there's some moving my head around, maybe, but..." He trailed off, shrugging.

Well. If Felix actually needed any advice to pass off as Adrien during the photoshoot, he was pretty certain that he would be more or less out of luck. With advice like that, it would be a wonder if he wasn't left completely unprepared when he arrived.

"I've not had, like, professional training as a model or anything," Adrien added after a moment. "It's all been informal, which is maybe a bit unusual considering what father's like the rest of the time, but maybe it's good for publicity somehow or something." He shrugged, looking remarkably unbothered by the prospect of his father basing his decision on how to treat Adrien during photoshoots on what would sell best. "So just listen to Simon and don't forget to look towards the camera unless he tells you otherwise, and don't be too stiff but don't slouch, either, and-"

Felix tried not to sigh.

"If- if Lila's there, just- ugh. Just don't agree to anything she says, and- well, she still tries to lie to me all the time, even though I know better than to trust anything she says. She loves manipulating people, so..."

Adrien's comment about his sometimes-coworker- probably the most intriguing and useful part of his "advice" for the photoshoot once he actually managed to think of something to say- ran through Felix's head as he arrived at the site for the photoshoot, a lovely little park in a less busy part of the city. This Lila character sounded like trouble, and he wasn't much interested in trouble. Or in being manipulated, for that matter.

How very fortunate, then, that Felix had more than a little experience with manipulation. He would be able to spot any attempts coming from a mile away. From what Felix could gather, this Lila person was a sloppy manipulator at best, relying on flashy stories and crocodile tears to keep her influence. They were things that would perhaps work in the short term but would wear off and become ineffective in the long run, particularly once people started picking up on inconsistencies. Eventually, things would backfire on her, and then she would be left alone and hated.

Felix preferred more subtle manipulation, and (unless he was not thinking clearly) only when a situation warranted it. A little nudge here and there to increase the odds of things going his way was rather different than Lila's graceless shoves to make everything go her way, to get the kind of popularity that Lila clearly wanted. His technique was sustainable- after all, infrequent manipulations were less likely to be picked up on- while hers was not.

His cousin hadn't really said much about Lila other than to mention that she might be there and to not fall for her lies, but Felix already disliked her.

"Felix! You got here all right, good!"

Felix pushed away his thoughts and smiled as Adrien ran up. He had a bag slung over his shoulder, presumably with an identical outfit to the one that he was wearing. "Yes, I've had sufficient down time to figure out the system. It wasn't hard to puzzle out."

"Oh, great." Adrien glanced around, clearly making sure that he wasn't being followed, and then passed his bag off to Felix after pulling a smaller bag out from inside of it. "I have an identical outfit in here. Are you good, or...?"

"I'll be fine," Felix assured him. "Go on, go hang out with your friends." He paused and considered Adrien. "Ah, are you going to wear a disguise or something? You know, in case anyone takes pictures of you and posts them?"

Adrien nodded, pulling- surprise, surprise- a baseball hat and a large pair of sunglasses out of his bag. "Yeah, this will work fine! There's plenty of guys in France with blond hair, so as long as my hair isn't visible and they can't see all of my face..."

Felix hoped, for Adrien's sake, that that actually somehow worked and he didn't run into any of his more fanatical fans. Maybe the most basic of disguises would work against most of the population, but there were a few weirdos who probably prided themselves on being able to identify his cousin with the smallest of clues.

"Anyway, hopefully it'll work," Adrien finished after a moment's pause. He glanced back at Felix. "Are you sure you're good?"

"Positive. Go."

Adrien went. Felix watched him for a minute, then made a beeline for the public restrooms building that he had seen earlier. He hated the idea of changing in it, truth be told, but he hardly had a choice.

...well, maybe he could have coordinated outfits with Adrien yesterday and only had to fiddle with his hairstyle at the park instead, but hindsight was 20/20.

Despite Felix's worries, the bathrooms weren't bad at all. He changed quickly and did a fast brushing of his hair into Adrien's hairstyle- it was a little difficult to account for the difference in their hair length in a few places, but he managed it well enough- before leaving the restroom and tracking down the plaza where the photoshoot would be taking place. It was a fairly basic set-up, honestly- a small trailer with the outfits to be worn in it, an equally small tent for changing, a couple chairs for touch-ups to makeup and hair with a screen nearby to block the wind. A few things for lighting and the photography equipment were scattered around, but otherwise it was incredibly minimal.

He had to wonder what normal shoots- ones that weren't solely for the boss's son- looked like. Surely not everything that Gabriel did was so low-budget.

"Ah, Adrien, you're on time- early, even!" A man with a camera hanging around his neck- Simon, Felix assumed- appeared behind him, clapping him on the shoulder and making Felix startle. He chuckled. "That's a nice change from the past couple shoots, hmm?"

Felix only nodded, not sure what to say. In all honesty, he hadn't been expecting the photoshoot's staff to be talking to him much, other than to issue directions for the shoot itself. If he had known that they were likely to be chatty, he would have asked Adrien more questions.

Thankfully, Simon seemed willing enough to move on, immediately turning to the job at hand. The first outfit that "Adrien" was supposed to wear was already in the tent, so if he could just go ahead and change so that they could get started...

Felix was more than willing to comply. The sooner they started, then maybe the sooner they would finish. And while Felix didn't exactly have anything else that he wanted to do- hanging out at his cousin's house while Adrien wasn't there didn't sound like fun, nor was he particularly interested in crashing Adrien's friends' get-together- it was hot outside and changing into a dozen different outfits in quick succession and getting poked and prodded at wasn't Felix's idea of a good time.

Three outfits in, and Felix noticed a girl lingering around the edges of the photoshoot area. She wasn't getting shooed off by security, which meant that it was incredibly likely that she was meant to be there. And sure enough, a minute later, the girl headed into the second half of the changing tent.

That must be the Lila that Adrien had warned him about. Felix had rather hoped that he would get lucky and not have to deal with the liar, but apparently luck wasn't on his side today.

Or was it? Felix gave that a minute's thought. He had been a bit bored thus far, and doing a bit of manipulative sparring might be just the thing to spice up his afternoon. Little Miss Terror wouldn't be expecting it- after all, Felix didn't doubt that Adrien's approach to Lila was rather on the tepid side- and it might be amusing to throw her off her game. Going too far might alert her to the fact that he wasn't actually Adrien, though, and she might tattle, so that added another level of complexity, another thing to think about.

He was so busy trying to figure out how strong he would want to come off that he completely missed Lila snaking up behind him until thin arms slid around him in an entirely unexpected (and unwelcome) hug.

"Adrien! I'm so happy that we get to work together again!" Lila cooed, leaning forward to try to press a kiss to Felix's cheek. She missed when he dodged, just enough to get out of her path but not so far that it would look obvious. Lila pouted, but didn't make more of a fuss. "Aren't you?"

"Mmhmm," Felix murmured noncommittally, disengaging himself from Lila's groping hold smoothly to step away and move into the next pose that Simon had wanted. Lila was forced to back off for the remainder of Felix's solo shots, and then he could escape into the tent to change while she did a few solo shots of her own.

And then came the duo shots, aka the absolute longest forty-five minutes of Felix's life.

(Well. Okay, maybe there had been some other instances when time had stretched out far longer, but as far as normal everyday situations went- well, then this ranked waaay up there.)

Things had gone smoothly when Felix was on his own. Despite never having done photoshoots before- or at least clothing photoshoots, he had posed for a few family portraits over the year- he had gotten the hang of it right away. He followed Simon's instructions with little need for further correction, and the photographer had been beaming.

With Lila added to the mix, though? All of that was completely shot. She was completely unprofessional, and quite handsy to boot. Felix managed to get away from her hands most of the time, dodging where he could and stepping smoothly away to make it look natural, but it was absolutely aggravating.

Thankfully, he got a bit of a reprieve when he loudly complained that she had wrinkled the sleeve of the light coat that he was modeling with her vice grip on his arm and she got scolded.

Unfortunately, that reprieve only lasted for five minutes before she was right back at it. She didn't hold on nearly as tight as before when he had longer sleeves on, sure, but other than that there was no real change. If anything, she was brushing her hands over his shoulders and arms more often than before.

Needless to say, by the time the last picture of the last set of clothes had been snapped, Felix was more than eager to be done, change back to his- well, Adrien's- normal clothes, and be rid of the Italian pest for good.

But Lila clearly had other ideas.

"Oh, I think we could pose for a few more minutes, don't you, Adrien?" Lila purred, fluttering her eyelashes at him. Felix could see where her fake eyelashes were starting to come detached. Clearly she had no idea how to apply them correctly, considering that they had been crooked to start with. "Maybe some, ah, closer poses? Oh! I know! Summer romance always sells, right?"

Felix raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Slick, she was not. Her attempts at manipulation couldn't be any more heavy-handed. Or more distasteful. "I'll pass on that, thanks."

Lila's pout grew. "You don't want to? I think it would be fun! I thought that we were friends." The last word was bitten out with a bit of an edge to it, an unspoken threat. Felix had no idea what it was meant to be.

Forget his cousin coaching him about modeling, clearly Felix had needed more insider info on how to interact with Adrien's friends and classmates.

"It is far too hot outside to be close to anyone," Felix countered tartly, refusing to let himself pause in the conversation. "We have a number of photos already. I see no need to risk heat stroke for more. Additionally, this is a clothes company, not a manufacturer of cheap romance novels, and there was nothing about summer romance in the shoot briefings."

Lila's eyes narrowed. Felix refused to back down.

"Adrien is right," Simon said, glancing over his notes. "And if the shoot goes much longer, we'll go into overtime, and Mr. Agreste hates that. It costs the company money, you know. So we're done for the day. Thank you for your work."

Felix murmured a quick thank-you in return. Lila looked as though she had maybe swallowed a lemon. Before she could recover and come up with a new ploy, Felix turned and strode off to the changing tent to switch back into Adrien's normal outfit as fast as he could.

He made sure to keep a suspicious eye out for any unusual ripples in the fabric of the tent. Felix didn't trust Lila to not try to sneak a peek of him changing. She seemed to have a complete lack of respect for normal boundaries and more than a slight fixation on him (or, rather, his cousin), so Felix wouldn't put it past her to try to look or even snap a picture.

A picture would probably be the more appealing option to Lila, if he was reading her right. Properly hidden so that no one else would discover that she had it, it would make valuable blackmail to get Adrien to play along with her little games.

One final change later, Felix exited the tent to see Lila talking with Nathalie. From the look of it, she had been the one to approach Nathalie rather than the other way around- after all, Nathalie had been standing in the same spot for most of the shoot- and she seemed to be trying to persuade Nathalie of something. And- odder yet- Nathalie actually seemed to be listening.

Felix frowned at that. Nathalie actually listening to someone who wasn't her boss? That was unusual, not to mention incredibly suspicious- and so was the entire inclusion of Lila in the Gabriel photoshoots, honestly. Why would Nathalie- and by natural extension, Mr. Agreste- want to bother working with someone like Lila? She was hardly a talented model. Even though she had had more experience with photoshoots than Felix had, and it was Felix's first time modeling to boot, she had needed more direction (and redirection) than he had. She rarely did exactly as the photographer asked, particularly with several shots alongside "Adrien". She preferred making her poses more flirty and having her hands on "Adrien" whenever she could, even arguing with the photographer about the poses he wanted. Lila was hardly any great beauty, either, and her atrocious hairstyle wasn't doing her any favors. And she was hardly rich or famous to start with, despite what she reportedly liked claiming.

Surely Mr. Agreste and Nathalie wouldn't fall for her lies. Maybe they weren't the sharpest tools in the shed, but they had enough experience to navigate what his father had always referred to as shark-infested waters of the business world. They should be able to pick up on the lies and manipulation without a problem.

...so why was she here? What was Mr. Agreste getting out of their arrangement? Besides higher bills from photoshoot staff because of Lila holding things up, of course.

Felix didn't like this. Not at all.

Nathalie finally nodded, making a note on her tablet, and then she and Lila parted ways. Felix glanced away at once- he didn't want to appear to be inviting her over, after all, he had already had more than enough of her for the day- but he could see her making a beeline for him regardless. Felix deliberately stepped away, headed for Adrien's bodyguard. He would very much prefer to go back to the house now, but Lila was faster.

Faster, and had very sharp nails.

"Surely you weren't about to run off without saying good-bye?" Lila crooned, her voice so sickly sweet that it nearly made Felix gag. "How rude."

"If you put holes in this shirt with your nails, my father will hear about it," Felix warned her instead of replying with a cutting comment about how hypocritical it was of her to call anyone rude. Lila only scoffed and tightened her hold, ignoring his words just as he had ignored hers.

"I feel like you're forgetting about our arrangement, Adrien." Lila's voice had dropped to a hiss. "Or do you want everyone to turn on Marinette, hmm? Think about it."

She didn't give him a chance to respond before giving his arm another painful squeeze and flouncing away, trailing her fingers across his chest as she went. It was probably just as well that she left, really, because Felix really wasn't sure what to say about that.

What kind of arrangement his cousin had with that wretched girl, Felix didn't know, but he didn't doubt that it was neither a good one nor a smart one. Considering that it apparently involved threats against one of Adrien's friends- the friend Adrien had gushed about the most over the past couple of days, coincidentally- there really was no way that it could be a good arrangement.

He brought it up with his mom that night, bringing up the fact that Adrien had thought to warn him about Lila and her lies, but he hadn't mentioned the harassment- the sexual harassment, really, considering the fact that Lila had tried to kiss him and rub her hands all over his chest- that was clearly normal for her interactions with him. That seemed like a rather important thing to mention, and the fact that he hadn't...

"Adrien's probably been raised not to raise a fuss," his mom said once she was done ranting and raving about shameless harlots and the adults who enabled them. "Or- you mentioned some sort of deal. Adrien might have decided the best way to protect his other friend was by just tolerating this monster, because no one's taught him better."

Felix blinked. He had heard his mom criticize her sister before, but not since her disappearance. It was a bit strange to hear, honestly, no matter how the indirect the criticism was, but he wasn't going to point it out.

"Emilie wouldn't want someone harassing Adrien," Amelie said after a minute of angry muttering under her breath. "I'm sure she would have taught him about exceptions to the whole politeness rule after he started attending school and running into less savory people. And she would want me to step in now." Her fingers started tapping against the table, an angry staccato as she thought. After a couple minutes, she spun to face Felix with an eager clap of her hands.

Felix, who was more than used to this sort of behavior by now and who had resumed eating his dinner while she thought, merely raised an eyebrow and set his fork back down on his plate neatly.

"You said that Adrien has regular photoshoots with this girl, correct?" Amelie asked eagerly. Felix nodded at once, raising an eyebrow at how hopeful his mom sounded.

"Yeah. And he mentioned that the start of his summers always has a higher concentration of photoshoots, to make up for not having them during exams and studying. That's why I offered to go for him today, because he's been kept so busy that he's not been able to see his friends. And because he had scheduled something with his friends, and then Nathalie just knocked it off of his schedule to put the photoshoot there instead and that didn't seem fair."

Amelie muttered something uncomplimentary about that, too, then her determined expression returned. "Well, that works in our favor. Tell Adrien that you'll do his next photoshoot, too- if you're willing to, of course," she added hastily. "And then I want you to tell this girl no. Tell her to back off. Enforce your boundaries- which I know you're good at doing."

Felix hesitated. He could see where his mom was going with her plan and why it would make more sense for him to be the one to confront Lila instead of Adrien, but- well, another Lila-filled photoshoot really wasn't that appealing.

But it sounded like he wouldn't have to deal with Lila's nonsense this time and could cut it off like he normally would, abrupt and sharp. He could see her downfall in person, see her expression go from overconfident to uncertain to crushed.

Maybe it was a bit petty and vindictive of him, but... well, Felix was a bit petty and vindictive, so what.

So he nodded. "I can do that."

Amelie lit up, clearly excited. "If I'm reading this girl right from what you've said, your no will mean next to nothing to her and she'll persist. To press charges and win, we'll probably need audio- and I can set you up with something that can hide under your clothes without showing."

Felix couldn't help the grin that flashed across his face. "Very nice."

"If my schedule allows, I'll be there too," his mom added. "As close by as I can be, so I can step in as needed. If Nathalie thinks that she'll be telling Adrien- you- to simply endure the harassment, she has another think coming."

"I like that," Felix said at once. "I mean, I don't like the idea of having to tolerate any more of Lila's company, but I can do it."

"Fantastic." Amelie leaned forward, her eyes narrowed in concentration. "Now, as for the rest of the plan..."

Convincing Adrien to let Felix take over for his next photoshoot was easier said than done, particularly after Felix told him about the brief face-off that he and Lila had had after the photoshoot. Adrien wanted to step in and work to smooth things over before Lila could lash out at Marinette in retribution, but Felix pointed out that Lila wouldn't be able to lash out at Marinette if Felix carried out the photoshoot like his mom wanted him to. She would be completely and thoroughly discredited, and if she turned into an akuma for it- well, so what? Better her than Marinette, surely, or Adrien.

Adrien hadn't considered that, obviously. After another moment's consideration, and the reassurance that it was Amelie's plan and not Felix's, he had given in and sent a screenshot of his photoshoot schedule to Felix so that he could show his mom and they could plan. Thankfully the next photoshoot wasn't too far out, so Adrien might not have to deal with keeping Lila happy in the meantime so that she wouldn't try to smear Marinette's reputation.

(Apparently Marinette was the only one of Adrien's friends who had been told about Felix's stepping in for a photoshoot thus far, and the only one told about Felix's plan to knock Lila back. He hadn't seen her again in person, but from what Adrien told him, Marinette had already forgiven Felix for the fiasco he had caused during his previous time in Paris.)

(Marinette was also the person that Adrien was going to be spending his time with while Felix was doing the photoshoot. Apparently most of his other friends were going to be busy, but Marinette wasn't, and she had been plenty happy to spend some time with Adrien.

Adrien had been pleasantly surprised by that, since he had been sure that she would be busy, too, but Felix hadn't been. After all, Marinette was in love with Adrien, wasn't she? Of course she would make time to spend with Adrien, that shouldn't have been a surprise.

Or had she not confessed to Adrien again in the months since Felix was last in Paris? He would have thought that she would have.)

"Remember to turn the recorder on," Amelie reminded him as they pulled up near the school, where Adrien was finishing up with a fencing lesson. He and Adrien were hoping to make the swap earlier than they had the previous time, since the photoshoot was pretty much right after Adrien's fencing lesson got out and it would be hard for them to swap without risking someone noticing. "And be very clear vocally about your objections, so that the recorder will pick them all up."

"Will we be able to use the recordings, do you think?" Felix asked, a thought occurring to him last-minute. "Or is it against the law here? I think it's fine back at home, but…"

"I'll deal with it if there's any legal issues," Amelie assured him. "I have connections, and I'm not afraid to use them."

That didn't quite answer Felix's question, but he supposed that it was as good of an answer as any. With one last check to make sure that he looked like Adrien and had everything he needed, Felix hopped out of the car and slipped into the school, making his way to the locker rooms. The fencers were finishing up their last matches, so it was easy enough for Felix to head to the bathrooms and text Adrien to make sure that he would know to come into the bathrooms, too. They wouldn't see each other face-to-face before the photoshoot- after all, Adrien's teammates might question how he had somehow doubled himself if they ran into the two of them in the bathroom- but it would make the trade much easier.

It wasn't long at all before Felix heard someone else enter the bathroom. He straightened in his stall, listening closely and keeping an eye on his phone. That could be Adrien, but it could just as easily be one of his teammates.

Luck was on his side. His phone buzzed, and a message lit up the screen.

Adrien: In the bathroom. Left my fencing bag on the chair near the door- you can take it so that the Gorilla doesn't wonder where I left it.

Felix nodded and shot back a quick message.

Right. See you later.

After another pause, Felix stepped out of his stall, heading for the sinks and washing his hands before claiming the fencing bag that was sitting on the somewhat out-of-place chair near the door. One glance- or rather, one whiff- inside assured him that it was Adrien's bag, and so Felix slung it over his shoulder before heading out into the locker rooms. A few good-byes to Adrien's teammates later and Felix was in Adrien's car, being whisked efficiently away by his bodyguard to the photoshoot.

Trade-off: smooth as butter.

Now that he had been to a photoshoot once, there was far less hesitation in Felix's step as he headed into the small tent to change, then out to hair and make-up for a touch-up. He had to wonder why Mr. Agreste would schedule a photoshoot for right after fencing in the first place as the stylists teased his hair to perfection. Surely the real Adrien's hair would be sweaty and messy after fencing and it would have made more sense for him to have some time for a shower first?

Maybe this was a one-off thing, just happening because they were trying to catch up on photoshoots after exams and they also had to work around Lila's schedule. If she even had one, that was. Something made Felix guess that Lila simply spent a lot of time holed up in her room, scheming and plotting. Maybe she pretended that she had a packed schedule in front of her friends, but in reality...

Well, one had to be really uninteresting to go to the same amount of effort that Lila was to get attention, and that generally suggested a lack of real activities to do.

Just like the previous time, the photoshoot started with individual shots. Felix went through the motions, posing and adjusting his expression as requested. It all went very smoothly...

...and then Lila showed up.

While Lila did her first individual shoot and Felix changed into his next outfit, he pulled the recorder that his mom had given him out. It was small and discreet, easy enough to hide until his shirt or in a pocket without creating any lumps. He got it set up to start recording, then headed outside, resigned to at least a few minutes of dealing with Lila and her grabby hands.

And as expected, Lila started clinging to him the second that Felix got back outside.

"Positions, please!" Simon called. "I want you back to back, but not quite touching, just next to each other-"

"Don't you think that we should be closer, though?" Lila asked immediately, wrapping her hands around Felix's bicep. "We could play a couple!"

"Not for these outfits," Simon told her. "Backs to each other, please-"

"Oh, but I think-"

"I think my sleeve is getting wrinkled," Felix commented, trying to step away from Lila. "And if you don't let go, you're going to bruise my arm."

Lila scowled and finally released him. Felix readjusted his shirt- there were no wrinkles, of course, the lovely light fabric that the shirt was made out of wasn't the type to get creased up by a minute's clinging- and then slid easily into position.

"Good, Adrien, perfect!" Simon called. "Lila- no, not like that, I want your arms crossed- if you stand like that, it looks like you're trying to cop a feel, and no one wants that."

...Felix wasn't even surprised.

The next few shots went the same way. Lila was clingy, but not as incredibly forward as she had been at the end of the previous shoot. Maybe getting her off required several reprimands and comments about how she was messing up his outfit, but she did get off. Eventually.

And then they changed outfits again, and Simon consulted his shot sheet. His eyebrows raised, and then he glanced between Felix and Lila. "The top suggested theme for these outfits is, ah, summer romance."

Felix blinked. That... was not what he was expecting. It sounded like something that Lila would have suggested, not something that Adrien's stick-in-the-mud father or his secretary would come up with.

And then it hit him like a brick. He would bet anything that this was what Lila had been talking to Nathalie about at the previous photoshoot. She had been the one pushing and pushing for a 'Summer Romance" theme for an excuse to get close to him in the previous shoot, and now she had gotten it.

"Oh, that's lovely, isn't it, Adrien?" Lila trilled. She attached herself to his arm, plastering herself against his side. "There's so much to work with there! Hugs, kisses- we'll be so cute together!"

"I'm not comfortable with that," Felix said at once, looking to Simon. "You said that was a suggested theme. Would it be possible to go with another theme?"

Simon nodded, referencing his sheet. "Yes, of course. One of the other suggestions was-"

"Oh, I think we should at least try it!" Lila insisted. Her grip got tighter, and her nails dug in. "Here, let's just start now and not overthink it!"

With that, she bounced up on her toes and tried to press a kiss to Felix's cheek, aiming for close to his mouth. Felix leaned back as fast as he could, dodging her completely in one quick movement.

Maybe he had complained about taking gymnastics as a child, but sometimes it really did come in handy. Perhaps he should consider picking it back up again.

"I'm not comfortable with that," Felix told her clearly, ignoring Lila's scowl and the way her nails dug in even deeper. "And since I said no, we're not doing it."

"Well, I want to!" Lila insisted. "Come on, Adrien! We're friends, aren't we?"

There was that edge again. This time, Felix knew what it meant: by the time the photoshoot ended, she was probably going to start her attacks on Marinette's character. It was an attempt to bring Adrien back under her control.

Too bad she was dealing with Felix, not Adrien.

"That doesn't mean that I'm comfortable doing romantic shots," Felix said firmly. "Particularly if you're going to try to spring unwanted kisses on me. Now kindly let go of my arm. Your nails are digging in."

A scowl flashed across Lila's face before she pasted on her happy face again. "How can you know that you aren't comfortable with it until you've tried it? At least a few shots-"

"Remove your fingers from my arm or I will remove them for you."

Lila's grip only got tighter. "Stop complaining, I'm hardly-"

Felix didn't let her finish. Before she could break any more skin, he grabbed two of her fingers and bent them back sharply. They gave with a (satisfying, Felix had to admit) crack, and Lila snatched her hands back with a cry.

"My fingers!"

"I told you to let go," Felix told her tartly, stepping away and rolling up his shirt sleeve to reveal the dents and cuts from Lila's nails. "Simon, would you mind snapping a picture of this? I have a photo from when she did this during the last photoshoot, but this is far worse."

Simon nodded at once, getting in close and snapping photos from all angles. Across the way, Nathalie finally noticed the commotion and hustled over, glancing between Felix and the sobbing Lila.

For once, Felix was willing to bet that the tears weren't fake.

"He broke my fingers!" Lila sobbed, clutching her hand close to her chest. "Adrien, I can't believe that you would be so mean-"

"Nathalie, I think you should look at this," Simon told Nathalie, pulling her over next to Felix. "Adrien has commented numerous times during photoshoots that Lila is holding on to his arm too hard. He asked her to let go several times in a row before he pulled her off, and- well, I can't blame him, she's drawn blood."

Nathalie's lips pressed together in a thin line as she inspected the injury, and then she pulled out her phone. "I'm going to call Lila's mom, and then I'll call Mr. Agreste. I think it's safe to say that Lila will be fired. This is unacceptable."

Felix could barely hide his smile.

Twelve minutes later, Mrs. Rossi rushed into the park, her wide eyes locking onto the still-sobbing Lila almost immediately. She rushed to her daughter's side at once, kneeling down beside her.

"Mio caro, what happened?" Mrs. Rossi asked, reaching for her daughter. "Ms. Sancoeur said that you got your fingers broken!"

"What happened is that Lila learned the consequences of sexual harassment," Felix cut in coolly before Lila could speak up, and Mrs. Rossi's head swung to the side, her eyes wide. "Some of the consequences, at least. I will be pressing charges, and she'll be lucky if I'm the only one."

"Se- sexual harassment?" Mrs. Rossi exclaimed, glancing between him and Lila. "Surely that's an exaggeration, Nathalie, how on earth would Lila do anything that could be considered sexual harassment to her boyfriend during a photoshoot? Surely this was just an overreaction to a lover's spat-"

"I was not aware that your daughter was dating anyone, least of all me," Felix told her, since- well, it was true. After all, Adrien wouldn't touch someone like Lila with a ten-foot pole. "Frankly, considering how often Lila lies, I'm surprised that you believed her at all. No one wants to be dating a liar, particularly a social-climbing liar with no respect for personal space."

Mrs. Rossi reeled back. "A- a liar? No, Lila's a sweet girl!"

"They're just trying to frame me, Mommy!" Lila sniffled, and Felix rolled his eyes. Of course she would pull out the mummy card now. "Adrien just a-attacked me out of nowhere, we were just modeling-"

Felix snorted. He had abandoned his Adrien act for good now, and from the looks he was getting from Nathalie, she had caught on to the switch. He held up his injured arm, deciding to ignore Lila completely. She clearly wasn't going to admit that she was in the wrong, so entertaining her at all was a lost cause. "A 'sweet girl', hmm? She's given both me and my cousin bruises from clinging so hard, and now she's broken my skin. And she's been threatening to destroy the reputation of one of my cousin's classmates, all because she's a petty brat who hasn't been properly contained."

Mrs. Rossi shook her head, her eyes wide as she took in the injuries. "No, that doesn't sound like her at all! Why- why would she want to destroy anyone's reputation, that makes no sense!"

"Because I haven't-"

"Because Marinette called her out on her lies," Felix told Mrs. Rossi tartly, raising his voice over Lila's whine. "The lies about knowing all sorts of famous people personally, because she 'saved their cat' or was personally helping them with songwriting or was running a million charities, or the lies about going on a- what was it, a three-month trip out of Paris during the school year, when she was actually here the entire time?"

Mrs. Rossi slumped on the ground. "No, no, I can't- I can't believe this-"

Lila shuffled closer to her mom, still clutching her hand to her chest as she made another effort to squirm out of the situation. "They're lying, mama, don't listen to them-"

"Well, you had better start believing it!" Amelie snapped, appearing out of the nearby trees and striding up to the group. She waved her phone. "I have pictures of your little hussy of a daughter trying to force a kiss on my son, and we have evidence of her refusing to let go of my son's arm. You should be ashamed, really! I don't know how I would be able to show my face in public if my son acted the same way that your daughter has! Lying and manipulation and sexual harassment and threats for months and months and months on end, and what have you done to stop it? Nothing, by the sounds of it!"

"I didn't know-" Mrs. Rossi started, but Amelie cut her off with a scoff.

"You didn't know? Oh, excuse me for not being very impressed there. I've been busy as anything quite often with my projects and modeling and films and charity and events, but you had better bet that I made the time to check in with Felix's teachers! If I didn't have the time to go in before or after school, I emailed them. I made sure that I met his friends. I knew the instant that he started acting out, and I could talk to him about it. Have you done any of that?"

"No, but-"

"And this whole business with Lila being 'out of the country' for months! How did you miss that she wasn't going to school?" Amelie demanded.

Mrs. Rossi flinched. "I- she said that the school was closed because of akuma attacks-"

"For three months? That's not even a good lie! Do you live under a rock? Sometimes the akuma attacks drag on for a bit, but it's just hours, not- not even days! All you would need to do to disprove her ridiculous lies would be to turn on a TV! Or do a Google search, that only takes seconds!"

"I-" Mrs. Rossi swallowed hard, and her voice got quiet, nearly inaudible. "I was busy at a new job, and I- I thought that I could trust her."

"Clearly not!"

"In any case, Lila is fired as a Gabriel model, and we will be plenty transparent with the media as to why should they ask," Nathalie told Mrs. Rossi, consulting her tablet. "Adrien has confirmed that he's been grabbed at just like Felix, and that is unacceptable. Mr. Agreste expects that his son be able to work without being sexually harassed by other models."

Mrs. Rossi only nodded, all of the fight drained out of her. Lila whipped her head back and forth between her mom and the rest of the group, panic starting to spread across her features.

"Mama, you don't believe them, do you-"

"Quiet, Lila," Mrs. Rossi snapped. "I've heard enough. I've seen the evidence. I know that you're lying now."

Lila's face screwed up, and then she suddenly lunged to her feet, right at Felix. "How dare you! I had everything going my way, and you've screwed it up! When- when I get akumatized, you'll regret this, Adrien!"

Felix stepped neatly out of the way, extending one foot just enough to send Lila sprawling back to the ground with a wail of pain but not enough that it would be obvious that it was completely on purpose. "Boo-hoo, cry me a river. Also still not Adrien. Try his stunt double instead."

Lila only sobbed on the ground, clutching at her fingers. Her mom hauled her up, looking completely ashamed as she hustled her daughter away.

"Well, I think that's the end of this photoshoot," Nathalie said as soon as the duo was out of sight. She sighed, massaging her forehead in clear exasperation. "Felix, can I ask that next time, Adrien actually shows up like he's supposed to?"

Felix raised an eyebrow at her. "Why? It's not like anyone will be able to tell the difference."

"Gabriel would be most unhappy-"

"Gabriel is unhappy about most things most of the time, so I don't see how it makes any difference," Amelie told her tartly. She looped her arm through Felix's. "Now, if you'll excuse us, I think that Felix and I have a lawsuit to go file. Good-bye."

As it turned out, Gabriel didn't even have to tell the press why its newest model had been abruptly dropped. An Adrien fan had been hidden nearby and watching the shoot, and had taken video of the entire Lila downfall. It had been uploaded at once, and spread across the internet by other fans.

Fortunately, it meant that- at least in Paris- no one would ever believe Lila Rossi again. The outrage over everything that she had done- and especially the attempt at a forced kiss and the clinging to Felix hard enough to break his skin- was enough that Felix was pretty sure that no one would even try to be her friend out of pity. There was no way that any of Adrien's classmates would miss the news, either, which was really what they were most interested in.

Unfortunately, Adrien's fans were over the moon at the idea of an Adrien stunt double, because it meant that there were two of them.

...and unfortunately for some particularly avid and over-eager fans, Amelie Graham de Vanily was none too thrilled about her son and her nephew getting chased around Paris and was still riding high on the success of her lawsuit against Lila. One dinner with the Bourgeois family later and it was officially against the law in Paris to chase after teen celebrities and to form what amounted to search mobs, and there was going to be further investigation and adjustment as needed to prevent other future harassment. Also- and on a completely unrelated topic- Audrey Bourgeois would be in charge of the wardrobe department on the next Graham Films production.

And as for Felix... well, all of a sudden, Adrien's friends all became a lot more receptive to the idea of inviting him to their get-togethers. Some were still a little wary of him, but that didn't bother Felix at all. After all, Felix was used to people regarding him with some trepidation at home, and he was hardly going to make himself comfortable by acting all warm and cuddly. But several of Adrien's friends were fine with that, or perhaps they just were accepting because they knew that it would make Adrien happy.

Felix didn't suppose that it really mattered either way. He wasn't trying to form lifelong friendships in Paris, just trying to enjoy his summer as well as he could. And with Lila firmly out of the picture- she had been shipped back to Italy to attend boarding school, mostly to keep her away from akumas- and with outwardly friendly company...

Well, the summer was looking bright.

#Miraculous Ladybug #My writing #adrien agreste #felix graham de vanily #the gremlin child returns

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saiilorstars · 4 years ago

Text

Star-Crossed

Previous Story || Current Masterlist

Chapter 7: Memory Lane

Pairing: 10th Doctor x OFC

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @perfectlystiles [If you’d like to be a part of this OC’s works/edits, let me know!]

Minerva’s face claim: Victoria Camacho // (Kaeya’s face claim: Michelle Trachtenberg)

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Chapter summary: The Doctor finally gets to confess what he's been thinking about in the past few months. Maybe then he'll feel less guilty.

"You know I can't paint, Doctor. Why not give it a rest?" Minerva sighed as she tried placing down her paint brush for what seemed the billionth time. Every time she did so, the Doctor would pick it right back up and place it in her hand. This time wouldn't be different.

The Doctor took her hand and kept the brush in it, "Nonsense, you're doing wonderful!" He gestured to the canvas in front of them.

Minerva was painting, rather badly she believed, the scenery they had in front of them; a Japanese cherry blossom park. It was Sakura, the cherry blossom festival, and the park was more than beautifully decorated with lanterns that would be lit in the night, families in their respective gatherings, market stands of food and trinkets set up around, and the beautiful cherry blossom trees.

The Doctor had surprised Minerva with this trip in the morning, telling her it was just a random surprise. Secretly, he wanted to bring her somewhere entirely peaceful so she could rest from the crystal's effects and also distract herself from her family problems. The Doctor truly hated how badly Minerva was feeling for things that weren't her fault. All that guilt was mixing with Kaeya's crystal's effects and he was afraid it would damage her health to the point of...well...death. He didn't know just how strong that crystal was but he knew it could go up to terrible stakes. After the planet of the Ood, a planet basically of snow, he wanted to bring Minerva somewhere nice and calm where the crystal was less likely to act.

Though the specific location of the cherry blossom festival wasn't that warm as he wanted it to be. Still, it was a decent cold that humans were used to. But it didn't stop him from actively trying to hand over his coat so Minerva could wear it and stay warm. He doubted her kimono could really be that warm.

But oh that kimono...

As peaceful as he wanted it to be, he could not stop himself from actively trying to steal kisses from her. He wanted Minerva's day to be serene and here he was trying to snog her every opportunity he had. Not very calm, was it?

Minerva was styling a traditional Japanese kimono for the event. She, along with Donna, outright refused to attend the festival without the proper attire. So, Minerva came out wearing a blue and pink flowered patterned kimono that wrapped around her body quite beautifully. The sleeves were bell styled, although not too loose, and her v-neck was a bit lower than usual. Minerva's hair was picked up in a braided bun with a few strands of sticking at the sides of her face. The only thing she'd done differently was that instead of wearing the usual traditional geta sandals, she wore blue flats; the necklace the Doctor had given her for her birthday also dropped proudly around her neck.

The Doctor truly felt like he was being tested. How far could he resist his Clever Girl's charms? She was just too beautiful.

...which made it all the much harder to control himself.

"Doctor, can't we do something else?" Minerva turned to him, oblivious to his thoughts, "It's useless, I can't paint."

"What are you talking about? That-" he pointed to the canvas, "-is wonderful progress!'

The pair stood beside a lake, a small bridge to their right that connected them to the other side of the large park. The Doctor had suggested Minerva try and paint the scenery. The lake was quite beautiful, bright blue with fresh cherry blossoms floating downstream and even a couple of fishes swimming by. The trees were letting dozens of loose cherry blossoms down. It was a scene that deserved to be painted, and who else to paint it than the most beautiful woman in the world?

"It's horrible," Minerva pouted. She had attempted to paint the left side of the lake and she thought all the cherry blossoms were too pink and uneven.

"No it's not," the Doctor wound an arm around her waist as he stared at the canvas. He saw the delicate cherry blossoms painted beautifully and realistically. The half side of the lake was painted with the exact brilliant blue it had. He didn't understand why Minerva was so keen on putting down her work. It was she that had wanted to paint back in China, and she did make progress with blue butterflies!

"You're just saying that because you're my boyfriend," she crossed her arms, "But the truth is I stink at it and it's nothing." She shook his arm off her and turned away.

"Hey, where'd that come from?" he reached for her arm and turned her to him, "Putting down your own work like that isn't something you do. What's wrong, Clever Girl?"

"Everything, my family and me...it's all wrong," she looked at the canvas behind them, "I'm nothing," she mumbled sadly.

"Where did that come from?" the Doctor frowned, appalled at such a thought.

"There's something I haven't told you," she fiddled with her fingers.

"Which is?"

She sighed, "Marisol has called a few more times...and I keep answering."

"Why, Minerva?" the Doctor sighed, already seeing where this was headed.

"It's been three days," she looked down, "And I stupidly think each time she's just calling to accept my apologies..."

"Minerva, what on earth could you be apologizing to her for?"

"I don't know!" she started sniffling, "I just wanted to fix something with my family. I thought if I apologized she'd accept it and forgive me for what ever I did...but she hates me, she despises me apparently," she burst into sobs, "She outright despises me and I don't know what I did."

Minerva didn't understand why she garnered so much hatred from her cousin. As a kid, Marisol was always rude to her, making her feel like she was truly nothing. Olivia would try to defend her little sister but she wasn't always there for Minerva, which left it wide open for Marisol to attack. Minerva couldn't remember doing something to provoke Marisol. Marisol just liked making her feel bad for no reason. As children, Marisol would steal Minerva's toys, push her around to the point of actually physically hurting her. And when Minerva would tell her parents, Marisol always convinced them she was innocent and Minerva was lying. And as they grew, things got worse. In middle school, some of Minerva's classes would be in an upper division...into Marisol's classes to her dismay. Marisol would always make jokes to her friends about Minerva, only making Minerva feel worse. Things were now at their worst now that they were both young adults. Over the phone wasn't much of a difference; Marisol would get straight to the point and insult, gloat, and belittle Minerva.

Minerva just didn't understand what she'd done to her cousin.

The Doctor had taken her into a hug with a big sigh, "Minerva, we've talked about this. Stop trying to get forgiveness for something you didn't do. You've done absolutely nothing wrong!"

"No, it seems like I always do everything wrong!"

"No, no you don't. And it honestly surprises me that you would let such an awful woman taint your self esteem like this. You know you're amazing, you know you're clever, skillful, etc., why do you let one of the worst people take that away from you?"

"I...I don't know," she confessed. She honestly didn't. She always had a good image of herself but when it came to her family, it just went down to the sewers. Her family, while running away from them, did mean a lot to her. She didn't care that her parents didn't love them, she did. She loved them and all she wanted was for them to forgive her.

And perhaps that was the problem.

By desperately wanting to be forgiven, she'd accept any insults in hopes that they would see she was truly sorry and forgive her. Since Marisol was closer to her mother nowadays, perhaps the woman could get her mother to forgive Minerva. That's why, when Marisol called those last three days, Minerva did her best to express how sorry she was and how much she accomplished just for her family. But Marisol had other ideas, she kept shooting Minerva down, insulting her in every way possible and gloating just how much she was enjoying the attention Sophia was giving her instead of Minerva. That while Minerva was off doing silly little paintings and traveling, Sophia was giving her love and affection to Marisol instead of her daughter.

And it broke Minerva's heart.

She viewed her painting as something insignificant that could never compare to her mother's love. It was awful, nothing...

"Tell you what, as soon as we get back to the TARDIS, we'll chuck the cellphone into a black hole, yeah?" the Doctor offered, really going to do that despite what her answer was.

"But what will we do when Martha tries to call?" Minerva tried stopping her sobs.

"We'll get a new phone, upgrade it and it'll only have her number."

"And grandma's?"

"Of course," he rubbed her back, relaxing only slightly that she had managed to stop crying.

"And Uncle Aaron's? Astrid's? Jack's?"

" Yes, yes, and...um..."

Minerva giggled at his resistance to add Jack's number. Even though the immortal man had made it perfectly clear he had no interest in Minerva whatsoever, the Doctor was still prone to be jealous. And seeing the kick out of it, Jack would often have some fun.

"Oh I love your giggles," the Doctor sighed, now much better.

"Or...we could just block the number," she offered, "It's a lot easier."

"Blocking it is!" the Doctor nodded as he rubbed her tears off her face, resting his hands over her cheeks afterwards, "Now then, I'd like to see your gorgeous smile."

Involuntarily, Minerva smiled, her face warming up, "So...do you really think my painting is coming out okay?"

"I think it's coming out beautifully. You're making such good progress, really."

"Think I could give Leonardo da Vinci a run for his money?" she glanced at her canvas, perhaps it wasn't that bad...

"Oh definitely, but you'll never compete with him because you're never seeing him again," the Doctor declared.

"Overly jealous, Martian," she informed as she got on her toes.

"Have you seen yourself? I have a right to be jealous," he leaned down to ease her struggle of her toes.

"I'm plain and simple," she declared and kissed him.

That was far from it, the Doctor thought. To him, she was a goddess that seemed to captivate him more with each day.

~ 0 ~

"These are some funny fishes," Minerva remarked, she and Donna knelt down on the edge of the running lake.

"You're telling me, I think that one has only one eye," Donna tried leaning forwards to get a closer look at a fish that had caught her attention.

"What? Where?" Minerva leaned forwards as well, though with her curiosity she nearly slipped into the lake if it hadn't been for Donna yanking her back.

"Minerva they're just fish!" Donna laughed, "You don't need to drown for them!"

"Sorry, sorry," Minerva blushed in embarrassment, pushing strands of her hair behind her ears as she took another look at the lake, "These fish are just marvelous to me," she sighed in content, "Martian, please tell me you didn't see any of that?" she looked behind her to where the Doctor stood. She tilted her head when she noticed he seemed a bit...distant, "Martian?" she called again, her blush slowly fading, "You okay?"

The Doctor blinked, his ears working just fine as he heard her and yet...his mind was somewhere else.

"Where are we going, Kaeya?" the Doctor struggled to walk up the snowy hill. It was a very small hill but with its heavy snow covering every last inch it proved to be quite the challenge for him.

Kaeya simply bit her lip with a knowing smile, "Somewhere. It's really nice and I want to show you."

"Can't you just tell me what it is?"

"Where's the fun in that?" she crossed her arms, "It's a really lovely place, I promise."

"Is there any place on this planet without snow?" he earnestly asked, struggling even more while she stood just a couple feet away in calmness.

"This is the Silver Monsoon, there is no such thing as 'snowless'...except for houses."

"Or castles," he murmured, recalling the size of the castle Kaeya lived in. It was simply beautiful and made of ice.

Kaeya laughed, "C'mon," she gently thrust her hand forwards and blew away a clear path for the Doctor, "Before we get caught," she giggled and reached for his hands, pulling him up to where she was. The Doctor blinked at their proximity, their faces just inches away from each other. Kaeya smiled softly, her hands still in his, "Is something wrong?" she quietly asked.

"N-nope," he shook his head and stepped back, blushing, "So where's that place?"

"C'mon!" she let go of one of his hands and used her other to pull him towards a small lake, one that was not iced as was their usual preferred lake to meet up in.

"Another lake?" the Doctor tried not to sound as disappointed as he really was.

"This one's different," she promised as they reached the edge. She let go of his other hand and knelt down, passing a hand through the lake, "Isn't it beautiful?" she looked at the creatures swimming peacefully in the lake, "When you brought me the book of aquatic life on Earth, I kept thinking of this lake. I think it has the most beautiful aquatic creatures the Monsoon has to offer. They're marvelous," she sighed happily, "Don't you think?" she looked up.

The Doctor nodded, kneeling down beside her and dipping his hand into the lake, "Quite," he looked at the princess with a soft smile, she returning the gesture.

"Oi, spaceman?" Donna called, finally managing to get through the silent man.

"Huh? Yes?" the Doctor blinked rapidly as he looked at the two women.

"Are you okay?" Minerva stood up, dusting herself off as she walked up to him.

"Y-yes," he nodded.

"You seemed kind of lost."

"And more than usual," Donna added from behind.

"Thank you Donna," the Doctor cast a small glare her way before taking Minerva's hands in his. "I was just thinking, nothing important."

"Are you sure?" Minerva raised an eyebrow, "It's been happening a lot lately. Anything on your mind?"

"Just you, dear," he gave her a peck.

Minerva chuckled lightly, "Smooth, Martian."

"Always," he grinned and placed another kiss on her lips.

"Em, so how about before you start snogging we head over for some lunch?" Donna cleared her throat before the pair got lost and forgot she was there.

"Lunch sounds delightful," the Doctor said as he held one of Minerva's hand in his up, "Would you care for some good ole lunch, dear?"

"Is that another date?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Mm, yes, but this one has no adrenaline in it, I'm afraid."

"Well, you'll have to make it up to me somehow," she warned with a smirk.

"Oh don't you worry, I'll definitely find a way," he kissed her hand and led them off.

Donna gave a mock roll of the eyes before following them. Suddenly, she felt like she had seen a faint blue glow behind her. She turned around and scanned the area but saw nothing out of the ordinary. She shook her head and continued walking after the pair, figuring she'd imagined it.

~ 0 ~

"Fish cakes?" Donna Noble asked, watching in disgust as the Doctor picked one up, "As in...fish...cakes?"

"Please don't eat it, Martian," Minerva pleaded, doing her best to keep her self calm. She sat on the man's lap, Donna sat across them on a lunch table, "I won't kiss you anymore if you do."

The Doctor grinned, waving said cake in his hand, "What? This wasn't for me, silly," he tapped her nose.

"Then who-"

The Doctor stuffed her mouth with the fish cake, raising his eyebrows as he awaited for her to chew and swallow it...

...much she liked forced him to drink her coffee and strawberry crepe in 1969.

Minerva made faces as she forced herself to chew, the thing was horrible! Donna was smiling in amusement, knowing it was just the Doctor trying to mess with the Clever Girl and get her to smile. Neither knew it was also for a bit of sweet revenge Minerva owed him.

"So, how was it?" the Doctor asked, smirking, when Minerva had swallowed.

"H-horrible," she shivered and reached for a napkin off the table, "That was horrible! Why'd you do that!?"

"You did that to me in 1969, your birthday!"

"But I made you drink maple syrup coffee! That was sweet, not disgusting! And I gave you strawberry crepes! Those two were delicious and it didn't make your breath smell bad! You smelled like strawberries and I like strawberries," she started pouting, the Doctor internally sighing as he knew she would get him to do anything she wanted when she did that, "I smell like fish and no one likes fish! And now you're not gonna wanna kiss me anymore cos I said if you ate it I wouldn't kiss you anymore and-"

The Doctor had went ahead and kissed her.

Donna rolled her eyes and reached for a strawberry, how Minerva didn't see that coming she did not know.

"Delicious," the Doctor parted, smiling softly at his Clever Girl that still seemed in doubt.

"Really?"

"I could gladly go ahead and prove it again," he shrugged innocently.

"Don't you dare, spaceman," Donna called, not about to see a snog while she ate, "I wanna keep my food in my stomach."

Minerva blushed and reached for a grape, while the Doctor may not be affected by the fish cake she sure was. She picked several up and dropped them into her mouth, "Sorry Donna," she chewed.

"Tell me, how did Martha stand you two?" the ginger joked, shaking her head.

"She left when we got together," the Doctor said absently, stroking Minerva's side of her face. He just loved how smooth and warm her skin was, knowing, and practically beaming, it was red and warm because he was touching her.

"Smart Martha," Donna mumbled.

"We should go visit her soon," Minerva suggested, really excited to introduce her best friend to her ginger sister, "I'm sure you two would get along really well!"

"Anytime you want to go, just say the word," the Doctor said to Minerva. He would secretly want to see their old companion as well, but Minerva's need was much stronger than his. They were best friends and of course phone calls wouldn't be the same. And besides that, Martha was really the last companion they could actually visit. Rose wasn't here anymore, nor Mickey, so those two were out of the question.

"We should," Minerva nodded, "Martha said she was going to be transferred to the states for her UNIT work. Apparently they found an odd case in a hospital or something like that. Dr. Jones, on the case!"

"She's a doctor, now?" the Doctor asked, surprised he had missed that important detail.

"UNIT rushed it for her since she was a bit...experienced," Minerva smirked, "Because you know, who's better at saving the earth from aliens than the woman who saved the planet on her own?"

"Well...I helped too you know," the Doctor mumbled, mock offended.

"I know you did, that's why you got me!" she pointed at herself with a beam and laughed.

"What a reward," he Eskimo kissed her, both chuckling, "I'd stay another year locked up just to get you."

"Really? In all those awful conditions the Master had you in?" Minerva asked and the Doctor simply nodded. Minerva blinked, surprised he'd willingly be in a cage just for her.

But the Doctor was quite sure of himself. All that horrible year the only thing he had to do to pass the time was think...and in thinking, his mind always wandered to the Clever Girl, Minerva. He would think about their time together, ever since Rose's departure, and he cursed himself for wasting so much time. Those times in 1913, as short as it was. were precious to him. As a human, he truly had fallen in love with Minerva. That woman had worked her way into his hearts with such ease and in such a short time it actually shocked him. He especially thought about their kisses, oh their kisses...even as an elderly man his hearts beat at the speed of a teenager when they came into mind. The one that really stuck in his mind was the one in 1969, the "secret" kiss as he thought before. It had been a kiss that he had went for, as wrong as it was to practically steal it from Minerva, but it was the kiss that made him accept his feelings for her and that's why he though about it the most.

So then he cursed himself for wasting all the time before that. Sure, it was about half a year in Earth terms where he started falling for Minerva, but it was precious time for Minerva and her human lifespan. He could've done so much in six months, taken her to the most amazing places he could think of. He could've had her in his arms, comforting her when she needed to be, kissing her when he'd like...he'd wasted all that time and it only made it harder to look at the poor girl being tortured by a man he was responsible for. The Master, the man who killed his past love, had been to the brink of killing Minerva.

He liked to think that the year-that-never-was was more of a punishment for him hurting Minerva. The only thing he loathed was that Minerva had also been punished. And, even after so much of her pain, she still accepted him. In a miracle, he'd finally gotten his Clever Girl.

"I would without a doubt, of course you'd have to be safe and sound and far away from the Master," he tapped Minerva's nose.

She blushed, "You're so sweet.."

"And since silence has fallen..." Donna swayed her head, there was another kiss to be shared.

"Believe me, dear, no one compares to your sweetness," the Doctor looked his Clever Girl over, neither him or her hearing Donna's remark.

He looked at the woman on his lap and simply could not believe he could have gotten her, even more that she actually wanted to be with him. He...was no good man, he knew. Minerva was the complete opposite; despite having a horrible childhood, she was absolutely sweet and kind, a little too much for her own good he often admitted. And having those qualities, he didn't know why she wanted him when she deserved someone much better, a kind, a good man...someone who hadn't killed an entire species. But for her Minerva to openly decide she wanted him, even after knowing what he'd done, a Martian who was a gazillion years older than her, was simply 'wow'. There were no other words that came into mind. It was a miracle.

Minerva blushed deeper as his eyes lingered on her, "Believe me, you're worth all the tortures," she leaned in and the two kissed.

"I really dread to think what you did before I came along," Donna took a sip of her drink as the pair parted.

"We behaved," Minerva replied, looking at the Doctor with a sly smile as she bit her lip, "Just like Martha said to, right Martian?"

"Y-yes," the Doctor cleared his throat.

Donna didn't need to know they snogged almost all the time during their first months of being in a relationship, it wasn't as if they did something they shouldn't have. They simply kissed and spent all their time together, going on dates, giving each other educational lessons like Minerva teaching the Doctor how to use a blender and he teaching her a new language. They only kissed at times...well, whenever they got something right on their lessons...or when they were happy...or sad...or crossed...or...just in the mood.

Donna just smirked, as if they could pull one over her, "Yeah right, let me guess: you snogged in the console room, kitchen, pool, library, Minerva's painting room, and I'm willing to bet every last part of the universe."

"Shut up," was all the pair had to sat on that topic.

"Just know that when I meet Martha I'm telling on you," Donna smirked even wider when the pair blushed deeply, "That's right, you're both in big trouble."

"I'm not afraid of Martha," Minerva shrugged, looking at the Doctor to see he was actually a bit more concern, "Martian?"

"It's a bit easier for you not to be afraid, dear," he leaned to her ear and whispered, "I'm the one that's snogging her best friend."

"Yeah, which I give consent to!"

"Still..." he mumbled and looked away.

"Aww, don't worry, I'll protect you from big bad Martha," she pecked his lips.

"You two are ridiculous," Donna remarked, "You find an excuse to turn everything into a kiss."

"If you want Donna, I can set you up with someone," Minerva offered, "Like I said, there's some planets with some real good looking aliens."

Donna pretended to think about it,"Well...I don't know, I might get stuck with a long streak of nothing like you did," she gestured to the Doctor.

Minerva laughed which then made Donna laugh...all while the Doctor frowned and looked between both women.

"This is my cue to leave," he declared and moved to get up.

"N-no!" Minerva pushed him down. Before she was forced off his lap, "I'm sorry, Martian. You know I don't think that," she rested her head on his shoulder and absently stroked his chest, "You're wonderful."

"Kiss up!" Donna called.

"Shut up, Donna," Minerva lifted her head and kissed the Doctor's cheek, "So, am I forgiven?"

"I can't really say no to that face," the Doctor sighed, "So yes."

Minerva beamed and gave him another kiss, "Yes!"

"Oi, here eat this before you snog," Donna chucked Minerva a grapefruit which she barely caught.

"Hm, I've never had grapefruit," Minerva shrugged before eating a bit...only for her spit it out to the side, "And I never will again!" she pursed her lips together and shivered, "Now that was really awful. It's sour!"

The Doctor blinked at her, finding her adorable and yet in the back of his mind...there was something else that popped up.

"So what exactly is this?" Kaeya blinked as the Doctor placed a brown basket in front of her. Without waiting for an answer, she dropped to her knees and started picking up the various types of food inside.

"It's fruit from Earth," the Doctor replied as he squatted down beside her, "They brought some to Gallifrey just for some tastes and so..."

Kaeya glanced at him with a smirk, "You 'borrowed' them?" she raised an eyebrow.

The Doctor stared at the basket with a small smile, "Perhaps..."

"You realize you can't borrow food, right? I'm sure that's a similarity your planet and mine share."

"They won't miss it," the Doctor waved it off and picked up a fruit, a grapefruit, "Try some."

Kaeya took the fruit and and tore it apart in a wonky half, "Try it with me," she held one half for him. The Doctor took the half and awaited her to prepare, "Ready?" she asked and he nodded, "Bite!"

Both took a bite of their fruit at the same time and garnered different tastes. The Doctor thought of it sweet but Kaeya thought it was plain sour!

The Doctor let out a big laugh when Kaeya started making faces, the princess spitting out what was left in her mouth, "No, no, no, that is VERY bad!" she decreed.

"What? It was good!"

"No, it was bad," she threw her half and then snatched the Doctor's to throw it as well, "Grapefruits are not allowed on the Monsoon. Never, never, never."

The Doctor stared at her for a moment and smiled, "You're adorable."

Kaeya blushed, "You're not so bad yourself," she chuckled and started searching through the basket again.

The Doctor shook his head upon returning back to the present moment, something that didn't go missed by Donna. Minerva was too busy looking for something decent to eat to notice anything.

"Minerva, do you mind?" the Doctor quietly gestured if she would allow him to stand.

She looked at him and nodded, "Sure thing," she stood and was immediately sat down when he had stood, "Is something wrong?" she asked when she noticed how pale he'd gotten so suddenly.

"Yeah," he swallowed, "Just, um, gonna go see about some horses."

"Oh no, no horses please," she pouted, "You know how I feel about them."

"Don't worry," he smiled, "Your Martian will be right there protecting you from the big bad horses," he teased and set a kiss on her lips.

"He better be or I'll kill him," she warned weakly after their kiss.

The Doctor smiled and set another kiss but on her head, "I'll be back," he whispered and walked off.

What was going on with him? Why did his mind choose to play this games with him!? He was happy where he was, he wanted Minerva, he lo...he wanted her and only her. Why must he keep thinking of Kaeya?

"Oi, spaceman!" he heard Donna holler behind. He looked over his shoulder to see the ginger grabbing the side of her kimono in order to catch up to him, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Donna, don't leave Minerva alone," he shook his head.

"Oh, she didn't mind. I told her I was getting changed for that horse thing. Mention horses and she wants nothing to do with it apparently," Donna shrugged, "But in reality I came for you. What's going on?"

"Nothing, why would you think something's going on?"

"I'm no idiot," she whacked his arm, "I've noticed how distant you've grown at times, like you're just not there with us. Now I told you this before, spaceman, I'm here to help both you and Minerva. What's the matter, eh?"

"I don't want to leave Minerva-"

"And yet you don't want to be with her right now and that means something truly bad is going on," Donna crossed her arms, "C'mon, I told you once to tell me the story. I'll listen, promise," she put a hand on his arm.

The Doctor looked past her towards the table where Minerva had been left in and sighed, "Find someone to keep her company, please? It won't be right to leave her."

Donna nodded, "Yeah, I'll get one of the new friends we made."

"Just no men around her age," he warned, "...or any man actually."

Donna laughed, "Yeah, got it," she gave a thumbs-up and hurried to do her task.

~ 0 ~

The Doctor and Donna walked through the small woods that served as a place for the horse riding to take place in, Donna now changed into more comfortable clothes including a a purple jacket with a black blouse, jeans and small black boots. Donna had convinced Minerva to spend some time with one of the families they had met earlier in the day while they were off 'horse riding'. With her terrible fear of horses, Minerva hadn't even questioned it and simply went with the family.

"So, wherever and whenever you want to start," Donna sighed lightly, doing her best to be patient with the Doctor.

He'd been silent (for the first time) for a quite a while now and Donna feared he'd never talk. But the Doctor took a breath and decided to go with the most urgent thing at the moment, "I keep thinking of Kaeya," he declared. He looked down when Donna's eyes widened, feeling ashamed of himself.

"What? What do you mean?" she asked.

"It's been happening lately, and it's bad I know, but...I can't stop it."

"Well, do you have feelings for her?"

"No, no, I just...look, Kaeya was and will always be something truly important in my life. She was my first love, a love that was never lived," the Doctor swallowed, "But I've got Minerva now." Just at the mention of her name he felt himself slowly relax and even smile a little, "She's my everything and I don't want to lose her by telling her about this."

"What do you think of Kaeya right now?" Donna decided to ask, perhaps there was a different reason for seeing the other woman that the Doctor hadn't picked up on.

"It's weird, I..." the Doctor paused to gather coherent words in his mind, "...sometimes, there's these little things that Minerva does or says that...remind me of what Kaeya used to do. I never really noticed how similar they are at times. It's peculiar to me."

"But they're not completely the same are they?"

"No, they're both kind women but there's sharp differences between the two," the Doctor nodded with assurance, "Kaeya never spoke out, she never had the courage to do what she wanted, no matter how much it harmed her. Minerva does, she did. She left her parents and went out to travel because she wanted to. Minerva's bold, she's got attitude, she's got sass, and..." he smiled softly, "...she's one woman you do not mess with."

"Except for when it comes to her family," Donna added with a sigh, making him sigh in agreement.

"That's all their fault, not Minerva's," he said, "She's all those things I just said because it's her personality. Kaeya always dreamed of being like that..." he sighed, "...but it never happened."

"Well listen, it's my understanding that you and that princess shared centuries together so naturally it's going to be popping into your head at times, but I wouldn't worry about it. What I think is going on is that you've never really spoken about her to anyone but Kaeya herself. I think you have all these memories of her that are trying their best not to be forgotten."

"So what do I do about it?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Talk to me about her," Donna nudged him, "C'mon, tell me about this snow princess."

"What do you want to know?" he raised his shoulders awkwardly. He would think a sister, whether by blood or not, would never want to hear about her sister's boyfriend's past love.

"Why didn't you ever take her away from that planet?" Donna began at the very beginning of her curiosity.

"The Moontsays are bound by the cold, they'd need to adapt slowly to warmer climate and Kaeya never had that opportunity. If I were to take her somewhere, she'd die."

"Ouch," Donna made a face, "So that's why you visited her instead?"

The Doctor nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "Yeah. At first, when I had no TARDIS of my own nor a family, I would steal the TARDIS I have now from its place and take it for a joyride to the Monsoon."

"Didn't you get caught?"

"I knew when to take it; I had every visit to the Monsoon perfectly calculated...when to go and when to come back."

"You were on a tight schedule, then? Blimey, what a 'date'," Donna chuckled.

"It had to be that way," the Doctor shrugged, "Kaeya had to sneak away from her home, from her guards, everyone. We'd usually meet on this lovely iced lake."

"And what did you do all that time you were there? I doubt you paraded down her city's streets or anything like that," Donna smirked, "What did you do, spaceman?"

"Donna," the Doctor looked away with a deep blush on his neck that slowly crept onto his face.

"This was before you met Minerva, everyone's got a past, no need to be ashamed," Donna shrugged.

"We didn't do anything bad," the Doctor assured but kept receiving elbows on his side like Minerva would, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Tell me the truth!"

"Ow!"

"Spaceman!"

"Alright fine," the Doctor stepped away from Donna, his hands in front of him to protect himself from the ginger, "So...you have to understand, Donna. I first saw Kaeya as a child, both of us, and I continued to see her each year for a couple minutes before the spaceship I was in would fly away from the Monsoon. One year, as a teen, I tried sneaking out of the ship to see her, and I was caught, so I went a long time before I saw her again."

"Aw, that's sad," Donna made a face.

"It was, that's when I stole a TARDIS for the first time, the TARDIS I would one day really steal and never give back," the Doctor smiled, "But by the time I did that I was over the age, a 'young adult' as Earth terms would proclaim. Kaeya was no longer that child I saw from a ship. She was...a beautiful young woman," he breathed, "She kissed me that first time we met face-to-face."

Donna rolled her eyes, "Is there any woman you haven't snogged?" the Doctor gave her a look up and down to answer her question and so Donna immediately pointed at him, "And it's staying like that," she warned.

"Kaeya and I...we knew nothing could happen, at least for the moment," he continued his story, actually finding it easy to talk to Donna for some reason, "But we still 'courted' as she used to say. We kissed, we had small dates on parts of the Monsoon, but it never went beyond that," he turned serious at the last words, "Never. I had plans for us, I wanted to marry her and take her away and show her the universe...but it never happened," Donna set a hand on his arm for encouragement, "One day my parents decided to arrange a marriage for me, claiming it was for the best. Of course they didn't know I'd been secretly visiting the princess of the planet most Time Lords despised. They'd chosen a woman for me, a 'proper' Time Lady."

"Did you tell them?" Donna asked quietly.

"I didn't have plans to tell my father, he was one to truly advocate against Moontsays. But my mother, she...was neutral. She never said anything kind but never anything bad about Moontsays. I wanted to tell her, but..." the Doctor shrugged and looked down, "...I was a coward. I felt everything was out of my control. There was a bride chosen, my bride apparently, and I was to marry her."

"What did you do, then?"

"I ran straight for Kaeya," he swallowed, "She was waiting for me like always, this big smile on her face as soon as I stepped out...but then she saw me...and she knew something was wrong."

"You told her," Donna gave a small, sad smile, "You did the right thing, you know? Most men would have simply stopped coming altogether, or worse...lie to her about it."

"She was the only one I couldn't lie to. I told her everything, and...you know how I told you she'd let Minerva and I be if we really wished?" he asked and Donna nodded, "I know she would do that because that's exactly what she did the first time. She actually encouraged me to marry another woman," he bitterly laughed, "That was Kaeya, too sweet for her own good."

"Like Minerva," Donna remembered his words from the beginning.

The Doctor nodded, "Kaeya didn't get angry, she didn't yell, she just...told me to go marry."

"Oh, that's...that's awful," Donna couldn't really find any more to say about that. There was nothing to be said. The woman gave up her love without a fight, just like the Doctor assured she would this time around when she'd find Minerva.

"After that, all our courting ended," the Doctor continued, this time uncaring if Donna was listening. He simply wanted to get it off his chest, let the emotions take over once and for all to finally stop thinking of the princess. Donna had been right, he needed to stop bottling it and just let it go.

"Anything that went beyond friendship vanished between us," the Doctor said, "I didn't want to stop seeing her, even if friends was the only thing we would ever be. But before getting married, I met my bride-to-be and I told her everything."

"You did that!?" Donna blinked, "Isn't that a big no-no!?"

"I thought maybe if I told her, she'd break things off and I'd be free again..." the Doctor shook his head, "...but she told me it was fine. She had no intention to break what ever was going on with Kaeya and I. She didn't want to be married, she apparently had had her own love who passed away. She wanted no love from me, she said she was only doing this for her family. But there was never to be any love between us. Actually," he took a breath, "She encouraged me to go see Kaeya whenever I could. She understood perfectly what it was to have a real love."

"That's big of her," Donna remarked.

"She was a good woman, I never had one complaint about her. Admittedly, if I had to have been in an arranged marriage, it would've been with her. She understood what my situation was like, the only difference being her love had died a couple months before her family told her about the arranged marriage. There was only thing she wanted in the world," the Doctor took in a breath, "A child. She wanted a child to dedicate her life to."

"Oh, see she didn't go light on the question," Donna gave a small chuckle.

"As a wife she had a right," the Doctor sighed, "But every time I saw my children, I couldn't help wonder what they would be like if they were..."

"Kaeya's?" Donna raised an eyebrow, smiling when the Doctor nodded, "It was impossible not to think of that."

"Throughout all that time, all those centuries, Kaeya was there for me. She loved seeing the pictures of my children, even grandchildren. She said she loved them because they were mine, and I knew she was telling the truth. She met one of them, you know."

"She did?" Donna blinked, "What happened!?"

"She met my granddaughter, Susan," the Doctor let a small laugh as he remembered at day, "Along with her two teachers, our current companions at the moment. They got along so well it stunned me."

"You expected some cat-fight or something?"

"No, Susan wasn't the violent type, but...this was a woman that was not her grandmother. Obviously, I was a bit afraid of what could happen," the Doctor smiled as he sighed in content, "But Kaeya was so kind, so welcoming. They grew to be very close, Kaeya even admitted once to me that she liked to pretend that Susan was our granddaughter."

"Did she ever...marry herself?" Donna curiously asked, "Have any grandchildren of her own?"

"No," he shook his head, "She remained unwed her entire life. She claimed she didn't want anyone else that wasn't me. I told her, I begged her, to make her own life. I even offered to stop visiting her if that would help her move on..."

"And what she say?" Donna could guess the answer by his shameful face.

"Never," he whispered, "She stayed single and waited for me to visit. After things ended with my marriage, I tried to tell her she needed to make her own life. Heck, I even decided to age just so that she could distance herself from me."

"You 'decided' to age?" Donna raised an eyebrow, "I thought you didn't."

"Well, the first incarnation you can decide whether or not you want to age, of course if you do decide to age ultimately you'll have to regenerate due to old-age."

"And you thought Kaeya would be that shallow she'd stop loving you because of some wrinkles and gray hair," Donna said in amusement.

"I made the mistake," the Doctor nodded, "She never stopped, despite the little phases I went through. Each incarnation she greeted me with open arms and a kiss on the cheek, nothing beyond that though. We kept true to our word, friendship only. She died when I was so far away, at least I thought she did, and I've lived with that guilt for so long now."

"But she's coming back," Donna reminded, "And you think of her because of your guilt. Of course there's going to be similarities between her and Minerva but that doesn't mean anything bad. I bet there's similarities between Minerva and I."

"Oh, there are," he cut her off, "Both bold, sassy-"

"I'd be very careful with your words, spaceman," Donna wagged a finger, "But my point is, let the past go. Kaeya is coming back and eventually she will make her own life. The past is the past, it's okay to spare her a thought now and then," she set a hand on his arm.

"But why now? Why when I'm happy am I thinking of her?" he insisted.

"There's no real answer for that," Donna sighed, "But perhaps it's because, like you said, that love with her was never lived, and now that you've found someone you can have...old memories come back. But don't fret about it."

"Should I tell Minerva of this?" he turned to her, nervously awaiting an answer.

"I think only you can decide that," she pointed, "I won't say anything, I'm gonna say that right now. It's not my story to tell."

"I'm afraid, Donna," he admitted, "I'm afraid of how she'll react to it."

"Just think on what's right for her and you, you'll figure it out," Donna assured and gave him a hug, practically knowing what he was going to do already.

~ 0 ~

Eventually, the Doctor and Donna had found Minerva back at the par. They found she had changed from her kimono, claiming it had gotten cold. She had grabbed a green, loose blouse with a black three-quarter sleeved blazer, and her silver necklace. She wore dark blue jeans and black, knee length boots with a small heel. Her hair remained in its bun although with the rubbing she had just done, it grew messier at the top.

The trio were looking at a nearby pond back in the woods, one that seemed to be full of fishes, even several frogs on their lily pads. Donna was really engulfed in them, hearing the Doctor explain what each fish was and what they did. Minerva was also interested...but she couldn't help feel like something was watching them. Every now and then she would look around in case there actually was someone stalking them. But there was absolutely nothing...and then...

She heard whispers...in her head.

It was like a couple voices were overlapping with each other, all trying to say something but nothing was coherent. She rubbed her temple, happening to look back and see a...a...blue light? Yes, it was a blue light. And it seemed to almost...glow. It was like a blob of blue light just floating in midair. She knew that light, at least she think she did. It was the same one that had appeared in the Valiant, not to mention the one that had teleported her out of the Titanic spaceship. But what was it doing here? And why did she feel like it calling her? Without thinking, she found herself walking away from the Doctor and Donna, the two distracted to notice her leave.

Minerva was determined to see what exactly that light was, why it had chosen to save her. She walked further into the woods, trying to pay attention to the whispers she kept hearing. However, everything was so jumbled up she couldn't make out anything coherent. She came to a stop in a small clearing where the blue light stayed by some trees ahead of her.

"Who are you?" she decided to speak out in a calm way. If she angered what ever it was, she may regret it and that was something she didn't want, "Listen, I guess you're alive, looks like it," she studied the light, "What do you want?"

The blue light glowed at her words, consuming the trees ahead of her. Ice started emerging from the roots, quickly rapping itself around the trunks...branches...leaves...

And then it rushed front the roots to the ground, almost chasing towards Minerva.

Minerva screamed and jumped back, "What are you!?" she cried, feeling her chest tighten for some reason. She felt...cold. She placed her hand over her heart, feeling it compress her chest, making it harder to breath.

"Minerva!?" she could hear the Doctor call, Donna calling after her a second later.

"H-here!" Minerva tried to yell but the air was leaving her body rapidly. She fell to her knees, her hand clutching her chest. The light reached up to her knees, just barely touching her. She screamed again. She could have sworn the ice hissed, like it was also in pain. She stared at the light suddenly rush away from her, almost running away her. She blinked, hugging herself while she shivered, her eyes watching the light seemingly fading...in a near sad manner. With it, the ice started disappearing into nothing.

"There you are!" the Doctor ran out from behind, dropping beside her to check what was wrong. He'd only heard her first scream and immediately realized she wasn't with then anymore, so he bolted to find her.

Minerva trembled as she pointed ahead, the Doctor turning just as Donna arrived to see the last of the ice from the tree's leaves disappearing.

"What the hell is that!?" Donna gaped.

"It was the light, the blue light from the Titanic" Minerva looked at the Doctor, "I think...I think it was hurt. It touched me and it got hurt, just like me. Doctor my chest hurts, a lot," she screwed her eyes shut from the pain, "It's like I can't breath!"

The Doctor knew it was the crystal complicating it for her and quickly took her into his arms. In extreme cases like these he could treat it like asthma and give her an inhaler. But he needed the TARDIS and so he quickly headed to the box, "It's okay, it's okay, shhh," he rubbed her back.

Donna had stayed behind and frowned as she stared ahead, tilting her head in confusion. She looked around and saw a small spot where ice had remained near a trunk of a tree.

"Donna!" he heard the Doctor shout for her.

Donna quickly turned and ran to catch up with the pair, "Is she going to be alright?" she looked at the barely conscious Minerva.

"Yeah, I just have to get her somewhere warm and give her an inhaler," the Doctor replied with haste.

"But I don't want to leave the festival," Minerva complained quietly.

"You're not staying, Clever Girl," he shook his head.

"Please, I want to stay in the festival."

"Minerva, I'm putting you to bed and that's that," the Doctor declared. But with that look she was giving him, a sad hopeful look, with her face stained of tears...he knew it wouldn't be easy to keep his word.

~ 0 ~

The Doctor was reading over Minerva's test results in the TARDIS med-bay, heavily sighing as he reached the end.

"Well?" Donna asked, standing beside him.

She had returned from checking on Minerva in her room, the girl asleep with dozens of blankets around her and on, her room's heater on full blast. To her, it literally felt like the freaking sun, but for Minerva...it seemed just right.

"Same as always, simply the crystal," the Doctor laid down the papers on the table in front of them, "And that I'm useless. Nothing new there!" He crumpled up the papers and threw it to a wall.

Donna laid a hand on his arm, "Hey, it's not your fault. You're doing everything you can."

But the Doctor shook his head, he was utterly frustrated because he couldn't do anything for Minerva. The only thing he can do is bundle her up in blankets and blast a heater, fat lot of good that was! He was useless because the one person he truly lo...cared for, was in danger and he couldn't do a damn thing. He couldn't even figure out what that little blue light was!

"It's alright," Donna cut into his thoughts.

"I should be able to cure her," he muttered, "She shouldn't have to live like this...I..."

"But she's happy, and that's what matters."

"Is she? Is she truly happy, Donna? Because I know anyone who lived like this wouldn't be too happy."

"Minerva is happy. And you wanna know why?"

"Enlighten me."

"Because she's with you," Donna smiled when the man's head snapped to hers, actually looking surprised which only made her laugh, "Doctor, she's told me all about you two and how you ended up together. The girl practically beams when you enter the room. And right now, when she feels 'sick', the only thing she wants to feel better is you. You think you're not doing anything for her but you are, you're really helping her just by being with her. Sooo, with that being said," she moved behind him and started pushing him for the doorway, "Go and see if she's woken up yet and make her feel better."

"Donna Noble you are something," he had to smile at the ginger as he was pushed.

"Yeah, yeah, temporal temp, non-important, blah, blah, now go!" she pushed him out to the hallway.

"Yes, but before," he spun around to face her, plopping a kiss on her forehead, "You are very important and I shall not have you running around my TARDIS without knowing so!"

She smiled softly, touched at his determination, "Thank you, spaceman."

"You're welcome," he nodded and went off to find his Clever Girl.

He went straight to her room, opening it just slightly to poke his head inside...only to see her bed was completely empty.

"Minerva?" he called, now coming inside. He looked around and saw no one so he went for the bathroom door, knocking on it several times, "Minerva? Are you in there?" he knocked again and awaited for an answer that never came. Cautiously, he opened the door just a crack, in case she hadn't heard him, "Minerva?" he poked his head inside, seeing no one around and so coming inside. He walked around, seeing nothing.

Where had that Clever Girl gotten to?

~ 0 ~

Minerva rested her back against a tree, her legs propped up to her chest, and her head tilted up as she stared at the dark sky above. She did her best to ignore her shivers or trembles, even if they were small she did still feel cold. She told the Doctor she didn't want to leave the festival yet, and even as the Martian refused to let her stay...he had kept the TARDIS in the festival where they had originally arrived. So, when she woken up and realized neither him or Donna were around...she made her escape.

But as she kept looking up to the sky, her mind seemed to drift back to the blue light she encountered earlier. That light...it felt...odd. It felt familiar in a way, but then again it had protected her back in the Titanic ship so she figured that was the reason behind it. However, she kept thinking on the noise of pain it had given when it touched her. It sounded like it had been in as much pain as she'd been. But that begged the question of why it had tried to touch her. Had it known that it would hurt both parties? Why had it even tried to touch her in the first place? For what purpose? The light was active, that much she knew, classified as alive who knew...but it had made a conscious move towards her. It even talked. She was sure those whispers she heard in her head were coming from the light, but what did it mean?

"I thought I'd find you here," the Doctor came around the tree, startling her out of her thoughts.

She looked up with an apologetic smile for her escape, "You stayed in the festival..."

"Of course I did, my Clever Girl asked me not to go," he held a red blanket in his arms, "I also assumed you had made your escape so quickly that you didn't bother getting something warm," he knelt down beside her and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders.

"Maybe," she confessed, biting her lip, "Are you mad?"

"No, of course not," he took a seat beside her, "Though I still say you should've stayed in your room where it was warm."

"That's boring," she scowled, "Boo. I wanted to come out and watch the rest of the festival..."

"While you shivered?" he pointed to her trembling body.

"Petty side effect," she waved him off, "Plus, I've got a Martian who always keeps me warm," she smiled slyly.

He caught her smile and shook his head, "You just love testing me, don't you?"

"Because you always fail me when talking about recreational mathematics, yes, I do."

"It's really not that hard, Minerva. I explained to you what the prime numbers was and-"

"La, la, la, la, la," Minerva covered her ears, "La, la, la, no math at a festival, la, la, la-"

The Doctor simply turned her head and kissed her. Minerva laughed against their kiss, she always won that argument. Every time one of the Doctor's lessons were about mathematics, she would push it aside or act so annoying that the man really only had the option of kissing her to make her shut up. Oh well...

"You are sneaky," he rolled on top of her, either legs of his on her sides so he wouldn't hurt her. He didn't weigh too much, at least he liked to think he didn't.

"You're the one that swiftly moved over me," Minerva bit her lip as the Martian neared her lips again.

"Are you still cold?"

She nodded, "My forehead is cold," so the Doctor moved up to kiss her forehead, "And my temples," two kisses were given to her temples, "My cheeks are cold too," she giggled as he kissed her cheeks, "And then these are extremely cold," she tapped her lips.

"You are very demanding aren't you?"

"Mhm."

"Well, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't keep my Clever Girl warm?"

"A very bad one..." Minerva smiled sweetly.

He just laughed and kissed her again. This time, though, he didn't plan on giving her a short little kiss, no...

Minerva's giggle broke through the kiss at the sensation of the Doctor's fingers brushing repeatedly on her sides, "Doctor," she gasped as his fingers moved to her back. Her skin was turning into goosebumps, but the good kind...a good set of chills she never experienced before, chills he provoked with his soft fingers.

Suddenly, though, the Doctor pulled away, feeling guilty about everything he told Donna earlier in the day...something that Minerva had a right to know about as well. He knew what was right. He was already hiding something monumentally big from her, the least he could was tell her of the lesser secret.

"What's going on with you, Martian?" Minerva sighed, her fingers tracing the sides of his face, "You've been acting weird lately, an extra weird for you."

"Minerva, there's something I need to tell you," he moved beside her, wondering if he would be able to hold her hand after he told her about Kaeya.

"What is it?"

"First, I just want you to know that I'm happy with you, okay?" he decided to go for her hand and hold it. At least if she got angry he would have the satisfaction he'd held her hand.

"I'm happy with you too," she smiled and gripped his hand.

"Minerva, I've..." he took a deep breath and let everything go as Donna had said, "...I've been thinking of Kaeya a lot more lately," he shut his eyes and awaited for the worst, even unconsciously gripping her hand in case she wanted to snatch it away from him.

"And?" Minerva blinked.

The Doctor's eyes snapped open and turned completely to face her, "And? What do you mean 'and'?"

"Just what it means," she shrugged.

"Minerva, I just told you I'm thinking about Kaeya, and..."

"You expected me to yell at you or something?" Minerva raised an eyebrow, sighing when the Doctor nodded, "I'll admit, it isn't to my greatest like that you think about her but it's natural. We're searching for her and clearly that's going to bring up some old thoughts about her. But thank you for telling me this," she rested a hand on his cheek, "I feel so special because you were honest with me. Frankly, I'd be a upset if you denied that you've been thinking about her."

"You would be?" he made a face of confusion.

Minerva nodded, "Because then you'd be lying to me," immediately, the Doctor's eyes darted to the side in guilt of his secret. She had no idea of the crystal that laid in her heart and he didn't want to think of what she'd do when she found out, "So it's okay, Martian, I'm not angry," Minerva assured him, "And thank you for taking me into consideration in all this."

"You're not...upset or anything?" he knew a smart person would stop insisting but he needed to make sure she was alright.

"No, truthfully, I've been thinking of her too," she admitted, "There's a lot of things that don't make sense about her encounter with the Master."

"But my thoughts aren't from that moment..." he said shamefully.

"They're from your time together," she finished what he couldn't, "It's okay, Martian. I wouldn't want you to act like nothing happened between you and her. That would be good for no one. I like being realistic, you know that. You think of your ex-girlfriend, to put it in simple terms. Big deal."

The Doctor took her hand off his face and gave it a kiss, "You are absolutely wonderful."

"And you are absolutely brilliant," she countered.

The Doctor leaned forwards and rested his forehead on hers, one of his hands still clutching Minerva's, his other making a trail up and down the side of her face. Her piercing jade-green eyes looked up at him with such softness and kindness in them it made him nearly melt. He felt like he could stay in this spot for an eternity as long as Minerva was right in front of him, the way she was. There were so many feelings rushing through him he didn't know what to say next, or what he could do.

"Minerva, I think I l..."

However, Donna approached the two with a big, red, rectangular gift box in her arms, "Oi!" she hollered, "There you are!"

The Doctor looked back at the ginger and saw the box, his eyes widening when he saw the box, "N-n-n-no! What are you doing with that? That wasn't for tonight!"

"What was?" Minerva asked, looking at him with confusion.

Donna took a seat in front of the two, leaving just enough space between them to place the box in, "Well the TARDIS was humming or whatever it does and then she showed me the gift," Donna explained, "Now what is it?" she leaned forwards with a smile that just screamed curiosity.

"It's not for you," the Doctor snapped then sighed, looking at Minerva, "It was for you."

"Me? But...it's not my birthday, it's not Christmas, no anniversaries or anything..." Minerva blinked, considering any other possible special occasion that could require a present.

The Doctor chuckled as he watched her grow more concerned she'd missed something, "No silly, I just wanted to surprise you. You've been a bit depressed lately so I figured I could help boost your mood up with that," he nodded to the gift.

"In that case, open it!" Donna exclaimed and patted the box.

Minerva sheepishly reached for the present and placed it on her lap, slowly ripping off the wrapping paper from the corners. She could make out a rather large square as she pulled down the paper, but when she opened it...her mouth hung open.

"A new Wahoo," she whispered, passing a hand down the box.

Donna scowled and tilted her head, "What is it?"

"It's um, an old game I used to play with my grandfather when I was a kid. A guy gave me one of these last year for my birthday but...it got left behind in 1969," Minerva looked at the Doctor, smiling softly, "Did you buy me a new one?"

"I figured what could make my Clever Girl happier than her favorite childhood game board?"

She leaned over and gently kissed him, "That could have," she whispered.

"I don't get it," Donna shook her head. How could a silly little game board make everything better? "Minerva, if you already had one why would you want another one?"

"It was left behind in 1969," Minerva reminded, "We were stuck there for a couple of months and a friend I made gave me one of these for my birthday. Though if I do recall..." she looked at the Doctor, "...it had made some one a tad upset..."

"Upset? Why would you be upset?" Donna asked him.

"Because it made her happy and it wasn't me that made her happy," he grumbled.

Just remembering that moment where Minerva had become so excited for the present that Jerome gave her made his blood boil. He wasn't upset she was happy, no. He loved seeing her happy, even back then. But it irritated him knowing that it hadn't been him that made her so excited and happy. It had been another man, another man that clearly had feelings for her and managed to snag a date with her meanwhile himself couldn't even confess his own feelings for her.

He loathed those days in 1969 where Minerva was closer to another man that wasn't him. Only he was allowed to make her smile, comfort, touch her, hug her, only him. And to see Minerva going on a date with Jerome and not him was, was...infuriating. Yes, infuriating because that meant Minerva could've fallen for Jerome and then that would lead to boyfriend and girlfriend and that was something the Doctor wouldn't stand for. That date of hers had been the breaking point of his indecision; the Doctor wanted Minerva to fall for him and only him. He wanted to be the one to ask her on a date, to give her that first-date kiss and hopefully become a boyfriend to her...and not Jerome. He was a helpless jealous idiot, but for Minerva he would be anything.

"Jerome was a nice," Minerva shrugged, biting back her laugh when the Doctor snapped his head to her, already annoyed he was talking about the man, "But I had my feelings somewhere else...on a certain Martian," she looked at him with a sheepish smile, "Now he made me truly happy when he decided to play with me."

"Well, can you teach me how to play?" Donna asked, taking the box from Minerva to look at it, "It looks weird..."

"It's fun, I promise," Minerva assured, gesturing her to start opening it. She then turned to the Doctor, "And you, thank you so much," she lunged on him when she kissed him, successfully pushing him to the ground, "Thank you!" she peppered kissed his entire face.

The Doctor laughed as he reached for her face, stopping her and unfortunately her kisses, "Glad you liked it."

"I promise I won't lose it," she swore before giving him one last deep kiss that left him with a burning desire for more. She sat up and started helping Donna set up the game, "Donna, you're gonna love this!"

The Doctor sat up and reached for the blanket Minerva had dropped behind. He wrapped it around her and scooted closer to her, watching her ecstatically rambling to Donna the instructions for the game. She truly did sound like him when she spoke that fast and excitedly, but she sounded so much better simply because it was her.

#ocappreciation #doctor who #10th doctor #fd: doctor who #dw imagine #dw fics #10th doctor fics #doctor who imagines #doctor who fics #donna noble #oc: Minerva Souza #oc: Kaeya Louvier #fic: star crossed

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lifeofbouyd · 5 years ago

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I just had to

Dear Bouyd,

There’s a lot of things that I’ve done in my past that I’m not too proud of. I'm sure we all have that sit and reflect on life moment that makes us wonder, what the fuck was I thinking? The funny thing about mistakes is, it either makes us or breaks us. I’m gonna tell you about one that made me and broke me at the same time. Please don’t judge.

I was only seventeen years old when I met Steven for the first time at a family reunion back in 2005. I’d normally find an excuse not to go, but this time, mom wasn’t having it. For every excuse, I made she had a resolution. So I was either gonna attend or pretend to be dead. I got dressed and headed out with them, hoping to have a terrible day. We pulled up to what seemed to be a bus park only to realize that it was the family parking lot for the event. Over one hundred vehicles, most of which were top of the line. These people seemed filthy rich and very organized. We walked across the park to greet who seemed to be the event organizers or the big money spenders in other words. I had seen the people once or twice as a child but I didn’t even know their names. There were so many people there that I felt lost. Kids running all over the place, elders playing dominoes, boys playing cricket and football and most the girls seemed to be gossiping. They were staring at me from the moment I got there. I felt like the new girl in school, with no friends or a reputation to protect me. I simply sat with the organizers and listened to them tell their life stories. I overheard them talking about Steven, saying he’s always late and they have a presentation for him. I then realized they had multiple gifts sitting behind them, one even had my name on it. “Speaking of the devil, here he comes.” Said, my mom. He pulled with his friends and they seemed somewhat elite. He wasn’t dressed as if he planned to take part in any of the events, he was rather “dapper” from head to toe, looking like a girls man. My mom gave out, “Yuh see how yuh cousin hot gyal, spoil brat dat eno.” I couldn’t help but laugh. He walked as if the ground adored him, with his head held high and a straight face. Almost everyone was staring at him. He kept staring at me while he hugged and greeted everyone and for some strange reason, it gave me butterflies. He walked slowly towards me and said, “I hope you’re just a friend of the family, I couldn’t live knowing I can’t have you.” My smile touched my ears as I blushed and stared at him. “Could I have your name and number in case I need to contact you in the future?” “I’m not sure if we’re family or not, but I do hope that we’re not”, I replied. To be honest, if he had come any closer to my Face I’d probably kiss him right then and there.

He invited me onto the field where we sat and chat for a while till his stupid ass friends came along. “Football time eno mad dawg” I wanted to squeeze their necks for taking him away. “As much as I’d love to stay and make you wet, duty calls, please forgive me.” I couldn’t help but smile at this niggas “cockiness”. He thought he had me. I watched them play for a while until I got super bored and decided to join the cheerleaders who kept screaming his name. He didn’t even score a goal so I really don’t see what they were going on about. He did look a bit “sexyish” in his gears now that I think of it. We chat for a while after the match before he left with his friends. We were both too shy to ask for each other’s number, so it was a total waste of a day. I got back home that night, filled my tub with bubble, and grabbed me a decent sized cucumber from the fridge. My clit was hard from the thought of him fucking me, slow and deep. I closed my eyes and rode that cucumber until my legs were shaking. I squirted within minutes. Holy fuck, he did actually have me weak. As tough as I thought I was, he had decoded me and left me to fend for myself. How stupid of me not to take his number, what the fuck is wrong with me? I was going crazy for Steven. Pussy jumping kinda crazy, want to be a big stinking freak with him kind of crazy. What if he is my cousin? I always heard old people say “cousin and cousin boil good soup.” Plus I’ve always found cousin porn on pornhub to be sexy. Just the thought made me want to climb a wall. How do I get to him, will I ever see him again? I fell asleep with my pillow clutching between my legs.

“Santana, Santana, wake up or we’re gonna leave you.” My mom shouted. I half opened my eyes to the sun shining through my window and mom standing at the door. She shouted again, even louder this time, “We’re going to the final day of the reunion, the dinner so put on something nice” I jumped up hearing such great news. I was gonna see him again after all. I looked across my room at the clock which was showing 1:36 pm, which couldn’t be right. At least ni to my knowledge, I don’t normally sleep that late. Or maybe it was that damn cucumber. I checked my phone hoping that the clock was fucked, but it was indeed correct. I rushed to the bathroom to take a shower then dragged my favorite dress and heels on. I did my face as if I was in a pageant and damped myself with my Dolce perfume. My dress was tight to the front so he’d see how bugged I was and the back sat gently on my hips and my but. It seemed like a runway kinda dress. I had one intention and one intention only, win Steven over. I knew would be competition, after all, these people are rich. What guarantees a broke girl like me a chance with him? It was either I go hard or go home. I was worried he’d be booked by the time I got there but funny enough, he saved me a seat right next to him. He was either as anxious as I was or pretty damn good at charming. He was super fly, from head to toe. His scent was to die for. I sniffed him so much my mouth tasted like him. He whispered one thing in my ear that made me have to rush to the bathroom to rub my clit. “I’d love for you to suck me and ride my dick right here, and ride it till I cum inside you.” He bit his lips and stared me dead in the eyes, “I bet you masturbated to the thought of me drilling you hard last night, how was it?” My underwear was soaking wet. We bumped into each while coming from the bathroom. He stole a slow wet kiss and braced his hard dick on my trembling legs. Again my pussy flooded, I melted into the wall. Anxiously I grabbed his dick and rubbed my hand gently across it. “I want to fuck you right now,” he said. Squeezing my neck, grabbing my ass and bracing his hard dick against me. He turned me around, now facing the wall with one hand on my shoulder. He slapped my ass hard and whispered in my ear, “I’m gonna fuck you here, be silent.” I arched my back and watched him lift my skirt to take a peek at my buff. I had never been so horny in my life. He rubbed his dick against my leg causing me to tremble. He shifts my thong and rubbed his big dick on my wet pussy. But by the time he could make his way inside me, my mom came calling. He ran for over in one of the girl’s bathroom and I acted as if I was washing hands.

I was dying for him, crying for him. Sigh, I wanted him so badly I didn’t even talk to my mom for days. The one chance I had, the one chance I created, gone to waste. I fucked my cucumber several times that night, trying to fill the gap, but that did nothing than make me hornier. He gave me his number but clumsily enough I didn’t save it. I felt like dying. Days passed and I was stuck with nothing but a fantasy. My boyfriend even left me for calling him, Steven. No boyfriend, no dick, no Steven 😔. I had given up on all hopes of ever seeing him again. After all, I had no contact with him nor anyone back there. So why torture myself. I woke up one morning to message I will never forget.

Message:

Good morning. I apologize for taking so long to get to you. It took quite some time to find you.

My dick is still hard and I can still feel your lips on mine. I miss you, come see me, please.

I sat there for a while, laughing to myself, thinking this was my stupid ass boyfriend looking some pussy. I replied with a “who this” only to get the shock of my life.

Message: It’s Steven. The one and only.

My panties soaked, my heart started racing, making it hard to breathe. I couldn’t believe for a second it was him so I called. His voice, sigh, shit. Now my pussy is wet all over again. He told me how he wanted to fuck me and make me suck his dick. He expounded on every single detail, from the foreplay to the orgasm. God, I came so hard. But how was I gonna see him? He lived all the way on the other side of the country. I thought long and hard and then it hit me. My dad was always saying I should go spend time with my family in the country. Steven lived just up the road from them so that was our best shot. Foolish enough they sent me the next day. Putting little red riding hood in the big, bad wolf’s mouth. I took all my sexy panties with me, even ones I’ve never worn before. I wanted him to feel like a king while taking my clothes off. He made arrangements for us to go to a party that night, some hot shot party at his friend’s place. I got my self dressed and anticipated his arrival. Patiently waiting for what’s to come. I was fine until he started whining on me, bracing his dick against my nice little ass. He banged me hard and made me super wet. He said he was ready, he had work early in the morning, so he’s gonna drop me off and we’ll link up in the morning. I got angry, super angry, as I thought he was going to fuck me. On our way back he made a detour, said he needed something at his house. I followed him inside only to see a room full of balloons and a card sitting on the bed. It read: Tonight I take what’s rightfully mine, take off your clothes or if you don’t mind I can always shift it to the side. Now he didn’t have to say it twice, I was butt fucking naked in less than five seconds. His dick stretched across his pants like a snake. I flicked his shirt off and swooshed his pants one side. We started kissing, deep and passionate. He squeezed me ass and nibbles on my tits, my body got so numb I could even feel the vibration of my clit. He sucked my nipples hard and finger fucked me till I came all over his hand. I laid on my back with my legs wide open, pulling him in to fuck the hell out of me. But he wasn’t going in that easily. He teased me, squeezed me and made me beg before sliding the head inside. I came again. He pushed and shoved and stroked me until I was numb. I couldn’t take no more. I pushed him on his back and stared at his big black dick. “You can suck it if you want you know, I won’t tell anyone but you.” He gave out. But I ain’t ever sucked a dick before and I sure as hell didn’t want to choke. “No teeth, just mouth,” he said. Believe it or not, I slapped my tongue around a couple of times, from ballot head, and from head to ball and back. I opened my mouth as wide as I could to take him down my throat, but I couldn’t even half his dick. Omg, my boyfriend begged me so many times to suck his dick and I wouldn’t. But for Steven, I suck him right now if I could. He fucked me even harder when I was finished. Making me squirt several times. With his dick half way in my tummy, he was sucking on my tits and rubbing my clit. He knew exactly where to push his dick and how long to hold it there. He fucked me for at least an hour before cumin. That was satisfaction guaranteed. No one has ever made me feel like that since the last time we fucked and I just can’t let him go.

Now u know it’s wrong to fuck my cousin, but god as my whiteness, I’d fuck him again and again if I could. Unfortunately, he’s now living overseas and I’m stuck with this empty feeling of incomplete. I just had to fuck him and I’m patiently waiting till he gets back home to fix me up again. Fuck me all over the place and make me rain. I masturbated several times while writing this and I’m still gonna masturbate again when reading it on your page. I have no regrets and I just hope y’all will love my story and not judge me.

Yours Truly,

Santana

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writernotwaiting · 6 years ago

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Mis-Matched, Part 4

In this chapter: Sigyn is frustrated; Loki does some work in the library (real research this time); and woosh, did someone turn up the heat? I think it just got a little warm in here.

Title: Mis-Matched Rating: M (this is subject to change at the whim of the author’s muses) Characters: Loki, Sigyn, Frigga, Theoric, and various supporting OCs Description: This is an attempt to fill the propmt requested by @someillplanetreigns (and now I can’t even tag you!): “you asked for prompts and pairings - I would like to humbly beg for more Logyn? I don’t have a great prompt, but this odd thought is in my head about a way to make the comic plot about Theoric and the marriage into something about marriage by proxy? Maybe something like Loki has the duty of proxy-marrying Sigyn cos Theoric’s in the army, and totally plays everyone by going the whole hog and appearing as Theoric, but then Sigyn, who thought Theoric was dull as ditchwater and Loki is… well, y’know, Loki.” I’m not sure this is precisely what you wanted, so I apologize in advance for my wayward muses – Loki does what he wants. Chapter: 4 of 5 -- yes, I know; I said that this would be the last chapter--I swear to god that the next chapter really will be the last one! I’m really sorry! Acknowledgements: thank you @icybluepenguin for serving as one of my favorite Editor Supreme and Director of Continuity Oversight!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 on Ao3

__________________________

As soon as she was able, Sigyn practically ran back to her room, stuffed her skirts into her mouth and screamed. There wasn’t even anything she could break or set fire to—none of it was hers, and surely the smoke would attract attention. She sank down to the floor in front of the desk chair and beat the cushions for all she was worth.

Aaaargh! The Norns are having a mighty fine laugh at this, aren’t they? So much for patient resignation. He can’t do this to me! I can’t do this. How am I going to survive this?

She sat on the floor arms draped over the seat cushion for a good 15 minutes before she started feeling really stupid, and finally looked up, and turned around to lean back against the chair leg.

Ah, goat’s piss, girl, you do what you’ve been doing. Keep your head down. Smile and nod. Be helpful, but not too helpful. Don’t set anything on fire. By all that’s fated—DON’T SET ANYTHING ON FIRE!!!!

This whole behaving one’s self was definitely overrated. Well, one small consolation she could count on was that after consummation, Theoric would be absent from home often—as long as Asgard was at war, his services would be needed elsewhere—and Asgard was always at war with someone. Thank the Norns for tiny favors.

Her father’s money would keep Theoric’s aging estate afloat. Herr Braggison would get whatever kickback Theoric had promised, and Sigyn would be well out of the public eye and away from anyone who might be overly interested in enforcing immigration statutes. It then occurred to her that maybe she should read up on those statutes while she had access to a law library, so she at least knew what I’m hiding from.

See? I can be rational.

She looked at the time piece on the mantle—two hours until supper. Time enough for a quick bath before she got her notes in order for the queen. She reminded herself of her mantra:

Smile and nod.

Be helpful, but not too helpful.

Don’t set anything on fire. [read more cut below]

Loki, on the other hand, went right from the botany library over to genealogy. He had already looked through Theoric’s and Herr Bragisson’s pedigrees with a fine-toothed comb and hadn’t come up with anything suspicious. Theoric’s blood was as blue as the underside of a glacier—an ancient country estate with impeccable bloodlines. He was probably even Odin’s fourth cousin twice removed. There was nothing improper to dredge up there. It did, however, confirm his hunch. The estate was ancient but was parasitical. It had no means of supporting itself in the style to which its owners were accustomed, and badly needed an influx of cash.

Herr Braggison’s bloodline was quite a bit more mundane—money made in trade—and he certainly seemed to need no money, but Loki had seen enough of the man to know that his veins flowed with the ink of a ledger, so some profit motive for Sigyn’s marriage arrangements would come as no surprise.

Today he would delve into Sigyn’s family. But here he ran into a bit of a road block. Loki found the father—a trader in exotic wines and alcohols. He could trace the paternal line with no trouble. As for the mother . . . nothing. Well, not nothing, there was a marriage certificate. But that’s it. He searched everywhere.

Alright then, what was Trygge doing in the year before he married Ilona. That meant reading trade records.

I hate reading trade records.

But how hard could it be, really? Merchants had to apply for travel within realms—it wasn’t always safe, what with shifting alliances and trade agreements, so if Trygge had gone off-world there would be permits involved. And it wasn’t all that difficult to find them.

Alfheim.

Trygge had applied to travel to Alfheim to buy sweet wines, there were the dates, but wow, he was gone for a long time.

That’s an awfully long trip for just sweet wines. Was there anything else in the import manifest?Where’s the manifest? Of course, it’s in a completely different part of the library.

Trade manifests.

Ah ha! Sweet wines. Elven liquors. Fire whiskey. Lots and lots of fire whiskey?

Fire whiskey was from Muspelheim. There is no trade agreement with Muspellheim. There had never been a trade agreement with Muspellheim. Intercourse with Muspellheim is, in fact, strictly forbidden and has been for ages.

So, Sigyn’s father had purchased fire whiskey through a third party? Did Alfheim have a trade agreement with Muspellheim?

More records—lists of liquor dealers in Alfheim 900-1000 years ago.

Norns, I hate trade records!

Two hours later, Loki had come up with one possible source—there was one—singular—dealer of fire whiskey in Alfheim during the ten years prior to Trygge’s marriage to Ilona. The Fire Stone Inn: sole proprietor, Aeldit—formerly of Muspellheim.

Wow! Look at that stack of permits.

Permit #6870043: special dispensation for non-citizen ownership rights to The Fire Stone Inn to one, Aeldit, formerly of Muspelheim

Well, that answered the question of how Tryyge had bought fire whiskey without traveling to Muspellheim, but look at all these other permits:

“Permit #6870044: special dispensation for non-citizen proprietorship of a hospitality-oriented business, to aforesaid Aeldit.

Permit #6870045: special dispensation for non-citizen sale of food and beverages, to aforesaid Aeldit.”

Permit #blahblahblah . . . Ah! alright then--

“Permit #6870056: for the manufacture and sale of fire whiskey, ‘based on his father’s own recipe.’

Permit #68070057: safety dispensation for a minor involved in the manufacture and sale of fire whiskey—daughter, Ilona, claimed to be essential in the running of family business.”

Wait, what?

Daughter, Ilona, essential in running the family business.

Trygge’s wife—Ilona.

Urd’s stinking well, Sigyn’s mother was a fire giant!

Why does that make Sigyn even sexier?

It doesn’t matter, because by all the water in Urd’s stinking well, I am stupidly in love with her.

He went to his mother right after supper.

“We have to talk.”

“Have you discovered something?”

Loki looked around to make sure all of Frigga’s ladies had gone. “Fire whiskey.”

Frigga furrowed her brow. “Don’t be cryptic, dear. Occasionally you need to spell things out, even to me.”

“Sigyn’s father, Trygge traded in exotic liquors. While on a trading excursion, he found a supplier for fire whiskey. Made by an actual fire giant. Who had a daughter.”

“Yes?”

“Trygge married the daughter. Sigyn’s mother was a fire giant.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Sigyn’s mother was a fire giant.”

Frigga sat down.

It’s not often Loki struck his mother silent. He tried to savor it, but he was a little too nervous to really enjoy it as he ought.

When she recovered, her response was probably predictable.

“That’s not possible, Loki. There’s been no legal interaction with Muspellheim for millennia, even diplomatic contacts are mediated.”

“A person who lived lived in Alfheim and sold fire whiskey was granted a huge stack of permits granting him “non-citizen’s rights” to operate the business. Sygin’s father was a liquor importer and acquired massive quantities of fire whiskey while on a trip to Alfheim. He also, seemingly, acquired a wife on the same trip, a wife who has the same name as said dealer in fire whiskey.”

“And there were no other sources for the fire whiskey.”

“Well, elves definitely do not make fire whiskey using a family recipe.”

“No, they do not.”

“And when you think about it, Sigyn definitely does not look as though her mother was an elf.”

Frigga sighed. “No, she does not.”

“So Trygge probably smuggled his new wife into Asgard when he returned with three barrels of legally purchased fire whiskey.”

“Because of course there are no records of her mother entering the realm legally.” Frigga frowned as she spoke.

Loki shook his head. “None.”

“And does explain her father’s insistence that she marry early, and well.”

Loki nodded and began to fidget with his hands. “Is this a problem?”

“Potentially.”

“How big of a problem?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure.”

Loki dropped onto the sofa next to her. “Mother, honestly? I really need it to not be a problem.”

She carded her fingers into his hair. “Oh dearest, you know I’ll have to speak to your father about this.”

Loki groaned.

�� “Well, he would have to be involved in these discussions at some point, anyway, sweetheart. This just means I will have to involve him a little bit earlier.”

They sat quietly for a few minutes before Frigga broke the silence, “There is still the matter of the contract.”

“Actually, I’m not all that worried about that. I’m pretty sure Theoric only agreed to the marriage because his estate desperately needs cash, so I really think he could be bought off. And since the marriage has yet to be consummated, and I’m also fairly certain that the contract is not strictly legal, since Sigyn is not a legal resident. If this is the case, then the contract could easily be annulled. By the proper authorities.”

Frigga smiled, “By the proper authorities.”

“So really the biggest obstacle is . . .”

“Your father.”

“My father.”

“And you might want to speak to Sigyn, as well.”

“Right. That could be important.”

So his mother would talk to Odin, and Loki would talk to Sigyn.

Goat’s piss. I’ve got to talk to Sigyn.

Loki cloaked himself and went to find her room.

For her part, now that it was getting late, Sigyn sat in her bed staring at an open book that she had not been reading for the last 30 minutes.

She wasn’t frustrated any longer.

Sigyn was angry.

What in the known universe was Loki playing at, anyway? “We’ll talk later.” What does that mean? There is nothing to talk about. What gives him the right to jerk me around like that when he knows I can’t do anything? Selfish bastard. Just because he’s a prince he thinks he can have whatever he wants and do whatever he wants and there won’t be any consequences. Well, there might not be any consequences for him, but there absolutely be consequences for me. Permanent consequences. I can’t even defend myself without getting into trouble. I would set fire to his spellbooks if it weren’t a waste of good reading materials.

Of course, just at that moment, someone knocked on her door. Who in Asgard . . .?

She tied her robe tight over her sleep clothes and pulled open the door.

“Loki?”

He glanced quickly down the hallway before asking, “May I come in for a short while?”

“That’s really not a good idea.”

Loki swore he felt the temperature drop, and he swallowed nervously. “I cloaked myself. No one saw.”

“And that makes it ok?”

He felt colder. “I just need to talk to you. Please?”

After a long pause, Sigyn reluctantly stepped out of the way so he could pass into the room. Once he was fully inside, she stood against the closed door and crossed her arms, making no attempt to make him comfortable.

Loki fidgeted as he stood in what little floor space existed in the small room. Finally, Sigyn jerked her chin upwards and raised an eyebrow. She was not in the mood to be helpful. “Well?”

Loki frowned briefly, then pulled the chair away from the desk. “Won’t you sit down?”

“No, I think I’ll stand, thank you.”

“Alright, if you prefer.”

“I do.”

Loki moved over to the bed and wrapped a hand around one of the posts as if its solidity would serve as a mental brace. He cleared his throat. “I want to talk to you about your contract.”

Sigyn’s mouth fell open, this was clearly not the conversation she had been expecting. “What?”

Loki stood a little straighter and ran a hand down the front of his jacket. “I want to talk to you about your marriage contract. You never signed the betrothal papers, and pardon me if this seems to overstep my bounds, but I sense that you are less than enthusiastic about the marriage. I feel it’s my responsibility to make sure you aren’t entering into something unwillingly.” He took a breath. “Sigyn, has this marriage been forced on you?”

Sigyn opened and closed her mouth several times trying to find words that made sense, her face suddenly hot as she looked Loki directly in the face and tried to decide whether she was embarrassed, frightened, or enraged. In the end, all she could spit out was, “Why do you care?”

He couldn’t quite maintain a neutral facade when he replied, “Well . . . it’s a matter of honor . . . why would I not care?”

She snorted. “Honor? Is that what you call that little display in the library, then? Is a seduction more honorable when it’s only a woman’s reputation at stake rather than her husband’s?”

He flushed. “That has nothing to do with this.”

She crossed her arms again. “Does it not?”

“No. Yes. Not the reputation part, but . . . ah, Freya’s cats are easier to talk to. Why are you making this so difficult? It was a simple question.”

Sigyn walked right up into his personal space. “Not. So. Simple. You explain yourself or I’m not answering any questions. I’m not going to be manipulated into becoming a hanger on.”

“A hanger on? Is that what you . . .? No! That is not what I meant at . . . how could you think that?”

“Really?” And looking at him like he had quite lost his higher brain function—which to be fair, he rather felt he had at that point—Sigyn turned away and sat down heavily in the desk chair.

Loki scrubbed his face and grit his teeth. He made a fist and jabbed a finger in her direction as he took a deep breath to speak. He snapped his mouth shut again, lips in a tight line as he scrunched his eyes shut and counted to five.

He opened his eyes and breathed out heavily before he spoke, “I don’t want a hanger on. Alright. Here is the truth—and you really aren’t playing fair here, but this is the whole of it because you are clearly not being rational—I don’t want you to marry Theoric. He’s a thick-headed, slow-witted idiot, who’s never seen the inside of a book that he liked, whose preferred bed-mates, pardon my crassness, have all been blond, enormous-breasted doxies. The very idea of you spending the rest of your life linked to that rock-headed ass-end makes me furious, and I would actually prefer-it-if-youwouldmarrymeinstead-and-I-think-I-can-get-you-out-of-your-established-marriage-contract-wouldthatbeprefferabletoyou?”

By the time Loki got to the end of this speech Sigyn’s eyes were as wide as trenchers and her mouth hung open in shock. She blinked. Closed her mouth. Blinked again. When she finally responded, her voice was very small. “I have no idea how to answer that.”

“Yes. You could just say yes.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“I think it is.”

“There are things that make this particularly complicated.”

“I know.”

Her brow pulled together in frustration and sat up straighter. “No, you don’t know.”

Loki walked over to her and pulled her chair around so he could lean against the desk while they talked. “Actually, I do know.”

Sigyn cocked her head suspiciously, both annoyed by his seeming obtuseness, and aroused by how effortlessly he shifted her around in that chair.

“I do know,” he repeated, but then Loki suddenly realized the potentially stalkerish behavior of his research, and his eyes darted nervously between his hands and her face before he gathered the nerve to launch into his explanation, “Right. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I, um, I did some research—a lot of research, in fact, in the library—and I, um, found out about your mother’s origin and why those origins might be the reason for Herr Braggison’s insistence on this particular marriage and its haste, and um, I want to assure you that those origins are very much not a problem for me, and I am willing to, um, work toward not having them be a problem for any other, erm, potential contracts that you might, um, choose to enter into.”

Sigyn’s voice came out in a whisper now. “And you would like for that contract to be with you?”

Loki finally looked directly into her eyes, and his voice also became extremely quiet. “Yes.”

“And how,” her voice still low, “do you propose to make any of this possible?”

Loki dropped to his knees in front of her, took her by the hand and began to play nervously with her fingers. “I believe that, since the contract was made between a citizen and a non-legal resident who was also a minor at the time the betrothal was signed, that the contract is not legally recognizable. I also believe that after the contract is annulled, that I can petition the royal council to grant you permanent residency after which you could legally enter into negotiations for a new contract.”

“And you have reason to believe that petition would be granted, why?”

His gaze shifted from her face to the fingers he held in his own, and he smirked. “I have it on good authority that the petition would be supported by the queen.”

A slow smile began to show on Sigyn’s face to match the warmth that had started to spread through her chest. “Do you, now?”

“I do,” and when his eyes moved back up to meet hers they were full of mischief.

“Well then, it might be worth an attempt.”

Loki’s focus never wavered from her face as he leaned forward and brought her fingers to his lips. “We’ll consider it a plan, then.” And though the first touch of his lips to her fingers was a chivalrous gesture, the next thing she felt was the wet tip of his tongue when he brought it out to taste the very end of her fingertip, and then his teeth began to nip. Her mouth once again fell open and she flushed down her chest as he took the tip of that finger into his mouth and sucked gently. Her heart beat hard enough to shake her clothing and her breath became shallow.

He slowly slid her finger out of his mouth and asked, “Is this alright?”

Her assent was the smallest of nods.

He smiled broadly as he moved even closer, his face centimeters from her own, hands sliding up her arms to rest on either side of her neck. “Then perhaps this would be agreeable, as well.” He brushed her lips with his own, feather light, thumbs resting under her jaw, then pressed forward into a soft kiss.

Sigyn drew back barely enough to break contact. “That would absolutely be agreeable,” she whispered, and leaned into his touch once more, lips parting in invitation.

She closed her eyes as she concentrated on the soft warmth of his mouth, on the taste of him flooding hers, and on the slow, wet slide of their tongues against one another. When they finally broke apart nothing existed but the dark green eyes inches from her own. She could barely breathe, even as her fingers found bare skin at his neck and fluttered over it, as if she could taste him that way as well, feeling the lines of muscle and following them up to trace around the shell of his ears, brush the softness of the lobes and comb through the hair at the base of his neck.

His own hands explored downward, sending tingles through her skin as he followed the collar of her sleep shirt over her clavicle, down to play at the dip in her cleavage, sneaking inside the fabric to cup her breast as he leaned in again for more of those glorious kisses. Loki drank in the little notes of pleasure that welled up with each touch, just as Sigyn swallowed down his own soft moans.

A distracting crick in his neck prompted him to pull back just slightly. “Sigyn, can we . . .?” And pushed the chair back slightly before pulling her down to straddle his lap on the floor and into another kiss. “Mmmmm, mch bttr.”

She giggled and wrapped her arms and legs tightly around him to settle in as close as possible, gaining a needy groan for her efforts as she felt his cock hard through their clothes and she rocked against him.

Loki buried his face in her neck. “Oh Norns, Sigyn, I have dreamed about this.” Soon his lips mouthed wetly at her pulse point as he inhaled the smells of her—soft amber soap mixed with the lingering scent of the library. His mouth continued its travels south. He pulled her tunic aside to reveal a smooth copper shoulder, and he paid worship to the newly revealed skin while she watched, mesmerized by the path marked out by his lips and tongue, by the contrast between his ivory complexion and her own darker skin, whimpering when his hand lifted her breast free of the shirt and he sucked at the tight nipple he discovered.

Loki smacked his head hard on the desk behind him when someone rapped loudly of the door.

#Loki #Sigyn #Logyn #fan fiction

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musingsbetweenthepages · 6 years ago

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Goodbye 2018 🎉🎉

So this year has been a lot of ups and downs. I started this blog up and I’ve been learning how to use it, as well as navigate around tumblrs new rules that are all kinds of weird. But it’s also gotten me to interact more with the bookish community and try my hand at different challenges (like the Xmas recommendations that I failed to keep up with thanks to the stress of a new job). But ultimately it got me reading more books. Especially books that are from POC perspective. I grew up very whitewashed even though I am a POC. My mom and her side of the family kept it hidden for so long that I was a mixed race child (I’m actually Hispanic/Latino, Native American, and North African) that it took me taking a DNA test with my half sister to find all of this out. We both knew my father was a compulsive liar but we never realized how badly of one he was with lying all through my childhood that he was white when he so clearly wasn’t. And my mom helped whitewash him. I didn’t grow up with my culture or connections to my heritage. I grew up with the white side that looking back was actually kind of racist. Which makes sense as their racism all came out full swing thanks to Trump. My siblings and I, along with a few Hispanic cousins we had (who’s father’s were cousins of my mom’s) were the odd kids out with being darker skinned, dark haired and dark eyed. Everyone else was blond and blue eyed and beautiful. They were all told constantly they were pretty while we were told we’d be more appealing if we dyed our hair blond and stopped letting our skin darken. When I’m out of the sun, my skin isn’t that dark, I just tan really easily. Anyways what I’m trying to get at is that it’s been an interesting year in books with reading more of what interests me, as well connecting more with my heritage. I know I went on a long winded explanation there and I’m sorry about that. But basically what I wanted to explain was that I was never really allowed to read books from the point of view or dealing with POCs. I’ve never read Maya Angelou before so part of my goals for next year is reading one of her books. I was pretty much banned from reading any books from blacks or hispanics, which now I realize was my mom whitewashing what I could read. She’d make a big stink if I wanted to read something that wasn’t about a white person, going so far as to say how they “didn’t have anything of importance to write” compared to what she was allowing me to read. However, back when I was merely 8-10 years of age, I believed her. I trusted my mom and kept her words close to me. Now that I haven’t spoken to her and I know the truth of my DNA, I’m buckling down to read all I can!

#ending the year #2018 #new year #new year in books

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moviestorian · 6 years ago

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your tags in that 'demelza, queen of subtlety' gifsets are on point. There were so many moments in S2 where she was unnecessarily rude towards Elizabeth, even before Francis died; but that moment, and the one in 2x03 when everyone's celebrating and she's giving Elizabeth the stink eye. I don't understand why everyone loves that when she was being weirdly passive aggressive for no reason. Even after Francis died, I understand her frustration. But Elizabeth isn't solely to blame. UGH.

Hi anon!

In case anyone’s wondering, this is a reference to the scene in Poldark 2x03, when Elizabeth is dancing with Francis, and Demelza gives her this look:

I feel like the thing you mentioned, anon, is very often being looked over, so I would like to discuss it in detail and this is totally going to get long, so in case you wouldn’t wish to read everything…

TLDR: I absolutely agree with everything you said.

Now, the longer reply, under the cut so that it won’t crash anybody’s dash.

There were so many moments in S2 where she was unnecessarily rude towards Elizabeth

Oh, definitely. For example the two scenes you mentioned: the harvest party and the ending scene in 2x04 when everyone’s raising a toast and she gives Elizabeth this look, for absolutely no reason:

And Elizabeth’s smile is immediately fading, because she clearly did notice that look:

And when Francis says something immediately afterwards, Demelza still has this expression on her face:

Very friendly, right? And what did Elizabeth do to deserve that look at this particular moment? Literally nothing - she didn’t even say a word (other than raising a toast, like every other character did in this scene) and wasn’t looking at Ross. She was only standing alongside her husband and her little son, and was actually smiling in Demelza’s direction. Demelza let her suspicions and jealousy to take over, so she starts seeing a threat in Elizabeth even when she has no reasons to be jealous.

Now, let’s come back to 2x03 and the harvest party scene. Why is she looking at Elizabeth with this snarky smile on her face? Right, because Ross is looking longinly at ‘the love of his life’ (sarcasm) from a distance, avoiding the company of his wife. Or actually wait, the order of smirks in this scene is as such:

Francis asks Elizabeth for a dance and she gladly agrees, and she looks at FRANCIS (not Ross)like this:

To which Demelza stares at her like:

As they continue dancing, Elizabeth doesn’t even look at Ross. Her attention is all on Francis:

But obviously Ross is staring from the distance like this:

As he briefly looks at his wife, she (rightfully)directs her grim at him, but then looks at Elizabeth again and finally into completely another direction, and later joins the dance.

Ross started giving Elizabeth the longing look even before, and we as viewers certainly see that, but it’s not clear whether Demelza did, before the dancing scene. And every time I watch this scene I can’t help the impression that she makes this face not only because she is jealous about Ross, but also because Elizabeth leads a happier life in this particular moment.

Both of these scenes never fail to amaze me, for two reasons. First of all, that fandom always seem to take Demelza’s side, not even caring to get into Elizabeth’s shoes. And when it comes to the narrative itself, I find it unbelievable that Demelza STILL directs her jealousy at Elizabeth more than she does at Ross in the exact same episode in which she had such a conversation with Elizabeth:

D: He don’t wish for another [child]. Since Julia he haven’t the heart for it.

E: And we’re to blame.

D: It is not my belief.

E: It’s good of you to say so, but the fact that there’s still discord between our families…

D: There is. And I think it will not be lightly set aside. By Ross at least.

Demelza perfectly knows that Elizabeth wants their families to reconcile, and that it’s Ross who keeps being stubborn and even straight up admits that it’s Ross who doesn’t want to make certain things right. She knows Elizabeth is, at this point, quite happy with Francis and wants to be in good terms with Ross and Demelza. She expressed in this conversation, and she is the one to invite the Nampara P*ldarks to the harvest. Elizabeth even says to Demelza “Thank you for bringing him”, and it was not, as far as I’m concerned, meant like “Thank you for bringing him so I can flirt with him”. She said that because they both knew how hard was it to convince Ross to come, and Elizabeth knew it’s Demelza’s contribution that he did. And yet, Demelza gives her a jealous look when Elizabeth is dancing with Francis or earlier, when the two P*ldark families are greeting one another and Ross kisses Elizabeth’s hand…Which is merely a courtesy? And Francis kisses Demelza’s hand as well so following this logic Elizabeth also should be giving her a snarky look at this moment.

So basically Demelza says that the conflict will not be set aside because of Ross, but at the same time she’s literally building a wall between herself and Elizabeth, who’s trying to be polite - she was having a conversation with Demelza before her mother interrupted them, and was clearly displeased with Mrs Chynoweth’s comment about scullery maids. And yet in the next episode Demelza’s attitude towards Elizabeth became only more tense, which means more snarky smiles and looks. Sounds like a hypocrisy to me.

One could say: but Demelza had tons of reasons to feel jealous about Elizabeth, and her cold look in 2x04 is caused by the obvious flirting between Ross and his cousin’s wife she overheard in the previous episode. And yes, absolutely, Ross gave her tons of reasons to be jealous and was acting terribly to her for most of the time, but I don’t like the fact how she directs her suspicions at Elizabeth when she has literally no reasons to blame her and the only person she should be giving bitchy looks to is her own husband. And maybe…she could actually talk to Elizabeth and tell her about her fears? But nooo, it’s better for everyone to just allow yourself to be clouded by your suspicions. As for the post-party scene in which Ross clearly starts hitting on Elizabeth again, the problem is exactly that Demelza heard a huge part of it. So she hears Elizabeth saying things like:

That was long ago. And you’ve been more than happy since, with Demelza.

(…)

But you and I would never have been happy together. Our characters are too different. (…)

You should go to bed, Ross. Demelza will be thinking you’ve gone astray.

Everything Demelza hears from Elizabeth is far from flirting, on her side at least. She is not encouraging him, on the contrary - she reminds him about Demelza, twice. Ross and Elizabeth are alone in the room, and both had no idea Demelza is listening, so if Elizabeth intended to flirt with Ross, that would be the perfect moment. And yet she doesn’t, and Demelza, even despite having this knowledge, doesn’t change her attitude.

I don’t understand why everyone loves that when she was being weirdly passive aggressive for no reason.

Me neither. Both the show’s narrative and the fandom always make it look like Demelza is never wrong, which is deeply frustrating to me. I LOVE book Demelza and I adored her in season 1, she used to be my favourite P*ldark character, but since s2 my sympathy for her rapidly declined. There are just so many examples of her being unnecessarily rude/passive aggressive for no reason, not only towards Elizabeth, but mostly her. Which is such a shame, because we have some lovely interactions between the two as well, and I’m pretty sure they could be friends if not Ross’ behaviour… I’m not saying that everything Elizabeth does/says is pure and great (her comment about cornflowers in 1x03 is definitely not her best moment), but in many scenes she’s being sincere or at least trying to be kind/polite, and yet somehow the majority of the fandom turns it into her apparently being manipulative, so Demelza is totally right about being mean in return and it’s “feminist”. And they always make such a big deal of the scene in 2x07 when Elizabeth comes to Nampara and asks about her letter to Ross whereas I’m like…she didn’t do anything wrong tbh?

Even after Francis died, I understand her frustration.

Me too, Ross really wasn’t making it easier for his wife. I can totally see why Demelza didn’t like all his visit to Trenwith, but at the same time… She could go with him, right? I’m pretty sure Elizabeth, Agatha and Geoffrey Charles would appreciate their visits, and Demelza would be a lot calmer if she knew what was going on in Trenwith, instead of diving into the world of fantasies. And also, what she said to Elizabeth 2x08 was a straight up insult in return for Elizabeth trying to be polite again, if you ask me.

But Elizabeth isn’t solely to blame.

Absolutely. She shouldn’t have said that whole “cannot two men love two women” mini speech in 2x05, but in my opinion, for most of the time her interactions with Ross in s2 were not inappropriate on her part. And Demelza really should’ve known better, especially since she is a good-hearted woman and has lots of empathy. Many things could’ve been different if her attitude was different, but let’s not forget that it’s Ross who’s caused the entire problem/conflict. Too bad Demelza and Elizabeth’s relationship was so badly affected by his recklessness.

#answered #anonymous #wera speaks #long post #i'm not putting this in the tag i'm not a masochist #i know that the fandom won't like what i said here but oh well...here we go

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keaalu · 7 years ago

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Remember Me, Chapter 6

Skywarp comes up with a plan to rescue the kids. It’s a terrible plan, but it’s better than no plan at all – right, Screamer?

He probably ought to have run it past his bros before swinging straight into carrying it out, though.

----------

Slipstream had already lost track of the number of times he’d been sent sprawling, when his captors finally hustled him into a cell and kicked his feet out from under him again. He wasn’t completely sure what they had planned for him, but was fairly confident it wasn’t going to be comfortable… and when Ramjet vanished with Skydash, he was certain it wasn’t going to be. He made a spirited effort to follow them, fear of what they might do to his cousin lending him a strength he didn’t normally have, but was ultimately no match for the two large, well-armed Decepticons.

Dirge backed him into a corner. The jet wore the kind of smile that anyone with a half-developed sense of self-preservation would have run away from – if they’d been able to. He’d still made no effort to clean Longbeam’s bright yellow finger-gouges off his cheek. “So, superstar. Look at you. All grown up,” he purred. “Almost a miracle. I wouldn’t have put money on it – not with parents like yours. I guess there’s just something in the family code that makes you slaggers hard to convince to die, huh?”

Slipstream somehow managed to keep the static out of his voice. “What do you want.”

Dirge paced back and forth in the space between his prisoner and the door, casually. “Who said I should need a reason to come see my favourite person?” His smile broadened. “You’re in my territory now, Slippy. And I have a little old score to settle. Remember that time in the desert, where you helped sneak TC out from under my watch, and made me look like an incompetent idiot?”

Slipstream felt his pumps stutter, uncomfortably. He tried offlining them, but it didn’t feel like it helped much. “…yes.”

“Yeah! I sure remember it. That’s what makes it such a shame, you know? This whole thing.” The blue conehead examined his fingers, artfully, and shook his helm, casting a sly glance sidelong to check for Slipstream’s reaction. “I mean, price of scrap metal has really taken a nosedive lately. We coulda got a much better price off the squishies if we’d took the chance to smelt you down a vorn or two earlier.” Seeing the smaller mech visibly cringe, his lips spread wider in a smirk. “What, did you think I was gonna say it was a shame you didn’t join up when you had the chance? Like we’d need a depressive little nonentity like you in the ranks.”

Thrust snickered. “Yeah, Dirge here has that market cornered already. He doesn’t need the competition when it comes to depressive nonentities.”

Dirge glared and gave him a swift kick in the back of one thruster; the red jet gave a startled yelp of pain, and hastily shoved back, embarrassed by the over-reaction.

He was sure he probably wasn’t supposed to have heard, but Slipstream picked up Dirge’s frustrated growl of stick to the plan, will you? And Thrust’s immediate return hiss of WHAT plan, you always friggin’ wing it and blame me when you screw up. For an instant, it looked like they were more interested in coming to blows with each other, right up in each other’s faces.

Slipstream almost dared to hope that they’d get too invested in their own quarrel, and forget about him… but hadn’t counted on the strength of feeling that would have brewed behind forty vorns of simmering resentment.

After a brief session of shoving and posturing, the two coneheads managed to get back on track.

“So, where were we, Slips?” Dirge moved to close the gap between himself and his prisoner. “Reminiscing about the good old days, right? Can’t deny that I’ve been looking forwards to the time we got to meet again. Especially after that big white blob kept me from shooting the two of you after you snuck out.” He pressed his fist into his palm. “That woulda spoiled the party today though, right? Now come on. Get up. On your feet.”

“I’d rather stay down here, thanks.”

“I’m sorry, did I sound like I was giving you a choice? Get up. Or do I have to get Thrust to help you?” Dirge flicked a hand at Thrust, who rolled his optics a little but obediently moved in closer.

Slipstream hastily scrambled to his feet. Often, having a wall at his back reassured him, but now it just emphasised the fact there was nowhere to go. He tugged uselessly at his wrists, wishing he could get the cuffs off – not that having his hands free would actually help that much against two fully-armed warmechs, but it might have made him feel a little better. Like he at least had the option of trying to defend himself.

Even if that might have only involved covering his face.

“So.” Dirge leaned down very close to their prisoner, and was gratified to see the younger mech flinch and turn his face away. “I guess now is a good time to educate you on a few things, yeah? Like how when you were tiny and stupid, we had this unwritten rule that we weren’t to hurt you. That you were too young to understand what we were fighting for, and maybe, if we treated you nicely, let you figure out for yourself that we were legitimate, maybe you’d grow up as one of us.” His voice lowered to a murmur. “Well, guess what? You’re all grown up, now.” He smirked. “And you invited us into your life by choosing to become our enemy.” He tapped a finger against the little Autobot insignia etched into Slipstream’s chassis.

Slipstream hunched his shoulders and leaned back, just a little, just out of immediate reach. “You can blame the Triplechangers for that.”

“Yeah – blame, or thank, one of the two. I mean, it’s a lot less politically-incorrect to beat your enemy to a pulp than it is to squish some dithery little neutral, right?” Dirge’s lips pulled thin, showing his denta. “Who am I kidding. Like I’d not take the chance to bludgeon you over the head just because you weren’t an Autobot. This just makes it easier to justify…”

The first blow wasn’t exactly a surprise, but it still caught Slipstream off-guard – a solid punch in the side of his helm, crashing him backwards into the wall. Pain rang like a thunderclap through him; he couldn’t be completely sure, not with all his senses destabilised, but it felt like the crystal of his sidelight had shattered. There was certainly something leaking – stinking sharp and volatile where it ran down into his collar armour.

He tried to be brave – to do his family proud, to hold up his strong Autobot heritage, and not be defeated by a bunch of Decepticon thugs… but it hurt too much to do anything except curl as best he could into a self-protective bundle, trying to shield sensitive components from the beating.

Ultimately, even Dirge finally got bored. After activating the forcefield that closed the cell, he headed off in a very jovial mood with Thrust, apparently going to find some high-grade to celebrate their successful mission.

Slipstream wallowed in self-pity for a little while, curled up in his corner, trying to ignore the bright pink smears on the walls, the floor, his own armour… trying to concentrate on slowly disconnecting or rerouting systems away from all the spots that hurt.

Hard to think what they might be doing to Skydash, while he wasn’t there and couldn’t protect her. Although ‘protect’ was a bit of a stretch. More like, keep their attention away from her by offering himself as a better target.

Concentrating on fixing up what he could helped keep him at least slightly grounded. Energon crystallised off, obediently, plugging up the damaged, leaky vessels. Coolant vapours made the air stink; he deactivated a handful of pumps and let the broken pipes run dry. He’d have to rely on his fans until he could get repairs, but that would probably be all right. He’d maybe be a bit sluggish but at least he’d be functioning. Right?

Because he was going to get out of here, somehow.

Repairs weren’t just a daydream.

Primus. What were they doing to Dash?

When you were tiny and stupid, we had this unwritten rule that we weren’t to hurt you, Dirge reminded him, out of the recent past. Slipstream latched onto the memory, hoping that perhaps Skydash would likewise be “too small and stupid” for them to want to harm. The idea they’d want to turn her against her parents for no reason other than to punish her family seemed altogether too plausible. Maybe they’d never bring her back-

The clump of heavy footsteps drew his attention; Motormaster appeared in the doorway, and deactivated the forcefield. Slipstream automatically cringed away.

The big mech wasn’t interested in doling out violence, however. “Here. Catch.”

Before Slipstream could gather his wits, Motormaster flicked his wrist and sent a small bundle flying through the air.

A small Skydash-coloured bundle.

Alarm shot through him. Slipstream hurled himself forwards, and just managed to get underneath her, rolling with her to the ground to try and absorb a little of the impact. She still tumbled off him and hit the deck, but it was with only a little clunk, not a horrible wet broken crash. He curled over her, automatically, as if he could somehow protect her.

The stunticon outside the cell gave a dismissive snort, and – miraculously – turned away.

Slipstream waited until he could no longer hear footsteps before finally straightening up and checking Skydash over. He almost cried to see she was completely totally uninjured and perfect. She was scared, and crackling with static, and wanted her mama, but that was all. And Primus did he ever sympathise. He’d not wanted his parents like this quite so badly for a long time. All he wanted was to curl up next to his dam’s spark and let the rest of the world go dim around him.

“Hey, Dash. Come on, bit. Talk to me?” He leaned down and bumped her with his cheek. “It’s just me here now. You’re here with me and it’s all right.”

It took a good portion of a breem for Skydash to respond, during which time he gently shuffled her into his corner, where he could con himself into thinking he could perhaps protect her. She finally uncurled from her ball, looking fearfully around the small cell, still vibrating softly in distress but growing braver now she was satisfied they were genuinely the only two present. She climbed into her cousin’s lap, then wriggled her way up his chest, thrusting her small head up under his chin.

“Hey Dashie.” Slipstream tucked up his knees and rested his cheek against the top of her head, gently. “Are you all right? Did they hurt you at all?”

“Not hurt,” she confirmed, quietly. “Want Ama.” Most of the static had faded from her voice, but she still crackled every now and then.

“Yeah. I know. Me too.” He sighed, softly. “Just… have to be patient, all right? Do you think you can do that? They won’t hurt us while they still need us.”

Skydash stared up into his face. “Unnol hurt,” she challenged, reaching out a small hand to touch the glitter of crystallised energon on his cheek, and watched him flinch – only a tiny bit, but enough to make her snatch her hand back. “Make lies.”

He found a smile, and bumped cheeks with her. “Aw, I’m all right. I can get bashed around without hurting too badly. I had good teachers; you remember the Twins, right?”

She gave his features a brief but intense scrutiny – the dim, broken optic, the dried energon still crusting the damaged aerials, the new little dents and paint transfers – apparently trying to decide if she believed him. Even Sunny and Sides hadn’t put him through the mill quite this badly, even when he was at his most argumentative and asking-for-it. He kept up his smile for a little longer, and eventually she decided she didn’t want to challenge the lie, jamming herself back into the top curve of his chassis, the top of her head coming up under his chin. “…see Ama soon?”

“Yeah. I hope so. Soon.”

~~~~~~

For as long as he could remember, Thundercracker had been prone to headaches – although they were usually caused by his beloved wingmates. And never this bad.

It was only after the Triplechangers caught them so catastrophically off-guard, many vorns ago, that the headaches turned into incapacitating migraines. Stress usually set them off, spiking the pressure in coolant lines around his helm and destabilising his optics badly enough that they’d cut out altogether.

When his vision started to bleed into false-colours and static, he knew he was in for a bad one. He wasn’t quite sure how he’d got home, when even barely moving still managed to upset the precarious stability of his cortical pressure.

Right now, he cut a spectacularly unwarriorlike figure, sitting in the atrium with a foil around his shoulders and a coolant pack weighing his helm down, wishing he’d gone and done something about it last time. It wasn’t even as if this was the first time he’d regretted not going to a doctor and getting it fixed! But every time he considered it, there seemed to be something more immediate and important that needed his attention. (Usually, that thing was what triggered the migraine in the first place.) He’d put it off, and put it off, and eventually it’d fade off his radar… until the next one rolled around.

Knowing he was a walking liability was making his migraine worse. It kinda hurt to know you actually were the burden you thought everyone was talking about behind your wings.

Starscream had fussed noisily until a long-suffering Forceps had found a patch to force a temporary pressure bleed, but Thundercracker knew it’d take a while to kick in, and that didn’t guarantee he’d get his vision back any time soon.

As a much younger mech, new to the Decepticon cause and unsure how much of his weight he wanted to throw behind it, he’d been accused of being a ditherer – irresolute, couldn’t make a decision, always left everything too late.

Now, when he absolutely knew with a hundred percent conviction what he wanted – needed – to do? To go straight out to the spacebridge, fly direct to Earth, storm Nemesis, scoop his family to safety?

Didn’t matter what he wanted, any more, did it? Might as well put a little gift ribbon around his neck and go hand himself over.

At least he wasn’t the only one stuck for a response. Celerity still sat on the floor next to his feet, one arm stretched lightly round behind his thrusters, her head resting against his knees, purring quietly for him. She’d pitched it so that the subtle near-infrasound harmonised with his electric field, supportive and soothing – something she usually did for their sparkling when Skydash was having a tantrum. Figured.

Her field felt a fraction less strangled than it previously had, but now worry and exhaustion bled across their bond, in spite of her best efforts not to let it.

=you don’t have to be strong for everyone all the time= he reminded her.

She… acknowledged it, sort of, but not with anything verbal.

He shuffled awkwardly off the seat and down to the floor, to sit beside her. =Be all right. Just have to wait for Star to come up with a masterplan= he consoled, although it felt a little flat to him, too.

If only Starscream would make an effort to at least try and find his volume control…!

Wanting more information, the red jet had contacted Vantage, their reluctant silver spacebridge monitor. Finding out the mech had actually gone and let the Coneheads through with no questions and no notification? Had triggered another outburst of bad temper. He wasn’t quite as glass-etchingly strident as he had the capacity to be, but he was being unnecessarily loud, and to Thundercracker it felt like the words were echoing inside his head.

On the Earth end of the connection, Vantage looked like he'd have appreciated it if the ground would open and swallow him. “I-I thought they were coming for the whole New Vos thing.”

Starscream threw both arms up. “You didn't think to challenge it?!”

“No? They’re Seekers. I thought it was a Seeker thing? Why would I have challenged it?”

“Well I don’t know, perhaps the fact that they’re still fully-paid-up members of the Decepticon regime?! How did they even know about it?”

Vantage visibly cringed. “…I mighta asked them if it was why they wanted to come through.”

“Well thank you very much for making my job infinitely harder. Did you remember to invite Megatron while you were at it?!”

In the corner of the room, Skywarp put up his hands, and disappeared silently upstairs. He was apparently as tired of the noise as everyone else.

Pulsar watched him go into their shared room. She knew he tended to overthink, particularly when he was anxious, coming up with outlandish ideas that often made any bad situation worse. Quietly she slipped away from the atrium, and followed him up to the top floor.

She found Skywarp standing at the big terminal built into the wall, fiddling with his shield emitters, running diagnostics. The faint purple nimbus of active riot screens glowed around him. He didn’t look particularly anxious; his lips were compressed into a determined line and a small, serious frown furrowed his brow.

He startled at hearing her footsteps, but quickly relaxed upon seeing who it was. “Oh, it’s only you.”

“Thanks. Nice to know you’re glad to see me.” Pulsar gestured at the atrium with a sweep of one arm. “What are you even doing? Don’t you want to be with the rest of us, helping out?”

“To do what, exactly? Aren’t there enough folk down there already, getting in the way?”

She folded her arms, unimpressed. “You’d rather be up here instead, faffing about with unimportant things?”

“If you’re gonna get on my case, at least keep your voice down about it.” He pursed his lips, and slotted his fingers into a dedicated grip in the terminal, turning it through ninety degrees; the light of a green scanning laser swept once up and down his armour, checking for weak spots. “Or are you trying to tell the whole world what I’m doing?”

Pulsar obediently lowered her voice. “What are you doing?”

At last, Skywarp looked satisfied, straightening up. The subtle glow of his shielding finally winked out. “I’m going to fetch the wee sparks back.”

Pulsar just stared at him for a full few seconds, mouth open. “What, on your own?”

“Of course on my own. Why do you think I’m trying to sneak out?”

“But you can’t just-… that’ll be suicide!”

He set his hands on his hips and cocked his head, expectantly. “So, you got a better plan, have you?”

“Yes, I have an amazing plan. It’s called ‘let’s actually wait for Starscream to think of something practical and not take on Megatron singlehandedly’?”

He gave her a weird sort of patient glare and flapped a hand. “I can’t be sitting around waiting for Screamer to scheme his way to something that might work if he manages not to get distracted by gloating about how much better he is as leader. Besides, all of us going together is exactly what old Buckethead wants. Why should I make it easy for him to kill the three of us?”

“Remind me how this makes your plan a good one.”

“Well, he’s not gonna kill me if I go on my own, right?” Skywarp grinned, although he couldn’t quite hide the tension that tightened around his optics. “He wants to force us to watch each other dying. It’ll ruin everything if I go and grey out before Screamer can see it.”

“Unless he decides to record it, and sends it to him as a gift.” Pulsar stepped closer and caught his hand, and folding it into both of hers. “Please. At least discuss it with everyone before you launch into the unknown.”

Skywarp could feel her trembling, slightly, genuinely alarmed by his impetuous plan. He almost felt guilty for suggesting it. “So Screamer can put a total nix on it? Great idea.”

She looked away. “That might have been why I suggested you do it.”

He squeezed her fingers. “Eh, it’ll be fine. I… kinda know what I’m doing?” He lowered his voice. “Megatron thinks he knows me, right? I was a ‘Con most of my life and there’s not much about me that’s ever been subtle. By which token,” his expression brightened, optimistically, “maybe he’ll underestimate me.”

“There’s way too many maybe-s in this plan. What if this is exactly what he knew you’d do?”

“If Megs just wanted us dead, he wouldn’t have given us any warning. He’d have come here and done it. Let’s face it, Ramjet’s trine proved we let our attention drift way too far away from where it shoulda been, it woulda been easy to knock at least one of us off if they’d tried hard enough and weren’t a bunch of idiots. But?” He shrugged, gesturing with his free hand, palm out. “Megatron’s… basically told us what he’s planning? I guess it’s because he knows all Screamer’s triggers, and he’s baiting him in? He knows our wingleader’s just as stupid as me, at times, and if he can get him worked up, he’s easier to deal with.”

Pulsar leaned back a little, as though somehow capable of anchoring him, keeping her grip on his hand. “That doesn’t mean you have to go now.”

“In an ideal world where he gives Screamer a chance to scheme up something decent? Sure, maybe. But this isn’t that world, and if we don’t do something soon, he’s gonna get bored and encourage us to fly blind by posting bits of them back to us.” Skywarp pursed his lips. “I played the ‘Pulsar scavenger hunt’ once before, and it sucked. I don’t wanna play it again.”

She winced and looked away.

He peered out into the street, and checked the weather conditions. “So you’re gonna cover for me, right?”

“Cov-… no. What? No!” She recoiled subtly in alarm, letting go of his hand and putting both of hers up in a stop gesture. “I can’t cover for you, what are you even talking about. I’m not getting involved in this stupid plan of yours-!”

He gave her a vaguely smug look, brows arched. “I hate to break it to you, but you already are. Ever since you snuck after me to make sure I wasn’t getting up to no good.”

“I was worried about you-! Not that you’d understand the concept.” She covered her face with both hands, briefly. “I could yell for help. Stop you going.”

“But you won’t, because you know I’m right. And you want our family back together just as much as I do.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m happy to let you sacrifice yourself in the process-!”

“Well, you can’t stop me, so you might as well help out. I just need you to run interference until I can get through the bridge, all right?”

“Warp-… how?” She spread her hands. “My inability to lie convincingly is a running joke. Starscream will see through me the instant I engage my vocaliser.”

“I didn’t say you had to make up an excuse.” He gave her a sneaky smile and strummed a finger across her antennae. “I know one thing you could do that would be guaranteed to keep them from coming up to investigate.”

She just… stared at him, for several seconds, before finally locating her voice. “Did you miss the gravity of the situation, or was it just too entertaining for you to suggest I try and fake an overload to distract the guys downstairs?”

His expression broadened into a pleased grin.

She folded her arms across her chassis, stubbornly. “They’d never believe it anyway. Even you’re not that insensitive.”

“Look, even if you just buy me a breem or two, that’ll give me a head start. They’re gonna notice I’m gone the second my signal falls off the registry so it’s not like you have to do it for long.”

“Ugh. All right.” She covered her antennae with both hands. “I’ll think of something.”

“Thanks, Squeaks. I owe you one.” He plopped a kiss onto the top of her smooth helm, and disappeared in a flutter of collapsing air.

#skywarp #slipstream #blue au #pulsar #remember me #transformers #skydash #dirge #thundercracker

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