#she liked one of the dudes in that group(still likes that asshole idk what but she deadass can't move on) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haptureratch · 2 years ago

Text

Bitch, You Need Therapy

Pairing: Johnny Knoxville x Reader (afab)

Others: Chris Pontius, Steve-O

Word count: approx. 4.5k

Synopsis: You’re part of the crew, temporarily filling in and enjoying it immensely. You are filming something overseas. Knoxville finds out you have a crush on him and decides to fuck with your stressed little self until he gets carried away in the moment.

WARNINGS/tags: NC-17, minors DNI, adult language, alcohol (technical lack of consent), soft allusions to hard drugs, oral sex, genital penetration, THE DOUBLE MEANING OF LIPS, kinks galore (praise, rough, petnames, things I don’t have a word for)

Notes from the author: Yeah idk he just seems like a playful bastard that might be hiding a kinky streak. Not tied to any specific period of Jackass filming so reader can take some creative liberties (the least I can do when I am dictating reader’s entire personality lmao). Knoxville is single in this world; it’s all fun & fantasy. This work has not been officially reviewed apart from one of my best friends giving enthusiastic approval early on. But I’ve read over it a hundred times while writing it SO DAMN SLOWLY, so hopefully it is okay. There are purposeful tense changes and I hope they hit the way I'm intending. Is the whole thing cringe? Maybe; maybe not. Pls let loose & enjoy! I am a long time reader and I’ve had ideas here and there; finally decided it was time to fuck around and find out myself. It’s been way harder than I thought and I have even more respect for my fave fic authors out there. If you know me irl, no you don’t. WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU~~

Night has been falling earlier and earlier as weeks peel away from Autumn toward the year’s end. It is 7 o’clock in the evening but feels more like 11. Outside the darkness is interrupted by numerous streetlamps along the sidewalk. The lights glow a golden orange, reminding you of the crackling fire in the pub, and you dig your hands into your coat pockets seeking warmth.

“HEY ASSHOLE, why did we leave that cozy fucking place?!” you shout over the wind at one of your walking companions with some frustration. Only some. You’ve had a couple drinks and your speech seems to come out in demanding exclamations regardless of any real anger at that point. And you’re fairly certain any frustration stems from unmet desires directed toward this man and his stupid glinty purple-tinted sunglasses. Sunglasses, which he wore inside the intimately lit pub and which he is still wearing outside at night. What a jackass.

A different, unsunglasses’d man answered. “Because adventure calls! Sure, it’s cold out. But not cold enough to get frostbite. The call to adventure must be heeded even in the face of Ice Queen Mother Nature. Like the Russian Police, she’s stern. Stern…but fair,” he announced with omnipotence. Everyone in the group seemed dead set on committing crimes this evening. This one was guilty of venturing out in 20-some degree weather without a coat or sweater or torso cover of any kind. Just a fluffy scarf and a Santa hat. Another jackass, you thought. But that’s why you jumped at the chance to work with these people. It was an invigorating break from the mundane. And the group oozed fun; to be in the same room as any of them was to know friendship and laughter.

You smiled genuinely at him. Despite the cold and questionable decisions, he still inspired affection. “Thanks, as always, Pontius, for the exceptional pep talk but I think I was asking—”

“DUDE WHERE IS MY SKATEBOARD?!?!!” screeched a third man’s voice. He’d definitely had the most to drink out of the group so far this evening and crime was written all over him. Good ol’ Steve-O. Nothing more to be said about him.

Sunglasses finally spoke up. “I decided against anything with wheels for this and threw it in the back of the van, Steve-O. We can come back in the daytime tomorrow for skate shots. There are a lot less lights the farther in the park we go.”

“Knox, you IDIOT, I’m planning on being so fucking hungover tomorrow! I’m on my GAME now, man, you shoulda brought it!” He bent down to gather up two fists of snow, mash them together, and hurl the mass toward Johnny.

“If you want it so bad, go back an’ get it!” He grinned while dodging the poorly aimed snowball and jumped over to rap Steve-O on the ass with the back of his hand. This garnered a slow, deep, huffy giggling from Pontius. It was less of a giggle, more of a devious huh-huh-huh. It sounded like something you’d hear in the boys’ locker room but if it came from the throat of a grown man.

The little spanking sparked a quick scuffle between Steve-O and Johnny. After nearly slipping and falling, he gave up on trying to fuck with the taller man and hardened his resolve to skate in the snow. “UGH! I’ll be back…” After a beat of wily consideration he added, “Or not!” Steve-O then darted off in the direction of the pub, almost slipped again, and slowed his stumbling gait. If he was headed toward booze he was probably going to get another round. A round of…something.

Chris and Johnny shared a look and the Santa-hatted one asked, “Who’s going with him? It’s law that we use the buddy system in all foreign lands, especially when we don’t want to get arrested. More arrested than we get when the cameras are rolling. Those times are okay.”

Johnny spoke first. “I’ll stay to map out where Jeff thinks we can get the money shots. Y/N probably needs to mess with the camera settings.”

“Actually, yeah,” you uttered, reviving from a slight stupor of quiet observation and remembering your role in all of this. “This would be our first night footage of the trip and I haven’t experimented with the exposure or what type of flash I can—”

“Okay nerd on, genius, I’ll go,” Chris interrupted. He smiled and bowed himself out in the direction of Steve-O and the pub.

“Better hurry, Pontius! Something tells me the board ain’t the priority now,” Johnny called out. You watched as the smoke from his breath dissipated into the cold and the two of you continued away from what seemed like the rest of civilization.

********

The other men gone from sight, your physical awareness of Johnny dialed up. Though he was lean, he seemed to exude heat through his black peacoat. Maybe you were imagining things. But you dared to draw a couple inches closer to assess. He slowed his gait and you veered right back over and even sped up a little. You thought you heard a quiet laugh come from his side of the path.

‘Dammit, Y/N, fucking stay focused,’ you thought to yourself. You can’t give them anything to get you on; it was more important to you than any legal trouble. You were here to relieve Lance after one too many trips involving vomit-on-the-camera incidents. You had a job to do, you had creative input to offer, and you didn’t have to let on that you found one of the guys so hot you couldn’t stand it. That fact could be kept firmly TO YOURSELF. The need to keep it a secret almost hyped it up to an obsession. You found yourself stealing photos during planning sessions, when you were 95% certain that no one would notice. Since you were such a dedicated crew member, the team assumed you were experimenting with angles or compiling a look-book or something.

Sure, you took candids of everyone. But the most recurring subject by far was Johnny Knoxville. There were the obvious features that caught your eye, mostly when he laughed, all white teeth and crow’s feet. After a while you noticed how he stood kind of funny, whether that was from past back injuries, weak glutes, or a touch of valgus knee deformity you weren’t sure. It didn’t at all detract from the beauty of those long legs or the defined torso they led up to. Certainly didn’t ruin his painfully (for you) deep iliac furrows smack dab in the middle of it all. And you weren’t going to get started on his arms or shoulders or jawline. He really took your love for anatomy and smacked you upside the head with it. He was art and you were insane.

Your stupid little fangirl crush even had you calling him ‘Johnny Knoxville’ in your head instead of PJ. It was like how you still called your teachers ‘Mr/Ms/Mx’ after graduating from school, even though they gave you permission to be on a first-name basis. It was hard to get comfortable with others like that. Another reason why you wanted this chance at a different work environment even if it was just temporary. You sorely needed to relax, Y/N. Unclench your jaw, take a breath, stop the shoulders from migrating upwards, and just keep walking. Sometimes the set of Jackass was not the ideal setting to work on those goals—all of those damn pranks—but…

“Lost in thought, puddin’?” you heard in your ear. You didn’t so much hear them as felt the words slap your skin from behind, the shock of wet heat in the cold air startling you. The streetlamps brightened in your peripheral vision.

You spun around and couldn’t help the nervous fake-laugh that escaped. “Oh, uh, yeah, you could say that. Just handling a lot of little things right now. Like the jet-lag, that European alcohol hitting a little stronger, the cold being colder here somehow, filming schedule, the list goes on, man." You hoped adding 'man’ would lend the illusion of you being chill, cool, totally not in fight-or-flight mode a moment ago.

It didn’t. There was an awkward silence as he stood facing you. Behind the shades you couldn’t see the mischief in his eyes as he planned out where he was going to take this. To you it just looked like staring. ‘Fucking dammit,’ you swore at yourself, ‘I don’t know if he KNOWS knows but he knows something is up. Agh, focus on work, FOCUS ON WORK.’

You cleared your throat, pulled namaste out of your ass, and shifted the power of the interaction back on your side with, “Hey, why don’t you stand over by that statue and help me with shot composition.”

“Yes, boss, on the double!” His tone was playfully condescending as he headed over to the metal figure, an unknown man outlined in snow. “Anything for you, sweetheart.” He let the last word drag out lower and slower than the rest. You had to fight your dead brain to let you breathe again. He was going to fuck with you, alright, and it was going to happen tonight. But for his own fun, no cameras in sight other than yours. There was always a chance of one of those goofy assholes hiding in a bush, but your gut told you there were none. No one else was going to be around for this, but you weren’t sure how thankful you were. You were flooded with several thoughts at once. How far would he go? How far did you want him to go? Did Jackass have HR? What was their policy on a creator/actor doing unspeakable things to a camera person with his mouth? Could the van be moved for about 90 minutes tonight without anyone knowing? Was he all dom or a switch? How easy would it be to get him to giggle during a blowjob?

Fuck. Focus.

‘FUCK,’ you thought as, for some ungodly reason, Knox put his tongue to the statue’s ear. The side of your neck began to tingle where his breath had been several minutes ago; memory is a powerful thing. You shook your head to regroup.

“Better pray you don’t end up like that kid in A Christmas Story,” you deadpanned.

He looked away and called out toward the woods at the edge of the park, “Nah, I’m too wet for that. That…that’s the secret.” You saw his back shuddering slightly, probably with laughter, and tried to see deeper into the trees. Not a soul was detected.

“You’ll be wetter when that statue comes to life and throws you in the river.”

He turned back toward you. “Naw, I think he likes it,” he grinned as wedged his body even closer to the metal and began to run a hand slowly down its torso. For the first time he made eye contact with you over his glasses and you dared not break it while his hand migrated further and further south. “And I think he’s not the only one, darlin’,” he drawled, his tone growing deeper and darker by the second. Two fingers began to lazily graze between the statue’s legs. And, as if that wasn’t enough, his hips ground into what had to be extremely cold and extremely hard metal. He let out a low sigh into the winter air.

This probably lasted just a moment but it felt like an eternity as you stood watching him, unable to do anything else, not quite believing what you were seeing. Your eyes were glued to where you thought his dick was, where you thought you saw an outline begin to show. He kept at it, grinding and sighing and caressing against that fucking statue, only averting his gaze to let his eyes roll back into his head and flutter shut. Which he made sure you could see with the shades slid all the way down the bridge of his nose. The whole thing was insane but you could not stop the cascade of heat and desire from building inside you. It’s like the more it shouldn’t be happening, the more you were into it. You wanted to look around and check for the crew for the umpteenth time but couldn’t tear your eyes from him. Johnny Knoxville was getting freaky on a statue to tease you and you were simmering in your own juices.

Like.

What the actual fuck?

Okay, case closed, he definitely knew.

Uhh… Just try to own it now?

“You know what, you whore?! It’s gonna be really fucking awkward when my underwear freezes out here!”

He finally broke, fell away from the statue, and dissolved into laughter on the ground. You hoped your boldness would recuperate a bit of your cred and he’d back off. (You hoped he wouldn’t back off.)

“The working conditions, here, honestly…” you said as your hands came to your hips.

His maniacal glee, normally adorable when it wasn’t tied up in such a stressful and sexy situation, died out and he regained upright footing. He didn’t bother to brush the snow off his coat or shake out what had peppered his hair. He took off his sunglasses and folded them into the inner pocket of his coat. He smiled down at you and you felt him gently grab your shoulders. “You’re so wound up, Y/N,” he remarked with genuine care in his voice.

The touch and proximity made you stiffen; your arms dropped to your sides. His breath smelled like booze and you wanted to drown in it.

His fingers laced together behind your shoulders and slid down to rest at the small of your back; you instinctively grabbed at his forearms. “Gotta learn how to relax, baby.” He jerked your lower half into him and you could feel that you had not, in fact, been imagining that dick. With that, you felt the last of your good sense rocket away, leaving a long-imprisoned whine in its wake.

He dipped his head down to your ear and growled, “How loud does that kitty purr?”

No words.

No thoughts.

Your head threatened to crack off of your spine but he caught the back of it with one hand, the other snaked firmly around the rest of you, as his lips made contact with your neck. Soft kisses were syncopated with nibbles, the heat of his mouth searing your skin in contrast to the chilly air. His tongue was so wet and so warm against your flesh. You all but dripped for him.

“Van,” you demand.

He takes your hand, grins, and leads you out of the park toward the town.

The two of you make it to the van and he takes space in the driver’s seat. The engine comes to life relatively quietly—thank god for hybrids—and he maneuvers it onto a darkened side street several blocks down. You seem to be surrounded by a bunch of businesses closed down for the night but you also don’t have a single fuck to give now. You slide a hand over the rod in his pants and his lips part with a groan.

Hunger takes hold and you lunge over the console to catch his mouth in a voracious kiss. Tongue and teeth everywhere. Even the smallest hints of pleasure out of this man are going to drive you wild tonight. But you want—you NEED—to savor the experience. The movements of your jaw slow and the space between your lips closes as you center yourself. His lips come together but his breath continues hard and deep through his nose. His eyes are shut tight as if he's exercising control as well. You pepper kisses across his cheek, down his neck, and back up to his ear where you sigh your contentment.

“Mmm, sweetheart, I’m gonna need to hear more of that,” he says low in your ear. Your belly flutters up into your chest and you think you might fall in love, like an idiot.

He kisses you deeply and pulls you with him into the back of the van. The heat of the exchange melts off both your coats. A sleeping bag is found, unzipped, and laid down. Not that the two of you notice the cold all that much, it just seems like the right thing to do in a van that carts around the Jackass crew. He is a bit more discerning than some of his co-stars.

He unzips your pants and slides them down your legs. You sit up to help kick them off along with your shoes. He takes off your shirt, leaving you just in your bra, socks, and panties. You love how exposed you must look and how vulnerable you feel. He looks you in the eye, smirks, looks down at your hips, licks his lips. Your thighs squeeze together with anticipation and your moan spells out your need.

He lowers himself down, still clothed, onto your nearly naked body and lays his lips all over your skin. He slides across you lazily and you can’t stand how good his clothes feel against you. You can’t wait for that dick to be out and in your mouth. It’s how you want to show him how good he’s making you feel. The way he takes the fabric of your panties in his fingertips tells you he has his own priorities.

“May I?”

“May you what?”

He smiles and toys with the bows stitched to the elastic around your hips. He takes the band in his teeth and looks you in the eye as he lets it snap against you.

“Eat out that pretty pussy of yours, doll. It’s all wrapped up for me like a present under the tree.”

You’re not able to make a joke about stealing Chris’s Santa hat. You can only reach down and start to wiggle the remaining cotton off, with which Knox happily helps. The bra and socks follow suit and a cheeky kiss to your foot garners a giggle.

Things get very serious again when he positions his face in front of your heat. He hugs your hips to him and rests his large hands down on you. You can’t help but buck up into the contact when his lips meet yours. His soft, wet tongue feels so fucking good. Your hands find his hair and you rake your nails through it. Every time you look down he’s either got his eyes closed, lids fluttering in the prettiest way, or he’s looking right back at you. Each moan from your mouth elicits self-assured hums from his and it drives you to desperately need more.

“Need you in me, Knox,” you demand.

He looks up at you again with those deep brown eyes and doesn’t say a word.

“Want you in my mouth first. I want to taste that dick.”

He pulls himself up and you all but tear the black and white KNOXVILLE belt through the loops of his Dickies. He frees his hard cock and you pause to take it in with your eyes first.

“It may not be the biggest but right now you got me harder than—aaughh..” The whole rest of him stiffens up and he bites into his knuckles as you take in the tip. He relaxes with a deep sigh as you try to swallow the shaft down and gag when your lips meet his hilt.

‘That’ll do just fine,’ you think to yourself.

You keep it slow to draw it out, slow but deliberate with licking and sucking. You work his cock with your mouth until you lose yourself in the act. You love every single sound this man is making and commit them to memory. And his taste, how the pre-cum doesn’t stop oozing. The way his head is thrown back with his mouth wide open, gasping. How he can’t touch you enough right now. Every few moments you turn your attention to his balls and thighs and that delicious V leading down to it all. The feel and scent of his skin is intoxicating and you’re biting light marks into his flesh. You get so far gone you stop murmuring his name and start to call him Daddy. His cock twitches every time.

He takes a deep, clarifying breath before taking your chin in his hand and speaking, “I’m so ready to slide right in, baby. Will you let Daddy fill you up?”

“Fuck me.”

The van space is tight but you lie down and he holds himself over you, cock at your entrance. You’re practically vibrating with anticipation.

Finally.

He drives the head of his cock slowly into your pussy and the feeling is so warm and sweet and intimate. Birth control be damned; you’ll get emergency contraception in the morning. Your arms and legs wrap around him possessively as he works into a rhythm. You rock your hips with his to catch his cock at the right angle. He finds your mouth in the dark and moans into you as he thrusts. He’s downright fucking you into the floor of the van and strangely you haven’t felt this whole and alive in a long time. Your orgasm is building and building but you want even more of him before you come.

“I wanna ride you, Johnny,” you gasp.

“Thought you’d never ask. Be my guest, doll,” he answers as he pulls out of you and arranges the sleeping bag across the van’s bench. He takes a seat and slaps his thighs with a grin, erection bobbing around invitingly.

You climb on top of him, legs quivering with eagerness, and take just a moment to pause before sinking slowly down onto his cock.

His answering groan draws you against his chest, sighing into him, as you get to work riding. It’s your turn to fuck him into the van.

You both wrap your arms around each other, but no one can get close enough. Thrusting, humping, clawing, kissing, biting, sucking, moaning—the two of you going at each other like animals. (His glutes are NOT, in fact, weak.) Your legs are tiring but you push yourself to keep going. Closer and closer your end nears. He knows it because his teeth are clenching as your pussy is tightening around him. He’s fighting to not cum before you.

“Don’t stop, baby, don’t stop. Keep on riding me. Keep grinding that sweet little thing on my cock.”

You pick up speed.

“Come for me, sweetheart.”

He squeezes your ass tighter.

“Good girl, I can feel it. Come for Daddy…”

That’s it. Your cunt squeezes up inside of you and smashes down around his dick in a primal, undulating frenzy. There’s an explosion of stars behind your eyelids. He’s yelling out your name and digging his fingers deeper into your hips as his orgasm spills hot inside you.

********

After unmeasured moments, breaths began to slow and a contented stillness fell over the van like snow upon the ground. The two of you wrapped each other up in an embrace and held on tight without a word. It wasn’t much longer until your brain woke back up and began to wander. You knew you were going to think back on this night many, many times when you were back home alone. You’d feel the ghost of his breath and his lips on your skin. You’d ache to hear him moan your name again. AND, FUCK, THE PLAN B--

Gentle laughter broke out, as if he could read your mind. He couldn’t, of course. But it was so very easy to tell when you were uneasy. And Knox was an excellent people reader.

“Just don’t think about anything right now, sweetheart,” he assured you.

“Johnny, I…” You began and trailed off, unsure of what to voice first.

“Call me PJ,” he smiled and placed a kiss on your head. “And don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll stop by a pharmacy soon as they open. The guys are gonna need some Tylenol, too, I bet. I’ll get us all sorted.” And he sealed his promise shut with a squeeze of your shoulders. Not a mind reader, but definitely thoughtful and at times very practical. Always aware of what’s going on around him.

You trusted him. Probably more than you should, but you did. And you gave whatever energy you had left over to the effort of not thinking. You had no idea how long it had been since you checked the time, when the sun was coming up, or what the two of you would do next. What this would mean for the rest of the shoot. But, if you’re gonna be dumb….

----------------------------------------------------------------

Several hours post-coupling in the van, after the sun came out for vengeance, you found yourself hanging with Pontius at a near-by café. You felt calmest around him out of all the crew and were happy to listen to his stories for distraction. Distraction from your anxiety and the various aches in your body. What you had really wanted was a diner that served greasy food and heinously strong coffee, but they didn’t have those here. Chris must share the need. He was still sporting the Santa hat and some serious bags under his eyes. There was what appeared to be lipstick smeared down his neck, but it was…stippled? From…the only idea that came to mind was another man’s stubble. But he never asked about the way you weren’t walking right, so you paid the favor forward.

His words drifted away from big cats and other wildlife, and he shifted conversation topics. “Crazy night last night, huh,” he said.

“Lord. You bet,” you answered. Oh, here we go.

“What time did you turn in last night? Or this morning?” He batted his lashes and played with the cotton puff at the end of his hat before flipping it to the other side. It invoked the atmosphere of girlies at a sleepover sharing the latest gossip.

“Oh, you know…” Your face reddened a little and you looked down into your steaming coffee mug.

He brought his up to his mouth for a sip and stared you down over it. “Do you happen to know where—"

Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you pulled it out automatically.

“Hey, doll, where did you run off to?” Your heartbeat quickened and you smirked despite yourself. You didn’t need to look up at the sender to know who it was from.

“Know where what,” you offered with no doubt a dazed look in your eyes.

You were definitely going to need a therapist after this job was through.

#johnny knoxville x reader #afab reader #jackass fanfic #jackass smut #johnny knoxville fanfic #dude tumblr WILL NOT let me use the formatting that i want wtf

300 notes · View notes

fanvoidkeith · 10 months ago

Text

holy shit the hazbin hotel show. wow. incredible. very neat that they went for an almost-musical style because they had so much lore

BY THE WAY! this is a going to be a LONG, ramble-y, spoiler-filled post, so i'm going to put a readmore here and my thoughts on the show will be under the cut. if you don't want to be spoiled for the Hazbin Hotel Official Show TM or don't like hazbin hotel... probably don't read the rest of this post lmao

anyways. here's all my thoughts on it, pretty much. enjoy! :]

i need one of those cat creatures immediately KEESHEE IS SO CUUUTE AWWWW. oh they're called keeshee because that's the. the key. to the hazbin hotel HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT UNTIL I FINISHED WATCHING THE SHOW

oh fuck there's just been a huge massacre. rip. this happens every year. i guess charlie isn't really allowed to mourn or grieve for long though? which is weird because it seems like she cares the MOST about her people (demons), so she should at least be allowed to cry about it. maybe sob and wail a little bit, y'know? also be ANGRY ABOUT IT. it'll give her more oomf if she gets to be angry on screen, y'know?

there's kind of a lot of songs but besides the very first one- "a happy day in hell", i think- i like them. the first one kept moving the "camera" around too much, so it was hard to focus

i think something is deeply wrong with niffty, but assuming her connection to alastor is voluntary... yeah i can see it. they're allies (maybe friends?) for a reason

angel dust my boy

SIR PENTIOUS MY BOY!!!!!!!!

sir pentious taking a small chunk out of alastor's coat and alastor getting PISSED was cool. especially because apparently "no one's gotten this much before". damn, dude

poor charlie trying to help these people who have no idea how to accept help because she's demon-born, one of the highest-ranking people in hell, and the rarest sort of person in hell- kind

"let's do trust falls!" charlie says, as most of her little group doesn't do the exercise and niffty uses it as an excuse for her masochist tendencies

angel dust taking them to a night club is kinda funny. sir pentious probably hasn't seen ANY of this shit before. neither has charlie, probably. idk about vaggie, but she's obviously uncomfortable. and oh my god niffty WOULD love being a dom, but honestly probably not for the sex reasons. i don't see her as that kinda person lol, considering she spends most of the show talking about pain and killing bugs with a knife

charlie's mom has been missing for seven years

how is adam an angel if he's an asshole and he hates women? genuine question. of course heaven's judgemental and shit- helluva boss's angels proved that- but like, why is the guy who's basically in charge THAT much of a dipshit

wait alastor's been missing for seven years too??

COINCIDENCE: I THINK NOT. alastor and lilith connection???

valentino is a bitch, naturally. and so are his cronies. and that tv guy. "the vees" or whatever

oh is the tv dude hating alastor a reference to the song "video killed the radio star" because that'd be funny

"he tried to recruit me and now he's mad i said no :)" and y'know what, alastor? slay

"hey, how did you miss me guys?" "we didn't, but i guess you show up anyways" "..." great job alastor, disappearing for seven whole years didn't make you more famous/infamous lol

AN ANGEL EXTERMINATOR IS DEAD AND BEHEADED. WHAT. HOW

there are demons older than alastor??? i mean. damn. that's crazy bro. lol

nooo angel not everyone thinks you're a crackhead!! :(

oh gods, angel dust's trauma. oh god. oh no

ANGEL. ANTHONY. ANGEL DUST MY BOYYYYY 😭

sick ass song though, reminds me of addict (his previous song that's not in the hazbin pilot or hazbin show but is probably still canon anyways)

angel dust and husk's rivalry-turned-i-guess-you're-alright-now thing was neat AND THEY HAD A SONG TOGETHER YESSSSS THAT WAS AMAZINGGGG

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE HUSKER WAS ONE OF THE OVERLORD HIGH RANKING DEMONS AT ONE POINT WHAT THE FUCK????????

guess we know kinda why he owes alastor "a favor" now, because he was a chronic gambler

why did vaggie get a random duet with this random lady (carmilla arms dealer woman)

okay sir pentious (my boy, i love him, he's my son) calling vaggie "vagatha" was kinda funny

are we SURE that carmilla isn't a former angel? she probably isn't, but she sure is knowledgeable of them

charlie going to heaven to try and bargain with the angels and then using The Orb to cut to the B plot was pretty smart, actually. fucking LOVED that idea. heaven is literally watching, everyone :)

angel dust protecting his friendssss aughhhhh

FUCK valentino. FUCKKKK VALENTINO I HATE HIM. i hate that his moth demon design thing is cool because if it wasn't i could fully hate him

okayyyy SO vaggie's previous backstory as a pop star who committed suicide has been retconned. alright then. they said "what will give our beloved fans the MOST heartache? i know! let's make charlie's girlfriend with an underdeveloped sense of character in this show because the pacing kinda sucks a FORMER ANGEL. A KILLER ONE. THE MURDEROUS ONES THAT WE'RE TRYING TO STOP"

girl. vaggie. it's pretty obvious now that i'm looking back that everyone knows you're an angel. EXCEPT FOR ME, APPARENTLY. BECAUSE SHE HAD A DIFFERENT BACKSTORY PREVIOUSLY. WHAT

NO ONE KNOWS HOW ANYONE GETS INTO HEAVEN?????

andnfjfgjsjdn the pacing again- i was laughing at a joke they made in the show and suddenly they cut to charlie sobbing 💀 i had to rewind to be able to process that- augh

didn't love charlie getting stressed and sad- poor charlie- but LOVED charlie telling alastor FUCK YOU. that was awesome

"oh, alastor, i know you're an ace in the hole" "i'm a what now?" rosie's telling you you're asexual, alastor

vaggie telling the hotel residents that she'd understand if they left

nooo charlie and vaggie fighting actually means something now :(

OMG CARMILLA GOT HER OWN SONG YESSSS i love it

charlie yelling "FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH" at that lady in cannibal town was awesome

VAGGIE AND CHARLIE COME BACK TO THE HAZBIN RESIDENTS TRYING TO FORTIFY THE HOTEL AAAAAWWWW

charlie getting vaggie a souvenir from cannibal town and vaggie immediately tearing up because she knew charlie forgave her was cuuuute

FUCK YEAH GIRLFRIENDS KISSING!! WHOOOOOO LET'S GO GAY PEOPLE!!! I LOVE IT

*smash bros ultimate announcer voice* EVERYONE IS HERE!

except for like... most of hell lmao

at least the vee's are watching lol

THE FINAL FIGHT WAS SO COOL OH MY GODSSS

charlie's war gear being a dress that looked like an APPLE CORE LIKE HER DAD AAAAAAAAAAA

NOOOO ALASTOR!! oh he's fine actually. thanks vox for confirming that alastor's not dead lmao

aww sir pentious actually got to show his interest in cherri bomb without chickening outttt awwwww

NOOOO MY BOY SIR PENTIOUS NOOOOOOOOOO HE SACRIFICED HIMSEEEELFFFFFFFF FUCK DUDE NOOO

fun fact: i actually had to pause the show for a few seconds to put my head in my hands because NOOO SIR PENTIOUS MY SON BOY BABY BOY

FATHER'S HERE TO SAVE HIS DAUGHTERRR

i love how easily lucifer dodged adam's attacks lmao

"TASTE MY MERCY, BITCH" another iconic line from mr. duck-collector king-of-hell himself

niffty coming in and stabbing adam a bunch of times was awesome

"charlie told me to stab, so i stabbed :)" niffty. love her. weird little freak. epic

alastor coming back to the hotel ONLY after a breakdown and being like "i'm fine now guys :)" is... uncannily relatable LMAO

"ugh, this guy" lucifer. he nearly died, calm down with the sass for a second, sir

"i will never understand your taste" me neither, alastor. i don't think anyone quite understands niffty

the news describing it as "lucifer's pathetic daughter saved by her daddy" makes sense but. jeez what an asshole way to put it. she's an adult! and the PRINCESS OF HELL no less!!

AAAAAAAAAA MY BOY SIR PENTIOUSSSSSSSS AUGH

"uhhh.... where am i?"

emily's face being ":D!!" and sera's face being like. horrified. was amazing

#void keith talks #void keith's opinions #void keith rambles #hazbin #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel show #hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel show spoilers #MAJOR hazbin hotel spoilers #cool shows #cool tv shows

13 notes · View notes

prideflagcontest · 5 months ago

Text

ok as previously established i have now read act one of “if we were villains” by m.l.rio and it was so good? so here you have my theories on how the story continues

first of all someone dies. that was in the prologue (which is so very like the secret history)

it could be oliver that would be great, but as he is still alive ten years later also very unlikely (but narrating-vise it would be fun) oliver has the same role for now as the narrator dude in the secret history whose name i cannot remember rn

james could die but i don’t want him to (he would be a good killer tho bc he was a great villain in macbeth but has always been the nice guy). james is henry winter in my opinion rn. or francis bc the gay and put together

that james and oliver are best friends is interesting of course

killing meredith would be like femme fatale is dead. but like why. i mean pretty corpse and stuff but they all fancy her ecxept for james. (she would also make a good killer tho bc nobody would think she could be) meredith is camilla

alexander is random and i can’t really place him anywhere in my brain. but he did always play the villain so idk. i also can’t coin him as anyone in the secret history as of now. maybe charles but also not bc alexander doesn’t have a sister to abuse

who else

oh yeah filippa (spelling is unimportant) idk about her. the cross dressing thing comes off as random to me but she is a great shapeshifter apparently (also don’t know about the secret history with her)

gren? gwen? fren? idk? the rude guy’s cousin. she is quiet right? i don’t know why i can’t remember anything about her

which brings us to the best part: the rude guy whose name is unimportant. meredith’s bf. you know who i mean. it would be the classic move to kill him. bc he’s the leader. he took things way to far on halloween. meredith could cry which was already specified never happened. oliver could get revenge for james. or idk. mr. rude guy is bunny though. the it’s just a game i want to play was so creepy. it bugs me that i can’t remember his name. anyway

what about colin. killing that one rando third year would be a plot twist at least

so in conclusion i don’t know anything

but i like to imagine that this book and the secret history play at the same university at the same time with different groups and fields of study. the art people are just chilling mixing blood

the blood was weird. why did it smell bad if it was fake. did the art people give them a bucket of actual blood? what

yeh bye

i looked up mr. rude guys name and he’s richard. also wren. joy.

the way richard almost drowned james was so ew. dude stop. the scariest thing in this world is a man who doesn’t know when to stop and gets loud and angry even when it isn’t physical violence yet. but to me (girl, no method of defending myself) even guys raising their voices are scary even if they’re exited and not angry. so yes richard is scary there for a long sec.

also the way he got upset when he didn’t get the lead role like mf stop not everything is about you

but killing him would be fun bc everyone hates him and everyone would have a reason to

but why does oliver end up in jail anyway. did someone frame him or did he do it. also the police officer is so random

anyway richard is the tyrant and killing him would be the very obvious route to go. but idk isn’t that to simple? especially with them playing julius caesar?

idk i’m going to start reading act two now bye

act two scene six update:

richard is scary fr now

james has definitely faced physical abuse before from someone

alexander is gay

oliver being protective suits him

meredith standing up for herself

i’m scared that meredith will get killed by richard for that tho. it wouldn’t be the first time (battles have been fought over less / women have been killed for less)

from the prologue of this act, felippa, meredith, alexander and oliver make it out alive

scared for wren and james now

idc about richard the asshole

ok i’ll keep reading now

act 3 scene 2 update

ok what the fuck

first of all richard died of course but that was kind of obvious

they didn’t help him but watched him die instead bc they choose the trauma ig

richard was an asshole even more

why did meredith and oliver have to fuck pls how unnecessary

oliver if i eat an olive that’s cannibalism marks.

i can sense the oliver/james fanfics after whatever that was

why did oliver have to go in the water with a corpse

like hello

just call the police

the secret history comparison:

they watched richard die without helping in iwwv and killed bunny in tsh so yeah

dark academia doing it’s thing

idk what to say

i’m only half way through the book so i’ll keep going byee

alexander kept on with his villain stuff tho

act 3 scene 5

ok they’ve declared it an accident

but why the hell was oliver in prison for ten years then

does someone else die

i need a break from reading now but what

helllp who did he kill

finished it two weeks ago and forgot about this update

i forgot what happened

james and oliver

joliver olives pls make it olives

his body was never found so they’re gay together forever

was it exeunt siempre? idk that ending was a slay

100/10 experience

idk what else

richard died what a surprise

#if we were villains #if we were villains spoilers #iwwv spoilers #iwwv #tsh donna tartt #no one will read this and that’s okay #long post

3 notes · View notes

femme-from-hell · 2 years ago

Note

don't mind me going through your blog to consume all the lupin content 👀👀 but, on a side note, i was wondering if i could ask your preferences in the many verses of lupin! as in, in which verses do you like to see the main cast the most? which ones do you feel are the most "authentic" to the character? keep up the good work, and happy writings! ❤️

I’m kinda dumb so I’m assuming when you say ‘verses’ you mean like all the different versions of Lupin and the gang! For me, It would have to be a tie between Miyazaki’s Lupin (castle of Cagliostro), Takeshi Koike’s movie iterations of Lupin, Lupin in part 2 (red jacket), and part 5.

When it comes to what is authentic within Lupin and the character group to me, there are so many specific attributes to consider that are key focal points that make him, well, him! In Castle of Cagliostro, I adore the romantic nature where he leans more into the “gentleman” of the gentleman thief title. Miyazaki had stated that in his film, he wanted to depict a Lupin in his twilight years, a more mature version of himself. I feel like that more kind and caring nature is to die for, and it does really well in showing how the accumulation of all that he has gone through would understandably result in that type of personal development later in his life, assuming you were to put that movie on a timeline with all the other content. Along with Lupin, I love how the relationships between him and those he cares about are obviously close without having to directly say it, such as how he and Jigen wrestle about with one another, how Fujiko and him have a “I loved you once, and I still love you, just not in that way” vibe going on, etc.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have Koike’s depictions of Lupin and the others which heavily lean more into the “thief” portion of his title. The gritty nature, the unshaken attitude in the face of violence or death, all of it is a beautiful reminder of his origins (the manga)! It never fails to nail in the fact that in reality, he is a criminal, he isn’t really a good guy. Sure, once in a while he’ll save someone or do something kind, but most of it is as a result of an alterative motive. For example, in Fujiko Mine’s lie, he helps the kid out not because of morals or anything, but because the kid offered cash. That darker aspect of Lupin and his friends are rare in the later productions in the series, but whenever it does come about (with exceptions for stuff like Island of Assassins bcs its just a bad movie), it is beautifully done. It mixes a sense of manic sporadicity into Lupin which makes things all the more thrilling and interesting because it turns from just being this silly goofy guy to one of many layers of an internationally wanted criminal.

Part 5 manages to mix that mature nature earlier displayed by Miyazaki’s Lupin but reistablishes the fact that Lupin isn’t just some guy you see in the paper, but he is in fact, a dangerous wanted criminal. A scene I love deeply is when in part 5, then Ami (amy? Idk she was a little annoying I won’t lie), had run off into an alley and these goons started picking on he and Lupin swoops in as usual. Unlike the usual goofy beating he would give them, he puts his gun into one of the dude’s mouths and was like, “I’m not some celebrity. I’m a criminal, I’ve killed before and I’ll do it again.”! It is one of my all time fav scenes across the board for the series. In terms of the maturity, it can be seen in his relationship with Fujiko which I adore. There scenes are so palpable with unspoken tension, his love for her exceeding words and how what they have will never be as simple as ‘I love you’. It takes all these good parts and mashes them together to make something amazing

As for my thoughts on part 2? He’s a gigantic asshole! He’s selfish, childish, whiney, but he’s also brilliant, inventive, and hilarious. All of these together make part 2 a great depiction of Lupin in his youth.

Sorry this got kind of long, i got pretty carried away but I had fun writing a little summary on my thoughts! I hope you enjoyed it and I’m sorry if I misunderstood (￣▽￣*)ゞ

19 notes · View notes

zeldahime · 2 years ago

Text

just something i’ve noticed, in the last few years since the furuba reboot,

teens now object to uo/kureno and tohru’s mom/tohru’s dad way way wayyyyy more than i ever did as a teen. and like, i get why, but i’m still like, were my teen experiences really that different?

like, for me, i had friends who were like uo: bad home life, started being The Adult In The House when they were like 10/11, by the time they’re 17 they’re working and they relate best to people a lot older than them. hell, when i was 17 i was in college -- i had a great home life but i still saw my peer group as the 18-24 year olds! so uo, an adult before her time, meeting kureno, who graduated high school and then was chucked straight into complete social isolation and has a definite case of arrested development, seemed like a socially-acceptable enough fit. maybe sideways glances, but nothing to make a scene over. it was way better than what my real life friends were getting when they were dating much older men. uo has real agency, she’s not dependent on him for anything, and kureno is actually a stand-up dude! practically a dream relationship when compared to.... some dudes. (god, jessica, why did you keep dating those assholes.)

tohru’s mom and dad, idk, i thought tohru’s dad was like 19, maybe 20 tops and 15ish and 19ish isn’t exactly a nightmare scenario. i wouldn’t recommend it in real life but i knew plenty of kids who dated in that range at my high school and it’s in line, if on the young side, with the ages people got married in the historical fiction and even history books i was devouring at the same time. i knew a girl who got married at 16 to her 19 y/o boyfriend so that she had wife’s rights when he got deployed and would be able to be with him in heaven if he got killed in action. (like i said, i wouldn’t have recommended it, but i get it -- there’s real security in being married, even very young, in certain situations.)

idk, i see them compared to disturbing predatory relationships and i just don’t think that’s the best comparison. i really do think they analogue much more closely to the less predatory relationships i saw in my personal life than the scarier ones that i know do happen. uo and tohru’s mom aren’t exactly loretta lynn, here, in my opinion.

so it just strikes me as odd seeing long denunciations of these relationships. i don’t know if i’m just a geezer at not-yet-30, or if there was something about my own upbringing that’s different from that of the new audience, or if i’m seeing an outlier minority, or what. and look: i’m not saying you have to like them! heaven knows i dropped many a manga for uncomfortable depictions of age gaps (dengeki daisy comes to mind). i just think this difference is interesting and worth having a discussion about.

#fruits basket #furuba #kurisa #kureno sohma #arisa uotani #katsko #katsuya honda #kyoko honda

18 notes · View notes

urmomsspeciallady · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter Six- it's still no piece of cake

sex scenes and video games - grady

POV: Kenneth McCormick

I've been trying to find a reason to see Leopold again. If I'm going to get to the bottom of this, the first thing I need to do is see him, and this was when God decided to bless me with a group project. Never thought I'd be looking forward to school work, but here I am, waiting for Ms. Garrison to pick the groups whilst crossing my fingers like a little kid. I paid no attention to the words spilling out of her mouth until I heard my name. Followed by Kyle's. Then Clyde's. And finally Butters'. I exhale in relief. For once I'm glad she's choosing groups by seating charts. I turn around to face Butters. His head lay down on his desk, his arms crossed over each other, and his face appeared relaxed. He let out gentle breaths. I watched as his back rose and fell in a slow peaceful pattern. I turn around to see Ms. Garrison is still droning on so I reach in my bag, pull out a notebook, rip a page out, and slip the notebook back in my bag. I lift my head to see if I've caused a distraction and continue on when my question is answered. I scribble on the paper then fold it up. I then turn back to face the tranquil sleeping Leopold and reach over to carefully nudge the paper under his arms. I turn back around to face the front of the class room and just sit. Waiting for this to end. I feel a buzz in my pocket and sneak a look at my phone. Kyle had already made a group chat.

bb kyle 😍, misquitoman, and leo (4)

bb kyle 😍- Hello, we've only got 2 weeks on this project before we present. What book are we thinking of choosing?

misquitoman- hey. uh idk i liked the outsiders. i dont really care, as long as it's one of the not boring ones.

sexyman- hey guys 💪 how bout omam since we just finished that one

bb kyle 😍- Of Mice and Men sounds good with me.

misquitoman- sure

misquitoman- what's butters opinion on this

I could see Kyle lift his head to look around the room then back down at his phone.

bb kyle 😍- I think he's asleep.

bb kyle 😍- Kenny you're close to him, you wake him up.

sexyman- nah let the man sleep, it's almost lunch break any way

sexyman- he'd be fine with omam. it should be pretty easy to do. only got 6 chapters.

bb kyle 😍- Alright.

misquitoman- 👍

I turn my phone off and slip it back in my pocket just to stare up at the clock hanging on the wall just waiting for the bell to ring.

Tick, tick, tick.

Time went by and yet Ms. Garrison never failed to find something more to talk about. I turned around to look at Butters once again. His figure was still rising and falling in that same slow peaceful pattern. His pale hair fell over his face. His delicate face. Round pink dusted cheeks, plump rosy lips, beautiful long lashes, light freckles lining the bridge of his curved button nose, everything about him looked like something straight from a painting. My eyes met Cartman's. He sat behind Butters. He made a face at me and I promptly turned around. My eyes once again gravitate towards the clock. Only 2 more minutes.

It wasn't long before the bell rang and Kyle ran up to me, nudging me playfully in the shoulder. "Hey dude!" We begin to walk out of the room and into the hallway swarmed by students ready for their lunch. "This project actually sucks ass. It's boring but we should be able to get it done quickly. It's not too hard."

I shrug then nod my head in agreement.

Kyle and I continue to make our way through the maze of people. Shortly after beginning the journey to the cafeteria, a short startled cry produced by Kyle was heard. Stan, as he frequently does, had walked up behind Kyle and poked his fingers into his sides. "Dude!" Kyle's face grew red and both Stan and I let out a chuckle.

"Hey Kyle. Hey Kenny. Man, wait for me next time! I ran down almost two hallways to catch up with you assholes!" Stan swings his arms around me and Kyle, wedging himself between us.

Kyle scoffed, "You were too busy making out with Wendy anyway."

"Haha. Very funny. She's in my group for the project, dude. We were just talking about which book we wanted to do."

Kyle only rolled his eyes and changed the conversation. Whatever it was about occupied them so much that they hadn't noticed when I made it to my locker.

I had stepped aside to put in my locker combo, twisting the knob right, then left, then right again. I hate having to carry around a sack lunch and I hate hearing about it from Cartman. I close my locker shut with a clank and start my trek through the treacherous halls to the cafeteria.

----- end of chapter

< previous ~ next >

#build me up buttercup sp #Spotify

1 note · View note

mannatea · 9 months ago

Text

Don't worry I'm still watching lmao.

Supreme Kai is the only person thinking with a brain at any point I swear to goDDDD. “We should all fight him!” is the correct answer always but the Z fighters are all like hmmm actually what if we did honorable 1v1 duels instead? Gentlemen, you’re all dumb as shit.

Yakon eating the energy from the SSJ transformation is me eating that Jell-O brand no-bake cheesecake tbh.

Once again Mr. Satan shows he is clever. I mean usually he uses his bullshitting for dumb reasons but his suggestion for a battle royale is incredibly huge brain. Like yeah, he should be afraid they’ll all gang up on him to eliminate him, but he’s such a good fucking faker it’s funny as shit.

18 blushing at her friends and daughter cheering her on is honestly the cutest thing UGHHH I LOVE HER.

Speaking of loving 18, her fight with “Mighty Mask”? Incredible. Her deal with Mr. Satan? Extremely large huge brain. She is the very best.

Gohan is the king of standing there with his hands on his hips.

Vegeta being mad that Gohan is “weak” now is literally so annoying. Leave the kid alone. ☹

Also Majin Vegeta is such an asshole. I mean, he was already an asshole to begin with but good grief. This is just the case where you have to accept that Vegeta really is a selfish prick…or decide that the series has pulled him out of character (because there’s really no in-between). Bulma’s surprise (and disappointment, and horror) is understandable because she doesn’t know what’s going on, but like…this was definitely built up to…and he admitted earlier he didn’t give a shit about anybody else on Earth. Lol.

“Oh, he’s controlled by Babidi.” Like…only partially. He actively disobeys orders, so he’s in some control of his actions. And the implication that he let himself be controlled?? Cringe. I liked Vegeta quite a bit in previous arcs but this whole thing really turns him into a problematic fave sort of character LOL.

The fact that it takes Goku so long to catch on to how serious Vegeta is…is also cringe though.

Shin is dumb as shit too. “Don’t fight him or it gives Babidi what he wants!” I mean he’s going to get it anyway if Vegeta kills another million people lol.

Vegeta’s monologuing is exhausting. Shut up, dude. This series loves giving you like 1.3 character traits and rolling with that until the end of time. I wonder how Vegeta fans feel about this arc and what it did to their super problematic fave. Even at the end of this arc with everything restored…it’s like…you can’t undo the fact that the biggest reason it all happened in the first place was because of Vegeta. Like… Yikes bro.

“My priiiiide” shut up shut up shut up

“Get angry, Gohan!” noooo leave him aloneeeee. Though I will say this makes mystic!Gohan of later in the series feel…better I think. I guess I have opinions about Gohan’s supposed temper and how everyone around him just kind of wants him to harness that because it makes him “stronger” regardless of how Gohan himself feels about it. Also, I think he has to be angry for the right reasons for this to work. Angry in general won’t do shit.

IDK it feels like Gohan doesn’t really have a temper. He’s literally so mild-mannered. The only times he really seems to fly into a rage is when something truly terrible is happening and like…anyone with a heart would be over-the-top angry about it. And Gohan is probably the most tenderhearted character in this series lmao.

Hey Vegeta, if you died you could also train endlessly in the Other World. Just saying. Maybe you should consider it.

I feel like Vegeta also has one braincell. Maybe all saiyans are born with one single brain cell. Or is it possible they’re forced to share that single braincell amongst themselves?

Like the fact that Goku can literally train endlessly in the Other World should put him as the strongest of the group by default, so Vegeta keeping up with him in ANY capacity should be considered an incredible feat. But nope, nobody really acknowledges that. :U

Vegeta really like us for real, up until 3am thinking of every embarrassing thing he’s ever done. The difference is that he monologues it to us via a powerpoint slideshow in the background.

Vegeta, your people are basically wiped out. so much for being royalty lmao. Just give it up already.

I love that Gohan’s been running around with one glove on and the other glove off now for ages. Now that’s commitment to detail.

Anyone calling Gohan “scum” is just so funny lmao.

“Get angry!” okay but he’s probably just angry with himself for not being stronger. Challenge Leave Gohan Alone, Difficulty Level: Impossible.

Shin is a god of gods with middle level management powers. Kinda feel bad for him lmao.

Mr. Satan? More like Mr. Sexist.

Vegeta is such a 2-year-old jfc. Sorry you’re not a special snowflake like you always thought you deserved to be. “WAHHH I WANT TO BE BRUTAL AND UNCARING AGAIN WAHHHHHH I HATE CARING ABOUT PEOPLE WAHHHHHH I HATE BEING GENTLE. I WANT TO BE SPECIAL I WANT MY CAKE AND I WANT TO EAT THAT CAKE WAHH.” I’m not saying Vegeta can’t have complicated feelings about himself and having come to like being on Earth, but I feel like a lot of this part of the Majin Boo/Buu (HOWEVER THE FUCK IT’S SPELLED IN 2024) Arc just sort of undermines the complexities of those feelings Vegeta would be dealing with. Bleh.

Random thoughts about DBZ because I’m rewatching starting at the Great Saiyaman Arc.

Gohan is just so wholesome and good. Even after all these years I still stan with my whole heart. When he finds out that Mr. Satan has been taking credit for (more or less) his and his friends’ work during the Cell Games, and all he does is just have a giggle about it? I love him your honor.

These episodes start off so goofy after the more serious tone of the Cell Games arc, but even though they’re not very serious there’s enough realism in there for the silliness to feel grounded I guess? Like yeah, “Gohan goes to high school” sounds so dull off the cuff, but there’s something seriously charming about him trying to “fit in” and “be normal”—and to a degree it’s a relatable issue, too. He really is just trying to make friends and keep them (after a lifetime so far of not really having friends his own age)(I think Dende sort of counts for this but they don’t see each other as often as, say, a school friend group does).

Videl doesn’t half-ass anything and frankly that’s one of the reasons I will always love her.

Seriously, I love her so much. I wish they’d had more time to develop her character and go into a bit more about why she acts the way she does, but a lot of that can just be inferred. It’s not really surprising that she’s out there like a bloodhound sniffing out bullshit from Day 1 considering her father’s fame and what that has probably meant for her for the last 7ish years.

Also she’s a Fashion Icon actually. Spandex shorts and a t-shirt? Same, girl.

She does attach herself to Gohan awfully quickly, which ties back into wishing we got more character development, buttttt it seems pretty clear early on that part of the reason she wants to know who he is is because he’s “just like her for real”: she definitely seems to understand she’s found someone worth her time.

I think there’s probably something to be said here about her father’s bullshit too, and filling her head with ideas about how she can only date someone as strong as he is (when she believes nobody like that exists, especially not someone her age) but really I feel like that connection forms so quickly because Gohan is not a simp or a fan of hers; he just has a similar idea of justice, and she really vibes with that. It feels like a genuine connection to another person, which she probably hasn't experienced often.

Anyway I just love how earnest and hard-working she is.

And I’m sorry because the shipping goggles are permanently affixed to my dumb face at this point in my life with these characters, but it’s still pretty cute (and funny tbh) that Videl and Gohan have this constant back and forth of her doing something and him being genuinely impressed by her, even though her accomplishments are like, absolutely nothing compared to what he and his friends can do. It just kind of sets up Gohan as a “look at my awesome wife” kind of guy, which he definitely is. LOL.

I also really like how he manages to recognize that she has limitations (as she is just a human being) without ever really coming across like he’s disrespecting her as a person. Above all, Gohan does try to be respectful. Or when he’s worried about potentially coming up against her father in the tournament because he’s concerned beating her father in a match might hurt her feelings? He’s such a good kid.

He’s also dumb as shit re: the hair comment, but there’s something about that stupid 5 second scene that I love too… Like Gohan was just spitting facts about short hair being harder to use against her in a fight, but she totally misunderstood his meaning and then gets mad about it. LOL. It feels very…teenagery to me (as it should). But when she comes back with short hair anyway, it’s nice because even though she was upset for having misunderstood him, she obviously recognizes the truth in his words. It was good advice—so she takes it.

I also feel kind of bad for Gohan for all the teasing he gets at the start of the tournament for his “friend” being a “girl” like pleaaase give him a break. The poor kid barely has friends. Let’s not pigeonhole him into a romantic relationship too.

Honestly Videl needs time to build up a good friendship too. She kind of sucks at making and keeping friends and doesn’t need the pressure of romance on her plate (even though she’s obviously sorta interested HAHAHA).

I mean I like that they do get together in the end (obviously, I was the biggest G/V shipper in the old days lol) but that their friendship felt highlighted first and foremost was always meaningful to me personally lol.

Also to backtrack, it’s still hilarious that ChiChi was suspicious of Videl until she found out she was rich. ICONIQUE.

Goten is the cutest little kid ARGHHHH. I love him so much.

One thing about watching the series in Japanese is that I miss out on the dub’s terrible rapping attempts by Gohan and frankly that is PEAK COMEDY.

Videl sounds 10x cuter in the original, too, now that I think about it. And Hercule sounds much more serious (despite his comedic relief character) which is a great contrast actually.

Announcer man is a fave too btw. I love him.

Backtracking again but Vegeta at the beginning of this arc was actually not as much of an asshole as I remember him being in the dub. But also why is his voice so smooth?? LOL.

Currently on the Trunks vs. Goten fight episode where Videl is like “WTF” about everything. I kinda feel bad for her, but I like that while her not knowing what’s going on is part of the comedy aspect of the episodes, she’s never treated like she’s stupid for it. For all of DBZ’s faults I will say some characters were done surprisingly well.

#dbz #challenge manna shut up / difficulty level: impossible

11 notes · View notes

wwinterwitch · 2 years ago

Text

eddie’s friends (eddie munson x fem!reader)

summary: you get to meet a few of eddie's best friends after a basketball game

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader (also including robin, steve and nancy but it’s all platonic)

word count: 1,859

warnings/what to expect: non-canon complaint (everyone already know eddie and are friends with him), popular/loser trope, literally y'all being one big happy family, romantic and platonic fluff, everyone is happy (as they should be)

a/n: idk where i was going with this. i wrote this after vol. 2 just to feel something and i've finally decided to post it. it’s just my own little therapy now that we’re not getting more content of the fruity four so i hope y’all enjoy this <3

a reblog and/or comment is always appreciated

masterlist | AO3

"Dude, no way," Steve says in complete disbelief. "There's no way that is your girlfriend."

"Don't sound so surprised," Eddie replies sarcastically, giving his friend a look.

"I don't think Steve meant it like that," Nancy joined the conversation in an attempt to make things better after Steve's comment. "It's just...it's hard to believe since you two look so different."

That was very much true. He was the typical metal head who looks mean and intimidating, while you always seemed to have a smile of your face and seemed to be one of the nicest people to have ever existed. And you are head cheerleader, which means he's really not the type of person you hang around with.

But things changed that one day when a teacher decided you two should do a work project together. You weren't fond of the idea of having to spend time with Eddie Munson at first, and he was definitely not excited to spend his time with one of the popular kids.

Much to yours and Eddie's surprise, you two had so much chemistry and connected almost instantly. He would say the most random thing that wouldn't fail to make you laugh, and you were so adorable it made his heart melt.

You remember he first asked you out on a date the last time you two hang out in the library to finish the project, and you obviously accepted. More dates came after that before he asked you to be officially his girlfriend. You two have been together even since.

"Yeah, well...opposites do attract I guess," was his response, failing to hide the smile appearing on his face. "I honestly still have no idea how we even end up together."

"You and me both," Steve muttered, still very much in disbelief. Nancy subtly nudged him and gave him a warning look. "But– but I'm so happy for you, man! Really, great news."

"Thank you, Wheeler," Eddie leaned across Steve as he thanked her, evidently noticing her latest gesture. "Look, Steve, not my fault you still can't manage to date a girl longer than a weekend. Some of us do get girlfriends."

Nancy laughed at Eddie's comment, covering her mouth in an attempt to hide her smile as she looked ahead at the group of cheerleaders getting ready for their routine. Steve didn't argue back, knowing his friend was only telling the truth. Besides, he was an asshole just now so he totally deserved it.

The group noticed you finished talking with your friends and immediately scanned the crowd in hopes to spot Eddie. As soon as you did, your eyes light up as you wave at him, a gesture he immediately replied. You knew he hated basketball games, but he made the effort just to see you and be there with you.

The game was about to start, so you and the rest of the cheerleaders begin your routine to hype everyone up before the players joined everyone at the gym. Nancy looked at Eddie just in time to see him beginning to clap and cheer you on, and she immediately smiled to herself. She has never seen her friend this happy. Like, genuinely happy. Not just pretending to always be on a good mood ready to throw a fun little comment here and there, but actually feeling like life was good because he had you by his side.

Robin, who was standing with the band just a few rows below them, turned back to look at them and pointed at you excitedly, almost as if she saw a celebrity, already being able to identify you as Eddie's new girlfriend. She gave Eddie a thumbs up in sign of approval before turning back and wait for their moment to join in with the music.

After the game, you tried to be as quick as possible to get all your stuff ready to walk outside the school to meet Eddie. He said he would be waiting for you by the parking lot, already giving you the heads up that he wanted you to finally meet his friends.

It was weird to you at first that his group of best friends, aside from all the people that conform the Hellfire Club, were none other that Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley. This quartet has to be the most random combination of people you could ever create, and yet they were important enough for Eddie to want you to meet them and introduce you as his girlfriend.

You can't deny you were a little bit nervous, because you've never spoken to any of them. You kinda knew Robin because she's in school with you, but you've never interacted with Nancy and Steve. Like, at all. And since they are your boyfriend's best friends, you really wanted them to like you.

"Hi, sorry it took me so long, guys!" you quickly excused yourself, flashing a smile to the entire group in front of you. "It's nice to finally meet you all!" you added excitedly, leaning into Eddie when he wrapped an arm around you.

"Hi! I don't know if you've seen me around school...probably not– uh, you probably had absolutely no idea I existed until today," Robin was the first one to talk, obviously her own brain failing her as she once again found herself talking way too fast.

"No, no. Of course I know who you are," you replied. "I've seen you when you guys practice at the gym before the games," you replied. "And I think we have almost every class together."

"Holy shit, really? You actually know who I am?"

"Robin," Eddie warned. Robin quickly figured out that was her queue to stop talking.

You chuckled at what just happened, "You guys were great today, by the way."

"Whoa, I...uh, thanks!" she replied, genuinely surprised by how nice you actually are, which immediately made the group understand a little better why you're dating Eddie. "And the cheers were awesome, as always. You guys are just...fantastic, really."

"Thanks. I did today's routine so it's really nice to know you liked it."

"That's amazing, it was really good!" Nancy said this time, extending out her hand for you. "I'm Nancy."

"Oh, I already know all of your names," you confessed a bit shyly, shaking her hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you. Eddie talks a lot about you," she added.

"He does?" you asked, looking up at Eddie with a grin while he avoided to look at you to spare himself from getting teased by you.

"I'm not sure about the a lot part..."

"You won't shut up about her, dude," Steve cuts him off. "Guy's nuts about you."

"Really? Because he said he just told you that we were dating."

"Well, then he was clearly lying because it was the three of us that helped him build the courage to ask you on a date."

"Can we talk about something else?" Eddie intervened, clearly embarrassed.

"You and me have to continue this conversation some other day," you said to Steve.

"Sure, I'm always available to piss him off."

"Are you her friend or mine?"

Steve gave him a look, grinning before replying, "Honesty I like her better already." Eddie and Steve laughed at their little exchange, but before any of you could say anything else another cheer walked outside the school.

"Ah, there you are!" she said directly at you. "We're at the gym about to take a photo with the basketball team for the yearbook!"

"Okay, I'll be right there," you quickly told her before she politely smiled to the group you were with before walking back inside. You turned to look at Eddie immediately, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, go," he quickly reassured you. "Your duties as head cheerleader call," he added sarcastically, making you chuckle.

"Stop doing that!" you replied. He always made fun of you for your status at school, which you found hilarious because the two of you disliked the whole idea that being popular suddenly made you better than other people. As if high school means anything after you graduate. "I'm really sorry, guys."

"Don't worry, we should go find the kids to take them home anyway," Steve said, looking around him in hope to find at least one of those little devils.

"I don't think we're all gonna fit in your car, though," Nancy commented.

"Yeah, but Eddie can drop some of them off, right?" Steve asked, to which Eddie replied with a nod. "Great. In that case Robin, Nance, Mike and Lucas go with me. Dustin and Max go with you."

"Got it," Eddie nodded after his instruction.

"I'll be back soon," you said to him, since he was also giving you a ride home and you didn't want him and those two kids waiting for you for too long. "And again, it's been great meeting you guys. We should hang out sometime."

"Totally!" Robin agreed. "I think we're all free this Friday."

"Yeah, Friday sounds great," Nancy also agreed.

"I'll see you on Friday, then," you smiled at the three of them, giving Eddie a quick kiss on the cheek before heading back to the school's doors. "I'll be back as soon as possible!"

With that said, you rushed back inside the school to head to the gym for the photo. When you were gone, Eddie looked at his friends to see what they thought. "So?"

"She's great, man," Steve was the first one to answer. "Totally not what I was expecting. She's nicer than I thought."

"Yeah, me too," agreed Robin shortly after. "I have to admit I was terrified of her at first, but she's very nice! If you ever break up with her I'm going to hate you forever."

"Believe me, I don't plan to do that."

"I'm happy you found someone, Eddie," Nancy said this time. "You look genuinely happy around her and you truly deserve to have someone that cares so much about you."

"Aw, don't get all soppy on me, Wheeler," he teased, thought appreciated his friend's words, pulling her in for a hug.

"A thank you would've been better," she commented with a smile, returning the hug.

"Oh, oh!" Robin exclaimed. "This never happen between us! We never hug. Does this mean we can hug?"

"Nope. Just us," Eddie quickly clarified, pulling away from Nancy shortly after.

"Ah, don't be like that, Munson!" Steve said, immediately wrapping his arms around his friend so he wouldn't escape. Eddie tried to push him back, but there was nothing he can do when Robin joined the hug too, making it impossible for him to set himself free.

"Yay, we're hugging!" Robin says with obvious excitement. "Join us, Nance!"

Nancy rolled her eyes, but joined them anyway, sharing a group hug that only lasted a few seconds. As soon as they were backing down, Eddie took a step away from them, as if he didn't enjoy hugging his three best friends (truth is, he did).

"Hey, weirdos!" they heard Dustin calling out for them, all of the kids standing outside of Steve's car. "Can we go now?"

Steve, Nancy and Robin walked towards them. Lucas was there with them, which meant all of you were done with the yearbook photo. Just as that thought was crossing Eddie's mind, he noticed you walked out of the school again, walking over him to grab his hand.

"Henderson, Red!" he called, both Dustin and Max turning around to look at him. "I'm driving you home, let's go!"

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader #robin buckley #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #stranger things #fruity four x reader #fruity four #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic #eddie munson fic

512 notes · View notes

makeste · 3 years ago

Text

BnHA Chapter 322: IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all, “Kirishima please take Hagakure and Aoyama and put them away somewhere out of sight until we’re finally ready for the U.A. Traitor Plot.” Shouto was all “HEY DEKU DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE YOU WANDERING THE STREETS LOOKING LIKE A GOTH PRAYING MANTIS IS EXACTLY WHAT AFO WANTS.” Deku was all “I’M SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY CRUSHING MARTYR COMPLEX AND ACCUMULATED TRAUMA.” Mineta was all “HEY DEKU YOU SWEET THANG, IF I COULD REARRANGE THE ALPHABET I’D PUT ‘U’ AND ‘I’ TOGETHER, ANYWAYS HMU 💖”, or at least that’s what fandom apparently thought he said. Everyone was all “WELL SINCE WE’RE BACK HERE IN KAMINO WE SHOULD DO THE THING” and did the whole “launching someone into the air to save someone by dramatically grabbing their hand” thing that everybody fucking loves to do in Kamino so damn much. Iida was all “[bombards me and Deku with feels].” Deku was all, “ू(ʚ̴̶̷́ .̠ ʚ̴̶̷̥̀ ू).” I was all, “(;*△*;).” Horikoshi was all, “my work here is done.”

Today on BnHA:

oh my god.

so I finally went back to look at what I wrote up for 321 last week, and it’s a hot fucking mess lol, and I really don’t want to deal with that right now, so we’re just gonna skip it and go back sometime in the next few days or something because I really want to read the new chapter and I have no self control. I’M SORRY IIDA

oh my god he’s breaking out the narration word bubbles oh my god. shit is about to get epic isn’t it

has there ever been a chapter that opened with these that WASN’T epic? serious question. anyways all aboard the Feels Express I guess

YEP

I saved a bunch of other crying kaomojis when I was looking for ones to use in the “previously on” summary, and right now it’s looking like that was a good fucking decision you guys. if I’m going to be an emotional wreck I might as well do it in style ʕ ಡ ﹏ ಡ ʔ

AND BY THE WAY!!

SHOULD I JUST THANK HORIKOSHI NOW AND SAVE MYSELF SOME TIME LATER. THE MAN ALWAYS FUCKING DELIVERS WHAT ELSE CAN I FUCKING SAY GODDAMN. IS IT TOO EARLY TO DECLARE THIS MY NEW FAVORITE CHAPTER? I SHOULD PROBABLY READ FURTHER THAN ONE PAGE BUT I’VE JUST GOT A FEELING

(ETA: it’s like. maybe my second favorite lol. A HUG WOULD HAVE PUT IT IN FIRST, I’M JUST SAYING.)

anyway so Ochako is releasing Iida, which is actually hilarious, because idk if you all know this but Iida can’t fucking fly you guys

like, I assume Ochako released him because she already knew that Kirishima was in place to catch him, but I really love this split-second of panic on Iida’s part where he’s all “HMM, IS OCHAKO TRYING TO KILL ME, ACTUALLY”

LOL THERE’S A THOOM AND EVERYTHING

that’s some plus fucking ultra on Ochako’s part right there. “IF THEY DIE THEY DIE” goddamn girl did you leave your chill in the same locker as Momo or what

now poor Kiri is all “DAMMIT DEKU ARE YOU PASSED OUT OR WHAT, I DIDN’T GET TO TELL YOU MY THING GODDAMMIT”

oh my gosh he is curled up so small you guys oh my fucking lord

RESIDUAL “LOST CHILD” FEELS FROM LAST WEEK COMING IN FOR A LANDING!! PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR SEATBACKS AND TRAY TABLES ARE IN THEIR UPRIGHT POSITIONS OMG ( ˚͈͈͈͈̥̆ ₍₎ ˚͈͈͈͈̥̆ )

LMAO IIDA IS TRYING TO CONFIRM THAT OCHAKO PLANNED FOR KIRISHIMA TO CATCH HIM, AND KIRISHIMA IS ALL “NOPE I’M JUST HERE BY CHANCE BRO”

Ochako is the U.A. Traitor confirmed. Hagakure I am so sorry I doubted you. Ochako get over here. so are you Toga now or what

anyway so now everyone is running over before Iida can react to this casual announcement of his attempted murder. and now Mina is taking her turn, and Horikoshi is all “HEY BTW IS MINA CRYING ON THE LIST OF THINGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY?” and of fucking course it is, you bastard. I’m not made of stone

( ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥)

SLDKFJLSDKJ:LKWEJ

IS THIS THE PART WHERE I JUST START SCREAMING INCOHERENTLY FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER LOL. SURE FEELS LIKE WE ARE GETTING TO THAT TIME

OH MY GOD KACCHAN AHHHHH

I CAN’T OMG LOL I ALREADY GLANCED AT THE NEXT COUPLE OF PANELS, AND HE’S STARTING A WHOLEASS MONOLOGUE ABOUT ALL OF HIS DEKU FEELS AND OH MY GOD

“HERE YOU GO MAKESTE, A WHOLE CHAPTER OF ALL YOUR FAVORITE META TOPICS JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE THEM” THANK YOU HORIKOSHI YOU’RE A BRO (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

SLKASODIFALWKFLKJ

THEY’RE JUST DEKU AND KACCHAN. holy shit you guys. because oh my god, but it’s like when Deku was talking to the Vestiges about saving Tomura, and he turned into his little child self because his heart and intentions were so pure?? and it’s like that again, except that we’re seeing them as their child selves because that’s who they are to each other?? like, not that they actually see each other as children, but just, they can see past all of the stuff on the outside and see each other to their cores, to who they are inside, and when they look at each other they each simply see the other boy that they’ve known their whole entire life. idk?? does that make sense??? DOES ANY OF THIS EVEN MAKE SENSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT WORDS ARE ANYMORE I’M JUST SWIMMING IN FEELS OKAY. I’M TRYING HERE

they’re just boys, is what I’m trying to say, I guess. just Deku and Kacchan. all the walls are down, all the gaps are bridged, and all it is is the one boy reaching out and connecting with the other, and just,,, (꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

OH MY GOD [GRABBING YOUR SHOULDERS AND POINTING WORDLESSLY] !!!1LK1

DO YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THIS IS YOU GUYS

HOW PERFECTLY FUCKING RAD. WELL LET ME JUST ENJOY THESE LAST FEW SECONDS BEFORE MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED, I GUESS

GOD

CAN HE EVEN SAY THAT??? IS THAT EVEN LEGAL??? IS HE EVEN FUCKING ALLOWED TO SAY THAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING

OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

─=≡Σ((( つ ◕o◕ )つ

GET IN HERE, EVERYONE!!

Y’ALL HE REALLY DID IT. “BAKUGOU IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE HE HASN’T EVEN APOLOGIZED” WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT. GUESS FUCKING WHAT, YOU GUYS!! LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO ((((／￣∇￣)／＼(￣∇￣＼)))) AHHHHHHHHHH

OHHHHHHHH

HEH. I’M ALREADY DEAD, HORIKOSHI, YOU BASTARD. DO YOUR WORST. GO ON

YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON “US”, HE SAYS. ALONG WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF OMG. KACCHAN, YOU STUDIED!! YOU UNDERSTAND!! PREACH!!

OH NO!!

OH WAIT!!!!

LOL I GOT SCARED THERE FOR A SECOND BUT ANYWAY! EVERYONE GET IN HERE!!! GROUP HUG!!! OR WAIT, NO, WHAT ABOUT -- [GRABS YOUR COLLAR URGENTLY] YOU DON’T THINK -- COULD THEY POSSIBLY -- !!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ARE YOU GONNA HUG!??!?!?!?! I AM NOT OKAY!!!!!!! !!!hgk

REACTION PANELS LOL EVERYONE ELSE IS ON THE EDGE OF THEIR SEATS TOO WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

LOL OCHAKO

I KNOW THAT IN REALITY THIS FACE IS JUST BECAUSE SHE’S CONCERNED ABOUT DEKU’S FRAGILE STATE RN, BUT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE WAY SHE JUST DROPPED IIDA COLD THOUGH, AND I CAN’T HELP BUT FEAR FOR KACCHAN’S SAFETY LMAO. THAT FEELING WHEN THE CLASS PERV AND THE CLASS BULLY BOTH BEAT YOU TO THE LOVE CONFESSION. KACCHAN WATCH YOUR SIX

OKAY BUT LOOK, IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T LOVE ALL OF THE OTHER KIDS, OKAY, BUT CAN WE PLEASE!??!?! HELLO?!?!? MOMO, JUST -- COULD YOU JUST FOR A MINUTE --

NOOOOOOOOOOO

“DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, I HAVE TO SAVE SOMETHING FOR THE FINALE” HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, I’M COMING FOR YOU WITH A TWO BY FOUR!! NOT THAT I’M UNGRATEFUL!! BUT JESUS CHRIST, YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT, AND THEN ALMOST DO THAT, AND THEN NOT!! OMG I HATE YOU

sure let’s cut to Thirteen then, yay. I mean I’m glad they’re alive lol, don’t get me wrong

(ETA: I think that might have sounded a bit sarcastic so I just want to clarify that I really am happy Thirteen is alive and on the job again lol.)

it’s just that if your name doesn’t begin with Baku or Deku I honestly am not interested for just these next five minutes okay lol. like I’m just gonna be completely honest. I am too invested lol, please, they were having a moment, JUST LET ME HAVE THIS PLEASE

OH DAMN U.A. GOT SWOLE AF

THIS SCHOOL HAS BEEN JUICING WTF. I THOUGHT YOU WERE TARTARUS LOL

I’m literally not even reading the speech bubbles though omg I’m so sorry. I really hope there is not a quiz, I promise I will come back to it later scroll scroll scroll

okay so they brought him back to U.A. and he’s all tired and out of it yes

oh goody Hagakure knows all about the security system

(ETA: is it just me or is Horikoshi really laying it on thick with the hints about these two guys lately? I’m on to you sir.)

THAT’S WONDERFUL NEWS. GLAD THIS CRITICAL KNOWLEDGE IS SAFE IN THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE THAT WE TRUST

ffs Deku

WHAT WILL IT EVEN TAKE TO CONVINCE YOU THEN?? SWEET JESUS

-- holy shit, what??!

they know?? how did they find out??! holy shit???

I’m about to cancel the whole of Japan lmao. fucking try me dudes

-- THE PRINCIPAL!?

NEZU GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE FUCK

“a ticking time bomb” tell you what, this man is just asking to be punched in the face. literally begging for it omg

(ETA: I have been advised that I misread this part; Rat Principal told everyone how safe U.A. was, but he’s not the one who ratted out Deku; that was “the rumors”, apparently. which, if I had to guess, were probably started by AFO.)

oh I see, so it’s to be Feels, Part II then

he looks so sad and tired and lonely and she goes right for the hand, god bless. though if Kacchan’s not gonna hug him, you’d think someone would at least. or is it because he still smells bad. hmm

AND THE CHAPTER’S ENDING ON HER LOL WELL OKAY THEN

I MEAN IT’S GREAT AND ALL, I LOVE OCHAKO REALLY I DO, BUT WE WERE PROMISED GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GODS, WHAT GIVES SOB. I WAS ALL READY TO BREAK OUT INTO SONG AND EVERYTHING. SURE, HE DID THE APOLOGY, BUT WHERE IS THE FOLLOW-UP GODDAMMIT

(ETA: just to clarify the reason for my rambling here, I was really waiting for the hero name reveal and the presumed deeper meaning behind it lol. but I guess that is a conversation still to come! and we still need Deku’s response to the apology too for that matter. lots to look forward to still.)

WELL WHATEVER, SO THAT IS THE END OF THE CHAPTER! SHOUT OUT TO MY BOY RAT “LET ME JUST TELL EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD ABOUT DEKU’S SUPER SECRET IDENTITY, I GUESS THAT’S ALL RIGHT NOW, NOTHING BAD COULD POSSIBLY COME OF THIS” PRINCIPAL. listen here you little shit

anyway but if you’ll excuse me... IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME. IF I COULD FIND A WAY. I’D TAKE BACK THOSE WORDS THAT HAVE HURT YOU, AND YOU’D STAY. I DON’T KNOW WHY I DID THE THINGS I DID. I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID THE THINGS I SAID. PRIDE’S LIKE A KNIFE, IT CAN CUT DEEP INSIDE. WORDS ARE LIKE WEAPONS, THEY WOUND SOMETIMES. BUM~ BUM~ BUM~, I DIDN’T REALLY MEAN TO HURT YOU. BUM~ BUM~ BUM~, I DIDN’T WANNA SEE YOU GO. I KNOW I MADE YOU CRY, BUT BABAY, IF I COULD TUUUUURN BACK TIIIIIIIIIIIME...

#bnha 322 #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #bakudeku #uraraka ochako #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #IF I COULD REACH THE STARS #I'D GIVE THEM ALL TO YOU #IF I COULD TURN BACK TIIIIIIIIME

465 notes · View notes

dadsbongos · 3 years ago

Text

the lov beach episode hori's too scared to give us

Movie/Game/Show: My Hero Academia Dynamic: League of Villains/Reader (Platonic) Warnings: uhh idk actually, dabi's kinda horny ig, i don't usually include this as a warning but swearing (there's quite a bit of it), feminine pronouns Summary: this is just 1860 words of me shutting my eyes, plugging my ears and ignoring the current state of the manga (: (beach episode type beat) ~~~

Pulling the large sun hat tighter on her head, (Y/n) looks over as her leader strolls up to the van Spinner had stolen earlier in the day. She quirks a brow at the man, putting a gentle hand over his handheld and pushing it down when he doesn’t notice her, “That’s what you’re wearing?”

Tomura huffs and steps back, narrowed eyes focusing on his black jeans and hoodie, “What’s it to you?”

“You’re wearing a hoodie in this heat, first of all, and also - it says ‘12 year old in gaming mode’, you’re asking to get bullied.”

“Yeah, well,” he grumbles as he tries to find an insult for the woman before resigning himself to mumble out a, “you look like you raided a college chick’s closet” while returning to his game.

“I think she looks great!” Twice piped up from inside the large van before yelling once again, “Absolutely hideous!”

Dabi nodded slightly from his window seat, pulling the strings of his hood so as few inches of his face as possible were showing, “I agree with him.”

“Which part?” (Y/n) crossed her arms, shooting the man a glare.

“Yep.”

“Dickface,” she hissed, reaching up to swat at Dabi’s arm through the rolled down window before turning to climb into the van, “A dickface who is also wearing a black hoodie in this heat. You two are actual nutjobs.”

“Van’s got AC,” Dabi shrugged off her concerns, still not even looking her way as she settled into the seat between him and Twice, “Didn’t know you cared so much, doll. Pretty sweet of you.”

“If you pass out from a heat stroke, I’m not the one taking you to the hospital,” she leaned over into the midrow seats of the van to glare at Tomura as he sat down, “That goes for you, too.”

“I’m not the one with a fire Quirk.”

“Just get Himiko some blood and she’ll take ‘em in all disguised! Let them die!” Twice pitched in with his own ideas, earning a shoulder pat from the woman.

“Good ideas, big guy, I like them.”

“Rude ass,” Dabi kicks at (Y/n)’s leg.

“I’m your boss, if you let me die you’re fucked.”

“Nobody’s dying on this trip, what the fuck are you guys talking about?” Spinner already appeared exasperated with the group and he’d barely been in the car for a second.

Compress got into the passenger seat as Spinner buckled into the driver’s side, he looked around before noticing an absence, “Where’s Toga?”

Suddenly, the door to Tomura’s seat is lugged open with a force, an overly excited blond teenager jumping over her boss and into the open seat beside him.

“You could’ve just gotten in on the other side,” Tomura clenches a fist to keep himself from slapping Himiko’s arm and causing a deathly accident.

“I didn’t know which side you were sitting on, so I just guessed!” Himiko giggles as Spinner starts the car.

“Asshole,” Tomura shakes his head, “This trip is pointless.”

“Kurogiri wants us to bond and stop fighting all the time,” Compress cuts in, “That’s why I’m in charge.”

“We’re adults- " (Y/n) interrupts herself, “Dabi, roll up the window, we’re pulling out of the safe zone.”

Dabi merely keeps his eyes closed behind his sunglasses and presses his head back against the neck rest of his seat.

“Roll up the window.”

“God, these winds are fuckin’ noisy, huh?”

“I hear ya, man!” Twice shouts before shaking his head, “Dabi, be nice to (Y/n). She’s your elder.”

“By a fucking year! Man, fuck you, Dabi,” the woman reaches over and presses the button to roll up the window herself, “Motion sickness or not, you don’t get to be a douche.”

“It’s actually exactly what it means, doll. Sorry to burst your bubble.”

“Stop calling me doll.”

“Ugh,” he grins at his own upcoming remark, “the princess makes a harsh demand.”

“I’m this close,” she pats his chest to make sure he opens his eyes before holding her index finger and thumb nearly pinched together in front of his face, “to beating your ass.”

“Here,” he reaches up and takes her fingers and clenches them together, “now you have to. As soon as we get to the beach, you have to fight me or else you’re a coward and a liar.”

(Y/n) grits her teeth and snaps her eyes shut, “I’m gonna lose it,” she leans into Twice’s side and looks up at him, smiling at the slightest hint of a concerned look behind his mask, “How’ve you been, big guy?”

“Perfectly fine!” he shakes his head before whispering, “I didn’t piss before we left and now I regret it.”

“Aw, want Spinner to pull over?”

“I think he’ll crash the car if I ask.”

“He’d be killing himself too, so I don’t think he’d be too cool with that.”

Twice quiets down as he notices the woman’s eyes beginning to flutter shut with drowsiness. Then, a sense of guilt beats at him as he sees the serene expression crossing his friend’s face. So calm and sweet - he truly adored his friend, and he wanted to do right by her. So, leaning down, he murmurs, “Sorry for calling you old.”

(Y/n)’s eyes dart open and immediately find Twice, she raises a brow at the man and shakes her head as her eyes slowly begin closing again, “I… it’s fine, dude, don’t worry about it.”

Dabi, as usual, is quick to jump into a conversation that was never his, “Old lady tempers, gotta be careful around them.”

“I swear to fucking God, Dabi!”

“What? What do you swear?”

“Shut the hell up!” Spinner snapped at children in the back seat, “You’re distracting me, loud asses.”

“Dabi started it!”

“I’m ending it!”

“Stop yelling,” Tomura commanded the group, carefully stuffing his handheld into his large front hoodie pocket and resting his head back, “I’m going to sleep and if I get woken up, I’ll kill you all.”

None of them believed him - not at all - but out of an odd respect for their leader’s need for rest, they stayed relatively silent as he slept. Murmurs and whispers being the loudest volume of their voices as Tomura snoozed in the van.

Eventually, Spinner came to the reserved spot on the beach that Kurogiri definitely didn’t hire people to kill civilians over. Himiko leaned over and gently shook Tomura awake as Compress popped the trunk to the van. (Y/n) shifted toward Dabi to ensure he was also awake and starting to feel less queasy before getting out of the middle seat so he and Twice could exit.

“Alright, there’s changing rooms…” Compress trailed off, looking around before sighing, “Nowhere in sight.”

“I’m already fine,” (Y/n) waved off, grabbing towels and an umbrella from Spinner, “You guys can take turns changing in the van while I set shit up.”

“I call first!” Himiko cheered, excitedly bouncing back into the van as the men all walked off to provide the teenager the privacy and distance she needed.

(Y/n) did as she’d said and began laying down towels and propping up parasols in the sand to provide shade. As more and more of her friends collected themselves along the beach, she spotted her almighty leader once again making a fashion mistake.

Bright, neon green and orange striped swim trunks hung over his hips and he didn’t avoid the woman’s stare. She purses her lips, “Who the hell goes clothes shopping for you? They shouldn’t be making executive decisions like this.”

Tomura shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?! Shigaraki, you have to be fucking with me.”

“I’m not,” he sits down on a towel under the parasol’s shade and returns to his gaming, “It’s probably Kurogiri but it isn’t like I ask him.”

“Holy shit. You’re an actual man-child.”

“Oh no, what gave me away?” he sarcastically whines, rolling his eyes at her.

“You being shameless about it is slightly worse…”

“(Y/n)!” Himiko cheerily calls, “Come join me in volleyball!”

“Is Twice playing?”

The blond looks over to the man in question and nods in approval.

“Are Quirks allowed?”

Another nod.

(Y/n) pats Compress’ shoulder, “I’ll let you take this game.”

Dabi comes up from behind while Spinner serves the ball on the beach, he’s removed his hoodie and now only rests in loose shorts that come to his knees and a white shirt. He scratches the back of his head in an uncharacteristically unnerved manner, “Not swimmin’?”

He earns a small shrug in response from the woman, “I’m not all too committed to the idea. At least not now.”

Nodding slowly, Dabi sits down at the edge of the towel unoccupied by Tomura and begins pulling at the fraying threads.

Sighing to herself, (Y/n) is slightly ashamed at how easily her heart softens upon noticing how uncomfortable Dabi seems. He doesn’t usually show as much skin as he is - which isn’t much - and he doesn’t usually throw himself into events where he’d be forced to interact with the others. He feels naked on the beach and he’d rather be dead than continue to suffer this embarrassment. And so, a body comes down onto the towel with his.

“Want company, misery?”

“Baking to death in the sun couldn’t get worse, even if it’s with you,” Dabi leaned back to rest against the woman’s legs.

“Wow,” (Y/n) fauxly gasped, sarcasm ripe in her words, “You being sweet? I never thought I’d never see the day.”

“Right? Thought I’d be dead by now,” his head tips back even more to lay it’s full weight on her legs, “You’re comfortable to rest on, old lady.”

“I’m gonna beat the shit out of you.”

“You still owe him an ass-beating from the car ride,” Tomura jumped in, a snarky smile on his lips as he spoke.

“I’m starting to think you won’t actually beat my ass,” Dabi grins smugly, “Like me too much.”

“I would destroy you in a fight, Dabi.”

“Hm, well, until you stop being a pussy and actually fight me, doesn’t sound like that’s the truth.”

“I swear to- " (Y/n) loudly huffs and cuts herself off before groaning, Dabi- "

“I’m no God,” Dabi paused to wink like the cheap bastard he is, “Unless you want me to be.”

Before the woman can respond, there’s a “heads up!” shouted by Himiko and a volleyball is hurtling towards the arguing duo. Tomura immediately leans over, not quite paying attention and sticks a hand out to block the ball, accidentally decaying it in the process. The leader comes to a stand and tosses up his hands, “What the shit, Toga?”

“Man,” the teenager whined, stomping her foot in the sand, “you destroyed the ball.”

“You almost destroyed (Y/n)’s face!” Tomura's voice quiets and softens to avoid upsetting the young girl over a mistake, “There’s probably another ball in the trunk.”

“I said ‘heads up’,” Himiko rolled her eyes, sending Twice off to find the spare volleyball in question.

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, “Oh, so all better, then?”

“Exactly!”

“No! That’s not how that works, Toga!”

Dabi snickered at the back-and-forth before giving a mock dreamy sigh, “Ahh, the sound of Kurogiri’s bonding plan working perfectly.”

#lov x reader #lov x you #bnha x reader #bnha x reader platonic #lov x reader platonic #shigaraki x reader #dabi x you #dabi x reader #twice x reader #jin bubaigawara x reader #himiko toga x you #himiko toga x reader #spinner x reader #tomura x reader #touya x reader

791 notes · View notes

waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years ago

Text

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!”

this will be a common occurrence

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!”

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

#i didn't mean to recap the entire fucking episode lol #sorry #it's to make up for my lack of content lately #or something #anyway #caryl #twd s11ep1 #twd s11 spoilers #dunlap tp

76 notes · View notes

badass-at-fandoming · 3 years ago

Text

Just Little Malkavian Things ~

Malkavians these days can do nothing but de-conceptualize, Dement, eat hot chip, and lie.

Since people seemed to enjoy the #JustLittleVentrueThings VTMB adventure, here's a matching Malkavian one. Though I'm gonna be real with ya here, I had less fun D:

I finally figured out why I have such trouble wrapping my head around depictions of Malkavians in VTM media. Books, Storytellers, and fans say it's like having a mental illness and being linked to a massive group chat. But, listen, I've lived around and with mental illness all my life. I've been in massive group chats. Being Malkavian ain't like that.

It IS like being an early-twenties English major in the midst of an existential crisis, over-worked and cross-faded outta your skull and watching horror movies to Cope(TM)

So it's like drugs. It's like you had too much weed and too much wine and are let loose on Los Angeles. Which. My friends and I have and we, coincidentally, also "fought" a stop sign. The Malkavian PC never really seemed like a character to me: she's like a collection of cliches and dude-bros doing blunts while watching slasher movies. I named her Liotta after the Psychic Shop owner, and I'm sad Liotta didn't really get to be a person.

I wasn't surprised by any of the dialog. It's a pattern. Alliteration, allusion, animal joke. Alliteration, allusion, animal joke. It lost its charm.

Often, I didn't know what the FUCK I was saying. Which is the Malkavian Experience(TM), according to Rosa.

Anyway

Nonsense time

Most characters have an extra paragraph of dialog to Acknowledge That You Are A Malkavian. Some get an extra conversation branch. For example, there's lots of new Bertie dialog and he was all impressed Liotta knows about Gehenna and Thin-bloods <3. The Anarchs characters, especially Skelter, get a lot more. Skelter, Ash, and Liotta totally vibe.

If you sneak around the Santa Monica drug house, they talk about Mercurio?? Hello?? Mercurio, you bent Masquerade by not getting beat up real good.

Zero pretense about Voerman. Yes, I have DID; yes, I am making it your problem.

When Liotta talked to Beckett, he said the DID was "something to look forward to." Goddamnit, Beckett. That's not how the Bane or mental illness works! >:-(

I've never sneaked before!!! Did you know that the Tong AND the American gang downtown have fakes in their suitcases??? Like, Full On, "it's just stuffed with newspapers, brah." They were going to kill each other over newspapers. For some reason the Tong brought the REAL suitcase along too, but I'm so past having VTM make any sort of sense. It's fine.

Accidentally pissed off Nines. I meant farmer (affectionate) and Nines thought I meant farmer (derogatory). :(

The Dementation powers are (a) pretty purple loop-de-loops, (b) not as effective as Dominate (reaaaallyyy missed a good AOE attack), and (c) oddly enough, gave more compassionate dialog choices. I mean. In the pen-and-paper version, Dementation isn't conflict-focused, so the devs had to jigger it to use as attacks. But I was touched when Liotta made Hannah believe she was Paul, so Hannah got to say goodbye. Making Samantha believe Liotta was a pet turtle was funny and spared her the pain of her friend vanishing a second time. Heather thinks her entire experience was a dream and returns to her life, more or less unscathed.

Boris?? Asked Liotta to kill Venus for him???? DUDE, WHAT. I didn't know he could counter-offer!! What happens if you take up his offer? Who controls Confession? Does it close down??

Pro Tip: don't trust the pale woman in a cowboy stripper outfit who comes out of your vent and tells you everything's fine.

I went through an ENTIRE Ventrue playthrough without puking and Liotta ate one (1) unhoused person and blew chunks. I didn't realize Diseased Blood was a threat. What happens if you skip the Plague-bearer quest? Should you just never chomp on the Downtown unhoused community?

Strauss called Liotta "young one" and I was like, sir. You're not Beckett, you can't trick me.

A rat dances in the Downtown sewers and tells Liotta that the grass is greener in someone else's asshole.

And also will take you places.

Do you know what it's like for a Capri Sun to suddenly start speaking and offer taxi services.

LaCroix: how did Bach find me??? also LaCroix: [names his company after himself] [lives in Ventrue Tower]

Liotta told Beckett that Kindred are a joke and I got extra EXP for being so sneaky.

DMP produced snuff films even before Andrei???!!!! I thought all the blood was from the lil geo-dudes.

Liotta agreed with Andrei that Caine is here and boot-scooting around in his lil Angst Mobile. :D

As bad as Liotta was in group fights, she repeatedly made bosses cower and stand quietly while she beat them to death. Andrei had a full on lay-on-the-floor temper tantrum in his war form and Liotta just. Smacked him until he exploded. She didn't even take damage!

Imalia's computer password is ALSO "cleopatra." Just like Tawni's! Dual reference to the Embrace type

IDK why I never asked this before, but, um, who does Mitnick share the bunk bed with? Barabus..?

I went back to the Empire Hotel Penthouse suite to fetch the educational book and the Russian mob dudes were still there?? Hello, sirs, your leader is dead. You can leave now.

Liotta heard the real thoughts of the Red Dragon hostess...and also some debate about the Dark Father's presence in LA, heehee.

I thought it was fun that one of the "take me away, Cabbie!" taxi replies mentioned riding in a car like father and child. :D

"Why is the Mandarin giggling at me" is a sentence that came out of my face.

With the different dialog options, sometimes it's impossible to be polite to NPCs. For example: Liotta could only call VV "dolly/doll/toy doll" instead of her preferred names; the Chinatown gun seller felt frightened, thinking we were Police or Immigration.

Some great fourth wall breaks in the dialog: "I don't want to get involved either, but tell that to whoever is playing me!" to Beckett after the Giovanni Mansion.

"You can't spell success without whatever the hell my name is."

"If I cannot win with effort, I will cheat my way to victory. I am gone." Funnily enough, this was my first run where I didn't hack in to boost stats.

"I just want it to end. I feel like I've been playing forever."

Some nice wider lore references: "I devour knowledge like the great worm devours the corpse of society" could refer to how Salout, in tapeworm form, is devouring Tremere's body and destabilizing the Clan and/or Kindred night society.

"They should have a channel devoted to you in my head" to Beckett. In his Diary, Beckett witnesses Malkavians devouring Malkav and may or may not join the Cobweb (PS check out this great fanfic where he does).

This made me stare into space for a minute and question my life choices. During the Sabbat massacre, Liotta didn't snack on any of the blood doll ghouls (ya know, the ones with the eyes gouged out). She had such high Inspection + Finance that she had $4k in her wallet and could buy blood. I wanted to test a rumor that if you don't feed on the blood dolls, you get extra EXP. You do. BUT anywAY, right before the Tremere miniboss, Liotta was sword-fighting some goons and the blood doll...attacked him for her? Like. He moved on his own. When the goon was dead, the blood doll asked if Liotta was all right. This might have been a glitch but...the horrific implications that those men are still conscious, still willful, still feeling. ACK. I hope they got out the next morning.

RIP Ming Xiao. Flamethrower right to the tiddies.

I stole @ryttu3k's idea and noclipped through the werewolf section. Liotta still killed the Garou, but I didn't want the stress.

Caine is very Caine. "Don't you get it? We've already been judged!"

Liotta went Anarch because what little backstory I came up for her was she considered Smiling Jack her sire. Nines complimented her ability to murder.

Sheriff got sooooo dizzy that he fell over right onto Liotta's sword 27 times.

Dancing werewolf ending! Seemed fitting. :D

#vtm #vtmb #vampire the masquerade #malkavian #anarch #smiling jack #sebastian lacroix #nines rodriguez #cuthbert beckett #ming xiao #andrei the defiler #text post #my vtm nonsense

68 notes · View notes